ANDREW CHAPADOS | Outsource Your Viewpoint with Melissa Tate
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Summary
In this week's episode of Andrew Says, we are joined by Melissa Tate to discuss the Florida bill that would stop sex ed being taught in public schools from 5 to 8 years old, and why this is absolutely ridiculous.
Transcript
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welcome back to another episode of andrew says this week we have melissa tate for the second
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time always fun to have guests back melissa how are you doing where are you where are you up to
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these days i'm doing great thank you so much for having me of course i mean so what's that of
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course of course we love to have you here happy to be here thank you and you're still in missouri
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is it no i'm actually in sunny florida now oh you're so lucky i'm so jealous let's start off
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with florida then i wanted to get your thoughts on this because the florida bill which is correct me
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if i'm wrong on any of this i've read a decent amount about it it's to stop uh sex education
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particularly about you know transgenderism and gender ideology and gender fluidity and all that
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wonderful stuff for kindergarten to grade three so that i think is five-year-old to eight-year-old
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that sort of range but the media is presenting it they they have this phrase that don't say gay bill
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have you seen a lot of that coverage yes i have and i actually think that the bill doesn't go far
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enough because it really only stops at the at the third grade which i think it should actually go all
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the way up to high school because this is something that i don't feel that schools should be teaching
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in schools this is this is something that a parent should be speaking to their children about it is
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not something that is supposed to be taught and indoctrinated into a child's life so i think it's
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absolutely ridiculous but yes obviously the left will characterize this as don't don't say gay
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because they know how to frame things and that's the that's that's what we on the right need to learn
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is how to frame things and that's how the left operates when they have an issue that they're
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tackling they create a frame around it and they have framed this issue as don't say gay so the minute
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people hear hear about it they obviously think that this is something that is wrong and then when you
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look further into it you find out that this is something that protects children from five to
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eight years old from being indoctrinated into sexual orientation and transgenderism all things that have
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nothing to do with children you know what a man and a woman or a man and a man or a woman and a woman
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do in their bedrooms has nothing to do with children and the whole idea that you want to start introducing
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these ideas of of male and female are not are not uh solid biological facts to children you're so you're
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now imposing an ideology because this is something that um you know children wouldn't even think about
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unless you actually introduce it to them so we all know that this is an indoctrination agenda by the
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left they're starting to introduce this at a very very young age because i believe that they don't
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want um they they want to start at a young age so that people are by the time they grow up they're not
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even going to know the look at the world the way we've looked at it in all these years i mean we know that
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a man and a woman is a biological fact but when these kids grow up they're not even going to have
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that concept that's going to be a foreign concept to these children and it's it's devastating to see
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what's happening and the fact that the media and the left is out there screaming about this is
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absolutely ridiculous and it shows truly who these people are and i don't think they should be anywhere
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near children i was talking about this very issue with my friends the other day and you're saying
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about what they said which was probably not up till high school age a couple of them said grade seven
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or eight um that's splitting hairs i think but i'm not sure thinking back and i'm thinking back to when
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i was in high school and i think we had sex ed in grades seven and eight and then high school i'm not
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sure of what i actually learned in any of those classes excuse me so i'm not sure if it i haven't
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decided one way or the other but i'm not sure if it's necessary at all because once a child's in high
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school how much of it do they really not know maybe it's worth a week of classes two weeks of classes
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practicing safe sex i don't know a lot of it makes me kind of uncomfortable but i don't know how much
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a public school or a catholic school or anything like that needs to teach children about sex it kind
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of weirds me out to to think about the fact of some other adult teaching my child about sex
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yes how do you feel about that have you have you thought about whether it's needed at all
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i don't think it's needed at all because we didn't learn about when i was growing up in zimbabwe we
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that was something that a discussion you had with your parents you know i don't think this is something
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that should be outsourced to the government to talk about sex you know every um child is growing
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should be able to have this discussion with their parents instead of having it at school because
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when you're looking at it you know uh why is the government telling your children about what
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they should be thinking about sex in my opinion when i look at my children i want to be the first
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person to tell them about anything because the first person that tells them about any subject is
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going to have more power and more influence on that child so really what they're doing is they're
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trying to preempt that phase of when a parent gets to a point of that discussion with their children
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because when i think of my children they're still very young you know they're 10 and under i haven't
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even had that conversation with them because that stuff is not even on their radar but if they're
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starting to have these conversations at schools that means that these people are have now undercut me as
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a parent because i know when my children are ready to have that conversation based on their
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maturity level based on their age so it is something that a parent should be able to have that
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discussion with a school is not a place to you know teach math teach english teach um science all
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those things we don't need to be having teachers indoctrinating children about their sexual views about
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their views on sexuality you know it's absolutely ridiculous and and it's really sad to see that this is
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what has come of the public school system i don't know if it's the same there in canada but it is
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it is scary to watch as a parent i'm not sure when our starts i think they do have something starting
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in kindergarten which of course i would disagree with i wanted to ask you if you saw there's all
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these boycotts now that people want to have on florida the ncaa and espn espn had like a walkout
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and a moment of silence during one of their women's college basketball games and i was watching
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this and it was like the ladies that were the announcers they clearly hadn't read the bill they
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just said we're standing with our our fellow lgbt people at disney and they're reading off something
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courtney lyle carolyn peck now normally at this time we would take a look back at the first half but
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there are things bigger than basketball that need to be addressed at this time our friends our family
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our co-workers the players and coaches in our community are hurting right now and at three
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o'clock about eight minutes ago our lgbtqia plus teammates at disney asked for our solidarity
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and support including our company's support in opposition to the parental rights in education
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bill in the state of florida and similar legislation across the united states and a threat to any human
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rights is a threat to all human rights and at this time courtney and i we're going to take a pause
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from our broadcast to show our love and support for our friends our families and our colleagues
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i wonder how many people do you think actually have gone and read this they like you said they
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hear don't say gay and they just immediately think that it's a bad thing because of how it's been
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framed it reminded me of lebron james promoting um boycotts in atlanta and the mlb all-star game i
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think was taken out of atlanta when they were talking about voter suppression when it was actually
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voter id and changing the times that polls were open so they label something as sounding terrible
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which they always do and i wonder is there a responsibility for these adult women i would
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would assume they were at least in their 40s these women but they don't really have anything to
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anything uh about the actual bill on their mind they just they just see this and they're pushing
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it forward is there a responsibility for these people to actually you know inform themselves on
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these things and it sounds crazy to even suggest that you wouldn't be able to but how much of a
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responsibility do you think lies on these people they're calling for boycotts they're staging walkouts
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and they seemingly don't even know what's in it at all they called it an attack on parental rights which i
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thought was the opposite of what the actual bill was are you do you see a lot of that how do you feel
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about that yeah no absolutely they have a responsibility to learn what is in the bill but
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you know the left is that has our masters of deception so the way it's it is being framed in the
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media is and they know that people are not going to take the time to go study and actually see what it
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it is about people most people have outsourced their way of seeing the world through you know
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maybe an hour worth of news and i've seen this with my grant with my uh father-in-law who was living
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with us for a little bit and he just loves watching the six o'clock news he's got no concept of what's
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going on in the world except for what he watches on that 60 minutes worth of news that he turns on
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and then he turns off so he's basically outsourced his way of thinking and seeing the world and what's
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going on in the world just based on that one hour of mainstream media news and then he's off to you
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know watching whatever sports and whatever he doesn't really care about politics the way you and i do
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so he's not going to go out there and start trying to research what the don't say gay bill is and what
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it's really saying you know the don't say gay bill so this is your average american and they're just
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getting this information and the way it's portrayed and i actually had to i actually had
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to sit through and watch the six o'clock news with him because i would be cooking dinner and i had to
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listen to it what network was that on so painful it was so painful because the lies the misrepresentation
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the half truths it's unbelievable the level of indoctrination that is taking place or propaganda
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that is being put to the american people and when they actually uh spoke about this issue
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they had a teenage boy who was about 17 years old telling his story this is a teenage or transgender
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person a trans woman who is a biological male talking about this bill and how horrible it is and how he's
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not going to be able to express himself so right there you see that it is a deception because instead of
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putting a five-year-old they put a 17 year old so they're misrepresenting what this bill is about
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so the i mean even i didn't know you know and i'm somebody who follows politics when i first started
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hearing the don't say gay bill and i was just thinking and i actually thought that's what it was
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called and i was thinking well why are republicans doing this this is like shooting yourself in the foot
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and then when i started actually reading up on it and i found out what it's about i was like wow this
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is totally what it is not being presented out there to be but i'm just unique in that you know i'm a
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political junkie and i'm sure many of your audience follow politics and they're into it but the average
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person is not going out there to actually see what this is about so like you're saying the women that
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you're talking about they're just on this bandwagon they've just been hearing it on every platform and
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and because the left controls so much so many spheres of influence they're able to put it out
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everywhere whether it is in media in entertainment in education everywhere it is everywhere within a
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flash and people don't even take the time to go out there and actually look what it is about
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they just take in the information that is being spread through all these spheres of influence on
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social media on media entertainment education everything and they just run with it and then by the
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time the truth tries to catch out you know it's it's already gone so far like you're saying so it's
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a tragedy but we just have to continue to speak the truth and continue to put the truth out there and
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i've seen a lot of people now now you're starting to see people are starting to push back and say no
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this is about third uh kindergarten through third grade even though i feel like it doesn't go far enough
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well with this leah thomas stuff and the swimming there by the way the score of that ncaa basketball
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game was 44 to 4 so maybe they needed to just uh they need to spice and spice it up with some boycotts
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but leah thomas losing the ncaa finals fifth place and last place and i'd like to point out the only
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person that he lost to before that was another transgender person which was female to male let me know how
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that worked out one of the teammates said that um they they staged that they rigged that but now he
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loses two two uh two races in the finals that people thought he was going to win and people are
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really up in arms in the last tournament where he uh where he won by like five seconds and to your
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point where you think people are starting to really notice now this i think was the was the biggest
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reaction i've i've seen from people on something regarding this because it's young girls they've been
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swimming their whole lives you know waking up at 5 a.m probably because swimmers are crazy like that
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and there's this one girl named rika georgia i have that written down she says it's unfair she's she
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came in 17th in the uh the regional tournament or whatever it was before the finals and therefore
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she didn't make it to the national finals because the top 16 are the ones that go and now you're seeing
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people actually stand up and speak out against this thing so it seems like there's going to be
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maybe some pushback maybe this is where it all starts to stop because once one girl speaks out i
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think more people are going to speak out and i wanted to transition that into talking about the book you
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were talking about the last time you were on here you were telling me you have an audio book coming
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do you want to tell people about that and it was um i forget the title you tell me
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uh choice privilege choice privilege yeah you want to tell people about how that's being released now
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sorry what's that you want to tell people how that's being released now you said it was on an
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audio book now yeah absolutely yeah so choice privilege is the book that i wrote which basically
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pushes back on the idea of critical race theory and white privilege and actually exposes it for
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what it is which is cultural marxism and as somebody who grew up in zimbabwe came to the united
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states as a 19 year old with nothing but a suitcase 300 in my pocket paid my way through college
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hard work determination started a business became successful i know that america is a great place
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for anybody no matter what color you are but i expose the fact that you know this whole idea of critical
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race theory and white privilege and is actually a ploy to racially divide and conquer america and it is
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actually something that happened in my own country in zimbabwe because we also have a white population
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and overnight we found uh that this idea that the white people are the reason for all our problems
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was put out there as um as the narrative and it actually resulted in a devastating economic collapse
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after they started to redistribute wealth from the white people to to the black indigenous people
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so this is something that is near and dear to my heart and um i see it happening here in the united
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states and it's been really frightening and i'm starting to see the fruits of it so i actually uh
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wrote wrote the book choice privilege it's been very successful it was a bestseller on amazon
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and now i've released it in the audiobook because um a lot of my well a lot of people are coming up to me
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and saying you know i love i'm not really a big reader you know i have a busy lifestyle can you do
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an audiobook so i was like okay they want to listen to it in their car melissa we all want to listen to
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it in our cars on their way to work exactly well i didn't even know that you know audiobooks were now
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this big thing so apparently it's a huge huge market like it's overtaking just regular books i guess
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you know it's a big shift in the way people look at reading people just want to you know play it and
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on the go and just get all the information and i think it's a it's an efficient way of getting
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information well i think it's also because you get to hear the person's voice and they read it in
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their own voice unless you're hiring i don't know joe biden to read it but if it's your own if it's
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your own book then people i think would like to hear it in the author's actual voice now i want i'm
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wondering have you released any videos about zimbabwe and about the redistribution of wealth i think
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that'd be very interesting and go over very well if you just did a 10 minute video explaining all
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that that's not something people talk about a lot here i'm people are more familiar with south
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africa i think and maybe a little bit about china and obviously it's what people tout as being a good
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idea here in north america and it obviously isn't as there are historical examples happening it's
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actually happening through the esg i don't know if you've heard of the esg no thank you it's like
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it's a sort of like a credit score but i actually call it a social credit score and a lot of these
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big banks have have instituted it into their way of whether you can get a loan or not and it i'm not
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really sure exactly what the letters stand for but i know the s stands for social so basically social
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justice so if you're if you're a business that doesn't have the proper social justice ideology you
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may not even qualify for a loan so to me that's that's already um something that um is already
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introducing that idea and i actually saw it play out because i had some some friends that were actually
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trying to apply for a marijuana license um in the state of missouri and they were trying to get me to
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sign on to it even though i'm not really into that stuff but they were saying that hey if we have a
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minority and a black woman on our application that's going to give us a better uh chance of
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so i'm like you know that that that's how it starts that's the redistribution of wealth it's like
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you know the affirmative action and and not having an equal footing so you know it's already starting to
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happen and this is something that played out majorly in zimbabwe where you know they put in a law saying
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that if you have a business and you're a white person you have to have a black person has to own
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a large percentage of that company even though they didn't build it or do anything or whatever so
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we saw how that played out i mean a lot of those investments just flowed out of the country you know
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a lot of foreign investment a lot of jobs were lost it completely destroyed the economy so it's
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something that doesn't help anybody because it never helped the indigenous black people in zimbabwe
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who are now you know for the most part suffering hungry and so forth so it's something that we need
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to push back against because it's something that you know cloaks itself in in virtue and trying to help
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the downtrodden and so forth but really what it does is it destroys everybody's life whether you're black
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white rich poor middle class it just destroys everybody and that's what we saw happen in
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zimbabwe i know that you know that we had set you up to um debate somebody on my show and the other
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person i'm not going to name them but they didn't they didn't want to debate a black woman because they
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were also a black woman how did that make it was that weird for you that was weird a little bit weird
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for me yeah that is weird but i think it's just it's just uh you know i think with the left you know
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they don't want somebody who looks like me who is speaking who speaks the way i do because because
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it completely shatters their narrative and if you have somebody like me who is as black as they come
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from africa here with nothing and you know uh is able to make something of themselves the whole idea
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that your skin color is an impediment and something that's going to stop you from succeeding is something
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they're not going to be able to win an argument with so i think it's just a way to get out of um you
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being able to i mean being able to debate somebody who's who can actually expose the fragility of your
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argument are you still suspended from twitter i know there was a fake account in your name that was
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some bigger profiles were sharing it too so you're still suspended from there i am still suspended and
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yeah i think somebody is um impersonating me on on twitter i'm going to check on that yeah i don't know
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i think it was deleted but maybe it's still back up on there but yeah i was suspended uh after me
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sorry what's that what did you get suspended for sorry i cut you off um it was it was targeting because
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i shared a video that is still on twitter and still being shared and it's a video of joe rogan talking to
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dr peter mcculler uh about the covid situation i don't even remember what the content of the video was
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and and it was shortly after i shared that video and tweeted it that i received notice that i was
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permanently suspended because i've been suspended before but it was usually for like a period of time
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so you know i mean twitter has been after me for a long time since i actually signed up for twitter in
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2015 i had 25 000 followers and they completely shut down my account couldn't log in wasn't able to get
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it back was it started creating a new account created a new account started from zero from scratch
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up until you know i had 500 000 followers when they deleted when they suspended me permanently so
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you know it's it's just the operation uh the way the left operates if they can't
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um argue against what you're saying they'll just silence you and we've seen this throughout history
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so what have you gone to now is it just instagram did you jump over to getter or gab which one did
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you go to predominantly yeah i'm i'm on um getter and i'm also on truth social president truth social
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i know that one um not everybody can get on right away i think they have a huge waiting list but it's
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pretty good i like that one and i like getter as well so i'm on both those platforms at real melissa tate
00:23:08.520
you wanted to talk about the economy and so did i because we're we're seeing the gas prices here
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as well and it was really weird because they went up by 60 cents or 50 cents for a week for two weeks
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and now they're down by 30 cents they blamed russia even though we don't have oil from russia and canada
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and then so the the price kind of just evened out at going up by 20 cents or something how long can
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biden blame outside sources for the inflation and for the economy i see even msnbc and cnn are
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questioning a little bit because you know they don't have any other excuse uh the u.s's consumption
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of russian oil is is really a fraction it's three percent it's not nothing but it's still not enough
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to say we need to throw these gas prices through the roof is there something else at play that they
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don't want to say or is their economy just slowly getting worse and worse what's the real story here do you
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think well the real story is uh what i call artificial scarcity is what they're creating
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energy and this is something that they have done in africa for you know decades and that's the reason
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why africa being the richest continent as far as natural resources and energy and everything
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is still the poorest country and it's the reason is because of one of the major reasons is the fact that
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there is an artificial scarcity of energy and when you just i mean it's a simple formula cheap energy
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equals prosperity expensive energy equals poverty that's a frame that americans should or everybody
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in canada north america west in the west in the world should just understand that frame cheap energy
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equals prosperity so what you're seeing happening here in the united states is there is a war on energy
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and is it is all being done in the name of saving the planet from climate change but but by the very
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people that fly around in private jets the very people like joe biden who approved the north stream
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pipeline from that goes from russia to germany that was fine with him that didn't hurt the climate
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apparently but at the same time he's shutting down pipelines here in the united states not just the
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keystone pipeline but plenty of pipelines and really what this war on energy represents for me is the
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great reset which is what you know these elites have been talking about you know they want to recreate
00:25:38.780
society they want to re-engineer the way society works and in my opinion they're trying to go back to
00:25:45.500
more of a neo-feudalism uh society where you have a small rich elite that controls all the energy and
00:25:54.800
resources and the wealth and then everybody else is pretty much poor and subservient to this elite
00:26:01.700
class and um i know a lot of people may think well that's a conspiracy theory but this is something that
00:26:07.620
they're saying out in the open and the idea that conspiracies don't exist is something that is
00:26:13.820
ridiculous because conspiracies have always existed you know if you say that conspiracies don't exist
00:26:20.000
that's like a deer saying that wolves don't exist there's always been predators there's always been
00:26:25.940
um evil people there's always been a small group of people that want power and wealth and control that has
00:26:32.760
always existed but just because we've lived in western civilization for a long time and had a period of
00:26:39.400
prosperity and peace and democracy and freedom the concept of conspiracy maybe may be something that
00:26:47.260
people think oh well maybe that doesn't exist no it absolutely exists so we have to look at it in that
00:26:53.520
frame and the only way we're going to be able to overcome this is if people start being honest with what
00:26:59.620
we're truly up against because this is something that is not being done because of ignorance or these
00:27:05.900
people are stupid it is something that is being done deliberately and they've made it very plain
00:27:11.180
and very uh if you're just willing to look at the information and listen to what they're saying
00:27:16.300
they know that you know half the most of the population they're too busy watching netflix they're
00:27:21.660
really concerned about so many other things they're distracted even like with the war in ukraine
00:27:26.280
and all these things that they don't really pay attention to what's really going on and what
00:27:31.940
they are saying in their own words about the society they're trying to create for us
00:27:36.980
yeah and i think when you start blaming everything on russia and of course there's a hypocrisy with the
00:27:43.800
pipelines there but then you have to start looking at china and saudi arabia who are very big trading
00:27:48.840
partners or even places like egypt or the united arab emirates all these places have you can even go
00:27:56.500
back to syria and all these other places that we've dealt with and intervened with as well um iraq
00:28:02.680
iran afghanistan joe biden or obama made the the terrible deal with iran for example so all these
00:28:09.460
people and all these countries are somehow better than russia who doesn't really do anything to us
00:28:17.080
other than you know sell us oil it's very strange i think if anyone was to look into that sort of thing
00:28:22.300
they'd agree that if we're going to say russia's evil and they're not they're like russia's always
00:28:27.860
tried to invade people i'm not saying they're good but if russia's evil then what is saudi arabia and
00:28:33.020
what is china but china has its hands in so many things they can't just pull out and say well we
00:28:38.680
need to boycott china because they have their tentacles we'll call them like an octopus in in as
00:28:45.580
we've seen pharmaceuticals in over the last couple years they control most of the generic drugs the
00:28:51.920
masks and then of course you can go to a lot of other sectors and you're not about to find a bunch
00:28:57.800
of congressmen and congresswomen saying oh we need to cut ourselves off from china now i want to i want
00:29:03.260
to get your take and we only have a couple minutes left here um on the whole ukraine situation let's
00:29:08.260
assume like everybody should assume that putin wants to expand his territories back into the ussr
00:29:13.640
which he's shown with georgia and crimea let's assume everybody knows putin putin man bad let's
00:29:20.600
say what is your take on ukraine why is the u.s government so supportive of them why do we want
00:29:26.460
to keep this war going selensky is an actor they have neo-nazi battalions in them what's your take
00:29:32.920
overall should people really throw themselves into this should they you know not take a side should
00:29:37.420
they pick a side how do you feel about that in maybe two minutes well what i've been saying is that
00:29:43.180
there are no good good guys on this side nato is not good neither is is is putin so people are
00:29:50.980
this is being presented from the media's standpoint as a black and white issue like putin is bad and
00:29:56.660
nato is good absolutely not really what you have to do is study the history of what has been going
00:30:02.040
on in ukraine and you'll find that our cia actually went into ukraine and overthrew the government that
00:30:09.400
was over there in a coup and installed the government that would be more towards nato and
00:30:15.840
the eu because in the 90s when the soviet union fell nato actually promised russia that they wouldn't
00:30:22.700
expand east into any of the countries east of germany but since they made that promise they've gone
00:30:29.380
east into 13 countries and russia has really showed restraint in my opinion but had but said
00:30:37.280
that ukraine was their red line so knowing this and they've known this in this video of joe biden
00:30:44.060
talking about this red line that russia has drawn with ukraine because they have expanded so far east
00:30:51.500
that now they're right up on the russian border in ukraine so really what we're seeing the conflict
00:30:57.660
happening in um in ukraine right now i'm not saying this justifies putin invading them but this is
00:31:04.020
something that they knew was coming so ukraine was supposed to remain neutral and instead of
00:31:10.940
letting it remain neutral you know people like uh uh in in nato and in the united states were in there
00:31:17.540
trying to get ukraine to now start joining the eu and nato and that obviously inflamed tensions with
00:31:24.040
russia and russia has said for many years that ukraine is our red line ukraine is our red line
00:31:29.040
so why are we meddling in their issues and trying to get uh ukraine to join nato you know we we've got
00:31:37.660
absolutely no national interests for ukraine to be in nato it is something that i feel like it is
00:31:44.700
something that is being manufactured it is something that joe biden actually needed with the upcoming
00:31:51.920
2022 elections something that is perfect for him something that can distract people from the disaster
00:31:58.100
that he's causing here in the united states as far as economically with the border with just about
00:32:03.780
everything so now everybody is distracted the 24 hours a day seven days a week we're talking about
00:32:09.620
ukraine and my heart aches for the people of ukraine because they're just the political football that is
00:32:15.140
being played by both sides and they're the ones who suffer it's their children and their uh families
00:32:20.880
because they were promised that they were going to be put into nato and nato is not even helping them
00:32:26.520
so they're just being used as a pawn in a greater um uh what do you call this um scheme proxy war
00:32:34.440
proxy war too yeah and nato well thank you melissa i tend to agree i think it has a lot to do with the
00:32:42.340
bombing of those eastern regions and there's so much stuff coming out from ukraine of them you know
00:32:47.060
tying people to poles and then they have their nazi battalions who are fighting chechen muslims
00:32:51.900
it's so confusing it's so hard to figure out what's real and what's not i think you're very
00:32:56.340
smart i'm thankful that you came on i'd love to see more videos from you and maybe they exist about
00:33:01.880
you talking about the socialism in africa and the energy uh the fake energy crisis that you're talking
00:33:06.880
about i think that's very interesting so i want to thank you for coming on and maybe we'll find
00:33:10.800
somebody for you to debate in the future maybe we can get that to happen okay that'll be great
00:33:17.100
that'll be great it might just end up being yourself so just have a mirror image of you
00:33:22.080
and you debate yourself back and forth wear two different dresses and then record that
00:33:26.680
different times i don't know but thank you yeah i should try that i should try that since no one
00:33:31.280
wants to debate me we'll see okay go find uh her audiobook it is going is it out now it's on audible
00:33:39.520
okay it's on amazon on audible it's also available in a hardcover and uh paperback on my website
00:33:46.820
at realmelissatate.com so if you'd like to support me because i was deplatformed i was receiving
00:33:52.660
uh i was getting a lot of um i was reaching a lot of people with my message and my book
00:33:57.800
on twitter and being deplatformed that kind of set me back but it's not slowing me down so if you'd
00:34:03.580
like to support what i'm doing please grab a couple copies of the book or the audible book and
00:34:08.920
that'll be great all right thanks a lot melissa have a great day all right thank you so much for having me