Louder with Crowder - August 10, 2022


The Mainstream Media Declares WAR on Crowder: LFG!!! | Louder with Crowder


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 14 minutes

Words per Minute

166.35568

Word Count

12,363

Sentence Count

1,405

Misogynist Sentences

50

Hate Speech Sentences

30


Summary

Dave Lando is a comedian, stand-up comic, and host of the TV show "Louder With Crowder" and "Comedy Unleashed." He's also known for his appearances on "Live PD" where he was tasered, fighting cops with his pants around his ankles, and being tased after saying, "I love you, Margot. I love you." and "I'm sorry, I'm sorry Margot." And now, he's got a new segment called "MSNBC Calls Out Crowder."


Transcript

00:00:00.000 🎵Outro Music🎵 Ahoy!
00:00:18.000 I'm D-List Celebrity Dave Lando, and you may recognize me from shows such as Louder with Crowder, Comics Unleashed with Byron Allen, and 11 appearances on Margot Robbie's doorbell camera where I'm resisting arrest.
00:00:32.000 Many people have seen me on Live PD with my pants around my ankles, fighting cops and being tased, saying, I love you, Margot.
00:00:41.000 I love you.
00:00:42.000 Well, they say, hey Dave, how do you stay so well groomed?
00:00:46.000 I'll tell you how.
00:00:48.000 Lawnmower Manscaped 4.0.
00:00:50.000 It has a safety shield for my sensitive areas and a light in case I have to shave in the woods in the dark.
00:00:57.000 What?
00:00:57.000 Oh my god.
00:01:00.000 What?
00:01:01.000 Dude!
00:01:02.000 Did you use my monkey pox razor?
00:01:05.000 It's why I switched to this.
00:01:09.000 No.
00:01:10.000 You're covered in monkey pox.
00:01:11.000 You clearly did finnick it!
00:01:13.000 Read the label!
00:01:15.000 I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
00:01:17.000 I'm sorry.
00:01:20.000 You're not going to get away with this!
00:01:22.000 I'm sorry.
00:01:25.000 You're not going to get away with this!
00:01:55.000 White velvet, my deadly sin.
00:01:58.000 At thirty-four, I'm uninsured.
00:02:02.000 My skin is long, my soul is thin.
00:02:06.000 Oh Oh
00:02:18.000 Oh It's all the colors of my world.
00:02:23.000 Trigger warning!
00:02:24.000 We're not dangerous!
00:02:27.000 Hear us cry now!
00:02:30.000 They're defendants!
00:02:31.000 We want control!
00:02:33.000 Execution!
00:02:34.000 Hear us cry now!
00:02:37.000 They're defendants!
00:02:39.000 Homophobia!
00:02:42.000 Patriarchy!
00:02:43.000 It's my culture!
00:02:47.000 Execution!
00:02:48.000 Yeah!
00:02:49.000 Hey Hey
00:02:55.000 Can we all put this to rest?
00:03:09.000 Your love, it makes me feel the best You're one person, you're businessman
00:03:17.000 My wife's my best, word is consent Rainbow, little red light, no, no
00:03:25.000 Shallow, low, and no, me, no Porno, vado, hello, skid row
00:03:33.000 I'm not dangerous!
00:03:34.000 Can't reply now!
00:03:35.000 That's dangerous!
00:03:36.000 We want control!
00:03:37.000 That's censorship!
00:03:45.000 Can't reply now!
00:03:46.000 Use my pronoun!
00:03:50.000 I'm biracial!
00:03:52.000 And transgender!
00:03:55.000 I'm inexactual!
00:03:57.000 I'm the next one in the nation, yeah!
00:04:02.000 Trigger warning!
00:04:12.000 Words are dangerous!
00:04:14.000 Hear us cry now!
00:04:16.000 That offends us!
00:04:18.000 We want control!
00:04:20.000 That censorship!
00:04:22.000 Hear us cry now!
00:04:24.000 That offends us!
00:04:26.000 Homophobia!
00:04:28.000 Patriarchy!
00:04:30.000 Hatred culture!
00:04:32.000 Pesticulture!
00:04:34.000 I'm offended you
00:04:57.000 you you
00:05:47.000 you Mmm.
00:05:50.000 Mmm.
00:05:51.000 Bye.
00:05:53.000 Is that NyQuil or just the Z-Quil?
00:05:55.000 NyQuil, yeah.
00:05:56.000 Good.
00:05:56.000 Full strength stuff.
00:05:57.000 Good.
00:05:58.000 It's a cheat on my alcoholism.
00:06:00.000 All right.
00:06:03.000 Good morning, everybody, and welcome to Louder with Crowder.
00:06:08.000 With Dave.
00:06:10.000 Happy you could join the show.
00:06:12.000 Today we are going to be talking about, this week in Biden of course, we're going to have a little segment there for you, MSM calls out Crowder, which is mainstream media.
00:06:22.000 Don't start nothing.
00:06:23.000 Not Microsoft.
00:06:24.000 Won't be nothing.
00:06:25.000 But they did do that too.
00:06:26.000 They did, yes.
00:06:27.000 Yes, Microsoft.
00:06:28.000 Bill Gates' penis.
00:06:30.000 Now we have...
00:06:32.000 We also have to talk a bit about Woodstock 99, the FBI raid, or whatever word they want to call it now because we're redefining every word imaginable, and also lonely single men on the rise.
00:06:45.000 Good news.
00:06:45.000 Who knew?
00:06:46.000 And on the rise is the double entendre.
00:06:48.000 Hi, Gerald A. How are you doing today?
00:06:48.000 All right!
00:06:50.000 I am doing well, sir.
00:06:51.000 It's good to see you in the chair.
00:06:52.000 I know Stephen's out preparing.
00:06:53.000 We're actually doing a super video.
00:06:56.000 And so he's out doing that today.
00:06:57.000 Thank you.
00:06:57.000 That's going to be a lot of fun.
00:06:58.000 But it's good to see you, sir.
00:06:59.000 It's good to see him in the chair.
00:07:00.000 I don't ever get to see you.
00:07:02.000 I have to look around the monitor to see your beautiful face make fun of me.
00:07:06.000 Yeah, people don't know we're hidden from each other.
00:07:09.000 Well, I can see Stephen.
00:07:10.000 Stephen can see you.
00:07:11.000 But we have contractual obligations that we cannot see each other.
00:07:14.000 Yes, it was due to a fight.
00:07:15.000 Yes.
00:07:16.000 I didn't win.
00:07:20.000 We got Token now, and how you doing today, buddy?
00:07:21.000 Hola.
00:07:22.000 There you go.
00:07:23.000 That doesn't make sense.
00:07:25.000 He's like, I don't know my culture.
00:07:28.000 I don't know Japanese.
00:07:31.000 Case to see Hill, how you doing?
00:07:35.000 Ahoy.
00:07:35.000 Ahoy to you, my friend.
00:07:38.000 I'm trying to get a good nickname for him.
00:07:39.000 I know, right?
00:07:40.000 I've got maestasy pill.
00:07:41.000 My dad used to call me shithead.
00:07:43.000 Okay.
00:07:44.000 That works.
00:07:45.000 From the jerk.
00:07:46.000 Starting it off like that.
00:07:47.000 Well, I don't think your dad was right.
00:07:50.000 Well, it was with love.
00:07:50.000 I think you're a good guy.
00:07:52.000 Was it shithade?
00:07:53.000 Shitheed.
00:07:54.000 Ah.
00:07:55.000 Good.
00:07:56.000 O'Connor.
00:07:57.000 The inner city spell.
00:08:01.000 Already offended.
00:08:02.000 All right, anyway.
00:08:04.000 Tim the Toolman.
00:08:05.000 Ahoy, how are you?
00:08:05.000 Good morning, sir.
00:08:06.000 Good morning to you.
00:08:08.000 And today we have one of my favorite people in the studio, Crawdaddy.
00:08:11.000 How you doing?
00:08:12.000 I'm great, David.
00:08:13.000 How are you?
00:08:13.000 Good.
00:08:13.000 Thank you for coming in.
00:08:14.000 You gonna talk about my new film?
00:08:16.000 We are.
00:08:17.000 We got Where the Crawdad Things coming up later.
00:08:20.000 I'm just saying.
00:08:21.000 It's a little foreshadowing.
00:08:22.000 We've seen the trailer, maybe, and we'll show it today.
00:08:26.000 Why not?
00:08:27.000 And Lane the Brain joining us as well.
00:08:28.000 How you doing today, sir?
00:08:29.000 Good to be back.
00:08:30.000 Been a little bit.
00:08:31.000 Yes, it's been a while since you've been out.
00:08:33.000 You were looking at wounds, that's why.
00:08:34.000 He was down at the Roe v. Wade in Washington, dealing with the shenanigans over there.
00:08:39.000 It took many showers, many cleansings after that to get back to normal.
00:08:43.000 What an awful place.
00:08:45.000 Lots of awful people.
00:08:46.000 Did you get any phone numbers, Lane?
00:08:48.000 I mean, we talk after the show, I don't wanna...
00:08:51.000 I wanted to kiss and tell in front of a live audience.
00:08:54.000 I saw some D-roll.
00:08:56.000 Should we call it D-roll?
00:08:58.000 No.
00:08:59.000 He got an interview with that Kentucky swimmer.
00:09:01.000 Yeah, that's right.
00:09:02.000 Oh yeah, that's true.
00:09:03.000 He's married.
00:09:04.000 Oh well.
00:09:05.000 Still married.
00:09:06.000 What's the point?
00:09:08.000 Of marriage?
00:09:08.000 Nothing.
00:09:09.000 I'm married.
00:09:10.000 No, that's not true.
00:09:11.000 No, that's later in the show.
00:09:13.000 It's a tease for later.
00:09:15.000 Yeah.
00:09:15.000 Oh!
00:09:16.000 Well, I mean... Yeah, we can get into that.
00:09:19.000 Riley Gaines, she's become quite a cultural icon.
00:09:22.000 Yeah.
00:09:23.000 Yeah.
00:09:24.000 She came in second by tying with... I think fourth.
00:09:28.000 The Howard Stern Gal.
00:09:29.000 Gal with a satchel.
00:09:30.000 The Howard Stern Gal.
00:09:34.000 She looks like Howard.
00:09:35.000 Anyway.
00:09:35.000 Well, Trump brought her up on stage at his last speech.
00:09:38.000 Oh, did he?
00:09:39.000 Yeah.
00:09:40.000 To congratulate her?
00:09:41.000 Just to, you know, point out the injustice of it all.
00:09:46.000 I didn't see that.
00:09:47.000 And he said I could out swim her.
00:09:49.000 He really did?
00:09:50.000 He's like an NCAA record holder.
00:09:52.000 He's like, yeah, give me four Big Macs, a couple of Diet Cokesies.
00:09:58.000 I'm guessing if she was some busted swimmer, he probably wouldn't have brought her up.
00:10:04.000 Nice photo op for the man.
00:10:05.000 Oh, for sure.
00:10:06.000 Absolutely.
00:10:07.000 Well, let's ask this question for the question of the day.
00:10:10.000 Does the mainstream media have a responsibility to remain unbiased?
00:10:15.000 Yeah, does it matter?
00:10:16.000 I mean, yeah, but yeah, it doesn't matter.
00:10:19.000 Tell us what you think.
00:10:20.000 But honestly, comment below.
00:10:20.000 Comment.
00:10:21.000 Do they have a responsibility to remain unbiased?
00:10:24.000 Do you feel that they do?
00:10:26.000 I do.
00:10:27.000 I don't want to lead the witness.
00:10:29.000 I mean, they should.
00:10:31.000 I mean, they should, right?
00:10:33.000 That's what I liked about journalism.
00:10:35.000 Like, you got a good Detroit... Do you remember, like, Mort Krim?
00:10:39.000 Mort Krim.
00:10:40.000 Or Bill Bonds?
00:10:41.000 Bill Bonds.
00:10:41.000 He was drunk most of the time.
00:10:42.000 All the time.
00:10:43.000 Yeah, most of the time drunk, but an unbiased reporter.
00:10:47.000 My dad tells me a story about Bill Bonds doing a up close and personal on a black stage in a stool.
00:10:53.000 Spotlight on him.
00:10:54.000 He leaned back, not only fell off the stool, off the stage.
00:10:57.000 The day is completely off camera.
00:11:00.000 They had to cut.
00:11:01.000 Are you sure you broke your toupee in half?
00:11:04.000 That's part of the show, people.
00:11:07.000 Our anchor disappeared from view.
00:11:08.000 That's beautiful.
00:11:10.000 Bill Bonds was the best.
00:11:11.000 That was a real newsman.
00:11:13.000 Yeah.
00:11:14.000 The old days.
00:11:14.000 Ah, I miss them.
00:11:15.000 You know, I don't know if they have a responsibility, but they ought to disclose their bias.
00:11:19.000 They should.
00:11:19.000 That's where we are.
00:11:21.000 Let them all be biased.
00:11:21.000 It's okay.
00:11:22.000 That's fine.
00:11:23.000 Know that this guy is coming from this angle.
00:11:25.000 That's what needs to be laid out there.
00:11:28.000 I think that's a fair point.
00:11:29.000 You have Tucker coming from a very certain perspective.
00:11:31.000 Everyone knows it.
00:11:32.000 My buddy Jimmy Falah, who's on Fox Radio, for example, is coming from a certain perspective.
00:11:37.000 CNN, they pretend they're not for some reason, but we know.
00:11:41.000 Yeah.
00:11:43.000 They always were.
00:11:44.000 They always have been.
00:11:45.000 We thought Walter Cronkite was unbiased, but no.
00:11:48.000 No, well, we thought Brian Williams was in a helicopter.
00:11:53.000 Who knew?
00:11:55.000 He was just a hero.
00:11:56.000 You can also join Stephen and I. We're gonna be on tour with the Rebel With a Cause tour.
00:12:02.000 We're gonna be in Phoenix, September 16th.
00:12:04.000 That's Arizona.
00:12:05.000 Houston, September 17th.
00:12:08.000 And Charleston, West Virginia, October 8th.
00:12:11.000 Also, you can catch me, sweet, sweet, buttery Dave, September 30th in Lexington, Michigan at the Lexington Theatre, and October 1st in Bay City, Michigan.
00:12:24.000 At the State Theater with my boy Derek Richards.
00:12:26.000 He and I are putting on a little show there.
00:12:28.000 A little shindig?
00:12:29.000 Yeah, mostly dancing, river dance.
00:12:31.000 I don't doubt that, actually.
00:12:34.000 No, I do a lot of river dancing.
00:12:35.000 I think you can tell by my physique that I'm a dancer.
00:12:39.000 Quick feet.
00:12:40.000 Very quick feet.
00:12:41.000 Well, the shows you and Steven are doing are monsters.
00:12:44.000 The ticket sales are just massive.
00:12:46.000 I click on tickets and it's like an arena, and like almost sold out, and I'm like, this is a weird me.
00:12:52.000 Yeah.
00:12:53.000 Well, we scaled it for basketball, we're opening up to hockey, and now we're opening up to... And then when it's women's basketball, it's just everything, it's just the court.
00:13:01.000 Yeah, I think we passed the WNBA's ticket sales on day one.
00:13:05.000 I wouldn't mind going to a WNBA game, you know?
00:13:10.000 Easy bathroom accessibility.
00:13:12.000 The energy, that's gonna be incredible.
00:13:15.000 Parking's free.
00:13:16.000 The dozens of fans are quite passionate.
00:13:20.000 One of them's got a vape pen and is getting tackled.
00:13:24.000 Are we trading that woman for like a hitman?
00:13:31.000 Yeah, an international arms dealer.
00:13:35.000 The Lord of War.
00:13:36.000 Do you remember that movie?
00:13:37.000 That's basically who we're trading this person for.
00:13:39.000 He was like the Taliban's main supplier of weapons.
00:13:42.000 So he killed a lot of Americans.
00:13:43.000 Last name is Boot or something.
00:13:45.000 I think we absolutely need to get our citizen back.
00:13:48.000 I'm gonna go ahead and say that.
00:13:50.000 But that's a big bargain.
00:13:52.000 Maybe for like some Tito's Vodka or something.
00:13:54.000 Yeah, something more, you know.
00:13:56.000 Even if I was over there, I'd be like, look guys, I don't think you gotta go that high.
00:14:04.000 No, we need her back.
00:14:05.000 Isn't she the only female on earth to have ever stuffed a basketball?
00:14:09.000 I don't know that that's true.
00:14:10.000 Ever slam dunked?
00:14:11.000 I think so.
00:14:11.000 Is she?
00:14:12.000 Candace Parker... Was she able to?
00:14:12.000 She might be.
00:14:14.000 Yeah, she could.
00:14:15.000 Candace Parker won the dunk contest because she just dunked it.
00:14:18.000 She was able to actually dunk it.
00:14:24.000 My buddy Eric's sister is a coach.
00:14:26.000 I'm trying to think of what school, but yeah, she can dunk.
00:14:28.000 Really?
00:14:29.000 Oh yeah, she's from Detroit.
00:14:30.000 Great, great.
00:14:31.000 Yeah, I should point it out.
00:14:34.000 But yeah, she's a hell of a basketball player, though.
00:14:38.000 But I think she's the only one that's dunked without actually jumping.
00:14:41.000 Oh!
00:14:45.000 It's like me on a Fisher-Price round.
00:14:47.000 Little tikes doesn't count, Dan.
00:14:49.000 No, I don't jump, but I do tiptoe.
00:14:52.000 You keep swatting your son, though.
00:14:54.000 That's weird.
00:14:55.000 Yeah, I only play children.
00:14:56.000 My son can beat me.
00:14:59.000 I taught him how to play horse, and I'm like, alright, you win again.
00:15:02.000 Daddy's got you.
00:15:05.000 The older you get, the more you realize that the athletics came from my father and my brother, and I should have been a girl.
00:15:13.000 You still can be, Dave.
00:15:14.000 There's still time.
00:15:16.000 Well, very forgiving time.
00:15:17.000 I'll get a Netflix special.
00:15:19.000 So anyway, let's talk about this a little bit.
00:15:23.000 I don't know if you saw this.
00:15:24.000 You guys, I don't know if you are believers, but at his Finland concert yesterday, Justin Bieber decided to employ
00:15:34.000 some questionable dance moves.
00:15:36.000 This is normal in Finland.
00:15:52.000 Sorry, what?
00:15:53.000 What is that?
00:15:55.000 Is he high?
00:15:57.000 I mean, probably.
00:15:58.000 Oh, it keeps going!
00:16:00.000 There's more, in case you were wondering.
00:16:03.000 That's a lot of goose stepping.
00:16:06.000 I'm surprised he can walk after crashing his car into that house in LA.
00:16:12.000 Oh wait, that was Anne Heche.
00:16:14.000 They shouldn't have put the house in the road.
00:16:15.000 No.
00:16:18.000 He's got some talent though, I'm gonna admit it.
00:16:20.000 He does, he's very talented.
00:16:21.000 I really like, because he came up as a kid and I never really got it.
00:16:24.000 I was way past it and then I saw him do some acoustic stuff and I was like, This dude's talented.
00:16:29.000 He does have some talent.
00:16:30.000 And then I saw him goose step here and I was like, this is what you want to do.
00:16:34.000 Yeah, but he held the mic up.
00:16:35.000 That was the key that made it different.
00:16:37.000 Oh, well, that's true.
00:16:38.000 It was his signature move.
00:16:39.000 He probably looked at it like, looking at the tour, he's like, ah, this is a long tour.
00:16:43.000 Yeah, Finland's not getting my best.
00:16:45.000 Yeah, Hitler.
00:16:46.000 Hitler just wish he had a wireless...
00:16:52.000 Well, we're looking for his new album, Live at Auschwitz.
00:16:56.000 Can't do that.
00:16:57.000 No, him.
00:16:58.000 I mean, Justin.
00:16:58.000 He can't.
00:16:59.000 No, it's closed off for concerts.
00:17:01.000 Oh, I thought he's doing it still.
00:17:02.000 Is it cancelled?
00:17:03.000 I don't know, but Gunderson pointed out to me earlier, you know the song, Where Are You Now?
00:17:09.000 I didn't realize, and Gunderson pointed this out to me, it's actually about Jews.
00:17:12.000 Where are you now?
00:17:14.000 You know, he's looking for them.
00:17:15.000 Under the floorboards.
00:17:18.000 That's what he was doing.
00:17:20.000 He was banging on the stage to see if anybody was under him.
00:17:23.000 Makes perfect sense.
00:17:25.000 In Glorious Bastards style.
00:17:26.000 It really is.
00:17:27.000 He just sits there and has a Christopher Waltz conversation with a booker.
00:17:34.000 Are you hiding anything?
00:17:36.000 Alright.
00:17:38.000 Well, let's admit the one thing, guys.
00:17:41.000 I think we can all agree running a country can be hard.
00:17:44.000 It is, yeah.
00:17:45.000 But apparently not half as hard as getting dressed or shaking hands.
00:17:49.000 That brings us to this week in Biden.
00:17:52.000 If you have a problem figuring out whether you're for me or Trump, then you ain't black.
00:17:55.000 Yeah.
00:18:16.000 Poor bastard.
00:18:18.000 I know, right?
00:18:21.000 This is the leader of the free world.
00:18:25.000 He had to ask his wife to help him.
00:18:27.000 Look at his bladder!
00:18:28.000 There's a little bit of a breeze, I get it, but every man, Darren, knows you turn in a breeze.
00:18:34.000 So it blows the soup towards you.
00:18:34.000 Turn!
00:18:37.000 Ha!
00:18:39.000 Like a weather vane.
00:18:40.000 There we go, yeah.
00:18:42.000 I got the first handshake.
00:18:43.000 I just had one of the fat boys is there.
00:18:45.000 Now our great speaker, our partner, who all of these bills we've met.
00:18:49.000 If you have a problem figuring out whether you're for me or Trump, then you ain't black.
00:18:53.000 Oh, I love it.
00:18:54.000 In his defense, with my shoulders acting up, my wife will help me grab a sleeve.
00:18:54.000 Man.
00:18:58.000 There's nothing wrong with that.
00:19:00.000 It's that he couldn't figure out what was happening to the suit jacket behind him.
00:19:05.000 Yeah, I also do that to my son if I have to take him to a wedding and a funeral.
00:19:08.000 He's seven.
00:19:14.000 That's roughly equivalent.
00:19:15.000 Do you help him with his reading glasses?
00:19:17.000 No, unfortunately he doesn't have them yet.
00:19:19.000 He's not a nerd.
00:19:23.000 That's scary though.
00:19:24.000 It's so sad how, you know, much worse he's getting.
00:19:28.000 Oh, speaking of worse, they're putting a child next to him right now.
00:19:31.000 He's signing some legislation on CNN.
00:19:33.000 This child is... Someone's getting sniffed.
00:19:36.000 She is definitely in the blast zone right now.
00:19:36.000 I hope not.
00:19:41.000 Oh, there it comes!
00:19:41.000 In the sniff zone.
00:19:45.000 Oh, the pheromones.
00:19:46.000 Don't do it.
00:19:47.000 Don't do it.
00:19:48.000 Oh my god, he's so close.
00:19:50.000 This is live, folks.
00:19:51.000 They're trying to cut away now.
00:19:51.000 This is live.
00:19:52.000 This is live.
00:19:53.000 She's got a slug tail.
00:19:54.000 They're trying to cut away now.
00:19:55.000 Yeah.
00:19:56.000 That's her.
00:19:57.000 You smell like cabbage.
00:19:58.000 Oh.
00:19:59.000 Yeah.
00:20:00.000 Come here.
00:20:01.000 Get closer.
00:20:02.000 Touch my leg here.
00:20:02.000 There's your pen.
00:20:04.000 Oh, you can keep that.
00:20:05.000 It's very sweet because these people, their fathers died.
00:20:09.000 Look how smart she is.
00:20:12.000 It's a very sweet moment, but Biden's creepy.
00:20:15.000 He's very creepy in these moments.
00:20:16.000 Is this going to actually help veterans?
00:20:19.000 This is the burn pit legislation that he signed that was some helping veterans and some helping whatever Democrats wanted.
00:20:25.000 Yeah, I think more money is going to, uh, not veterans.
00:20:28.000 Yeah.
00:20:29.000 Then veterans.
00:20:30.000 But they're gonna make it look like they were doing it for all the right reasons.
00:20:32.000 It says, uh, veterans on the bill, so you know it's good.
00:20:34.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:20:35.000 Yeah, so it's the, it's the false, uh... Set the four trillion earmark to buy, you know, ethanol plants in some Democratic district.
00:20:35.000 Must be, must be.
00:20:42.000 Oh, good.
00:20:43.000 That's good, yeah.
00:20:43.000 Yeah.
00:20:43.000 Yeah, well, I'll, I'll be still waiting for my check, VA.
00:20:48.000 Still the same address, didn't move.
00:20:49.000 Yeah, still there.
00:20:50.000 Send it there.
00:20:51.000 You can send it to the one that my mom died at.
00:20:54.000 I don't know, it's funny to me.
00:20:57.000 It's because it hurts.
00:20:58.000 All right!
00:20:59.000 Has the concept of getting rid of earmarks and pork ever been discussed?
00:21:02.000 I mean, it's unbelievable to me.
00:21:04.000 It's just assumed.
00:21:05.000 It should be.
00:21:05.000 That's the way we work.
00:21:06.000 Yeah.
00:21:07.000 It's tragic.
00:21:09.000 The average American doesn't realize this goes on.
00:21:12.000 They think a bill is a bill.
00:21:13.000 It's not.
00:21:14.000 It's just a bunch of fluff.
00:21:15.000 That bill we had to look at for the IRS-related bill, it was 755 pages.
00:21:19.000 And Steve was like, can you just look through this for a second?
00:21:22.000 I'm like, oh yeah, that shouldn't be too hard.
00:21:23.000 And then I looked.
00:21:24.000 It was 755 pages.
00:21:26.000 There's no way the people in Congress know what they're passing.
00:21:28.000 Well, no, that's why every bill just ends up like that, because they get it and they're like, what, I don't, yes?
00:21:34.000 Can somebody look at the notes for this?
00:21:35.000 Can we get a five page bill, please?
00:21:37.000 And I'm going to be judged based on the title and what I did with it.
00:21:40.000 And then a pair of legals like, yeah, I read it.
00:21:42.000 And they're like, that's cool.
00:21:44.000 You have painted nails, sir.
00:21:46.000 I had an Evelyn Wood course.
00:21:48.000 I had a really good time.
00:21:56.000 Yeah, of course.
00:21:57.000 And again, we talked about that with Jon Stewart.
00:22:00.000 I think his heart was in the right place.
00:22:02.000 And I think it was good that he had apologized to the Republican.
00:22:07.000 And I think people who have any sort of compassion want the right thing.
00:22:13.000 I just don't think there's a lot of people in politics that have that sort of compassion.
00:22:18.000 No, but the real a-holes are the ones that play on that compassion to try to get their own agenda passed.
00:22:24.000 Absolutely.
00:22:25.000 That's the best way to do it, is tug on the heartstrings of people that actually care.
00:22:29.000 Sad.
00:22:30.000 It's like an abusive parent, like, using their child to... manipulating their child to get what they want in a marriage or something like that.
00:22:37.000 Yeah, all bills are essentially, uh... Who's that, Skeddy Gale?
00:22:43.000 Skeddy Gale?
00:22:44.000 The gross girl.
00:22:45.000 Are you talking about AOC?
00:22:47.000 How dare you, that one!
00:22:48.000 No, the, uh... The Swedish Gale?
00:22:50.000 No, the... Thunberg?
00:22:52.000 The TLC girl?
00:22:54.000 AOC?
00:22:55.000 No.
00:22:57.000 AOC?
00:22:57.000 I have no idea.
00:22:58.000 TLC?
00:22:59.000 Just keep saying their names.
00:23:01.000 I shouldn't say jokes till I know them.
00:23:06.000 I bet it was a good one, though.
00:23:07.000 I bet it was.
00:23:08.000 Fastest man on his feet?
00:23:09.000 It's just because I can't do it.
00:23:19.000 Whatever, Rudy.
00:23:20.000 It's fair.
00:23:23.000 So let's talk about something more serious, for real, if you can.
00:23:29.000 Long pause.
00:23:33.000 MSNBC also did this, so that's the reason why I'm jumping ahead on it.
00:23:39.000 MSNBC calls out Crowder last night.
00:23:42.000 It was, MSNBC had a panic attack over Stevens using the phrase, this is war.
00:23:48.000 And the comments about war aren't limited to anonymous users.
00:23:52.000 Right-wing YouTube influencer Stephen Crowder wrote tomorrow is war on his public Twitter account.
00:23:57.000 The other thing you write about, and I'll read a little bit of this,
00:23:59.000 it's about the notion of the rhetoric on these crazy far-right forums moving into the mainstream.
00:24:04.000 You say more mainstream pro-Trump influencers, including podcasters.
00:24:08.000 Millions of followers on YouTube or Twitter have also heightened their rhetoric.
00:24:11.000 Tomorrow is war.
00:24:12.000 Steven Crowder, who has over 5 million subscribers on YouTube and 1 million followers on Twitter, said in a tweet, quote, sleep well.
00:24:21.000 I don't think I got it.
00:24:22.000 They broke it up, like it's two tweets.
00:24:25.000 How much, I mean, that's another whole problem, right?
00:24:28.000 The mainstreaming of this.
00:24:30.000 And there's the fact that so much of it seems, whether it's Donald Trump himself, or people who are allied with Donald Trump, they seem to be doing this intentionally.
00:24:36.000 They're stirring these people up.
00:24:39.000 Talk about all that.
00:24:41.000 Yeah, I mean, the Steven Crowders of the world are not going to be on the front line of the Civil War, right?
00:24:45.000 The one thing that you keep hearing is that they have crossed the Rubicon.
00:24:49.000 That, you know, this is basically past the point of no return.
00:24:51.000 Oh, this is from our show, then?
00:24:52.000 And that they are in a full-fledged war now.
00:24:54.000 That's the big thing that you're hearing this morning.
00:24:56.000 And if you're hearing this, by the way, from people like Steven Crowder, who has, what, six million YouTube subscribers on, like, very civilian platforms, can you imagine how bad it is in these telegram spaces?
00:25:09.000 I can tell you right now it's worse than you'd imagine.
00:25:11.000 Why is it bad?
00:25:13.000 One, you're not in front of the White House.
00:25:15.000 Just saying, if you want to be authentic.
00:25:19.000 And also it was Honey Boo Boo I was thinking of.
00:25:22.000 Ah, there you go.
00:25:23.000 See what I mean?
00:25:24.000 Cause the mom abuses, yeah, cause she's like scatty.
00:25:28.000 Let me just say this.
00:25:29.000 Have they lost the ability to understand that sometimes when you say something like that, you're not calling people to violence?
00:25:35.000 We'll get to this.
00:25:36.000 Like we've very clearly said, we're not calling people to violence.
00:25:39.000 There are other ways to fight ideologies.
00:25:43.000 When you talk about going to war politically against an opponent, This is moronic.
00:25:48.000 This is taking something completely out of context and saying, oh, this is definitely what they meant.
00:25:52.000 They want people to go and be violent.
00:25:54.000 And then I love how he included sleep well, but he read it as a threat.
00:25:59.000 Like when the boogeyman says to you, like, sleep well.
00:26:04.000 What Stephen essentially meant is more and more is happening to you, where more and more government agencies are coming after you, so sleep well.
00:26:10.000 It was a bit of a tone of sarcasm.
00:26:12.000 Yeah.
00:26:13.000 It had nothing to do with a threat whatsoever.
00:26:16.000 No, and tomorrow is war.
00:26:18.000 Tomorrow we're fighting this.
00:26:20.000 Which is, we're on a show that combats that I didn't even have to continue the sentence.
00:26:26.000 It combats that.
00:26:27.000 He was very clear about that.
00:26:29.000 They're hacks.
00:26:30.000 He's gone in much harder many times before.
00:26:34.000 Not literally.
00:26:35.000 He was very clear on it.
00:26:37.000 He says it, and we'll get to it later.
00:26:38.000 It's like four times explicitly.
00:26:40.000 They're hacks.
00:26:41.000 They know what they're doing.
00:26:42.000 They know what nuance is.
00:26:45.000 If you're believing it at this point, you're beyond saving.
00:26:48.000 Because if you can't see what tactics they're using to smear very Normal, very cordial, political discourse, then I don't know where we go from here, because it's so blaringly obvious what they're doing.
00:27:02.000 Glaringly obvious?
00:27:03.000 Blaringly obvious.
00:27:04.000 Both.
00:27:04.000 Blatantly?
00:27:05.000 I don't know.
00:27:06.000 They're idiots, that's all I know.
00:27:07.000 Clearly.
00:27:09.000 It's obvious.
00:27:11.000 Well, it is obvious.
00:27:12.000 And if they want to act like they're intelligent, then you can't really pretend that you don't know the language.
00:27:17.000 You can't really pretend that you aren't aware of what's actually being said.
00:27:20.000 Because then you have to be held as everything that you've said is accountable.
00:27:24.000 I could say the same thing to them.
00:27:24.000 Exactly.
00:27:25.000 Like, oh, they're going to war against us.
00:27:27.000 They're saying that this is war and that they're preparing for this.
00:27:31.000 It doesn't make any sense.
00:27:32.000 I'm not going to think that these guys, especially those guys on MSNBC, are going to any kind of war.
00:27:37.000 I know they're fighting for their viewpoint.
00:27:41.000 I understand how that works.
00:27:42.000 It's like when Sarah Palin said we need to target these congressional districts.
00:27:46.000 She's thinking about target assassinating.
00:27:47.000 It was after Gabby Giffords had been shot and so they tried to fold that in.
00:27:52.000 It's unbelievable.
00:27:54.000 Well, it's whatever they'll do to push this agenda across.
00:27:56.000 And frankly, we don't care.
00:27:58.000 We don't care anymore.
00:27:59.000 It doesn't offend us.
00:28:00.000 I mean, I'm not bothered by it.
00:28:02.000 No, Stephen isn't.
00:28:03.000 They're just upset that someone's watching another show and not theirs.
00:28:06.000 Well, yeah, do you see how conveniently quick we became mainstream?
00:28:11.000 Like, when did that happen?
00:28:12.000 I mean, of course we do mainstream numbers, but we've always been fringe until, oh, all of a sudden we need you as the example, so you're mainstream today.
00:28:19.000 You're mainstream when you're a threat.
00:28:23.000 That's the only time you become mainstream.
00:28:25.000 What term did he use, Gerald?
00:28:26.000 He called us civilian?
00:28:27.000 Yes, a civilian platform.
00:28:29.000 Oh, I see.
00:28:30.000 Not the back channels at the Pentagon, where most... Not true journalists.
00:28:33.000 It's not the MSNBC platform.
00:28:35.000 Where they've invested in the vaccines.
00:28:35.000 Yes.
00:28:38.000 We don't reach dozens of thousands of followers.
00:28:41.000 Dave, are you trained in the funny?
00:28:43.000 Have you been to clown college?
00:28:45.000 Yes, I have.
00:28:45.000 And journalism school.
00:28:47.000 Well, yeah, that's... It is that same thing, though, even as a comic, where it's like, if you take that very seriously, I'm a comic.
00:28:55.000 Yeah.
00:28:56.000 You're wrong.
00:28:59.000 What this whole thing puts to bed is both sides-ism.
00:29:02.000 It doesn't exist, it's a stupid argument.
00:29:04.000 Because how many times have you heard Stephen tell people, go watch MSNBC, go watch CNN, I want you to watch this, and then watch us.
00:29:11.000 Yeah, read Salon.
00:29:12.000 Go and check out The Hill.
00:29:13.000 How many times, and I'll tell you zero, they would never want any of their audience to actually watch this show.
00:29:19.000 Because the narrative would be gone like that.
00:29:21.000 That's right.
00:29:22.000 Oh, absolutely.
00:29:23.000 The only thing we keep on is CNN.
00:29:26.000 And we actually pulled up what tweets on Twitter we look at, and mine was 50-50 on each side.
00:29:32.000 I'm aware of both news.
00:29:34.000 I'm aware of both platforms.
00:29:36.000 It's also because I don't necessarily side with anything fully.
00:29:40.000 We source from them.
00:29:41.000 Of course!
00:29:42.000 Well, my question to you guys is like, what is the proper response?
00:29:45.000 So this is the framing right now, and I know we're going to get to a Washington Post article here in just a second, but what is the proper response?
00:29:51.000 Comment about Gerald's face.
00:29:54.000 Don't please, not that.
00:29:56.000 Something happens that's never happened before in history.
00:29:58.000 You find out information about this that they already knew what documents were there.
00:30:01.000 They were there talking to their lawyers.
00:30:03.000 There's a conversation that typically happens in these instances where lawyers say, hey, we want these documents to be brought back to the National Archives, which seems to be at the very center of all of this for some reason.
00:30:14.000 They finally are relevant for some reason.
00:30:16.000 What is the proper response if you do something that has never been done before in the history of our country?
00:30:22.000 What would you like me to do?
00:30:24.000 Because what I see right now is an FBI run amok, and we've seen it over and over and over, and they typically have either a group of people that they target, but they have one target that seems to be at the top of their list for the last six, seven years, and you do something else to inflame people.
00:30:40.000 What did you expect would happen?
00:30:42.000 Well, it's my understanding that one of the bicyclists in the FBI just wanted their padlock back.
00:30:48.000 Well, they had to get it from somewhere, that's a fair point.
00:30:51.000 So let's be fair to that. These people have unwittingly created the cleanest presidency ever.
00:30:56.000 He's been under such scrutiny. Biden has been in the business for 50 years with no scrutiny.
00:31:01.000 This sword is coming. It's coming his way. No violence. But if you live by that sword...
00:31:05.000 Don't say sword, Darren.
00:31:07.000 Guess what? Pretty...
00:31:08.000 November's coming.
00:31:10.000 And can he handle the white light of that scrutiny?
00:31:12.000 I don't think so.
00:31:13.000 50 years.
00:31:14.000 Trump was in office for four, and they scrutinized him up one side and down the other.
00:31:18.000 The only white light he sees, he tries to walk away from every day.
00:31:24.000 Go to the light!
00:31:25.000 No!
00:31:26.000 No, I can't!
00:31:27.000 I can't yet.
00:31:27.000 I dropped my glasses.
00:31:28.000 There's something to be said about waiting and saying, okay, maybe there's some bot, maybe, maybe, I don't think so, because there never has been.
00:31:35.000 That's possible, right?
00:31:36.000 It's possible, but so, you know, him peeing on Russian hookers was possible, I guess, and that didn't happen, obviously.
00:31:42.000 Hey, look, we've all done stuff.
00:31:44.000 Not like that.
00:31:45.000 But if it comes out that the only reason they were down there is so they could film National Treasure 3 and look through the National Archives, There is gonna be a storm coming, and I don't- non-violently, of course, I know we have to caveat everything.
00:32:01.000 Red wave, call it that.
00:32:02.000 Whatever.
00:32:02.000 Incredible red wave.
00:32:03.000 The part I just don't understand is being so brainwashed regardless of what side you're on that it shouldn't concern you, and it's not even- it's sad that it should even take to this point to realize how bad we've been screwed.
00:32:16.000 You should have realized this before this even happened, but the fact that this hasn't, it shines such a bright light on everything that I'm surprised how people are still defending it and defending it.
00:32:27.000 But it's the same thing as you have all these videos of Hunter, you have all this proof of money going to him and money going up to his dad.
00:32:33.000 People go, it's a lie.
00:32:35.000 It's a complete lie.
00:32:36.000 Why?
00:32:37.000 It's there.
00:32:37.000 Like you're just, you're being difficult for no reason.
00:32:41.000 Well, they just want you to go quietly as they change everything.
00:32:44.000 Like we're going to do all of this stuff.
00:32:45.000 But that's not even the mainstream.
00:32:46.000 That's just this elite group telling people what to think and they're still pushing that narrative even though they're being screwed by it.
00:32:54.000 They've gotten away with it for long enough.
00:32:56.000 They think they can do it.
00:32:56.000 They tell you a lie and then anybody who tries to oppose the lie is the problem. And they can do it. And that's what they've
00:33:03.000 been saying this entire time and and you wonder why. So in this Washington Post article,
00:33:08.000 again we're going to get to that right after this in a quote, but this isn't in there. This lady
00:33:13.000 said that as the right says that these institutions that were set up for us to peacefully resolve
00:33:19.000 differences, right, so the institutions of government that we've set up to be able to peacefully
00:33:24.000 resolve our differences, as the right erodes trust in those institutions. And I'm like do you do
00:33:29.000 you have any self-awareness at all?
00:33:31.000 We're not eroding trust in those institutions.
00:33:33.000 We're literally just calling balls and strikes and saying, hey, they're doing something wrong.
00:33:38.000 We didn't make them do something wrong.
00:33:39.000 We didn't make up something wrong that they did.
00:33:41.000 We pointed out what they did that was wrong.
00:33:44.000 That's it.
00:33:45.000 If you have a problem with the institutions, people not having faith in them, that's the institution's fault.
00:33:51.000 Not the people pointing it out!
00:33:53.000 Absolutely.
00:33:53.000 And that's the point that she makes in her article.
00:33:55.000 That was kind of the overarching point is we're the problem because we're eroding trust in these institutions and of course that's going to lead to violence.
00:34:02.000 And why wouldn't you erode trust in the institutions?
00:34:04.000 You mean the ones that are untrustworthy?
00:34:05.000 You're right.
00:34:07.000 That's the whole point of this.
00:34:08.000 I don't understand this.
00:34:09.000 I have no concept of reality that makes sense from their side right now.
00:34:14.000 And I would love for somebody to explain it to me.
00:34:16.000 Let's say this form of justice, the judicial system, I guess you would say, is part of that, right?
00:34:23.000 We've seen the racism, the classism, and everything that sort of existed in that, right?
00:34:28.000 So all of a sudden that doesn't exist?
00:34:30.000 It's always been perfect.
00:34:30.000 It still is perfect.
00:34:32.000 Right.
00:34:32.000 It's always been a problem.
00:34:34.000 But then when you actually prove it, it's like, no, it's perfect.
00:34:37.000 It's great.
00:34:37.000 They should be in that house.
00:34:39.000 Why?
00:34:40.000 Well.
00:34:41.000 Yeah.
00:34:42.000 Well, let's talk more about this, the people coming after the host of the show.
00:34:47.000 Not me.
00:34:50.000 Yet.
00:34:50.000 Well, no, they came after me yesterday.
00:34:52.000 The day is young, Dave.
00:34:53.000 I wrote a deliberately stupid tweet about when are they going to go after a height in a lager or something, and they were like, the number of people that attacked me as if I was sincerely meaning for that to be funny was astonishing.
00:35:07.000 They're just like, go you son of a- whatever, they have dirt on them.
00:35:11.000 It's like, have you not seen the Endless Videos?
00:35:15.000 That he recorded?
00:35:16.000 It's crazy!
00:35:17.000 I don't even mind the hooker thing, it's just he takes taxpayers' money.
00:35:24.000 Really, it's like smoke all the crack you want, I just weren't paying for it.
00:35:29.000 Not even getting a kickback on it.
00:35:31.000 No, it doesn't, it's insanity.
00:35:33.000 In a Washington Post article titled, Simmering Threat of Violence Comes to Fore with Search of Trump Property.
00:35:41.000 That's a long title.
00:35:42.000 That is a, I fell asleep halfway into it.
00:35:45.000 Hannah Allum wrote, within hours of search of Mar-a-Lago, a chorus of Republican lawmakers, conservative talk show hosts, anti-government provocateurs, and pro-Trump conspiracy theorists began issuing explicit or thinly veiled calls for violence.
00:36:03.000 Those are two different things.
00:36:04.000 Yes, very different.
00:36:05.000 Explicit and thinly veiled.
00:36:07.000 She then added, today is war.
00:36:10.000 That is all you get on today's show.
00:36:13.000 Right-wing podcaster Stephen Crowder announced Tuesday to his nearly 2 million followers on Twitter, referring to the program that goes to his YouTube audience of 5.6 million.
00:36:26.000 I appreciate that you finally recognize that we have some popularity.
00:36:31.000 Yeah, I do appreciate the number count.
00:36:33.000 I don't appreciate your writing.
00:36:35.000 No, no, no, the writing's terrible.
00:36:37.000 In Stephen's defense, he did say war just on the show.
00:36:40.000 Yeah.
00:36:41.000 So for that hour and a half only.
00:36:42.000 He did.
00:36:45.000 It was on a limited basis.
00:36:46.000 He said gore several times.
00:36:48.000 He was talking about the band.
00:36:50.000 Yes.
00:36:51.000 Different.
00:36:52.000 How can they feign shock at the response that the right is giving, or specifically that this shows you?
00:36:57.000 How do they act surprised by that when, if you look at every single institution, every lever of government, besides the Supreme Court, it is explicitly controlled by Democrats?
00:37:07.000 And then every time something like this seems to happen, it happens in one direction.
00:37:11.000 And now finally people are saying something like, oh my god, I can't believe it.
00:37:15.000 They're essentially turning government institutions into an authoritarian wing.
00:37:20.000 It's like when Xi Jinping became the president of China, he went on his anti-corruption campaign.
00:37:27.000 Well, all that was was to weed out all the people that were dissenting against his views and his ideas.
00:37:33.000 If you could explain what the difference is here, I'd love to hear it.
00:37:36.000 Well, you know what makes this even more perplexing to me is that this comes from the generation that was anti-government.
00:37:41.000 This comes from the generation that spent all of their time growing up Protesting the government because they didn't trust the institutions of the United States of America and now they're in power and wondering why people question.
00:37:52.000 By the way, our system of government is set up specifically for this.
00:37:57.000 The government is never supposed to have a free pass to do whatever they want.
00:38:00.000 The citizenry absolutely can question the government at every single turn.
00:38:05.000 We go through elections to change it.
00:38:07.000 We don't go through war necessarily to change that, right?
00:38:10.000 But we are supposed to be able to question at every single turn.
00:38:13.000 Of course you should fear for your job if you're in politics.
00:38:16.000 If you make a decision that the people don't like, you should fear that you are going to get voted out and run out of office.
00:38:23.000 That should be your fear.
00:38:25.000 And if you go even further than that, then I understand that there are processes within the judicial system to take care of that too, but what do they expect people to do?
00:38:32.000 Just sit there and go, oh yeah, yeah, I don't like what's going on in the government right now, but I'm just a citizen of this country.
00:38:36.000 I have no responsibility for what actually happens here.
00:38:38.000 I don't have kids that have to live here in 20, 40, 50, 60 years, and that they don't have potentially kids that are going to have to live in a country too.
00:38:45.000 I don't need to preserve democracy.
00:38:46.000 I know people have died for it by the thousands, by the hundreds of thousands, but no, I can't be bothered to actually, you know, pay attention to what's happening.
00:38:55.000 Well said.
00:38:55.000 Well, I mean, if we're supposed to be a people in charge of our government, shouldn't they be afraid of us instead of now where we're constantly being afraid of them?
00:39:04.000 Because that's what's been laying into us endlessly now.
00:39:07.000 The only power they have is the power we have given them.
00:39:10.000 It is not theirs, it is ours.
00:39:12.000 And they're taking way more than we've given them.
00:39:15.000 They've taken way more money than we've given them.
00:39:18.000 They've taken way, way, way... Even the idea of being a politician is about serving the public, and I haven't seen many, and this goes right or left, that I've seen that do anything for the public.
00:39:29.000 I see nothing but self-interest.
00:39:33.000 Speaking of self-interest, my favorite guy is coming up next.
00:39:36.000 Adam.
00:39:37.000 Adam Kinzinger.
00:39:40.000 I don't know that there's a politician that's supposed to be on our side that I dislike more than Adam Kinzinger.
00:39:49.000 He also sits down to pee.
00:39:50.000 I don't know this for a fact.
00:39:52.000 Listen, sometimes it's warranted.
00:39:54.000 Oh no, I'll do it in the middle of the night so I don't loudly wake up everyone.
00:39:58.000 Or, you know, in the morning when things are... Yeah, you wanna relax, you wanna look at the phone.
00:40:03.000 A rather, you know, large stream.
00:40:06.000 Yeah.
00:40:06.000 You wanna make a mess.
00:40:07.000 Easy, Gerald.
00:40:08.000 You're getting the toaster warmed up, deciding if you're gonna make it through the day.
00:40:12.000 You gotta pee, you gotta pee!
00:40:14.000 Yeah, I get it.
00:40:15.000 I get it.
00:40:16.000 I have rubber sheets.
00:40:19.000 I also have leather sheets.
00:40:20.000 I don't want my bathroom to look like CSI needs to investigate.
00:40:22.000 Come on!
00:40:24.000 What are you doing in your bathroom?
00:40:26.000 Just normal stuff.
00:40:27.000 He's had a lot of dongs when I was over there.
00:40:29.000 He had a lot of dongs?
00:40:30.000 He was in Vietnam, Dave, to be clear.
00:40:33.000 What's a dong in Vietnam?
00:40:35.000 It's their money.
00:40:36.000 Oh, is it?
00:40:36.000 It's just a silly name for currency.
00:40:38.000 I heard Gerald's voice and his lips weren't moving.
00:40:40.000 Yeah, it's weird how that happens.
00:40:42.000 Is it of a very low value?
00:40:45.000 Is it a small denomination?
00:40:46.000 It really is.
00:40:46.000 It takes a lot of dongs to make things happen.
00:40:48.000 Yeah?
00:40:49.000 Another one.
00:40:52.000 Oh man, you wouldn't believe it.
00:40:54.000 I mean, so many dogs when I was in Vietnam.
00:40:58.000 Just slinging them left and right, man.
00:41:01.000 Everywhere you go, I was just like, DONGS!
00:41:03.000 You want a DONG?
00:41:04.000 Here, you need a DONG.
00:41:05.000 Go ahead.
00:41:08.000 Casey's just cracking up here, because we have so many soundbites from the show.
00:41:12.000 Yeah, he's just cutting these, I know.
00:41:13.000 Sometimes I do it to myself.
00:41:15.000 Well, I enjoy the fact that we have, I love DONGS, or whatever you just said.
00:41:20.000 Now I just said it.
00:41:21.000 I didn't say that at all, Dave!
00:41:22.000 In fact... Look, I don't mind a DONG.
00:41:27.000 I just want it to be worth something, that's all.
00:41:29.000 Look, I have many DONGs that I hope to one day be valuable.
00:41:33.000 There you go.
00:41:33.000 I kept some and brought them home.
00:41:34.000 They're trophies, if you will.
00:41:38.000 From my teen gardeners.
00:41:41.000 Alright, so let's talk about Adam Kinzinger, speaking of creeps, cried about Stephen using the phrase, this is war, in one of his tweets.
00:41:53.000 We gotta pull that up.
00:41:54.000 Sorry.
00:41:55.000 I wasn't criticizing.
00:41:57.000 So you can just say this on Twitter now.
00:41:59.000 That's what he said.
00:42:01.000 Yeah, Adam.
00:42:01.000 You can say a lot of stupid shit on Twitter.
00:42:04.000 Have you been on Twitter, Adam?
00:42:06.000 Just read mine from yesterday.
00:42:10.000 You can say death threats and then you report them and they're like, nah.
00:42:15.000 Not because it's you.
00:42:19.000 You can say the worst stuff imaginable on Twitter because it's a wasteland, but here's the thing.
00:42:24.000 You can say that on Twitter because he wasn't making a threat.
00:42:28.000 Right.
00:42:29.000 That's probably the most important part of that tweet.
00:42:32.000 Steven was saying that we're standing up for something because we think what happened was wrong.
00:42:39.000 Everything that he said, to be clear, Steven was never calling for violence.
00:42:43.000 If you don't believe me, just take a look at exactly what he said yesterday.
00:42:48.000 This is so wrong, so tyrannical, there needs to be a hill that you're willing to die on.
00:42:55.000 This is it.
00:42:55.000 Now, I don't mean literally.
00:42:58.000 I'm not calling you to violence, unlike what's being implied on Twitter.
00:43:02.000 Eric Swalwell with a fight like hell, banging Chinese spies.
00:43:07.000 Today's the day that we all have the right to be pissed off, to yell, to scream, to behave not as egregiously as the left, It's time to fight fire a little bit with fire, and today we're also going to get into, I was really spending all night, and I didn't sleep much, thinking about what is it that I can do, what is it that we can do here, where we can offer you quantifiable steps that you can take.
00:43:32.000 And some of those are going to have to be addressed on Mug Club, not on YouTube.
00:43:34.000 Not because it's a call for violence, not because it's a call for a physical civil war.
00:43:41.000 But because I don't know the rule book and I know that they're on high alert over there at YouTube.
00:43:44.000 Claim to be carrying our mantle, Republicans, Conservatives.
00:43:47.000 They need to fear you.
00:43:50.000 Not saying violence.
00:43:51.000 I'm saying they need to fear you going on a campaign to remove any and all of the power they so desperately, desperately desire.
00:44:04.000 That's interesting.
00:44:05.000 Pretty.
00:44:05.000 Seems kind of clear that it in no way was an actual.
00:44:09.000 Hmm.
00:44:10.000 I don't even want to say actual threat, it just wasn't a threat.
00:44:14.000 These people don't have time to watch the show, so they must be fed by the Media Matters folks.
00:44:18.000 Just monitor us and then parse that out to MSNBC.
00:44:23.000 Do we have a Media Matters moment clip?
00:44:25.000 No.
00:44:25.000 I'll do it.
00:44:27.000 I know you deeply desire to flick them off.
00:44:29.000 I should have thought about that earlier.
00:44:31.000 Just do a little spread eagle.
00:44:36.000 Yeah, what do you think the chances are the Washington Post reporter or the MSNBC hack actually watched the show?
00:44:42.000 No, no.
00:44:43.000 There's no way.
00:44:44.000 How about this?
00:44:45.000 11%?
00:44:46.000 Maybe go through the... I don't know.
00:44:47.000 And then if they did, it was 11% of the show.
00:44:50.000 Right, yeah, exactly.
00:44:51.000 Maybe go through the steps of pulling a transcript of the show.
00:44:53.000 You know you can do that, right?
00:44:54.000 You know you can do that and then do a search and make sure you understand what he actually said.
00:44:58.000 It's a publicly available show.
00:44:59.000 Well, yeah, but nothing, you know, nothing reads tone like a transcript.
00:45:05.000 That's the problem is they don't look into any of this the way that they should.
00:45:08.000 It's just so stupid.
00:45:09.000 Like, when we pull clips of people saying things, we're very careful to make sure that we take them in context.
00:45:15.000 Because we don't want to get it wrong.
00:45:17.000 We don't want to make it sound like somebody's saying something that they're not.
00:45:20.000 Joe Biden smells cute.
00:45:21.000 He does!
00:45:23.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:45:24.000 It's not like you guys are just having fun messing with me.
00:45:28.000 We're actually trying to do the right thing and show what people actually believe and say.
00:45:33.000 And honestly, Steven gets pissed off if we bring something and it's like, no, no, no, that's not the full deal.
00:45:39.000 because it's not what somebody is actually saying. These guys don't care about that.
00:45:42.000 Stephen's been labeled, and by proxy all of us too, right?
00:45:46.000 We've been labeled as right-wing provocateurs. What are we saying that's provocative? We
00:45:49.000 want you to have more freedom. We want the government to have less control over your life. We want
00:45:53.000 there to be more prosperity. We want every class of people in this country to feel like they can do it.
00:45:57.000 Not that you have to have somebody help We want to help people that are in need, but we think charity is probably a better way than stealing money through taxation and spending it on Ukraine and other stuff that people like, by the way, the Inflation Reduction Act where they're doing a whole bunch of climate stuff in there.
00:46:10.000 That'll definitely reduce inflation.
00:46:13.000 That's...
00:46:14.000 That's all we want.
00:46:15.000 I don't know.
00:46:16.000 I think it makes sense to send $90 billion over to the Ukraine and then go after Etsy and eBay accounts and keep printing money.
00:46:24.000 It all works out.
00:46:25.000 I do hate Etsy though.
00:46:27.000 This can't fail.
00:46:28.000 They're not all wrong, Dave.
00:46:29.000 Please stop going at my Etsy accounts.
00:46:31.000 I make wonderful bracelets.
00:46:33.000 They're for friendship.
00:46:34.000 Yeah.
00:46:35.000 Mm-hmm.
00:46:35.000 I'm sure they are.
00:46:36.000 You got one.
00:46:37.000 I got one.
00:46:38.000 Did you like it?
00:46:38.000 I got two.
00:46:39.000 I didn't.
00:46:40.000 You didn't get one?
00:46:41.000 Do you think it sucks for these people, Gerald, when they finally realize that they're the man?
00:46:45.000 I don't know that they ever have.
00:46:46.000 They're the old geezer.
00:46:46.000 They're the fuddy-duddy.
00:46:47.000 They're the person who's out of touch.
00:46:49.000 They're every institution, as Lane said earlier.
00:46:51.000 Yeah.
00:46:52.000 You've lived long enough to be one.
00:46:53.000 Well, the problem is a lot of people don't realize that they're that until they're being thrown into a mass grave.
00:46:58.000 And I hate to be that blunt, but it's the truth.
00:47:01.000 And all the fun.
00:47:02.000 All the edge.
00:47:02.000 All the snark.
00:47:03.000 All the rock and rolls on the right.
00:47:04.000 All of it.
00:47:05.000 Yeah.
00:47:06.000 They just, they are the man.
00:47:08.000 Well, it's interesting to even look at that side of the left because it's this idea of like, you should all be accepting and we're all anti-bullying yet they use all tactics of mob mentality.
00:47:21.000 Yeah.
00:47:22.000 Blindly attacking and only going after people once it's deemed safe to destroy someone.
00:47:27.000 They're the completely, the mainstream media, the left, everything at this point, it's just kicking someone when they're down.
00:47:35.000 That's all they do.
00:47:36.000 And one thing, just as a final point on this, in that article... Don't you tell me when there's a final point.
00:47:41.000 No, no, no, I'm saying the final thing I'm going to say about this article.
00:47:43.000 He's got a paper name on the sign.
00:47:45.000 Excuse me.
00:47:47.000 I have beaver teeth and I have drawn a beaver.
00:47:52.000 How do you have time for that?
00:47:54.000 I don't know.
00:47:54.000 On the show?
00:47:55.000 While you were talking.
00:47:57.000 I was listening to nothing that I say.
00:47:59.000 I was bored in that two minute diatribe of nonsense.
00:48:02.000 I love it!
00:48:02.000 I'm just glad the... I'm joking, I drew it before.
00:48:05.000 I'm just glad the balcony is clear today.
00:48:06.000 I know, right?
00:48:07.000 Otherwise I'd be getting heckled, I know.
00:48:09.000 They were... well, it's not clear, they're just making out pretty hard.
00:48:14.000 Who has the time to listen?
00:48:16.000 She made a point and she referenced something.
00:48:18.000 She said of course the rhetoric on the right is getting more violent as evidenced by January 6th.
00:48:23.000 She said that twice.
00:48:25.000 That's the evidence.
00:48:27.000 The thing that they've drummed up.
00:48:28.000 The thing that they have made into the greatest threat to democracy that's ever existed in the United States of America is now being used as evidence that of course the right is getting more violent.
00:48:38.000 The greatest threat was that raid at Mar-a-Lago.
00:48:41.000 Far worse than January 6th.
00:48:43.000 Well, and I saw George Takai, brilliant, tweet something out about how the left and threat violence in 2011 when Hillary got investigated, whatever it was, and it's like, what are you talking about?
00:49:00.000 Are you talking about when Obama was in office?
00:49:04.000 Do you realize anything that you mean?
00:49:06.000 It's an entirely different time now.
00:49:09.000 Do you mean when she got our ambassador killed in Benghazi?
00:49:13.000 And then she bleached an entire server hiding the proof?
00:49:17.000 Which, by the way, I saw left-wing people.
00:49:19.000 They were protesting everywhere because of it.
00:49:23.000 Nobody was on her side at the time.
00:49:26.000 And were they threatening violence?
00:49:28.000 Yeah!
00:49:32.000 They have more trouble with some dude on Twitter saying he's gonna, I don't know, do whatever, than an entire mob killing a ton of contractors and an ambassador.
00:49:41.000 Right.
00:49:42.000 That's cool.
00:49:43.000 No, it's fine.
00:49:43.000 That's chill.
00:49:45.000 But it's, yeah.
00:49:47.000 Well, her husband takes a sex plane over to Fiji.
00:49:51.000 If you're gonna fly, Dave.
00:49:53.000 That's true.
00:49:54.000 Air Epstein.
00:49:56.000 I noticed Casey didn't hit the allegedly button on this, sorry.
00:50:00.000 Why would you?
00:50:01.000 There's no allegedly.
00:50:04.000 In case a noose falls from the overhead compartment.
00:50:10.000 Secure yours first.
00:50:13.000 Before your child you've just had sex with.
00:50:20.000 Well, it's not like it's fake.
00:50:22.000 Anyway!
00:50:23.000 Alright.
00:50:26.000 Well, you know what I can say to these people, honestly?
00:50:29.000 There has to be thorough research done on this show because we are at risk of always being pulled off.
00:50:34.000 That's why Stephen was careful with his words yesterday and the day before.
00:50:39.000 That's why I'm careful... I'm not really that careful with my words, but... Careful-ish.
00:50:43.000 Ish.
00:50:44.000 Gerald is very careful with his words.
00:50:47.000 I think everybody on here is careful with their words.
00:50:49.000 But we do have a sincere point here, and the idea, too, that with the whole right-wing and taking that over, I have been very open about the fact that I have a left ideology that is very open.
00:51:01.000 I believe in God.
00:51:02.000 I believe in a lot of things.
00:51:04.000 But what is going on now and on that side has nothing to do with any principles involving freedom of speech or anything that I was raised to believe in or anything that I would have ever really considered democratic.
00:51:17.000 You're just part of a system that is dividing this country in half.
00:51:20.000 And I encourage you to stop allowing it.
00:51:23.000 That's all I can really say about it.
00:51:25.000 And I think that was more of Stephen's point yesterday, is open your eyes and stop blaming everything on one guy.
00:51:34.000 Just because you don't like his tweets.
00:51:37.000 But I miss his tweets.
00:51:38.000 I do miss his tweets.
00:51:39.000 They were freaking hilarious.
00:51:40.000 You know what I miss?
00:51:42.000 Hairy balls.
00:51:43.000 I'll tell you what.
00:51:44.000 I don't.
00:51:46.000 Just kidding.
00:51:46.000 That's the last thing I miss.
00:51:48.000 I do not miss them at all.
00:51:51.000 Because I don't know if you guys have heard, it's smooth sex summer.
00:51:56.000 Did you know that?
00:51:57.000 I did.
00:51:57.000 I actually, this is great.
00:51:59.000 Do you have a manscaped?
00:52:00.000 I do.
00:52:00.000 It's great, isn't it?
00:52:02.000 I love it.
00:52:02.000 I love it too.
00:52:03.000 Fantastic.
00:52:04.000 I like to watch you use it.
00:52:05.000 Oh, that's weird.
00:52:06.000 You don't know I'm there, but you have a tree with branches that They support my weight.
00:52:12.000 Not long.
00:52:16.000 It's just me with little binoculars.
00:52:19.000 You don't need them, Dave.
00:52:20.000 You don't need them.
00:52:20.000 Hey, Gerald.
00:52:24.000 My God, look at that thing.
00:52:26.000 I don't know if that's Dame Edna or Mrs. Doubtfire.
00:52:29.000 Doubtfire.
00:52:30.000 That's Doubtfire.
00:52:31.000 It's when she has the cream pile over her face.
00:52:34.000 Which is a weird... That was weird.
00:52:41.000 I realized the sentence after.
00:52:43.000 Now that's just called a movie.
00:52:45.000 Are you trying to say Mrs. Doubtfire may have used Manscaped?
00:52:48.000 I think Mrs. Doubtfire may have used Manscaped.
00:52:51.000 It is interesting if you think about that movie that no one noticed Robin Williams' forearm.
00:52:57.000 Did you notice Mrs. Doubtfire is a gorilla?
00:53:01.000 No, because she used Manscaped.
00:53:05.000 So when you're playing in the sun, make sure you're scaped from pubes to the bum.
00:53:11.000 With Lawn Mower Manscaped 4.0.
00:53:15.000 Use our discount code, Crowder20.
00:53:17.000 That's 20% off and free shipping at manscaped.com.
00:53:21.000 And I'm not kidding.
00:53:22.000 Guys, it's good.
00:53:23.000 It's got a light on it for when you want to shave in a tent or a porta potty.
00:53:30.000 Tell them about the Taint Guard, Dave.
00:53:32.000 There's a great Taint Guard.
00:53:33.000 I didn't know that that's what it was called.
00:53:34.000 Yeah.
00:53:35.000 It's actually a guy who comes to your house.
00:53:40.000 I don't think that fits in the box, Dave.
00:53:41.000 He's got a big hat.
00:53:44.000 That's a lawnmower 4.5.
00:53:46.000 I'm sorry, that's the thing I invented.
00:53:49.000 Lawnmower man 4.5.
00:53:50.000 But yeah, there is actually a safety guard, which is very important because me, I get real shaky still from not drinking.
00:53:58.000 And I don't want to, what's the word?
00:54:01.000 Slice my sack.
00:54:04.000 More of a phrase, really.
00:54:05.000 More of a phrase, yeah.
00:54:06.000 It's why I have it tattooed on my arm.
00:54:08.000 Don't slice your sack.
00:54:10.000 I told you you were going to regret that.
00:54:11.000 People go, I don't.
00:54:13.000 It reminds me.
00:54:13.000 People go, is that a song lyric?
00:54:15.000 And I go, it's not.
00:54:15.000 It's just a way of life.
00:54:17.000 So go ahead, again, manscaped.com, 20% off, plus free shipping.
00:54:22.000 Get yourself a shaver.
00:54:24.000 Guys, you need it.
00:54:25.000 We're gross.
00:54:26.000 Women are beautiful.
00:54:27.000 Honestly, they just look better than us.
00:54:29.000 So let's try to do something.
00:54:32.000 What are you doing, Tim?
00:54:37.000 It's nice for us, it's nice for you, and honestly, in the summer, especially in the Texas heat, I take a shower, I go outside for five minutes, and I'm like... That was a waste of time.
00:54:50.000 Is that my... was that my hair above?
00:54:53.000 Alright, anyways.
00:54:54.000 Well, look, really quickly, hey, thanks for supporting the sponsors who do have the Nicely shaven balls to sponsor this show.
00:55:01.000 We really appreciate that and thanks to all you guys.
00:55:04.000 We sell obviously merch as well.
00:55:06.000 We got a little bit of grief yesterday because people were like, oh you're promoting merch.
00:55:09.000 Yes.
00:55:11.000 We weren't promoting merch to take advantage of anything.
00:55:13.000 We were promoting merchandise because We did a Fight Like Hell shirt a long time ago, and we thought it was very, very relevant today for people to see what team you're on.
00:55:22.000 If you want to pick something else, fine.
00:55:23.000 But not everybody can subscribe, not everybody can join Mug Club, not everybody's going to go out and buy a Manscapedo.
00:55:28.000 You should try it if you like that stuff.
00:55:30.000 But you can buy a shirt.
00:55:31.000 You're going to buy shirts.
00:55:32.000 So that's something that we do.
00:55:33.000 So if you want to give us grief, go for it.
00:55:35.000 We're not out here.
00:55:36.000 This isn't a grift.
00:55:37.000 We've been doing this for years.
00:55:38.000 You understand our viewpoint for a decade.
00:55:40.000 Of course.
00:55:40.000 And complete transparency, I didn't even have to wear it.
00:55:44.000 I just spilled my morning spaghetti all over the one that I wore to work.
00:55:48.000 And they gave me it to wear as backup.
00:55:50.000 So that was just a coincidence.
00:55:51.000 Yeah, absolutely.
00:55:52.000 Lane, you know how I love my morning spaghetti.
00:55:54.000 Yeah, that's weird.
00:55:56.000 We have a good tradition that we have going on.
00:56:00.000 Lane and I have a full Italian... It's a nice pre-show ritual.
00:56:04.000 Goodfellas jail meal.
00:56:07.000 Yeah, it was great.
00:56:08.000 $27 million in merchandise sales just yesterday.
00:56:10.000 Weird.
00:56:10.000 Yeah, it's crazy.
00:56:12.000 All crypto.
00:56:14.000 It's like a shirt or two.
00:56:15.000 may not hold. And rubles. Yeah. It's all in Dogecoin.
00:56:18.000 Actually, it was Dongs. So, oh, the conversion. We got 27 million Vietnamese Dongs. Yeah.
00:56:25.000 So it's like, and some money.
00:56:27.000 That's like a shirt or two. So please send us your Vietnamese Dongs and we'll send you
00:56:36.000 Yeah, I love that it pisses off all the right people.
00:56:39.000 Yeah, thanks for everybody for retweeting our advertisement tweet with the promo code in it.
00:56:46.000 It's very nice of you.
00:56:47.000 Yeah, I'm really, really, really disheartened, bud.
00:56:50.000 I mean, no, don't do that anymore.
00:56:54.000 Yeah, please.
00:56:55.000 I don't want to make money.
00:56:56.000 We're really offended by all those retweets.
00:56:58.000 You're just helping us put out more content to kick your ass.
00:57:02.000 It's a business.
00:57:05.000 What do you want?
00:57:06.000 We have to make money.
00:57:07.000 The next headline will be funding the war through t-shirts.
00:57:14.000 Good lord.
00:57:15.000 I mean, don't go to see us live or anything, or go to DaveLanda.com, you know, Fort Charlotte, Florida, Fort Wayne, Indiana.
00:57:23.000 Oh no, don't do it!
00:57:25.000 Don't buy those shirts, they're terrible!
00:57:26.000 I heard they found, during the raid, I heard they found a Fight Like Hell t-shirt.
00:57:29.000 They did.
00:57:30.000 Oh yeah, they did.
00:57:31.000 And he's a Crowder fan, so that's, I mean... There's actually a piss-off YouTube.
00:57:38.000 Except it's just him pissing on you two.
00:57:40.000 He wanted the pleasure of doing it himself.
00:57:44.000 Yeah, that's not a Russian at all.
00:57:46.000 I'm sure they employ a Russian or two.
00:57:52.000 There's also, we're going to talk about this now, speaking of which, the FBI raid update.
00:57:57.000 I know that they're changing the word raid to shenanigans or trick-or-treating.
00:58:03.000 Yeah, take a picture of the definition online now before it gets changed.
00:58:08.000 Do it for posterity.
00:58:11.000 But comment, if you like, during this, please.
00:58:14.000 Just what you think about it.
00:58:17.000 What do you think about the FBI raid?
00:58:19.000 What word do you think they should use to describe it?
00:58:21.000 Maybe horseplay?
00:58:24.000 Shenanigans?
00:58:25.000 Tomfoolery?
00:58:26.000 Tomfoolery is a good one.
00:58:28.000 Gerald?
00:58:29.000 Afternoon tea.
00:58:30.000 Afternoon tea is a nice one.
00:58:32.000 I like that.
00:58:33.000 Are you into crumpets?
00:58:35.000 I am, yes.
00:58:36.000 Finger sandwiches are always great.
00:58:38.000 Like the salmon of Capistrano.
00:58:44.000 That's from Dumb and Dumber.
00:58:45.000 All right, so the facts are surrounding the FBI's raid of Mar-a-Lago.
00:58:50.000 Continue to roll in.
00:58:51.000 But according to the White House press secretary, Biden knew nothing about the, you know, the thing.
00:58:57.000 Can you tell us anything more?
00:58:58.000 Was he watching the news?
00:59:00.000 Was he scrolling Twitter?
00:59:01.000 Did someone in his staff flag it for him?
00:59:04.000 I can tell you this, he was not aware of the Mar-a-Lago raid, I don't know what you guys are calling it, before it happened.
00:59:17.000 So I can...
00:59:21.000 Oh, sorry, my headphones fell off.
00:59:23.000 I shouldn't have buttered them.
00:59:26.000 Sorry.
00:59:27.000 It's fine.
00:59:29.000 I know you like your buttered headphones.
00:59:30.000 You know I like a grist goat headphone.
00:59:34.000 Did she have a titty cast?
00:59:37.000 A what?
00:59:38.000 She had like a yellow or a pink...
00:59:41.000 I think it was the design of her clothing.
00:59:43.000 Oh, was it?
00:59:44.000 Thanks for taking that literally.
00:59:46.000 So the law professors have been critical of the raid and its pretext.
00:59:59.000 Clearly not a pedophile, Alan Dershowitz said, it was totally unjustified.
01:00:04.000 Even one FBI agent would have been too many.
01:00:08.000 Jonathan Torley said, This is a historic raid.
01:00:12.000 The public needs to know the reasons for the Justice Department's decisions.
01:00:18.000 William Jacobson said this is a provocation.
01:00:23.000 They are trying to get a reaction that allows a further crackdown.
01:00:28.000 The raid took more than nine hours, during which no one was allowed in Agent searched Melania's wardrobe.
01:00:37.000 I don't blame them.
01:00:38.000 Better count the panties.
01:00:41.000 Broke into Trump's safe, which was filled with Big Macs.
01:00:46.000 Rifled through drawers.
01:00:47.000 The warrant, however, only covered presidential records and evidence of classified information.
01:00:54.000 The location of which was already known.
01:00:59.000 Investigators went down to Mar-a-Lago and actually met with Trump's attorneys.
01:01:03.000 We are told it was back in early June, they believe, and they met with Trump's attorneys.
01:01:07.000 I am told that they were shown a room that had boxes of documents that were there, that days after they left Mar-a-Lago, they sent a letter to Trump's attorneys asking them to further secure the room.
01:01:19.000 That guy looks like Liam Neeson.
01:01:21.000 Just hit him with a gun.
01:01:24.000 I love this.
01:01:25.000 I love it.
01:01:25.000 It's like, what are you looking for here?
01:01:27.000 Oh, we're just, you know, boxes of documents.
01:01:29.000 Oh, you mean the ones that you looked at, you know, three or four weeks ago?
01:01:33.000 Yeah.
01:01:34.000 The ones that you told, said, Hey, put the padlock on the door that we put the padlock on the door for you that you provided.
01:01:39.000 That's right.
01:01:39.000 Those documents.
01:01:40.000 But we made a bigger deal now.
01:01:42.000 Yeah.
01:01:42.000 So you got to have agents there for nine hours to sort through this.
01:01:46.000 You gotta understand, Gerald, our poll numbers are way lower than they were when we came the first time.
01:01:50.000 I have a question.
01:01:52.000 If you wanted the Republican Party to unite behind Donald Trump more than they already were, potentially, right?
01:02:00.000 DeSantis is out there.
01:02:01.000 Trump is out there.
01:02:01.000 If Trump decides not to run, it's probably DeSantis' race to leave.
01:02:04.000 If Trump runs, he probably is the frontrunner.
01:02:07.000 Did you want Donald Trump to run again?
01:02:11.000 Because this just galvanized his support.
01:02:12.000 People that don't like Donald Trump are looking at this going, what the hell?
01:02:16.000 Absolutely not, I support this guy.
01:02:17.000 It's like what demonetization does for muggers.
01:02:20.000 Yes!
01:02:20.000 It's so stupid.
01:02:21.000 It rallies everybody.
01:02:23.000 It really makes very little sense.
01:02:24.000 But I think that we really want to know the real reasons they were in there.
01:02:28.000 and here are seven plus reasons the feds really raided Mar-a-Lago.
01:02:33.000 You forgot Vivan in the chamber!
01:02:40.000 There's always one in the chamber.
01:02:42.000 Every single time.
01:02:43.000 Number seven.
01:02:45.000 They wanted to stop him from putting ketchup on a well-done steak.
01:02:49.000 That's fair.
01:02:49.000 That's fair.
01:02:50.000 A-1's there for a reason.
01:02:51.000 It's true.
01:02:52.000 It's true.
01:02:52.000 And it isn't.
01:02:53.000 Unless you're a terrible quarterback in Kansas City.
01:02:55.000 That's true.
01:02:56.000 Number six, Gerald.
01:02:58.000 To seize the Valentine's Day card Steve Bannon gave to him.
01:03:02.000 Hugs and kisses.
01:03:05.000 Crawdaddy, give me a five.
01:03:07.000 To find his 4D chess board.
01:03:09.000 Oh!
01:03:09.000 Boom!
01:03:14.000 Lay in the brink and hit me with a four?
01:03:16.000 Number four, I mean, it was the only way they could afford a vacation in Florida in this economy.
01:03:20.000 That's actually true.
01:03:21.000 Gas is high.
01:03:22.000 It is extremely true.
01:03:24.000 Number three, to steal gold from his toilets to back the U.S.
01:03:29.000 dollar.
01:03:32.000 Look, if you're going to spend some time in a room on a seat, might as well be gold.
01:03:36.000 Yes, of course.
01:03:37.000 Well, it's true.
01:03:38.000 Number two, Crawdaddy.
01:03:40.000 They wanted the Apprentice Season 8 sex tape of Dennis Rodman and Joan Rivers.
01:03:44.000 I like that tape.
01:03:45.000 Nobody wants that.
01:03:46.000 Nobody wants that tape.
01:03:47.000 I can just see me after the show.
01:03:48.000 No!
01:03:50.000 I wonder who has worse hair.
01:03:51.000 Alright, so, uh... He's in a wedding dress with a hole cut in it?
01:03:55.000 Yeah.
01:03:58.000 So terrible.
01:04:00.000 Number one.
01:04:02.000 To get their DVDs of Home Alone 2 Lost in New York signed except the one guy who brought the little rascals.
01:04:08.000 How dare he.
01:04:11.000 And of course, the number one reason.
01:04:15.000 Lane.
01:04:16.000 The plus one reason.
01:04:17.000 Oh sorry, the plus one.
01:04:20.000 It's because Mar-a-Lago is wonderful.
01:04:22.000 It's just the greatest.
01:04:23.000 You can ask anyone and they'll say, this place is the greatest.
01:04:27.000 There you go.
01:04:28.000 And that is 7 plus 1 reasons that we believe the FBI raided Mar-a-Lago.
01:04:34.000 You forgot to turn in the chamber!
01:04:41.000 Always, always forgetting the one in the chamber.
01:04:43.000 So, uh...
01:04:45.000 Do you think we do this maybe next week?
01:04:48.000 I think maybe we save it for tomorrow.
01:04:50.000 So we're going to talk about some lonely single men either tomorrow or next week.
01:04:54.000 It's a pretty good segment.
01:04:55.000 We don't want to rush through it.
01:04:56.000 There's a lot of great information.
01:04:57.000 No, there's really good stuff in here.
01:04:58.000 There's apparently a lot of very lonely single men out there.
01:05:02.000 Yes, there are.
01:05:02.000 I think Stephen would be interested in talking about this too.
01:05:05.000 Yes.
01:05:05.000 It's really good stuff and fabulously funny at the same time.
01:05:08.000 Yeah.
01:05:09.000 One of our researchers, Kevin, is fantastic.
01:05:12.000 So he wants to be able to talk about lonely single men.
01:05:15.000 I actually just got me a bass, a Squier jazz bass, and I've been playing it, and I just kind of want, I was talking to Casey about it, and I just can't, I can't finger a guitar like I used to.
01:05:29.000 Mr. Guitar, he's my neighbor.
01:05:32.000 I, um... It's dexterity.
01:05:35.000 It's a perishable skill, Dave.
01:05:38.000 No, it's just my figures are very ladylike and long, so they work better on a bass, believe it or not.
01:05:42.000 Really?
01:05:43.000 Yeah, so I, uh... Can you slap it like the Seinfeld track?
01:05:46.000 I'm trying to, I'm not big... That's a great sound.
01:05:48.000 It really is, and I'm a huge fan of Les Claypool, who's like the king of the bass slap, and just probably the greatest bassist ever.
01:05:55.000 I heard a guy last weekend that was just stellar.
01:05:58.000 Really?
01:05:58.000 Upright bass, and then switched to the Oh, did you really?
01:06:02.000 I just love the sound.
01:06:03.000 Also, I like that it's like, it can be upbeat, jammy, and also like extraordinarily melancholy.
01:06:09.000 Yes.
01:06:09.000 So maybe I could play bass too while we talk about lonely men.
01:06:12.000 And their suicide rates.
01:06:17.000 Where's my friends?
01:06:18.000 I got no one.
01:06:22.000 Maybe, maybe not.
01:06:23.000 No?
01:06:24.000 Maybe not.
01:06:24.000 We were just bringing a lonely guy.
01:06:26.000 Yeah.
01:06:26.000 Hi, I'm lonely guy.
01:06:28.000 Let's see if we can break you, lonely man.
01:06:30.000 That's pretty interesting.
01:06:34.000 That guy's probably lonely.
01:06:35.000 Well... Because you know his face.
01:06:40.000 They tried to murder John Bolton?
01:06:43.000 I'm kidding, of course.
01:06:44.000 He's a very handsome man for CNN.
01:06:48.000 The Iranians are just fun.
01:06:49.000 Baggage.
01:06:50.000 Fun.
01:06:50.000 What is just going on in the Middle East?
01:06:53.000 That's what I say.
01:06:54.000 What the heck?
01:06:55.000 Is that the Middle East?
01:06:56.000 It is.
01:06:56.000 I'll do it.
01:06:56.000 He's kidding.
01:06:57.000 Nuance.
01:06:57.000 There's nuance.
01:06:58.000 You know, that's what I said. He also said there was a second job
01:07:02.000 Is that the police which is to pay up to a million dollars to carry out perhaps another?
01:07:07.000 Assassination, so that's what the concern of the FBI we've heard
01:07:11.000 Me wise there's nuance. Oh, sorry. Give me a million Vietnamese dongs and I'll take them out
01:07:19.000 You can buy a burger.
01:07:21.000 Oh, there's the Thundercat.
01:07:22.000 And who's on the left there?
01:07:24.000 Murphy Brown?
01:07:27.000 Boy, that's dated.
01:07:28.000 I know, right?
01:07:30.000 A little bit.
01:07:30.000 There are three fans that got us.
01:07:34.000 No, she's very old now.
01:07:36.000 She's very, very... Oh!
01:07:38.000 Farmer John Bacon, $6.99.
01:07:39.000 What are you guys trying to do here?
01:07:44.000 $1.99, are those good apples or the kind of apples you throw at cars?
01:07:49.000 I love it.
01:07:49.000 By the way, the tagline there, inflation slows to eight and a half percent.
01:07:54.000 It's still in the stratosphere.
01:07:57.000 That's fine.
01:07:57.000 What does that normally take, seven years?
01:08:01.000 Exactly.
01:08:03.000 At this pace, we'll be dead by the time it gets back to normal.
01:08:06.000 Thanks.
01:08:07.000 It's a real win, Joseph R. Biden.
01:08:09.000 I want people to know who are watching.
01:08:13.000 Son, you're not going to college.
01:08:16.000 I'm just cashing that in.
01:08:18.000 Let's just say that now.
01:08:20.000 It's ridiculous.
01:08:21.000 I hope you have a good set of skills that can keep you employed.
01:08:25.000 Because I will not.
01:08:25.000 I don't care.
01:08:26.000 I hope you're an art thief.
01:08:30.000 It's not gonna work.
01:08:31.000 Why?
01:08:31.000 It's just, who cares?
01:08:33.000 Do you know how good of an art thief I am?
01:08:35.000 No.
01:08:36.000 Have you ever seen my gymnastics skills when it comes to lasers?
01:08:39.000 Can you still NFTs?
01:08:40.000 Oh yeah.
01:08:41.000 Yeah.
01:08:41.000 Oh yeah.
01:08:42.000 But are you as hot as Catherine Zeta-Jones going through the lasers?
01:08:45.000 Not as hot, but you'd be surprised about my curves.
01:08:48.000 Great ass!
01:08:50.000 Really?
01:08:54.000 No, I usually just trip immediately.
01:08:56.000 Yeah.
01:08:56.000 Oh, I set it off again.
01:08:58.000 Margot Robbie's doorbell.
01:08:59.000 Take me away, boys.
01:09:02.000 You again.
01:09:02.000 They don't even arrest me because they feel sad.
01:09:06.000 You know who I bet has some moves?
01:09:08.000 Who?
01:09:08.000 Rod Eddy.
01:09:09.000 I bet he's, oh yeah.
01:09:10.000 I think so.
01:09:12.000 Yeah, you're tall.
01:09:14.000 You're flexible, I hear.
01:09:18.000 As my wife helps me put on my sports shoes.
01:09:23.000 That seems to be running away from you.
01:09:25.000 Yeah, you're like, oh yeah, nothing like chronic pain to make me want to steal a painting.
01:09:30.000 Guys, all we just need is some hairspray, you know?
01:09:32.000 Spray that in the air, and we'll get the Mona Lisa.
01:09:35.000 Love it.
01:09:36.000 I don't even want them on at least. It's an ugly painting.
01:09:38.000 She's ugly. Sorry.
01:09:39.000 She's an ugly person.
01:09:40.000 She is.
01:09:40.000 She's got a bitch face.
01:09:42.000 She has a resting...
01:09:44.000 Plain hair.
01:09:45.000 Bitch face.
01:09:46.000 No hairspray. You can tell she didn't do it.
01:09:48.000 Well no, they didn't even wash it back then. It was an annual bath where they got...
01:09:53.000 Ugh, the dirt.
01:09:54.000 She's kind of a 1am in the morning.
01:09:55.000 at the bar hot.
01:09:57.000 She's not 11 hot.
01:10:00.000 No, no.
01:10:01.000 She's not even 11 to talk to.
01:10:03.000 Lane, I have genuine concern for you now.
01:10:06.000 Why?
01:10:07.000 She's a 1 a.m.
01:10:08.000 at the bar hot?
01:10:09.000 Yeah, like, you know, it's almost closing time.
01:10:11.000 I mean, she's still there.
01:10:12.000 She's got that look.
01:10:13.000 That means you've struck out for four hours.
01:10:16.000 Yeah, consistently.
01:10:19.000 Well, as Blaine and I would call that, it's called dating.
01:10:26.000 I'm just glad he didn't say, she's not a 2 a.m.
01:10:28.000 at the bar last chance hot.
01:10:29.000 You wait for all your friends to leave with attractive ones, then you're... No, AOC is like a 2 a.m.
01:10:34.000 at the bar hot.
01:10:34.000 Yeah.
01:10:35.000 We're talking.
01:10:35.000 Yeah.
01:10:36.000 We can get into that next time.
01:10:38.000 4 a.m.
01:10:38.000 You just slide on over to that ditch pig and you're like, what's up girl?
01:10:45.000 Give her a fake name.
01:10:47.000 Rent a hotel that's not more than $30.
01:10:49.000 For the hour?
01:10:51.000 You know what I mean?
01:10:52.000 What are you going to do with the rest of the 58 minutes?
01:10:56.000 Just saying, it's not a bad... Dig a shallow grave?
01:10:59.000 Yeah, it's not a bad idea, it's a terrible idea.
01:11:02.000 It's a great idea.
01:11:03.000 It's not.
01:11:05.000 What do I know?
01:11:06.000 I've been dated in 20... Oh my god, I haven't dated in 20 years.
01:11:13.000 I don't even care anymore.
01:11:14.000 I don't even know what I talk about.
01:11:15.000 I'd be on one date and they'd be like, so what's your pronouns?
01:11:18.000 I'd be like, I don't know.
01:11:19.000 I'm leaving.
01:11:20.000 Is that a pronoun?
01:11:21.000 You're paying?
01:11:22.000 Yeah.
01:11:22.000 Here's the bill.
01:11:23.000 They say you should have a date night every week with your wife.
01:11:26.000 Do they say that?
01:11:27.000 How's Tammy doing?
01:11:28.000 Who are they?
01:11:29.000 She's alright.
01:11:30.000 Is there a date in her future or something?
01:11:32.000 There's a little health stuff.
01:11:35.000 But yeah, it's a picnic.
01:11:39.000 I want to go over and do a picnic.
01:11:41.000 Can you call it a pic-a-nic, please?
01:11:43.000 A pic-a-nic.
01:11:43.000 There you go.
01:11:44.000 Yeah, I want to have Yogi swipe some baskets.
01:11:46.000 Appreciate that.
01:11:47.000 And yeah, we're going to have boo-boo.
01:11:50.000 I'm not even going to go there.
01:11:51.000 Boo-boo.
01:11:52.000 Can't do it.
01:11:56.000 So if you're picketing biscuits, you can bang your wife.
01:11:59.000 Alright, so here's what we're going to talk about right now, though, speaking of dates and just great things.
01:12:07.000 Netflix has released a lot of movies that are pretty exciting.
01:12:11.000 I really enjoyed the Woodstock documentary, 99.
01:12:14.000 I'm going to get out of here.
01:12:14.000 I actually had tickets and at the time I was staying with my aunt who was well my uncle more or less forbade me to go
01:12:21.000 And boy after watching the documentary am I glad I didn't But there's another one out that I really think we have to
01:12:30.000 show because we have crawdaddy here And it is a trailer for where the crawdads sing
01:12:36.000 I'm going to get out of here One way or the other
01:12:43.000 What what is what is happening you
01:12:48.000 You know what?
01:12:51.000 I don't feel comfortable with this.
01:12:54.000 No, listen.
01:12:55.000 Dad, stop it.
01:12:55.000 That's enough.
01:12:56.000 That's very good.
01:12:57.000 My size 15 pump, Steven.
01:12:58.000 That's very good.
01:12:59.000 My size 15 pumps, do you?
01:13:06.000 I love it.
01:13:11.000 I think it looks good.
01:13:12.000 I'm gonna watch it.
01:13:13.000 What do you think?
01:13:14.000 I think it looks good.
01:13:15.000 I'm in.
01:13:16.000 I hope you enjoyed that.
01:13:18.000 I did.
01:13:19.000 I had to do it.
01:13:20.000 I kept seeing the book at the... I didn't see it in run through.
01:13:24.000 I thought something was afoot.
01:13:27.000 I kept seeing it in the bookstore, and then once I realized it was a Netflix movie, I was like, oh, I gotta do this.
01:13:31.000 Like, it's gotta be.
01:13:32.000 Darren, I didn't even know what that was.
01:13:36.000 These guys kinda, I had no idea.
01:13:38.000 I have no idea what the movie's about, I just like the title.
01:13:41.000 I just don't want him to beat me up.
01:13:43.000 No.
01:13:43.000 Oh, I know he could kill me, but that's why I knew he'd laugh.
01:13:46.000 If I thought he'd hurt me, I wouldn't have done it.
01:13:49.000 But yes, please, comment, comment, comment.
01:13:52.000 You can check us out, obviously, every day, 10 a.m.
01:13:56.000 Eastern-ish right here on Rumble, The Blaze, YouTube, if you want, whatever.
01:14:03.000 But I would prefer You know, rumbly-dumbly there, whatever it is you do.
01:14:08.000 Also, catch me August 26th, 27th, Fort Wayne, Indiana, in the first week of September.
01:14:12.000 You can catch me in Port Charlotte, Florida, at a little place called Vasonic.
01:14:16.000 They have really good food.
01:14:17.000 I don't know if you like Italian food, but if you don't, you're an idiot.