JustPearlyThings - May 27, 2023


Pearl Quickly SHUT HER Down For Saying This...


Episode Stats

Length

7 minutes

Words per Minute

212.4683

Word Count

1,620

Sentence Count

121

Misogynist Sentences

10

Hate Speech Sentences

10


Summary

In this episode, we're joined by our good friend and dating coach, Sophie, to talk about what it means to be a woman in the modern dating world and why women need to level up in order to be more attractive to men.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 I was gonna say well at least a man has options I feel like women we are our
00:00:04.020 options are very very limited so even if even if a man is getting rejected at
00:00:08.040 least he knows okay fine I can find another woman who is maybe like a woman
00:00:11.680 that I'm interested in but for a woman it's very very difficult I feel like
00:00:15.580 the options for men are very very low in the UK. It is not difficult you just go outside
00:00:18.880 It's true but it's like for me it's not gonna be a guy that I want. But whose fault is that?
00:00:28.140 Isn't that your own fault because that's your standard? It's definitely not my fault I'm not selling for anybody that I'm not attracted to what I don't want. Absolutely I agree. We need better options so yeah I think you should keep coaching men to level up. So the men need to level up. But then don't you think the women need to level up? I mean how many women? The women are leveling up. I'm leveled. What percent of women have cookbooks? What percent of women are homemakers? What percent of women really work with kids and can be good mothers?
00:00:51.540 There's percentage but you just have to find your percentage. What? Go ahead. You just have to find your percentage. You have to find your percentage? You have to find it. There's women out there you just have to find. Yeah but is it common?
00:01:04.480 But that's for a certain type of man. There are some men that like boss babes who have businesses who are grinding and stuff like that. No no no no no. There are 100%. Bums. Broke men.
00:01:14.480 If that's who you did, that's who you did. So you don't think men like women that are boss babes? Men don't give a shit about our money. Exactly. They literally don't care. It's like okay if this guy ever told you about a shoe collection and you're like oh that's cool but you don't really care. That's how men view our money. They don't care. It's nothing. True.
00:01:34.480 But you prove the point what you said just now though because what you're saying is that you could walk out theoretically you know hypothetically you could walk out and get some guy maybe come and chat you up or whatever but you're looking for a certain percentile of guy. Yeah.
00:01:46.480 So you're basically saying oh you know this group of guys who might hit on me randomly in West London. I don't care about them because I want this top tier. And that's the thing. I'm not saying that's a bad. I mean that's absolutely everyone's prerogative. But at the same time I think a lot of guys are finding it increasingly difficult in this dating marketplace. You know because women are the gatekeepers basically.
00:02:07.480 Yes. So I'm curious because I hear this a lot like I'm not going to get a guy that's not on my level or is that what you said? I don't want to misquote you.
00:02:15.480 Yeah I just don't want to be with a guy that's just not up to the standard that I want.
00:02:19.480 So when as women do we lower our standards and decide that they're too high? If all the guys we're talking to don't live up to the standards that we want when do we lower them?
00:02:28.480 When you're getting old and there's no more time. When your body clock is giving up and you can't have children.
00:02:35.480 So 90 percent of your eggs are gone by 30. So at what age would you say that women should start lowering their standards?
00:02:42.480 Because that would be 30 then if that's the case. Because I need children. Do you know what I mean?
00:02:47.480 Because it's geriatric pregnancy starts at 35. Wow.
00:02:50.480 So I think a lot of times like women we think our biological clock is a lot longer than it really is.
00:02:55.480 You freeze your eggs.
00:02:57.480 That's also an option yeah.
00:02:59.480 Yeah but I can't remember the stat off the top of my head but it doesn't work out for a lot of women.
00:03:05.480 They kind of sell us that dream.
00:03:07.480 Yeah.
00:03:08.480 I wish I could remember what percent of women actually get pregnant but it's not as high as you think after geriatric pregnancy.
00:03:16.480 Yeah.
00:03:17.480 I think the other way round it's only about 50 percent if a guy freezes his sperm.
00:03:21.480 Oh wow.
00:03:22.480 It's quite it's you know it's like a 50-50 shot basically whether it's gonna it's gonna work or not.
00:03:28.480 I mean yeah it's a bit of a tricky one. I mean yeah I don't know.
00:03:37.480 But no one can help who they're attracted to I mean you can't say to somebody what well you know it's very hard to say to somebody look you should lower your standards.
00:03:45.480 Because we are attracted to who we're attracted to and that's just that's just the reality of it isn't it.
00:03:51.480 I'm curious would you guys rather be like so at 60 65 would you rather be by yourself or be with someone you're not attracted to.
00:03:58.480 Be by myself.
00:04:00.480 Be by myself.
00:04:01.480 Yeah.
00:04:02.480 Cats?
00:04:03.480 No.
00:04:05.480 Really?
00:04:06.480 No kids?
00:04:07.480 Because to me it's like I'd rather be with someone I'm not attracted to than not have children.
00:04:10.480 Yeah 100 percent.
00:04:11.480 I would feel like my life was like a failure if I didn't have kids.
00:04:14.480 No I'm not looking for companionship.
00:04:16.480 I definitely want kids.
00:04:17.480 If it's real it's not.
00:04:18.480 What?
00:04:19.480 If it's real it's not.
00:04:20.480 What were you gonna say?
00:04:23.480 You definitely want kids?
00:04:24.480 Yeah.
00:04:25.480 I know so I'm asking if you had the two options and you would still pick by yourself.
00:04:29.480 That's 65.
00:04:30.480 I mean you just told me the age of 35 so.
00:04:34.480 No but I'm saying so in one scenario at 65 you have a husband you're not attracted to and children and a family and at the other one you're by yourself.
00:04:41.480 So I'm saying like as women we keep saying we need our standards to be on a certain level right.
00:04:45.480 And I hear this is super common it's not just you.
00:04:47.480 So it's like but when do we start lowering them if the men aren't meeting them?
00:04:52.480 Because what's our other option?
00:04:54.480 Bye dog.
00:04:55.480 That dog ain't giving you kids I'll tell you that.
00:05:00.480 I think that's where it goes with the beauty beyond the eye.
00:05:05.480 You see?
00:05:06.480 You know you don't find him attractive first and you really start liking him after.
00:05:10.480 But you see what I'm saying when I say that like I think that women, men have higher beauty standards than women.
00:05:16.480 Like that they have to live up to.
00:05:18.480 Because it's such a small percentage of men that we're even attracted to.
00:05:21.480 Everyone here said they're picky.
00:05:22.480 But don't you feel like it happened to us first as women?
00:05:26.480 We had to level ourselves up to be a certain way.
00:05:30.480 When do you think we had to level ourselves up?
00:05:35.480 I'd say about 20, 30 years ago.
00:05:38.480 I feel like we've gotten worse in the last 20 to 30 years.
00:05:41.480 See? So about 20, 30 years?
00:05:42.480 No, but I don't think we've leveled up. I think women have leveled down.
00:05:45.480 I don't agree with that.
00:05:47.480 No, I think you're right.
00:05:49.480 But I think probably from my perspective, I reckon what happened was that there was that pressure on women to be, you know,
00:05:55.480 you've got to look amazing all the time.
00:05:57.480 And blokes, like back in the sort of the 80s and early 90s and stuff, guys didn't really have to make an effort.
00:06:02.480 You know what I mean?
00:06:03.480 It was like you could have a beer gun and just like whatever football shirt on and she's like, oh, yeah, she's nice.
00:06:07.480 And, you know, it's very laddy kind of thing.
00:06:09.480 Really? I've seen pictures of guys from like the, I saw beach pictures from like the, before the 60s.
00:06:15.480 Everyone was hot back then.
00:06:17.480 I thought they were so much more attractive.
00:06:19.480 The men and the women, they were, I feel like something switched in the food or something.
00:06:25.480 Well, maybe just in England then.
00:06:27.480 But no, I know what you mean because I've seen in pictures in like Brazil and stuff, like from the 70s.
00:06:31.480 No, I'm talking the US, like California pictures.
00:06:33.480 Oh, really?
00:06:34.480 Yeah.
00:06:35.480 Okay.
00:06:36.480 Okay.
00:06:37.480 I don't know.
00:06:38.480 Well, from my perspective, what I've seen, I think that standards for men have got higher in the last sort of 10, 15, 20 years.
00:06:45.480 That's just my sense of it.
00:06:47.480 And maybe women's had to have been higher in the past, but like, I don't know.
00:06:53.480 It doesn't really help anybody, does it?
00:06:54.480 Do you know what I mean?
00:06:55.480 Like, I think now because of the thirstiness of guys and the fact that as we've said, I mean, guys are less selected than women.
00:07:03.480 I think guys are now more, less picky than they were.
00:07:06.480 Do you know what I mean?
00:07:07.480 I think there are many guys who will take a woman who's perhaps less attractive than he would have preferred
00:07:13.480 because he thinks that's his only option.
00:07:15.480 I think ultimately it's finding someone you're compatible with.
00:07:19.480 So all these standards, standards, standards, it's like, what is a standard?
00:07:23.480 If he's a good guy, if he's a good girl, and it's like, you know, it's compatible to you.
00:07:27.480 It's got the same values, same, you know, principles, and you get along well, and you have the same, you know, goals in life.
00:07:33.480 I think that's what can be defined as a, you know.