Women TEND To IGNORE This
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
226.27698
Summary
In this episode, we discuss how a woman can keep her husband calm in the midst of chaos and stress. We discuss how to keep a man calm when he's stressed out and how to help keep him grounded.
Transcript
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So how can a woman keep you grounded because I think I think I struggle with that
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He can be pretty stressed out for work because like you said work is chaos
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So I'm like well like what do I do do I hug him do I leave him alone?
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I think he's the leave him alone give let him play video games kind of route
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So like how can a woman be grounding to you guys? What's what would peace look like?
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It's that simple it just comes down to silence and I'm just doing the things that she normally would do for you
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Taking care of you sitting next to you like just you know peace peace generally is seen as silence
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If you're in peace if you're in you know people say Zen it is pure silence
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The guy wants to come home to a nice quiet home most of the time
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He doesn't want to come home to chaos peace is normally described as silence, okay
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But for me, I think the deep obviously loyalty and cooperative and the friend and feminine are all key things
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But I think the most important thing is deep understanding now there's levels of understanding
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So if you get to know the man and you really want to fulfill your man and want to see him win
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Then you're going to let him lead and I think a lot of it boils down to trust
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There's a lot of people saying I love my man. I love my man
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But for one reason or the other they're they're the biggest holdback sometimes
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So I think that men I think men realize when a girl genuinely
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Wants to see him win not just for her benefit and for me
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I think that's the that's the key thing and then with that when a female is trusting you comes femininity
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A lot of men are thinking oh why is my girl masculine because she's not trusted you
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So I think that's what I think that's what it boils down to
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So I hear that I hear where you say you want you want to come home and you want silence and peace
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But now if she's silent it could it could be a bit of a problem
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Well, that's what I was saying is like what if what if you're coming home and uh, you're stressed or you're feeling down
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What if you want to like you want I know something encouraging?
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Because one of my girlfriends has told me that when her man is stressed out that she just gives him a big hug
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So I think I was looking for like those kind of actions obviously, you know being quiet in the midst of chaos is helpful
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That's what I think too because a lot of times when guys say what they want
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It it sounds really simple, which okay, and but it's very broad
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And so it's like if you were going to say to someone all right, I want to be a wife
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How do I become one like what would you tell them to do go ahead?
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So I can't speak for all men can't speak for your your husband
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However, I can tell you about me. So if I came back from work, and I was stressed
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There's not even that much pressure on you to to
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Yeah, like just have something ready for us to eat together
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You don't need to ground me or anything like that
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I'm very very good at grounding myself and all the rest of it
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Somehow still find a way to just not be able to
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They they find a way to want to add to the stress
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It's like they've been waiting for you to come home all day
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Just just be just exist and be feminine so I can give you my full masculine
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But if you're acting frantic and all masculine, how can you expect me to be masculine?
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So like I stay home, um, and then so my husband's gone like 10 to 12 hours a day
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And you know when I see him I just get so excited. I'm like, oh my god
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I can't wait to tell you about my day and he's like
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30 minutes an hour 30 minutes an hour and I'm ready to hear about your day
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So like we don't we don't we're not trying to add to your plate, but I see your point
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So it's called a decompression time is what a lot of counselors call it
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Apparently men need that I feel like I don't think women are like that
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I don't feel like I need not even like five minutes to myself
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No, because we're more social so to us like when we come home
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We're excited to talk to each other, but that aren't like that. They're like get away
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Have you ever seen that? Have you ever seen that chris rock?
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I think it's chris rock where he's like we like you there, but not there
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I want I want to be with you, but you know, I don't really I want to be around you
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So you could just be in the air vent. That's what Patrice O'Neill said
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I think we're very self-aware in the sense that how we want to make sure that we receive our woman properly
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So sometimes you may need like half an hour to just to decompress
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But I think sometimes women take offense to that when they say give me like 30 minutes
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It's like it's not about you, babe. This is me. Just give me 30 minutes
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That's a hard concept for them to grab that it's not about them because they always think it's about them
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But that's why you get guys sort of sitting in the car when they get back from work for 10 minutes
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Just to have a moment to themselves to go into the house because hey, it's like, you know
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But you know when you have a puppy and they run to the door when you come through the door it's a bit like that. It's nice
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It's nice. It's not supposed to be of course disrespectful, but it's just like the excitement to see you
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But like you said you need to just five minutes just let me just chill for two sex
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I mean, I'd actually also add it depends on your current like position in the relationship
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So what what like if you're in the honeymoon period
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I'd say it's a lot more romantic and full-on and more sexually driven at that point
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In the first like six months of normal relationships a lot of sex happens
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So in that case the man would be anticipating that as soon as he gets home if I was married
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I'd expect some form of intimacy as soon as I get home
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If it was the first but obviously let's say 10 years down the line if I'm working and it things are chaotic
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How can I get home? I'm just gonna want to relax. I'm just gonna want to sit
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Decompress as you've said and then eventually after a while maybe have dinner and then during dinner start conversation and then keep the conversation going overnight
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But the whole point is you need men need that decompression
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When they get home if they're not because the thing is men the thing is if it's not the honeymoon period
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And it's not a part where he's very sexually driven and he can't wait to get home to literally rail you against the bed
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The position of he needs peace. He needs to relax for a bit
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Because if he doesn't get that he's just gonna build up even more stress
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And it's gonna get bottled then he might explode and you know and some men explode in different ways
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And then yeah, I'd say that's the main that's the crux of the situation
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Yeah, I think I think the main thing I can speak for all men. I think all men want respect
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Definitely it both I think it boils down to respect when a man is disrespected. He can do crazy things
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Let's be honest. Oh, I think disrespect even leads men to cheating
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Which never really wants to get spoken about it's always this guy's a bad guy for cheating
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But let's ask ourselves how many times he did how many times did you disrespect your man before he cheated?
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That's like every single like school shooter story I've ever heard
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Like respect is number one beyond love beyond beyond anything respect is one
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And then well a woman has to respect you in order to love you in the first place
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It starts with respect. I think without respect. It doesn't work. Yeah, it cannot work
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If the girl actually wants she's gonna have to get to the point where she has to respect you or she has to find someone
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She does respect. Yeah, the relationship doesn't work without respect
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Otherwise, you get a lot of problems just developing and actually growing. It's like a seed if you if there's no respect
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It's gonna grow. Yeah, it's gonna literally grow and ruin things
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And it gets ruined in different ways. Well, you guys you guys know why we disrespect you guys, right?
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Okay, this looks like for the for the women that love you that get out of pocket
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Okay, because there's just like some naturally psychotic women that's like she's just gonna be out of pocket for everyone
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Egeritz he talks about love and respect, right?
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Where women are commanded to respect their husbands and husbands are commanded to love their wives, right?
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And there's a reason for that and so when when I feel unloved, you know
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We tend to get disrespectful and then if you feel like i'm disrespecting you
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You're gonna go out of your way to make sure that I don't feel loved and you're not gonna cuddle with me
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And it goes into this cycle and you never know when to hop off because it's like well
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Do I want to hop off? No, he should hop off when really it's like what do you know?
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You're in the cycle. You should just hop off just for the greater good whoever figures it out first
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So yeah, I think that that's a that's a common thing because um when men blow up nobody ever asks
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What did she say and I feel like we should start asking because it's really bad
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It's mad because they always if if a girl blows up, it's what did he do?
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So many times that one oh, well, what did you do?
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It's not about me. I'm not a narcissist. It's about it's true
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Respect isn't just in the home when we're outside your females representing you if she's representing you in a mad way
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She's not respecting you. So I think it's such a 360 thing. Yeah
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You've got like obviously when you come home from work on the flip side
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You've got how she's representing you outside if she if your girl does not respect and rate you
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You'll hear him know about it and it will burn a girl a girl asked me the other day ago
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Um, so babes like how would you want me to be like say we were a thing like I would you know
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Pretend you're always wearing a permanent t-shirt with my face on it
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So, you know, no matter where you are you you're wearing a t-shirt and it's got my face on it
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And and that's the mindset that you need to have because when they've when they've got that in their mind
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They're acting it out. There's no there's it's like a constant reminder. Yeah, exactly
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Well, what are some ways that a woman can demonstrate respect because again like respect very broad and we ain't got no daddies
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Just like y'all don't got daddies. So what how can we demonstrate?
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Just to cut in there. I do think that like a good woman's gonna test you as a man
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I don't think there should be like unrealist unrealistic expectation that a woman's not gonna test you
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And it's good because as a man you need to be on your a-game
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So a good woman's gonna test you and you need to be at the best version of yourself to be able to deal with that and
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I have to disagree with that one. Uh, yeah, I was gonna say I completely disagree
00:10:32.840
I think respect is when she doesn't do that like she respects you enough
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I'm not saying she should disrespect you by the way
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No, no, I'm saying that she shouldn't even test you like the whole point is when someone respects you
00:10:41.400
You don't like you don't test your boss. You don't go to your boss and start testing them
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It is the kind of boss dynamic like at the end of the day a relationship is you go to work every day
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But when it comes to respect just listen to what the man says at the end of the day
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He has the final say if you're in a dynamic relationship where it's masculine feminine
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The man has the final say and the crux of it really does literally come down to listening respect not arguing
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So to boil it down she has to listen. Yeah, listen
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Is there any actionable items whatever the man says does do
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So she listens. Yeah, okay, and you know what not to not to disrespect my brother here or anybody else on the panel, but
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It's not unrealistic because listen I'm tested every day
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Yeah up at 6 a.m. Working from 8 till 9 most days seven days a week no tests
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That's enough if you test you become part of the problem
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I don't I don't think that I don't think I know a single wife that doesn't test their husband now
00:12:00.920
I think there are malicious ways to test your husband. I think that's true
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But there's other ways that you're going to be tested
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I don't think you're going to be able to get away from it
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And so there's a feminine wives masculine husbands in the church husbands are providers protectors women are feminine submissive
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Like you still want your boundaries respected as a human being in an individual
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I understand what you're saying like don't be malicious about it, but I think it's unrealistic to think that you know