JustPearlyThings - November 16, 2023


This Is The WEIRDEST Couple On The Internet


Episode Stats

Length

7 minutes

Words per Minute

217.01955

Word Count

1,599

Sentence Count

113


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 I actually feel so awkward asking people their body counts like I feel like oh my god I get so
00:00:08.220 nervous. Is sleeping around different for men and for women? Socializedly different. I think
00:00:13.680 simple people process it as different but they don't look deep enough. I think there's a double
00:00:18.120 standard that exists but I don't understand why it exists. I've been with my partner for 11 years
00:00:23.020 and sleeping around has never been a problem. Ethical non-monogamy is a thing google it.
00:00:30.000 Dudes that's fucking haram. Is that what you guys do? Yeah man like 11 years. Wow you don't get jealous?
00:00:38.580 No because we chose each other right? Yeah. Every day you choose each other every day. I could now
00:00:43.300 get so jealous. Not if you get broke up properly because then you're like I'm not horny because
00:00:47.620 I got good this morning. What's he doing? Okay I get to rest. It's different. And to be fair like even
00:00:54.260 if you are in a monogamous relationship asking yourself and your partner ethical non-monogamous
00:00:59.880 questions is good for your own relationship because you create your relationship based on
00:01:05.140 the boundaries of the people involved rather than externally curated and boxed in versions of what
00:01:12.400 your relationship should be. Yeah. There's too much in the media telling you what your relationship
00:01:16.760 should be rather than who you are as a person and personality. Yeah that my question to every
00:01:21.880 relationship is how has monogamy fucked your life up? And once you can answer that and answer it
00:01:26.540 honestly like. So for me though like when I think of my parents like if they were. Don't
00:01:30.960 think of your parents. No no no listen listen listen listen listen. But like I because I
00:01:34.340 have nine siblings so they're like monogamous monogamous. So you're like your tenth sister.
00:01:38.100 Yeah yeah yeah. Nath sister. Five boys five seven. So your father had no put out game.
00:01:43.800 No I mean we're. It was kind of just like have as many as we can. They're Catholic. Irish.
00:01:47.980 Yeah yeah yeah. So like I'm like wouldn't that be confusing for kids if like they're sleeping
00:01:53.500 around around town. Like it was always nice growing up where I didn't have to worry about
00:01:57.140 like any exes or any like. It's two separate things. Yeah. You're not having your sexual
00:02:02.960 partner relationships in front of your children all the time. Yeah. It's the same as having
00:02:07.380 aunts and uncles your parents best friends around your children. Yeah. If they are the people
00:02:12.800 that they are they're going to be just as loving. You're going to want to spend a day with your
00:02:17.240 cool auntie or your cool uncle. Yeah. Like if you're at a type in your relationship where
00:02:21.760 you want to have them around your children and you want to raise them as a family. It
00:02:25.500 takes a village to raise a child. So why would you limit your child? Like we live in a world
00:02:29.660 where it's okay to be a single parent. Why? Like even with a single parent you still need
00:02:34.780 someone to support you. Your mom, your cousin, your sister to babysit for a night if you have
00:02:39.680 to emergency do something. So why would you not want to curate that space where they have
00:02:45.080 multiple adults to raise the child and multiple adults to check on each other in their parenting
00:02:49.840 as well? I actually agree with you in that like it's interesting how like single parents are
00:02:54.420 normalized but like someone can't have multiple wives or multiple husbands. When you think that
00:02:59.320 would be a better like if I personally I'm just more of a fan of two but like if I had to pick
00:03:05.020 like a single parent or a group like. If you had to pick between one and four you'd pick four.
00:03:09.100 Yeah exactly. No exactly. Exactly. So it's interesting how like one is illegal and one's legal.
00:03:15.520 Yeah I think I think that in terms of like a single parent no matter who you are man or woman
00:03:19.820 it's not enough. Yeah. Like because yeah like I feel like the biggest thing that children learn
00:03:24.600 is seeing their parent get checked by another adult. They learn so much from that and if there's
00:03:29.220 only one adult and it's like oh I'm your mom and your dad it's like how much can I actually learn
00:03:33.880 from you. Yeah. It's like how much perspective can I get and by having multiple adults you get
00:03:39.040 multiple adult perspectives. And it's not even like and it's not even like just one person it's
00:03:44.080 when your kid goes to their sporting games on the weekend their coach is a role model for them. When
00:03:49.300 they go to their musical theatre or dance clubs afterwards it's there's another role model for
00:03:54.020 them. Their teachers are role models so they do have adults around them but you've curated who you
00:03:59.640 choose to be. Yeah like single parents need to lower their ego and understand that other adults
00:04:03.720 can help. You're right like most of human history it was like a powerful men with a bunch of women.
00:04:08.500 Yeah. Like typically over history only 40% of men reproduced. So 80% of women did. So it was
00:04:14.780 literally two girls for one guy. Depends on what part of history you go back into but yeah I guess so.
00:04:19.400 Yeah like the more choice women have the less that happens right. But the more choice the women
00:04:24.440 have the less that happens. What do you mean? Well yeah like so the more you're exposed to
00:04:28.620 multiple like cultures and men and different styles of like raising a family or just being
00:04:33.620 yourself. Like I believe that the more you're exposed to there's less likely you are to settle
00:04:38.640 for what you grew up with. You know you're kind of right actually when like the more women get choice
00:04:45.540 the more like hypergamous they become. So it's like a smaller well it's a smaller percentage of men that
00:04:51.440 are screwing all the girls. So it's one out of three men are either virgins or haven't had sex in the
00:04:55.700 past year. So it's like it's like again it goes back to like the way it used to be in a way.
00:04:59.880 So the more things progress which you can see from the fight for women's rights, for LGBT trans
00:05:06.080 rights, for black rights. The more things progress the harder the pushback is. So you'll you'll see
00:05:11.180 this back and forth happen. But I think people should have more opportunities to see different
00:05:16.960 possibilities and choose for themselves rather than being told what they think is right and following
00:05:21.820 that. What do you think would you guys so would you be cool with like multiple husbands and multiple
00:05:26.200 wives in this? Is that how you want to do it? Yeah like honestly like. You're going to get like a big
00:05:31.740 house. But like but yeah. How else are you supposed to afford a house? Like if you're able to remove your
00:05:37.420 ego and be like she likes me for me and not because I'm better than somebody else or not because I'm
00:05:41.980 worse than somebody else. Yeah. It makes more sense and I think a lot of people are too caught up with
00:05:46.400 am I better than the person in front of me or like you just need to be happy with who you are.
00:05:50.840 I do that. Yeah. Yeah of course of course. Like today this morning I was like am I going to look good
00:05:54.820 this morning at carnival? Yeah yeah yeah. But it's like once you understand who you are and you don't
00:05:59.720 question it anymore. Yeah. You can truly be yourself in other spaces and that allows you to be open to
00:06:04.900 more people. Because once you're really yourself people understand who you are. Whereas when you're
00:06:09.260 pretending to be somebody else everyone's sceptical. They're like hmm who's this guy? Who's this girl?
00:06:13.680 Yeah. And that is like that's the biggest question mark in life. Who are you? It's a lot of
00:06:19.860 responsibility to be one person's everything and if you're in a partnership that involves two or more
00:06:26.280 people it's about choosing the person for who they are. Like I can see all the potentials of who you
00:06:32.320 are and whatever avenue or pathway you take I want to be there to witness that. Yeah like we've been
00:06:37.180 together for 11 years since we were 16 and like we understand that we choose each other every day.
00:06:42.160 Like no matter how much work we have to put in we choose to put in that work. No matter how much
00:06:46.140 graft we have to put in we choose to put in that grind. And at the end of it we look back and we
00:06:50.840 say we've grinded harder than any relationship we've ever seen. And so we can be confident no
00:06:55.540 matter where it goes. I mean you guys you can't I'm always a big results speak for themselves and
00:07:00.500 you've been together long the average marriage is like seven eight years. So you guys have been
00:07:04.140 together longer than most married people. That was that was expected when we would have known that
00:07:08.900 when we were 16 to be fair. We spiritually married as well. Yeah. What do you need the government
00:07:14.940 to tell you if you're married or not? The government just tells us what we can do with the power
00:07:19.360 of marriage not the commitment to it you know.