JustPearlyThings - March 16, 2023


She refused to take accountability


Episode Stats

Length

10 minutes

Words per Minute

220.15067

Word Count

2,338

Sentence Count

219


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 There are so many different things involved in not seeing red flags.
00:00:03.720 There are so many different mental health issues.
00:00:04.960 There are so many different societal pressures.
00:00:05.800 There's so many excuses.
00:00:07.220 It's not an excuse.
00:00:08.100 You call it an excuse, but there's a reason for it.
00:00:10.560 There's a reason.
00:00:11.340 That's an excuse.
00:00:12.580 It doesn't mean it's not justified.
00:00:13.860 You sound like you have a lot of excuses for women.
00:00:15.800 I don't have excuses for women.
00:00:17.260 I have an understanding of what women have been through.
00:00:19.120 To me, it's just take accountability.
00:00:20.320 I think the conversation is like, you're trying to say everything's really black and white.
00:00:26.260 This is the reason why women leave all the time.
00:00:31.400 Relationships are so complex that looking at a stat, you can't be like, okay, well, it's women's fault.
00:00:37.780 They need to behave.
00:00:38.820 But the results is what matters.
00:00:42.000 What matters is not your feelings.
00:00:43.600 What matters is the results at the end of the day.
00:00:45.560 And so if the results are a certain percentage of women, 80%, are leaving marriages,
00:00:49.980 your feelings don't come into the situation because what's happening is,
00:00:52.900 because everyone's going to have different feelings, right?
00:00:54.760 Like, this woman said it was because of that reason.
00:00:57.120 That woman said it because of that reason.
00:00:58.400 It was because of this.
00:00:59.240 But at the end of the day, the result is it's 80% of women leaving marriages.
00:01:03.560 And at the end of the day, it's the kids who suffer because you're putting your feelings above the kids.
00:01:09.400 And this is, I'm taking out exceptions like abuse.
00:01:12.060 Outside of abuse, you're putting your feelings above the children.
00:01:15.600 Do you not think if men behave better, women would stay?
00:01:18.300 Because women, and now, you know, you have to be responsible.
00:01:21.600 You have to get a job.
00:01:22.600 But also, you have to do the domestic labor.
00:01:25.480 You have to do the emotional labor.
00:01:27.180 Men, in today's society, like, yeah, you have to get a job.
00:01:31.120 And you have to, like, help out with the job.
00:01:32.740 Isn't that a bit sexist?
00:01:34.060 Yeah, but, like...
00:01:34.980 Yeah, but, like...
00:01:36.300 I don't understand why it's okay to be openly sexist against men.
00:01:39.520 But it's not sexist.
00:01:40.380 Because what if they said if women just behaved better, that it would be better?
00:01:44.060 Because that's what you said.
00:01:45.600 You said that.
00:01:46.220 No, that's not.
00:01:47.060 No, you said, like, behave correctly.
00:01:48.680 Guys, that's the whole stream.
00:01:51.860 But I was only saying that to, like, combat saying, oh, it's the women's fault.
00:01:56.180 Or what about if the men could be a better husband and could help around the house more.
00:02:01.260 The fact that men help around the house when it's their house as well, like, that's literally what it's called.
00:02:07.120 Like, there is, like, a disparity with the amount of labor that women do and that men do.
00:02:13.280 Yeah, but men make more money, statistically.
00:02:16.000 So you could just say that men contribute more.
00:02:17.720 Yeah, men provide value in other ways.
00:02:19.100 Like, if a dude's paying my rent, he's not doing shit.
00:02:21.400 He's not doing shit around the house.
00:02:23.540 Yeah, but women also work.
00:02:25.820 So, like, they're also doing a nine-to-five.
00:02:27.720 Like, maybe they're...
00:02:29.120 So, like...
00:02:29.940 But I'm saying, statistically, men make more money.
00:02:32.540 I just...
00:02:33.120 So...
00:02:33.600 Go ahead.
00:02:34.020 I just wanted to ask, all your statistics and your percentages, all of that, where did
00:02:40.060 you find it?
00:02:40.620 Is it in the UK?
00:02:41.400 Is it in the US?
00:02:42.200 UK and US.
00:02:43.080 Which...
00:02:43.240 There's a little bit of a disparity between the UK and US, specifically when it comes
00:02:47.420 to divorce.
00:02:48.140 It's 64% in the UK, and it's 80% in the US.
00:02:52.760 And who carried out the studies?
00:02:55.040 Um, the government.
00:02:56.980 The government...
00:02:57.620 Government studies...
00:02:58.140 Took how many women?
00:02:59.000 100 women?
00:02:59.660 And then asked them about their life and then...
00:03:00.760 So, do you think, do you think if you, if you do three, four different studies and they
00:03:03.760 all come up to similar conclusions, we can, we can say that it's around 80%, 90% if you're...
00:03:08.240 Yeah.
00:03:08.720 Divorce lawyers.
00:03:10.420 Divorce court.
00:03:11.120 If...
00:03:11.660 Okay.
00:03:11.880 We're getting the statistics from there, so we can see who's initiating the divorces.
00:03:15.040 Like, someone has to file.
00:03:16.400 Right, exactly.
00:03:17.020 So, when you file for divorce, it goes on record.
00:03:19.540 Okay.
00:03:19.760 So, it's 80% of women that are filing for divorce.
00:03:22.700 How would you improve the situation for, like, I feel like you both have, like, heard, you
00:03:29.700 know, thought about this a lot.
00:03:30.900 Like, what would you say that both men and women can do to improve the situation?
00:03:35.360 I think a financial abortion should be legal.
00:03:38.440 What do you mean?
00:03:39.060 What do you mean?
00:03:39.580 Like, I think that if women have the right to get an abortion, men should be able to
00:03:42.920 get a financial abortion so they can sign off all rights and not pay any child support.
00:03:46.920 Whoa.
00:03:47.280 I would say that's one thing, because the way it is now, like, women are incentivized
00:03:51.640 to get kids off of rich guys.
00:03:53.380 Like, the NBA had to issue a statement saying that women, like, kept stealing condoms, and
00:03:57.940 I just think that should be illegal.
00:03:59.080 Like, you shouldn't be able to legally do that.
00:04:00.420 I mean, Drake had to put hot sauce in his condom.
00:04:01.660 Yeah, like, I'd say that's one.
00:04:03.320 To stop this woman from getting a baby.
00:04:04.800 There are women out there literally incentivized to try and get a rich man's baby.
00:04:08.260 That was just one story with Drake and one random lady, and it doesn't represent all women
00:04:12.120 in the world.
00:04:12.700 So, I understand that, but I do these interviews all the time.
00:04:15.520 So, I'll go on the street, I'll talk to them at, like, I'll talk to them at random people
00:04:19.160 on the street, random people in my living room, and I've had so many guys tell me stories
00:04:22.440 of girls doing this to them.
00:04:23.800 Go ahead.
00:04:24.500 And your guys' opinions favor a certain side.
00:04:28.020 So, when you go out on these ventures and you ask people, you know what you're looking
00:04:30.540 for, you know what you can put and edit and post.
00:04:33.640 Are you saying we're rigging the game now?
00:04:34.780 No, I'm not rigging the game, but you're looking for something, that's why you're going
00:04:37.680 out there.
00:04:38.000 So, you're going to speak about certain things.
00:04:39.340 I would say I get more people that disagree, to be honest, when I go out, than agree.
00:04:44.020 So, I wouldn't say I'm, like, rigging the game.
00:04:46.300 Okay.
00:04:46.540 But if you're going to have sex with a woman, sorry, am I supposed to say that?
00:04:50.380 You can say sex.
00:04:51.760 Can I say woman?
00:04:56.920 There is a chance that that woman may get pregnant.
00:05:01.480 So, if you have sex with a guy, there's a chance you might get pregnant.
00:05:04.000 Yeah.
00:05:04.500 That's on you.
00:05:05.080 So, if you get to choose not to be a mother, he should get to choose not to be a father.
00:05:09.960 Equal.
00:05:11.200 Equality.
00:05:12.120 Whose responsibility do you think it is for getting pregnant?
00:05:15.200 It's both of them.
00:05:16.500 Yeah, it's definitely a...
00:05:18.220 Yeah, but women have more to risk by getting pregnant.
00:05:22.520 Unless it's a situation of grape, you let the man inside.
00:05:27.100 So, how is it...
00:05:27.800 So, it's your responsibility if you get pregnant, even though it's...
00:05:30.780 No, I said, whose responsibility to get pregnant?
00:05:33.260 All of the power is within the woman's hands.
00:05:35.580 You have the right to say yes or no.
00:05:37.600 Once you do say yes or no, you have the right to keep the baby.
00:05:41.340 You have the right to either put the baby up for adoption.
00:05:44.500 You have the right to put the man on child support.
00:05:46.440 It's all in your hands.
00:05:47.140 We also have birth control.
00:05:48.240 You can get an IUD.
00:05:49.000 It's like 99.99% effective.
00:05:51.260 It's all in your hands.
00:05:51.500 Yeah, IUDs aren't great, though.
00:05:52.560 Birth control isn't great to be...
00:05:54.440 But I'm saying that's a better option than what men have.
00:05:57.380 Or you can require them and you sleep with wear a condom.
00:06:00.060 So, it's like, I'm saying we have all the power when it comes to sex.
00:06:02.800 And who gives birth and who picks who is born.
00:06:05.520 Yeah, nowadays a woman's...
00:06:07.060 I feel like a woman's really only going to have a kid if she really wants to.
00:06:10.180 Because there are so many ways for her to prevent that at different stages all throughout.
00:06:14.440 But I also think if there were more support for women who do want to have children,
00:06:17.860 may not have necessarily found the right man who actually wants to have a child with her.
00:06:21.640 If she was able to get more financial support, then she wouldn't feel like she'd need to
00:06:27.500 trap a man in order to get a baby.
00:06:29.600 That's a horrible excuse.
00:06:32.700 Are you excusing a girl trying to get a kid off of a rich guy because she doesn't...
00:06:37.640 I'm not trying to excuse it, but...
00:06:38.980 But that's what you're doing.
00:06:40.020 If, like, you know, childcare's really expensive, okay?
00:06:44.080 Raising a child's really expensive and it's really hard to do on your own, right?
00:06:47.740 Yeah, so you should get married.
00:06:48.660 You should get married and do it.
00:06:50.840 But what if no one wants to marry you?
00:06:52.160 Did you know that before he got pregnant?
00:06:53.240 Well, then you need to change your strategy.
00:06:56.520 Well, I'm saying maybe lower your standards then.
00:06:58.880 If no one of the guys you like want to marry you, you're probably shooting too high.
00:07:03.420 Change how you deal with men.
00:07:04.380 Just like if a dude's shooting at Victoria's Secret models and they all tell him no,
00:07:07.780 he'll probably be like, oh, let me adjust.
00:07:10.460 What if you're like, just don't see any men that you...
00:07:13.980 Sperm down her.
00:07:14.740 Yeah.
00:07:15.520 What if you're asexual?
00:07:16.840 You don't have any romantic or sexual interest ever.
00:07:19.460 You just want to live life, have a kid.
00:07:21.700 Well, isn't that selfish?
00:07:23.340 To bring a kid into a situation where there's a sexual orientation.
00:07:27.580 It's not selfish.
00:07:28.400 You don't think children need two parents?
00:07:30.580 No.
00:07:31.300 I think they need a community.
00:07:33.260 I don't think they need two parents.
00:07:34.260 This is one of the reasons why society's broken.
00:07:36.140 Because women are actually literally running around thinking that children don't need two parents.
00:07:39.900 If you're a good enough person, you can teach a child by yourself.
00:07:42.420 I just read you a bunch of stats showing that children that come from single mothers are statistically at a disadvantage in nearly every category.
00:07:51.140 That's not necessarily because...
00:07:52.020 And then you're going to tell me, oh, yeah, it's fine.
00:07:53.640 Let's rate a child by...
00:07:54.420 I think it's equally selfish if a dude does the same thing.
00:07:58.320 Like, if a dude wanted to, I don't know, adopt as a single father, like, I think that's selfish.
00:08:04.300 And even if you can, that doesn't necessarily mean you should.
00:08:06.540 Yeah.
00:08:06.980 Like, because you're putting what you want above what is best for the kid.
00:08:10.740 I think if you're adopting a child, whether you're a single person or not, I think that's a really lovely thing to do.
00:08:15.840 Because being in the care system is not fun.
00:08:18.340 And if you're a single parent, it's better than having no parent, no one to look after you.
00:08:23.320 You've got care workers in and out all day.
00:08:25.540 And also, like, I lost my train of thought.
00:08:29.100 But an ideal situation would be...
00:08:30.520 An ideal situation is two parents.
00:08:32.700 Would you not agree with that?
00:08:33.680 I would agree that you need a support system.
00:08:36.920 It doesn't necessarily mean it needs to be two parents.
00:08:40.920 You could have four parents.
00:08:42.260 You could have friends.
00:08:43.240 You could have cousins and aunties who are older.
00:08:45.700 Do you think that's the same as having a mom and a dad in the home?
00:08:48.340 I've never had both.
00:08:49.780 So I have no idea.
00:08:50.900 I could not compare.
00:08:51.820 I think if the kid has adults who love them and show that they love them openly and always,
00:08:56.240 then it doesn't matter if it's specifically a man and a woman or two parents that raise them.
00:09:00.000 It's a community.
00:09:00.820 If it's someone that shows love.
00:09:02.420 So in all the statistics that I read, they never had a father in the home.
00:09:05.820 There are so many different...
00:09:06.780 Hang on, hang on.
00:09:07.440 They never had a father in the home.
00:09:09.180 Okay?
00:09:09.740 It was single...
00:09:10.360 They never had a father.
00:09:11.200 This shows that boys and girls need both their mother and their father to be fully functioning members of society
00:09:20.440 who aren't going to be grapists, who aren't going to be prisoners, who aren't going to be, you know, misfits.
00:09:26.840 But I think this is one of the things that I can't understand why women would argue for singledom
00:09:33.320 and to raise a child by themselves and then act like it's normal.
00:09:37.720 Like it's going to benefit society.
00:09:39.880 It's not going to benefit society when it comes to prison.
00:09:42.080 It's not going to benefit society when it comes to crime.
00:09:44.700 So why do it?
00:09:45.380 I think what you've just said is that you can't be a normal functioning member of society if you were raised by a...
00:09:50.160 That's not what it's saying.
00:09:51.340 It's not that you're saying.
00:09:52.380 It's about probability.
00:09:53.800 That's not...
00:09:54.380 That's not...
00:09:54.780 We're saying...
00:09:55.340 That's what I heard.
00:09:56.400 Okay, but just because you heard it, that's not what he said.
00:09:58.900 That's not what he said.
00:09:59.640 So what we're saying is it puts you at every statistical disadvantage.
00:10:03.140 So why would you push that in a society?
00:10:05.460 I don't think...
00:10:06.720 Personally, I'm not speaking to everyone else.
00:10:09.180 I'm not pushing it.
00:10:10.160 But if that's your best bet, like, you know, then...
00:10:15.080 All you can do is your best.
00:10:17.380 And if you're doing your best, then, like, what else can you expect someone to do?
00:10:21.060 I think there's always just banned on TikTok.
00:10:24.640 And we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
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