JustPearlyThings - July 04, 2023


Modern Woman Got Schooled on SUBMISSION


Episode Stats

Length

47 minutes

Words per Minute

211.89677

Word Count

10,080

Sentence Count

4


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 coming up next you want to submit when you feel like it yes but then the bible also the thing is
00:00:09.800 the bible does instruct women with like how to act in marriage but then the bible also instructs men
00:00:15.040 with how to treat their wives as well and so like the bible says to women like respect your husbands
00:00:20.100 and husbands love your wives and so i feel like yeah but how are we supposed to get a christian
00:00:25.300 guy if we can't start with what we have to do yeah you have to submit in the bible it's biblical
00:00:30.040 so it can it confuses me it just confuses me like when you say you want a christian man but you don't
00:00:35.480 want to live in a christian way so like why would a man that's super christian want to be with you
00:00:40.300 if you don't want to live in a christian way which is biblical women are sexist to men do you guys
00:00:45.380 agree okay so i'm like if we most of us have open instagrams and relationships meaning we can get
00:00:51.620 attention from high status men and that's always on the table but if he sends a message like it's
00:00:56.760 the end of the world no but if he does what he was doing she messaged me first i was just responding
00:01:04.240 it's rude not to respond what kind of message we're talking about if it's like if it's like you know
00:01:08.360 emojis and stuff like that then that's a bit mad and i mean if it's general conversation
00:01:12.080 then you know yeah you might be able to bust kids it's crazy i think i just look at things
00:01:17.340 like differently i just no i'm with you i'm with you you pick like battles and wars i guess
00:01:22.580 yeah you gotta pick battles because if you're the type of person to like date for like a long-term
00:01:27.220 relationship or marriage right um then it's like like in the grand scheme of things is a message
00:01:34.380 gonna make or break your life exactly it's the intention about you know i think most of it becomes
00:01:39.840 that gray area of the unknown so it's the attention behind the message all right let me ask you a
00:01:43.980 question because i don't feel like you're on my side i'm not okay you're with your girl you've been
00:01:50.500 with her a little while you're on a break yeah break you mean she's single okay okay she's single
00:01:57.080 she's single okay so you might agree with me on this yeah you remember each other for a while now
00:02:00.860 i was a situation okay you have a girl she's not your girl but you know like you have not it sounds
00:02:06.960 bad like a backup not a backup you have people on your phone that you know like you now i was in a
00:02:12.480 situation where i was always with someone from like 16 so when i wasn't with someone i used to just
00:02:17.600 grab a girl that i knew like me because i wanted to feel like it was a fulfill thing right so if i'm
00:02:23.720 not with so if i'm not with you and we've broken up for like a week and we have a sexual situation
00:02:28.720 i didn't cheat on you because we were on a break and you'll mind them fingers bro
00:02:33.360 no i hear you what i'll say is um the moment you are on a break you've you fed her to the wolves bro
00:02:45.380 you can't and vice versa bro you're single you're two single people it's no longer i know it may feel
00:02:51.400 like you know okay cool we were in a relationship but boy you're not under that covenant you're not
00:02:57.080 under that contract that obligation that verbal commitment anymore in it so whatever you do
00:03:01.880 it might be frowned upon it might be whatever but some people just move on quicker than others that's
00:03:05.720 all i feel like you're like 20 on my side now there we go there we go would you guys work through a
00:03:11.280 message yeah she would um i think no i think the intentions matter and i think that if he's messaging
00:03:21.920 somebody else he's already checked out and i'm i think i'm very strict when it comes to that like i
00:03:26.620 think that if you're going to be in a relationship with me i think that you have to put some
00:03:30.020 boundaries in place i think what if you're on holiday what if you're on holiday and then you
00:03:33.760 come back and you find that he he messaged another girl because you were away i'm leaving him that'd be
00:03:39.360 human yeah no no i'm leaving him i think i i i don't tolerate anything but because to me it seems a
00:03:46.200 bit much to break up over a message it depends what the message is though yeah it depends what the
00:03:49.800 intention is quite clear how how old are you guys again you're what i'm 29 29 how do you two he's 22
00:03:59.200 though i'm 29 22 is the difference i'm 24 okay she has a little time to waste yeah yeah it's true
00:04:05.700 like you're in a different lane you're in a different lane i'm just thinking because you're
00:04:11.840 you're 29 if you're in a relationship like do you want kids yes um do you don't have any kids no
00:04:16.940 so you know if you're single by 30 your chance of having a child drops below 50 percent so you're
00:04:22.440 actually more likely you to not have a kid than have one and by 34 your chance of having like any
00:04:27.740 kids at all like geriatric pregnancy working is like nothing it's like yeah it's pretty scary so
00:04:33.680 it's like i know the good i serve though i said i know the good i serve
00:04:38.400 like i'm just thinking because i'm assuming you're picky right uh define like picky like
00:04:46.120 i think i have my standards i don't think i ask for anything too crazy i just want a guy that's
00:04:51.140 like serious about me has pure intentions for me and will be loyal well i'm just thinking because
00:04:56.000 you've been dating since what 18 yeah 20 yeah right 20 okay so like i'm just thinking of nine years if
00:05:02.440 none of the guys that approached you you like enough to marry like you're probably picky oh right
00:05:07.960 and this is just me like usually that women that are single over the age of like 25
00:05:13.520 it's not an insult you know no no no i think to be honest i'm a christian and i think that that
00:05:18.940 makes things a bit harder for me because there's certain things that i'm like that i want to do to
00:05:25.820 please god or there's some some views that i have that are more like biblical than like the world
00:05:30.720 and i think that now i used to date guys that were non-christians but the things that i was
00:05:35.140 passionate about the values that i had they didn't share those same values and i want to be with
00:05:39.440 someone that shares those same values as me and has the same worldview as me so now that's kind of
00:05:43.760 narrowed the ball is it just him being a christian no i mean he has to be a christian of course but
00:05:48.680 there's just certain things that like i've realized are my deal breakers like what are you one of the
00:05:53.740 waiting till marriage type i mean yeah i'm not i'm not perfect but that's definitely a desire
00:05:59.280 it's a desire to want to wait until marriage okay but you're i'm assuming 29 you're probably not a
00:06:04.360 virgin i'm not a virgin no one's waiting for i mean i mean yeah that's the type of world that we're
00:06:11.360 living in it's definitely a desire i'm not saying it won't happen but it's a desire and i would like
00:06:15.600 to stick to that because i guess in my head i'm like okay so if you're 29 you know that by now now
00:06:21.220 you know at least that if you're single by next year you're most likely not going to have a kid
00:06:24.960 and that by 34 your your chance of having a kid is basically nothing like biologically so i'm just
00:06:31.620 thinking if you get into a relationship with a guy that you like which i'm assuming it's very hard to
00:06:35.780 find a guy that meets all your criteria because i mean me too it's not you're not not just you
00:06:40.600 because i'm thinking like if you get to that point it's kind of like your last chance in a way and then
00:06:47.320 you then you leave it over what a message it's like i would think in the grand scheme of things it
00:06:52.520 would be more important to have a family to you especially you know they say like brief be
00:06:56.480 fruitful and multiply in the bible yeah but i think for me it's also very important to be in
00:07:01.140 a situation that is healthy and i would rather be single than be in a relationship where i'm not
00:07:05.960 valued or where i'm being disrespected or where the dude is emotionally or sexually cheating yeah
00:07:11.420 sometimes i just think the church like leaves women single and i think it's really sad because i think
00:07:15.980 sometimes they tell women like we have to have these crazy high standards yeah yeah i think that the
00:07:20.680 church needs to do a message you know that's not that crazy i think the church does need to do a
00:07:25.800 better job with teaching young christians like how to date like i go to an amazing church and it's
00:07:31.160 i'm learning now like through i go to the tab london and my pastor is is amazing and he just recently
00:07:38.040 done a sermon on dating and like how to date you know you know for marriage with the intention of
00:07:44.000 marriage and it was very healthy and very informative would would you submit to your husband for
00:07:48.580 everything
00:07:49.060 but the thing is like with me choosing a husband i'm going to choose somebody that i respect i'm
00:07:58.680 going to choose somebody that loves god and for me submission is about if he submitted submitting to
00:08:04.460 christ i'm low-key submitting to christ if i'm submitting to my husband so then why did you say no
00:08:09.440 but it's like to me submitting i think i need to learn about that more i'm definitely my own woman
00:08:15.600 but i think it depends in like in what degree like in what situation do you follow the bible
00:08:21.160 i try well no it just it confuses me when like they become one in the bible they say the same
00:08:28.660 you have to submit in the bible it's biblical so it can it confuses me it just confuses me like
00:08:34.400 when you say you want a christian man but you don't want to live in a christian way
00:08:37.740 so like why would a man that's super christian want to be with you if you don't want to live in
00:08:42.260 a christian way which is biblical but what do you mean by not living in a christian way so in the
00:08:47.180 bible says you have to submit to your husband and when i asked you you said no yeah but then
00:08:51.020 and but this is what i'm saying i think in certain situations i think and how can i word this in
00:08:56.700 certain situations of course if the decision that my husband is making makes sense and that's fine
00:09:02.140 yeah i don't really know how to just to explain the thoughts that i'm having right now
00:09:08.300 you want you want to submit when you feel like it yes but then the bible also the thing is the
00:09:17.560 bible does instruct women with like how to act in marriage but then the bible also instructs men
00:09:22.700 with how to treat their wives as well and so like the bible says to women like respect your husbands
00:09:27.760 and husbands love your wives and so i feel like yeah but how are we supposed to get a christian guy if
00:09:33.300 we can't start with what we have to do yeah thanks you know like yeah i'm just i'm just you know because
00:09:39.100 you want to start a family that's what you said so i'm just wondering how this would work out go ahead
00:09:43.160 is it an issue of knowing so you said about the whole decision thing um which logically makes sense
00:09:49.060 so like if he's saying something and you don't i'm just guessing right if he says something and you
00:09:53.880 don't know why is your point you want to know why and if it makes sense to you then you agree and
00:09:58.460 that's your version of submitting yeah i think and that's the thing my thing is i think that a
00:10:04.540 marriage there's going to be a lot of like complexities and like a lot of different
00:10:07.600 situations that we're going to face in marriage it's going to be a learning curve it's going to
00:10:11.900 be like a journey and i think that also with whatever the bible does say the bible also teaches
00:10:18.140 about like sanctification and about like a journey of becoming more like christ so i'm not saying that
00:10:24.220 i'm perfect but i'm saying hopefully me and my husband will get to a point where you know we're
00:10:29.340 on the same page and i think yeah you don't believe like going with the flow no now don't say no because
00:10:37.420 going with the flow could be the best thing the reason why i say going with the flow you could be
00:10:41.500 dating you could be on tinder whatever and someone could say what are you looking for right and i could
00:10:45.900 say for me as a 33 year old i want a child i want a child but i don't have a if god blesses me with a
00:10:51.660 child i get blessed with a child i'm not religious in any way shape or form but i believe in in an
00:10:57.660 almighty my thing right now when i meet a girl or a guy and they say like what you're looking for i
00:11:02.460 just say look like my portfolio would say like i want kids soon blah blah blah but i'll just say
00:11:07.420 look i'm just here going for the flow but i'm looking for a a serious individual and i would elaborate
00:11:14.220 on that situation but like when i say i'm going with the flow doesn't mean i want to marry you
00:11:18.700 or date you i just want to chill with you and see where things go so there is no expectations
00:11:23.740 on either side you know what i mean it's just about getting to know the person getting to know
00:11:27.580 the person but i feel like if you're with the whole christian thing um hats off to you um
00:11:34.940 i feel like for guys it can be a bit intimidating and we don't know where to start and we're like oh
00:11:40.060 you know what i mean but if you feel like glenn others are super chat says there's no exception to
00:11:44.620 submission in the bible where it says to only submit to your husband when you want to it says
00:11:48.940 for everything because you gotta choose a man that you trust to lead right and then you gotta listen to
00:11:54.380 you gotta you gotta submit to it's as simple as that i have because sometimes you can ask like
00:11:58.540 at the end of the day if you really are submitting to your husband you're trusting that they know what
00:12:03.900 they're doing they're handling things so any decision they make you shouldn't even be questioning it
00:12:08.060 anyway because you should trust them enough to know that they've already thought that through
00:12:11.580 so you don't have to so by asking questions you're kind of creating problems for him for having to
00:12:16.300 explain it all through to you and then also you're potentially causing another problem by them putting
00:12:20.380 up a barrier if you don't agree with something that he's done like to me i would rather leave him
00:12:25.420 with it he says we're doing something fine i trust him enough that he knows what he's doing
00:12:28.620 and he's doing that for our best interest look at team sports here let's say imagine alex
00:12:33.020 ferguson's your manager and then he's like cool this player's gonna win us the champions league and
00:12:37.340 we're like actually and you've got this one brother that's always always like nah i'm the manager
00:12:42.620 yeah i'm here to do a job trust i'm gonna lead and we'll go if you find a man that keeps leading you
00:12:47.580 into the into the darkness then that's not the man for you i guess isn't it but you gotta you gotta be
00:12:52.220 on that journey and actually accept that call i've chosen this person i just thought of a question
00:12:57.260 do you think it it is unbiblical if women don't have children
00:13:01.020 because the lord because the lord the god says to be fruitful and multiply right and right now women
00:13:08.620 are 100 in control of who's born so like sex and reproduction because we're the only ones that can
00:13:13.580 have a choice in abortion um and the the way the laws are set up like we're 100 in control so
00:13:19.740 is it unbiblical if women don't have kids a woman should be in full control it's her body and what she
00:13:26.860 wants to no i'm not i'm not asking i'm not asking like okay um i can gossip and i'm in full control
00:13:32.700 if i want to gossip or not but it's unbiblical of me to gossip i think anyways i think if a woman can
00:13:39.020 have kids she should have kids that's just my opinion yeah so i'm just yeah it says to be fruit
00:13:44.380 from multiplayer so yeah you're right and also for people who are believers christians it is still
00:13:49.180 their responsibility to go and preach the word and and do what you need to do see this is this is where
00:13:53.580 i can't because i was gonna i was gonna come to your point of because i'm also a christian right so
00:13:56.620 i believe in a lot of the same passages i mean i don't think i don't think unbiblical is a word
00:14:00.380 i'm sorry guys i don't know i don't know no i'm catholic it was a good word it would push word though
00:14:05.340 like not so for the first because i have two things for the first thing was to your point about submission
00:14:12.380 now as a as a fellow christian when we say submit to god does that mean like what does that mean
00:14:17.580 because then we have to think about the words that we're using because we use those words in christianity
00:14:22.220 already right when we say we need to submit to jesus we submit submit to god submit to the word of christ
00:14:26.380 right that same submission and the understanding of what it means to submit to christ in that same
00:14:32.300 vein obviously it's not the same because the person you're submitting to isn't jesus i'm not trying to
00:14:36.460 equate them but it's this very similar vein of like you wouldn't like like you like you said you wouldn't
00:14:41.340 question what's coming next if you were 100 submissive now understanding who to be submissive to
00:14:48.380 is very very difficult because there are a lot of snakes in the grass there's a lot of people who show one
00:14:52.860 thing show one hand and actually are another like like we were saying before but the actual act of
00:14:58.300 to say i would only submit in a certain in a certain situation which is not what you said
00:15:02.540 but it's like what it sounds like sounds like i don't think it's i don't think it's that difficult
00:15:07.180 to be honest what you mean like i i don't think it's like we kind of like as women like we act like
00:15:14.540 there's so many men that are cheating and doing all this stuff but most men can't do that yeah it's true
00:15:19.020 like i think there's a lot of average guys like as women we can date that wouldn't actually like i
00:15:24.380 don't think it's that crazy it's it's not but what i'm saying is in the sense of like i'm taking it
00:15:30.540 back to the the biblical sense of submission and the submission that god has told us to do to his
00:15:36.220 people and for for him and his son jesus right so we understand as christians what submission is
00:15:43.340 but when it comes to submission using submission to man it becomes like different to jesus and
00:15:50.380 yeah i think there's just been a a breakdown in trust but in the day in the day in the world right
00:15:55.420 now that's what i'm saying yeah you know what i mean so with like women don't really trust
00:16:02.220 glenn says no it's not unbiblical because there are women who are born that don't have the ability
00:16:07.820 to have kids okay um would you have an issue submitting to your boss for you someone asked me
00:16:16.300 um yes there has been times with past managers where i think that they're not always making
00:16:25.020 the right decision okay and so but i think that i do believe in just creating that space that respectful
00:16:31.900 safe environment where i can voice my opinions they can voice theirs and then we can just have that
00:16:37.340 conversation because i think that even if you're my boss it doesn't mean that like you can't take
00:16:42.860 on good advice or like do things in a different way so i think i think i can submit but i believe in
00:16:49.740 being vocal do you know how tiring that is as a boss though oh my gosh if i told my editor edit the
00:16:57.580 video this way and every single time i gave him something he's telling me the way he wants to do it
00:17:03.340 do you know how annoying that is no i mean it's not it's not a case where you get nothing done
00:17:09.900 it's not a case where every five seconds i've got a problem but there's just been a couple of
00:17:13.420 situations in the past i believe in being vocal i believe in being vocal i believe in creating that
00:17:18.460 safe space to have a conversation with the person once they've got all of the information then they can
00:17:23.980 make their decision um a way glenn says a way to look at submission is like this i will always respect
00:17:29.820 and submit to the president even if i don't like him i am submitting to the position that he holds
00:17:35.340 uh danny said this is for get pearl the summer ac funds yo yeah we do need summer we need ac in here
00:17:42.300 oh does that make sense to you though what he said yeah that's very powerful yeah um no and i don't
00:17:48.300 think you're like i think a lot of times in the church they don't really talk about submission it's odd
00:17:52.700 like not not in the true sense they do in the sense of like submitting to a higher being and
00:17:57.180 it's been to like the will of god and the will of the bible itself but like interpersonal submission
00:18:04.860 not too much they mention it it gets mentioned but it doesn't get like delved into in like great detail
00:18:10.460 outside of like god man submit to him and that one gets fleshed out more than man to man if that makes
00:18:19.420 sense i i think i think there's a lot of selective politicking with when it comes to religion so
00:18:25.820 100 and i think everyone's out here they're they're beating they're enjoying life they're
00:18:31.580 drinking they're doing the thing and then it's traditional in a sense when you need to do this
00:18:35.340 so listen amen i'll say when it suits you when it suits you i know people that selected outreach
00:18:42.460 now i'm just going to hit the point and say that they don't mention it because the majority of
00:18:46.380 churchgoers are now women and they're catering to women so if they're pre-submission you're not
00:18:51.980 going to get much of an audience really damn there you go the church has been very feminized wow
00:19:00.460 i mean why do you think they have like gay flags in the church now no yeah that is
00:19:07.660 but you know what i mean that's not biblical i don't think and i don't think men are really pushing that
00:19:12.220 that's no no no no no no but is that to do with remember it's got to do with fitting in like the
00:19:18.460 whole lgbtq plus i can't remember the whole name yeah um it's like a it's like a common thing now it's
00:19:25.340 like it's a big thing now so it's like it would like businesses will now push it and say we support
00:19:31.100 this because it brings like publicity and sales or whatever whatever you do or whatever i know me and
00:19:37.100 i know many people that are gay or whatever many of us don't give a damn um i didn't even know we
00:19:43.420 had flags in there you know what pride two of my man them friends said are and they asked me my
00:19:48.620 opinion on something i said right i didn't even you lot are telling me more about the community
00:19:52.140 than me i said i didn't even know i said okay big up lgbtq plus plus
00:19:57.580 uh blessing can you play one of the videos i was gonna get the reaction to it i'm gonna read the
00:20:08.460 first i think i missed one or two super chats so i'm gonna go and get them um all right guys make
00:20:14.780 sure you like the video that's the most important metric which video do you want first you can just
00:20:20.220 pick one they're all they're all um uh wait wait hold on guys um also guys if you have any questions
00:20:29.420 for the panel make sure you send it via super chat uh okay i read that one read that one uh
00:20:39.020 read that one okay read glenn 90
00:20:44.540 hey um shout out to dallas y'all a little translation for you i just get along better
00:20:52.540 with guys equals three away at four squared pretty sure it's the same access across the
00:20:57.900 pond as it is here barrett women um like to test men more men we like to keep it simple as is there's
00:21:05.020 no tests the truth comes out in the wash um uh xena w pearl reaction channels are fake news
00:21:14.700 that is true um okay barrett church churches are starting to become part of the world versus
00:21:23.980 being in the world and not of it they're failing god's message and their followers uh okay that's
00:21:29.500 it you want to play the video
00:21:37.660 a woman hit the lottery for 1.3 million dollars right she hit it from her husband and 11 days
00:21:44.220 later divorced her husband he found out two years later from a letter in the mail and it was the
00:21:48.460 lottery company saying do you want to get the lump sum or do you want to continue getting the monthly
00:21:52.620 earnings okay because they didn't like recognize that they were divorced because he stayed at that
00:21:56.220 same address right so he got the letter but they were divorced at this time two years later correct
00:22:00.460 but she won the lottery at the time they were married he sued her and for fraud oppression and malice
00:22:07.500 ended up winning 100 percent plus she had to pay the court fees on her end what a king
00:22:20.060 no 100 100 100 yeah what did you guys think of that she was wrong yeah right he won he won right
00:22:25.820 man one yeah don't try it don't try it she tried it wow she got away for a while though i'm guessing she
00:22:32.780 would have got some payments monthly until the letter came through and he realized or whatever
00:22:36.860 that's crazy because you know this made national news that a woman was you know taking all of a
00:22:41.980 guy's earnings but women do that all the time 24 hours yeah no because this this one's funny because
00:22:49.340 it's a different amount that's a big amount of money though she was taken and he won legally he won
00:22:54.780 everything as well because not only did he win money not only did she have to pay the legal fees he also
00:22:58.700 found out the kind of woman his wife was yeah that's probably because i'm guessing never had
00:23:03.900 any kids with her if he had kids with her he might have been a different situation because of liability
00:23:09.820 and blah blah blah and remember what he earns and it still shows the kind of woman i'm talking about
00:23:17.820 the 100 i'm saying the reason why he would have won 100 he couldn't have had you know any liability with
00:23:22.700 her with with actual kids or no that's because she was lying you know it's interesting they looked at
00:23:26.860 what happened when like each sex won the lottery and their probability of divorce
00:23:32.300 and how do you think it turned out
00:23:38.220 it was like the majority of the men's tape when the majority of the women left but see that that
00:23:42.540 goes to show who who is responsible with the power of leverage
00:23:49.980 so the power of leverage you being the breadwinner you having a life-saving amount is that something that
00:23:55.980 you're going to want to push into the tree that you already have or is that something that you're
00:24:00.460 going to go and want to do like more selfish things and go and you know do something independent
00:24:05.180 do you know i mean because bearing in mind in that marriage you like gone through things where you're
00:24:08.780 both broke you're going through things you know i mean not even like a yo i won the lottery but here
00:24:14.620 take that this is my money but boom here take that or and i know nothing like that just just up and
00:24:20.220 left i couldn't imagine if you know i'm married my wife divorces me then i see her in bahamas and here
00:24:26.540 there that i'll be thinking where'd she get i'll be thinking everywhere and then i found out she won the
00:24:31.420 lottery no you know you know what's crazy the the idea that men will leave you for a younger woman
00:24:39.500 before like no fault divorce was introduced isn't even correct even before no fault divorce like
00:24:45.180 women would still leave men more like they always have right i see that being true i didn't know that
00:24:51.660 wow yeah because a lot of you know because it's a propaganda campaign because basically um with
00:24:57.340 the women's suffrage movement they just put like all of this propaganda in the media to like take
00:25:01.740 men out of the home basically and tell women that like we need a career more than we need that
00:25:05.660 but then again you need to look at it like this so men are proposing sometimes it's not really
00:25:10.780 i don't know it's the guy that's made that big decision sometimes the girl might be like yeah your
00:25:14.380 boyfriend material but i didn't want to break up with you but now we're married and i didn't really think
00:25:19.740 i'd spend the rest of my life i've dated a lot do you know i mean but now we're married things have
00:25:23.100 just moved faster than i really cared for them to at the time i thought i'll just go with the flow
00:25:27.660 and i'm comfortable and they might not actually think boom like this is not even a i might have
00:25:32.380 grown out of love with this person but for the guy because he's making all these um intentional move
00:25:37.420 movements with you of course it's a no-brainer what i got more money to do things boom yeah let's stay
00:25:42.460 together i also think maybe like i don't i'm just guessing here but going with your your scenario
00:25:49.500 i feel like maybe women sometimes like they just want a wedding day like they don't want a marriage
00:25:55.500 they just want a wedding day someone proposes oh i can do this and take little scrap pictures with my
00:25:59.500 girls and all and like it's all gonna be about me like so you know it makes sense i had this conversation
00:26:06.540 with a friend the other day on gay weddings and i said um and i said i understand why a woman want
00:26:11.820 to get married because the whole bridesmaids and the whole i said why why a man would want to marry
00:26:16.220 another man that's just a waste of money and time and the guy said oh yeah blah blah blah men have
00:26:21.660 every right i weren't trying to say men don't have right to marry another man i was just trying to say
00:26:25.820 i understand why a woman wants to i don't understand why a man would waste his time marry another man
00:26:29.900 that's how you know with a man it's intentional like you said you know because there's so much more
00:26:34.060 especially in this day and age now and the climate that we're living in there's so much more at risk for
00:26:37.900 the guy like that that is a clear signal from the man that he is committing to you because you know
00:26:45.340 and then if you're a girl and you then just sort of just say yes like i can see it happening would
00:26:50.780 you guys get married without a wedding no no yeah what's the point you wouldn't no why just because
00:26:59.180 i think it's such as i'm not one of those girls who's like dreamed of this big white wedding my whole
00:27:03.100 life like i still don't really know too much where i want my wedding and stuff but i think
00:27:07.820 it's just a nice way to just bring everyone that you love and share that special memory with them
00:27:13.420 to be honest team's cool that's what christmas is for
00:27:18.940 roast turkey family you only see once a year that's what christmas is for
00:27:22.540 what if he says okay we don't have like money right now um let's just go to the courthouse and get
00:27:27.500 this thing done i want to be your husband isn't that more important than the wedding i mean that's what
00:27:31.740 my parents did to be fair so why can't you do it i mean yeah right i would it's not that i wouldn't
00:27:37.580 want to do it but i'd also want that big special day would you would you be comfortable with would
00:27:43.660 you be comfortable with getting that down the line say that again would you be comfortable with with
00:27:48.140 getting that big day down the line as more like a certificate of your your union and marriage yeah i
00:27:53.500 could do that small now and then big maybe five years ten years yeah i could do that why is it not
00:27:58.620 enough to just have been picked though like if a guy is literally telling you he wants to marry you
00:28:04.380 like why why do you need some kind of signification that you've achieved this great thing like why is
00:28:10.220 it not just enough in your heart that this guy wants to be my husband i agree with her why do you
00:28:17.260 need a legal documentation no i mean the wedding day no the actual wedding day oh okay don't get me
00:28:22.860 wrong of course it's it's nice like you say you get your family and friends together yeah who doesn't
00:28:27.260 want that especially when you know because the bride's family meets the groom family like that's
00:28:31.180 that's lovely but at the end of the day the marriage signifies a partnership and a commitment and
00:28:37.340 why why do you need that wedding day so he asked if you would take it if you had that big day down the
00:28:42.940 line would you do it if there was no big day he just wanted to be your husband but you didn't have
00:28:47.820 the money for a wedding so like that was it you just go to the courthouse or whatever and get the
00:28:52.300 doctor i mean of course if i was completely in love with the man and i wanted my i saw a future with
00:28:57.740 him and i wanted to live my life with him of course i'm not gonna say no do you know what i mean because
00:29:02.220 it is about the marriage at the end of the day but just for me i love memories and i think that would
00:29:07.820 be a celebration of what's to come so for me it's like it's like the beginning of the story what about
00:29:12.460 the memories that you'd make in the marriage yeah no of course but it would be like it would be like
00:29:17.260 a celebration of the beginning of the future but wouldn't you make memories in him asking you the
00:29:24.380 feeling that you get and knowing that he wants to make that commitment walking down to the courthouse
00:29:28.620 together having that private moment together then whatever you do after you don't need everyone else
00:29:35.500 to confirm that you've done something great you don't need to seek validation from everyone else
00:29:41.580 this is kind of making me want a courthouse wedding
00:29:44.700 i've got a question for you uh for the women yeah would you would you women agree or disagree that
00:29:49.980 the more a man has to kind of do in the relationship is like the less you kind of like him as a person
00:29:57.260 say that what do you mean so for instance if he has to do the most big wedding big this big that
00:30:02.140 he's lacking he's kind of lacking because without that you you you said you have to be in love with
00:30:07.340 him 100 and all these other factors whereas if you really just you you mess with him as an individual
00:30:13.660 he doesn't really have to do the extras because i notice if i'm not someone's cup of tea i might have
00:30:19.020 to jump through a hoop or two if i'm her cup of tea but we're chilling on biscuits it's all good
00:30:25.740 you know what i mean so there's a difference so would you lads agree or disagree with that basically
00:30:30.380 i think what he's saying is you said that you would do the courthouse yeah if you love them 100
00:30:35.100 let's say you love them 70 then i wouldn't get married does he have to do the white wedding
00:30:43.500 i think you're right the more you have to do for a girl the less she probably does like the effects
00:30:48.860 yeah because when you're when you're really into you're always like thinking about what he wants
00:30:53.260 would he you're happy just to be around him yeah yeah listen to mandem and listen to that because
00:30:59.180 if you're doing the most it means you don't like you're not into you like that for real and you set
00:31:03.260 a president as well to say you know what for you to be with me i have to come with all these things
00:31:07.660 men don't realize how valuable their attention is like because i think women would know we would not
00:31:13.100 survive without male attention if men treated their attention like it was valuable women would have a
00:31:17.900 very different behavior yeah guys throw attention at turnips i've been watching capybara tick tocks
00:31:23.820 for a long time right you know the animal the capybara i don't know what that is seriously imagine if
00:31:31.340 every guy said you know what i'm not going to accept a girl that has slept with double digit people
00:31:36.700 i'm not going to accept women um that are overweight i'm not going to accept women with children out of
00:31:42.860 wedlock women would make different decisions like imagine if like women would not leave their
00:31:49.020 husbands if they didn't think there was a simp waiting for them they would not women would not
00:31:54.220 they would stay but it's like because men will give like their attention which is so it is so valuable
00:32:00.940 like we cannot survive without male attention that's why women without dads like they're messed up
00:32:07.420 because they didn't get that male attention so they have to go somewhere else
00:32:11.180 male attention is valuable and if men were more selective with who they gave it to i think women
00:32:16.940 like would be better in a way yeah see yeah that's true but doesn't that link to the whole thing where
00:32:22.460 um there was a thing where it's like guys only go as far in terms of courting as women allow oh true so
00:32:30.300 like so like back in the day victorian times why did everyone back then used to call and used to wear
00:32:36.060 like the big corsets and have to date someone for like two months before you could even see
00:32:40.300 it's not no it's not it's not no it's not the men's responsibility yes the women's like no it's
00:32:45.820 the sexual market like the the purity of of women is the women's responsibility because we're in
00:32:50.380 control of sex exactly but i do think that the the quality i don't want to say quality but
00:32:56.940 like men it they'll they'll still wife women that have no business being wife that should be in the
00:33:02.540 streets forever or that have had like if you have two different baby daddies why is anybody marrying
00:33:07.020 leaving in the street why isn't it leaving what was the name of the uh the girl with um the
00:33:12.380 basketball player britney jenna bennie reno yeah britney reno friend of the show
00:33:18.780 she's one of those girls in in that type type of situation where it's like you know her past so
00:33:23.500 well that like there's no way you think for some women can just be really unlucky like they fell for
00:33:28.380 somebody she's not one of those women fell for somebody had somebody had a kid you choose what
00:33:35.340 you do with your own body in the same argument as you were saying earlier about if you should have
00:33:39.900 children or not and you said oh it's a woman's body i'm i imagine you were referring to abortion and
00:33:44.300 and you have the right i think you're in complete control so you have complete control to not open
00:33:49.500 your legs to every man yeah but people get divorced too but there's people that have like two free
00:33:54.140 marriages and that's not even like a small amount a lot of people get divorced i'm not even trying
00:33:57.820 to be what's the percentage but the women are the ones divorcing yeah yeah i mean there's definitely
00:34:04.220 a part to playing that apart no but what i was trying to say is if i have a relationship with a
00:34:09.100 with a female and i'm with her for five years and i have a child and i have a relationship with someone
00:34:14.540 else for a year and i have a child like i'm talking vice versa okay yeah i have a really good solution here
00:34:21.180 okay don't have sex with people you don't want to have kids with trust or you know use birth control
00:34:28.300 of some sort condoms yeah you know there's there's like a billion different forms you can pick one
00:34:33.660 um and maybe you know if you have a kid with someone stay yeah those are three valuable very
00:34:40.700 unhappy just because you have kids happiness why does everyone always go to their own happiness what
00:34:45.580 about the kids happiness children who come from single parent homes unfortunately statistically are worse
00:34:50.620 off that is a fact so you are going against the odds for the sake of your you're going you're forcing
00:34:57.020 your child's life against the odds for the sake of your momentary happiness happiness is a feeling
00:35:01.500 they last temporary like all feelings whereas that child's development is permanent because of the way
00:35:07.980 that the brain develops everything that happens in childhood is a building if you have a kid that's in
00:35:11.980 a single mother home she's more likely to go to jail she's more likely to drop out of school they're more
00:35:15.500 likely to be sexually abused by the stepdad they're more likely to have mental health issues every
00:35:21.660 she's right every statistical disadvantage you could put your kid out you're putting them at what
00:35:25.980 because you're not happy yeah you're in control of your happiness but that's that's when we get into
00:35:30.300 the maturing thing happiness it's not it's that happiness kind of has to take a back seat yeah yeah
00:35:36.460 because not everything is going to be happy all the time i hear it but at the same time it depends on
00:35:40.140 because it's joy abuses at the same time though i i think male or female if you're in an abusive
00:35:45.980 relationship whether it's verbal but you're talking about the exception of being unhappy no but that's
00:35:50.380 an unhappiness that is unhappy wait wait wait but this is propaganda though they probably like they
00:35:56.060 put this in the media like we're so afraid of these men that are just abusing women all the time
00:36:00.620 it's like five percent if that of men that commit the majority of the crimes
00:36:04.540 and what percent of them are incarcerated yet women pick man that's incarcerated minute women
00:36:11.100 pick these dangerous men and then why yeah and then why when it happens so it's like am i am i
00:36:17.260 going to feel bad for you that you picked it back that's who you picked you made a kid with him work
00:36:21.020 it out decisions have consequences and you need to realize that you make not because a lot of times a
00:36:27.180 lot of people need to realize that the decisions that you make don't only just affect you they affect
00:36:31.180 everyone around you and i see it like today when we had um we had four girls come on the show for
00:36:36.540 like the cat lady or um wife show and i think did all four come from single mother homes i think all
00:36:43.900 four either three out of four or four did and you can see it in the way they view relationships like
00:36:48.780 they all say partnership like they don't even understand that husband and wife is a role it's like
00:36:54.220 they don't know basic things and and then it's like you get these kids that have never seen a
00:36:58.620 functioning relationship then our generation can't have relationships there's so many problems
00:37:02.620 that come with that like homelessness drug addiction there's so many issues that come
00:37:07.900 as a result of single mother homes um and and and a lot of times it leads to the birth rate declining
00:37:14.940 yeah because now i think we're at like 1.4 kids per woman they're predicting that 50 percent of women
00:37:20.060 are going to be single and childless yeah like so now 50 more women that hit 30 are not going to have
00:37:25.820 kids and have them in the next couple of years yeah it's like it's like that thing where you know
00:37:30.540 when people say like someone who bullies is someone who's just being bullied in another situation by
00:37:36.060 someone else right it's kind of you can you can liken that to the situation because it's like if
00:37:40.540 if one person sees a bad relationship and they don't know how to do a bad relationship all they would
00:37:45.340 know is what they've seen and what they know to be true from the immediate surroundings now if the
00:37:52.380 immediate surroundings are negative and every example of a relationship is all negative the
00:37:58.060 only idea of a relationship that they have in their head is most likely going to refer back to
00:38:02.540 negative yes they will have the positive ones from movies and stuff but they only know negative also
00:38:06.860 it's also about like the way that behavior the way that humans behave is based off of what they
00:38:11.820 know we can only behave off of what we know like if you go back to when we were is it like hunter
00:38:16.380 gatherer times like that we our brain maps stuff out so if if you've only seen bad stuff like you
00:38:22.860 say you might see good stuff in the in the movies but you're not the one actually going through the
00:38:26.460 experience you're going to repeat that pattern of unhealthy relationships because it's all that
00:38:31.260 your brain has actually experienced like and it doesn't even have to be sometimes you can do the
00:38:36.380 complete opposite because you've been you were raised in that household and you saw and you're like
00:38:41.660 this is how i don't want my marriage you can but statistically they don't yeah it's hard like
00:38:49.340 like why do you think we don't even have to look at stats to know this why do we say that girls have
00:38:53.260 daddy issues there are ramifications for not having functioning happy relationships and i also think
00:38:59.900 it turns men into simps where they don't know how to deal with women um because like they've never seen
00:39:05.260 a masculine man lead in a relationship but then you have all the women complaining that there's no masculine
00:39:09.340 man it's like trying to explain the color red to someone who's colorblind if you've never seen the
00:39:12.620 color red how do you explain it like have you seen have you guys heard of the the inmates and
00:39:17.340 the uh the the prisoners and the um the guards psychological like experiment that happened that
00:39:23.980 they did oh the um stanford prison the stanford one so i met i met the guy who's at zimmerman
00:39:30.220 right so this experiment essentially like they they had a room full of people they spit them in half
00:39:35.740 students half of them were um um inmates and the other half were guards and they realized after a
00:39:41.340 certain amount of time the guards started acting like actual guards and the prisoners are acting like
00:39:45.740 actual prisoners and they started having like an actual power disparity and you had to shut it down
00:39:50.540 early because the the the guards were like really taking in as like this is their life and these people
00:39:56.620 are actually i'm actually villainous people the reason i bring this up is to show like this is a real
00:40:02.620 life psychological example of what it looks like to be surrounded by images of things that you don't
00:40:08.380 really understand is an example of like being surrounded by a negative image of what you think
00:40:14.460 should happen only going off your idea of what is what it should happen and seeing how the human mind
00:40:21.980 goes with that because they were quick to take on the roles of prisoner and jailer and three days it was
00:40:28.380 like three to five days or something and they flipped they were they were gonna kill these people
00:40:32.700 like people were like locked up for in solitary confinement so it goes to show the reason i bring
00:40:37.180 it up is to show that like the psychological the psychology of human being is so like fragile yeah i was
00:40:44.860 gonna say frigid or like fragile that like things around you that you see every day that you don't even
00:40:50.060 realize that you see or hear or you experience shape you right so to continuously show kids right because
00:40:57.020 i'm like i've seen it myself there's there's so much single parents stuff shown and there was a
00:41:02.620 period of time where single parent stuff was shown a lot right and it just becomes something that's
00:41:07.420 like very natural and very okay and all right which which which shows that even even in fairy tales
00:41:13.340 like cinderella they never they never they never like they always remarry someone and the the step
00:41:19.820 mom's always like disgusting but you never really talk about the mom because you was always past or
00:41:24.060 something yeah and it's always like one of those ones where single parents like lifestyle had been
00:41:28.460 pushed not like directly but like indirectly in different ways of like if you if you notice it
00:41:34.220 then you notice it type of type of thing i just think that modern women are selfish when it comes to
00:41:38.460 their kids they care about themselves more than their kids and i think it's really sad and i think
00:41:43.180 it actually ruins society because when you put yourself before your kids you mean you put
00:41:47.740 your generation before the next generation but are there are there enough okay let me um backtrack
00:41:54.300 a bit so to the point of like um people that are not having kids right um do you reckon there's enough
00:42:01.580 women that have passed that point of being able to get pregnant that are actually speaking to
00:42:08.140 younger women and saying all right let's know because that involves swallowing their pride and they
00:42:11.660 don't want to do that but guys there's enough guys saying hey get your get your act together but guys
00:42:15.500 you know you need money you need to you need to do this you need networks you need to be able to
00:42:19.100 um defend yourself you need there's enough i feel like there's there's enough guys doing that i just
00:42:24.060 want to know from the women are there women that are doing that no no there's a fundamental difference
00:42:27.980 between guys and girls guys will give guys genuine advice girls won't have you heard the whole
00:42:32.140 phrase because girls compete with each other because if you're 25 and the girl that's 38 you're competing
00:42:37.580 with her for the same guy you've heard the phrase a girl um a guy will insult a guy and not mean it
00:42:42.780 a girl will compliment and go and not mean it right
00:42:45.500 so it's one of those ones where those older girls you would think would give those advice
00:42:49.740 might say to you oh you're so pretty you should do this but like they don't mean it
00:42:53.420 it's like when you see girls like uh commenting on obese girls pictures like beautiful love it
00:42:59.980 like what are you doing it's not beautiful why are you encouraging her
00:43:06.380 yeah because look i say i say like this yeah with um with men i don't care like you look at even kevin
00:43:13.100 yeah i didn't care about the delivery because he's not talking to me directly people call up and
00:43:17.980 you know they go oh yeah but if you're not talking to that person directly you can see the delivery
00:43:23.420 and look at that as entertainment but you can still take the message i think with women it needs
00:43:27.660 to be dissected in a way that makes them directly to them specifically
00:43:31.340 they gotta feel they gotta feel great about it to take to receive it whereas with guys i might like
00:43:37.740 generally speaking i'll just play like cool yeah what he's saying is makes it makes sense and you
00:43:41.500 move on yeah and i'm and i and i apply it or i don't apply it do you know i mean but i believe
00:43:45.260 there's enough men out there giving that direction and i think you know just from the conversations that
00:43:49.580 we've had here just through on the panel you know is it working for you to if you want if you know
00:43:55.580 what you you want kids and you want this kind of you want a certain kind of lifestyle you want things
00:44:00.060 is the way you're moving working for you and if there if it isn't do you have people in your life
00:44:05.420 that are saying that you can talk to that haven't had kids and they can say boom all right look you
00:44:10.540 know time's ticking it will get to this point and this is how i feel now that i waited and i'm here
00:44:16.060 yeah but you know what you know what it is with that the the biggest enemy to women most times is
00:44:20.700 other women so like because we can't even admit there's a problem yeah other women are the downfall
00:44:27.660 of women for a lot of the time because they will be the ones who will feed you the stuff that you
00:44:32.700 want to hear in one side knowing good and damn well that's not the advice you need to hear and then
00:44:38.060 watch you walk out that door and make that mistake i'm gonna read you guys i'm gonna read you guys
00:44:43.340 some stats um some of these are from the us some of these are from the uk so you know take them with
00:44:49.340 a grain of salt but one in four women have an std one in three women have had an abortion 38 of kids
00:44:56.540 are born into single parent homes the average age of first child is 26 and the average age of first
00:45:02.140 marriage is 30. 45 of marriages end in divorce the average number of sexual partners for a woman is
00:45:08.780 between four and eight and after um women have slept with more than five people she has a 20
00:45:14.540 chance of having a happy marriage after 10 years if men get divorced um they can be financially ruined
00:45:21.420 and their kids can be taken from them 70 of women are overweight 90 of women have used contraceptives
00:45:27.500 at some point in their reproductive years and most have used more than one method throughout their lifetime
00:45:33.020 so it's like how do we look at these numbers and say we're doing well as a whole you know and i'm not
00:45:40.380 saying you know that like because they'll always say what about them i'm not saying men don't have
00:45:45.340 issues too but it's like we can't even talk about our problems without people always having to point
00:45:49.340 out the men like we can never even just have a conversation about the issues that we have as women
00:45:53.980 without simps or women coming in saying but men have problems too like we can't even have one
00:45:59.260 conversation about it whereas back in the day women used to actually sit down together and discuss
00:46:04.620 things and or they'd say you're not dressed well you're not like yeah we used to actually like
00:46:10.620 catch each other up on stuff like you know you oh you're showing too much like you're presenting
00:46:15.020 yourself this way or you know even something silly like you didn't brush your hair like i feel like
00:46:19.500 nowadays like girls sort of tiptoe around each other and they don't even want to like tell their friend
00:46:24.460 like oh it depends what type of girl you are though if i'm completely honest i think if you're
00:46:28.060 insecure and you're unhappy with what you're doing yourself then you're going to be a bit too to
00:46:31.820 other people if you're happy and content you've got to support and do you know what i mean so i
00:46:36.220 think it's the individual i don't think i don't think supporting i think real supporting is being
00:46:41.500 honest yeah but that's what i mean like she said you might not tell your friend if they haven't
00:46:46.380 brushed you up i would tell my friend yeah no i would as well but some girls wouldn't but that's
00:46:50.540 because they're like oh well yeah they kind of want to see you know what i mean
00:46:55.580 because they're unhappy with themselves which goes back to what i said a lot of times a woman's worth
00:47:00.300 enemy is another woman yeah because a guy would point out the fact that uh your shirt's kind of inside
00:47:05.420 out yeah i believe like chastising someone in public is different like i don't think you should do that in
00:47:12.860 front of other people yeah of course not usually if that's your real friend they should be able to take
00:47:16.220 them to the side and say hey you know what yeah and and we can respect that and we won't look at
00:47:22.060 that as like you being bitchy it's like you know when you eat something you got something your teeth
00:47:25.660 up um please tell me tell me like even if you go yeah just told me you know what i mean so i think you