JustPearlyThings - November 24, 2023


Modern Women UNVEILED Their Plan After Feminism Agenda


Episode Stats

Length

28 minutes

Words per Minute

197.35924

Word Count

5,660

Sentence Count

524

Misogynist Sentences

8

Hate Speech Sentences

6


Summary

In this episode, we discuss if modern women are prepared for the coming recession and how to deal with inflation and the cost of living in the UK and the US. We also discuss whether or not it's better to live with a romantic partner or have a roommate.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 So, today's topic is, what did I title it? I forgot. Are modern women prepared for winter? Yeah, that's okay. That's what I thought. Okay, so today's topic is, are modern women prepared for winter?
00:00:12.260 So, one year ago, Kevin Samuels proclaimed that a cold winter was coming for single women. Mr. Samuels spoke of a coming recession that would lead to job losses in sectors filled predominantly by women. The financial instability would lead to more women getting evicted, applying for government assistance, and seeking other means of income, aka OnlyFans and other sex work.
00:00:37.480 No sector is safe from the coming winter of over 73,000 tech job workers being laid off in the month of November 2022 in the U.S. According to news sources, that time is almost here.
00:00:53.080 Inflation in the U.K. is projected to rise to 18.6% in January of 2023, the highest since 1997.
00:01:02.960 This inflation will apply to food and consumer goods the most. Only 14% of women say they are ready for a recession in the next year.
00:01:13.780 The average woman in the U.K., about 52% make 29,684 pounds a year.
00:01:21.600 The average woman in the U.S. makes about $36,726 a year. Rent has increased by 12.3% nationwide in the U.K.
00:01:34.780 Rent has increased 17.3% to around 2,550 pounds in London and as high as 20% or 2,650 pounds in Manchester.
00:01:46.680 Women make less than men and spend more. The current way that women are navigating their finances is unsustainable with inflation coming and the coming winter exacerbating the problem.
00:02:00.520 Putting feelings and emotions aside, women in general will need a man because they simply cannot afford to live without one.
00:02:08.260 Their survival depends on it.
00:02:10.060 Question for the women. Actually, and the men. I'm going to say and the men.
00:02:15.360 Have you, first of all, have you noticed the cost of living increasing?
00:02:20.940 Anybody? Yes.
00:02:22.460 Yes.
00:02:22.720 Yes.
00:02:23.860 Definitely.
00:02:24.800 Yeah, absolutely.
00:02:25.780 A hundred percent.
00:02:27.380 Who hasn't noticed it?
00:02:30.020 Who hasn't?
00:02:31.920 Did someone say they haven't noticed it?
00:02:34.160 No.
00:02:34.460 Oh, I thought someone said no.
00:02:35.900 Okay, okay.
00:02:36.320 I noticed it when I bought kitchen roll. It was like 4.15 and it went up to like 5.15 and I was like, still the same kitchen roll.
00:02:44.640 So, how bad would the economy have to get before you view a second income and a relationship as a necessity?
00:02:55.380 To the point where I can't afford no kitchen roll.
00:02:57.300 I feel like I would have to be let go from my job and like dismissed from my family and like out on the street somewhere for me to be asking somebody like, hey, can I rely on your income too?
00:03:13.380 I just, and maybe I'm just too independent for that, but like.
00:03:15.840 It's a joint income though.
00:03:17.440 It's not, you don't have to like get to the, to the, to the very end of the road before you sit there and say, hey, we could have a better life if we pool our finances.
00:03:25.620 Yeah, it's like if you make 40 and they make 40, that's 80.
00:03:27.880 That's 80.
00:03:28.220 That's 80.
00:03:28.920 And then you have half the rent.
00:03:30.020 You just have to, you just have to like, you know, agree sometimes, even if you don't feel like agreeing, you know?
00:03:36.500 No, I don't want to compromise.
00:03:38.100 I want to be homeless on the streets.
00:03:41.480 Please, have you got any change?
00:03:47.440 Okay.
00:03:47.980 What about you?
00:03:49.180 Oh God.
00:03:50.320 Yeah, I'm going to probably align with Keala.
00:03:53.380 I, I would rather just like get like a roommate than compromise.
00:03:59.940 Like under, like I would rather get a roommate or two roommates before I went to being dependent or having a part of my life, being dependent on someone else's income in like a romantic setting.
00:04:13.340 Okay.
00:04:13.780 That just would make me really uncomfortable.
00:04:15.420 So you'd rather have roommates than a man?
00:04:16.980 I'd rather have roommates than depend on a man in a, we're like, I rather, there's no, I would rather, yeah, have multiple roommates.
00:04:25.180 Yeah, it would, it would take a lot.
00:04:26.220 Don't you have to depend on the roommates though?
00:04:28.020 Yeah, but that's a contractual agreement.
00:04:29.900 Like being in a relationship, like the only way that I would do that is if I was like married or like we were working towards marriage.
00:04:36.060 I wouldn't just have my livelihood be intertwined with someone who wasn't my husband or going to be my husband.
00:04:42.000 Okay.
00:04:42.720 What about you?
00:04:43.460 So I definitely think it's easier when you pair up with someone in terms of like staying with them and stuff, because it is really expensive nowadays in London, especially I'm from London.
00:04:54.860 So I don't necessarily think that for me at my age, I'd want to pair up with like a man per se, but family, like roommates, friends, et cetera, I would definitely like be down for it because the living costs are really bad at the moment.
00:05:08.920 Like it's, and the income's not rising with it.
00:05:11.540 So it's just, it's not really making much sense, but yeah, this is just not there.
00:05:16.420 Um, but yeah, I'd definitely be open for it.
00:05:19.420 But I also think as well that just for people that are like aware of the conditions, just really trying to figure out how you can bring in more income at this point, because I just don't think like a job really can sustain people.
00:05:31.460 But, or just one job, yeah, one income now is just not going to sustain people.
00:05:38.360 I'm just not going to lie.
00:05:39.560 Okay.
00:05:39.960 What about you?
00:05:40.760 Um, for me personally, I have family, I have my dad, I have uncles, I have family, but what I will say is down to money management and being aware of your income.
00:05:51.020 Um, what you can spend, what you have to expend with the cost of living, like for me, I have a spreadsheet so I can see how much things have gone up.
00:05:59.520 So that means I can restrict, I've always lived by myself, I've never had roommates, I don't have roommates now.
00:06:05.020 So, you know, not everyone is fortunate enough to have family, um, to rely on a man who is not your long term partner, that's risky, risky.
00:06:14.720 And if it goes sour, you still end up, he could be your long term partner, he could make it work.
00:06:21.720 What if it goes right?
00:06:23.720 No, no, no, it goes right, but I'm saying like, if you're just moving in from living by yourself or living with friends to live with a guy to rely on him for rent or whatever, that's kind of...
00:06:33.720 Isn't this how relationships used to be?
00:06:36.720 Families, men and women used to get together and rely on each other to build a family, build a household, potentially build a stable enough environment.
00:06:44.720 to have kids in.
00:06:45.720 Like, I don't understand how we've moved so far left from that, that you would rather be homeless on the streets, you would rather rely on people to live with you that you don't actually know they could move out with their boyfriend at any time.
00:06:57.720 I do know them for sure, but...
00:06:59.720 It's like, I think it sounds more like everybody's scared to toe the line.
00:07:03.720 I mean, I don't, I'm going to push back on that because like, okay, how things used to be.
00:07:07.720 Yeah, people used to also be in extremely toxic situations.
00:07:10.720 Like we're all, so this generation, we're all, half of us are children of divorce or relationships that should have been, or should be divorced.
00:07:18.720 So I think with having that awareness of like, what could go wrong, living what could go wrong.
00:07:24.720 Yeah.
00:07:25.720 We're going to be so much more, we're going to...
00:07:27.720 That's living in fear though.
00:07:28.720 Yeah.
00:07:29.720 I don't think that's fear.
00:07:30.720 I think that's being smart.
00:07:31.720 Do you know what, do you know what the shift came from?
00:07:32.720 The shift came from after like the second world war, right?
00:07:35.720 Before the second world war that everybody had like this sense of duty, a sense of community, a sense of responsibility.
00:07:40.720 As soon as the war was done, everybody was like, we're liberated, we're free, we won.
00:07:43.720 Go out and chase your dreams, be happy, do whatever you want to do.
00:07:46.720 Two generations later, you got people chasing happiness that don't even know what makes them happy.
00:07:50.720 And now we have no sense of community, no sense of togetherness.
00:07:53.720 And this is kind of why we're in this situation now where we're afraid to just realize that we all kind of need each other.
00:07:58.720 I disagree with that.
00:07:59.720 I disagree with that.
00:08:00.720 Okay.
00:08:01.720 Why do you disagree?
00:08:02.720 Because we can still have a sense of...
00:08:03.720 Having a sense of community isn't contingent upon having a romantic partner.
00:08:06.720 Well, okay, so...
00:08:07.720 Those two things are not like...
00:08:08.720 No, but that's where your community starts because that's where your home starts.
00:08:11.720 A romantic relationship is where your home starts.
00:08:14.720 So, okay, so if you have...
00:08:15.720 Okay, I have a question.
00:08:16.720 I have a question.
00:08:17.720 What would you rather have at 60?
00:08:19.720 A husband, a roommate, or live with your parents?
00:08:22.720 Well, obviously, I would rather have...
00:08:24.720 This is real.
00:08:25.720 I mean, obviously, I'd rather have a partner like my husband.
00:08:29.720 However, that doesn't mean that I'm willing to sacrifice.
00:08:33.720 I mean...
00:08:34.720 You must live in a nice house, boy, because she's like, I ain't sacrificing none of this.
00:08:37.720 I mean, I do.
00:08:38.720 I do.
00:08:39.720 I do pretty well for myself.
00:08:40.720 I'll be on it.
00:08:41.720 She'd be like this list.
00:08:42.720 Yeah, but I'm not...
00:08:44.720 I mean, but I...
00:08:45.720 Yeah, maybe that is my privilege.
00:08:47.720 Maybe I should check my privilege that I haven't...
00:08:50.720 Yeah, I've been very fortunate.
00:08:52.720 I have a really good job.
00:08:53.720 I'm a content creator.
00:08:54.720 I make extra money on the side as well.
00:08:56.720 So like, I can't fathom a possibility of my life going that way.
00:09:02.720 And so I think it is because of that privilege that that will shape my perspective.
00:09:07.720 So maybe I should take a step back.
00:09:09.720 I have a question.
00:09:11.720 Out of everyone here, who has six months of expenses covered if you were to lose your job tomorrow?
00:09:17.720 So you do?
00:09:18.720 Uh-huh.
00:09:19.720 Six.
00:09:20.720 Okay.
00:09:21.720 That's it.
00:09:22.720 Not half.
00:09:23.720 No, no, no.
00:09:24.720 So one.
00:09:25.720 Wait.
00:09:26.720 Raise them high.
00:09:27.720 Raise them high.
00:09:28.720 So one, two, three, four, five.
00:09:29.720 That's decent.
00:09:30.720 Half.
00:09:31.720 That's like more than I thought like we would have.
00:09:32.720 What's standard of living though?
00:09:33.720 Because I'm going to have to cut all the way back by month six.
00:09:36.720 Boy, I'll be eating beans out of the table.
00:09:38.720 Whatever your standard of living is now.
00:09:41.720 Oh, yeah.
00:09:42.720 I can sustain myself.
00:09:43.720 Beans are still good.
00:09:44.720 So have you guys had to make any changes to your spending habits in the past six months?
00:09:51.720 Yes.
00:09:52.720 Definitely.
00:09:53.720 Not really.
00:09:54.720 Yeah.
00:09:55.720 Less takeaway.
00:09:56.720 Less takeaway.
00:09:57.720 Less takeaway.
00:09:58.720 Man is cooking in the yard now.
00:10:01.720 I mean, I am a bit more cautious.
00:10:03.720 Look sad.
00:10:04.720 What I spend.
00:10:07.720 And has your job industry or job prospects changed drastically since 2022?
00:10:13.720 Or in 2022?
00:10:14.720 Anyone?
00:10:15.720 Yeah.
00:10:16.720 Well, I'm a tattooist by trade.
00:10:18.720 So my clientele fluctuates throughout the year.
00:10:22.720 Obviously summertime.
00:10:23.720 Preparing for summertime.
00:10:24.720 Everybody wants to, you know, get their tattoos done.
00:10:26.720 But then times like now coming into winter, you know, they have more different obligations
00:10:31.720 and different avenues for their finances to go down.
00:10:34.720 So yeah, this is that winter time.
00:10:36.720 It's my time to chill out.
00:10:37.720 Hence why I've spent so much time with my other projects.
00:10:40.720 So yeah, I think everybody's feeling like that right at the moment.
00:10:44.720 Anyone else?
00:10:45.720 Anyone?
00:10:46.720 Well, I mean, what?
00:10:47.720 Like, have you guys had layoffs at your companies?
00:10:49.720 I've had layoffs.
00:10:50.720 At your company.
00:10:51.720 What do you work as?
00:10:52.720 You said a content creator?
00:10:53.720 Well, that's like on the side.
00:10:54.720 This is on the side.
00:10:55.720 I work in the tech industry.
00:10:57.720 So I'm a management consultant.
00:10:58.720 Oh, okay.
00:10:59.720 So tech, it's been hit hard in tech.
00:11:01.720 Yeah.
00:11:02.720 Yeah.
00:11:03.720 And then I have friends who are friends who are at Amazon or friends who are at Twitter.
00:11:06.720 None of my, thank God so far, none of my friends have been laid off.
00:11:10.720 But I have a lot of people like that are all, most of my immediate circle are in the tech industry as well.
00:11:16.720 So it's a tough topic.
00:11:18.720 Yeah.
00:11:19.720 It's not affected the entertainment industry for me anyway.
00:11:22.720 There's still films being made.
00:11:24.720 So it's about whether you get a job as an actor or not.
00:11:27.720 So it's even more auditions now.
00:11:29.720 Yeah.
00:11:30.720 I feel like it's allowed people to like think smarter into their like investment choices.
00:11:34.720 So obviously before I would work and spend money and just buy useless stuff.
00:11:40.720 Yeah.
00:11:41.720 Like, oh, I want the new iPhone that's coming out this year.
00:11:43.720 So I'll get it.
00:11:44.720 And then obviously when you get hit by something such as like the cost of living crisis or a pandemic,
00:11:49.720 it allows you to think, okay, how can I think smarter and make money that will generate wealth and do certain things.
00:11:56.720 So for me, I've looked into stocks and trading ISAs and kind of trading and doing stuff like that.
00:12:02.720 That will, I can put my wealth into something and then flip it and generate more and then keep on doing it.
00:12:08.720 So some things it's not immediate.
00:12:11.720 You know, sometimes people invest things into things that will get them immediate gratification.
00:12:15.720 Sometimes it doesn't work like that.
00:12:16.720 But in 10 years, I can say, wow, I've managed to put a certain amount of money, no matter how much it is and flip it.
00:12:23.720 And in 10 years time, I can look into that and be like, wow, at least I invested.
00:12:27.720 And now I can do something else, generate and like work in something like property or whatever it is.
00:12:33.720 I can invest that into something else and flip that.
00:12:36.720 And I think that's really important.
00:12:37.720 Like with my generation, especially, is material objects, they're not going to last forever.
00:12:44.720 You can have the newest Louis pouch, but if you don't know how to invest and kind of invest into your future, sometimes it won't last.
00:12:51.720 Sometimes you might be really lucky and manage to do everything.
00:12:54.720 But I feel like sometimes you have to look at things in a bigger picture when you're younger and it will help you manage to do it when you're older.
00:13:02.720 And then you if you look at past examples made by family members or something, like listen to your family members, because whatever they're telling you, you might think at the time, oh, they're talking like whatever.
00:13:15.720 But then when you look at back in 10 years time, you'll be like, wow, my family really tried to set me up for generational wealth and tried to really help me get money opportunities because they can see things that you won't even see happening.
00:13:26.720 Yeah. And I think that's really important.
00:13:32.720 My family were the ones that taught me about generational wealth and just being invest well and invest in things that will make you profit and help you in the future.
00:13:41.720 So maybe not right now, but in the future, that will definitely be an investment that I'll look back on and be like, I did that.
00:13:47.720 I feel like you're really fortunate to have family members who were able to guide you in that sense, because I feel like a lot of parents not necessarily know how to guide their children in the modern world today, especially with everything rising and just this different environment nowadays.
00:14:05.720 And I agree that now for me personally, I'm much more cautious when it comes to what I'm spending my money on now.
00:14:12.720 And obviously I work a part time job, but I'm just the same opinion there where it's like you might want to get that thing or spend it on that expensive shoe or whatever it is that interests you material, materialistic things really.
00:14:24.720 I'm much more like sensible now. I'm thinking, okay, I can spend my money on that, but maybe the budget and thing that you were saying, like dividing it to a sense where it's like, okay, I'm going to put that for that and put this down for investing in my future, investing in myself in whatever form that is.
00:14:39.720 Like you said cryptos and stocks and stuff, it could be investing in your business, whatever it is, like, even if you want to be like on social media, content creation, whatever, investing in that, just in yourself and whatever you want to do and set yourself up for where you see yourself in the future, just so that when you're at a particular, obviously I'm quite young, but when you're at a particular age, you don't really want to be struggling how people are struggling.
00:15:02.720 Do you know what I mean? Like, or if you've got parents as well that struggled to like raise you and stuff, like you don't want to repeat that in your family or in your, in your generation or whatever.
00:15:11.720 So you're trying to like work 10 times harder to make sure that you don't repeat just family curses to a degree.
00:15:18.720 Do you know what I mean? I feel like it's much more prominent now for people to be cautious of, not everyone, but there are like, probably in my circle, just a large amount of people who are very cautious of that and thinking ahead and thinking in the future, which I think is,
00:15:31.720 very important, extremely important to do. So if you're young, it's like, for me, I think it's the best years for you to even think about your future.
00:15:39.720 Like you shouldn't really be wasting it on that things that are just going to go. Do you know what I mean? Like sustained, sustain, make sustained decisions.
00:15:47.720 Don't buy Balenciaga. Don't buy Balenciaga.
00:15:52.720 Yes, louder.
00:15:54.720 But also I feel like, would you, sorry. No, go ahead. Oh, would you argue that like, things such as COVID and everything played a factor in your mindset now and how you think?
00:16:04.720 Obviously, because COVID, obviously, loads of people would have been made like redundant, would have been laid off.
00:16:09.720 And obviously, it made you think sometimes about your mindset and it allowed people to like, be like, wow, okay, so I can't work at this current time or furlough and everything.
00:16:18.720 Yeah. So how will I cover the difference that I'm losing?
00:16:21.720 I think, for me, it's more of a personal reason as to why I'm like, ambitious and motivated and just dedicated to making those changes for myself.
00:16:29.720 But I agree with the COVID situation. Like, I was one of those people who was a victim of it.
00:16:34.720 Like, I lost my job. I had a certain amount of money that I was just having to live off.
00:16:38.720 And it's like, it's just deducting, deducting, and there's no more gains, because obviously I lost my job and I was one of those people.
00:16:44.720 So I guess it's like, to a degree, that could have impacted my mindset and I started to believe that, okay, anyhow, you could just lose your job nowadays.
00:16:53.720 And then what are you going to do? Do you know what I mean?
00:16:55.720 Would you say you're extremely frugal now?
00:16:58.720 What do you mean by frugal?
00:16:59.720 Like that means not spending a lot of money.
00:17:01.720 Right now, yeah, I'd say so. I'm very cautious of what I spend nowadays, to be completely honest with you.
00:17:07.720 Well, how do you have your nails done then?
00:17:09.720 No, but like I said, like I said.
00:17:12.720 No, no, like I said, I paid off someone.
00:17:17.720 That weren't her money.
00:17:19.720 Just to put it out there, like, it was literally my birthday.
00:17:24.720 Girl, it was two weeks, right?
00:17:26.720 It's not really a-
00:17:27.720 Get your nails done.
00:17:28.720 If you want to get your nails done.
00:17:30.720 Even if it wasn't my birthday, really, it's like-
00:17:32.720 It doesn't matter.
00:17:33.720 If I want to put money aside-
00:17:34.720 That is an investment in you, girl.
00:17:36.720 Of course.
00:17:37.720 I have nothing against women getting their nails done.
00:17:39.720 It just didn't sound like what you were saying.
00:17:41.720 Yeah, yeah.
00:17:42.720 I hear your point, but it's like, at the end of the day, you can put money down for certain things that you like to enjoy.
00:17:46.720 I'm not going to restrict myself and be living a certain way.
00:17:49.720 Just, you know what I mean?
00:17:50.720 Like, you put your money down for that.
00:17:51.720 You also put your money down for that.
00:17:53.720 And that's fine.
00:17:54.720 Obviously, for my birthday, I do like to look nice.
00:17:56.720 Spend money on my appearance.
00:17:57.720 I'm a woman at the end of the day.
00:17:58.720 Like, appearance is a very important thing.
00:18:00.720 So, it's just as simple as that.
00:18:02.720 Okay.
00:18:03.720 Question?
00:18:04.720 Question?
00:18:05.720 I'm just going to say, to add to what everybody said here.
00:18:08.720 What I would say is, one, as I said before, do a spreadsheet.
00:18:11.720 Set yourself goals that you want to achieve.
00:18:13.720 Don't watch anyone.
00:18:14.720 Just do what you're doing.
00:18:16.720 Be resilient.
00:18:17.720 Yeah.
00:18:18.720 Because life is hard.
00:18:19.720 It's not easy.
00:18:20.720 Sometimes, you have to have setbacks.
00:18:22.720 You have to lose money.
00:18:23.720 If you're going to sit and say, I've never lost money.
00:18:25.720 I've lost money.
00:18:26.720 I've been broke.
00:18:27.720 It's part of the process.
00:18:28.720 Appreciate it.
00:18:29.720 It allows you to have gratitude for your situation.
00:18:32.720 And appreciate the present.
00:18:34.720 Yeah.
00:18:35.720 Looking at the future is always good.
00:18:36.720 And it's the right thing to do.
00:18:38.720 But also, look at the present.
00:18:41.720 Appreciate it.
00:18:42.720 Absorb it.
00:18:43.720 And allow it to just, you know, give you a bit of time to reflect.
00:18:48.720 And then go forward from that.
00:18:49.720 But set yourself goals.
00:18:50.720 So, if you know your money is getting stripped back, you can say, okay, if I save five pound
00:18:54.720 here, five pound there, in the future, I actually have more money to spend on things that I like.
00:19:00.720 Mm-hmm.
00:19:01.720 You know?
00:19:02.720 So, question for the girl.
00:19:04.720 So, you're 29.
00:19:06.720 I don't, sorry.
00:19:07.720 How old did you guys say you are?
00:19:08.720 You're?
00:19:09.720 I'm 19.
00:19:10.720 Oh, wow.
00:19:11.720 You're very young.
00:19:12.720 26.
00:19:13.720 26.
00:19:14.720 26.
00:19:15.720 Okay.
00:19:16.720 So, I know you guys said right now you wouldn't, you'd rather live with roommates than a man.
00:19:21.720 Right?
00:19:22.720 That's not what I'm saying.
00:19:23.720 No.
00:19:24.720 I live by myself.
00:19:25.720 I would rather live with roommates to be honest.
00:19:26.720 What?
00:19:27.720 Is the way that you phrased the question, you were asking us like how, like where would we
00:19:29.720 have to be in our lives to be reliant on a man and his income?
00:19:33.720 Mm-hmm.
00:19:34.720 And I think phrasing it that way like.
00:19:35.720 Okay.
00:19:36.720 Okay.
00:19:37.720 Fine.
00:19:38.720 Fine.
00:19:39.720 Fine.
00:19:40.720 Fine.
00:19:41.720 But like when there's a recession, if you had to make a choice, right?
00:19:42.720 Uh-huh.
00:19:43.720 If your income was getting slim, you would pick family over a man.
00:19:45.720 Yeah.
00:19:46.720 Right?
00:19:47.720 I have the option to do that.
00:19:48.720 So, yeah.
00:19:49.720 I have the option to do that.
00:19:51.720 So, yeah.
00:19:52.720 If I was in a relationship, that's different, but I have the option.
00:19:56.720 Okay.
00:19:57.720 So, let's say like you lose your job tomorrow and you have to think I either have to move
00:20:00.720 home or I have to get into a relationship.
00:20:02.720 Right?
00:20:03.720 Right now.
00:20:04.720 Right now.
00:20:05.720 Right now.
00:20:06.720 Right now you would pick moving home or moving in with a roommate.
00:20:10.720 That's what you guys said earlier.
00:20:12.720 I would suggest that to be fair.
00:20:14.720 If you had no income coming in, moving in with a guy, you don't really know what his real
00:20:19.720 financial circumstance is and you might become a bit of a burden and that might actually crash
00:20:23.720 the relationship.
00:20:24.720 Yeah.
00:20:25.720 I'm not.
00:20:26.720 I'm not.
00:20:27.720 I'm just asking.
00:20:28.720 Yeah.
00:20:29.720 Home for us.
00:20:30.720 I'm not responding to this question.
00:20:32.720 My question is would that change if you were older?
00:20:36.720 If I was older.
00:20:37.720 Like if this happened at 32, 33, 34, 35, would you ever start prioritizing relationships
00:20:44.720 over like moving home or moving in with roommates?
00:20:48.720 Me personally, no.
00:20:49.720 Like I don't view really or I don't even get into relationships where money is a main proponent
00:20:56.720 of that.
00:20:57.720 Like I, it's nice if we can go out on like dates and we go out to eat and we're going, we're
00:21:02.720 having a great time and things like that.
00:21:04.720 But I'm also fine with like picnics in the car and it's just cheese and crackers.
00:21:08.720 Like, you know, like, like it doesn't always have to be.
00:21:11.720 Well, I'm not even talking about dates.
00:21:12.720 I was talking about rent.
00:21:13.720 Yeah.
00:21:14.720 Like you're in a situation, your rent needs to cut in half.
00:21:20.720 You either find a man or you go home.
00:21:22.720 Right.
00:21:23.720 Exactly.
00:21:24.720 So I'm just trying to put it together.
00:21:25.720 Like there's just no situation where like, even when I'm making money where I'm going
00:21:29.720 to be financially reliant on a man, I'm definitely not going to do it when I'm, when I'm not.
00:21:33.720 I personally, I would go with my family.
00:21:35.720 Do you want kids?
00:21:36.720 No.
00:21:37.720 Oh, you don't want kids.
00:21:38.720 Okay.
00:21:39.720 Well then fair enough.
00:21:40.720 Then you don't need it.
00:21:41.720 Yeah.
00:21:42.720 Yeah.
00:21:43.720 I mean, I feel like, cause even you asked earlier, like, how, how do I feel about being
00:21:48.720 60 years old?
00:21:49.720 Do I have a man or do I have a roommate?
00:21:51.720 I mean, being 60 and having a roommate, we're just out here, you know, pushing little kids,
00:21:55.720 hitting people with our canes.
00:21:56.720 Like that sounds like a good time.
00:21:57.720 You can say that.
00:21:58.720 No.
00:21:59.720 It's not a good time.
00:22:02.720 Can I just say something about that?
00:22:07.720 I'm just curious.
00:22:08.720 Have you always felt like that?
00:22:10.720 Um, you know, different relationships have shown me different things.
00:22:13.720 So I have been in relationships with men where I was like, okay, I could have children with
00:22:17.720 you.
00:22:18.720 I can see us moving in that direction.
00:22:19.720 I can see us getting married.
00:22:20.720 I can see us owning the house.
00:22:21.720 I can see us reproducing and like creating a legacy that way.
00:22:26.720 Um, but it's not in every relationship.
00:22:30.720 And even now that I'm single, like I'm, I'm definitely not pursuing that.
00:22:33.720 Okay.
00:22:34.720 But for, it sounds like for the right guy, you still would.
00:22:36.720 Yeah.
00:22:37.720 Yeah.
00:22:38.720 Yeah.
00:22:39.720 Like your intentions changed before you met someone.
00:22:42.720 So like, did you think, Oh, I'd never want to have kids before I met someone.
00:22:46.720 And then you got in a relationship and you're like, actually, maybe I would change my mindset.
00:22:50.720 Or was it always, I'll never have kids in relationship.
00:22:53.720 You're like, I'll never have kids.
00:22:54.720 And it got to like a certain point.
00:22:56.720 And you're like, actually.
00:22:57.720 So it was more so like, I don't know.
00:23:02.720 I don't know how to get into this without saying like, I have, both of our families are pretty large, right?
00:23:07.720 All together.
00:23:08.720 There's 10 grandchildren.
00:23:09.720 Right.
00:23:10.720 And so we grew up in a, like, yeah, summers at grandma's house were always super fun.
00:23:14.720 And, um, seeing sort of like the effect that our parents had on us and like on our other cousins and things like that.
00:23:21.720 It was just kind of like, I don't want to have that effect on people.
00:23:23.720 Um, and so when I got into a relationship and I was like, Oh, if we got together and we were taking care of kids, we wouldn't have that effect on people.
00:23:30.720 We could actually build like a very like beautiful, prosperous, like family.
00:23:35.720 Like I was like, Oh, okay.
00:23:36.720 Okay. I can see myself doing that.
00:23:37.720 But otherwise it's just kind of like, I can see us recreating, like you were saying before generational trauma.
00:23:42.720 Like I can see us recreating a generational trauma.
00:23:44.720 And that's not something I want to do.
00:23:45.720 That's a negative way to look in life.
00:23:47.720 Yeah.
00:23:48.720 Yeah.
00:23:49.720 Can I ask a quick question?
00:23:50.720 No, no, no.
00:23:51.720 You're looking at the worst case scenario.
00:23:54.720 But did you say, um, yeah.
00:23:56.720 Did you say you were from-
00:23:57.720 Life is not full of rainbows and sunshines.
00:24:00.720 Absolutely.
00:24:01.720 Like it's not going to be like all good all the time and all bad all the time.
00:24:04.720 You're going to have to have a balance of both.
00:24:06.720 Yeah.
00:24:07.720 So to just look at the wrong that's happened to you, it's like-
00:24:11.720 But did you say you were from a family that like, I'm not sure if you said your parents were still together or-
00:24:16.720 My parents are still together, yeah.
00:24:17.720 Still together.
00:24:18.720 My parents are divorced.
00:24:19.720 Yeah.
00:24:20.720 And there's-
00:24:21.720 So my-
00:24:22.720 My mom is her brother.
00:24:23.720 Her brother?
00:24:24.720 Sister.
00:24:25.720 That's so funny.
00:24:26.720 Yeah.
00:24:27.720 So, yeah.
00:24:28.720 But there's only two of them.
00:24:29.720 So two people made 10 grandchildren.
00:24:31.720 Yeah.
00:24:32.720 No, that's surprising.
00:24:33.720 Yeah.
00:24:34.720 Obviously it was the whole, what you said, I would have expected it to be the opposite.
00:24:39.720 Obviously where you said that you come from, your parents are still together.
00:24:43.720 I would have expected the opposite where you would have said, you would have, you would have want children because obviously from what your parents, you've got two large families.
00:24:50.720 And when it comes to like, comes to festive events, you're all together.
00:24:54.720 That's why I was surprised when you said, that's why I asked the question.
00:24:56.720 It's like the opposite.
00:24:57.720 Yeah.
00:24:58.720 I'm the one who wants kids.
00:24:59.720 Yeah.
00:25:00.720 It's funny to see like obviously generational like children.
00:25:03.720 Everyone experiences it differently.
00:25:05.720 Yeah.
00:25:06.720 I hear this question.
00:25:07.720 I've heard it on your podcast before.
00:25:09.720 But nobody's ever like mentioned the fact that the process of having kids is like having kids, raising children, the best of your ability, you know, without obviously going too far afield and fucking it all up.
00:25:21.720 I'm scared.
00:25:22.720 And then you get old and your children look after you.
00:25:25.720 Like what happens when you get old with no kids?
00:25:27.720 Who's going to look after you?
00:25:28.720 I think this brings up a good point that we were making before.
00:25:32.720 You mentioned community and you were talking about how you would like your partner to help you build your community with you.
00:25:37.720 And I assume like you're you and your partner have kids and that creates your community.
00:25:42.720 Me personally, like I, I build my community with like my church when I'm going out to friends.
00:25:47.720 I go to like a chess club, like even like my work friends and things like that.
00:25:51.720 Like those people are my, my main community and I'm not necessarily expecting them to like be by my bedside feeding me porridge when I'm, you know, I can't feed myself.
00:26:00.720 But they might come to you.
00:26:01.720 I'm sorry.
00:26:02.720 I have a question.
00:26:03.720 I have a question.
00:26:04.720 I have a question.
00:26:05.720 You said, so your church community, that's where you'd find like that sense of community when you're old.
00:26:12.720 Interesting.
00:26:13.720 Um, currently right now, I'm still like looking for churches that align with how I personally experienced Christianity.
00:26:22.720 But yes, like I'm looking for a church that would allow me to do that.
00:26:25.720 That would allow me to like rely on people, work with people.
00:26:28.720 If I needed food and I'm 60 and I, or, I mean, 60 is kind of young.
00:26:32.720 Yeah.
00:26:33.720 Like I'm 80 and I can't afford it.
00:26:36.720 Do you think that's realistic to expect a church to take care of you when you're old?
00:26:40.720 This is what I'm saying.
00:26:41.720 I'm looking for the right church and I'm looking for the right community.
00:26:43.720 Like I'm still, I don't necessarily have my decrepit 80 year old community yet, but that's what I'm building.
00:26:50.720 I'm building it.
00:26:51.720 I'm building it in the process.
00:26:52.720 Also, she has a sizable family.
00:26:54.720 Like I will have children.
00:26:55.720 My brother will have children.
00:26:57.720 Yeah, her kids can take care of me.
00:26:59.720 But are you honestly going to be like, sorry, but are you honestly going to be as happy as you think that, let's say you're 60 or 75.
00:27:08.720 Do you honestly believe you're going to be as happy?
00:27:11.720 Let's say for example, you have children and those children that let's say you're 75 years old, you know, let's say for example, your husband ain't there.
00:27:18.720 But you have your children who are going to look after you.
00:27:20.720 They're going to come.
00:27:21.720 And if you need some shopping, they're going to come and shop for you and all of that shit.
00:27:25.720 The only thing you don't want that at 75, because like, let me keep it real with you.
00:27:31.720 At 75, mandem out there, you know the mandem you're looking at right now?
00:27:36.720 They're not going to look at you when you're 75.
00:27:38.720 I'm sorry, they're going to stop looking at you when you're 50, maybe even 40.
00:27:42.720 Right.
00:27:43.720 Put it at 35, you feel me?
00:27:44.720 I'm sorry.
00:27:45.720 I don't hear you.
00:27:46.720 But like, do you honestly believe, like keep in mind, from like 30, is that someone's phone?
00:27:52.720 Sorry, his phone was going off.
00:27:53.720 Sorry, I'm going on a bit of a rant, but like, do you honestly-
00:27:55.720 Whoever's phone that is, step off camera and turn it off.
00:27:58.720 We said to turn the phones off before the show, but go ahead.
00:28:01.720 I don't know who's phone that is.
00:28:02.720 You sound like a weird Mario game.
00:28:03.720 Yeah.
00:28:04.720 Yeah.
00:28:05.720 Mad take.
00:28:06.720 But like, honestly, do you-
00:28:07.720 The girl's in there.
00:28:08.720 Yeah.
00:28:09.720 Okay.
00:28:10.720 I don't know whose it was.
00:28:11.720 Okay.
00:28:12.720 Okay, go ahead.
00:28:13.720 Go ahead.
00:28:14.720 Sorry.
00:28:15.720 But do you honestly believe, like, after the age of 35, like, keep in mind, women in general,
00:28:21.720 they look for a certain type of man.
00:28:22.720 You feel me?
00:28:23.720 Like-
00:28:24.720 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok.
00:28:27.720 And we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
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