In this episode, we discuss the lack of communication in relationships and how it can be a massive red flag in the opposite gender and how to deal with it. We also discuss the difference between men and women when it comes to communication and why communication is so important in a relationship.
00:08:36.240no my signal's bad up here oh get her the wi-fi we'll fix it don't worry
00:08:44.240we got good service up here you can come on rome that's all right
00:08:56.420how many so would you be comfortable if he had four female friends that were trying to sleep with him all
00:09:05.720all the time no no but is this a bit of a double it's okay it's okay but is this a bit of a double standard
00:09:14.400the four guys that i would class with my friends they're not my best friends okay there's a degree of separation
00:09:21.180they're just friends but you do talk to them about him yeah like i may go to advice here and there but i know a best friend is someone who you speak to me speak to continuously every day
00:09:31.500okay we'll try one more time for fun i'm here to have a good time you know
00:09:38.500yeah i don't want to say that's all right just keep your sound on in case they i'll let you you put your sound on
00:09:58.500if they call back feel free to answer okay all right what about you red flag on a first date
00:10:04.040we're talking about surface level red flags has to be uh not taking care of yourself so
00:10:10.620the way that would show up on a first date would be drinking vaping
00:10:14.240yeah those would be the obvious ones okay and will you ghost after will you send her a text
00:10:20.620like you're not interested anymore either one which one do you do more
00:10:26.480i don't really go on dates but you know you don't go on any dates not not has to has to break a major
00:10:33.540barrier to even get to that point so i'm not even risking i'll never risk being on a date and then
00:10:38.860finding out about the red flag you know i mean i have to have a high level of confidence even
00:10:42.740so you have to like be friends with her first before you take her on a date not to say friends
00:10:47.080but be you know familiarized yeah you have to like know her you wouldn't meet her off an app or anything
00:10:51.320no no i mean you could meet but it have to be like some some investigations and some interrogation
00:10:57.140you'll go through her ig yeah whatever speak a good amount understand yeah what is this person
00:11:02.280about okay and no no ghosting it's like 50 50 yeah either one no no affinity to could be ghosted
00:11:11.200could be very straightforward and just let them know dimitri back in the day well so the again it's
00:11:17.120like how you meet the person matters like for example today in 2023 i find that some women
00:11:21.660as i'm seeing the internet and it appears some women have penises that would be a very big red flag
00:11:26.140uh an immediate disqualification um but if i were to be honest like because i can talk more honestly
00:11:33.240now because like i have no skin in the game it's just be she's fat like that's just like sorry but
00:11:37.640like you made a critical error in your decision making and i see you as a risk uh to any potential
00:11:43.020anything period and i can go much deeper into that but that's like a that's a miscalculation
00:11:47.440on your part so it's a no okay so but you wouldn't know if she was fat before the date well again i'm
00:11:53.340saying it's like the context of what do i know because like like i can see obviously like we can
00:11:57.500get catfished into that so if you misrepresented yourself that's like you're immediately an
00:12:01.640untrustworthy person what what was like a red flag on a first date like it's going well and then
00:12:06.440she but she did um my goodness man i mean how transparent i mean again like there's you can
00:12:13.260list them all go on like like the thing for me is like transparently like i'm a salesman and i know
00:12:19.460like i am i am a salesman and like as the salesman my goal is always to close and so when i went on a
00:12:24.580date like transparently my goal was to get laid and it was specifically entirely to get laid and everything
00:12:29.760i did and the way i optimized my actions through and that sounds like a psychopath but the way that i
00:12:34.220optimized my actions through a number of iterations of dates was like i want to get laid on this date
00:12:37.840right um and and and again i'm gonna get like super castigated for this in the comments good
00:12:43.740great like i had gone on enough dates because i started approaching women and i started like hey
00:12:48.660what's your name hey i thought you were cute i wanted to say hi i'm not at the level of these
00:12:51.580results guys now are but i was very passionate about that because i like to make myself uncomfortable
00:12:56.420and cross the barrier into the new comfort zones right which is i'm a salesman like how did i make and
00:13:01.080how do i make money i pick up the phone i cold call and i learned to iterate optimize and then
00:13:05.040transform time and energy into money right um and i became extremely proficient at like the meet and
00:13:11.000close like i'm gonna meet you and you know within about three hours because i'm gonna you know this
00:13:15.640dilute time through taking you to various venues whatever the that stuff was at the time that's what's
00:13:21.240gonna happen um so i don't know if i could so maybe she stays the night but she did something and
00:13:27.240made you not call her i'm asking like what would make you not call a girl um i think i think i think
00:13:31.620what happens is over time is if you are successful that you start to notice some pretty uh resounding
00:13:36.560patterns like if a girl says i never do this it means she always does it you know uh so if a girl
00:13:41.260starts to give me signals of virtue that i know she's actually covering for the fact that she is
00:13:45.000promiscuous um which is very i okay it is incredibly um hypocritical of me to say that obviously if
00:13:52.520i'm optimizing to get late and i'm saying well if you do it then you're whatever and you're doing that
00:13:56.140whatever right um but yeah signals of non-purity and non-chastity would be would be big um one of
00:14:01.700the things that i have some examples other than that so if she says i never do this what else yeah
00:14:06.220like like for example look when you're in a context of a date like she absolutely knows what's happening
00:14:11.620you're just trying to make it you know seem like it's not happening even though it's like it just
00:14:15.240happened but you know it's clearly happening um you know if a woman exhibits more masculine behavior
00:14:20.340for example like it's very clear that like a woman that makes decisions and acts like a man is
00:14:24.740is more promiscuous and science has actually proven that and backed that up as well um but i'll say
00:14:29.540this one thing that really attracted me uh to the woman that became my wife is that it was very
00:14:34.820apparent to me that she really wasn't that experienced um in being seduced like it was very
00:14:41.020clear to me because and and this is why this is where i have a divergence with a lot of people that
00:14:45.080follow your channel because i'm generally a pretty conservative guy right but then guys and then you
00:14:49.800would say well so you're saying you should date to marry i'm like no as a man you should date to get
00:14:53.380laid because you want to learn about the nature of women understand the patterns that they exhibit
00:14:57.780and make yourself the best version for the woman you'll eventually marry and be dangerous and have
00:15:01.860those options and a lot of guys like you can't say that you're just giving out your body it's like no
00:15:05.280guys nobody wants your body like you got to learn how for a woman to actually to actually want you
00:15:10.280like that's that's a really difficult skill to learn and a worthy one um but for me like if i can tell
00:15:16.140that she's more promiscuous um and you can tell those patterns very quickly once you've seen enough
00:15:20.400times obviously that's like okay i can't escalate but i'll but i may have kept her around for other
00:15:24.820means and purposes right transparently tell them about the one girl you dated well i'm so she was
00:15:30.620i mean i i got what i deserved she was a stripper but i was i was young at the time yeah um and she
00:15:35.480was like just she actually approached me it was at the w hotel in dallas texas i was living in texas
00:15:41.720at the time and there's a club and like i think the sub penthouse or the penthouse floor in the
00:15:44.960w hotel and she came up to me and we started talking i was just like oh my god she's so hot
00:15:49.700and she was like to me she was a 10 like she just looked like i was like i was blown away that
00:15:54.720she's talking to me and then and then i find out she's a sports fan we go to a sporting event there's
00:15:59.380all these you know players on the on the in the arena playing whatever sport and and there was i
00:16:05.720think 10 10 players on it was a hockey game and she had like gone through and she had slept with eight
00:16:10.920of them no way dude no way and then and then she started like this was after a few months that we'd
00:16:16.680been like kind of seeing each other i was young and but but she was so hot and sexually she helped
00:16:20.580me grow so much because she was so sexually like she was just like taking me on a ride i was like
00:16:24.820this is i'm calling my friends guys this is the greatest thing i've ever experienced it's amazing
00:16:28.520and she owns a house i don't know how she owns a house and it turns out i mean i was an experience
00:16:32.100that someone made me wake up i'm like i thought this was the greatest chick ever it's like no she
00:16:35.560had she owned the house in the early 20s because she was a stripper yeah and then and then it came
00:16:39.300out all the famous because she's asking me one time did you ever sleep with anyone famous somebody at the time
00:16:42.820i'm like no at that time i hadn't and then she's like oh i should tell you no i was this guy and
00:16:47.060and i realized that for her she was one of those groupie chugs that like her her confidence grew
00:16:52.740because she was able to get guys that other women couldn't because these guys actually could reject
00:16:57.200women right and then i'm like and i'm like holy crap man like no wonder she's blowing my mind sexually
00:17:02.100and i realized right away i'm like oh i can't take her seriously more but i was infatuated because i just
00:17:06.220you know i i was in my early 20s and when a woman that's that hot that she can sleep with
00:17:10.820a-list celebrities is giving you some you're just like ah i'm living in a movie but but obviously
00:17:16.920like no as a wife like that that would be a terrible decision did you ghost her or did you
00:17:22.680no i never i would never ghost anyone ever because and this is again this is implicit to
00:17:27.220like my value system i i really thought through my value system for when i was growing up a lot
00:17:30.880like i spent a lot of time by myself i wasn't the most popular kid in high school and when you're
00:17:34.840not popular and like and that's actually one thing that i think is society's missing we're missing
00:17:39.020some freaking bullying man like like we're like bullying is a it's like you're like we shouldn't
00:17:44.040bring back bullying bro for real i was bullied so much in school i think and i deserved it
00:17:50.680you really do a bit you know what i mean it makes you stronger no because it sets the boundaries
00:17:56.260like bullying is the truth it sets the boundaries on what people appreciate and don't appreciate
00:17:59.760right yeah like like i was a loser and it's okay like people are like hey loser blah blah and i'm
00:18:05.540like why aren't why are they picking me it's like oh because i don't physically defend myself because
00:18:09.000i act in feminine ways to try to resolve conflict when that's not the rules that men need to abide
00:18:14.520by right and that feedback helped me sit there and think and and iterate in my mind like what should
00:18:19.660i be doing to have better outcomes than the ones i'm getting it and this is one of the things about
00:18:23.320your channel so i've been on the show a couple times right and sometimes i peek in the comments
00:18:27.180to see what people say and here's what's interesting and i find this fascinating right
00:18:30.940when i say something to the effect of women should be held accountable and should hold
00:18:35.680themselves accountable all the guys are like dimitri spitting the facts who brought the facts
00:18:40.400right the moment i say that men need to hold themselves accountable you're a simp you're this
00:18:45.240you're that it's like no man like like a little bullying guys is not a bad thing because it helps
00:18:50.660you be better like and you owe it to yourself to make promises to yourself that you keep and follow
00:18:56.680through on so yes women should be more accountable obviously but as men we should be accountable too
00:19:02.000yeah i i think though it's because the world will show men the truth where women will say lizzo's at
00:19:08.84010 not you guys yeah but but but listen but but again i'm sorry if i'm taking air like you can cut
00:19:14.140me off but like even yesterday like the you you asked me a question like should you know would your
00:19:18.900daughter marry a bus driver i'm like hell no my daughter's not gonna marry a bus driver it's not
00:19:22.000gonna happen like as her dad i work way too damn hard i live in a too nice neighborhood i sent her to a
00:19:26.660freaking top like she goes to an elementary school that has the word college in it like when you're
00:19:31.980doing that like i'm putting her you know i'm putting her in classrooms with like kids of ambassadors and
00:19:36.080and kids of the guy that runs the stock market in our country is like that those kind of kids right
00:19:40.340i'm doing it so she doesn't marry a bus driver and so as a matter so the men go and they're like
00:19:44.080oh you don't like middle class working men that run society i'm like no that's not what i'm saying
00:19:49.980i'm saying is i don't want my daughter to marry a career bus driver because that is not the problem
00:19:54.340that a 50 year old man should be solving on how to drive the bus from point a to point b by the time
00:19:58.700you're 50 you should be running the damn organization and taking care of other employees
00:20:02.560and growing in your career that's the point yes there's nothing wrong with electricians when you're
00:20:06.78026 27 years old but if you're doing the same thing at 59 that you were 27 you're solving the wrong
00:20:12.700problems right so that's where the accountability argument comes in is that there there's a a problem
00:20:18.100that you solve but it has to be age appropriate what do you think red flag first date um a woman
00:20:25.860that's like um always talking about her ex does that happen before yeah on a first date when you
00:20:34.840get to know them and they talk about their ex about if the ex is in their life or not if i have a
00:20:38.800had a kid or and they're talking about their ex and saying how they how they broke up and things
00:20:44.420like that yeah well you ghost or or you will you send them a text and be like stop talking about the
00:20:50.520ex goodbye forever i feel like for men it's not even ghosting though because if you don't reach out
00:20:56.940they're not even gonna you know i mean it's not like ghosting it's like you're just kind of choosing
00:21:00.680to end the dialogue really yeah women will never reach out rare it's rare they have to be bold
00:21:08.440yeah do you know guys sorry about this but real quick do you know what happens when you don't go
00:21:12.780some you probably experienced this when you're like hey listen you're really cool but i see that
00:21:15.580you have some feelings and you're trying to escalate the relationship i just want to let you know that
00:21:18.900this is not going to be a serious relationship for me and you have to deal with it she just gets more
00:21:22.420attracted to you and then she just is like it's like what are you doing i literally just told you
00:21:26.420who i am why have you found that to be true too if you guys like put a girl in the the friends
00:21:32.840with benefits zone she wants you more yes yes and if you find that if you try to commit to her
00:21:40.080she wants you less yes yes yeah what do you guys have to say about that why do we do that
00:21:48.560do you guys do you guys find that you guys want guys you can't have it's that it's interesting
00:21:55.320it's that why why don't you want me that i want that why don't you want to know why you want to
00:21:59.860know why they don't want you yeah because yeah what if they said like you're annoying
00:22:04.600what can i say would you would you would you would you then stop chasing
00:22:14.740uh me personally i was i'll ask them why how no no what i'm saying they say you're annoying then what
00:22:23.180why do you think i'm annoying i dig too deep that's why