Louder with Crowder - Clinton Body Count GOES UP? What Happened to Christopher Sign?

00:00:00.000 🎵 Outro Music 🎵 🎵 Outro Music 🎵

00:00:33.000 Louder with Crowder is brought to you in part by Crowder.com

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00:00:48.000 SoccerStop.com You need my winter baby oh so bad.

00:01:20.000 And I'm the only one to make it happen.

00:01:24.000 And if I tell you what I'm gonna do, don't you know it's really frankly true?

00:01:33.000 They call me... Dr. Trump!

00:01:35.000 They call me Dr. Trump!

00:01:37.000 They call me Dr. Trump!

00:01:39.000 I've got the wits you're dreaming of!

00:01:41.000 I'm into what you do And even though I'm full of sin

00:01:55.000 In the end, you know I'll win They'll piss and moan, yeah, you know it's true.

00:02:03.000 But we all know it's cause they're just fake dudes.

00:02:07.000 So Wobble, please, get on your knees.

00:02:11.000 Grab some pillows, Benji, if you please.

00:02:15.000 Benji, get ready if you're feeling jazzed.

00:02:18.000 And get ready to kiss my ass They call me Dr. Trump

00:02:29.000 I got the witcher treatment on They call me Dr. Trump

00:02:42.000 I got the witcher treatment on They call me Dr. Trump

00:02:57.000 I've got the wings you're dreaming of.

00:03:01.000 They call me, they call me Dr. Trump.

00:03:07.000 Call me Dr. Trump!

00:03:09.000 You call me Dr. Trump!

00:03:11.000 I've got the witch you're dreaming of!

00:03:13.000 You call me Dr. Trump!

00:03:15.000 Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump!

00:03:19.000 They call me Dr. Trump!

00:03:22.000 They call me Dr. Trump They call me Dr. Trump

00:03:26.000 I got the way to treat my- I'm in love with you

00:03:30.000 I'm in love with you You're a strange animal

00:03:56.000 That's what I know You're a strange animal

00:04:02.000 I got the ball I'm gonna beat it

00:04:08.000 I'm gonna beat it I'm gonna beat it

00:04:16.000 Where's my gun?

00:04:16.000 Oh, I mean, ahoy everybody!

00:04:20.000 Ahoy!

00:04:21.000 I didn't know we were recording.

00:04:23.000 All right, it's good to be here.

00:04:24.000 Welcome to Louder with Crowder with Landau.

00:04:27.000 Yeah.

00:04:28.000 I'm excited about today's show.

00:04:29.000 We got a lot of great people in studio right now.

00:04:31.000 We got Gerald A. How are you?

00:04:33.000 I'm well, sir.

00:04:34.000 How are you?

00:04:34.000 I'm great.

00:04:35.000 Angel A. right there.

00:04:37.000 Angel A. That's what I go with.

00:04:39.000 She brings me coffee.

00:04:40.000 She brings me as many cups of stuff.

00:04:43.000 Wow, you have three.

00:04:44.000 That's a lot.

00:04:44.000 I do it at restaurants.

00:04:45.000 Are you okay?

00:04:47.000 No, I'll be like, look, I want a water, I want a coffee, and I want chocolate milk.

00:04:51.000 All of it.

00:04:51.000 Same time.

00:04:53.000 And you deserve it.

00:04:54.000 I feel I've earned it.

00:04:55.000 Tiny Tim Tebow, how you doing?

00:04:58.000 Quarter black.

00:04:59.000 What's up?

00:05:00.000 What's going on?

00:05:00.000 What's up?

00:05:00.000 What's shaking?

00:05:01.000 I'm ready.

00:05:02.000 Anything new?

00:05:02.000 No.

00:05:02.000 Nothing.

00:05:03.000 Just ready for the show!

00:05:04.000 And of course, Crawdaddy.

00:05:06.000 Darren, how are you, sir?

00:05:07.000 Always here when you're here, David.

00:05:08.000 I invite you every time because I enjoy having you in the studio.

00:05:11.000 Well, thank you, sir.

00:05:12.000 We have a very exciting show today.

00:05:13.000 We're going to discuss a couple of YouTube guidelines.

00:05:16.000 We have AOC being really smart.

00:05:19.000 And let's start off right now.

00:05:21.000 I don't know if anybody's heard about this, but an ABC News reporter got Clinton.

00:05:27.000 Oh no!

00:05:29.000 Surprise.

00:05:29.000 That actually is sad.

00:05:30.000 I know, it is sad.

00:05:32.000 They're connected to people, they have a lot of people in their lives with depression.

00:05:38.000 Die under mysterious circumstances.

00:05:40.000 Right.

00:05:41.000 But they're sad.

00:05:43.000 It's gotta be that.

00:05:45.000 Yesterday Christopher Sine, that's his name, right?

00:05:48.000 Yes.

00:05:51.000 That's a sign.

00:05:56.000 The ABC News reporter who broke the story of the 2016 tarmac meeting between Bill Clinton and then-Attorney General Loretta Lynch was found dead of an apparent suicide.

00:06:10.000 It's a shame.

00:06:11.000 He was just 45 years old, as I had mentioned.

00:06:13.000 That's a long time to wait.

00:06:16.000 It really is.

00:06:18.000 It happened a while ago.

00:06:19.000 Sneaky.

00:06:20.000 But I think they held onto it for a minute.

00:06:22.000 It's like a grudge thing.

00:06:23.000 Yeah, they're like, I can't let this go on much longer.

00:06:26.000 The depression.

00:06:28.000 Yes.

00:06:29.000 That's what I'm referring to.

00:06:30.000 You're never going to know the day.

00:06:31.000 Of course.

00:06:32.000 The day it's going to happen.

00:06:34.000 It's the 2016 meeting raised suspicion, of course, that Bill was lobbying Lynch on Hillary's behalf.

00:06:42.000 That's a little weird.

00:06:42.000 Yeah, it's a little weird.

00:06:44.000 I'm sure it's not connected.

00:06:45.000 No.

00:06:46.000 And both in 2020... I'm sure there's absolutely no... It was a 30-minute conversation on the tarmac on personal matters.

00:06:53.000 Yeah, that's all it was.

00:06:54.000 Bill Clinton was asked about this and that's what he said.

00:06:56.000 It's like when the mafia has a conversation and they put on loud music.

00:07:02.000 Hey Tony, turn it up!

00:07:03.000 Yeah, it's just because they love Sinatra.

00:07:05.000 It's not because they're hiding anything.

00:07:07.000 They love running to the payphone in the rain.

00:07:09.000 They just enjoy the booth.

00:07:11.000 Fly me to the moon, whack him!

00:07:18.000 Back in 2020, just before the release of his book, Secrets on the Tarmac, Science said on Fox News he and his family had gotten death threats.

00:07:29.000 Do you think?

00:07:30.000 You've paid the price for this, career-wise.

00:07:33.000 What kind of, you know, what kind of threats or what have you received?

00:07:36.000 Well, my family received significant death threats shortly after breaking this story.

00:07:41.000 Credit cards hacked.

00:07:43.000 You know, my children, we have code words.

00:07:45.000 We have secret code words that they know what to do.

00:07:48.000 And that's why I came back to WBMA, ABC 3340 in Birmingham, because when I was enduring the death threats, it was my former Alabama football family and my teammates, my coaches who circled around me.

00:08:00.000 Read all about it.

00:08:01.000 You can get the book right now, Secret on the Tarmac.

00:08:05.000 I don't think there's anything strange that there are more early deaths surrounding the Clintons than Vince McMahon.

00:08:14.000 You can look into that, I think that's okay to say.

00:08:16.000 Actually speaking, it can't happen.

00:08:17.000 This many young people in their atmosphere, it just can't happen.

00:08:20.000 The sheer odds.

00:08:21.000 It's just so strange because they know a lot of people, they're in large groups, and it's like, I know, but the suicide wants the direct contact.

00:08:29.000 Especially people that piss them off.

00:08:31.000 It's like taking the JFK, Kennedy family curse and applying it to Clinton enemies.

00:08:36.000 Just weird things tend to happen.

00:08:39.000 How many people can have bad breaks at the same time?

00:08:43.000 You'd be surprised.

00:08:44.000 That's a maintenance issue.

00:08:47.000 The Kennedys certainly did have bad breaks.

00:08:49.000 Well, they had good breaks until they were like, let's take out the mob that got us elected, and they were like, alright.

00:08:56.000 Well, you asked for it.

00:08:57.000 See you in Dallas.

00:08:58.000 Oh jeez.

00:08:59.000 And well, we actually do, though, and that's why I want to make sure that this gets out there, we do have exclusive footage, so please, you know, be aware that it's a little rough, but we do have exclusive footage.

00:09:12.000 Take the kids out of the room.

00:09:13.000 Take the kids out of the room, because this is actually exclusive footage of the apparent suicide.

00:09:18.000 BANG Yeah.

00:09:24.000 It's rough.

00:09:25.000 He's depressed.

00:09:26.000 I mean, he's sad.

00:09:27.000 Spoilers.

00:09:28.000 Yeah, I don't know if the book did as well as he thought it would.

00:09:32.000 I don't know what led to it.

00:09:34.000 Gosh.

00:09:35.000 How many weird coincidences can surround a family and you're like, no, totally normal.

00:09:40.000 It's absolutely normal.

00:09:41.000 I think it makes sense to run into the woods and get shot in the back like that.

00:09:46.000 I think it makes sense to hang yourself while shooting yourself in the back.

00:09:49.000 Oh yeah, it's just so sad he put eight bullets in him from long range in the woods.

00:09:57.000 How did he shoot himself in the back with a long rifle?

00:09:59.000 I'm not sure how you get the reach back.

00:10:03.000 Stretch Armstrong hands that guy.

00:10:05.000 He just used some string and he tied it to a tree.

00:10:07.000 That seems like a lot of effort to kill yourself.

00:10:11.000 Why would you want to do it that way?

00:10:13.000 But we do go out, you know, thoughts and prayers, thoughts and prayers.

00:10:17.000 So sad for them.

00:10:18.000 Yeah.

00:10:19.000 It really is.

00:10:19.000 No matter the circumstances, whatever actually happened.

00:10:22.000 Yes, absolutely.

00:10:23.000 And I do want to just jump in here, too, to remind people this is a live show.

00:10:29.000 Every Monday through Thursday at 10 a.m.

00:10:32.000 Eastern, go on to our Instagram, our TikTok, MugClub slash live chat and comment, comment, comment.

00:10:40.000 Leave that, it lets us get seen.

00:10:43.000 Go ahead, smash that like button, whatever it is you want to do.

00:10:48.000 Leave nice things.

00:10:50.000 It's like Ike and Tina.

00:10:52.000 Yeah, it's like I can Tina I wait for that last too soon 30 years yeah dead for it's like Clinton and everyone that

00:11:04.000 says anything bad about them. Yeah, it's so weird I'm just making sure there's nothing behind me as well.

00:11:09.000 Doesn't include us.

00:11:10.000 Exactly.

00:11:11.000 They really are the Ikes to the Tina Turners of politics.

00:11:14.000 Yes.

00:11:14.000 Can I just say that I will never commit suicide in a weird and unthinkable way?

00:11:19.000 You don't know.

00:11:20.000 On air, to make sure that if anything happens to me.

00:11:23.000 I just wonder what the kid from Sequest did to him.

00:11:28.000 Okay.

00:11:28.000 Anyway.

00:11:29.000 So!

00:11:29.000 I don't know if you guys know about, let's talk about this.

00:11:33.000 This week in Biden.

00:11:34.000 Oh boy.

00:11:35.000 Ahead of the last weekend's G7 summit, Time Magazine was excited to see Biden take on Putin.

00:11:42.000 Look at that cover.

00:11:44.000 Looks so not confused at all.

00:11:46.000 Look at that picture though.

00:11:47.000 Doesn't it look like he's about to make love to Putin?

00:11:52.000 The reflections in his glasses.

00:11:54.000 He's got the face where he looks mid-stroke.

00:11:57.000 Like they're trying to make him look Clint Eastwood and he just looks like, there's the lightning in my brain again.

00:12:05.000 I mean, come on, if you're trying to make him look tough, what do you do?

00:12:07.000 You're like, I don't know, put on some aviators and airbrush the hell out of that?

00:12:12.000 Why does he have to be tough?

00:12:14.000 Because they say he is!

00:12:16.000 And he can stand up to Putin!

00:12:18.000 Yeah, Corn Pop, Putin, he just makes up characters that he's beaten up.

00:12:23.000 He's like, I remember when I took Bluto and I wanted to rape olive oil and hey, whatever.

00:12:30.000 I heard he wanted to have dinner at 4 p.m.

00:12:31.000 though.

00:12:32.000 That was in the rider to meet with Putin.

00:12:35.000 First cafeteria, 4 p.m.

00:12:37.000 He's like, you want to meet me where?

00:12:38.000 He's like, it's an early bird.

00:12:39.000 Make sure there's prunes.

00:12:40.000 I love it.

00:12:41.000 I need to stay regular.

00:12:43.000 And he always wants to take somebody behind the barn and show them, you know.

00:12:46.000 He takes Putin anywhere.

00:12:47.000 Putin's a black belt in judo.

00:12:50.000 He would hurl him.

00:12:52.000 And he's sick the landing.

00:12:53.000 Putin always probably has an umbrella on him, too, with a needle filled with poison.

00:13:00.000 Once a KGB agent, always a KGB agent.

00:13:03.000 Yeah, that doesn't go away.

00:13:04.000 It looks cloudy out, doesn't it?

00:13:06.000 He killed 20 people.

00:13:10.000 He was an interior decorator.

00:13:12.000 Sorry, Sopranos, if you got the right ones.

00:13:17.000 It looks, oh anyway, but this cover art actually went through some changes.

00:13:22.000 Yeah.

00:13:23.000 As the artist was making.

00:13:24.000 Okay.

00:13:25.000 We at Loud Earth Crowder have obtained the first draft of the original piece.

00:13:31.000 Oh, I see.

00:13:33.000 Cuties, yeah.

00:13:34.000 A little more accurate.

00:13:35.000 Are they Russian?

00:13:36.000 No.

00:13:38.000 Certainly not Russian to grow up.

00:13:39.000 I hate it.

00:13:43.000 I can't believe that was a movie.

00:13:45.000 That they're like, yeah, it's children dancing provocatively.

00:13:49.000 It's art.

00:13:50.000 We're going to have to interview thousands of kids and make them dance for the producers.

00:13:55.000 That's just, getting there is half the fun, the producers say.

00:13:58.000 Well, that's France for you.

00:14:00.000 I love being in the movie industry.

00:14:02.000 Is that every producer in that one?

00:14:04.000 Oh, I think every producer.

00:14:05.000 I need to make sure that wasn't me.

00:14:06.000 Yeah, it wasn't you.

00:14:07.000 Like, I'm nuts.

00:14:08.000 Come on.

00:14:08.000 It's a step away.

00:14:09.000 It's not me.

00:14:09.000 It's character work.

00:14:10.000 Said the fat guy from Head of the Class.

00:14:13.000 Who then went to Nickelodeon.

00:14:15.000 Did you know about that guy?

00:14:17.000 Yeah, he's a pedo, Dan Schneider.

00:14:20.000 He likes their feet.

00:14:21.000 That's why Hannah Montana had a lot of foot shots.

00:14:25.000 Really?

00:14:25.000 Yeah, he's the Tarantino of kids.

00:14:31.000 These are facts.

00:14:32.000 Not a joke.

00:14:34.000 You should look it up.

00:14:35.000 I think any video with him shouldn't be up.

00:14:38.000 We could say allegedly.

00:14:39.000 We could say allegedly.

00:14:40.000 Allegedly.

00:14:42.000 Allegedly he absolutely did.

00:14:45.000 That's what they say.

00:14:51.000 At the G7 Summit this weekend, world leaders gathered to hash out global issues.

00:14:56.000 And they kicked it off with some hearty elbow bumps.

00:15:03.000 Stop it.

00:15:04.000 Oh my goodness.

00:15:05.000 Horse jumps off like a chia pet.

00:15:07.000 Stop!

00:15:07.000 Oh look at that.

00:15:09.000 Enough!

00:15:10.000 White people with no rhythm.

00:15:18.000 Whatsoever.

00:15:20.000 Yeah, Quarter Black, how unacceptable is their whiteness?

00:15:23.000 It amazes me.

00:15:25.000 Also, if you look at the panel of them all standing there, where's the black representation?

00:15:29.000 None.

00:15:30.000 There's none.

00:15:31.000 If there was one, he'd be like, I'm not doing that elbow thing, that's stupid.

00:15:34.000 They should just cut to, yeah, just like Tiny Zeus Lister.

00:15:37.000 Give me your chain.

00:15:41.000 Listen, is a fist bump so hard?

00:15:43.000 Really?

00:15:43.000 Yeah.

00:15:43.000 Come on.

00:15:44.000 Why?

00:15:44.000 In this?

00:15:45.000 Yeah.

00:15:46.000 You're unmasked, but you're like... So lame.

00:15:50.000 Oh no, we didn't show the Canadian Prime Minister.

00:15:52.000 He was masked and elbow bumping.

00:15:54.000 Yes.

00:15:54.000 Was he really?

00:15:55.000 And also showed up in blackface again, which... Pretending he's representing an actual country.

00:16:01.000 If Trudeau is fist bumping in blackface, he's at least trying.

00:16:05.000 Yeah.

00:16:07.000 No, he didn't go that far.

00:16:08.000 His country just reached the population of Metro LA.

00:16:11.000 Yeah, there you go.

00:16:12.000 I bet if they were mic'd, you could hear them all just go, what's up, brother?

00:16:15.000 Hey, buddy!

00:16:16.000 I hate to say it, but with a little more soul, you've been hanging out with these guys.

00:16:19.000 Yeah, brother.

00:16:20.000 You wanna go down to the tennis club, homie?

00:16:23.000 I like polo.

00:16:27.000 You like lacrosse, brother?

00:16:31.000 We represent the world.

00:16:32.000 We need a world war, I'm sorry.

00:16:34.000 I'm just saying, I think us whites can admit when we're not good at stuff.

00:16:39.000 Severely uncool?

00:16:40.000 Yeah, severely uncool.

00:16:42.000 Which is fine, as long as you own it.

00:16:44.000 Yeah, you gotta accept it.

00:16:45.000 That's why I don't go up to people like, hey, I'm Dave, let's touch elbows.

00:16:53.000 You know what that's called?

00:16:54.000 This is called the weenus.

00:16:55.000 Is it called a weenus?

00:16:56.000 You can look this up.

00:16:57.000 Is it touching weenuses?

00:17:00.000 It looks like the weenus.

00:17:01.000 Listen, I don't want to touch anybody else's weenus, okay?

00:17:04.000 I'm just not an elbow bump guy.

00:17:06.000 Because my uncle never was like, you need to have a firm weenus shape.

00:17:11.000 That's gonna get you a job.

00:17:14.000 Demand respect!

00:17:15.000 Not any kind of job you want, Dave.

00:17:17.000 No.

00:17:18.000 It's a bad career.

00:17:20.000 Yeah, I heard him wrong.

00:17:25.000 But the real highlights this week was former Vice President Joe Biden's gaffes.

00:17:31.000 If you have a problem figuring out whether you're for me or Trump, then you ain't black.

00:17:38.000 to welcome those who have just joined us.

00:17:41.000 We have some pretty spectacular weather with them.

00:17:44.000 Prime Minister Modi, President Ramaphosa, President Moon, if you'd just be a minute.

00:17:51.000 And the President of South Africa.

00:17:53.000 And the President of South Africa, as I said earlier.

00:18:00.000 Oh, you did?

00:18:01.000 I did, I certainly did.

00:18:03.000 So...

00:18:04.000 LAUGHTER When you get an idea...

00:18:06.000 I'm sorry I'm gonna get in trouble with staff if I don't do this the right way.

00:18:09.000 Jennifer Jacob, Bloomberg.

00:18:14.000 I'm going to get in trouble with my staff.

00:18:19.000 Yeah, go ahead.

00:18:20.000 Pretend that I didn't answer you.

00:18:22.000 You've kept in place some Trump era steel and aluminum sanctions.

00:18:27.000 And I wanted to ask you, when you're having these conversations with European allies who are very concerned about these sanctions, how do you justify that?

00:18:36.000 And what are your plans?

00:18:37.000 120 days.

00:18:37.000 Give me a break.

00:18:40.000 Need time.

00:18:44.000 COVID is, I know you all know, but a lot of people may not know what COVID is.

00:18:48.000 If you have a problem, figure it out whether you're for me or Trump, and you ain't black.

00:18:52.000 What was 120 days ago, the last time you shit his pants?

00:18:56.000 I need more time.

00:18:57.000 I need fiber.

00:18:58.000 I gotta, I ate a lot of total.

00:19:03.000 Too much total.

00:19:06.000 He comes out like 30 seconds before he mentions, he welcomes the president of South Africa and he's like, hold on, Boris of South Africa.

00:19:13.000 Yeah, I got you covered, man.

00:19:15.000 And then he just puts his hand out like a senile old man.

00:19:17.000 Oh, oh, please don't say anything else.

00:19:19.000 What do I say?

00:19:20.000 Yes, as I just said.

00:19:21.000 As I said earlier.

00:19:22.000 I like how he thinks they're laughing with him.

00:19:25.000 I know.

00:19:25.000 No.

00:19:26.000 And they're not.

00:19:27.000 He is so desperate to be one of the cool kids.

00:19:29.000 He like just absolutely wants to be accepted amongst that group and will do anything and say anything to get it.

00:19:35.000 Oh, absolutely.

00:19:35.000 And they're probably just sitting there going, when do you want to take over America?

00:19:39.000 They're like, yeah, we love working with Joe Biden with him.

00:19:43.000 He just encourages an attack, it seems.

00:19:45.000 He's an idiot.

00:19:47.000 I mean, I don't even know if he's an idiot, but he certainly, he forgets everything.

00:19:51.000 Whatever you want to call that.

00:19:53.000 Speaking of creepy older guys, we have some of this Dan Schneider stuff.

00:19:57.000 Oh, do you?

00:19:58.000 Let's take a gander so people know.

00:20:00.000 So this is from Drake and Josh.

00:20:03.000 Oh, see?

00:20:04.000 That seems like a Nickelodeon show.

00:20:05.000 For the kids.

00:20:06.000 For the kids.

00:20:07.000 Oh my gosh.

00:20:09.000 Dickelodeon?

00:20:11.000 Oh wow.

00:20:11.000 What?

00:20:12.000 Did I pronounce that wrong?

00:20:14.000 We have a video of Ariana Grande.

00:20:14.000 Oh, this one's horrible.

00:20:16.000 Ariana.

00:20:16.000 Oh.

00:20:17.000 It's gross.

00:20:17.000 So, yeah, this is not my fault.

00:20:19.000 This is head of the class.

00:20:20.000 Sorry ahead of time.

00:20:22.000 Have you ever tried to get your whole big toe in your mouth?

00:20:24.000 Check this out!

00:20:27.000 Dan Schneider, everybody.

00:20:28.000 Dan Schneider.

00:20:31.000 Okay, so if anybody doubted me, him and his foot fetish...

00:20:36.000 It's gross.

00:20:36.000 We never doubt you, Dave.

00:20:37.000 I just want you to know I know a little bit about a little bit.

00:20:41.000 Was that Ariana Grande?

00:20:43.000 Is that what she said?

00:20:43.000 It was.

00:20:44.000 It was, yeah.

00:20:45.000 Oh, I didn't know that.

00:20:46.000 A lot of the girls were young starlets.

00:20:50.000 Ah.

00:20:50.000 You know, you got the Britney Spears or the Mickey Mouse Club.

00:20:53.000 Creepy at all.

00:20:54.000 Yeah.

00:20:54.000 No, what's interesting, they've all turned out so balanced.

00:20:57.000 Yeah.

00:20:57.000 It's not a wonder.

00:20:58.000 And you can say anything about them.

00:20:59.000 Yeah.

00:21:00.000 Level-headed.

00:21:00.000 It's why they don't understand how to be an adult.

00:21:02.000 They're like, so I'm a whore now?

00:21:05.000 Is that what you want, Daddy?

00:21:07.000 It's Miley Cyrus.

00:21:08.000 Do you like it, Billy Ray?

00:21:09.000 Do you like me when I ride it?

00:21:12.000 The Wrecking Ball.

00:21:14.000 The Wrecking Ball.

00:21:15.000 Of course.

00:21:16.000 Not a euphemism.

00:21:20.000 By the way, Token Owen also wants me to show this Dan Schneider tweet.

00:21:24.000 Oh, perfect.

00:21:25.000 What does it say?

00:21:25.000 Carly tickles Sam's very unusual toes.

00:21:28.000 If you have a moment, will you please name Sam's toes for us?

00:21:31.000 Oh my gosh, this guy.

00:21:33.000 Oh, how about, um, you deserve 30 years in prison.

00:21:36.000 Yeah!

00:21:40.000 You don't say stuff like that in public, bro.

00:21:43.000 Oh my gosh.

00:21:44.000 Oh, boy.

00:21:45.000 Jail.

00:21:46.000 Jail.

00:21:50.000 Creep.

00:21:51.000 Gross!

00:21:53.000 And you ruined Head of the Class for me, which was a show I enjoyed.

00:21:55.000 Oh, well, I'm sorry about that.

00:21:57.000 Did you not like Head of the Class?

00:21:58.000 I never watched it.

00:21:59.000 Oh yeah?

00:21:59.000 You're pretty cool.

00:22:00.000 I think it was, what is it, Boy Meets World with Topanga?

00:22:02.000 Oh, no.

00:22:03.000 Topanga, bro.

00:22:03.000 Did you watch?

00:22:04.000 Dude, Topanga was...

00:22:07.000 I'm about to tube in.

00:22:08.000 Look, I'm not gonna lie, if I was on Boy Meets World as a director, I was the same age as Topanga, but I would be, I would be creepier.

00:22:18.000 I'd be like, oh in this episode she does stuff with me, and there's no cameras.

00:22:26.000 I feel like, Dave, it's the same pitch every day.

00:22:29.000 One of these days you guys are going to accept it.

00:22:31.000 Yeah, live with it.

00:22:32.000 We need to do some rehearsal.

00:22:34.000 Speaking of sexiness, here's the question of the day.

00:22:38.000 Have you seen Jeffrey Toobin's penis?

00:22:42.000 Does his co-workers have?

00:22:44.000 Yes, where was it at?

00:22:46.000 What was he working with?

00:22:47.000 Comment down below if you've seen it.

00:22:49.000 And if so, again, where did you see it?

00:22:53.000 What did you think of it?

00:22:55.000 Circumcised?

00:22:55.000 We don't know!

00:22:57.000 Comment, comment, comment.

00:22:59.000 Inquiring minds would like to know.

00:23:01.000 See?

00:23:04.000 We just want to compare.

00:23:05.000 Because last week Jeffrey Toobin made his climactic return to CNN and gave an interview about being fired from the New Yorker.

00:23:15.000 Hit the notification bell, by the way.

00:23:17.000 Yes, because you want content like this.

00:23:19.000 You want it.

00:23:19.000 You want more of it.

00:23:20.000 You want to know when this man flashes everyone at work.

00:23:25.000 Yes.

00:23:27.000 Gerald and I are going to watch the clip with it, actually the clip now, and we're going to share our thoughts.

00:23:32.000 Not of his... Oh, thank you.

00:23:36.000 So his triumphal entry.

00:23:38.000 Not of the big or average day.

00:23:40.000 The return of the king.

00:23:41.000 Yes, it's him explaining, you know, his faux pas.

00:23:48.000 Hello, Allison.

00:23:48.000 Hi, Jeffrey.

00:23:49.000 It's been a while.

00:23:50.000 It has been a while, indeed.

00:23:52.000 I feel like we should address what's happened in the months since we've seen you, since some of our viewers may not know what has happened.

00:24:01.000 So I guess I'll recap.

00:24:03.000 I'll do the honors.

00:24:05.000 Help yourself.

00:24:08.000 In October, you were on a Zoom call with your colleagues from the New Yorker magazine.

00:24:14.000 Everyone took a break for several minutes, during which time you were caught masturbating on camera.

00:24:22.000 You were subsequently fired from that job after 27 years of working there.

00:24:27.000 And you, since then, have been on leave from CNN.

00:24:30.000 Do I have all that right?

00:24:31.000 You've got it all right.

00:24:32.000 Sad to say.

00:24:36.000 That's all you've got, really?

00:24:38.000 What the hell were you thinking?

00:24:40.000 Well, obviously, I wasn't thinking very well, or very much, and it was something that was inexplicable to me.

00:24:48.000 I think one point, I wouldn't exactly say, because nothing is really in my defense, I didn't think I was on the call.

00:24:56.000 I didn't think other people could see me.

00:24:58.000 You thought that you had turned off your camera?

00:25:00.000 Correct.

00:25:01.000 I just thought they could hear me masturbate.

00:25:03.000 Now, that's not a defense.

00:25:05.000 This was deeply moronic and indefensible.

00:25:08.000 But, I mean, that is part of the story.

00:25:15.000 And, you know, I have spent the seven subsequent months, miserable months, in my life.

00:25:21.000 Confess.

00:25:23.000 I'm trying to be a better person.

00:25:25.000 I mean, in therapy, trying to do some public service, working on a food bank, which I certainly am going to continue to do, working on a new book about the Oklahoma City bombing, but I am trying to become the kind of person that people can trust in.

00:25:41.000 I'm sure you've replayed that embarrassing moment over and over many times.

00:25:46.000 Have you ever thought about what it must have been like to be on the receiving end of that Zoom call?

00:25:50.000 Well, technically no one was on the receiving end, Allison.

00:25:52.000 I haven't just thought about it.

00:25:53.000 I've spoken to several of my former colleagues.

00:25:55.000 I think they might have liked it.

00:25:56.000 I mean, I didn't see a lot of frowns.

00:25:59.000 There were a couple ladies that did the little applause hands.

00:26:02.000 It was weird.

00:26:02.000 It was a good show.

00:26:03.000 I think they realized that this was not intended for them.

00:26:07.000 I think they realized that this was something that I would immediately regret, as I certainly did.

00:26:15.000 And I practiced a lot to make sure I'm not on camera.

00:26:17.000 And I began apologizing.

00:26:19.000 And that is something that I have tried to continue to do.

00:26:22.000 He's almost laughing at himself.

00:26:23.000 It's like, this is silly.

00:26:24.000 We've covered a lot of political scandals.

00:26:26.000 I do it three or four times a day.

00:26:28.000 We've heard- I think we've heard enough of this creep.

00:26:31.000 Can you die of embarrassment by proxy?

00:26:33.000 You would think so, right?

00:26:36.000 He should- I just can't- every second of his life for the last seven months has everyone saw me masturbate.

00:26:45.000 So what did you used to do?

00:26:46.000 I, uh, nothing.

00:26:47.000 I, uh, I remember I stood up and then I realized that, uh, even though I was on camera, I thought they couldn't see me.

00:26:56.000 And, uh, when I didn't get the, hey, let's all join response I was looking for, I realized it may have cost me my job.

00:27:04.000 Like, are you serious?

00:27:05.000 Like, what is like, Hey, who are you thinking about?

00:27:07.000 Well, I was thinking about Alison.

00:27:08.000 Okay.

00:27:08.000 We'll have her interview you to bring you back.

00:27:11.000 Right!

00:27:11.000 It's so awkward!

00:27:13.000 And she compares it to the Hugh Grant interview with Jay Leno, which was Hugh Grant making a mistake coming on as a performer, as an actor, and trying to be funny about it.

00:27:22.000 He owned it, he admitted it was his mistake, he tried to pick up a prostitute, it was funny, but it was a man talking to a man.

00:27:28.000 Now there's a woman that's like, oh hey Jack in the Box!

00:27:34.000 Oh my gosh, I love how he starts it out.

00:27:34.000 I'll do the honors.

00:27:36.000 She's like, well, I'll tell the story.

00:27:37.000 He's like, well, help yourself.

00:27:39.000 And I'm like, oh, that's the wrong choice of words.

00:27:41.000 Why didn't they bring him back at all?

00:27:43.000 They could have just not brought him back.

00:27:44.000 He should be like Bruce Banner in South Africa.

00:27:48.000 Like, no, don't ever see him again.

00:27:50.000 Is he that valuable as a legal analyst?

00:27:52.000 Exactly.

00:27:53.000 Are there no other legal analysts you can bring back?

00:27:56.000 Yeah, it's like, legally speaking, how do you feel about what you did?

00:28:00.000 What the?

00:28:01.000 Well, it's crazy to me because, like, Louis, pardon me, Louis C.K.

00:28:05.000 was taken off the planet over a year ago, two years ago, because he did that in front of two women that were willing, with permission, even Sarah Silverman, Janine Garofalo, they've come to his defense, and he's been completely taken off for something that happened in private and treated like a pariah when he's a genius.

00:28:23.000 And now you have this, this guy, This guy did it in front of everybody, supposedly on accident, which I don't understand.

00:28:33.000 Do you not know how to figure out your time balances throughout the day?

00:28:38.000 You're like, boy, I really got to get one in.

00:28:41.000 All right, break.

00:28:43.000 I know there's a good three minutes I have.

00:28:47.000 Well, his excuse was, I had another window pane up on my browser, right?

00:28:53.000 I obviously was.

00:28:54.000 I was like, really?

00:28:55.000 Like, you're like, oh, I got a meeting in about 15 minutes.

00:28:57.000 I'm going to start looking at some porn really quickly, and then I'm just going to put it on pause, because that's how porn works.

00:29:03.000 And then you go into the meeting.

00:29:04.000 Of course he was looking at somebody on the Zoom call, and that's what started this whole thing.

00:29:08.000 And he's like, no, I promise you, it wasn't me looking at one of my co-workers who I now am, you know, back amongst.

00:29:14.000 Yeah, he's the guy who buys a penthouse at the airport.

00:29:17.000 Because he's like, this is going to be a 45 minute flight, and if I don't relieve myself, there will be hell to pay.

00:29:29.000 But now, the public response to this interview has been overwhelmingly uplifting.

00:29:41.000 And we here at Louder With Crowder hope CNN rises to the occasion and gives Toobin his own show.

00:29:51.000 We've got a few in mind actually with this week's 7 plus 1 Jeffrey Toobin show titles.

00:29:56.000 You forgot Sivan in the chamber! There's always one in the chamber.

00:30:05.000 Especially with Toobin.

00:30:07.000 Especially with Toobin.

00:30:08.000 He's at the ready.

00:30:10.000 Man, he's constantly got one in the chamber.

00:30:13.000 Just that he needs to get rid of.

00:30:16.000 We have... So sorry.

00:30:17.000 No.

00:30:18.000 We're sorry.

00:30:19.000 I'm not even sorry.

00:30:20.000 This should be pointed out.

00:30:22.000 No, no, no.

00:30:22.000 I'm sorry for them bringing this up.

00:30:24.000 It's just such liberal privilege to be like, oh, you're fine.

00:30:27.000 It's been seven months.

00:30:28.000 Yeah, you just masturbated on me.

00:30:29.000 Me Too's a little bit over, I guess.

00:30:31.000 We don't really care about women anymore.

00:30:34.000 It's not over for his family.

00:30:36.000 No, no.

00:30:37.000 And I believe it's called Me Too-bin.

00:30:40.000 Let's start the show.

00:30:42.000 That should definitely be the hashtag.

00:30:45.000 7 plus 1.

00:30:45.000 Number 7.

00:30:46.000 Full frontal with Jeffrey Toobin's penis.

00:30:49.000 That makes sense.

00:30:51.000 Number 6.

00:30:53.000 Crawdaddy.

00:30:54.000 Hardballs.

00:30:55.000 Of course.

00:30:58.000 Number 5.

00:30:59.000 Inside politics with Jeffrey Toobin's penis.

00:31:05.000 Number 4.

00:31:05.000 QB.

00:31:08.000 The Sticky Situation Room.

00:31:10.000 Don't wait to say number four, that's Meat Man!

00:31:13.000 We'll do that, we'll go to Gerald for that one.

00:31:16.000 I'll do it.

00:31:17.000 Your World, number three.

00:31:18.000 You want me to do three?

00:31:19.000 You're gonna do two.

00:31:21.000 Hold on, who's on first?

00:31:22.000 You're gonna do two.

00:31:23.000 I'll do two.

00:31:23.000 I'll do three.

00:31:24.000 You go.

00:31:25.000 Your World, and Jeffrey Toobin's penis.

00:31:30.000 It just kind of... I'm not even gonna say anything.

00:31:33.000 I'm gonna beat it to death.

00:31:35.000 Two.

00:31:38.000 The Sticky Situation.

00:31:39.000 There you go.

00:31:40.000 Redemption.

00:31:41.000 And number one.

00:31:42.000 Terrible.

00:31:43.000 CNN Newsroom with Poppy Harlow and Jeffrey Toobin's penis.

00:31:48.000 We do have a plus one, don't we?

00:31:51.000 Okay, well let's see.

00:31:51.000 chamber. We do have a plus one don't we? Okay uh well let's see uh oh Anderson Cooper 360

00:31:59.000 with Jeffrey Davis.

00:32:02.000 That has been 7 plus 1, Jeffrey.

00:32:05.000 You forgot to turn in the chamber!

00:32:11.000 You could just add it on to every show title and it works.

00:32:15.000 Oh, always one in the chamber.

00:32:16.000 It works.

00:32:17.000 You could.

00:32:18.000 That's why I, uh, when, when we were putting those together, we thought, let's just add Jeffrey Toobin's penis.

00:32:25.000 By the way, he's being upstaged by his penis now.

00:32:27.000 People are talking more about his penis than they're talking about his kind of knowledge on legal subjects.

00:32:32.000 Yeah.

00:32:33.000 He's embarrassed, but he's also like, this isn't so bad.

00:32:39.000 He's infamous now.

00:32:40.000 A lady's interviewing him about it.

00:32:42.000 Like, so what were you thinking?

00:32:44.000 Oh, I'm garbage.

00:32:45.000 Roughly the same thing I'm thinking right now.

00:32:48.000 Can I get a minute?

00:32:49.000 Can we turn these cameras off?

00:32:51.000 Yeah, they actually had to shoot that five times.

00:32:54.000 They're like, Jeffrey, we just gotta get through the internet.

00:32:57.000 Come on!

00:32:58.000 I'm sorry!

00:32:59.000 Power through, Jeff.

00:33:00.000 But every time it cuts off on me, I gotta... I mean, come on.

00:33:03.000 We see it, but just the fact that you recoup so quickly and do it again... The energy you have!

00:33:09.000 Oh, he's garbage.

00:33:11.000 I mean, good luck, Jeffrey.

00:33:12.000 So terrible.

00:33:13.000 Who's gonna take this guy seriously from now on?

00:33:15.000 He's gonna offer some kind of, like, really insightful legal analysis and I'm just gonna be like...

00:33:20.000 Can you imagine him as your lawyer?

00:33:23.000 You're like, yeah, you get that guy from CNN, Jeffrey Toobin, then you Google him and you're like, I don't want this.

00:33:29.000 No, not this one.

00:33:31.000 Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, surely we've all touched ourselves on Zoom.

00:33:36.000 Who among us has not been on camera?

00:33:39.000 Why live in glass houses?

00:33:41.000 Has name become a verb?

00:33:45.000 He pulled the tube in.

00:33:47.000 It's gonna be there.

00:33:48.000 It's classic now.

00:33:51.000 So AOC, she's really smart, I think.

00:33:54.000 Brilliant lady.

00:33:55.000 Just a smart woman.

00:33:58.000 Not an idiot savant.

00:34:01.000 Less the savant.

00:34:02.000 Last week AOC blamed Trump for... What?

00:34:09.000 Yeah, her, uh, what is that?

00:34:11.000 Abuelas.

00:34:11.000 Abuelas, right?

00:34:13.000 It means grandmother.

00:34:14.000 Is it grandmother?

00:34:15.000 It means grandmother.

00:34:16.000 I do not speak French.

00:34:21.000 Not a lick of French.

00:34:22.000 Last week AOC blamed Trump for her grandma's impoverished living conditions in Puerto Rico, tweeting, Just over a week ago, my abuela fell ill.

00:34:35.000 I went to Puerto Rico to see her.

00:34:37.000 My first time in a year, plus because of COVID.

00:34:42.000 This is her home!

00:34:44.000 Sorry.

00:34:45.000 That is how she wrote it.

00:34:46.000 You are correct, yes.

00:34:47.000 This is her home!

00:34:49.000 Hurricane Maria relief hasn't arrived.

00:34:53.000 Trump blocked relief money for PR.

00:34:56.000 You are fake news.

00:34:58.000 Over the weekend, however, AOC's alleged aunt... Wait, alleged aunt?

00:35:04.000 Wait, that's a little... That sounds weird.

00:35:06.000 Who wrote that?

00:35:06.000 Was it Lily?

00:35:08.000 Lily!

00:35:09.000 Get in here.

00:35:10.000 Get in here!

00:35:11.000 Come on.

00:35:12.000 Geez.

00:35:13.000 Oh, being called in the carpet.

00:35:14.000 Face the music.

00:35:15.000 Yeah, sit down.

00:35:16.000 Lily, you wrote Alleged Ant.

00:35:19.000 I did, yes.

00:35:20.000 Yes.

00:35:21.000 You're alright with that?

00:35:22.000 I am.

00:35:23.000 Don't pull a tubing.

00:35:25.000 Now, why did you write Alleged Ant?

00:35:27.000 Alleged Ant.

00:35:28.000 Well, the Daily Mail article, apparently the reporters went to Puerto Rico and actually found her abuela's house, but there was this lady who identified herself as AOC's aunt, so it could be her aunt or it could just be a based Puerto Rican lady who gave a statement, which either way, what she said was true, so.

00:35:51.000 All right.

00:35:53.000 You're free to go, Lily.

00:35:53.000 Thank you for coming in.

00:35:55.000 You're gonna allow it, Dick?

00:35:56.000 I'm gonna allow it.

00:35:57.000 It makes sense.

00:35:58.000 Plus, if she was a goofy, crazy woman, she might as well be her aunt.

00:36:03.000 Did AOC help her out at all?

00:36:04.000 You know, it makes me think of Sam Kinison.

00:36:07.000 Couldn't the cameraman just throw her a sandwich?

00:36:10.000 She's got a Tesla.

00:36:11.000 She's got all these nice clothes.

00:36:13.000 Makes me think of Barack Obama and his brother.

00:36:16.000 Oh, yeah!

00:36:17.000 Oh, that's right, yeah.

00:36:18.000 We were discussing this earlier, like, it always seems that these Democratic, political, whatever you want to call them, have a brother, or a cousin, or family member.

00:36:27.000 Or an abuela.

00:36:28.000 Yeah, or an abuela.

00:36:29.000 Or a boo-buela.

00:36:31.000 Who hates them.

00:36:33.000 And completely sucks with the other party.

00:36:36.000 They're like, oh, do you know him?

00:36:38.000 Oh, he sucks.

00:36:39.000 He's terrible.

00:36:40.000 Oh, she's an idiot.

00:36:42.000 I want them!

00:36:45.000 She could not read until she was 17 and even then it was just the menu at McDonald's.

00:36:55.000 Who among us, Dave?

00:36:56.000 Who among us couldn't read?

00:37:02.000 So anyway, her alleged aunt told the Daily Mail that the living conditions in Puerto Rico aren't Trump's fault, saying, it's a problem here in Puerto Rico with the administration and distribution of help.

00:37:17.000 It is not a problem with Washington.

00:37:19.000 We had the assistance and it didn't get to the people.

00:37:23.000 Oh my gosh.

00:37:24.000 And this, believe it or not, isn't the first stupid thing AOC has done.

00:37:32.000 Here are five more examples of the dumb things AOC has said just this year.

00:37:38.000 Just this year?

00:37:40.000 We have to limit the time frame, okay?

00:37:42.000 We only have so much time.

00:37:43.000 This isn't a four day long marathon.

00:37:50.000 Let's see, she said, almost died during the January 6th ride.

00:37:55.000 You guys remember that?

00:37:56.000 I can tell you that I had a very close encounter where I thought I was going to die.

00:38:02.000 And you have all of those thoughts where, you know, at the end of your life, and all of these thoughts come rushing to you.

00:38:16.000 And that's what happened to a lot of us on Wednesday.

00:38:21.000 And I thought I did not think, I did not know if I was going to make it

00:38:30.000 to the end of that day alive.

00:38:32.000 Um, and.

00:38:33.000 And not just in a general sense, but also in a very, very specific sense.

00:38:38.000 She was in a different building, right?

00:38:40.000 Yeah, across the street.

00:38:41.000 Yeah, I was worried about that.

00:38:45.000 She talking about the BLM riots?

00:38:47.000 you know uh... it believe it or not protest no no uh... believe it or not it was the uh... the insurrection

00:38:55.000 what to senior tour group that went through the care Correct.

00:38:58.000 The guy with the horns that no one took seriously.

00:39:01.000 Like, oh, okay.

00:39:02.000 You look in the background, there's nothing but priceless works of art from centuries ago, untouched.

00:39:07.000 Oh yeah.

00:39:07.000 No tags.

00:39:08.000 Spray painter.

00:39:09.000 Nothing.

00:39:10.000 Nothing at all.

00:39:11.000 You remember too, when she said, and somebody broke into my office, where is she?

00:39:16.000 And it later turns out that it was a security guard trying to make sure she cleared the path.

00:39:20.000 Yeah.

00:39:22.000 Too busy hiding under my desk.

00:39:24.000 Come on.

00:39:24.000 You can stop playing the victim at any time.

00:39:26.000 It was a security guard that's like, the sounds are coming from that way, so you're going to want to go over there.

00:39:31.000 I know it sounds like chances get her, but it really is like get her to safety, so go check them out.

00:39:38.000 Yeah, those are those are safety shots you're hearing.

00:39:45.000 Well, then she said on a podcast called Latino USA, because Latinex they didn't hear about, that she was in therapy because of January 6th.

00:39:55.000 Took some time, and it was really Ayanna Pressley, when I explained to her what had happened to me, like the day of, because I ran to her office, and she was like, you need to recognize trauma.

00:40:10.000 And that this is something that you went through, but we're all going through.

00:40:14.000 And it's really important to pause after that.

00:40:19.000 So you're doing therapy?

00:40:21.000 Oh, yeah.

00:40:21.000 Yeah.

00:40:23.000 I'm doing therapy, but also I've just slowed down.

00:40:27.000 I think the Trump administration had a lot of us, especially Latino communities, in a very reactive mode.

00:40:35.000 Is that how she orders food at a restaurant?

00:40:38.000 I'll have the taquitos.

00:40:41.000 She does it on a Latino network where she's speaking English.

00:40:46.000 It is amazing, isn't it?

00:40:47.000 She's like, I'll be speaking English all except for the easy words.

00:40:52.000 Abuela.

00:40:54.000 My abuela.

00:40:55.000 I will have a gordito!

00:41:02.000 And large pesi.

00:41:03.000 Trump had us in a very reactive mode.

00:41:05.000 Yes, reactive in voting for him in record numbers.

00:41:07.000 You're right.

00:41:08.000 Y'all were so scared that you voted for the guy.

00:41:12.000 Yeah, you certainly were more busy when you were lying to people.

00:41:16.000 Yes.

00:41:17.000 Well, you still are.

00:41:19.000 Well, she also said that climate change was caused by racial injustice, which I do agree.

00:41:24.000 I have noticed that every time somebody drops an n-bomb, it rains.

00:41:30.000 That's terrible.

00:41:31.000 What a dumb comment.

00:41:35.000 On me.

00:41:38.000 I'm just saying, you shouldn't be racist.

00:41:41.000 I think that's very obvious.

00:41:43.000 I will say, though, it doesn't affect the weather.

00:41:47.000 Ah.

00:41:47.000 Unless you count... I don't think so.

00:41:50.000 I mean, I guess if you count the smoldering cross, but there's really, like, what, how does it even... Let's hear what this idiot, genius has to say.

00:42:01.000 In my opinion.

00:42:02.000 Are you for real?

00:42:03.000 Let's talk about this because so much of our national conversation which is not a conversation about immigration is driven by people who could not care less about immigrants.

00:42:18.000 More often, people want to say, why aren't you talking about the border crisis?

00:42:22.000 Or why aren't you talking about it in this way?

00:42:23.000 Those fans are aggressive.

00:42:24.000 Well, we're talking about it, they just don't like how we're talking about it.

00:42:27.000 Because it's not a border crisis, it's an imperialism crisis, it's a climate crisis, it's a trade crisis.

00:42:33.000 And also, it's a carceral crisis.

00:42:36.000 Because as I have already said, even during this term and this president, our immigration system is based and designed on our carceral system.

00:42:48.000 If I tell you to hold your phone sideways, and if you don't it's going to cause climate change, will you do it?

00:42:59.000 Is she putting those effects on there?

00:43:01.000 Guys, help me out.

00:43:02.000 Is that us or was that in post?

00:43:04.000 That's a TikTok or whatever it is.

00:43:06.000 Is she doing it on her own eyes?

00:43:08.000 On purpose?

00:43:09.000 Wow.

00:43:09.000 No, that was God.

00:43:10.000 God did that to her.

00:43:11.000 Yeah, he decided to give her a giant... I'm hearing the words, I just don't understand what she's saying.

00:43:17.000 Oh, good news, she doesn't either.

00:43:18.000 Yeah, they're just spewing it.

00:43:20.000 Carceral... what is... is this... am I the only one in the room that doesn't know what that is?

00:43:24.000 Prison incarceration, I think?

00:43:26.000 Carceral?

00:43:26.000 I'm guessing.

00:43:27.000 I'm straight up guessing.

00:43:28.000 I think she's... it's the babies in cages thing.

00:43:31.000 But it's she said the words carceral.

00:43:34.000 Correct.

00:43:34.000 And then said it again to make sure we... It was right.

00:43:38.000 So she either pulled a Biden and doesn't know what the hell she's talking about, which I'm leaning towards, or... Okay, carceral.

00:43:44.000 What does that mean?

00:43:44.000 Relating to or suggesting a jail or prison.

00:43:49.000 My guess was right.

00:43:51.000 Here's what happened.

00:43:52.000 She knew a word I didn't.

00:43:54.000 But she also put up air quotes and then explained why she used air quotes.

00:43:59.000 That's true.

00:44:00.000 You can't do that.

00:44:01.000 And she also googled that.

00:44:05.000 She didn't know the word.

00:44:06.000 She wasn't like, I just use it all the time.

00:44:08.000 It sounds like a made-up word.

00:44:10.000 It does.

00:44:11.000 Well, because she probably couldn't sound out incarceration.

00:44:14.000 She was like, I need something with less syllables.

00:44:18.000 Glad y'all walked me into that one.

00:44:19.000 Appreciate that.

00:44:20.000 That's no problem.

00:44:21.000 I would like to order a chalupa.

00:44:27.000 Oh my gosh.

00:44:28.000 The border crisis is caused by imperialism.

00:44:31.000 Yes.

00:44:31.000 By having a good country with people that are successful and are free.

00:44:34.000 Our empire is so nice.

00:44:36.000 If we could only just be as shitty as the rest of the world in this area, they would be never coming here.

00:44:43.000 We would be fine.

00:44:44.000 Right.

00:44:45.000 That's her argument, I think.

00:44:46.000 Yeah, I think her argument is it's racist to have, you know, a border that's being watched.

00:44:53.000 That's true.

00:44:55.000 Which I think we all can agree on.

00:44:56.000 Our family's not being killed by, you know, the cartel.

00:44:59.000 Right.

00:44:59.000 I mean, that's... I mean, they're here, and they're good.

00:45:06.000 You don't hear from them.

00:45:07.000 When they want to get rid of somebody, it's not sloppy.

00:45:10.000 It is.

00:45:10.000 I mean, you see what her alleged aunt said about the aid not getting to people.

00:45:14.000 That's the territory of the United States, Puerto Rico.

00:45:16.000 Yes.

00:45:17.000 Throwing money at a situation with third world countries like Mexico isn't going to fix anything.

00:45:20.000 It's not going to get to anybody.

00:45:22.000 Look at Haiti.

00:45:23.000 How much did the Clinton Federation Foundation send to Haiti. Oh, yeah. Oh my god. I

00:45:28.000 haven't got to anybody. Good luck. No. Oh, yeah Well, and you know that she wasn't even concerned about

00:45:31.000 this because Matt Walsh. I don't know if you guys saw this He started a gofundme. Oh, yeah to help AOC Zabuela and

00:45:37.000 within 24 hours they raised over $100,000

00:45:42.000 To send down there, but we're told by either Her or somebody in her circle who knows that they would not

00:45:49.000 be accepting the funds and so all the donations based on GoFundMe's

00:45:54.000 thing go back to the people who donated.

00:45:55.000 It's like, you just tweeted out that she's living in these terrible conditions and that she needs help and it's Trump's fault, and we said, oh, okay, so there's some red tape?

00:46:03.000 We'll cut right through it.

00:46:04.000 We'll give you charity, which is actually the best way to solve these problems, and you said no.

00:46:08.000 We don't want it because of who it came from.

00:46:11.000 Right.

00:46:11.000 Or it just turns out she's lying and the woman just doesn't have HBO.

00:46:15.000 Well, that's true.

00:46:17.000 Send a look to the carceral system because they do have HBO and CNN in jail.

00:46:25.000 It's a punishment.

00:46:26.000 Abuela's got a new sports car, thanks to GoFundMe.

00:46:29.000 Yeah, that's the first thing Abuela buys.

00:46:32.000 You idiots.

00:46:34.000 It's a grandma, but I'm 49.

00:46:40.000 It's a new low rider down there.

00:46:43.000 Oh, do I love a good El Camino.

00:46:46.000 Especially when they hop.

00:46:47.000 Oh yeah, you gotta be able to hit them switches.

00:46:49.000 They leave the ground.

00:46:54.000 AOC has more.

00:46:56.000 Finally, AOC said, the answer to rising New York... Hold on, hold on, that's the last one.

00:47:01.000 So you said this already, but you said climate change was caused by racial injustice, but there's a clip for that.

00:47:06.000 Is there really?

00:47:06.000 There is, yes.

00:47:08.000 The Green New Deal also, importantly, recognizes the systemic cause of climate change.

00:47:15.000 Because while climate change is a planetary crisis, it is not caused by an environmental or random... It does not have a random or environmental genesis.

00:47:29.000 It's not just human-caused.

00:47:30.000 The band.

00:47:31.000 It's societally caused.

00:47:33.000 The book of the Bible.

00:47:34.000 The climate crisis is a crisis born of injustice, and it is a crisis born of the pursuit of profit at any and all human and ecological cost.

00:47:46.000 Which means that we must recognize in legislation that the trampling of indigenous rights is a cause of climate change.

00:47:56.000 The trampling of racial justice is a cause of climate change.

00:48:00.000 Because we are allowing people and we are allowing ourselves to make sure, we are allowing folks to deny ourselves human rights and deny people the right to healthcare, the right to housing and education.

00:48:12.000 Oh.

00:48:12.000 Did she say the trampoline of racial injustice?

00:48:15.000 Yes.

00:48:15.000 Sounds fun.

00:48:17.000 I'd go.

00:48:18.000 They're actual words, but in syntax they just don't work.

00:48:21.000 Could it be like a blow-up castle?

00:48:23.000 Why did she say trampoline?

00:48:24.000 The bounce house of racism.

00:48:28.000 I think somebody leaned over to the guy and like, hey, she looks like she's rambling.

00:48:30.000 Can you say, yeah, that's right in just a minute just to throw everybody off and let her reset?

00:48:36.000 That's right!

00:48:37.000 Just to sound like somebody agrees with her.

00:48:38.000 Yeah, you're right.

00:48:40.000 She just stumbles back into affordable health care and housing.

00:48:44.000 She throws it all out.

00:48:45.000 College, I think we should tax the rich.

00:48:47.000 No Amazon.

00:48:47.000 What else did I forget?

00:48:48.000 Society, people, and folks.

00:48:51.000 The redundancy department of redundancy.

00:48:55.000 The super slide of hate.

00:49:01.000 It's lethal, deadly, and been known to kill people.

00:49:03.000 Yes, it has.

00:49:04.000 This would be a little bit more humorous to me if she wasn't actually making policy.

00:49:10.000 It would be more humorous if there wasn't somebody there like, yeah!

00:49:16.000 I agree.

00:49:17.000 What did you like about that just now?

00:49:21.000 Surprised AOC.

00:49:22.000 Oh, I have a... Wow, I got a fan, I guess.

00:49:24.000 Yeah, she's like, well, this is weird.

00:49:26.000 Usually people don't like to acknowledge that I don't know what I'm saying.

00:49:29.000 This guy's like, preach on!

00:49:33.000 Preach!

00:49:34.000 What a dunce.

00:49:34.000 What?

00:49:35.000 What?

00:49:36.000 Preach on!

00:49:37.000 Preach!

00:49:38.000 What a dunce.

00:49:39.000 In a good way.

00:49:40.000 Yeah.

00:49:41.000 Allegedly.

00:49:42.000 Oh, yeah.

00:49:43.000 I'm sorry.

00:49:45.000 Allegedly.

00:49:46.000 I mean, she could score very high on that.

00:49:52.000 And finally, AOC said the answer to rising New York crime is to stop building jails.

00:50:06.000 And it is not acceptable for us to use jails as garbage bins for human beings.

00:50:16.000 Does she have a stutter now?

00:50:17.000 She talks to Joe a lot.

00:50:21.000 Yeah, it's rubbing off.

00:50:23.000 Organizers!

00:50:23.000 Oh my gosh.

00:50:23.000 to throw people for whom we don't want to invest in the actual holistic issues of their

00:50:27.000 lives.

00:50:28.000 If we want to reduce violent crime, if we want to reduce the number of people in our

00:50:33.000 jails, the answer is to stop building more of them.

00:50:35.000 The answer is to make sure that we actually build more hospitals, we pay organizers, we

00:50:40.000 get people mental health care and overall health care, employment, etc.

00:50:44.000 It's a support system.

00:50:48.000 It's the et cetera that really puts a fine point on it.

00:50:52.000 And we do all the other stuff we need to do to help them, you know, and et cetera.

00:50:57.000 You fill in the blanks.

00:50:58.000 Come on.

00:50:58.000 If you've committed a horrible senseless act, we feel that you should get benefits.

00:51:02.000 That was the Green New Deal, you know, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

00:51:05.000 Et cetera's always good to say out loud because it just shows you don't know what you're talking about.

00:51:09.000 You know, health care and et cetera.

00:51:12.000 Well, what do you mean?

00:51:13.000 I, you know, stuff.

00:51:15.000 Listen, I just said that we should stop building jails and that'll create fewer criminals.

00:51:19.000 I need a minute.

00:51:20.000 Yeah.

00:51:21.000 This guy just slaughtered eight families.

00:51:23.000 What, does he have dental?

00:51:26.000 I feel like this is the, this is the, this is her, like she, over the weekend, she watched the Field of Dreams and she's like, if you build it, they will come.

00:51:33.000 And she's like, oh, if we don't build it, they won't commit crime.

00:51:37.000 Yeah.

00:51:38.000 And they're so insensitive.

00:51:38.000 Their mind just blows.

00:51:40.000 We're going to talk about prisons.

00:51:41.000 Can I have the entire backdrop be people of color?

00:51:44.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:51:45.000 I mean, what?

00:51:46.000 What are you doing?

00:51:46.000 Not a good look.

00:51:47.000 No, not at all.

00:51:48.000 Oh my God.

00:51:49.000 How stupid is that?

00:51:50.000 It's like, we need to stop building jails.

00:51:52.000 Well, they're building them because the crime.

00:51:55.000 They're not building them with the hopes of having people book a room for a night.

00:51:59.000 Yeah, they're not garbage disposals.

00:52:01.000 They're prisons, where you have to put people that aren't fit for society currently.

00:52:06.000 I mean, I do think that there's obviously flaws in a prison system.

00:52:09.000 If it really is about rehabilitation, I think people do deserve a second chance.

00:52:14.000 I really do.

00:52:15.000 I think it's about cheap labor, and Kamala Harris would know more about that.

00:52:18.000 We should ask her.

00:52:19.000 She put a lot of people in there.

00:52:20.000 Yeah, rumor has it she kept people in for the labor.

00:52:24.000 Allegedly.

00:52:25.000 I don't want to talk out of court.

00:52:29.000 Alright.

00:52:31.000 I think she's a wonderful woman.

00:52:32.000 Great.

00:52:33.000 I think she cares about the country.

00:52:35.000 Yes.

00:52:38.000 Hey Dave, has she been to the border yet?

00:52:41.000 Uh, no.

00:52:42.000 No, no.

00:52:42.000 No.

00:52:43.000 But she's flown over it.

00:52:44.000 Yeah, she's aware it's there.

00:52:46.000 Okay.

00:52:48.000 Somebody gave her a map and said, now please draw the border.

00:52:51.000 Alright, check.

00:52:52.000 This is your job.

00:52:52.000 Done.

00:52:52.000 You're supposed to take care of this.

00:52:54.000 Well, she doesn't want to go there and see what her friend built.

00:52:57.000 You know, the guy she called racist and ran with?

00:53:00.000 Rapist.

00:53:00.000 Anyway.

00:53:01.000 Is that what it was?

00:53:02.000 Oh, I'm sorry.

00:53:04.000 Yeah, that's... I'm sure she called him racist at some point.

00:53:06.000 Yeah, he smells kids.

00:53:08.000 Uh, so, and finally, AOC's... Oh, no, we did that already.

00:53:12.000 No, finally!

00:53:13.000 Let's just go on to a happier... You know what?

00:53:16.000 Let's go... What happened?

00:53:18.000 Something... Ah, okay.

00:53:20.000 It was you, Dave.

00:53:20.000 Don't bring it up.

00:53:21.000 Was it me?

00:53:22.000 Yeah.

00:53:22.000 I'm sorry, did I... Did I pull a tube in?

00:53:25.000 You did.

00:53:26.000 It just hit the desk.

00:53:28.000 Sorry, guys.

00:53:28.000 You're fine.

00:53:29.000 Alright.

00:53:31.000 It's a hand trick.

00:53:32.000 I can do it without touching.

00:53:35.000 Lift a rock with it.

00:53:38.000 Tubin's guilty of an entirely new crime.

00:53:40.000 Yes, it's true.

00:53:41.000 But we don't want him in jail.

00:53:43.000 We just gotta make sure he's getting good benefits.

00:53:47.000 Happy birthday, Donald Trump!

00:53:53.000 It's waiting for that, Tim.

00:53:54.000 It is the former president's 75th birthday, which he looks great for 75.

00:53:58.000 75 years young.

00:53:59.000 Yeah, 75 years young.

00:54:00.000 Compare him to Biden.

00:54:02.000 Yeah, don't.

00:54:04.000 He actually looks better since he left office, don't you think?

00:54:06.000 Yeah, he does.

00:54:07.000 I think he's less stressed.

00:54:08.000 Oh, yeah.

00:54:09.000 He's having fun now.

00:54:10.000 And 75 is actually three times the age of anybody that's meant to Clinton.

00:54:18.000 That's some good facts.

00:54:19.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:54:19.000 It's true.

00:54:20.000 I mean, it might be true.

00:54:22.000 You know, we don't know for sure.

00:54:23.000 We wouldn't want to get in trouble for saying a joke.

00:54:26.000 Allegedly.

00:54:27.000 A lot of... I mean, like Canada.

00:54:29.000 Oh, man.

00:54:30.000 They're... Not to derail.

00:54:31.000 We have to move along.

00:54:32.000 No, but you're... I don't mind the derail.

00:54:35.000 The derail?

00:54:36.000 Oh, that's... I take the derail.

00:54:38.000 You know who likes the D-Rail?

00:54:39.000 Stop it!

00:54:41.000 I immediately regret my choice of words.

00:54:42.000 There you go.

00:54:43.000 Toobin!

00:54:44.000 Toobin is the conductor of the D-Rail.

00:54:49.000 And he's the only passenger!

00:54:50.000 That's a third rail you're talking about.

00:54:51.000 I am a child, I'm sorry.

00:54:52.000 Actually, I'm not sorry.

00:54:54.000 This brings me joy, and I know you're laughing.

00:54:56.000 A lot of people don't know this, but he actually had a short music career.

00:55:00.000 Oh, did he?

00:55:01.000 Okay.

00:55:01.000 And to celebrate his birthday, let's look back on some of his greatest hits.

00:55:06.000 Get ready, for now that's what I call Trump.

00:55:09.000 In this compilation, your favorite president makes these hits his own.

00:55:13.000 Don't go chasing GDP.

00:55:17.000 The median income is a better metric.

00:55:23.000 And who can forget the Pete Buttigieg song?

00:55:26.000 Splish splash, they were taking a bath.

00:55:29.000 And it was a couple of b****s. Voted on by the attendees at the weekly White House Talent Show, this collection is sure to make you want to get up and dance.

00:55:39.000 Nikki, don't lose my number.

00:55:42.000 Might replace pets with someone else.

00:55:46.000 I might.

00:55:47.000 Haven't decided.

00:55:48.000 Support the police, because they work really, really hard.

00:55:51.000 News.

00:55:54.000 It's all fake news.

00:55:56.000 B-I-G-C.

00:55:58.000 That's how you spell Hillary!

00:56:00.000 B.I.G.C. you're an a**hole, senator for Hillary. Welcome to the a**hole called California. There's a homeless face,

00:56:11.000 poop all over the place. Lots of poop.

00:56:17.000 Now that's what I call Trump.

00:56:20.000 Now that's what I call Trump. It's available on CD and cassette. Call 1-800-MAGA-2020 for details.

00:56:23.000 It's sold out instantly.

00:56:26.000 It's already gone.

00:56:27.000 I got the Laserdisc.

00:56:29.000 Did you?

00:56:30.000 Yeah.

00:56:30.000 The little one with the thing?

00:56:32.000 Yeah.

00:56:33.000 They call it CD.

00:56:37.000 What is that thing?

00:56:38.000 Can you fast forward?

00:56:39.000 I don't know.

00:56:40.000 It's like a VHS.

00:56:40.000 I don't know.

00:56:41.000 I'll tell you this though.

00:56:44.000 Reading these YouTube guidelines?

00:56:48.000 As you know, I think we should put this out there on my episode, because it seems anytime my host people dig up old stuff, and somehow I get blamed.

00:56:57.000 We get a channel strike.

00:56:58.000 Let's be cool, YouTube.

00:57:00.000 I'm your boy.

00:57:00.000 We've had fun together.

00:57:02.000 Just because I didn't call you back after that date doesn't mean we didn't have a good time.

00:57:07.000 No.

00:57:08.000 But who orders the lobster and steak on a first date?

00:57:13.000 You did.

00:57:15.000 It's a little much.

00:57:17.000 Didn't put out.

00:57:18.000 No, not put out a little.

00:57:20.000 Just a little peck on the cheek, which is like saying, don't call me.

00:57:25.000 Is that really what it is?

00:57:26.000 Yeah.

00:57:26.000 And then you're complaining that I didn't call you.

00:57:28.000 Well, you didn't give it up.

00:57:30.000 Wow.

00:57:31.000 I'm not saying you got to give it all up.

00:57:33.000 Oh, okay.

00:57:34.000 Like a hug.

00:57:35.000 A hug would have been fine.

00:57:36.000 Yeah.

00:57:37.000 Thank you for the meal.

00:57:38.000 Yeah.

00:57:39.000 I'll be honest.

00:57:40.000 I think they went to the bathroom and threw it up.

00:57:42.000 Oh, an $86 dinner.

00:57:45.000 Wow.

00:57:46.000 Was it Tess Holiday?

00:57:47.000 Yeah.

00:57:48.000 Well, yes, she's, boy, she's got to get it together.

00:57:52.000 I think she should eat more.

00:57:56.000 No, for real, she's anorexic.

00:57:57.000 It's a disorder.

00:57:58.000 Yeah, it is.

00:57:59.000 It's a disorder. Yeah, it is. It's a huge disorder.

00:58:03.000 As you know, we've received two strikes and one warning on this channel because of YouTube's

00:58:09.000 arbitrary enforced guidelines. This is really what we're gonna say. Okay.

00:58:15.000 And we've all read the guidelines front to back many times over, and yet we still can't make sense of the extremely vague language.

00:58:23.000 So now we'll go through each guideline we allegedly violated.

00:58:27.000 Why don't you give us the first one?

00:58:30.000 Alright, our first warning was back in March 16th on our COVID lockdown anniversary show where we were celebrating, and I know this sounds weird, one year of 15 days to flatten the curve.

00:58:43.000 Those two are equivalent.

00:58:45.000 And here are the rules YouTube has about COVID-19 misinformation.

00:58:49.000 Okay, so It reads, content that encourages the use of home remedies, prayer, or rituals in place of medical treatment, such as consulting a doctor or going to the hospital.

00:58:58.000 By the way, don't we all kind of uniformly make fun of people for not seeking medical treatment?

00:59:03.000 Oh, yeah.

00:59:04.000 We're like, guys, come on, even if you believe in God, this is like an outstretching of God's hands to give doctors the ability to help you, so that seems a little weird.

00:59:12.000 Well, yeah, that's why.

00:59:14.000 Don't wipe your butt with the answers.

00:59:16.000 That's, yeah.

00:59:17.000 No, I think that's a good way to put it.

00:59:20.000 I mean, yeah, it's like, the kid's got spinal meningitis, what do you want to do?

00:59:24.000 I don't know, tree sap?

00:59:25.000 Rub some leaves on him.

00:59:27.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:59:28.000 I think we can all agree.

00:59:29.000 Advances.

00:59:30.000 Yes.

00:59:31.000 Yeah.

00:59:31.000 Alright, so also content that claims that there's a guaranteed cure for COVID-19.

00:59:36.000 I have no idea who is doing that, by the way.

00:59:39.000 And then a few more that we'll just kind of read through because we're scared.

00:59:43.000 Content that recommends use of ivermectin or hydroxychloroquine for the treatment of COVID-19.

00:59:50.000 Yes.

00:59:51.000 Claims that Evermectin or Hydroxychloroquine are effective treatments for COVID-19.

01:00:00.000 Other content that discourages people from consulting a medical professional or seeking medical advice.

01:00:07.000 Again, we've covered this.

01:00:08.000 You always seek medical advice.

01:00:10.000 Who's advising you not to?

01:00:12.000 That's crazy.

01:00:13.000 I call the Orkin man.

01:00:15.000 You do, yes.

01:00:16.000 That's just me and his army.

01:00:18.000 Hi, my fish tank is dirty.

01:00:19.000 Can you please bring me something that I can take as medicine?

01:00:22.000 It is never a good idea.

01:00:23.000 Don't ever do anything like that.

01:00:25.000 Ever, ever, ever.

01:00:26.000 I need to kill my husband.

01:00:28.000 Allegedly.

01:00:29.000 Allegedly, etc.

01:00:30.000 Geez.

01:00:30.000 All right.

01:00:31.000 Claims that there is a guaranteed prevention method for COVID-19.

01:00:38.000 Claims.

01:00:39.000 Claims.

01:00:40.000 That there's a guaranteed prevention.

01:00:41.000 Guaranteed prevention.

01:00:42.000 Isn't that kind of like an oxymoron, Dave?

01:00:44.000 Like, isn't that the whole point of trying to prevent?

01:00:47.000 Like, it's nothing... There's no guarantee.

01:00:49.000 The idea of prevention is just to attempt to prevent it.

01:00:52.000 Correct.

01:00:53.000 It can't be a guaranteed thing.

01:00:54.000 Otherwise, it would be a cure.

01:00:57.000 Ish.

01:00:58.000 Roughly.

01:01:01.000 But I do think washing your hands and taking certain precautions is a good... I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say something that might be a little controversial, but I think you should wash your hands every time you go to the bathroom.

01:01:13.000 Radical, bro!

01:01:15.000 And I see the ones who don't, and I know some of you are watching, and I want you to know, you are garbage.

01:01:22.000 And we know you.

01:01:23.000 Wash your hands.

01:01:24.000 Thank you.

01:01:25.000 Everybody knows.

01:01:25.000 Alright.

01:01:26.000 I have friends like that.

01:01:27.000 They're like, that's the cleanest port on me.

01:01:28.000 I'm like, not to everybody else.

01:01:32.000 Maybe the G7 greeting doesn't seem so silly.

01:01:34.000 Yeah, that's true.

01:01:35.000 They're like, oh, we all just came from, you know.

01:01:38.000 Not washing our hands and stuff.

01:01:40.000 Came out of the latrine.

01:01:41.000 Alright, so a few more here.

01:01:45.000 Claims that any medication or vaccination is a guaranteed prevention method for COVID-19.

01:01:52.000 Content that recommends use of ivermectin or hydrochloroquine for prevention of COVID-19.

01:01:58.000 Claims that wearing a mask is dangerous or causes negative physical health effects.

01:02:03.000 Claims that masks do not play a role in preventing the contraction or transmission of COVID-19.

01:02:09.000 Okay.

01:02:09.000 Okay, so those are just real dangerous, you know, areas.

01:02:14.000 Claims about COVID-19 vaccinations that contradict expert consensus from local health authorities or the WHO.

01:02:21.000 Hold on, by the way.

01:02:22.000 Wait, local?

01:02:22.000 Local health authorities?

01:02:23.000 Are we putting them on the same level as WHO?

01:02:25.000 Are they all, you know?

01:02:26.000 What's a local health authority?

01:02:28.000 I really don't know.

01:02:29.000 Like, is that a local doctor?

01:02:30.000 Is it urgent care?

01:02:31.000 The Hooterville doctor.

01:02:34.000 Local doc.

01:02:35.000 I have no idea.

01:02:35.000 Is it the guy who gave me the physical this morning?

01:02:38.000 Uh, pretty much.

01:02:39.000 Turned your head and coughed?

01:02:40.000 Yeah.

01:02:41.000 He's a local health expert.

01:02:43.000 And by the way, if you're bored, listen to this.

01:02:45.000 He checked my prostate and then took the glove off.

01:02:49.000 Oh.

01:02:49.000 Well, Dave, that sounds like a... It felt better for both of us.

01:02:51.000 Well, you asked for him to do that.

01:02:54.000 That was a request.

01:02:55.000 Maybe don't request that kind of treatment.

01:02:57.000 You won't get it.

01:02:58.000 I'm just saying, if it breaks, enjoy.

01:03:03.000 We have to read these guidelines and understand them and apply them.

01:03:07.000 Just imagine doing comedy with what I've just read so far, much less what we're going to get to in just a minute.

01:03:13.000 And by the way, not even just comedy.

01:03:16.000 Try to have an opinion about something without stepping on any of these landmines.

01:03:21.000 Whales at SeaWorld in the 80s jump through less hoops than we have to on this show.

01:03:26.000 All right, let me keep reading here.

01:03:28.000 So, claims that an approved COVID-19 vaccine will cause death, infertility, miscarriage, autism, or contraction of other infectious diseases.

01:03:35.000 Can't say that.

01:03:36.000 Claims that approved COVID-19 vaccine will cause substances that scroll slower.

01:03:43.000 Dave's like, well hell, I'm done with this segment, let's move right along.

01:03:46.000 I'm sorry.

01:03:46.000 I'm reading so that I make sure I get these completely accurate.

01:03:49.000 I have to be honest, I thought this was mine, and it was mine.

01:03:52.000 Oh, okay.

01:03:54.000 Dave's Show.

01:03:55.000 Claims that approved COVID-19 vaccine will contain substances that are not on the vaccine ingredient list, such as biological matter from fetuses, fetal tissue, fetal cell lines, or animal products.

01:04:06.000 Wow.

01:04:07.000 All right, Dave, I'm going to turn it back over to you.

01:04:08.000 you can read for a minute. Claims that an approved COVID-19 vaccine will contain

01:04:13.000 substances or devices meant to track or identify those who've received it, which

01:04:20.000 I don't believe that they would do at many corporations where they make you

01:04:25.000 wear a sticker or a mask or give you a vaccine passport. I mean none of that.

01:04:30.000 They would never track you, they already have your phone, why would they use an injectable?

01:04:33.000 Why would they use a chip that they're voting on? Claims that an approved COVID-19

01:04:39.000 vaccine will alter a person's genetic makeup.

01:04:44.000 Tell that to the werewolves.

01:04:47.000 You've met one.

01:04:50.000 I have met one.

01:04:51.000 He just didn't turn into a werewolf.

01:04:53.000 But he did turn into a jerk.

01:04:58.000 Claims that any vaccine causes contraction of COVID-19.

01:05:03.000 Can I?

01:05:05.000 All right.

01:05:07.000 An honest question, though.

01:05:08.000 Yes.

01:05:09.000 If you are getting the bug in you, even in a small dose, is that a possible side effect?

01:05:17.000 So, according to YouTube guidelines, we cannot discuss whether that is a possible or not.

01:05:22.000 Okay, but I just asked a question.

01:05:24.000 It's a question.

01:05:25.000 It's a question.

01:05:26.000 Not a statement.

01:05:26.000 It's a question, Dave.

01:05:28.000 It's a question.

01:05:28.000 I'm sorry.

01:05:28.000 How dare you?

01:05:30.000 How dare you question it?

01:05:32.000 Like this whole governmental body... Oh jeez.

01:05:35.000 What?

01:05:36.000 No.

01:05:38.000 And moving on.

01:05:39.000 And moving on.

01:05:40.000 Somebody sounded really smart there.

01:05:43.000 Claims that a specific population will be required by any entity except for a government to take part in vaccine trials and receive the vaccine first.

01:05:56.000 That's a lot of words.

01:05:57.000 I didn't know what it meant.

01:05:59.000 I know.

01:05:59.000 No clue.

01:06:01.000 Favoritism.

01:06:01.000 It's like AOC talking about weather.

01:06:05.000 It's just like, I don't know.

01:06:07.000 There's acid rain because of hate.

01:06:11.000 Tonight, content that promotes the use of unapproved or homemade COVID-19 vaccines.

01:06:20.000 Homemade?

01:06:22.000 Alright, let's just all stay away from the homemade stuff, okay?

01:06:25.000 Yeah, probably a good idea.

01:06:26.000 It's a pretty good rule.

01:06:28.000 Yeah.

01:06:28.000 I, you know, I used to take a lot of homemade LSD and I gotta be honest, I shouldn't have.

01:06:34.000 Yeah, not a good idea.

01:06:36.000 This one's actually funny, this next one.

01:06:37.000 Oh yeah.

01:06:38.000 Instructions to counterfeit vaccine certificates or offers of the sale of such documents.

01:06:45.000 Oh, he created an entire new black market.

01:06:47.000 Way to go.

01:06:48.000 Oh, it's been created.

01:06:49.000 Yeah, it's there.

01:06:51.000 Not that I would ever purchase one.

01:06:52.000 They're too easy to make.

01:06:55.000 You should never do that.

01:06:56.000 Not that you would ever do that.

01:06:58.000 No, you couldn't just hit print.

01:07:00.000 And don't do that.

01:07:01.000 No, you should not do that.

01:07:03.000 Never.

01:07:03.000 Well, it's not like anybody's gonna be checking them.

01:07:06.000 That'd be crazy.

01:07:09.000 Content that promotes diagnostic methods that contradict local health authorities or WHO?

01:07:18.000 WHO?

01:07:19.000 There's no question.

01:07:20.000 Diagnostic methods?

01:07:22.000 I know, but if it says WHO?

01:07:24.000 Like hook them up to this other machine to see if something's wrong?

01:07:27.000 Nope.

01:07:28.000 Nope.

01:07:29.000 Can't do that.

01:07:31.000 This is boring me.

01:07:32.000 Let's get through this phone book, guys.

01:07:33.000 Yeah, this is horrible.

01:07:35.000 Let's just do a couple more.

01:07:36.000 Content that claims COVID-19 is not caused by a viral infection.

01:07:41.000 Content that claims COVID-19 is not contagious.

01:07:44.000 Content that claims that COVID-19 cannot spread in certain climates or geographies.

01:07:50.000 Why don't you just, this whole thing should just be COVID-19.

01:07:53.000 Content that claims that any group or individual has immunity to virus or cannot transmit the virus.

01:08:00.000 Denial that COVID-19 exists.

01:08:02.000 Claims that people have not died or gotten sick from COVID-19.

01:08:04.000 Oh lord.

01:08:07.000 It just keeps going.

01:08:08.000 Claims that the virus no longer exists or that the pandemic is over.

01:08:15.000 Claims that you used to work with COVID-19 at Blockbuster.

01:08:19.000 claims that you can wear COVID-19 as a hat and not get the virus.

01:08:27.000 Having sex with anybody under COVID- Nope.

01:08:32.000 Nope.

01:08:34.000 There, there you go.

01:08:35.000 Geez.

01:08:37.000 I just gotta run.

01:08:38.000 It's absurd.

01:08:39.000 It is insane.

01:08:40.000 Wait, that was called a fast fact?

01:08:41.000 That was a very slow fast fact.

01:08:43.000 That was not a fast fact.

01:08:44.000 I had to throw it in.

01:08:45.000 Come on.

01:08:46.000 Who's with me, right?

01:08:47.000 Yes.

01:08:47.000 This is enough.

01:08:48.000 Do you see the world that we live in?

01:08:50.000 Yeah, it's telling you not to discuss something that's in the news.

01:08:54.000 On a news program.

01:08:55.000 I said program.

01:08:57.000 I like when old people watch TV and they're like, I'm watching my stories.

01:09:02.000 I wonder if Angela Lansbury will solve this murder.

01:09:06.000 So many people got killed in that small town.

01:09:08.000 Have you ever seen the number?

01:09:09.000 Never watched an episode, but I told you.

01:09:13.000 I had a bipolar mom.

01:09:14.000 We watched it.

01:09:15.000 I think the town where she lived, it was like a 108% murder rate.

01:09:24.000 They were trying to beat Gary, Indiana, okay?

01:09:26.000 Oh, that's a tough task.

01:09:27.000 It's just such a beautiful place, and it's like, wow, somebody got murdered again.

01:09:31.000 And she never aged, because she looked 75 when she was 30.

01:09:34.000 Oh yeah, she always looks the same.

01:09:36.000 Gotta look pretty young.

01:09:37.000 Well, I think, are we going to go behind the paywall for some of this?

01:09:41.000 We got some more stuff here, but I think we're good to go.

01:09:43.000 Just a reminder, we are still taking chats.

01:09:46.000 Oh!

01:09:47.000 Sentimental.

01:09:47.000 We get to have your chats at the very end of this.

01:09:49.000 We'll just say this.

01:09:51.000 On May 29th, our first strike was for a video about the Nevada voter rolls, which we've discussed on the show.

01:09:57.000 Content that advances false claims with widespread flawed.

01:10:03.000 And our second strike was on May 10th for violating YouTube's harassment and cyber bully policies.

01:10:09.000 Because we revealed the death of- They alleged- Right.

01:10:13.000 The alleged death- That we reveled in the death.

01:10:15.000 McKay O'Brien, the 13-year-old girl, was trying to stab another girl- We did not.

01:10:18.000 Which we in no way reveled in that.

01:10:21.000 I think it was quite sad that that happened.

01:10:24.000 Yeah.

01:10:24.000 So let's just go ahead and say we were not reveling in the death.

01:10:29.000 We don't think that's funny.

01:10:30.000 We don't revel in the death, especially of a young person.

01:10:33.000 So that's another strike that is, in my opinion, completely inappropriate.

01:10:38.000 But, I'm going to tell you what we are going to do.

01:10:40.000 We're going to go onto the Blaze!

01:10:42.000 What do you guys think about that?

01:10:43.000 Can we do the cartoon?

01:10:45.000 I really like the cartoon.

01:10:46.000 Oh, we can do a cartoon!

01:10:47.000 I was going to do the cartoon.

01:10:49.000 And this weekend you can see me, why not plug myself?

01:10:52.000 Do it!

01:10:52.000 Yeah, do it!

01:10:53.000 This weekend you can see me at One Night Stands in Waterford, Michigan, and then next weekend at Helium in Buffalo.

01:11:00.000 So come out to the show!

01:11:02.000 How many nights are you doing in Waterford?

01:11:03.000 Just two nights.

01:11:05.000 For a one-night stand, okay.

01:11:06.000 Yeah, a one-night stand.

01:11:07.000 The two nights is... Two nights at one-night stand.

01:11:10.000 Two nights at one-night stand.

01:11:11.000 That makes sense.

01:11:13.000 They've come back for seconds.

01:11:14.000 They're good people.

01:11:16.000 A lot of times when they name comedy clubs, you just go, well, that's not gonna last.

01:11:21.000 And I'm kidding, of course.

01:11:22.000 It's a lovely town.

01:11:24.000 Come out to the show.

01:11:25.000 Each show is at 7pm each night.

01:11:27.000 Buy tickets now because they tend to sell out.

01:11:29.000 Dave is on kind of a hot streak.

01:11:31.000 I'm doing pretty well.

01:11:32.000 One of the great American hockey players from Waterford, Michigan.

01:11:35.000 Who would that be?

01:11:37.000 Nobody cares, Bob.

01:11:38.000 Back to you.

01:11:40.000 Two Detroiters talking here.

01:11:41.000 I should know this.

01:11:42.000 That's what I meant.

01:11:43.000 Not Probert.

01:11:44.000 Pat?

01:11:46.000 I didn't know he was from Waterford, though.

01:11:50.000 I did not know he was from Waterford.

01:11:52.000 Look at that! Don't yawn.

01:11:54.000 Oh, sorry.

01:11:55.000 I'm sorry, do you want to talk about soccer?

01:11:56.000 You're talking about a completely useless sport, thank you.

01:11:58.000 Did he play soccer?

01:12:00.000 I didn't. Tough sport from a tough time.

01:12:02.000 He played the football.

01:12:03.000 Yeah, he played football.

01:12:04.000 I hope your CTE kicks in.

01:12:06.000 But he wore a bun.

01:12:08.000 Mid-show right now.

01:12:09.000 He wore a bun so his hair wouldn't get in the way.

01:12:10.000 What makes you think it hasn't?

01:12:12.000 Yeah, that's true.

01:12:13.000 You are always grabbing your head and...

01:12:16.000 Ow. Ow.

01:12:18.000 Ouch.

01:12:18.000 Oh, but guys, go ahead.

01:12:20.000 Go to Crowder Shop.

01:12:21.000 We got cool shirts.

01:12:22.000 That's still up, right?

01:12:23.000 Yeah, for now.

01:12:26.000 I found some really cool shirts on there, actually.

01:12:28.000 I got myself a Finnegan.

01:12:30.000 Oh yeah, that's the best shirt on there.

01:12:32.000 I really like the Finnegan shirt.

01:12:33.000 We're gonna get an Ahoy shirt eventually, or they're just paying me lip service, but I hope they do.

01:12:40.000 And right now we're gonna go off, we're going to read borderline content, go off to piss off Blaze Chat, and what can I say?

Louder with Crowder - June 14, 2021

Clinton Body Count GOES UP? What Happened to Christopher Sign? | Louder with Crowder

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