00:05:09.660And I think it's especially dangerous in this day and age when women go to their friends about relationship problems.
00:05:16.240Because the truth is, we've seen already with the other topics on today's agenda, you know, a lot of women out there are messed up right now.
00:05:24.400They've been fed so much bullshit by the mainstream media, by social media, and even with the way that we're raising kids today.
00:05:31.620A lot of women actually don't like it when their friend is in a relationship.
00:05:35.960Especially if they're part of today's culture of things like going out clubbing and everything's for the Instagram pictures.
00:05:42.360They don't want their friends to be in a relationship because that means, oh, well, I'm not going to be able to go out and get drunk with you as much.
00:05:50.580Of course, they're going to encourage you to bin off a relationship because they don't actually care about your happiness.
00:05:58.120They care about what you mean in relation to them.
00:07:10.380The idea of a trauma bond is that the reason you stay is because psychologically you're kind of addicted to the stress of it.
00:07:19.940So it's this whole idea of like chasing the highs and lows, the roller coaster of a relationship and how, you know, movies and everything will tell young girls to go after the toxic guy because that's where the roller coaster is.
00:07:31.540Yeah, but, you know, and we've told kids that having a healthy relationship is boring and that it's better to have a toxic relationship because at least then it's thrilling.
00:07:40.520But yeah, I think it's just an excuse.
00:07:44.300I don't like my circumstances, but I'm too addicted to it to change them.
00:07:48.620I actually used to believe that myself, but I've woken up to that as well.
00:07:54.540And I now know that you can always remove yourself from something.
00:07:58.820Like if you always have that choice, like you're in complete control of your actions and yeah, making excuses isn't going to get you out of anything and it's just going to make you more unhappy and yeah, definitely don't agree with that.
00:08:12.000I'm not even denying the psychology behind it because, you know, when you look at things like addiction, why do people get addicted?
00:08:20.280It is because of things like a release of oxytocin, a release of dopamine.
00:08:24.460And I think when you are in a toxic relationship, that definitely can be the case that you kind of get, maybe it's similar to addiction.
00:08:31.660Maybe it is an addiction, but you can very, you can very much get lost in the ordeal of it all.
00:08:37.780You can get lost in the rollercoaster.
00:08:39.300I think also you get addicted to the good parts and you keep wanting the good parts to come.
00:08:47.240However, like you say, whether or not we can always set ourselves free, you know, because some people may argue, well, what about crackheads and heroin addicts?
00:08:58.840You know, I just think it's better to at least perhaps it's delusional.
00:09:04.160But if you can tell yourself that no matter what, you can always change your circumstances, chances are you're going to be better off in life.
00:09:10.700Because even when the odds are completely against you, if you have that mindset of I can always change my circumstances, you're going to try harder to do that.
00:09:18.480So it's just a better mindset to have in general.
00:09:22.200But yeah, another comment says, I saw a TikTok of a therapist who dissects how narcissistic people speak and how they speak on both sides so that they are never wrong, right, or can be caught in a,
00:10:28.240The way that she presents herself, the way that she speaks, the way that she talks even, you can tell that she has full control in that relationship.
00:10:35.960And he's just, like, hopelessly in love with her and, like, trailing behind her like a little dog.
00:10:43.320And, yeah, sadly, he hasn't realized that he can break himself through from that.
00:10:48.380I do also think that because of marriage and, like, the sanctity of it, I do believe that, you know, once you marry someone, you've made that choice.