Louder with Crowder - August 15, 2022


Bill Maher SLANDERS Me: We EXPOSE Him! | Louder with Crowder


Episode Stats

Length

55 minutes

Words per Minute

192.76482

Word Count

10,737

Sentence Count

992

Misogynist Sentences

30

Hate Speech Sentences

34


Summary

Bill Maher is a talentless hack. Bill Maher is not a comedian. He's a narcissist. And he thinks he's funny. But he's not funny at all. And that's why he's a complete waste of space.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 This fall, Six Cities.
00:00:28.000 Prepare for two rebels with a cause.
00:00:36.000 Six Cities.
00:00:37.000 Six Cities.
00:00:37.000 Prepare for two rebels with a cause.
00:00:38.000 Prepare for two rebels with a cause.
00:00:38.000 Six Cities.
00:00:39.000 Prepare for two rebels with a cause.
00:00:40.000 Six Cities.
00:00:41.000 Prepare for two rebels with a cause.
00:00:41.000 you Phoenix, Houston, Charleston, Nashville, New York, Baltimore,
00:00:54.000 The Rebels With a Cause Comedy Tour.
00:00:56.000 Tickets on sale now at louderwithcrowder.com slash tour.
00:01:00.000 Now for a trip inside Trump World's Hall of Mirrors.
00:01:06.000 Hey Steven, heads up, we're gonna need you in 15 for the TRP tape.
00:01:09.000 Okay, thanks Quarter Black.
00:01:10.000 Oh yeah, and I put some extra mushrooms on that Swiss there for you.
00:01:13.000 I know you like them so.
00:01:14.000 Oh thanks man, I appreciate it.
00:01:15.000 No problem.
00:01:16.000 It made me wonder at the end of a long week, was this a lie too?
00:01:20.000 But this, now, the Trump presidency, this is what a crisis of leadership looks and feels like.
00:01:26.000 Hey, Quarterblock? Yep. Every week another scandal.
00:01:29.000 What'd you say you had these mushrooms again? From a fan.
00:01:31.000 Love Clover from Colorado.
00:01:33.000 Rudy Giuliani, you see him there on Anity. This week I have some of the headlines.
00:01:40.000 When I hit rock bottom I go back to the top of the slot.
00:01:54.000 Where I stop and I take all my kids for a ride. Then I hit rock bottom and I see you again.
00:02:01.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you, don't you want me to screw you?
00:02:11.000 I'm making up crap that I can't sell you Tell me, tell me, tell me, come on, tell me the truth
00:02:21.000 Well, I may be alive, but I ain't no reporter Have the stuff talked
00:02:29.000 Have the stuff talked Have the stuff talked
00:02:43.000 Fabricating fake news Waiting for the axe to come
00:02:54.000 Corporations, sub-strate, fake news, bloody lackey Man, I've been a naughty boy, I got my sources wrong
00:03:03.000 I am the Eggman I look like an Eggman
00:03:09.000 I am a wild rat, cuckoo, cuckoo you
00:03:16.000 Sitting in an English garden, waiting for a scoop.
00:03:30.000 If the scoop don't come with apple cake, wanna make it up and claim the spoons.
00:03:34.000 I am an Eggman.
00:03:37.000 How do you do, Brian?
00:03:38.000 My head is an Eggman.
00:03:40.000 Man's view claims you straight.
00:03:42.000 I'm a walrus.
00:03:44.000 C-c-c-chew, c-c-c-chew.
00:03:46.000 Do you want me to screw you?
00:03:51.000 I'm making a crack but don't let me close you.
00:03:57.000 Tell me, tell me, tell me.
00:04:00.000 Tell me, tell me, tell me!
00:04:06.000 Come on, tell me the answer!
00:04:07.000 You can be my lover, but I'm a troubled dancer!
00:04:17.000 Half the standard!
00:04:22.000 Half the standard!
00:04:24.000 Stephen!
00:04:57.000 You're a stranger in my life, that's what I know. You're a stranger in my life, I can't let go. I'm in this meeting
00:05:23.000 just to know.
00:05:25.000 Oh, that's a delightful ship.
00:05:35.000 A good sip of tea.
00:05:37.000 We're about to discuss, here today, Mr. Bill Maher, a talentless hack.
00:05:44.000 It's gonna be a day.
00:05:46.000 That's if old Johnny Carson had to address Bill Maher back in his day, not to be a guest on the show.
00:05:50.000 Look, we have a lot to get to.
00:05:52.000 Bill Maher.
00:05:53.000 We've talked about him for a while.
00:05:54.000 Beware the wolf in sheep's clothing.
00:05:55.000 He made the mistake of letting this name, this show's name, come out of his mouth, so we have to address it.
00:06:01.000 And for everyone who thinks he's on your side, look, I think it's important to kind of note the timeline.
00:06:04.000 I think there are people who do have a change of heart, but you need to know their flash of genius.
00:06:08.000 What changed?
00:06:09.000 Kind of like Mitt Romney when he said, I became pro-life.
00:06:12.000 Well, what changed?
00:06:12.000 You were already Mormon.
00:06:14.000 So, my question to you, before we move on, we'll also be talking about Salman Rushdie being attacked, the Mennonites, and more outrage over the left, and this is war, right?
00:06:24.000 They're saying this rhetoric is what's leading to violence against the FBI.
00:06:28.000 Got a whole hit list, sorry, montage, hit list, figuratively, of the left saying far more egregious things, actually calling people to violence.
00:06:35.000 So my question to you is, who, which of the leftist talk show hosts can you stomach most?
00:06:41.000 Is it Bill Maher?
00:06:41.000 Is it Trevor Noah?
00:06:42.000 Is it Stephen Colbert?
00:06:43.000 Is it Jimmy Kimmel?
00:06:43.000 Is it Jimmy Fallon?
00:06:44.000 Is it Samantha Bee?
00:06:46.000 Is it... who else?
00:06:48.000 Are there other options?
00:06:49.000 I mean, I've pretty much just run through the whole gamut.
00:06:51.000 I don't know.
00:06:52.000 I mean, I hate to say it, but so far, Bill Maher on your list.
00:06:56.000 I would say Jon Stewart in his prime.
00:06:58.000 Stewart, for sure.
00:06:59.000 Oh, Jon Stewart is great, though.
00:07:01.000 Yeah, Jon Stewart's great.
00:07:01.000 Even David Letterman was great.
00:07:03.000 Conan is obviously more.
00:07:04.000 Anyway, you let me know who you can stomach the most.
00:07:06.000 We'll be getting to all that and more.
00:07:07.000 Gerald A. is here.
00:07:08.000 You doing well?
00:07:08.000 I'm doing well.
00:07:09.000 How are you?
00:07:09.000 You're wearing a nice shirt.
00:07:10.000 Available at PlatterShop.com.
00:07:11.000 Absolutely.
00:07:12.000 And the fastest man on his feet, the quickest wit in the West, him and I are on tour this fall in Phoenix, September 16th at the Arizona Federal Theater, then Houston, September 17th.
00:07:22.000 Two shows that weekend at the Financial Center, Sugar Land, and then Charleston, West Virginia, where nothing is there.
00:07:26.000 So if you're 100 or 200 miles away, drive in October 8th at the Coliseum.
00:07:31.000 Dave Lando!
00:07:32.000 Ahoy!
00:07:32.000 How are you?
00:07:33.000 I am okay.
00:07:34.000 I'm looking forward to this today.
00:07:35.000 Today's going to be a fun show.
00:07:37.000 For us to lay down a little thick, okay?
00:07:40.000 What?
00:07:41.000 Really?
00:07:42.000 Really, people?
00:07:43.000 Okay.
00:07:44.000 Come on.
00:07:46.000 So, first off, Salman Rushdie, as you all know, was attacked, but there's some more information that, you know, you may not have necessarily heard from the media, but I don't really think you needed to, because I think you can guess who's behind this.
00:07:58.000 I warn you, there's obviously some disturbing footage.
00:08:00.000 Friday, he was stabbed in the neck during a lecture in New York.
00:08:02.000 In case you've missed it, here's a clip.
00:08:16.000 It is, yeah.
00:08:17.000 They caught him, right?
00:08:26.000 Yeah.
00:08:27.000 Yeah, they caught him.
00:08:28.000 I don't know how he was allowed to get that close to the stage, and that's also why, when we do our shows, we have very specific protocols with security, the kind of stage we use, the distance from the stage, and a lot of people with the guns, so... He was interviewed, the guy that they caught, I didn't realize that.
00:08:44.000 It wasn't?
00:08:45.000 He said, I ran so far away, I couldn't get away.
00:08:48.000 Wow.
00:08:49.000 Yeah?
00:08:49.000 Anybody?
00:08:50.000 I think you're right.
00:08:51.000 He also sang Barbie Girl, which was weird.
00:08:53.000 It didn't seem related, though.
00:08:54.000 It just seems like something that's the insane lament.
00:08:58.000 So the attacker, we now know, is 24-year-old Hadi Matar.
00:09:02.000 Polish.
00:09:05.000 According to the European and Middle Eastern intelligence officials, they said that Mattar had been in direct contact with members of Iran's Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps on social media.
00:09:15.000 And that's, just so you know, a branch of the Iranian military founded by the Ayatollah Khamenei.
00:09:20.000 So Iran said this has nothing to do with the Iranian government and then proceeded to blame Salman Rushdie and his fans are like, really it was his fault because he shouldn't have said that.
00:09:28.000 We didn't do anything but shouldn't have said any of those things that we don't like.
00:09:30.000 Shouldn't have been in public either.
00:09:32.000 We had to stab him.
00:09:33.000 No choice.
00:09:34.000 Here's the thing.
00:09:35.000 We don't play by your rules.
00:09:36.000 This is the problem.
00:09:37.000 The left is going, why would you say something that would affront them?
00:09:38.000 Because we don't care.
00:09:40.000 We don't care if it's against their Islam.
00:09:43.000 We don't follow Islamic law.
00:09:44.000 We don't follow Sharia law.
00:09:45.000 And just like Dr. Ben Carson whispered until I fell asleep, he said that the Quran is completely incompatible with the Constitution.
00:09:52.000 This is exactly why.
00:09:54.000 This is a shock because it took place in New York.
00:09:56.000 This takes place every day across the Islamic world, and by the way, all the time in Europe.
00:10:01.000 The only place you're even remotely safe is the United States, if you speak out against Islam.
00:10:05.000 By the way, I'm not a big fan.
00:10:07.000 Muhammad?
00:10:08.000 Serial rapist, pedophile, warmonger.
00:10:10.000 So, just last week also another member of the IRGC, because I don't want to have to say Iranian Revolutionary Guard Corps.
00:10:17.000 It's like the abbreviation is still way too long.
00:10:19.000 They were charged with a plot to kill John Bolton.
00:10:23.000 And, uh, Justin, completely unrelated news.
00:10:25.000 Well, we were covering this on, uh, I think it was on Tuesday or Wednesday in Albuquerque.
00:10:29.000 There were Islamic people who were killed.
00:10:30.000 Right.
00:10:31.000 And they were suspecting white supremacy.
00:10:32.000 Uh, turns out it was, uh, actually a Muslim himself.
00:10:36.000 No.
00:10:37.000 In Albuquerque.
00:10:38.000 What?
00:10:38.000 51 year old named Mohammed Syed.
00:10:40.000 So.
00:10:40.000 He looks like he should be white.
00:10:42.000 Yeah.
00:10:42.000 Well, yeah.
00:10:43.000 He looks like he's wearing Islamic face.
00:10:45.000 Yes, he looks like he's the dad on happy days.
00:10:47.000 Terrorist like me.
00:10:48.000 Except it's unhappy days.
00:10:50.000 Well, in CNN and MSNBC, they could not get there fast enough to say, this is probably more evidence of white supremacy in the United States and we have to catch this killer.
00:10:58.000 Muslim shops were actually closing down.
00:11:00.000 Everybody was like, oh my gosh, there's a mad white gunman on the loose.
00:11:03.000 And they're just like, oh, it's one of ours.
00:11:04.000 And then nothing.
00:11:05.000 Yeah.
00:11:06.000 Then it's like, the call's coming from inside the house.
00:11:08.000 Exactly.
00:11:09.000 Like, oh, So really, as opposed to white supremacy, homegrown extremists, it was an imported actual terrorist.
00:11:17.000 No word on a fact check from CNN or any kind of retraction.
00:11:22.000 So let me just do the math here.
00:11:24.000 This last week we've seen a Muslim attempt to murder a writer for his opinions on Islam, Salman Rushdie, a plot from one of that same People's Front Liberation of Iranian No Bikinis, whatever it is.
00:11:35.000 Murder the former National Security Advisor, but you know, plot for it.
00:11:38.000 A Muslim arrested for murdering other Muslims.
00:11:40.000 Yeah.
00:11:41.000 It's basically gotten almost no national coverage.
00:11:45.000 And I think I'm figuring out why it's white supremacy.
00:11:57.000 That's the problem that we're facing, right?
00:11:58.000 It's the number one terrorist threat.
00:12:03.000 Are we all in agreement?
00:12:05.000 You nailed it.
00:12:05.000 It's white supremacy.
00:12:08.000 And authors.
00:12:09.000 They're a big problem.
00:12:10.000 Authors are a big problem.
00:12:11.000 Particularly the people who wrote the Quran.
00:12:12.000 Somebody got stabbed and is going to lose their eye, and the response of the left is like, well, you shouldn't have provoked it.
00:12:19.000 Yeah, that's not how America works.
00:12:21.000 That's not how freedom of speech works.
00:12:22.000 Where are you on the, well, you shouldn't have dressed like that?
00:12:25.000 Yeah, because it's the same comment.
00:12:26.000 It's the exact same argument.
00:12:27.000 To be fair, Salman Rushdie was a little cleavagey.
00:12:29.000 Well, yes.
00:12:30.000 He did have a good bosom.
00:12:31.000 I don't think he was a little stabby.
00:12:33.000 I don't think you can... I'm not saying it's justified.
00:12:36.000 I'm just saying it takes two to terrorist tango.
00:12:38.000 By the way, it's a live show Monday through Thursday, 10 a.m.
00:12:41.000 Eastern.
00:12:41.000 In case this gets removed, we never know.
00:12:44.000 You can watch us on YouTube Monday through Thursday at 10 a.m.
00:12:46.000 Eastern because the notifications don't work, but I recommend you watch on Rumble or, of course, on Mug Club where we do an additional full hour of show.
00:12:53.000 Monday through Thursday, 10 a.m.
00:12:54.000 Eastern.
00:12:54.000 Don't count our notification subscriptions.
00:12:55.000 We have about 19 devices here set for notifications.
00:12:59.000 Two come in.
00:13:00.000 I don't get one.
00:13:00.000 Yeah, I don't get one either.
00:13:01.000 Every once in a while I do, and I think they do it just to piss me off.
00:13:03.000 I would rather they be consistent.
00:13:05.000 Yeah.
00:13:05.000 Hey YouTube, can you get a notification for anyone who hits the bell and wants one?
00:13:08.000 I don't want one, okay?
00:13:10.000 Now let's move on to Elizabeth Warren, our favorite.
00:13:14.000 I don't know why she's allowed to... Cherokee people... Yeah, zero parts Cherokee.
00:13:18.000 Yes.
00:13:18.000 I have more Sub-Saharan African than she has Cherokee.
00:13:20.000 Yes.
00:13:21.000 But she wrote a book on it.
00:13:22.000 I've had a Cherokee, so I'm more Indian than her.
00:13:24.000 That's true, yeah.
00:13:25.000 And native, sorry.
00:13:26.000 And yours was grand.
00:13:28.000 What is it?
00:13:29.000 Mine was grand.
00:13:30.000 She said something against Ted Cruz, and Ted tweeted back, like, this isn't even 1 1,024th percent true.
00:13:37.000 And then she started shaking, you know, like the father-in-law at a wedding dance.
00:13:40.000 She always moves like this.
00:13:41.000 Ted hired an intern to get his Twitter, you know, a little more...
00:13:44.000 That's the only reason she can't be a dictator, because Hitler wouldn't have been taken seriously if he moved like this.
00:13:48.000 No.
00:13:49.000 No.
00:13:49.000 Be like, okay, he has rickets, we'll... They would have just committed him in those days.
00:13:54.000 It's like she's one of those Muppet guys who says, yep.
00:13:56.000 The first day on Sesame Street?
00:14:01.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:14:03.000 We'll show you some clips, you'll see, that's exactly right.
00:14:05.000 I don't do a Bill Maher impression, but this is Elizabeth Warren.
00:14:07.000 Pretty much is.
00:14:07.000 She's like the used car thing that just, the air thing, just keeps blowing all over the place.
00:14:11.000 All right.
00:14:13.000 Ollie Vitale, we need to get to the story.
00:14:14.000 In Ollie Vitale's new tell-all book about Elizabeth Warren, and you can comment below if you think she's the most just inherently unlikable, not the one you dislike personally, but the most inherently unlikable of all the people who run for office, there's a book from Ollie Vitale I'll just put that on the watch list.
00:14:32.000 Lamented the misogyny of the Democratic Party.
00:14:35.000 This is actually a quote where Elizabeth Warren said, everyone comes up to me and says, I would vote for you if you had a penis.
00:14:42.000 Everyone.
00:14:43.000 Everyone comes up to her.
00:14:44.000 And so, you know, here's the thing.
00:14:45.000 She might have, credit where it's due, she might have a point, which is why here in the
00:14:48.000 show we've actually, spared no expense, we've consulted with our experts for our new segment,
00:14:53.000 the electability test.
00:15:01.000 And we have a computer that actually creates algorithms so we can look at different possible electability scenarios.
00:15:07.000 And we ran thousands of scenarios through our algorithm to see if Elizabeth Warren would in fact be more electable if she had a penis.
00:15:14.000 Partial penis, whatever it is.
00:15:16.000 And we were able to create that hypothetical scenario, the machine that we have created for you today.
00:15:20.000 This is what we would see if she were running for president as a man.
00:15:27.000 Oh, it's a rhino.
00:15:29.000 It's a unicorn.
00:15:32.000 Yakuza's thinking her head's a seat.
00:15:35.000 So Electa, you know what, I will say that there is something there.
00:15:38.000 I do feel that I would be more likely to vote for her.
00:15:40.000 I mean, just for the sheer, like, I would like to see more of her speaking in public, because it would be hilarious.
00:15:45.000 You'll see.
00:15:46.000 Hold on a second.
00:15:46.000 Let's bring this back up.
00:15:47.000 What do you think there, Dave?
00:15:48.000 Do you think, I think, that she is An attention grabber?
00:15:51.000 I think she's more... I can see what her... She has a point!
00:15:55.000 Can you put a hat on that?
00:15:56.000 Uh... Yeah, she does have a point.
00:15:58.000 I mean, it'd have to be like a Mongolian war hat, something like that.
00:16:01.000 That will still give you monkey pox, by the way, just FY.
00:16:03.000 Yeah.
00:16:04.000 Yeah, well, if you look at her wrong, you can get monkey pox.
00:16:06.000 I don't know, I would give her probably a 20% increase in electability.
00:16:08.000 I would give her a raise in pay.
00:16:10.000 Yes.
00:16:11.000 Yeah.
00:16:11.000 No matter where she works.
00:16:12.000 30%, yeah.
00:16:12.000 Yeah, probably 30% pay.
00:16:16.000 I'd stir some powwow chow with it.
00:16:18.000 Yep.
00:16:18.000 Oh, jeez.
00:16:19.000 I agree.
00:16:19.000 It's like a pestle, if you have a good mortar and pestle.
00:16:22.000 Yes, it is.
00:16:23.000 She could pestle her way to a general.
00:16:24.000 I don't know how she'd do with the Electoral College, but we can just do away with that.
00:16:27.000 Alright, you guys let us know below.
00:16:28.000 This has been our electability test.
00:16:37.000 People always tell me, like, I'd bang you if you had a vagina.
00:16:39.000 So I know the feeling.
00:16:40.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:16:41.000 Put it right on your forehead.
00:16:42.000 What do you think the odds are that anyone, one person, has actually ever said that to her?
00:16:47.000 What are the chances?
00:16:48.000 What are the odds?
00:16:49.000 I think her husband said it to her.
00:16:50.000 Well, that's not the question.
00:16:52.000 The question is, what are the odds that everyone has said it to her?
00:16:56.000 Well, I know.
00:16:56.000 I'm just, I'm making it harder, Stephen.
00:16:58.000 I'm tying a hand behind my back a little bit.
00:17:00.000 I don't know if one person... Everyone she's ever Yeah, everyone's never met.
00:17:03.000 Nobody would say it like that.
00:17:04.000 They'd be like, oh, if you were a man, I would vote for you.
00:17:06.000 Maybe I could see that.
00:17:07.000 I still doubt that.
00:17:08.000 But like, hey, if you had a penis, I'd vote for you.
00:17:11.000 Yeah, like one of her supporters is showing up at a Beto conference.
00:17:14.000 If you had a penis, then you would have my vote.
00:17:17.000 But since you don't, it's out of my hands.
00:17:18.000 I just don't know what to do.
00:17:19.000 Maybe it's funny to you, Mother Effer.
00:17:20.000 No, she does what Donald Trump does, where he says, you know, everyone always tells me, I would never say this, they say, you're the best looking man.
00:17:27.000 That's what they say.
00:17:27.000 And I say, well, look, I wouldn't go that far.
00:17:29.000 But they say that's what they tell me.
00:17:31.000 But no one says that.
00:17:32.000 He's not serious.
00:17:33.000 No, he's like, he's bullshitting.
00:17:34.000 With her, they're writing a book about it and it's serious.
00:17:37.000 Yeah.
00:17:37.000 Called If I Had a Penis by Elizabeth Warren.
00:17:39.000 Penis like me.
00:17:40.000 If only I had a penis.
00:17:41.000 If only I had a penis.
00:17:43.000 And you, Scarecrow, will get courage.
00:17:45.000 It was the character cut from Elizabeth Warren.
00:17:47.000 Like the cowardly lion, only instead of a pendant, she gets a dildo.
00:17:51.000 And you, Scarecrow, will get a penis.
00:17:54.000 I wasn't gonna rape ya, duh.
00:17:56.000 We have to put some dog to sleep.
00:17:58.000 Which one is it they all point to Elizabeth Warren?
00:18:02.000 Here's some blankets.
00:18:04.000 So, we have a lot to talk about today.
00:18:06.000 First, before we get to Bill Maher, we do want to play a clip of Bill Maher, because it does sort of lead this segment.
00:18:11.000 And I want you to comment below, have you agreed with this idea of disbanding the FBI?
00:18:15.000 Have you agreed with the idea that it's time to defund these intelligence communities and the IRS?
00:18:19.000 Sometimes we see people on the right saying, that's extremist.
00:18:22.000 We don't need that kind of extreme.
00:18:23.000 How is it extremist to say, eh, people who are acting completely outside of the law with no real oversight because they are the law, they're judge dreading this, you know what, we need to hold them accountable.
00:18:33.000 I don't see it as extremist.
00:18:36.000 You guys can comment below because I'm not gonna, if you want me to stop saying it, I'm not gonna.
00:18:40.000 But Bill Maher led this with this talking point that comes directly from Media Matters.
00:18:46.000 No.
00:18:46.000 Does that camera work?
00:18:46.000 Okay.
00:18:47.000 Okay.
00:18:48.000 I won't wake up, I get that it's Monday morning for crying out loud.
00:18:53.000 Also, how is that so far away from your camera thing?
00:18:55.000 You have to reach over like you're crossing the wall of China for crying out loud.
00:18:59.000 I'm kind of retarded.
00:19:01.000 So Bill Maher led it with this talking point that did come from Media Matters and was disseminated through CNN, MSNBC, Huffington Post, then CNN again four days late because Brian Stelter had to get on the action and he only has one slot per week.
00:19:12.000 Bill Maher decided to, uh, take a jab, and, you know, look, it's all in good fun, but, uh, I'd prefer if it were funny, and his audience didn't really think so either.
00:19:21.000 Here he is discussing, uh, this show in a tweet.
00:19:24.000 Now, all across the right-wing media, it's war!
00:19:27.000 They're literally using this word, civil war, war.
00:19:32.000 There's a right-wing podcaster, I think the name is Stephen Crowder, said, sleep well, tomorrow is war.
00:19:32.000 What's that funny?
00:19:40.000 And then tomorrow came and there was no war.
00:19:45.000 Unless by war he means more podcasting.
00:19:51.000 Yeah, war.
00:19:54.000 That crowd animator is the most valuable man in showbiz.
00:19:56.000 Absolutely.
00:19:57.000 Can't lose him.
00:20:00.000 Wait, okay.
00:20:01.000 Let's go to this.
00:20:01.000 Here's the thing.
00:20:02.000 I'll come back with that.
00:20:03.000 Yeah.
00:20:04.000 Here's the issue.
00:20:05.000 Look, I've talked about this before.
00:20:06.000 They want to try and make it seem as though the verbiage of war.
00:20:08.000 By the way, this guy, hopefully you have the camera there, Tim.
00:20:11.000 This guy, Andrew Breitbart, you know, I tweeted out a gif of good lord!
00:20:14.000 Tweeted out a gif of him saying war as well when he talked about war against the media.
00:20:18.000 Are you just hitting this thing with a clown shoe?
00:20:20.000 Are you just hitting it randomly?
00:20:21.000 Are you hitting it with your forehead wiener?
00:20:25.000 It's like Halloween 2 on the weekly porn.
00:20:29.000 I'm getting better!
00:20:32.000 So the left has been trying to say that if you say, and this is the thing, they want you to be afraid to use terminology like war.
00:20:37.000 Look, how often do you hear not only politicians, not only public figures, but you hear athletes were going to war, right?
00:20:43.000 When you were playing football.
00:20:45.000 We're going to war this week.
00:20:46.000 And you hear political war, war in the middle class.
00:20:48.000 It's something that's been used for a very long time.
00:20:50.000 However, the left tries to do the sleight of hand, and they try and make it seem as though Republicans, conservatives, you are constantly calling for actual wars.
00:21:00.000 And if you don't believe me, Believe your lion eyes and ears.
00:21:03.000 Here we go.
00:21:04.000 50 years ago, this country launched a war on poverty.
00:21:08.000 Yes, it worked.
00:21:09.000 Has it worked?
00:21:10.000 And I'm not talking about the wars in Afghanistan or Iraq or the instability in the Middle East.
00:21:18.000 I am talking about the war being waged in America today.
00:21:22.000 Most notable is Judge Michael Ludig, who will say in his testimony that President Trump and his allies instigated a war on democracy.
00:21:31.000 The Republican Party declared war on democracy on January 6th.
00:21:34.000 I mean, the idea that there was a war room that was overseeing what was going on in Iowa on January 6th is absolutely chilling.
00:21:44.000 And if there ever was a situation... A war on what?
00:21:47.000 A war on us?
00:21:48.000 That's right.
00:21:49.000 A war on our democracy.
00:21:50.000 They simply cannot or will not recognize that 30 years ago, the Republican Party declared war on them and war on democracy itself.
00:21:58.000 After this quick break, we'll reveal the latest outcome of the Conservative War on Education.
00:22:03.000 Why?
00:22:04.000 Is my question.
00:22:05.000 Why has the GOP picked schools as the battleground to fight these culture war issues?
00:22:11.000 Because this week, Tennessee has become ground zero in the conservative war on education.
00:22:16.000 You've covered this guy for a year at least now.
00:22:19.000 Is Trump just using this as his shield?
00:22:21.000 This culture war?
00:22:22.000 I will say, you know, in your opening segment, Professor Bridges showed a very effective counter to a culture war issue in her testimony.
00:22:33.000 Sounds like a guy in Men in Black whose head grew back after a midget tricket.
00:22:36.000 all out war for power and we're seeing the latest antics are made clear they
00:22:36.000 What a war.
00:22:43.000 are at war with Mickey Mouse this is a war Mickey Mouse that has been going on
00:22:48.000 for over 20 years and longer than that Republican legislatures are waging a
00:22:54.000 war on women All women!
00:22:57.000 Comedians have been under attack for quite some time and I need to stick up for my tribe.
00:23:03.000 This war on jokes must end.
00:23:06.000 Well, hold on a second.
00:23:07.000 That's way more incendiary because he just also instated tribalism.
00:23:10.000 I need to stand up for my tribe.
00:23:10.000 He invokes tribalism.
00:23:12.000 Okay.
00:23:14.000 War on jokes, alright.
00:23:17.000 Outside of this- That's you!
00:23:18.000 You're waging a war on jokes!
00:23:19.000 Outside of it's- it's not funny.
00:23:21.000 You should drop the- the Hiroshima bomb.
00:23:25.000 You didn't know.
00:23:26.000 Funny.
00:23:27.000 Outside of it being not funny, I was pissed because I was just like, I looked down and I'm like, he basically just gave you a hard time for everybody other than him and Democrats and Libs knowing what you meant.
00:23:36.000 Everybody knew that that wasn't an actual call for war, and he's like, we woke up the next morning and there's no war, and I'm like, yeah, we weren't calling for violence.
00:23:44.000 Because you would have been really mad if there was actual violence.
00:23:46.000 True, yeah.
00:23:46.000 Most of the operators on our... And by the way, that show... A writer just got paid to just slap it together, let's be honest, guys.
00:23:52.000 He's like, slap my name on there, like Ben Affleck with Good Will Hunting.
00:23:55.000 So, not to mention, you see that the war rhetoric, where they say that the Republicans, conservatives have been declaring war on women for 30 years.
00:24:01.000 I mean, I was still playing with my Teddy Ruxpin, so that couldn't have been me.
00:24:04.000 But now they're saying that I'm the one who's declaring war and you're the one declaring war.
00:24:07.000 It's not just that I said it.
00:24:08.000 I said something that all of you are saying, obviously.
00:24:10.000 There's nothing necessarily original there of invoking the analogy of war.
00:24:15.000 That's obvious.
00:24:16.000 But here's something else.
00:24:17.000 The leftists, of course, have made far more, and very recently, egregious, blatant public calls to active violence.
00:24:25.000 Believe your lion eyes and ears.
00:24:26.000 If you see anybody from that cabinet in a restaurant, in a department store, at a gasoline station, you get out and you create a crowd.
00:24:35.000 And you push back on them.
00:24:40.000 And you tell them they're not welcome anymore, anywhere.
00:24:47.000 There it is, I told you.
00:24:48.000 You've got to get more confrontational.
00:24:51.000 I'd vote for her if she had a penis.
00:24:52.000 You've got to make sure that they know that we mean business.
00:24:55.000 Go to the Hill today.
00:24:58.000 Get up and, please, get up in the face of some Congress people.
00:25:04.000 They go low, we kick.
00:25:07.000 I want to tell you, Gorsuch, I want to tell you, Kavanaugh, you have released the whirlwind and you will pay the price.
00:25:17.000 You cannot be civil with a political party that wants to destroy what you stand for, what you care about.
00:25:26.000 Ah, so even there she sort of tacitly acknowledged the conservatives want to destroy what they stand for, yes, largely communism, but then said you cannot be civil.
00:25:33.000 And of course we had Kamala Harris saying they shouldn't stop, they should continue to riot.
00:25:36.000 This is so funny, this is the first time there's been this kind of call to violence against our men, our men in blue.
00:25:43.000 First off, you're the FBI, you're not our men in blue, okay?
00:25:45.000 Conservatives have supported their local law enforcement.
00:25:48.000 They have a problem with federal overreach.
00:25:50.000 It's entirely consistent with the concept of federalism.
00:25:52.000 We believe in states' rights before federal rights, especially when there's no oversight.
00:25:55.000 And by the way, this isn't unprecedented.
00:25:58.000 For more proof, check out The Summer of Love and $4 billion in damages and thousands of arrests and casualties.
00:26:03.000 Yeah.
00:26:03.000 And they're basically blaming us for what they thought Donald Trump did when he said your rhetoric is what caused January 6th.
00:26:09.000 Well, look at the rhetoric that you guys just had and look at the damage that we just talked about.
00:26:12.000 It was very literal.
00:26:13.000 People were harassed in diners and then, of course, when they doxxed the Supreme Court justices, people were protesting at their houses violently.
00:26:20.000 And that's obvious.
00:26:21.000 We knew that that was going to happen.
00:26:22.000 When you say get in their faces and let them know that they can't be anywhere in public, what do you think is going to happen?
00:26:27.000 That's exactly what's gonna happen.
00:26:28.000 Protest?
00:26:29.000 Fine.
00:26:29.000 That's different.
00:26:29.000 That isn't.
00:26:30.000 Make sure they know they're unwelcome at the gasoline station!
00:26:33.000 Oh, that was a rhetorical question.
00:26:34.000 Yeah.
00:26:34.000 See, I've been watching too much Bill Maher where I've lost a sense.
00:26:36.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:26:37.000 Hold on.
00:26:38.000 Let me... Yeah, you got it.
00:26:40.000 Oh, okay.
00:26:40.000 There we go.
00:26:41.000 Alright.
00:26:42.000 And we'll literally play, because Pierce Morgan was on Bill Maher's show, and Pierce Morgan said, Have you ever seen a happy vegan?
00:26:47.000 And he's like, Yes.
00:26:50.000 And he goes, they're always mad, they're always hangry.
00:26:52.000 No, no, okay, that's not true, okay, that's not true.
00:26:56.000 Tell me he's a vegan.
00:26:57.000 No, he's like a vegetarian, but he's just like, come on, you're supposed to be a comedian!
00:27:01.000 Don't step on it!
00:27:02.000 That's not true.
00:27:03.000 There are a lot of good vegans, okay, people?
00:27:05.000 Ugh.
00:27:06.000 Alright.
00:27:06.000 So let's get to Bill Maher here, and I'd love for you to comment below, because I see a lot of people on the right saying, hey, he's turning toward the right.
00:27:13.000 Maybe on some issues, and I want to be clear, a lot of people, it's a cop-out.
00:27:17.000 When people say, I didn't leave the left, the left left me.
00:27:20.000 No, they didn't.
00:27:21.000 This is the same party as it's been really since, it can certainly go back to Carter to today.
00:27:26.000 Maybe JFK might be different because JFK would be considered a moderate Republican today.
00:27:30.000 The Republicans have actually just become a little more moderate and the left has maybe gone more left, but the truth is the Democratic Party has consistently been remarkably left and certainly Since 2009, certainly since Barack Obama.
00:27:42.000 So people now peeling off like the Bill Mahers of the world?
00:27:45.000 No, actually this is the monster that you created and I really think they need to sleep in the bed that they made.
00:27:51.000 I'm not going to bring anyone over to our side who's just trying to go to where the money is because their ratings are in the crapper.
00:27:57.000 So let's get to Bill Maher.
00:27:59.000 A little bit here and I look It was an aside.
00:28:03.000 Yeah, I wish it were funnier.
00:28:05.000 I'm glad that he addressed the show.
00:28:06.000 It's kind of it's fine I don't really think that he thinks we're trying to take anyone to war I think his writers and producers give it in to him and he's phoning it in But this little prick just goes where the money is And his hot takes aren't even necessarily edgy.
00:28:20.000 I think we have a montage of him throughout the years.
00:28:22.000 Right?
00:28:22.000 That is not the origin of the Tea Party.
00:28:24.000 What happened?
00:28:24.000 What was the origin of the Tea Party five years ago?
00:28:26.000 It wasn't about bailouts.
00:28:27.000 Sure it was.
00:28:28.000 It was not.
00:28:28.000 It was about a mortgage bill, and then it was about Obamacare, and then it was about the stimulus, and it was about a black president.
00:28:34.000 But let's... Oh, there he is, accusing the right of all being racist.
00:28:39.000 But they're not the same.
00:28:40.000 They're not gun crazy.
00:28:41.000 They're not violent crazy.
00:28:43.000 Who goes to gun shows?
00:28:45.000 Who was for the war in Iraq?
00:28:47.000 And I would never say that all Republicans are racist, but if you are a racist, and you're looking for a political party, this is the obvious choice.
00:28:55.000 This is the mousetrap, at least.
00:28:57.000 Right.
00:28:58.000 They hate, they hate being called racist, conservative.
00:29:01.000 But isn't denying racism itself a form of racism?
00:29:06.000 Pouty.
00:29:07.000 What the hell?
00:29:07.000 Lame.
00:29:08.000 Limbskinned.
00:29:08.000 Hysterical.
00:29:09.000 And just not that bright.
00:29:11.000 Does that sound like anyone we know today?
00:29:14.000 Yeah, your last clip.
00:29:16.000 who All right and finally new rule you can't demand that
00:29:16.000 Who?
00:29:16.000 Who?
00:29:26.000 everyone stand for the flag if you've colluded with a foreign government
00:29:29.000 Do some very very Russian policy push that flag represents?
00:29:34.000 Finally, new rule, the party of Reagan has to explain how it has become the party of Putin.
00:29:42.000 While real time was on our break last month, the infamous p-tape was finally found.
00:29:48.000 It's a high-definition video of a press conference in Helsinki, and it's irrefutable evidence of a Russian ho, and his name is Donald Trump.
00:29:58.000 So here's the thing, I like it when people sort of, if they are now awakened, not woke, but awakened, but where's the flash of genius?
00:30:04.000 He went for years on tyrants, accusing everyone, all of you, anyone who voted Republican, not just conservatives, of being racist.
00:30:11.000 And then he even used the leftist tactic of, isn't denying racism in and of itself?
00:30:17.000 Okay, racism.
00:30:18.000 No!
00:30:19.000 Isn't denouncing the Nazis, isn't that in and of itself a form of being a Nazi?
00:30:25.000 Not at all!
00:30:26.000 It's the laziest kind of argument that he would use for years.
00:30:29.000 What did we have?
00:30:30.000 We have Republicans are all racist.
00:30:31.000 The Tea Party is racist.
00:30:32.000 You can only oppose Barack Obama if you're racist.
00:30:34.000 If you're a gun owner, you're a dummy.
00:30:36.000 We had Donald Trump, Russia.
00:30:38.000 We had all of this stuff, and then now he only, once the ratings are not doing nearly as well, and I think especially when he noticed he's tried to go off on his own, which we'll get to in a second with his podcast, decided he was against those views.
00:30:50.000 And I hate to use the word grifting.
00:30:52.000 I think, I just don't know how genuine it is.
00:30:55.000 I'd love to have him on, Bill.
00:30:57.000 I know you're watching to talk about it, because now he says this.
00:31:01.000 Okay, but if Putin thought Trump was really that supportive of him, Why didn't he invade when Trump was in office?
00:31:09.000 It's at least worth asking that question if you're not locked into one intransigent thought.
00:31:14.000 Well, then get in your DeLorean, asshole!
00:31:19.000 Because Putin was intimidated by him.
00:31:21.000 Has he come out and said, oh, hey, I was wrong?
00:31:24.000 No.
00:31:24.000 No, that's the issue.
00:31:25.000 No, nobody does.
00:31:26.000 No.
00:31:27.000 You absolutely should, because all of those clips played together.
00:31:30.000 This has to be somebody who doesn't care or really have a moral center.
00:31:35.000 or maybe an ideological center. He's just, like you said, going where the money is
00:31:39.000 because they completely contradict each other. And it's not like we're taking clips from like
00:31:44.000 25 years ago and comparing to today. Like you can have that moment like you said,
00:31:47.000 but we don't see the moment where he's like, hey, I was wrong about all these things and now
00:31:51.000 he's saying something. If I came out tomorrow and I was pro-abortion all the way up until birth,
00:31:55.000 you know, including after birth period, and I supported the Virginia, you'd say I have some
00:32:00.000 If I came out and I said I endorse Bernie Sanders, you would have some questions, rightfully so.
00:32:04.000 I wouldn't be allowed to just continue on down the trail and act like I had always been in that camp.
00:32:09.000 And I just think that people, if they're coming over, they need to have some questions asked of them.
00:32:14.000 Like Carrie Lake, last week on the show, I said, look, you were a Democrat at one point.
00:32:16.000 Why?
00:32:16.000 She said, it's because I was very anti-war.
00:32:18.000 And I thought that McCain was sort of being from Arizona, another side of the same coin, with George W. Bush, Barack Obama.
00:32:24.000 I thought they were both liberal.
00:32:25.000 Barack Obama was the most likely to end the war.
00:32:27.000 She answered the question.
00:32:28.000 Yeah.
00:32:29.000 So this is what Bill Maher did.
00:32:30.000 And now let's listen to him again when he talks about this podcast, the podcasting, just in case you've forgotten.
00:32:36.000 So now all across the right-wing media, it's war!
00:32:39.000 They're literally using this word, civil war, war.
00:32:45.000 There's a right-wing podcaster, I think his name is Steven Crowder, said, sleep well, tomorrow is war.
00:32:53.000 And then tomorrow came and there was no war.
00:32:57.000 Unless by war he means more podcasting.
00:33:00.000 Podcasting.
00:33:01.000 Yeah, war.
00:33:02.000 War.
00:33:03.000 And I get it.
00:33:07.000 He's on HBO.
00:33:08.000 Podcasting is silly, right?
00:33:10.000 You'd never have anything to do with that, Bill Maher.
00:33:12.000 Oh, that's right.
00:33:13.000 Just, just really badly.
00:33:16.000 All of a sudden, without those HBO dollars and rerunning four times a day, it's a little bit tough to get those, get those ratings.
00:33:23.000 Numbers are a little low there.
00:33:24.000 Yeah.
00:33:25.000 And you know what the truth is?
00:33:25.000 I wouldn't, because war, I mean, you might want to check your comments section there and of course, keep it civil, everybody.
00:33:32.000 But I wouldn't want to hurt Bill Maher's feelings.
00:33:34.000 Kyle Kalinske? He does a great impression of you.
00:33:38.000 I didn't know who he was.
00:33:41.000 Have you ever seen the face swap version that he does of you? On Instagram?
00:33:46.000 No.
00:33:47.000 Oh, find that before we leave. What's that? Did I say Kalinske?
00:33:50.000 Sorry. Sorry, Kyle.
00:33:52.000 We don't have to look at this.
00:33:54.000 It's amazing.
00:33:55.000 To you it was amazing.
00:33:57.000 I- I- I- It wasn't- I- I- I don't- I- I don't care.
00:33:59.000 People have done me and I can laugh at it.
00:34:01.000 But he's your face.
00:34:02.000 He's got your face.
00:34:04.000 And he's doing an impression of you.
00:34:05.000 You've never seen this?
00:34:06.000 I saw what... Anyway, the point... It doesn't matter.
00:34:09.000 Yeah, it doesn't matter.
00:34:10.000 The point was... What was the point?
00:34:16.000 They're both high, but I just like that Joe is so aware of being a comic that he... Well, he's just laughing.
00:34:22.000 He knows you can laugh at yourself.
00:34:23.000 Yeah.
00:34:23.000 That's what's... I do find that odd in that clip.
00:34:26.000 And by the way, we'll be taking your impressions on Mug Club, I think.
00:34:28.000 We'll be doing some joke... Viewers will submit some jokes later on.
00:34:33.000 Oh, okay.
00:34:33.000 It'll be fun.
00:34:34.000 And here's the thing.
00:34:36.000 We didn't just podcast, just to be clear, the war.
00:34:38.000 That's not what happened.
00:34:39.000 We called Republicans to the mat.
00:34:41.000 By the way, the war was really more so waged on Republicans.
00:34:43.000 I said, by two o'clock today, if you do not actively call for disbanding of the FBI, I will not support you.
00:34:47.000 I will actually come out against you.
00:34:49.000 Like him as a person, Dan Crenshaw, you've got some splainin' to do.
00:34:52.000 Yeah.
00:34:53.000 Ted Cruz, when he was on, we were like, hey, Section 230, come on.
00:34:56.000 Section 230 right now.
00:34:57.000 Ted Cruz has been pretty strong from what I've seen on the FBI issue, though.
00:34:59.000 He's gotten better.
00:35:00.000 I bought a Rambo bandana.
00:35:01.000 Yes.
00:35:01.000 Did you?
00:35:02.000 And I realized it wasn't literal.
00:35:04.000 I decided to just sweat to the ocean.
00:35:05.000 He didn't buy a Rambo bandana.
00:35:06.000 He took it off of his commemorative gizmo.
00:35:08.000 That's true.
00:35:09.000 That's true.
00:35:09.000 Drummond's too.
00:35:10.000 The new badge.
00:35:11.000 Don't you dare.
00:35:12.000 Mansplained gizmo to me.
00:35:14.000 I didn't mansplain gizmo to you.
00:35:15.000 I was just saying, I preferred Gremlins 2 when I was a kid, and then when I re-watched it, I was like, ooh, this is not good.
00:35:20.000 Oh no, it's a rough, rough movie.
00:35:22.000 So we call the Republicans to the mat with the FBI, including Kerry Lake, likely future governor of...
00:35:28.000 And this is one thing, too... Arizona.
00:35:28.000 Phoenix.
00:35:30.000 Sorry, of Arizona.
00:35:31.000 She's from Phoenix, but of Arizona.
00:35:32.000 Yes, I know.
00:35:33.000 But you can... You know what?
00:35:34.000 Admonish me.
00:35:35.000 Look, if Bill Maher's never going to admit that he's wrong, I said Phoenix.
00:35:38.000 I should have said Arizona.
00:35:39.000 I think she lives in Phoenix now, to be true.
00:35:41.000 She's not promised.
00:35:42.000 There's no governor of Phoenix.
00:35:42.000 It doesn't matter.
00:35:45.000 Okay, look, I screwed up, people.
00:35:47.000 People make mistakes, okay?
00:35:50.000 And I don't do a Bill Maher impression.
00:35:51.000 Kyle Dunnigan does.
00:35:52.000 Maybe we can get him on the show.
00:35:53.000 He does a fantastic impression.
00:35:54.000 It's not one that I do.
00:35:55.000 Do not compare anything that we do here today with Kyle Dunnigan's impression of Bill Maher.
00:35:59.000 It's unbelievable.
00:36:01.000 And you don't see this a lot with people on the left.
00:36:02.000 This is where the right, we sort of devour our own.
00:36:05.000 People say, why don't you do more?
00:36:06.000 Well, look.
00:36:07.000 We do as much as we—no one expects Jimmy Kimmel to change the laws in the country immediately.
00:36:11.000 No one expects that of Jimmy Fallon or even Trevor Noah.
00:36:14.000 But being able to call Republicans to the mat—not to mention, by the way, all of the pending lawsuits with Big Tech, which you're well aware of and I can't discuss in full.
00:36:22.000 Hey, you know, Bill Maher, how many of those have you waged against the establishment?
00:36:27.000 Are you working along with HBO, who half the time copy—they might copyright this video so that it gets removed, just like Stephen Colbert, so they can eliminate criticism of Bill Maher, who has a tough time, you know, tough time filling filling seats in theaters and has a tough time getting
00:36:40.000 people to listen to his podcast when it's not on HBO.
00:36:42.000 I understand why he'd want to hang on to his slice of the pie there.
00:36:46.000 And also, which clip do we have coming up? Which clip is this? I'm trying to remember.
00:36:49.000 From Bill Maher. Do we know?
00:36:52.000 Well, I'm not sure. There's another clip coming up. Is this the takes that he doesn't like?
00:36:57.000 He has a take that he basically wouldn't allow on a show.
00:37:00.000 Is that what it is?
00:37:01.000 Oh, let me see.
00:37:01.000 Let's see what the next clip is about.
00:37:02.000 This is a short clip.
00:37:03.000 Appropriating sounds like an unforgivable sin until you remember that's what acting is.
00:37:09.000 That's why acting jobs are called roles.
00:37:11.000 And isn't the best acting always about making us feel our common humanity beyond separate identities?
00:37:18.000 Why don't we just go by merit and let the best actor win?
00:37:22.000 You know, it's so funny that he mentions this, because, and I have to talk with half-Asian Bill about single-party, dual-party, because his booker may have been in New York or California, where, you know, they're not free, but they reached out to me.
00:37:33.000 Was it 2017 that Beauty and the Beast did the remake?
00:37:35.000 I think it was 2017.
00:37:36.000 Everyone here is going to be like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:37:39.000 Well, you know what?
00:37:40.000 Yakuza has a commemorative beast.
00:37:42.000 Oh, that's true.
00:37:43.000 Zip it!
00:37:45.000 I remember speaking with the Booker at Bill Maher, and I have all this somewhere, or maybe I don't, if you're not allowed.
00:37:51.000 I don't.
00:37:52.000 Yeah, let's say you don't.
00:37:53.000 Yeah.
00:37:54.000 And I remember them asking me, the Booker at Bill Maher, they said, what do you think about the Donald Trump-Russia issue?
00:37:59.000 And I said, what do you mean?
00:38:01.000 They said, what do you think about the colluding with Russia?
00:38:03.000 I said, oh my god, has he been colluding with Russia?
00:38:05.000 They said, well, you know, that's what people believe.
00:38:09.000 I said, is there new evidence that I didn't know about?
00:38:12.000 I said, well, no, I just want to know.
00:38:13.000 I said, oh, so you want me to speculate on something that is likely untrue but for which there is certainly no evidence?
00:38:17.000 It's not really what I do.
00:38:18.000 I said, what I did find funny is I saw Beauty and the Beast, a live-action one the other day, and I think it was yesterday, and I do find it funny that Oscar So White is trending when Mary J. Blige played an armoire slash queen in whiteface in 1740s slavery France.
00:38:32.000 So, you know, maybe they came out even on that one?
00:38:34.000 She goes, oh, so you want to talk about Disney?
00:38:37.000 I said, no, I'm talking about the woke brigade cancel culture over the Oscars, and they don't acknowledge that it goes both ways.
00:38:44.000 A dollar short and a day late for Bill Maher.
00:38:47.000 Same views now, and by the way, of course, I was never on the program.
00:38:49.000 Which I think you should be.
00:38:51.000 I mean, honestly, I think that you and Bill could have a very interesting discussion.
00:38:55.000 He's never had Dennis Miller on, he's never had Norm Macdonald on, he's never had Nick DiPaolo on, he's never had Bill Burr on, he's never had Patrice on, Geraldo.
00:39:00.000 He did have Joe Rogan on once, and chastised him for fear factor, because Bill Maher was offended at it.
00:39:06.000 That's how you know it's good.
00:39:07.000 Because he ruined American culture?
00:39:09.000 Yeah.
00:39:09.000 Like, okay, having people eat pig testicles.
00:39:12.000 What?
00:39:13.000 Come on.
00:39:14.000 I didn't even know that was a challenge.
00:39:14.000 That's gross.
00:39:17.000 It's Tuesday.
00:39:19.000 It's two-for-one bull testicle Tuesday.
00:39:22.000 Lamb fries.
00:39:22.000 Yes, I'm a winner.
00:39:24.000 And here's the thing with Bill Maher.
00:39:26.000 Look.
00:39:27.000 Even his own, you've talked about this, I know you've found him funny in the past.
00:39:30.000 I have, I found a lot of politically, I'm not, yeah, I don't want to lie about it, like I found, there's a lot of politically correct and funny, I found some of his specials funny.
00:39:37.000 Have you seen his new special?
00:39:39.000 I did not.
00:39:39.000 I said some.
00:39:40.000 I texted you, I remember, I think we were in, where were we?
00:39:43.000 We were in Colorado Springs, and I was watching, I remember my hotel, and I was like, you have to tune into HBO and watch the new special, Adulting.
00:39:50.000 That's what he called it.
00:39:50.000 Oh, it was.
00:39:51.000 It might have been.
00:39:51.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:39:52.000 And you were like, I'm not going to do that.
00:39:54.000 I knew where he was at.
00:39:56.000 Well, with Bill, I think there is a genuine part of him when it comes to comedians where he is defending it because that's what he is.
00:40:04.000 But I think it is definitely angled at his own speech, not necessarily the speech of every comic.
00:40:09.000 Exactly.
00:40:09.000 Whereas we have consistently defended the speech of every comic we don't like.
00:40:13.000 Did you just call Bill a comedian?
00:40:15.000 He's a comedian.
00:40:16.000 He's a comedian.
00:40:17.000 Don't do that.
00:40:18.000 That's lazy.
00:40:19.000 No, no, no.
00:40:19.000 It's not lazy.
00:40:20.000 Listen, I'm making... It doesn't matter.
00:40:21.000 You may not find him funny, but he's a comedian.
00:40:23.000 No, I didn't realize that that was how he came up.
00:40:25.000 Right now he's styling himself as a political commentator who does a quick little stand-up right before his show and then goes and talks to people.
00:40:32.000 That's not funny.
00:40:33.000 He was a comic in the 80s.
00:40:35.000 I'm not saying that's what you do.
00:40:36.000 You actually go out and tour live.
00:40:37.000 You just said in a nice way exactly what Norm said where he said, yeah, you know, you have guys, I'm not like a political guy, you know, and you have, you know, like Bill Maher on there with, you know, what's the name of the guy who won the Nobel, the Pulitzer, Will Oh gosh, Will, what's his name?
00:40:51.000 I'm trying to remember, the conservative commentator.
00:40:53.000 Sitting there, Bill Maher talking with, you know, talking with, like, Thomas Sowell, you know?
00:41:00.000 Where's this guy going to end it?
00:41:04.000 You know, I don't know anything, but he doesn't know anything either, but he makes it seem like I know something there.
00:41:08.000 So I'm basically the everyman in this conversation, and I never looked at Bill Maher as a comedian.
00:41:13.000 I looked at him as somebody who hosted a show and tried to be funny.
00:41:15.000 By the way, watched the show today to see what he said about us, and I was like, this is very unfunny.
00:41:21.000 And I'm not just saying, like, for massive, you know, like...
00:41:24.000 That's actually self-admitted as well.
00:41:25.000 for the general audiences I would have to be well here's where I will give you I will give you uh
00:41:31.000 some credit here I'll give you some some points where it's due um with crowd animators his own
00:41:36.000 audience often finds him not good that's actually self-admitted as well reacted like they do in
00:41:45.000 Karachi when someone burns a Quran Karachi's in Pakistan sorry I thought you knew that they did
00:41:52.000 know information that shouldn't be out there that Trump has Trump supporters like no this is
00:41:56.000 politically motivated they say if you lock him up how are we gonna lock her up
00:42:04.000 That one was kind of funny.
00:42:05.000 That one was kind of funny.
00:42:06.000 But here's the thing.
00:42:07.000 But then they don't laugh because it's not on the side of the politics.
00:42:10.000 Exactly.
00:42:10.000 That bothers me so much about it.
00:42:12.000 Like, why always side with that?
00:42:13.000 He's like Kurt Cobain, you know, minus the talent, in that he's mad at his audience for wanting him to play something that he doesn't want to play anymore.
00:42:20.000 Minus a good wife.
00:42:24.000 Eventually.
00:42:26.000 One of these days.
00:42:27.000 So here's the thing, and I'd like for you to comment below.
00:42:29.000 I think that you always have to beware charlatans in your midst.
00:42:32.000 And by the way, they also come in the shape of people who claim to be Republicans.
00:42:35.000 That's why we've waged our war just as much against conservatives, against Republicans, as we have against liberals.
00:42:39.000 Bill Maher right now, I see a lot of people who share some segments from this show and not aware of the exact segment before that where he was supporting the raid On Donald Trump.
00:42:47.000 This guy wants to have it both ways.
00:42:49.000 He has to play ball for the networks.
00:42:50.000 And then when he tries to do his own podcast, which is really just him getting high with semi-interesting guests and then some really interesting guests, it falls flat on its face.
00:42:57.000 He can't make it work on his own.
00:42:59.000 And he's always a day late.
00:43:01.000 A dollar short.
00:43:01.000 Matt was the one who said that.
00:43:02.000 Which brings us to the formulaic Bill Maher jokes.
00:43:06.000 Bill Maher's top 7 plus 1 hot takes this week.
00:43:08.000 7 plus 1.
00:43:08.000 You forgot 5th Ann in the chamber!
00:43:16.000 This is 7 Plus 1 Hot Takes from Bill Maher.
00:43:20.000 I think this is the wrong document.
00:43:21.000 I don't think this is... What?
00:43:22.000 No?
00:43:24.000 I think I have it right.
00:43:25.000 You tell me as I go out here without a net and... There we go.
00:43:27.000 I think this is just these 7 Plus 1 jokes you would write.
00:43:30.000 Well, still, it's a hot take.
00:43:31.000 Okay.
00:43:32.000 Number 7.
00:43:34.000 New rule.
00:43:35.000 Okay.
00:43:35.000 Ancient Egyptian people.
00:43:37.000 The sun is not a god named Ra.
00:43:39.000 Okay.
00:43:40.000 It's an effing ball of gas.
00:43:42.000 And not the kind that you get from too much shwarma.
00:43:44.000 Okay.
00:43:48.000 It's a Middle Eastern dish.
00:43:50.000 I thought you knew.
00:43:51.000 Wait, I didn't know.
00:43:51.000 That is a spot-on joke he would use.
00:43:53.000 That is absolutely.
00:43:54.000 Okay, this is our 7 plus 1 Bill Maher hot takes.
00:43:57.000 You know what, Dave?
00:43:58.000 Give us number six.
00:43:58.000 Give us your best Bill Maher.
00:43:59.000 I'll try.
00:44:00.000 Kids, here's a gentle reminder, okay?
00:44:04.000 The Easter Bunny, not a giant bunny hiding eggs in your backyard.
00:44:09.000 It's your effing parents.
00:44:10.000 They never should have had you in the first place.
00:44:13.000 Grow up.
00:44:14.000 You're five.
00:44:15.000 Okay?
00:44:19.000 Okay.
00:44:19.000 A good portion of these, I feel like they could have been taken from his, really, taken from his show.
00:44:23.000 Yeah, we were trying to write these in.
00:44:24.000 What are you writing?
00:44:26.000 7 plus 1 Bill Maher hot takes, or Bill Maher jokes, however you want to, same thing.
00:44:30.000 No, I said it wrong, I'm sorry.
00:44:31.000 Gerald, do number 5.
00:44:33.000 Alright, somebody tell Thomas Jefferson to keep his quill pen and his knickers and out of the help, okay?
00:44:39.000 Oh boy.
00:44:41.000 I like brown sugar just as much as the next guy, but I wear something a little more effective than sheep intestine, okay?
00:44:47.000 I don't know why you started doing it like that lady in Health.
00:44:49.000 This is a terrible Bill Maher joke.
00:44:51.000 You sound like a flamboyant southern man.
00:44:56.000 You sound like the soul Octavia Spencer ate.
00:44:59.000 Like Zach Galifianakis doing the effeminate racist.
00:45:04.000 He's wearing his fanny pack.
00:45:06.000 I just don't care for him.
00:45:07.000 7 plus 1, Hot Bill Maher takes number 4.
00:45:10.000 Listen, Donald Trump is crazy, okay?
00:45:13.000 So crazy his tailor... His tailor...
00:45:22.000 I can't, okay.
00:45:23.000 His tailor had his jacket fitted for a 44 crazy.
00:45:32.000 That's where the applause sign goes off.
00:45:34.000 It's a lot harder when you don't have a crowd.
00:45:38.000 The segment is tough to do.
00:45:40.000 It's tough to do because we're writing accurate, unfunny jokes, and this is how the reaction probably would be.
00:45:49.000 I'll do number three.
00:45:49.000 Okay, listen.
00:45:51.000 Melania, as you know from Russia, mail-order bride.
00:45:54.000 Okay?
00:45:55.000 It's no secret.
00:45:59.000 She's the only wife who comes with the question, do you want fries with that?
00:46:03.000 Okay?
00:46:08.000 What?
00:46:09.000 No one eats fast food?
00:46:10.000 All vegans.
00:46:15.000 Seven plus one hot takes from Bill Maher.
00:46:18.000 And by the way, this is more effort than he puts into his podcast.
00:46:20.000 Number two, Dave.
00:46:22.000 New rule, America.
00:46:24.000 Learn to read.
00:46:26.000 Alright, rural America.
00:46:28.000 A bunch of MAGA folks accidentally went to a Lady Gaga concert Saturday because they thought that Gaga stood for Gittin' America.
00:46:38.000 Getting America good again.
00:46:45.000 Right?
00:46:45.000 Come on.
00:46:46.000 Am I okay?
00:46:47.000 Right?
00:46:51.000 The applause sign is late.
00:46:52.000 There's a circuit issue.
00:46:53.000 Be sure to put that on.
00:46:55.000 I'm not nice to the hell.
00:46:57.000 Someone fire my animator, okay?
00:46:59.000 Let's replace him with one of my black prostitutes.
00:47:01.000 It's not hard.
00:47:02.000 I don't need an opener.
00:47:03.000 Yes, you do.
00:47:06.000 Really, really do.
00:47:08.000 No, you do.
00:47:09.000 You really do.
00:47:11.000 I need warm-up.
00:47:12.000 Seven plus one, number one, Bill Maher hot takes.
00:47:15.000 Look, Joe Biden now is so old, people have started a new meme in his honor, okay?
00:47:22.000 They've started a new meme in his honor.
00:47:24.000 It's the Kick the Ice Bucket Challenge, okay?
00:47:31.000 Wait, I have to plank.
00:47:34.000 Take the buck, it means die, okay.
00:47:36.000 It means look, okay, he's old, he'll die, okay, whatever.
00:47:41.000 HBO, I blame HBO.
00:47:42.000 Alright, and the final 7 plus 1, Bill Maher hot takes the plus 1.
00:47:46.000 Dave, why don't you take the plus 1?
00:47:48.000 They're saying Trump might not be able to run in 2024 after the Mar-a-Lago seizure, okay, not a raid.
00:47:56.000 The only thing Trump looks like he's been running for is a drive-through, right?
00:48:02.000 What's your necktie size?
00:48:04.000 Lasso?
00:48:05.000 Okay.
00:48:06.000 Okay.
00:48:09.000 That's what Joe's thinking.
00:48:12.000 I pay for sex.
00:48:14.000 Dynomite!
00:48:16.000 This has been this week's 7 Plus 1.
00:48:18.000 You forgot Stefan in the chamber!
00:48:24.000 Ah.
00:48:25.000 This is the most uncomfortable I've ever been on my own show.
00:48:28.000 I am so glad you didn't come back to me for any more.
00:48:30.000 I know.
00:48:31.000 By the way, you can share the show if you're watching this, of course, on YouTube right now.
00:48:34.000 Hit the share button.
00:48:35.000 Sharing is caring.
00:48:36.000 You can like it.
00:48:37.000 All of those things help with the algorithm.
00:48:39.000 You know, the main issue here is you don't have to acknowledge that someone is funny, but you can acknowledge that it's a joke.
00:48:44.000 And I can kind of acknowledge that with Bill Maher, that a lot of what he says is meant to be funny, but he's just so thin-skinned, and he's so remarkably inconsistent, and this is a guy who... Look, let me just tell you one thing.
00:48:54.000 We've talked about this.
00:48:55.000 There have been, of course, multiple offers for me to do something similar.
00:48:59.000 If we wanted to leave this and go to network television, that's why I recommend... I ask, or don't, that you sign up, lightoffcreditor.com.
00:49:05.000 We do less than 1% of advertising throughout this show, compared to about 10 or 15% with other shows.
00:49:11.000 Crazy.
00:49:11.000 We don't have to play ball with a place like HBO.
00:49:13.000 We don't have to play ball with a place like Fox News.
00:49:15.000 And you never fully know if you're getting the fair shake.
00:49:19.000 If you're getting the real scoop from these people.
00:49:21.000 Because there are too many other intermediaries.
00:49:23.000 I don't know.
00:49:24.000 Maybe Bill Maher would like to have one of you guys or myself on the show.
00:49:26.000 Maybe he would come on this show.
00:49:28.000 But I guarantee you his bookers won't allow him to.
00:49:30.000 It's like Mickey protecting Rocky from Mr. T. They don't want to let that happen.
00:49:33.000 Invite us on the show.
00:49:35.000 Look, okay?
00:49:37.000 You have to go through the process.
00:49:39.000 You're not as funny as... Bill?
00:49:41.000 You're no Tommy Lahren, okay?
00:49:43.000 You're no... Alright, you're no S.C.
00:49:45.000 Cupp, okay?
00:49:48.000 You're no random author.
00:49:50.000 You're no Fred Durst, alright?
00:49:52.000 No, he's great.
00:49:54.000 This is what he does.
00:49:54.000 He has people on.
00:49:55.000 He's had Jordan Peterson on, of course.
00:49:58.000 I'm not saying he only has people on who are patsy.
00:50:00.000 But that's not worried about a comedy contest.
00:50:02.000 No, exactly.
00:50:03.000 Honestly, that's the only time that I have seen clips of Bill Maher.
00:50:06.000 Ever.
00:50:07.000 Never has been the front of the show where he does the stand-up stuff.
00:50:09.000 It's always been clips of him talking with people and it's usually I don't know.
00:50:14.000 It's not my style.
00:50:15.000 It feels like... What was the other guy we just mentioned that was actually a good liberal commentator?
00:50:20.000 I just forgot his name.
00:50:21.000 Jon Stewart.
00:50:21.000 Jon Stewart.
00:50:22.000 So it feels like a dumbed-down version of Jon Stewart, where it's not as funny, it's not as quippy, and it's not nearly as insightful.
00:50:29.000 Well, there's an authenticity to Jon Stewart.
00:50:31.000 A big-time authenticity.
00:50:32.000 I don't agree with Jon Stewart and everything else.
00:50:33.000 I think that's why people like him, though.
00:50:34.000 Yeah, I don't agree with a lot of what he says, but I get that he actually fully believes it and is better at presenting it.
00:50:41.000 No, of course.
00:50:41.000 And I'm not, like, taking a dump on Bill Maher.
00:50:43.000 I'm just like... He's... No character like his ever appeals to me.
00:50:48.000 He's like a curmudgeon, right?
00:50:49.000 He's always somewhat unhappy, mopey, and he just throws something out there and it's supposed to be funny.
00:50:54.000 You're not a curmudgeon.
00:50:58.000 Is that me?
00:50:59.000 You do realize where you're sitting, right?
00:51:04.000 I'm just one step short of pissing in jars in my compound.
00:51:07.000 You're going after somebody.
00:51:09.000 A rant is different than, alright guys, this is stupid.
00:51:11.000 You're not doing that.
00:51:12.000 No, I think it's important to look.
00:51:13.000 There are people like Louis Black funny, John Stewart funny, Kathleen Madigan funny.
00:51:17.000 You have a Lenny Bruce shirt on right now.
00:51:19.000 Lenny Bruce, early stuff funny, late stuff absolutely terrible.
00:51:21.000 I don't care what anybody says.
00:51:23.000 Great.
00:51:24.000 But that's because, like, even in the picture, they decided to destroy him.
00:51:29.000 He became a morphine addict, and it was somebody who stood up for free speech, and that's a sad thing.
00:51:33.000 David Letterman was the funniest, to me, late-night host who's ever existed.
00:51:36.000 I know he's left.
00:51:37.000 Conan O'Brien, obviously very funny.
00:51:38.000 He's leaned left.
00:51:39.000 So I don't have a problem with that, to be clear, and I think that you shouldn't have a problem with it.
00:51:42.000 Look, I feel confident enough.
00:51:44.000 I recommend that you go and watch Bill Maher's podcast.
00:51:47.000 Go watch the clips that we'll show.
00:51:48.000 We'll probably continue it on MugClip here a little bit, but go watch his podcast on YouTube.
00:51:52.000 Go watch it.
00:51:52.000 See what you think.
00:51:53.000 How about no?
00:51:58.000 By the way, we're gonna make him Yakuza for a full 48 hours.
00:52:01.000 We're going to have an electrode attached to him where if he speaks for 48 hours he'll be shocked.
00:52:06.000 He can only talk through that soundboard like Stephen Hawking.
00:52:09.000 And I bet you he'll be very effective at communicating.
00:52:11.000 He's so quick with it, it's unreal.
00:52:14.000 But here's the thing, there's a difference between acknowledging that someone is funny or talented and bringing them and welcoming them in amongst your ranks.
00:52:20.000 I think you need to be prudent about that because we've seen too many times people do that and then just like a bull in a china shop, and not in a good way, just cause a bunch of damage.
00:52:28.000 There's a difference between people you respect and you can hold at a respectful distance versus people who you allow to put on your team jersey.
00:52:35.000 And I just want to be clear about this.
00:52:37.000 Look, all references are available at ladderwithcreditor.com.
00:52:39.000 You can watch the montages, you can watch the original clips that we've posted here today.
00:52:44.000 Just look at the timeline and my main question is always this, whether it's Bill Maher...
00:52:48.000 Whether it's anyone from one of these, you know, YouTube shows that became more conservative, anyone who says, oh, I've changed.
00:52:54.000 You know, you can look at a guy like Strzok, and he explains why.
00:52:58.000 You can look at a guy like Rubin, okay, and he explains why.
00:53:00.000 You can look at someone like a Kerry Lake, who was always a Republican but was a Democrat for about four years, and explained why.
00:53:06.000 But there needs to be a flash of genius moment.
00:53:08.000 Let me ask you this.
00:53:08.000 Any time that you have fundamentally changed your worldview, or there's been a life-altering decision that you have made, think about it.
00:53:15.000 Could be when you decided you were going to talk to your parents again.
00:53:18.000 It could be when you decided you were going to be a conservative as opposed to a liberal.
00:53:21.000 It could be when you decided that, you know what, you're going to go back to school.
00:53:23.000 A fundamental course altering of your life.
00:53:27.000 Guarantee you, you can remember the moment and where you were when you made that decision and what changed.
00:53:32.000 It's actually a legal term.
00:53:33.000 There's a great documentary on it called Flash of Genius, the guy who invented the intermittent wiper.
00:53:36.000 Greg Kinnear plays it.
00:53:38.000 Yeah.
00:53:38.000 What is Bill Maher's Flash of Genius?
00:53:40.000 That is my question.
00:53:41.000 So before we bring someone into the fold, I think we always need to ask, okay, not in a general, the left left me.
00:53:48.000 No.
00:53:49.000 What was the moment where you said, oh my gosh, I'm going to be consumed by the monster that I created?
00:53:53.000 And by the way, Bill Maher did create this monster.
00:53:55.000 This is a guy who was on a campaign to portray all Conservative voters, all Republicans, all Tea Partiers, all people who oppose Barack Obama as racists, as fundamentalists, as extremists.
00:54:08.000 And this is a guy who pushed and was complicit with the Russia collusion hoax from the beginning and now tries to distance himself from it.
00:54:15.000 And I can also tell you behind the scenes that his bookers were pushing the guests to discuss that hard.
00:54:18.000 That's why I was unceremoniously not invited on the show.
00:54:22.000 Could also be that, you know, I just sucked in the interview process.
00:54:25.000 I have no idea.
00:54:26.000 But I do know they were asking for my opinion on that and they didn't like when I said, you know what?
00:54:30.000 Come on.
00:54:31.000 Let's talk about news that is actual news.
00:54:33.000 This is just speculation here.
00:54:34.000 You need to ask if all these people, don't be led by the nose, what is your flash of genius moment?
00:54:40.000 Okay?
00:54:40.000 You say that you've changed now.
00:54:42.000 What changed, when did it change, and where were you when it changed?
00:54:46.000 And I'd love to see a comment below.
00:54:47.000 If you were a former liberal, you can comment below when your flash of genius was, or any really fundamental life-altering decision I'd love to read about.
00:54:54.000 But I know a lot of you used to be liberals before you were on the show.
00:54:56.000 We have a lot of Bernie supporters who kind of came over after a while.
00:54:59.000 So I'm curious to see that, and I would just love, that's the one thing I would like to see from Bill Maher before we decide to call off the dogs.
00:55:06.000 And by call off the dogs, I mean just show the clips to you so that you can judge them For yourself as to whether they're funny or not.
00:55:13.000 That's always tough, right?
00:55:14.000 When you just go, hey, you know what?
00:55:15.000 We don't need to edit anything.
00:55:16.000 Just show the joke.
00:55:18.000 That's worse than anything we could say.
00:55:21.000 So I'm curious to see what you have to say about that.
00:55:22.000 We're going to play Pokemon Erasure so there's no way we could do it on YouTube.
00:55:25.000 And we also have some more clips from Bill Maher chastising Piers Morgan that I want to get to.
00:55:29.000 YouTube, we love you.
00:55:30.000 Thank you.
00:55:31.000 And we get it.
00:55:32.000 Freest and fairest election ever in history, of course.
00:55:35.000 The last election, right?
00:55:36.000 2020.
00:55:36.000 Sure.
00:55:38.000 Monkeypox is a pandemic.
00:55:39.000 That means I don't really believe any of that.