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JustPearlyThings
- November 23, 2023
Modern Women HATE to be Accountable.
Episode Stats
Length
24 minutes
Words per Minute
214.91559
Word Count
5,313
Sentence Count
3
Summary
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Transcript
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Whisper
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).
00:00:00.000
we're gonna stop stop you just did it again okay we're gonna move on um do you guys back
00:00:04.800
row do you guys think it's selfish to um get ivf treatment um and become choose to be a single
00:00:11.040
mother go ahead in the corner yeah yeah go ahead yeah yeah okay you think it's selfish what about
00:00:18.320
you i can understand why people would do it but yeah just denying without a father in the picture
00:00:26.880
it's not fair yeah it's selfish because ultimately every woman will try to locate
00:00:33.120
a man that can fill that father figure or teach certain things that the partner or the husband
00:00:40.240
or whatever would have taught if they were within a union so it is selfish i don't think it's selfish
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if you have a good support system it works well for you okay okay that's a word yeah what about
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the sperm donor though but there's still a father involved to have that for that child to be
00:00:59.600
created there's still a father involved there's a sperm which comes from a father yeah but i know
00:01:06.720
but most most women right now are single but they have a good support system that makes the child
00:01:10.960
uh even better it works out for the child better but if you have no support no it doesn't no i said
00:01:15.680
i said most i didn't say everyone i think that's one word because there's a lot of a lot of women you
00:01:20.080
can have a child if you want a baby i don't think that's inherently selfish when you put your kid at
00:01:24.960
every statistical disadvantage no no offense to the single mothers on the panel but you put your kid
00:01:29.840
you put your kid at every statistical disadvantage if you talk to people that came from single
00:01:33.280
mother homes they all want a father you you're more likely to go to prison you're more likely to
00:01:37.440
end up homeless you're more likely to go to jail like like every you're more likely to drop out of
00:01:41.600
school run away from home i already said i think inherently having children's a bit selfish but that's
00:01:47.040
besides that's the precise okay so why would you push you can have a kid i'm saying i'm saying
00:01:53.360
originally if you genuinely want a child and you think you have the facilities the money the support
00:01:58.960
system everything required other than the male figure required to have a child and you really really
00:02:04.160
want a child it's selfish but you can do do you do you not think a father figure is required i think
00:02:09.600
you can live you can be a good person without a father figure so why do you inherently need one because
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me personally i'm big on family my family supports each other around so i'm saying support system
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i'm talking about aunties uncles they all get involved it's not just the fact it's not just
00:02:23.680
it's not just the father only that still doesn't replace a father it doesn't it doesn't replace
00:02:27.280
a father figure by your help support system is support it's not like the actual help you you need
00:02:32.320
like the father's not there but you're being supported by people around okay so it makes it easier
00:02:35.680
for you yeah okay so but that still doesn't replace having a father in there it does it does yeah so
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it is it's going to be selfish if women choose to not not to be able to have a father and then go
00:02:45.680
still going to have a child that's inherently selfish and what pearl said all the statistically
00:02:49.520
disadvantaged so if we look at especially if we look at what's happening now in london a lot of the
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knife crime a lot of the stabbers and what's going on look at who's doing it and when you when
00:02:56.880
you look at all the kids that come from single parent homes single mother households i came from
00:03:00.960
a single parent home but i had a good support system so how about that yeah but what i'm trying to
00:03:04.240
say to you is yeah when you so so exceptions don't cancel out the rule so i'm glad that you've done well but if
00:03:09.600
you look at statistics of what's going on yeah not everyone's like you know everyone's like me but
00:03:13.120
i'm saying culture i'm speaking about culture i'm from south africa most my my south african culture
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background everyone we know each other to be supportive of each other together it's not just a
00:03:21.680
a child is not just the one person it's a whole community raising the child it's not only you it's
00:03:26.480
would you have preferred to have a father figure i'm okay with myself right now i'm content no no but
00:03:30.960
you didn't answer would you have preferred it i can't have a preference because i don't know why it is
00:03:34.640
to have a father okay okay yes or no would you have preferred it no because i like my life right
00:03:39.760
now okay okay go ahead go ahead i just want to quickly say yeah a lot of people understand
00:03:46.320
the idea of raising a child you know you need to have like a tribe you need to have loads of people
00:03:50.960
around you that has no correlation with having not having a father figure i feel like there's a
00:03:56.640
difference between support and having a tribe to raise your child because it takes more than one
00:04:00.400
person you need the aunties you need the friends you need the cousins the siblings whatever it may be
00:04:04.880
but a father figure a father period is something that is irreplaceable when it comes to a child
00:04:10.560
especially when they're young
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but what if the father figure is not the best for the child
00:04:14.400
no i understand that okay so wait wait i'm gonna i'm gonna say that say say that in the mic i said
00:04:20.240
what if the father figure is not it's not good for the child that's on the woman you pick
00:04:25.360
that's why it's on the woman it's good for him to have a good support system like right so you can
00:04:29.760
choose it's a choice no i'm saying that's yeah yeah she made the wrong choice why is it wrong so
00:04:34.320
it's wrong that my mom made a choice and i'm here okay okay okay okay don't get your feelings man
00:04:39.040
no i'm not i'm not okay okay okay okay is it wrong to make a child with someone that is clearly going
00:04:47.840
to be a deadbeat dad yes that's selfish yes why so if i if i was talking to some dude that just got out
00:04:55.280
of prison okay you're saying the scenario which is like tight and close no no okay okay okay i just
00:05:01.360
don't believe most women there's some sort of red flag that they either i i don't most girls aren't
00:05:07.520
blindsided and they usually choose to ignore it so that's why i said it's on you it's what it's
00:05:14.000
some i'm sorry there's some it's not on me like you saying it's selfish it's just one-sided some people
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feel different as well bro i'm happy that you're here in it we're all happy that you're here and
00:05:23.040
it will happen yeah i know no because i'm happy that you're here god bless the universe and that
00:05:31.040
if your dad was a waste man then that's not your fault but that's your mom's fault end of the day
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is we always put onus on the men but these women pick these guys and most of the time okay cool there's
00:05:40.320
a small percentage why is it the mom's fault by the way no i i hold on a second hold on a second
00:05:45.680
because because because we're 100 in control of birth yeah 100 like when you have 100 when you
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stop interrupting me when you're 100 in control of who is born you have more responsibility
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more we have more power that comes with more responsibility you are responsible for who gives
00:06:03.280
birth so you you have free abortion up to six months i'm responsible as well of of of having like
00:06:09.440
a sex with a woman so they can give back as well as soon as you as soon as you have sex without
00:06:16.000
contraceptive you're also just as involved in the pregnancy no that's not true because the only thing
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he has control of is a condom and that could break where you girls can steal it the nba had to issue
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statements saying these women are stealing we're we wait wait we're you can get an iud that's 99.5
00:06:37.360
effective you can get birth control if that doesn't work you can get the plan b pill if that doesn't
00:06:42.000
work you can take the abortion pill if that doesn't work you can get an abortion up to three months
00:06:45.360
there is no excuse i'm this i'm not disagreeing with you they are outliers but you're talking about
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outliers in general i'm agreeing with you as well but there's other situations if you wear if you wear a
00:06:55.360
condom properly uh-huh 99.9 percent of the fact you're not gonna get the girl pregnant so there's okay no the
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thing is we're talking about mandem here in london we're talking about one that's okay oh you know
00:07:07.040
what the rubber don't feel the doesn't feel good yeah but then let's let's take the condom example
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okay you can say you cannot have sex with me unless you have a condom on yeah exactly that women are in
00:07:21.120
control of sex we are in control and who has more power the one who has 41 for wait who has 41 forms of
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birth control or the one who has one who has more power let's also think about with societal pressures
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when it comes to women no don't roll your eyes because it's a fact now but babe but these condom
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things are true because no no these people there's a lot of people that carry disgusting things so
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they come near disgusting i always say yeah no no it's like it's my russian action the accent of
00:07:52.640
disgusting but it's just true like to be honest it's not only about pregnancy here yeah
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if you don't wear a condom this you can be called lydia chlamydia you can get gonorrhea you can get
00:08:03.040
anything you know so that's kind of on you and if you then like some people they play russian roulette
00:08:08.320
with this pill yeah um they literally skip four days and they're like four pills in and then they get
00:08:13.440
pregnant and it's then you know like if i don't choose to keep the child you know like that's a thing
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and also like i feel like a lot of people get their emotions caught up in this thing like let's say yeah
00:08:24.720
you're with your boyfriend you know he's been cheating and then you get pregnant and then your
00:08:29.840
emotions get involved you're like oh but he's so cute on his good day and then on this maybe it could
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work it's never gonna work because he's been cheating so or you know if it's just not the ideal
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situation then you as a woman how much is you cannot like it you still choose to have the baby
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even though the situation is not perfect same with the condom thing right if a guy comes at your house
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you know you're doing your thing and then it's it's time to put the rubber on and you're you're like
00:08:58.720
oh i'm in the moment and something happens that's your body that's you not being sacred with your body
00:09:05.280
as much as you dislike it it's true because you have to deal with the consequence it's just i agree you
00:09:12.640
do actually have to deal with the consequence which is very unfortunate but i think it's i think of
00:09:18.560
course there is blame when it comes to women you have made a choice to have sex without a condom 100
00:09:23.920
you have allowed religion or whatever societal cultural influences affect how you feel in terms
00:09:29.840
of abortion or contraception or whatever but i still feel like if you're having sex with a man
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and he says i don't want to have a condom and you're like you know okay fine i don't want to have
00:09:40.800
a condom either but he also chose not to use a condom yeah can i can i can i can i can i can i
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ask you a question i'm gonna ask you a question okay so say all right say you have sex and you get
00:09:52.560
pregnant okay who who controls who gives birth who whose choice is that what what after you're pregnant
00:10:00.320
whose choice is it i have a question for you do you know i need you to answer that question no that's
00:10:06.160
fine i need you to okay yeah women give birth cool no no no who's in control of whether you keep it
00:10:12.240
or give birth yeah that's fine okay i agree with that of course you have the baby okay so of course
00:10:18.000
you're gonna be the one that gives birth so you agree that women have more who have control over who
00:10:23.040
is born a hundred percent control oh of course okay okay what's your what's your what's your question and
00:10:31.600
then i can sorry someone said something about being selfish wait wait wait bro like if a woman has
00:10:37.280
hundred percent control over who get who gets born right yeah you have no control of that so yeah i
00:10:42.320
understand so if you so if a woman gets pregnant yes and and you want that baby i have no say in that
00:10:47.440
okay cool and then if you don't want that baby you still have no say in it yeah yeah how is that not
00:10:53.440
hundred percent control and selfish no i'm saying if the girl wants to have the baby right how is that
00:10:58.560
selfish if she has a baby and she feels like it's right no because i don't have any control in this
00:11:03.600
scenario for me for me personally if i'm to have sex with someone and i'll take all the responsibilities
00:11:09.280
i'm having sex with you if i if i have a baby with you then i'm gonna take all that no but we're saying
00:11:14.880
you can have to you what if you don't want do you though and she decides to have to you but my
00:11:18.320
nigga you have sex without a condom so what do you think was gonna happen i want to say one thing and then i'll let
00:11:22.160
you like that okay okay okay okay but but the point is we we have more power yeah we have we so so
00:11:29.120
if we are going to get more power it comes with responsibility having more of the responsibility
00:11:33.920
because the men the men have one choice condom or no condom we can't we can we know when we're
00:11:38.640
ovulating you know you know when you're you should you get wait wait and you you have the choice you get
00:11:46.800
who gets to choose who all right all right wait who gets to choose whether or not they're on birth
00:11:50.880
control men or women women who gets to choose whether or not we take the plan b men or women
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who gets to choose when if if you have sex on or off your when you're ovulating men or women who has
00:12:00.880
the choice to track their cycle men or women women who has the choice to get an abortion women women
00:12:06.240
okay so that's that's the point in terms of who has who has the choice to have sex it's two people
00:12:13.200
right so as soon as you're um consenting to having sex bro you're in it what's the consequence of sex
00:12:20.400
okay okay yeah okay sex is is reproduction so from the time that you lay down with a woman from the
00:12:26.960
time a woman lies down with a man there's a possibility that it's gonna that a child let me listen so you're
00:12:33.120
not listening to what i said but no no no i hear what you're saying i do hear what you're saying but i said
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women are in control of who is born yeah men are like who after i understand that the sex
00:12:43.200
they both get to pick but after the sex it is a hundred women are in control yeah but also but do
00:12:48.800
you not think that the the guy from the time that he he lays with the woman the only should have the
00:12:54.640
responsibility that i bet he trials if you i think i think when women have 10 choices we can make to
00:13:01.040
avoid that situation and men have one there's more responsibility on us and also it's not about more
00:13:06.400
but i'm saying a man has responsibility for like i would i would do i do i think men should just
00:13:12.320
shoot like i've heard some stories where y'all don't even pull out i'm like you're crazy and i do i
00:13:19.200
do i recommend that no but at the end of the day we have 10 choices they have one maybe maybe two if
00:13:24.720
you could pull out so are you just saying i have more women have more responsibility that's all you're
00:13:28.800
saying okay yeah yeah facts yeah i think with all the points you've made yes women have more but i just
00:13:34.320
want to know at what point do we draw the line and actually say that like that because okay let's
00:13:38.400
take an irresponsible man let's take a baby daddy let's take nick cannon that's that's that's okay
00:13:48.320
okay okay arguably irresponsible are you happy okay yeah okay so that's one arguably sexually
00:13:57.440
irresponsible man that's 10 sexually irresponsible women absolutely so again it's more on like there are more
00:14:04.640
sexually irresponsible women than there are sexually irresponsible men because you guys might not know
00:14:09.600
this but one out of three men are either virgins or haven't had sex in the past year where the
00:14:13.920
majority of women are sexually active and there are more std cases than ever before yeah there's more
00:14:20.400
out of wedlock pregnancies than ever before there's more abortions i actually i'm not 100 sure i think
00:14:26.320
there's more abortions than ever before and and so it's like is it on the men when most of men aren't
00:14:33.360
sleeping around that much most men only around 20 percent of men can really sleep around like that
00:14:38.160
and then so then it comes back to the women because who are we picking to sleep with yeah because also
00:14:44.400
most people if i took if i know most guys i know they like to sleep without i feel like most people let's
00:14:51.360
be honest like to sleep without condoms right but at the end of the day let's say you meet a guy on a
00:14:58.160
party and you choose to sleep without a condom yeah you don't know what he's been doing he might have
00:15:03.600
been in london birmingham rio de janeiro paris amsterdam he's been everywhere and you let him
00:15:10.720
enter that's not only about you let him maybe getting pregnant that's about you being irresponsible with
00:15:17.040
your body and i feel like a lot of people need to come to terms with themselves and think you know what
00:15:21.440
this is my body because at the end of the day women for example with chlamydia a lot of women
00:15:27.040
don't know that they have it let's say yeah you get chlamydia you don't get checked up often you
00:15:33.040
might get infertile that's on you because you chose to let someone enter your body without a condom
00:15:38.560
that was your choice and i have a question just just and ladies hopefully we can be honest here
00:15:44.800
how many of you have a guy in your friend zone that you know would date you and would be a good guy
00:15:49.440
and would be there long term raise your hand if you do raise your hand if you do raise your hand
00:15:54.000
a good guy that you know would date you take you you don't have one none no they are smart they
00:15:58.720
wouldn't they be no none okay okay yeah three three okay yeah so it's like no none none can i just
00:16:06.320
touch on what you said about the about the russian roulette with the pill see like i will only sleep
00:16:12.240
with someone without a condom unless like i'm kind of with them and that's that's the thing and i know
00:16:16.560
they're not with anyone else and they've been checked yeah yeah yeah but if i forget my pill
00:16:21.920
like say one day two day i don't play russian roulette i'll openly say to him look i forgot my
00:16:26.560
pill we need to wrap up be careful because that's my responsibility yeah because i've also heard these
00:16:31.600
stories where girls i'm sorry but nothing against women but this to me sounds so fucking fucked oh i'm
00:16:38.880
swearing sorry this sounds so weird in my head where girls lie to men yeah and they say
00:16:46.240
they're on contraception i'm thinking what are you doing it's happened to a lot of my male
00:16:50.720
fans a lot of them i just don't get it you're literally playing with fire i have a question
00:16:54.960
for the men do do any of you guys know a guy that's happened to yeah loads of people
00:16:58.240
people just just i'm just curious like men in the back men in the back so there there's five
00:17:02.800
six men seven men raise your hand if you know someone that's happened okay so all right seven
00:17:08.720
and then you too you too so so it's common which goes back to we have more power because they look
00:17:15.200
at all of these guys know somebody where the women lied and said she was on birth control and that in
00:17:20.320
that instance i have a question did he really have a choice no he doesn't no and i can i say something
00:17:25.920
right power no power every action is a consequence you have to really take the consequence regardless
00:17:30.800
i'm sorry yes but that's kind of her point so what i'll say in in in in that in that scenario
00:17:39.360
obviously i'm not going to take onus of the man because i'm i don't i'm not going to trust the woman
00:17:42.960
straight away because this is the easiest way to get trapped and if you've got something about you
00:17:46.160
and if you're worth anything then you're not going to be you're going to take some some steps right
00:17:50.080
but once again what you're doing is you're you're not you're not placing any blame on the women
00:17:55.280
you're saying the men is everything when we don't have the choice so if if the choice is taken away
00:18:00.000
from for most men then you can't really put the blame firmly on on on most men so my thing is this
00:18:06.320
like so you meet women that are single mothers and for for us men we look at single mothers in two
00:18:11.920
in two scenarios baby mothers and single mothers if you were married and then you were divorced or
00:18:16.720
your widow we look at you as a single mother um if you was just had a baby by some guy situationship
00:18:22.240
whatever it was we look at you as a baby moms and men we treat we treat women different so when
00:18:25.920
we're out now we meet a lot of baby moms outside and then we look at you like where's your baby
00:18:29.840
father and a lot of times you can't get typically higher than your baby father so what tends to
00:18:33.440
happen is you guys have gone and bred by some guy and you might not speak highly of him you might say
00:18:38.160
all these types of things but then we think about oh my gosh that's the guy you chose to give the
00:18:41.520
highest honor to so when you're outside now you're trying to think you can level up level up your level
00:18:46.240
and you're saying oh you don't want to settle what you actually don't want to do is you don't want to
00:18:50.240
realize what your actual realistic level is and this is the problem for a lot of baby mothers so i
00:18:54.320
can i just ask you a question are you would you judge a woman based on their previous partner is
00:18:58.800
that what you're saying 100 facts 100 i have a question for the men and this is just something
00:19:05.360
i've heard and tell me if this is true would you if a girl has an ex that you you think is like trash
00:19:11.760
like absolute like waste what do you guys say waste man here that's the word
00:19:18.240
um do you guys is she like tainted yeah 100 100 bro i can't i can't but that goes both ways
00:19:24.000
though that goes both ways i don't think it does i'm sorry i'm sorry there's a lot of men
00:19:30.480
there's a lot of there's a lot of men or women lining up to date drake even though he had a baby with a
00:19:36.800
corn star i don't think it depends on the person but i feel like if you look at yourself yeah and
00:19:44.800
the person you date is a kind of a rep what you said is is a reflection of you i do agree so if
00:19:51.040
if someone that you know has dated someone um and you don't really like that person i'm thinking to
00:19:58.400
myself why are you associating yourself with that person because that's a reflection on you i definitely
00:20:03.920
i agree i do agree and that's why your point about the whole league thing that we spoke about
00:20:07.680
before i did semi agree but there are liars in this world and there are people that are manipulators
00:20:13.760
and they can they're really good honestly i'm not saying they don't but i'm just saying that can we
00:20:19.920
not try and ignore that okay okay i'll give you okay okay okay i'll give you i'll give you a one i'll
00:20:26.240
give you one no no no no no i'll give you i'll give you one toxic ex i'll give you one liar that just
00:20:32.560
bamboozled you yeah right i'll give you i'll give you one but i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry like
00:20:38.640
two three it's you it's you you're then then you're toxic 100 so so yeah or you have a result
00:20:47.120
it's not like can girls have one it depends how bad did you make a kid with him
00:20:52.400
no but but but when it becomes a pattern it's like you need to get bamboozled every single time
00:20:59.280
yeah because then you need to be deborah you have three different baby guys they're all bad
00:21:04.240
not because i feel like i've been in a place i feel like before where i wasn't happy within myself
00:21:11.280
and i feel like you attract a certain kind of person now when i look back and i now am in a more
00:21:18.320
comfortable position with myself with my career the people i'm around i look at people completely
00:21:23.520
differently there's different kinds of people around me so i feel like in the past i've allowed
00:21:29.760
situation and it's it's a hard one to take because you're like i was the person that did that but i've
00:21:34.880
allowed certain people in my life and i ignored my gut feeling and that's on me i can be the victim i
00:21:41.200
could be like oh they treated me badly yeah but the first time they treated you badly you went back
00:21:45.760
and you let them do it again and you let them do it again you need to sometimes just be like you
00:21:50.240
know what i'm a yeah and maybe you treated him badly too yeah you could like it takes two to tango
00:21:56.560
yeah exactly that's a conversation like women always want to talk about oh my lying cheating ex
00:22:00.800
but why did he cheat most men aren't looking to cheat what what were you not doing at home i'm serious
00:22:07.280
most men are gonna most i'm serious some people are just the way they are listen but then also i'll give you
00:22:13.440
again again i'll give you one one one or two you gotta kiss a couple frogs before you get to your
00:22:20.560
prince and life no you don't no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no
00:22:24.320
i'm speaking about myself personally because like i i get what you're saying sometimes there are some
00:22:28.640
friends in my life where i'm just like time after time after again again you're in the same situation
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with another guy he's just a different guy same same same person doing the treating you the same way
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it's like didn't you learn from the last time and that gets boring and it definitely is that person you are
00:22:42.400
you attract but in life we have to experience life is biggest lesson is experience so you have to go
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through yeah but you can't i disagree you can't throw go through the same situation multiple times
00:22:54.480
no that's what i'm saying because that kind of because if you let's say yeah because you're saying
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you have to if every person you've dated let's say has a different toxic trait then it's different
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but most of the time when i look at my own the reason why i wasn't working out before i didn't have good
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boundaries for myself yeah so i i allowed people to do things now that i've worked on that and i'm
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actively working on that that won't happen to me again but i have to take responsibility in my past
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to be like you know what i allowed that to happen i allowed them to do that to me i went back that's on
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me and i feel like a lot of people nowadays because of this cancel culture and everything they're always
00:23:32.880
like it's other people other people other yeah at the end of the day yes you came on this earth
00:23:37.520
and you need to take this yeah you need to make choices and take responsibility for that
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but i'm just saying it could take one toxic egg to end up pregnant and then you've got someone
00:23:46.160
on the date that's judging you for that one bad person yeah but but you had 40 like then you had 10
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choices that you didn't make that went into that one child you had you had the plan b you had birth
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control you had you had no no so i'm saying it wasn't just one bad decision it was like 10 that got you
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you could only get pregnant like three days a month and then back to the cheating thing like
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it goes it goes back to there's two different types of reasons like girls keep getting cheated
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on you either pick a top 20 guy where that girls are thrown at him all the time and that's your
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choice like it kind of goes back to i always say if you date an nba player or you know even i'll even
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give you a basketball player as many of you know i was just banned on tick tock and we are demonetized
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