JustPearlyThings - December 28, 2022


Pearl COULD NOT Believe This


Episode Stats

Length

10 minutes

Words per Minute

177.3734

Word Count

1,826

Sentence Count

151


Summary

In this episode, I sit down with my good friend and co-worker, to talk about her experience with Pregnancy and Infant Loss and Pregnancy scares. We talk about what it's like to be a single mother and how to deal with it.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Why do you feel like it's more on the women than you?
00:00:04.440 Oh, shit, they don't want to carry the babies.
00:00:06.600 Nine months. I don't carry kids.
00:00:08.540 I could be irresponsible.
00:00:11.740 I could be, it's a difference between
00:00:14.080 being innerly irresponsible and consciously irresponsible.
00:00:18.780 I could be irresponsible.
00:00:24.660 Seven baby mothers, huh?
00:00:26.200 That's just so crazy to me.
00:00:27.720 I know, it's a guy that, I wouldn't say his name.
00:00:32.160 He got 15.
00:00:34.160 You know someone with 15?
00:00:36.800 Mm-hmm.
00:00:38.160 Because it's just to me, I was just like, how do you,
00:00:40.900 how does that happen that many times?
00:00:42.260 Like, I don't understand one.
00:00:43.740 You know, I'll give you two, but seven?
00:00:46.200 Seven? Like, how do you get seven baby mothers?
00:00:49.580 That's crazy.
00:00:51.480 I didn't want seven baby mothers.
00:00:53.240 They kept the kids.
00:00:54.380 Yeah, yeah.
00:00:56.240 Yeah, but, like, you didn't know that after the first,
00:00:58.180 second, third time?
00:01:01.040 It was over, it was over a point of, of, of,
00:01:04.180 shit, 17 to 27, shit, a decade.
00:01:07.620 This is, oh, 17 to 27.
00:01:10.780 So it's like, one a year.
00:01:13.020 Well, you say 17, that's like, well, it's like every other year.
00:01:15.260 I said by six years, because the last one was four.
00:01:17.200 So over a span of six years, it's just like that, yeah.
00:01:20.940 Wow.
00:01:23.440 Wow, that's crazy.
00:01:25.700 Um, man's, man is, um, did you learn anything from it?
00:01:32.740 Like, do you, are you more responsible now, at least?
00:01:34.980 Do you feel like the women learned?
00:01:36.340 Like, did they learn a lesson in it?
00:01:40.660 I mean, I don't, I don't keep up with them.
00:01:43.220 So, shit, hopefully they learned a lesson.
00:01:45.060 Mm-hmm.
00:01:45.760 I mean, but, you know, stuff, if I repeated it
00:01:49.620 after the first, the first time, I don't know, you don't know,
00:01:53.300 I don't know their experience.
00:01:54.500 It's possible that they learned.
00:01:55.700 No, for sure I learned, though.
00:01:57.300 My last, my last pregnancy scare was, uh, shit, October of 2022.
00:02:03.640 Mm-hmm.
00:02:04.240 And, uh, but this, this, I actually liked this female
00:02:08.220 until she said a particular thing.
00:02:09.780 Uh, I asked her, uh, after seven, eight weeks,
00:02:12.920 because I believe, I don't care if you're married,
00:02:14.680 I don't care, like, if you've been knowing somebody
00:02:17.160 for a long time, I believe you should,
00:02:18.780 you should get a DNA test on your kids, right?
00:02:21.160 So this is the one that I was actually, like, looking to keep.
00:02:24.960 You feel me?
00:02:25.760 And, uh, I asked her, I was like, oh, you know,
00:02:27.560 seven, eight weeks, I'm, uh, I want to, uh, get a DNA test,
00:02:31.200 you know, because you can do it in the womb.
00:02:32.400 I heard that.
00:02:32.940 You know what I'm saying?
00:02:33.540 Mm-hmm.
00:02:34.040 Technology, thank God.
00:02:35.000 So, uh, she was like, oh, that's embarrassing,
00:02:37.980 and I wouldn't do that.
00:02:40.500 I'd rather be a single mother.
00:02:42.840 And I never talked to her again.
00:02:46.920 Then take a plan B.
00:02:48.080 She'd rather be a single mother.
00:02:50.760 No, at this point, she was already, like, um,
00:02:55.020 she had to be, like, uh, four to five weeks.
00:02:57.720 Oh, wow.
00:02:59.660 Yeah, and she was like, uh, instead of taking a DNA test,
00:03:03.620 because that's embarrassing to her,
00:03:05.660 she'd rather be a single mother.
00:03:07.260 That only let me know she, that could be for somebody else.
00:03:09.760 Why would I waste my money to try to find out who this kid for?
00:03:12.540 Mm-hmm.
00:03:14.700 Oh, wow.
00:03:17.200 Um.
00:03:21.800 I'm sorry.
00:03:22.800 Um.
00:03:27.380 I can't.
00:03:28.620 I just, I just can't.
00:03:30.680 It's actually wild to me that it's, yeah, it's just,
00:03:34.460 this is just such a different world.
00:03:35.680 I don't know a single person with, like, even two baby mothers
00:03:39.920 that weren't from, like, wives, you know?
00:03:42.160 So it's, like, it's just crazy to me that one person can have
00:03:45.160 seven, you know, someone with 15.
00:03:49.660 They, look, they, they take trips to Jamaica to find men like me.
00:03:52.660 And, um, why do you think modern women are so irresponsible
00:04:06.200 with their bodies?
00:04:09.740 Because they have a, uh, a system that would, would back their ass
00:04:14.040 to fuck up, child support, got different type of welfarers,
00:04:18.380 different type of government assistance that, that favors single mothers.
00:04:21.780 Mm-hmm.
00:04:22.780 So if they are irresponsible, they know there is a system
00:04:24.980 that's going to back their ass up.
00:04:26.380 Mm-hmm.
00:04:28.380 Do you think that they would have, those women would have acted
00:04:31.620 differently if they didn't have those systems?
00:04:35.100 Oh, yeah.
00:04:35.820 The, I think more women would be, be asking, uh, asking men to marry
00:04:39.360 them before they even try to even bear a child, which it should be
00:04:42.940 like that.
00:04:43.440 Mm-hmm.
00:04:43.800 I really, I really, I really think and prefer women to, you know
00:04:46.780 what I'm saying, kind of taking consideration the type of dudes
00:04:49.840 that you might meet, because you might meet me.
00:04:51.780 And if I don't want you like that, and I don't like you like that,
00:04:54.780 and I accidentally get you pregnant, I don't want a kid with you.
00:04:57.980 Mm-hmm.
00:04:58.380 So I think, I think women should be more, or, or, or conscious
00:05:01.180 about who the men, who the, who, which man's they sleeping with,
00:05:04.400 and, and hold some type of moral standards, at least have a dude
00:05:08.060 commit to you, you know what I'm saying?
00:05:09.460 At least, if you don't believe in marriage, at least, at least have,
00:05:11.860 at least have a dude, you know what I'm saying, buy your
00:05:13.900 motherfucking house or something, you know what I'm saying?
00:05:15.400 So you can have some type of stability to raise a motherfucking child.
00:05:18.600 Mm-hmm.
00:05:18.900 So I, I really believe we should get back to this, to, to this,
00:05:22.800 uh, uh, uh, uh, marry before you carry type of shit.
00:05:27.120 Mm-hmm.
00:05:27.880 I, it sound hypocritical, but it's in the middle.
00:05:29.440 Yeah, I was going to say, isn't that hard to say when it's like
00:05:32.280 you're contributing in a way?
00:05:33.880 Yeah, it, it is hard to say, but shit, somebody's got to learn
00:05:38.280 someday, and, and, and, and the message's got to get out there,
00:05:41.120 even if it's from a hypocrite.
00:05:42.820 Yeah.
00:05:43.320 Yeah.
00:05:43.820 But you got to think about the things in the past.
00:05:45.960 Didn't they say it's better to, it's better to, uh, to raise a
00:05:49.520 child in a two parent home, right?
00:05:51.240 Yeah.
00:05:52.640 Do you ever feel bad?
00:05:53.640 I think.
00:05:54.640 Do you ever feel bad?
00:05:55.640 Not bad at all.
00:05:56.240 Not, not even a little bit?
00:05:57.960 Like, do you think you'd ever want to meet any of your kids?
00:05:59.400 I ain't livid.
00:06:01.280 Would you ever want to meet your kids, like, when they're older?
00:06:05.520 No, not really, but it can happen.
00:06:07.640 I'm not against it, but like, I, I don't have a desire for kids
00:06:11.080 that don't supposed to be here.
00:06:13.080 What?
00:06:14.080 Do you think more men, um, do you think it's more common for men
00:06:18.020 to be deadbeats, um, and not want to be in their kids' lives, or do
00:06:21.520 you think it's more common that the mom's not letting them see
00:06:23.700 the kids when it comes to, like, single parent homes?
00:06:27.700 Oh, re, re, ask it again?
00:06:31.200 What do you think's more common, um, men in your situation where
00:06:34.800 they don't want to be in the kids' lives or where women don't let
00:06:40.400 the dads see the kid?
00:06:44.400 Damn.
00:06:48.400 I think it's a mixture of both.
00:06:52.840 Because if you, that's a good question.
00:06:58.780 It might be more deadbeats, because most, more, more men, like,
00:07:02.420 if they're having a situation like I'm having, and they're having,
00:07:05.260 like, like the encounters I'm having with just fun, sometimes you
00:07:09.260 don't want to be, um, connected to just fun.
00:07:13.260 So she's just casual.
00:07:14.260 You don't want to be connected.
00:07:15.260 And that's what that child is.
00:07:16.280 So it might be more deadbeats.
00:07:17.700 I don't know.
00:07:18.700 Mm-hmm.
00:07:19.700 Women, because if, if a woman not allow a man to see his child that he
00:07:25.680 want to see, she is indirectly making him a deadbeat.
00:07:30.680 Mm-hmm.
00:07:31.680 Because there's nothing he can do about it.
00:07:33.680 Yeah.
00:07:34.680 No, I just.
00:07:36.680 And that can turn, that can, that can, that can turn, that can turn men
00:07:40.680 into saying, fuck those kids.
00:07:43.680 Especially the ones that want to, I feel, I feel bad for the men that
00:07:47.680 actually want their kids and actually want to be a father.
00:07:50.680 Mm-hmm.
00:07:51.680 And it's with a woman, potentially like the ones that I left behind.
00:07:55.680 You feel me?
00:07:56.680 I feel bad for men like that.
00:07:57.680 Mm-hmm.
00:07:58.680 Because there's nothing they can do.
00:07:59.680 Mm-hmm.
00:08:00.680 I, I heard somebody say to, to one of my, uh, partners from high
00:08:04.680 school, because he was going through this shit.
00:08:06.680 White boy.
00:08:07.680 He was going through this.
00:08:08.680 And his dad told him, do as much as she allow you to do.
00:08:13.680 And that just let me know, men don't have no rights for their
00:08:18.680 kids, bro.
00:08:19.680 They ain't got no rights to their kids.
00:08:21.680 And then it's an issue when a dude like me don't want to deal with
00:08:27.680 the kids.
00:08:28.680 But when a man, this dude fought so hard to, to try to get even
00:08:33.680 visitation, like he in jail with his child.
00:08:36.680 Mm-hmm.
00:08:37.680 It's crazy.
00:08:38.680 It is, it's like, it's like you want to force them to be fathers,
00:08:42.680 but you're not trying to back or help them up once they want to be
00:08:46.680 fathers.
00:08:47.680 Mm-hmm.
00:08:48.680 The shit is, the shit is crazy.
00:08:49.680 Did you, did you have a father in your life?
00:08:52.680 Like growing up?
00:08:53.680 Yeah.
00:08:54.680 Yeah.
00:08:55.680 I come from both.
00:08:56.680 I come from both my parents married.
00:08:58.680 Okay.
00:08:59.680 I'm just wondering, like.
00:09:01.680 Another.
00:09:02.680 Sorry, go ahead.
00:09:03.680 Go ahead.
00:09:04.680 Another thing I was going to say.
00:09:05.680 Uh, yeah.
00:09:06.680 Two parent household.
00:09:07.680 Oh, they own their house.
00:09:08.680 Got some land, got small businesses.
00:09:10.680 You feel me?
00:09:11.680 But I was going to say to, um, to any parents that's even watching this shit.
00:09:14.680 You can do the best you can do with your children.
00:09:18.680 Raise them however you want to raise them.
00:09:20.680 It's a, it's a good chance that they're going to be raised up in your morals.
00:09:25.680 But it's a, it's a point in their life that they might stray from that shit.
00:09:29.680 So parents that see they, they, they children being things that they didn't teach them to be.
00:09:35.680 Don't, don't take that shit to heart.
00:09:37.680 Because they have to live their own life.
00:09:39.680 And they have their own path.
00:09:40.680 They're going to walk.
00:09:41.680 Do your, do your parents agree with this?
00:09:44.680 Oh, hell nah.
00:09:45.680 Not at all.
00:09:46.680 Not one bit.
00:09:47.680 But they can't, they can't control me.
00:09:49.680 My mama say if, if a woman ever come and say, that's my, that's my grandbaby.
00:09:52.680 I take the DNA test and I'll be in a light.
00:09:55.680 So my, my parents don't agree with this, but they can't control what I do.
00:10:00.680 You feel me?
00:10:01.680 Many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
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