JustPearlyThings - October 12, 2023


Modern Women REVEALED What They Want from Men in the Dating Market


Episode Stats

Length

25 minutes

Words per Minute

200.95471

Word Count

5,192

Sentence Count

386


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 she's irredeemably unattractive for some reason can pretty much go out and probably attract
00:00:06.520 somebody that night you know there's not a problem with guys that's not necessarily the case unless
00:00:10.820 they happen to be either you know top whatever percentile in terms of looks or they have social
00:00:15.020 states or they're famous you know so a lot of guys and a lot of guys sort of who fall below that
00:00:18.920 find it very very hard to break through and then when you add on top of that a sort of a lack of
00:00:24.420 social skills or a lack of confidence a lack of ability uh to sort of overcome some of the other
00:00:29.260 difficulties they might have you know there are guys who are really really finding it very tough
00:00:33.780 and we seem to be coming into this environment now where that's you know the rich get richer the poor
00:00:38.380 get poorer in terms of dating so the guys who are at the top who are getting traction they're they're
00:00:43.420 getting more and more market share if you like and then the guys at the bottom are getting less and
00:00:47.580 less and that's why we've got this issue of guys who are frustrated and there's you know there's sort
00:00:52.380 of the insult thing online and everything like that you know um so i think it's pretty tough out there
00:00:57.280 for for a lot of average sort of dudes i think yeah um one out of three men are either virgins or
00:01:03.460 haven't had sex in the past year oh wow so so in here
00:01:08.800 but so it's it's funny because a lot of girls like think that men are pickier than women but it's
00:01:25.120 actually the opposite women are much pickier than men i mean think about out of every 10 men how many
00:01:29.520 are you really attracted to who is anyone here would you anyone here say that they're not picky
00:01:34.320 i'm picky i'm definitely picky i think i've become picky over time yeah
00:01:40.500 yeah so then wouldn't you say that men have higher beauty standards they have to live up to
00:01:47.760 haven't you heard um women say they won't date short men would any of you date a guy shorter than them
00:01:51.840 um no i feel like i'm not quite short as it is so two inches shorter than you any of you doing it
00:02:00.480 and i like to wear heels so it's not gonna work out yeah yeah exactly it's not working out
00:02:08.240 so i think it is tougher for guys i think looks wise it has got tougher for guys and i think you know
00:02:12.080 maybe you could say well we've had it coming because the guys were sort of like for a long time
00:02:16.160 mm-hmm the the looks focus was very much on women but i think now very much on guys really you know
00:02:23.680 again look through instagram dudes with six packs chiseled you know features all the rest of it and
00:02:30.480 the way that social media has has worked and the way that the dating apps has worked has meant that
00:02:34.720 women are now looking at these apps and they're looking at all these like top guys you know top
00:02:38.000 percentile guys are like oh that guy's super hot and then the bloke who who doesn't have those
00:02:42.400 attributes doesn't measure up so she's thinking well i want i want this guy at the top so so now
00:02:46.560 guys are being encouraged to level up you know which is not all altogether a bad thing right
00:02:52.080 because self-improvement's good for everybody you know we should all be doing what we can do to
00:02:55.360 improve ourselves every day right but at the same time i think it is it has got tougher for guys
00:02:59.840 and then in a society like here like in the uk there's a lot of guys who are very thirsty and
00:03:06.400 you know and and they will they they will drop their standards you know yeah yeah
00:03:12.960 sad how so do you ever teach guys to like cold approach women yeah absolutely yeah yeah and
00:03:20.080 what percent of women are receptive would you say to i mean like you've been doing this forever right
00:03:25.600 yeah but there's someone that hasn't um it like he has to go through how many girls to get a number
00:03:32.400 it depends usual caveats it depends where it is you know there are certain places like if you're
00:03:36.880 in like latin america it's a lot more people are maybe italy as well actually i don't know
00:03:41.600 maybe not but you know latin culture is a bit more like open yeah they play the card like you
00:03:45.840 know latin lover yeah but i don't know i think it's difficult though like everywhere but but to
00:03:50.880 one yeah yeah it is but to answer the question um you have to be prepared to go through a lot of
00:03:55.760 rejection you know like if you're an average guy and you're you're going to talk to a woman in a
00:04:00.960 coffee shop or you know a bar or bookstore or the grocery store whatever it is you know you're all
00:04:05.360 going to go through through rejection um in fact rejection is is the rule and the exception really
00:04:12.400 is to get is to get accepted but that's okay you know it's a question of accepting that being okay
00:04:17.680 with that being confident and working on yourself every day in order to be the best possible man that
00:04:21.840 you can be um but yeah a lot of rejection for sure for people uh go ahead i was going to say well at
00:04:28.240 least a man has options i feel like women we are our options are very very limited so even if even if
00:04:33.680 a man's getting rejected at least he knows okay fine i can find another woman who is maybe like a woman
00:04:38.400 that i'm interested in but for a woman it's very very difficult i feel like the options for men are
00:04:43.200 very very not difficult you just go outside it's true but it's like for me it's not going to be a
00:04:51.520 guy that i i want but whose fault is that isn't that your own fault because it's definitely not my
00:04:57.360 fault i'm not selling for anybody that i'm not attracted to what i don't want absolutely i agree
00:05:02.240 we need better options so yeah i think you should so the men the men need to level up but then don't
00:05:06.880 you think the women need to level up i mean how many women are leveling i'm leveled
00:05:10.320 what percent of women have cookbooks what percent of women are homemakers what percent of women really
00:05:16.720 work with kids and can be good mothers but that's a percentage but you just have to find your percentage
00:05:26.400 you have to find your percentage you have to find it there's women out there you just have to find
00:05:30.320 yeah but is it common but that's for a certain type of man there are some men that like boss babes
00:05:34.960 who have businesses, who are grinding and stuff like that.
00:05:38.220 They are 100%.
00:05:39.720 Bums.
00:05:40.720 Broke men.
00:05:44.720 If that's what you did, that's what you did.
00:05:47.720 No.
00:05:48.720 So you don't think men like women that are boss babes?
00:05:50.600 Men don't give a shit about our money.
00:05:52.600 They literally don't care.
00:05:53.900 It's like, okay, if this guy ever told you about a shoe collection,
00:05:56.820 and you're like, oh, that's cool, but you don't really care.
00:05:58.700 That's how men view our money.
00:06:00.320 They don't care.
00:06:00.860 It's nothing to them.
00:06:02.060 But you proved the point of what you said just now, though,
00:06:04.060 because what you're saying is that you could walk out theoretically,
00:06:07.220 you know, hypothetically, you could walk out and get some guy,
00:06:09.320 maybe come and chat you up or whatever,
00:06:10.760 but you're looking for a certain percentile of guy.
00:06:13.100 Yeah.
00:06:13.500 So you're basically saying, oh, you know,
00:06:15.660 this group of guys who might hit on me randomly in West London,
00:06:20.000 I don't care about them because I want this top tier.
00:06:22.820 And that's the thing.
00:06:23.500 And I'm not saying that's a bad.
00:06:24.900 I mean, that's absolutely everyone's prerogative.
00:06:26.960 But at the same time, I think a lot of guys are finding it
00:06:29.700 increasingly difficult in this dating marketplace, you know,
00:06:32.960 because women are the gatekeepers, basically, you know.
00:06:35.120 Yes.
00:06:35.620 So I'm curious because I hear this a lot.
00:06:38.460 Like, I'm not going to get a guy that's not on my level.
00:06:40.820 Or is that what you said?
00:06:41.900 I don't want to misquote you.
00:06:42.900 Yeah, I just don't want to be with a guy that's just not up to the standard that I want.
00:06:47.400 So when as women do we lower our standards and decide that they're too high?
00:06:51.160 If we don't, if all the guys we're talking to don't live up to the standards that we want,
00:06:55.320 when do we lower them?
00:06:56.200 When you're getting old and there's no more time, when your body clock is giving up
00:07:00.700 and you can't have children, you just need to settle.
00:07:02.860 So 90% of your eggs are gone by 30.
00:07:05.500 So at what age would you say that women should start lowering their standards?
00:07:09.200 Because that would be 30 then, if that's the case.
00:07:11.360 Because I need children, do you know what I mean?
00:07:14.240 Because it's geriatric pregnancy starts at 35.
00:07:16.360 Wow.
00:07:17.360 So I think a lot of times, like women, we think our biological clock is a lot longer than it really is.
00:07:22.200 You freeze your eggs.
00:07:24.200 That's also an option, yeah.
00:07:26.200 Yeah, but I can't remember the stat off the top of my head,
00:07:30.200 but it doesn't work out for a lot of women.
00:07:32.700 They kind of sell us that dream.
00:07:34.200 Yeah.
00:07:35.200 I wish I could remember what percent of women actually get pregnant,
00:07:38.900 but it's not as high as you think after geriatric pregnancy.
00:07:43.200 I think the other way around, it's only about 50% if a guy freezes his sperm.
00:07:48.200 Oh, wow.
00:07:49.200 It's quite, it's, you know, it's like a 50-50 shot basically,
00:07:52.200 whether it's going to work or not.
00:07:55.200 I mean, yeah, it's a bit of a tricky one.
00:07:57.200 I mean, yeah, I don't know.
00:08:01.200 Under...
00:08:03.200 But no one can help who they're attracted to.
00:08:05.200 Exactly.
00:08:06.200 I mean, you can't say to somebody, well, you know, it's very hard to say to somebody,
00:08:11.200 look, you should lower your standards because we are attracted to who we're attracted to,
00:08:16.200 and that's just the reality of it, isn't it?
00:08:18.200 I'm curious.
00:08:19.200 Would you guys rather be, like, so at 60, 65, would you rather be by yourself
00:08:24.200 or be with someone you're not attracted to?
00:08:26.200 Be by myself.
00:08:27.200 Be by myself, yeah.
00:08:28.200 Yeah.
00:08:29.200 Cats?
00:08:30.200 Yeah.
00:08:31.200 Really?
00:08:32.200 No kids?
00:08:34.200 Because to me, it's like, I'd rather be with someone I'm not attracted to than not have children.
00:08:37.200 Yeah, 100%.
00:08:38.200 I definitely want children.
00:08:39.200 I would feel like my life was, like, a failure if I didn't have kids.
00:08:41.200 No, I'm not looking for companionship.
00:08:42.200 No, I definitely want kids.
00:08:43.200 If it's real, it's not.
00:08:44.200 What?
00:08:45.200 If it's real, it's not.
00:08:46.200 What?
00:08:47.200 If it's real, it's not.
00:08:48.200 What were you going to say?
00:08:50.200 You definitely want kids?
00:08:51.200 Yeah.
00:08:52.200 I know.
00:08:53.200 So I'm asking if you had the two options and you would still pick by yourself.
00:08:56.200 You said at 65.
00:08:57.200 I mean, you just told me the age of 35, so...
00:09:01.200 No, but I'm saying, so in one scenario at 65, you have a husband you're not attracted to
00:09:05.200 and children and a family, and at the other one, you're by yourself.
00:09:08.200 So I'm saying, like, as women, we keep saying we need our standards to be on a certain level,
00:09:12.200 right?
00:09:13.200 And I hear this is super common.
00:09:14.200 It's not just you.
00:09:15.200 So it's like, but when do we start lowering them if the men aren't meeting them?
00:09:19.200 Because what's our other option?
00:09:21.200 Bye, dog.
00:09:22.200 That dog ain't giving you kids, I'll tell you that.
00:09:27.200 I think that's where it goes with the beauty beyond the eye.
00:09:31.200 You see?
00:09:32.200 You start, you know, you don't find them attractive first and you really start liking them after.
00:09:36.200 But you see what I'm saying when I say that?
00:09:38.200 Like, I think that women, men have higher beauty standards than women.
00:09:42.200 Like, that they have to live up to.
00:09:45.200 Because it's such a small percentage of men that we're even attracted to.
00:09:48.200 Everyone here said they're picky.
00:09:49.200 But don't you feel like it happened to us first as women?
00:09:53.200 We had to level ourselves up to be a certain way.
00:09:57.200 When do you think we had to level ourselves up?
00:10:02.200 I'd say about 20, 30 years ago.
00:10:05.200 I feel like we've gotten worse in the last 20 to 30 years.
00:10:08.200 See? So about 20, 30 years?
00:10:09.200 No, but I don't think we've leveled up. I think women have leveled down.
00:10:12.200 Yeah, but...
00:10:13.200 I don't agree with that.
00:10:14.200 No, I think you're right.
00:10:16.200 But I think, probably, from my perspective, I reckon what happened was that there was that pressure on women.
00:10:21.200 To be, you know, you've got to look amazing all the time.
00:10:24.200 And blokes, like, back in the sort of the 80s and early 90s and stuff, guys didn't really have to make an effort.
00:10:29.200 You know what I mean?
00:10:30.200 It was like, you could have a beer gun, just like, whatever, football shirt on.
00:10:34.200 And just, oh, yeah, she's nice.
00:10:35.200 And, you know, it's very laddy kind of thing.
00:10:36.200 Really?
00:10:37.200 I've seen pictures of guys from, like, the...
00:10:39.200 I saw beach pictures from, like, before the 60s.
00:10:43.200 Everyone was hot back then.
00:10:45.200 I thought they were so much more attractive.
00:10:47.200 I think, well...
00:10:48.200 The men and the women.
00:10:49.200 They were...
00:10:50.200 I feel like something switched in the food or something.
00:10:52.200 Well, maybe just in England then.
00:10:54.200 But no, I know what you mean, because I've seen pictures in, like, Brazilian stuff, like, from the 70s.
00:10:58.200 No, I'm talking the US, like, California pictures.
00:11:00.200 Oh, really?
00:11:01.200 Yeah.
00:11:02.200 Okay, okay, okay.
00:11:03.200 I don't know.
00:11:04.200 Well, from my perspective, what I've seen, I think that standards for men have got higher in the last sort of 10, 15, 20 years.
00:11:12.200 That's just my sense of it.
00:11:14.200 And maybe women's had to have been higher in the past.
00:11:16.200 But, like, I don't know.
00:11:20.200 It doesn't really help anybody, does it?
00:11:21.200 Do you know what I mean?
00:11:22.200 Yeah.
00:11:23.200 I think now, because of the thirstiness of guys and the fact that, as we've said, I mean, guys are less selected than women.
00:11:30.200 I think guys are now more, less picky than they were.
00:11:33.200 Do you know what I mean?
00:11:34.200 I think there are many guys who will take a woman who's perhaps less attractive than he would have preferred because he thinks that's his only option.
00:11:42.200 I think, ultimately, it's finding someone you're compatible with.
00:11:46.200 So, all these standards, standards, standards.
00:11:49.200 It's like, what is a standard?
00:11:50.200 If he's a good guy, if he's a good girl, and it's like, you know, it's compatible to you.
00:11:54.200 It's got the same values, same, you know, principles, and you get along well, and you have the same, you know, goals in life.
00:12:00.200 I think that's what can be defined as a, you know.
00:12:03.200 Yeah, I'm curious.
00:12:04.200 What are your standards?
00:12:06.200 Like, what do you guys look for in a guy?
00:12:09.200 I think I'm maybe not the right person.
00:12:12.200 I think, like, lots of women.
00:12:14.200 No, because it's like...
00:12:15.200 You don't look for anything?
00:12:16.200 No, because I...
00:12:19.200 You go, women?
00:12:20.200 Women?
00:12:21.200 Is that your thing?
00:12:22.200 No, because I know that lots of women, they look at just, you know, how much money my man is making, how much, you know, good life you have.
00:12:30.200 Yeah, you don't have to say money.
00:12:31.200 It could be, like, whatever you look for.
00:12:33.200 For me, it's like having emotional support.
00:12:36.200 Most of everything.
00:12:37.200 And, you know, having someone that, you know, understands my needs, you know, on a mental level.
00:12:42.200 Obviously, you know, we need to, you know, do life together and navigate, you know, challenges and everything.
00:12:48.200 But ultimately, for me, it's about finding that compatible person, which is very difficult to do because, you know, you're going to have always something, you know, that...
00:12:57.200 Some character traits that are not really, you know, men and women are just different.
00:13:02.200 And as much as we want to play this card, oh, I want to be like a man.
00:13:05.200 I'm never going to be a man.
00:13:06.200 I wasn't born a man.
00:13:07.200 And I'm not going to understand what men...
00:13:09.200 So don't you think that asking him to understand your emotional needs is asking a man to be a woman when he's not a woman?
00:13:15.200 A little bit, yes, but not in a way like, don't get me wrong.
00:13:19.200 Yes, maybe a little bit, yes.
00:13:21.200 But at the same time, I don't want a cold person, you know, in front of me.
00:13:24.200 No, you know, I want to have someone that is kind of empathic enough, you know, got a little bit of warmness.
00:13:30.200 That doesn't sound too hard to find a warm, a nice guy.
00:13:32.200 You think that's hard?
00:13:34.200 Um...
00:13:35.200 Like what else?
00:13:36.200 There has to be...
00:13:37.200 There's going to be loads...
00:13:38.200 I was like, there has to be more.
00:13:40.200 It can't just be that.
00:13:41.200 Yeah, I mean, there are, but...
00:13:44.200 There's going to be loads of guys in the chat now.
00:13:46.200 I'm a nice guy.
00:13:47.200 I can emotionally support you.
00:13:49.200 No, no.
00:13:51.200 I mean, I want to, you know, I want to say this, like, there are lots of great guys out there.
00:13:56.200 I don't want to be like, oh yeah, man.
00:13:58.200 It's just, I find that this particular time that we're living, guys are like finding very difficult in committing on the long term.
00:14:06.200 Because, you know, a lot of pressure there is in this society.
00:14:08.200 So it's like, I can't provide to my woman because, you know, the bills are going high.
00:14:12.200 You know, the society is crazy at the moment, you know, and women wants always more, more, more.
00:14:16.200 The last clothes, the last, you know, trend that is there, you know, I need to satisfy that.
00:14:21.200 And I feel like that it's quite detrimental.
00:14:24.200 So I feel like, yes, you're right.
00:14:26.200 Maybe we can lower a little bit our standards and try trying to be more realistic with what we really, you know, we're going to get.
00:14:33.200 How old would you date?
00:14:35.200 Like, is there an age range?
00:14:36.200 Like, you said you're 37, right?
00:14:38.200 38.
00:14:39.200 38.
00:14:40.200 Okay.
00:14:41.200 So would you date a 21 year old guy?
00:14:42.200 I don't think so.
00:14:43.200 No.
00:14:44.200 Okay.
00:14:45.200 So there's age.
00:14:46.200 Yeah.
00:14:47.200 Because it's a question.
00:14:48.200 I mean, yeah, I don't think so.
00:14:49.200 It has to be like, you know, mature enough for me to, you know, for me to get deep conversation.
00:14:53.200 Oh, what are you talking about?
00:14:54.200 Without scaring him.
00:14:55.200 And I think like when you're 21, you still need to figure out a lot of things.
00:15:00.200 I'm not saying that by 38, you're going to have everything.
00:15:02.200 No.
00:15:03.200 So you date a 55 year old guy?
00:15:04.200 That's okay.
00:15:05.200 No, I don't think so.
00:15:06.200 Okay.
00:15:07.200 No, I don't think so.
00:15:08.200 Okay.
00:15:09.200 So.
00:15:10.200 No, it's like you're the same age.
00:15:11.200 So, you know, maybe, maybe up until 45, I would say.
00:15:15.200 45.
00:15:16.200 Yeah.
00:15:17.200 Okay.
00:15:18.200 Or less.
00:15:19.200 Yeah.
00:15:20.200 Anything else?
00:15:21.200 So he just has to be emotionally available under the age of 45.
00:15:22.200 Funny.
00:15:23.200 Over 30, maybe.
00:15:24.200 Over 30.
00:15:25.200 Yeah.
00:15:26.200 But I'm not doing like an advert out there.
00:15:28.200 No, no, no, no, that's not an advert.
00:15:35.200 Just, as I said, like for me, the emotional support without being too much a woman is very
00:15:42.200 important and to be able to, you know, understand like that.
00:15:48.200 Trying to understand us because as we, as women, we're trying to understand men.
00:15:54.200 And we're trying to get into that masculine energy, which is quite difficult to do.
00:15:59.200 And at the same time, I would love, you know, that the man trying to be a little bit more empathetic
00:16:03.200 and trying to understand without becoming a woman.
00:16:06.200 I mean, it has to be men.
00:16:07.200 It has to be men.
00:16:08.200 Have you dated guys that weren't emotionally available before or emotionally?
00:16:13.200 I forgot what words you said exactly, but something like that.
00:16:16.200 You just mentioned it a couple of times.
00:16:18.200 I was just wondering.
00:16:19.200 I think there are lots of emotionally unavailable men out there because everything has to do
00:16:25.200 with, I think, traumas and things they've been experiencing in life.
00:16:28.200 So if a man is emotionally unavailable, it's just because it went maybe through something
00:16:34.200 that is not capable of.
00:16:36.200 You might feel something, but it's just not capable to just put everything out there.
00:16:40.200 I'm not saying that everyone is like that, but I think a lot of people, I mean, again,
00:16:45.200 talking with a lot of friends and people, they are all saying men, they don't want to commit.
00:16:50.200 You know, they don't want to see the long term.
00:16:52.200 They always.
00:16:53.200 But I feel also like maybe we need to look at ourselves and say, like, what's wrong with me?
00:16:58.200 Why is this not working and trying to fix things?
00:17:02.200 What about you?
00:17:04.200 What do you look for in a guy?
00:17:06.200 What are you?
00:17:07.200 Ambition.
00:17:08.200 Again, emotional support as well.
00:17:10.200 Because I feel like a lot of men do not know how to give emotional support.
00:17:14.200 And when you do question it, they end up arguing with you or backing away.
00:17:19.200 Again, like she said, because of traumas and stuff that goes like wrong in their life.
00:17:26.200 And then they bring it into the relationship from past experiences or being cheated on.
00:17:31.200 So I think it is.
00:17:33.200 It's very tough to find that.
00:17:36.200 So what else?
00:17:38.200 Someone.
00:17:39.200 So you said ambitious.
00:17:40.200 Can we put a dollar amount to it?
00:17:42.200 Is there a money?
00:17:43.200 How much?
00:17:44.200 Because how old did you say you were?
00:17:46.200 32.
00:17:47.200 32.
00:17:48.200 So what old is the guy roughly?
00:17:50.200 How old?
00:17:51.200 Yeah.
00:17:52.200 Do you want him to be?
00:17:53.200 My age and I would say up to the age of 40.
00:17:57.200 Okay.
00:17:58.200 So let's say he's 40.
00:17:59.200 Okay.
00:18:00.200 How much does he have to be making roughly?
00:18:04.200 I just think he just needs to be able to be a provider.
00:18:08.200 Especially if you're going into a relationship.
00:18:11.200 Because I'm quite old school.
00:18:13.200 So I think a woman should play their role and a man should play their role.
00:18:17.200 So if you're able to provide and, you know, pay, sorry, run the household, then it's okay.
00:18:25.200 I don't think it...
00:18:26.200 How much does that cost?
00:18:28.200 Well, that depends on where you're living.
00:18:30.200 You could be living outside of London, inside of London.
00:18:33.200 That all depends.
00:18:35.200 How many bedrooms you have.
00:18:38.200 Yeah, it really all depends.
00:18:40.200 A rough...
00:18:41.200 Could I get a rough number?
00:18:43.200 I don't have a number.
00:18:47.200 Maybe about 40,000 a year.
00:18:50.200 Okay, 40,000.
00:18:51.200 That's like 50.
00:18:52.200 I'm American.
00:18:53.200 So 55,000.
00:18:54.200 That's like average salary, right?
00:18:55.200 Yeah.
00:18:56.200 Okay, that's not bad.
00:18:57.200 So average salary, what else?
00:18:59.200 40...
00:19:00.200 30 to 40 roughly is what you said.
00:19:03.200 Yeah.
00:19:04.200 Your age, your average salary, what else?
00:19:07.200 Yeah, so you need to be able to support me emotionally as well.
00:19:12.200 Again, you need to have some sort of attraction there.
00:19:18.200 That's it, really.
00:19:21.200 What about height?
00:19:22.200 How tall?
00:19:23.200 Oh, you need to be taller than me.
00:19:25.200 How tall are you?
00:19:26.200 I'm 5'6.
00:19:27.200 Okay, so 5'6 is good?
00:19:29.200 About 5'7 and above.
00:19:31.200 5'7 and above.
00:19:32.200 Okay.
00:19:33.200 Yeah.
00:19:34.200 So that's it?
00:19:35.200 It doesn't sound that hard to find.
00:19:37.200 It doesn't sound that hard to find.
00:19:38.200 No, but it is really difficult.
00:19:39.200 A 5'7 guy making $40,000 a year.
00:19:42.200 Yeah.
00:19:43.200 That's emotionally available.
00:19:45.200 It doesn't seem that hard.
00:19:46.200 It is very hard.
00:19:48.200 I just feel like, yeah, a lot of guys are just not there anymore.
00:19:51.200 They're just very big in their minds elsewhere, to be honest.
00:19:56.200 It's just interesting.
00:19:58.200 40...
00:20:00.200 You said you're old school, right?
00:20:02.200 Yeah.
00:20:03.200 Do you think that women should be virgins the same way that men should be providers?
00:20:07.200 No.
00:20:08.200 Why?
00:20:09.200 Isn't that a double standard?
00:20:11.200 Because if we expect them to be traditional providers, shouldn't we be traditional virgins?
00:20:16.200 Yeah, but again, I am old school, but you have to know that this is the modern world as well.
00:20:22.200 So that's not really going to happen.
00:20:24.200 So wouldn't you say the same thing with that provider guy?
00:20:27.200 Like, it's not going to happen.
00:20:29.200 You need two incomes to survive.
00:20:31.200 To a certain aspect.
00:20:32.200 Yeah.
00:20:33.200 Yeah.
00:20:34.200 Okay.
00:20:35.200 What do you look for?
00:20:36.200 Go ahead.
00:20:37.200 A man that can support me like I can support him.
00:20:40.200 And that doesn't just mean money.
00:20:42.200 I'm talking about generally and stuff that I like to do.
00:20:45.200 Support me in what I like to do.
00:20:48.200 And I'm very big on supporting a man as well.
00:20:51.200 Like, I love to give them the encouragement and be their cheerleader.
00:20:56.200 And I just want the same.
00:20:57.200 And being able to see a future with that person and us having the same goals, which means a family, building a house together.
00:21:10.200 Would he be a great father figure?
00:21:11.200 I wouldn't know unless he has kids already.
00:21:12.200 Loving me.
00:21:13.200 Just having a lovable home.
00:21:14.200 Yes, he has to work.
00:21:15.200 Because I'm not having a man that doesn't work.
00:21:16.200 Because I work.
00:21:17.200 So we both have to work.
00:21:18.200 And I'm not really bothered about, I'm happy to go 50-50 if I have to.
00:21:33.200 You know?
00:21:34.200 I mean, you can pay the mortgage and I could pay for the gas and electric.
00:21:37.200 You know, I'm all right with that too.
00:21:39.200 But that's what I want.
00:21:41.200 And emotional support.
00:21:42.200 Yeah, we do need emotional support.
00:21:44.200 Because a lot of men these days, which you don't realize, they need emotional support.
00:21:48.200 So why can't we get it?
00:21:50.200 Who do you think is more emotionally unstable?
00:21:52.200 Men or women?
00:21:53.200 I think men are now.
00:21:55.200 I would have said women before.
00:21:56.200 But I feel like...
00:21:57.200 Women.
00:21:58.200 Maybe.
00:21:59.200 Women.
00:22:00.200 Sorry, go ahead.
00:22:01.200 Go ahead.
00:22:02.200 Yeah, I think women.
00:22:03.200 Oh my gosh.
00:22:04.200 I feel like men are now.
00:22:06.200 No.
00:22:07.200 You see TikTok?
00:22:09.200 That's all it is.
00:22:10.200 It's emotionally unstable women.
00:22:12.200 All these girls crying on TikTok.
00:22:15.200 I'm like, what is going on?
00:22:17.200 I haven't seen a guy crying on TikTok.
00:22:19.200 Yeah, could they do it behind closed doors?
00:22:21.200 I feel like men hide their feelings as well.
00:22:24.200 Yeah, men don't really like to show how they're feeling compared to women.
00:22:28.200 But don't you think that's just how men process emotions?
00:22:30.200 Like they process emotions differently than women?
00:22:32.200 Yeah, they do.
00:22:33.200 But not all men.
00:22:34.200 But in general, right?
00:22:36.200 Because we always make it sound like a bad thing that men don't like talk to each other
00:22:40.200 or like talk to us about their emotions.
00:22:42.200 But I just think they process emotions differently.
00:22:44.200 Differently.
00:22:45.200 Yeah, they do.
00:22:46.200 Compared to women.
00:22:47.200 But it's like sometimes we try to make them into women by being like process the emotions.
00:22:51.200 Like I process the emotions.
00:22:52.200 True.
00:22:53.200 I think they need to because there is a lot of men that have mental health at the moment.
00:22:57.200 So I think they do need to be able to talk about their feelings.
00:23:01.200 Yeah, but not with women.
00:23:02.200 Yeah.
00:23:03.200 But why not?
00:23:04.200 Why not?
00:23:05.200 Yeah, why not?
00:23:06.200 Honestly, because women throw stuff in your face later.
00:23:09.200 I agree.
00:23:10.200 Yeah, that's true.
00:23:11.200 And then what they do, what they do is they'll throw something in your face and then they'll
00:23:15.200 add lies to it.
00:23:16.200 So it'll be kind of true, but kind of not true.
00:23:18.200 Yeah, but not all women.
00:23:19.200 Not all women, yeah.
00:23:20.200 I mean, I didn't say 100% of women, but I'm just saying if I had a balance of probabilities
00:23:24.200 and I had 10 guys and 10 girls, I would say that women are more likely to do that.
00:23:28.200 Yeah.
00:23:29.200 The other problem is I don't think women find it very attractive when guys are emotionally
00:23:33.200 vulnerable, to be honest.
00:23:34.200 I mean, I think because when I was growing up, it was said, you know, people were starting
00:23:38.200 to say, oh, you know, just be open with your feelings, be vulnerable, be emotional with
00:23:41.200 her and everything like that.
00:23:42.200 But actually the reality out there is that I don't think women really, you know.
00:23:46.200 I feel like it depends.
00:23:47.200 For example, me personally, I would want a guy to open up to me and let me know how they're
00:23:51.200 feeling.
00:23:52.200 What if he was crying every night?
00:23:53.200 No.
00:23:54.200 Not every night.
00:23:55.200 Yeah, that's a bit much.
00:23:56.200 Maybe.
00:23:57.200 That's why it's like confusing to men because we'll be like, be open with us.
00:24:00.200 Oh, but not too open.
00:24:01.200 Yeah.
00:24:02.200 So if you want to cry every day, put that, put that, take that shit away.
00:24:07.200 So it's kind of like what, at what point with each girl is emotionally available enough,
00:24:12.200 emotionally open enough?
00:24:14.200 I feel like it depends.
00:24:18.200 If I was to be in a relationship with a guy and we've gotten to that level where we're
00:24:22.200 comfortable, to open up to each other, then I don't think it would be an issue for him
00:24:26.200 to, if he was to cry to me every night, you know.
00:24:29.200 Maybe there could be something I can do to help him.
00:24:31.200 Me personally anyways, I don't see that.
00:24:32.200 For how long?
00:24:33.200 A year?
00:24:34.200 A year is too much.
00:24:36.200 I mean, that would be too much for a man or a woman though.
00:24:40.200 And I feel like realistically, a man's not going to cry to you for a year.
00:24:43.200 You know?
00:24:44.200 I feel like that would be too much either way.
00:24:46.200 If it's a man that's crying for a year, that's a problem.
00:24:48.200 If it's a woman that's crying for a year, that's a problem.
00:24:50.200 I think a month straight, that would be too much for me.
00:24:53.200 Don't stop crying.
00:24:55.200 But being real, to think of a guy in that manner, that's not really sexy, is it?
00:25:03.200 No.
00:25:04.200 Do you know what I mean?
00:25:05.200 I think there's a time and a place.
00:25:06.200 It depends where you're at.
00:25:07.200 If that's your partner, that's your person, you've been together for a long amount of time,
00:25:11.200 then his problem is your problem.
00:25:13.200 I can't meet you on day one and you're telling me about your emotional self.
00:25:16.200 I don't want to hear it.
00:25:17.200 And that's happened to me before and I was put off and I didn't want to speak to him.
00:25:20.200 I'm so sorry.
00:25:21.200 Yeah, yeah.
00:25:22.200 You can't tell me on day one what's going on emotionally because I'm not even telling you and I'm the woman.
00:25:25.200 Yeah.
00:25:26.200 Sorry.
00:25:27.200 Definitely.
00:25:31.200 See, I feel like this is why guys don't want to open up.
00:25:34.200 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok.
00:25:37.200 And we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
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