JustPearlyThings - April 30, 2023


The Reason Modern Women Can't Keep a Man


Episode Stats

Length

9 minutes

Words per Minute

200.1139

Word Count

1,874

Sentence Count

161


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 What up guys? Welcome to the Just Pearly Things YouTube channel and welcome to The Sit Down.
00:00:06.240 Today I have a special guest on the channel, Melanie King. Welcome to the show.
00:00:12.780 Hi guys. Hi. Tell them a little bit about your channel.
00:00:17.320 Well, my channel is just basically, you know, pointing out kind of like a lot of the foolishness
00:00:23.080 that's out here, especially that women are doing, trying to hold them accountable,
00:00:25.780 you know, giving a female perspective on things, on dating and relationships, marriage, divorce.
00:00:33.820 I've been through all of it. So, you know, that's basically what I do.
00:00:38.960 So, I'd like to start from the beginning. I got questions. Okay.
00:00:43.060 Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
00:00:44.260 So, no. So I was wondering, where are you from originally?
00:00:47.640 D.C. Well, actually, PG County, Maryland, Pretty Girl County, Prince George's,
00:00:52.400 anybody who's out there, shout out. So, but it's around D.C. D.C. area.
00:00:56.160 Okay. Did you have siblings growing up?
00:00:58.120 I do. I have two older sisters. Um, so, but they're each, one is eight years older than me.
00:01:03.860 The other one's 16 years older than me. So we're all kind of spread out.
00:01:06.840 I grew up almost like an only child.
00:01:08.880 And how did you grow up different than the women today, would you say?
00:01:12.920 Um, I was in church three to four days a week.
00:01:15.900 Okay.
00:01:16.160 I went to Christian school my whole life, Southern Baptist.
00:01:18.520 So I was raised pretty strict. Um, I grew up with a lot of strong male leaders, um, from,
00:01:26.080 and my dad, my uncles, uh, you know, that type of thing.
00:01:31.280 I also, I grew up in the Pentagon. My mother worked, um, in the Pentagon most of my life.
00:01:36.460 And so growing up and around the federal government, you're just around, like, military men and that
00:01:41.420 type of presence. And so you get used to how men are and their kind of authority and how they
00:01:46.780 do things. And it's just, it's just ingrained in me, I guess.
00:01:50.660 Yeah.
00:01:51.200 Yeah. Cause I was, I'm surprised you didn't grow up with brothers.
00:01:54.580 Like I found a lot of the girls in this space grew up with brothers, but you didn't.
00:01:58.680 So it makes sense to me that it was a military family.
00:02:01.460 Well, they, my, my parents weren't really military. It's like they had left the military.
00:02:05.940 They were more like very religious and strict. They aren't now anymore. I'm like, okay.
00:02:10.560 Right. Now they're like completely different, but I grew up that way. And then just, I was around a
00:02:16.680 lot of people who, you know, in DC, it's a very conscious area in terms of just, you know, you're
00:02:22.920 aware of social issues, you know, just being around military people in power, people, you know, um,
00:02:31.200 making a difference in the world. And so I was raised with that type of mindset.
00:02:35.160 Did you think that was good for you as a kid to grow up in like a strict household?
00:02:38.380 No, absolutely not. No, no.
00:02:41.020 Well, you came out so grounded. Like, it's not like, you know, these girls with no, you
00:02:45.420 know, no parents around that are just wild. And you know, you, when I was younger though,
00:02:49.540 I did, I knew I was different. Like I used to say all the time because girls will be talking
00:02:54.060 about certain things and doing certain things. And I would always say, I always thought naturally
00:02:59.080 like, that's stupid. Like, that's dumb. You're going to be a teen mom. Like you're going to
00:03:02.700 get pregnant or that boy is like not going to marry you. Like I wouldn't naturally think of
00:03:07.440 those things, but my parents would talk to me about it. And so, but growing up, I couldn't do
00:03:12.240 certain things. Other people could, other girls could, um, like, like I said, I couldn't wear
00:03:16.560 dresses above my knees. I couldn't, you know, and everyone else was free and I was just, I felt
00:03:22.460 restricted. Um, but I got used to it, but I didn't think it was special. I just thought I was just,
00:03:27.960 you know, my, this is what my life was.
00:03:30.360 No, it's interesting. Cause I grew up sort of, my parents were kind of like free range
00:03:34.000 parents. Okay. So I've always wondered like what it would be like to grow up in a strict
00:03:37.800 household. Yeah. My dad is strict. My mother is not. So there's like this, my father's like
00:03:44.360 ultra masculine and like hardcore. And my mother's like ultra soft feminine to the point where she's
00:03:50.940 never even punished me. Now my dad, he was a different. So I had this, it was, she would be
00:03:55.960 free range if she could, but he wouldn't let her be. So I don't know. It was a good balance. I think
00:04:01.520 that has to be good though. Has a kid to have like the masculine and feminine, you know, the
00:04:06.180 difference in parenting styles. Now I can see it, but when you're younger, it's like you, you know,
00:04:12.340 even when you're young, you just don't know better. You just feel like it's just your life. My dad's
00:04:16.360 being tough on me. I'm going to go to mom, but then mom will say, go talk to your father. Cause she
00:04:21.080 wasn't going to undermine his authority. So it was that kind of thing. So what did you do next?
00:04:25.540 You turned 18, you went to college, you got married. What'd you do next?
00:04:28.460 I went to college. Um, I dropped out. Um, and then I went on because I knew college wasn't
00:04:35.700 for me. School was never for me. I was more like, I did, I was very creative. So I ended
00:04:41.620 up getting like really good jobs. So my first job out of college, I worked at XM radio.
00:04:46.480 I got a job there and then I moved on to PBS and then I moved on to Vogue in New York. Um,
00:04:53.560 but then also I did a lot of production and things for like national geographic.
00:04:57.560 I interned at the white house. I interned at the Smithsonian Institute in DC.
00:05:02.620 So I always had like a, you know, had a lot that I had going on when I was younger.
00:05:06.700 So when, um, you got married when I got married when I was 29, so, um, I got married, uh, and
00:05:16.420 then I had two, my two daughters and then I got divorced. I was married for about 11 years
00:05:22.680 or so. Yeah. And how did you, cause a lot of times, um, women seem to think that they
00:05:27.800 have to have one or the other, like they can't have a family and a career. And you, you seem
00:05:31.220 to have been able to do both. I never wanted a career. I grew up, um, cause in the religion
00:05:36.200 that I was in Southern Baptist, being a housewife was aspirational. So I never wanted a career.
00:05:42.000 So that I would just, that's why I didn't want to finish school. I just wanted to float around
00:05:45.100 and experience different things. I was like, Oh, it'd be cool to work at XM radio. Oh,
00:05:48.960 it'd be cool to work at PBS. It'd be cool to work at Vogue. And so I just, I just want,
00:05:53.700 I just got jobs just to try them out. But I always, my destination was to find a husband,
00:05:59.260 um, and be a stay at home mom. Like is that's what, how we were raised. That's how I was raised.
00:06:06.280 My parents didn't make me or put that in my mind, but there were a lot of women I knew
00:06:11.060 like that. And I was like, that seems pretty, pretty cool. Were you able to do that to be
00:06:18.540 a stay at home mom? Yeah. I haven't worked a job, a real job in 17 years. Oh my gosh.
00:06:22.820 That sounds amazing. Worked a real job in 17 years. So, uh, so yeah, you know,
00:06:28.980 somehow it worked out for me, but I was raised like, again, in an environment that like taught
00:06:36.600 me, like, like a lot of women nowadays, like submissions are dirty work. Like this was what
00:06:41.100 I cut my teeth on, like submission wives, submit yourself to your husband and men were the leaders
00:06:46.300 and authority. We were serving the men food. Like you listen to what a man says. He's the final
00:06:52.100 authority in a household. You, you can't talk to him a certain way. You know, like I was
00:06:57.680 raised that way. So to me, it was a natural transition. I think a lot of women today, they
00:07:03.940 weren't raised in that environment and they're trying to learn it now, like femininity and
00:07:08.600 submission and serving a man a plate or to me, those are bottom of the barrel basics. Like
00:07:13.480 that should be standard model for every woman. Why do you think it isn't? Um, I think, I think,
00:07:20.100 I mean, there's a, there's layers to it. Um, the household that people are raised in, um,
00:07:27.340 the philosophies and how people are raised, like, uh, say if someone's raised in a single
00:07:31.660 mother environment, a lot of times a girl in that environment almost has to be masculine,
00:07:37.620 be like a man, take care of things very early. Um, and if there's toxicity, you know, negativity
00:07:44.380 about men, if she doesn't have positive male role models, men to practice these things on,
00:07:49.580 or she doesn't see it demonstrated, it's just not natural. And, and if you know, in society
00:07:54.740 and modern media, no one puts this out there, you know, it's actually put down and it's seen
00:08:00.560 as almost shameful and being independent, free of a man and his authority is the dominating
00:08:07.740 thought process nowadays, or how girls are being raised. And even women who have had fathers
00:08:13.500 in the home, they're so concerned about their daughters not succeeding is like, you know,
00:08:18.000 grow up and get your education, get your job. You know, you don't, even a lot of fathers nowadays
00:08:23.420 are saying you don't need a man. And so I think that's why, like, there's no one, no one pushing
00:08:30.040 it. No one cares until they hit a certain point in the dating world and they realize it's important.
00:08:35.440 You know what I noticed too, that a lot of people from two parent homes, like the mom wore the pants
00:08:40.820 in the relationship. So they never really saw what a traditional relationship looks like,
00:08:45.700 where the, where the man leads, because the woman's running the household. I mean,
00:08:49.080 they say happy wife, happy life for a reason, right? Yeah. That her happiness will determine
00:08:53.740 the happiness of the family. Exactly. That, that is what people say. And see,
00:08:58.240 I never grew up with any of that. And, and I never had that modeled to me, or said to me,
00:09:05.700 or the men were the leaders. Like, it's just what it was. Um, from, from my home to school,
00:09:13.220 because I was in Christian school my whole life. Very, very strict Christian school too.
00:09:16.700 And a Catholic school. Okay. So a Catholic school, the same thing. It's like, you know,
00:09:20.560 it's just, it is what it is.