JustPearlyThings - April 08, 2023


How To Maintain A Successful Marriage In 2023


Episode Stats

Length

11 minutes

Words per Minute

222.64915

Word Count

2,453

Sentence Count

1


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 i have a question with the prenup stuff i feel like i it's tough because it's almost like if
00:00:06.560 you have a kid you're screwed anyway yeah when it comes to marriage like just i've been doing
00:00:10.880 this documentary on the court system but even so i just don't think i could ever advise a guy not
00:00:15.920 to get a prenup because um because just the outcomes are so catastrophic especially when
00:00:22.000 i'm learning like about um men like committing suicide a lot during that it's like a really big
00:00:27.360 problem and i started um asking uber drivers that i drive with and i'll just start asking them
00:00:32.560 questions and i found out like i would guess like one out of four of my uber drivers they somehow
00:00:38.640 were in the court system in some way so it's like all these men that were just financially ruined at
00:00:44.000 their 40s or 50s to the point they're never going to come back so do you advise men to like do the
00:00:49.840 same route that you did because i would just have a hard time doing that my you know i'm a logical guy
00:00:54.080 and i like to think of like in things about mitigating risk probably i made a very suboptimal
00:00:58.320 decision um i'm very happy with my decision it was a personal choice for me to you know i i get
00:01:05.200 really hard for commitment i get hard for discipline it's just how it commitment turns me on i've done
00:01:10.480 one thing in my life you know at a university selling door-to-door i started to sell a company
00:01:14.880 that's i sold suits door-to-door in office buildings which has just grown to 20 countries we now have over
00:01:19.040 100 people working at our company i've only that's the only thing i've done i don't like jumping around i don't
00:01:23.760 like to i don't like to look for success in places that i don't know they exist i i don't like to
00:01:30.560 i don't like to look at my neighbor's lawn i like to fertilize my own lawn so for me that decision of
00:01:34.800 commitment was actually bigger than the risk that i felt and that's just me not everybody's going to
00:01:39.360 feel that way and um and that's okay i i mean i don't think i don't know there's a right answer i
00:01:44.560 think this is to me it's just personal i was just wondering you have so many guys you mentor so i was
00:01:48.160 just curious if you advise them the same way i tell my guys this never marry from a weak position never
00:01:52.400 commit from a weak position what i mean from a weak position you know when you see red flags and you're
00:01:56.560 like everybody's you know everybody knows that you see the red flags and you choose to ignore them
00:02:00.960 why because that's the only option you have and like i tell guys in our company when they joined
00:02:04.880 they're in their early 20s i'm like don't like don't commit to the first girl you freaking kiss man
00:02:11.520 because you're like there's things you're not going to see like go and run the hose just straight up
00:02:15.440 like go go through the 304s run it run it run it run it so that sorry man that's that's a very different i
00:02:21.520 expected you to have more of a trap no no that's very opposite no no that is that is the optimal
00:02:26.880 the op the optimal thing that a man can do is make himself as highly attractive to women as possible
00:02:33.840 as possible to increase his pool and then pick the option that optimizes for him and then commit to that
00:02:39.840 now some people might say oh you should have three or four wives some people want that i don't want
00:02:42.960 that like i'm i'm happy what did you think about what he said earlier about guys liking um alpha women
00:02:49.520 sometimes like certain guys well i found myself very my mom is an alpha woman she's a high high
00:02:54.800 income earner um compared to my dad so she actually her career took off you know in computer science
00:02:59.840 she's got a master's computer science so when we moved to canada she was like the soviet engineer
00:03:04.080 and her career took off and my dad just remained a humble mechanic um and so i found myself at a young
00:03:09.520 age attracted to these women that were sort of like argumentative uh sometimes would cause a scene in
00:03:14.640 public because that's my mom um and and wanted control and i made a and again i i started finding
00:03:20.720 myself attracted to those women and i remember my first serious girlfriend for two years she never
00:03:25.920 cooked the meal she said i think it's beneath women to cook for men in the bin there it was and that
00:03:30.720 wasn't the only and that was the only that wasn't the only thing can i share something something that
00:03:34.880 came in my mind basically what you're saying is i get it because you know for example a lot of people
00:03:43.040 dm me saying they talk about my chest and that and i'm like is it because they've got a fat mom and
00:03:49.840 they've been like you know when they're breastfeeding so that's why they dm me talking about wanting to
00:03:55.200 lick my nipples and all that so i get it it comes from childhood and it comes from like little things like
00:04:01.040 you know i mean do you guys get it comes from certain feelings must come from childhood for
00:04:06.880 them to have those things as adults and i really believe people that have fat mothers also like
00:04:12.560 fat people uh there's the study there there's a study that's been shown that poor men prefer uh
00:04:18.320 corpulent you know larger women and what's interesting about that i'm like i wonder i'm like i
00:04:22.480 wonder if it's because i know i i wonder if it's because that's just the pool that they have available
00:04:26.720 to them you know and obviously if you grow up poor there's more likelihood you will be poor like
00:04:30.400 of course there is that like we know that wow um yeah sorry you were gonna no i was gonna ask you
00:04:36.640 like in terms obviously every man's different yeah you see me i couldn't be of a girl for two years
00:04:42.480 one year six months you can't cook no dinner what's going on but you're probably you're probably just
00:04:50.080 naturally better with women than i was i wasn't naturally good at it but but you know what i did
00:04:53.600 no i'm just serious like if you worked where you worked and you were getting some good for you man
00:04:56.960 i'd like to know you got good ribs i don't have i don't want to like maybe i argue and i'm being
00:05:02.160 too you know we're talking about being picky some man don't care about cooking they'll teach the girl
00:05:06.880 how to cook very much and my wife cooks all the time and it's amazing and it's only steak at our
00:05:11.760 house now that's the rule this month i've only i've only eaten steak at home this month's the only
00:05:15.520 thing i ate but anyways um i i i was intentional about again i'll just share my thing this everybody's
00:05:20.160 different i had a book uh a vision book i believed in actualization because my mentor said you need
00:05:25.760 to believe in it okay i said fine i don't believe in astrology but i'll try this stuff whatever
00:05:29.760 i had a book and one of the it was like a folder there was like you know goals in different areas
00:05:35.200 and one of the uh one of the dividers was about my ideal mate and i actually described very vividly
00:05:41.280 with pictures what my ideal mate would be to me that included not only looks of course looks was there
00:05:46.480 i was number one uh for me it also included you know background family really like i got really
00:05:52.320 detailed i have another mentor who was 39 he sold his company at 39 for 50 million bucks and just look
00:05:57.040 a guy put me on the board of his freaking company just i said dude i'm i was like 24 like what are you
00:06:02.560 doing he goes dimitri i want you to just sit there and listen we're not going to pay you i just want
00:06:07.600 you to sit and listen so you can be around these people and just see how they talk see how they think
00:06:11.280 and just learn from them and i learned a ton from that right and and he was like girls
00:06:15.920 relationship with her father matters a lot i didn't know why i didn't understand it but i said
00:06:19.200 okay so i wrote down i want my future wife to have an amazing relationship with her dad and respect her
00:06:23.200 father that was the words he said respect her father so i i got really really detailed right now
00:06:27.760 as i got into like 24 25 26 my options opened up profusely like it was like it was like good times
00:06:34.560 at that time but then i was choosing from the women that made themselves available to me and i and i
00:06:39.200 didn't turn the sex down let's put it that way but in terms of like who i was going to wife up i
00:06:43.360 knew exactly what i wanted and that may be different from different people but i really
00:06:46.400 want to take a strategic position and i was willing to wait you know why i was willing to wait because
00:06:50.400 the sex was available you know i think i think if the guys aren't getting laid then they're probably
00:06:54.800 just gonna yes get married for the p that's a terrible decision yeah i got married for the character
00:06:59.280 and i i you know and that and that's been the intent yeah dimitri you've been sharing some sort of
00:07:05.840 special wisdom because i've actually really been enjoying this yeah yeah yeah it's actually your wisdom to hear
00:07:11.760 your experiences to to how it is for you also the fact that you've come from a hardship background
00:07:18.000 i must say i think you deserve a clap might as well give him a clap guys yeah
00:07:22.720 can i touch you guys you guys know you guys you guys know that you guys know that statistically if
00:07:27.280 you're yeah i was going to say statistically if you're wearing a suit people just believe you more
00:07:30.400 as an expert so um you know what's interesting when you were talking about um no tattoos no i don't know
00:07:39.920 if you said piercings no piercings that was enough for my wife no piercings no tattoos earrings or no
00:07:45.280 earrings but no hooves yeah yeah sorry no no no no baby no no like no big hoops that's someone with
00:07:51.760 no but it's interesting because when i was growing up my mom would always say that to me she'd be like
00:07:56.480 you can't get a tattoo like you and i'd be like mom you're so judgmental why would you say like you
00:08:02.800 know and i would always be you know just arguing with my mom about it and she would always tell me you
00:08:07.120 can't get tattoos no piercings no this no that and um i made it to 18 right and i went to germany
00:08:12.800 for the summer and i i was thinking i was like maybe i will just piss my mom you know you're 18
00:08:17.440 right please don't get a swastika no no no so i'm joking i'm joking i didn't i didn't end up doing it
00:08:23.520 but it's like one of the things i'm so thankful for now is that like my mom just like beat that into
00:08:29.040 me like no heavy makeup no no tattoos no don't like stay in shape like all that stuff like i'm just
00:08:36.160 yeah and it's interesting you say that because what i noticed is like my brothers like they
00:08:40.720 won't even give a girl like a second look if they say she's got any tattoos that are visible
00:08:45.840 and it's interesting it's sad because sometimes like girls are so beautiful but it's like they'll
00:08:49.840 get like a sleeve or they'll get something i'm like why are you wasting that yeah yeah that's true but
00:08:54.720 is there someone without tattoo or without piercing better than someone that has them like that's a
00:08:59.760 great question very good question does it make them greater than the one that doesn't have them
00:09:04.000 yeah i know and there's no tattoos no tattoos i love makeup i love that's just me i'm a girly girl
00:09:12.320 you know what i mean but it's true like my mom was always like no tattoos no no they're very
00:09:17.200 judgmental i mean i was i was raised as a roman yeah what is what is it about you want to hear
00:09:25.520 something crazy i value purity yes i just i i had to learn about myself like why do i feel that way
00:09:33.360 and then i introspect i value purity is number one and and and again i don't i know that some people
00:09:38.240 listen to this or even here are not going to agree with me that's okay i don't i don't make your
00:09:42.000 decisions you make your decisions i'm just telling you my own perspective like i value purity and i think it
00:09:46.640 shows a lack of impulse control uh what do you uh sorry what do you define as a purity just clean
00:09:53.440 body that's partially yeah yeah like this it's symbolic right i understand it's not it's not
00:09:58.240 physical it's metaphysical it's symbolic like yeah they're like and by the way i see you have tattoos
00:10:02.160 i'm not like you're i'm sure that like 99 of men would disagree with me on this so i'm probably
00:10:07.440 not statistically correct here so just know that you're more qualified in many men's eyes than less
00:10:12.400 qualified because i'm sure other men would see that as fun and uh and expressive and and maybe
00:10:18.400 um no they don't whatever i don't know i don't know but i don't find it attractive it depends on
00:10:23.200 the type of guy you're going for guys that guys that from like a corporate background like that's not
00:10:29.840 what they go for typically from a business you know what they say i was just banned on tick tock
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