JustPearlyThings - July 10, 2023


Why Most RELATIONSHIPS Never Last


Episode Stats

Length

10 minutes

Words per Minute

210.25575

Word Count

2,195

Sentence Count

232


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 You have to pay just to see pictures.
00:00:02.560 And then I would wonder, I'm like, did I do something wrong?
00:00:05.680 You fumbled a bag.
00:00:07.380 I've had this conversation, though.
00:00:08.620 It's the same with, like, maybe escorts and stuff, isn't it?
00:00:11.300 So let's say, for instance, with OnlyFans, it makes it more personal.
00:00:13.700 So let's say you could have OnlyFans.
00:00:15.680 You don't, probably.
00:00:16.480 But if you do and someone really wanted,
00:00:18.280 they couldn't really bother to whine and Daniel or talk with you like that,
00:00:21.100 but they really were, like, sexually attracted to you.
00:00:24.280 They could just go through the OnlyFans, pay that little subscription.
00:00:27.900 See everything.
00:00:28.440 In their head, you're a body now.
00:00:31.180 Yeah?
00:00:32.120 You know what I mean?
00:00:32.800 You lot have done whatever.
00:00:33.680 And then they can go on with their life.
00:00:35.480 Do you know what I'm saying?
00:00:36.200 Same thing with, like, escorts or whatever.
00:00:38.680 Instead of doing a whole dating situation, they paid for an escort,
00:00:41.380 they've got that out of the system, and they've moved on.
00:00:43.540 So it's like, I think with OnlyFans,
00:00:45.680 the only difference between OnlyFans and Pornhub is that they have,
00:00:51.120 they might know the person.
00:00:52.720 They might know who the person is.
00:00:54.560 It's within reach.
00:00:55.660 That's why I think OnlyFans is growing, because it's more personal.
00:00:58.020 You ain't got to do nothing, though.
00:01:00.080 You know there's people, like, there's female escorts.
00:01:03.480 Yeah.
00:01:03.960 The guy with, like, all the guys that spoil them,
00:01:06.360 they won't do nothing.
00:01:07.400 Same thing with OnlyFans.
00:01:08.980 Like, you haven't got to sexually do anything.
00:01:10.820 There is a super chat.
00:01:11.940 Never go through a girl's phone.
00:01:13.220 If you believe that you need to go through her phone,
00:01:15.400 all you're doing is looking for anything to confirm
00:01:17.300 what you already believe is happening.
00:01:19.080 Mm-hmm.
00:01:19.420 Um, sorry, but...
00:01:22.200 That is true.
00:01:22.820 Only, that's a violation.
00:01:24.200 I would, I would...
00:01:24.680 OnlyFans is a repeat.
00:01:25.500 Like, okay, because I would genuinely look at myself and say,
00:01:28.840 what did I do to try and move, man?
00:01:32.560 To do, like, that he has to pay?
00:01:35.660 He can't just go online?
00:01:36.680 Paying someone else.
00:01:37.880 Because paying for porn in 2020, corn, sorry,
00:01:41.620 in 2023 is wild in and of itself.
00:01:44.360 But it's the same as a...
00:01:45.080 I agree.
00:01:46.180 I'm just saying it's the same as a date.
00:01:47.940 Remember this, remember this.
00:01:49.360 A lot of people,
00:01:50.460 it's the fault of having something that they can't have.
00:01:52.940 And it's an attraction where...
00:01:55.000 Everyone can have it for $5.99.
00:01:57.220 For $5.99.
00:01:58.440 But I mean, that's a sexual drive
00:02:01.020 because I can't, I'm not physically having you.
00:02:03.120 You're just someone that's on a computer screen.
00:02:05.480 It's the same thing like we're an affair.
00:02:06.820 A lot of people, an affair is sexy
00:02:09.160 and they love it and it's an attraction
00:02:10.860 until it becomes something that's, like, allowed.
00:02:13.780 You know, like, people leave their wives
00:02:15.820 for their mistress.
00:02:17.300 And they get with the mistress.
00:02:18.140 And they get with the mistress
00:02:18.920 and they're, like, all of a sudden,
00:02:20.060 it's, like, it's not as fun anymore.
00:02:21.840 It's not the same.
00:02:23.000 We all want something that we can't have.
00:02:24.880 It doesn't really happen often.
00:02:26.120 Leaving the wife for mistress.
00:02:27.420 And those people are still tough.
00:02:28.060 You might get left by the wife
00:02:29.200 and end up with the mistress,
00:02:30.320 but you don't leave the wife for the mistress.
00:02:32.520 You're a dummy in that situation.
00:02:33.840 Come on.
00:02:35.340 You're a dumbass.
00:02:38.680 Has social media ever caused an argument
00:02:41.200 in a relationship?
00:02:42.220 Yeah, oh my God, yeah.
00:02:44.260 What have women argued with you
00:02:46.160 or men about?
00:02:47.620 The liking game.
00:02:49.580 Back when that was a feature, man,
00:02:51.140 I used to get me in heated discussions
00:02:53.320 all the time.
00:02:54.820 But I would do it for, like, algorithm things.
00:02:58.180 So if I know I'm about to post,
00:02:59.420 I'll just like anything on my timeline
00:03:00.980 because I know they're going to look
00:03:02.180 and they're going to go and like my thing back.
00:03:04.200 That was the vibe.
00:03:05.900 I would like pictures of your gran,
00:03:07.620 your ankle, whatever, dogs.
00:03:09.420 Because anything on that timeline
00:03:10.880 at that time, I would just think.
00:03:12.660 And they'll be next to me when I do it.
00:03:13.900 It's not like I have to do it in secret.
00:03:15.720 But I understand it looks crazy.
00:03:17.580 Yeah.
00:03:18.160 It looks crazy.
00:03:18.900 Anything you pop up,
00:03:19.620 because as well,
00:03:20.120 it puts it onto their newsfeed as well.
00:03:21.980 Remember when you can see
00:03:22.760 what other people are like?
00:03:23.160 No, that's what I'm talking about.
00:03:24.020 That's when it was an issue.
00:03:25.040 That's when it was an issue.
00:03:26.100 Yeah.
00:03:26.600 So I used to get into situations about that.
00:03:29.560 But I think on the flip side,
00:03:30.800 if your girl only follows 90 people,
00:03:33.220 let's say, for instance,
00:03:33.900 and then she follows that one guy,
00:03:36.880 you might be, you see, now you won.
00:03:39.740 Who's that?
00:03:41.200 Who's that, now you won?
00:03:42.180 I haven't been there.
00:03:43.640 You know what I mean?
00:03:44.100 So I think it works both ways, though.
00:03:45.960 What have you gotten into arguments?
00:03:47.060 My situation was different
00:03:48.360 where a girl slid into my DMs on Facebook.
00:03:52.760 I went the extra mile on Facebook
00:03:55.060 to find out that she went to college with my girl.
00:03:57.980 And then how that went was Facebook.
00:04:00.480 You know when you're in a relationship,
00:04:01.620 it says you're in a relationship with this person.
00:04:03.040 I wasn't that smart when I was below 25, like I said.
00:04:08.500 So what happened was she was like,
00:04:11.460 oh, when we started having a conversation,
00:04:13.660 she was like, oh, but you're in a relationship
00:04:15.080 with this person.
00:04:15.760 Hold on a minute.
00:04:16.720 I think I went to the same college.
00:04:18.080 Oh, I did go to the same college.
00:04:19.940 See, screenshotted my whole conversation with the girl
00:04:23.060 and send it to my then girlfriend, man.
00:04:26.220 And that obviously caused...
00:04:27.200 Oh, that argument is because you were cheating?
00:04:29.180 I was below 25.
00:04:33.840 I was below 25.
00:04:35.820 I was below 25.
00:04:37.400 I was about to take seriously.
00:04:38.540 That's a fair enough argument.
00:04:41.320 What did you get into an argument about?
00:04:43.360 It's essentially, like you said,
00:04:45.120 it's one of those like,
00:04:46.460 back when you can see who you liked
00:04:49.060 and what you liked.
00:04:50.620 Back when that was a thing,
00:04:52.120 it's like, it was you with...
00:04:53.860 Back then, again, we were young.
00:04:56.180 We were dumb.
00:04:56.900 We didn't know where the social media was.
00:04:58.420 We grew up with social media
00:04:59.960 essentially at the same time.
00:05:01.640 So you would see your partner
00:05:03.220 liking all these things
00:05:04.740 and then that would be an argument
00:05:05.800 because for those who don't know,
00:05:08.300 who are too young to know,
00:05:09.300 Instagram is to show people who you liked.
00:05:12.200 Like the pictures you liked
00:05:13.680 on like his own separate feed.
00:05:15.700 So that feed will get you...
00:05:16.680 All the girls know this.
00:05:17.300 Yeah, that feed will get you in trouble.
00:05:18.720 Did you know that...
00:05:20.680 I'm not sure if it's the same now,
00:05:22.060 but before on Instagram,
00:05:23.680 if you were following under 200 people,
00:05:26.220 it wouldn't show what order
00:05:28.020 you followed people in.
00:05:29.380 Did you know that?
00:05:30.820 So like, let's say your man
00:05:32.040 goes out on a night out
00:05:33.000 and he starts following someone new.
00:05:35.020 Then you know.
00:05:36.380 You might click on their page
00:05:37.340 and you'll be like,
00:05:38.180 all right, cool.
00:05:38.560 She was at the same party.
00:05:39.400 He obviously had an interaction.
00:05:41.060 However, if he was following...
00:05:43.760 If they're following under 200...
00:05:46.700 I don't know if it's still the same feature
00:05:48.260 and I don't know, updates and stuff.
00:05:50.060 But yeah, man,
00:05:50.800 those kind of things
00:05:51.780 get into arguments over that.
00:05:53.680 Well, wait, let me ask you something, right?
00:05:55.100 Because what you just said,
00:05:56.740 bro, I weren't cheating.
00:05:57.700 It was a conversation through Facebook.
00:05:59.180 Bro, I don't want to hear anything.
00:05:59.840 I don't want to hear anything.
00:05:59.860 No.
00:06:01.260 I'm not trying to air it, my boy.
00:06:03.560 I don't understand.
00:06:04.180 I'm trying to air it.
00:06:05.300 I'm trying to air it.
00:06:06.040 I don't want to get out of it.
00:06:07.520 Wait, it's a toxic...
00:06:08.800 I think cheating is like a physical situation.
00:06:11.760 It's not physical.
00:06:12.580 No, I don't agree.
00:06:14.080 No, it can be emotional.
00:06:14.940 You can emotionally cheat.
00:06:16.820 All right, let me ask you this.
00:06:17.720 Let me ask you this.
00:06:18.240 Because I don't know.
00:06:18.860 I like to hear that coming from women.
00:06:19.980 Can I ask you something?
00:06:20.840 Devil's advocate.
00:06:21.840 Is it really the end of the world
00:06:23.140 if he's messaging another girl?
00:06:24.520 Thank you.
00:06:25.720 I agree.
00:06:27.280 It's not the end of the world,
00:06:28.320 but it's not the start of the Ivo.
00:06:31.620 I just think like...
00:06:32.960 I just think like
00:06:34.860 if we have open social media profiles,
00:06:37.720 can we really like get off our high horse sometime?
00:06:40.000 Because I think that attention is
00:06:41.680 to women as sex is to men.
00:06:45.260 Do you guys agree with that?
00:06:46.100 Yeah.
00:06:46.940 Okay, so I'm like,
00:06:47.800 if we, most of us have open Instagram
00:06:49.800 and relationships,
00:06:50.960 meaning we can get attention
00:06:52.240 from high status men.
00:06:53.840 And that's always on the table.
00:06:55.240 But if he sends a message,
00:06:56.460 like it's the end of the world.
00:06:58.280 No.
00:06:59.300 But if he does what he was doing.
00:07:02.500 She messaged me first.
00:07:03.700 I was just responding.
00:07:04.580 It's rude not to respond.
00:07:05.540 What kind of message are we talking about?
00:07:06.700 If it's like,
00:07:07.120 if it's like,
00:07:07.960 you know,
00:07:08.640 emojis and stuff like that,
00:07:10.040 then it's a bit mad.
00:07:11.020 And I mean,
00:07:11.300 if it's general conversation,
00:07:12.660 then, you know,
00:07:13.900 you might be able to bus case.
00:07:15.580 It's crazy.
00:07:16.240 I think I just look at things
00:07:17.540 like differently.
00:07:18.680 I just.
00:07:19.100 No, I'm with you.
00:07:19.780 I'm with you.
00:07:20.560 You pick like battles and wars,
00:07:22.520 I guess.
00:07:22.800 Yeah, you gotta pick battles.
00:07:23.560 Because if you're the type of person
00:07:25.480 to like date for like a long-term
00:07:27.400 relationship or marriage,
00:07:29.000 right?
00:07:29.360 Yeah.
00:07:29.520 Then it's like,
00:07:32.000 like in the grand scheme of things,
00:07:33.640 is a message going to make
00:07:35.320 or break your life?
00:07:36.420 Exactly.
00:07:37.080 It's the intention about,
00:07:38.780 I think most of it becomes
00:07:40.040 that gray area of the unknown.
00:07:41.440 So it's the attention
00:07:42.140 behind the message.
00:07:43.420 All right.
00:07:43.640 Let me ask you a question
00:07:44.380 because I don't feel like
00:07:45.080 you're on my side.
00:07:45.960 I'm not.
00:07:46.880 Okay.
00:07:47.840 All right.
00:07:48.440 Cool.
00:07:48.760 You're with your girl.
00:07:50.560 You've been very little while.
00:07:51.440 You're on a break, yeah?
00:07:52.760 Break.
00:07:53.060 You mean she's single?
00:07:54.840 Okay.
00:07:56.400 Okay.
00:07:56.880 She's single.
00:07:57.360 She's single.
00:07:57.780 Okay.
00:07:58.060 So you might agree with me on this.
00:07:59.300 Yeah.
00:07:59.680 You've been with each other
00:08:00.300 for a while.
00:08:00.880 Now, I was in a situation,
00:08:02.320 okay, you have a girl.
00:08:04.320 She's not your girl,
00:08:05.280 but you know like you have not,
00:08:06.800 it sounds bad,
00:08:07.500 like a backup,
00:08:08.220 not a backup.
00:08:08.880 You have people on your phone
00:08:09.900 that you know like you.
00:08:11.500 Now, I was in a situation
00:08:13.160 where I was always with someone
00:08:15.020 from like 16.
00:08:15.880 So when I wasn't with someone,
00:08:17.120 I used to just grab a girl
00:08:18.800 that I knew liked me
00:08:19.900 because I wanted to feel
00:08:21.280 like it was a fulfilled thing, right?
00:08:23.340 So if I'm not with you
00:08:25.480 and we've broken up for like a week
00:08:26.780 and we have a sexual situation,
00:08:28.920 I didn't cheat on you
00:08:30.500 because we were on a break.
00:08:32.360 Mind them fingers, bro.
00:08:36.140 I hear you.
00:08:37.780 What I was saying here is
00:08:41.020 the moment you are on a break,
00:08:44.140 you've fed her to the wolves, bro.
00:08:46.080 You can't,
00:08:46.640 and vice versa, bro.
00:08:47.820 You're single.
00:08:48.360 You're two single people.
00:08:49.240 It's no longer,
00:08:50.660 I know it may feel like,
00:08:52.020 you know,
00:08:52.420 okay, cool,
00:08:53.300 we were in a relationship,
00:08:54.340 but boy,
00:08:55.780 you're not under that covenant.
00:08:57.080 You're not under that contract,
00:08:58.340 that obligation,
00:08:59.180 that verbal commitment anymore.
00:09:00.880 So whatever you do,
00:09:02.200 it might be frowned upon.
00:09:03.320 It might be whatever,
00:09:04.200 but some people just move on
00:09:05.060 quicker than others.
00:09:05.820 That's all.
00:09:06.000 I feel like you're like 20%
00:09:07.300 on my side now.
00:09:08.460 There we go.
00:09:09.340 There we go.
00:09:10.080 Would you guys work through a message?
00:09:11.940 Which?
00:09:13.940 Yeah,
00:09:14.700 she would.
00:09:17.960 I think,
00:09:18.640 no,
00:09:18.860 I think the intentions matter.
00:09:20.780 And I think that
00:09:21.440 if he's messaging somebody else,
00:09:22.740 he's already checked out.
00:09:24.140 And I'm,
00:09:24.980 I think I'm very strict
00:09:25.920 when it comes to that.
00:09:26.640 Like,
00:09:26.760 I think that if you're going to be
00:09:27.580 in a relationship with me,
00:09:28.780 I think that you have to put
00:09:29.960 some boundaries in place.
00:09:31.200 I think that you have to be long.
00:09:32.500 What if you're on holiday
00:09:33.300 and then you come back
00:09:34.400 and you find that
00:09:35.220 he messaged another girl
00:09:36.560 because you were away?
00:09:38.520 I'm leaving him.
00:09:39.260 I'd be fuming.
00:09:40.120 Yeah,
00:09:40.340 no,
00:09:40.760 no,
00:09:41.200 I'm leaving him.
00:09:41.660 I think I,
00:09:42.100 I don't tolerate
00:09:43.460 anything that.
00:09:45.200 Because to me,
00:09:45.880 it seems a bit much
00:09:46.800 to break up over a message.
00:09:48.060 It depends what the message is though.
00:09:49.200 Yeah,
00:09:49.340 it depends what the message is.
00:09:50.580 If it's flirty,
00:09:50.600 then the intention's quite clear.
00:09:52.500 How old are you guys again?
00:09:53.960 You're,
00:09:54.220 what?
00:09:55.100 I'm 29.
00:09:55.940 29.
00:09:58.120 How old are you two?
00:09:58.800 He's 22 though.
00:09:59.760 I'm 29.
00:10:00.180 29,
00:10:00.640 22.
00:10:00.920 Is it a difference?
00:10:02.020 I'm 24.
00:10:02.940 Okay,
00:10:03.260 she hasn't got time to waste.
00:10:04.400 Yeah,
00:10:04.620 yeah,
00:10:05.120 it's true.
00:10:06.380 You're in a different lane.
00:10:07.940 You're in a different lane.
00:10:10.020 As many of you know,
00:10:11.180 I was just banned on TikTok
00:10:13.300 and we are demonetized
00:10:15.020 on a daily basis
00:10:16.260 on this platform.
00:10:18.100 If you want to help,
00:10:19.560 please consider sending
00:10:20.680 a super thanks below.
00:10:22.640 Every donation helps
00:10:23.920 and it helps make
00:10:24.760 what we do possible.