JustPearlyThings - May 14, 2023


Things Modern Women Should Start Doing


Episode Stats

Length

15 minutes

Words per Minute

203.07411

Word Count

3,118

Sentence Count

88


Summary

In this episode, we discuss what men are looking for in a woman and why they don t want them. We also talk about what women should stop doing and what they should be doing to make sure they re in a healthy relationship.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Couple months ago. I've made a list of the things that us as women should stop doing now
00:00:05.780 This is not to say that I am perfect and I've never said anything on this list
00:00:11.340 However, I just felt like this was a very very good list
00:00:16.500 So this is the things that men
00:00:18.660 Look for basically or don't want it's like want don't want kind of a combination
00:00:23.520 No top tattoos your hobbies cannot be going to the bar every weekend and going out all the time looking like a hoe
00:00:29.720 No, heavy makeup eyelash extensions. No super heavy eyeliner. No shopping addiction
00:00:34.800 No piercing except ears be ready to be able to get ready in 30 minutes or less no super long fingernails
00:00:40.680 Do not be an idiot. Do not be a beautiful majestic creature
00:00:44.940 Girl she has to have a fitness routine good with kid knows how to cook coachable teachable feminine
00:00:50.860 Do not be a feminist men want women that work hard, but not too hard and at the right things
00:00:56.060 They do not want a girl that wants a career more than a family. This is my favorite one the words. We're gonna stop saying
00:01:04.940 Partner horoscope signs looking for a connection energy trauma toxic masculinity my truth
00:01:11.740 Healing my narcissistic ex-boyfriend my abusive ex-boyfriend grape accusations. Don't judge. Yeah, but
00:01:19.020 Manifesting equals I want to do no work and still get the outcome. I want as a woman
00:01:23.820 We know you're a woman. I did too much and I let him walk all over me equals
00:01:28.840 I like cheaters and toxic men and I will choose them and be toxic as well and not admit my part that I had any part to play except quote-unquote giving too much
00:01:38.060 Generational trauma I make the same mistakes that my parents make and I'm too dumb to learn from their mistakes
00:01:43.060 And instead I will make the same mistakes, but blame it on them. I'm in my feminine energy
00:01:48.620 Men always stare and approach me. I will be submissive for the right man
00:01:53.980 Men are trash equals I take no accountability for the negative part that myself or any women play in relationships
00:02:00.560 He needs to make six figures equals I have no emphasis on character
00:02:04.680 I don't need a man, but I want to man my ring costs this much financial abuse. I became feminine
00:02:10.700 I need a man to maintain you we need to vibe I feel like I'm a traditional when I am single
00:02:17.820 Manish, I will be submissive for the right man who hurt you internalized misogyny. I'm leveling up altogether
00:02:24.640 I need a man to be on my level. I'm a boss, babe. I'm a bad bitch
00:02:30.200 These men are broke and dusty's I am the table. I am a ten
00:02:34.920 He needs to add to what I have going on in my life not all women equals that is a problem with women, but I won't admit
00:02:41.580 It's a problem
00:02:43.580 I
00:02:45.360 Need someone to match my energy. I still don't really know what that means. I am his piece a broken men
00:02:54.280 Men are F boys my body my choice. He hit me harder than I hit him body positivity
00:03:00.500 Manifest I am not fat. I am plus size or thick small d energy. My ex was a narcissist
00:03:08.120 I am a queen who hurt you no respect for my own mother. Yeah, I mean, how is that those all the words that you can't say? Yeah
00:03:15.620 What can we say then?
00:03:17.620 I have a list
00:03:20.260 Don't worry. I'm I'm so here to help
00:03:23.300 All right, and this is collaborative so if you guys have anything you want to add to it, you know
00:03:30.260 Feel free phrases to add I trust you I support you whatever you say, honey. Thank you. I have your back
00:03:36.440 I'm making this for dinner tonight. I believe or I think what can I do for you? How can I help? I'm proud of you
00:03:42.540 I believe in you. I couldn't do this without you. I need you. I love you. I miss you. I care about you
00:03:46.740 I want you. I admire you
00:03:48.740 Oh gosh, I always forget this one's on. I'm not reading that. Are you inspired?
00:03:52.500 No, don't do that. Don't do that pal, man. Read that
00:03:54.980 I do this every time. I hate reading this one
00:03:57.200 Get in the bedroom and drop your pants before you go to work
00:04:00.420 Yeah, man. I feel like that
00:04:01.240 You inspire me, huh?
00:04:02.600 I get so red
00:04:04.000 Thank you for working so hard. Babe, I know you didn't mean it. I'll let it go. It's not a big deal
00:04:08.740 I love that. I love that
00:04:10.180 I actually love that
00:04:10.980 At least they were shorter than you
00:04:12.180 I'm like that was shorter, you know
00:04:14.100 Well, you know, we can add more if you have things you want to add to it. It's really collaborative
00:04:17.860 I've worked with a lot of people on this. Okay, cool
00:04:20.900 I think that whatever you say, honey, that's the only thing that depends on the context
00:04:26.500 Exactly, and I was thinking that as well, yeah
00:04:28.100 It can be a little bit like, oh, you know, like, oh, I have to do it again
00:04:32.580 I just, you know, you, you, it depends on the context
00:04:36.500 See, this is where the good women are gone
00:04:38.980 If you're with the right Roman, that won't happen
00:04:41.300 If you're with the right Roman, if you're with the right man, that won't happen
00:04:44.980 It depends on the context. She's right. It does
00:04:47.860 Okay, I have to be honest. I think women that say this because I hear this a lot
00:04:53.540 It typically means I am disagreeable, and I don't want to listen
00:04:58.020 Typically and or the men I pick aren't worthy
00:05:01.940 Or like something like I like bums basically is the other like it's like a
00:05:05.780 Well, some some women pick men who are I think for their character too
00:05:11.860 Masculine, I don't want to say that because then you're going to be like feminine
00:05:15.620 No, like to you know
00:05:16.900 Like she's not feminine enough the man is really masculine
00:05:21.220 But she's in her feminine most of the time, but sometimes she's like
00:05:25.860 See, I see the language in her feminine
00:05:28.100 Yeah, I knew you're gonna pick that up
00:05:30.980 I just think it's like nonsense
00:05:34.100 Like it's just it's like these women that go on instagram
00:05:37.700 And they'll say oh i'm a feminine. I don't know if it's you. I hope that's not what you do
00:05:42.500 But like it's like i'm now a femininity coach
00:05:45.780 And there's some genuine ones. I'm not going to say there's not there are genuine ones that help do this too masculine feminine energy
00:05:54.180 The ones that I see that are full of shit because men actually look to solve problems
00:05:57.780 So if you look at like men's improvement, it's very practical
00:06:01.540 So it's very much like go to the gym
00:06:04.180 Screw a bunch of girls. So you know how to or do you know
00:06:07.700 There's an ex corn star that's been on my show. He has very practical, you know tips
00:06:12.100 I'm not my thing right, but like and or they'll do
00:06:16.580 Like go to the gym make more money women. It's very like broad like like a soft life
00:06:23.460 I'm gonna sit at home
00:06:25.620 And it's never like concrete steps
00:06:28.260 I've only had one like femininity coach give me like real concrete steps. That isn't just like journaling or
00:06:35.140 I have something to say about
00:06:37.140 feminine feminine feminine coaches
00:06:40.260 Um, they operate from
00:06:44.500 Again energy, but like what is to be feminine they tell you be creative like focus on things that make you tap into the woman
00:06:52.580 That traditional woman. That's what they are all about
00:06:55.860 Like try to for I've been in touch with some of them
00:06:59.540 They tell you like listen to music dance or create something uh with like a painting or something
00:07:06.420 Uh tangible with like artistic. Yeah, um, and to me this sounds like nothing useful to a guy
00:07:16.900 Go listen to some music
00:07:21.220 Like i'm just i just said yeah
00:07:23.380 There's only been one femininity coach that like actually talked about real stuff
00:07:27.460 And she helped me write most of these like words to add in the short term
00:07:31.300 It might seem that it's not helping but imagine
00:07:34.580 On the long term rather than a woman being in her as I say masculine energy, which is like shouting and confronting
00:07:41.780 She learns to be submissive, but like step by step
00:07:45.300 First of all by tapping into these skills then to to be comfortable just doing uh
00:07:51.140 Even something such as cooking they tell you cooking makes you tap into your feminine energy more and more
00:07:57.380 So maybe by building those little habits, uh, I think cooking yeah, I don't think cooking is bad
00:08:03.780 but
00:08:05.620 I just
00:08:07.220 You can't convince me. Do you know why why we need these now we I agree with you
00:08:11.460 I agree that it shouldn't matter
00:08:13.620 But we need these now because a lot of women and men as well forgot that
00:08:19.300 Natural state, you know, what's your natural state as a woman?
00:08:22.820 I don't know because I get really confused because I hear these like women talk about soft life, right?
00:08:27.860 But like our great grandmothers really didn't have a soft life
00:08:31.860 They were milking like at least I'm from the u.s. They're milking cows
00:08:35.060 Like have you seen amish people that's where they used to live like they do not have a soft life
00:08:39.060 Yeah, and soft life to me is living off a man. That's what I see as a soft lie
00:08:44.740 Maybe yeah, when you ask where all the women good women went I mean to me they went to confusion and independence
00:08:51.220 And this confusion is a diffused awareness because the primal nature right a man is hunting
00:08:56.980 He's directive in his focus
00:08:59.940 And a woman is diffused because she only has a certain amount of daylight hours to get as many berries as she can and she's very skilled at it
00:09:05.780 She can do it way quicker than a man apparently and it's part of our survival mechanism
00:09:10.500 And so it is kind of obtuse and broad when we think about how we go back into our feminine nature
00:09:16.580 So we're not you know in this ceo role of our families of our
00:09:21.300 um
00:09:22.100 relationships of our businesses
00:09:24.100 And then we got to come home and then deal with the reality of like, you know being a partner, which is a totally different energy
00:09:30.420 It's not you're not directive like yeah, you've got to get the meal on the table
00:09:34.020 And my grandmother my mother they worked really hard as homemakers. It was like taboo for them to work
00:09:40.340 Yeah, but my generation and our generation now. That's very it's a lot of confusion
00:09:45.460 And we're still growing into that. You know, how do we balance that?
00:09:49.300 It's just beyonce's fault
00:09:52.100 I'm being serious. She made a tune called single ladies all of these things with a ring on her finger
00:09:57.300 I think we're very capable
00:09:59.300 There's a lot of confusion about being from the night to be honest. You'll say all right from the 90s 2000s whatever
00:10:05.140 There's been a lot of independence independence. Do your thing blah blah blah blah blah cool
00:10:10.100 You can do your independence, but if you don't need a man
00:10:13.220 Then cool
00:10:15.380 Someone said modern day gathering has turned into shopping
00:10:20.340 But why do you think women are having burnout endocrine disruption?
00:10:24.260 Cancer depression, I mean there's all these issues with women's health because they're trying to be a man
00:10:31.780 I spoke to like a hormone doctor about this
00:10:34.180 He said like high strike women and men don't handle stress the same
00:10:37.620 And it really messes up our hormones being like high stress positions
00:10:41.220 And you know the medicine if you stay in your feminine energy and you come home and you look after your partner
00:10:45.380 Your man is going to want to look after and do everything in his power to make sure you're good
00:10:49.700 Yeah, that's as simple as I can explain it like as long as you stay in your feminine
00:10:55.460 And you look after that man, he's gonna do everything for you
00:10:57.860 Regardless like naturally, but earlier with what I was saying if you're not showing certain things to him
00:11:02.820 He's gonna see that cool. He's not really my kind. I'll sit back. I'm there
00:11:08.020 But I'll sit back a little bit
00:11:09.140 But if he sees you're making effort like cook like even cooking cooking
00:11:12.900 If you want to get through to a man's heart is through his belly
00:11:14.980 100% simple as that you guys in yeah, and I also I fell into the boss babe culture for a long time when I was obese
00:11:21.060 And I and then I started losing weight, but I was still in the boss babe culture
00:11:23.780 I was like, oh, I don't need a man like I'm fine
00:11:26.020 And it was when I had the daddy issues when I wasn't I didn't have good relationship with my father
00:11:29.780 And it wasn't until I held my relationship with my father that I was like, oh, okay
00:11:34.340 I actually, you know, it's really important that I I don't have to work like a man
00:11:38.100 I was so stressed
00:11:39.220 I was so anxious all the time and then I just let it go
00:11:42.100 I was like, I don't need to do that. My future husband will provide for me. My future husband will do these and I'll fall into
00:11:46.500 My feminine roles. I will cook. I will clean. I'll take care of the kids
00:11:49.460 I'll take care of the house like that and I'll be I'll garden. What did you do? Did you quit your job?
00:11:53.300 No, I just okay. I was just curious
00:11:56.740 I just I flipped two houses last year and I was like, I don't want to do this anymore. So I decided to stop doing it. That's cool
00:12:03.300 It was a miracle though, really
00:12:06.180 No, because I was the boss, right? I had to be ever the provider. I had to be everything and you didn't have that example
00:12:11.860 I think that's another part of where all the good women have gone inside of this independence inside of this confusion
00:12:17.060 It's fatherless families and like Pearl was saying earlier if you don't have the example
00:12:21.300 How are you supposed to know when you haven't had the example Penelope? So it's a miracle
00:12:25.780 Purely purely, you know, it is and it was it was like growing up with you as my mom
00:12:29.540 Like you played both roles the dad and the mom and so that was very interesting because I grew up thinking
00:12:33.620 Oh, I I don't need men like men are terrible and I even thought my dad father was terrible
00:12:37.860 But you know, he's like my best friend and I think where the good women are going is they think that it's a bad thing to be feminine
00:12:43.940 I think that the mindset of women today feel like
00:12:47.940 And now if you're feminine and traditional online people are like you're you know, you're not a feminist you hate women
00:12:52.740 You are terrible. You are a disgrace society. You should go die
00:12:55.940 And it's like wait wait what like women are the most beautiful things on planet
00:12:59.460 They create human beings men cannot create human beings. So why are women putting women down?
00:13:04.180 Well, I think it's probably because women want women to fail and see that I think
00:13:09.380 We're not supposed to be competing with our moms generation
00:13:13.140 Because the thing is like if you have a 45 year old and you have like a 25 year old girl
00:13:18.180 It's like you a lot of times the guys you might want are the same age because women like 45 tend to want guys like
00:13:24.340 It's like five to seven years younger where women
00:13:27.060 25 want guys five to seven years older this crossover and I think bitter older women that don't want you to win
00:13:32.900 We'll tell you the wrong information
00:13:35.380 And and it's because like if they're if they're being a hoe right like what's the worst feeling when you take a test and you fail
00:13:41.940 What's the worst feeling when everyone else succeeded, right?
00:13:45.940 But if you turn around and they say I failed too. It's like you feel a little bit better
00:13:49.300 So it's like these women want other people to be miserable in their negative decisions
00:13:55.140 People because of it because of succeeding in my relationship and having a healthy relationship with my father
00:13:59.220 Yeah, people dislike me for because of that and it's like why do you hate me for having a healthy relationship with my family?
00:14:04.660 Am I am I?
00:14:05.620 So would you would you say and especially I'm like they don't want you to win?
00:14:08.820 No
00:14:09.620 They don't want you to fail. They want you to be divorced, miserable, sad, fat, on your phone, on tiktok, dying
00:14:15.700 So would you say that this is like technically just a woman's problem then because it's women that it's not technically men that put down women you know
00:14:23.060 It's women that put down women the women trying to be men hurt are hurting the the feminine the not not the feminine the beta men right there
00:14:30.180 That's hurting beta men. That's why we have beta men. It's because of the masculine woman
00:14:34.180 Well, I think it becomes a problem because you have 80% of women screwing 20% of men so then women don't respect the average guy
00:14:40.980 I did a show the other day and like most women said they wouldn't date a bus driver
00:14:45.140 But they're above a bus driver average chicks
00:14:47.380 And it's why you have average chicks saying they're at the level of a celebrity no offense
00:14:51.640 But like it's like you have average chicks thinking they're they're so great when it's like literally you are average
00:14:57.400 You're average looking even average mindset most people are average and men will accept this but women won't it's like an insult for us to be
00:15:04.360 Normal so then you you won't see normal women dating normal men
00:15:07.960 But do you feel like that that is because social media has a lot to play for it? They feel like there's a lot more
00:15:12.840 I think it's so so I think it's social media and dating apps
00:15:16.040 They feel like they want more accessibility to hire people
00:15:19.240 I mean