JustPearlyThings - May 05, 2023


Modern Women Get Schooled On Accountability


Episode Stats

Length

7 minutes

Words per Minute

213.73122

Word Count

1,707

Sentence Count

189


Summary

In this episode, we talk about how to heal from a broken heart and how to be a better version of yourself. We talk about our brokenness and how it has shaped us into the person we are today.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 I have a question. Why do you want to be married? Because if you're a selfish person, it seems like marriage just wouldn't be for you.
00:00:07.920 Sometimes it feels like you just have to.
00:00:11.140 And I apologize. Sorry. I apologize for freezing in the beginning. It's my first podcast. I got a little bit nervous looking at Pearl.
00:00:17.440 And I was stuttering. I had a speech I prepared. I apologize. That's not what you're going to get.
00:00:21.840 You're okay.
00:00:22.580 Yeah, you're not going to get that from me.
00:00:23.820 Yeah, so why do you want to be married?
00:00:26.200 It sounds like crazy, but just the whole thought of the glamour side of it.
00:00:30.160 Again, I'm being selfish. The whole look of the wedding, being in that white dress.
00:00:35.220 But then I'm just thinking about myself again. And it's poison. And I admit that.
00:00:39.600 No, that's what they say. Women want the wedding. They don't want the marriage.
00:00:43.780 Yeah, because being trapped down, that terrifies me.
00:00:47.220 But why do you look at it as trapped?
00:00:49.240 Because maybe it's because I'm damaged. Or I've always been a free spirit ever since I was a child.
00:00:54.560 I always do what I want.
00:00:56.540 So if you're aware of that, why don't you try to heal that?
00:00:59.820 Yeah, but maybe I will get into that process.
00:01:01.980 But still now, I am that free spirit.
00:01:04.140 And so if something happens to me, and I'll be like, okay, maybe I do need to change that.
00:01:08.680 All right. And I empathize with you because I've been broken.
00:01:11.740 And I've been heartbroken. I've been there before.
00:01:13.620 So what I said, I genuinely mean this. I'm not judging you.
00:01:15.880 But what I'm saying is if you're aware enough to realize that, okay, I'm broken.
00:01:19.960 I've gone through things in my childhood, and it's made me the person I am now.
00:01:24.060 Okay. But once you're aware of that, you have the obligation and responsibility to be better than that.
00:01:30.440 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course.
00:01:31.480 Because I've let a heartbreak, my first ever heartbreak, I've let that destroy me,
00:01:35.440 turn me into an evil person that hated women.
00:01:37.760 I've done that.
00:01:38.780 And I learned from that.
00:01:40.220 And you know what I told myself?
00:01:41.300 Never again.
00:01:42.280 Mm-hmm.
00:01:42.800 Mm-hmm.
00:01:43.420 I'm going to be better.
00:01:44.480 And that's what's happened to me.
00:01:44.960 I've been broken in multiple relationships.
00:01:47.120 So be better. Be better now. Not later. Now.
00:01:51.700 Javon, you're shouting too much. Listen, bro. How could she be better, bro?
00:01:55.500 How?
00:01:56.020 Tell the teacher.
00:01:57.160 All right. I'm not a teacher, but I will give you some advice from my personal experiences of healing.
00:02:02.520 You know, like I said, it starts with awareness, for one.
00:02:06.700 Which I think I know.
00:02:08.320 You know, because you—
00:02:09.100 I am broken. I know that.
00:02:10.860 100%. And that's fine. There's a lot of broken people. I've been broken before. I'm not judging.
00:02:14.920 What I'm saying is that when you realize that you are broken, you have a responsibility to yourself, your well-being, mentally, spiritually, physically, to fix that.
00:02:25.620 And you have to hold yourself accountable because you can't point the finger at the guys that broke you.
00:02:29.780 Yeah. It's me that's responsible at the end of the day.
00:02:32.540 They're pieces of shit for doing what they did. 100%. I'm not saying, like, don't hold them accountable.
00:02:36.800 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:02:37.000 But you have to hold yourself accountable over them.
00:02:39.420 Because every girl that broke my heart, guess what?
00:02:42.980 But I don't give a—I don't give a crap about that.
00:02:45.520 Because you want to know what? I entertain that.
00:02:47.540 But you gain from that experience and think, okay, I can be positive about this and actually realize it's a good thing in a way you turn it around.
00:02:57.180 Oh, 100%.
00:02:57.880 Like I said in my field message in the beginning, because I didn't think I'd be nervous, but I was looking at pro, I was nervous.
00:03:05.300 All knowledge is given through pain and understanding.
00:03:07.400 Listen, you have to understand what that pain was there to teach you.
00:03:11.140 When you put your hand on a—when you're a kid and you don't know no better, and you're just playing around, and you put your hand on a stove, and your mom tells you—
00:03:18.360 And you get done.
00:03:19.060 Now you know.
00:03:20.440 Now you know what to do.
00:03:21.520 The lessons learned.
00:03:22.540 Mm-hmm.
00:03:23.200 But you can't learn the lesson and continue to make the same mistakes.
00:03:26.240 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:03:26.800 The same decisions.
00:03:27.560 And you know the results.
00:03:28.160 And then get on Instagram, social media, talk to all your friends, and play victim and say, I don't know no better.
00:03:33.560 You know better.
00:03:34.840 You've been hurt before.
00:03:36.180 Mm-hmm.
00:03:36.720 So why do you continue to put yourself in the same situations, talk to the same people, put yourself in the same environments?
00:03:42.400 Mm-hmm.
00:03:42.660 That's going to lead you to the pain that you're saying that I don't like.
00:03:47.000 So when I talk about healing, and I'm generally trying to help you because I understand the reality of women, and I understand the reality of men.
00:03:54.320 There's a lot of broken people out there.
00:03:55.840 Mm-hmm.
00:03:56.200 And if there's anything that I want to get forward to this podcast and a message, is that you can heal yourself.
00:04:03.520 I'm talking about literally.
00:04:04.600 100%.
00:04:05.120 You can heal yourself.
00:04:06.520 Everybody talks about trauma.
00:04:08.080 Everybody talks about depression.
00:04:09.660 Every single person.
00:04:10.360 Everybody.
00:04:11.140 PTSD.
00:04:11.880 Everything.
00:04:12.400 Struggling.
00:04:13.000 Every single person.
00:04:13.260 I'm telling you right now, if you dedicate a year, fuck social media.
00:04:18.720 Fuck your friends.
00:04:20.600 Respectfully.
00:04:21.140 How do you heal 100 bodies?
00:04:23.060 Hold on.
00:04:23.880 I'm going to get to it.
00:04:24.540 I need you to reel it in a little bit.
00:04:26.700 Yeah, I'm going to reel it in.
00:04:27.860 I'm going to reel it in.
00:04:28.420 You're going for a while, so.
00:04:29.880 I'm going to reel it in.
00:04:30.800 Uh-huh.
00:04:31.020 So, the real thing we're going to do would be just to be honest.
00:04:37.620 Which I've done on this podcast.
00:04:39.460 I've opened up and said.
00:04:40.360 So, if you're a woman that's been with 100 men.
00:04:42.280 Yeah.
00:04:42.620 If you're a woman that's been with 100 men, the next thing to say to the man that you're
00:04:45.480 interested in is, look, I've made these mistakes.
00:04:49.120 Look, accountability, I think, is the number one trait that men look forward to in women.
00:04:53.440 Because, yeah, we can judge you off your past.
00:04:56.220 That's a natural trait for men.
00:04:57.880 But if you don't have any accountability, we're not going to feel sorry for you.
00:05:00.960 We're not going to be interested.
00:05:02.220 But I'm telling you right now, if I met a woman that was like, yo, I have like 7,500 bodies.
00:05:06.080 But you know what?
00:05:06.980 Those men didn't deserve me.
00:05:09.180 And that was at a point where I didn't realize my value was a woman.
00:05:11.900 I didn't realize I was giving away the most pure gift that I have as a woman.
00:05:16.780 And now I realize that gift.
00:05:18.480 And that's how I'm going to move forward.
00:05:20.200 I respect that.
00:05:21.920 No, I respect that.
00:05:23.040 Bruv, bruv, listen, bruv, Giovanni.
00:05:24.980 Would you go for a girl that has over 100 bodies as your wife?
00:05:28.300 Would you do that?
00:05:31.880 100 bodies?
00:05:33.140 Yeah, over 100 bodies.
00:05:34.460 Would you do that?
00:05:34.880 That's what you're talking about, no?
00:05:38.180 Probably not.
00:05:38.840 But then again, it also depends on the woman.
00:05:41.560 So wait, wait, wait.
00:05:42.100 You were just saying that.
00:05:43.040 What would you expect your woman to say to you?
00:05:45.960 Do you want to say sorry or what?
00:05:47.560 No, not sorry.
00:05:48.500 Because her decisions is her life.
00:05:50.200 And she shouldn't apologize for any decision that she makes.
00:05:52.360 It's just like I'm not going to apologize for any decision that I make.
00:05:55.220 But I think that there's a point in your life where you have to be accountable and you have to be honest.
00:05:59.780 And if you've slept with 100 men, you can never take that back.
00:06:03.540 Okay, bruv.
00:06:04.020 I don't see it as a problem, though.
00:06:05.660 Would you accept that?
00:06:06.460 Giovanni, Giovanni, would you accept that?
00:06:08.580 Your wife has slept with over 100 men.
00:06:12.500 Would you accept that?
00:06:13.360 In general, no.
00:06:15.140 You mean general.
00:06:15.800 What else is there to it, bro?
00:06:16.740 Let's move on.
00:06:17.160 In general, no.
00:06:19.400 Because, like I said, there is such a thing as connection and there is such a thing as power.
00:06:25.220 Why don't you see it as an issue?
00:06:27.560 What, so you've known it with 100 men?
00:06:29.060 Yeah, like, you know, because I'm just saying you live in reality.
00:06:32.520 You know men care about that stuff.
00:06:34.960 Right?
00:06:35.580 Yeah.
00:06:35.920 So, you don't think that could possibly be an issue later?
00:06:40.440 Yeah, it might be, but I never look at anything negative in life.
00:06:44.020 Like, I just feel like, what's the point?
00:06:46.920 Because you're just going to get down about it anyway.
00:06:48.900 Because you can't do anything about it at this point.
00:06:50.580 No, what's the point?
00:06:51.300 I can't take back what I've done.
00:06:54.240 So, what's the point dwelling about it?
00:06:56.360 When I was a girl, when I was like, what, 16, 17, when you lose your virginity, I mean, I wasn't educated on about self-value and what it meant to give, like, your body to someone.
00:07:06.500 So, as a young lady, if you're sleeping with people from, I mean, I lost mine at 17, I didn't have the knowledge that I have now than I did then.
00:07:14.860 So, if you're a young lady having sex, when you're older, you might look back and think, oh, maybe I shouldn't have made them choices because now I'm more aware of the consequences.
00:07:23.240 So, I think it's a bit difficult to say, oh, I wouldn't do that.
00:07:27.040 I wouldn't marry someone who's set with that many people because they could be a completely different person.
00:07:31.140 10 years ago.
00:07:31.840 Exactly.
00:07:32.480 I'm glad you brought up the point because, Birkin, you're 100% correct.
00:07:35.820 I personally would not.
00:07:37.880 But when I said I think it varies.
00:07:39.480 I think that's sad.
00:07:40.340 It varies.
00:07:41.020 I'm talking about just for the general man.
00:07:43.040 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok.
00:07:46.640 And we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
00:07:50.560 If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.
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