00:01:14.040And I became very aware of what was happening.
00:01:16.460And because I was fading in and out of consciousness before.
00:01:19.180So, and it was the day I also had, like, the packing out, which is, like, the internal bandaging that they shove in for the first five, six days.
00:01:28.100And then it's over you to dilate with a bloody dilator.
00:01:32.520But, anyway, that was the first time that I saw, apart from the bandage that was now on the Burst Sutra, that I saw what it looked like standing in the mirror.
00:01:43.520And it just kind of, it literally did look like an animal or something had taken a chunk out of it.
00:03:00.560There's a lot of flaws in the, all the long-term, like, studies.
00:03:06.600For instance, the famous Swedish study in 2011 that came out and that got widely disputed showed that transition itself does little to improve the long-term health.
00:03:19.080And, in fact, surgery increases suicidality as a more, like, because of the measured mortality to see what people died of.
00:03:28.860The biggest killer of trans people, or anyone who takes hormones, by the way, is cardiovascular disease.
00:03:59.020And there are papers that kind of prove the point, but they get, there's a lot of PR, PR's been, excuse me.
00:04:06.980So, for instance, the 2011 study, the Swedish study, it's called, that had a look at the long, like, the longevity of trans people over the course of 30 years in Sweden.
00:04:21.120And they found, you know, there was this huge mortality rate with cardiovascular disease.
00:04:28.140There was no evidence that transition was reducing suicidality.
00:04:33.620In fact, the study itself found that trans as a cohort, when they went through gender, sorry, when they went through the treatment, and this could just be an observation of the group anyway,
00:04:47.300their suicidality is 17 times higher than the general population, whereas after surgery, it goes up to 19 times.
00:05:08.860And, but I think the biggest, the most interesting thing of that is the cardiovascular issues that is the leading cause of death, like overwhelmingly.
00:05:20.500And it's all to do with males, especially with, um, amenia, like low iron and, um, your blood vessels aren't able to carry as much oxygen, uh, because you have low hemoglobin levels and stuff like that.
00:05:37.360Um, and also there's the lifestyle that comes with it because there's already a lot of self-destruction and you've got a lot of people with abuse and substances, massive, massive substance abuse, um, across the board, um, and drinking too, um, and people are generally leading, very few are leading very, very healthy, positive lifestyles.
00:06:02.560Some are, sure, but a lot of them are not, um, and I think a little bit of that is where the overlaps of depression and autism come in because, uh, I had a friend who lived with me during lockdown and when they moved out after lockdown ended, after two years, my routine was just destroyed, like, and it took us, it's taken us about a year and a half to recover.
00:06:28.700Like, I can't, it took us a year just to get back in the habit of making a meal and stuff like that.
00:06:33.420And I was just totally like, you know what I mean?
00:06:35.900And imagine that for, I feel like I've had a little bit of an advantage because I started transition at 25, 26 and I had those years, even though I was miserable as fuck, I still had those years to be like, oh, uh, I can learn how to be an adult.
00:06:52.120At least I can learn how to take care of myself.
00:06:54.340A lot of the younger ones don't have that, you know, there's a lot of arrested development as well too.