Tate Speech - September 14, 2025


James Bond’s 37th Birthday | Tate Confidential Ep 320


Episode Stats

Length

18 minutes

Words per Minute

150.76517

Word Count

2,857

Sentence Count

349

Misogynist Sentences

15

Hate Speech Sentences

10


Summary


Transcript

00:00:01.000 We're gonna have so much fun, right Tristan?
00:00:05.000 Just like Smash Bro.
00:00:06.000 As long as we have fun.
00:00:10.000 Nobody, nobody all.
00:00:16.000 Remember when I promised you an amazing birthday present from house arrest.
00:00:21.000 Yes.
00:00:22.000 We were locked in our house and we couldn't leave because you're a fucking human trafficker.
00:00:26.000 Okay.
00:00:27.000 And I promised you a fantastic birthday present.
00:00:30.000 And then you got excited, and then I gave you a cake, but I had eaten some of the cake myself.
00:00:35.000 I do remember that, yes.
00:00:37.000 That's right.
00:00:37.000 Did you enjoy your presence?
00:00:39.000 No.
00:00:42.000 Well, luckily for you, the cake wasn't your actual present.
00:00:46.000 There is an actual present.
00:00:47.000 and now that we're free from house arrest even though you're still a human trafficker we're going to collect it now You're not a classic car car.
00:01:06.000 But you have to admit this is the prettiest car in the world.
00:01:10.000 Happy birthday, friend.
00:01:12.000 Appreciate it.
00:01:13.000 No three-point seat belts, just a nice round the waist.
00:01:17.000 This is the prettiest car in the world.
00:01:19.000 This is the best car that's ever been made.
00:01:22.000 Look at that smile.
00:01:33.000 It's beautiful.
00:01:34.000 Even I have to admit, I'm more of a gesto Bugatti man.
00:01:37.000 I'm not a classic car guy, but this is absolutely gorgeous.
00:01:40.000 Beautiful car.
00:01:41.000 I I really think it is the single most beautiful car in the world.
00:01:44.000 And it's iconic.
00:01:46.000 It's gonna become the most famous car in the world.
00:01:48.000 The Pagatti's about to be replaced with this.
00:01:50.000 And honey trap!
00:01:52.000 A guest for you tonight!
00:01:58.000 It's a kiss!
00:01:59.000 This time I won't miss!
00:02:02.000 Now I've got you in my sight With a golden eye Golden, golden eye With a golden eye Golden eye Ha ha ha!
00:02:31.000 What a car!
00:02:32.000 Well, some miles go up.
00:02:34.000 795, it's almost done.
00:02:37.000 Oh nice.
00:02:37.000 Is that the button to drop the bombs?
00:02:40.000 Do not touch the red button.
00:02:42.000 So if you had this back in the day, read the man.
00:02:44.000 This was the Bugatti Shiron of 1963.
00:02:47.000 If you had this, you are the man.
00:02:50.000 How fast does it go?
00:02:51.000 Maybe 150, 160.
00:02:53.000 Wait, is that kilometers or miles?
00:02:54.000 Miles.
00:02:55.000 There's no way this is 150 miles an hour.
00:02:57.000 There is.
00:02:58.000 Are you smoking?
00:03:01.000 See, this has got to be the one car that we ban smoking in.
00:03:05.000 Look look at the interior.
00:03:06.000 This is a pristine.
00:03:08.000 This is a pristine vehicle.
00:03:09.000 That's one that is few working in the entire world.
00:03:12.000 None are this pristine and you're smoking.
00:03:16.000 T we can't let smoking.
00:03:19.000 We had in this car.
00:03:20.000 We gotta ban smoking in the car.
00:03:21.000 We gotta preserve it as best as we can.
00:03:23.000 I'm not sure that's true.
00:03:26.000 I think you can't tell me what to do.
00:03:44.000 Alright, now that we're on the road, tell me about it.
00:03:46.000 First impression.
00:03:48.000 It's uh miracle of engineering.
00:03:52.000 I cannot believe how old this car is and how good it drives for being this old.
00:03:58.000 It's incredible.
00:04:00.000 It's actually super smooth.
00:04:01.000 It's incredible as a car.
00:04:03.000 To think that this was bought by for the first time by somebody who potentially fought in World War II and bought this car in his 30s.
00:04:15.000 Do you think that that's how old this car is?
00:04:18.000 Unbelievable.
00:04:19.000 I I I genuinely can't believe it.
00:04:26.000 What a wonderful vehicle.
00:04:31.000 You gotta put some miles on it.
00:04:33.000 I'm gonna put all the miles on it, baby.
00:04:36.000 All the miles I have in my soul.
00:04:38.000 It feels like very mechanical.
00:04:42.000 Very like an actual machine.
00:04:43.000 Like you're in charge of a machine.
00:04:45.000 No computers involved.
00:04:47.000 It's a truly unique driving experience, and I can see even by testing the power out.
00:04:53.000 That's faster than a lot of modern normal people.
00:04:56.000 Like a two-liter you can get somewhere.
00:04:58.000 I can see how that was the best car in the world, don't it?
00:05:01.000 Well, Mr. Bond, life's never been simple, so of course it's gonna be a little bit interesting and unique to drive.
00:05:09.000 But truly, I mean, I'm not a classic car guy, but if I had to have a classic car, it's stunning.
00:05:16.000 It's absolutely stunning.
00:05:19.000 For what is a man?
00:05:23.000 What has he got?
00:05:26.000 If not himself, then he has not to save a things.
00:05:35.000 He truly feels and not the world of one who needs the record shows.
00:05:48.000 I took the blows and did it my way.
00:05:59.000 Cardio.
00:06:03.000 Real man's cardio.
00:06:07.000 Okay, buddy.
00:06:14.000 Something cardio.
00:06:16.000 Kristen?
00:06:17.000 I'm gonna put the whole car here and you know, fuck it.
00:06:20.000 Love is something and feelin'like a lesson.
00:06:25.000 I think I'm scared of the sunshine.
00:06:28.000 He is hiding in the shade.
00:06:29.000 What's the last time he spoke to the sun?
00:06:32.000 How are you?
00:06:33.000 I get a lunch box.
00:06:35.000 I'm about to take you to school.
00:06:39.000 Tristan, you got a rubber doc.
00:06:45.000 Hi!
00:06:49.000 Turn about take a bath.
00:06:53.000 You can't steal his own his own phrase.
00:06:55.000 I just say that for a fair girls with the bulls.
00:06:57.000 You have a column?
00:06:59.000 Yeah, it's not from 30 right.
00:07:00.000 Take it for ice cream, nigger.
00:07:03.000 I'm taking it for ice cream nigger.
00:07:08.000 What threats meeting make no sense.
00:07:11.000 I'll be in here for ice cream, nigger!
00:07:18.000 It's cool.
00:07:24.000 life is good I was in the shelf, serve cocaine, ain't been the same fence.
00:07:40.000 Ooh.
00:07:40.000 Granny, she was standing right there.
00:07:42.000 I well a kitchen play on a brick.
00:07:44.000 I was in the shop, serve cocaine, ain't been the same fence That's about the time I call her Serena I go tremendo for new fettuccine I don't fit no clarity, please I don't fit no order, please I'm in the look of the boom.
00:07:55.000 I'm in the loop with the rules Who's going to break it?
00:07:57.000 I put the face on the news I put the piss on the shirt After I break it Make me go shoot up First Cost me a quarter First Niggas first You a maniac fucking ADS.
00:08:07.000 How you shirming, I get kicked, you can't have a problem, bitch, you're going to work it.
00:08:11.000 Come on!
00:08:16.000 Friday night, your Doom scrolling.
00:08:18.000 Every swipe is a choice.
00:08:20.000 Keep entertaining yourself into poverty or step across the line and start building your empire.
00:08:24.000 The real world 2.0 is where that second path begins.
00:08:26.000 In the real world 2.0, you make money and you can leave it in the platform.
00:08:30.000 You can then send money to other students inside.
00:08:32.000 Millionaire mentors show you exactly how to create money online.
00:08:36.000 Over 10 business models from AI automation to e-commerce.
00:08:39.000 No theory, no fluff, just the blueprint, just the weapon.
00:08:42.000 Students are already winning.
00:08:44.000 It's about 5,000.
00:08:45.000 Oh six, 7,000 dollars.
00:08:47.000 23,000 in revenue, zero to eight million in annual revenue.
00:08:50.000 So keep scrolling if you want.
00:08:51.000 But remember, every scroll is more time wasted.
00:08:54.000 In one day, you'll be watching someone else live the life you could have built.
00:08:57.000 The choice is yours.
00:08:58.000 Join the real world 2.0 now and start making money today.
00:09:07.000 I can't hang on you.
00:09:08.000 I can't actually hang on you because there's a nice to close you out.
00:09:14.000 Try.
00:09:15.000 Either put 50 in or fold.
00:09:20.000 That's what we did.
00:09:23.000 Yeah.
00:09:23.000 You look like.
00:09:24.000 Thank you.
00:09:26.000 See?
00:09:27.000 Tristan, you don't like his denim shorts.
00:09:29.000 His trousers, Denise.
00:09:31.000 This is top of the shorts.
00:09:34.000 You can't hate on Danim, Tristan.
00:09:36.000 Top of the line, Denim, bro.
00:09:37.000 I can hit.
00:09:38.000 We have so many Pakistani.
00:09:41.000 Marcel, I love the Danim.
00:09:43.000 Very good choice.
00:09:44.000 We're here for Tristan's birthday to prepoke her.
00:09:46.000 Happy birthday, T. Shut up.
00:09:48.000 I think I'm the first person to tell you that actually, because it's technically not your birthday.
00:09:52.000 Happy birthday.
00:09:53.000 Guys, so I want to I've brought you all here for a reason.
00:09:55.000 As you all know, Tristan famously doesn't like birthdays.
00:09:58.000 So when you're a multimillionaire and your brother doesn't like birthdays, what you normally do is you pull out all the stocks to put together something so fantastic that even he has to admit his birthday's good.
00:10:07.000 But we're not gonna do that.
00:10:08.000 Instead, what we're gonna do is make sure that we all have the best time ever on his birthday.
00:10:14.000 As long as we have fun, he can stay miserable.
00:10:16.000 So tomorrow is the happiest day of the year for us.
00:10:19.000 Fuck him.
00:10:20.000 For us.
00:10:21.000 It's gonna be the greatest time ever.
00:10:22.000 We're the best friends ever.
00:10:24.000 We're gonna have so much fun, right, Tristan?
00:10:28.000 Yeah, let's go.
00:10:29.000 Put your fucking grinder phone away.
00:10:32.000 Just like Smash Bros.
00:10:34.000 You try and like go all in, you try and like come at me.
00:10:37.000 Just like Smash Bros.
00:10:38.000 This table is a little bit too hood anyway, you know.
00:10:40.000 We're all dressed up nice as one person sitting in a baseball cap.
00:10:43.000 Ain't a race thing because Nigel's dressed well.
00:10:45.000 I'm just saying, it's not a race thing, but there's space behind the bar.
00:10:49.000 You got bills to pay.
00:10:51.000 You got bills to pay and you're out.
00:10:53.000 You got bills to pay.
00:10:54.000 I'll have a bite.
00:10:56.000 I'll have a hot chocolate.
00:10:57.000 And no, I'll take it all back.
00:10:58.000 It is a race thing.
00:10:59.000 You know what it is?
00:11:00.000 It actually is a race yeah, that's right.
00:11:02.000 Send the way at the back.
00:11:06.000 Oh, look at this room.
00:11:07.000 Nigel Freeman's allowed to be here.
00:11:10.000 He's one of the free ones, he's got the papers.
00:11:13.000 He keeps it in his suit jacket pocket.
00:11:16.000 There's the trip.
00:11:20.000 Give it a chance, give it a chance, because I'm not to go on.
00:11:25.000 I can see the same page.
00:11:28.000 I got bills to get we'll be lucky, bro.
00:11:42.000 If I had aww, you guys are luckier than right now.
00:11:47.000 When we play poker on the boat, this is the shit that's gonna make us all just stand up and throw you over.
00:11:52.000 This is exactly when you're gonna get thrown over.
00:11:54.000 He'll be like me, you can't beat me.
00:11:57.000 We're all gonna look at each other and just throw you straight in the Bro, you're lucky I'm not playing this hand right now, bro.
00:12:01.000 Can you beat me though?
00:12:04.000 My tactic of having less trips chips than you makes me nimble and quick.
00:12:09.000 So I'm relying on speed.
00:12:11.000 19,400 all in blind.
00:12:15.000 Bye bye, Tristan.
00:12:17.000 Nice knowing you.
00:12:19.000 I'm built different.
00:12:21.000 I'm not scared.
00:12:22.000 The difference between you and me is that I'm not scared.
00:12:24.000 That's the difference between us both.
00:12:26.000 Oh, no, that okay.
00:12:27.000 So that's how much.
00:12:29.000 Yeah, I call it.
00:12:30.000 Okay, let's figure out.
00:12:30.000 Tristan calling it now, you have Jackson 5.
00:12:33.000 Shut down, shut down.
00:12:34.000 Pocket aces!
00:12:36.000 My boy!
00:12:36.000 I told you you were gonna win.
00:12:41.000 I knew that we all Jackson 5 pocket aces.
00:12:48.000 He's got Jack.
00:12:49.000 He's a prime.
00:12:50.000 Oh!
00:12:55.000 No 10, no 10.
00:12:58.000 Jack!
00:12:59.000 Oh!
00:13:02.000 Oh my god!
00:13:05.000 Jackson 5!
00:13:06.000 Why did you think you motherfuckers stood a chance against the Jackson 5?
00:13:12.000 Why did you think you stood a single chance in hell against the Jackson 5?
00:13:19.000 I don't know what y'all niggas was thinking.
00:13:21.000 You must have a motherfucking day.
00:13:24.000 Best band in history, Marcel.
00:13:26.000 You can't beat the Jackson's Poke!
00:13:28.000 You think Poke Ace is gonna be Jackson 5?
00:13:31.000 Are you bad?
00:13:34.000 Happy birthday to you.
00:13:39.000 Happy birthday to you.
00:13:42.000 Chuckle Band.
00:13:43.000 Happy birthday!
00:13:49.000 Happy birthday to you.
00:13:53.000 Woo!
00:13:53.000 Yes!
00:13:56.000 Yes!
00:13:58.000 I phone browse birthday.
00:14:00.000 Yes.
00:14:01.000 Alright.
00:14:02.000 Happy This night's neat, guys.
00:14:06.000 Rats.
00:14:06.000 Guys, we just woke up.
00:14:07.000 I'm having my first cup of coffee in the morning.
00:14:09.000 We can't start the day with big tasties.
00:14:11.000 Okay.
00:14:12.000 Tristan, I love you to death.
00:14:13.000 It's your birthday and happy birthday.
00:14:15.000 But I don't want to have a morning big tasty.
00:14:20.000 Okay, I'm gonna break the fourth wall.
00:14:22.000 Their tradition is to order as much unhealthy fast food as humanly possible over the course of the entire day.
00:14:29.000 It's gonna start with Big Tasty's, then it's gonna go to KFC, then it's gonna go to this, then it's gonna go to that, then it's gonna go to pizza, then it's gonna go to K all day until you physically can't move because your stomach's so full of shit.
00:14:40.000 There's Marcel.
00:14:43.000 Thank you.
00:14:43.000 Thank you for being the voice of reason amongst the madness.
00:14:47.000 Put that back and eat a victory.
00:14:49.000 This isn't the good birthday.
00:14:50.000 Put that down and eat your big taste.
00:14:52.000 Marcel, thank you.
00:14:53.000 Morning big tasties is not the way.
00:14:55.000 That's not a good birthday fight.
00:14:58.000 Does this make you want to throw up having it first thing in the morning right after you wake up?
00:15:01.000 It's 12 o'clock, neighbors.
00:15:03.000 I can't think well, we were out late last night for you.
00:15:06.000 Good morning, sir.
00:15:07.000 Top of the morning.
00:15:08.000 Breakfast is ready.
00:15:11.000 This is come this is real life.
00:15:14.000 We're contemplating what to do for Tristan's birthday.
00:15:17.000 Marcel's tapping out.
00:15:18.000 He doesn't want big tasties.
00:15:20.000 And you actually know baby's a little bitch with the appetite of a little girl.
00:15:22.000 Shut up.
00:15:23.000 Everything we eat is a group.
00:15:24.000 I put on his desk.
00:15:25.000 He currently has one big taste.
00:15:27.000 This is the beginning.
00:15:27.000 This is the beginning.
00:15:28.000 One big taste is for you.
00:15:30.000 No, no, no.
00:15:31.000 And I really don't want to.
00:15:34.000 I know, but that's what we're voting for.
00:15:35.000 We can veto this whatever this plan is.
00:15:38.000 Oh, you can't.
00:15:39.000 And I was here by myself eating big tasties.
00:15:42.000 KFC's on the way.
00:15:43.000 Let's invoke the game for nothing.
00:15:45.000 This is gonna get this.
00:15:46.000 This is gonna get I'm not gonna lie.
00:15:48.000 Alright, listen.
00:15:49.000 I do think there's a better plan than sitting here and eating so much we feel sick.
00:15:52.000 I think that is just shit waste for today.
00:15:54.000 But it is this.
00:15:59.000 It was sick.
00:16:05.000 Why don't we go out to a very nice restaurant and have some very nice food?
00:16:09.000 Do something very nice.
00:16:09.000 I'm scared of the big taste, I gotta do it.
00:16:11.000 I'm funny.
00:16:12.000 I'll do it, bro.
00:16:13.000 I'll do it.
00:16:14.000 I'm just saying that's I'll match whatever you eat, I'll eat.
00:16:19.000 And with these other niggers, if they can't keep up, then they're just putting out the ears.
00:16:22.000 Let's go.
00:16:22.000 Come on, it's his birthday.
00:16:23.000 Come on, sit down.
00:16:24.000 We already know we taste this.
00:16:26.000 We've all eaten big tissues.
00:16:30.000 And he's I'm gonna put the food that we have eaten on his desk.
00:16:33.000 No, that does not look enjoyable.
00:16:35.000 I wanna throw up just looking at it.
00:16:37.000 You ordered big tasties 45 minutes ago.
00:16:43.000 You're just trying to destroy everybody in the house.
00:16:45.000 That's all you're trying to do.
00:16:47.000 I will admit, I I am being a party pooper.
00:16:50.000 What?
00:16:51.000 This is not enjoyable looking at me.
00:16:56.000 Everyone is just staring into my soul right now.
00:16:59.000 Alex said he's gotta puke.
00:17:01.000 And I told him with all due respect if he pukes.
00:17:03.000 I actually have to film it.
00:17:04.000 So I'm currently following him around.
00:17:08.000 I'm not.
00:17:08.000 I just I'm doing my job.
00:17:10.000 I have if you puke and I don't film it, I'm it's not a joke.
00:17:14.000 You you're in the fetal position.
00:17:15.000 You're gonna you're gonna puke.
00:17:17.000 You don't look too hot.
00:17:18.000 Food coma.
00:17:19.000 Food coma?
00:17:21.000 What's better than Smallix?
00:17:22.000 Smallix is going to throw up.
00:17:24.000 Is yesterday?
00:17:24.000 Sma Smallix is in the fetal position.
00:17:27.000 Nigel is asleep outside on the couch.
00:17:29.000 He looks like he's dying.
00:17:31.000 I'm gonna sit from my needs and let my stomach settle.
00:17:34.000 I've never seen you like this.
00:17:35.000 How do you feel?
00:17:37.000 Like shit.
00:17:38.000 You finished your KFC?
00:17:40.000 No.
00:17:41.000 I didn't come out here because I was tagged.
00:17:43.000 I came out here because I was told to come out here.
00:17:45.000 No.
00:17:46.000 If I'm not invited, I will happily go back inside.
00:17:48.000 And I tagged everyone besides you.
00:17:50.000 I will happily go back inside.
00:17:52.000 You're not part of this.
00:17:53.000 You can eat your seat and join us.
00:17:55.000 We'll go back inside.
00:17:57.000 I'll see you guys later.
00:17:58.000 Enjoy.
00:17:59.000 Christy, You scammed me.
00:18:00.000 I'm not even supposed to be out of here.
00:18:01.000 I didn't get invited.
00:18:02.000 You see, the only way to beat Tristan's game is to exit the game completely.
00:18:07.000 Now they may sit outside and make fun of me all day.
00:18:10.000 That's okay.
00:18:11.000 Because in a few hours, when they're all throwing up their guts, shitting their brains out, I'm gonna be sitting here with all of this uneaten food, happy as can be, while I get my work done and have an amazing day.
00:18:24.000 So in case you're wondering, how how do you win the game?
00:18:27.000 You don't win the game unless you exit the game like I have.
00:18:31.000 No, I know that.
00:18:32.000 But now we're getting something else.
00:18:34.000 Why don't we just jump on the scooter still?
00:18:36.000 We'll see all the Bugatti scooters approach.
00:18:39.000 Every single one of us.
00:18:40.000 I sent them yesterday.
00:18:41.000 Send them yesterday to fix them.
00:18:43.000 I told them to check them all out, so I wanted to do that.
00:18:46.000 Smoke a fucking cigar.
00:18:47.000 Come at a bitch.
00:18:48.000 Mosquitoes cannot bite me.
00:18:49.000 My guess goes back.
00:18:50.000 Wanna take it for a drive?
00:18:51.000 It's another day, friend.
00:18:52.000 Fuck you, Pink.
00:18:53.000 And I changed the five women who live with me.
00:18:55.000 So it's a brand new life once a week.