In this episode, the brother and sister duo of the sit down with their good friend and former co-host Christina P. and talk about all kinds of things. They talk about how they met, how they got started with Fat Shaming, and what it s like to be a mom in the workplace. They also talk about some of their favorite moments from the past and some of the things that have come to define them over the years. We hope you enjoy, sit down, and have a nice rest of your day! XOXO, Bert and Tom - The Bert and Ollie Show is a weekly podcast hosted by Tom and Bert. They are two best friends who have been through hell and high water and are here to help you get through your day to day life. If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE on Apple Podcasts and leave us a rating and review on iTunes. We really appreciate it! - Bert & Tom - The Bert & Ollies Show - Please rate, review, and tell us what you thought of this episode and what you think about it in the comments section below! Thank you so much for all the love and support we really appreciate all the support we've gotten so far! Xoxo, Bert, Ari and Tom. Cheers, Cheers! Love ya! -Bert and Tom and Olli. - Cheers. Mike & Olli xoxo Thanks for listening! -Mike & Oli and Mike and Oli! - Mike and Mike & Ari Love, Mike & Mike . Thankyou, Mike and Ari - Mike & Matt & Matt <3 Music by: Please rate and review this episode of the Fat Loss Challenge? & the Fat Shame Challenge by: Mike and the FatShaming Challenge by: Johnny Appleseed And the Fatshaming Challenge by Mr. & The Fat Loss Project to help us raise money for the Fat shaming Challenge by Fat Loss challenge by Fat shaming and the Weight Loss Challenge by Meghan and The Fat Shoe Challenge by The Fat Shame Project by the Fat Shamed and the Great Stoop Challenge by @ at is a little bit more! & thanks to: , Ari and Ari at the outside!
00:04:50.000And Tom's been trying to explain this shit to me for years, and I'm like, I don't...
00:04:54.000Okay, they run five seconds, and then comes the show after the show, where the four white guys talk about the fucking game they just watched for two more hours.
00:07:22.000Is it going to be a good way to develop all those weird muscles?
00:07:25.000That's one of the things that you realize when you start doing yoga, is that there's all these weird muscles that you didn't know that were weak.
00:07:31.000These weird stabilizer muscles in your feet.
00:07:34.000The number one thing that bothered me when I first started doing yoga is my feet.
00:07:37.000My feet would give out before anything.
00:08:43.000She's kind of obsessed with cryotherapy, cold shock proteins, and heat shock proteins.
00:08:47.000And your body has a response to extreme heat and extreme cold by producing these anti-inflammatory cytokines.
00:08:55.000And when you go into a hot sauna, I think it's four times a week, if you could do it four times a week, it reduces mortality amongst all causes by 40%.
00:10:00.000So there's a tremendous amount of stress on your body from that heat and from the poses themselves.
00:10:07.000And so I would like to see what happens when the results of this study come back, because I think they're going to show probably a similar effect to the anti-inflammatory markers in the blood that you see from sauna.
00:11:00.000And she goes, one of the, this is going to sound really weird, but one of the best ways that we figured out how to help people with back issues is get them to go on a gluten-free diet.
00:12:06.000Because the wheat that they used to sell, like wheat that people used to grow, like way back in the early days, was much more low yield.
00:12:14.000So the same thing that people have done to tomatoes and a lot of things by making them more robust.
00:12:19.000When they did this to wheat, they made a much higher yield wheat.
00:12:24.000So if you have an acre of wheat, you get much more wheat out of it, but it has much more complex glutens in it and it's more difficult for your body to process.
00:12:32.000So one of the things that I noticed when we went to Italy is I was eating pasta over there and it didn't give me this horrible brick in my stomach feeling.
00:19:14.000Super difficult to get accurate, super intense pressure on the line when you have to execute a shot on a living creature.
00:19:20.000And then, you know, just to get obsessed with the whole, the methodology behind it and all the technique and all the, and learning and studying it and just, I get obsessed with things.
00:19:31.000So, by doing things I suck at, like yoga, bow hunting, and jujitsu, you get more humble, you know?
00:19:39.000I suck less at jujitsu than I do with other things, but I still suck in comparison to people that are really good.
00:21:38.000I'm so glad you said that because, you know, like I said, I told you before we wrote, like, October 9th, I was just some douchebag who sold 200 tickets in Portland, and I'm still that person, but I'm saying, like, October 10th, 108 million people now have access to my stamp card.
00:22:20.000And they see you, and it's the first time hearing all the material, and they love it, like, oh my god, it was fucking amazing!
00:22:25.000You know better, because you know you've gone through it all, and you've picked it apart, and, you know, I always tell people, like, I'm not like the biggest fan of me.
00:23:19.000I don't like to exercise, but after I had my kid, I was like, I don't want to be brittle and hunched over and shitty at 50. I'm looking to 50. And Pilates is like a core thing.
00:23:39.000What it really means, what you really gotta work, is not just your muscles like your thighs or your arms, but work the stuff that keeps you upright.
00:23:47.000All those muscles that stabilize your back.
00:23:50.000All those muscles that allow you to have good posture.
00:23:52.000All those muscles that keep your discs from compressing.
00:23:55.000And that's one of the things that yoga does.
00:24:54.000And I think one of the best ways, especially, maybe I'm just looking at it in terms of creative endeavors, because stand-up obviously is so dependent upon your ideas, so dependent upon creativity, that one of the best ways for me to have other thoughts other than just my immediate act and doing shows and travel,
00:25:14.000that's the worst thing that happens in comics, right?
00:25:16.000They start doing airplane jokes, because they're on airplanes all the time, and hotel jokes.
00:26:03.000A feature act and you're staying in like motels where the door faces the fucking parking lot and you're doing some hibachi grill and some weirdo's gonna try to pay you with a fur coat instead of money this week.
00:26:16.000And you're like, what kind of sickness was I in in my 20s and 30s where I thought that was...
00:26:23.000Okay, you know, you really would only do it when you're young.
00:26:26.000Like if you wanted to start that right now, it would be such a grind.
00:26:29.000Like guys like Dean Del Rey, like give it up to that guy.
00:26:33.000That guy didn't even start doing stand-up.
00:26:35.000He was like, I think he was like 46 or some crazy shit like that.
00:28:12.000Sometimes I shit like the other day I shit and I tell my seven-year-old about it Tell her she's like daddy you almost done cuz I was playing with her and I had to take this horrible shit I just yeah taking her to a martial arts class and we've gotten home and I go I'll play with you But first I gotta go potty and I was in there like five minutes.
00:28:29.000She's like daddy you almost done I'm like look the shit I took was so huge.
00:32:05.000I mean, I saw you at the Comedy Store like four or five years ago when I ran up to you, like one set that you had, and I go, dude, you're one of the funniest people alive.
00:32:38.000Ironically, the people that are like, I need a special now, those people suck, right?
00:32:42.000Like the people that are trying to do something that's way out of their reach, like the people that are like, you know, I need to be filling arenas.
00:32:48.000Like, no, you need a fucking good 10 minutes, you piece of shit.
00:32:53.000Like, those are the crazy people, right?
00:32:55.000The people that are really good at promotion, but really bad at stand-up.
00:32:57.000But then, however, there's people who are really talented who don't have enough business savvy.
00:33:03.000So I think there needs to be some kind of thing where you start to learn the business and you become responsible for that end of it.
00:33:09.000And I think I was not taking responsibility yet.
00:33:12.000The beautiful thing about stand-up is that there's a very, especially today, and there's a difference between today and 10 years ago or 20 years ago, because there's more opportunity, and because there's more opportunity, because there's YouTube and there's social media, there's people that have become very famous just through Twitter and Instagram and social media.
00:33:32.000So all this new opportunity has opened up more possibilities so people are less stingy and there's more of a sense of community for whatever reason, particularly in LA. LA has a very good sense of community.
00:33:43.000So even if you're not like the most business savvy, you could be around a lot of people like myself or like other people that are encouraging and then help and then tell everybody about their friends.
00:33:55.000It's one of the cool things about comedy.
00:33:56.000You'll go to Tom's page, if someone else is doing something, and you'll be like, hey, check out Fultron.
00:37:46.000You feel like you're cheating, you know, your own voice.
00:37:49.000Well, you're working so much on other people's stuff and then not at all at your own stuff and then all of a sudden your thing is done and you're behind.
00:37:56.000Instead of like at the same spot you were when you started, you're behind.
00:37:59.000Because you don't even know your act anymore.
00:38:12.000He was a writer on one of the big late night shows and he got it pretty young too and he was like, this is the best job I could ever hope for and I think I'm gonna hate myself if I stay here because, you know, I know I want to be a comic.
00:38:27.000I know somewhere that there's something out there I need to be doing.
00:38:29.000So it's like this gilded cage of being a writer.
00:38:32.000Yeah, well, it's also being on a sitcom will do that.
00:38:35.000Being on a sitcom did that to me, for sure.
00:39:10.000And I just realized, I've become a bad comic.
00:39:14.000I used to be good when I was young, and then I got this show, and then over the course of the four years, five years that I was on the show, my act deteriorated.
00:39:21.000And I realized, I gotta get back on the horse.
00:39:23.000And because of that one bombing set, Like a year and a half later, something like that, I got my first album that I did on Warner Brothers.
00:40:03.000Do you know how many fucking dumb meetings we'd have to have with the higher-ups about, you can't say jeans, you can't talk about mommies, you can't...
00:40:09.000Look, we've got a survey and people don't understand what jeans is.
00:40:52.000Because news radio was so good, and the writers were so good, and the guy who ran it, Paul Sims, the executive producer, the creator of the show, he was a genius.
00:41:02.000And one of the things that was brilliant about him, he was, he's still alive, still a genius.
00:41:06.000One of the things that was brilliant about him is he let everybody ad-lib.
00:41:10.000Dave Foley was almost like the secret producer of that show.
00:41:14.000But because he was on news radio right after Kids in the Hall, like he did Kids in the Hall, where he's one of the primary writers, he's a really good writer.
00:41:22.000So he would see, like, you know, the thing is...
00:41:26.000Have you ever been on a sitcom before?
00:41:51.000Maybe it seems like it worked, but it doesn't work.
00:41:53.000And Dave would be the guy that goes, Um, Andy, why don't we try this?
00:41:58.000Like, Vicky, why don't you walk in here, and Andy, you walk in at the same time, and you guys both say the same thing at the same time, and then, you know, he'll, like, come up with, like, a whole new scenario to get this point across to move us into the next scene.
00:42:11.000And he would do that in front of the producers, and they would go, love it, perfect, let's go with that.
00:42:15.000And so they'd rewrite the scene and put Dave's lines in.
00:42:18.000And I swear to God, that might have happened 40% of the time.
00:42:49.000Obtuse, ridiculous guy who was just like just completely, you know, just didn't get it and was like full of himself and he was so good at playing that character that they would just nail his character and he would just go out and smash it.
00:44:44.000I mean, if you don't have talent, he's one of the rare guys that has talent and he's really good at promotion.
00:44:49.000Whereas most, you know, most of the people that are like really, like there's a lot of people that are good at promotion, but they're not talented.
00:44:54.000Right, you need to have some kind of meat for the bone.
00:44:57.000You know who was great at that, though?
00:44:59.000I mean, the OG gangster of it was Dane Cook.
00:45:01.000If you think back to, was it even like Friendster or Myspace?
00:50:16.000But he was like, you would go on stage and even if you killed, even if you had a good set, he would shit on the fact that you had to swear, you broke the fuck meter!
00:50:24.000You were up there breaking the fuck meter!
00:50:27.000Like, you know, you can't do that on TV. There's going to be a lot of guys that are on TV, and they're going to be on TV, and you're going to be back here doing the same jokes, saying the fuck word all the time.
00:50:54.000I remember being told, back to, with comedy I think right now for female comics, I feel like right now there's a particular dichotomy between the Madonna whore thing.
00:51:04.000Either you're young and hot and you're talking about sexual stuff, or you're me.
00:53:11.000I mean, aren't we all living in our own heads?
00:53:13.000Yeah, because a lot of these archetypes that everybody sort of claims are inescapable, then you'll see someone that doesn't fit into that at all, and you go, oh, well, I didn't see that coming, you know?
00:53:26.000Well, I'm trying to think of the big female comics, and they're usually either one or the other, right?
00:55:53.000When Hannibal talked about it on stage, and then it all blew up, which is kind of crazy if you know Hannibal, you know?
00:55:59.000He just happened to be talking about it, and then someone happened to be filming it, and then the rest of the world was like, is that true?
00:56:06.000Because Bill Cosby's always telling people to not swear, especially like, he was big on telling young black comedians not to swear, not to talk about sex.
00:56:15.000And he's like, he goes, Bill Cosby's always telling that?
00:56:17.000Well, he's talking about raping people.
00:59:45.000But, okay, now, on the other hand, on the other hand, I was like, you know, Hollywood is such a labyrinth in terms of, like, getting shit done and getting deals closed and how does this happen?
00:59:55.000It would kind of be nice to be like, you want a Netflix special?
01:02:06.000Protecting people that are sex traffickers.
01:02:10.000Because you could have someone that was sold into sex slavery or in some way bartered their You know, trip to America and had some sort of a sex slave deal.
01:05:23.000Yeah, guys, look, here's the thing about male sex versus female sex, right, is the accepting part of female sex versus the giving, like trying to take this, take it!
01:05:36.000And the other thing is that men literally are constantly building cum.
01:05:42.000While you're alive, your cum is backing up.
01:05:45.000So if you're not, like, I used to have the bit in my act that was really based on advice that I used to give friends when they're like, oh, I don't know, my girl wants to get married.
01:05:59.000Like, if you're having a hard time with someone, and you don't know what to do, and you're going to see them, jerk off first, and then see them.
01:06:06.000And then you'll be able to deal with them without any sexual lust.
01:07:59.000But I think, I mean, I'm just guessing.
01:08:01.000I've never been a media mogul, but I would imagine there's a bunch of factors going on.
01:08:08.000First of all, there's a bunch of people that are constantly kissing his ass and rubbing his ass.
01:08:14.000Like, I saw a picture of him with Renee Zellweger.
01:08:17.000And Renee Zellweger was like cuddling up with him and she had her hand on him and he had his arm on her and there was like some other celebrity to his right and they were like yuck, yuck, yucking it up.
01:08:29.000And I would imagine that there's all these people that recognize that he's this like epicenter of power and success and you want Harvey Weinstein of Miramax to love you and you would get close to him and you have a couple of drinks and you're doing coke together.
01:09:29.000It was one of the articles that I read today.
01:09:31.000I think it was from the Telegraph where this guy was saying that he was at a party or one of his friends was at a party and they were having a conversation with this girl who worked for Harvey and Harvey just said her name from across the room and her face went pale and she immediately just ran away from him to run to her like didn't say excuse me I'll be right back just ran out of fear Who knows?
01:11:50.000To be putting yourself out there as this person with a lot of money who really likes young girls and the young girls go, all I have to do is catch one load.
01:12:00.000I've heard stories about athletes that girls put holes in the condoms or the girls take the condoms out of the trash and squirt them into their pussy.
01:13:39.000And then there's not a lot of answers on the horizon, so they'll go looking for maybe some old rich husband type character, or maybe some way out financially, maybe some business they can start, some clothing line.
01:13:53.000Everyone's We've got a hustle and a scam, but they essentially don't really have a career.
01:13:57.000They have this sort of opening into this world, and then they would have the mansion parties, right?
01:14:03.000I went to one for the Marijuana Policy Project.
01:15:22.000I don't think that the mansion was like a location that actually made money because it was like a destination and they would rent it out for stuff.
01:15:32.000But I don't think the magazine was making money.
01:15:34.000I think the magazine was really struggling.
01:15:35.000Once the internet happened, then you can get pornography for free.
01:18:08.000Essentially, it's what football players get, what boxers get, MMA fighters get it, people with head injuries.
01:18:14.000And one of the things that is a part of that is that you get impulsive and you do irrational things, thoughtless things, almost like you can't help yourself.
01:18:22.000And they think that it's responsible for erratic changes in behavior, violent behavior amongst athletes that have it, especially football players.
01:18:31.000You see some of the really aggressive, fucked up things that football players have done, they attribute some of it to CTE. Yeah.
01:19:37.000He's got a great book called Tribe, and a lot of it is about what happens to people in times of war and what happens to soldiers.
01:19:47.000The camaraderie that they share together, and that even though it's these harrowing, you know, death-filled moments of their life, that when they look back at it, it was their favorite time of life.
01:21:11.000And a lot of those people are listening to this right now.
01:21:14.000One of the things about podcasts that's amazing for that is like people get a chance to hear the way other people live and think and then realize like there is a way out.
01:21:25.000I'm alive and my brain is working and I can think and even though I'm stuck here because I have to pay my bills, this is not permanent.
01:21:32.000I need to figure out my exit strategy and I need to start moving on now and they start doing that and that's a huge factor in people's futures to hear the fact that other people have been stuck I don't know.
01:23:24.000But as an addendum to what you were just saying about that cubicle life, that gray life, and I don't know if this is a function of turning 40 for me, but I've had this thing lately where I'm really acutely aware of my death.
01:26:39.000If you have a computer, or if you have a phone, if you have a regular iPhone or something like that, you can go on YouTube and you can play a yoga class.
01:27:18.000I was like, we didn't have any money, and the bathtub was full and fucked up, and I was like, I'm not going to pay some fucking guy to come here and just snake this thing, and then that's it.
01:34:30.000To have the best possible start, everything is marketed that if you don't do this for your child, they're going to be developmentally behind every other asshole.
01:34:37.000Well, I have to tell you, I've known the human race now for 41 years.
01:39:12.000I had a lady corner me at the Comedy Store and tell me that she's a Reiki healer and she made me put my hand out and I go, what are you gonna do?
01:39:21.000She's like, I'm just gonna just so you can feel it and I go, what am I feeling?
01:39:26.000She goes, just put your hand out and just empty your mind.
01:40:15.000I think when you're killing, like, say if I watch you, if you're on stage and you're killing and I'm sitting in the back of the room, I'm letting you think for me.
01:40:22.000I'm like caught in your trance, right?
01:40:32.000I'm sitting there and I'm allowing, if you're killing and I'm locked into you and I'm really enjoying the show, I'm allowing you to think for me.
01:40:40.000And I'm falling into this trance in sort of a way.
01:40:43.000And when you're making me laugh, then I have confidence in your thought process.
01:40:49.000That I'll let you take the reins, and I'll just sit back and have a good time.
01:40:53.000I think there's something to that because I was hypnotized for the first time last year by a friend of mine.
01:40:59.000His name is Vinny Shorman, and he does a lot of work.
01:41:01.000He's a hypnotist, but he also does a lot of work with fighters.
01:41:04.000And he puts them in this state, and you're entirely conscious while this is happening.
01:41:09.000But he puts you in this very, very relaxed state, and you go over things that you would like to work on or go over things if you want.
01:41:19.000Go over things that are bothering you about the past.
01:41:21.000But what it is is about putting you in a state of mind where you can just relax and think and not be overwhelmed by extraneous information or things outside of your control.
01:43:31.000Yeah, yeah, I think I go with I think it is entirely possible that we sense things that we don't have an understanding of like Sometimes you feel something weird like I was thinking about a friend of mine Yesterday and I hadn't talked to him in a while and he emailed me out of the blue,
01:43:49.000I don't know if that's coincidence, right?
01:43:51.000I don't know what that is, but the odds of it happening I You've got to think of how many times do you think about your friend and they don't email you.
01:47:56.000The real horoscope thing, when you talk to the people that are super into it, they literally want to know what time of the day you were born, what part of the world you were born.
01:49:25.000I had a lady just tell me, right before I shot my special, a psychic, she goes, I go, what do you see in my future?
01:49:31.000And I knew that the special was coming and she didn't even know what I did for a living and she goes, I see you as like an interior designer.
01:50:37.000Well, not 24-7 anymore, but because I grew up alone with my mom, my parents split, and then I was raised by a crazy person, and so I've had to like...
01:50:47.000Re-learn how to think and what's what's the right way to do stuff and I like I said I've been in therapy for a decade So I've had to learn you know like I just had to relearn and it's totally you totally can You know that's the thing like I and I that's why I talk I don't talk about it to be like oh poor me I had this thing but Just didn't let people know if you did grow up kind of wacky you can fucking fix your brain You can reorient you can you can change how you think you don't have to stay sick.
01:51:29.000And what do you get out of the therapy?
01:51:31.000So I believe in psychotherapy like getting back Freudian.
01:51:36.000I like to go back to the initial wound to the root cause.
01:51:39.000I like to go back look because what happens is you get wounded way back when right the childhood trauma the thing and then you grow up and it gets triggered by whatever stuff happens as an adult except now you're all fired up and you're all angry and you're so overreactive and you don't know why well it's probably not because what happened today it's what happened back here.
01:51:58.000So if you resolve the shit back here, then what happens today becomes a lot clearer.
01:54:02.000There's this frantic gambler energy where you see these people, you walk by the card tables and they're just looking and they're like, whoa, you're like watching people in an opium den.
01:54:11.000Yeah, it's depravity, it's low energy, low frequency, the light is synthetic, the air is synthetic, the time stops, I don't like that.
01:54:20.000And you know what I figured out too is that everyone's got the shit, the addictions, the gambling, the compulsive behaviors, because we're afraid to feel the feeling.
01:54:28.000You're just afraid of the feeling, the bad feeling.
01:54:31.000Well, I think it's that, but I think it's also there is a reward to winning, and you're chasing this reward constantly.
01:54:39.000Being afraid of the feeling as much as being addicted to the reward.
01:54:42.000I was reading this article that the guy who created likes on Facebook was saying that not only does he not use Facebook now, that he's got a thing set up on his computer where he can't go to Reddit, and his phone is set up where he can't download apps.
01:54:57.000Like he doesn't like he's like that whole like thing where you go to check to see how many likes you got on a Facebook post you made or something like that like that reward system is like entirely it's addictive and it triggers this this thing in people and that it can hijack your mind I mean that was like literally like the title of the article is that like this technology can hijack your mind Without question.
02:00:24.000There's one that's going on right now.
02:00:27.000It's not visual, but it's a story on my friend Remy Warren.
02:00:32.000On his Instagram page, they were on an island in Alaska and they got attacked by a giant grizzly bear, a giant Kodiak brown bear, a thousand pound bear, knocked them over, ran through the camp.
02:00:44.000One guy was literally riding on the bear's back as it ran down the hill.
02:00:48.000The bear literally attacked and there was so many people and everybody scattered in certain directions and nobody got killed, but they easily could have gotten killed.
02:00:58.000There's that video, but there's also on his Instagram story.
02:01:01.000If you're using the app and you click on his little icon, it's like one of those where you see like a hundred dots in a row and he broke...
02:03:24.000It really made me realize, maybe this is whatever tangent, but I think I'm becoming more of an atheist too.
02:03:31.000You start to realize that it really just is like humans versus the elements.
02:03:36.000Like, it's just us trying to build a fucking house, trying to keep the rodents out, trying to keep your shit safe, bears from eating you, trying to keep your young safe, trying to get them raised.
02:03:46.000We're just animals, but we've got like cars and iPhones and shit, you know?
02:03:51.000Yeah, but there's definitely a lot of that.
02:11:29.000See, now that's an interesting, we were talking about this with Brendan Schaub on our show, and he doesn't like to dress too attractively, like showing off his physique on stage.
02:11:39.000And women, I have a similar problem too.
02:15:54.000One of the theories that I heard that was kind of interesting is that when you are that much of a celebrity in a time where there's no repercussions, like pre-internet, right?
02:17:09.000If you have a room full of people that are just staring at you and you're just doing normal stuff and then you go on stage, it's like you've kind of relaxed.
02:18:57.000And the fantasy, in addition to the like thing, that sort of whatever culture, is the culture of people putting forward their best image all the time.
02:22:12.000It's funny when you're going to see this about your son as he gets older.
02:22:14.000They have their own little way of talking and thinking about things and communicating with you and the little calculated way of interfacing with the world.
02:24:11.000We got many submissions on your mom's house, international submissions of English teachers in their classrooms, teaching them how to say bird is fat in English, and they're speaking Indian or something.
02:25:54.000She was some really hot Russian woman, but I was terrified of her.
02:25:58.000Because she was the wife of some really powerful man.
02:26:02.000And she was making me hang out with her.
02:26:05.000I didn't fuck her in my dreams, but I was basically being...
02:26:12.000Submissive tour, you know, it was very strange and we were on a boat somehow or another like it was super vivid We're looking out and I looked out the window another boat was really close to us But it didn't collide with us all girl, but it was like super vivid and I was thinking like wow This is last night?
02:26:29.000Yeah, and I was thinking, I didn't have any alpha brain before I went to bed either.
02:26:32.000It wasn't like one of those dreams, but it was really vivid.
02:26:36.000And that's one of the things that I'd heard when people stop smoking pot, is that their dreams become very vivid, and you remember your dreams.
02:26:43.000Now, my therapist will do dream analysis on me.
02:26:47.000And it's usually people who represent either feelings you have or...
02:27:04.000You know, it's very unusual for a man to feel like they're in a position where a woman has power over them, unless it's your boss, right?
02:27:11.000So for me, it was like this feeling of this woman who I couldn't say no to, and I was scared of, because she was married to some dictator, you know?
02:28:35.000They have a similar sense of humor and I grew up on Stern and I see Stern is like a paternal You know, he could be my dad like in a lot of ways.
02:28:44.000He's my comedy dad like I grew up just worshiping Howard Stern, yeah So whenever I dream about Stern, I know it's like oh I have it's a dad issue Would you be weirded out if you did a show?
02:29:25.000I didn't want to be that kind of squeaky clean comic.
02:29:27.000So to me, Howard Stern was like this Groundbreaker.
02:29:32.000Like, he was like the first guy to ever just do an all-talk show on regular radio, right?
02:29:37.000I mean, he used to do songs, he used to play records, but then it became just the stuff in between the records was even better, and then it became all that.
02:29:46.000And when I was a kid, I mean, I had heard, like, there were some funny shows in Boston back in the day when they had real DJs and shit like that, but I had always heard about Stern, you know?
02:29:55.000And then once I first started listening to him, And it was like he was on in Boston as well.
02:30:01.000And I was thinking, like, that's the holy grail.
02:30:06.000When you get there, especially then, back in the day when he was on, like, regular radio and everybody was listening, it was like, you know, you'd get, like, 18 million people listening to his show.
02:30:15.000There's nothing ever like that before or since.
02:30:17.000No, and I used to, I worked in my dad's shop.
02:30:19.000My dad had a forklift repair shop, and I'd have to fucking work there every summer.
02:30:23.000And I remember starting at like 12 years old, I started listening to Stern.
02:30:27.000He was on like the radio here in LA in the mornings, and I would be so bummed when those four hours were over, and then I'd have to listen to whoever fucking dickhead was on after, like whatever fake nonsense radio.
02:30:52.000You know, to me, too, he also represented this fight against the suppressive free speech of the right-wing people that were in power at the time because the FCC went after him in a huge way.
02:31:02.000They were fining his station hundreds of thousands of dollars for doing potty jokes or something like that and talking about penises.
02:31:09.000They would attack them and literally fine them hundreds of thousands of dollars.
02:31:14.000It was a direct assault on free speech because it wasn't even words that they were saying.
02:37:33.000Well, you know, because I'm a little traditional.
02:37:35.000I actually am very traditional about this kind of stuff.
02:37:38.000Look, the truth of it is, the fucking guy wearing the string bracelets and the thumb ring and the ponytail and your chakra alignment and the reiki, that's just a fucking thing for him to get laid.
02:37:48.000At the end of the day, he's just trying to convince you to fuck him.
02:37:52.000Well, he's just trying to play the spiritual angle.
02:38:20.000And then they would just be themselves.
02:38:22.000They wouldn't have to, like, I was talking about this tweet that I read that literally made me want to punch my fist through the fucking laptop.
02:38:29.000This guy said, I'm not calling myself a feminist until women tell me I'm doing feminism correctly.
02:38:35.000Like, he's just like literally cutting off his dick and offering it on a platter.
02:41:27.000But I definitely think women have a way harder go at it, because I think that sexual topics, you either are the slut, like you were saying before, or they're weird.
02:41:37.000Because if you're just a regular woman and you're talking to these strangers about how you like your asshole licked and you're really embarrassed about it, people are like, what the fuck?
02:41:59.000They will get mad at you if you're a Trump supporter and you're a woman and you're on stage and there's a bunch of people in the audience that are liberals, they'll get mad.
02:43:55.000Life is too short for me to even worry about what this person thinks or society is thinking.
02:44:00.000Well, I think that what you're seeing on college campuses where people are super radical, left-wing, progressive, and I think you're seeing that with young people as well.
02:44:08.000I think people are just trying to work out the world.
02:44:12.000And sometimes they work out the world by assuming some sort of a behavior pattern.
02:44:18.000And that behavior pattern could be right-wing or it could be left-wing.
02:46:33.000Well, it's one thing that, you know, you start off and you suck, and you keep working at it, and you suck less, and then you start getting laughs, and then you start doing better, and then you start working, and then you keep building, and you keep moving, as long as you keep moving.
02:46:46.000And sometimes you'll have some setbacks, like probably you when you were doing Chelsea lately, and me when I was doing news radio, and, you know, and you just...
02:46:53.000If you can get back on the horse, get back moving, you can pick it up and next thing you know, you got a motherfucking Netflix special!