JustPearlyThings - March 21, 2023


The PANEL Was SHOCKED To HEAR THIS


Episode Stats

Length

9 minutes

Words per Minute

192.38391

Word Count

1,812

Sentence Count

1


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 how long do you think a guy if he goes without sex like okay i'm trying to phrase this question
00:00:04.800 so how long let's say you haven't had sex with him in a month is it acceptable for him to cheat
00:00:10.240 no like like at what point of have you like not slept with your guy where it's kind of
00:00:15.280 understandable that he steps out because we could agree probably that if you haven't slept with him
00:00:18.960 in two years he's probably going to step out if my man don't sleep with me in a month i think it's
00:00:23.920 over i think it's finished with me i've got a question actually off the back of that no it's
00:00:28.480 not you it's like you not sleep yeah and all seriously never like if a guy has been deprived
00:00:34.400 for that long like get to the point of saying you've deprived me for this long i feel like
00:00:38.960 i need it and i'm gonna get it like just talk to me yeah communication yeah if he's addressed it to me
00:00:47.040 and come come to me and be like look this is how i'm feeling retta ten and i haven't tried i think
00:00:51.360 the same as an argument and i haven't tried to resolve it yeah resolve it at that point leave me
00:00:56.240 but that's i feel like but it's not that simple for a lot of guys but maybe because it's like
00:01:01.200 they lose custody to their kids no i think i know i agree it's not that simple but if you want me to
00:01:07.440 answer the question right and white no but in real life everything's a little bit more complex than
00:01:13.440 that so i get it there's exceptions of everything that well yeah and honestly i just feel like even
00:01:19.440 like me as a married person like i've told my husband this before i don't feel like cheating
00:01:25.600 is a deal breaker if i just don't feel like cheese i feel like you can literally work through anything
00:01:32.240 i really do but oh like just to answer your question right no no no yeah but at least like two months
00:01:39.840 two months okay two months two months no at least like some people will be like oh you're having sex
00:01:46.800 in two weeks yeah i was wondering what aspect are we okay so why wouldn't you be having sex with him
00:01:53.600 sometimes whatever the reason yeah i mean some girls some girls yeah you can yeah some girls do it to
00:01:59.200 like control the guy yeah sadistic i think sometimes i remember one in four marriages are sexless i mean
00:02:06.800 maybe she married she didn't marry the guy she wanted and she's not really attracted to him
00:02:10.240 anymore yeah i mean there's a million reasons i think if it started that way then it's different
00:02:14.960 if it's changed like throughout you need to look at what's changed it but sometimes it's also like
00:02:20.080 where you are at mentally yeah yeah and you feel someone who like suffers from depression that can affect
00:02:26.240 how you feel sexually yeah and unfortunately and unfortunately unfortunately unfortunately
00:02:33.920 like it's not personal to your partner but obviously it does affect your partner but you should be able
00:02:38.880 to communicate clearly why you're feeling like you're feeling so that he doesn't feel iced out
00:02:44.400 because men will actually if you if you go to he goes to touch you and you're like he's gonna feel iced
00:02:49.040 out so and then hopefully you have a compassionate partner i just don't know what you could tell him like
00:02:54.160 baby we're not gonna have sex for three months but this is how i'm feeling yeah yes can you understand
00:02:58.880 well-minded i think foundationally what helps is if both both people in the relationship can agree
00:03:05.760 that if we haven't had sex in a while there's actually a problem because one might not see it
00:03:11.680 like the woman that is withholding sex you might not see as a problem but if we can agree that i i don't
00:03:17.680 feel i have not felt like having sex with you for like over a week or two weeks she within herself
00:03:24.080 should be able to say i may not know why but this is definitely a problem subconscious yeah but you
00:03:30.000 you always know why you just need to dig deep like i knew why i and at first i was like oh i'm not too
00:03:35.120 sure and then i did and i've told him i was like this is why and he was we have an open not open
00:03:41.360 relationship in terms of other people but in terms of like openly communicating i don't feel like no one
00:03:46.720 should be having sex if you can't talk about sex you certainly shouldn't be having been in a
00:03:50.960 relationship you can't talk about sex with your partner and why you don't have sex or what you
00:03:54.240 like what you don't like etc etc and hopefully the person that you have respect you as a human being
00:03:59.360 and says okay i can see why you're going through that how like do you know how long and if you can
00:04:04.560 honestly say look i don't know how i'm gonna feel if that person then turns around and says well
00:04:10.320 i feel like at least wait a certain time period before you go okay it's been a while is anything
00:04:16.480 changing no yeah the woman should get proactive about it can i just ask a question what is the
00:04:21.840 longest has any of us been without sex in a relationship and who stopped it what's the
00:04:29.040 longest you've been in your relationship without sex so i can i yeah i just jumped in sorry i don't
00:04:40.480 know if anyone else okay i don't so one of my exes was anorexic he had an eating disorder and i used to
00:04:52.800 hate sleeping with him because i could feel his hip bones and it used to make me feel uncomfortable it
00:04:59.040 hurt and it put me off and trying to help someone overcome that and support them but also trying to be
00:05:07.520 intimate with them when you're not feeling it because it physically hurts is a hard thing to stay
00:05:11.840 in so um that was not a very sexy relationship so how long was it that was a year and a bit no i mean
00:05:22.080 how long you got without sex no no no no no no no because he started he started gaining i couldn't do
00:05:28.400 that to myself wait so did you cheat on him no i've never i've never i couldn't if i'm either in
00:05:37.440 or i'm out i don't run around in gray areas i don't it's just not how i roll so for me that
00:05:44.640 we weren't intimate for about a good it was like on and off because some i'm trying to think probably
00:05:51.040 about a good four or five months but just to clarify you didn't have sex with him for four or five months
00:05:55.920 yeah and it's because you didn't want to did he know the reason why i had to be honest in the end
00:06:02.960 do you think if the roles were reversed that you would have like taken that okay and you
00:06:07.840 know what it's interesting you're saying that i called myself out on it today because my friend
00:06:11.920 said to me that a guy she was with made a comment about her weight in the bedroom and it made me
00:06:18.000 reflect and think god i've done that to a guy and i thought who the hell am i to say that i felt bad
00:06:28.080 but then he asked me why and i i don't lie you know i'm gonna be honest with you if we're in a
00:06:32.400 relationship and um how did he respond yeah it was hard for him but then he actually got well
00:06:40.880 like he started training in the gym he started eating properly we cooked together like that's
00:06:45.440 why i think that i came into his life to help him with that it's really interesting like the
00:06:50.160 it's like it seems like men can accept criticism a lot better than women because you know it was hard
00:06:55.200 for him yeah which is why i felt really bad when she told me that story because it made me think
00:07:08.560 you know what i did that to someone and i didn't mean it in a malicious way no well you should have
00:07:13.120 told him the question he asked me the truth he said tell me i don't really i don't really felt like i
00:07:17.680 feel like yeah i mean i just think four or five months yeah you should have told him i didn't
00:07:21.680 just come out with it in a very blunt way i was diplomatic yeah but i don't know you need to
00:07:26.480 i don't think you need to wait four or five months
00:07:34.640 i know if i'm gonna be really honest it spiritually attacked me as well it didn't it didn't just get me
00:07:39.600 physically it made me feel when i'm the kind of person when i'm involved with someone i take on
00:07:44.960 everything like their emotions their aura like i feel so i just want to ask so was you not attracted
00:07:53.040 to him anymore because of that but when you got together you said this is what he was like so
00:07:58.080 surely you would know i was attracted to him it was painful to have sex with him oh because of his
00:08:03.840 hip bones sorry i thought you said you wasn't finding it attractive sorry okay it's it's also the
00:08:09.680 it wasn't sexy yeah that so what's the longest i'm waiting to hear from everybody else she's five
00:08:14.800 months no no i mean each person what's the longest each person is watching like not even 48 hours
00:08:24.880 yeah like two days no that's what i meant because that's what i meant because if you're in a
00:08:30.000 relationship yeah i can't see myself going you know what yeah it depends on the person i think if you
00:08:35.360 start no i think if you used to a close me personally after a couple of days i'm like what's
00:08:39.520 wrong yeah yeah intimacy is a big part of a relationship i think it's easy i think it's
00:08:45.360 easier to go longer if when you're not living together like me and my partner wasn't living
00:08:49.920 together so yeah that's why it probably had that time but if we were living together i 100 believe it
00:08:59.280 would have been sooner as many of you know i was just banned on tick tock and we are demonetized
00:09:05.120 on a daily basis on this platform if you want to help please consider sending a super thanks below
00:09:12.560 every donation helps and it helps make what we do possible