On this week's episode of Ash Wednesday, the boys discuss the death of Officer David Dorn, a police officer who was shot and killed while responding to a domestic dispute in Ferguson, Missouri, on Nov. 9, 2019.
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00:01:41.000This is, of course, Many People Have Forgotten, Officer David Dorn, who was killed serving his community in the riots.
00:01:49.000We didn't, so you can buy this shirt at louderthepowdershop.com and every nickel, every dime, every loonie, every toonie, every peso will go to the family of David Dorn to hopefully help support him.
00:02:03.000Because a lot of these people, you know, they're forgotten.
00:02:05.000This is one thing the left does really well.
00:02:07.000They remember a lot of people, often false heroes, whether it's people like Mike Brown or, you know, a lot of these people in the Black Lives Matter movement, and then we sort of find out what actually happened and they just sort of deify the person regardless of actions.
00:05:04.000And then as far as sodas, part of my routine in the morning is when I have my Black Rifle Coffee, of course, BlackRifleCoffee.com's Last Crowder.
00:05:52.000I actually have a number of non-alcoholic drinks that I like, but it's dependent on location.
00:05:57.000So for example, I will never buy ginger ale or apple juice, but if I'm staying at a hotel and I go to breakfast in the morning, I always drink apple juice if it's available.
00:06:07.000And when I'm on a plane, I will always drink ginger ale.
00:06:09.000You drink ginger ale whiskey on a plane.
00:07:04.000So I was putting, I had like a pint glass, and I was, like a tulip pint glass, I was putting probably about six ounces of Evan Williams, and then ginger ale, I had like four or five.
00:10:33.000When you have Play-Doh that looks like a strawberry, it smells like a strawberry, but then if the kid eats it, he's going to shorten his lifespan by 18 years.
00:11:28.000Hey Crowder and Company, this is Garrett.
00:11:30.000I just wanted to ask you guys real quick, what do you think are the most important aspects of lifestyle that need to be compatible between two people for a long-term relationship to be successful?
00:12:32.000That's when you switch back to Anderson Cooper.
00:12:36.000That's just like all this time we were advocating for responsible gun ownership in Second Amendment, realized all we needed to do was aim it at civilians with their finger on the trigger, and the left would have gotten on board.
00:14:28.000You can have someone you disagree with on a whole lot with guys, politically and still.
00:14:31.000Then it comes down to more so values like loyalty, honesty, you know, not all of my friends.
00:14:38.000Now, the truth is now, today in 2020, you don't really find that in a lot of leftists, unfortunately.
00:14:43.000You find it in classical liberals who maybe support higher taxes, but people who believe in shouting someone down with a boombox and lighting their car on fire, not really someone I want with me in the foxhole.
00:14:55.000Yeah, people, if you're headed toward marriage, if that's your goal, then Trust is going to be a big deal, and that is based on, again, an underlying set of values.
00:15:07.000Because you're going to be making decisions with this other person, and so being able to work within the same framework, you're not going to be around that person every time they're making the decision.
00:15:15.000My wife's at home with my kids right now.
00:15:16.000I'm not around her every single second of the day, but I trust her with that, and she can trust me with a bunch of other stuff.
00:15:21.000So it's like trust is going to be important, and the values that underlie that trust are essential.
00:15:26.000And I'm not the best person to ask this advice because I started on second base.
00:16:02.000I had a guy, a close friend who was a Muslim, so I'd be sitting there reading my Bible, sharing a hotel room with him, and he'd be like praying towards Mecca, and then we'd get up the next day and Max Elton squats, benching deadlifts.
00:16:11.000Did you ever pray to cancel out his prayers?
00:16:20.000We were in different weight classes, so it didn't matter.
00:16:22.000But no, I think a shared interest, you can really bond over that.
00:16:25.000And, you know, politics, religion, other things don't have to come into the mix.
00:16:29.000With a marriage, it's obviously different because if you try to do that, you'll be pulling in two opposite directions.
00:16:35.000And that's where this sort of biblical analogy of being yoked together with someone, you've got to, if you're yoked, two animals yoked together, they've got to be going the same way.
00:17:09.000I think when it comes to the relationships, you often have to have a similar goal, and you have to be able to know that when that person is making a decision, that you can generally understand.
00:17:19.000Like, I'm not saying, like, you pick the wrong tenor.
00:17:31.000What kind of relationships do we want to have?
00:17:33.000All of that means that, you know, you've got to have some level of kind of core compatibility.
00:17:37.000Even if you have, you know, you watch TV in different rooms because you like different shows or one of you likes to, you know, shoot guns and the other one likes to go play golf or like whatever, you know?
00:17:46.000Wait, which one of you in your relationship likes to play golf?
00:18:01.000But I think with friendships, you're right.
00:18:03.000There's no question, like for example, I play in a band and we have a variety of people on all spectrums.
00:18:08.000We were recording a song actually a couple weeks ago for a new album and the producer was a small business conservative from New York.
00:18:15.000He's like, I have Conservatism is in my blood because of how I've seen small businesses being treated under certain policies in the state of New York and how that's affected my family and my grandparents and stuff like that.
00:18:26.000And then we had another gentleman also from New York, an immigrant who lived in Brooklyn, had a more leftist type of view.
00:18:33.000And over the course of one of our breaks, like we were recording, we took a break, we're, you know, having a drink, eating some food, talked about politics for about 30 minutes, and then wrapped it up and got back done.
00:18:41.000And, you know, it doesn't have to be because you're not always having to go to the same place, do the same things, trust them with your kids, or your finances, or your decision for church.
00:18:53.000And I think with men in particular, we were talking about this earlier, how kind of in the powerlifting community there was sort of a lot of common ground, a kinship with the combat sports community, whether it was jujitsu or even collegiate wrestling.
00:19:03.000The reason for that is A, I think it's because it's an individual sport.
00:19:06.000You know, so much training comes down to a moment where it's all on you.
00:19:09.000There's a lot of similarities between strength sports and combat sports.
00:19:13.000There's an intensity, as well as kind of, you go out there alone, but you do train with a team of people.
00:19:20.000And there is something to be said, for men particularly, while we're getting off relationships, going more into the territory of friendships, of being in some kind of a fight, some kind of a battle together, some kind of a struggle, does definitely seem to forge a bond.
00:19:35.000Because, you know, you can also, I think all of us at some point have had a relationship where, okay, it was tested, and the person folded, and you realize you cannot trust that person.
00:19:43.000So even if you don't share the same political values, or maybe political policies, I would say,
00:19:50.000because the difference between, for example, a lot of Muslims and Christians,
00:19:53.000they're actually probably very similarly aligned with a lot of values outside of, you know,
00:19:56.000like we believe that women can get in the driver's seat in the Volvo.
00:19:59.000It's not, you know, ain't gonna mean all that much to me.
00:20:02.000But yeah, if you share those values and you do see some loyalty and some trust
00:20:07.000and people who will be there when you need them, that's what's most important in a male relationship.
00:20:12.000But yeah, you can have a common interest, and everything kind of revolves around that.
00:20:16.000And sometimes you'll have friendships where it really just revolves around a common interest and you don't talk about a whole lot of other things, whereas in a relationship with a woman, those common interests outside of values and direction don't matter as much.
00:20:30.000And just because something's not coming up right now doesn't mean it never will.
00:20:34.000So that if you are in a relationship, if you're dating somebody, you can't maintain sort of political neutrality or moral neutrality or religious neutrality for a while.
00:20:45.000You can only do that if you don't really want to be with them.
00:20:49.000If you don't really want to share the kinds of things you have to share in a marriage, Is the only way you can get any further out of the road and inevitably it will cause a problem.
00:21:10.000So we are an example of we have a lot of common interests, but I have friends who probably have almost zero common interests, but their marriage still works great because they share those values.
00:21:17.000And I think it actually, you know, opposites can attract, it can be interesting and exciting to have someone who Well, my brother and his wife, for example, they share a lot in common.
00:21:30.000They are interested in a lot of the same things.
00:21:32.000They're both very, you know, they like to be around each other all the time.
00:21:35.000My wife and I are actually pretty, I would say, independent in the sense that my wife can be downstairs reading a book, or she can be reading a book while I'm watching a documentary, and we're perfectly happy.
00:21:44.000You know, we have the dogs with us, and we're in each other's company, right?
00:21:51.000It also does come down to, in relationships, esteeming your partner first.
00:21:54.000And so, when I look for a movie that we're gonna watch together, if my wife will say, hey, I'm tired, I'd maybe like to watch a movie tonight, could you pick one?
00:22:00.000I think we've all had this conversation, the biggest fights I ever got to in my life was with a girlfriend back in a video store.
00:22:05.000Because, you know, the physicality of it just makes you want to, like, find the hard edge and... Not that you did.
00:22:26.000But, so if she says, hey, try and find a movie, I will try and find something that my wife enjoys.
00:22:30.000And I find something that I like that my wife likes.
00:22:32.000For example, she loves like those early 90s thrillers, like, you know, Primal Fear, like Basic Attraction, Fatal Attraction, Basic Instinct, those kinds of things.
00:22:40.000I think the film like Frailty, these kinds.
00:23:47.000But on the flip side, with men, And I want to know, people out there, I guess this is kind of a question for you.
00:23:52.000What do you find, how do you see the connections being different between sort of your friendships, namely your same-sex friendships?
00:24:00.000That's probably a whole other discussion.
00:24:01.000I don't really know that men and women can be really good friends.
00:24:05.000I think you can, like, for example, I work with Courtney and we have a professional relationship and we're from afar, but I don't think my wife would ever be okay with me hanging out with a woman as often as I hang out with people here, Gerald alone.
00:24:15.000You know, Mike Pence was dragged through the mud because he said, I won't go out to dinner.
00:24:19.000Because all he basically said was, hey, if I'm going to Cheesecake Factory with a dame, I'm going to make sure that there's somebody else present so I don't get Me Too'd.
00:24:27.000This was pre-Me Too, so they didn't even have a label for it.
00:24:31.000Like, just don't hang out with girls alone.
00:24:33.000And really, Cheesecake Factory should have been the most upset because he said that their meals were always, he said it was aggressively mediocre.
00:25:28.000And then it turned into a full-fledged fight.
00:25:30.000It's like we were fighting before with less intensity, but now there were elbows grinding, and then we both got up and he's like, yeah, you wanna go?
00:25:43.000And then after that, we got into a fight.
00:25:45.000Turned out that he was going through a rough period in his relationship, and he called me and he said, hey man, I'm sorry, it's just, you know, like, obviously this is
00:26:27.000And we knew when we went to tournaments that we had each other's backs, that we would be there cornering each other, that we would be kind of helping each other warm up.
00:26:49.000And that can be the case in a marriage as well.
00:26:52.000I mean, if a wife doesn't respect her husband, You know, that will sap the identity from the man and will also just destroy that relationship.
00:27:00.000Yeah, women tend to receive love more so in tenderness, in kindness, in being gentle, in being compassionate, in listening.
00:27:08.000And men sort of receive love very often in forms of respect, in service, in appreciation.
00:27:13.000That doesn't mean, get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich!
00:27:16.000It'll melt your husband's heart if he comes home and you make a really good meal because you just did it because you love him and you know that he loves that chicken piccata and it's better than Cheesecake Factory.
00:27:26.000Again, chicken piccata, chicken piccata for anyone listening out there.
00:27:41.000Is I thought, if there was a restaurant that Audio Wade would love the most, it's the frickin' Encyclopedia Tomb that is the Cheesecake Factory menu.
00:28:13.000Although I don't really know how valuable that is anymore.
00:28:17.000But yeah, no, I think probably the same thing.
00:28:18.000You probably have members in your band there, Half-Asian Bill, where you probably don't have a lot of commonality outside of music with some of them.
00:28:24.000But when you're there, it doesn't matter.
00:28:26.000You're close because you're doing something together.
00:28:27.000Well we're close and they are all very respectful like we I think I've told you guys this before we did some touring before a couple years ago and you're in a van and a lot of time we're talking and like I'm still working on lawyeringly lawyerly stuff in the morning or whatever but every day we would pick a different topic driving between cities and talk and I would say I'll take either side whatever side you want me to take if you're you know whatever you think you are and I'll argue the
00:28:47.000other side whatever it is so typically it was me arguing the conservative side
00:28:51.000yeah um and and and every time it was sort of a backseat lawyer
00:28:55.000uh yes constantly that sounds like fun oh sure it was great not arguing about
00:28:59.000turn signals but he's arguing about mens rea and uh and so then you know but it was respect
00:29:06.000It was respect and a learning and an openness that you're in consider.
00:29:09.000And that was a thing that allowed us to have that common bond.
00:29:12.000And then we would bond over, you know, White Castle at two in the morning in Louisville, because that was open.
00:29:17.000And in music, as you're playing in a band sort of context, you can be impressed with each other.
00:29:22.000So you can watch somebody do something they're very skilled at and just be able to be wowed by somebody, even if you have, again, different political views, different religious views.
00:29:30.000But that also comes down to temperament.
00:29:31.000Because some people will see someone else who is successful, and I think that's a big difference between leftists and conservatives in a lot of ways.
00:29:38.000When I see someone who's a billionaire, when I see someone who's very wealthy, I don't get mad at them.
00:29:42.000I don't think they must have screwed someone.
00:31:12.000But I will say this too, when you talk about mutual respect, if you find someone who's excellent at something, someone who's kind of good at something, but not really, and you want to sort of sit at their feet and learn, they often try to make it seem like it's something you can't do.
00:31:26.000Someone who is a master, someone who is genuinely good and accomplished and knows that they are one of the best, they're usually actually pretty happy to try and impart that wisdom with someone else.
00:31:59.000And they want to make it seem like there's some barrier to entry.
00:32:02.000And that's because people who are really good, the language they speak is respect.
00:32:07.000If you show appreciation and respect to someone rather than jealousy, and this applies to people who run successful businesses, people who have successful marriages, in most cases there are exceptions to the rule.
00:32:18.000People who are excellent, they want to see other people be excellent because they're kind of in a league of their own.
00:32:24.000And let me end it with this before we tell YouTube to take a hike for people who are Mug Club members.
00:32:28.000Of course, this continues behind the paywall at livewithcredit.com slash Mug Club.
00:32:32.000My grandfather was a full colonel in the Air Force.
00:32:34.000He would have been general, but he didn't have a high school, he didn't have a college degree.
00:32:36.000I don't even know if he had a high school degree.
00:32:38.000And he was a guy who trained all of the fighter pilots, basically, all the elite kind of fighter pilots in the Air Force.