JustPearlyThings - March 22, 2023


Men Are NOT Afforded this Luxury


Episode Stats

Length

7 minutes

Words per Minute

210.3624

Word Count

1,666

Sentence Count

268


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Can I just say where my frustrations come from?
00:00:02.380 Like you're going about going back to history.
00:00:04.940 I was 12 years old and I come to England.
00:00:07.100 I was English born, went to Barbados, come back and I was told, go back to the jungle.
00:00:11.440 You know, so it all happened.
00:00:12.940 I was 12 years old.
00:00:14.580 And what I don't, what I feel, Pearl can say, Pearl knows.
00:00:19.340 Some of the women that come on this show and I blast them, I give them my personal number.
00:00:25.140 To say, well, you know, if you want to change, help me.
00:00:28.220 And then I've got the men on Instagram.
00:00:30.680 That I mentor on Instagram.
00:00:32.940 Who do you think calls me up regular?
00:00:34.620 The men.
00:00:35.060 I have never had a woman.
00:00:36.800 I have never had a 18 year old girl.
00:00:39.860 My therapy practice is men.
00:00:41.080 With four men.
00:00:42.180 I gave them my number.
00:00:43.180 I've had numerous people on this show, women, young girls, under 21, that I've tried to help.
00:00:49.540 And do they take it now?
00:00:50.540 Because she's old school.
00:00:51.680 But yet the men, the men that I talk to, or the men that hear me, they'll phone me up.
00:00:56.500 Oh, Archie Jenny, can you give me some help?
00:00:58.680 Can you advise me?
00:00:59.600 I have had the men phone up the show.
00:01:02.100 And then I've said, no, you're fat.
00:01:04.040 Just like that.
00:01:05.060 You're fat.
00:01:05.660 You need to get to the gym.
00:01:07.300 And the guys will come back and they'll show me.
00:01:09.560 One guy came back and I looked at him and I thought, do I recognize you?
00:01:12.820 Well, guess what?
00:01:14.040 The men will lose weight.
00:01:14.220 The men will lose weight.
00:01:14.280 He lost weight.
00:01:15.780 The men.
00:01:15.960 Yes, me too.
00:01:17.040 He got himself a girlfriend.
00:01:18.380 He was doing great.
00:01:19.660 She's right.
00:01:20.000 But the girls.
00:01:20.560 She's right.
00:01:21.000 The men don't listen.
00:01:22.780 But see, men can't be forever victims.
00:01:25.600 Because nobody cares about them.
00:01:26.640 Nobody cares about their problems.
00:01:28.440 Men are abusive.
00:01:29.280 Look at Johnny Depp.
00:01:30.060 But they talk to me about their problems and they change.
00:01:32.580 Well, it's because.
00:01:33.080 They take the advice from me.
00:01:34.780 But the women don't.
00:01:35.940 Well, it's because the hardest thing to do is change yourself.
00:01:38.440 You have to live with yourself every day.
00:01:40.780 And men actually look to solve problems.
00:01:42.780 Women just look to feel better most of the time.
00:01:45.820 Yeah.
00:01:46.040 I mean, yeah.
00:01:49.480 Yeah.
00:01:50.520 Sorry, go ahead.
00:01:51.160 Go ahead.
00:01:51.280 No, because there's even a guy.
00:01:53.000 I think his tag is fling fuck on it.
00:01:55.320 But he's.
00:01:55.960 That's the way it's spelled.
00:01:57.160 But he's.
00:01:57.680 He's not.
00:01:58.120 No.
00:01:58.680 I have the men phoning me up on my Instagram.
00:02:01.400 But the women never phone up.
00:02:03.540 You sit here and you say the same things over and over again.
00:02:07.160 You try and give them help.
00:02:08.380 And then they walk out of there.
00:02:09.380 It's like.
00:02:10.160 Oh.
00:02:10.820 She doesn't know nothing.
00:02:11.540 But can I say this to you?
00:02:13.980 If you hit me up.
00:02:15.040 My Instagram.
00:02:15.780 I'll give it to you.
00:02:17.060 Okay.
00:02:17.520 If you want to talk.
00:02:18.440 Sure.
00:02:19.140 I promise you.
00:02:20.280 No, it's my responsibility.
00:02:21.840 It's not.
00:02:22.380 And no, no.
00:02:23.640 Don't feel like you're bothering me.
00:02:25.820 It's my job.
00:02:27.300 God has put me on this earth just to.
00:02:30.180 You know, for myself.
00:02:31.340 Why do you think that though?
00:02:32.940 What makes you think that?
00:02:35.260 Because.
00:02:35.480 I don't know.
00:02:36.000 I just.
00:02:37.260 I don't know.
00:02:37.980 The way my mother raised me.
00:02:39.540 My father raised me.
00:02:41.560 I don't want you to feel alone.
00:02:43.520 You know.
00:02:43.740 And a lot of young women don't have someone to say something directly to them.
00:02:47.720 But this is the thing I'm going to tell you.
00:02:49.020 Just like Aunt Jenny just said.
00:02:50.900 If you are.
00:02:52.280 I can listen to another opinion.
00:02:54.560 I can listen to if you feel something different.
00:02:56.960 But if I feel like you're bucking.
00:02:58.680 And you're like going to be rebellious.
00:03:00.580 And you're still making choices with the same men.
00:03:02.400 If I tell you.
00:03:03.080 Listen.
00:03:03.560 These are red flags.
00:03:04.460 You got to stop.
00:03:05.380 I do this now.
00:03:06.780 My father's my best friend.
00:03:08.120 My sister.
00:03:08.740 They will tell me automatically.
00:03:09.980 MTR will tell you.
00:03:11.840 I'm scared of my sister.
00:03:13.760 Okay.
00:03:14.200 Like I'm terrified of her.
00:03:16.380 Because she loves me so much.
00:03:18.040 She wants the best for me.
00:03:19.040 She's doing so much improving.
00:03:20.300 But I know.
00:03:21.480 If she's giving me instruction.
00:03:23.200 And I've stepped out.
00:03:25.000 I'm going to get it.
00:03:26.440 She is going to read me.
00:03:28.440 And I'm like terrified of it.
00:03:29.860 But it's a good terrified.
00:03:31.300 Because I know she loves me.
00:03:32.280 She wants the best for me.
00:03:33.840 And she can see me being.
00:03:34.880 If I'm being hard headed.
00:03:36.240 Same thing with my father.
00:03:37.380 So you have to understand.
00:03:38.900 If you reach out for help.
00:03:40.740 Be prepared to receive that help.
00:03:43.360 In the way that it comes.
00:03:44.560 It's not going to come.
00:03:45.440 Always in a pretty package.
00:03:46.820 And it's not going to be.
00:03:47.860 What you want to hear.
00:03:49.000 But if you have a soft heart.
00:03:50.740 And a willing.
00:03:51.620 You have a willing.
00:03:52.660 Your ears are willing to listen.
00:03:54.780 To digest.
00:03:56.080 Doesn't mean you have to be perfect.
00:03:57.860 But if you're going to.
00:03:58.660 You know.
00:03:58.920 So many women.
00:04:00.160 They rebel against older women.
00:04:02.760 They think.
00:04:03.120 Well I'm young.
00:04:03.840 She's old.
00:04:04.320 She don't know any better.
00:04:05.480 And we don't know anything.
00:04:06.600 And we just want you to.
00:04:08.600 Times have changed.
00:04:09.320 It's different.
00:04:10.220 You're right.
00:04:10.700 And it's like.
00:04:11.780 Times have not changed.
00:04:13.000 People are still people.
00:04:14.480 And we can see things from a different perspective.
00:04:16.700 And like.
00:04:17.420 You think she wants you to fail.
00:04:19.820 Even with all her passion and things.
00:04:21.780 Even with that.
00:04:22.360 Do you think she's feeling this fiery.
00:04:24.120 Because she doesn't care.
00:04:25.180 No.
00:04:25.500 Of course not.
00:04:26.280 She's frustrated.
00:04:27.340 Because it's tough love.
00:04:28.820 It is.
00:04:29.380 Tough love is good.
00:04:30.560 I think sometimes sensitive love is also good.
00:04:33.580 I think our society right now at the moment.
00:04:37.240 We're on the topic of modern women.
00:04:39.480 I think modern women need a bit more sensitive.
00:04:42.080 Because I feel like with your last generation.
00:04:46.480 Your parents were really tough on you.
00:04:48.780 And I think a lot of our parents.
00:04:50.840 For example.
00:04:51.600 Like my mum and dad was quite tough on me.
00:04:54.620 But I think our generation is starting to learn more about like psychology.
00:04:58.220 And more about how people actually feel.
00:05:00.580 And how people should be treated.
00:05:01.740 So we've got a bit more sensitive.
00:05:04.020 I actually.
00:05:04.740 I have a very strong feeling on psychology.
00:05:07.200 I think the more we learn about psychology.
00:05:09.340 The more crazy you become.
00:05:10.400 I think yeah.
00:05:11.360 Do you think?
00:05:11.960 Yeah.
00:05:12.300 I say this.
00:05:12.880 I'm getting my master's in psychology.
00:05:15.020 Yeah.
00:05:15.520 Not because I want it.
00:05:16.560 But because I needed a visa.
00:05:18.360 Is that it?
00:05:19.180 And I thought it would be easy.
00:05:20.420 To be honest.
00:05:21.260 Kind of is.
00:05:23.480 And.
00:05:24.820 Yeah.
00:05:25.240 Everyone in the program is crazy.
00:05:26.600 I'm not saying there are exceptions.
00:05:27.700 But literally they're all nuts.
00:05:28.900 Literally insane.
00:05:29.480 Yeah.
00:05:31.320 I think.
00:05:31.980 But I don't.
00:05:32.960 I actually disagree with you.
00:05:34.460 I think that we need more tough love.
00:05:36.160 I don't think anyone.
00:05:37.040 I don't think.
00:05:37.800 Everyone lies to women.
00:05:39.120 Whenever men tell us what they want.
00:05:40.880 Society lies to us.
00:05:42.200 I was going to say that.
00:05:42.800 She didn't say that.
00:05:43.800 What?
00:05:44.260 She said.
00:05:44.660 Didn't she say you need to be more sensitive to modern women?
00:05:46.880 I was a.
00:05:47.200 Yeah.
00:05:47.400 She said.
00:05:47.880 No.
00:05:48.060 I did say that.
00:05:49.120 I did say that.
00:05:49.800 No.
00:05:50.000 She said you need to be more sensitive.
00:05:51.160 You need the opposite.
00:05:51.860 You need the absolute opposite.
00:05:53.320 That's what I said.
00:05:53.860 I said we need to be tougher.
00:05:55.380 Yeah.
00:05:55.520 No but she said she wants you to be more sensitive.
00:05:59.940 Yeah.
00:06:00.540 Can I ask you a question?
00:06:02.040 So this happened at 17 years old.
00:06:03.520 Yeah.
00:06:03.800 And how old are you right now?
00:06:04.900 I'm 21.
00:06:06.000 Okay.
00:06:06.200 This happened three, four years ago.
00:06:07.520 Three, four years ago.
00:06:08.280 Yeah.
00:06:08.920 Do you still consider yourself a victim of that?
00:06:11.320 No.
00:06:12.160 I consider myself as someone who survived it and somebody that like I feel like I could
00:06:19.340 have done a lot of things better.
00:06:20.440 I could have left a lot of times when I didn't leave but I felt like I was just sort of sucked
00:06:26.840 into like a cycle where I felt like I couldn't get out.
00:06:32.420 Can I just say something young lady right?
00:06:33.920 What you need to do right is say to yourself I'm a survivor.
00:06:38.300 I'm not a victim.
00:06:39.300 Yeah.
00:06:39.520 That's the first thing.
00:06:40.220 No, I'm serious.
00:06:41.800 You see what I mean?
00:06:42.760 You see what I mean?
00:06:43.400 Yeah, it's not a game.
00:06:44.540 I'm not joking.
00:06:45.580 No, but I'm not joking.
00:06:46.680 I mean to be four years outside of the situation happening and it's still drawing tears out
00:06:50.560 of you.
00:06:51.080 No, I mean like it ended recently as in like it started about 16, 17.
00:06:55.980 Why were you in it?
00:06:56.880 You were in it for four years as an adult and you didn't remove yourself from the situation?
00:07:01.540 Yes.
00:07:02.100 And again, like I said, it's a mistake that I made.
00:07:04.440 That's why you need more tough love because you've gotten pandered to.
00:07:07.800 You've gotten coddled to.
00:07:08.920 But I didn't.
00:07:09.480 That's why you stayed in that situation.
00:07:10.080 I didn't necessarily get coddled because again, the only people that I was seeking advice
00:07:14.960 You needed a father to step into the situation and say, what are you doing?
00:07:17.800 He's obviously, he's obviously not into you.
00:07:20.260 He's obviously doing, he's obviously, right.
00:07:22.640 But that's tough love.
00:07:23.700 So you don't need more of bit this.
00:07:26.340 You don't need more babying.
00:07:27.660 You need someone to step in and say, this is, this is what a man is.
00:07:30.660 This is how a man should act.
00:07:32.260 And if he is not that version, then you need to step, you need to go somewhere else.
00:07:38.840 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
00:07:46.540 If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.
00:07:51.440 Every donation helps and it helps make what we do possible.