This week on the show, the boys are joined by Evan Breneman, Corda Black Garrett, Audio Wade, and Gerald A. Allen to talk about the latest in the Trump administration, including the latest White House press briefing, the latest on the Iran deal, and much, much more.
00:02:30.000And what else are we going to be talking about?
00:02:31.000We'll also be talking about, oh, just showing some of the video from the best Trump presser of this week.
00:02:38.000Let me know if you would like, I've thought about us just running the Trump press briefings, just because I want to do the job that the media won't when CNN cuts out from it.
00:02:45.000So I know it's not what we do, obviously it's an entertainment comedy channel, but maybe here or at Crowder Bits where you can subscribe, we might just run a feed from one of the public networks.
00:04:45.000So to check out this product, go to your favorite search engine and type in BEDS.
00:04:48.000Use the promo code ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Brennan, do you use a bed?
00:07:40.000President Trump wants to defund the World Health Organization.
00:07:43.000I don't want to say that this show influences heads of state, but we were kind of early on the China thing and World Health Organization, and then you see it kind of It was sort of parroted on Fox News from people who were not talking about that even beforehand.
00:07:56.000And then Donald Trump's like, you know what?
00:07:58.000I think we should look into the who's.
00:08:00.000No more Dahu During for those sons of bitches.
00:08:05.000I'm not even going to leave a crumb that's too small for a mouse.
00:09:38.000Communism is the enemy of the American people.
00:09:40.000And communist sympathizers are the enemy of the American people.
00:09:44.000That means the World Health Organization.
00:09:45.000And that means the media who carries their water.
00:09:47.000If you are a member of the media, and you are excoriating our president at this point for simply saying that we should defund the World Health Organization, you're a communist sympathizer.
00:09:57.000There is Team America, and there is Team Communists who don't even acknowledge that Taiwan exists.
00:10:02.000So, when given the option of funding communist propaganda or not, usually I choose to, well, to not.
00:10:12.000And forgive us for looking at history and saying, well, look, this is a failed ideology that leads to millions of its citizens being killed and oppressed and typically ends very poorly in World War.
00:10:34.000It's not like, give or take, another 40, rounding.
00:10:39.000But in the realm of history, we look back at like, oh, you look back at the Romans and the Ottomans, you're talking about a very large gap compared to how long it's been since our last world war.
00:15:18.000No place on earth at this point, well I don't know about other countries, no place in the United States, I should say, needed 40,000 ventilators.
00:15:39.000Because they hate Donald Trump, that they can't help themselves.
00:15:42.000Wait a second, you do know that the World Health Organization, like they're parroting communist propaganda points and they you know they refuse
00:15:46.000to acknowledge Taiwan it's like no I I know I side with them because you don't
00:15:52.000Donald Trump I can't help it there's nothing there's nothing I could do he said
00:15:56.000they don't he said he didn't like them I have to defend them which Donald Trump
00:16:01.000has gotten say I don't like Hitler and just watch them tear themselves apart
00:17:18.000But moms and dads still work from home sometimes, so I'm saying there's caveats.
00:17:22.000Even, Brendan, I'm hoping this might be one of those things where you catch something we miss because we, you know... Do you know what he thought was offensive in that statement?
00:17:28.000No, but I guess I don't see his point, though, because like...
00:17:32.000Summer is supposed to be only three months, not like the whole year?
00:17:36.000No, my whole point was that in summer, the exact same number of kids are out and we deal with it for three months and it's not that big of a deal.
00:18:38.00090% of Republicans, 60% of Democrats, and 70% of Independents believe that China is responsible for the spread of the virus, according to the most recent Harris poll.
00:20:09.000This is remarkable to me that the media has no understanding that the American public don't trust them and don't trust the World Health Organization.
00:20:16.000Yeah, and they feel like they're the ones that are the arbiters of truth.
00:20:18.000They're out there just like putting it out there like, oh yeah, of course, everybody trusts us.
00:20:21.000We're out here doing our job and standing up against the lies of this media.
00:21:29.000So he came to our house, and he had to sit there, and we took care of him for about a week, and he was going, my knee, my leg really hurts, and we're trying to figure out what's wrong with it, if we have to call the hospital, what we need to do, elevate his leg, and he didn't tell us that he had ratcheted it down like a camper van.
00:21:45.000Why would you put on a hitch and I then finally I lift up his pant legs and it looks like like like I
00:21:51.000would imagine like Kathy Bates varicose veins you know in the bottom of her like is it varicose veins
00:21:55.000or is it spider veins it's the same I'm not necessarily but you know the veins of fat people
00:22:00.000yes particularly old fat women my aunt had that that's what your leg looked like yeah and he just
00:22:04.000didn't think to let us know like oh wait maybe you should know that I tied it down with a rope
00:22:10.000and then used a hockey skate ratcheting tool.
00:22:13.000I thought putting a tourniquet on my leg would actually help it.
00:23:32.000But what you didn't see, unless you watched a cheap sort of local Fox affiliate stream, which is what I usually do, local Fox, local CBS, you know, media that shouldn't exist anymore.
00:23:54.000They have a wonderful beat reporter whose name escapes me.
00:24:00.000Um, so if you watch one of these local affiliates, they don't have the budget for, you know, the Michael Bay camera swoops.
00:24:06.000And so all they have is one shot that just does this.
00:24:10.000And so they didn't show the feed of the video, they showed the actual whole room with Donald Trump presenting this video.
00:24:18.000with a timeline presenting it to the media.
00:24:20.000And here's what's so amazing about this.
00:24:21.000And we'll just we'll play this and I want everyone if you haven't seen it, what's amazing is that he is doing this with the people who are being highlighted in that video as morons in the room.
00:24:33.000And then a couple times he looks at them and points at them.
00:24:36.000So this is, again, you need to, this is the kind of thing that everyone needs to be seeing.
00:24:41.000You don't just want to see the Windows Movie Maker crappy video made by a White House intern.
00:24:45.000The entertainment factor here is watching Trump present.
00:24:48.000It's like the inception of petty assholery.
00:28:49.000Look, he keeps looking someone in the eye at about his 5 o'clock.
00:28:54.000uh... five o'clock the the the president the vice president for doing a really
00:28:57.000good job of the issue it's a good uh...
00:29:02.000and now he's definitely walks back slowly Look.
00:29:04.000So we could give you hundreds of clips like that from governors, including Democratic or Democrat as I call them governors, which is actually the correct term.
00:29:47.000It is like you having your nose rubbed in the carpet where you peed.
00:29:52.000And so many people were like, I can't believe that he would do something like that in the midst of this crisis, that he would go out there and start off a press briefing like, have you watched what you've said about this president?
00:30:47.000People can say he's bombastic, but Donald Trump hasn't aged since he's become president.
00:30:51.000Even if you compare him to Barack Obama or George W. Bush, he came in as bombastic, as not super articulate, but he is surprisingly quick on his feet sometimes.
00:32:59.000But it's amazing to me that this is the coverage right now.
00:33:02.000I understand that you don't want to cover the fact that you were bent over and effectively pretty sexually accosted like Joe Biden circa 93.
00:33:12.000We're in 2019, what are you talking about?
00:33:14.000Think about how uncomfortable that would be to be a member of the press and have the president show your misdeeds, show your quote saying, this is not as bad as the flu, and then look you in the eye like, remember it!
00:34:49.000As you are a coffee guru, Steven, and because of anxiety and caffeine sensitivity, do you know of any decaf coffees that don't remind me of Wade's carried obsession?
00:37:23.000So, that means typically, like, you know, people who have, um, obviously, like, disease, like, terminal illnesses, or people who are, you know, mentally retarded.
00:37:33.000But all of that goes out the window because Jimmy Carter was president.
00:37:37.000So, it would be the one time where I could, not that I have a dream of laying into mentally retarded people, but I would be able to see what works when making fun of a mentally retarded person to the mentally retarded face.
00:37:51.000A few months back there was a time when Jimmy Carter was in the hospital because he had a bunch of pressure on his brain, and I think we did a joke on the show.
00:39:58.000Old people, people who are already sick, people with diabetes, quarantine them because that'll also benefit them long term if we develop some kind of a herd immunity.
00:40:15.000The only thing that we're doing right now is slowing down, maybe overrunning the hospitals, which really isn't happening right now, and maybe that's because of the efforts.
00:40:22.000But I don't think he can lose votes, but I think that the media will look for every single possible opportunity.
00:40:29.000Wait, hold on a second, hold on a second.
00:40:30.000the economy up. And I know we say that, he can't technically do all of that. It's really going to
00:40:33.000go down to the states where it should be to say, hey, this is what we're going to do. I'm fine if
00:40:37.000New York and California stay closed a little longer. They have more cases than anybody else.
00:40:40.000So that's totally fine. But I think what they'll do is they'll look for the one.
00:42:31.000First, you acknowledge Taiwan, you apologize, you cut the debt in half that anybody owes you at this point, you pay reparations, and you start funding the World Health Organization, and you know what?
00:43:00.000This is as close to an act of war what China has been doing at this point as we have seen in the modern age.
00:43:05.000Think about the Cold War and what we were afraid of.
00:43:07.000Obviously nuclear weapons, but that's already happened now at this point.
00:43:10.000China just needs to buddy up with the right people, by the way.
00:43:15.000You can't even find a nuclear weapon outside of this hemisphere.
00:43:19.000And it is remarkable that this is just more proof they expect the United States to front the world health care bills, medical innovation, we're the ones who have to come up with a vaccine, and we're the ones who have to fund the organization that lied to us about the disease and denied the only information that was actually accurate in December because of political motivations when it comes to Taiwan.
00:43:37.000Why would we ever take part in anything the World Health Organization does?
00:43:50.000Now Donald Trump looks like he was, not prophetic, but he could see the future, like he was pulling out of some of these deals with China on purpose and saying, these guys are really, really horrible, we shouldn't be dealing with them this way, and it's because, oh my god, he was looking at them objectively.
00:44:15.000During Wednesday's press briefing in Beijing, Chinese foreign ministry spokesman Zhao Lijian said President Donald Trump... That's pretty good.
00:45:18.000So, Donald Trump's decision to cut U.S.
00:45:23.000contributions to the WHO, this comes from ABC News, to the World Health Organization, would impact all countries across the globe, especially the more vulnerable ones.
00:45:47.000They're not saying, hey, the World Health Organization helps the most vulnerable countries in the world.
00:45:52.000What they're saying is, the World Health Organization entirely relies on the United States subsidization to fund the most vulnerable countries in the world.
00:46:01.000China, why don't you take care of them?
00:46:03.000Any Islamic nations, by the way, pick one ever!
00:46:06.000Are they helping the most vulnerable countries in the world?
00:46:08.000Why does it fall on the United States?
00:46:20.000We need to give you security, we need to overpay into NATO, and then, now, for some reason, we have to pay a propaganda wing of the Chinese government and the World Health Organization, or it's our fault that people have to dig wells in Zambia.
00:46:34.000How about you go screw yourself, China?
00:47:19.000When, can you imagine anyone, anyone, can you imagine the Mongolians going like, ah, hey, yeah, China, could you not, could you take down the law?
00:47:28.000It's kind of tough for us, but oh, sorry, my bad, my bad.
00:47:51.000You say, please don't rape us and pillage our stuff.
00:47:54.000The United States is the only world superpower.
00:47:57.000By the way, the only world superpower who fled the world's greatest superpower one century to become the only global superpower the next century.
00:48:05.000And we've left places better than we found them.
00:55:58.000And this happens, and I'm always, like, I don't want to, since I often get recognized, particularly at gas stations, people feel like there's this weird connection, so they can just talk, like, for 20 minutes.
00:56:31.000I accidentally pull it, and as I'm getting out of the car, I notice that it looks like a crotchal, like a piece, like I've urinated myself.
00:56:37.000And I walk out, and there's this girl who's Latino.
00:56:45.000And she looks at me, and she looks at me like this.
00:56:46.000She looks, and she goes, because the door opened up, and I was playing NPR very loudly, because that's what has to keep me awake.
00:56:53.000She opened the door, and she looks at me like this, and does that.
00:57:00.000And so right away, without thinking, I actually, like, I acted, like, because I wanted her, I thought, she's only seen it for a split second, so she doesn't know what's happening here.
00:59:00.000And I remember my dad taking this, because some idiot at the gym, you know, my dad played hockey, he always worked out, he's always been in shape, but he didn't even drink coffee.
00:59:06.000Someone just said, hey, take this Ultimate Orange.
01:00:58.000But not for the reasons that most don't.
01:01:01.000Um, Chris Cuomo, uh, he, this week, if you hadn't been following, uh, he trashed his, he trashed his job, but not the way that you think, saying that he didn't want to be involved with hyper-partisan politics anymore.
01:01:12.000He didn't like, well, play the audio clip, but the context here is he actually thinks that CNN is not left enough.
01:01:19.000So that changes it a little bit, especially with the follow-up.
01:01:22.000Let's roll the clip of good old Chris Cuomo.
01:01:24.000I don't want to spend my time doing things that I don't think are valuable enough to me.
01:03:45.000I think this is a guy who really wants to be a hyper-partisan.
01:03:47.000He doesn't think that CNN is a hyper-partisan enough, because he's never seen a Laura Kyron's, because he doesn't have a monitor, so he thinks that he has.
01:04:43.000Oh, by the way, by the way, the random biker guy he rants about, I guess it was an actual person, he ranted about, came forward, filed a police report, he caught Cuomo, this just came, this is breaking, he caught Cuomo violating quarantine and Cuomo had a meltdown and told him that he'd fined him.
01:05:30.000I would welcome you on the show, and I know I would be respectful, civil, but I don't expect you would be, so we can also just have, you know, a Wrestlemania for all I want.
01:06:09.000On one day's notice, not only will I host you on this show, but I would gladly allow you to find me in a sanctioned match.
01:06:16.000He always talks about his training, too, by the way.
01:06:18.000There's an interview here where he's talking about how he does CrossFit and how he trains MMA, but where he trains MMA is more like street defense, like it's really tough.
01:06:34.000You get paid six million dollars a year to go on CNN and a guy catches you violating quarantine, which by the way you have espoused should be against the law.
01:06:45.000He blows the whistle on you and you threaten him with violence on a nationally publicized program, which you then walk back?
01:07:05.000So you punch someone who doesn't even work in the industry, and then you immediately cower when someone at CNN tells you, you can't do that.
01:07:44.000If you've watched any media, if you're working at CNN or MSNBC, do you not watch the other
01:07:49.000people to kind of see what's going on a little bit?
01:07:51.000There is nothing that I can think of that is worse than him on CNN.
01:07:55.000Maybe Stelter is worse on CNN than he is, and maybe Tapper at times, but maybe Stelter is worse.
01:08:02.000Stelter is the fat closeted gay Chris Cuomo.
01:08:06.000You can say a lot of things about Chris Cuomo, but the only two things you can't say about him are that he's morbidly obese and closeted homosexual.
01:08:15.000But you can say those about Brian Stelter, which is why I wouldn't want to fight him.
01:08:22.000Yeah, it would be punching down and punching in and then trying to retrieve it from the amoebic mass that is Brian Stelter's just... I bet you it would be very hard to suplex.
01:08:32.000Because he'd be like grabbing a giant bar of soil.
01:09:45.000I've been doing pull-ups where I completely remove the lat from the equation, and it's just a violent kipping movement, and my lower back's pretty sore, but I ice bath it.
01:12:31.000I've noticed conservatives slash libertarians seem to have a more finely tuned BS radar than Democrats when it comes to news stories and life in general.
01:12:42.000I think it's really simple and I think the World Health Organization, and I appreciate your question.
01:12:45.000I think this whole World Health Organization debacle just shows it for what it is, in that the left believes in the value of the collective over the individual.
01:12:52.000And any kind of an ideology that values the power and freedom, liberty of the individual over the collective is, by the very nature, going to be individualistic.
01:13:02.000And this is why it's so funny to me when people say, oh, I'm not left or right, I take them on an issue-by-issue basis, like there's some kind of a free thing.
01:13:10.000It is actually being an individualist and understanding that every single person is different.
01:13:15.000Now, we tend to share the same values, of course, on free market principles, on what the legitimate role of government is, but the reason that we believe in shrinking those roles and shrinking taxes and shrinking government intrusion, any kind of public intrusion, is because we understand that individuals should be left to make their own decisions because we believe that they tend to do it better than a bureaucracy in Washington, D.C.
01:13:36.000Now, keep in mind, let's look at this right now.
01:13:39.000Now, the message you've been sold, right, between right and left, is from the left, from people like Chris Cuomo, who, granted, he hasn't been hyper-partisan enough, apparently.
01:13:48.000Can somebody please throw that man a lifeline?
01:13:52.000They say, well, you deny science, when really the conservatives are saying, hey, hold on a second.
01:13:56.000The planet can be warming, humans can be contributing, I just don't think that the Paris Agreement is going to fix it, and I don't think that China's going to play ball.
01:14:03.000So, that's an individual look at the issues.
01:14:05.000You have plenty of conservatives who Yeah.
01:15:59.000Yeah, and one of the things that we don't subscribe to as conservatives is there is some kind of elite class of people who know far, far, far better than anybody else what is good for us and how to implement it, right?
01:16:10.000We understand that, and if anything, we've learned this from small businesses around the country and in technology, that there are plenty of people that can be experts in their field that have great things to contribute.
01:16:18.000We don't need it to be the top person.
01:16:22.000Well, they always think that it's some ruling class who's going to fix it, provided it's the right person.
01:16:25.000I will say this, and I really do respect Joe Rogan for having taken his licks here, saying he would... He didn't say he would vote for Trump, by the way.
01:16:31.000That's a misreporting of what Joe Rogan said.
01:16:33.000He said he would probably prefer Trump over Biden.
01:16:59.000Point to a candidate that didn't make him morons.
01:17:01.000I'm not saying, by the way, I don't say we'd be fine if it was Trump.
01:17:05.000No, I'm saying I'm actually grateful that we have a president who wants to give more power to the states, who wants to give people more money in their pocket rather than taking their taxes.
01:17:12.000I want the guy who doesn't really need or want the job.
01:17:15.000And Joe Biden desperately needs this job.
01:17:18.000Because the other stop, it's the old folks home.
01:17:20.000And it's nice, they have pergolas, we saw them on CNN, but he'd rather be relevant until the state of being catatonic.
01:17:26.000Okay, we have to go right now to, not to a commercial, where we are going to play for the first time I believe in two years, Hipster or Hobo.
01:19:06.000So for people who aren't familiar, this is actually, I've noticed it's a striking, this was two years ago, now kind of everyone else knows this, striking similarity between hobos and hipsters to the point where it's almost difficult to tell the difference.
01:19:18.000And so, what is going to happen right now is Quarterback Garrett and Audio Wade, they are going to show us a picture, and we are all going to have to guess if it's a hipster or hobo.
01:21:02.000I hate that I have been put in the position right now where I have to make a judgment call without all the information available to me because we could lose our jobs, but I'm going to call it.