Louder with Crowder - May 09, 2022


Leftists Prove Why They Should Not Have Babies | Louder with Crowder


Episode Stats

Length

49 minutes

Words per Minute

152.85806

Word Count

7,541

Sentence Count

881

Misogynist Sentences

71

Hate Speech Sentences

28


Summary

It's Mother's Day and Gerald B. is still at home with his newborn son, so of course, he's getting a free cat bath. Also, we talk about how women should or shouldn't be on maternity leave.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 I have one. Duncan, jerk.
00:00:01.000 Much more one. Duncan, jerk.
00:00:02.000 Duncan, jerk.
00:00:03.000 Duncan, jerk.
00:00:04.000 Mr. Duncan.
00:00:05.000 Duncan, jerk.
00:00:06.000 Take it right. Duncan, jerk.
00:00:07.000 I broke you in. Duncan, jerk.
00:00:08.000 Mr. Duncan, jerk.
00:00:09.000 I have one. Duncan, jerk.
00:00:10.000 Take it right. Duncan, jerk.
00:00:11.000 And I found out. Duncan, jerk.
00:00:12.000 Come on!
00:00:13.000 Mr. Mitchell.
00:00:14.000 Mr. Duncan is my own man.
00:00:17.000 This week in Feminism.
00:00:24.000 So when I came back from the tattoo parlor and my boyfriend didn't like my spacers or my nose piercing or my bowl cut,
00:00:34.000 then he's dating someone else.
00:00:38.000 patriarchy.
00:00:40.000 You're a stranger in my life, that's what I know.
00:01:09.000 You're a stranger, I've got to follow.
00:01:15.000 This is a meeting.
00:01:16.000 This is a meeting.
00:01:33.000 All right.
00:01:34.000 Good morning, everyone.
00:01:36.000 That was disgusting.
00:01:37.000 Ahoy, everybody.
00:01:38.000 I don't know what is in there, but thanks, guys.
00:01:41.000 I hope it makes me ill.
00:01:43.000 Okay.
00:01:44.000 Welcome to the show, everyone.
00:01:46.000 As always, we have a lot of fun people here, and it is a live show Monday through Thursday, 10 a.m.
00:01:53.000 We're on Rumble.
00:01:55.000 We're on all kinds of places where you can find podcasts.
00:01:58.000 We're on Mug Club, YouTube.
00:02:01.000 Of course, you might get thrown off, so go to everything else I just mentioned.
00:02:06.000 And other than that, how about a question of the day?
00:02:10.000 How did you celebrate Mother's Birthing persons day.
00:02:15.000 Yeah, that's right.
00:02:16.000 It's a whole new thing.
00:02:18.000 Go ahead and leave your comment.
00:02:20.000 I drove to Detroit and shit on my mom's grave.
00:02:23.000 So, that was the way to make it work.
00:02:28.000 I feel there's... I'm just glad that men can take everything away from women now.
00:02:33.000 So as long as you can... And the best person who has the best response of what you did on Birthing Persons Day, you get a free cat bath from Gerald A. So it's gonna be very exciting.
00:02:48.000 Cat bath.
00:02:49.000 It's gonna be good.
00:02:50.000 Speaking of which, Speaking of people on maternity leave, who shouldn't be, Gerald B. is here, because Gerald A. is not, still at home, breastfeeding his son, and then we- Chestfeeding.
00:03:06.000 Chestfeeding, I mean, right, because he doesn't use his, really, he's got the De Niro tube.
00:03:13.000 Push it in, twist to lock.
00:03:19.000 And of course we have, I'm going to call him Psychologist Kevin.
00:03:23.000 Morning, sir.
00:03:24.000 Hey, how are you?
00:03:25.000 Welcome to the show.
00:03:25.000 Better now.
00:03:26.000 How are you?
00:03:27.000 Good.
00:03:27.000 We got Casey Basem.
00:03:29.000 Good morning.
00:03:29.000 Hey, good morning.
00:03:30.000 And of course, Tim the Tool Man, as always.
00:03:32.000 Good morning, Dave.
00:03:33.000 Good morning to you, my friend.
00:03:35.000 And a very special ahoy to one of my good friends and favorite people, Crawdaddy.
00:03:39.000 Thank you, David.
00:03:41.000 Good to see you.
00:03:41.000 Thank you for coming.
00:03:42.000 Kind of a bare-bones crew today.
00:03:44.000 Yeah, we got it very slim.
00:03:46.000 How many kids did Gerald have, do we know?
00:03:48.000 I mean, he's been gone a while.
00:03:49.000 I believe he had just one, but boy, his maternity leave is something special, isn't it?
00:03:54.000 It really is.
00:03:55.000 Yeah, he really takes advantage of a situation.
00:03:58.000 If a woman did it, he'd be mouthy about it.
00:04:01.000 That's true.
00:04:02.000 But boy, can he hypocrite at home, can't he?
00:04:05.000 He can't.
00:04:06.000 Probably sitting around, talking to his newborn, misquoting scripture.
00:04:13.000 Very exciting stuff.
00:04:16.000 More exciting news.
00:04:16.000 So leave your comments.
00:04:17.000 It helps our algorithm.
00:04:19.000 And Stephen Crowder, he's not in today.
00:04:21.000 He's doing something special for you guys.
00:04:22.000 I think you're going to enjoy when he puts that together.
00:04:25.000 And we are going to be in Tulsa this Saturday.
00:04:28.000 So that's pretty sweet.
00:04:30.000 Right there.
00:04:31.000 Go ahead to louderwithcrowder.com slash tour and you can also see me solo May 29th at Fuel Fest in Gaylord, Michigan.
00:04:39.000 Gaylord, Michigan.
00:04:44.000 What is Fuel Fest?
00:04:45.000 Fuel Fest is a new thing.
00:04:47.000 I guess they won a lawsuit against the state for forcing them to shut down over mask mandates.
00:04:55.000 So this is like a celebration they're having as kind of a middle finger to the Governor Whitmer.
00:05:02.000 Sweet.
00:05:02.000 And I'm proud of it.
00:05:05.000 I'm proud to be a part of it.
00:05:07.000 I flub my words because I used to do drugs.
00:05:13.000 We also, uh, also the 27th and 28th of May, I will be at Big Al's in Emily, Minnesota.
00:05:19.000 And I'm on a new app that I just want to talk about real quick.
00:05:22.000 It's called Shout Out.
00:05:23.000 There's really cool people on it.
00:05:25.000 You have like Dean Cain, you have, there's a, have you seen it at all?
00:05:28.000 He's hunky.
00:05:29.000 He is hunky.
00:05:30.000 America's hunkiest Superman I've always seen.
00:05:32.000 And the most, one that can walk the most.
00:05:34.000 That's true.
00:05:39.000 But there's a lot of great people on there and you can get a happy birthday.
00:05:42.000 Yours are the best.
00:05:43.000 Thank you.
00:05:44.000 They're so fun to watch.
00:05:45.000 I really like doing them for people.
00:05:47.000 So I did a lot of fun Mother's Day ones and yeah, go on there.
00:05:51.000 It's only a couple bucks and I'd like to wish you a happy birthday.
00:05:56.000 Or happy birthing person's day because the world is smart.
00:06:02.000 Speaking of... Everything makes sense.
00:06:07.000 Honestly, when I think about my mom, glad she's dead.
00:06:10.000 Like, why would you want to live in this time?
00:06:13.000 I can't.
00:06:14.000 I wouldn't even know how to explain it to her.
00:06:15.000 I'd be like, yeah, I can give birth now.
00:06:18.000 Even people that have only been gone a few years, if they were to come alive today, they wouldn't believe it.
00:06:23.000 No, at all.
00:06:24.000 Like if you died in like 07, you wouldn't know what to do.
00:06:30.000 You'd be like, whatever.
00:06:30.000 You'd get Martin Luther King coming back.
00:06:32.000 No, somebody just a few years, you know.
00:06:34.000 Even Martin Luther King would come back and go, hey guys, not what I meant.
00:06:37.000 That's right, exactly.
00:06:41.000 Just disappointed.
00:06:43.000 I watch a lot of Netflix, I'm not gonna lie.
00:06:45.000 Do you watch any?
00:06:48.000 You know, I don't normally, but I just did.
00:06:50.000 We were just talking about this.
00:06:51.000 Casey and I were just talking about a movie I watched on there.
00:06:54.000 Had never seen the other guys.
00:06:56.000 Can't believe it.
00:06:56.000 So funny.
00:06:58.000 So quotable.
00:06:59.000 My wife was howling.
00:07:01.000 That's not a movie the gals would normally go to, but it was a lot of fun.
00:07:05.000 I think the Rock and Sam Jackson jumping to their death is probably the funniest thing.
00:07:10.000 Aim for the bushes.
00:07:10.000 Aim for the bushes.
00:07:11.000 What were you thinking?
00:07:14.000 It wasn't even annoying.
00:07:16.000 Homeless people just keep having sex in Will Ferrell's Prius.
00:07:22.000 Such a good movie.
00:07:23.000 I know I've ruined two parts, but not the film.
00:07:25.000 I promise.
00:07:25.000 It's punchline after punchline.
00:07:27.000 I need to know who that woman is.
00:07:28.000 It's my wife.
00:07:30.000 No, I need to know.
00:07:30.000 Who is she?
00:07:32.000 I would not accept that Eva Mendez was his wife.
00:07:35.000 Anyway.
00:07:36.000 How did you get that?
00:07:37.000 I don't get it.
00:07:38.000 He's a pimp named Gator.
00:07:39.000 That's my Netflix.
00:07:40.000 That's what I did.
00:07:41.000 Well, there's a lot of things on there now about how people tend to get, you know, all sorts of jams, if you will, on dating apps.
00:07:50.000 And I guess I've never been a dating app person.
00:07:53.000 I met... You were married through the dating app era.
00:07:56.000 Yeah, I never dated in the dating app era.
00:07:59.000 So there's a new documentary out there.
00:08:02.000 It's still very popular.
00:08:03.000 I guess it's been out for a little while, but it's still like in the top 10.
00:08:07.000 And I finally watched it.
00:08:08.000 It's called The Tinder Swindler.
00:08:09.000 Let's take a look.
00:08:14.000 When I first talked with Simon, immediately we had a bond.
00:08:21.000 He was smart and funny and very impulsive.
00:08:24.000 I shared my whole heart with him.
00:08:27.000 And then he asked me if I wanted to travel with him on a private jet.
00:08:31.000 I was like... He took me to a five-star hotel.
00:08:35.000 He said we had a special connection.
00:08:37.000 It felt like stepping into a movie.
00:08:39.000 And then in the middle of the night... He said there was something he wants to tell me.
00:08:47.000 He said he has threats against him.
00:08:50.000 Wow!
00:08:50.000 He needs our cash.
00:08:52.000 $20,000.
00:08:54.000 $30,000.
00:08:55.000 $140,000.
00:08:57.000 His life depended on me.
00:08:58.000 That's when police tell me the man I love was never real.
00:09:05.000 Wow.
00:09:07.000 When a billionaire asks for $20,000, that might be a hint.
00:09:11.000 What's with all the drone city shots?
00:09:16.000 Now that's the new screen wipe.
00:09:17.000 Have you noticed?
00:09:18.000 Boom!
00:09:19.000 And we're going over the top of the buildings.
00:09:20.000 Boom!
00:09:21.000 It really is.
00:09:21.000 It just means you couldn't afford footage.
00:09:24.000 You had to buy it all.
00:09:28.000 He asked me, he's billionaire, we went in plane and he asked me for $100,000.
00:09:33.000 I was like, sure, I'll loan to you.
00:09:36.000 And then he turned out his name is not Dan.
00:09:40.000 Wow.
00:09:41.000 Good story.
00:09:43.000 Very dumb.
00:09:43.000 Where is the set?
00:09:44.000 What was that accent?
00:09:46.000 Uh, Stupidville.
00:09:48.000 Okay.
00:09:50.000 I couldn't tell by the multiple cityscape screen wipes.
00:09:54.000 I guess he travels all over the place.
00:09:56.000 Yeah, the screen wipe seems to be a shot from Ninja Turtles, but otherwise I don't know.
00:10:02.000 It is different countries.
00:10:03.000 You recognize the manhole covers from above?
00:10:05.000 Yes, exactly.
00:10:07.000 Well, there's actually another one coming out now.
00:10:10.000 This is interesting.
00:10:11.000 This is about an app.
00:10:12.000 It's actually for men who are dating in the homosexual community.
00:10:17.000 And this one is called the Grindr Denier.
00:10:25.000 You can get a little bit of anything you want on Grindr.
00:10:29.000 From fascias to admirers to people who claim to have never been on it.
00:10:37.000 Alright, so get this.
00:10:38.000 I was walking through downtown Chicago, Bird Sanctuary, 3am in the morning, you know, like normal folk do, and this guy just pops out of nowhere.
00:10:47.000 He says that if I don't give him 10,000 bucks, he's gonna tell my entire family that we, uh, met up on Grindr and had, uh, intercourse in the parakeet den.
00:10:57.000 So, did you end up paying him?
00:10:59.000 I had to.
00:11:01.000 Somehow he'd made this entire Grindr profile that only I knew the password to.
00:11:08.000 So I went on to Grindr because I thought it was an app about hard work.
00:11:12.000 You know, motivational, like grinding it out.
00:11:15.000 Yes, I am Brian Stelter.
00:11:18.000 The real Brian Stelter.
00:11:19.000 But you guys aren't going to use my real name, right?
00:11:22.000 And you pinky promise that you'll blur out my face?
00:11:25.000 Great.
00:11:26.000 Anyway, next thing you know, this guy messages me about meeting him on a construction site to show me how hard he could work me.
00:11:34.000 Seem legit.
00:11:35.000 Now I can talk about how I keep getting robbed at all-male swingers clubs.
00:11:39.000 Next thing you know, I'm giving him $500 to do unmentionable things.
00:11:44.000 Here comes the meat choo-choo.
00:11:48.000 I need my money back.
00:11:49.000 Someone needs to find this blackmailer.
00:11:52.000 Make him give me back my $10,000.
00:11:53.000 Oh, huh.
00:11:56.000 There's a reminder.
00:11:58.000 I think I might know where he is.
00:11:59.000 I'm gonna go have a word with him.
00:12:01.000 A whole mouthful.
00:12:03.000 Yeah, I paid him $500 for oral services rendered, because I appreciate hard work.
00:12:10.000 How is that prostitution?
00:12:12.000 What are you, nuts?
00:12:12.000 What, would I go on a show admitting to paying for a male prostitute?
00:12:18.000 Only I knew the password.
00:12:20.000 Only I had those pictures of my penis.
00:12:22.000 Yeah, you gotta tell all my masseuses to stop lying over here.
00:12:25.000 That's perjury!
00:12:27.000 Slander!
00:12:28.000 You even talk to them, have you?
00:12:30.000 Make sure you cut them out of the specials.
00:12:34.000 Me?
00:12:34.000 Gay?
00:12:35.000 I don't think so.
00:12:36.000 Actually, I'm extremely heterosexual.
00:12:40.000 But I do go to the gay clubs.
00:12:42.000 Only because I like the buffets.
00:12:45.000 Yeah, that's great and everything, but what about when you were found unconscious at a LGBTQ nightclub called The Rest Area?
00:12:54.000 I went there because I heard they had marvelous stuffed crust pizza.
00:12:58.000 It turned out they didn't.
00:13:02.000 I was in the bathroom when a flame twirler knocked me out with one of his batons.
00:13:06.000 And then a Diana Ross impersonator stole my Crocs.
00:13:11.000 It was the worst night of my life.
00:13:13.000 I mean, yeah, I guess.
00:13:16.000 Haunting stuff. Haunting.
00:13:30.000 Well, they need a nap, too, Dave.
00:13:32.000 I mean, come on.
00:13:32.000 Yeah, it's true.
00:13:33.000 It's a shame people get ripped off on them.
00:13:36.000 I guess Brian Stelters uses it to get food, but, you know, you never know.
00:13:40.000 You never know what you're going to walk into.
00:13:43.000 Speaking of... Poor Stelter.
00:13:45.000 Yeah, poor guy.
00:13:47.000 I mean, really.
00:13:47.000 He's just a good-looking anchor.
00:13:53.000 This is true.
00:13:54.000 Yeah.
00:13:54.000 Handsome.
00:13:56.000 Charismatic?
00:13:58.000 Where would you think he'll land after CNN?
00:14:00.000 We know that's coming soon.
00:14:03.000 The White House.
00:14:03.000 And push back into the ocean?
00:14:07.000 The White House.
00:14:09.000 Press Secretary.
00:14:12.000 I think you're right.
00:14:14.000 Where else is he going to go?
00:14:16.000 That's exactly where they go.
00:14:18.000 They just get recycled.
00:14:21.000 Endless Empathy or White House.
00:14:24.000 We just need you to embarrass us and be the secretary, paint your nails.
00:14:29.000 Speaking of CNN, Jim Acosta, I don't know if you know this, is a hero.
00:14:35.000 On Saturday, Jim Acosta tweeted something terribly bigoted and he doesn't even know it.
00:14:43.000 He wrote this.
00:14:44.000 Ran into an Afghan refugee in the elevator today.
00:14:47.000 He was delivering groceries.
00:14:49.000 Didn't know which buttons to push, so I helped.
00:14:53.000 Must have been new.
00:14:55.000 As he got off the elevator, he thanked me and said, I am Afghan.
00:15:01.000 I said, good luck and welcome to America.
00:15:05.000 He smiled.
00:15:07.000 He's on his way.
00:15:09.000 How did he know which button to push?
00:15:11.000 Right.
00:15:12.000 How is he helping?
00:15:13.000 He didn't know the numbers.
00:15:15.000 Yeah.
00:15:15.000 How does he know what room to find?
00:15:19.000 I'll take shit that never happened, Alex.
00:15:21.000 Oh, you win?
00:15:22.000 500, yeah.
00:15:24.000 Unbelievable.
00:15:25.000 He can't figure out 1 through 10, but then he's like, he gets upstairs, he's like, this is 438, where they ordered this entire thing.
00:15:32.000 How does Acosta know he was a refugee?
00:15:36.000 Unbelievable.
00:15:37.000 These people.
00:15:38.000 He can work a GPS, but he gets in an elevator and he's like, I don't know!
00:15:45.000 What is this time box?
00:15:46.000 Do I travel?
00:15:47.000 Is it also Arabic numerals?
00:15:52.000 Our number system is based on Arabic numerals.
00:15:55.000 If he's Arabic, he's gonna know what it means.
00:15:58.000 He's not gonna stand there confused.
00:16:00.000 Like he just got to the country, illegally I guess, according to Acosta, and got a job at DoorDash and just sat confused.
00:16:12.000 He knows how to count his tips.
00:16:14.000 He corrected Acosta, explained to him that it's a lift in the UK, not an elevator.
00:16:19.000 He seemed sharp.
00:16:21.000 It's like he had been here and just had a slight accent.
00:16:25.000 Yeah, he had a license to do it.
00:16:27.000 License to drive, but he didn't have the numbers.
00:16:29.000 Yeah, he was able to read an odometer, but boy, when it came to that elevator, really threw him off.
00:16:37.000 Acosta just saw a brown guy, he's like, oh, he must be after this.
00:16:40.000 The numbers are literally stacked on the wall.
00:16:43.000 Yeah, he's like, oh man, that 1 through 10 thing throws me.
00:16:46.000 There is no 13.
00:16:47.000 I don't know what to do.
00:16:48.000 I don't know.
00:16:49.000 I've never measured a fence.
00:16:51.000 Acosta not only made up a ridiculous story of virtue signal, but he made it horribly bigoted.
00:16:59.000 So good for you, Acosta.
00:17:00.000 You're an idiot.
00:17:03.000 CNN actually, you know, their Plus app, it officially did shut down after one month, which is really, that's special numbers.
00:17:13.000 It's amazing.
00:17:14.000 But after 30 days, I started watching them lower the price.
00:17:17.000 At first it was like, it's only nine bucks.
00:17:19.000 Then they're like, it's $2.99.
00:17:21.000 Then they're like, we'll give you a dollar.
00:17:25.000 And there was questions as to whether or not some of their programming would live on.
00:17:32.000 Look at that.
00:17:34.000 Inside sources at CNN leaked to us that they had a ton of programming in the works that'll never see the light of day.
00:17:41.000 Some of them even sitcoms.
00:17:43.000 Here are 7 plus 1 failed CNN plus pilots You'll forgot to burn in the chamber. There's always one in
00:17:57.000 the chamber Always forget that one.
00:18:01.000 Crawdaddy, can you help me out?
00:18:03.000 We're gonna do this.
00:18:03.000 Number seven!
00:18:05.000 To hire a predator.
00:18:10.000 Because there's a lot of them there.
00:18:12.000 If you look it up, it's... Wow!
00:18:17.000 Number six, Crawdaddy!
00:18:19.000 How I met your bicurious zither.
00:18:21.000 What?
00:18:23.000 That's a, from what I understand, it's a bicarious mother-father parent.
00:18:28.000 Oh, okay.
00:18:28.000 Queer.
00:18:30.000 It's just, I'm not making it up.
00:18:31.000 That's literally the definition.
00:18:33.000 Everything's stupid.
00:18:33.000 Yes, that's correct.
00:18:35.000 Five, Brian Stelter actually would have had a new show on there.
00:18:38.000 It's called Straight Eye for the Queer Guy.
00:18:45.000 I thought he just liked the stuff crusts.
00:18:50.000 Number four, Crawdaddy.
00:18:53.000 Naked and Afraid, Kids Edition.
00:18:56.000 What?
00:18:57.000 Unbelievable.
00:18:58.000 That's not good programming at all.
00:19:00.000 No, I don't think so.
00:19:01.000 I mean, they, you know, they're just throwing stuff against the wall with sticks.
00:19:08.000 I just realized what that meant.
00:19:12.000 It's not a wall.
00:19:14.000 All right, so number, let's see where we're at.
00:19:17.000 Number three.
00:19:19.000 Cuomo Brothers, The Bachelorette, Stromboli Island.
00:19:26.000 They're not bachelors, but they certainly pretend they are for the show.
00:19:30.000 Number two, Crawdaddy.
00:19:35.000 Hal Sharpton learns to read.
00:19:39.000 And now that the network's gone under, he's never going to.
00:19:43.000 That was gonna be a big thing for him.
00:19:46.000 Poor guy.
00:19:47.000 Yeah, I know, right?
00:19:48.000 He's just never gonna get those words.
00:19:50.000 Is he a better reader than Biden, though?
00:19:54.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:19:55.000 I think so.
00:19:56.000 I mean, Biden's got an earpiece and still, he can't even repeat back words.
00:20:03.000 Salute the troops.
00:20:06.000 Stop it, Lloyd Bridges.
00:20:08.000 Good lord.
00:20:11.000 This says, number one, Don Lemon actually has his version of Shark Tank.
00:20:17.000 It's called Shark Taint.
00:20:21.000 And that's where instead of pitching ideas, he just pinches your taint.
00:20:26.000 It's kind of different.
00:20:29.000 Oh, we also do have a plus one.
00:20:31.000 What was I thinking?
00:20:32.000 What?
00:20:32.000 Yeah, that's right.
00:20:33.000 There's always one.
00:20:34.000 There's always one.
00:20:35.000 The Sticky Situation Room with Jeffrey Toobin.
00:20:41.000 I'm sad that this isn't gonna make the air.
00:20:43.000 How about you?
00:20:46.000 I'm waiting for that stinger.
00:20:46.000 We've got to get out of this.
00:20:48.000 I would at least watch Al Sharpton's to read.
00:20:59.000 There's always one in the chamber.
00:21:01.000 Al Sharpton.
00:21:03.000 Good guy.
00:21:05.000 Hook it on Pahonix.
00:21:07.000 I originally had Al Sharpton verse food.
00:21:09.000 I said that'd be fun if he got heavy again.
00:21:15.000 I miss heavy Al.
00:21:16.000 He's funnier.
00:21:17.000 And he rhymed better.
00:21:18.000 That's true.
00:21:20.000 Like whenever every pound he lost he rhymed a little bit worse.
00:21:23.000 And for a guy who's not good at reading, great at rhyming.
00:21:27.000 That's pretty good.
00:21:30.000 Well, he's not grandstanding on TV like he does in the streets.
00:21:33.000 That's true.
00:21:34.000 Yeah.
00:21:34.000 Yeah, that is very true.
00:21:37.000 I think he's more real on the streets and on CNN when he's reading news, he's like me.
00:21:41.000 Alright!
00:21:47.000 We're talking about this.
00:21:48.000 A man in Texas has an outstanding warrant for burglary of a building.
00:21:55.000 He was caught on camera at a home removing items from a garage before pulling out the lawnmower and knowing both the front and back yards.
00:22:04.000 Here it is.
00:22:07.000 Look at this monster.
00:22:12.000 What are you doing?
00:22:13.000 I'm cutting your lawn.
00:22:15.000 Was he Dennis the Menace?
00:22:16.000 I know!
00:22:18.000 What's he burgling?
00:22:21.000 I think he just got tired of their long grass and was like, I'm doing it myself.
00:22:25.000 Oh, he didn't trim.
00:22:26.000 That's what it is.
00:22:28.000 Had he edged, it wouldn't be a crime.
00:22:31.000 They're watching the footage.
00:22:32.000 They're like, he's actually doing a good job.
00:22:34.000 Is he going to repair the picket fence?
00:22:37.000 That was his next thing.
00:22:39.000 He also stole a hammer and put it back.
00:22:43.000 He's painting the house and the next day he comes back to shingle the roof.
00:22:49.000 This criminal.
00:22:50.000 Well, according to the New York Post, this is the guy, so clearly he was, I'm guessing a PCP.
00:22:59.000 Because I think either that or meth, because he's doing a good job.
00:23:04.000 Clearly he's high.
00:23:05.000 I'm just guessing by the bird's nest on top of his head.
00:23:09.000 I think there's a woodpecker in it.
00:23:13.000 I'd put my money on meth.
00:23:15.000 Just unaware that it was nighttime.
00:23:17.000 An inappropriate time to be mowing.
00:23:19.000 But that seems like a good time if you're on meth to cut your lawn.
00:23:23.000 You know, it's not a daytime activity when you're on crank.
00:23:28.000 And as you know, Dave, a lot of these neighborhoods, not real good homeowners associations.
00:23:32.000 No, they're not.
00:23:33.000 This guy's just trying to take it upon himself.
00:23:35.000 He's like, nobody showed up to the Homeowner Association meeting.
00:23:38.000 It's just me and my bag of meth.
00:23:40.000 He probably thought it was his house.
00:23:43.000 Yeah, that's true.
00:23:45.000 He wanted it to be.
00:23:46.000 Yeah, that's true.
00:23:48.000 He was just going to go and kill everyone.
00:23:51.000 I was going to put in an offer, man.
00:23:54.000 I want you to move.
00:23:55.000 Let's make it pretty.
00:23:57.000 The officers arrived at the home and chased the suspect, who pulled the lawnmower behind him before ditching it in an alley nearby.
00:24:05.000 There you go.
00:24:07.000 That's him again.
00:24:08.000 And continuing the escape.
00:24:10.000 It's important to note in the full tape, the guy actually doesn't ever steal anything.
00:24:16.000 And I'm not sure if he was even stealing the lawnmower or just scared and carrying the lawnmower with him until it was too heavy to hop a fence.
00:24:23.000 It's tough to get away with a self-propelled lawnmower pulling against you.
00:24:26.000 It really is, yeah.
00:24:27.000 You can't get a lot of momentum.
00:24:28.000 There's no way he let go of it where he wasn't just holding the handle down.
00:24:33.000 It's spinning the wheels.
00:24:39.000 He's got a leaf blower in one hand.
00:24:41.000 He just forgot he had it.
00:24:43.000 I know.
00:24:44.000 We're getting foreplay to a home invasion.
00:24:48.000 It's just, you know, we're gonna make it nice this time.
00:24:50.000 Yeah, that's true.
00:24:51.000 Yeah, he's waiting for his friends.
00:24:52.000 He's like, we are gonna tie everybody up, but you know, let's make it nice.
00:24:57.000 We'll go inside.
00:24:58.000 I love how he gingerly takes the fence picket and just puts it where it is.
00:25:04.000 I was gonna line it up, but that's good enough.
00:25:06.000 He didn't just kick it out of the way and continue to mow, now he put it where it belongs.
00:25:12.000 There's a kidnapping, and also they left some feng shui.
00:25:18.000 I mean, the room looks gorgeous, but... It feels wonderful.
00:25:20.000 Yeah.
00:25:22.000 I had no idea how big it could look.
00:25:26.000 You saw the video.
00:25:27.000 He actually put gas in the mower before he started mowing.
00:25:31.000 Did he check the oil?
00:25:35.000 He probably just huffed it.
00:25:37.000 Yeah, look, so he's taking it out.
00:25:41.000 He's putting gas in there.
00:25:42.000 That's amazing.
00:25:44.000 What a gentleman.
00:25:45.000 He brought his own.
00:25:46.000 It's not even theirs.
00:25:48.000 Hey, price of gas now?
00:25:50.000 He's like, this is very expensive.
00:25:52.000 He's like, if I'm gonna cut your lawn, I'm gonna do it right.
00:25:55.000 It's $4 a gallon.
00:25:57.000 Please.
00:25:59.000 He just didn't pick up the trimming, so it's a crime.
00:26:01.000 Yeah.
00:26:04.000 Well, I say this man is not a criminal, and if you want to break into my garage and cut my lawn once a week, I'll give you like 30 bucks.
00:26:16.000 Somebody ought to tip him.
00:26:18.000 Yeah, I would just walk down and be like, I don't know what's wrong with you, but here, and thank you.
00:26:22.000 These are times when it would be a blast to be the judge.
00:26:25.000 Wouldn't it?
00:26:26.000 Come on.
00:26:26.000 Wouldn't you have fun with that?
00:26:28.000 I'd love it.
00:26:28.000 I'd be like, have you thought about making it a business as opposed to a crime?
00:26:33.000 I'm going to give you community service to do my lawn for the rest of the season.
00:26:37.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:26:38.000 You do a good job.
00:26:39.000 Yeah, you do very nice.
00:26:40.000 Have you considered doing this for me and the district attorney there?
00:26:44.000 Bailiff, how's your lawn?
00:26:45.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:26:47.000 The courthouse actually needs some gardening.
00:26:49.000 Municipal buildings.
00:26:51.000 Yeah, this is all going to look good.
00:26:52.000 Oh, man.
00:26:53.000 I'm just going to take the fun out, though.
00:26:55.000 Oh, that's true.
00:26:57.000 You mean I can't do meth and just mow anybody's lawn?
00:27:00.000 Or just mow somebody else's lawn?
00:27:02.000 Yeah, I'm sure like the fourth lawn, once it's too much meth, it's just a train wreck.
00:27:10.000 You see like the crop circles in the front?
00:27:14.000 That's how the crop circles actually happen.
00:27:16.000 He's just cutting himself with a lawnmower blade.
00:27:18.000 I don't like this guy.
00:27:19.000 I don't know, just tip him and tell him to leave.
00:27:21.000 I'm not going out there.
00:27:22.000 Let him do what he wants.
00:27:24.000 He's the Batman of home maintenance.
00:27:28.000 Yeah, he's always great at mowing until he's picking invisible mites off his skin.
00:27:33.000 Other than that, yeah, A+.
00:27:37.000 Yeah, they should give him a nice haircut.
00:27:39.000 Get him a little truck for his friend's lawnmower or whatever house that was.
00:27:46.000 Good for him.
00:27:47.000 I say, good for you.
00:27:50.000 Innocent.
00:27:51.000 Cheers.
00:27:51.000 Absolutely.
00:27:54.000 Well, I'm sure you guys have heard about this.
00:27:56.000 There was a Roe v. Wade leak.
00:28:01.000 And it continues to escalate.
00:28:03.000 And naturally, celebrities have been more than eager to share their expert opinions.
00:28:10.000 Look at that.
00:28:11.000 We got George Takei, Roseanne, Arquette, and Carrot Top.
00:28:17.000 I think that was Kathy Griffin.
00:28:20.000 I'm sure it is.
00:28:21.000 I'm sure it's Kathy Griffin.
00:28:23.000 She looks like a used mop.
00:28:25.000 Oh, she should change her name to Carrot Bottom.
00:28:27.000 Laughter.
00:28:31.000 Ugh. Anyway, and Kathy Griffin... are among a host of celebrities... sorry, dry heaved... who have spoken out.
00:28:44.000 In fact, it looks like Michael Moore already has a new movie out called Roe v. and Me.
00:28:49.000 me. I love...
00:29:02.000 Pizza, ham, doughnuts filled with cream.
00:29:08.000 I love food.
00:29:10.000 Burgers, fries, and tacos fill up my dreams.
00:29:16.000 And I know it's true.
00:29:19.000 The commercials are seldom what they seem.
00:29:24.000 That's why I make reviews, I review food for you.
00:29:30.000 I'll try anything once, but usually way more than once.
00:29:36.000 Especially things filled with cream.
00:29:43.000 It's just Michael Moore singing about food, David.
00:29:45.000 Yeah, that doesn't have anything to do with Rover's weight.
00:29:48.000 Nothing, absolutely nothing.
00:29:49.000 Should he even eat like that?
00:29:52.000 He's got to have type 2, right?
00:29:54.000 At minimum.
00:29:55.000 Yeah.
00:29:56.000 How does he have two legs, as you would say?
00:29:58.000 I don't know.
00:29:58.000 I guess... It's interesting that that's the trailer for the movie and it has nothing to do with Robey weight.
00:30:09.000 No, none.
00:30:09.000 Well, I guess Flint water is good for something.
00:30:12.000 Hmm.
00:30:13.000 That's where he lives.
00:30:20.000 And also, I am from Michigan, and we have apologized for Michael Moore on many occasions.
00:30:30.000 Okay.
00:30:33.000 I'm just not a fan.
00:30:35.000 I liked Roger and me.
00:30:36.000 And then after that, it was just...
00:30:41.000 A lot of that was fake, too.
00:30:43.000 Was it really?
00:30:44.000 That's too bad.
00:30:45.000 Do you remember when he went to the Grosse Pointe Yacht Club to try to find Roger from GM?
00:30:51.000 Oh yeah, I do.
00:30:52.000 He was never a member there.
00:30:53.000 Was he not?
00:30:54.000 No, it was just a big symbol of opulence and wealth that he's sitting in there having a cigar.
00:31:00.000 They would go and just looking around.
00:31:01.000 Oh, he's not here.
00:31:02.000 Come on.
00:31:02.000 I mean, that's just it's cheap theatrics, right?
00:31:05.000 And what's funny is it's not like the Grosse Pointe is known to be rich for Michigan and the Detroit area.
00:31:11.000 It's upper middle class anywhere else in the country and all the way to lower middle class, depending on what part you live in.
00:31:19.000 You know, like that.
00:31:20.000 It's not like there's normal boats there.
00:31:22.000 There are some giant yachts and stuff, but they don't really belong to people.
00:31:26.000 Well, it is the place where I mean, the equivalent of today's Gates and Musk live along, I mean, Fords and Dodge families, Fisher body, all these industrialists right back then.
00:31:36.000 But that's not the case anymore.
00:31:38.000 No.
00:31:39.000 But Lakeshore is beautiful.
00:31:40.000 I have friends that live there.
00:31:41.000 Oh, the houses I would do drugs in.
00:31:45.000 That's what's great.
00:31:46.000 That's what's great about rich kids is that a lot of them have Uh, no purpose.
00:31:52.000 And absent parents.
00:31:53.000 Yeah, so you just, you just, you enjoy their company until one day they OD on one of those yachts.
00:31:59.000 Moving on.
00:32:02.000 I wish I was kidding.
00:32:03.000 He went in there looking for him, like I'm trying, like I'm trying to find him and he's not here and he's ducking us.
00:32:08.000 I went, stop.
00:32:09.000 Yeah, that's ridiculous.
00:32:12.000 Yeah, like Charlton Heston was ducking him on the gun issue.
00:32:15.000 He let him in his house.
00:32:16.000 Yeah, and he was shouting to nobody.
00:32:19.000 They're making it look like he ran off, like he was avoiding him.
00:32:22.000 It's like a camera shot where it's just, all right, get me shouting, and then we'll insert Charlton Heston walking away from me.
00:32:30.000 He does these cheap tricks.
00:32:31.000 You know, that was one of the first times that I started questioning any liberal ideology, because that came out when I was in high school.
00:32:39.000 Because I was a senior when Columbine happened, and I was watching it.
00:32:43.000 And they were blaming Kmart for the bullets that was bought.
00:32:46.000 So Michael Moore brings in this kid who's in a wheelchair from Columbine and these other people, talking about who sold him the bullets, and it's like, we're blaming Kmart.
00:32:56.000 Which, by the way, it went out of business, so great job.
00:33:00.000 But why?
00:33:01.000 It had nothing to do with Kmart.
00:33:03.000 It doesn't matter where they bought the bullets.
00:33:05.000 Nothing to do with it.
00:33:06.000 And that's what he's trying to do, is blame... But even as a teenager, you're connecting the dots and realizing the scam.
00:33:12.000 Yeah, all my friends and I were watching and we're like, this guy's just being an ass and exploiting a dude in a wheelchair.
00:33:16.000 It's completely unnecessary.
00:33:19.000 And it's sad what happened with Columbine.
00:33:21.000 And then we had to have school drills where we, uh, it was an alarm system where you would hide under your desk.
00:33:31.000 That's going to help.
00:33:32.000 Oh yeah, it was good.
00:33:33.000 The first time they did it, it was the fire alarm.
00:33:37.000 Were you in school during that?
00:33:40.000 I was in school during... I mean the drills.
00:33:44.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:33:46.000 They just started the drills.
00:33:47.000 Well, it happened in 99.
00:33:49.000 You were a fifth year senior.
00:33:51.000 Yes, I was a fifth-year senior.
00:33:52.000 No, I was a first-year junior, actually, at the time.
00:33:55.000 I was 99.
00:33:56.000 So, yeah, they started doing the drills right after that.
00:33:59.000 And it's like, all right, we're going to pull the fire alarm, because we don't have that alarm yet.
00:34:02.000 Then you get under a desk, and I'm like, well, what if there's a fire?
00:34:07.000 And you confuse alarms.
00:34:08.000 Now it's just kids burning to death.
00:34:10.000 And you're like, well, nobody was shot.
00:34:13.000 It was just such a stupid plan.
00:34:15.000 So I tell you what, I hear bullets, I'm gonna go the other way.
00:34:18.000 Plus, I got a feeling which kids are gonna do it, and I've always been nice to them, so hopefully it's like Elephant, where I'm just gonna walk to my car and I'm like, hey man, remember, I gave you drugs.
00:34:29.000 Alright.
00:34:31.000 And they're shooting all the downed kids and letting you walk to them.
00:34:34.000 Yeah, that's all I... Not that it's a good thing.
00:34:37.000 I'm just saying sometimes there's weird kids and if they ask for a cigarette in the boys' room, give them one.
00:34:43.000 You give it to them?
00:34:44.000 Yeah, you go, here you go, buddy.
00:34:46.000 I see you've cut yourself on your wrist.
00:34:48.000 Well, you guys had to deal with that, you know, the school shooting thing.
00:34:50.000 We had to do the bomb shelter drills where they took us all down to the basement and they would shut off the lights.
00:34:57.000 No talking during the nuclear holocaust, you know.
00:35:00.000 So the whole school could fall on top of you.
00:35:02.000 That's right.
00:35:03.000 Exactly right.
00:35:04.000 Pancake onto the student body.
00:35:06.000 Squish the kids.
00:35:07.000 And a couple times a year we would do that.
00:35:09.000 Really?
00:35:10.000 Yeah, down in the basement.
00:35:11.000 What year?
00:35:12.000 They would shut off the lights.
00:35:13.000 Carlton Elementary School on Casino.
00:35:15.000 You know where that is now?
00:35:15.000 Yeah, I do.
00:35:16.000 Certain Death.
00:35:17.000 I don't think it's there anymore.
00:35:18.000 I think it's still there.
00:35:20.000 Is it still there, Carlton?
00:35:21.000 Yeah.
00:35:22.000 Okay.
00:35:23.000 Pieces of it, or the actual school?
00:35:24.000 The actual school.
00:35:26.000 Between Roxbury and Lake Point.
00:35:28.000 Yeah I know where it is!
00:35:31.000 One of the early busing experiments in the country.
00:35:33.000 Oh really?
00:35:34.000 Oh that's right you said that was one of the first schools that did it.
00:35:37.000 That's crazy.
00:35:38.000 Yeah but they would take us downstairs and then so the kids would learn not to panic it shut off and it was pitch black.
00:35:44.000 Of course that's when kids would bring squirt guns in and you know and then the lights would come back on.
00:35:49.000 It was just it was chaos for the 90 seconds the lights were off.
00:35:53.000 Yeah, we did dumb stuff.
00:35:54.000 Like we had a, uh, we were all drunk at a bar that you could drink at in Detroit because it's Detroit.
00:36:00.000 And we were all about like 16, 17, you know, 18.
00:36:04.000 And we were like, all right, whoever drinks, like gives up on shots first has to go to the pay phone and call in a bomb threat.
00:36:13.000 And they're like, okay, so we're all doing shots.
00:36:15.000 I'm not even worried about this one.
00:36:18.000 So I don't have to do it but my buddy does and he goes across the streets at the pay phone and he gets on it and he calls it in and we're like okay like not not realize and this is a completely fake story uh for any FBI watching um but he comes back he's like yeah he did it we're like oh yeah sure you did whatever the next day we go to school There's, like, robots and bomb-sniffing dogs, and they're putting everybody, like, over to the bleachers, and we're like, oh shit, this just got real.
00:36:48.000 Wow.
00:36:48.000 And we were all hungover, and we're like, what are we gonna do?
00:36:51.000 And we're like, I guess we just- Just watch.
00:36:53.000 Get the rest of the day off, and we just left.
00:36:57.000 But we didn't realize, like, the severity of what we had just done.
00:37:00.000 Because we did it, like, right after Columbine.
00:37:03.000 And they were so on, like, our edge.
00:37:06.000 Because when you're a kid, you don't really get the severity of anything.
00:37:10.000 But, you know, we got a day off, so there is... I guess I'm saying there's a silver lining.
00:37:16.000 Well, pulling a fire alarm was a big deal when I was a kid.
00:37:18.000 That was a big time.
00:37:19.000 But you'd do hard time for that though.
00:37:20.000 They would make an example of you for that one.
00:37:22.000 They got very pissed.
00:37:23.000 Yeah.
00:37:24.000 Then they would ask everybody at the school who did it.
00:37:26.000 Yeah.
00:37:26.000 But my friends and I weren't rats.
00:37:29.000 Until they start to put pressure on...
00:37:32.000 All the kids that somebody becomes a rat.
00:37:34.000 Yeah.
00:37:35.000 As long as it's you and one other guy who can keep a secret, you're like, I have no idea.
00:37:39.000 Yeah.
00:37:39.000 I was in church.
00:37:42.000 Nowadays, you'd be on camera, so there's no getting away with it.
00:37:45.000 Oh, yeah.
00:37:45.000 Well, every school has cameras now.
00:37:47.000 Yeah.
00:37:47.000 It's crazy.
00:37:48.000 So, yeah.
00:37:49.000 Well, speaking of good kids, many protesters broke out over the weekend over the Roe vs. Wade League.
00:37:56.000 This one, however, may have been the most memorable.
00:38:00.000 I mean, she looks great in white at her wedding, but probably not a virgin.
00:38:05.000 I mean, she looks great in white at her wedding, but probably not a virgin.
00:38:10.000 She must be proud.
00:38:20.000 I don't think she knew they were dolls.
00:38:31.000 No, I guess none of them got her anything nice for birth person's day.
00:38:36.000 At least she didn't build a fire and toss them into it.
00:38:39.000 Aborted babies being burned and then used for electricity?
00:38:43.000 I hope they are.
00:38:44.000 She will never get pregnant now.
00:38:50.000 Oh no.
00:38:51.000 Fago soda will prevent that.
00:38:52.000 Give me your feet!
00:39:00.000 I thought they were vegans.
00:39:04.000 But on a serious note, this mob rule mindset is exactly what the Founding Fathers tried to prevent.
00:39:10.000 Here's footage from outside of Chief Justice John Roberts' home, as well as Justice Kavanaugh.
00:39:16.000 Abortion!
00:39:16.000 Rape!
00:39:16.000 Illegal!
00:39:16.000 Abortion!
00:39:16.000 Rape!
00:39:17.000 Illegal!
00:39:17.000 Abortion!
00:39:17.000 Rape!
00:39:17.000 Illegal!
00:39:17.000 Abortion!
00:39:17.000 Rape!
00:39:18.000 Illegal!
00:39:18.000 Abortion!
00:39:18.000 Rape!
00:39:18.000 Illegal!
00:39:18.000 Abortion!
00:39:18.000 Rape!
00:39:18.000 Illegal!
00:39:19.000 Abortion!
00:39:19.000 Rape!
00:39:19.000 Illegal!
00:39:19.000 Abortion!
00:39:19.000 Rape!
00:39:19.000 Illegal!
00:39:20.000 Abortion!
00:39:20.000 Rape!
00:39:20.000 Illegal!
00:39:20.000 Abortion!
00:39:20.000 Rape!
00:39:20.000 Illegal!
00:39:21.000 Abortion!
00:39:21.000 Rape!
00:39:21.000 Illegal!
00:39:21.000 Abortion!
00:39:21.000 Rape!
00:39:21.000 Illegal!
00:39:21.000 Abortion!
00:39:22.000 Rape!
00:39:22.000 Illegal!
00:39:22.000 Abortion!
00:39:22.000 Rape!
00:39:22.000 Illegal!
00:39:22.000 Abortion!
00:39:23.000 Rape!
00:39:23.000 Illegal!
00:39:23.000 Abortion!
00:39:25.000 Rape!
00:39:25.000 Illegal!
00:39:25.000 Abortion!
00:39:25.000 Rape!
00:39:25.000 Illegal!
00:39:25.000 Abortion!
00:39:26.000 Rape!
00:39:26.000 Illegal!
00:39:26.000 Abortion!
00:39:26.000 Rape!
00:39:26.000 Illegal!
00:39:26.000 Abortion!
00:39:28.000 You don't care if people die!
00:39:32.000 You don't care if people die!
00:39:34.000 That's ironic.
00:39:37.000 Right.
00:39:38.000 You're drawing hangers in the street.
00:39:39.000 You think that's the appropriate tool?
00:39:42.000 This kind of proves how Dems don't read anything, since Chief Justice Roberts is likely siding with the left on this one.
00:39:49.000 Look at that.
00:39:50.000 The Supreme Court currently sits at a 6-3 conservative majority, but Roberts has more recently and consistently voted with members of the court that were nominated by Democratic presidents.
00:40:03.000 And Justice Roberts has been the pivotal majority creating liberals in many cases.
00:40:11.000 By the way, recent polls suggest that the Supreme Court leak hasn't moved the needle at all.
00:40:17.000 This topic has given a voice to black conservatives, however, as more people notice black lives only seem to matter when it's convenient.
00:40:29.000 Here's a man shutting down a pro-abortion protest of health care workers just last week.
00:40:35.000 Black lives matter or just some black lives?
00:40:39.000 The black lives killed by black men matter, right?
00:40:43.000 Yes?
00:40:45.000 The black babies killed in the abortion clinics matter, right?
00:40:48.000 Thought so.
00:40:50.000 The black officers killed by that bastard in Minnesota, that matters too, right?
00:40:56.000 Okay.
00:40:56.000 But the black babies that are killed in the abortion clinics don't matter, do they?
00:41:00.000 Medical people.
00:41:02.000 Do their lives matter?
00:41:05.000 Does the future of our black babies matter?
00:41:08.000 Isn't it the truth, though, that they only go and have black people on their side when they need them?
00:41:18.000 That's right.
00:41:19.000 Yeah.
00:41:20.000 You know, they lost.
00:41:23.000 Yeah.
00:41:23.000 The loser doesn't get to mock the winner.
00:41:25.000 No.
00:41:26.000 It's exactly backwards.
00:41:28.000 You don't get to tease the winner that they won.
00:41:30.000 And this victory was 50 years in the making.
00:41:32.000 Done appropriately.
00:41:35.000 Getting the message out there, electing officials, getting officials to appoint the right justices, that if finally, 50 years later, this kind of thing is coming back around.
00:41:44.000 Roe vs. Wade was all just tainted from the beginning.
00:41:47.000 It's unbelievable.
00:41:48.000 This was done correctly.
00:41:49.000 And they're going to trash talk the winners?
00:41:51.000 I mean, there's no teeth in it at all.
00:41:53.000 Well, when you look at it, when it just goes from, you know, giving the power from the government to the states, it's not taking away a right to have an abortion.
00:42:03.000 It's just one of the parts of the law, which, regardless of my opinion or anybody else's opinion, the reaction is absurd.
00:42:12.000 Right.
00:42:13.000 Because this direct reaction is ignorance into believing something that isn't necessarily true.
00:42:20.000 It's this knee-jerk, uneducated reaction And really, so many grotesque ways.
00:42:26.000 I'm eating a baby out of a can.
00:42:28.000 That's funny.
00:42:29.000 Yeah.
00:42:29.000 I mean, it's funny in different contexts.
00:42:32.000 She's serious.
00:42:34.000 Right.
00:42:34.000 Like you said, they don't read anything.
00:42:36.000 No!
00:42:36.000 They're out protesting the guy who's likely going to side with them.
00:42:39.000 Right.
00:42:40.000 They don't get it in macro or micro.
00:42:41.000 They're just all about emotion.
00:42:44.000 They're getting more freedom.
00:42:46.000 Can you imagine being the neighbor trying to get out of the driveway?
00:42:48.000 It's like, guys, I got a job.
00:42:51.000 Could you just move your... I would have thought a Supreme Court Justice would have a nicer crib, though.
00:42:56.000 I know!
00:42:56.000 I was kind of disappointed.
00:42:58.000 Didn't it look like it was off an outer drive in Detroit?
00:43:02.000 Is that the Chief Justice on his front porch?
00:43:04.000 That's weird.
00:43:05.000 Do you sell dime bags out of your carpenter house?
00:43:11.000 Well, let's lighten the mood.
00:43:12.000 Well, not for me, but, you know, for, well, for me, not this guy.
00:43:17.000 I don't know if you've heard this, the man with a penis on his arm is a new Channel 4 British documentary.
00:43:26.000 This is real.
00:43:28.000 Is this Dr. Dr. Nick?
00:43:30.000 Yeah, this is real.
00:43:32.000 He claims he feels like a real man again, though.
00:43:35.000 Here to help explain is our very own Professor Penis.
00:43:40.000 All right.
00:43:50.000 Welcome, Dr. Penis.
00:43:53.000 Oh, thanks for having me back, Professor, though.
00:43:56.000 Oh, right.
00:43:57.000 So... Yeah, it's been a while.
00:43:59.000 Yeah, thanks for bringing me back on.
00:44:01.000 It's my pleasure.
00:44:02.000 Honestly, it's my pleasure.
00:44:03.000 We're happy to have you.
00:44:04.000 Oh, thanks.
00:44:05.000 We need your clarity.
00:44:06.000 Yeah.
00:44:06.000 Oh, yeah.
00:44:07.000 I heard you guys got a kind of a sticky situation here.
00:44:10.000 We do.
00:44:11.000 We have a penis questions.
00:44:13.000 Yeah.
00:44:13.000 And an arm penis, if you will.
00:44:16.000 Yep.
00:44:17.000 And so this man, Pat McGann, a British fella, ended up with a penis on his arm.
00:44:24.000 Yeah, I was one of the chief researchers on this project.
00:44:28.000 I'll flip you by the mic.
00:44:31.000 Flip this over here so you guys can see.
00:44:33.000 Okay, let's take a gander.
00:44:36.000 Now his penis just fell off?
00:44:39.000 Yeah, from drugs.
00:44:40.000 He was doing drugs one day and then it just plopped right off.
00:44:46.000 It's a technical term we use in the research professorial community called kendalling.
00:44:53.000 Oh, okay.
00:44:54.000 I see.
00:44:55.000 Yeah, it's a highly academic term.
00:44:58.000 And then you started a penis transplant?
00:45:00.000 Yeah, so this has been something we've been working on for a long time, but as you can see here, we have... This is where the normal, you know, human penis would be.
00:45:13.000 Right, right.
00:45:14.000 That fell off.
00:45:15.000 Now we've got his arm up here, and this is where we get the penis parts.
00:45:21.000 It's kind of, you know, like fat or veins or other shit, you know, around his body that Sure.
00:45:27.000 How does one actually grow a penis from one's forearm?
00:45:32.000 I think we put it on his forearm.
00:45:36.000 Like Darren asked, how does one grow that?
00:45:38.000 You just take those different fat veins?
00:45:40.000 Yeah, we take fat and skin, roll it up, we put a vein in the middle.
00:45:45.000 We also have a, I mean yeah, you guys can, let's see, I'm gonna put it there.
00:45:51.000 I see.
00:45:52.000 Yeah, normally it's pretty functional besides, you know, erections or any other.
00:45:58.000 It can connect to the bladder?
00:46:00.000 Oh yeah, so we actually took a... It'll be a vein eventually when we, you know, since we moved it, but we ran a...
00:46:09.000 A big tube here and he hides it under his shirt and we put some tape tape on it and connects to where the bladder is down there and so yeah then he can you know it's actually more mobile it's kind of yeah it's a good way to get around I would certainly say but no hydraulics whatsoever There's a, yeah, there'll be a pump now that it's installed.
00:46:33.000 Oh, artificial.
00:46:35.000 So he's got kind of more dribbles out, I would assume?
00:46:37.000 Yeah, he can pump it a little, dribble it, you know, the pump's there if he, you know, wants to become too messant.
00:46:47.000 You know, it's not easy having a wanker growing out of your arm.
00:46:50.000 But it's better, it makes you feel like a man again.
00:46:53.000 It's better than when it just fell off.
00:46:55.000 And I'm not gonna have it.
00:46:56.000 We'll just roll for you guys so you can... yeah.
00:46:59.000 Okay.
00:47:00.000 You know, it's not easy having that wanker growing on your arm,
00:47:03.000 but it's better... it makes you feel like a man again.
00:47:06.000 It's better than when it just fell off.
00:47:08.000 I'm not gonna have it, but it does make certain things inconvenient
00:47:12.000 when you've got a penis on your arm.
00:47:15.000 I'm in the loo, just showing you can have me.
00:47:20.000 Oh I said I'm in the loo!
00:47:29.000 Please stop it.
00:47:30.000 I'm trying to clean with my penis on.
00:47:35.000 No mail today.
00:47:37.000 My arm!
00:47:38.000 Take this!
00:47:40.000 All right, all right.
00:47:41.000 Who wants popcorn?
00:47:42.000 Popcorn?
00:47:43.000 All right.
00:47:44.000 Oh!
00:47:44.000 My armpit hair!
00:47:49.000 Oh!
00:47:49.000 I can only ride my bicycle at night.
00:47:52.000 It's a law because I can't wait for anybody leaving.
00:47:55.000 Which is okay.
00:47:57.000 It's not... Oh!
00:47:57.000 Oh my god, yes!
00:47:59.000 Oh, oh, oh!
00:48:01.000 Oh, oh!
00:48:03.000 That looked extraordinarily sad and painful.
00:48:05.000 sad and painful.
00:48:07.000 I hope he gets it put between his legs soon.
00:48:09.000 Yeah, it's always tough watching a patient, you know, go through all that.
00:48:13.000 Also, sorry, I apologize.
00:48:15.000 The diagram was improperly drawn.
00:48:17.000 I forgot he was British, so he updated the... Oh, thank you, the teeth.
00:48:21.000 I appreciate that.
00:48:22.000 Yeah, I wasn't sure.
00:48:23.000 So, will it be transplanted soon?
00:48:26.000 Yeah, it actually, as we're speaking, I'm pretty sure it has been transplanted.
00:48:30.000 I'm going to go follow up and document that.
00:48:33.000 Really?
00:48:33.000 That's fantastic.
00:48:35.000 Well, thank you so much for coming in, Professor Penis.
00:48:38.000 It's great to see you again.
00:48:40.000 Yeah, no problem.
00:48:40.000 Thanks for having me.
00:48:41.000 This was a blast.
00:48:42.000 My pleasure.
00:48:44.000 ♪ I'm just glad that we have a medical research staff.
00:48:57.000 So if he waves to somebody, he has to register?
00:48:59.000 That's what he said, yeah.
00:49:00.000 He can only ride his bike at night because he could be a registered sex offender.
00:49:11.000 It's my understanding that at a Starbucks once, they called his name and he raised his hand.
00:49:17.000 Did three years.
00:49:20.000 Very sad.