JustPearlyThings - October 16, 2023


This HVM SCHOOLED The Panel On What Idea Marriage Looks Like


Episode Stats

Length

31 minutes

Words per Minute

214.47215

Word Count

6,738

Sentence Count

720


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 strategic decision. I'm going to go all frickin in.
00:00:03.000 That's the way it should be. That was the way you love me.
00:00:06.000 That was my choice. And I admit, it might not be the most,
00:00:09.000 because people are going to say, oh, but you're a businessman.
00:00:11.000 You're making a, you know, not a risk mitigating decision.
00:00:14.000 I made a choice. But, you know, I'll tell you something.
00:00:16.000 My wife's told me this many, many times, like sort of in a playful way,
00:00:19.000 kind of talk, you know, because we have hard conversations sometimes.
00:00:21.000 She's like, look, if you divorce me, I don't want any money.
00:00:23.000 She just said, I just want to make sure that I have the kids.
00:00:25.000 And I said, that's great. That's what I want, too.
00:00:28.000 Right. But that's it. But I made that decision.
00:00:31.000 I made that decision to step into that and say, I'm going to risk everything,
00:00:35.000 because maybe it's a courageous, you know, delusion that I had at the time.
00:00:38.000 And maybe I'm just lucky that it worked out the way it has so far.
00:00:41.000 So would you say that there's no wrong or right when it comes to that kind of decision?
00:00:45.000 Like, is it down to you as an individual?
00:00:47.000 Because it is like a business kind of marriage, marriage to marriage to me was,
00:00:51.000 look, look, again, 85% of the lawyers.
00:00:53.000 Are the laws different in the country you're in?
00:00:56.000 I got married in Canada first.
00:00:58.000 Oh, okay. Imagine worse.
00:01:00.000 That is a terrible place to do it, right?
00:01:01.000 Okay.
00:01:02.000 Really?
00:01:03.000 Why?
00:01:04.000 Well, because the Canadian court system just is like Australia or the US.
00:01:08.000 It just really favors women.
00:01:09.000 Yeah.
00:01:10.000 But you know what?
00:01:11.000 But I felt like I vouched my wife's character.
00:01:13.000 You know what's crazy is my wife's never had a public Instagram.
00:01:15.000 I'll just tell you right now.
00:01:16.000 She never had it.
00:01:17.000 And by the way, people that meet my wife, they're like, wow, Dimitri, like, really?
00:01:19.000 Like, they're impressed that I got a girl of that caliber because she's, you know, 5'10 blonde.
00:01:23.000 Don't nod your head.
00:01:24.000 You've met her.
00:01:25.000 No, not cool.
00:01:26.000 You know, my wife's like, like, I have a type and it's her.
00:01:29.000 Like, 5'10 blonde.
00:01:30.000 Like, you know, people say, wow, is she like a model or something?
00:01:33.000 Because, you know, so I did well in that regard.
00:01:35.000 But I vouched her.
00:01:36.000 I like vetted her character.
00:01:37.000 So, like, no public Instagram.
00:01:39.000 I'm going to say this.
00:01:40.000 No tattoos.
00:01:41.000 No piercings.
00:01:42.000 Okay, hate me.
00:01:43.000 I don't care.
00:01:44.000 No tattoos.
00:01:45.000 No piercings.
00:01:46.000 No public Instagram.
00:01:47.000 Great relationship with her dad.
00:01:48.000 Her dad's a heart surgeon.
00:01:49.000 Like, incredible, like, successful, stern man.
00:01:50.000 Great relationship.
00:01:51.000 One of three sisters.
00:01:52.000 She's the oldest of three.
00:01:54.000 Educated.
00:01:55.000 Could have a lot of dudes.
00:01:57.000 Chose not to.
00:01:58.000 And, in fact, I was my wife and I have my wife's first and only serious relationship.
00:02:03.000 Wow.
00:02:04.000 So, I guess if you choose right, you don't need to choose for life.
00:02:08.000 Well, and of course, like, what bigger decision can a man make than to get married?
00:02:11.000 Like, everything right.
00:02:12.000 But I kind of hear what he's saying.
00:02:15.000 I think when you're looking for a partner, you need to actually look at, do they actually,
00:02:21.000 the little things, does it match with the person?
00:02:25.000 And if the little things match, and if you can deal with one another's differences in opinions,
00:02:31.000 I think that's a winner because then you're showing that you have respect and you're listening
00:02:36.000 and you're working as a team.
00:02:38.000 How a relationship should be.
00:02:40.000 So, I have a question.
00:02:41.000 Can I finish my...
00:02:42.000 Sorry.
00:02:43.000 Go ahead.
00:02:44.000 Go ahead.
00:02:45.000 I was going to say, so I'm sitting with my mentor.
00:02:46.000 I'm 22 years old.
00:02:47.000 I remember it very vividly.
00:02:48.000 Like, I got to the party late.
00:02:49.000 You know what I mean?
00:02:50.000 Like, I didn't kiss a girl until I was 20.
00:02:51.000 And then, like, I'm 22 and I'm single and I'm frustrated.
00:02:54.000 And my life is not going the way I want it to go.
00:02:56.000 And I'm like, why am I, like, why...
00:02:58.000 By the way, by 23, a lot of things.
00:03:00.000 I bought my first house at 23 and I was a full-time university student.
00:03:03.000 So, like, there was a lot of changes that I was undergoing.
00:03:05.000 Like, I started going to the gym.
00:03:06.000 I started doing things that sucked.
00:03:08.000 Like, I took cold showers every freaking morning.
00:03:10.000 In fact, my 1988 Toyota Corolla, actual 1988 Toyota Corolla that I took a girl on a date on,
00:03:16.000 told me that she'll never go on a date with me again because my car smells like old people.
00:03:19.000 And she thought I was a psycho, which makes sense because my Corolla had a Ferrari sticker on the steering wheel.
00:03:23.000 Tony Robbins, no, it was Napoleon Hill, secrets of whatever, Napoleon Hill playing.
00:03:27.000 And motivational quotes posted on all the mirrors.
00:03:29.000 So, I look like a crazy person, right?
00:03:31.000 Okay.
00:03:32.000 So, anyways, 22, I'm sitting with a mentor of mine.
00:03:34.000 I'm like, and I said, dude, like, how do I get a happy and successful girlfriend?
00:03:38.000 I want a girlfriend.
00:03:39.000 You're saying you've done the mentoring for the girlfriend.
00:03:42.000 Well, I just, that's who I was at 22.
00:03:44.000 Yeah.
00:03:45.000 I respect it, though.
00:03:46.000 Yeah.
00:03:47.000 I was born with it.
00:03:48.000 I was born with it.
00:03:49.000 I was born with it.
00:03:50.000 I was born with it.
00:03:51.000 Some people are born with it.
00:03:52.000 Some people are born with it.
00:03:53.000 I went through that other phase two, by the way.
00:03:55.000 You must have done it all.
00:03:56.000 I went through that.
00:03:57.000 And if you're listening to Napoleon Hill at 22, wow.
00:04:00.000 Wow.
00:04:01.000 Because, well, guys, because I lived in the actual projects.
00:04:07.000 Well done.
00:04:08.000 Like, I lived, like, you know, the projects are social housing.
00:04:10.000 Yeah.
00:04:11.000 Have you introduced you to him?
00:04:12.000 Literally, I was rollerblading and somebody recruited me to go into sales.
00:04:16.000 Like, hey, you look really motivated.
00:04:17.000 Come to sales.
00:04:18.000 And I'm like, oh, they think I'm motivated.
00:04:19.000 I'm just poor.
00:04:20.000 I'm just poor.
00:04:21.000 But here's the, and by the way, like, so he, I said, how do I get a happy and successful girlfriend?
00:04:25.000 At the time, I was just, I just wanted a girl to like me.
00:04:27.000 I wasn't thinking about, like, anything else.
00:04:29.000 Yeah, of course.
00:04:30.000 He goes, oh, that's easy.
00:04:31.000 You just have to be happy and successful.
00:04:32.000 Yeah.
00:04:33.000 And I thought about that a lot.
00:04:34.000 And it comes back to, you know, McConaughey quote.
00:04:36.000 He does the thing like, don't chase a butterfly, build a garden.
00:04:39.000 The butterflies will come.
00:04:40.000 So a mentor of mine that had a really huge impact on my life.
00:04:43.000 Like, he really told me, like, he's like, just build your own value.
00:04:47.000 Focus on you and do everything you need to do to be the most attractive guy to the women around you.
00:04:51.000 Because I wasn't an attractive guy to women around me.
00:04:53.000 I was rollerblading to university in the 1988 Corolla was falling apart.
00:04:56.000 The driving test I took the first time, he didn't let me drive the car.
00:04:59.000 He didn't let me drive the car.
00:05:00.000 I said, I borrowed my dad's car because he said the car does not look safe.
00:05:04.000 So, you know, at 22, I'm not a good prospect for women.
00:05:06.000 So, like, now my mind changed.
00:05:08.000 Like, oh, it's not that I'm not good at getting women.
00:05:11.000 It's that women don't want me.
00:05:13.000 Why not?
00:05:14.000 Well, because I'm 22 and I was, at the time, I was going to university.
00:05:17.000 I was professionally gaming.
00:05:19.000 I was playing games 14, 15 hours a day.
00:05:21.000 I stunk.
00:05:22.000 Why do you think you were able to take that feedback where most women, if you say the men you want, don't want, they get offended?
00:05:29.000 Because the pain of staying the same was greater than the pain of change.
00:05:32.000 It just hurt too freaking much.
00:05:34.000 To be fair, at 22, men are at that level where they're not as highly, you know, I'm talking from a perspective of a 22 year old man and a 22 year old woman.
00:05:46.000 Yeah.
00:05:47.000 Yeah.
00:05:48.000 A 22 year old role, a 22 year old woman is a lot more desired than a 22 year old man at that stage.
00:05:55.000 Yeah, but we could use the opposite, like a 42 year old man and a 42 year old woman.
00:05:59.000 Yes.
00:06:00.000 The man's going to be a lot more desired than the woman.
00:06:02.000 Definitely, because now he's in his game.
00:06:05.000 It actually, it switches for women about 30, according to dating apps.
00:06:08.000 I do know.
00:06:09.000 Yeah.
00:06:10.000 Yeah.
00:06:11.000 It's all facts.
00:06:12.000 It's like where the tables turn.
00:06:13.000 Well, and there's a wisdom there, too.
00:06:15.000 Like, why did I get married?
00:06:16.000 I'll say why.
00:06:17.000 I have friends that are 40 that are very successful.
00:06:18.000 They never got married.
00:06:19.000 Right.
00:06:20.000 I kind of looked at it like I understand, obviously, that men's value grows with time and women's value, like whatever you call sexual market value goes down.
00:06:27.000 Yeah.
00:06:28.000 Yeah.
00:06:29.000 Yeah.
00:06:30.000 It goes.
00:06:31.000 But that's like what actually, in my opinion, this is an opinion.
00:06:32.000 In my opinion, that's what makes a successful man.
00:06:34.000 A man who can be dangerous, but chooses not to be and chooses to control it.
00:06:37.000 That, to me, is like a really high aspiration for a way of living.
00:06:40.000 And I might be wrong, but I love that.
00:06:42.000 I love that.
00:06:43.000 I love the aspiration of being able to do the things that are dangerous, but choosing to control that danger.
00:06:48.000 So I have a question with the prenup stuff.
00:06:51.000 I feel like it's tough because it's almost like if you have a kid, you're screwed anyway.
00:06:57.000 Yeah.
00:06:58.000 When it comes to marriage.
00:06:59.000 I've been doing this documentary on the court system.
00:07:01.000 But even so, I just don't think I could ever advise a guy not to get a prenup because just the outcomes are so catastrophic.
00:07:10.000 Especially when I'm learning about men committing suicide a lot during that process.
00:07:15.000 Huge.
00:07:16.000 Huge.
00:07:17.000 I started asking Uber drivers that I drive with.
00:07:20.000 And I'll just start asking them questions.
00:07:22.000 And I found out like, I would guess like one out of four of my Uber drivers, they somehow were in the court system in some way.
00:07:29.000 So it's like all these men that were just financially ruined at their 40s or their 50s to the point they're never going to come back.
00:07:35.000 So do you advise men to like do the same route that you did?
00:07:39.000 Because I would just have a hard time doing that.
00:07:41.000 You know, I'm a logical guy and I like to think of like in things about mitigating risk.
00:07:45.000 Probably I made a very suboptimal decision.
00:07:47.000 I'm very happy with my decision.
00:07:50.000 It was a personal choice for me to, you know, I get really hard for commitment.
00:07:55.000 I get hard for discipline.
00:07:56.000 It's just how commitment turns me on.
00:07:58.000 I've done one thing in my life, you know, at a university selling door to door.
00:08:02.000 I started a company that's, I sold suits door to door in office buildings, which has just grown to 20 countries.
00:08:07.000 We now have over 100 people working at our company.
00:08:09.000 I've only, that's the only thing I've done.
00:08:11.000 I don't like jumping around.
00:08:12.000 I don't like to, I don't like to look for success in places that I don't know they exist.
00:08:17.000 I don't like to, I don't like to look at my neighbor's lawn.
00:08:20.000 I like to fertilize my own lawn.
00:08:22.000 So for me, that decision of commitment was actually bigger than the risk that I felt.
00:08:26.000 And that's just me.
00:08:27.000 Not everybody's going to feel that way.
00:08:29.000 And, and that's okay.
00:08:31.000 I mean, I don't think, I don't know if there's a right answer.
00:08:33.000 I think this is part, to me, it's just personal.
00:08:34.000 I was just wondering, you have so many guys you mentor.
00:08:36.000 So I was just curious if you advise them the same way.
00:08:38.000 I tell my guys this, never marry from a weak position, never commit from a weak position.
00:08:42.000 What I mean from a weak position, you know, when you see red flags and you're like, everybody's,
00:08:46.000 you know, everybody knows that you see the red flags and you choose to ignore them.
00:08:49.000 Why?
00:08:50.000 Because that's the only option you have.
00:08:51.000 And like, I tell guys in our company when they joined there in their early twenties, I'm like,
00:08:54.000 don't like, don't commit to the first girl you fricking kiss, man.
00:08:59.000 Because you're like, there's things you're not going to see.
00:09:01.000 Like go and run the hose.
00:09:02.000 Just straight up.
00:09:03.000 I go, go through the three or fours, run it, run it, run it, run it.
00:09:06.000 So that you, sorry, man.
00:09:07.000 That's a very different.
00:09:08.000 I expected you to have more of a trap kind of position.
00:09:12.000 That's very opposite.
00:09:13.000 No, no.
00:09:14.000 That is the optimal thing that a man can do is make himself as highly attractive to women
00:09:20.000 as possible, as possible to increase his pool and then pick the option that optimizes for him and then commit to that.
00:09:28.000 Now, some people might say, oh, you should have three or four wives.
00:09:30.000 Some people want that.
00:09:31.000 I don't want that.
00:09:32.000 Like, I'm happy.
00:09:33.000 What did you think about what he said earlier about guys liking alpha women?
00:09:37.000 Sometimes like certain guys.
00:09:39.000 Well, I found myself very, my mom is an alpha woman.
00:09:42.000 She's a high, high income earner compared to my dad.
00:09:45.000 So she actually, her career took off, you know, in computer science, she's got a master's computer science.
00:09:49.000 So when we moved to Canada, she was like the Soviet engineer and her career took off and my dad just remained a humble mechanic.
00:09:56.000 And so I found myself at a young age attracted to these women that were sort of like argumentative, sometimes would cause a scene in public because that's my mom and wanted control.
00:10:06.000 And I made a, and again, I started finding myself attracted to those women.
00:10:10.000 And I remember my first serious girlfriend for two years, she never cooked the meal.
00:10:14.000 She said, I think it's beneath women to cook for men.
00:10:16.000 In the bin.
00:10:17.000 It was, and that wasn't the only, and that was the only, that wasn't the only thing.
00:10:21.000 Can I share something?
00:10:22.000 Something that came in my mind, basically what you're saying is, I get it because, you know, for example, a lot of people DM me saying they talk about my chest and that.
00:10:34.000 And I'm like, is it because they've got a fat mom and they've been like, you know, when they're breastfeeding.
00:10:40.000 So that's why they DM me talking about wanting to lick my nipples and all that.
00:10:44.000 So I get it.
00:10:45.000 It comes from childhood and it comes from like little things.
00:10:48.000 Like, you know, I mean, it comes from certain feelings must come from childhood for them to have those things as adults.
00:10:56.000 And I really believe people that have fat mothers also like fat people.
00:11:01.000 There's a study that's been shown that poor men prefer corpulent, you know, larger women.
00:11:08.000 And what's interesting about that.
00:11:09.000 I'm like, I'm like, I wonder if it's because I wonder if it's because that's just the pool that they have available to them.
00:11:15.000 You know, and obviously if you grow up more, there's more likelihood you will be poor.
00:11:18.000 Like, of course there is that.
00:11:19.000 Like, we know that.
00:11:20.000 Wow.
00:11:21.000 Yeah.
00:11:22.000 Sorry.
00:11:23.000 You were going to.
00:11:24.000 No, I was going to actually like in terms of obviously every man is different.
00:11:27.000 Yeah.
00:11:28.000 You see me.
00:11:29.000 I couldn't be with a girl for two years, one year, six months.
00:11:32.000 No food.
00:11:33.000 You can't cook.
00:11:34.000 No dinner.
00:11:35.000 Are you mad?
00:11:36.000 What's going on?
00:11:37.000 You're probably just naturally better with women than I was.
00:11:40.000 I wasn't naturally good at it.
00:11:41.000 But you know what I did?
00:11:42.000 No, I'm just serious.
00:11:43.000 Like if you work where you work and you were getting some good for you, man.
00:11:45.000 I'd like to know.
00:11:46.000 You got good ribs.
00:11:47.000 I don't want to like maybe I argue and I'm being too.
00:11:51.000 No, we're talking about being picky.
00:11:53.000 Young man don't care about cooking.
00:11:54.000 They'll teach the girl how to cook.
00:11:56.000 Oh, you do care?
00:11:57.000 Very much.
00:11:58.000 And my wife cooks all the time and it's amazing.
00:11:59.000 And it's only steak at our house now.
00:12:00.000 That's the rule this month.
00:12:01.000 Steak.
00:12:02.000 I have only eaten steak at home this month.
00:12:04.000 It's the only thing I ate.
00:12:05.000 But anyways, I was intentional about it.
00:12:07.000 Again, I'll just share my thing.
00:12:08.000 Everybody's different.
00:12:09.000 I had a book, a vision book.
00:12:12.000 I believed in actualization because my mentor said you need to believe in it.
00:12:15.000 Okay.
00:12:16.000 I said, fine.
00:12:17.000 I don't believe in astrology, but I'll try this stuff, whatever.
00:12:18.000 I had a book and one of the, it was like a folder.
00:12:22.000 There was like, you know, goals in different areas.
00:12:24.000 And one of the, one of the dividers was about my ideal mate.
00:12:28.000 And I actually described very vividly with pictures what my ideal mate would be to me.
00:12:32.000 And that included not only looks.
00:12:34.000 Of course, looks was there.
00:12:35.000 It was number one.
00:12:36.000 For me, it also included, you know, background, family.
00:12:40.000 Like I got really detailed.
00:12:41.000 I have another mentor who was 39.
00:12:43.000 He sold his company at 39 for 50 million bucks.
00:12:45.000 And just look, a guy put me on the board of his fricking company.
00:12:49.000 Just, I said, dude, I'm, I was like 24.
00:12:51.000 I'm like, what are you doing?
00:12:52.000 He goes, Dimitri, I want you to just sit there and listen.
00:12:55.000 We're not going to pay you.
00:12:56.000 I just want you to sit and listen so you can be around these people and just see how they talk,
00:12:59.000 see how they think and just learn from them.
00:13:01.000 I learned a ton from that.
00:13:02.000 Right.
00:13:03.000 And, and he was like, girl's relationship with her father matters a lot.
00:13:06.000 I didn't know why I didn't understand it, but I said, okay.
00:13:08.000 So I wrote down, I want my future wife to have an amazing relationship with her dad and respect her father.
00:13:12.000 That was the words he said, respect her father.
00:13:14.000 So I, I got really, really detailed.
00:13:15.000 Right now, as I got into like 24, 25, 26, my options opened up profusely.
00:13:21.000 Like it was like, it was like good times at that time.
00:13:24.000 But then I was choosing from the women that made themselves available to me.
00:13:27.000 And I, and I didn't turn the sex down.
00:13:29.000 Let's put it that way.
00:13:30.000 But in terms of like who I was going to wife up, I knew exactly what I wanted.
00:13:33.000 And that may be different from different people, but I really want to take a strategic position.
00:13:36.000 And I was willing to wait.
00:13:38.000 You know why I was willing to wait?
00:13:39.000 Because the sex was available.
00:13:40.000 You know, I think, I think if the guys aren't getting laid, then they're probably just going to get married for the pee.
00:13:45.000 That's a terrible decision.
00:13:46.000 Yeah.
00:13:47.000 I got married for the character.
00:13:48.000 And I, I, you know, and that, and that's been the intent.
00:13:50.000 Yeah.
00:13:51.000 Dimitri, you've been sharing some sort of special wisdom because I've actually really been enjoying this.
00:13:56.000 Yeah.
00:13:57.000 Yeah.
00:13:58.000 It's actually your wisdom to hear your experiences to, to how it is for you.
00:14:03.000 Also, the fact that you've come from a hardship background.
00:14:06.000 I must say, I think you deserve a clap.
00:14:08.000 Might as well give him a clap, guys.
00:14:09.000 Yeah.
00:14:10.000 Dimitri.
00:14:11.000 Dimitri.
00:14:12.000 Can I touch him?
00:14:13.000 You guys know, you guys know, you guys, you guys know, you guys know that statistically, if you're,
00:14:16.000 yeah, I was going to say, statistically, if you're wearing a suit, people just believe you more as an expert.
00:14:19.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:14:20.000 Dimitri.
00:14:21.000 Dimitri.
00:14:22.000 You know what's, you know what's interesting when you were talking about, um, no tattoos, no,
00:14:28.000 I don't know if you said piercings.
00:14:29.000 No piercings.
00:14:30.000 That was, for my wife, no piercings, no tattoos.
00:14:32.000 Earrings or no?
00:14:33.000 Little earrings.
00:14:34.000 But no hoops.
00:14:35.000 Yeah, yeah, sorry.
00:14:36.000 No, no, no, no big, no, no big hoops.
00:14:39.000 That's someone without tattoos.
00:14:41.000 It's interesting because when I was growing up, my mom would always say that to me.
00:14:45.000 She'd be like, you can't get a tattoo.
00:14:46.000 Like, you, and I'd be like, mom, you're so judgmental.
00:14:49.000 Why would you say, like, you know, and I would always be, you know, just arguing with my mom about it.
00:14:54.000 And she would always tell me, you can't get tattoos, no piercings, no this, no that.
00:14:58.000 And, um, I made it to 18, right?
00:15:00.000 And I went to Germany for the summer.
00:15:02.000 And I was thinking, I was like, maybe I will just piss my mom, you know, you're 18, right?
00:15:06.000 Please don't get a swastika.
00:15:07.000 No, no, no.
00:15:09.000 I'm joking.
00:15:10.000 I'm joking.
00:15:11.000 I didn't end up doing it.
00:15:12.000 But it's like one of the things I'm so thankful for now is that, like, my mom just, like, beat that into me.
00:15:18.000 Like, no heavy makeup, no tattoos, no, don't, like, stay in shape, like, all that stuff.
00:15:24.000 Like, I'm just, yeah.
00:15:25.000 And it's interesting you say that because what I noticed is, like, my brothers, like, they won't even give a girl, like, a second look if they say she's got any tattoos that are visible.
00:15:33.000 And it's interesting.
00:15:35.000 It's sad because sometimes, like, girls are so beautiful, but it's like they'll get, like, a sleeve or they'll get something.
00:15:39.000 I'm like, why are you wasting that?
00:15:40.000 Yeah.
00:15:41.000 That's true.
00:15:42.000 But is there someone without tattoo or without piercing better than someone that has them?
00:15:47.000 Like...
00:15:48.000 That's a great question.
00:15:49.000 Very good question.
00:15:50.000 Does it make them greater than the one that doesn't have them?
00:15:52.000 Yeah.
00:15:53.000 I mean, I don't feel the same.
00:15:54.000 And there's no tattoos.
00:15:56.000 No tattoos.
00:15:57.000 I love makeup.
00:15:58.000 I love...
00:15:59.000 That's just me.
00:16:00.000 I'm a girly girl.
00:16:01.000 You know what I mean?
00:16:02.000 But it's true.
00:16:03.000 Like, my mom was always like, no tattoos.
00:16:05.000 No, no, no, no, no.
00:16:06.000 Very judgmental.
00:16:07.000 I mean, I was raised as a Roman Catholic.
00:16:10.000 What is it about tattoos?
00:16:11.000 Yeah.
00:16:12.000 What is it about tattoos?
00:16:13.000 I mean, you want to hear something crazy?
00:16:15.000 I value purity.
00:16:16.000 Mm.
00:16:17.000 Yes.
00:16:18.000 Me too.
00:16:19.000 I just, I had to learn about myself.
00:16:21.000 Like, why do I feel that way?
00:16:22.000 And then I introspect.
00:16:23.000 I value purity is number one.
00:16:24.000 Mm-hmm.
00:16:25.000 And again, I know that some people listening to this or even here are not going to agree
00:16:28.000 with me.
00:16:29.000 That's okay.
00:16:30.000 I don't make your decisions.
00:16:31.000 You make your decisions.
00:16:32.000 I'm just telling you my own perspective.
00:16:33.000 Like, I value purity.
00:16:34.000 And I think it shows a lack of impulse control.
00:16:37.000 What do you...
00:16:38.000 Mm-hmm.
00:16:39.000 Sorry.
00:16:40.000 What do you define as a purity?
00:16:41.000 Just clean body?
00:16:42.000 Yeah.
00:16:43.000 That's partially...
00:16:44.000 Yeah.
00:16:45.000 It's symbolic, right?
00:16:46.000 I understand it's not physical.
00:16:47.000 It's metaphysical.
00:16:48.000 It's symbolic.
00:16:49.000 Yeah.
00:16:50.000 I see you have tattoos.
00:16:51.000 I'm not like you're...
00:16:52.000 I'm sure that like 99% of men would disagree with me on this.
00:16:55.000 So I'm probably not statistically correct here.
00:16:57.000 So just know that you're more qualified in many men's eyes than less qualified because
00:17:01.680 I'm sure other men would see that as fun and expressive and maybe...
00:17:06.000 No, they don't.
00:17:07.000 Whatever.
00:17:08.000 I don't know.
00:17:09.000 I don't know.
00:17:10.000 Some men find it attractive.
00:17:11.000 I don't know.
00:17:12.000 It depends on the type of guy you're going for.
00:17:13.000 It depends even...
00:17:14.000 Guys that...
00:17:15.000 Guys that from like a corporate background, like that's not what they go for.
00:17:19.000 Typically from a business background, it's not...
00:17:20.000 You know what they say when birds...
00:17:22.000 I've been with lots of just tattoos, but I wouldn't marry you.
00:17:23.000 What?
00:17:24.000 You know when they say birds of a feather flock together?
00:17:26.000 Mm-hmm.
00:17:27.000 I think we need to always circle back around to that because if I date somebody completely
00:17:34.000 out of my character, completely out of the people I vibrate on like this frequency, of
00:17:40.000 course I'm going to have to challenge myself.
00:17:42.000 I'm going to want to get my tattoos lasered and stuff.
00:17:46.000 So if you want to get into that level of people, you know, those kind of people, you
00:17:53.000 want to be around millionaires and you want to have a millionaire husband and all of those
00:17:57.000 things, it comes at a price.
00:18:00.000 Yeah, but do you actually feel like just because like people don't have tattoos and piercing,
00:18:05.000 they can be more successful than people...
00:18:07.000 Not necessarily.
00:18:08.000 In relationships, yeah.
00:18:09.000 My brother...
00:18:10.000 It's the minority though.
00:18:11.000 I'm one of ten.
00:18:12.000 So I have a family of ten.
00:18:14.000 Five boys, five girls.
00:18:15.000 And out of my five brothers, I think four make six figures.
00:18:19.000 So four are in the top like five to ten percent of earners.
00:18:22.000 And none of them date women with tattoos.
00:18:25.000 Like they refuse.
00:18:26.000 They won't do it.
00:18:27.000 If I can ask the oldest, if I can ask how old is the oldest brother or sister?
00:18:31.000 The oldest brother is 33.
00:18:34.000 He just got married and has first kid.
00:18:37.000 We should clarify that like just because a man will sleep with you and we all know this
00:18:43.000 doesn't mean that he'll commit to you.
00:18:44.000 Like it doesn't mean that a man won't sleep.
00:18:47.000 Like I had lots of girls that had tattoos, but I knew that I wasn't going to be like...
00:18:51.000 When you're talking about a wife...
00:18:52.000 No, I know, but we're not saying that.
00:18:53.000 We're not saying that.
00:18:55.000 We're actually just discussing about if someone that doesn't have tattoos and piercing,
00:19:00.000 why would it be better than someone that has them?
00:19:02.000 Like it's the same thing as someone that is wearing a suit and someone that is wearing just jeans and just something casual.
00:19:09.000 That's someone that wears a suit makes someone like better than...
00:19:13.000 It does in a way.
00:19:14.000 In a way it signals wealth.
00:19:15.000 It's appearance.
00:19:17.000 Right, right.
00:19:18.000 And that's the same point.
00:19:19.000 So to women, we like men in suits in general by and large because it signals well.
00:19:26.000 Men like women without piercings and without tattoos because it signals purity and life choices.
00:19:31.000 Like why do you wear a white dress at the wedding?
00:19:33.000 Because it's a symbol of purity.
00:19:34.000 I feel like with tattoos, first, yeah, they look good and all that.
00:19:39.000 But then when you get older and wrinkled, I'm sorry, it just looks like a mess on the body.
00:19:44.000 And even what you were saying, like birds of the same feather flock together, we have...
00:19:47.000 So I get him.
00:19:48.000 We have another coho...
00:19:49.000 I have another talent here and he's got a sleeve full of tattoos and he even says himself he prefers women without them.
00:19:55.000 That's true, but can I say just something, yeah.
00:19:57.000 When I was like younger, right, I used to have like piercings because I love piercings or whatsoever, yeah.
00:20:03.000 I was 14.
00:20:04.000 I was the only one having piercings, nails whatsoever, yeah.
00:20:07.000 But I can tell you for facts that I was the purest one because at 14, 15, I was not going with any guy.
00:20:13.000 I was on my own.
00:20:14.000 I was...
00:20:15.000 And the girls that they had the family that they were eventually give them curfew for going home at 10, 11 o'clock or they didn't have piercing or they didn't have tattoos.
00:20:23.000 They were the ones that they were more dirty than me.
00:20:26.000 Well, and sometimes that happens, like sure.
00:20:29.000 But this is the thing, if you're advertising yourself one way.
00:20:33.000 So if you have a sign on yourself and you're advertising that you're not pure, how would they know?
00:20:38.000 Yeah, I know what you mean.
00:20:39.000 It's like men, if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck.
00:20:41.000 But that's what I'm saying because nowadays the society gets only to see like the appearance.
00:20:47.000 They don't really, everything is superficial now.
00:20:49.000 Right, but we, okay, do you want to date a guy taller than you?
00:20:52.000 Yeah, of course.
00:20:53.000 Okay, but so that's appearance.
00:20:54.000 Of course, of course.
00:20:55.000 That's appearance.
00:20:56.000 That's judging a guy based off appearance.
00:20:58.000 Because for nature, the men...
00:21:00.000 Right, and for nature, men like women that are pure because historically they had to ensure paternity.
00:21:06.000 So they don't want a girl that's been around.
00:21:08.000 And if a girl has tattoos and a lot of piercings, that's what they associate it with.
00:21:12.000 Yeah, but we can even talk about how many people from New Zealand, like ages and ages ago,
00:21:18.000 they used to have tattoos on their bodies or they used to have symbols on their bodies.
00:21:22.000 Which cultures?
00:21:24.000 Which ones?
00:21:25.000 Maori, Indies, all these people that they used to have tattoos.
00:21:29.000 In England?
00:21:30.000 In England?
00:21:31.000 We're not talking about England.
00:21:32.000 But we're in England, that's why.
00:21:34.000 I know we're in England.
00:21:35.000 We're talking about society in general.
00:21:37.000 We're talking about society in general.
00:21:38.000 We're talking about society in general.
00:21:40.000 It's okay, we're coming from anywhere.
00:21:42.000 It doesn't really matter what the culture was back then.
00:21:44.000 It does.
00:21:45.000 It does.
00:21:46.000 Because we're talking about the culture.
00:21:47.000 Do we live back then?
00:21:48.000 No, but what I'm saying is...
00:21:49.000 What I could say is that it's embedded in our DNA though.
00:21:54.000 No matter where we are in the world, there is a specific thing that brings me in,
00:21:59.000 that draws me in, that attracts me, that does particular things to my DNA.
00:22:03.000 And that's why I biologically want this man.
00:22:06.000 I don't care that he has four children and four baby mothers.
00:22:09.000 I don't care that he doesn't provide.
00:22:11.000 Because at the end of the day, nature to nature, there is something within him that's deeper than what society sees him as.
00:22:20.000 So you're Russian roulette in your relationships?
00:22:22.000 Yeah, and men...
00:22:23.000 No, I don't get in relationships with them because then I think, at the end of the day,
00:22:27.000 me being in a relationship with myself is more important than being in a relationship man.
00:22:33.000 I mean, in a relationship with a man who can't even be connected to himself.
00:22:37.000 Wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:22:38.000 I need to break this down.
00:22:39.000 I need to break this.
00:22:40.000 Being in a relationship with yourself is more important than being in a relationship with a man.
00:22:45.000 Who...
00:22:46.000 Mm-hmm.
00:22:47.000 That's what I added on.
00:22:48.000 Who what?
00:22:49.000 Who what?
00:22:50.000 Sorry, finish it then.
00:22:51.000 I'm just saying, in order for me to be in a proper relationship, I need to know that that man is secure.
00:22:58.000 Whether that means that I'm choosing a man who's not probably in a particular position where I would want to have his children.
00:23:07.000 I do believe that me loving this man and having him commit to me could potentially make him the man he's meant to be.
00:23:15.000 If he lets me be that woman for him.
00:23:19.000 So you're gonna make the man...
00:23:21.000 So the man's gonna commit to you and you're gonna make him into what you want him to be.
00:23:24.000 Not about what I want him to be.
00:23:26.000 But what...
00:23:27.000 What he could be.
00:23:28.000 He should be naturally.
00:23:29.000 He should be.
00:23:30.000 Okay, so you're gonna do that.
00:23:31.000 Not based on society.
00:23:32.000 Why would you pick a guy that you have to make him into what he should be?
00:23:35.000 Why wouldn't you just pick a guy that's there?
00:23:37.000 That's because there are certain men who...
00:23:40.000 See this is...
00:23:41.000 And that's what I'm saying because I think I've had a lot of offers of marriage.
00:23:45.000 A lot.
00:23:46.000 Oh, lucky lady.
00:23:47.000 No, like in the last three months.
00:23:50.000 I can tell you that.
00:23:51.000 There have been...
00:23:52.000 Get off your knee.
00:23:53.000 Stop proposing.
00:23:54.000 I'm just saying like...
00:23:56.000 And that's based on...
00:23:57.000 I think that women take too much credit.
00:23:59.000 Ain't gonna lie.
00:24:00.000 I wish I had that lot of people proposing to me.
00:24:02.000 I think a lot of times women will say...
00:24:05.000 I've never been the one to take credit.
00:24:06.000 I mean you kind of did right there when you're saying I'm gonna make him into the man he wants to.
00:24:10.000 It's just like...
00:24:11.000 No, no, no.
00:24:12.000 Men kind of are how they are.
00:24:13.000 He's honestly...
00:24:14.000 I feel like men that are gonna be successful are gonna be successful regardless of the women.
00:24:19.000 There's levels.
00:24:20.000 I think Dimitri right there.
00:24:21.000 Whether you met your wife or didn't meet your wife.
00:24:23.000 I'm sure she added.
00:24:24.000 But is it wrong for a woman to blow her own horn?
00:24:27.000 Is it wrong?
00:24:28.000 Is it wrong?
00:24:29.000 I mean, yeah.
00:24:30.000 Is it wrong?
00:24:31.000 I think women just take too much credit.
00:24:33.000 Everything's us.
00:24:34.000 We did everything.
00:24:35.000 Well, women come in a relationship to multiply.
00:24:38.000 That's what women do.
00:24:39.000 We multiply.
00:24:40.000 I mean, honestly...
00:24:41.000 You give me a house.
00:24:42.000 I'll make you a home.
00:24:43.000 Can I just...
00:24:44.000 Can I just...
00:24:45.000 You give me music.
00:24:46.000 I'll make you a meal.
00:24:47.000 Stop, stop.
00:24:48.000 So we'll have these...
00:24:49.000 We'll have these modern women.
00:24:50.000 These modern, modern women.
00:24:51.000 We multiply.
00:24:52.000 That are so not traditional.
00:24:54.000 It's just so obvious that it's...
00:24:55.000 It's unfortunate actually.
00:24:56.000 And I'm not talking about you personally, but I'm talking about in general.
00:24:58.000 I get it.
00:24:59.000 So if you keep ad-libbing, you're gonna go.
00:25:01.000 Okay?
00:25:02.000 Thank you.
00:25:03.000 So this is the thing with modern women.
00:25:05.000 It's like very, very clear, not traditional.
00:25:07.000 And then they'll say, I make the house into a home.
00:25:10.000 Yeah, but that's what women...
00:25:12.000 But what percent of women really do that?
00:25:14.000 What percent of women today were really raised to be wives?
00:25:17.000 What percent of women really know how to have family traditions?
00:25:21.000 What percent of women really value the family?
00:25:23.000 What percent of women really aren't out every weekend?
00:25:26.000 Let us know, because that is the foundation, is a woman makes a house into a home.
00:25:33.000 And that's why they say when you look at a society, you see how it's doing, you look at the women.
00:25:37.000 And the women today, they're overweight, they've slept with more people, and we're less successful in relationships than ever before.
00:25:43.000 But I must admit, the way society has gone, they've made it more accepted for women to be by themselves, have the kids, and not have the man involved.
00:25:56.000 Why haven't they given men a lot of incentive to stay at home?
00:26:02.000 Because, alright, a woman can be high on this and high statistically on that.
00:26:07.000 But really and truly, the man, it's all down to him in a way.
00:26:12.000 He will make the proposal, he will choose his wife, and all of that.
00:26:16.000 So, why has not the system given more incentive for the men to stay at home?
00:26:23.000 I could tell you why, actually.
00:26:25.000 So, one, the system...
00:26:28.000 It's the system.
00:26:30.000 No, it's the women.
00:26:31.000 It's the women's choices.
00:26:33.000 So, because women leave 70 to 80% of the time, 90% of their college education.
00:26:37.000 So, the women are the ones ruining the relationship.
00:26:39.000 Who ruins the relationship?
00:26:40.000 The one that stays or the one that leaves?
00:26:42.000 The quitter ruins it.
00:26:43.000 Can I just say, the women have more incentive to be by themselves.
00:26:47.000 Correct.
00:26:48.000 And why is that?
00:26:49.000 Because they financially ruin men in order to do that.
00:26:52.000 Financially, the system wants to tax everybody.
00:26:55.000 That's what it is.
00:26:56.000 No, no, no.
00:26:57.000 I'll tell you why, because I'm actually researching this.
00:27:00.000 I'll tell you why, if you want to know, because I'm actually researching this.
00:27:03.000 The issue is that the politicians have no incentive to change the laws because the biggest group of swing voters is women.
00:27:11.000 And single mothers are the biggest voters.
00:27:13.000 So, why would they take away the benefits of single mothers, even if men are committing suicide every single day, because of these policies?
00:27:20.000 Let me tell you something.
00:27:21.000 There's no incentive.
00:27:22.000 Now, some could argue that women shouldn't vote.
00:27:24.000 I won't say that.
00:27:25.000 No, no, no.
00:27:26.000 Women got to vote.
00:27:27.000 But can you see where I'm coming from?
00:27:29.000 Like, the incentives are crazy.
00:27:30.000 Now, let me tell you something.
00:27:32.000 This is where I'm coming from.
00:27:33.000 The incentives are crazy, but we don't have to take them.
00:27:35.000 Women don't have to take those incentives.
00:27:36.000 Which I haven't.
00:27:37.000 I'm not talking about you.
00:27:38.000 No, but I'm one person that hasn't.
00:27:41.000 I'm the woman that hasn't, you know.
00:27:43.000 But let me tell you something.
00:27:44.000 Let me tell you something.
00:27:45.000 I had my best friend from school, right?
00:27:48.000 And I don't even want to break down her parents right now.
00:27:52.000 I love you.
00:27:53.000 I love you all.
00:27:54.000 But my best friend from school, three kids, no husband.
00:27:58.000 No, actually, she had a fiance.
00:28:00.000 She committed suicide.
00:28:02.000 Like, why would my best friend from school do that?
00:28:06.000 Now, that's where I'm coming from.
00:28:08.000 And that's why I had to escape that.
00:28:11.000 Because look where my best friend is today.
00:28:13.000 You know?
00:28:14.000 You had to escape what?
00:28:15.000 I had to escape that environment.
00:28:17.000 That environment.
00:28:18.000 Yeah.
00:28:19.000 Of being a bit toxic, a bit generational curse.
00:28:22.000 So she killed herself because of her.
00:28:24.000 She did.
00:28:25.000 I don't know.
00:28:26.000 Maybe because I don't know.
00:28:27.000 You don't know why.
00:28:28.000 I don't know why.
00:28:29.000 We don't know why.
00:28:30.000 But she, you know, she left her family.
00:28:33.000 Everybody was so close.
00:28:35.000 And, you know, even though these women are saying that they're going to leave,
00:28:40.000 they're going to do this, they're still not happy in making that choice.
00:28:45.000 But then the men still don't have no incentive to come back or to stay or to make it work with the women that they bear children with.
00:28:55.000 You know?
00:28:56.000 But that's just, that narrative just isn't true.
00:28:58.000 It's just wrong.
00:28:59.000 Because the men are not leaving.
00:29:01.000 The women are leaving.
00:29:02.000 Women leave the majority of the time.
00:29:04.000 Who hasn't left a woman with two kids, right?
00:29:07.000 Okay.
00:29:08.000 But that's the exception.
00:29:09.000 It's not the rule.
00:29:10.000 What?
00:29:11.000 I'm saying, okay, out of 10 marriages, if there's 10 marriages, two are the men leaving, eight are the women leaving.
00:29:19.000 Mm-hmm.
00:29:20.000 So who's the problem?
00:29:21.000 All right.
00:29:22.000 The leavers.
00:29:23.000 Maybe the women.
00:29:24.000 Easy answer.
00:29:25.000 Leavers.
00:29:26.000 Leavers, which is the women.
00:29:27.000 But it's the incentives that they have.
00:29:29.000 They probably be like, oh, I've got too much.
00:29:32.000 I don't know.
00:29:33.000 I don't know what women are leaving.
00:29:35.000 But this is the thing.
00:29:36.000 This is why I say modern women are selfish because it's me, me, me before the family.
00:29:39.000 Yeah, they are.
00:29:40.000 Oh, even if they have the incentives, like a true traditional woman would never take them.
00:29:44.000 She doesn't care because she cares about the kids first.
00:29:47.000 Maybe they're coming from a place where they've seen that, okay, the traditional woman has been unhappy for most of her life.
00:29:55.000 Been unhappy.
00:29:56.000 That's statistically accurate.
00:29:57.000 That is so not true.
00:29:58.000 You've been unhappy!
00:29:59.000 That is so easily opposed to the data.
00:30:00.000 But that's not true.
00:30:01.000 That's not true.
00:30:02.000 That's not true.
00:30:03.000 Women in families are happier than women without families.
00:30:06.000 80% of women that are single and childless are not happy that they're there.
00:30:10.000 By the way, the single most unhappiest demographic, the single most unhappiest demographic,
00:30:16.000 there's lots of data on this, is 40-year-old single unmarried women.
00:30:19.000 The single most unhappiest demographic.
00:30:21.000 Like, again, I'm not saying everybody is like, statistics, you know, don't apply to individuals,
00:30:25.000 but that's just like data.
00:30:26.000 And it's just right there.
00:30:27.000 And it's like, why do we, why do we, I feel like Hollywood, Hollywood has brainwashed us into thinking that traditional women were not happy.
00:30:37.000 Completely.
00:30:38.000 Because there were unhappy times.
00:30:40.000 True.
00:30:41.000 You know, I know a couple, and I've told this story a couple times, this couple, they were
00:30:45.000 together.
00:30:46.000 And the woman, the man actually left the house for a side chick.
00:30:51.000 So he left, he left the house completely, left her.
00:30:54.000 And this woman was so Catholic that she prayed, she prayed to God for a solution.
00:30:58.000 God, please God, like, send my husband home.
00:31:00.000 I just want to work it out.
00:31:01.000 Da, da, da, da.
00:31:02.000 Side chick died.
00:31:03.000 Da who?
00:31:04.000 Side chick.
00:31:05.000 She died.
00:31:06.000 And, and he came home.
00:31:09.000 Wow.
00:31:10.000 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok.
00:31:13.000 And we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
00:31:17.000 If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.
00:31:21.000 Every donation helps and it helps make what we do possible.