JustPearlyThings - March 25, 2023


This Is A LIE Told To Modern Men


Episode Stats

Length

9 minutes

Words per Minute

228.02548

Word Count

2,148

Sentence Count

175


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Who do you think is more emotionally unstable, men or women?
00:00:03.220 I think men are now.
00:00:04.720 I would have said women before, but I feel like maybe.
00:00:08.620 Women.
00:00:10.160 Sorry, go ahead.
00:00:11.200 Really?
00:00:11.660 Yeah, I think women.
00:00:12.760 Oh, my gosh.
00:00:14.460 I feel like men are now.
00:00:16.180 No.
00:00:17.340 You see TikTok?
00:00:18.860 That's all it is.
00:00:19.700 It's emotionally unstable women.
00:00:22.740 Yeah, my whole men are now.
00:00:23.480 It's like all these girls crying on TikTok.
00:00:25.340 I'm like, what is going on?
00:00:27.280 I haven't seen a guy crying on TikTok.
00:00:28.960 Yeah, because they do it behind closed doors.
00:00:31.580 I feel like men hide their feelings as well.
00:00:34.020 Yeah, men don't really like to show how they're feeling compared to women.
00:00:37.500 But don't you think that's just how men process emotions?
00:00:39.960 Like they process emotions differently than women?
00:00:42.120 Yeah, they do, but not all men.
00:00:44.180 But in general, right?
00:00:45.800 Because we always make it sound like a bad thing that men don't talk to each other
00:00:49.460 or talk to us about their emotions.
00:00:51.840 But I just think they process emotions differently.
00:00:54.460 Yeah, they do compared to women.
00:00:57.120 But it's like sometimes we try to make them into women by being like process the emotions
00:01:00.900 like I process the emotions.
00:01:02.560 True.
00:01:02.900 I think they need to because there is a lot of men that have mental health at the moment.
00:01:07.220 So I think they do need to be able to talk about their feelings.
00:01:10.600 Yeah, but not with women.
00:01:11.760 Yeah.
00:01:12.480 But why not?
00:01:13.700 Why not?
00:01:14.040 Yeah, why not?
00:01:16.100 Honestly, because women throw stuff in your face later.
00:01:19.080 I agree.
00:01:19.580 And then what they do is they'll throw something in your face and then they'll add lies to it.
00:01:26.060 So it'll be kind of true, but kind of not true.
00:01:28.280 Yeah, but not all women.
00:01:29.120 Not all women, yeah.
00:01:29.680 I mean, I didn't say 100% of women, but I'm just saying if I had a balance of probabilities
00:01:33.540 and I had 10 guys and 10 girls, I would say that women are more likely to do that.
00:01:37.640 Yeah.
00:01:38.020 The other problem is I don't think women find it very attractive when guys are emotionally vulnerable,
00:01:42.900 to be honest.
00:01:43.660 I mean, I think because when I was growing up, it was said, you know, people were starting
00:01:47.300 to say, oh, you know, just be open with your feelings, be vulnerable, be emotional with
00:01:50.440 her and everything like that.
00:01:51.360 But actually, the reality out there is that I don't think women really, you know.
00:01:55.400 I feel like it depends.
00:01:56.740 For example, me personally, I would want a guy to open up to me and let me know how they're
00:02:00.320 feeling.
00:02:01.020 What if he's crying every night?
00:02:02.460 No.
00:02:03.020 Not every night.
00:02:04.160 Yeah, that's a bit much.
00:02:05.300 Maybe.
00:02:06.140 That's why it's like confusing to men because we'll be like, be open with us, but not too open.
00:02:10.320 Yeah.
00:02:10.520 So if you want to cry every day, put that, take that shit away.
00:02:16.440 So it's kind of like, at what point with each girl is emotionally available enough, emotionally
00:02:21.960 open enough?
00:02:25.920 I feel like it depends.
00:02:27.660 If I was to be in a relationship with a guy and we've gotten to that level where we're
00:02:31.720 comfortable to open up to each other, then I don't think it would be an issue for him
00:02:35.760 to, if he was to cry to me every night, you know.
00:02:38.480 Maybe there could be something I can do to help him.
00:02:41.200 Me personally, anyways, I don't see that.
00:02:42.860 For how long?
00:02:43.140 He doesn't cry a year?
00:02:45.040 A year is too much.
00:02:46.860 I mean, that would be too much for a man or a woman, though.
00:02:49.520 And I feel like realistically, a man's not going to cry to you for a year, you know.
00:02:54.140 I feel like that would be too much either way.
00:02:55.900 If it's a man that's crying for a year, that's a problem.
00:02:57.760 If it's a woman that's crying for a year, that's a problem.
00:02:59.620 I think a month straight, that'd be too much for me.
00:03:01.760 But is it, is it like, but being real, it's not, is it really a, like, to think of a guy
00:03:09.260 in that manner, that's not really a, sexy, is it?
00:03:12.900 No.
00:03:13.460 Do you know what I mean?
00:03:14.160 I feel like there's a time and a place.
00:03:15.280 It depends where you're at.
00:03:16.420 If that's your partner, that's your person.
00:03:18.400 You've been together for a long amount of time.
00:03:20.420 Then his problem is your problem.
00:03:22.200 But I'm not meeting you on day one and you're telling me about your emotional self.
00:03:25.620 I don't want to hear it.
00:03:26.280 And that's happened to me before.
00:03:27.220 And I was put off and I didn't want to speak to him.
00:03:28.980 I'm so sorry.
00:03:30.280 Yeah, yeah.
00:03:30.940 You can't tell me on day one what's going on emotionally because I'm not even telling
00:03:33.620 you and I'm the woman.
00:03:34.540 Yeah.
00:03:35.720 Sorry.
00:03:37.300 Definitely.
00:03:40.860 See, I feel like this is why guys don't want to open up.
00:03:46.720 No, but that's different.
00:03:47.820 When she said on the first day, why would you be so comfortable to open up to someone?
00:03:51.800 But the point is every girl's different.
00:03:53.700 Yeah.
00:03:53.940 Right?
00:03:54.120 So every girl's different with what they'll tolerate.
00:03:56.380 So why are they going to play, like, roll the dice when they could just not deal with
00:03:59.720 it at all?
00:04:01.000 I think it's, I think, again, the balance of probabilities, if you had 10 men and 10 women
00:04:05.320 lined up.
00:04:05.720 I mean, it seems to me that women, like, they want the guy to be the leader.
00:04:08.640 They want the guy to be emotionally strong.
00:04:09.940 They want the guy to be the rock, basically.
00:04:11.880 Not the rock as in the rock, but they want the guy to be their rock.
00:04:15.040 And if the dude is, I mean, obviously, he's not going to be crying every night.
00:04:17.720 But, you know, if the dude is, like, emoting the whole time and he's looking to her for
00:04:21.080 support excessively, that's going to, it just seems to me it's going to put her off.
00:04:25.100 Do you know what I mean?
00:04:25.860 And there is a school of thought in the sort of men's online self-help space that basically
00:04:31.400 says, you know, you should not be vulnerable in front of the woman that you're with because
00:04:34.100 she's going to lose attraction for you.
00:04:35.800 And if she loses attraction for you, then that's the, that's, you know, it's game over
00:04:39.760 there, basically.
00:04:40.420 Yeah, she's got the ick.
00:04:41.460 Exactly.
00:04:42.340 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:04:43.540 I think that's too extreme, though.
00:04:46.040 Because it's like.
00:04:46.880 Yeah, it may well be, but I'm just saying that there's that school.
00:04:50.180 Everyone is vulnerable, including men.
00:04:52.000 So if you need a bit of a hard time, it's like, I wouldn't like to, oh yeah, don't
00:04:56.320 come to me.
00:04:56.980 Just go and fix your stuff and then come to me.
00:04:59.560 I think, I think, I think some guys though, I've never been married, so I can't speak
00:05:02.720 to this personally, but I think some guys, you know, you feel like you meet this, you
00:05:05.980 meet the woman and you guys are in a relationship.
00:05:07.760 It's all great.
00:05:08.320 And you think, oh, now I can, now finally I can relax.
00:05:10.780 Now I can, now I've got somebody who I can talk to and she can help me with my feelings
00:05:15.240 and blah, blah, blah.
00:05:15.900 But the problem is when you then do that, that can sometimes give the woman the ick,
00:05:20.800 you know, and the woman's like, oh, wait a minute, this isn't the strong, you know, stable
00:05:24.080 oak that I signed up for.
00:05:25.480 And then you're, and then you're in trouble.
00:05:27.040 So, but I agree.
00:05:28.660 It's a sliding scale.
00:05:29.480 Not everyone's the same, right?
00:05:30.480 I mean, there's, you know.
00:05:32.680 I think it matters about timing and duration, depending on how long you guys have been together
00:05:36.800 for.
00:05:37.480 Depends on when you need to open up, because my partner opens up to me, but that took a long
00:05:41.360 time.
00:05:41.820 And even when he does, it's limited information.
00:05:44.580 He's not going to cry to me.
00:05:46.100 He's not going to cry to me.
00:05:47.040 Would it be attractive if your partner cried to you all the time?
00:05:51.640 Baby, don't cry to me.
00:05:54.440 See?
00:05:55.320 But he doesn't cry to me, but I always let him know that, you know, I'm supposed to be
00:06:00.160 your safe haven.
00:06:01.160 You know, your partner is supposed to be that safe space.
00:06:03.600 But doesn't mean cry to me from Monday to Friday to Sunday.
00:06:07.680 No, not every day, but, you know, that I'm supposed to be your safe space.
00:06:13.280 So, I'm curious for you, because you said you want a guy to meet your standards.
00:06:19.960 What are your standards?
00:06:22.060 I would say he needs to be tall.
00:06:24.540 I'm 5'6", so 5'10", minimum.
00:06:26.980 Okay.
00:06:28.240 He needs to be earning.
00:06:30.360 Do you know what?
00:06:31.020 I'm not specific about numbers, because I actually don't, like, I'm not on a salary.
00:06:34.520 Like, I work for myself, so, do you know what I mean?
00:06:36.280 I don't get salary.
00:06:36.820 So, I don't really know how people manoeuvre, but he needs to be able to look after me,
00:06:41.440 pay the bills, pay everything, and then also give me money on top.
00:06:45.740 Not that I won't do the same for him, but I'm just saying what he needs to be able to do.
00:06:47.580 Wait, so you want him to pay 100% of the bill and give you, how much money does he have
00:06:51.440 to give you on top?
00:06:52.300 He needs to pay 100% of the bills.
00:06:53.540 He just needs to give me money, like, if I want to buy something.
00:06:55.860 So, how much am I, roughly?
00:06:57.720 For example, I might want to buy a Dior bag this month.
00:07:01.540 If they start from about 2, 3K, then I might need that.
00:07:05.820 But it won't be all the time.
00:07:07.140 It'll be sometimes.
00:07:08.000 Can you just buy it by yourself?
00:07:09.980 I can definitely buy it by myself, but sometimes things feel nicer when it's a gift from your
00:07:14.520 partner.
00:07:14.840 What's the point of having a boyfriend?
00:07:16.160 Yeah.
00:07:16.520 What do you mean?
00:07:16.900 What's the point of having a boyfriend?
00:07:18.360 So it can be a gift.
00:07:19.520 I don't think your boyfriend's supposed to take care of you.
00:07:22.160 Yeah, there's a need to be a bag.
00:07:22.840 You know, he doesn't need to take care of you, but it's nice if he does.
00:07:25.940 I like luxury items, so that's something that I like.
00:07:29.780 If you go to Walthamstow Market, you can get them for $29.
00:07:35.520 But if you're the one who likes the luxury items, why does he have to pay for it?
00:07:38.860 No, I'm not saying I won't buy it myself, but this is the thing.
00:07:41.760 I'm not saying he even has to pay for it.
00:07:43.200 I'm just saying that he needs to make enough whereby there's capacity and there's room
00:07:46.660 where he can afford to give me money for a bag if that's what I want to get at that
00:07:51.300 present moment in time.
00:07:52.300 So I need him to be extremely comfortable.
00:07:53.860 There needs to be spare money everywhere.
00:07:55.920 Even on my part as well, there needs to be spare money where we can spend it.
00:07:59.100 So luxuriously, that's how I would like to live, personally.
00:08:01.940 And what does he get in return?
00:08:04.380 He gets a loyal, loving woman who will eventually have his kids take care of the house.
00:08:10.540 You know, will also look after him.
00:08:12.240 If he likes gifts, he can get a gift as well because there's money there.
00:08:17.180 Okay.
00:08:18.280 Okay.
00:08:19.920 So how much money do you think that would cost?
00:08:21.840 I have two and three grand on the go.
00:08:23.900 Because that's what some people make in a month.
00:08:25.440 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:08:26.620 That is true.
00:08:27.520 I mean, based on people around me, definitely 100, 100K plus salary for sure.
00:08:33.760 What percent of men do you think make that?
00:08:35.840 Oh, I know it's a low percentage.
00:08:37.820 100%.
00:08:38.180 I know it's not that high, but personally, the people I'm around make that amount of money.
00:08:42.800 So I feel like it's accessible to me.
00:08:44.360 And that's why I have that standard.
00:08:45.980 Okay.
00:08:46.200 I think it's like 5% of men.
00:08:49.800 Yeah, it's very low.
00:08:50.920 So then do you think you're in the top 5% of women?
00:08:53.580 That make that amount?
00:08:54.520 No, no.
00:08:55.040 Just in terms of like what men look for.
00:08:57.160 Oh, I believe so.
00:08:58.000 Yes.
00:08:59.060 So like youth, purity, femininity.
00:09:01.860 I mean, I don't know.
00:09:02.980 I mean, men like me, but I don't know if I'm in the top 5%.
00:09:05.720 I would say I am.
00:09:06.680 I'm a very confident woman, but I don't know.
00:09:08.720 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok, and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
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