00:00:00.000But if you don't want to deal with that baggage, then don't date them and you know, but he's saying he doesn't because that's baggage to him
00:00:06.700And I think he should be it like allowed to say that
00:00:09.140Yeah, he can say that and remember men have baggage too. Let me tell you the baggage that men carry
00:00:14.280You always like you always you always do this whenever we say something about women
00:00:18.660We always have to say something about men. We do because we have to be fair
00:00:21.560Why? We have to be fair because a man though all that they get there's two things that happen
00:00:25.680We talk about, Deneva, we talk about men's baggage all the time
00:00:28.620Which baggage is it that men have then?
00:00:31.620My way that we talk about because I don't really hear them
00:00:33.860What are you talking about in the media all the time? Why is men are trash? Why is that a common?
00:00:38.020No, that's not baggage. That's that's a judgment the baggage that men carry if they're older they get as well means they either
00:00:43.600Been incels for longer or they've fucked around for longer
00:00:47.000So those two bring two problems either you're going to be insecure and think that you cannot trust any woman because you've been with too many three or fours or
00:00:53.860You're going to be very insecure in yourself in your manly hood because you've not had enough experience
00:00:58.460Some men have the insecurities and they have their baggage
00:01:00.580That's why you'd rather be with somebody that's somewhat on your level because it's easier for both of you to carry the same
00:01:13.460Some men have baggage some women have baggage but I'm saying men and we're like like men and women don't look at children the same and you can't change reality
00:01:21.240It just is what it is. Yeah, like like I've heard guys say they get more girls after they have kids
00:01:26.760I've never heard a single mother say her her dating options got better after a child. I've never heard that
00:01:32.820Like I heard I've heard guys say they brought their kid to the park because they know the girls would like, you know
00:01:39.360Men don't want to have to spread their resources to kids done
00:01:42.780And it's also like they have a lot of risk that comes with that like they have to invest in a kid
00:01:47.460That's not theirs and I don't know if you have kids and I don't know you know how old the kids are
00:01:52.180But especially if they're young they could raise a kid for 10 years and have no legal rights to that child at the end of it
00:01:57.000They've got they've got options if they want to be an involved in the child's life
00:02:01.020Obviously, it's a man's choice if they want to be that involved and have rights
00:02:04.920They they can legally adopt and give their name to that child or they are just the
00:02:10.800Woman's partner who has kids in their life right and they can and I think I think if more women would do that
00:02:17.060I thought that would help well, but I don't think that's typical with a lot of single mothers
00:02:22.340And it's not that's not what I've gathered because because you ask them like can can the dad discipline the kid as his own?
00:02:27.940So if you disagree with like he spanks your kid you disagree with it
00:02:31.180Would you let him do it and a lot of single mothers say no to that question
00:02:34.460But there are a lot more single mothers than single dads
00:02:37.620Right because the court system doesn't allow a lot of men to see their children
00:02:41.720I mean women win custody 90% of the time and
00:02:44.640And there's a lot of guys that get screwed in court and don't get access to their children leave kids a lot more
00:02:55.400Obviously, there's statistics on that, but there's also
00:02:59.680There's a big community of men that don't have access to their children and they're not being recognized
00:03:04.840Right and there's a thing where you hear this a lot you hear this a lot, but it's like
00:03:07.960There are there are stories of children that were led to believe by their mothers that their father left them and there's somehow at the blue
00:03:16.200I have a personal friend of mine for example
00:03:21.320Regain contact with his father after like 25 years or something or 10 or 15 years or minus his childhood
00:03:27.720via my LinkedIn and then found out that it was actually his mother
00:03:32.760That pushed him away, but he was indoctrinated with the belief that he was abandoned by his father
00:03:37.080So it's just like whenever I had these these kind of things. I'm not necessarily saying that not not all men are amazing fathers and stuff
00:03:43.560but there's a lot of men out here that don't have a voice and
00:03:47.240All the focus is on the women's side of things particular things particularly single fathers because
00:03:52.040I have personal experience of co-parenting right and
00:03:58.440I'm not not not I try not to like make too much of a comparison between men and women but from personal experience
00:04:06.360Women have many advantages that single fathers would dream of having
00:04:11.240Something as basic as picking up your child from nursery and having to be interrogated because you're seen as a threat because you're around little children
00:04:19.000Every single day for the next 15 to 13 years all these kind of things all add up
00:04:22.840So I'm just saying that there's there's more to it than that than just like
00:04:26.280Yeah, and I agree with you to an extent because um
00:04:28.760Incarceration like mass incarceration in america is mainly men
00:04:32.040So a lot more women are forced to be single mothers
00:04:35.240Yeah, so I agree with you. I'm just saying from society most men in the room right. Yeah
00:04:40.600When you go into a place that has lots of little children, what do you do like what's your first response?
00:04:45.480Well, I'm distancing myself as much as possible. Do you know what I'm saying?
00:04:47.720Yeah, and then can you imagine being that child that man with a child?
00:04:51.720It's like it's a it's a really really challenging dynamic
00:04:54.360Because men are portrayed as like predators way more often that it would be kind of scary because you don't want to be seen like that
00:05:00.520Like you like you want to be like loving but you also feel restricted by how society views you
00:05:05.480Yeah, and and I'd like to say too in the you in the us of there the women
00:05:10.040Are incentivized to take away the kids from the dad because they're paid more um if the if the dad doesn't see the kids
00:05:17.080They're given more money from child support, so they're literally paid to take away the kids from the dad
00:05:46.440That's something that you really shouldn't play with and you shouldn't use that to your advantage or to for power or for financial gain for whatever
00:05:52.600It is you're going to hell for that because it's your child that's yeah
00:05:55.960And taking off that point that's why I wouldn't date a really older guy because if he had kids
00:06:01.080Or if I wanted to have kids when I was like when I was my age they wouldn't be there for me
00:06:05.560They couldn't be a father figure because they would die a lot
00:06:08.440Earlier than I would and then I would be left with the responsibilities. That's actually what my dad says with dating older guys
00:06:57.880Who goes after a girl significantly younger than them is severely lacking in their life and I I mean that
00:07:07.160Confidence wise I mean like they are falling short in so many places that that is the only
00:07:13.000Place they can turn to to feel like they have they have something on the scale of power
00:07:18.600And it's I mean ultimately it's predatory
00:07:20.920I mean, there's just no way to kind of because you're manipulating someone who does is not aware of what they're giving you and it's unfair
00:07:31.320So my question is why are men called predators for going for younger women
00:07:36.040But women don't typically have that same energy for women that go for younger men
00:07:42.280I don't know exciting older women are also predators honestly
00:07:44.680Like if you're dating someone that much younger they have way less life experience
00:13:43.640That's why don't forget that women also vending they require a lot of validation
00:13:48.280So sometimes when you go for younger man that he's able to give you that
00:13:51.240But all these guys have just said that they're only looking to like not really like a long commitment with an older woman because she has like
00:28:42.040It's because of the way people are using dating apps people don't actually use dating apps to get married
00:28:46.840No, okay, so that's that's what you would think right, but it's actually it's actually the number one way people meet today
00:28:54.360That's the number one so ladies and gentlemen, that's why we have issues
00:28:59.320No, you're you're you're right you're right, but i'm saying like that's if that's the number one way long-term relationships are forming nowadays
00:29:06.280And that's what men and women are swiping on that says something
00:29:10.280And some some apps are a little different, but they're only different by like a couple years. It's really not that different
00:29:17.000Is it like dating apps are kind of like corn they over exaggerate the reality of things you
00:29:22.920When you're going on on dating apps, you can actually
00:29:26.200Be in touch with an 18 year old where in reality if you're a 50 year old man hanging around 18 year old you're a weirdo
00:29:34.120If you're if you're hot you're hot like hot girls get swiped say like it
00:29:38.280It doesn't at what age it doesn't matter
00:29:40.120But but the point is in general men tend to like younger women and in general women tend to like older men
00:29:45.960But the exaggeration of the 18 is just an exam. It's just showing it. It's not very good
00:29:51.480And that's what people are seeing and they're looking at it's not very it's not a very good example
00:29:56.200To said it's not actually something great. It's not valid