JustPearlyThings - June 22, 2023


Pearl Was HORRIFIED By This Fact


Episode Stats

Length

10 minutes

Words per Minute

142.58592

Word Count

1,477

Sentence Count

1


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 she like was convinced like i wonder do you think these she was convinced these were true
00:00:06.080 yeah i think she she tricked herself into thinking they were true after a while she
00:00:11.040 started believing her own lies there's no doubt i think she does this day that she had constructed
00:00:17.280 this fantasy world where i was some sort of you know she she she was meeting um these kind of
00:00:25.040 women's aid charities these group meetings in the local town that was known um other mothers in the
00:00:34.000 area were actually part of this group um if you how do you because i was thinking could i go to a
00:00:43.120 woman's aid place like would they can anyone just go to one any woman can yes yes i'm just curious
00:00:48.960 what they would you know if like i said oh someone abused me they're not going to question you they're
00:00:54.800 not going to they're not going to assume you're lying they're going to assume you're telling the
00:00:59.520 truth they're then typically going to give you advice uh they're going to tell you what to say
00:01:06.560 and how to present and it's going to be a game of top trumps right between you know you you all sat
00:01:14.400 there and you'll say i you know my ex did that no my ex did something worse no my ex did something
00:01:20.560 was and it just becomes this kind of echo chamber yeah that everything gets gets more and more
00:01:25.840 extreme more and more hysterical okay so
00:01:32.800 okay so you found out that your son's best friend was murdered yeah i thought it was actually my son
00:01:38.240 murdered at the time so i i phoned my ex-wife i sent text messages she refused to answer even then even at
00:01:47.520 that point she just didn't want to engage at all and uh it was well into the next you know i phoned the
00:01:58.320 police and asked is this my son fortunately well you know it sounds dreadful to say that now but
00:02:07.200 the relief was it wasn't him i only i only really heard anything from my ex-wife well into the next day
00:02:18.400 well why why can't you just let it go something something truly terrible has happened it transpired
00:02:26.560 that my ex-wife was very close friends with leslie speed and that her and my son and leslie archie
00:02:37.600 would frequently go out playing and they'd been out the day before
00:02:41.120 so i believe my ex-wife was the last person to see archie alive and
00:02:49.840 clearly within this group and i like you know i later found out from from matthew spriggs
00:02:56.560 that's you know i don't speak for matthew spriggs by the way the father of archie but you know he'd
00:03:04.880 experienced much the same as i had that there were groups of women throwing hurling abuse at him
00:03:11.440 unnecessary abuse really vile you know mobile phones out taking photographs you know films of him
00:03:19.760 picking the sun up dropping the sun back shouting and swearing at him with the children and my son
00:03:27.760 included so this is my ex amongst this group of women throwing hurling abuse at him
00:03:32.320 you know this this is this is days before leslie speed did what she did so she smothered and strangled him
00:03:43.280 and it transpires it seems that this was there were two reasons really that that it was a way to
00:03:55.840 prevent archie ever being looked after by matthew and it was also an act of revenge against matthew and
00:04:06.080 the similarities of the kind of allegation she was making against him mirrored almost exactly the
00:04:13.760 allegations my ex was making against me these are two women maybe a third with emily s you know saying
00:04:22.880 and doing the same things and following a very similar a similar pattern a similar very similar pattern
00:04:30.480 and i you know before this the point is before his murder before this murder i picked up on this
00:04:39.760 and i'd warned um kafkas at the local authority social services were not involved at this point i
00:04:46.560 should add but i had stated very clearly that i was very concerned by this group of women that their
00:04:54.880 behavior was becoming kind of a group hysteria and that something needs to be done so some of them
00:05:02.160 needed to look into this behavior because it's getting spiraling out of control and my fear was
00:05:07.760 something was going something would snap something was going to happen i had no idea it was going to be
00:05:12.800 that serious or anything like that and i'm certainly not accusing my ex-wife of any culpability in this
00:05:20.640 you know she's not responsible we know who's responsible but this kind of group think amongst
00:05:30.800 this group of women it's a dangerous thing it can have real consequences
00:05:39.600 and it can have the most terrible consequences and perhaps rather than encouraging women like leslie
00:05:46.080 speed who was had known kind of homicidal tendencies probably not known to my ex-wife admittedly but
00:05:55.040 surely it is better to try to diffuse these situations it's better to say look leslie let's just calm
00:06:02.080 down let's try and do the best we can for our children let's let's not throw these wild allegations
00:06:09.200 around but by hyping everything up by making everything more and more extreme then some people
00:06:16.320 will snap and she certainly did why why did she strangle her son she did it because she didn't want the
00:06:23.760 dad like what so she strangled her did she say that or how did there is evidence
00:06:30.800 evidence in the murder trial that seems to suggest that she'd written a letter um that explained that
00:06:41.200 you know that it seemed to be an act of revenge against him wow and that um
00:06:49.920 at least you know i'm sorry i forget the exact wording and i would kind of need to get that right
00:06:57.200 so i don't want to go into too many details on that but it was an act of revenge
00:07:04.080 against the father okay and she was making all of the same allegations against him as my ex was making
00:07:12.880 against me they were a very tight-knit group of mothers the children were all very close friends
00:07:20.240 there were links that i had seen i become very concerned but of course
00:07:25.280 whenever i raised my concerns well mr jones you're not allowed to say who your ex-wife can and can't
00:07:32.400 be friends with that's coercive control you're controlling your ex-wife i said
00:07:40.000 look my ex-wife can make whatever friends she likes but when when they become involved with my son
00:07:45.520 and these are women are kind of babysitting my son influencing my son then i have surely have a
00:07:54.720 right to become concerned and i can't help but think that my concerns were completely and utterly justified
00:08:00.800 by what happened that i was making these noises before this or anything happened and it seemed that
00:08:08.000 matthew spriggs was independent i didn't know the man really i'd only met him once but i later found out
00:08:13.520 he was making these noises as well that he was complaining against obviously his ex-partner leslie
00:08:20.960 speed but he was noticing the behavior of this group of women other my other people in the neighborhood
00:08:27.280 my one of my oldest friends i mean before it had become so serious that she would kind of laughingly
00:08:34.800 joke oh oh yeah i know the group of those group of women they're the husband haters that's what we call
00:08:40.240 that and you know it sounds tragic now at the time it was kind of seen as light-hearted and then that
00:08:48.400 happened and um so what we have is obviously the social services were involved with
00:08:57.360 with archie spriggs that they they weren't involved with our case at that time we were still in the
00:09:06.160 private law realm uh but is private law that's family court yes i mean the family court also gets
00:09:15.680 involved public law public law is basically when a local authority will act will want to take a child
00:09:23.200 into care that becomes public law and so typically everybody is funded then through legal aid i was
00:09:31.840 not funded through legal aid at all at the like at the private law stage my ex-wife was because she
00:09:40.960 had a box to tick right she there was a box saying are you subject to domestic abuse
00:09:47.360 legal aid so she so she never had to represent herself she never had to learn the ins and outs of
00:09:58.720 family law like like i did never had to stand up in court and pretend to be some sort of barrister
00:10:07.520 but so you know maybe 20 30 court appearances mostly rubbish mostly time wasting
00:10:15.200 so over this this period where she was funded she had barristers i had no no sir