JustPearlyThings - May 13, 2023


On How Entitled She is


Episode Stats

Length

10 minutes

Words per Minute

231.25768

Word Count

2,513

Sentence Count

328


Summary

In this episode, we talk about how to deal with a man who is tall, how tall is too tall, and how tall should you be? We also talk about a woman who accused her ex-boyfriend of being a bully and how she handled it.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 How tall was your last boyfriend?
00:00:02.000 Um, 6'1".
00:00:04.000 Okay, what percent of men do you think are 6'1"?
00:00:08.000 Maybe like...
00:00:10.000 30%?
00:00:12.000 10%
00:00:14.000 10%
00:00:15.000 So, you at a top, how much money did he make?
00:00:18.000 Well, he had his own houses and a business, he sells cars.
00:00:21.000 Okay, so roughly, how much do you think he made?
00:00:25.000 I didn't...
00:00:26.000 She don't know that.
00:00:27.000 Yeah, I'm one to...
00:00:28.000 The man ain't telling you that.
00:00:29.000 Yeah.
00:00:30.000 But he owned a house.
00:00:31.000 I know about his business and, you know, and things like that, but I don't know the figures.
00:00:34.000 So he owned a house in London?
00:00:35.000 In Essex.
00:00:36.000 Oh, in Essex, okay.
00:00:37.000 Okay, so if he owned a house, he probably made at least like 60, 70, I guess.
00:00:42.000 Who knows, he had a nice range.
00:00:43.000 Okay, so he's probably...
00:00:45.000 I'm guessing, right?
00:00:46.000 I don't actually know.
00:00:47.000 You guys would know London prices more than me.
00:00:49.000 But he's probably still top 20% of income.
00:00:51.000 Probably, because buying a house in Essex is cheap.
00:00:54.000 Yeah.
00:00:55.000 Okay, so top 20%.
00:00:56.000 So you had a guy, top 10% height, top 20% income.
00:01:00.000 Was he attractive?
00:01:01.000 Was he good looking?
00:01:02.000 Yeah, he was, yeah.
00:01:03.000 So in women, so you know women, we find 80% of men is ugly.
00:01:07.000 So if you find him attractive, that means he's top 20%.
00:01:10.000 Right.
00:01:11.000 Call him.
00:01:12.000 Is he still single?
00:01:13.000 No, he's been trying to holler at me, to be honest.
00:01:14.000 I'd have to block him.
00:01:16.000 So what?
00:01:17.000 Why are you not...
00:01:18.000 He's not the one for me.
00:01:19.000 What is the one?
00:01:20.000 So it seems like he has a good job.
00:01:22.000 He's not the one for me.
00:01:23.000 Attractive and tall.
00:01:24.000 It doesn't matter.
00:01:25.000 I think that's the daddy issue there.
00:01:26.000 No, no, no, it's not.
00:01:27.000 I'm very smart, trust me.
00:01:28.000 Like, he was wearing a mask when we first met.
00:01:31.000 And then his true colors came out.
00:01:32.000 And I saw in certain behaviors that he was portraying.
00:01:35.000 What true colors?
00:01:36.000 So like, you know, he was very aggressive sometimes.
00:01:39.000 And I felt like his moral...
00:01:41.000 What do you mean aggressive?
00:01:42.000 Did he hit you?
00:01:43.000 No, he didn't hit me, no.
00:01:45.000 Okay, so he didn't hit you.
00:01:46.000 Well, he pushed me.
00:01:47.000 He shoved me very hard.
00:01:48.000 And it was for a very pathetic reason.
00:01:50.000 And he's a liar.
00:01:51.000 Did you shove him at all?
00:01:52.000 No.
00:01:53.000 No, I don't like to be aggressive.
00:01:54.000 I don't believe in that shit no more.
00:01:56.000 I've grown up, you know?
00:01:57.000 Okay, so he shoved you one time and then you died.
00:01:59.000 Yeah, and it was petty and he lied at the time as well.
00:02:01.000 And I knew he was lying about picking up his kids when he wasn't...
00:02:05.000 He changed his story.
00:02:06.000 Like, I'm very observant when people speak.
00:02:08.000 He lied about picking up his kids?
00:02:09.000 So I spent a couple days with him and I was supposed to say the last day
00:02:12.000 and then all of a sudden he's got to go and pick up his kids.
00:02:14.000 But you're lying.
00:02:15.000 And so it's like, you're making me feel like you don't want me to stay anymore.
00:02:19.000 Okay.
00:02:20.000 And then that happened.
00:02:21.000 Then we broke up and now he wants me back.
00:02:23.000 How do you know he wasn't picking up his kids?
00:02:25.000 I know he wasn't because his story changed.
00:02:26.000 He told me something.
00:02:27.000 We planned something from the get-go.
00:02:29.000 So you don't have no physical evidence of that?
00:02:32.000 I do.
00:02:33.000 I do.
00:02:34.000 I do.
00:02:35.000 It's very technical.
00:02:36.000 You'd think I'm crazy if I go into it right now.
00:02:38.000 So how did the shoving happen?
00:02:40.000 Like, what led up to that?
00:02:41.000 Because he wanted me to leave.
00:02:42.000 Okay, so you...
00:02:43.000 Literally, and he tried to drag me for real for real.
00:02:46.000 Okay, wait, so were you refusing to leave?
00:02:48.000 Yeah.
00:02:49.000 Because I was in my feelings.
00:02:50.000 Because I knew he was lying.
00:02:51.000 Like, come on, I don't...
00:02:52.000 Okay, okay.
00:02:53.000 But you kind of, you kind of framed this.
00:02:55.000 Yeah.
00:02:56.000 It's embarrassing.
00:02:57.000 Yeah.
00:02:58.000 Why do, why do a lot of women, they like, they accuse a man of being like the bad guy,
00:03:01.000 the guy that hurts them, the guy that beats them.
00:03:03.000 But then the reason they, like, they made, they caused the reason.
00:03:06.000 Because if you physically don't move in certain spaces, a police...
00:03:09.000 No, sorry.
00:03:10.000 It's the way, it's the way you speak to someone.
00:03:12.000 It's the way you conduct yourself in that situation.
00:03:14.000 Okay, but if you're in, this has happened to me before.
00:03:16.000 I've been...
00:03:17.000 Esther.
00:03:18.000 Um...
00:03:19.000 You know, you know.
00:03:20.000 Um, no, there was a girl here and I asked her to leave and she didn't like the way I
00:03:25.000 asked her to leave.
00:03:26.000 Right.
00:03:27.000 She was just yelling at me.
00:03:28.000 Um, and then, um, well, we didn't have security then, but my security would have just picked
00:03:32.000 her up and taken her out.
00:03:34.000 But then it's like, the way you're saying this, it's like, what other options do you have?
00:03:37.000 I wouldn't have done that.
00:03:38.000 How do you say that?
00:03:39.000 See, this is the thing, I wouldn't have done that.
00:03:40.000 But when it's an emotional, sexual connection, you've got other feelings.
00:03:43.000 Like, you feel rejection, you feel like you're being violated.
00:03:45.000 It just feels...
00:03:46.000 It's kind of different.
00:03:47.000 You're kind of...
00:03:48.000 So, you're kind of making yourself...
00:03:49.000 So, basically, like, you were kind of overbearing because you thought he did something and
00:03:54.000 you had no proof he did it.
00:03:55.000 No, I did because he said...
00:03:57.000 He changed his story and...
00:03:58.000 Okay, but you've never said two things that contradicted yourself ever.
00:04:02.000 I have.
00:04:03.000 I just don't...
00:04:04.000 It just happens when you talk.
00:04:05.000 But, you know, it's very easy to say the wrong thing if you've been cross-examined.
00:04:10.000 Because you know what?
00:04:11.000 When you say earlier on where men are analysing women and women are analysing men, he's looking
00:04:16.000 at you like, rah, so you're going to argue against me picking up my kids.
00:04:19.000 But I knew he wasn't.
00:04:20.000 This thing is different.
00:04:21.000 It don't matter whether you know he's not or it is, yeah?
00:04:23.000 In his head, rah, hold on.
00:04:26.000 I'm telling you something about my kids and you're arguing against my kids.
00:04:29.000 To him, the kids are the main priority.
00:04:32.000 But even so...
00:04:33.000 Does he have a right to privacy?
00:04:35.000 Of course.
00:04:36.000 Absolutely.
00:04:37.000 I'm not a possessive person.
00:04:38.000 Maybe there is something that he just didn't want you to know.
00:04:40.000 Maybe he was private with the mud.
00:04:41.000 Like, you know, I mean, like, baby mama situations can be tricky.
00:04:45.000 Like, sometimes guys don't want to get you in on all the drama.
00:04:48.000 But it's like, you're going into it in bad faith so you're assuming the worst when maybe it wasn't the worst.
00:04:53.000 But I also feel like it's just the way you conduct yourself in a sensitive situation as well.
00:04:57.000 Like, I just feel like...
00:04:58.000 But couldn't we say that to you, though?
00:05:00.000 Because it's the way, like, you didn't listen when he said leave.
00:05:02.000 Mm-hmm.
00:05:03.000 So it's kind of like, as women, like, we kind of have this double standard where we make him the bad guy when it's like, you kind of started it.
00:05:08.000 But then, oh, yeah, I remember now.
00:05:10.000 Also, the reason was, like, I've stayed in the house by myself before.
00:05:13.000 And at this point, like, he didn't want me to stay.
00:05:15.000 So it's like, if you love me, why can't I stay here while you go and pick up your child, do what you need to do, and I'll stay here tonight and you come back.
00:05:21.000 Because you don't want me there.
00:05:22.000 Because that's entitlement.
00:05:23.000 It's not your house.
00:05:24.000 Yeah, that's what I'm about to say.
00:05:25.000 It's the same.
00:05:26.000 Like, if I own this apartment, if I want anyone to leave at any time, I have the right to do that.
00:05:33.000 Absolutely.
00:05:34.000 But that wasn't the issue.
00:05:35.000 Honestly, I didn't have an issue with that.
00:05:37.000 It was just the way it happened and the things that he was saying and the way he was speaking to me.
00:05:40.000 No, okay, but this is like a lot of problems with women in relationships.
00:05:43.000 We want men to emote like women.
00:05:45.000 But he's not a woman.
00:05:46.000 He's a man.
00:05:47.000 Men don't speak like women do.
00:05:48.000 They're much more stern.
00:05:50.000 And so a lot of times, like, we think something's aggressive, but men are just more aggressive than women.
00:05:54.000 You might want to call him.
00:05:56.000 But we're not aggressive.
00:05:57.000 He seems like a hard man to replace.
00:05:58.000 Can we just say that?
00:05:59.000 And say sorry.
00:06:00.000 And you said in the beginning that the men that like you, you don't want.
00:06:03.000 So that means the men you want don't want you.
00:06:05.000 Wow.
00:06:06.000 I haven't met the one, I think.
00:06:07.000 No, but that's like, that's what any girl that's single, it just means the men you want don't want you.
00:06:11.000 And it's not meant to be offensive.
00:06:12.000 The thing is, it's actually crazy because there's no one I actually want.
00:06:15.000 Apart from.
00:06:16.000 There's okay, but okay, come on.
00:06:18.000 There's nobody in the world that you'd want.
00:06:20.000 I'm attracted to like someone, but he's like a celebrity figure.
00:06:24.000 You know, like sex appeal, but there's no one I actually want.
00:06:27.000 Okay, do you think you're on like the level of a celebrity?
00:06:29.000 Yeah.
00:06:30.000 You're not on the level of a celebrity.
00:06:32.000 I think I am.
00:06:33.000 I think I am.
00:06:34.000 I think I am.
00:06:35.000 I think I am.
00:06:36.000 I think I am.
00:06:37.000 I think I am.
00:06:38.000 No, you're a pretty girl.
00:06:39.000 I think I'm an amazing person if I'm being honest.
00:06:42.000 Celebrity is like top 10, 20% of beauty.
00:06:44.000 Like that.
00:06:45.000 Yeah.
00:06:46.000 But remember, I think I'm beautiful.
00:06:47.000 I think I'm beautiful without the Botox, without the money, without all that money to do myself
00:06:51.000 up.
00:06:52.000 So I think I'm great.
00:06:53.000 I know.
00:06:54.000 This is like a cope I see women do.
00:06:55.000 Like, it's like you think because they have money, they're beautiful when they got there.
00:07:00.000 Money helped.
00:07:01.000 But if you look at Margot Robbie before fame, that girl was a 10.
00:07:04.000 I don't know who that is.
00:07:05.000 But then you're doing selectiveness because there's enough girl that go there and the money
00:07:08.000 glows them up only.
00:07:09.000 I disagree.
00:07:10.000 Not the girls that get there for looks alone.
00:07:13.000 Top 20% of beauty.
00:07:15.000 You can look at exceptions like that.
00:07:17.000 Like Kylie Jenner.
00:07:18.000 She's not beautiful.
00:07:20.000 She wasn't beautiful before.
00:07:22.000 She was cute.
00:07:23.000 But yeah.
00:07:24.000 I mean, she wasn't that beautiful.
00:07:25.000 She gets fixed up.
00:07:26.000 But I'm just saying in general, guys.
00:07:28.000 Can we just talk in general instead of exceptions?
00:07:30.000 Most celebrities are top 20% of beauty in general.
00:07:33.000 We could talk about there's some exceptions.
00:07:36.000 Like Kylie Jenner did her lips, whatever.
00:07:38.000 But most people in Hollywood were the top 20% of beauty wherever they're from.
00:07:42.000 I still don't agree, but yeah.
00:07:44.000 Okay.
00:07:45.000 I feel you.
00:07:46.000 I feel you.
00:07:47.000 I don't know.
00:07:48.000 Maybe you should call him.
00:07:49.000 No.
00:07:50.000 Definitely not.
00:07:51.000 He might.
00:07:52.000 Oh, I'm an apology.
00:07:53.000 I don't know.
00:07:54.000 We had a closure, but he's not the one for me.
00:07:56.000 He's not my soulmate.
00:07:57.000 What's the definition of the one?
00:07:59.000 I just feel like there's a difference in behaviour.
00:08:02.000 And the way you feel as well.
00:08:04.000 I'm not a possessive person.
00:08:05.000 I really like my independence, but I just know there's a certain way that you will handle
00:08:10.000 someone in those situations.
00:08:12.000 Are you your only child?
00:08:13.000 That just wasn't...
00:08:14.000 You know what it is though?
00:08:15.000 You know what it is?
00:08:16.000 Sorry, I just know within myself.
00:08:17.000 Sorry, are you your only child?
00:08:18.000 No, I've got brothers and sisters.
00:08:19.000 Are you the youngest?
00:08:20.000 I'm in the middle.
00:08:21.000 Oh, okay.
00:08:22.000 You know...
00:08:23.000 So grow...
00:08:24.000 No, go on.
00:08:25.000 It's fine.
00:08:26.000 So growing up, did your mum have a partner?
00:08:28.000 Did you have a step-dad around?
00:08:29.000 No.
00:08:30.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:08:31.000 Like, no, but not permanently.
00:08:32.000 All right.
00:08:33.000 So what...
00:08:34.000 In terms of looking up, do you know how to look after a man?
00:08:37.000 Of course.
00:08:38.000 No, because you're saying certain things that in a relationship, it's like...
00:08:42.000 If you saw a relationship with your mum and dad growing up, then there's certain things
00:08:45.000 you wouldn't do in a relationship, you get what I'm saying, to keep the man.
00:08:49.000 Listen, every man...
00:08:50.000 Where are you?
00:08:51.000 Every man that's been my boyfriend has returned, and they haven't found better.
00:08:55.000 No, it's not.
00:08:56.000 Definitely not.
00:08:57.000 Sorry.
00:08:58.000 It's definitely not.
00:08:59.000 Have you ever been married?
00:09:00.000 Proposed to you?
00:09:01.000 Yeah.
00:09:02.000 Well, not like on one knee.
00:09:04.000 I haven't had that experience yet, but I've had similar.
00:09:06.000 You bought your ring?
00:09:07.000 Yes.
00:09:08.000 Oh, promise ring.
00:09:09.000 I've had similar, but not like that.
00:09:10.000 It was young, so...
00:09:11.000 Promise ring?
00:09:12.000 Basically, kind of like that.
00:09:13.000 Do you know what I mean?
00:09:14.000 Okay.
00:09:15.000 It's the same thing.
00:09:16.000 It's rare for a man to do that.
00:09:18.000 Promise rings don't count.
00:09:19.000 No, it does, because it's rare, because...
00:09:20.000 That does not count.
00:09:21.000 Do you think that men go out and buy promise rings?
00:09:23.000 No, no, no.
00:09:24.000 It's just a line of the gift.
00:09:25.000 I'll be honest.
00:09:26.000 Girl, I've had one.
00:09:27.000 It's not that big.
00:09:28.000 Pal, pal, let me have...
00:09:29.000 But he has to really like you to be...
00:09:31.000 Because he's not going to do that to everyone.
00:09:32.000 No, no, I'm not going to lie.
00:09:33.000 Man will buy promise rings still.
00:09:34.000 Wait, wait, wait.
00:09:35.000 It's never going to happen.
00:09:36.000 It doesn't count.
00:09:37.000 You need a wedding date.
00:09:38.000 Yeah, hundreds.
00:09:39.000 That counts.
00:09:40.000 A wedding date, not a little ring.
00:09:41.000 But I was young anyway.
00:09:42.000 No, okay, so it wasn't a real...
00:09:44.000 It wasn't a real proposal.
00:09:45.000 No, no, no.
00:09:46.000 Okay, so the whole point is like you're counting things that don't count.
00:09:50.000 It doesn't count if they don't want to marry you.
00:09:52.000 No, I feel you.
00:09:53.000 Well, they do.
00:09:54.000 Their intention is to, you know.
00:09:55.000 No, men say things.
00:09:56.000 When they mean it, they do it.
00:09:58.000 Like you can't count it like...
00:10:00.000 I know what you mean, but you know, shit happens.
00:10:03.000 You know, I've had guys say, I want to marry you.
00:10:05.000 It doesn't count unless he goes by the ring.
00:10:07.000 Hundreds.
00:10:08.000 Asked my date.
00:10:09.000 This is...
00:10:10.000 We can't like...
00:10:11.000 I don't know why as women, we count things that don't count.
00:10:13.000 You know it don't count.
00:10:14.000 So you've been proposed to a couple of times or...
00:10:17.000 It don't count.
00:10:19.000 Like...
00:10:20.000 That's what I just said.
00:10:22.000 Like, yeah.
00:10:23.000 So no one's bought a ring and said...
00:10:25.000 No, no, no.
00:10:27.000 It doesn't.
00:10:28.000 It don't count.
00:10:29.000 Like...
00:10:30.000 It's like I had a promise ring.
00:10:31.000 But is it a promise ring a wedding ring?
00:10:32.000 No.
00:10:33.000 No, it's not.
00:10:34.000 I don't count that.
00:10:35.000 But any time we feel like it...
00:10:36.000 But did he say it was a promise ring or did he say it's an engagement ring?
00:10:39.000 No, he said it was a promise ring.
00:10:41.000 And then he said...
00:10:42.000 He was trying to...
00:10:43.000 He said.
00:10:44.000 It doesn't count.
00:10:45.000 That's what I'm saying.
00:10:46.000 Financially, he was trying to get the property.
00:10:48.000 No.
00:10:49.000 I'm not gonna do it.
00:10:50.000 It doesn't count.
00:10:51.000 Okay, no.