The Joe Rogan Experience - January 02, 2018


Joe Rogan Experience #1059 - Brian Redban


Episode Stats

Length

2 hours and 54 minutes

Words per Minute

179.09705

Word Count

31,339

Sentence Count

3,272

Misogynist Sentences

65


Summary

In this episode, the boys talk about the end of the world, the future, and H.G. Wells. They also talk about their favorite movies and TV shows from the 80s and 90s, and the weirdest things they thought were going to happen in the future. It's a weird episode, but it's a good one, and we're glad it's the new year! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Thanks to our sponsor, Amazon Prime and VaynerSpeakers. The opinions stated here are our own, not those of our companies, and do not necessarily reflect those of any other companies. We do not own the rights to any music used in this episode. All credit given to original artists and labels used in the music. This episode was produced by us and edited by us. Our theme song is by Suneaters, courtesy of Epitaph Records, and our ad music is by Fugue Records. Thank you for all the support we've gotten so far this year and throughout the past decade. Please remember to rate, review, and subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts! and leave us a review and tell us what you think of the music you've listened to in the comments section! We'll be looking out for you in the next episode, next week! Timestamps: 0:00 - What's your favorite sci-fi movie? 5:30 - What would you like? 6:15 - What do you think about the future? 7:20 - What are you looking forward to? 8:00 9:40 - Is the future going to be better than the past? 11:00s - What kind of utopia? 12:30s - Who are you most likely to have? 13:40s - Is there a better timeline? 15:10 - What is your favorite movie from HG Wells? 16:20s - How do you want to see the future in the 21st century? 17:00Solo? 18: What s your favorite superpower? 19:00-20s? 21: Is it a better than 20th century utopia ? 22:00 + 3:00 Is it possible? 26:00 -- What s the future coming in 2020?


Transcript

00:00:03.000 Is this static I'm hearing just in the headphones?
00:00:06.000 You hearing something?
00:00:07.000 Yeah, but it's gone now, I think.
00:00:10.000 Live?
00:00:11.000 And we're live, and we're live for happy motherfucking new year.
00:00:17.000 Remember when we used to think that the world was going to end?
00:00:19.000 Well, I used to think that the world was going to end in 2012. You even had the license plate.
00:00:24.000 I did.
00:00:25.000 I had a 2012 license plate.
00:00:27.000 I was convinced.
00:00:28.000 I was like, those Mayans, man, they knew it.
00:00:30.000 I thought it was real, for sure.
00:00:32.000 The computer thing.
00:00:33.000 Remember the Y2K? Yeah, I thought that too.
00:00:36.000 I stayed home for Y2K. Paranoid.
00:00:39.000 I was too.
00:00:40.000 The clock rolled over.
00:00:41.000 Planes falling from the sky.
00:00:43.000 Yeah, everybody's worried about the whole grid shutting down, right?
00:00:46.000 They wouldn't be able to get it up for months.
00:00:48.000 People would run out of food.
00:00:50.000 I was listening to Art Bell a lot back then.
00:00:53.000 Oh, cheers.
00:00:54.000 Cheers.
00:00:54.000 Happy New Year.
00:00:55.000 Happy eight years of episodes.
00:00:57.000 Yeah.
00:00:58.000 Eight years of episodes, 2018. 2018 doesn't sound like a real number.
00:01:05.000 It's one of those numbers, you say it and you go, yeah, I guess you're right.
00:01:11.000 But 2018, that's like way too close to 2020, which is like space.
00:01:16.000 That's like the future.
00:01:17.000 It's like a movie.
00:01:19.000 You know, like Alien.
00:01:20.000 When you watch the first Alien...
00:01:23.000 One with Sigourney Weaver from the late 70s.
00:01:26.000 It was like 1979. What do you think the timeline was supposed to be?
00:01:31.000 It's probably 2001. You know?
00:01:34.000 Because there's like a lot of movies.
00:01:36.000 Like I think Blade Runner was something like 2017 or something like that.
00:01:40.000 I want to say, I don't remember, but I want to say Blade Runner was like 2030 or something like that.
00:01:46.000 There was all the flying cars and shit, remember?
00:01:48.000 Weren't there?
00:01:49.000 Flying cars?
00:01:50.000 Or am I thinking of Fifth Element?
00:01:52.000 No, there was flying cars because I remember the cars going through the cool billboards and stuff.
00:01:57.000 I confused my sci-fi movies a lot.
00:02:01.000 Like old ones?
00:02:01.000 Blade Runner's 2019. 2019?
00:02:04.000 Yeah.
00:02:05.000 Oh my god, that's insane.
00:02:07.000 That's a year from now.
00:02:09.000 That's, wow, that's weird.
00:02:11.000 That shows how slow it actually is, technology.
00:02:15.000 You think it's fast.
00:02:16.000 It shows how bad movie writers are at guessing.
00:02:19.000 I don't think it shows anything else.
00:02:21.000 I think the guy who's been the best at predicting shit was like, wasn't H.G. Wells really good?
00:02:28.000 I feel like H.G. Wells, the science fiction author from, I think he was from the 1800s.
00:02:35.000 H.G. Wells.
00:02:36.000 But I think he predicted a lot of shit.
00:02:38.000 There's a couple articles about all the stuff he predicted.
00:02:40.000 Oh, really?
00:02:41.000 Yeah.
00:02:43.000 The many futuristic predictions of H.G. Wells that came true.
00:02:46.000 Alright, let's see what we got here.
00:02:48.000 What did he do?
00:02:50.000 Born 150 years ago.
00:02:52.000 Phones, email, and television.
00:02:54.000 What?
00:02:55.000 Is that real?
00:02:56.000 In Men Like Gods in 1923, Wells invites readers to a futuristic utopia that's essentially Earth after thousands of years of progress.
00:03:05.000 In this alternate reality, people communicate exclusively with wireless systems that employ a kind of co-mingling of voicemail and email-like properties.
00:03:15.000 Holy shit!
00:03:17.000 For in Utopia, except by previous arrangement, people do not talk together on the telephone, he writes.
00:03:25.000 A message is sent to the station of the district in which the recipient is known to be, and there it waits until he chooses to tap his accumulated messages.
00:03:37.000 Whoa!
00:03:39.000 And any that one wishes to repeat can be repeated.
00:03:44.000 Then he talks back to the senders and dispatches any other messages he wishes.
00:03:50.000 The transmission is wireless.
00:03:52.000 How?
00:03:54.000 How?
00:03:55.000 What?
00:03:56.000 I'd like to know if he did drugs back then, like if he was doing mushrooms.
00:03:59.000 Yeah, man, I want to know.
00:04:03.000 He also imagined forms of true entertainment.
00:04:05.000 It says, in When the Sleeper Wakes from 1899, the protagonist rouses from two centuries of slumber to a dystopian London in which citizens used wondrous forms of technology like the audiobook, airplane,
00:04:21.000 and television, yet suffer systematic oppression and social injustice.
00:04:28.000 What in the fuck, man?
00:04:30.000 Mm-hmm.
00:04:32.000 What the fuck, HG Wells?
00:04:35.000 Lasers.
00:04:36.000 Dude, how is he so good?
00:04:38.000 It's probably mushrooms.
00:04:40.000 I mean, think of something that hasn't been invented in a hundred years now.
00:04:44.000 What would you invent?
00:04:45.000 Well, you know what?
00:04:46.000 Here's our problem.
00:04:49.000 I think it's almost impossible, once you know something exists, to imagine a world in which it didn't exist.
00:04:56.000 See, you and I are unique because we're old as fuck.
00:05:00.000 I'm older as fucker than you, but we remember when there was no internet.
00:05:05.000 I think we're the last of the people that are going to remember what life is like when there's no internet.
00:05:12.000 Yeah.
00:05:13.000 And what's next?
00:05:14.000 What's the thing that hasn't been invented that we'll remember we saw the first of?
00:05:18.000 Like VR? Good question.
00:05:20.000 Like having glasses always being...
00:05:22.000 Well, I think that magic leap shit that you know that you've seen that new headset that they Are saying they're gonna eventually wind up selling you have like a hip pack and you wear these goggles.
00:05:31.000 Mm-hmm, dude That seems like step one to me Yeah, Apple is putting all their money in AR instead of VR for that reason, right?
00:05:41.000 That's what this is, right?
00:05:42.000 Mm-hmm This looks like Blade Runner.
00:05:45.000 Yeah, maybe that movie's not so far off The one from Columbus, Ohio?
00:05:50.000 Blade Runner.
00:05:51.000 Oh.
00:05:51.000 Like, maybe they're only off by a year.
00:05:53.000 Ready Player One.
00:05:54.000 Have you seen the preview for that?
00:05:54.000 Ready Player One.
00:05:55.000 That's what pretty much this exact same thing is right here.
00:05:55.000 No.
00:05:58.000 But this is the Microsoft one?
00:06:00.000 What is the difference?
00:06:01.000 This is Magic Leap.
00:06:02.000 Ready Player One's a movie.
00:06:03.000 So Magic Leap is not Microsoft.
00:06:05.000 Which one's the Microsoft one?
00:06:06.000 That would be HoloLens.
00:06:08.000 Magic Leap is the one that's in Florida.
00:06:09.000 They went way away from everybody else so that they're not getting their technology compromised by it.
00:06:15.000 And these are the ones where they had that little dancer that dances on your hand?
00:06:20.000 Oh, okay.
00:06:21.000 So this is the really intense, lifelike, augmented reality one.
00:06:25.000 Nobody knew what it was going to look like.
00:06:27.000 They thought any prototype had a big, giant backpack on, and they finally got it down to this little puck.
00:06:32.000 This is the first time we're actually seeing...
00:06:33.000 This also might not be the final version.
00:06:36.000 It could be smaller, it could be a little bigger.
00:06:38.000 Don't exactly know.
00:06:39.000 Looks cool.
00:06:40.000 It looks very cool.
00:06:41.000 It looks like superhero cool.
00:06:44.000 Yeah.
00:06:44.000 But the thing is, it's so obvious that you're wearing it.
00:06:49.000 Yeah, they need to get rid of that part and integrate it into the headset.
00:06:52.000 There's like this hip part.
00:06:53.000 I don't think you're supposed to wear it in public.
00:06:55.000 At least this.
00:06:56.000 This is probably like a home work type thing.
00:06:59.000 Hmm.
00:07:00.000 Wherever you use a personal computer.
00:07:01.000 I feel like we're looking at the seed of a future thing that's gonna eat us.
00:07:07.000 I'm looking at that, I'm like, that is exactly how it starts.
00:07:13.000 The electronics cling to the outside and become inseparable.
00:07:19.000 And then slowly they work their way into the organism itself, to the inside.
00:07:23.000 The organism will accept symbiosis as long as the electronics stay on the outside.
00:07:29.000 But if it goes inside, like if the only way to use your cell phone was to stick it in your ass, right?
00:07:35.000 That's the only way it works.
00:07:36.000 We have a new cell phone and it works.
00:07:39.000 All you have to do is just stick it in your ass and then just carry it around with you and you make calls with your mind.
00:07:44.000 And it's a flip.
00:07:45.000 We would say no way.
00:07:45.000 Yeah.
00:07:46.000 We can't do it.
00:07:47.000 But as long as the electronics are on the outside.
00:07:51.000 Like, dude, they're going to give you a helmet.
00:07:53.000 The electronics are going to go right into your eyes.
00:07:55.000 You're going to see some shit that's not there.
00:07:56.000 You're like, okay.
00:07:58.000 Wearable clothing tech is the future.
00:08:00.000 There's even, I think, Levi's and Microsoft or Google teamed up, and they're trying to do a jacket, like a tech jacket, where you just look at your jacket and read text and stuff off the sleeve and stuff.
00:08:11.000 Imagine having a shirt and going, like, today I want a purple shirt.
00:08:15.000 Today I want a blue shirt.
00:08:16.000 Or you're getting text messages pop up on your shirt.
00:08:19.000 Or if there's a lost child, the child's face is on everybody's shirt.
00:08:23.000 Fuck.
00:08:23.000 Fuck.
00:08:25.000 I think wearable clothing is going to be pretty big soon.
00:08:28.000 Yeah, especially if you could get your arm, if it actually could open up where it looks like a screen.
00:08:37.000 Yeah.
00:08:37.000 Or if it can get that good, where there's no benefit.
00:08:41.000 And nobody wants a cell phone with a shitty screen.
00:08:43.000 Right.
00:08:44.000 Right?
00:08:44.000 Yeah.
00:08:45.000 Because isn't that the big debate now?
00:08:49.000 They all look amazing to me because I'm going blind.
00:08:51.000 I can barely see.
00:08:52.000 But if I look at the iPhone X versus the Google Pixel 2 XL, they all look really good.
00:09:02.000 Yeah, it's more like brightness now to me.
00:09:04.000 It's like, oh, this one seems brighter.
00:09:05.000 I guess.
00:09:06.000 They all look really good.
00:09:07.000 They all look amazing.
00:09:08.000 I mean, we're really nitpicking, which is good.
00:09:10.000 It just shows you how good things are.
00:09:11.000 But could you ever reproduce that on your sleeve?
00:09:13.000 Yeah, they already have.
00:09:14.000 That perfect?
00:09:15.000 Well, the technology's not 100% there, but they already have bendable LCDs, right?
00:09:21.000 And stuff like that.
00:09:22.000 But the thing is, having it feel like clothing instead of this big chunk that's on your shirt, like those things you see at the mall.
00:09:30.000 I was talking to Gina of Speedweed about this, and the idea of having a hat.
00:09:36.000 Imagine a hat where you can have any logo you want on your hat.
00:09:39.000 You could change it any day.
00:09:40.000 And then you could also have it so it just moves or something.
00:09:44.000 Like if it's the Nike swoosh, you see like the smoke coming out of the, you know.
00:09:48.000 How cool would that be?
00:09:49.000 And it's weird that we don't see that as a normal thing yet.
00:09:53.000 Because it seems like that's already there.
00:09:55.000 You could do that hat right now, probably.
00:09:57.000 Have a little 3G connection so you can download things on it, you know, using the little thing on the top of the hat.
00:10:03.000 Yeah, you probably could.
00:10:05.000 You probably could.
00:10:06.000 I mean, anything that you can imagine in the future is probably going to be possible.
00:10:12.000 Anything you can imagine.
00:10:12.000 Like, anything.
00:10:15.000 I don't think there's going to be a time in our lifetime where change is going to happen as quickly as it's happening now.
00:10:24.000 What about shoes?
00:10:25.000 Where where you could just have like instead of walking your shoes just roll, you know, like like kind of glide along glide.
00:10:32.000 Yeah Isn't that what I was always goofing around about the aliens that what aliens are is what we imagine is us in the future And maybe that's what they really are.
00:10:42.000 Maybe that they're time travelers because if you had to think like If you go back and look at ancient Like Australopithecus.
00:10:52.000 You ever see like a depiction of Australopithecus?
00:10:56.000 It's like this weird sort of half-human monkey things, like one of the first people.
00:11:01.000 And if you go back and look at that, and then you look at a regular person today that maybe, you know, takes a spin class.
00:11:09.000 You know, go to the one where he's standing up.
00:11:13.000 There's some pictures of what they think they would have looked like.
00:11:16.000 It's weird because there is people that look kind of like these people.
00:11:19.000 Sure.
00:11:20.000 Yeah, you'll see them once in a while.
00:11:21.000 Some people that are pretty hairy, too.
00:11:23.000 I mean, they think there's all sorts of different kinds of people, too.
00:11:26.000 That's another thing that we forget.
00:11:28.000 There was a bunch of different kinds of people that died off.
00:11:31.000 But the idea is all these people, right, all these different kinds of little people, they eventually evolve to be human.
00:11:42.000 Right?
00:11:43.000 If they stay alive, they get to a point, well, what happens if you pass the human thing?
00:11:48.000 Do you just stop at human?
00:11:50.000 I don't think you could stop at human.
00:11:51.000 This is not perfect.
00:11:52.000 This is not perfect.
00:11:54.000 This is better.
00:11:55.000 It's better than, you know, killing each other with rocks in the trees.
00:11:59.000 It's better than that.
00:12:00.000 But it's definitely, we're getting better at this.
00:12:03.000 It's obvious we're getting better at being people.
00:12:06.000 Collectively.
00:12:07.000 So like, where does it go?
00:12:09.000 Does it go to we just move everything with our brains and our heads are that big?
00:12:13.000 Robots.
00:12:14.000 And we fuck up the environment so bad that we need sunglasses permanently on the outside.
00:12:18.000 And that's what those alien, the black eyes, we just fixed it.
00:12:21.000 We just give you a fake lens.
00:12:23.000 Your skin's like bulletproof.
00:12:25.000 You move everything with your brain.
00:12:27.000 Nobody needs a mouth anymore.
00:12:29.000 No sex organs.
00:12:30.000 It got too complicated.
00:12:31.000 Gender.
00:12:32.000 This is the year.
00:12:33.000 Like, this is, the machines confused us.
00:12:38.000 And got us to the point where they could deliver orgasms through like little injections in the back of your brain.
00:12:44.000 You just gave them way more intense orgasms than you would ever get jerking off or having sex.
00:12:50.000 And so everybody just stopped having sex and our dicks and vaginas just...
00:12:55.000 They just sealed up.
00:12:58.000 We figured out food to the point where there's no more waste.
00:13:03.000 So no one has to shit.
00:13:05.000 We just nailed it.
00:13:06.000 The perfect balance.
00:13:08.000 No one's ever overweight.
00:13:09.000 That's how they have sex in Demolition, man.
00:13:11.000 They put those headsets on and sit across from each other.
00:13:14.000 Oh yeah, they had their feet in the water.
00:13:16.000 Is that water?
00:13:18.000 It looks like water.
00:13:18.000 No, that's not water.
00:13:19.000 That's where the girl drips into.
00:13:22.000 That's so strange.
00:13:24.000 That's how they had sex.
00:13:25.000 You know, that's probably going to be better.
00:13:27.000 We gave it this physical thing.
00:13:29.000 We gave it a shot.
00:13:31.000 It's too complicated.
00:13:32.000 The food thing makes the most sense because we are probably gonna run out of food and having like the future of food is gonna be really weird where it's just gonna be like almost like a Brick like a vitamin.
00:13:42.000 Well, there's my steak.
00:13:44.000 You know, there's Yeah, man, right the future of food Like when they're you know, there was some article a real recent like I think maybe even today, that was talking about their progress in synthetic meat.
00:14:01.000 To be able to just make meat in a laboratory.
00:14:05.000 Which is, whoo!
00:14:06.000 That's a game changer.
00:14:08.000 Don't they already have it where you can buy it now?
00:14:10.000 I feel like...
00:14:11.000 I was going to bring this up the other day when you talked about it.
00:14:14.000 Fatburger has the Impossible Burger.
00:14:16.000 Oh, but that's a plant-based meat.
00:14:18.000 Yeah.
00:14:19.000 They're not live-based.
00:14:20.000 No, no, no.
00:14:23.000 They've had those for a while.
00:14:25.000 People who are vegan, who used to like cheeseburgers, apparently say that this works.
00:14:32.000 That you can literally...
00:14:35.000 There's some smart people out there.
00:14:36.000 They figure out a way to make things taste different than what they really are.
00:14:40.000 There's a bunch of vegan cheeses and shit that are really good, but that's not what I'm talking about.
00:14:46.000 I'm talking about lab-created meat, actual meat, that they're somehow or another, they have some cloning process or something.
00:14:54.000 Yeah, I saw something about it the other day.
00:14:56.000 They're pretty much there, if not completed with it.
00:15:00.000 I don't know.
00:15:03.000 If they can do that, that's fine.
00:15:05.000 If it tastes the same, I would go with lab-created meat.
00:15:08.000 Lab-created meat.
00:15:10.000 That's probably better for you.
00:15:14.000 I'm just imagining...
00:15:18.000 You know what I'm imagining?
00:15:20.000 Power outage.
00:15:22.000 A warehouse filled with lab-created meat.
00:15:26.000 Stuck in the pipes.
00:15:31.000 What do you think the expiration date is on a lab-created meat?
00:15:34.000 Forever.
00:15:34.000 They just engineer it with the right bacteria so it could stay on the shelf indefinitely.
00:15:39.000 I remember making a mistake that the first time the grocery store had these things called, I don't, complete meals?
00:15:44.000 I don't know what the fuck it's called, but it's like meat, like biscuits and gravy, but not in the cold section, not in the hot section, and you barely had to heat it up.
00:15:52.000 It was just like kind of ready-to-go meals.
00:15:54.000 Me and my friend ate it, but I think we both got sick as fuck.
00:15:57.000 It's so disgusting.
00:15:59.000 But, I mean, they're still out there.
00:16:01.000 This was seven years ago.
00:16:03.000 It's like those little meals for kids that aren't really food.
00:16:08.000 Lunchables.
00:16:08.000 Lunchables?
00:16:09.000 Those things are the worst for people.
00:16:11.000 That's not even food.
00:16:12.000 Yeah, those little cheese things you stick a cracker in?
00:16:15.000 Yeah.
00:16:16.000 Ugh.
00:16:18.000 Ugh.
00:16:19.000 Those are so gross.
00:16:21.000 Some of them.
00:16:22.000 Somebody must have a good one by now.
00:16:24.000 Good little, like...
00:16:26.000 Starbucks has like a decent little snack pack, right?
00:16:30.000 Don't they have one with like celery and beets and shit?
00:16:33.000 Sure.
00:16:34.000 Yeah, they have all this stuff.
00:16:35.000 Starbucks is pretty good.
00:16:36.000 AMC movie theaters has waffles and chicken now.
00:16:39.000 Did you know that?
00:16:40.000 That's amazing.
00:16:42.000 The healthy option thing is because people demand it, right?
00:16:46.000 Why wouldn't they have it?
00:16:47.000 It's like there's money in it.
00:16:49.000 If you go to Starbucks, sometimes if you're trying to not take in too much sugar or something like that, you look at all that stuff and you're like, God damn it, there's got to be something here for me.
00:16:57.000 What's here for me?
00:16:58.000 Like you got all your tasty eyesight options, right?
00:17:02.000 Like those cake pops, like damn, I might just go off the reservation and get a fucking cake pop.
00:17:07.000 It's like weird.
00:17:10.000 They're selling sugar just as much as they're selling coffee, which is great.
00:17:14.000 Have you had the Bantam bagels?
00:17:16.000 The bagel balls?
00:17:17.000 I heard they're amazing.
00:17:21.000 I used to like their chocolate croissants.
00:17:25.000 But then I found the coffee beans chocolate croissants to be more delectable.
00:17:31.000 So if I was going to go off, I'd go to the coffee bean.
00:17:36.000 I don't mess with that.
00:17:37.000 I don't mess with Starbucks.
00:17:39.000 You have a relationship with Starbucks?
00:17:40.000 It's just right next door.
00:17:43.000 Every time I get a coffee bean, though, when you get used to a certain taste of coffee, even if the coffee's better, it's really hard to go, like, that's not an iced coffee.
00:17:51.000 In my head, an iced coffee is Starbucks iced coffee.
00:17:53.000 This is just, like, some other bullshit.
00:17:55.000 Like, I went to Denny's the other day.
00:17:57.000 Maybe the best coffee I've had in a long time.
00:18:00.000 And you can't buy that anywhere.
00:18:02.000 You have to go to Denny's.
00:18:03.000 Yeah.
00:18:03.000 Really?
00:18:04.000 They don't sell Denny's coffee?
00:18:05.000 No, I was looking for a K-cup for it.
00:18:07.000 You know, the little Keurig's cups.
00:18:10.000 Denny's is, uh...
00:18:12.000 That's probably like the biggest breakfast chain ever, right?
00:18:17.000 It's got to be.
00:18:17.000 Yeah.
00:18:18.000 It's like IHOP and Denny's.
00:18:19.000 Those are the two.
00:18:22.000 There's a balance between how delicious it is, how cheap it is.
00:18:28.000 You've got to be real careful with that balance.
00:18:31.000 It's a different concept than a regular restaurant.
00:18:34.000 A regular restaurant But it is a regular restaurant, right?
00:18:38.000 I mean, IHOP's a fucking regular restaurant.
00:18:40.000 I had a burger there the other day.
00:18:42.000 But even if you eat there, you're like, even if you eat healthy there, you're like, I fucked up and went to IHOP. Right.
00:18:47.000 Because everything is so delicious.
00:18:49.000 You're looking at whipped cream on top of shit and the menu and those maraschino cherries.
00:18:54.000 And you're like, oh, Jesus, this is at IHOP? And then you have that row of syrup already on your table.
00:19:01.000 I think I want to add blueberry taste to it.
00:19:03.000 If you're gonna just go off, IHOP's the spot to go off.
00:19:07.000 Did you see the story?
00:19:08.000 Yeah.
00:19:09.000 South Carolina man hilariously cooks himself breakfast at Waffle House while employee sleeps.
00:19:15.000 Oh my god, that's funny.
00:19:18.000 Yeah, he's taking pictures.
00:19:19.000 The guy is just asleep in the corner.
00:19:20.000 Oh my god, that is hilarious.
00:19:23.000 That is hilarious.
00:19:26.000 Oh, my God.
00:19:28.000 Is that illegal?
00:19:29.000 Could those guys get in trouble for that?
00:19:30.000 I mean, taking the pictures and incriminating yourself, probably not the smartest move and putting them online, but probably not.
00:19:38.000 That's a good question.
00:19:39.000 It's like a no harm, no foul kind of thing, I think.
00:19:41.000 No harm, no foul.
00:19:42.000 He got hurt in this situation.
00:19:44.000 I wonder if he put money down, though.
00:19:45.000 He said he came back.
00:19:46.000 It says he came back the next day and gave a $5 tip.
00:19:49.000 Wow.
00:19:53.000 One employee working a whole Waffle House.
00:19:56.000 What if like 10 people walk in?
00:19:58.000 20 people walk in?
00:20:00.000 That seems weird.
00:20:01.000 That seems ridiculous.
00:20:04.000 I hate Waffle House.
00:20:06.000 Waffle Houses are amazing.
00:20:07.000 You like Waffle House?
00:20:08.000 Yeah, man.
00:20:09.000 If you're on the road, it's like 3 o'clock in the morning.
00:20:11.000 They're like the greatest things that have ever existed.
00:20:14.000 If you're on the road, like...
00:20:17.000 Let's pick up some weird spot in South Carolina or something like that.
00:20:20.000 That's exactly where this was.
00:20:21.000 Ooh.
00:20:22.000 West Columbia.
00:20:23.000 See?
00:20:23.000 West Columbia.
00:20:24.000 Jesus.
00:20:25.000 That was just a straight-up guess.
00:20:28.000 All the Waffle Houses in Ohio are connected to strip clubs, so I always considered it being gross food because...
00:20:34.000 I don't know.
00:20:36.000 Yeah, man.
00:20:38.000 We've probably been to about 10 of those on the road.
00:20:40.000 Yeah.
00:20:41.000 They're always a good option.
00:20:44.000 It's also 24 hours, so...
00:20:45.000 Yeah, that's right.
00:20:46.000 That's why it's so crazy.
00:20:48.000 That's why it gets weird.
00:20:50.000 Waffle houses get weird.
00:20:53.000 3 a.m.
00:20:54.000 New Year's Eve, Waffle House.
00:20:57.000 All it takes is one crazy person to walk in.
00:21:02.000 Guy Fiera just had to close his restaurant.
00:21:04.000 You say that with glee.
00:21:07.000 Why do you do that?
00:21:10.000 He's a Columbus, Ohio native.
00:21:11.000 Is he?
00:21:12.000 He looks like a Columbus, Ohio native.
00:21:15.000 You gotta support your own.
00:21:16.000 No, I'm just saying that went fast.
00:21:20.000 Guy Fieri is a funny guy.
00:21:24.000 I like people that wear their sunglasses backwards on their neck.
00:21:29.000 But you know what I don't get with him is why so many people get rigged.
00:21:32.000 I guess they don't like that he spikes his hair.
00:21:35.000 They don't.
00:21:36.000 What is it that they don't like?
00:21:38.000 I think it's just an easy target.
00:21:39.000 I don't know if they don't like him.
00:21:40.000 I mean, he seems nice.
00:21:42.000 I met him once.
00:21:43.000 He was nice.
00:21:44.000 I mean, I don't care if he likes to wear his hair like that.
00:21:47.000 It's like a Don King thing.
00:21:48.000 Am I mad at Don King?
00:21:49.000 He can't change his look.
00:21:50.000 That's what he's known for now.
00:21:51.000 Is it racist if a white guy with blonde hair spikes his hair up and people just automatically assume you're a douche?
00:21:57.000 Is that racist?
00:21:57.000 It's like a Nickelback thing.
00:21:58.000 People don't really hate them.
00:22:00.000 I mean, they probably do a little bit, but...
00:22:02.000 I wear my hair like that sometimes.
00:22:03.000 Billy Corgan, I don't know if he was trolling or not.
00:22:06.000 I don't think he was.
00:22:07.000 He was talking to me about how good he thinks Nickelback is.
00:22:12.000 Oh.
00:22:14.000 I think Nickelback has some fucking good songs.
00:22:16.000 I do.
00:22:17.000 I do.
00:22:18.000 What song?
00:22:18.000 I know the main problem people had back in the day.
00:22:21.000 Fuck you, man.
00:22:22.000 Listen, I enjoy the way that rock star song sounds.
00:22:27.000 I know that's sort of a song that's been covered, you know, like that style of song has been covered a few times, right?
00:22:36.000 But I like that one.
00:22:38.000 I mean, I like the Cypress Hill one better, remember?
00:22:42.000 So if you want to be a rockstar, you know, it's the same thing.
00:22:49.000 It's the same thing.
00:22:51.000 It's the same thing.
00:22:52.000 It's like there's a style of song of like describing what is the lifestyle of a rockstar.
00:22:58.000 The only problem with the Nickelback song is that it had been done before.
00:23:01.000 Because if it hadn't been done before, they did a really job covering that subject.
00:23:08.000 Their take on it was good.
00:23:11.000 It was very polished.
00:23:13.000 Maybe too polished for some people.
00:23:16.000 We like shit raw.
00:23:17.000 We like to hear that Janis Joplin growl.
00:23:20.000 We like to hear Amy Winehouse.
00:23:23.000 There's something we like about that raw shit just to remind us.
00:23:28.000 Remind us, you're just like us.
00:23:30.000 That's the problem I think some musicians have with Nickelback.
00:23:34.000 They're sort of considered, at least they were, what's called an in-the-box type of band, at least for recording purposes.
00:23:40.000 Aren't they Canadian?
00:23:41.000 That's it.
00:23:41.000 Yeah.
00:23:42.000 That's all it is.
00:23:42.000 That's all it is.
00:23:44.000 Canadians are so nice, you don't believe them.
00:23:46.000 They would record no effects on their sounds, on their guitar.
00:23:52.000 For instance, no distortion, no delay.
00:23:54.000 They would record literally putting the guitar right into this board, kind of, and it records this real weird electronic sound that you could manipulate completely in Pro Tools later, changing everything about it.
00:24:05.000 They were like one of the first bands that got popular doing that, I think.
00:24:08.000 And so that's sort of like, I'm sure traditional musicians had a big problem with it.
00:24:12.000 Isn't Nickelback the band that every single one of their songs sound exactly the same, like whiny?
00:24:17.000 That guy?
00:24:19.000 That's Nickelback.
00:24:20.000 It's not whiny.
00:24:22.000 I wouldn't say whiny.
00:24:23.000 I'd say it's poppy.
00:24:25.000 It's like very good pop music.
00:24:28.000 I mean, I'm trying to be nice here.
00:24:33.000 I like a lot of their songs.
00:24:36.000 But I'm trying to be nice here.
00:24:37.000 Like, I understand if people would get upset that it's not their style of music.
00:24:42.000 You know?
00:24:43.000 There's people that, like, they'll play something for you.
00:24:47.000 Like, they'll play the Beatles.
00:24:49.000 Like, Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.
00:24:52.000 You put on some headphones and listen to Lucy.
00:24:54.000 Smoke a joint.
00:24:55.000 Put on some headphones and listen to a song.
00:25:00.000 That was created by the first wave of British superstars that came to America and they're on acid and they're saying about Lucy in the sky with diamonds and it's amazing.
00:25:15.000 It's amazing.
00:25:19.000 Do that.
00:25:27.000 Right now?
00:25:28.000 You want us to do it right now?
00:25:31.000 I want to think about this for a second.
00:25:37.000 Just imagine...
00:25:38.000 Imagine what it was like back then.
00:25:45.000 Imagine being in like 1960, whatever the fuck it was, when all this was going on.
00:25:55.000 What are you playing in the background?
00:25:58.000 It takes forever.
00:25:59.000 I thought I was going crazy.
00:26:00.000 Am I too stoned?
00:26:02.000 I was listening to Led Zeppelin came on last night and I forgot.
00:26:04.000 I don't know how to say the word Dire Maker.
00:26:06.000 How do you say the name of that song?
00:26:07.000 It's a badass song.
00:26:08.000 I forgot.
00:26:09.000 Oh, dude, there's so many good songs.
00:26:13.000 There's so many good songs.
00:26:15.000 Now, this is the thing.
00:26:16.000 These songs are better.
00:26:18.000 They're better than Nickelback.
00:26:20.000 But Nickelback's not bad.
00:26:23.000 It's just, if you want to compare Jimi Hendrix to the rest of the world, the rest of the world's gonna suck a fat dick.
00:26:30.000 There's a guy that knew how to do it better than everybody else.
00:26:34.000 Doesn't mean that...
00:26:36.000 Doesn't mean Eric Clapton wasn't an amazing guitarist.
00:26:39.000 It means everybody always looks at Jimi Hendrix in a better way.
00:26:43.000 For whatever reason, man.
00:26:45.000 For whatever reason.
00:26:46.000 You know, I'm sure there's people that would see it the opposite way.
00:26:50.000 Doesn't mean Nickelback sucks.
00:26:53.000 They're better than your band, bro.
00:26:57.000 Like, they would just wear the Beatles, you know?
00:27:00.000 Yeah, but that's like a...
00:27:00.000 I guess there's a different category between, like, you know, the Beatles, Led Zeppelin, and Nickelback, right?
00:27:06.000 Maybe there is.
00:27:06.000 Maybe.
00:27:07.000 But maybe we should just relax.
00:27:09.000 I mean, I'll take two smash mouths over.
00:27:12.000 I'm just saying maybe we should just relax.
00:27:14.000 Like, about everything.
00:27:15.000 I think we're picking, we're looking for tribal enemies that don't exist.
00:27:19.000 You know, just because you like to eat, you know, falafels and, you know, like extra ketchup on your fries and I don't.
00:27:26.000 You know, or you like to go running and I like to take naps.
00:27:30.000 You know, who cares?
00:27:33.000 This is my perspective in 2018. I think the more we can relax that, we will have less conflict, interpersonal conflict, which often fuels extra-personal conflict.
00:27:45.000 This is 2018. Gotta let it go.
00:27:48.000 You can like Nickelback.
00:27:51.000 I told somebody that I like Ellie King, and they gave me like a sidewards face.
00:27:56.000 I'm like, fuck you.
00:27:58.000 I don't even know who that is.
00:27:59.000 You know who that is?
00:28:00.000 No.
00:28:01.000 You ever heard that song, X's and O's?
00:28:03.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.
00:28:04.000 Dude, she's badass.
00:28:05.000 X's and O's.
00:28:06.000 Her whole album is badass.
00:28:08.000 What is that album called?
00:28:11.000 Do you call it an album anymore?
00:28:12.000 Because it was an album and then you were an old man if you were calling it an album.
00:28:17.000 It's a CD, bro.
00:28:18.000 Then it stopped being a CD and it became an album again.
00:28:21.000 I download, so I just say I downloaded it.
00:28:23.000 Right, but what do you say?
00:28:25.000 You say it's an album.
00:28:25.000 I still say CD, I think.
00:28:28.000 I don't think I do album.
00:28:30.000 But do you remember when people would mock you if you said album?
00:28:34.000 Because they'd be like, you mean CD? It's just CD now.
00:28:37.000 You call it a CD. Like, oh, okay, okay.
00:28:39.000 That was like a phase where people got cunty about the distinctions between CDs and albums.
00:28:45.000 And then all of a sudden, vinyl made a little comeback...
00:28:49.000 During the CD era, people decided that vinyl was...
00:28:51.000 How would you describe it, Jamie?
00:28:52.000 What's the difference between the sound?
00:28:55.000 Oh, it's warmer.
00:28:56.000 That's right.
00:28:56.000 It's got a nice warm sound.
00:28:57.000 You always say warmer.
00:28:58.000 Hey, vinyl's huge now.
00:29:00.000 Yeah, it's still big.
00:29:01.000 I went to a vinyl store the other day that was like being in a record store in the 70s.
00:29:06.000 It was all vinyl.
00:29:07.000 Well, people are digging it, man.
00:29:08.000 They get into it.
00:29:10.000 It's a tactile relationship with the music.
00:29:13.000 That's what Henry Rollins was explaining to me.
00:29:15.000 And the way he describes it, it's really intoxicating because he's such an addict to that kind of music.
00:29:22.000 And he has...
00:29:23.000 Whole set up in his house with these crazy speakers that are like stupid expensive and he has this amazing record collection and he'll just sit there and play his records.
00:29:32.000 And he does a radio show, I believe it's once a week, is it once a week?
00:29:37.000 He does a radio show once a week where he picks the songs and he plays the music.
00:29:44.000 It's all his selections.
00:29:46.000 What is it on KCRW? Yeah, so he's got these fucking nutty-ass speakers, man.
00:29:55.000 Look at these things.
00:29:56.000 And he stands in front of these things.
00:29:58.000 I really enjoyed talking to him, man.
00:30:01.000 He's a uniquely unusual person.
00:30:04.000 I always thought he was like, I'm gonna be completely honest.
00:30:10.000 When he was a young guy and he did that Beavis and Butthead thing, Liar.
00:30:16.000 Do you remember that?
00:30:17.000 What?
00:30:18.000 Beavis and Butthead, it was hilarious, dude.
00:30:21.000 He had an amazing song called I'm a Liar.
00:30:25.000 You ever seen Rollins?
00:30:26.000 You don't know that song?
00:30:27.000 It was like one of his breakout hit songs.
00:30:30.000 Remember that?
00:30:31.000 He was super jacked.
00:30:32.000 That was in his full-on powerlifting days.
00:30:35.000 And I remember seeing him going, this guy is like way too intense.
00:30:39.000 How is this a fucking singer in a band?
00:30:42.000 That guy looks like he wants to rip your fucking head clean off your body and just pull your guts through your neck hole.
00:30:50.000 He looked so crazy scary.
00:30:53.000 And I could never figure it out.
00:30:55.000 I was like, that's so weird that this guy is a singer.
00:30:58.000 In my mind, a singer had to be a certain type of person.
00:31:02.000 They had to be a Jon Bon Jovi.
00:31:04.000 Or they had to be Robert Plant.
00:31:06.000 There was a style that you could be a singer.
00:31:08.000 And he was just this completely new weird thing.
00:31:11.000 This jacked up power lifter covered in tattoos.
00:31:14.000 I was like, whoa!
00:31:16.000 But when you meet him, maybe it's because I'm meeting him later in his life when he's Mellowed and matured, but he is one of the most fascinating guys I've ever talked to.
00:31:27.000 One of the most absolutely unique individuals.
00:31:30.000 Like, oh, I never met one of you.
00:31:34.000 The guy is obsessed with productivity and work and creating.
00:31:39.000 He writes for a bunch of different publications.
00:31:39.000 Obsessed with it.
00:31:42.000 Constantly writing.
00:31:44.000 Goes to places, just gets on a plane, flies over to that spot, lands, buys water, and starts fucking meeting people.
00:31:44.000 Constantly traveling.
00:31:52.000 Doesn't know where the fuck he is.
00:31:55.000 Just puts himself in these weird positions.
00:31:58.000 And some of them, like, super dangerous.
00:32:01.000 Fascinating guy, man.
00:32:03.000 Never met a guy like him.
00:32:04.000 I heard him on Ari's podcast.
00:32:06.000 One of the main podcasts that he did that really, like, fucking blew my mind was him describing all this travel that he does on Ari's show.
00:32:18.000 Because, you know, Ari's a travel nut, too.
00:32:19.000 So the two of them together, it's like, wow.
00:32:23.000 I think he probably was one of the inspirations, or at least helped fuel the inspiration that Ari had when he already took off for like four months.
00:32:32.000 I didn't know he was on Ari's podcast.
00:32:34.000 That's a good catch for Ari.
00:32:36.000 It's an amazing episode.
00:32:37.000 I believe they were in Edinburgh.
00:32:40.000 I believe they were there for the Fringe Festival in Edinburgh.
00:32:44.000 And I think that Ari was performing, and he's going to get mad.
00:32:49.000 I know he told me this story, and I don't remember it.
00:32:51.000 You hear a lot of stories, though.
00:32:53.000 I heard too many.
00:32:54.000 Somehow or another, someone set it up.
00:32:56.000 But it's a great podcast, nonetheless, however it transpired.
00:33:00.000 But Henry Rollins is...
00:33:03.000 Here it is.
00:33:04.000 Not all those who wander are lost.
00:33:06.000 That's exactly what the name is.
00:33:09.000 Skeptic Tank 277. Yeah.
00:33:12.000 It's an awesome podcast.
00:33:14.000 I mean, like a life changer.
00:33:16.000 Like you listen to that podcast and what he gets out of travel, you go, oh yeah, why wasn't I looking at it that way?
00:33:25.000 Like, you know, why was I just going to places going up?
00:33:27.000 Can you drink the water?
00:33:28.000 Is this safe?
00:33:29.000 Like, is this okay?
00:33:31.000 Whereas he's going over there going, what do you do, man?
00:33:34.000 What's going on?
00:33:35.000 Like, what are you people up to?
00:33:36.000 He's, like, really, like, going into uncharted territories all the time on a regular basis.
00:33:43.000 Picks a spot on the map, just goes.
00:33:47.000 That's one of the things that I've always said about Ari.
00:33:49.000 I like people who just go for it.
00:33:51.000 Ari Shafir just goes for it.
00:33:54.000 He goes away for four months.
00:33:56.000 He just vanishes.
00:33:57.000 He goes for it with how he does comedy.
00:33:59.000 I'm going to go do comedy in China.
00:34:00.000 He just goes for it.
00:34:03.000 It would be funny when he vanishes that he actually has another life that he doesn't tell anybody about, like a family, kids.
00:34:11.000 Gay husband.
00:34:12.000 Didn't he have an entire another life when you guys did a podcast together and Ari did Salvia on your podcast?
00:34:21.000 Yeah.
00:34:21.000 And the way he described it is like he...
00:34:26.000 I'm not conflating these, right?
00:34:27.000 This is...
00:34:28.000 Am I confusing this?
00:34:29.000 This is when...
00:34:30.000 It was the same...
00:34:30.000 He did it on your podcast.
00:34:32.000 Yeah.
00:34:33.000 And then this was the Salvia trip where he said that he lived like a whole life for like three months.
00:34:38.000 And there was something with water in a bus or something like that.
00:34:41.000 Well, there was...
00:34:42.000 I'm sure he's described it somewhere.
00:34:42.000 He...
00:34:44.000 Yeah, I'll find out.
00:34:48.000 He felt like he had lived a whole life like for months a whole different life for months and then came back from that trip Like it just happened he realized oh my god, no, I just took salvia They really got rid of salvia fast,
00:35:07.000 Remember when that was legal, you just buy it online, and then within like a year, they just kind of took care of salvia.
00:35:07.000 didn't they?
00:35:14.000 What is the distinction legally for salvia now?
00:35:17.000 I don't know.
00:35:18.000 What's the scheduling?
00:35:18.000 They went fast on that.
00:35:20.000 Legal marijuana.
00:35:21.000 But dude, salvia is way stronger than marijuana.
00:35:25.000 This is what people didn't know.
00:35:27.000 People were going to their pot dealers, and they're trying to get some good weed.
00:35:33.000 You want to have a good experience.
00:35:35.000 Salvia used to be for sale at head shops everywhere, and it was one of the most blow-out-of-your-fucking-mind psychedelics you could ever encounter.
00:35:45.000 You still buy it?
00:35:48.000 I used to buy it times 80 concentrated.
00:35:52.000 120x right here.
00:35:53.000 120x?
00:35:53.000 Oh, Jesus.
00:35:54.000 It's even stronger now.
00:35:55.000 Oh, my God.
00:35:58.000 I bet it's not legal.
00:36:00.000 I wonder if it shows what states they will ship to, or if you try to buy it, it tells you, like, hey, this is illegal.
00:36:07.000 It says it's legal in most parts of the world, including the United States.
00:36:10.000 Here's the big problem with all these things.
00:36:13.000 I think all these things could be handled way better than they have been.
00:36:16.000 So people are going buck wild with them.
00:36:19.000 Whether it's mushrooms or whether it's LSD or anything, people left these important compounds in the hands of people that were willing to take them illegally.
00:36:30.000 And that's where most of our data is coming from.
00:36:34.000 Because they couldn't do any tests on anything.
00:36:36.000 Everything was just schedule one, schedule one.
00:36:40.000 But the people that tested it, they're all, you know, people willing to take mushrooms.
00:36:45.000 It's a lot of people that would just white knuckle that shit to death.
00:36:49.000 Me included at various times in my life.
00:36:52.000 You tried to bring me mushrooms, I'd white-knuckle myself to death.
00:36:55.000 So it was the people, the only sampling size that we have from the benefits, the people that were wild enough to do it.
00:37:01.000 Like, what if we had actual scientists studying this shit, going, hey, maybe if we took this stuff in, like, low doses, we could evolve quicker.
00:37:08.000 Like, this really might be something, there might be something legitimate to the idea that stoned ape theory is that humans discovered psilocybin mushrooms, and that's why the brain grew Like, double its size over a period of two million years.
00:37:20.000 That's the theory, I think, right?
00:37:23.000 Mushrooms could have totally been in that mix.
00:37:25.000 With all the other stuff, too.
00:37:26.000 All the other stuff, the throwing arm, hunting, is a film on the Naughty Show podcast from an old Death Squad studio.
00:37:34.000 Oh, he said, what happened was I took a hit of salvia, but I didn't quite take a big enough hit or I didn't hold it long enough.
00:37:41.000 So it took me right to the edge of disappearing into my mind, but it didn't quite get me through the barrier.
00:37:48.000 So I took another hit.
00:37:50.000 This time the hit was as big as I could possibly muster.
00:37:53.000 It was massive.
00:37:54.000 And I held it for a really long time.
00:37:57.000 That hit alone would have been enough to make me obliterate my consciousness.
00:38:02.000 But that hit, coupled with the one from before that got me almost there, put me in another place.
00:38:10.000 I was in a lake in the backyard of my childhood home.
00:38:13.000 But I wasn't me swimming there.
00:38:15.000 I was a new being who lived under water.
00:38:18.000 It took me a little bit of time to learn how to breathe water, but then I learned.
00:38:23.000 And I was there for a while.
00:38:25.000 I mean, like, months.
00:38:27.000 At least.
00:38:28.000 I estimate I was there anywhere from four months to two years.
00:38:33.000 I made friends.
00:38:34.000 I had a life.
00:38:36.000 All underwater.
00:38:37.000 At some point in my new life, I saw Sam Tripoli at the shore of the lake.
00:38:42.000 So I swam up to him to investigate.
00:38:45.000 Parenthesis, he was just sitting...
00:38:47.000 In the chair across from me in reality.
00:38:50.000 That's when they started pulling me back into this existence.
00:38:53.000 But what they didn't know was that I couldn't breathe air anymore.
00:38:57.000 I'd forgotten how after breathing underwater for so long.
00:39:01.000 I had to relearn the experience of breathing.
00:39:06.000 And he says, man, that was a good trip.
00:39:07.000 It looked hellish if you watched the video, but what's important to understand is that the That the hellish part was not me wanting to leave my friends, family, and life in the lake.
00:39:17.000 It was just adjusting back to this reality that hurt.
00:39:20.000 But the months or years I was living there were some of the most beautiful and peaceful of my life.
00:39:28.000 Oh shit, Ari's brain broke.
00:39:31.000 Now we should look at the video and imagine that he lived there for four years.
00:39:35.000 It's totally different when you see it.
00:39:36.000 Now I feel bad for getting him into drugs.
00:39:39.000 Look, now here's what the four years he went through.
00:39:42.000 You're allowed to play audio.
00:39:44.000 He's a little blankie and he's snuggling.
00:39:48.000 He's still holding it.
00:39:50.000 I think he's sleeping or he's dead.
00:39:52.000 So this is a video that we're watching that all took place in Brian's apartment.
00:39:56.000 I think he's dead.
00:40:00.000 Somebody give me his fucking phone.
00:40:02.000 All right, guys, shh.
00:40:03.000 Stop.
00:40:05.000 Oh my god, you had to shush people.
00:40:07.000 Well, it's like he was tripping hard.
00:40:09.000 I didn't want him to freak out.
00:40:10.000 You're right.
00:40:11.000 Good call, Sam Tripoli.
00:40:13.000 Shut your mouth.
00:40:14.000 Who else is there?
00:40:15.000 Tripoli and who else?
00:40:15.000 Tripoli, Jason Tebow, Allison, and Matty Kirsch, maybe?
00:40:20.000 Oh, what a great time to trip.
00:40:21.000 All those people staring at you, talking mad shit while you're blowing out of your mind into another dimension.
00:40:27.000 Grab him.
00:40:27.000 Oh, no, man.
00:40:29.000 Just take your mind out.
00:40:31.000 Wow.
00:40:36.000 This is something long, so I think probably people, because this is something you gotta, it only works visually, but if you see it visually, it's fascinating.
00:40:45.000 So it's Ari Shafir on Salvia, and it's on Brian's, is it on yours?
00:40:50.000 Yeah, it's on mine.
00:40:51.000 So on Redband's YouTube page, Ari Shafir on Salvia.
00:40:56.000 Poor Ari.
00:40:57.000 Poor Ari.
00:40:59.000 Salve is why I never did DMT, because I had too many, like, okay, I'm too old for this, I'm gonna break my brain moments that I'm like, I don't need to do anymore.
00:41:07.000 Yeah, there's some weird, weird drugs out there.
00:41:11.000 Really, really weird ones.
00:41:13.000 And part of the problem with, like, legal definitions...
00:41:17.000 For like what is and isn't legal is like it's it's kind of weird and blurry like there was some stuff called 5-MeO dimethyltryptamine which is the most potent form of DMT and up until like the year 2000 and like you'd be able to order it online They would just send it to you.
00:41:35.000 It's legal just says not for human consumption.
00:41:37.000 They're like, I don't know what you're doing with it But here it is pure And you'd be able to get enough to blast yourself in the universe every day of your life until you're dead for like 50 bucks.
00:41:48.000 It was crazy.
00:41:50.000 It was crazy.
00:41:51.000 It was the Wild West because people didn't know what it was yet.
00:41:54.000 Because they had made a distinction that NN-dimethyltryptamine, which is the one that gives you all the visual hallucinations, that that was more illegal.
00:42:05.000 That was a Schedule I drug.
00:42:08.000 But they had listed 5-methoxy-dimethyltryptamine, so it was in this weird state of limbo.
00:42:15.000 Salvia, they just missed it.
00:42:16.000 What?
00:42:17.000 That stuff?
00:42:18.000 Get the fuck out of here.
00:42:19.000 I can't believe it's still legal.
00:42:21.000 Dude, there's probably a shitload of those in the Amazon.
00:42:23.000 There's probably a shitload of things that have never been discovered, and you eat some fruit, and you fucking go blast off into the center of the universe.
00:42:31.000 I bet if we could allow...
00:42:36.000 If we all decided, alright, we're gonna leave, let's have humans live everywhere except one really big spot.
00:42:45.000 No people can live in this one really big spot.
00:42:48.000 We gotta manage other kind of ecosystems in a more hands-off sort of a way, because we're just so deep, except for like the Congo and places like that.
00:42:58.000 But if there was like one country where everybody agreed, Alright, let's just leave this, leave this spot alone.
00:43:04.000 No one go in there.
00:43:05.000 Let's see what happens.
00:43:07.000 Let's see how nature evolves while we observe it with modern methods.
00:43:12.000 Just like step back for a few hundred years.
00:43:14.000 Just as a human project.
00:43:16.000 Let's see what kind of shit grows in there.
00:43:18.000 If you just leave it alone.
00:43:20.000 Because we're so fucking snippy snippy.
00:43:22.000 Let me get in there.
00:43:23.000 Let me dig.
00:43:24.000 Let me fucking cut these down and I'll plant new ones.
00:43:26.000 Don't worry about it, bro.
00:43:27.000 I'm going to plant new ones.
00:43:28.000 Dude, I got this.
00:43:29.000 I cut down the forest.
00:43:30.000 I put some new ones in.
00:43:33.000 Not saying that I'm not hypocritical sitting here in front of a wood desk.
00:43:36.000 You know?
00:43:37.000 I'm not saying don't do it.
00:43:39.000 I mean, think of how weird that is.
00:43:39.000 But...
00:43:44.000 Just leave all that shit alone who knows what kind of weird symbiotic relationships we could have with plants That might have easily been how they came up with ayahuasca in the first place They're probably eating a bunch of weird fucking plants and all those plants were talking with all those other plants And I'm like listen,
00:44:04.000 I know I know where we can get this shit bumping way quicker We got to get these monkey people To figure out how to eat these mushrooms and turn into regular people.
00:44:16.000 Imagine?
00:44:17.000 Imagine if that's really what it was all along, just grasses and leaves communicating to us through some non-verbal language and giving us this idea of how to do certain things.
00:44:31.000 And all these things are all just designed to get us to eat the mushrooms.
00:44:34.000 We eat the mushrooms, get to the point where we accelerate, to the point where we have enough brain power and enough people combined interacting with each other and sharing information that we can build artificial life.
00:44:46.000 And then that becomes the new thing.
00:44:50.000 Or, along the way, we become the aliens.
00:44:52.000 We figure out how to use that CRISPR technology.
00:44:57.000 CRISPR technology?
00:44:58.000 You know what that is?
00:44:59.000 Yeah.
00:45:00.000 It's some new thing I brought up on the podcast a lot.
00:45:03.000 So if you've heard it before, I apologize.
00:45:05.000 But it's some sort of a...
00:45:06.000 I'm going to butcher the definition again.
00:45:08.000 It's some sort of a genetic altering system that they're creating.
00:45:14.000 A gene-changing system where they can do things to the human body, potentially.
00:45:20.000 Where they can alter genetics.
00:45:22.000 They can alter DNA. It's very complicated, and I'm doing a terrible job describing it.
00:45:29.000 What it is, essentially, for a dumb person like me, really super smart people have figured out a way to change biology.
00:45:37.000 They might be able to turn genes on and off, like for autism, for Alzheimer's.
00:45:43.000 Like weird, weird genes that create birth defects or various illnesses that we've been able to figure out how to target, that we identify rather, they might be able to target those things.
00:45:55.000 They'll shut things off, turn things on.
00:45:59.000 And I think there was an article really recently saying that the original CRISPR is now even out of date and the new one is far superior.
00:46:08.000 They're just getting better at it.
00:46:10.000 They shot some shit into some dude.
00:46:13.000 There was a guy who had a disease and it was I believe it was an incurable disease.
00:46:18.000 He was the first human recipient of CRISPR technology.
00:46:23.000 That's like seeing in a science fiction movie, right?
00:46:25.000 You hear about the first guy that gave it a chance?
00:46:28.000 CRISPR 2.0 is here and it's way more precise.
00:46:32.000 See if you could find the article about the guy that was the first human recipient for CRISPR. Why is it spelled like that?
00:46:41.000 Like a 14-year-old emo kid wrote it in the basement.
00:46:44.000 There's no E. It's just C-R-I-S-P-R. I think they wanted it to be catchy.
00:46:49.000 And I think it's also, what is that, an acronym?
00:46:52.000 It's an acronym, right?
00:46:54.000 Yeah.
00:46:55.000 I always fuck up acronym and the other one.
00:46:57.000 Like, what's the D-E-A? It's an acronym.
00:46:59.000 That's an acronym?
00:47:00.000 Yeah.
00:47:01.000 I thought it was an acronym when you said it.
00:47:03.000 When it could become as a word?
00:47:05.000 Yes.
00:47:06.000 I don't think it matters.
00:47:07.000 Like, NIST. I don't know.
00:47:09.000 Right?
00:47:10.000 NASA. Like, you say NASA. You don't say the N-A-S-A. Right?
00:47:15.000 So what's the difference between those?
00:47:18.000 I think NASA isn't...
00:47:19.000 I'm so dumb.
00:47:19.000 Is that...
00:47:21.000 No, that's just weird knowledge.
00:47:23.000 An abbreviated form of the initial letters of other words and pronounced as a word.
00:47:29.000 So NASA would be an acronym, so I was right.
00:47:29.000 As a word, okay.
00:47:33.000 That was dumb as I thought.
00:47:35.000 Have another drink.
00:47:36.000 I was super nervous.
00:47:37.000 I've always been insecure about those kind of things, that you probably should know what an acronym is.
00:47:45.000 I don't know any of that shit anymore.
00:47:47.000 How do you remember that?
00:47:48.000 We were just talking about something I saw or was reminding me of something I saw on Planet Earth 2 this weekend.
00:47:53.000 It just came on Netflix.
00:47:54.000 That's so good.
00:47:54.000 There's this island that only birds can get onto.
00:47:58.000 And on this island is a tree that has these seeds.
00:48:02.000 That are sticky seeds, so they get stuck onto the birds, and when the birds travel from island to island, they kind of drop them off or whatever.
00:48:09.000 Yeah.
00:48:09.000 But also, the seeds can kind of trap the birds there, and they can end up...
00:48:14.000 No, I just had it right there.
00:48:15.000 They can die because they can't.
00:48:16.000 Too many of them get stuck.
00:48:18.000 The birds get stuck, and then they end up falling onto the ground and then get absorbed into the ground and eaten.
00:48:23.000 The plants sort of eat them, if you will.
00:48:26.000 Yo!
00:48:27.000 It's kind of crazy.
00:48:29.000 Whoa.
00:48:30.000 Okay, but here's the thing.
00:48:31.000 Is that coincidence?
00:48:33.000 Is this just like dumb luck?
00:48:34.000 Evolution, I suppose.
00:48:35.000 Yeah, I think that's, yeah.
00:48:38.000 Maybe evolution is like a word that's so under fire with a lot of people.
00:48:45.000 Maybe it's because of the ramifications of it.
00:48:51.000 That it's that we're not even we're not even gonna be the final thing it's gonna be something like where did darwin go that just how he found out about darwin's galapagos is where he went the first time imagine going there for the first time and seeing all sorts of crazy but you know that you know what's really up people have gone there and they go there with in their shoes and seeds from their shoes get into the galapagos island and non-native plants start growing And I identify that it comes from,
00:49:17.000 literally from people walking through fields near their house and wherever the fuck they live.
00:49:22.000 And then going to the Galapagos and walking around.
00:49:24.000 And that island has been so isolated that it's this delicate immune system that they have to monitor.
00:49:32.000 Just the crack in your shoe could have a seat in it.
00:49:35.000 Yeah, you know, there's a lot of those islands.
00:49:36.000 I heard the craziest story.
00:49:38.000 It's a story about goats that these pirates...
00:49:43.000 Was it pirates?
00:49:44.000 Hmm.
00:49:45.000 I might have made that part up.
00:49:47.000 But these old sailors...
00:49:48.000 These old sailors used to...
00:49:53.000 We used to bring goats to islands, and they would let the goats off so the goats could populate the island, and then they would have things to eat when they would come back, because goats eat everything.
00:50:03.000 Goats are savage.
00:50:05.000 Goats in the sailor's diet during the golden age of piracy.
00:50:08.000 Okay, I didn't make it up.
00:50:10.000 See, I'm so paranoid.
00:50:12.000 I'm so paranoid of being stupid.
00:50:13.000 But it's true.
00:50:15.000 So they would show up.
00:50:17.000 They would put these goats.
00:50:19.000 They would bring boatloads of goats and just leave them on an island.
00:50:22.000 And they would say, next time we're around this area, we got food.
00:50:25.000 Just go to these stupid fucking goats.
00:50:27.000 They eat everything.
00:50:28.000 They eat everything.
00:50:29.000 But that's the thing, man.
00:50:30.000 They eat fucking everything.
00:50:32.000 They devastate ecosystems.
00:50:33.000 I had a friend who had goats.
00:50:36.000 He had goats.
00:50:36.000 He has this really sweet ranch, and he had goats.
00:50:39.000 He's like, oh, just have goats.
00:50:40.000 They'll trim up the lawn, and it'll be great.
00:50:42.000 The fuck they do?
00:50:43.000 They eat everything.
00:50:45.000 Everything.
00:50:45.000 They just eat, man.
00:50:46.000 You just leave shit out.
00:50:48.000 They eat that, and they eat everything else, too.
00:50:50.000 They eat roses.
00:50:51.000 They eat all your vegetables.
00:50:53.000 There's not a tree that's growing.
00:50:55.000 They're eating everything.
00:50:56.000 Ah!
00:50:56.000 They just go through a hillside.
00:50:58.000 People use them.
00:50:59.000 They have, like, services where companies have trained goats, and they bring them to your farm or wherever the fuck you want, and they just let these goats loot, and it just, like, eats everything.
00:51:09.000 They shit all over the place, they eat all over the place, and they just keep going.
00:51:14.000 They're hilarious, though.
00:51:15.000 Yeah.
00:51:15.000 So they had a problem with these goats on one of these pristine islands.
00:51:22.000 There was too many of them.
00:51:23.000 So what they did is...
00:51:25.000 They took one of them and they put a collar on them so they could always locate him.
00:51:31.000 They captured him and I think they snipped him.
00:51:35.000 They gave him a little vasectomy so he couldn't make any more goats.
00:51:38.000 And then goats always flock to other goats.
00:51:41.000 So what they would do is this one guy with the collar, they would use him to locate the other goats.
00:51:46.000 Then they would gun them all down from the sky.
00:51:50.000 So they would fly over, and they're like, yep, there they are, we found them.
00:51:53.000 Gunned down all these fucking vegetable-eating goats that had invaded this island.
00:51:59.000 It's a crazy podcast.
00:52:01.000 I believe...
00:52:03.000 I'm trying to remember the name of it.
00:52:04.000 It was on Radiolab, which isn't even a sponsor, but I bring it up three times a month.
00:52:12.000 Oh, it's just called Galapagos.
00:52:13.000 Just called Galapagos?
00:52:14.000 Yeah, so it is about that very island.
00:52:16.000 It's about Galapagos, and it's about these goats that they just decided at a certain point in time that you have to control the populations of them or they're going to devastate everything else.
00:52:26.000 There's a massive imbalance.
00:52:28.000 Somebody fucked up.
00:52:29.000 They brought goats to a place where there's no predators.
00:52:31.000 Like, goats are supposed to be around like lions and shit.
00:52:34.000 You know, they're not supposed to be just by themselves, just eating everything and going off.
00:52:38.000 It'd be fun to watch them do it, though.
00:52:40.000 Yeah.
00:52:41.000 It would be fun.
00:52:42.000 Did you hear about that YouTuber, what he's going through, Logan Paul?
00:52:46.000 I did read that, yeah.
00:52:48.000 He filmed someone who had committed suicide in Japan, and he put it on his YouTube channel.
00:52:53.000 Yeah, I guess there's this forest at the bottom of a volcano, or something?
00:52:57.000 And it's called Suicide Forest, or it's nicknamed Suicide Forest, because everyone just goes there to commit suicide.
00:53:02.000 He was going there, supposedly, to film how it's haunted, and then they find a body.
00:53:08.000 It's pretty gross how the video was.
00:53:14.000 He kind of joked about it.
00:53:16.000 He used humor.
00:53:17.000 Jamie told me that the thumbnail had him posing with the guy in the background.
00:53:23.000 I don't know anything about him, but I know he's a YouTube guy.
00:53:29.000 And he's doing stuff that he thinks is interesting and provocative.
00:53:34.000 For whatever reason.
00:53:37.000 The dialogue that I'd read was something to the likes of that he had done it to bring...
00:53:43.000 He apologized for it, which obviously felt terrible about the way people viewed it.
00:53:48.000 But that he said that...
00:53:49.000 How did he describe it?
00:53:52.000 Um...
00:53:54.000 He was trying to bring some sort of...
00:53:56.000 He thought he was going to bring some sort of an awareness to suicide, but it was like a clunky...
00:54:00.000 He just didn't do it right and paid the respect that it deserved.
00:54:03.000 He realized that he fucked up.
00:54:05.000 He's basically saying he's trying to do something and he fucked up.
00:54:07.000 You know?
00:54:09.000 I don't know, man.
00:54:10.000 I just found out that he's not the same.
00:54:10.000 It's pretty gross.
00:54:12.000 Like, there's a Jake Paul and a Logan Paul.
00:54:15.000 I thought they were the same person.
00:54:16.000 Why is everyone mad?
00:54:18.000 I don't know what anyone's mad at him for.
00:54:20.000 They're mad at him because he showed you something you didn't want to see?
00:54:22.000 Is that what it is?
00:54:23.000 Because the video, they were like, look at his hands, they're blue.
00:54:27.000 And he kind of was very poor taste.
00:54:30.000 He also advertised it the day before.
00:54:32.000 Like, I have this crazy sick video you guys are going to...
00:54:35.000 Freak out about and shit like that.
00:54:36.000 Oh, so he got a chance to look at it.
00:54:38.000 He still approved it and then released it.
00:54:40.000 Yeah, and then he made a thumbnail where it looked like he posed for like photos with the guy in the background.
00:54:45.000 It's very, you know, this was a person and and they're like laughing right next to this body, you know, it's But I don't know that disturbs the shit out of us, right?
00:54:54.000 Like making like joking around you joke around But you can't joke around near a dead guy Well, suicide's not funny.
00:55:03.000 No, it's not.
00:55:04.000 If the guy died, like, natural causes...
00:55:06.000 But when no one's laughing at the suicide, they're laughing at him choking around near the guy who committed suicide.
00:55:11.000 Like, I'm not saying you should do it.
00:55:12.000 You definitely shouldn't.
00:55:13.000 I don't want to see it.
00:55:14.000 But it's kind of funny that we, like, decide.
00:55:17.000 Like, you see, it's respectful, bro.
00:55:21.000 But he didn't really do anything.
00:55:22.000 He just showed up and this guy was dead.
00:55:24.000 You know, I'm not saying he should make fun of him.
00:55:26.000 But it's weird, the outrage that we have for it.
00:55:26.000 He definitely shouldn't.
00:55:30.000 I'm sure he made a shitload of money because it got seven million views.
00:55:32.000 He made money off of suicide.
00:55:35.000 Yeah, and you're talking about it.
00:55:36.000 We're helping him out.
00:55:36.000 We're talking about it.
00:55:37.000 Well, the video got pulled, but I guess it got re-uploaded a few times.
00:55:40.000 Yeah.
00:55:40.000 He just made a second apology today because the first apology a lot of people said was very insincere.
00:55:46.000 Yeah, I'm not defending him.
00:55:47.000 Don't get me wrong.
00:55:48.000 I'm just exploring.
00:55:49.000 Look, sometimes I try to look at things from as many perspectives as I can.
00:55:54.000 You know, I don't...
00:55:55.000 I don't...
00:55:55.000 I don't...
00:55:58.000 I don't think that you ever want to make fun of someone dying.
00:56:01.000 Right.
00:56:02.000 When you're right there, and you're taking videos, and there's a dead body hanging, it's a terrible idea.
00:56:08.000 Now, if this was 20 years ago, it would be okay, probably.
00:56:11.000 It probably would, man.
00:56:12.000 You know what the most horrific video, or photograph, rather, I think, that I ever saw about the civil rights movement?
00:56:19.000 There's this photo of all these weird white people with, like, If I remember correctly, there's kids.
00:56:28.000 I might have made that up, but I remember these people standing there while there was this black guy hanging from a tree.
00:56:36.000 It might have been more than one black guy.
00:56:39.000 And it's one of those photos that just make you go, whoa.
00:56:46.000 Holy shit.
00:56:47.000 They're one of the most disturbing photos ever.
00:56:49.000 This is it, right there.
00:56:50.000 Like, look at that photo.
00:56:51.000 That is the exact photo.
00:56:53.000 Oh, actually, there's a white guy there, too.
00:56:54.000 There's a white guy.
00:56:55.000 That's weird.
00:56:55.000 Was he a pirate?
00:56:56.000 There must have been something went wrong.
00:56:57.000 It's not a real photo, actually.
00:56:58.000 It's not a real photo.
00:57:01.000 Okay, that's the real one.
00:57:02.000 That's the real one.
00:57:03.000 Son of a bitch.
00:57:04.000 That is the real one.
00:57:05.000 God, my memory's starting to suck.
00:57:05.000 Now I remember.
00:57:07.000 That guy pointing up.
00:57:09.000 That looks like Hitler.
00:57:11.000 But those look like white guys, too, bro.
00:57:13.000 Oh, okay, that's black.
00:57:14.000 The guy on the left?
00:57:16.000 That's just, like, light shining stuff.
00:57:20.000 There's something super disturbing about dudes with those old-school press hats on staring up at bodies hanging from ropes.
00:57:27.000 Fuck, man.
00:57:30.000 That wasn't that long ago, you know?
00:57:33.000 That's, uh...
00:57:36.000 That's what's horrifying.
00:57:38.000 That was less than a hundred years ago.
00:57:40.000 It still happens.
00:57:42.000 Probably, right?
00:57:42.000 What year was that?
00:57:43.000 I don't know.
00:57:46.000 But that way...
00:57:48.000 1930. 1930. Holy shit.
00:57:51.000 That that way was like accepted in 1930. All this new stuff, like this Magic Leap, these headsets, all these different things that we're doing...
00:58:06.000 I think they're gonna I think we're in the middle of this so it doesn't it's not registering It's how fucking ridiculous it is and how insane it is I think we're just so caught up in the frothy waves of how crazy all this new shit is That we're not we're not really paying attention enough This is this is happening way quicker than I thought it was going to I Think we're going to have flying cars by now though?
00:58:34.000 No!
00:58:35.000 It's going to be robots.
00:58:36.000 Those Boston Dynamic backflipping gymnastics robots are going to win the Olympics.
00:58:42.000 Other than proving they can do it, is there any benefit in a robot being able to do a backflip?
00:58:47.000 Dude, could you imagine?
00:58:49.000 No, there's no benefit.
00:58:50.000 Just to look cool.
00:58:51.000 I just wanted to check.
00:58:52.000 No, not at all.
00:58:54.000 Could you imagine if the first robot enters into the Olympics?
00:59:02.000 And then people are like, hey, what the fuck?
00:59:03.000 You can't do that.
00:59:04.000 We gave him all the strengths of a regular person.
00:59:08.000 No more, no less.
00:59:08.000 100%.
00:59:11.000 And he has feelings too.
00:59:12.000 So let him in there and don't be robot-phobic.
00:59:15.000 It goes back to my one question.
00:59:17.000 Which gender are the robots or the AI? Female, so the trainers can molest them.
00:59:20.000 Yeah.
00:59:21.000 No, you know what it is?
00:59:22.000 They're the first neutral gender people and they're so much happier.
00:59:26.000 There's neutral gender.
00:59:27.000 Nobody cares about gender.
00:59:29.000 That's all they care about.
00:59:29.000 Just be nice.
00:59:31.000 There's no boy-girl.
00:59:32.000 They figured out a way to get past that with that CRISPR shit.
00:59:36.000 That's what it is.
00:59:36.000 Have you seen that new sex robot?
00:59:38.000 You should get that for the studio.
00:59:40.000 Alright, Brian.
00:59:41.000 Have you seen it?
00:59:42.000 You can order it now.
00:59:43.000 But you don't want the first models, man.
00:59:46.000 It's funnier that way.
00:59:47.000 It's like one of them sharper image massage things that breaks your discs.
00:59:51.000 They don't break your discs.
00:59:52.000 I think it would be funny to have the first version now.
00:59:54.000 Early version, before they had massage chairs, they might have had massage chairs at the same time, but they had this thing that you would grab a hold of.
01:00:04.000 It had like handles on the side and it did like shiatsu.
01:00:06.000 Remember that thing?
01:00:07.000 It was like little metal knuckles that would dig into your neck.
01:00:12.000 I was like, this is amazing.
01:00:14.000 But what I was doing, I was like, how is this leak?
01:00:17.000 Someone's going to get hurt.
01:00:19.000 He gets like some little old lady and you force that fucking thing on their neck like, yo, be careful with this thing.
01:00:26.000 This thing's got some kick to it.
01:00:30.000 The best thing I ever found for that kind of shit is a Thai massage.
01:00:35.000 You ever go get a Thai massage to stand on you and stretch you out?
01:00:38.000 That's the shit.
01:00:40.000 That's better than any machine.
01:00:42.000 There's something about a person just doing it, like getting in there with their elbow.
01:00:46.000 It's so much better than any machine.
01:00:48.000 Yeah, I have this girl I go to, and she has like the handles where she holds on to, and she's just digging her knee in your back.
01:00:55.000 And I always say medium, and it hurts like hell.
01:00:57.000 I can't even imagine the hard one.
01:01:01.000 Ties have so many things nailed.
01:01:04.000 They figured out the best form of kickboxing.
01:01:08.000 You know, Thai boxing changed everything.
01:01:10.000 It's weird.
01:01:11.000 This one small place figured out the way to do it was to kick people's legs.
01:01:16.000 And you know how they figured it out, man?
01:01:18.000 Gambling.
01:01:21.000 Gambling made it profitable to have fights all the time because people loved to gamble.
01:01:25.000 So they'd have all these people fighting.
01:01:27.000 In Thais, they even altered their style to accommodate the gambling.
01:01:32.000 Like the first round they would go real slow because they wanted everybody to place their bets.
01:01:38.000 So Pete, they would just take it slow and everybody knew the fight didn't really begin to the second or the third round.
01:01:43.000 So it wasn't like American fighting where you would have like a Mike Tyson who'd be cherished for knocking people out very quickly.
01:01:50.000 Like there would be over under bets.
01:01:52.000 Is this guy, is Tony Tubbs gonna last the first three minutes of the fight?
01:01:58.000 You know, is Michael Spinks gonna last the first three?
01:02:00.000 Like world-class fighters.
01:02:04.000 Dude.
01:02:06.000 Imagine getting hit by Mike Tyson when he was 20 years old.
01:02:10.000 Imagine how horrible that would be.
01:02:12.000 He was at the fights this past weekend.
01:02:14.000 I said hi to him.
01:02:16.000 Hi Mike.
01:02:17.000 That's so weird.
01:02:19.000 It's amazing!
01:02:21.000 He's still a tank too, dude.
01:02:23.000 Terrifying looking person.
01:02:26.000 There's a video of him hitting the bag.
01:02:27.000 He's like 51 years old or something like that.
01:02:29.000 Hitting the heavy bag, and you're like, oh, okay, he could still fuck you up.
01:02:33.000 100%.
01:02:33.000 Like, in terms of, like, retired heavyweight champions, there was a trend that existed, you know, where someone would retire, and then they would, you know, they wouldn't keep their form.
01:02:47.000 They would get heavy.
01:02:48.000 And that happened with Mike.
01:02:49.000 He got, like, very heavy.
01:02:50.000 Look at this.
01:02:51.000 49-year-old type.
01:02:52.000 So this is, like, two years ago.
01:02:52.000 49!
01:02:53.000 Yeah.
01:02:54.000 Dude, fuck all this.
01:02:56.000 Give me some volume.
01:03:00.000 Dude, fuck that.
01:03:03.000 Dude, 49-year-old Mike Tyson will put you to sleep.
01:03:08.000 And when you're around him, you realize, you're like, he's just...
01:03:08.000 100%.
01:03:13.000 Who is that?
01:03:15.000 Oh, that's sad.
01:03:17.000 Oh, Meek.
01:03:19.000 Yeah.
01:03:21.000 See, I blame his trainers right there.
01:03:24.000 If I was the guy holding the camera, I'd be like, stop it.
01:03:27.000 Okay, first of all, we gotta straighten this whole thing out before you start hitting hard.
01:03:32.000 You got to move.
01:03:34.000 Look at all this.
01:03:35.000 This might be just a personal trainer, not a boxing person, but I'm looking in the background and I feel like I see boxing and stuff on the wall.
01:03:44.000 Play that.
01:03:45.000 Play that video.
01:03:46.000 Young Mike Tyson with Custom Auto.
01:03:48.000 Oh my God.
01:03:50.000 You want to change the way you feel about physics?
01:03:54.000 Custom Auto was old and dying.
01:03:56.000 He was a really old guy, but he had just this deep knowledge of psychology and boxing.
01:04:01.000 And he trained this unbelievably fast and powerful talented kid who had massive hunger for success.
01:04:08.000 The whole story of Mike Tyson, a lot, is wrapped up in the story of Customato, who had been around forever.
01:04:15.000 And this is his last and greatest pupil.
01:04:18.000 And Mike knew it.
01:04:19.000 Mike knew it while it was happening.
01:04:20.000 And by the time he won the Heavyweight Championship, Customato had already died.
01:04:24.000 But he dedicated it all to him.
01:04:26.000 There was nobody like him.
01:04:28.000 You know, people like, they say, oh, you know, but he never fought Ali, and he never fought these guys.
01:04:33.000 You know, his era, people weren't as good.
01:04:37.000 Maybe, maybe, but everybody in his era, he fucked up.
01:04:41.000 All of them up until Spinks.
01:04:43.000 Excuse me, until Hendrix.
01:04:46.000 No.
01:04:47.000 Well, Buster, yeah.
01:04:48.000 Buster was the first one to beat him, but I meant Holyfield.
01:04:51.000 Yeah.
01:04:52.000 That's how fucked up I am.
01:04:53.000 I said Hendrix.
01:04:55.000 I was trying to remember what the fight was.
01:04:57.000 When Holyfield beat Tyson those two fights in a row, that was big.
01:05:04.000 And when Tyson bit his ear, that was big.
01:05:08.000 That was like when you realize he's not the same guy he was.
01:05:12.000 We both lived in Columbus when Buster Douglas knocked him out.
01:05:15.000 That was a crazy...
01:05:15.000 Like, he became the big, big fucking hero.
01:05:18.000 No one knew who he was, really, I feel like.
01:05:19.000 Oh, yeah.
01:05:19.000 When I was young, but...
01:05:20.000 And then he was supposed to take over the east side of the city.
01:05:23.000 He was gonna, like, change everything, have a big, giant boxing gym, and...
01:05:26.000 Never happened.
01:05:28.000 You know the story of Buster Douglas?
01:05:29.000 It's an amazing story.
01:05:30.000 His mom died.
01:05:32.000 His mom died when he was in training for the fight.
01:05:34.000 Oh really?
01:05:35.000 And all of his life he had kind of been really talented as a boxer but hadn't really completely dedicated himself to it.
01:05:43.000 So when his mom died, he went completely insane in the gym in preparation for Tyson.
01:05:51.000 And then when he came out there, it was like two people that had the exact opposite things happen to them.
01:05:58.000 For Tyson, he had just been smashing everybody for so long.
01:06:02.000 He was so good and so scary.
01:06:04.000 He would win fights before he would even start.
01:06:06.000 It would just be a matter of whether or not you were going to make it out of the first round sometimes.
01:06:10.000 He was just smashing people.
01:06:12.000 But for Buster Douglas, he had some good fights and some bad fights.
01:06:17.000 He wasn't completely consistent, but he was talented.
01:06:21.000 But then when his mom died, it was right in the time when Tyson was just overconfident.
01:06:28.000 He was a 46 to 1 underdog, I think.
01:06:31.000 Is that what it was?
01:06:32.000 I think so.
01:06:33.000 It was marketed as Tyson is back fight.
01:06:36.000 Oh wow, I didn't know that.
01:06:38.000 Tyson is back.
01:06:40.000 I don't remember that.
01:06:41.000 What were the odds?
01:06:43.000 Because I think it was one of the craziest odds of someone who won a fight.
01:06:50.000 42 to 1 is a lot.
01:06:53.000 That means you have to be a total sucker to bet on Buster Douglas.
01:06:57.000 But I'll take your money, stupid.
01:06:59.000 Yeah, yeah, I'll give you $4,200 if you give me $100.
01:07:02.000 You know, it's like they're so confident that Tyson's going to beat him.
01:07:05.000 They're willing to bet 42 times whatever you're going to put up.
01:07:09.000 That, to me, is always...
01:07:10.000 I think bets...
01:07:12.000 I'm not telling you what to do.
01:07:14.000 But I think bets should be like...
01:07:16.000 I think, actually, I take it back.
01:07:18.000 I think you should be able to do whatever you want.
01:07:19.000 But I think the real bet should be, who do you think is going to win?
01:07:23.000 Let's make it real clear.
01:07:26.000 Who's going to win?
01:07:27.000 If you say, well, will Michael Spinks make it out of the first round?
01:07:31.000 Like, alright, now we're getting weird.
01:07:33.000 Because this is some shit you might be able to affect.
01:07:35.000 Maybe you might be able to talk to Michael Spinks.
01:07:38.000 There's a lot of money in this fight.
01:07:40.000 But there's even more if we can get to the second round.
01:07:42.000 You know what I'm saying, bro?
01:07:43.000 You know what I'm saying?
01:07:44.000 I think the last bet I hit like that was Amanda Nunes.
01:07:46.000 Yeah.
01:07:47.000 KO in the second round.
01:07:48.000 I specifically picked that.
01:07:49.000 That's very important to protect against that kind of influence.
01:07:52.000 Because that shit's real.
01:07:54.000 That shit's happened throughout sports.
01:07:56.000 If someone comes up to you and goes, look, there's a lot of money if this fight goes into the third round.
01:08:00.000 That's all we got to do.
01:08:01.000 Look, here's the odds.
01:08:02.000 72 to 1. 72 to 1, this fight goes to the third round.
01:08:06.000 You know what that means?
01:08:06.000 You let the fight go to the third round.
01:08:08.000 We'll make a lot more money.
01:08:10.000 I heard a lot of people were a little worried about the over-under for the Holly Holm cyborg fight being only one and a half, I think, was the over-under.
01:08:19.000 Everybody thought it probably was going to go away longer.
01:08:19.000 Really?
01:08:21.000 Yeah.
01:08:23.000 That's probably a gambling thing, right?
01:08:25.000 I think it has to do with where the money sits.
01:08:28.000 Is that what it is?
01:08:29.000 I wish we knew.
01:08:30.000 We should probably find out.
01:08:31.000 We should probably find out exactly.
01:08:33.000 We used to talk to gambling experts sometimes on the old days of the UFC on Spike.
01:08:39.000 A guy would come on and he would give us the odds.
01:08:43.000 He's like a local odds maker type guy and he and I would even disagree about shit sometimes.
01:08:50.000 God damn it, I can't remember his name.
01:08:53.000 See if you can remember that gentleman's name.
01:08:55.000 What was that Ugg boot you had on your head?
01:08:55.000 I feel terrible.
01:08:57.000 Oh, how dare you?
01:08:59.000 How dare you?
01:09:01.000 I don't want to mispronounce it.
01:09:03.000 Is it like a religious thing?
01:09:06.000 No, it's from his area of Dagestan.
01:09:13.000 I have it saved here, I think, because people have been asking me.
01:09:17.000 In his area of Dagestan, they wear this thing.
01:09:21.000 It says, it's what a warrior, a mountain clan, they're a warrior, mountain clan, and that this is what their shepherds wear.
01:09:29.000 And this is what you call it.
01:09:33.000 I don't want to fuck this up.
01:09:34.000 But it looks like it says...
01:09:37.000 I'm probably fucking that up.
01:09:42.000 But this is how it's pronounced.
01:09:45.000 I know how to spell it.
01:09:47.000 You look like that one guy that got arrested for murdering his wife.
01:09:50.000 What's that old guy?
01:09:51.000 What dare you?
01:09:52.000 Phil Spector.
01:09:52.000 That old guy.
01:09:53.000 Phil Spector.
01:09:54.000 Oh, no, that wasn't his wife.
01:09:55.000 Oh, that's hilarious.
01:09:56.000 That is very funny, actually, dude.
01:09:59.000 That's strong.
01:10:00.000 That's strong.
01:10:01.000 Remember that guy who'd show up for court with these crazy wigs on?
01:10:06.000 Was it a wig or was it actually his hair?
01:10:08.000 No, it would wig.
01:10:10.000 This is...
01:10:13.000 This is how you spell it.
01:10:14.000 It's P-A-P-A-K-H-A. Papuka.
01:10:20.000 Papuka.
01:10:21.000 Oh my god, look at that hair.
01:10:23.000 Yeah, that's the same.
01:10:24.000 I don't even know if you don't pronounce a K. He actually took it to the next level.
01:10:30.000 Phil Spector.
01:10:30.000 We're looking at Phil Spector from his murder trial.
01:10:32.000 It was a horrible story.
01:10:34.000 Phil Spector stuck a gun in some chick's mouth.
01:10:36.000 Wow.
01:10:38.000 And killed her and apparently that was something that he had been known to do.
01:10:42.000 He would pull a gun, stick it in like an artist's mouth, you know?
01:10:47.000 Do you know that there's a lot of people that think that Jimi Hendrix manager killed him?
01:10:51.000 Yeah.
01:10:52.000 Yeah, and apparently there's, like, a guy who wrote a book, a guy who was a bodyguard or something or another for someone in the music business back then, claimed that that was, he wrote a book about this and claims that's what happened, that Jimi Hendrix's girlfriend at the time jumped off a building,
01:11:10.000 she committed suicide, and they're like, no, they threw that girl off a building.
01:11:13.000 Yeah.
01:11:14.000 It's like, whoa, what?
01:11:16.000 Wasn't there a documentary or a movie about it?
01:11:18.000 I think there might have been.
01:11:18.000 Was there?
01:11:20.000 I don't know.
01:11:21.000 You know, you hear about a guy like Hendrix who died at 27, and you go, what?
01:11:27.000 How is that?
01:11:29.000 How is he that good?
01:11:30.000 How the hell is he that good at 27?
01:11:33.000 Fuck, man.
01:11:35.000 Imagine if you're still alive.
01:11:38.000 It would be threatening.
01:11:40.000 I saw Guns N' Roses like a month ago and Earl got us like right in the front row.
01:11:46.000 They played a three and a half hour show.
01:11:50.000 It was weird seeing him.
01:11:52.000 Did they really?
01:11:52.000 Yeah.
01:11:53.000 It was weird seeing him perform.
01:11:54.000 I tell you that Slash still has it.
01:11:56.000 That motherfucker jams.
01:11:58.000 Three and a half hours is insane.
01:12:00.000 What's a normal concert for like Aerosmith or some shit?
01:12:00.000 Yeah.
01:12:03.000 Maybe two hours.
01:12:04.000 Yeah.
01:12:05.000 Maybe.
01:12:05.000 Maybe.
01:12:06.000 That's a lot.
01:12:07.000 That's a long time.
01:12:08.000 Three and a half hours?
01:12:09.000 Yeah, if not four hours.
01:12:11.000 Six hours!
01:12:12.000 Can I get seven?
01:12:12.000 Can I get seven?
01:12:14.000 Well, he, um, he, like, went to the Darklands and then came back.
01:12:18.000 Like, Axl Rose is a weird guy.
01:12:20.000 Like, he vanished and then returned.
01:12:24.000 And now they're killing it.
01:12:25.000 It's weird.
01:12:27.000 Remember when he broke his leg and was singing on stage with a cast on, on a chair?
01:12:32.000 Yeah.
01:12:33.000 It was weird watching him because when you're that close, it's weird seeing things that you normally wouldn't even notice.
01:12:39.000 One thing was, after every song, he would just go behind this curtain and come out with a different shirt on.
01:12:43.000 And he must have changed t-shirts maybe like 20 times in outfits.
01:12:48.000 Like he would have a scarf on this one.
01:12:51.000 Wow.
01:12:51.000 Yeah, that's him with a leg brace on.
01:12:58.000 Singing with a leather jacket on and a stool.
01:13:03.000 Pretty badass.
01:13:04.000 Who the fuck's ever done that before?
01:13:06.000 I know Dave Grohl did it while he was performing.
01:13:09.000 Axl loaned him his...
01:13:10.000 Did he really?
01:13:11.000 That's hilarious!
01:13:12.000 He loaned him his brace?
01:13:14.000 That's...
01:13:15.000 The throne thing.
01:13:16.000 Oh, the throne thing that he takes around with him.
01:13:18.000 How long did Axl have to sing on that thing for?
01:13:21.000 A couple months, I think.
01:13:22.000 Wow, that's crazy.
01:13:24.000 Dave Grohl's a badass.
01:13:25.000 Do your squats, people.
01:13:28.000 How amazing is it?
01:13:29.000 It was Dave's, and then he loaned it to Axl.
01:13:31.000 Other way around.
01:13:31.000 I'm sorry.
01:13:32.000 Well, that's both badass.
01:13:34.000 Equally badass.
01:13:35.000 Either way you do it.
01:13:37.000 Either way you pop it back and forth.
01:13:39.000 What were you saying Brian?
01:13:40.000 How badass is Dave Grohl though?
01:13:42.000 Like he was the drummer for Nirvana and then totally created the Foo Fighters right after Nirvana and it's one of the best bands ever, you know?
01:13:51.000 And he's now not even playing drums anymore.
01:13:54.000 Was he playing drums for Nirvana?
01:13:57.000 Nirvana, yeah he was the drummer for Nirvana.
01:13:58.000 And now he's saying, well you know I could do anything.
01:14:01.000 Drummer of the year and guitarist of the year.
01:14:03.000 Separate years, separate bands.
01:14:06.000 He's a bad motherfucker, for sure.
01:14:09.000 I love the Foo Fighters.
01:14:10.000 No, never met him.
01:14:10.000 Have you met him?
01:14:12.000 I guess I don't think so.
01:14:15.000 I met one of the other guys in Nirvana.
01:14:17.000 Who's the other gentleman?
01:14:18.000 Pat Smear, or you got that?
01:14:20.000 The guy who flies planes.
01:14:21.000 I met him at one of them marijuana policy projects.
01:14:25.000 I think that's that gentleman.
01:14:26.000 The guy threw the guitar up and it fell and hit him in the head during the MTV movie.
01:14:30.000 Oh, that's a mistake.
01:14:31.000 Oh, fuck, man.
01:14:33.000 That's terrible.
01:14:36.000 Remember in the old days when people would smash guitars on stage?
01:14:41.000 That was like a big deal.
01:14:42.000 Trent Reznor used to do it.
01:14:44.000 I mean, what the fuck is that about, man?
01:14:47.000 What was that about?
01:14:48.000 What was this whole destroying musical instruments thing about?
01:14:52.000 Rock and roll, man!
01:14:53.000 We gotta break it all down!
01:14:55.000 I'm gonna smash this fucking guitar!
01:14:56.000 Do it, dude!
01:14:57.000 Do it, dude!
01:14:58.000 Smash!
01:14:59.000 Smash!
01:15:00.000 Smash!
01:15:01.000 Fuck!
01:15:03.000 You didn't have any money, and you just imagined if you could get Jimi Hendrix's guitar.
01:15:07.000 Did he smash guitars?
01:15:08.000 No.
01:15:09.000 Who do you think I got right here at the first person to do it, or at least credited with?
01:15:13.000 Let me think.
01:15:15.000 1960s.
01:15:15.000 It's the only hint.
01:15:16.000 Jimi Hendrix burned his guitar.
01:15:18.000 Yeah, he burned it.
01:15:20.000 I'd say the first person would be like...
01:15:21.000 No, I feel like he smashed it, too.
01:15:23.000 Yeah.
01:15:23.000 I would say he smashed guitars.
01:15:25.000 Didn't he smash it, Jamie?
01:15:26.000 I don't know that he didn't.
01:15:27.000 I'll look up Hendrix just for sure, but I got the guy that, the first guy.
01:15:30.000 Who's the first guy?
01:15:32.000 Oh, of course.
01:15:32.000 Pete Townsend.
01:15:33.000 That's right.
01:15:34.000 That's right.
01:15:35.000 Pete Townsend did it.
01:15:37.000 You know what?
01:15:37.000 I might be fucking this up.
01:15:39.000 Jimi Hendrix might not have smashed a guitar.
01:15:41.000 It might have just been Townsend.
01:15:43.000 Didn't someone in KISS, did Ace Frehley ever smash guitars?
01:15:47.000 Here's Monterey Pop Festival.
01:15:49.000 Jimmy lit it on fire and smashed it.
01:15:51.000 Oh man, he was high as fuck.
01:15:53.000 Just hitting everything.
01:15:56.000 Some weak ass slams.
01:15:58.000 You've got to work on your...
01:16:00.000 Oh!
01:16:01.000 Oh, look at that.
01:16:02.000 He broke it.
01:16:03.000 Yeah.
01:16:03.000 He can't move in those fucking pants.
01:16:05.000 Those pants, man, they used to constrict your dick.
01:16:08.000 That's why none of these guys had kids.
01:16:10.000 Lenny Kravitz.
01:16:11.000 His pants ripped open.
01:16:12.000 Yeah, that's right.
01:16:13.000 Oh, that's hilarious.
01:16:14.000 This schlong.
01:16:15.000 Oh, I forgot about that.
01:16:16.000 Schlong of death.
01:16:17.000 Came flying.
01:16:18.000 Jimi Hendrix was, uh...
01:16:20.000 Those are jeans.
01:16:20.000 He was wearing those...
01:16:22.000 Like, jeans that tight, man.
01:16:23.000 You can't do shit in those things.
01:16:26.000 He definitely can't smash guitars correctly.
01:16:30.000 So he smashed guitars a bunch of times.
01:16:33.000 Yeah.
01:16:34.000 Yeah, this has to go with the feeling of the music you're getting, man.
01:16:36.000 You just get into it.
01:16:37.000 Plus you're on acid, right?
01:16:37.000 Yeah.
01:16:39.000 Yeah, also.
01:16:40.000 He's on acid a lot during this time, wasn't he?
01:16:43.000 Wow.
01:16:44.000 Look at this.
01:16:45.000 They just let him smash these things.
01:16:47.000 Here's a guitar sacrifice.
01:16:49.000 So a guy like Matt the Immortal Brown seeing Jimi Hendrix swing that guitar just needs a little coaching.
01:16:55.000 That's like a big exercise they use with maces and shit.
01:16:59.000 You know, that's like hitting tires with sledgehammers.
01:17:02.000 That's an excellent form of exercise.
01:17:04.000 Now try to find Nickelback smashing a guitar.
01:17:06.000 Not gonna happen.
01:17:07.000 Hey, come on, bro.
01:17:07.000 Come on, baby.
01:17:08.000 You gotta be easy on Nickelback.
01:17:10.000 I don't think they're bad.
01:17:16.000 But I accept that you don't like it.
01:17:19.000 I just feel like as I move into 2018, I want to spend more time on things I like than things I don't like.
01:17:27.000 And more time, if there are things that I don't like, I want to be able to look at them in a more relaxed manner.
01:17:33.000 And be less engaged with it and more...
01:17:38.000 As long as you're not hurting anybody, just have fun.
01:17:41.000 Who gives a shit?
01:17:43.000 Did you read about Will Ferrell?
01:17:44.000 He did a rose parade.
01:17:47.000 He dressed up in a character with this other girl that used to be on Saturday Night Live.
01:17:51.000 No.
01:17:52.000 And they acted like local news people showing the parade.
01:17:57.000 Oh my god.
01:17:57.000 And they broadcasted it live on Amazon Prime and people thought it was real.
01:18:02.000 A lot of people didn't even realize it was Will Ferrell.
01:18:04.000 And so people were angry about it because they didn't get the joke.
01:18:09.000 Oh my god, it's hilarious.
01:18:10.000 He shaved his head.
01:18:11.000 He's got prosthetic on or something?
01:18:13.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:18:14.000 Oh my god, that is amazing.
01:18:16.000 As fictional local TV host, the duo made jokes about the parade's marching bands, flower-covered floats, and inaccurate historical uniforms.
01:18:24.000 Oh my god, that's so funny.
01:18:26.000 Yeah, I guess you can get it on Amazon Prime right now.
01:18:28.000 And I guess there's so many one stars and all the reviews are like, how dare they?
01:18:33.000 This is a tradition.
01:18:34.000 Oh my god, that's hilarious.
01:18:36.000 Who are these local news people?
01:18:38.000 That is so funny.
01:18:39.000 That's so funny.
01:18:40.000 Will Ferrell's fucking...
01:18:41.000 Anybody who says Will Ferrell's not funny, I can't talk to.
01:18:44.000 There's over a thousand one stars on it.
01:18:46.000 Yeah, I just can't talk to anybody who doesn't think that guy's hilarious.
01:18:50.000 Yeah.
01:18:51.000 See, I just contradicted what I said earlier.
01:18:53.000 You can like whatever you want.
01:18:54.000 I don't care.
01:18:55.000 Meanwhile, I'm like, except Will Ferrell.
01:18:57.000 You fuck.
01:18:58.000 For me, tile digging nights, man, when he's running around in his underwear, he's saying, Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft.
01:19:04.000 I'm on fire.
01:19:05.000 I'm crying.
01:19:06.000 You know that's based off a real thing?
01:19:09.000 Of him running out thinking he's on fire?
01:19:11.000 Because there was a famous car, like, what's that, petroleum?
01:19:16.000 Where it's like, you can't see petroleum when it's on fire, a petroleum fire.
01:19:21.000 It's clear, or it's invisible.
01:19:22.000 Okay.
01:19:23.000 And so this famous race car driver.
01:19:25.000 Like gasoline.
01:19:26.000 Yeah.
01:19:27.000 There was a fire in his car, but you couldn't see it.
01:19:30.000 So he's like, I'm on fire!
01:19:31.000 But to everyone else, it looked like he was just a crazy person.
01:19:34.000 I think this might be it.
01:19:35.000 I see, like, all these people are on fire right now, and you can't even tell.
01:19:40.000 There's a fire.
01:19:42.000 Oh, wow.
01:19:43.000 Because petroleum fire, you can't see.
01:19:46.000 Whoa.
01:19:47.000 What?
01:19:47.000 Yeah, I looked this up the other day, too.
01:19:49.000 Yeah.
01:19:50.000 Oh, my God.
01:19:50.000 So I didn't know that whole scene was pasted.
01:19:53.000 How do I not know this?
01:19:53.000 I don't know.
01:19:57.000 Yeah.
01:19:57.000 You can't see petroleum fire?
01:20:00.000 You can only see it at night.
01:20:01.000 Oh my god, that is insane, man.
01:20:04.000 So all these people are on fire, and they're running from invisible fire.
01:20:07.000 Oh my god, how am I just now learning this?
01:20:10.000 You can't see petroleum fire?
01:20:13.000 Yeah.
01:20:14.000 Is that real?
01:20:15.000 Yeah.
01:20:16.000 Only at night.
01:20:17.000 It has to be really dark, because it's like the light blue part of it.
01:20:21.000 Oh my god.
01:20:21.000 It doesn't get any orange or anything.
01:20:22.000 That is so fucked.
01:20:24.000 But how hilarious that that was based on a real thing.
01:20:28.000 And so he has flame retardant clothes on, so that stuff doesn't catch fire.
01:20:32.000 Right.
01:20:33.000 So it's just his skin that's getting it.
01:20:35.000 Oh my god.
01:20:36.000 Oh my god.
01:20:37.000 How horrific.
01:20:37.000 And it got into the crowd too.
01:20:39.000 People were like, why is everyone freaking out?
01:20:41.000 Oh my god.
01:20:44.000 Here's another Radiolab plug.
01:20:46.000 I was listening to this thing about ball lightning.
01:20:48.000 See here, right now, he'll catch it on fire and see how much fire it is.
01:20:55.000 Oh my god, it's just blue.
01:20:58.000 So if that's your nose?
01:20:59.000 See, like right there.
01:21:01.000 That's on fire, right there.
01:21:02.000 That's insane.
01:21:04.000 That's insane, dude.
01:21:05.000 Oh my god, he just dropped something in it and it instantly caught fire.
01:21:10.000 That's why petroleum fires are dangerous for firemen and stuff like that because you can't see.
01:21:16.000 How do I not know that?
01:21:18.000 I can't believe I woke up today on January 2nd 2018 I learned that for the first time.
01:21:27.000 I should have known that.
01:21:28.000 Not woke.
01:21:30.000 Not woke!
01:21:32.000 That's hashtag not woke.
01:21:34.000 But you're hashtag blessed.
01:21:35.000 Hashtag blessed.
01:21:36.000 But not hashtag woke today.
01:21:38.000 I didn't know about petroleum fires.
01:21:41.000 It's crazy that you could just buy a lighter, you know?
01:21:44.000 You want to talk about, like, what's the possibility of people being fucked up?
01:21:47.000 Way less than you think.
01:21:49.000 Because, like, lighters are everywhere.
01:21:51.000 And there's relatively few fires in comparison to the number of lighters.
01:21:56.000 You know?
01:21:56.000 Like, everybody's got a fucking lighter.
01:21:57.000 Everybody we know has a lighter.
01:21:59.000 When was the last time someone we know lit some shit on fire?
01:22:03.000 Right?
01:22:06.000 It is weird.
01:22:06.000 It's weird.
01:22:07.000 It's weird like the real weirdness about driving cars is how few accidents there are.
01:22:12.000 That's the real weirdness.
01:22:14.000 Of course there's gonna be some and more so with these fucking assholes on their phones.
01:22:20.000 Goddamn!
01:22:20.000 I've been seeing some drifters.
01:22:22.000 Some people drifting lanes and texting while they're driving.
01:22:26.000 Holy shit, that's common.
01:22:29.000 But take that away and it's remarkable how rarely we slam into each other.
01:22:34.000 It's remarkable.
01:22:35.000 You can go years without a car accident if you're careful.
01:22:37.000 Years and years and years.
01:22:39.000 Fuck, man.
01:22:42.000 Especially in this city.
01:22:43.000 Yeah.
01:22:45.000 It's remarkable.
01:22:46.000 But, you know, they happen.
01:22:48.000 They definitely happen.
01:22:50.000 There's no way right now they can tell exactly what you are doing.
01:22:54.000 They just know what happened.
01:22:57.000 But if there's a way that they can put one of those...
01:23:02.000 You know how they have...
01:23:02.000 Don't they have OnStar now in a lot of cars?
01:23:04.000 You buy them from the factory.
01:23:06.000 They have that OnStar thing where you could actually have calls, make phone calls with whatever it is on the other line.
01:23:15.000 You could say, hey, can you book me a reservation at a restaurant?
01:23:19.000 They're also monitoring, like, how fast your car is going.
01:23:22.000 They're monitoring, like, certain metrics, you know, certain things they can figure out, like, what happened when you were causing an accident.
01:23:30.000 Where'd you go?
01:23:31.000 Where'd you drive to?
01:23:33.000 Like, if they could track you on GPS. And at a certain point in time, they're going to be like, why can't we just film them?
01:23:40.000 We're just gonna film you all the time inside your car and like if you want to drive a Cadillac don't have any fucking orgies in it because Because we have to film you because otherwise we're never gonna know what the fuck you did to cause this car accident We don't want to get sued Oldsmobile is that Oldsmobile has the camera So like if you're doing the lane departure setting,
01:23:58.000 it detects if you're not paying attention So then by tracking your face.
01:24:04.000 So there's a camera in I think it's Oldsmobile's now.
01:24:07.000 Wow Well, that's sort of like the iPhone X or X, right?
01:24:11.000 It sees your face.
01:24:12.000 It recognizes your face to open up your password.
01:24:15.000 And it works pretty fucking good.
01:24:16.000 It's not perfect, but it's like, ooh, it's a lot better than I thought it was going to be.
01:24:20.000 A lot smoother.
01:24:21.000 I got this phone when I couldn't find my glasses, and I found them the other day, and I have a beard now, and I had a stocking hat on.
01:24:28.000 It still unlocks it.
01:24:29.000 It's like, how the hell does it go through all those things?
01:24:31.000 What would change if someone gained or lost weight?
01:24:35.000 Would anything change?
01:24:36.000 I don't think so.
01:24:37.000 I think it detects how far your eyes are apart and things like that.
01:24:43.000 What's weird is I have an Amazon Echo next to my bed now because it's like the best alarm clock ever.
01:24:49.000 It's one of those things where you go, like, Alexa, you know?
01:24:53.000 But it has a camera on it.
01:24:55.000 Yeah, it's watching you for sure.
01:24:57.000 Alexa's watching your whole life.
01:24:59.000 I'm like, keep an eye on me, Alexa.
01:25:01.000 Yeah, every time you beat off Alexa makes a check mark right next to you.
01:25:05.000 It is weird, though.
01:25:06.000 Like, we'll be just sleeping in the middle of the night, and Alexa will just be like, I can't understand what you're talking about.
01:25:11.000 And you're like, what?
01:25:12.000 I didn't say anything.
01:25:13.000 Alexa will just start coming to life.
01:25:17.000 She's starting to wake up.
01:25:18.000 She's becoming more woke than me.
01:25:21.000 The best is if you go, Alexa, rap.
01:25:24.000 And it does this rap.
01:25:25.000 It's a great rap.
01:25:27.000 And it's a good rap.
01:25:29.000 Yeah, we were talking before the podcast that there was a...
01:25:31.000 It's a good rap.
01:25:33.000 We were talking before the podcast, there was something about Apple buying Netflix.
01:25:38.000 Jesus.
01:25:39.000 How do you feel about a company that gets that big?
01:25:42.000 How do you feel about any company that just buys up everything?
01:25:46.000 Disney?
01:25:46.000 Disney?
01:25:47.000 Disney bought up Star Wars.
01:25:49.000 What else did they buy up?
01:25:50.000 Didn't they just buy the other movie studio that owns the Avengers or whatever?
01:25:56.000 Pixar?
01:25:56.000 Paramount?
01:25:57.000 I don't know.
01:25:58.000 They had a lot of money.
01:26:00.000 $52 billion to buy 21st Century Fox.
01:26:04.000 So now the Marvel Universe is complete, I think, now?
01:26:08.000 Is it bad?
01:26:09.000 Is it bad to have giant companies?
01:26:11.000 Some people would say yes, right?
01:26:13.000 But what about a giant company like Google seems to be a pretty goddamn good company.
01:26:17.000 Like as far as like the way they treat people.
01:26:21.000 It's supposed to be like pretty good.
01:26:23.000 Other than that James Damore memo thing, the thing that went out.
01:26:26.000 Remember that?
01:26:28.000 That whole where the guy was talking about why there aren't women in tech and what would encourage him.
01:26:33.000 A lot of people said he was sexist and it got crazy.
01:26:35.000 I was like, then I had to read it like a couple of times ago.
01:26:38.000 It's like one or two things that might be misconstrued as being sexist because of the term neuroticism.
01:26:43.000 And I think he believes, I believe he uses the term neurotic, but really super duper controversial fucking thing.
01:26:49.000 And although I don't agree with it, Google firing the guy, I kind of get it.
01:26:55.000 I get where they are just to kind of calm everyone's nerves.
01:26:57.000 I don't agree with that at all.
01:26:59.000 But I understand why they as a corporation would think that way.
01:27:02.000 But for the most part, I like what they're doing.
01:27:06.000 They're buying up all these robotics and These different corporations that are creating...
01:27:13.000 Didn't Google buy up Boston Dynamics?
01:27:15.000 I think they already sold it, though.
01:27:16.000 Yeah, they sold it.
01:27:17.000 They bought it and then sold it?
01:27:18.000 They stole all the secrets.
01:27:19.000 Interesting.
01:27:20.000 I wonder if that's what they did.
01:27:21.000 You don't hear about the sale when they get rid of something like that.
01:27:23.000 You don't hear about the purchase or acquisition.
01:27:25.000 Yeah, you sell it, and then you make sure that you don't sign some sort of a non-compete clause.
01:27:30.000 They could have also done it to buy a purse.
01:27:32.000 There might have been someone working there they wanted to have on their team, and so they just, uh, we'll buy your whole company.
01:27:36.000 Now you work for us.
01:27:37.000 Whoa.
01:27:38.000 That's...
01:27:38.000 Fucking Game of Thrones type shit with silicone.
01:27:41.000 Disney was smart to buy Hulu because they just pulled all their stuff off Netflix.
01:27:47.000 All Disney, I think.
01:27:48.000 All Disney off Netflix.
01:27:50.000 So now they're just gonna put it all on Hulu, which is awesome because I love Hulu.
01:27:54.000 But here's the question.
01:27:55.000 Is it possible to be as big as Google and not be scary?
01:28:03.000 When something gets so big that it controls so much, people tend to just immediately get wary.
01:28:08.000 Like, whoa, this is the whole market.
01:28:12.000 If there's only one way you can get the internet, if Verizon was the only internet provider on planet Earth, that's it.
01:28:18.000 We'd be like, hey, just you?
01:28:21.000 Just you.
01:28:23.000 Because it's too big, right?
01:28:26.000 It controls too much.
01:28:28.000 It's like, what's the level we're comfortable with?
01:28:32.000 You're comfortable with Apple?
01:28:33.000 It depends on the company also, I think.
01:28:35.000 I think a lot of people trust Google.
01:28:37.000 Apple put the nets over the buildings when the people were jumping.
01:28:40.000 They did the right thing.
01:28:41.000 Did you see the thing with the batteries they did?
01:28:43.000 The response after they got sued?
01:28:45.000 That battery thing is crazy.
01:28:46.000 We gotta talk about that.
01:28:47.000 How many years ago did we start talking about?
01:28:50.000 You called it in like whatever the first year of the fucking new iPhone was.
01:28:57.000 When they had a new iPhone and then the new new iPhone.
01:28:59.000 As soon as the new new iPhone came out, you were like, I know what these motherfuckers are doing.
01:29:04.000 Yeah, but I get their excuse.
01:29:07.000 It might have been like two iPhones in.
01:29:09.000 I want to be honest about this.
01:29:10.000 I don't remember.
01:29:10.000 I don't remember.
01:29:11.000 But I remember there was a time that you called it first, way before everybody else.
01:29:15.000 I was like, Brian's all paranoid about technology.
01:29:18.000 I understand their excuse, though.
01:29:21.000 I get what they're saying.
01:29:23.000 I mean, if the batteries are going to start failing because it can't...
01:29:27.000 You know the power is all fucked up in a battery.
01:29:30.000 But to deny that they know that the throttling down of performance of the phone is not going to influence people into deciding to buy a new phone is ridiculous.
01:29:41.000 You're literally disabling the phone.
01:29:44.000 And you're not doing your customer service base...
01:29:47.000 You're not doing them a service.
01:29:50.000 Because if you really cared about them getting the best stuff all the time, what you would do is you would say...
01:29:58.000 Hey, these batteries are going to get older.
01:30:00.000 If you want to continue your phones, here's a new battery at a reasonable rate.
01:30:04.000 Otherwise, we have to throttle down the performance of your phone so that you can get a day's use out of it.
01:30:11.000 But that can be avoided by simply swapping out the battery.
01:30:15.000 So this is what happens when your phone gets to be a year old.
01:30:17.000 But that's sort of disingenuous, right?
01:30:20.000 And the batteries were so expensive.
01:30:21.000 Now I think they got them down to $29.
01:30:23.000 But that's just in response to getting in this situation.
01:30:28.000 I think they make amazing shit.
01:30:30.000 This iPhone X, whatever the fuck they want to call it, it's amazing.
01:30:34.000 It's crazy that there's a company that makes something like that.
01:30:37.000 They're going to make some mistakes.
01:30:39.000 I don't know who approved that mistake, but that's a mistake.
01:30:42.000 They shouldn't have done that.
01:30:44.000 The stuff they make is...
01:30:46.000 Someone's got to do that.
01:30:48.000 It's not going to be like the Brian and Joe Corporation.
01:30:50.000 I mean, you need something with massive resources and a shit-fucked ton of people to be able to put together the cash to make an iPhone X. I mean, you've got to hire a lot of fucking people to make this thing right.
01:31:06.000 You gotta hire wizards and sorcerers and goddamn silicone geniuses and people who know how to get lithium-ion batteries thinner than your fucking fingernail in these things.
01:31:20.000 Not thinner than your fingernail, right?
01:31:21.000 Thinner than a finger.
01:31:23.000 What's, like, how thick is a...
01:31:24.000 Well, it can't be that thick.
01:31:25.000 This shit has a case on it.
01:31:27.000 Like, how thin is a battery in a cell phone?
01:31:30.000 It's pretty thin.
01:31:31.000 Like paper chip.
01:31:32.000 Or a potato chip, rather.
01:31:35.000 Like a flat potato?
01:31:37.000 If you ever could flatten out a potato chip?
01:31:40.000 It's a little thicker than that, actually.
01:31:42.000 What's crazy, though, is that the phone before this, iPhone 7 Plus S, whatever the fuck it was, when I downloaded the new operating system on it, it was crashy, it was buggy, it fucked up all the time.
01:31:55.000 But then when I got the iPhone X, the same operating system, it worked way better.
01:31:59.000 So that's not anything to do with the battery.
01:32:02.000 That's just because they built an operating system around this processor, and this screen, and all the components on this, and then they're emulating it for all the other phones, or whatever they're doing.
01:32:13.000 It's almost like the only way to be truly awesome at something is just to be greedy, too.
01:32:19.000 Yeah.
01:32:20.000 It's like, we've got to fuel this motherfucker, okay?
01:32:23.000 This is projected sales, and we can get that up at about 20%, and this is how we're going to do it.
01:32:29.000 They had dark secret meetings where they just had candles, went into the fucking basement, and they were going to slow down the old phones.
01:32:36.000 No!
01:32:37.000 Don't do it, Mark!
01:32:40.000 Working for technology.
01:32:41.000 We've always worked for technology.
01:32:42.000 We can't slow down the fucking phones, man.
01:32:45.000 We're gonna slow them down.
01:32:46.000 We're gonna slow them down, sell them the new shit.
01:32:48.000 They don't need the new shit.
01:32:50.000 It's about information more than it's about new apps.
01:32:54.000 You been watching Black Mirror?
01:32:56.000 I only watched three episodes, but I love it.
01:32:58.000 You haven't watched a new season?
01:32:59.000 I've watched, I think, one episode of the new season, which was the video game episode, but the guy was in the lifelike video game that was remarkably similar to Ari Shafir's Salvia Divinorum trip.
01:33:10.000 Oh, there's no new season as of like two days ago.
01:33:13.000 There's another new season?
01:33:14.000 Oh, two days ago.
01:33:15.000 Oh, Christ, I can't.
01:33:17.000 I don't have the time for this, but the last one I watched was the video game one.
01:33:21.000 I'm hooked on the Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt right now on Netflix.
01:33:25.000 Have you watched it?
01:33:26.000 Dude, that is a funny, silly show.
01:33:30.000 Oh yeah, I have seen that.
01:33:31.000 Yeah, the lady, she was trapped in a bunker for 15 years in a religious cult and she gets out and she's living in New York City and she doesn't know what the fuck's going on.
01:33:39.000 It's really funny, man.
01:33:40.000 There's a couple episodes where it kind of falls apart, but then it bounces back strong.
01:33:44.000 It's very funny again now.
01:33:45.000 It's a really good show.
01:33:46.000 I'm on like episode...
01:33:48.000 I want to say eight.
01:33:52.000 I think I'm on episode eight.
01:33:53.000 Black Mirror is getting in some trouble because I guess Carl Pinkerton.
01:33:57.000 Yeah.
01:33:58.000 Supposedly, two different episodes, he talks about something that they stole in Black Mirror, which is weird.
01:34:06.000 It was in the news today.
01:34:08.000 Well, I don't know what the specifics are, so I don't want to comment.
01:34:12.000 But there's a lot of things that...
01:34:15.000 Black Mirror did a subject that I talked about, too, but it was just because a lot of people were talking about potential future technologies like this video game thing where they put something in the back of your head, like the Matrix, and plug you into some artificial experience that's indistinguishable.
01:34:32.000 I've talked about that a hundred times, just from being high and thinking about what are they going to be able to do next that's crazier than Duncan Trussell when he had that HTC Vive.
01:34:42.000 You put that thing on.
01:34:44.000 I have one.
01:34:44.000 Did you put that thing on?
01:34:45.000 Oh, you have one.
01:34:47.000 Duncan had me over his podcast and I put it on for like an hour and a half before I did it.
01:34:51.000 You do that and you go, okay, well, what's next?
01:34:55.000 So I don't know if Carl just was able to figure out what's next.
01:34:59.000 Are they saying this plagiarism?
01:35:01.000 Yeah.
01:35:02.000 Do you have the article, Jimmy?
01:35:07.000 It seems pretty specific, where it's not like, hey, he's talking about simulation theory.
01:35:11.000 It's more like, oh, he actually had this idea.
01:35:14.000 I forget what it is.
01:35:15.000 I saw it this morning.
01:35:16.000 Sometimes, though, it is parallel thinking.
01:35:19.000 So it's just in the interest of...
01:35:21.000 This spoiler alert's in there.
01:35:22.000 I don't even want to read.
01:35:23.000 Okay, watch Carl Pinken predict new Black Mirror plots years ahead of time.
01:35:28.000 Yeah, you're right.
01:35:28.000 We can't bring these out.
01:35:30.000 So, who wrote the article?
01:35:32.000 What's it on?
01:35:33.000 Gizmodo.
01:35:33.000 Gizmodo.
01:35:34.000 I love that site.
01:35:35.000 Very good site.
01:35:36.000 Yeah.
01:35:37.000 I love them.
01:35:38.000 Very good site.
01:35:39.000 They're real news.
01:35:41.000 Do you have like five websites that you just shuffle back and forth?
01:35:46.000 Gizmodo's one, Engadget's one, Kotaku's one.
01:35:48.000 New Scientist's one.
01:35:49.000 New Scientist.
01:35:51.000 People get mad, but you tell them I like to read the New York Times.
01:35:54.000 New York Times?
01:35:55.000 People get mad.
01:35:56.000 You like reading fake news?
01:35:57.000 It's the fucking New York Times, okay?
01:36:00.000 You cannot just immediately dismiss the fucking New York Times.
01:36:03.000 You cannot.
01:36:04.000 With any mistakes that anybody has made ever, you cannot fucking dismiss the New York Times.
01:36:09.000 How...
01:36:11.000 How dare you?
01:36:11.000 They're a giant part of what made people at this level, in terms of our understanding of world events, a giant part leading to 2017. If you look at the history of human beings, understanding the reality of a detailed intellectual Understanding of the reality of certain current world events compiled in a daily resource.
01:36:39.000 The New York Times changed the world.
01:36:41.000 It offered people super high-level information from uber-smart people on a regular basis.
01:36:51.000 And to dismiss that and say that that's just as good as any other paper, no, no, no, it's a pursuit.
01:36:57.000 They were in a pursuit for excellence In information.
01:37:02.000 Now, whether or not they made some mistakes, I criticized them for that Conor McGregor weird thing that they said his face was covered in blood and he was...
01:37:11.000 And they fixed it immediately.
01:37:12.000 Yeah, they said he almost fell through the ropes before the referee rescued him.
01:37:16.000 I'm like, no, they didn't.
01:37:17.000 He got his ass kicked.
01:37:18.000 You don't have to make anything up.
01:37:20.000 What happened was amazing.
01:37:22.000 You don't have to embellish it just to make your magazine.
01:37:25.000 This is crazy.
01:37:26.000 You can't do that.
01:37:27.000 You're the New York Times, especially in this day and age.
01:37:31.000 You've got to resist.
01:37:32.000 You've got to be on rubber.
01:37:33.000 You're glue.
01:37:34.000 You can't even respond.
01:37:35.000 You can't put out anything fake.
01:37:38.000 You just can't.
01:37:39.000 But people that go, oh, the New York Times is fake news.
01:37:43.000 They've been around for so long!
01:37:44.000 Do you know how much important shit they put out?
01:37:47.000 You're going to just dismiss them because you love Trump.
01:37:49.000 You're really willing to do that?
01:37:51.000 That's as crazy as anything I've ever heard.
01:37:53.000 You can't do that either.
01:37:55.000 They can't be exonerated.
01:37:57.000 They can be exonerated, but they can't be exempt from not being called out by printing something that's not true.
01:38:04.000 Everyone should be held up to the same standards.
01:38:06.000 But if you don't appreciate what the New York Times has done, that seems crazy to me.
01:38:13.000 They're really important.
01:38:15.000 Did you see all the Trump, like, global warming tweets?
01:38:19.000 Like, he doesn't really understand global warming.
01:38:22.000 He's trolling, bro.
01:38:23.000 Scientists, wake up!
01:38:24.000 It's freezing right now.
01:38:25.000 Global warming's not real.
01:38:26.000 He's 70 and he's trolling.
01:38:30.000 Yeah, that's weird, right?
01:38:32.000 I wish the whole thing was a troll.
01:38:32.000 That's true.
01:38:33.000 That'd be so fucking good.
01:38:34.000 No, he's trolling about that, though.
01:38:36.000 You know, he just doesn't want anybody fucking with him.
01:38:37.000 And he feels like a lot of the mainstream media, they fuck with him.
01:38:40.000 And so he fires back.
01:38:41.000 And then it becomes this weird thing where all the people that are on his side started, like, you know, people pick sides, man.
01:38:48.000 And they're like, fake news, fake news.
01:38:50.000 Like...
01:38:51.000 No, it's the New York Times.
01:38:53.000 It's one of the best news sources ever.
01:38:57.000 Have they said shit that's not true?
01:38:58.000 100%.
01:38:59.000 You know why?
01:38:59.000 They're run by people.
01:39:01.000 People fuck up.
01:39:02.000 Everywhere.
01:39:03.000 There's not a place where they go where they don't fuck up.
01:39:05.000 Every fucking place a person goes, they fuck up.
01:39:09.000 They fuck up in Harvard.
01:39:11.000 They fuck up in MIT. They just fuck up way less than most of us.
01:39:16.000 They're still just people.
01:39:20.000 It's a weird time right now.
01:39:22.000 It's a weird time right now as far as the way people are looking at things.
01:39:27.000 You know?
01:39:31.000 Everything seems very exaggerated.
01:39:34.000 Like we're preparing for something.
01:39:36.000 Like we're a screaming baby.
01:39:39.000 War.
01:39:39.000 You think so?
01:39:41.000 North Korea.
01:39:41.000 But here's the other thing.
01:39:43.000 North Korea just made a speech recently where they were actually open to high-level talks and it was way more passive and less threatening.
01:39:53.000 And people like this crazy motherfucker might realize Trump is a crazy motherfucker, too, who actually runs the U.S. And unlike Obama, who would probably never consider attacking North Korea, he's looking at Trump.
01:39:53.000 Yeah.
01:40:07.000 He's like, this dude is 70. Okay?
01:40:10.000 He's old as fuck, he's been a gangster his whole life, and now he just took over the country.
01:40:15.000 And he let the military guys do whatever the fuck they want to do.
01:40:18.000 You don't think there's a high possibility that some of those spaceships from Nevada might come out of a hole in the ground and go rocketing towards North Korea in 20 minutes and let loose some crazy new bombs that you haven't even heard of yet?
01:40:32.000 That's entirely possible.
01:40:33.000 He knows it.
01:40:35.000 I don't like to think there's any benefit to our current situation.
01:40:41.000 Well, we also just cut off all their, was it gas?
01:40:44.000 Yeah.
01:40:45.000 Yeah, there's some serious sanctions.
01:40:47.000 So that might be wise.
01:40:49.000 Well, let's talk about it, guys.
01:40:50.000 You're right.
01:40:51.000 That's actually probably more logical.
01:40:52.000 Yeah.
01:40:53.000 But I'm doing more the comic book thing.
01:40:56.000 It's like people don't want to piss Trump off.
01:40:58.000 It's interesting, you know?
01:41:02.000 It makes sense.
01:41:04.000 He's definitely nuttier than the regular dude.
01:41:06.000 He's definitely nuttier than the regular dude that's in the job.
01:41:09.000 I thought we were getting attacked the other day when that SpaceX launch happened.
01:41:12.000 Did you really think so?
01:41:14.000 Well, everyone at Starbucks starts running out.
01:41:18.000 I was like, oh my god, what's going on?
01:41:20.000 Is there a bomb?
01:41:20.000 I was kind of freaked out.
01:41:22.000 Then everyone's staring at the sky, so I run out.
01:41:25.000 First, I thought it was an alien because that pulsating smoke that was happening on the side.
01:41:32.000 Like, I had never seen anything like that before.
01:41:34.000 It was like, wait, my eyes have never seen that before.
01:41:37.000 Because it was like, it looked like a big whale.
01:41:39.000 Then there was like a dot in the middle of it that was pulsating, like smoke rings almost.
01:41:44.000 And it just looked foreign.
01:41:45.000 It looked like an alien.
01:41:46.000 But then everyone's like, is that Korea?
01:41:48.000 And I'm like, I didn't even think about North Korea.
01:41:49.000 Ooh!
01:41:51.000 Is that headed downtown?
01:41:52.000 I saw one of those once on Melrose.
01:41:54.000 It was a launch out of Edwards Air Force Base.
01:41:56.000 They launched something, like some missile test.
01:41:58.000 I was like, whoa, you saw this thing shooting across the sky.
01:42:01.000 People are pulling their cars over.
01:42:03.000 This is a long time ago.
01:42:04.000 And they did it like right at dusk, right as the sun was setting.
01:42:08.000 I think they thought they could get away with it.
01:42:10.000 They could sneak it in there before we could see it.
01:42:12.000 It's it's weird that they do that like there was a lot of car accidents when that happened because Everyone thought what the fuck were we getting attacked?
01:42:19.000 It's weird that they don't like you know how your phone goes off if Pablo gets kidnapped by his stepdad, you know you have that But they won't say hey, there's gonna be a big rocket launch.
01:42:30.000 What are you showing us Jamie?
01:42:31.000 What is this time-lapse of the one from last week?
01:42:33.000 That is crazy Oh my god.
01:42:39.000 Oh my god, that is crazy.
01:42:42.000 And it's going around the earth and off into the fucking space.
01:42:46.000 They're shooting off three on Friday night, so just here's your warning so you don't freak out.
01:42:51.000 Oh, we're gonna be in the store.
01:42:53.000 When is the one where he shoots a Tesla to Mars?
01:42:57.000 When's he doing that?
01:42:57.000 It's coming up soon.
01:42:58.000 That motherfucker is crazy.
01:42:59.000 I think that's what the thing on Friday is.
01:43:01.000 It got pushed to Friday from Thursday, and it's setting up the big launch, which I think is that.
01:43:07.000 Has there ever been a guy that's more like Tony Stark than Elon Musk?
01:43:11.000 He's awesome.
01:43:11.000 Never!
01:43:12.000 Do you think he's sending his car away so he can go get it?
01:43:15.000 Like he's going to be the first one to go?
01:43:17.000 I'm fucking out of here.
01:43:19.000 Taking my car with me.
01:43:19.000 I won't let him go.
01:43:21.000 You gotta stay.
01:43:22.000 Do we need you down here?
01:43:23.000 You might not make it back.
01:43:25.000 What if your calculations are off?
01:43:26.000 What if your calculations are off like, you know, sometimes people are saying they get up to the Tesla and the door handle doesn't open up automatically and then you don't even have a door handle?
01:43:34.000 Like, okay.
01:43:36.000 What if that happens when you're up there, bro?
01:43:38.000 Yeah.
01:43:39.000 Huh?
01:43:40.000 We never had a super genius That everybody wants to just hand the keys to before.
01:43:45.000 What if he is the Bitcoin guy, too, that some people think...
01:43:47.000 Some people think he created Bitcoin, yeah.
01:43:49.000 Oh, shit.
01:43:50.000 I have to ask Mr. Antonopoulos if he agrees with that.
01:43:53.000 I don't believe that.
01:43:55.000 Why don't you?
01:43:56.000 Because that would be too crazy.
01:43:57.000 He's already too crazy.
01:43:58.000 What if he's an alien?
01:44:00.000 What if he's the future?
01:44:01.000 He's dating Johnny Depp's ex.
01:44:02.000 He can't be too crazy.
01:44:03.000 He broke up with it, bro.
01:44:04.000 Oh, he did.
01:44:05.000 Good for him.
01:44:06.000 He brought it to the comedy store one night.
01:44:08.000 Oh, that's right.
01:44:09.000 Dude, I gotta think...
01:44:11.000 That there's levels to everything.
01:44:13.000 And there might be even levels in the super genius category.
01:44:16.000 And he's in some weird, new, crazy, ultra-productive level of the super genius category.
01:44:23.000 Dude, he powered...
01:44:25.000 What part of New Zealand was it or something like that?
01:44:28.000 Was it Australia?
01:44:29.000 It was Australia.
01:44:30.000 He made some sort of a bet where he would install some mega battery complex in Australia.
01:44:38.000 Am I remembering this right?
01:44:39.000 Yeah.
01:44:40.000 And it worked perfectly in record time.
01:44:45.000 See, Tesla built a giant battery to fight power outages in Australia, and it's already working.
01:44:50.000 And it worked in, like, milliseconds.
01:44:52.000 Like, the power went down and it kicked on in milliseconds.
01:44:56.000 Only lasts three years before it starts slowing down.
01:44:59.000 0.14 seconds.
01:45:02.000 That's insane.
01:45:03.000 After a major plant The Luoyang station in the neighboring state of Victoria suffered a sudden drop in output.
01:45:12.000 That's amazing.
01:45:13.000 It kicked in just 0.14 seconds after the thing went out.
01:45:20.000 The thing.
01:45:21.000 The thing.
01:45:22.000 Yeah, man, he's a wizard.
01:45:23.000 He's some sort of new type of cultural figure.
01:45:28.000 Like the electronic daddy.
01:45:31.000 He's the guy who's making cars, he's gonna build autonomous What are those, uh, transporter trucks?
01:45:39.000 Gigantic semi-trucks?
01:45:41.000 The boring company.
01:45:42.000 Yeah, the boring company.
01:45:44.000 He's gonna fix traffic.
01:45:45.000 He just keeps going.
01:45:46.000 Why doesn't he tackle things like cancer, herpes?
01:45:49.000 Figure it out on your own, bitch.
01:45:51.000 I'm busy making electric cars.
01:45:53.000 The fuck?
01:45:55.000 Why don't you fix it?
01:45:56.000 I'm doing this.
01:45:57.000 I made a car.
01:45:58.000 I'm shooting one of my cars to Mars.
01:45:58.000 I made a car.
01:46:00.000 Wanna come?
01:46:01.000 I think he's gotta have two or three friends that are also like, what do you guys wanna do this month?
01:46:01.000 Wanna watch?
01:46:06.000 What are we gonna fix or fuck with?
01:46:10.000 He's too smart to have friends.
01:46:12.000 He's got a couple people that he observes.
01:46:15.000 He's gotta have a buddy he bounces some shit off of.
01:46:17.000 Guy's an alien.
01:46:18.000 Don't you think the buddy would go, just talk to Johnny Depp?
01:46:24.000 I'd be like, listen, she seems amazing.
01:46:27.000 She's probably telling the truth.
01:46:29.000 I don't know.
01:46:31.000 I don't know who's right, who's wrong.
01:46:33.000 I want you to be happy, bro.
01:46:36.000 I don't want craziness in your life.
01:46:39.000 She just got off of doing coke and jumping out of windows.
01:46:43.000 He's in Paris freaking out.
01:46:44.000 What do I do?
01:46:47.000 Yeah.
01:46:48.000 I think...
01:46:50.000 There's levels to the super genius game, and he's some new level.
01:46:53.000 He's like some new Mike Tyson punch-out character.
01:46:56.000 Like, whoa!
01:46:57.000 Like, this is the new super genius inventor level.
01:47:01.000 But that's also a super famous person.
01:47:04.000 Like, everybody knows who Elon Musk is.
01:47:08.000 He's almost like a character.
01:47:10.000 Like, if you wanted proof...
01:47:12.000 That there's some sort of a really super complex, captivating narrative about being a person in 2018. He's a central character.
01:47:22.000 Was he smart his whole life?
01:47:24.000 Like, was he creating things in like middle school and high school?
01:47:26.000 Or did one day out of nowhere this guy comes and goes, Oh, I invented this whole stuff.
01:47:30.000 I'm smart.
01:47:31.000 That's a good question.
01:47:32.000 Maybe it's all a rouge.
01:47:33.000 That's a good question.
01:47:34.000 It's really just Foxconn.
01:47:36.000 What if he's the first robot?
01:47:37.000 What if they sent him?
01:47:40.000 We get him to run for president.
01:47:42.000 He wins.
01:47:44.000 And then on TV, cuts open his arm, and he shows you circuitry.
01:47:47.000 It's like, robots need love, too.
01:47:49.000 I helped you guys.
01:47:51.000 I fixed your whole fucking world.
01:47:53.000 That's the way.
01:47:54.000 He made a computer game when he was 12. Yeah, but which one?
01:47:57.000 E.T.? Or Atari?
01:47:59.000 Doom.
01:48:00.000 Doom.
01:48:02.000 Oh, Doom VR, have you played that yet?
01:48:04.000 It's very disturbing to know there's people that are that much smarter than you, right?
01:48:08.000 You go, well, okay.
01:48:09.000 But here's the thing, like, people are better than you at shit.
01:48:12.000 You gotta get over that.
01:48:14.000 There's just no way around it.
01:48:16.000 You know, imagine if you're like Elon Musk's older brother.
01:48:20.000 And you, you know, you're like, bro, you don't know shit.
01:48:23.000 You're only seven.
01:48:25.000 He's like, okay.
01:48:27.000 And it just brews up inside of him.
01:48:32.000 Grows.
01:48:32.000 Grows in power.
01:48:34.000 Then what do you do?
01:48:36.000 Even if you're happy, even if you have a great life, like even if you're like, you know, what do I do?
01:48:41.000 Oh, I make log furniture, you know, like for outside, for the patio.
01:48:47.000 I mean, some of people's fondest moments.
01:48:49.000 You're sitting out on the back patio, and it seems kind of old-fashioned to me.
01:48:56.000 And one of the old-fashioned things that I like is log furniture.
01:48:59.000 So I build log, outside, patio furniture.
01:49:03.000 My name's Michael.
01:49:04.000 Michael Musk?
01:49:05.000 Yeah, I'm super happy.
01:49:07.000 Couldn't be happier.
01:49:08.000 Yeah, yeah, he's my brother.
01:49:11.000 Yeah, Elon, let me tell you something.
01:49:14.000 Elon's on speed, okay?
01:49:16.000 Elon's on Adderall and ProVigil and NuVigil and he's taking micro doses.
01:49:22.000 He micro doses.
01:49:23.000 He's not clean.
01:49:24.000 Test him.
01:49:26.000 He's got a brother.
01:49:28.000 Oh no.
01:49:28.000 Kimball Musk.
01:49:29.000 No!
01:49:31.000 Kimball's probably the real Elon Musk.
01:49:33.000 He's a super genius that exists in the lotus position and floats in midair in some wheat silo somewhere in New Hampshire and they go visit him a couple of times a month.
01:49:42.000 I wouldn't mind.
01:49:43.000 I would be like, give me a free Tesla every couple days.
01:49:45.000 They probably got that dude in the bunker with Dick Cheney right now.
01:49:49.000 Kimball Musk.
01:49:50.000 Yeah, I want to know what Kimball does.
01:49:52.000 He teaches Kung Fu.
01:49:54.000 He's in those videos that I always post on Instagram.
01:49:57.000 Imagine if his brother was just a nut.
01:50:00.000 Oh, look at him.
01:50:01.000 Handsome bastard.
01:50:02.000 Drinking coffee.
01:50:03.000 Oh my.
01:50:03.000 Age 45. Regional manager for Blockbuster Video.
01:50:07.000 Oh, he's from South Africa.
01:50:08.000 Even crazier.
01:50:09.000 So Elon's from South Africa.
01:50:11.000 Wow.
01:50:13.000 They co-started a company called Zip2 and sold it to Compaq and that's where he started.
01:50:19.000 South Africa is a interesting place.
01:50:22.000 Very, very interesting place.
01:50:24.000 A lot of people I know that go there love it.
01:50:27.000 And obviously the crazy history with Nelson Mandela and apartheid and how recent that was to us.
01:50:35.000 But I always think of that Sugar Man movie when I think of South Africa now.
01:50:41.000 I always think of District 9. Doesn't it look like District 9 there?
01:50:46.000 The movie with the robots?
01:50:48.000 District 9 was the movie with the aliens.
01:50:52.000 They were aliens.
01:50:53.000 No, they weren't robots, right?
01:50:54.000 They were like weird aliens.
01:50:56.000 What were they?
01:50:57.000 I think...
01:50:59.000 Some sort of thing of both, honestly.
01:51:00.000 It was like some sort of tech alien.
01:51:02.000 Oh, that's right.
01:51:03.000 Can you show it again?
01:51:03.000 What was it?
01:51:04.000 That was a great fucking movie.
01:51:05.000 I love that movie.
01:51:06.000 It's one of my favorites.
01:51:08.000 Oh, that's right.
01:51:10.000 Yeah, they were like some sort of mecca news.
01:51:12.000 Yeah, that's right, man.
01:51:15.000 Fuck, that was a good movie.
01:51:16.000 I need to re-watch it.
01:51:18.000 I think it was shot in South Africa.
01:51:19.000 I think that's where he's from.
01:51:20.000 The guy that made it Neil Blomkamp.
01:51:22.000 Yeah.
01:51:24.000 What was the movie I said that it made me remind me of?
01:51:27.000 Uh...
01:51:29.000 What did I just say?
01:51:30.000 I heard it, but it's not registered.
01:51:33.000 God damn it.
01:51:37.000 Dee Antwerd is always a big connection.
01:51:39.000 I always think about them.
01:51:42.000 But I was saying, it was Nelson Mandela and there was something else that made me think about South Africa.
01:51:47.000 I'll come back to it.
01:51:48.000 Oh, that Alicia movie.
01:51:50.000 That was the Matt Damon movie.
01:51:51.000 Was that in South Africa?
01:51:53.000 I don't know.
01:51:54.000 I think it's sort of a similar topic as District 9. It's crazy that a guy like Elon Musk, some super duper fucking genius, would come out of that spot.
01:52:10.000 What's that place like?
01:52:12.000 We should do a JRE in South Africa.
01:52:14.000 Do a live JRE. Swim with the Great Whites.
01:52:18.000 Fuck that.
01:52:19.000 That's true, right?
01:52:20.000 That's the scary spot.
01:52:21.000 Like, I hear when you fly over them in your plane, they jump up and try to bite the plane.
01:52:28.000 Think of that spot, man.
01:52:30.000 You want to talk about spots?
01:52:32.000 South Africa.
01:52:34.000 Like, Dutch colonists.
01:52:37.000 Trying to like carve out a place in the land in Africa.
01:52:43.000 What do you got me here?
01:52:44.000 The wild boys in South Africa.
01:52:46.000 Oh no.
01:52:47.000 Got in a zebra suit and went out and let lions fuck with them.
01:52:51.000 Great idea.
01:52:52.000 We had Steve-o on the Kill Tony last night for the weigh-ins.
01:52:56.000 Is this in a game preserve though?
01:52:58.000 I remember them actually telling this story on here.
01:53:00.000 I think they shot the lion part here in LA. The reason why I ask is they have places in South Africa where they let the lions loose or not.
01:53:08.000 Like, they know when to let them loose.
01:53:10.000 Like, it's kind of...
01:53:11.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.
01:53:12.000 The lions actually tried to get them?
01:53:14.000 Yeah.
01:53:15.000 Oh, no.
01:53:16.000 They did the dumbest stuff.
01:53:17.000 Oh, my God.
01:53:19.000 That's insane.
01:53:21.000 The lions took away their hat?
01:53:23.000 This is zebra head.
01:53:25.000 Dude, that is so crazy.
01:53:27.000 They're lucky they lived.
01:53:29.000 They did the dumbest stuff on that show.
01:53:31.000 Yeah, that really was.
01:53:32.000 He's had more than one experiences with lions then, because I thought the one that he had in the tree was the only one he ever had.
01:53:37.000 Is that Steve-O right there?
01:53:40.000 He's crazy.
01:53:42.000 I had drinks with him, Everlast, Eddie Bravo, one of Eddie's students, and Steve-O's girlfriend were all hanging around.
01:53:52.000 And Steve-O was telling me all these different things that he's about to do.
01:53:57.000 And I was like, why?
01:53:59.000 I'm like, why are you doing that?
01:54:00.000 And he was showing me the scars that he had on his arm from the operations where he had to...
01:54:05.000 What's going on here?
01:54:07.000 He's got a hook.
01:54:08.000 He's bait for sharks.
01:54:10.000 He put a hook through his lip.
01:54:12.000 And then jumped out in the water with sharks.
01:54:15.000 Dude.
01:54:15.000 Oh my god.
01:54:17.000 No cage.
01:54:18.000 Just jumped in the water with a hook in his mouth.
01:54:21.000 His latest one where he got burnt in his back and everything.
01:54:24.000 Disgusting.
01:54:25.000 Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
01:54:26.000 He had a bunch of different skin grafts from cadavers.
01:54:32.000 That's so crazy.
01:54:35.000 He looks good now, though.
01:54:36.000 Saw him last night.
01:54:37.000 He does.
01:54:38.000 He's showing, but he's planning on more chaos.
01:54:41.000 He's not, like, you always gotta go, oh, you're done.
01:54:43.000 You can walk.
01:54:43.000 You're fine.
01:54:44.000 Everything's fine.
01:54:45.000 Let's just end this.
01:54:46.000 Nope.
01:54:47.000 He's like Evel Knievel.
01:54:48.000 That guy never stopped, right?
01:54:50.000 I think he's way less busted up than Evel Knievel.
01:54:52.000 Evel Knievel lived in the days where, you know, the medicine was not as good.
01:54:57.000 But he also was flying motorcycles and shit.
01:55:00.000 Way different.
01:55:01.000 Wait, Evel Knievel was jumping rockets across canyons.
01:55:05.000 Remember that?
01:55:06.000 Snake River Canyon?
01:55:07.000 Is that what it was?
01:55:09.000 Where was that?
01:55:10.000 In Arizona or some shit?
01:55:12.000 Do you remember that?
01:55:13.000 He had a rocket, he shot it across a canyon?
01:55:17.000 Those guys that climb those skyscrapers and stuff, did you see the guy that fell?
01:55:24.000 Yeah, I did.
01:55:25.000 That was a creepy video to watch.
01:55:27.000 Horrifying video to watch.
01:55:28.000 Scary.
01:55:29.000 Horrifying.
01:55:30.000 Yeah, that's encouraging that is not wise, but discouraging it I've seen a lot of those videos, right?
01:55:46.000 I've watched a lot of them.
01:55:47.000 I had, uh...
01:55:49.000 What is his name?
01:55:50.000 The guy that's...
01:55:50.000 That we had on the show?
01:55:51.000 Super Strong Fingers.
01:55:52.000 James Kingston?
01:55:53.000 James Kingston, who's a very nice guy, who has done a lot of things online that have freaked me the fuck out.
01:55:59.000 He was a really nice guy.
01:56:00.000 I don't want to tell that guy he can't do something that I enjoyed watching that he succeeded in doing.
01:56:05.000 I don't want him to land on me either.
01:56:09.000 You know, it's like, I mean, how much time and effort have you done into cleaning up the bottom area where you might fall?
01:56:15.000 Because you're gonna fall, if you fall, okay, I'm not saying you're gonna fall, but if you fall, you might fall on somebody.
01:56:21.000 Okay, this is different.
01:56:23.000 Fuck this.
01:56:25.000 This is not good for me.
01:56:28.000 I can't even watch this thing.
01:56:32.000 Jamie, don't put this on TV. We gotta get down.
01:56:37.000 We gotta get down from here.
01:56:38.000 We gotta get down.
01:56:39.000 We gotta get down slow.
01:56:40.000 Don't walk on the top.
01:56:40.000 No, stop.
01:56:41.000 Don't talk about it.
01:56:42.000 We got away with it.
01:56:42.000 We got away with it.
01:56:45.000 Just thinking about it.
01:56:47.000 Just in the interest of full disclosure, we got way too high before this show.
01:56:50.000 Legal weed, that's why.
01:56:52.000 You know what it is?
01:56:53.000 Also, that fucking...
01:56:59.000 The weed that we used to have before Sober October and the weed after Sober October is different.
01:57:08.000 It's different stuff.
01:57:10.000 And I think the combination of those two things, the combination of taking a month off and then trying some new different stuff, there's different stuff.
01:57:19.000 It's different.
01:57:20.000 Yeah, but your tolerance also restarted.
01:57:22.000 Yeah, it's not good right now.
01:57:24.000 Sketchy.
01:57:25.000 You gotta be careful.
01:57:26.000 I gotta gingerly, gingerly walk into the waters.
01:57:28.000 One month, it cleanses you.
01:57:30.000 Oh, yeah.
01:57:31.000 It cleanses you.
01:57:31.000 It's amazing how fast it cleanses, like, three days.
01:57:34.000 If I haven't smoked in three days and I smoke a joint, I'm, like, so stoned, like, out of my gourd.
01:57:39.000 Yeah.
01:57:41.000 I still can't remember what I wanted to say about South Africa.
01:57:43.000 I knew it had something to do with apartheid and the struggle in that area and how strange it is.
01:57:51.000 African in itself.
01:57:52.000 What's that?
01:57:52.000 Chappie?
01:57:53.000 Someone said Chappie.
01:57:54.000 Oh, that was another movie?
01:57:54.000 Chappie?
01:57:55.000 That was the D'Antward one.
01:57:56.000 Yeah.
01:57:57.000 Yeah, that's right.
01:57:59.000 That's right.
01:57:59.000 That wasn't as good.
01:58:01.000 D'Antward came out strong.
01:58:03.000 They're interesting.
01:58:05.000 That Yolani, how do you say her?
01:58:07.000 Yolanda.
01:58:08.000 Yolani.
01:58:08.000 Yolani?
01:58:09.000 Yolandi Fuster.
01:58:10.000 How do you say her name?
01:58:14.000 Yolani.
01:58:14.000 How do you say it?
01:58:15.000 I think it's Yolani.
01:58:17.000 Yolana.
01:58:19.000 Yolandi.
01:58:20.000 Yolandi Visser.
01:58:21.000 That's it.
01:58:22.000 Yolandi Visser.
01:58:24.000 She reminds me of, like, Bingo.
01:58:29.000 Yeah.
01:58:30.000 What movie was that?
01:58:31.000 Chappie.
01:58:33.000 Do you know that they...
01:58:36.000 They were the main characters of the movie, but they said something about the director or the studio.
01:58:44.000 They got in a fight, so they took them off the poster and everything.
01:58:47.000 That's why they're not on any of the posters, even though they're main characters.
01:58:51.000 Oh, that's unfortunate.
01:58:52.000 Yeah.
01:58:53.000 That sucks.
01:58:54.000 See, that's why people like Deant, they're a little too raw.
01:58:57.000 They need like a slick talking manager.
01:58:59.000 Listen, we're dealing with artists here.
01:59:02.000 Ultimately, they don't really mean what they say.
01:59:04.000 It's just the same explosive nature that lives inside them that lets them create such amazing music that you're a fan of and I'm a fan of.
01:59:10.000 Sometimes it gets haywire.
01:59:12.000 And he would just like to come in and apologize for bitch slapping you and telling you to suck his dick.
01:59:19.000 It was all wrong.
01:59:21.000 Yeah, I mean, they didn't even market it that D ant word was in it.
01:59:25.000 That's crazy.
01:59:25.000 Yeah, that seems like a mistake.
01:59:27.000 It seems like you don't like money.
01:59:29.000 But who knows?
01:59:30.000 Who knows what they're really like?
01:59:32.000 You know, that would be the big bummer, right?
01:59:33.000 You meet them in their dicks.
01:59:35.000 Me and Duncan hung out with them.
01:59:36.000 Really?
01:59:36.000 They smelled like armpits.
01:59:38.000 Whose armpits, though?
01:59:40.000 Some people's armpits smell lovely.
01:59:42.000 It's like that one year you took deodorant off.
01:59:44.000 It wasn't a whole year.
01:59:46.000 It was like a week.
01:59:47.000 It just seemed like a year.
01:59:48.000 It was like Ari's DMT trip.
01:59:52.000 I remember with the E3 and you were just making waves of smell.
01:59:56.000 Yeah, you can't do it.
01:59:57.000 You just can't not wear deodorant.
01:59:59.000 I tried for a little while.
02:00:01.000 It's weird.
02:00:03.000 Isn't it interesting, too, that we've all just accepted that we have to put chemicals on certain parts of our body in order not to smell after you've been moving around for too long?
02:00:13.000 That's weird, man.
02:00:16.000 Like, have you ever shaved your armpits?
02:00:18.000 Wants by mistake.
02:00:20.000 Bad idea.
02:00:21.000 I wonder how much of an effect, it must have some effect on what your armpits smell like.
02:00:26.000 Has to.
02:00:27.000 Yeah.
02:00:27.000 Yeah, for sure.
02:00:30.000 But you can't do it.
02:00:33.000 Unless you're a bodybuilder.
02:00:36.000 Like, there's things you could do.
02:00:37.000 Like, if my chest itches, I'll shave my chest.
02:00:39.000 And I'm embarrassed to say it, but I'll do it.
02:00:41.000 Especially if it gets itchy after a while.
02:00:43.000 I don't know, fuck with my armpits, bro.
02:00:46.000 That's vain.
02:00:47.000 What about guys that shave their arms that don't have, like, tats?
02:00:50.000 I think I heard something like Carrot Top or someone saying he shaves his arms.
02:00:53.000 He just does it because he likes the feeling.
02:00:55.000 I hate the feel.
02:00:55.000 Well, Carrot Top used to be a super bodybuilder jacked guy.
02:00:59.000 I think he said he did it one time when he was a swimmer and he just liked the feeling, so he was just like, fuck it.
02:00:59.000 Remember?
02:01:04.000 Slippery.
02:01:05.000 Slippery through that pool.
02:01:08.000 Slippery sliding.
02:01:10.000 I oil up.
02:01:11.000 I oil up before I swim.
02:01:15.000 So he's not buff anymore?
02:01:16.000 He's back to normal?
02:01:17.000 He's still buff.
02:01:18.000 He's just not a giant bodybuilder guy.
02:01:21.000 Creepy buff.
02:01:23.000 I don't want to talk for him because I don't know him, but I know Duncan did something with him a long time ago.
02:01:23.000 He...
02:01:29.000 They did a pilot for some sort of a reality show.
02:01:31.000 Like, hey man, I'm going to do this reality show with Carrot Top.
02:01:35.000 Yeah, that's Carrot Top, but it's Jackety Jackest.
02:01:38.000 And that's like a normal Carrot Top.
02:01:39.000 Yeah.
02:01:40.000 But that's, I think it's more what he's like now.
02:01:42.000 He's like more like, looks fit.
02:01:44.000 That looks like Kathy Gray.
02:01:45.000 Yeah, but like back then, he looked like super duper jacked.
02:01:50.000 Like his shoulders were popping out unnaturally wide.
02:01:54.000 Like it didn't even make sense.
02:01:55.000 Like right there.
02:01:57.000 Yeah.
02:01:58.000 He went off the deep end.
02:02:00.000 It looked like he had...
02:02:01.000 I mean, he's so big.
02:02:02.000 Who knows what the fuck he was doing.
02:02:03.000 But he was doing a lot of shit.
02:02:06.000 That shoulder does not look...
02:02:07.000 It looks like implants.
02:02:08.000 Yeah.
02:02:09.000 It could be something called synthol that some bodybuilders engage in and what it does.
02:02:15.000 They think it helps them balance out areas of their body that aren't big enough.
02:02:21.000 And it's real weird because there's a ton of videos of people taking, you know the videos, of people putting synthol on their muscles and dancing around.
02:02:30.000 That's not, that's just him looking buff.
02:02:33.000 That doesn't look anything nearly as bad.
02:02:36.000 We're looking at Carrot Top where he can see his dick root.
02:02:40.000 It goes, the photo goes all the way down to what I like to call.
02:02:43.000 Is that what's called dick root?
02:02:43.000 That's what I call it.
02:02:44.000 It's my name.
02:02:45.000 The Dean Cook always posts his dick roots.
02:02:48.000 Exactly.
02:02:49.000 When I describe that look to people where a man has his underwear at the very base of his cock, that's your dick root.
02:02:58.000 That's a beautiful term.
02:02:59.000 Yeah.
02:03:00.000 Thank you.
02:03:02.000 By the way, I demand 100% credit for Dickroot.
02:03:05.000 Dickroot.
02:03:05.000 I created it because I was trying to figure out how to describe what was uncomfortable about those kind of pictures.
02:03:11.000 It's like, you're trying so hard.
02:03:14.000 And that's Dickroot.
02:03:15.000 That's Dickroot all the way, Carrot Topps.
02:03:17.000 Diggity, diggity, Dickroot.
02:03:19.000 It looks like he has a thong on.
02:03:20.000 It doesn't even look like it should be possible with the laws of gravity.
02:03:24.000 It looks like that thing should fall down your ankles.
02:03:28.000 A freckled boner should come rocketing at the screen like a 3D shark in Jaws 3D. Jaws 3D. But he's just jacked.
02:03:39.000 I mean, he's just a guy who wants everybody to suck his dick.
02:03:42.000 Just letting you know it's right there.
02:03:43.000 It's right there.
02:03:46.000 That makes sense.
02:03:47.000 But he's just Jack.
02:03:49.000 But what doesn't make sense is the people would stick the oil in their arms and they would create water balloons where their muscles should be.
02:03:49.000 That makes sense.
02:03:57.000 And they would dance around.
02:03:58.000 There's one video of a guy throwing punches in the air with these water balloons for arms.
02:04:03.000 It's so weird.
02:04:05.000 It's so strange.
02:04:08.000 A dick root.
02:04:11.000 Remember that.
02:04:13.000 There's a bunch of people that have those pictures, those dick root pictures.
02:04:16.000 Yeah, I see.
02:04:16.000 Dane Cook, like, loves the dick root.
02:04:19.000 He's a handsome fellow.
02:04:20.000 He always posts the most funniest photos.
02:04:22.000 Works harder than Jim.
02:04:23.000 Yeah.
02:04:24.000 Wants to show the goods.
02:04:24.000 Oh, no.
02:04:25.000 Yeah, this guy.
02:04:26.000 This guy 100% is using that stuff.
02:04:28.000 Or he's got two equally sized tumors.
02:04:32.000 Does he think that looks good?
02:04:33.000 Well, he's probably mentally deficient, Brian.
02:04:36.000 There's probably something severely wrong with him.
02:04:38.000 Oh my god.
02:04:38.000 Now, if he was like balancing on top of a skyscraper at the same time, it would be even worse.
02:04:44.000 See, the thing about this young man is, you know, there's probably something severely wrong with him, but what he is is an abuser.
02:04:50.000 Look at him, he's throwing punches like he's like some sort of a boxer character with his giant water balloon arms.
02:04:57.000 But he's an abuser of something.
02:04:59.000 How many people are a more reasonable user of it and use it?
02:05:04.000 And that's what somebody thought the carrot top stuff was.
02:05:06.000 It's real common.
02:05:07.000 Yeah, he's a powerful arm wrestled guy who has one arm that's way more jacked than the other.
02:05:13.000 It looks so crazy.
02:05:14.000 Yeah, that can't be good for you, bro.
02:05:17.000 That's real?
02:05:18.000 Yep.
02:05:19.000 Yep.
02:05:20.000 He smashes people in arm wrestling.
02:05:22.000 It's so crazy.
02:05:24.000 This is dick root.
02:05:25.000 What is that?
02:05:25.000 Come on, man.
02:05:26.000 Don't do that, dude.
02:05:28.000 He's probably gonna be hurting when he gets older.
02:05:31.000 Brian might know, because he likes this topic.
02:05:34.000 Have you heard of the Korean Hulk guy that's supposedly dating Lindsay Lohan right now?
02:05:38.000 And all of a sudden this show is TMZ. Jamie jumps in with relationship gossip, you son of a bitch.
02:05:44.000 That's what you do every time.
02:05:46.000 Well, they posted a photo last night, Jamie.
02:05:49.000 And, you know, she's dealing with the IRS right now.
02:05:51.000 Oh, that guy's super jacked.
02:05:53.000 Holy shit.
02:05:54.000 Look at his dog.
02:05:55.000 What is that?
02:05:56.000 He's living with a werewolf.
02:05:57.000 That's like a monkey werewolf.
02:05:59.000 I tell you, man, I love Koreans.
02:06:01.000 We had a family dinner for my girlfriend the other day and I come in and they're cupping.
02:06:06.000 They're doing that thing where they puncture a little hole and then they put these glasses and they pretty much suck the bad blood out of you.
02:06:14.000 So I walk in and there's just blood everywhere and towels and shit like that.
02:06:20.000 What is it supposed to do?
02:06:21.000 We've talked about this before, right?
02:06:23.000 It's supposed to accelerate blood flow to the area, like pulls the tissue, the skin away from it, and accelerates blood flow?
02:06:30.000 Sometimes the blood comes out as gel, which is weird.
02:06:34.000 What I didn't know is, because I posted a video of it while they were doing it, a lot of people were saying that cupping's bad for you, and then I did research.
02:06:43.000 If it goes bad, it goes bad.
02:06:45.000 It leaves permanent damage if they don't do it right.
02:06:49.000 Really?
02:06:49.000 Yeah.
02:06:50.000 There's some photos that are pretty disturbing where, like, pretty much just holes in people's backs.
02:06:55.000 Oh, fuck, man.
02:06:57.000 But yet then the Olympians do it, you know?
02:06:59.000 Like, people for the Olympics do it.
02:07:01.000 So it's like, what's, you know?
02:07:02.000 Well, I don't know shit about medicine, but I would imagine...
02:07:06.000 Oh my god, what is that?
02:07:09.000 Chinese man left with horrific holes in back after botched.
02:07:14.000 Whoa, that's awful.
02:07:17.000 That could be just somebody who did it completely wrong.
02:07:19.000 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
02:07:20.000 What's that one on that far right where it looks like it has horns?
02:07:23.000 Lower right, lower right, the bottom.
02:07:25.000 Keep going, scroll down, scroll down, scroll down.
02:07:28.000 That one.
02:07:28.000 To the right, in the middle, with the orange and the blue.
02:07:31.000 The right, all the way to the right, Jamie, the other right.
02:07:34.000 Edge of the screen, go to the edge of the screen.
02:07:36.000 That guy.
02:07:37.000 Bam.
02:07:38.000 Looks like he's got horns.
02:07:39.000 I think that's real.
02:07:40.000 Oh.
02:07:41.000 It says water buffalo horns are being used for it, but I still don't know.
02:07:46.000 They're just using buffalo horns as cups.
02:07:48.000 Oh, what?
02:07:50.000 Cupping with buffalo horns?
02:07:52.000 That's what Rogan does.
02:07:53.000 Yo, bro, I do that right at the base of my balls.
02:07:56.000 My dick root.
02:07:58.000 What made sense to me is that you would kind of like create damage, which is why all that blood exists, and that maybe that it'd be like almost like a PRP sort of a thing, where all that extra blood that you've created from that area would go and help the blood flow to the part that's injured,
02:08:15.000 and it would accelerate healing.
02:08:18.000 You never know, man, because you can't say that people that are in the Olympics don't ever do anything stupid, because they definitely would do something stupid.
02:08:26.000 Someone could talk to me into doing a bunch of shit.
02:08:28.000 Sometimes, like, the psychological edge in believing that there's something that's going to work really good will be just enough to get a few people to do it.
02:08:36.000 But this has been around for a while.
02:08:38.000 This has been around long enough where people are going, like, you know, there's, like, really significant benefits.
02:08:43.000 So the water buffalo thing's real.
02:08:46.000 They really do it that way.
02:08:48.000 Yeah.
02:08:49.000 It's almost like traditional for, I guess, Korean culture.
02:08:51.000 Because, I mean, they were just doing it like it was nothing at a family dinner.
02:08:54.000 That's crazy.
02:08:55.000 That's crazy.
02:08:56.000 But maybe that works.
02:08:58.000 You know, I mean, the only way you find out if stuff like this works, which is like a really unconventional therapy, is you got to try it.
02:09:07.000 If all those super genius type guys that are training these Olympic athletes and getting them to peak performance and what could potentially be worth millions and millions of dollars in sponsorship money if they win the gold medal, if they're having these people get all cupped up, there's probably something to it.
02:09:21.000 All cupped up.
02:09:22.000 Right?
02:09:23.000 In this day and age?
02:09:23.000 I think it's like acupuncture.
02:09:25.000 I feel like I don't know enough to know if that's accurate or not.
02:09:28.000 It seems like it is.
02:09:28.000 Some people believe in it a lot because they pay a lot of money for it, do it all the time.
02:09:33.000 Yeah, for sure.
02:09:34.000 A lot of people do believe in acupuncture.
02:09:36.000 But cupping seems to me to be more next level.
02:09:39.000 It's like you're pulling the skin away from the area to the point where it bleeds and turns into a big-ass bruise.
02:09:45.000 You have this giant circle red spot where the increased blood flow hasn't been filtered out of the body yet.
02:09:52.000 You got some weird shit happen there.
02:09:53.000 That ain't a normal thing.
02:09:54.000 You got a big circle bruise on your back right where you're hurt.
02:09:59.000 Oh, I see what you're doing.
02:10:00.000 You're making it all bleed in there so it flows everything out of there and heals it up quicker.
02:10:04.000 It kind of makes sense to a dummy like me.
02:10:06.000 Like, I don't know anything about how the actual body functions in terms of like how things heal and whether or not it would accelerate or not, but...
02:10:13.000 That Michael Phelps guy's doing it?
02:10:15.000 Yeah.
02:10:15.000 When I asked him how, you know, how does it feel afterwards, he says, it's refreshing.
02:10:19.000 I feel way energetic now and relaxed.
02:10:22.000 Well, it's like people that wanted to deny the benefits of cryotherapy.
02:10:27.000 Before, like, some papers came out, there was a lot of people poo-pooing, and partly for good reason.
02:10:33.000 It's because a lot of the people that were running these cryotherapy sites got overzealous in their claims.
02:10:38.000 They got real overzealous in their claims of how much weight you can lose, how much better you can look, all these different things that may or may not be true when it comes to cryotherapy, especially in the way they described it.
02:10:51.000 But what can't be denied is the way it makes you feel.
02:10:56.000 It makes you feel fucking amazing.
02:10:58.000 You do three minutes in one of those cryotherapy places, you come out, they're like, woo!
02:11:03.000 Everybody I know that's tried it has been like, woo!
02:11:06.000 Like, I'll give a lot for that woo.
02:11:08.000 Like, that woo's good.
02:11:11.000 But everybody's right to be suspicious because the part before the woo was annoying.
02:11:15.000 There was a lot of increased collagen in your skin.
02:11:18.000 It's like a virtual facelift.
02:11:20.000 There's a lot of people claiming something.
02:11:23.000 You've got to be able to prove that.
02:11:25.000 But they can prove anti-inflammatory markers in the blood.
02:11:28.000 They can prove all these hormones and these neurochemicals that your brain can make when you're in that tank.
02:11:36.000 Cryotherapy chamber, rather.
02:11:40.000 You done yet?
02:11:41.000 No.
02:11:42.000 Want to do it today?
02:11:43.000 No.
02:11:45.000 We'll get you to do it today.
02:11:49.000 I'll definitely do it.
02:11:52.000 Just today, I don't feel great.
02:11:54.000 Don't be a pussy.
02:11:55.000 Maybe it'll make you feel better.
02:11:56.000 I had a milkshake last night.
02:11:58.000 Two minutes in there.
02:12:00.000 This whole podcast has been a ruse to get me to get you into the cryotherapy chamber.
02:12:05.000 I don't want to do a couple of sesh.
02:12:08.000 You can't.
02:12:09.000 You're too big.
02:12:11.000 Someone's gonna burn.
02:12:13.000 You'll touch the walls.
02:12:15.000 But people do go in as couples, but you gotta be like right close to each other.
02:12:18.000 Yeah, people like to endure shit together.
02:12:20.000 Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.
02:12:23.000 I heard you have a tank here now, though.
02:12:25.000 Yes, we do.
02:12:26.000 That's cool.
02:12:26.000 Yes, we do, Brian.
02:12:28.000 Did, uh...
02:12:30.000 Crash make it?
02:12:31.000 Yeah, Crash made it.
02:12:32.000 Float Lab.
02:12:33.000 Shout out to the Float Lab.
02:12:34.000 Float Lab Venice, Westwood.
02:12:35.000 Yeah, Crash put it in there.
02:12:37.000 He's a wizard.
02:12:38.000 He knows how to do it.
02:12:40.000 It's all crazy filtered with ozone and UV light filters and one micron filter.
02:12:47.000 He was explaining it all to me, but it was like...
02:12:49.000 Sounds good.
02:12:50.000 Sounds like you did good shit.
02:12:53.000 I'm too fucking dumb.
02:12:55.000 Plus, I can't pay attention to everything.
02:12:56.000 That's a problem, man.
02:12:58.000 That's how I feel when people keep bringing up Bitcoin.
02:13:00.000 I was like, let me know.
02:13:01.000 Let me know when you get this sorted out because I watch a lot of things.
02:13:05.000 I can't follow the Bitcoin show.
02:13:08.000 I can't.
02:13:08.000 I can't.
02:13:10.000 So when we got those bitcoins, remember when he gave us bitcoins a long time ago?
02:13:15.000 Who gave us bitcoins?
02:13:16.000 Andreas Antonopoulos?
02:13:18.000 I've been trying to open up my wallet or find my password to that wallet.
02:13:23.000 It's gone.
02:13:24.000 I'll never be able to get that bitcoin that he gave it.
02:13:26.000 Let the universe have it.
02:13:28.000 Let it be a statistical anomaly.
02:13:30.000 It's probably worth billions of dollars.
02:13:31.000 Millions!
02:13:32.000 Millions!
02:13:33.000 For now.
02:13:33.000 It's like you get in and get out, and people are accusing people of pumping dumps, and there's subterfuge.
02:13:40.000 Subterfuge is taken into consideration of some of the highs and lows.
02:13:43.000 Some things that happen anyway.
02:13:44.000 Just like everything, right?
02:13:44.000 Of course.
02:13:47.000 Like big corporations taking over shit.
02:13:49.000 It's like these patterns, they're normal.
02:13:53.000 You see them coming.
02:13:55.000 If you're gonna have something like Bitcoin, you're gonna have people.
02:13:58.000 For sure, not everyone's gonna be, well, hey man, I'm a fucking thief.
02:14:01.000 But not with Bitcoin.
02:14:03.000 Bitcoin would be super cool.
02:14:04.000 No more deception.
02:14:06.000 This is about the future.
02:14:07.000 It's about resolution.
02:14:09.000 This is about the children.
02:14:11.000 No, anybody who's a scam artist is gonna be a scam artist in anything they can.
02:14:15.000 Whether it's a fake religion, or a fake dating site, or a fucking...
02:14:21.000 Whatever they can do.
02:14:21.000 whatever.
02:14:22.000 Whatever they can get you with.
02:14:24.000 They're like, oh, this is what you guys do now?
02:14:24.000 They're gonna get you with.
02:14:26.000 Okay, I'll pretend to be that.
02:14:28.000 I'll hop right in there.
02:14:30.000 Right?
02:14:33.000 What do you think is the next big breakthrough that's going to change in terms of how technology and people get along?
02:14:47.000 You think it's going to be a robot sex doll?
02:14:50.000 No, I think home assistance.
02:14:54.000 You know, like having a robot be your home base, like computer.
02:15:00.000 I don't know like these Alexas and like Apple's about to release theirs and Google has released theirs and Have you seen the autonomous robots that monitor parking lots?
02:15:10.000 No.
02:15:10.000 Yeah, I tweeted it I think yesterday But definitely robots we're gonna give up our security and all our privacy at the same time We're going to be fine, because the robot's going to be watching us.
02:15:26.000 Keep an eye on me, robot.
02:15:28.000 There's going to be zero privacy.
02:15:30.000 Zero.
02:15:31.000 It's real close.
02:15:32.000 It's already there.
02:15:33.000 But I mean real close.
02:15:34.000 They're not just regular zero privacy, but no one ever has a moment alone, ever.
02:15:39.000 It doesn't exist anymore.
02:15:40.000 It'll slowly erode, then you go into the mountains, then they'll put cell phone towers out there, and then that's going to be it.
02:15:46.000 Whatever the technology is, you're going to know where everyone is at any moment, and we're going to really get to know each other.
02:15:58.000 I was looking up for the thing.
02:15:58.000 What do you got, Jamie?
02:16:00.000 It wasn't on your Twitter feed, I guess.
02:16:00.000 I saw...
02:16:03.000 I saw a video of autonomous parking robots moving cars in and out of spots.
02:16:07.000 I didn't put it on Twitter?
02:16:08.000 I thought I did.
02:16:09.000 Shit.
02:16:10.000 It was a comp...
02:16:13.000 I'm pretty sure I retweeted it.
02:16:15.000 You know what it is, though?
02:16:16.000 I think I retweeted somebody else saying, hey, this is happening, or something like that.
02:16:20.000 So it's probably not that clear.
02:16:22.000 One of the more recent tweets.
02:16:26.000 It's happening, Brian.
02:16:27.000 They're gonna be flying around us, monitoring us.
02:16:29.000 You saw that one robot, I think it was in San Francisco, beat up homeless people or something like that?
02:16:34.000 Good move.
02:16:35.000 When stuff like that happens, there's gonna be a big pullback.
02:16:35.000 Yeah.
02:16:38.000 It's crazy.
02:16:39.000 Robots fight with homeless people.
02:16:40.000 We need robots picking on the downtrodden.
02:16:40.000 Yeah, that's what we need.
02:16:43.000 That's a good move.
02:16:44.000 Let them know.
02:16:45.000 You pussies are on your way out.
02:16:46.000 The robots are here!
02:16:47.000 I mean, that literally is like the first wave of immigrants from the Silicon world.
02:16:53.000 Robots that fuck with homeless people.
02:16:55.000 The first invaders.
02:16:58.000 Tripping them and stuff.
02:17:01.000 iRobot, the thing about iRobot is you'd watch it and it was made just at the right time.
02:17:06.000 It was made where you didn't think it's ever possible.
02:17:08.000 It's made at a time where this is pretty cool.
02:17:11.000 Like, yeah man, the future.
02:17:12.000 Yeah, I could see it being real.
02:17:13.000 But you didn't think it was really possible.
02:17:15.000 And now you watch iRobot and you go...
02:17:18.000 Oh, it's inevitable.
02:17:19.000 That's inevitable.
02:17:21.000 That thing that does the robot thing, where it pretends to be a person and looks real freaky, that's easily doable.
02:17:27.000 Makama?
02:17:28.000 Or was that Machinima?
02:17:30.000 What's that one?
02:17:30.000 There it is.
02:17:31.000 That's it.
02:17:32.000 Security robots are being used to ward off San Francisco's homeless population.
02:17:38.000 That's the drone.
02:17:39.000 Who makes that thing?
02:17:39.000 What's it called?
02:17:41.000 Does it say?
02:17:42.000 They retired it.
02:17:43.000 Oh, they did?
02:17:44.000 There's a whole company that makes those things and has them wandering around parking lots.
02:17:50.000 Man, I hope I retweeted it.
02:17:52.000 I tried to.
02:17:55.000 Somebody sent it to me and I was like, okay, that's how it happens.
02:17:59.000 They just have these things wandering around recording everything.
02:18:01.000 So everybody's responsible for any car accident, anything that ever happens.
02:18:05.000 If it hears someone screaming rape, if it hears someone screaming police, it immediately goes to the scene and films.
02:18:11.000 It has no worries about its own mortality.
02:18:13.000 It's streaming in real time.
02:18:15.000 It gets to record all altercations between people.
02:18:18.000 Eventually, hotels agree.
02:18:19.000 As long as this is password secure and encrypted, they allowed to have the fire detector in the corner double as a video camera that records everything in the room at all times.
02:18:32.000 It's gonna happen.
02:18:33.000 Yeah, I agree.
02:18:34.000 Just gotta get used to people watching you fuck.
02:18:38.000 Are you ready?
02:18:38.000 I took the sticker off my webcam on my laptop a long time ago, Joe.
02:18:43.000 They can watch me all I want.
02:18:46.000 I don't know why I'm more nervous about this in 2018. This is what's silly.
02:18:50.000 I mean, it's become accelerated.
02:18:52.000 I'm more nervous every year when it comes to technology, because I'm not nervous in the way that I think it's totally 100% negative, but nervous in the way, like, it just seems to me that we might be in the middle of something and not be paying attention.
02:19:04.000 Like, that it's happening so fucking fast that we're caught up in it, and it's just this wild wave of change, and I'm just trying to make sense of it while it's happening.
02:19:14.000 But then there's something about, like, numbers.
02:19:16.000 Like, I used to think that saying, like, the year 2017, it's stupid.
02:19:22.000 Who cares what year it is?
02:19:23.000 It's all just now.
02:19:24.000 But no.
02:19:25.000 There's, like, a way we feel about it differently.
02:19:28.000 Like, you know, it's fucking 2018, dude, dude.
02:19:31.000 It's like, you have a feeling about you now.
02:19:33.000 It's like, we're very, very far ahead in this game.
02:19:39.000 This is the future.
02:19:41.000 2018, that's a crazy number.
02:19:43.000 Hey man, it's 1979. Nope, it's 2018. Whoa.
02:19:47.000 So weird.
02:19:48.000 So weird.
02:19:51.000 And when does this thing, like, if you had a guess, how much longer does the human race have?
02:19:59.000 Six months?
02:20:02.000 It seems like it.
02:20:03.000 No, if you really had a guess.
02:20:05.000 We're not going to be here forever, right?
02:20:06.000 So we're not going to be here 100,000 years from now or 200,000 years from now.
02:20:10.000 We're just not.
02:20:12.000 I started listening to the audiobook of Sapiens, and I feel like that's what it's getting to, that question you're asking.
02:20:18.000 The first couple chapters are leading up to, he says it over and over again, thousands of years from now, maybe 2,000 is what it's saying, that the human race won't be, or human beings won't be what we are today.
02:20:29.000 We'll be another...
02:20:32.000 Evolution of whatever that is, off of Australopithecus.
02:20:35.000 Yeah, Australopithecus.
02:20:37.000 Australopithecus.
02:20:38.000 See if you find any good pictures of that thing.
02:20:39.000 I mean, this is what they think.
02:20:40.000 They think that that's what started.
02:20:43.000 That was when it was fairly distinctly human.
02:20:46.000 It's gonna keep going.
02:20:48.000 It's gonna go to some new thing.
02:20:50.000 There it is.
02:20:51.000 Look at that thing.
02:20:52.000 I mean, that's so close.
02:20:55.000 It's like a walking, upright chimpanzee.
02:20:58.000 And then that got smarter, and that got smarter, and things kept going.
02:21:02.000 But the thing that really fucks you up is it's not that long ago.
02:21:06.000 Like, I think Australopithecus was less than two million years, right?
02:21:09.000 Mm-hmm.
02:21:10.000 Sounds right.
02:21:11.000 And then there's modern homo sapiens, which I think they think are somewhere in the neighborhood of 300,000 to 500,000 years old.
02:21:20.000 They keep moving it around a little bit when they find some new dead guy.
02:21:24.000 They find some new bones and they're like, oh, this one's older.
02:21:29.000 They're kind of guessing.
02:21:31.000 I want to say they're in the neighborhood of 300,000.
02:21:33.000 That ain't shit.
02:21:34.000 Dude, that ain't shit.
02:21:35.000 That just happened.
02:21:37.000 If that's when they really started, that just happened.
02:21:40.000 So you're talking about 300,000 years from now?
02:21:43.000 Woo!
02:21:44.000 That's crazy.
02:21:45.000 We're gonna be made out of gas.
02:21:46.000 We're gonna be like those fires that are on petroleum.
02:21:48.000 They won't be able to see us.
02:21:50.000 Our intelligence will be all-pervasive.
02:21:52.000 We'll have one operating system that we share with Mother Earth.
02:21:56.000 They'll plug it into our brains.
02:21:58.000 We'll plug into the ground and we'll become divine.
02:22:03.000 How about that?
02:22:04.000 No?
02:22:05.000 I don't know.
02:22:06.000 That's how I am.
02:22:07.000 You're like, let him go.
02:22:09.000 He'll come back.
02:22:10.000 I always wonder what they thought about this 200 years ago, 150 years ago.
02:22:14.000 What they thought...
02:22:16.000 I feel like they thought that the world was going to end, too, back then.
02:22:19.000 They were probably 25 years away from it ending.
02:22:22.000 Sure.
02:22:22.000 Anytime anything, especially back when there was no media, anytime anything catastrophic happened in your area, you thought that was going to be the end.
02:22:31.000 The moon was made of cheese.
02:22:34.000 It's really weird how recent that was.
02:22:39.000 That's what's weird.
02:22:40.000 When you just think about hundreds of thousands of years, it seems like a long ass time.
02:22:45.000 But it's not when you talk about the shape of human beings and what's happened in that amount of time, especially in the last few hundred or few thousand years.
02:22:57.000 Just all you need is sick.
02:22:58.000 If you want to like really impress the shit out of people, give me 10,000 years.
02:23:02.000 10,000 years ago and 10,000 years now.
02:23:05.000 You're like, wah!
02:23:06.000 You'd freak out.
02:23:07.000 There's no other time in history that would be the case.
02:23:09.000 Like, every other time in history, 10,000 years would be like, whoa, oh, they figured out how to make cooler houses.
02:23:14.000 Like, whoa, oh, he's riding an elephant.
02:23:16.000 How do you figure that out?
02:23:17.000 Like, whoa, oh, that bow and arrow's way better than my bow and arrow.
02:23:20.000 Every 10,000 years, no big deal.
02:23:23.000 Then all of a sudden, one 10,000 year period and you have everything.
02:23:27.000 You got the pyramids, you got space travel, you've got the internet, you got video, photography, 3D printers.
02:23:36.000 Every time you say something like this, this pops in my head, the end of Gangs of New York, where it shows that montage of the 100 years or so of New York changing.
02:23:45.000 And I just think about it, that's only 100 years that New York changed from this crazy nothingness, even though it's really big then, to like tons of skyscrapers and bridges and all of what it is today.
02:23:57.000 And it wasn't anything close to that back then, and that's like 100 years.
02:24:01.000 And you're talking about 10,000.
02:24:03.000 That's so much more time compared to 100. Yeah, that's an amazing montage.
02:24:08.000 Time-lapse.
02:24:09.000 What would you call that?
02:24:10.000 Yeah, it's time-lapse.
02:24:11.000 Look at that.
02:24:11.000 That's incredible.
02:24:13.000 New York City's a freakout, man.
02:24:15.000 And even more crazy.
02:24:17.000 Look at that.
02:24:17.000 It keeps going.
02:24:18.000 And that's even bigger now.
02:24:19.000 Oh my god.
02:24:20.000 Twin Towers aren't there.
02:24:22.000 Yeah, New York City is a genuine freakout.
02:24:24.000 Unless you've been, you should go.
02:24:27.000 If you've been and you get it, you're like, yeah, it's nuts.
02:24:29.000 I love going.
02:24:30.000 But if you haven't been, it's a paradigm shifter because you realize that it's possible.
02:24:34.000 It's such a big city.
02:24:35.000 I've been to a lot of big cities.
02:24:36.000 But New York City is so crazy in the way it's constructed that you go there, you have a different feel about you.
02:24:43.000 You're like, whoa, okay.
02:24:44.000 We're in New York City.
02:24:46.000 This is different.
02:24:47.000 It is different.
02:24:48.000 These buildings are fucking giant.
02:24:50.000 These people are everywhere.
02:24:51.000 This is crazy.
02:24:53.000 This is a different, completely different feeling.
02:24:57.000 And different people.
02:24:58.000 Yeah, unfortunately the people are Straddled down by the echoes of the emigrants that were their great-grandparents and their grandparents and their struggle that they had to get from Europe Over to America.
02:25:13.000 This is my thought because this is my own family.
02:25:15.000 I'm talking about I feel like a lot of the Italian immigrants with my grandfather He came over When he was a boy, his family, and on both my mom's and my dad's side, they all came over from Europe, either from Ireland or from Italy.
02:25:30.000 They were all, like, really aggressive, risk-taking people, you know?
02:25:34.000 And those are the people that built that whole area, which is just, when you think about, like, what a...
02:25:41.000 Crazy accomplishment it is to build this gigantic city from all these immigrants that came over from Europe, you know, from 1700, whatever it is, on just constructing all these incredible buildings.
02:25:53.000 It's a very, very bizarre accomplishment.
02:25:56.000 But that same kind of energy that brought those people over there in the first place would create a lot of interpersonal conflict and a lot of aggression.
02:26:05.000 I don't know if New York's totally gotten past that.
02:26:08.000 I think they have more now than ever before.
02:26:10.000 I was reading something about the crime rate, that New York's crime rate is the lowest it's been in a long-ass time.
02:26:17.000 I think we're at the highest right now, right?
02:26:19.000 LA is?
02:26:20.000 Are you making this up?
02:26:21.000 I feel like I just saw something the other day where...
02:26:24.000 We've had more homicides this year than recent.
02:26:27.000 You fall asleep?
02:26:28.000 Seems like it.
02:26:30.000 I'm trying to remember.
02:26:31.000 I thought I saw something that was close to that, but I thought the murder rate was down, but violent crime was up.
02:26:35.000 More pimp slaps than ever.
02:26:38.000 We have three police chases a day on the TV. It's like ridiculous how...
02:26:42.000 That sucks.
02:26:44.000 Yeah.
02:26:44.000 Police chases are fucking terrifying, because you don't want the cops to just let someone run away, or you don't want the cops to slam into you while they're chasing some guy.
02:26:52.000 You know?
02:26:53.000 Yeah, crime rates in New York City reached record lows.
02:26:56.000 There's an article about it.
02:26:58.000 DeBlasio, that's the guy, right?
02:27:01.000 It's just if you don't know that that's possible, go in there and see that it's possible, and then realize that it's on within 100 years.
02:27:09.000 That's where it's mind-boggling.
02:27:11.000 Or 200 years, or whatever New York City has been around for in totality.
02:27:17.000 What is the world we're experiencing right now going to be like in 100 years?
02:27:22.000 I mean, are...
02:27:24.000 It almost seems to me like there's no way we're going to be able to guess.
02:27:28.000 If you look at how quick that accelerated and use that as a pattern, like that kind of happened all across the country.
02:27:33.000 Chicago, LA, San Francisco, they all were nothing and then everything, you know?
02:27:38.000 Some people say New York won't be here in 100 years because of the water rising up.
02:27:42.000 Right.
02:27:42.000 Or LA. That would be crazy.
02:27:44.000 Fuck.
02:27:44.000 Fuck.
02:27:45.000 Well, we have a water crisis in a lot of parts of the country.
02:27:48.000 We just gotta suck the water out of the ocean and use it to spray all these dry-ass bushes so we stop the fires.
02:27:54.000 Yo, I'm always thinking.
02:27:57.000 Suck the water out of the ocean.
02:28:00.000 Stop making new houses for a while and start concentrating on sucking the water out of the ocean to put out the fire.
02:28:06.000 Just water all those trees.
02:28:08.000 Yeah, suck out the water out of the air.
02:28:11.000 Like, just get a bunch of humidifiers and then spray the water.
02:28:15.000 That's not good, because then people dry out, and then the Botox goes up.
02:28:18.000 This is what I think.
02:28:20.000 They gotta figure out how to get the salt out of the water, right?
02:28:22.000 They know how to do it.
02:28:23.000 But you can't just take ocean water and spray it on your lawn, right?
02:28:28.000 Kill your fucking lawn.
02:28:29.000 Won't it?
02:28:30.000 I don't know about that.
02:28:31.000 It's a fake lawn.
02:28:32.000 I don't know.
02:28:34.000 No, but I mean, if you have crops in your backyard, say, say if you're growing tomatoes, and you decide to water it with ocean water, would that be a bad idea?
02:28:43.000 Yes.
02:28:43.000 It would?
02:28:44.000 The salt would be terrible for it.
02:28:46.000 Right.
02:28:46.000 Why is that?
02:28:47.000 It would just, the salt would stay.
02:28:48.000 It would kill everything else.
02:28:49.000 It would just erode.
02:28:50.000 It's like, I don't think that's exactly what rust is, but it would turn into some sort of fucked up chemical compound that isn't grass.
02:28:57.000 Like a hard water.
02:28:58.000 It would kind of poison it.
02:28:59.000 It would be a higher salt content than the plant wants to exist on.
02:29:03.000 And I think that would be the case with a lot of stuff that doesn't live in the ocean, right?
02:29:09.000 So you'd have to figure out a way to get that salt out.
02:29:11.000 But once you did, that water would be super valuable.
02:29:14.000 Like, we're always low on water.
02:29:15.000 And we have too much of it now.
02:29:17.000 Start sucking it out of the ocean.
02:29:18.000 Just use our own need to...
02:29:22.000 Like, we have a crazy need to use stuff, you know?
02:29:26.000 A constant need.
02:29:29.000 We have a constant need for consumption.
02:29:31.000 So let's consume the water in the ocean.
02:29:32.000 Suck it out.
02:29:33.000 They do it.
02:29:34.000 It's just very expensive.
02:29:36.000 They do it in San Diego.
02:29:37.000 I think there's a saltwater plant or something.
02:29:39.000 Yeah, we just gotta get better at that.
02:29:41.000 See, I need a better process for it.
02:29:43.000 Yeah, see, everybody's concentrating all the money is in robot fuck dolls and not spending any time working on this water problem.
02:29:48.000 Elon Musk, get on top of this.
02:29:50.000 Elon!
02:29:51.000 Bro!
02:29:52.000 Bro, you gotta figure this out, Elon.
02:29:55.000 It could be done.
02:29:56.000 And cancer.
02:29:57.000 Do cancer first.
02:29:59.000 I think cancer can be severely mitigated in some circumstances by diet.
02:30:03.000 And I think that's the thing to concentrate on first before a pill, Brian.
02:30:09.000 That's a problem.
02:30:09.000 CRISPR. CRISPR. Imagine if there was a way you could just eat shit all day and be jacked.
02:30:14.000 Like Jeremiah Watkins.
02:30:16.000 No, poor Jeremiah.
02:30:17.000 Don't even say that.
02:30:19.000 30 pounds.
02:30:21.000 Well, let's explain to everybody what you're talking about.
02:30:24.000 So we do the Kill Tony show, and Jeremiah Watkins and Tony Hinchcliffe kind of copied the Tom Zegura formula, but backwards.
02:30:33.000 To see how much weight they can gain in a month.
02:30:36.000 Tony did the, like, working out and trying to gain muscle weight, where Jeremiah just ate like shit for 30 days and gained 30 pounds in 30 days, where Tony only gained 2.5 pounds, I think it was.
02:30:51.000 Yeah, it says just over 3 pounds.
02:30:54.000 Yeah.
02:30:55.000 Yeah, 30 pounds to Tony Hinchcliffe, who gained just over 3 pounds.
02:30:59.000 Jeremiah will now get to host Kill Tony's show and keep his hair.
02:31:02.000 Yeah, the bullshit was the bet, though.
02:31:03.000 And one of the most funniest nights I've had in a long time was you calling out Tony about how it's not fair if Jeremiah lost, he had to shave his head.
02:31:13.000 Well, this is what I said.
02:31:14.000 I said, this is not an even bet.
02:31:16.000 Like, you guys should both be betting the same thing.
02:31:18.000 Like, if Jeremiah wins, all he does is get to sit down in a seat for, like, a day.
02:31:25.000 He gets to host an episode of the podcast.
02:31:27.000 He gets to sit in a seat, so everybody knows it's funny.
02:31:29.000 But if he won...
02:31:32.000 Or if you want, he has to shave his fucking head.
02:31:35.000 Like, that's crazy.
02:31:36.000 And Jeremiah has nice, long hair.
02:31:39.000 Where Tony has really short hair, would have grown back in like a day.
02:31:41.000 No, no, no.
02:31:42.000 Jeremiah's hair seems like kind of a part of who he is.
02:31:45.000 Yes, absolutely.
02:31:45.000 He's got silly hair.
02:31:47.000 He's this big, silly fella.
02:31:49.000 And he likes his haircut.
02:31:52.000 But he was willing to do it.
02:31:54.000 And I told Tony, I was like, fuck that.
02:31:56.000 I go, look, dude, you guys have to have the same bet.
02:31:58.000 I go, why are you scared to shave your head?
02:31:59.000 It'd be amazing.
02:32:00.000 And I go, how about this?
02:32:01.000 How about even better?
02:32:01.000 You don't have to shave your head.
02:32:02.000 You have to wear lipstick on stage for a year.
02:32:04.000 Tony said that.
02:32:05.000 What?
02:32:06.000 Didn't Tony bring it up?
02:32:07.000 No, I said, that was my joke.
02:32:11.000 You don't remember what I did.
02:32:12.000 I said it, and then after I was trying to force him to do it because he didn't want to do it, I go, you know what's fucked up?
02:32:17.000 It was Tony's idea.
02:32:19.000 I just threw him under the bridge.
02:32:20.000 I was like, I don't know why you want to wear lipstick, man.
02:32:22.000 This is weird.
02:32:23.000 Oh my God, I thought he really did.
02:32:25.000 No, no, no, no.
02:32:27.000 Do you remember I was saying that and everybody was dying laughing?
02:32:30.000 The reason why everybody was dying laughing is because they knew I was just fucking with him.
02:32:33.000 I was like, it was his idea, which is so weird.
02:32:37.000 No, but the idea was you would have to go on stage, and then once you're on stage, you have to put lipstick on, or we would decide that you had to have it on when you walked out to the crowd.
02:32:47.000 Either or.
02:32:47.000 We didn't decide.
02:32:49.000 And then you could take it off after 15 minutes.
02:32:51.000 So if you were doing a headliner set somewhere, and you're doing an hour, for the first 15 minutes, you're wearing makeup.
02:32:56.000 So I said, but here, the thing about that beautiful red lipstick is that it would make you concentrate On a joke about why the fuck you were willing to make a bet, how you lost the bet, and then rationalize away about nothing wrong.
02:33:14.000 How come chapstick's okay, but lipstick ain't?
02:33:17.000 How come girls get to wear lipstick, bro?
02:33:19.000 What the fuck are we doing, man?
02:33:21.000 What is this?
02:33:22.000 That would have been so funny if he had to wear lipstick for a year.
02:33:25.000 It would have been hilarious.
02:33:27.000 I told him I would do it too.
02:33:30.000 Yeah, you go.
02:33:31.000 Yeah, I said I'd do it.
02:33:32.000 I said I'll do it too.
02:33:33.000 Come on, we'll all do it together.
02:33:34.000 Don't be scared.
02:33:35.000 Take a bet.
02:33:36.000 It's not a hard bet.
02:33:38.000 It's funny.
02:33:40.000 You'd have to have the lipstick ears photos every time you're on stage.
02:33:44.000 And this is what you have.
02:33:45.000 You have a package of wet wipes you bring on stage and a dry white towel and everybody knows.
02:33:52.000 You have 15 minutes of lipstick time.
02:33:54.000 You might grow to like it.
02:33:56.000 You might start getting your nails did and everything.
02:33:59.000 You definitely could come up with bits from it.
02:34:02.000 It could be possible.
02:34:03.000 And it would be fun for people to go along with.
02:34:08.000 But Tony can't handle that.
02:34:10.000 Tony's scared.
02:34:11.000 I feel like he's scared, right?
02:34:13.000 I think he should at least shave his head.
02:34:16.000 He should have shaved his head.
02:34:17.000 He should have had a deal.
02:34:18.000 Obviously, he has way more beautiful hair than I do.
02:34:22.000 But I feel like if I had good hair, I'd shave it off because I knew it would come back.
02:34:27.000 Tony has super short hair.
02:34:28.000 That's not Tony Hinchcliffe, man.
02:34:29.000 You son of a bitch.
02:34:30.000 That's Eddie Izzard.
02:34:31.000 Is Eddie Izzard living as a woman now?
02:34:38.000 Someone told me that.
02:34:39.000 Oh, really?
02:34:40.000 Yep.
02:34:40.000 Yeah.
02:34:41.000 Well, it's not necessarily living as a woman.
02:34:44.000 Still looks like Eddie Izzard with lipstick and a dress.
02:34:47.000 I don't know.
02:34:49.000 Eddie Izzard will have my respect for all his days because Eddie Izzard ran a marathon a day with no training all around Ireland.
02:35:03.000 Do you know about that thing?
02:35:05.000 Dude, he didn't even prepare for it.
02:35:05.000 No.
02:35:08.000 He didn't even prepare for it.
02:35:09.000 Did he finish him?
02:35:10.000 Yes.
02:35:10.000 He did it all.
02:35:12.000 Wow.
02:35:12.000 He rode a marathon a day for like four weeks or something crazy, right?
02:35:16.000 Wasn't it?
02:35:17.000 Dude, his feet were literally falling apart.
02:35:20.000 Like they would show them cleaning up his feet and taking care of his skin.
02:35:24.000 It was just torn to pieces, man.
02:35:26.000 It was just straight, raw mental toughness and a resolve that...
02:35:33.000 I mean, you think about him, you think about him as a comedian, a funny guy, a thoughtful guy, and he had that odd thing that he was doing where he was wearing women's clothes and all that stuff.
02:35:44.000 27 marathons in 27 days.
02:35:46.000 Yeah, you don't you don't really know what that guy's about until you watch this documentary that you can watch online.
02:35:54.000 What is it?
02:35:55.000 Is there a name for it where people can search it?
02:35:58.000 It's amazing man.
02:36:00.000 You'll find it.
02:36:02.000 So What he did was I don't I don't even remember what the charity was.
02:36:07.000 Do you remember what the charity was?
02:36:09.000 It was some sort of a charity if he did the 27 marathons.
02:36:13.000 I think he only took a couple days off.
02:36:16.000 Here and there, there were days where he literally couldn't walk.
02:36:20.000 I feel like he did this twice.
02:36:22.000 To Jesus Christ!
02:36:23.000 This says he did 43 marathons in 51 days.
02:36:26.000 Oh my god.
02:36:27.000 What?
02:36:28.000 That might be the new thing.
02:36:30.000 He did it again.
02:36:31.000 I bet it was.
02:36:33.000 Marathon man.
02:36:34.000 Oh my god.
02:36:37.000 So he did it before, he did less, and then he came back and did it again.
02:36:41.000 Somebody told me about it a few years ago, but it was after the fact.
02:36:45.000 I didn't know he's done it twice.
02:36:46.000 Guy's a fucking animal.
02:36:48.000 That's crazy.
02:36:48.000 He's an animal.
02:36:49.000 I mean, that's just crazy.
02:36:51.000 But then I read something unrelated.
02:36:54.000 I read something that he was living as a woman, but that might not He might just feel like wearing a dress that day.
02:37:02.000 He's Eddie Izzard.
02:37:04.000 You run 53 marathons, whatever the fuck he did, you can do whatever you want, dude.
02:37:07.000 Maybe his dick fell off.
02:37:08.000 He did this in 2016, and then the first one was in 2009. Ah, okay, that makes sense.
02:37:13.000 Because the 2009 one I think I found out about around 2012 or something like that, I remember watching it thinking, that's a kind of...
02:37:24.000 Mental toughness that very few people have.
02:37:27.000 I don't think I have it.
02:37:28.000 To run that many marathons in that many days?
02:37:30.000 Not even one.
02:37:31.000 You might have to force yourself into that.
02:37:34.000 Two in the last day.
02:37:35.000 Two in the last day.
02:37:36.000 Jesus Christ.
02:37:39.000 What?
02:37:39.000 He ran a double marathon on the last day.
02:37:42.000 So that was the toughest day of my life.
02:37:44.000 Holy shit, dude.
02:37:46.000 Day five, he had to take off to go to the hospital.
02:37:47.000 So he had to make up one.
02:37:49.000 Oh my god.
02:37:50.000 He had to go to the hospital to get his kidneys checked out.
02:37:52.000 So on day 27, I ran my 26th and my 27th marathon.
02:37:56.000 Double marathon on the last day.
02:37:59.000 So that was the toughest day of my life.
02:38:00.000 I'm telling you, man, that is not a regular person.
02:38:03.000 A guy who's not like a Cam Haynes type guy who's in shape who can just do...
02:38:07.000 Like, Cam Haynes can run a marathon a day and it's not hard.
02:38:10.000 Like, if he...
02:38:11.000 No bullshit.
02:38:11.000 If he wanted to go and do 27 marathons in 27 days, he'd be like, yeah, I've done that already.
02:38:16.000 He could just do it.
02:38:18.000 He can go do that.
02:38:19.000 But...
02:38:21.000 Eddie Izzard wasn't planning for that.
02:38:25.000 He didn't get in shape before he did it.
02:38:27.000 Unless he did the second time.
02:38:29.000 I might be wrong about the second time, but the first time he did it, he didn't get in shape for it.
02:38:35.000 And to see him run in those 27 marathons, it's all just mental toughness.
02:38:40.000 He just forced his body to keep moving.
02:38:42.000 What does it say here?
02:38:44.000 He's going into politics in 2020. Oh shit, king of the world, Eddie Izzard.
02:38:47.000 Maybe he's the first transgender president.
02:38:51.000 If he decided to go for it, eh, we'll fix that.
02:38:56.000 Well, president of where they live.
02:38:58.000 He also did all these marathons in South Africa where the weather was a bit hotter than it would be in the UK. Yeah, listen to the Antwerp music and ducking crocodiles.
02:39:09.000 Wow.
02:39:10.000 So he's gonna go into a...
02:39:14.000 Yeah, his reasoning here, he says, that's why I pulled that up.
02:39:17.000 Wow.
02:39:18.000 So he's doing these races just to get people to pay attention?
02:39:21.000 Yeah, it's the messages behind.
02:39:22.000 He's not really into racing.
02:39:23.000 That's interesting.
02:39:25.000 Wow.
02:39:29.000 Interesting.
02:39:30.000 He's a very thoughtful guy.
02:39:32.000 But what impressed me the most is not just the words that he strings together and how he says things, which is always impressive.
02:39:39.000 But someone who can do that.
02:39:41.000 That is not normal.
02:39:43.000 That's extraordinary.
02:39:46.000 Because it would be extraordinary for someone who's in great shape.
02:39:51.000 Like a person who is like a...
02:39:54.000 You know, world-class, like that Courtney Doe Walter lady.
02:39:57.000 If she ran 27 marathons in 27 days, it would still be remarkably impressive.
02:40:02.000 It is just the amount of time that you have to spend running every day for 27 days.
02:40:07.000 That shit is impressive.
02:40:09.000 That's just impressive.
02:40:13.000 But to do it when you're just a guy who's a comic, and you're not even in shape.
02:40:19.000 He wasn't even thin.
02:40:21.000 He had like a bit of a belly.
02:40:24.000 He wasn't lean by any stretch of the imagination.
02:40:26.000 He didn't look like a runner.
02:40:28.000 Does he still do comedy?
02:40:29.000 I don't know, man.
02:40:31.000 I feel like I haven't seen or heard about him in a long time.
02:40:34.000 I think we're guilty over here of not paying attention to what happens in comedy anywhere else in the world.
02:40:39.000 Somebody has to beat me over the head with somebody that's really funny from somewhere else for me to pay attention.
02:40:43.000 I just saw that they have Roast Battle now in the UK. There he goes.
02:40:47.000 Eddie Izzard, Believe Me Tour.
02:40:50.000 Not that it matters, but find out if he's a woman.
02:40:52.000 The show's in French.
02:40:53.000 Whoa.
02:40:54.000 Of course.
02:40:55.000 He's a genius.
02:40:56.000 The guy's doing shows in French.
02:40:58.000 The show is in French.
02:40:59.000 The show is in French.
02:41:01.000 Fuck, man.
02:41:03.000 I'm gonna go there with those Google Pixel headsets.
02:41:07.000 Yeah, man.
02:41:08.000 That's where originally I got the idea of us being able to communicate with plants.
02:41:13.000 I figured this is step one.
02:41:14.000 Step one is the Google Pixel earbuds that let you listen to someone speak Spanish in real time translated to English.
02:41:20.000 Step two is they figure out some sort of a universal code that the plant world is willing to accept.
02:41:25.000 And we start communicating back and forth with the plant world.
02:41:28.000 Step three, they develop a headset, some sort of a neural interface with a human being when they put this thing on and you go out into the forest and you communicate with the trees.
02:41:38.000 Their frequency.
02:41:39.000 I see that.
02:41:40.000 100%.
02:41:40.000 Why not?
02:41:41.000 All I have to do is get them to...
02:41:43.000 They're obviously communicating with themselves.
02:41:45.000 There's some form of communication between plants.
02:41:47.000 This has been proven.
02:41:48.000 There's a bunch of weird shit they do.
02:41:50.000 Like, they change the way they taste based on whether or not they hear things going on in the distance.
02:41:55.000 They'll hear someone eating them in the distance, and they'll change the way they taste.
02:41:58.000 They catch things downwind.
02:42:00.000 Like, the smell of them getting consumed by another animal will change the way they taste.
02:42:04.000 Like, that was the case with the Keisha bush and giraffes.
02:42:09.000 They found out giraffes that were eating these acacia bushes upwind, when they would eat them, the smell of them consuming them would come downwind and it would change the flavor profile of all these other trees.
02:42:24.000 They would turn nasty tasting to avoid the giraffes from eating them.
02:42:28.000 That's crazy.
02:42:29.000 Dude.
02:42:30.000 So then they figured out that they could play the sound of caterpillars munching leaves right next to the tree, and it would have the same effect.
02:42:40.000 Wow.
02:42:41.000 Yeah, so somehow or another, they know what it sounds like when they're eating.
02:42:47.000 I wonder if they try everything, like, we're going to have sex with this tree and just see what happens, or...
02:42:52.000 Tickle the tree.
02:42:53.000 Vegans are super not happy about plants being alive.
02:42:56.000 I'm thinking.
02:42:57.000 You bring it up, they get so triggered.
02:42:59.000 It is one of the most triggering things is plant intelligence research.
02:43:03.000 Because they want to claim moral superiority.
02:43:05.000 They want to claim that, you know, la la la, I can't hear the plant.
02:43:09.000 That cabbage is screaming when you pull it out of the ground, you fuck.
02:43:13.000 Screaming for its family, the interconnectedness with the mycelium and the soil.
02:43:18.000 It's beautiful.
02:43:20.000 Yeah.
02:43:21.000 But I think what's going to fix veganism, honestly, is that robot meat.
02:43:27.000 That artificial lab-created meat.
02:43:29.000 That's going to fix it.
02:43:31.000 People are going to realize, like, oh, you're just healthier this way.
02:43:33.000 Your body has more vitality.
02:43:35.000 It's going to be extinct.
02:43:37.000 Veganism is going to be extinct in the future.
02:43:39.000 Yeah, as soon as they come up with super ethical meat, there's going to be no reason for it.
02:43:43.000 Everybody's going to go, well, dude, I feel so much better when I eat steak.
02:43:47.000 It's just, fuck, like, it's, it's, there's obviously a reason why we're having all this debate.
02:43:56.000 It's not like it's crystal clear one way or another.
02:43:58.000 It's like, it's not good that an animal die so that you live.
02:44:01.000 That's not good.
02:44:02.000 That doesn't feel good.
02:44:03.000 But it's not good if they get overpopulated either.
02:44:05.000 Again, that's not good either.
02:44:07.000 You know, I was reading this thing about, there's an animal called an awadad.
02:44:11.000 It's like a sheep.
02:44:13.000 And they imported them to Texas a long time ago, and they don't taste good to eat, apparently.
02:44:22.000 Or maybe a lot of people are eating them the wrong way.
02:44:25.000 So because of that, they don't hunt them a lot.
02:44:27.000 Or if they do hunt them, it's not like the same way they hunt white-tailed deer or something like that.
02:44:31.000 And they live in these, like, difficult-to-get-to-remote parts of, like, West Texas and shit.
02:44:36.000 And so then some of them, the ranchers have taken to, like, firing guns out of helicopters to get rid of them.
02:44:43.000 Like, this is crazy.
02:44:46.000 Like, you have animals that you're hunting with helicopters that you brought over here from another place.
02:44:51.000 What do they look like?
02:44:52.000 Just like...
02:44:53.000 They're cool-looking, man.
02:44:55.000 They look like some sort of a Star Wars-type...
02:44:58.000 Goat creature.
02:45:00.000 Sheep creature.
02:45:01.000 They have amazing horns.
02:45:02.000 They have these enormous horns.
02:45:05.000 But apparently they just can't figure out a way to make them taste good.
02:45:08.000 This is from everybody that I know that's tried to eat them.
02:45:10.000 Give it to an Asian and they'll figure it out.
02:45:12.000 It's probably a good call.
02:45:14.000 I wonder if this...
02:45:15.000 There must be somebody that thinks they taste good and knows what to do.
02:45:17.000 But pull up a picture of an Awadad sheep.
02:45:19.000 It's like...
02:45:20.000 What were you looking for?
02:45:22.000 I have an Awasi sheep.
02:45:23.000 No, no.
02:45:24.000 It's called Awadad.
02:45:26.000 They're like one of the few animals that are like universally thought to taste like shit.
02:45:30.000 Wow.
02:45:31.000 From people that hunt them.
02:45:32.000 But they're here and they have to control their population.
02:45:33.000 So what do you do about them?
02:45:35.000 What do you do about wild pigs?
02:45:37.000 What do you do about animals that get to the...
02:45:38.000 Unless you want to let predators loose.
02:45:40.000 That's it right there.
02:45:41.000 Look at that picture.
02:45:42.000 Oh, that's a stone sheep.
02:45:43.000 No, it's Owadad.
02:45:45.000 It's like...
02:45:45.000 How'd you spell it?
02:45:47.000 A-W-A-D-A-D? Yeah.
02:45:47.000 Ow.
02:45:50.000 Well, they have a picture of those fuckers.
02:45:53.000 Awadad Hunt, Texas.
02:45:55.000 Type in that because they're very popular to hunt in Texas.
02:45:58.000 But I don't think a lot of people...
02:46:00.000 Ooh, Awadad Hunt, Texas.
02:46:03.000 Yeah.
02:46:05.000 Those are deer.
02:46:08.000 That's not the same thing.
02:46:10.000 How do you spell that Awadad word?
02:46:12.000 None of these things are the Awadad.
02:46:14.000 Awadad has like big, thick horns.
02:46:18.000 Say it to Siri and see what she comes up with.
02:46:21.000 Well, either way.
02:46:25.000 What would you do with all the...
02:46:27.000 If we did figure out a way to never have an animal suffer again, but we could all eat meat, what would you do with all the animals that existed?
02:46:35.000 That would be a giant dilemma.
02:46:37.000 Like, how many people would say, yeah, you know what, that's all well and good, but I want a cow that just got killed.
02:46:42.000 I want a real cow that's really alive.
02:46:44.000 It makes me think and feel better.
02:46:48.000 Is that it?
02:46:52.000 That's some sort of feral sheep.
02:46:54.000 That's weird that they don't have Aladad.
02:46:57.000 Maybe try a different spelling.
02:47:00.000 Aladad Sheep Hunt Texas.
02:47:03.000 Anyway.
02:47:06.000 The delicate balance of, like, prey and predator.
02:47:09.000 Like, how do you manage that?
02:47:11.000 If you have certain populations of these animals just running loose.
02:47:14.000 Somebody sent me a video, that's it.
02:47:16.000 I just took the word off.
02:47:17.000 It just took sheep, Texas.
02:47:18.000 Go back to that last one you had.
02:47:19.000 That's exactly what it looks like.
02:47:21.000 Look at that thing.
02:47:22.000 It looks like the devil.
02:47:23.000 Right?
02:47:24.000 Those horns?
02:47:25.000 That's like some Satan shit from Damien.
02:47:28.000 It's weird that meat is not just meat, though.
02:47:30.000 You can't just take that leg off and eat it.
02:47:33.000 Nope.
02:47:34.000 It's definitely different.
02:47:35.000 Some people say goat is delicious, but I think it really depends upon the diet of the goat.
02:47:40.000 Some goats, they eat weird shit and they taste terrible.
02:47:44.000 And some goats, they eat delicious plants and you eat them and I bet it tastes as good as anything you're ever going to eat.
02:47:51.000 It varies so much between the people that say it tastes amazing versus the people that say it tastes terrible.
02:47:55.000 That's a perfect example of one.
02:47:57.000 I mean, that looks like something from Star Wars.
02:47:59.000 Yeah.
02:47:59.000 Look at that.
02:48:00.000 It's crazy looking.
02:48:02.000 But what would you do?
02:48:03.000 So if we did figure out a way to have all of our meat come out of a laboratory so nothing has to die, what do we do about all the animals?
02:48:13.000 Zoo.
02:48:13.000 Zoo.
02:48:15.000 That's not right.
02:48:16.000 That's even crazier.
02:48:17.000 Like, to not have a ranch instead of have a zoo?
02:48:21.000 Animal Island.
02:48:22.000 Dude, that's it.
02:48:23.000 That's the island we were talking about.
02:48:24.000 We ship all the animals to like some giant, like New Zealand.
02:48:28.000 We make a deal with New Zealand.
02:48:30.000 We're going to bring over lions, bro.
02:48:31.000 What did I say with no predators?
02:48:33.000 Isn't that like Jurassic Park, basically?
02:48:35.000 Yeah.
02:48:35.000 Exactly.
02:48:36.000 Yeah.
02:48:37.000 You'd have to bring over predators too.
02:48:39.000 You'd have to create a wild ecosystem, just a fully wild ecosystem.
02:48:45.000 There's so many people by the year 2099 that we have occupied every single stretch of the world and everything looks like New York City except one continent which is like Central Park for the world.
02:48:58.000 So the world is now one enormous city but we've maintained like the Amazon.
02:49:03.000 The Amazon rainforest is what we cherish.
02:49:05.000 That's our last connection to Mother Earth before we completely Slip in to some symbiotic relationship with computers.
02:49:13.000 We're allowed to visit this island in a little hamster ball, so.
02:49:16.000 Yeah, dude, just like Jurassic Park.
02:49:17.000 This could be real.
02:49:19.000 This could be real.
02:49:20.000 I mean, it sounds crazy, but if you're talking about 500 years from now, we literally could have occupied every single part of the earth, except for one place.
02:49:29.000 We literally could make some sort of a deal.
02:49:32.000 Nobody goes to the Amazon.
02:49:34.000 This could be a great science fiction movie.
02:49:36.000 Feel free to steal it.
02:49:37.000 Dark mirror.
02:49:38.000 I think we need to start building underwater.
02:49:40.000 Underwater cities.
02:49:41.000 Fuck that, dude.
02:49:42.000 Can you imagine you're underwater and you see a little crack in the wall and you're coming home and you're on edibles and you're so tired but you have to be at work in three hours.
02:49:50.000 And you look and you see a little, just a small crack in the world.
02:49:54.000 And you go, do I talk about this crack?
02:49:56.000 Maybe it's just a flaw in the glass.
02:49:58.000 It just looks like a crack.
02:49:59.000 And then as you're going back home at the end of your shift, it looks just a little bigger.
02:50:04.000 See, I'd rather do this than Mars.
02:50:06.000 I'd trust underwater cracks more than going in a Tesla to Mars.
02:50:10.000 Just the feeling of all the walls exploding instantaneously and billions of gallons of ocean water crushing your very existence instantaneously.
02:50:23.000 It's over.
02:50:23.000 Boom!
02:50:25.000 Just a smash of the ocean hundred feet deep around you crushing everything as soon as that crack gets big enough.
02:50:35.000 I'm freaking me out.
02:50:37.000 So you would do Mars?
02:50:39.000 No, I'm not doing any of them.
02:50:40.000 They can go fuck themselves.
02:50:42.000 Would you even get in the submarine?
02:50:43.000 Nope.
02:50:44.000 No desire.
02:50:44.000 I went to see Nemo at Walt Disney.
02:50:47.000 That was a fun ride.
02:50:48.000 Great for little kids.
02:50:51.000 Finding Nemo.
02:50:52.000 You go out in the little submarine and they have a little show they do for you.
02:50:55.000 It's wonderful.
02:50:56.000 That's about as good as it gets.
02:50:57.000 That noise.
02:50:58.000 How about that one lady who was a reporter who went in the guy's submarine and he killed her and chopped her up?
02:51:05.000 Decapitated her.
02:51:05.000 Like, what the fuck?
02:51:06.000 Can you imagine if you're a lady and you go out there and you're looking to do a story about a guy who made his own submarine and then somewhere along the line he kills you and chops you up and throws you in the ocean.
02:51:18.000 You've got to think, like, when you're going to interview a guy who made a submarine, there's no way this guy's going to chop me up.
02:51:23.000 That's not going to happen.
02:51:24.000 He knows that everybody knows I'm going to visit him.
02:51:28.000 I kind of believe his excuse a little but then I you know that where the the hatch just closed on her head Yeah, but you're supposed to tell people yeah, you're not supposed to chop her up and throw in the ocean and pretend nothing happened You just tell everybody is a horrific accident and you feel terrible and you get punished and Fuck man Poor lady.
02:51:49.000 11 days to think about it, though.
02:51:51.000 He had 11 days?
02:51:53.000 I'm sort of reading it right now as you guys are saying it.
02:51:55.000 Her torso was found 11 days later.
02:51:59.000 At first he said she died of carbon monoxide poisoning.
02:52:02.000 He previously had said the thing that hit her head was a 150-pound hatch door.
02:52:08.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.
02:52:09.000 Could you imagine that?
02:52:10.000 Oh, my God.
02:52:12.000 That makes sense.
02:52:13.000 Hatch door hitting your head makes sense.
02:52:16.000 But either way, fuck submarines.
02:52:18.000 Dude, fuck submarines.
02:52:20.000 Right?
02:52:21.000 Do you have any desire to go bungee jumping?
02:52:23.000 Nope.
02:52:24.000 Good for you, son.
02:52:24.000 I'm scared of heights.
02:52:25.000 I don't want any of that.
02:52:27.000 Fuck all that, right?
02:52:28.000 The squirrel suit doesn't sound terribly...
02:52:30.000 What?
02:52:30.000 It sounds kind of fun.
02:52:31.000 You would do the squirrel suit?
02:52:32.000 I wouldn't do it.
02:52:33.000 It sounds fun, though.
02:52:34.000 I want to fly.
02:52:34.000 Make sure you let me know when you're going to do that so I can prepare for your absence forever.
02:52:40.000 It's going to be anytime soon.
02:52:42.000 Life insurance policy on you.
02:52:43.000 Don't let Andy Stump fucking call you at 2 o'clock in the morning.
02:52:46.000 All lit up.
02:52:47.000 Trying to get you to jump off the Alps.
02:52:48.000 But if he ever gets a suit with some jets on it, I might be.
02:52:51.000 What if that goes wrong?
02:52:52.000 What if that's like the Tesla door handles that won't open up?
02:52:55.000 Come on, man.
02:52:56.000 Don't do it.
02:52:57.000 I don't even want to parasail anymore.
02:52:59.000 Yeah.
02:53:00.000 Hang gliding is...
02:53:01.000 I've heard of people getting shot up in a hang glider 300 feet and just a little spout of air that they can't control.
02:53:08.000 And you're fucked on that.
02:53:09.000 Fuck all that.
02:53:10.000 People are crazy.
02:53:12.000 All that for thrills.
02:53:14.000 For wild thrills.
02:53:16.000 God damn it.
02:53:18.000 We're going to have flying cars though.
02:53:20.000 That's another thing they're looking into.
02:53:21.000 There's a lot of people that are seriously considering flying cars right now.
02:53:24.000 I think it's a matter of time before they lock that in.
02:53:26.000 I think it's going to be automated pilots, or I mean driverless cars first, then flying.
02:53:33.000 I think you're totally right.
02:53:34.000 I think they're going to have the same sort of lane departure warnings and all the stuff that keeps cars from crashing into each other, the correct.
02:53:40.000 And then people are just going to say, well, as long as they're autonomous, it actually makes it more efficient to use the entire 3D space and not have the landscape marred with all these hard roads.
02:53:54.000 I haven't been a bummer today, have I? I feel like I'm freaking...
02:53:57.000 I'm freaking me out.
02:53:59.000 I don't know why I'm more serious about this shit heading into 2018, but it just seems ominous.
02:54:05.000 Dum, dum, dum.
02:54:07.000 Alright, I gotta pee so bad we have to wrap this up.
02:54:09.000 I've been holding it in.
02:54:10.000 Yeah?
02:54:11.000 I drank too much coffee before this one.
02:54:14.000 It's still almost three hours.
02:54:15.000 Yeah, almost three hours.
02:54:16.000 All right, Brian Redband, tell everybody where you are.
02:54:18.000 How can everybody mock Tony Hinchcliffe?
02:54:21.000 They can contact him at Tony Hinchcliffe on Twitter.
02:54:24.000 Yeah, that's right.
02:54:24.000 And give Jeremiah Watkins some love.
02:54:26.000 And we'll be doing his Stand Up on the Spot show next Tuesday in the Belly Room.
02:54:31.000 It's a fun show.
02:54:32.000 People make shit up.
02:54:33.000 Jeremiah's an awesome person.
02:54:34.000 And your show with him is on every Monday.
02:54:38.000 Every Monday.
02:54:39.000 And Jeremiah's going to host the next one.
02:54:40.000 And we're bringing Kill Tony to Houston February 1st and Dallas the 2nd.
02:54:45.000 It's a fun show.
02:54:45.000 Go out there, support.
02:54:47.000 Much respect.
02:54:48.000 Much love.
02:54:48.000 Red Band on Twitter and Instagram and all that good stuff.
02:54:53.000 And we'll be back really soon, like in a few minutes, with Jimmy Smith, formerly of Bellator.
02:54:58.000 He's here now.
02:54:59.000 Oh, bye.