JustPearlyThings - March 19, 2023


She admitted this about Modern Women


Episode Stats

Length

11 minutes

Words per Minute

197.36618

Word Count

2,323

Sentence Count

1


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 um is dating easy for women what do you think do you think dating's easy for women
00:00:07.180 no why i feel like a lot of women are very picky and a bit fussy so so it makes it hard for women
00:00:15.540 sometimes yeah i feel like a lot of women sit down and feel like they've got all these boxes
00:00:19.540 that need to be ticked and if one's not ticked up onto the next one he's not right you know i feel
00:00:25.040 what are your what are your boxes that you need ticking what are your boxes you know as i get
00:00:29.880 older and also living boxes you got do you know as i get older and i listen to older women yeah speak
00:00:38.820 i realize that it's not all about boxes being ticked it's about the man being correct it's about
00:00:44.920 him genuinely all right cool you're what what do you what does the guy look like hold on hold on
00:00:49.800 hold on what does the guy look like what what are those intangibles what are those personality traits
00:00:54.740 what are you looking for in a guy what makes the guy right for you so a guy who is motivated and
00:01:00.900 motivating so whatever you do in this life it needs to motivate me to be a better woman as well
00:01:07.080 and also you're motivated to work you've got a job you've got ambition you're you've got a drive
00:01:13.120 you're working towards something you're not just sat here thinking oh do you know what i'm not sure
00:01:16.820 what i'm gonna do but maybe i might try this like there's clarity within your mind you know what you
00:01:21.200 want and where you're going would you date a guy shorter than you probably not well then that's
00:01:28.660 an intact that's already a very important time but you never know guys are not tall but you never know
00:01:33.260 you can't choose who you fall in love with you real short and if you're shorter than me then whoo
00:01:38.460 child you're short short because this is the thing like when i ask women this kind of actually let me
00:01:43.080 move on uh what what uh what do you think about it what kind of things are you looking for in a guy
00:01:47.980 um do you think and do you think dating is easy for women from a personal perspective dating is
00:01:55.600 different for me um only because i'm a mother and i've been a mother for three years so i'm still
00:02:03.320 quite adaptive 28 okay um i haven't really i don't know it's just it's it's it's just weird and
00:02:11.120 different for me i don't even know like the thought of um because obviously i'm not with my child's
00:02:16.500 father but the thought of um having to meet not having to but meeting someone and then having to
00:02:23.880 introduce them to my daughter eventually and then how is that going to play out it's it's a bit scary
00:02:28.600 i'm honest with you definitely like um i'd ask you this was was your baby's father a bad boy
00:02:36.120 was he a bad boy like was he toxic um what's just be real no i'm trying to define what exactly you
00:02:46.880 mean by like a bad boy okay what do you mean i don't know did he treat you bad like obviously
00:02:51.920 you're not with him now on it so did he treat you bad um i'm not with him now because he's not
00:02:58.200 carrying out the responsibilities and the duties as a father should do um is that like financially
00:03:04.180 financially emotionally supportively presently every league that there is but um prior to that
00:03:13.740 of course he treated me right because i jumped in bed with him didn't i uh not necessarily you
00:03:18.520 might have jumped in bed with him because he's good looking he's tall he's good looking he's got
00:03:24.380 swag or popular it happens a lot i know i agree definitely agree but i wasn't in a situation
00:03:29.940 was it from a relationship or a one-night stand um it was a progressive relationship or i thought it
00:03:35.160 was for how long um it's like on and off kind of not on and off but i don't know it's just was it
00:03:44.700 was it a relationship or like a situation right i would say well in my eyes i thought that's where it
00:03:50.540 was going do you know what i mean but obviously other people have so you had a kid with someone
00:03:54.300 you're in a situationship with pretty much yikes what what made you decide to do that or was it
00:04:00.020 um when i was in the situation like was it his idea or yours what to yeah both of us like we made
00:04:08.060 the decision both together but um yeah like it's just something that i couldn't bring myself to do
00:04:14.360 do you think like you know when you was first like seeing each other sleeping together all of that yeah
00:04:19.220 like did did you think that he had the money to like you know look after a child or look after
00:04:24.940 a family do you think he was in a situation to do that i thought the way this person played
00:04:33.180 themself out to to be to me that's what i thought but so he sold you a dream but 100 is it how 100
00:04:42.100 i don't want to get too into my business but no no okay like how can like because like people are
00:04:48.520 people people are um very manipulative and i guess at the time i was very naive i was very blindsided
00:04:57.300 um and that's a part of myself that i'm not proud of but it is what it is it's like i was i was able
00:05:05.100 to be i allowed myself to be sold that dream from somebody and now i see that person i see you know
00:05:11.440 i mean it's like wow like how did you have is he tall um five ten five ten how tall are you
00:05:18.900 five some like five something don't you know your height like listen listen um i think i'm like
00:05:26.560 five eight five nine okay like what is he a attractive guy is he attractive yeah he's good
00:05:32.260 looking good looking guy is that the first thing that that pretty much attracted you to him yeah
00:05:36.600 no no it wasn't actually it was it was the intellect it was the conversation it was the
00:05:41.840 that kind of vibe okay can i ask a quick question i guess before having the child what
00:05:48.580 personality traits did you see within him that you thought would make him a good a great father
00:05:53.120 um just from i i'd never had that connection with a guy before like the intimacy like i was saying
00:06:02.080 like the conversations the connections his experiences the way just the way he spoke the way he carried
00:06:07.860 himself and i've i thought like wow finally i've actually met somebody who is on my you know when you
00:06:17.140 see intimacy and connections i just think that he was laying good pipe yeah to be honest what i think
00:06:22.360 i'll just be real with you no because that's very important now but hold on think about it yeah
00:06:26.200 because there's plenty of guys that could be nice guys or in you know great to talk to but if they
00:06:31.120 don't lay down good pipe you're gonna be like yeah no of course of course but separately from that
00:06:35.980 separately from that it's like yeah yeah yeah no because yeah but i was paying attention to the
00:06:43.380 answer because i asked specifically what were the personality characteristics or traits that you
00:06:47.080 thought would make him a good father and i thought that it was really interesting that the answer
00:06:52.460 was things or in a relationship that you liked about him so was there perhaps a degree of you
00:06:59.560 didn't consider father characteristics within him before i actually having a baby with him i actually
00:07:04.880 did like i think there was times that even i was thinking like oh my god i could even see myself
00:07:09.700 being with this person and imagining myself having kids with this person or having a child with this
00:07:14.560 person like those things were there you know it's not just some it wasn't just some like oh yeah like
00:07:21.480 can i ask you something like why like and i realize this isn't a criticism because i understand we
00:07:28.360 the circumstances we're in we're in but like i don't understand why people have a child with
00:07:33.800 someone which is a lifetime commitment but they don't have a commitment from that person you know
00:07:39.480 marriage or like like an actual relationship that's long term because marriage is not for everyone
00:07:46.120 but i i do believe the structure of marriage is important i think you know in terms of that so what
00:07:52.360 would you say convinced you if this man wasn't willing to marry you why would you be willing to give him
00:07:58.080 your womb i think it was not the conviction it was more of the i can't have an abortion
00:08:03.700 that's what like so did you purposely get you said you guys discussed having a baby no no i never said
00:08:09.800 that i never said that you said it was both of your decisions to have the baby i thought the question
00:08:14.440 was after you found out that you was pregnant but there's 31 there's 31 forms of birth control did
00:08:20.100 you get pregnant on purpose to try to lock him down into a relationship because most women in
00:08:25.080 situationships one why weren't you using birth control and i'm not it's not a criticism sweetheart
00:08:30.700 like like i promise you this is not a criticism i think it's important because i think you have a
00:08:35.080 lesson to teach other women and younger women no no no and this isn't a criticism i know your child is
00:08:40.520 beautiful you love your child and you are doing what you can like i know the circumstances that
00:08:46.380 you're talking about but so other women can kind of learn from what you're talking about
00:08:50.080 did you feel as though if you had a child with him in this situation ship he was not committed to
00:08:55.300 you wholeheartedly he wasn't dedicated wasn't in love with you wasn't saying you are my woman i'm
00:09:00.200 i'm going to provide and protect for you did you feel as though having a child with him would kind of
00:09:05.320 force him into it absolutely not absolutely then why didn't you use birth control if you knew this
00:09:10.220 man was not dedicated to you why would you choose to have a child with a man who didn't love you
00:09:14.620 it was just i don't know i thought at one point like i thought that's where it was going love
00:09:20.240 before i found out but before but why not wait until it was done and deal do you think it's like
00:09:25.260 maybe the way you were raised your family circumstances i think it was just you didn't
00:09:28.100 see it was model are you are you just in love with him and you hope that it would go that way
00:09:33.140 it was like a hope the child was definitely not something to keep him at all that that's that's never
00:09:38.760 been in my nature it was the first time i'd ever been pregnant as well and i'd never been through
00:09:43.400 an abortion and i was 24 years old and a lot of friends that i have have been through like
00:09:51.280 abortions and this and that like it's normal but why not birth control is what i'm saying it's like
00:09:56.800 i was just being irresponsible um i was on but why but why because your womb so is the most valuable
00:10:04.240 thing of of you as a woman so the birth control that i was on before um made me just constantly
00:10:10.660 like but why not use condoms why not use condoms it's not your husband you don't know and he's not
00:10:16.640 even your man he's like for everybody responsible babe that's it literally okay no no no i i'm not
00:10:22.500 saying as a judgment i just wanted to hear that because i feel like a lot of girls a lot of young
00:10:26.200 girls are in that same situation a lot of older women let's be honest are in the same situation so
00:10:31.300 it's just is this important information because i feel like you're being very honest right now yeah i'm
00:10:35.980 transparent i know how to be yeah no you're doing you're doing good um but do you think do you
00:10:41.300 think dating is easy for women though in general like modern women like girls your age um i feel
00:10:47.460 like it's i feel like a lot of women um just from what i hear stories and things you see online i think
00:10:56.540 it's easier for women nowadays not necessarily like serious because you're saying dating you're not
00:11:02.060 really saying like serious relationships marriage and things like that you're saying dating with a
00:11:06.000 goal leads into relationships and marriage in it so that's the first well people don't usually just
00:11:11.200 jump straight to marriage in it like no obviously but some people date and they don't end up getting
00:11:15.500 married so yeah but what i'm saying is that's the first phase like you have to pass the first phase
00:11:20.960 to get to the next phase so what i'm asking is do you think it's easy for women in that first
00:11:25.100 initial phase to get what they want in this day and age yeah i think so okay as many of you know
00:11:31.000 i was just banned on tiktok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform if you want to
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