The Joe Rogan Experience - February 01, 2018


Joe Rogan Experience #1072 - Joey Diaz


Episode Stats

Length

3 hours and 6 minutes

Words per Minute

189.14989

Word Count

35,267

Sentence Count

3,787

Misogynist Sentences

125


Summary

In this episode, we talk about what it was like to grow up in Cuba and the crazy things they did to their kids to get them to where they are now. We also talk about Lomachenko's background in boxing and how he became one of the most technically gifted athletes in the history of the sport. We finish the episode with a little bit of UFC history and talk about some of the craziest things that have happened in the UFC in the past and the future of the UFC, including the return of Luke Rockhold to UFC 246. We also have a special guest on the show this week, our good friend and long-time friend Joe Pesci, who has a great story about how he got into the UFC and why he thinks it's the greatest sport in the world. If you don't mind, we'll do it on Español, so you can listen to it with subtitles in Spanish! Thanks for listening and Good Luck! -Joe Pesci Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE to stay up to date with the latest UFC news and subscribe to our channel! Subscribe, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts and subscribe on your favorite streaming platform so you never miss an episode of The Ultimate Fighter or UFC streaming service! You can get exclusive ad-free version of the show wherever you get your favorite show! Thanks again for listening! Cheers, Cheers! Cheers. -Jon & Rory -Your Hosts: Joe, Rory Mcgregor, Rory, Rory, Jake, Jack, Jake, and Garrett, and Bryce, Tim, . Josh, Will, Matt, Ben, and Ben, John, Brian, , and Will, and much more! & much more!! Jon & Brett, Mike, and a special thanks to: , & Ben, Joe, - (and so much more... . . and more! -Jon, Ben, and the rest of the crew! and so much love you all will love you, Jon, too! ) Thank you so much for listening to this podcast, Jon and Jake, so much appreciate you all so much, thank you for your support and support you guys for making this podcast so much support you're amazing, so please leave us out there! Love ya'll can't get any better than this podcast better than you can do it!


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Say the story.
00:00:00.000 Say the story.
00:00:00.000 You did not show up, so I'm flying him out after Luke Rockhold.
00:00:04.000 I'm going to do a podcast with him with subtitles in Spanish, and I'm bringing him up here on Friday.
00:00:09.000 What?
00:00:10.000 Really?
00:00:10.000 Yeah, I've got a company to do it for me in Spanish with subtitles.
00:00:14.000 And then I'm going to bring him up here on Friday, and we're going to have a three-way about Cuba and what it was like to wrestle and the whole thing, if you don't mind.
00:00:22.000 Whoa.
00:00:22.000 I don't know if you'd mind.
00:00:24.000 So I'll do mine about subtitles just on Español.
00:00:27.000 Okay.
00:00:30.000 So no, we will not clash with you.
00:00:32.000 Dude, the three of us together would be the greatest podcast ever.
00:00:35.000 Yeah, because I can interpret and you would be, would be, it would be a real MMA. You could really talk about Underhooks and Russia.
00:00:44.000 Dude, that's a fantastic idea.
00:00:45.000 Early training in Cuba and where they shipped them, because they shipped you off when you were a young kid.
00:00:50.000 They do?
00:00:51.000 That's what a lot of people don't know.
00:00:52.000 Yeah, they look at you and they go, uh, Pelotero, you don't have a choice.
00:00:58.000 They look at you and they go, and that's it.
00:01:00.000 Now they take you to a certain age, or they either send you to Nicaragua or Russia.
00:01:07.000 And you train.
00:01:09.000 And that's why a lot of Cubans are judokas, because they go to Russia and learn judo.
00:01:15.000 Wow.
00:01:16.000 So he's going to tell you how they shipped them off.
00:01:19.000 And they don't just tell your mom, like, we're taking them tomorrow.
00:01:22.000 It's always been interesting to me because the Cubans and the Russians in particular were always thought of as being very technical.
00:01:29.000 Really the Russians.
00:01:31.000 Russians are super technical.
00:01:33.000 That was what a lot of people attributed George St. Pierre's success in wrestling.
00:01:37.000 You know, George didn't wrestle in college or in high school, but he trained with a bunch of Russian nationals in Montreal and apparently phenomenal wrestlers.
00:01:44.000 They have this incredible wrestling program.
00:01:46.000 When you see Nurmagomedov, the way he mauls people inside the octagon, like what in the fuck?
00:01:53.000 That is a perfect example of that style of super hard, super technical wrestling.
00:02:00.000 They're so good at it.
00:02:02.000 There's so many.
00:02:03.000 You see Lomachenko used to be a wrestler?
00:02:07.000 There's a video of Lomachenko.
00:02:08.000 It looks like he's doing sambo.
00:02:09.000 It looks like he's got a gi on.
00:02:12.000 And it's him and some other cat.
00:02:14.000 And he's like 11 years old or something like that.
00:02:16.000 So his father put him in everything.
00:02:19.000 His father made him...
00:02:20.000 You know who Lomachenko is, right?
00:02:21.000 Yes, yes, yes.
00:02:22.000 One of the best boxers ever.
00:02:23.000 Like, literally, one of the most technically beautiful to watch boxers that's ever lived.
00:02:28.000 But this guy used to wrestle, too.
00:02:30.000 Like, this is...
00:02:31.000 I don't think this is it.
00:02:32.000 Is it?
00:02:34.000 Does him...
00:02:34.000 Okay.
00:02:36.000 Is this him wrestling with somebody?
00:02:38.000 Yeah, this is one now where he can still do this shit.
00:02:41.000 This is pretty recent.
00:02:43.000 He showed some of his wrestling moves.
00:02:45.000 But the other one was him when he was a little boy.
00:02:47.000 He's really technical, man.
00:02:49.000 He knows how to wrestle.
00:02:50.000 This is legit.
00:02:52.000 Like when you see the way he's moving his body, he's not faking that.
00:02:54.000 He's done that a bunch of times.
00:02:57.000 And yeah, this is one when he's a little kid, man.
00:03:00.000 It's crazy.
00:03:01.000 It says Greco-Roman wrestling, but they're wearing a gi, so I'm not exactly sure what it is.
00:03:06.000 But he gets his kid...
00:03:09.000 And gets behind him and sends him for a ride.
00:03:11.000 So he's always been an amazing athlete.
00:03:15.000 I think there's something to that.
00:03:19.000 His father had an idea.
00:03:20.000 It's a crazy idea.
00:03:21.000 His father took him out of boxing and put him into dance for several years.
00:03:27.000 Ukrainian traditional dance style, apparently, they were talking about it.
00:03:31.000 One of those HBO shows, for like four years, I think it was the HBO show, but for four years, I think, he just danced.
00:03:37.000 Can you imagine that?
00:03:38.000 His father's like, you want to learn how to box?
00:03:40.000 You got to dance.
00:03:41.000 And now, nobody's got footwork.
00:03:44.000 Have you ever seen him, Joey?
00:03:46.000 Yes.
00:03:46.000 Have you seen his highlight reel?
00:03:48.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:03:48.000 It's insane.
00:03:49.000 It's insane.
00:03:50.000 Jamie, pull up a Lomachenko highlight reel.
00:03:52.000 It's funny you say that, because my daughter goes to ballet, and 80% of the class is Russian.
00:03:58.000 So I was thinking about it yesterday.
00:03:59.000 I was watching the movements, the last parade movement, and I'm like, Jesus Christ.
00:04:04.000 If people did ballet, could you...
00:04:06.000 And I was thinking of the GSP. Like, you know me, I'm like, GSP probably fucking does ballet.
00:04:11.000 Like, you know what I'm saying?
00:04:13.000 That's what people do.
00:04:14.000 It's great footwork.
00:04:16.000 This guy is the wizard of footwork.
00:04:18.000 It's crazy because he's right in front of you, but he's one step ahead of you at every turn.
00:04:23.000 He knows what you're going to do right while you're doing it.
00:04:26.000 He's moving in a way that you can't move.
00:04:28.000 He's in front of you and then he's not.
00:04:31.000 It's crazy.
00:04:32.000 He's one of the most technical boxers I've ever seen.
00:04:36.000 Just an amazing stylistic achievement, like what he can do with his body.
00:04:43.000 His style is totally unique.
00:04:45.000 I mean, a lot of guys have done it.
00:04:47.000 A lot of guys have moved in and out.
00:04:48.000 A lot of guys have done it.
00:04:49.000 But he's doing it at such a high level.
00:04:52.000 Such a high level that it makes people confused.
00:04:55.000 Guys quit in their corner.
00:04:56.000 They're like, what in the fuck?
00:04:58.000 And I really think a lot of it probably had to do with his father's cross-training.
00:05:02.000 And particularly with the dance.
00:05:04.000 I mean, think about how effortlessly he goes, like, steps around guys.
00:05:10.000 I mean, he's got some incredible control of his feet, but it makes sense that, like, you would learn how to move your feet in a specific way the way you learn how to move your hands in a specific way, right?
00:05:21.000 Like, think about a guy like Floyd Mayweather, right?
00:05:23.000 His hand combinations with his upper body, they're so precise.
00:05:27.000 It's like, da-da-da-da, right?
00:05:28.000 But with his legs, is he as precise?
00:05:31.000 Is he as precise moving with his legs as it is with his hands, or is he 60% or 70% or 80%?
00:05:37.000 Lomachenko is probably...
00:05:39.000 Perfectly proportioned for his style with his ability to move but also his ability to box and hit you well.
00:05:46.000 He's got both things going on at the same time with next level angles.
00:05:52.000 So that's what I was saying to you.
00:05:54.000 When you're young in Cuba, they pick you.
00:05:57.000 It's not like you wake up and go, I want to be a wrestler.
00:05:59.000 No, they look at you and go, you look like you could go wrestle.
00:06:03.000 And, like, what I was hearing back from them in the early 70s was, like, they just took you away from your family.
00:06:11.000 That was part of your training.
00:06:14.000 Then they put you and they go, we had no way you trained in, like, their army.
00:06:18.000 Have you talked to y'all about this?
00:06:20.000 Yeah.
00:06:21.000 Like, no, we've discussed what this thing is.
00:06:23.000 I already have graphics on the podcast.
00:06:26.000 Whoa.
00:06:26.000 So I figured that I'd put them up and we'll do a podcast in Spanish with fucking subtitles, like an English film, like a Gellini movie, whatever.
00:06:35.000 One of those movies people think are unique.
00:06:37.000 Okay, here you have it.
00:06:38.000 That would be genius.
00:06:39.000 Because his English is too rough.
00:06:41.000 And I know what he's trying to say and the frustration in his face.
00:06:45.000 He's trying to say, I love you!
00:06:47.000 Michael Bisping!
00:06:49.000 So now he did a tape the other day of him in Cuba waiting for Bisping in Cuba.
00:06:55.000 Bisping went to Cuba?
00:06:56.000 No.
00:06:58.000 Romero's back.
00:06:59.000 See if you can find it.
00:07:00.000 He's in Cuba, but what is the...
00:07:01.000 See if you can find it.
00:07:02.000 Michael Bisping!
00:07:03.000 I love you!
00:07:04.000 He's nuts.
00:07:06.000 He's nuts.
00:07:07.000 He's fighting Rockhold now.
00:07:08.000 Which is a tremendous fight on the 10th, right?
00:07:10.000 That's a crazy fight.
00:07:11.000 That's a crazy fight.
00:07:12.000 Very good fight.
00:07:12.000 It's a very good fight.
00:07:14.000 Rockhold, when he's on, is super dangerous.
00:07:16.000 You know, when Rockhold made one slip up against Bisping...
00:07:20.000 But, you know, fair play to Bisping.
00:07:22.000 He came into that fight regardless of where anybody ranked him.
00:07:26.000 You know, like how they felt his chances were.
00:07:29.000 He came in swing.
00:07:30.000 He had like, I think he had like 11 days notice.
00:07:32.000 Something like that.
00:07:34.000 How many days notice did Michael Bisping get when he fought Luke Rockhold?
00:07:38.000 I want to say it was something crazy low.
00:07:40.000 It wasn't much time.
00:07:41.000 You know, Luke Rockhold is very, very good.
00:07:45.000 He's a beast.
00:07:46.000 Very, very good.
00:07:47.000 The top game is insane.
00:07:49.000 Let me tell you something.
00:07:49.000 I think when he fought Michael Bisbee, I'm not going to lie to you.
00:07:51.000 I think his focus was a little off, maybe two in a way.
00:07:54.000 I think he was dating rock stars and hanging out in Hollywood.
00:07:58.000 I think he's not dating whatever anymore now.
00:08:00.000 He's just fucking, you know, when he beat Branch, he looked great.
00:08:05.000 But his jujitsu is great.
00:08:06.000 He has great kicks.
00:08:08.000 He's great with his hands, his movement.
00:08:10.000 Him against Yoel is going to be interesting.
00:08:12.000 He's got vicious kicks, man.
00:08:14.000 No, he's four and he's one, right?
00:08:17.000 So, Luke Rockroll is number one at 185 right now?
00:08:21.000 I believe so.
00:08:22.000 Yeah, I think he's number one contender.
00:08:23.000 Is he four?
00:08:24.000 Yeah.
00:08:25.000 It's a great fight.
00:08:25.000 And then you got Jacare's back in the mix.
00:08:27.000 Ooh, Jacare.
00:08:28.000 You know what's crazy?
00:08:30.000 Like, I always say to you, Like, oh, I don't mean to pronounce his name wrong, and then Ungayo, right?
00:08:36.000 Like, when he fought Steopik.
00:08:38.000 Ungano.
00:08:38.000 Ungano, when he fought my man, Immigrant Mentally, like a motherfucker.
00:08:42.000 Yeah, he hits hard and all that stuff like that, but now, that dude's still gonna be more dangerous now.
00:08:48.000 He's gonna fucking take that loss and come back a fucking machine.
00:08:52.000 You've got to think how crazy it is that he went from being a guy who was homeless to five years later fighting for the heavyweight title.
00:09:00.000 This is like a total amount of training.
00:09:02.000 Five years of MMA training fighting for the heavyweight title.
00:09:05.000 And he's the favorite.
00:09:07.000 He's the favorite over a guy who's already defended it twice.
00:09:11.000 I mean, it's crazy.
00:09:12.000 That's how talented he is.
00:09:14.000 That's how terrifying he is.
00:09:16.000 That's how special he is.
00:09:17.000 But a loss like that to a guy like that, like to a real champ like Stipe, that lets you realize where the top of the game is.
00:09:27.000 There's a few more things to learn.
00:09:30.000 There's a lot more days to get in in training.
00:09:32.000 But that guy's just begun.
00:09:33.000 He's just begun.
00:09:34.000 Yeah, he's just begun.
00:09:35.000 Five years ago, he didn't know shit!
00:09:37.000 He's way better now than he was two fights ago.
00:09:39.000 Yeah, I see the difference.
00:09:41.000 I see the difference in the way he moves.
00:09:42.000 When he fought Overeem, it was significantly different than when I saw him in his first and second fights.
00:09:48.000 His first and second fights, he was very good.
00:09:51.000 Just insanely strong.
00:09:53.000 He would hit guys with these combinations and clean technique too, man.
00:09:57.000 He's not just a physically strong guy, he's also very smart because he's learning to do everything mechanically very good.
00:10:06.000 It's not like a guy who's only been striking for like three or four years, so they look a little tight and weird, but if they land, they got a lot of power.
00:10:14.000 No, man, everything is clean.
00:10:17.000 Like you said, some digging those trenches, Jack.
00:10:19.000 Oh, dude.
00:10:20.000 All that type of work gets you tough, tough.
00:10:22.000 He's just a special athlete.
00:10:24.000 And if he keeps going, man, I mean, boy, that guy learning more.
00:10:29.000 Think about how little you learn in five years.
00:10:31.000 Most of these guys have...
00:10:32.000 Way more time in.
00:10:34.000 Way more time in wrestling.
00:10:35.000 Way more time in kickboxing.
00:10:37.000 The average guy, by the time he gets to the UFC, I would like to know what the number is of how many years of training and competing they have.
00:10:45.000 But it's got to be more than two.
00:10:48.000 He was right in the UFC and smashing people.
00:10:52.000 He has an amazing story, man.
00:10:54.000 It's an amazing story.
00:10:56.000 And for a lot of people, the way it ended is a good lesson for martial artists.
00:11:00.000 It's a good lesson.
00:11:02.000 See, even if you were an Ngannou fan, you're bummed out that he lost.
00:11:06.000 I appreciate that.
00:11:07.000 I'm an Ngannou fan too, but I'm more of a fan of mixed martial arts.
00:11:12.000 I'm a fan of an honest...
00:11:16.000 I want to know what it is.
00:11:19.000 What is this?
00:11:21.000 What's this contest right here?
00:11:23.000 What's actually going on here?
00:11:24.000 What's going on here is phenomenal athletic talent, massive potential, like super alpha athlete versus One of the toughest guys ever, who's been in the game longer, who knows more.
00:11:39.000 He's wrestled.
00:11:40.000 He's been fighting way more.
00:11:42.000 He's been in the trenches way more times.
00:11:44.000 He's had to dig deep.
00:11:44.000 He knows what it's like to be really hurt and tired in a fight.
00:11:48.000 See, I appreciate the strategy of, like, how do you go into fighting a guy, like...
00:11:52.000 Perfect strategy.
00:11:53.000 It was like Rocky against Mr. T. Yeah.
00:11:55.000 That's what it exactly was like.
00:11:57.000 So it was like...
00:11:58.000 Heart and fucking, a little smart, stay away from that punch.
00:12:02.000 It had to be, and I haven't watched the full fight.
00:12:05.000 I was working then.
00:12:06.000 I'm on the fucking stage.
00:12:08.000 My brother getting hit by Francis Ngannou with MMA gloves is the worst thing that can happen to a person.
00:12:14.000 He's terrifying.
00:12:15.000 And Stipe got cracked multiple times in that fight.
00:12:19.000 It's not like he didn't get hit.
00:12:21.000 He got cracked.
00:12:22.000 But he had made up his mind.
00:12:24.000 He was going nowhere.
00:12:25.000 He knew what to do.
00:12:27.000 He'd been there before.
00:12:28.000 That's an incredible lesson for the overall sport, for mixed martial arts in general.
00:12:36.000 And the lesson is...
00:12:38.000 Like, he figured out, like, he had, like, the craziest end-of-video game character ever, right?
00:12:43.000 Ngannou's, like, the big boss in a video game.
00:12:46.000 They're like, fuck, I gotta play against this guy?
00:12:48.000 That's Ngannou.
00:12:49.000 And Stipe figured out how to beat him, being 20-plus pounds lighter than him, you know, way less intimidating in terms of his physical presence, although Stipe's pretty fucking intimidating.
00:13:04.000 But Ngannou's so intimidating.
00:13:05.000 He's so next level.
00:13:07.000 265, natural, giant, crazy frame.
00:13:11.000 When you're next to Stipe, that's when you realize how big he is.
00:13:15.000 He's a big fella.
00:13:15.000 On TV, you don't look that big.
00:13:17.000 When you're next to him, you're like, this guy's a big fuck.
00:13:19.000 He's a big fuck.
00:13:20.000 Watch him walk around that.
00:13:21.000 His asset is his mind, though, Joe.
00:13:23.000 Yes, yes.
00:13:24.000 It's his mind.
00:13:24.000 Come on.
00:13:27.000 We talked about the Wikipedia page.
00:13:29.000 I told you, immigrant mentality with American ingenuity.
00:13:32.000 Listen, American ingenuity is fucking brilliant.
00:13:36.000 And with the immigrant mentality mixed, like let's say you're still an American, but your dad could have called you Steve.
00:13:42.000 No, you could still call him Stipe Miocik to remember where the fuck you came from.
00:13:47.000 You understand me?
00:13:48.000 His father came.
00:13:49.000 That's really weird.
00:13:50.000 Like the other night, you know, it was on, I almost called you Joe.
00:13:53.000 I hate calling you.
00:13:54.000 I almost called you to go, when was the last time you watched Bronx Tale?
00:13:58.000 Oh, you know what?
00:13:59.000 It's been on all week.
00:14:01.000 I watched it a year ago.
00:14:02.000 When he fucking finds them with the guns and he starts smacking the kids in the neighborhood, I still remember people's parents smacking kids in the neighborhood.
00:14:12.000 Wow.
00:14:13.000 Like, people's parents come in and go, what the fuck are you guys doing?
00:14:15.000 Get the fuck home, man.
00:14:17.000 One kid got a kick to the stomach, and the father punched the other kid, and nobody said dick.
00:14:22.000 Nobody said dick.
00:14:24.000 Dick!
00:14:24.000 No.
00:14:25.000 Like, I'm watching the biker scene.
00:14:27.000 When was the last...
00:14:28.000 Like, I haven't watched Bronx Tale in 20 years.
00:14:31.000 It's on AMC at 6.30.
00:14:32.000 When they locked the door, now you can't leave.
00:14:34.000 Bro, he's eating and shit, and all of a sudden he has the bikes and shit, and he walks over.
00:14:39.000 Oh, okay, nice.
00:14:40.000 Like a gentleman.
00:14:41.000 Yeah, alright, no problem.
00:14:42.000 One beer.
00:14:43.000 And all of a sudden they do a thing and he walks up to the guy, you gotta leave.
00:14:46.000 Now you can't leave.
00:14:48.000 And Collagero, like that guy named his son Collagero.
00:14:52.000 Who would do something like that?
00:14:54.000 That means you want your son to have the immigrant mentality.
00:14:58.000 But when they throw that beat on the bike, that's a true story.
00:15:02.000 Is it?
00:15:02.000 That's a true, true story.
00:15:04.000 Listen, in the 60s, you couldn't have longhand walk around the Bronx.
00:15:09.000 It just wasn't extended.
00:15:10.000 Really?
00:15:11.000 Yeah.
00:15:12.000 That hippie shit?
00:15:13.000 That didn't happen in the Bronx in 1965. What if like a hippie was walking through the Bronx?
00:15:19.000 They called you dirty hair?
00:15:21.000 They insulted you, they called you a bunch of shit, and then they threw a beating on you.
00:15:25.000 Wow.
00:15:26.000 And it's hysterical because that scene is so accurate.
00:15:29.000 Because after the adults threw a beating on you, then the neighborhood kids chased you, like the young kids with sticks.
00:15:35.000 And that's what we'd do.
00:15:37.000 Wow.
00:15:38.000 You know, like the little guys would chase you and once you were beat up and it took all your money.
00:15:42.000 It's a classic scene.
00:15:45.000 Hmm.
00:15:46.000 I was thinking about that, and I'm like, actually, I got to call Joe and ask him when the last time.
00:15:50.000 Look at this.
00:15:51.000 Look how bad to the bone.
00:15:53.000 Whether he stole it, Joe, whether he stole the scene or...
00:15:56.000 Look at this.
00:15:57.000 You've got to leave.
00:16:01.000 Your man is telling us you've got to leave.
00:16:03.000 Just tell him, sonny.
00:16:05.000 The problem is your man here says we're not properly dressed.
00:16:07.000 Like our money ain't green.
00:16:09.000 Like our money ain't green.
00:16:11.000 That's it.
00:16:12.000 That's it.
00:16:12.000 We'll be on our way.
00:16:13.000 We ain't looking for trouble.
00:16:16.000 Try to be careful for you, too.
00:16:21.000 Listen to how cool this Come Together sound, Doug.
00:16:23.000 He got them around, right?
00:16:25.000 Yeah.
00:16:28.000 Oh, this is a great scene, Joey.
00:16:30.000 This is a great song, Doug.
00:16:32.000 I forgot about this scene.
00:16:33.000 It's a perfect song, right?
00:16:34.000 Perfect song.
00:16:35.000 When he walks in, it starts in the beginning.
00:16:38.000 Watch this.
00:16:39.000 All right, brothers, if I may, a toast to our host.
00:16:46.000 Is this going to get us kicked off of YouTube?
00:16:48.000 No, no, no, no, no.
00:16:48.000 As long as we talk over it, we're good.
00:16:50.000 We're trying to be careful.
00:16:51.000 We're not ready.
00:16:51.000 Okay, okay.
00:16:54.000 This is it, right here.
00:16:57.000 Uh-oh.
00:17:00.000 I'll tell you when the fuck we leave.
00:17:02.000 All right, get the fuck away from me.
00:17:06.000 Go watch the bites, man.
00:17:16.000 Here it is.
00:17:17.000 Shuts the door.
00:17:21.000 Uh oh.
00:17:25.000 I will never forget the look on their faces.
00:17:30.000 All eight of them.
00:17:32.000 Their faces dropped.
00:17:34.000 All their courage and strength was drained right from their bodies.
00:17:39.000 They had a reputation for breaking This is real,
00:17:55.000 Joe Rogan.
00:17:55.000 This was 1968 on fucking Jerome Avenue.
00:18:00.000 Holy shit.
00:18:02.000 So this is a true story?
00:18:09.000 Jesus Christ.
00:18:10.000 This scene is fucking brutal.
00:18:13.000 This is it.
00:18:13.000 This was when this was allowed.
00:18:18.000 Dude.
00:18:29.000 This is craziness, bro.
00:18:31.000 This was the Bronx in 68, 69. Fuck.
00:18:35.000 And the neighborhood, you know, like the neighborhood would tell you, hurry up, the cops are the people on the third floor.
00:18:40.000 We could see the cops on the third floor.
00:18:42.000 We could see the bulls coming down the street.
00:18:44.000 The whole neighborhood was in on it.
00:18:47.000 You know what's interesting to me?
00:18:48.000 This is all from immigrants, right?
00:18:51.000 Yes.
00:18:51.000 It's all our ancestors.
00:18:52.000 This was what they had to do.
00:18:56.000 This also movie is about him dating a black girl.
00:18:59.000 Right.
00:18:59.000 I forgot how good this movie was.
00:19:02.000 That's right.
00:19:02.000 This movie's brilliant.
00:19:04.000 Yeah.
00:19:04.000 Shout out to Frankie Renzulli.
00:19:06.000 Yeah.
00:19:07.000 This movie's a genius movie.
00:19:10.000 Look at this.
00:19:10.000 Watch my car, you know.
00:19:11.000 Chaz Palminteri's great in this fucking movie.
00:19:13.000 This is it.
00:19:14.000 This was it.
00:19:15.000 This was it.
00:19:15.000 I forgot how good this is.
00:19:17.000 Now, see the young guys?
00:19:18.000 Now that's us, right?
00:19:19.000 We're seeing what's going on.
00:19:21.000 Now you take this guy and we would fuck him up, dawg.
00:19:27.000 This is crazy.
00:19:27.000 This is like animals.
00:19:29.000 Yeah, this is it.
00:19:30.000 This is how you were raised.
00:19:32.000 Italian immigrants, Spanish immigrants.
00:19:34.000 Oh my god, this is crazy.
00:19:36.000 Crazy.
00:19:36.000 When you think about their one generation removed from people who came off a boat.
00:19:41.000 Let me tell you what, the other side of this, here's the other side, like, alright, the big thing was, as we came to move here, I remember that he would come to the store, Frank Starr, Mike Starr was your friend, and he would come to the store, and there was a big rumor that Chaz stole these stories from him and put this together,
00:20:00.000 and there was like this little war going on, but not really.
00:20:02.000 From Frankie Renzulli, yeah.
00:20:03.000 From Frankie Renzulli, the other gentleman, there was somebody else that was his roommate, that turned out to be somebody very big, and, uh, But there's a story one time that a biker dude, oh, Gravano money, and Gravano was hitting him, and he fell off the sidewalk and broke his leg.
00:20:18.000 So Gravano one night went out and fucking did something like this, something like with 20 guys, they beat up eight bikers.
00:20:24.000 I don't know how true it was.
00:20:27.000 But I still remember being five...
00:20:30.000 Like, if I could think, if you could hit me with truth serum, I could go back to being 1968, 1969 in the Bronx.
00:20:40.000 My daughter's five, and my mother would send me from the dry cleaner that she owned to the corner where it was an Italian place that had slices and Italian ice and shit like that.
00:20:50.000 Like, I was allowed to walk to the corner at Mercy's age.
00:20:54.000 On Tremont Avenue.
00:20:56.000 Like, I think about it.
00:20:57.000 I was looking at my daughter when I was watching Bronx, and I'm going, how different has time changed?
00:21:03.000 Like, I was allowed to go to a liquor store with a note and get my mother Marlboro Reds and bring them back in that neighborhood.
00:21:10.000 We didn't live there.
00:21:11.000 My mother just had a dry cleaner, and up there was a bookie numbers joint.
00:21:15.000 That's why we had the dry cleaner.
00:21:17.000 We were partners on the dry cleaner.
00:21:19.000 You didn't know that?
00:21:20.000 No.
00:21:20.000 That's why I got scars on my face.
00:21:22.000 I got bit by a German Shepherd as a kid.
00:21:24.000 Those three by one of the eyes, that's what we did.
00:21:28.000 When we came from Cuba, I lived on 205 West 88th Street.
00:21:31.000 And after my father died, my mother had a dry cleaner.
00:21:33.000 And that's what we...
00:21:35.000 We're up.
00:21:36.000 We were up in Jerome Avenue and Tremont and Grand Concourse, and we had a dry cleaner.
00:21:41.000 And every weekend, I would go up there, and I would sit there with the fucking...
00:21:46.000 I learned how to dry clean, and they had Black Mike.
00:21:49.000 Black Mike was the guy that ironed everything, but he made the best spaghetti in the Bronx.
00:21:54.000 So even Italians came to eat Black Mike's spaghetti.
00:21:57.000 Really?
00:21:58.000 Yeah, this was...
00:22:00.000 I knew all that shit when I was a kid.
00:22:02.000 Because when you have a numbers operation, you have to keep moving it around.
00:22:08.000 Right.
00:22:08.000 The cops can't.
00:22:09.000 So you have to, every three or four weeks, you have to move it around.
00:22:12.000 Explain the numbers to people who don't know what that means.
00:22:14.000 The numbers is the paramutual.
00:22:17.000 The last three numbers are the pari-mutual of the track, which is the amount the track made for the day.
00:22:23.000 So if the track made $686,482, the number for the day is $482, and it comes out as the Brooklyn number.
00:22:35.000 So there's three numbers a day.
00:22:37.000 There's Brooklyn, the Bronx, and New Jersey.
00:22:40.000 But what happened was that was a big business until...
00:22:45.000 The 80s till the lotto came out.
00:22:47.000 And the lotto cut that in half.
00:22:49.000 But before that, that was all put in little different immigrant neighborhoods all over New York City because as immigrants, we all want hope.
00:22:58.000 You know, we want that money to get that refrigerator and the stove and shit like that.
00:23:02.000 It's such a weird...
00:23:14.000 My grandmother was obsessed with the numbers.
00:23:17.000 She was obsessed and she would always have like a number in her head that she thought it was gonna be and it was like one-off or something like that.
00:23:25.000 It was like these stories she would tell you.
00:23:28.000 What can I say?
00:23:29.000 I was like five.
00:23:31.000 I just remember it very distinctly.
00:23:34.000 My grandmother went to jail for running numbers.
00:23:37.000 In New Jersey?
00:23:39.000 She wouldn't rat them out, so they put her in jail.
00:23:42.000 So she made sweaters, gave sweaters to the guards.
00:23:45.000 Mrs. D, she's the nicest lady.
00:23:47.000 How did you feel that your grandmother had done time?
00:23:50.000 What did you think?
00:23:50.000 We didn't find out until I was probably like, I wonder when I found out.
00:23:55.000 I think maybe I found out in my teenage years.
00:23:57.000 And I was like, what?
00:23:59.000 What the fuck?
00:24:00.000 Like, people would go to see her.
00:24:02.000 Like, where's, uh, I don't want to say my grandma's name out of respect, but people would say, you know, where is she?
00:24:09.000 And she's, oh, she went to visit her cousin.
00:24:11.000 Or she went to see her aunt.
00:24:13.000 And she was, you know, she was in the pokey for like six months.
00:24:16.000 I forget how much time it was, but every time we'd go over there, there was some new excuse.
00:24:19.000 See, in New Jersey, they put you in jail for gambling.
00:24:24.000 In New York City, they don't.
00:24:26.000 They give you a ticket.
00:24:27.000 They would give you a ticket and shit in those days.
00:24:30.000 I don't know what it's like now.
00:24:32.000 They'll throw you in jail for weed now in New York City.
00:24:34.000 I don't fucking know.
00:24:35.000 My grandmother was one of the few people I've ever known where I legitimately thought they had intuition.
00:24:42.000 She has weird intuition.
00:24:44.000 She would do things.
00:24:46.000 It was real weird.
00:24:47.000 Like, when my mother was a kid, there was a rainstorm.
00:24:52.000 It was like a real bad rainstorm.
00:24:53.000 And for whatever reason, my grandmother decided to wake my mother up, take her out of her bed and bring her downstairs.
00:24:58.000 Some crazy hunch that she had.
00:25:02.000 The ceiling's collapsed.
00:25:03.000 Like right above the bed where my mom was sleeping.
00:25:06.000 So like pieces of, you know, it wasn't a lot.
00:25:08.000 It was just chunks of plaster.
00:25:10.000 But like, you know, three or four pretty significant pieces of plaster fell off of the ceiling.
00:25:15.000 It was rain came through with the whole deal.
00:25:17.000 Like the ceiling gave out.
00:25:19.000 Somehow or another she had this idea in her head, and it could be because she knew that the ceiling was fucked up, and she knew it was raining hard, and it was probably going to give in anyway, or she might have had intuition.
00:25:29.000 Everyone was always convinced it was intuition.
00:25:32.000 Everyone was always convinced, like she's a little bit psychic.
00:25:35.000 It was always weird.
00:25:36.000 It was always weird around there.
00:25:38.000 She had a monkey.
00:25:39.000 Did I tell you about her monkey?
00:25:40.000 No.
00:25:41.000 She had a monkey, Chi Chi.
00:25:42.000 In New Jersey?
00:25:42.000 Yes, in New Jersey.
00:25:43.000 She had a monkey named Chi Chi, and Chi Chi would bite everybody but my grandma.
00:25:50.000 My grandfather made her keep the monkey in the attic.
00:25:52.000 Yo, my grandma was crazy.
00:25:58.000 She had a monkey who would open up packages of gum and chew gum.
00:26:00.000 Do you know how or where the fuck she got it from?
00:26:02.000 She bought it.
00:26:03.000 She bought a monkey.
00:26:04.000 Yo, I'm telling you, my grandma was crazy.
00:26:06.000 Listen, Italian people had butchers in those days, and they'd get you anything.
00:26:10.000 Alligator, pigeon.
00:26:12.000 She kept a monkey in the house, man.
00:26:14.000 Do you understand how crazy it is?
00:26:15.000 Do you remember the monkey?
00:26:16.000 Yes!
00:26:17.000 Chi-Chi!
00:26:17.000 The monkey's name is Chi-Chi!
00:26:18.000 Did he bite you?
00:26:19.000 No, he never bit me, but he bit my sister.
00:26:21.000 He bit my sister.
00:26:22.000 Yeah, Chi-Chi would fuck you up.
00:26:24.000 I think he bit my sister.
00:26:26.000 I think he tried to bite my sister.
00:26:28.000 I think it was one of those things.
00:26:29.000 He might have bit my cousin.
00:26:33.000 Someone in our family got bit.
00:26:36.000 I never touched him.
00:26:37.000 I couldn't even get close.
00:26:38.000 Was that the Irish side or the Italian side?
00:26:39.000 No, the Italian side.
00:26:40.000 Yeah, they're nuts.
00:26:41.000 She was crazy.
00:26:42.000 And once you give, no disrespect, but once you give those lunatics that option that they do have intuition, you're done.
00:26:50.000 You're fucking done.
00:26:52.000 They start giving you the fish eyes.
00:26:54.000 Don't do shit.
00:26:55.000 You gotta listen to them.
00:26:56.000 Her cooking was from another planet.
00:26:59.000 It's from another planet.
00:27:00.000 It was like pure immigrant cooking.
00:27:04.000 Like the pasta, the lasagna.
00:27:08.000 You just sit there and go, holy shit.
00:27:11.000 Just perfect.
00:27:13.000 Just knew exactly what's supposed to be in there.
00:27:16.000 She'd make her own macaroni.
00:27:20.000 She'd make her own ravioli.
00:27:22.000 She would stuff her own ravioli.
00:27:23.000 She'd be out there rolling and flattening out flour and shit.
00:27:27.000 Throwing the flour on top of it, flattening it out.
00:27:29.000 She was a wizard.
00:27:31.000 Dog, you should get a monkey called a cheat.
00:27:32.000 Just out of respect.
00:27:34.000 A little monkey and keep it here, dog.
00:27:35.000 Out of respect for grandma.
00:27:37.000 My grandma was a special lady.
00:27:38.000 She was powerful.
00:27:39.000 Yeah, once you give those...
00:27:41.000 Listen, when I was a kid, man, I went to my buddy's judo school.
00:27:45.000 I didn't join.
00:27:46.000 I just went down there to see what it was like.
00:27:48.000 And it was hidden in Union City.
00:27:50.000 It was on 7th Street.
00:27:52.000 But I knew that my stepdad played cards on 9th Street on Wednesdays.
00:27:57.000 Wow.
00:27:58.000 Okay?
00:27:59.000 I knew my stepdad played cards down there.
00:28:01.000 They played Baccarat.
00:28:02.000 Okay?
00:28:03.000 And they'd gamble in this little club.
00:28:05.000 And I had to be maybe 10. But because I grew up how I grew up with the numbers, I always had my eyes out as a kid.
00:28:12.000 When I went to judo that night at the end, I got on the bus to go back, and I noticed unmarked police cars.
00:28:20.000 And I went home that night.
00:28:21.000 And look, bro, you know me, dog.
00:28:23.000 Get Christy Love used to be a show on ABC about a black chick that knew martial arts.
00:28:28.000 They tried to capitalize on it with a sister.
00:28:31.000 And she was good looking with an afro and she was a cop.
00:28:34.000 And she'd come in and do karate moves.
00:28:36.000 So on Wednesday nights at 9 or 10 o'clock, you caught me at home watching Get Christy Love.
00:28:40.000 And I'll never forget that my stepdad was leaving that night.
00:28:44.000 And for some reason, I go, you gonna play Baccarat tonight?
00:28:47.000 And he looked at me.
00:28:47.000 He was getting dressed, a suit on.
00:28:49.000 He had like the Billy Batch suit on and shit.
00:28:51.000 You're gonna play cards with five men.
00:28:54.000 Why are you getting dressed to the nines?
00:28:55.000 Right.
00:28:56.000 And I said to him, I said, hey, man.
00:28:59.000 Today, I went down there to go to Martin's Judo School, and I saw a bunch of unmarked cars down there.
00:29:04.000 If I was you, I wouldn't go out to that.
00:29:06.000 And he fucking just looked at me.
00:29:09.000 He said, I love you, and he walked down the stairs.
00:29:11.000 He got in the car, started it, opened the garage, bro.
00:29:14.000 And ten minutes later, I heard the car turn off, and the garage closed, and he came up, and he goes, I think you're right.
00:29:20.000 And he made Sundays for me and him, and next morning, that card place had got raided.
00:29:25.000 So now, they would listen to me when I was a kid.
00:29:29.000 I had these fucking morons under my spell, right?
00:29:33.000 But you want me to tell you what else I did, Joe Rogan?
00:29:36.000 Like, this was me.
00:29:37.000 Like, me and my stepdad had this weird relationship.
00:29:40.000 I got to an age where I wanted my mother for myself.
00:29:43.000 You know what the feeling is, Joe Rogan.
00:29:45.000 We've all gone through it when you lose a dad and your mom remarries.
00:29:49.000 There comes a day that he's not going to tell you what's going on anymore.
00:29:53.000 And you know what?
00:29:54.000 I just want you to know that I'm the motherfucker that runs this joint.
00:29:58.000 You might be sleeping with my mom, but I run this motherfucker.
00:30:02.000 So once I gave him that advice, like it really...
00:30:05.000 For a while there, him and I were going afloat.
00:30:07.000 I kept stealing his coins from his Santa...
00:30:10.000 He had this San Lazaro thing, and that was everything to him.
00:30:14.000 So he had this big bottle of, like, scotch that was empty, and he would put silver dollars in there, and I would steal them.
00:30:20.000 And from time to time, he would come home and go, that bottle's looking light.
00:30:25.000 Somebody's stealing mine.
00:30:27.000 I destroyed his mind for years because he was a very particular man.
00:30:32.000 So he had different bundles of mine.
00:30:34.000 I got to tell you something.
00:30:35.000 I respect him today because I saw him get out of the joint, and I saw what he did with bookmaking.
00:30:41.000 And how he became partners on a butcher shop.
00:30:44.000 Oh, he started businesses?
00:30:45.000 He started different businesses.
00:30:47.000 So after I saved that night with the Baccarac, he would listen to me.
00:30:52.000 And then one day I went, and I signed up for Biddy Basketball in Union City.
00:30:57.000 And they used to give, you know, like now if you sign your kid up, you've got to pay $80.
00:31:01.000 Right.
00:31:01.000 In those days, you just show up with an address.
00:31:03.000 Right.
00:31:04.000 And they gave you a T-shirt.
00:31:05.000 They put you on the team, and they gave me a number.
00:31:07.000 They said, like, Union City Department of Recreation.
00:31:09.000 It was a purple shirt.
00:31:11.000 My number was 57. I walked in the house and he goes, what do you got there?
00:31:16.000 And I go, oh, I joined the basketball thing.
00:31:18.000 And he goes, what number is it?
00:31:19.000 He goes, 57. Cubans, again, are very superstitious.
00:31:23.000 57. He goes, put a number on that.
00:31:26.000 And he picked up the phone.
00:31:28.000 I go, five.
00:31:29.000 He called some guy and he goes, give me 557 for $10.
00:31:32.000 Guess what happened, Joe Rogan?
00:31:34.000 What happened?
00:31:34.000 The number came out.
00:31:35.000 Now I really had him under my spell, right?
00:31:38.000 Get the fuck out of here.
00:31:39.000 Listen, I had this motherfucker at the age of 12. So he would listen to me and shit.
00:31:45.000 How old was the guy?
00:31:47.000 My stepfather Juan at the time was 47, did not drink, did not do drugs, carried a straight razor, Joe Rogan.
00:31:56.000 A straight razor cut people with?
00:31:58.000 Yeah.
00:31:58.000 He used to wear carpenter pants with the straight razor.
00:32:02.000 At this point, the guy had money.
00:32:04.000 He would have a gold chain.
00:32:06.000 He'd wear a Chinese T-shirt, which a lot of people do not know what it is.
00:32:10.000 That's what real pimps wear.
00:32:12.000 They're silk handmade shirts from China.
00:32:15.000 That you wear, and they have three little buttons.
00:32:18.000 But when you're a real motherfucking Spick, you cut those buttons, and you get your initials, and you put them in gold with diamonds in it.
00:32:24.000 That's how Spicks ran in those days.
00:32:29.000 And once I had him there, Joe Rogan, I had him.
00:32:32.000 He trusted me.
00:32:34.000 He trusted my eyes.
00:32:35.000 So one night we're in Union City and I fucking went somewhere on the walk back.
00:32:40.000 There's a place called Pastor Music and it was next to the New Moon Chinese restaurant and I saw a bunch of unmarked cars.
00:32:48.000 And I'll never forget that I went back to the bar, and I told him, I said, dog, I saw three unmarked cars up the corner.
00:32:58.000 He was very always scared of the phone.
00:33:00.000 Even though he was a bookmaker, he never used a phone, Joe Rogan.
00:33:04.000 Never used a phone, and he would never have a conversation close to a phone.
00:33:08.000 This is because he always felt he did not like phones.
00:33:12.000 He did everything like a pigeon.
00:33:14.000 He would write the numbers on a little piece of paper, real small, and fold them up and put them in his hat.
00:33:20.000 And if he ever saw cops, he would just eat the piece of fucking paper.
00:33:25.000 He didn't give a fuck.
00:33:26.000 He always had the piece of paper somewhere close.
00:33:30.000 Sometimes he would put it in his ring.
00:33:32.000 This motherfucker was a savage dog.
00:33:33.000 Oh my god.
00:33:34.000 So that night, the cops were gonna jump on us on the bar, but it was for a drug thing.
00:33:39.000 It wasn't for him.
00:33:40.000 But when I went back, I told him, listen, The cops were up the corner, and me and him, he grabbed me by the hand, and him and I walked from 29th and Bergenlein to 58th and Bergenlein down to Hudson, telling different bar owners that there was going to be a raid.
00:33:56.000 Like, that's how untrustworthy he was of phones.
00:33:59.000 And by the time we got back to the bar, we got raided.
00:34:03.000 And there was a dude in there, his name was Monina.
00:34:07.000 Right?
00:34:07.000 Monina is those crazy Cubans that are abacoa.
00:34:11.000 Monina means good man.
00:34:13.000 Abacoa?
00:34:14.000 Yeah, they're abacoa.
00:34:15.000 What does that mean?
00:34:16.000 They don't eat pussy.
00:34:17.000 Oh.
00:34:18.000 They don't eat pussy and they fucking...
00:34:20.000 You can't fuck around with animals because they're saying Lazarus and all that shit.
00:34:24.000 Oh, they have a very specific religion?
00:34:25.000 Yeah, they have.
00:34:26.000 It's a manhood.
00:34:27.000 They were longshoremen in Cuba.
00:34:29.000 Wow.
00:34:29.000 And they maintain order.
00:34:31.000 So if you fuck up, they come over and fuck you up.
00:34:35.000 But he had a wig.
00:34:37.000 I'll never forget this.
00:34:38.000 The guy, Monina, had a wig.
00:34:40.000 And the cops were there.
00:34:41.000 And they threw him on.
00:34:42.000 And I'm like 12, dog.
00:34:43.000 I'm up against the wall.
00:34:44.000 They're searching me, too.
00:34:45.000 They're searching my stepdad.
00:34:47.000 They got my mom.
00:34:48.000 And they went to Monina.
00:34:49.000 And they searched him.
00:34:50.000 And the cop looked at his wig.
00:34:51.000 And he goes, check the wig.
00:34:53.000 And they pulled the wig off.
00:34:54.000 And he had a little aluminum foil with cocaine.
00:34:56.000 He's got a thing to his head.
00:35:03.000 That whole bookmaker numbers world is fucking nuts that I grew up in.
00:35:08.000 I love it still.
00:35:09.000 I love it.
00:35:10.000 I wonder what it's like now.
00:35:12.000 There's no business in it.
00:35:13.000 Well, it's unfortunate because...
00:35:15.000 You think about how many bets are placed.
00:35:17.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.
00:35:18.000 There's so much money out there.
00:35:20.000 There's so much money out there.
00:35:21.000 People love to gamble.
00:35:23.000 Fucking games, when games are on, people love to gamble.
00:35:26.000 What do you think is spent this weekend, Jamie?
00:35:29.000 Come on, Jamie.
00:35:30.000 Here's my question, Joey.
00:35:31.000 Like, why is that a problem?
00:35:33.000 Like, what's helping us by letting them regulate that shit?
00:35:38.000 Like, why?
00:35:39.000 Why do you have to have a license to gamble?
00:35:41.000 Why?
00:35:43.000 You know, if you think someone's not paying their taxes and you can prove it, is it because it's money?
00:35:48.000 It's cash that's being thrown around mostly?
00:35:51.000 Why is it an issue?
00:35:53.000 The government's not getting their piece?
00:35:57.000 It seems ridiculous that grown adults could tell other grown adults they can't gamble.
00:36:01.000 But you can here.
00:36:02.000 But you can't there.
00:36:03.000 Bro, gambling is one of those things like legalization of marijuana.
00:36:07.000 Like legalization of fucking cocaine.
00:36:10.000 Like legalization of anything, bro.
00:36:12.000 You know what?
00:36:13.000 There's going to be fucking winners and there's going to be fucking losers, my friends.
00:36:17.000 Two years ago, Connecticut did an expose on 60 Minutes about women who have just lost their fucking minds gambling at Mohican Son because they installed, no disrespect to Mohican Son of Casino Industries,
00:36:34.000 they installed these type of slot machines that could just fuck with your mind.
00:36:40.000 What?
00:36:40.000 So these women were going down there and losing fucking mortgages, houses, you know?
00:36:47.000 Sounds like a John Waters movie, doesn't it?
00:36:49.000 Dog, it was just something that, listen, the biggest...
00:36:52.000 That's crazy.
00:36:53.000 Listen, listen, let's get something out of the way here.
00:36:56.000 The biggest percentage of degenerate gamblers are usually women.
00:37:01.000 Let's look this fucking percentage up here.
00:37:03.000 Women go fucking deep.
00:37:05.000 It's a fucking hole.
00:37:07.000 They don't give a fuck about nothing.
00:37:09.000 They fucking play cards.
00:37:11.000 Women fucking bang it out.
00:37:14.000 And they bang it out while you're at work, Joe Rogan, while I'm at work.
00:37:19.000 They start with a horse, then they go to their—you know, those little tours they do in Jersey.
00:37:25.000 When Atlantic City was Atlantic City, you went to Union City, right?
00:37:30.000 You paid $15 to get on a bus, they gave you a coupon book, and when you get to Atlantic City, they give you $15 and quarters back.
00:37:37.000 So they're basically driving you to fucking gamble and drive back.
00:37:41.000 I believe in gambling.
00:37:43.000 I believe in making a living.
00:37:45.000 I believe that it's an itch.
00:37:46.000 It's an illness, whatever, but when you're losing your house.
00:37:52.000 That's where, I want to know where, that's where it bothers me.
00:37:56.000 It's just like cocaine.
00:37:58.000 It's just like drug abuse.
00:37:59.000 It's just like the opiate problem.
00:38:01.000 It's just like anything else.
00:38:04.000 You and I both know people who have lost their fucking lives gambling.
00:38:09.000 Okay?
00:38:09.000 You've seen people in pool halls.
00:38:11.000 You see how they get Joe Rogan.
00:38:13.000 There's no difference in the drug addict than the gambling addict.
00:38:16.000 Not at all.
00:38:17.000 No difference.
00:38:19.000 It's just as scary, too, because they're conscious.
00:38:21.000 It's like if you see the drug addict, you see him, he's shooting up or whatever it is, and you see him fainting, you go, oh, that poor bastard.
00:38:28.000 But when you see a guy who's fully in the grips of gambling, trying to figure out how to get his money back, and he's all jazzed up with adrenaline, he doesn't understand why.
00:38:36.000 See, there's gamblers like Michael Jordan.
00:38:38.000 Then there's gamblers like Joey Diaz.
00:38:40.000 There's gamblers who have the means to gamble.
00:38:43.000 And that is a fucking killer also.
00:38:46.000 Like a Michael Jordan.
00:38:47.000 Like a Michael Jordan.
00:38:48.000 And I'm not saying nothing bad about Michael Jordan.
00:38:50.000 These are just accusations that you hear that he even bets on his own one-on-one basketball games.
00:38:55.000 He was very competitive.
00:39:00.000 Oh, yeah.
00:39:00.000 But now, how Joey Diaz was doing it.
00:39:03.000 Not how people...
00:39:04.000 Charles Barkley lost nearly $30 million gambling, it says.
00:39:08.000 Jesus, Charles!
00:39:11.000 How much money does Charles Barkley have?
00:39:14.000 How many people did you grow up that were like Joey Diaz that didn't have the means, that were 19 years old?
00:39:22.000 Okay, and one night they put a 10-time bet in on a fucking Knick game and they won $50.
00:39:27.000 When you're 19, $50 is a lot of fucking money.
00:39:29.000 That's a lot of fucking money.
00:39:30.000 So now you think you got the world by the ball, so you do it again on Friday, Saturday, and now you enter this world, Joe Rogan, that gets dark.
00:39:39.000 Instead of the drug addiction or the alcohol addiction, every morning you wake up like, is today my lucky day?
00:39:47.000 It's like the people who go to the 7-Eleven every day and you're trying to just get a pack of rolling papers.
00:39:53.000 You're just in a rush.
00:39:54.000 You just left jujitsu.
00:39:55.000 You just want rolling papers and water.
00:39:57.000 And there's a guy in front of you and he's telling you, give me three 68s, four 64s, and this poor fucking...
00:40:04.000 Whatever gives him 20 lottery tickets.
00:40:07.000 And it's $118.
00:40:09.000 This is what this guy's doing every day.
00:40:11.000 Seven fucking days a week, my friend.
00:40:13.000 And he might be winning $200 a fucking week.
00:40:16.000 But every week he's getting deeper and deeper into a fucking hole.
00:40:20.000 Because in your mind, you think today's your lucky day.
00:40:23.000 And it's never your lucky...
00:40:24.000 I was in that hole when I was 19, dog.
00:40:27.000 And I saw a friend lose...
00:40:30.000 $80,000 when you're 18 years old and you had to get three jobs.
00:40:33.000 And I never really fucked with that again.
00:40:35.000 I learned that addiction.
00:40:36.000 That shit left my world early.
00:40:39.000 You know who's a degenerate loser gambler?
00:40:41.000 Who?
00:40:41.000 John Gotti.
00:40:42.000 Who?
00:40:43.000 He wanted because they brag.
00:40:45.000 Right.
00:40:46.000 That's their conversation.
00:40:47.000 How much they made and how much they lost.
00:40:49.000 Get away from me.
00:40:50.000 You have no fucking idea.
00:40:52.000 If I had fucking Michigan and the hook, I would have made $30,000.
00:40:57.000 They lose $80,000, $90,000, $200,000.
00:41:01.000 The system is designed to bury the degenerate gambler.
00:41:07.000 Like, from August 15th...
00:41:11.000 Look at this.
00:41:13.000 John Gotti's secret obsession that waged 600 bets in Scrabble and a $3,000 monopoly buy-in.
00:41:21.000 You have no idea, guys.
00:41:23.000 The degenerate...
00:41:24.000 For like seven months...
00:41:28.000 I played this fucking ugly game, Joe, that I would start.
00:41:32.000 I knew the action.
00:41:34.000 I knew that you had to bet on Monday nights and try to win.
00:41:37.000 And you know what?
00:41:37.000 I lost every week.
00:41:39.000 And all these people who sell you information, listen, Arch Lietzer played the fucking game and lost.
00:41:45.000 Pete Rose bet and lost.
00:41:47.000 Even Michael Jordan bet and lost.
00:41:49.000 Yeah.
00:41:50.000 There's rumors that that's why he was asked to play baseball for a few years because it was a cover-up.
00:41:55.000 Again, I did not write this.
00:41:57.000 This is just things I hear on the road.
00:42:00.000 Everybody has a fucking problem.
00:42:02.000 Gambling grabs you.
00:42:04.000 Fucking weird, bro.
00:42:06.000 Weird.
00:42:06.000 And it grabbed me for a long time.
00:42:08.000 I kept thinking that was the day.
00:42:09.000 And I kept betting 40 times.
00:42:11.000 What's up, Jamie?
00:42:13.000 If they had a problem playing Scrabble, they would call up the Parker Brothers hotline like mobsters would to dispute the rules and have them explain what was going on.
00:42:23.000 What's the fucking rule?
00:42:26.000 Lamingia is a word.
00:42:29.000 Stamingia is a word, Joe.
00:42:32.000 Staminkia is not a word.
00:42:34.000 Staminkia is a word.
00:42:35.000 Wiki dude, he told me.
00:42:39.000 That's why they were getting into arguments.
00:42:41.000 Garbage man, cafe, you know.
00:42:48.000 Oh my God.
00:42:48.000 Bro, no, gambling is a fucking nightmare.
00:42:51.000 And once you get caught in the web and Joe Rogan shuts me down, then I start putting bets with Jamie.
00:42:58.000 And then pretty soon I start fucking dipping into accounts.
00:43:03.000 And pretty soon, now you're done.
00:43:05.000 Now you get forced into a bad hand.
00:43:08.000 I told you that I was a backer on the road for a while, my friend Johnny B. When I started making money doing stand-up, I put together a little bankroll, and me and him would go places and gamble.
00:43:18.000 And he would win or lose, you know, sometimes he'd win, sometimes he'd lose.
00:43:23.000 But it was just being in action.
00:43:25.000 It was fun.
00:43:26.000 That kind of gambling.
00:43:27.000 I was never good enough to play those guys, but I could play people that were my level, and you'd bet $20, or maybe if you want to get crazy, bet $50.
00:43:37.000 I never bet a lot of money gambling on pool, but it makes you think more.
00:43:42.000 It makes you play, like, way more serious.
00:43:43.000 It's good for your game.
00:43:44.000 And if you can have a friendly sparring partner that you play, like, friendly games, like maybe a race to seven for 20 bucks.
00:43:53.000 So it costs you probably in any city pool halls.
00:43:57.000 I don't know what the rate is per hour, but they gotta be, like, at least 20 bucks an hour.
00:44:01.000 Alright, once and for all, once and for all, I want you to break it down for me.
00:44:06.000 I walk into a pool hall with Jamie.
00:44:09.000 Yeah.
00:44:09.000 I got 10 G's cash in my pocket.
00:44:12.000 Jamie's my main man.
00:44:14.000 How do I exactly make money?
00:44:15.000 And why is it that the people in the room pass money around?
00:44:19.000 And how does that money get dispersed?
00:44:22.000 It's real simple.
00:44:23.000 Everybody puts, like, you put in.
00:44:25.000 I'm in for a hundred.
00:44:26.000 Jamie's my boy.
00:44:27.000 Like, it depends on who's putting it together.
00:44:29.000 Because they might decide to just pool in all their money.
00:44:32.000 Like, everybody put in on one side, pool in money, and, you know, and back this guy.
00:44:37.000 Or they might be betting on the side.
00:44:38.000 They might not even be playing the game.
00:44:40.000 There's always side bets.
00:44:41.000 Side bets are probably more, like, if you had a bet, if you had, like, a big pool game, right, in a, there used to be a place called, uh, What is it?
00:44:51.000 West End Billiards, I think?
00:44:53.000 In New Jersey?
00:44:55.000 West End.
00:44:56.000 I think it was called...
00:44:56.000 See if you find West End Billiards.
00:44:59.000 It was a world famous pool hall.
00:45:01.000 We would take the drive from New York to go down to New Jersey to this famous...
00:45:07.000 Pool Hall that would have these serious high-level professionals play there.
00:45:12.000 And real high-level hustlers from all over the country would go there for big money games.
00:45:17.000 You could go there and watch people play for $5,000, $10,000.
00:45:21.000 I mean, the best in the world would be there all the time.
00:45:23.000 I got to play against some of the best in the world.
00:45:25.000 They killed me, but I got to play against them.
00:45:28.000 Like real good guys.
00:45:30.000 You just enter the tournament.
00:45:31.000 If you and I are in the tournament and you are Efren Reyes, the greatest of all time, or Earl Strickland, or Johnny Archer, and I'm just Joe Rogan, I barely can play.
00:45:42.000 It doesn't matter.
00:45:42.000 I put my money up, I enter the tournament, I can play against you.
00:45:46.000 Unless it's a huge, huge, like, where you have to get invited.
00:45:48.000 So now does Joey Diaz come on the side and go, listen, I'm putting three to one odds on this.
00:45:53.000 Sure, some people definitely do.
00:45:55.000 Okay, so that's a side bet.
00:45:57.000 Yes, side bets all over the place.
00:45:58.000 I don't know how the pool...
00:45:59.000 I got a hundred bucks on Archer.
00:46:00.000 You know, oh, you've never seen this Diaz kid play.
00:46:02.000 I got a hundred on Diaz.
00:46:03.000 And dudes will go, I'll take that, I'll take that.
00:46:05.000 And then you just work it out.
00:46:06.000 And everybody works it out.
00:46:08.000 But sometimes guys will get together and back somebody, too.
00:46:11.000 Like, say, if you've got a friend that's a really good player, and this guy's coming in from out of town, And he wants to take a crack at him and go, well, he wants to play $100 sets.
00:46:20.000 Okay, and then you have to think, how many barrels do we have?
00:46:22.000 You pull all your money together.
00:46:23.000 Okay, we got four barrels.
00:46:24.000 That means if he wants to play sets, we can lose four times.
00:46:28.000 So you have to be able to lose a couple, gain a couple.
00:46:31.000 Like, if you're going to really play a guy out, these guys would play 10, 12 hours.
00:46:34.000 They would keep going back and forth and back and forth.
00:46:37.000 It's crazy.
00:46:39.000 Like, I've seen guys, and you would see them the next day, they'd still be playing.
00:46:42.000 You'd go there in the morning, they'd be playing all through the night.
00:46:46.000 I don't know what the fuck they were on.
00:46:47.000 Most likely some sort of amphetamines.
00:46:49.000 That was a big thing in the pool world for a while.
00:46:51.000 Guys would just break each other with gambling.
00:46:54.000 It would be about who quits.
00:46:56.000 It wouldn't be about who won.
00:46:58.000 It's very rarely about like, you know, like you would be frowned upon highly if you left on top.
00:47:06.000 Say if you're ahead by 500 bucks, And you want to quit me?
00:47:10.000 And I'm still ready to keep playing?
00:47:13.000 I still got more money, man.
00:47:14.000 Let me win my money back.
00:47:15.000 If you just walked away, nope, I've got what I wanted.
00:47:18.000 I'm going to leave now.
00:47:20.000 You'd be what's called bad action.
00:47:22.000 Guys, I got two kids.
00:47:24.000 I got to get up at seven and go bring them to school.
00:47:25.000 You shouldn't be on the pool hall, motherfucker.
00:47:26.000 With two kids, you're not playing that kind of pool.
00:47:28.000 There ain't nobody with two kids playing that level pool in pool halls, like gambling and hustling.
00:47:32.000 There's a pool hall, motherfucker.
00:47:33.000 Maybe now there are.
00:47:34.000 There's actually a few guys.
00:47:35.000 I take that back.
00:47:36.000 There's a few guys with kids that are top of the food chain.
00:47:39.000 There's a pool hall a mile from my house.
00:47:41.000 Whenever I go into Hollywood now, I can't do Laurel King no more, so I gotta go the long way.
00:47:47.000 And I get off on victory just to see it fucking always filled with degenerates.
00:47:52.000 I'm petrified to pull in there.
00:47:54.000 Those places were home to me.
00:47:56.000 You know which one I'm talking about, right?
00:47:57.000 Next to the strip club?
00:47:58.000 Is that a good one?
00:48:00.000 Victory.
00:48:01.000 Right when you exit there.
00:48:02.000 There's a strip club right next to a pool hall.
00:48:05.000 Well, I know the only good one in this area.
00:48:07.000 Well, I shouldn't say the only good one.
00:48:08.000 The only good one I know of is House of Billiards in Sherman Oaks, like this area.
00:48:13.000 That place is great.
00:48:14.000 You've been on the 101. Have you seen what that place is?
00:48:18.000 You took me there a couple times to eat.
00:48:20.000 We did comedy there.
00:48:22.000 Remember Hollywood Billiards?
00:48:23.000 You took me there on Hollywood Boulevard.
00:48:26.000 It's fucking a building.
00:48:28.000 What is it now?
00:48:29.000 I'll go there next time.
00:48:30.000 What does it look like?
00:48:31.000 Joe, next time I drove by and I was like...
00:48:34.000 Oh my god, that used to be...
00:48:36.000 We did comedy there.
00:48:37.000 Joe took me to eat there with Ari a couple times.
00:48:40.000 We played pool there a bunch of times.
00:48:42.000 A bunch of times.
00:48:43.000 That place was great.
00:48:44.000 It's fucking done.
00:48:45.000 That whole area is completely different.
00:48:47.000 That's where I met Crazy Max Eberle.
00:48:50.000 Really?
00:48:51.000 Yeah, that dude can play some fucking pool.
00:48:53.000 Woo!
00:48:54.000 So when you play Max Eberle, how much do I have to put up?
00:48:56.000 I still put up one-to-one.
00:48:57.000 Yeah, I would get tortured.
00:48:58.000 You would have to bet, like, that I would go to...
00:49:00.000 You're never gonna bet on me.
00:49:02.000 Like, a guy like Max Eberle, he's top of the food chain as far as his technique and delivery.
00:49:08.000 He could win a world championship tournament, like, legitimately.
00:49:10.000 He's that good.
00:49:11.000 I have no chance.
00:49:13.000 If we play 12 games, I might win a couple.
00:49:16.000 I might get lucky and win a few.
00:49:17.000 Maybe I'll win four.
00:49:18.000 He's going to win way more.
00:49:20.000 He's going to get to 12, for sure, quicker.
00:49:22.000 It'd be a terrible bet.
00:49:23.000 The bet would be how many games do I get to?
00:49:26.000 That would be the bet.
00:49:27.000 If you say, you'll never get past three.
00:49:29.000 Because a guy like Max Ablett can run 10 racks in a row.
00:49:32.000 And I'm not exaggerating.
00:49:33.000 I've seen him do it.
00:49:34.000 Blam!
00:49:35.000 Breaks, runs 10 racks in a row.
00:49:37.000 To the point where you're sitting there.
00:49:38.000 He did it in Vegas.
00:49:39.000 We were all hanging out.
00:49:41.000 I think it was...
00:49:42.000 Man, was it Ari?
00:49:44.000 I forget who came with me.
00:49:46.000 Actually, you guys were going to the Italian place.
00:49:49.000 Yes.
00:49:49.000 That place was amazing.
00:49:50.000 And that's exactly where Max was playing.
00:49:54.000 He would break and run out on guys, and they would just get frustrated.
00:49:57.000 They'd be like, what the fuck, man?
00:49:59.000 They just didn't get to shoot.
00:50:00.000 We watched him.
00:50:01.000 He was gambling some guy.
00:50:03.000 And when the set was over, the guy was just pissed off.
00:50:07.000 Because Max just wouldn't miss.
00:50:08.000 It was crazy.
00:50:09.000 Just watch him.
00:50:11.000 He's playing a guy that really just...
00:50:13.000 Wanted to take a chance and play like a top of the food chain guy and he gambled with him.
00:50:17.000 But just watching the difference between a kid who can play a little pool is pretty good versus a world championship caliber pool player.
00:50:25.000 They're so precise.
00:50:26.000 Like his technique is so clean and his angles are perfect and he's just effortlessly moving the cue ball on the table to where he wants it.
00:50:35.000 He sees clusters and problems way in advance and breaks them up.
00:50:38.000 It's so high level.
00:50:39.000 That's my boy.
00:50:41.000 That's Max Alberly.
00:50:43.000 He taught me how to play pool.
00:50:45.000 Not that I didn't already play it before I met him, but he taught me how to play it way better, way better.
00:50:50.000 He made my game way more technical.
00:50:54.000 He was explaining things that I was just guessing before, and he was explaining what was wrong with my approach and what's a better way to do it.
00:51:01.000 He's a wizard when it comes to technique.
00:51:04.000 Now, he can make a living going from pool hall to pool hall or no way because he's that good.
00:51:08.000 Well, he's an artist too, fortunately for Max.
00:51:10.000 He makes pretty cool artwork.
00:51:14.000 Some of it's probably on his Instagram page.
00:51:16.000 I thought he did pool cues or something.
00:51:17.000 No, no, no.
00:51:18.000 Who's our friend that does pool cues?
00:51:20.000 Who does pool cues?
00:51:21.000 Somebody along the way said he makes like fucking 8G pool cues, ivory.
00:51:27.000 Eric Crisp.
00:51:28.000 That's my boy Eric from Sugar Tree.
00:51:29.000 There you go.
00:51:30.000 Somewhere.
00:51:30.000 Somebody.
00:51:31.000 That's what I play with.
00:51:32.000 I play with his cue.
00:51:34.000 His cue is, uh, he's a wizard, man.
00:51:36.000 He's a guy who's, like, really into, like, the grains of woods.
00:51:39.000 He's really into, like, patterns, and he thinks of, like, to him, wood is, like, mesmerizing.
00:51:45.000 He finds, like, the most beautiful pieces of wood and combines them together, and they have to have a certain harmonic frequency.
00:51:52.000 Like, he drops them on the cement floor, just like, dink, dink.
00:51:56.000 Like, he wants to hear a certain sound from the wood.
00:51:58.000 Otherwise, he won't use it.
00:52:01.000 He's like finding logs on the side of the highway and shit and recognizing some weird hardwood that no one's ever used before and he cuts it up and makes a cue out of it.
00:52:09.000 He's a wizard.
00:52:11.000 Like his cues are ridiculous.
00:52:12.000 And he doesn't give a fuck.
00:52:13.000 He makes as many as he wants.
00:52:15.000 You know?
00:52:16.000 Sometimes he don't make them for a while.
00:52:18.000 Makes them for his friends.
00:52:20.000 Won't let me pay for one.
00:52:22.000 I have to pay for everything just to not feel terrible.
00:52:26.000 He's like the nicest guy ever.
00:52:29.000 Play some fucking pool, too.
00:52:30.000 So I don't even know when this podcast started and when it began.
00:52:34.000 It's happening.
00:52:34.000 But it's funny.
00:52:35.000 Before we started, we were talking about, yeah, $4.8 billion in the Super Bowl.
00:52:40.000 3% will happen in Nevada.
00:52:42.000 That's it.
00:52:43.000 Only 3%.
00:52:44.000 So is most of it online?
00:52:46.000 Online.
00:52:46.000 What's that Chris Christie thing you pulled up earlier, Jamie?
00:52:48.000 Listen, G, online and banks.
00:52:51.000 Banks.
00:52:52.000 There's still people who...
00:52:53.000 I like, you know, they got a ton of loot.
00:52:57.000 Chris Christie goes to the Supreme Court on sports betting.
00:53:00.000 Is he trying to get sports betting legalized?
00:53:02.000 They passed something in New Jersey, I think in 2011, to allow betting in sports, but it's still only allowed in Vegas because of whatever law there is.
00:53:10.000 I'm back on your team, Chris.
00:53:12.000 You might have a few problems, but we all do.
00:53:15.000 There's 17 states also with him on this.
00:53:17.000 I think they want to do it.
00:53:19.000 So he opposed it?
00:53:21.000 They want it again.
00:53:22.000 They want betting again because they have an NHL team in Vegas and that's always been like the logic is that there'll be some issue, whatever.
00:53:29.000 You can't be betting where there's sports being played because someone will throw the game.
00:53:32.000 Everybody should be able to bet.
00:53:33.000 Every city.
00:53:34.000 She'll do whatever you want.
00:53:35.000 As long as they tax you.
00:53:37.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:53:38.000 You're an adult.
00:53:39.000 What the fuck are you going to do?
00:53:40.000 And these games though, I'm fascinated by these games you say are hypnotizing ladies and they're going crazy, losing all their money.
00:53:47.000 60 Minutes.
00:53:48.000 They did a whole piece on it?
00:53:49.000 A whole piece on these games that are like laser-ish.
00:53:53.000 You know, and people were actually...
00:53:55.000 But the percentage was higher amongst women because of its...
00:54:03.000 So let me explain something to you.
00:54:06.000 It's like video games, only gambling.
00:54:11.000 It's very fucking...
00:54:13.000 So addictive like a video game, but also gambling.
00:54:15.000 Yes, very gambling.
00:54:16.000 So that's what their beef was, to remove these type of games.
00:54:20.000 Because I'm telling you, since I was a kid, I always...
00:54:24.000 First off...
00:54:26.000 I lived with my mother.
00:54:28.000 She had a lot of problems.
00:54:29.000 She had a lot of great issues.
00:54:30.000 But she was a degenerate gamer on baseball.
00:54:36.000 Between the Boston Red Sox and the New York Mets, they killed her.
00:54:40.000 They killed her.
00:54:42.000 And I saw the decline.
00:54:45.000 I saw a person watch two baseball games at the same time.
00:54:49.000 Remember in those days you didn't have split screen and direct TV. So if you were Puerto Rican, you took one TV and you put it on top of the other TV and you got fucking NBC and you had...
00:55:03.000 Remember when HBO still had the cord to the fucking thing?
00:55:08.000 And it was a thing with a box that you pressed and you switched three levels?
00:55:12.000 In those days, maybe.
00:55:14.000 And there was no ABA package or NBA package.
00:55:19.000 You got like one other game.
00:55:20.000 So we would pray that it would be the Boston Red Sox, and she would watch both fucking games and gamble at the same time.
00:55:27.000 Not even that, the numbers.
00:55:30.000 If she had a dream about a goat, bam.
00:55:33.000 If she had a dream about going back to Cuba, bam.
00:55:36.000 That sounds so much like my family.
00:55:37.000 If she had a dream about seeing her daughter, bam, it was a number.
00:55:43.000 They would call her.
00:55:44.000 They would call her at a quarter to three because she had all those contacts.
00:55:49.000 So that was that gambling.
00:55:51.000 Then there was the track addiction.
00:55:55.000 Which started at Aqueduct in the afternoon.
00:55:58.000 If the sun was shining, that was an excuse to go to Aqueduct for my mother.
00:56:02.000 Let me go to Aqueduct.
00:56:03.000 I'll see you at 3 after school.
00:56:05.000 And she'd be there at 3. But the whole time she'd be scratching.
00:56:09.000 Because the Meadowlands started at 8th.
00:56:12.000 So she knew she could catch the Meadowlands at 8. So guess what happens then if you lose the 8 o'clock Meadowlands?
00:56:18.000 What?
00:56:18.000 You haul your ass to Yonkers with the death of death.
00:56:23.000 This is where you go to before you go to a pool hall to sell your blood.
00:56:27.000 You go to Yonkers Raceway.
00:56:29.000 Do you understand me?
00:56:30.000 Have you ever been to Yonkers Raceway?
00:56:32.000 I've heard of it.
00:56:33.000 Yeah, you leave there at quarter to one.
00:56:35.000 Where do you think you're going?
00:56:36.000 You're either going to sell your soul or give your blood so you go shoot pool because you're saving the day.
00:56:42.000 You cannot go home and lose her.
00:56:44.000 Right, right.
00:56:45.000 And there's all day gambling.
00:56:47.000 Oh, my God.
00:56:48.000 So that was her thing.
00:56:50.000 So I also grew up in an Italian family that the mother was Joey.
00:56:57.000 It was like a fucking act.
00:56:59.000 It was like an act.
00:57:00.000 She had three kids.
00:57:02.000 They were tremendous kids.
00:57:03.000 I knew the husband.
00:57:05.000 He worked for a big corporation.
00:57:07.000 They drove a nice car.
00:57:09.000 They went to church.
00:57:10.000 But on Saturdays, when I go over there, I always go, where's your mom?
00:57:14.000 And they go, my mom plays cards with the Rogans and this name.
00:57:20.000 But as I got older, one day somebody said to me, Doug, be careful when you go over there.
00:57:25.000 Why?
00:57:26.000 They might shoot that lady in the head.
00:57:28.000 She owns like 600 pounds.
00:57:29.000 I mean...
00:57:30.000 When I was a kid, I was like 13, and somebody came to me and said, be careful when you go with it because the mom's a little bit on those card games.
00:57:40.000 Imagine being scared for your life from a card game.
00:57:44.000 Imagine being scared for your life.
00:57:45.000 Well, it was a different game.
00:57:47.000 That's how they suck you in.
00:57:48.000 So a lot of the people...
00:57:49.000 Now, I also grew up with men degenerate gamblers, but I know all the symptoms.
00:57:53.000 I know the itch.
00:57:55.000 This thing on 60 Minutes just spoke about this addiction with...
00:58:00.000 A computer thing with women.
00:58:02.000 That was it.
00:58:03.000 That was really interesting.
00:58:04.000 But I know how it fucking creeps up on you.
00:58:09.000 It was on a couple years ago.
00:58:10.000 It's called slot machines, the big gamble.
00:58:12.000 Oh, so it's just slot machines in general?
00:58:15.000 These type of slot machines.
00:58:16.000 These computer ones?
00:58:17.000 Yes.
00:58:18.000 They have an effect on women in particular?
00:58:20.000 Maybe man the fuck up, ladies.
00:58:23.000 How about that?
00:58:25.000 No, dog.
00:58:26.000 Here's my take on this whole gambling thing.
00:58:28.000 Like, remember horse betting in New York?
00:58:29.000 Like, you'd go to the horse...
00:58:31.000 Off-track betting.
00:58:32.000 Yeah, it was right there.
00:58:33.000 Right there.
00:58:33.000 They made that for a reason.
00:58:35.000 Yeah.
00:58:35.000 I mean, they're just trying to make it legal.
00:58:37.000 This is legal.
00:58:38.000 Come on, this is legal.
00:58:39.000 It's not legal.
00:58:40.000 It's to take a piece, Joe Rubin.
00:58:42.000 Yeah.
00:58:42.000 No, I'm saying that.
00:58:43.000 They want their piece.
00:58:44.000 Have you been to a medical marijuana store recently?
00:58:46.000 No, I haven't.
00:58:47.000 Okay.
00:58:47.000 What do they like?
00:58:48.000 If it's $60, your tab is now $76.
00:58:52.000 Because it taxes?
00:58:53.000 It's $16 in taxes if you buy something for $60.
00:58:57.000 The thing about weed though is it goes so far.
00:59:00.000 Think about how much like $100 worth of weed goes.
00:59:04.000 You could be on the moon for three days.
00:59:08.000 For three days!
00:59:09.000 You could be on the moon with the proper edibles.
00:59:13.000 Get $100 worth of the proper edibles.
00:59:15.000 How much do you think you can handle?
00:59:17.000 How many Jumbos do you think you could handle?
00:59:19.000 You ever have a Jumbo?
00:59:20.000 Yeah.
00:59:21.000 What do they have, like?
00:59:22.000 Depends on, I think, 100 to 200 or something like that.
00:59:24.000 Yeah, dude.
00:59:25.000 I fucked up and ate half a Jumbo once.
00:59:28.000 I felt my cells.
00:59:30.000 I felt all the cells in my bones.
00:59:33.000 I felt, like, where the tendons connected on my spine.
00:59:36.000 It's like, you could get fucking blasted.
00:59:41.000 And it'll last you 12 hours.
00:59:43.000 And then take the other half.
00:59:44.000 That's another 12 hours.
00:59:45.000 Now, are the taxes higher in Las Vegas, Jamie, than they are here for weed?
00:59:49.000 35% here.
00:59:50.000 How much?
00:59:51.000 35%.
00:59:51.000 And what's in Vegas?
00:59:53.000 It's high, but it depends on if it's...
00:59:55.000 Bro, they changed the motherfucking game, dog.
00:59:57.000 Like, there's no more stars of debt.
00:59:59.000 That's so silly.
01:00:00.000 There's no more hello tushies.
01:00:02.000 The TKOs, I bought the final fucking...
01:00:05.000 I got a cartel.
01:00:06.000 I'm like Pablo Escobar.
01:00:08.000 I got a fucking cachet.
01:00:10.000 Of the ones I ate this morning, those hello, the TKOs?
01:00:13.000 Yeah.
01:00:14.000 Yeah, you can't find them, but I got to tell.
01:00:16.000 I got to leave.
01:00:17.000 They become like Cuban cigars.
01:00:19.000 Oh, my God.
01:00:20.000 They're like Cuban cigars now.
01:00:21.000 So some people are just going to keep going.
01:00:24.000 There's no more.
01:00:25.000 Like, I told people there's no more stars, but there is stars.
01:00:29.000 You know, there ain't, but there ain't.
01:00:31.000 Like, people are going fucking bananas now, because now you got to see the...
01:00:35.000 Like, I only go to two weed stores.
01:00:39.000 But I go to one that's by the book.
01:00:42.000 And I go to one that they just said, you know what?
01:00:45.000 We're like Stipe Mayo Chick.
01:00:46.000 We don't give a fuck.
01:00:47.000 This is immigrant mentality.
01:00:49.000 We open at 6. We close at 10. We give away free bagels.
01:00:53.000 If you come at 6 o'clock.
01:00:55.000 And you gotta see it.
01:00:56.000 They're rocking and rolling.
01:00:57.000 And they're gonna sell those 200 milligram stars till people go down the fucking end.
01:01:03.000 Or the DEA comes in and shuts them down.
01:01:05.000 They don't give a fuck.
01:01:07.000 If you're on Ventura Boulevard, you gotta be really cool.
01:01:10.000 Because you're done.
01:01:11.000 I don't think there's anything wrong with having a limit on the number of milligrams if that's going to keep it legal.
01:01:17.000 And that's also probably for a lot of people.
01:01:18.000 No, they just created a black market.
01:01:20.000 They did.
01:01:20.000 They created a black market.
01:01:22.000 That's it.
01:01:22.000 You know how much it's going to cost the stars of that dude to stay open?
01:01:27.000 How much?
01:01:27.000 A half a mil.
01:01:28.000 Oh, my God.
01:01:29.000 Because it's $70,000 just for the license sheet money.
01:01:32.000 They take that paper up front.
01:01:34.000 They're like Led Zeppelin.
01:01:36.000 They're like Peter Grant in 1975. But look, the economy is going to improve and they're still going to kill it.
01:01:41.000 Oh, no, no.
01:01:41.000 The economy is going to improve.
01:01:43.000 But I'll tell you what, how much are they going to take right off the top?
01:01:46.000 Because they're banging.
01:01:47.000 They looked at Colorado's thing and said, listen, we're coming in with steroids.
01:01:51.000 We're coming in with THD. Forget what they're doing.
01:01:54.000 Listen to what we're doing.
01:01:55.000 Just to set shop now?
01:01:57.000 We don't care if you've been in business or not.
01:02:00.000 Just to set up shop, we've got to get a piece of the action.
01:02:03.000 But here's the thing.
01:02:03.000 It would be fine if they worked deals out with banks and made it easy and acceptable for these guys.
01:02:10.000 Oh, it's going to be acceptable now.
01:02:11.000 But it's right.
01:02:12.000 In a lot of places it wasn't.
01:02:13.000 They were dealing in cash.
01:02:15.000 They hired, especially in Colorado in the early days, they had to hire a lot of like spec ops guy.
01:02:20.000 I love saying spec ops.
01:02:21.000 Like, I know.
01:02:22.000 What the fuck I'm talking about?
01:02:23.000 It just sounds cool.
01:02:25.000 They would hire, like, former SEALs and shit, and they would have to carry the money to the bank because everybody knew there was, like, giant sums of cash.
01:02:34.000 So it made it very dangerous.
01:02:36.000 They weren't allowing them to use banks or credit cards, rather.
01:02:40.000 They weren't allowing them to, you know, sell weed with credit cards.
01:02:43.000 But they were selling weed and credit cards in L.A., medical.
01:02:46.000 The hot.
01:02:46.000 In the 90s.
01:02:47.000 The hot store, when you turned me on to my license, the hot store at the time, which they're not there no more.
01:02:55.000 That dude, at the height of it, was walking out of there every day with 25 grand by himself and his wife.
01:03:02.000 Wow, that's dangerous.
01:03:03.000 He was, but you know what, he was a dumb as fuck.
01:03:06.000 When the DA came, he had half that cash in the safe right then and there.
01:03:10.000 They just swooped on him.
01:03:11.000 I know a guy who got shot.
01:03:13.000 He was a really nice guy, and he used to work at the Englewood Wellness Center.
01:03:17.000 And this was the early days of the medical legalization.
01:03:22.000 It was like...
01:03:24.000 I want to say it's like somewhere around two ninety nine somewhere somewhere in that range two thousand ninety nine and He apparently was coming out with a big bag of cash and someone shot him right in the stomach Took his money.
01:03:36.000 They didn't take care of themselves.
01:03:38.000 Took all the cash.
01:03:39.000 There was nothing you could do.
01:03:39.000 You gotta hire people.
01:03:40.000 Yeah, you gotta hire people.
01:03:41.000 You gotta hire people.
01:03:42.000 You know, I see amateur mistakes constantly.
01:03:46.000 Yeah, I saw this Jamie.
01:03:48.000 I see amateur mistakes constantly.
01:03:50.000 For example, the store I'm talking about, he lost everything, Joe Rogan.
01:03:56.000 You want me to tell you why he lost everything?
01:03:58.000 Any weed he got, this guy was an exotic guy himself.
01:04:03.000 Like, he was a head.
01:04:05.000 When you're a head, you love when somebody brings you.
01:04:07.000 So he bought as much as he could.
01:04:09.000 I love that expression, a head.
01:04:11.000 He was a head.
01:04:11.000 Nobody uses that anymore.
01:04:12.000 They don't use that anymore.
01:04:13.000 So what he would do is, when you walked into this place, he would have 60 weeds on the wall.
01:04:21.000 And he kept all his weed on the property.
01:04:25.000 When the feds came, it was like stealing.
01:04:28.000 He had everything there.
01:04:29.000 Everything was there wide in the open.
01:04:31.000 You have to have an apartment and you have to have an amount.
01:04:35.000 Six ounces is all you should have of one weed.
01:04:38.000 If Jamie comes in and he wants eight ounces, give me ten minutes.
01:04:42.000 I got a pigeon that'll bring it over here in five minutes.
01:04:44.000 Right across the street there.
01:04:45.000 I got a little apartment with some stash there.
01:04:48.000 You have a couple safes.
01:04:50.000 If the cops ain't gonna let you deposit it, you gotta be fucking creative.
01:04:54.000 If you read all these guys' stories, the hardest thing is what to do with all the cash.
01:05:05.000 Think about that problem, Joe Rogan.
01:05:07.000 It's a real problem.
01:05:08.000 No, no, think about this room filled with $100.
01:05:12.000 What was the movie I just watched?
01:05:13.000 Escobar.
01:05:14.000 Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
01:05:15.000 Just on a plane.
01:05:16.000 When you're on a plane and Tom Cruise is on, you've got to give him the benefit of the doubt.
01:05:20.000 I got an edible in me.
01:05:22.000 I watched the Barry Seal thing.
01:05:24.000 How was it?
01:05:25.000 It's not an Academy Award winner, but it's very interesting when we're just burying money, Joe Rogan.
01:05:32.000 Four million in shot, like me and you are in the yard, like burying money, like a suitcase with hundred-dollar bills falling out of it, and you don't give a Frenchman's fuck.
01:05:43.000 I always wanted to know this.
01:05:45.000 Snopes this.
01:05:46.000 Did Barry Seale die with George Bush's phone number in his pocket?
01:05:49.000 That's what they always said.
01:05:50.000 And he died.
01:05:51.000 They shot him on the way to the trial with George Bush's phone number in his pocket.
01:05:55.000 Bro, he was top notch, that guy.
01:05:57.000 He had it all.
01:05:59.000 He's seen it, bro.
01:05:59.000 He took pictures of them loading a fucking plane in Nicaragua with Escobar and the top eight in Nicaragua.
01:06:10.000 They had him by the fucking balls.
01:06:13.000 No matter what, that took balls.
01:06:15.000 Fuck yeah, dude.
01:06:16.000 They fucked him in the ass.
01:06:17.000 They told him that they wouldn't release the pictures.
01:06:19.000 Then they released the pictures, which was douche, and that's why the guy got shot.
01:06:23.000 That's fucked up.
01:06:24.000 They should have taken him and hidden him.
01:06:26.000 He fucked him.
01:06:26.000 It's interesting, though.
01:06:27.000 They assassinated that guy.
01:06:28.000 That's a 100% assassination in connection to some sort of illegal government.
01:06:35.000 It was the fucking, what are you talking about?
01:06:38.000 That was Escobar that sent up Barry the message.
01:06:41.000 They had a deal where Barry Steeles could land though, right?
01:06:44.000 Like, it wasn't part of the thing with the people on the ground.
01:06:46.000 Right, on the ground.
01:06:47.000 That was in Maine, Arkansas, right?
01:06:48.000 Now, but here's the problem.
01:06:50.000 This is where Eddie Bravo comes in.
01:06:52.000 Right.
01:06:52.000 They were landing in those Everglades, and don't quote me on this, Eddie broke it down for me and somebody else broke it down for me, to be honest with you.
01:07:00.000 And they were allowing that on your boy's clock, Clinton's clock.
01:07:06.000 That's the theory.
01:07:08.000 That's what Joey Diaz drops out.
01:07:10.000 I don't know nothing about that.
01:07:11.000 Let me tell you the truth, because the truth is fascinating.
01:07:13.000 The truth is two boys were murdered.
01:07:15.000 And the coroner, the official report they gave to the parents was that they had fallen asleep on the train tracks.
01:07:24.000 So the parents pay for some sort of an autopsy and it's revealed that the kid had been stabbed and that one of them had been stabbed.
01:07:34.000 And then they find out that around that same area was where those guys would drop their drugs before they landed.
01:07:42.000 They would parachute down their drugs.
01:07:44.000 They would, like, and they would land.
01:07:47.000 And these guys, they would drop points where they would put their shit and then someone else would come by and pick it up on the ground.
01:07:52.000 Yeah, you had coordinates.
01:07:52.000 Right.
01:07:53.000 And these kids apparently saw something they weren't supposed to see, so they fucking murdered these kids with knives.
01:07:59.000 And then the coroner was all in on it.
01:08:01.000 So they had to conduct some sort of independence.
01:08:03.000 So that is what got this whole Barry Seals thing going.
01:08:07.000 It was this lady trying to figure out, this parent trying to figure out what happened to their kids.
01:08:12.000 It's a fucking crazy story.
01:08:13.000 You have to imagine, okay, that these guys were getting, you know, let's just draw a number.
01:08:20.000 I mean, I'm just an idiot, but let's just draw a number.
01:08:23.000 They were probably getting $4,000 per kilo.
01:08:28.000 What would they put on those planes?
01:08:30.000 And they were sending five of those planes over a day.
01:08:34.000 And dropping them into Louisiana.
01:08:36.000 Listen, I told you a thousand times in the podcast.
01:08:40.000 In 83, they found a bear dead next to a duffel bag filled with cocaine in Aspen, Colorado in the mountains.
01:08:49.000 Because they were dropping the fucking coke in the mountains.
01:08:52.000 And the bear ate the coke and he fucking OD'd.
01:08:55.000 His heart blew up.
01:08:57.000 Oh, what does this say?
01:08:58.000 Okay, Barry Seal.
01:09:00.000 Seal had organized a sting operation where he managed to get photographs of Pablo Escobar helping Nicaraguan soldiers to load 1,200 kilos of cocaine onto a C-123 military plane.
01:09:10.000 Soon afterwards, Reagan went on television with a photograph to denounce Sandinistas as drug smuggling, corrupting, dot, dot, dot.
01:09:18.000 That's how much he was getting for that fucking load.
01:09:21.000 $4,800,000 for one load.
01:09:24.000 Now here's the tricky thing.
01:09:25.000 Here's what really pisses me the fuck off.
01:09:30.000 That I see narcos and I see everything.
01:09:33.000 But now, this is your Uncle Joey talking to you, Joe Rogan.
01:09:36.000 Please show me the good side of Pablo Escobar.
01:09:38.000 No, no, no.
01:09:39.000 There's no good side to Pablo Escobar.
01:09:41.000 This ain't Lee Harvey Weinstein.
01:09:42.000 This is a story that we have never brought up.
01:09:47.000 But you have to assume, okay?
01:09:49.000 You see all these shows and the whole fucking thing, and they were in bed for sure with Nicaragua.
01:09:56.000 Yeah.
01:09:57.000 Now, who else was in bed with Nicaragua?
01:09:59.000 Let me ask you this.
01:10:00.000 Do you think that it is the actual CIA? Or is it people?
01:10:07.000 Let's not even say CIA. DEA, FBI. I made a bunch of fucking letters, put them together.
01:10:12.000 Is it the actual organization, whichever one it is, That's bringing it in.
01:10:18.000 Are they complicit?
01:10:20.000 Or are they just cowboys?
01:10:22.000 See, the theory's always been that there's been these few cowboys, corrupt guys.
01:10:26.000 Maybe they get too close to drug deals, too close to the drug deal.
01:10:30.000 And then sometimes they get seduced.
01:10:32.000 Like, there's many, many stories of undercover cops getting seduced by the actual lifestyle of being a criminal.
01:10:37.000 Young kids, they probably did a little crime themselves here or there.
01:10:40.000 They see some cops doing some dirty shit.
01:10:42.000 They see them some guys, you know.
01:10:43.000 There was that thing that came out about, was it Baltimore?
01:10:46.000 What is the city where cops came out in trial, they had kept toy guns on them to plant at the scene of a crime?
01:10:54.000 Like if they just decided to shoot someone, they plant a fucking toy gun?
01:10:57.000 We're talking in a big picture.
01:10:58.000 The big world picture, as an intelligent individual as you are, it was plain and simple.
01:11:04.000 The CIA wanted a piece of their action, and the DEA was tricked into going down to really control the war.
01:11:13.000 You can't be this...
01:11:14.000 I'm not saying you.
01:11:16.000 As an American, you can't be this dumb.
01:11:18.000 After all the research that we've done, all the research that we've done with General North, he was in on the package with Barry Seale, the whole fucking thing.
01:11:27.000 And here's where it gets even deeper.
01:11:29.000 Let's talk about the deepest subject that nobody ever even looked at.
01:11:33.000 And you have to think of, because I heard this story a thousand times.
01:11:36.000 There was a guy by the name of Carlos Laidere that he got crazy.
01:11:41.000 You know, they show him getting his dick sucked on the radio in Columbia and everything and all these TV shows.
01:11:48.000 No.
01:11:49.000 He was on an island snorting coke with long hair, talking like Jim Morrison, and having fucking threesomes, and the fucking, their own cartel gave Lader up to the Lalea to keep them off their back.
01:12:06.000 It was five partners.
01:12:08.000 It's me, you, Jamie, and Red Band.
01:12:11.000 But fucking Red Band's out there doing videos of him snorting coke with a fucking pigeon on his head.
01:12:17.000 We can't have this.
01:12:19.000 They gave the DEA fucking Carlos that calmed things down for a while.
01:12:24.000 In 83 and 84, when Reagan sent his troops down there, don't quote me on the dates here, but I will tell you as a professional cocaine sniffer what was going on.
01:12:37.000 In 85, the price of cocaine went skyrocketing.
01:12:40.000 And it wasn't because of cocaine skyrocketing.
01:12:46.000 It was because the cocaine was coming in, but the toughest part was getting the ether alcohol into Colombia to process it.
01:12:55.000 The Colombians had got a tip that the troops were coming down to raid their jungles.
01:13:00.000 Now, what they have not told you in all these shows and research, but this is what Uncle Joe is going to drop on you, is where do you think they took some labs to Nicaragua, and they shipped cocaine out of Nicaragua.
01:13:15.000 But guess who else partnered up with them, too?
01:13:17.000 Your buddy Fidel.
01:13:19.000 Fidel was shipping it in.
01:13:21.000 Yeah, he's gonna be on the podcast in three weeks.
01:13:24.000 Can you imagine having Fidel on your podcast?
01:13:26.000 You and Fidel, you would translate.
01:13:28.000 Oh my god!
01:13:29.000 This whole block would have snipers and fucking everybody.
01:13:33.000 Fidel just walked in with his suit and you had to teach him like a UFC move and shit.
01:13:41.000 Because Fidel would come in and ask you, Senor Rogan, dime como es que usted trabaja aquí?
01:13:47.000 Because they were, anyway.
01:13:48.000 He was a serious man.
01:13:49.000 I'd be very nervous in the presence of a guy like that.
01:13:52.000 Laidere said in front of Congress that he was getting $800,000.
01:13:57.000 He was giving Fidel $800,000 a shipload.
01:14:01.000 To come in under his flag at the time.
01:14:04.000 Can you imagine being in the presence of Fidel Castro?
01:14:06.000 Just being in his presence.
01:14:08.000 Like if he was, you know, in his prime.
01:14:10.000 If you're in the room with him in his prime, knowing how he ran Cuba.
01:14:13.000 You have no idea.
01:14:14.000 How he took it over.
01:14:15.000 You have no idea.
01:14:16.000 He would be terrifying to be around.
01:14:19.000 As a Cuban American, you have to hate the guy.
01:14:21.000 I have to hate him, but as a man that thinks, you have to see what his path was.
01:14:28.000 Crazy.
01:14:28.000 Again, that's where my man T.J. Inglis comes in with Havana Nocturne.
01:14:32.000 The revolution, how he started it in three different places at once.
01:14:39.000 The revolution, it just wasn't eight monkeys that put on gorilla suits and went to the mountains of Cuba.
01:14:45.000 He came to Jersey first, got arrested, went to Tampa, got arrested.
01:14:50.000 He was already passing out flyers.
01:14:53.000 They always confused Lee Harvey Oswald.
01:14:55.000 No, it wasn't Lee Harvey giving out pamphlets.
01:14:58.000 It was Fidel Castro giving out pamphlets.
01:15:00.000 That's a joke.
01:15:00.000 Please don't quote the CIA. It's a joke.
01:15:03.000 I'm not ratting you out.
01:15:05.000 Fidel Castro was in Union City, New Jersey.
01:15:07.000 I can't tell you the dates, but I can have my friend call into the podcast and tell you the story about Fidel talking to his mother on a daily when she would wait to get on the bus.
01:15:17.000 She was an Irish girl in Union City.
01:15:20.000 And she goes, I knew Fidel in 1952 in Union City.
01:15:25.000 Just think of what he did to the Italians.
01:15:27.000 He kicked everybody out.
01:15:29.000 He didn't give a fuck.
01:15:30.000 He goes, I got your casino.
01:15:31.000 Your casino's mine now.
01:15:32.000 It was a very brilliant move.
01:15:34.000 He started in the mountains.
01:15:36.000 He fucking...
01:15:38.000 He just took all the little villages.
01:15:42.000 And then he changed their minds.
01:15:45.000 Because first of all, it wasn't an easy thing.
01:15:49.000 For them to do.
01:15:50.000 Batista was really fucking the country.
01:15:52.000 He had really divided the country.
01:15:55.000 You have no idea what racism was until you were in Cuba in 1955. Black people weren't allowed in casinos.
01:16:02.000 You have no idea.
01:16:03.000 These poor people today, everybody's crying about it.
01:16:06.000 You have no idea what black rights were in Cuba for those black fucking people.
01:16:09.000 They got no rights.
01:16:11.000 So those people were poor.
01:16:12.000 There was such a high level of...
01:16:15.000 You see all these people dancing, but on the other side, There was fucking famine.
01:16:20.000 Like, people were fucking dying.
01:16:22.000 So they wanted a change.
01:16:24.000 Fidel came in there as a hero, first of all.
01:16:27.000 He came in as Cuba was gonna change, but then he switched it on him.
01:16:31.000 And he aligned with Russia, and he became a communist.
01:16:35.000 That's what made it worse.
01:16:37.000 That's what made it worse.
01:16:40.000 Racism and hunger has always existed in Cuba.
01:16:43.000 It did.
01:16:44.000 That was the problem.
01:16:45.000 That they always showed that party side of Cuba.
01:16:49.000 But that other side of the island, bro, there was people starving.
01:16:52.000 Wow.
01:16:53.000 And Batista, come on.
01:16:56.000 How did they keep up the tobacco production?
01:16:59.000 That I don't know.
01:17:00.000 Think of that, Joey.
01:17:02.000 Through all that, they had the best cigars in the world.
01:17:04.000 But people are complaining now that they're not the same cigars.
01:17:08.000 Some people are complaining, but a lot of people are getting frauds, apparently.
01:17:11.000 Apparently, when you buy Cuban cigars from untrusty people, you could definitely get some fakes.
01:17:16.000 Because now they're talking about how the soil...
01:17:18.000 Is it rich?
01:17:19.000 Like, people will go there.
01:17:20.000 Somebody's an expert.
01:17:21.000 Oh, Bobby Kelly.
01:17:22.000 Bobby Kelly's a real expert.
01:17:24.000 Like, he was on Ari Shafir's podcast.
01:17:26.000 They were talking about cigars.
01:17:28.000 Bobby Kelly really knows his shit.
01:17:30.000 Like, he was going in-depth about how many fake cigars there are and how he could even kind of taste a fake Cuban.
01:17:37.000 He smoked so many cigars.
01:17:38.000 And he thought maybe one of Ari's was fake.
01:17:40.000 He's like, it might be fake.
01:17:41.000 And he goes, no, I think this is real.
01:17:42.000 I think this is real.
01:17:43.000 Like, he's like that discerning about that shit.
01:17:46.000 Huh.
01:17:47.000 There's a lot of weird freaks when it comes to cigars.
01:17:50.000 People are super into them.
01:17:52.000 They get you high as fuck, too.
01:17:54.000 This is something that people aren't talking about.
01:17:56.000 You smoke a cigar, you're like, woo!
01:17:59.000 There's so much nicotine in that thing.
01:18:01.000 And then you add the Cuban coffee to it.
01:18:03.000 That's how the whole process is supposed to go down, with the Cuban coffee and the fucking cigar.
01:18:08.000 And you go deep, deep, deep.
01:18:11.000 And all you need is a little taste of an edible and a half an alpha brain, and you'll be there.
01:18:16.000 You'll get there, Jack.
01:18:19.000 Dave Chappelle smokes it sometimes with cigarettes in it.
01:18:23.000 We did it the other night in the back of the Comedy Store with cigarettes.
01:18:26.000 And I've only done that a couple of times.
01:18:29.000 Tobacco and a cigar with THC. Woo!
01:18:31.000 You get elevated.
01:18:33.000 It was interesting.
01:18:35.000 I got one time from San Francisco to Reno.
01:18:37.000 One time from San Francisco to Reno, dog, the cops were looking for me in San Francisco.
01:18:42.000 And you go down to any of those tourist districts, and they have like a bus that'll take you to Reno.
01:18:47.000 So I just jumped on the bus to Reno with this chick.
01:18:51.000 And this is 1985, and we're sitting in the bus, and there's this Egyptian kid.
01:18:56.000 I'll never forget this.
01:18:57.000 And the back of the...
01:18:58.000 You could smoke on the bus in those days, cigarettes.
01:19:01.000 So he had rolled...
01:19:04.000 A blunt with hash, weed, and tobacco in it, guys.
01:19:10.000 And I had never done that before, guys.
01:19:12.000 I'm not going to lie.
01:19:13.000 I had never even...
01:19:14.000 I took two hits of that fucking thing, dog.
01:19:16.000 I had a puke in that bathroom.
01:19:18.000 I got high as fuck.
01:19:20.000 But that combination together, the tobacco, the weed, the hash, he had the real hash on him.
01:19:27.000 Yeah, that's too much for Uncle Joey.
01:19:29.000 That's a bit much for Uncle Joey, Jack.
01:19:32.000 Oh.
01:19:32.000 The first time I ever smoked a spliff was with Charlie Murphy.
01:19:36.000 Charlie Murphy rolled them.
01:19:38.000 His cousin Richard rolled them too.
01:19:40.000 He would take Swisher Sweets, old school, you know, any kind of cigar paper, and they would turn it into a joint with the cigar paper.
01:19:51.000 Which is like, you inhale weed.
01:19:53.000 You never really inhale those cigars.
01:19:56.000 You just kind of get them in your mouth, and you taste it, then you blow it out.
01:19:59.000 But when you take a drag of weed, you open your lungs up and fill your lungs with the smoke.
01:20:04.000 Cigar smoke's too harsh for that.
01:20:06.000 You don't smoke it like that for the most part.
01:20:09.000 Most people don't.
01:20:10.000 But when you do it with pot, you do.
01:20:12.000 So you get this crazy blast of nicotine and a crazy blast of weed.
01:20:17.000 And you're like, wow!
01:20:20.000 It's very different than just weed.
01:20:22.000 I think I smoked, yeah, last night on the podcast.
01:20:24.000 I took two hits off.
01:20:25.000 A friend of mine gave me one of those.
01:20:26.000 I like those.
01:20:27.000 And it was pretty fucking intense.
01:20:29.000 I'm scared of them.
01:20:30.000 I'm scared of them.
01:20:31.000 I like the ones with cigarettes in them.
01:20:33.000 I'm scared.
01:20:35.000 No, no, no.
01:20:36.000 I don't want no smoking.
01:20:37.000 No, I'm not smoking cigarettes, but the ones with cigarettes in them, it's an interesting little high.
01:20:41.000 It's like, ooh, this is a new door to the room.
01:20:44.000 It's interesting.
01:20:45.000 See, that's what, like, smoking, one of the hardest things I ever gave up was smoking cigarettes after you smoke a joint.
01:20:52.000 Right.
01:20:53.000 That is just pure brilliance.
01:20:58.000 When you hit a fucking joint, and you take a little sip of coffee, and after you smoke that Toots or Doots, you light up a Marlboro, some light.
01:21:07.000 It's life fucking changing, bro.
01:21:09.000 I know a lot of people love them after a real good meal.
01:21:13.000 Well, it's the whole package.
01:21:15.000 Is that what it is?
01:21:15.000 Oh, my God.
01:21:16.000 Let me ask you.
01:21:17.000 A meal?
01:21:17.000 A meal.
01:21:18.000 A joint?
01:21:19.000 And then a cigarette?
01:21:21.000 And then another cigarette and a cup of coffee on top of that and some dessert.
01:21:25.000 Then another cigarette?
01:21:27.000 You have no fucking idea.
01:21:28.000 Cigarettes scare the shit out of me.
01:21:30.000 Oh, please.
01:21:30.000 They scare the shit out of everybody.
01:21:32.000 I can't smoke them.
01:21:33.000 Tony's hooked.
01:21:34.000 My blood pressure will be 2,000 over 80. Tony says he can quit at any time.
01:21:38.000 No, you cannot.
01:21:39.000 No, you cannot.
01:21:39.000 I don't think so, little fella.
01:21:40.000 And you know what?
01:21:41.000 What was the best?
01:21:42.000 What I realized was two years ago I shot something and I smoked that night.
01:21:48.000 I asked one of the camera guys, let me fucking give me a cigarette.
01:21:51.000 And that next morning was when I realized how really fucking bad they are.
01:21:56.000 You felt terrible?
01:21:57.000 How many did you have?
01:21:59.000 One?
01:21:59.000 Two.
01:22:00.000 Two cigarettes?
01:22:00.000 Two Marlboro Lights, and I was fine that night.
01:22:03.000 You did one night at a comedy club, and I was like, what the fuck is going on?
01:22:06.000 Every now and then I want to smoke.
01:22:08.000 The fuck?
01:22:09.000 No, no, I'll never do it again.
01:22:11.000 After that night in Chicago, I'll never do it again.
01:22:13.000 I took one of Tony's ones before his show.
01:22:15.000 It's interesting.
01:22:17.000 Cigarettes are interesting.
01:22:18.000 It does a weird little thing to your brain.
01:22:20.000 Yes, it does.
01:22:20.000 Yes, it does.
01:22:21.000 One of the reasons why I did it is because I read something about nootropics, talking about different vitamins, like what's good for brain function, and one of the things they said that nicotine, nicotine is actually a nootropic, and that They found that some people under the use of tobacco, with the use of tobacco,
01:22:37.000 they achieve like an elevated state of like certain functions of the brain.
01:22:44.000 Like it actually has some sort of a small measurable effect.
01:22:47.000 So it really does stimulate the way your brain works.
01:22:50.000 See for me it's different.
01:22:51.000 It's the combination.
01:22:53.000 Yeah.
01:22:53.000 That's for me.
01:22:55.000 I wouldn't just enjoy right now.
01:22:57.000 A cigarette by itself.
01:22:59.000 But a cigarette with the weed.
01:23:00.000 But if that coffee was brewing hot right now, and it was maybe 60 degrees outside with a little bit of wind and sunlight, you know when you stand out in the sun, you're warm, but when you're in the breeze, you're a little cool?
01:23:12.000 Yeah.
01:23:13.000 You go outside, and a good joint of some fucking tremendous reefer with the sun hitting your face, And you take a nice hit of a cigarette, all combined, or even...
01:23:24.000 I like what I do.
01:23:26.000 I'll do a cup of coffee, I'll pop a fucking number and then a little nicotine gum to give you a little guts, some blood pressure medication on top of that.
01:23:37.000 All together, it all works out.
01:23:39.000 You know what I'm saying?
01:23:39.000 If you take them apart, nothing really happens.
01:23:42.000 I get it.
01:23:42.000 But together, that's where you put the mofungo in.
01:23:45.000 Yeah.
01:23:46.000 For me, it's a small shot of Jack Daniels and one to two hits of a joint before a Comedy Store set.
01:23:53.000 Tremendous.
01:23:54.000 Tremendous.
01:23:55.000 Just a little tap.
01:23:56.000 To taste, yeah.
01:23:57.000 Just a little.
01:23:58.000 Yikes!
01:24:00.000 One hit is really preferred.
01:24:02.000 It's a smart move.
01:24:04.000 Two hits is if you're feeling it.
01:24:06.000 I did a tequila the other night.
01:24:10.000 Three points, not bad.
01:24:12.000 Oh, with your Weight Watchers.
01:24:13.000 How long are you doing the Weight Watchers?
01:24:15.000 I started December 9th.
01:24:16.000 Wow.
01:24:17.000 I went from 309 to 296 so far.
01:24:20.000 That's excellent.
01:24:20.000 But you know what, bro?
01:24:21.000 Here's the stupid thing, Joe Rogan.
01:24:23.000 Here's the dumbest thing in the world.
01:24:25.000 I got sick and tired of people saying how clean their diet was.
01:24:28.000 You don't know dick until you go to Weight Watchers.
01:24:32.000 Listen, you want me to tell you what the new Weight Watchers is?
01:24:33.000 You ready?
01:24:34.000 It's different?
01:24:34.000 It's Mike Dolce.
01:24:36.000 Oh, okay.
01:24:37.000 Chicken breast.
01:24:40.000 I come to your house tonight and you go, Joey, what do you want?
01:24:43.000 Give me two chicken breasts.
01:24:45.000 Just a marination.
01:24:46.000 I got to watch how you marinate it.
01:24:47.000 Who gots?
01:24:48.000 Zero points.
01:24:51.000 Zero.
01:24:52.000 Ogats.
01:24:52.000 Beans.
01:24:53.000 All types.
01:24:54.000 Zero.
01:24:55.000 Corn.
01:24:56.000 Zero.
01:24:57.000 What costs money?
01:24:58.000 Or what costs points?
01:25:00.000 Beef.
01:25:00.000 Beef.
01:25:01.000 Beef does.
01:25:03.000 Nineteen for- A bunch of limp-aristed pussies over there.
01:25:05.000 No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:25:06.000 That's what I'm hearing.
01:25:06.000 But if you look at it- If you look at it, bro, check this out.
01:25:10.000 You know, you do jujitsu, 30 minutes, it's 16 fucking points.
01:25:15.000 They fit it in.
01:25:16.000 You get extra points.
01:25:18.000 You add points.
01:25:18.000 See, I tried thinking about it.
01:25:20.000 I'm going, wait a second, guys.
01:25:21.000 That's smart.
01:25:21.000 Wait a second, guys.
01:25:22.000 I'm doing kettlebells.
01:25:23.000 I'm swinging bats.
01:25:24.000 I'm hitting the bag.
01:25:25.000 I'm walking around the park.
01:25:27.000 I'm still gaining weight.
01:25:28.000 Something's not right.
01:25:29.000 So it's like the butter.
01:25:32.000 I don't use butter no more.
01:25:33.000 I could eat my piece of wheat toast.
01:25:35.000 With my eggs?
01:25:36.000 Oh, you ready for this one?
01:25:37.000 You'd be better off the other way.
01:25:38.000 Ready for this one?
01:25:39.000 You'd be better off throwing away the toast and just eating the butter.
01:25:41.000 I gotta have my toast.
01:25:43.000 Yeah, but eat the butter.
01:25:44.000 Butter's good for you, especially if it's grass-fed butter.
01:25:46.000 Here's the thing.
01:25:46.000 I get egg yolks.
01:25:48.000 Egg yolks are great.
01:25:49.000 Yeah.
01:25:49.000 I eat egg yolks.
01:25:50.000 No egg whites.
01:25:51.000 I cut around them.
01:25:52.000 You had a bit about that.
01:25:54.000 There's a thing in the news yesterday where they were saying that people only eating egg whites is a tremendous health disservice.
01:26:01.000 Listen, five years ago, don't take a fucking moron to type.
01:26:06.000 Twenty years ago, nobody was getting concussions, nobody was getting soft, nobody was getting their feelings hurt, especially men.
01:26:14.000 All of a sudden, I saw people started eating egg whites, and I saw a big rise, and people having a hard time getting their wives pregnant.
01:26:22.000 All of a sudden, I saw commercials about erectile dysfunction.
01:26:27.000 Men never talked about having...
01:26:29.000 Men talked about dog.
01:26:30.000 I did some blow the other night, and I didn't get my dick hard.
01:26:33.000 Now, all of a sudden, there's a commercial on national TV, on primetime, some fucking guy saying that.
01:26:40.000 And also, they started dropping That low testosterone shit.
01:26:44.000 And I'm telling you, dog, one thing about Uncle Joey, I've always loved egg yolks.
01:26:50.000 I don't even like mixing them.
01:26:52.000 I think it's bad for...
01:26:54.000 Really?
01:26:54.000 I don't even like scrambled eggs.
01:26:56.000 I'll eat them if you make them.
01:26:57.000 If you make them nice to me with a little sour cream and a little milk and do it right...
01:27:03.000 I like it, but I don't like just prison.
01:27:05.000 I got to see the yolk.
01:27:06.000 I got a rule.
01:27:07.000 When you take me for breakfast, I always got to see the yolk.
01:27:10.000 So I cut around it.
01:27:12.000 The other day, the waitress said to me, you've been coming here for a long time.
01:27:15.000 You do not touch the white.
01:27:17.000 And she goes, I mean, you do not touch it.
01:27:20.000 I have become like a surgeon with that knife.
01:27:23.000 I get the yolk perfectly.
01:27:25.000 I take that wheat toast now.
01:27:27.000 I don't even eat the whole two slices of wheat toast.
01:27:30.000 I only eat a half a wheat toast.
01:27:32.000 I take one egg yolk and put it on one side, and I eat the whole thing, like Robert De Niro ate the fucking egg in Angel Heart when he wanted to scare Mickey Rourke.
01:27:43.000 That's how I do it.
01:27:45.000 I put a piece of bacon in my mouth, and then I take the other piece of wheat toast, put the egg yolk on that.
01:27:50.000 I take the other piece of bacon, and I eat my fruit, and that's fucking it.
01:27:55.000 That's beautiful.
01:27:55.000 I gotta eat the egg yolk, though.
01:27:57.000 And you could eat three egg yolks, but you could also scramble four eggs, get a tortilla, put black beans in it and salsa.
01:28:04.000 All that costs you is the fucking tortilla, dog.
01:28:08.000 Wow.
01:28:08.000 Four points for the tortilla.
01:28:11.000 You can have a four-fucking-point breakfast, I need a bowl of fruit, and you're brand-fucking-new, dog.
01:28:16.000 It's amazing out here.
01:28:16.000 Look at this scene.
01:28:17.000 That's a great scene.
01:28:18.000 He used the devil with his creepy fingernails, remember?
01:28:21.000 De Niro was such a motherfucker.
01:28:23.000 These two guys were such motherfuckers.
01:28:25.000 It's so funny.
01:28:26.000 I'm from Brooklyn.
01:28:26.000 How crazy.
01:28:27.000 I don't believe in that mumbo jumbo.
01:28:29.000 I mean, these guys were the best, man.
01:28:32.000 He just told them, do you believe that the egg is the symbol of the soul in some religions?
01:28:37.000 Look at him.
01:28:37.000 You see how scared he was?
01:28:38.000 Phenomenal.
01:28:39.000 But his face, when he's eating that egg.
01:28:43.000 Show me that again.
01:28:44.000 That's a brief, but look at Mickey Rourke's face.
01:28:46.000 Mickey Rourke was shitting the pickle.
01:28:47.000 He's a handsome fella.
01:28:49.000 Poor fucking Mickey Rourke.
01:28:50.000 Look at his face.
01:28:51.000 Not exaggerated.
01:28:56.000 That's the devil.
01:28:58.000 That's about as good as a human being is ever gonna do an impression of what the devil would look like if he was a human being.
01:29:04.000 Seriously?
01:29:04.000 Yeah, he wouldn't be freaking you out.
01:29:06.000 Who else played the devil?
01:29:07.000 Al Pacino?
01:29:08.000 Yeah, Al Pacino!
01:29:10.000 When he would do those crazy devil rants!
01:29:13.000 He would run around.
01:29:14.000 Remember?
01:29:15.000 It was all that, like every movie had to have a rant.
01:29:18.000 I'm sick and fucking tired!
01:29:21.000 Right?
01:29:23.000 He went through a whole period of time where his rants were so powerful.
01:29:26.000 They're like, ow, ow, ow.
01:29:27.000 Here's where we're gonna put the rant.
01:29:29.000 Right here.
01:29:30.000 His rants were fucking phenomenal.
01:29:33.000 I mean, Al Pacino is Scarface.
01:29:37.000 Right?
01:29:39.000 I mean, who has more epic screaming rants in film history than Al Pacino?
01:29:45.000 I'd say zero people.
01:29:46.000 I'm going to tell you something else about Al Pacino.
01:29:48.000 Look at him.
01:29:49.000 Nobody's hit a bitch as hard ever on TV on Harder Pacino.
01:29:53.000 He smacked his sister in Scarface.
01:29:56.000 And he smacked that chick in the godfather when she told him she had an abortion.
01:29:59.000 Yeah, like really smacked him.
01:30:01.000 Yeah, he really had a blast him.
01:30:03.000 Dude, it looks scary.
01:30:04.000 Like, he looks like he hit her.
01:30:06.000 Like, it looks like if you're an actress and you never got hit like that before, you'd be like, oh my god.
01:30:10.000 Remember Steve McGreen and Ally McGraw?
01:30:13.000 Yeah, that was real.
01:30:14.000 That was real.
01:30:14.000 That wasn't even supposed to be in the scene, right?
01:30:16.000 No, he smacked her just out of principle.
01:30:17.000 Have you ever seen that scene, Jamie?
01:30:18.000 I think we should have.
01:30:19.000 Oh, we showed it before.
01:30:20.000 We are so repetitive.
01:30:22.000 No, no, no, no.
01:30:22.000 That's weed, folks.
01:30:23.000 That's what you get.
01:30:24.000 You get the fun stuff, but you also get shit memory of about a thousand million hours.
01:30:28.000 I also heard that fucking De Niro played a good Dracula.
01:30:32.000 Oh, yeah.
01:30:33.000 Oh, no.
01:30:34.000 No, Gary Oldman.
01:30:34.000 No, no, Gary Oldman.
01:30:35.000 I'm very sorry.
01:30:36.000 No, but didn't De Niro play the Dracula in something?
01:30:39.000 No, he played Frankenstein.
01:30:40.000 De Niro played Frankenstein once.
01:30:42.000 Was he any good?
01:30:43.000 That was a terrible movie.
01:30:44.000 It was one of those ones where you're like, wait, what?
01:30:48.000 It was weird.
01:30:49.000 Actually, he was pretty good as a monster, though.
01:30:51.000 These are all the actors that played the devil in different movies.
01:30:55.000 What was Kaiser Sosa?
01:30:56.000 He wasn't the devil, right?
01:30:58.000 Yeah.
01:30:59.000 Was he?
01:31:00.000 Sure.
01:31:01.000 Wow, a lot of people.
01:31:02.000 Jennifer Love Hewitt played the devil?
01:31:05.000 Jesus Christ.
01:31:06.000 John Ritter played the devil.
01:31:07.000 John Ritter did a couple episodes of news radio.
01:31:10.000 Look at that dude.
01:31:11.000 At least one.
01:31:12.000 Hold on, hold on.
01:31:12.000 Look at Vincent Price, bro.
01:31:15.000 Vincent Price was fucking just amazing.
01:31:18.000 He really was, man.
01:31:21.000 Some of those movies, he did like two movies that really scared the shit out of me.
01:31:26.000 Yeah, what did he do?
01:31:27.000 Which movies did he do?
01:31:29.000 Oh, man.
01:31:31.000 There were two movies.
01:31:32.000 I'm trying to remember.
01:31:34.000 There was a lot of really fun movies back then that if you watch today, you're like, what the fuck was I thinking?
01:31:39.000 He was definitely on Batman, right?
01:31:41.000 What was he on Batman?
01:31:43.000 House on Haunted Hill.
01:31:45.000 There's his thing.
01:31:46.000 House of Wax.
01:31:47.000 That was a big one.
01:31:49.000 House of Wax was a big one.
01:31:52.000 The Last Man on Earth.
01:31:54.000 He was always thought of as that real, good, creepy actor guy who's good in scary movies.
01:32:04.000 What's his IMDB? I wonder if he was in Batman.
01:32:08.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:32:08.000 I wonder if he was in Batman.
01:32:10.000 He was in something.
01:32:12.000 Isn't it funny how a guy gets synonymous with a genre of movies?
01:32:16.000 Like Vincent Price, you think of it, oh, scary movies.
01:32:18.000 There's a few guys like that.
01:32:20.000 You think of their name, oh, scary movie.
01:32:22.000 John Romero, scary movie.
01:32:25.000 Dawn of the Dead.
01:32:28.000 That's film.
01:32:30.000 No TV on there?
01:32:31.000 That's his name, right?
01:32:32.000 John Romero?
01:32:33.000 Yeah, exactly.
01:32:34.000 No, John Romero did what?
01:32:36.000 George Romero.
01:32:37.000 John Romero is a guy who was a game developer in the early days of Doom.
01:32:43.000 He was with id Software.
01:32:45.000 Like Doom and Quake and those kind of games.
01:32:48.000 Now, George Romero was the guy that...
01:32:51.000 On paper, officially started this whole zombie fucking shit.
01:32:54.000 Pretty much, right?
01:32:55.000 When we were kids, he had Dawn of the Dead and the other one.
01:32:59.000 Dog, he has a scene in one of those.
01:33:02.000 It had to be 1975. I was maybe 12 years old, maybe 13. One of those came out.
01:33:10.000 And we took a hit of acid.
01:33:11.000 And we all went to the movie theater on a Saturday, take the number one bus to Jersey City, and they would play two of these movies.
01:33:18.000 Dawn of the Dead and something else creepy.
01:33:20.000 Night of the Living Dead.
01:33:21.000 Or something fucking creeped out.
01:33:24.000 Night of the Living Dead was the first one.
01:33:25.000 And there's one scene where the black guy's going for the helicopter and he just chops his head off.
01:33:31.000 Jesus fucking Christ, that I run out of there.
01:33:34.000 Those both movies were scared of the living.
01:33:36.000 I don't know how many times I took the number one bus to go to Jersey City to the Journal Square.
01:33:42.000 There was a movie theater, that's where I saw Richard Pryor live at the Sunset Strip the first time on a Friday night.
01:33:49.000 I got stabbed.
01:33:51.000 Jesus Christ, you got stabbed?
01:33:53.000 I got caught, I still got the scar.
01:33:55.000 That's where I saw the Pink Panther movies.
01:33:58.000 That was my first genre into getting high.
01:34:01.000 And go into the movies.
01:34:02.000 Like, I knew I couldn't go to the movies in North Perkins or Union City because I'd bump into one of my mother's friends or something.
01:34:10.000 So me and my little goombas figured out if we went to Jersey City, we could get on the bus, cause a little drama, get a six-pack, split it four ways, and smoke a joint and go into those movies and giggle and act like an asshole.
01:34:23.000 We also went down to see the Groove Tube and Kentucky Fried movie.
01:34:31.000 Kentucky Fried Movie was a genre that started before Saturday Night Live.
01:34:37.000 And there was a movie put together by a bunch of sketches.
01:34:40.000 But one of the famous sketches is they're in a courtroom.
01:34:44.000 And, uh...
01:34:46.000 And there's a gorilla fucking people up.
01:34:48.000 Yeah, they would just say different stupid things.
01:34:51.000 And the fucking guy got...
01:34:53.000 Yeah, there was nudity.
01:34:54.000 They had titties.
01:34:55.000 Yeah, they didn't fuck around.
01:34:56.000 You could never do this movie today.
01:34:58.000 It's on YouTube, by the way.
01:34:59.000 This was on HBO when we were kids.
01:35:00.000 Don't be a rat, Jamie.
01:35:02.000 Whatever.
01:35:02.000 Oh my God, look at this.
01:35:03.000 Yeah, this was on HBO. So you had to talk your mother into getting HBO because GrooveTube or Kentucky Fried Movie was going to be on.
01:35:11.000 And they were hilarious.
01:35:12.000 You could never have this movie today.
01:35:14.000 Yes, you could.
01:35:14.000 I'm getting triggered.
01:35:15.000 Yes, you could.
01:35:16.000 You could do this movie.
01:35:17.000 They don't have the balls to do this movie today.
01:35:20.000 Girls are getting pied in the ass.
01:35:21.000 Look at this.
01:35:23.000 Look at this shit.
01:35:24.000 This is crazy.
01:35:25.000 You could never do this in a movie today.
01:35:26.000 In a regular movie, they would never allow that.
01:35:28.000 Catholic high school girls in trouble, and the guy's banging a girl in the shower, and you see her tits pressing up against the glass.
01:35:34.000 Legitimately seeing everything.
01:35:35.000 American Pie was not...
01:35:37.000 I mean, it's not a sketch thing, but it wasn't too far different.
01:35:39.000 No, but even American Pie, I think you'd struggle to do that now.
01:35:43.000 I think the climate shifted so hard.
01:35:44.000 No, no, no.
01:35:45.000 There's still a part of America that loves this type of humor.
01:35:49.000 Joe Rogan, no.
01:35:50.000 Do you know they took F1 grid girls out of Formula 1 racing?
01:35:55.000 The grid girls?
01:35:56.000 Like, hot women?
01:35:57.000 No, no, no.
01:35:57.000 They took them out, and now they're petitioning to take Octagon girls out.
01:36:01.000 Mm-hmm.
01:36:02.000 And ring card girls.
01:36:04.000 They're saying, like, we need to stop this.
01:36:06.000 They're like, what are you talking about?
01:36:07.000 This is how we make a living, stupid.
01:36:08.000 Like, what?
01:36:10.000 It's the objectification of women.
01:36:13.000 I think if you can have Chippendales, and you can have, I think you should have ring card boys.
01:36:20.000 See who gets hired.
01:36:22.000 Joey, what happened?
01:36:25.000 These people are crazy.
01:36:27.000 People are losing their mind.
01:36:27.000 You made a point the other day with those two young men that, and I don't want to quote you, you said something about that somebody got mad at people with their vagina hats.
01:36:40.000 Black women are mad at vagina hats.
01:36:42.000 Transgender supporters were mad because it represents the Women's March and not everyone who's a woman has a vagina.
01:36:50.000 That was their upset that it's transphobic.
01:36:53.000 I'm fucking as much as an American as you are, I'm fucking done.
01:36:57.000 I'm done.
01:36:58.000 I'm done.
01:36:58.000 I don't know what else to do anymore.
01:37:00.000 I mean, three months ago, some guy came out with a brilliant movie, Stephen King, that scared everybody.
01:37:08.000 Did he not?
01:37:08.000 It was the number one film about a clown.
01:37:11.000 And all of a sudden, there was a parade.
01:37:13.000 You know, they got together.
01:37:14.000 Clowns marched in protection of clowns because ever since that movie came out, a bunch of clowns lost their jobs.
01:37:22.000 Oh, my God.
01:37:23.000 In the spring.
01:37:23.000 Like, they were booked for the fall.
01:37:25.000 So they, you know, we're getting to something now that's just totally out of control.
01:37:31.000 I read the Amy Schumer thing with Anzi Ansari.
01:37:35.000 I read...
01:37:37.000 You know, you try to not avoid everything, but it's right in front of you.
01:37:42.000 Every day there's something else.
01:37:44.000 You're just waiting for the fucking shoe to drop every day.
01:37:48.000 I am going to continue to be who I am, Joe Rogan, on stage and on stage.
01:37:53.000 I don't really give a fuck about sensitivity.
01:37:56.000 I can't.
01:37:57.000 I'm a stand-up.
01:37:58.000 I don't have time.
01:37:59.000 I feel you.
01:37:59.000 I think about it.
01:38:00.000 I also watched a podcast of you with Brendan and Brian, and you talked about something that didn't happen to me.
01:38:10.000 No, no.
01:38:10.000 It did happen to me, where I was at a children's school at a fair, and I tried to turn it into a bid.
01:38:19.000 I just couldn't sell it.
01:38:20.000 To be funny, a kid was playing in front of me and I could tell there was something not right with the child.
01:38:27.000 And some other child called him a faggot.
01:38:29.000 And the kid's mother came up and she goes, he's not a faggot, he's a transgender.
01:38:33.000 And then the mother came up to me, I'm high as fuck.
01:38:36.000 How old were you?
01:38:39.000 This is three months ago.
01:38:40.000 Okay.
01:38:41.000 This is three months ago at a park.
01:38:42.000 You know, before you go to those events, you get tuned up, and you put Visine in your eyes, and you go down there, and you try to be as nice as you can as a parent, but you try to avoid talking to a lot of people.
01:38:52.000 Your wife does all the talking.
01:38:54.000 You just sit there and wave to people.
01:38:56.000 Hi, how are you?
01:38:57.000 Who do you think is going to win Machida?
01:38:59.000 Yeah, Machida.
01:39:00.000 And you're just watching the girls.
01:39:02.000 You know what I'm saying?
01:39:02.000 You try to do that, but there's always something at those events that you get back in the car with your wife and go, Mrs. Rogan, what the fuck was that about?
01:39:12.000 And then they'll break it down for you.
01:39:14.000 Tell me I'm lying to you.
01:39:15.000 At every fucking thing, it's like you were talking about the people believing the earth, that there was no Adam and Eve.
01:39:21.000 That's what I'm starting to, when you were telling that bit, I didn't know what the fuck you were talking about.
01:39:26.000 I go, who does he hang out with?
01:39:27.000 This is What's he hanging out with this poor bastard?
01:39:31.000 But now that I have a child that's five, I'm getting out to see different people's views that are my age.
01:39:37.000 And this lady came up to me and gave me a whole ear beat.
01:39:40.000 How the kid is 15, they have him on medication, and he's known he was a woman since he was nine.
01:39:50.000 But then she fucked up Joe Rogan.
01:39:52.000 She said she always wanted a girl anyway.
01:39:54.000 Oh, Jesus.
01:39:55.000 But you guys are talking about something about there was somebody that got in trouble for a three-year-old giving them blockers.
01:40:01.000 I don't know nothing about that world.
01:40:03.000 I know nothing.
01:40:04.000 Owen Benjamin got in trouble.
01:40:05.000 Got fired from his agency.
01:40:07.000 They dropped him because he was tweeting a bunch of shit about someone using hormone blockers on a three-year-old.
01:40:12.000 He's like, this is crazy.
01:40:14.000 What I listened to that day and where I live, I thought my head was going to blow up.
01:40:19.000 And when she came over and explained why he was going to be a...
01:40:22.000 And again, I have nothing against transgenders or anything.
01:40:26.000 Here's my thing.
01:40:26.000 If a kid is behaving a certain way...
01:40:29.000 Let him keep behaving that way.
01:40:30.000 You don't have to fucking throw hormones in the mix.
01:40:32.000 You don't even know what's gonna happen when you do that.
01:40:34.000 You're gonna change who he is.
01:40:36.000 So you're telling me that he has this urge to take hormones that are not native in his body in the same amount.
01:40:41.000 He's this urge to do this, so we should just let him do it.
01:40:44.000 No, he has an urge to be identified as a woman.
01:40:47.000 Like, you don't even have to do anything to do that.
01:40:51.000 If you just decide you identify as a woman.
01:40:54.000 Most people are going to be cool with it.
01:40:55.000 We're saying that a child has to take some chemicals in the middle of their developmental cycle.
01:41:01.000 This is the only way we can do this.
01:41:02.000 This is the smart way?
01:41:03.000 This is the smart way.
01:41:04.000 When they're 6 or 16 or whatever it is.
01:41:07.000 That's crazy.
01:41:08.000 That doesn't make sense from a developmental standpoint.
01:41:11.000 I'm not a scientist, but I understand enough about the stages that the human being goes through before it reaches adulthood.
01:41:18.000 You're not really completely formed until you're 20 years old or 25 years old or something like that.
01:41:23.000 It's like the frontal cortex doesn't form until you're 25. So your decision making is always a little weird until you're about 25. Who the fuck knows what the fuck they want to be at 15 or 16?
01:41:31.000 But you definitely don't know at 6 or at 3. No.
01:41:34.000 That's crazy.
01:41:35.000 She said that he knew at 9. Come on.
01:41:36.000 And I went home and I told my wife.
01:41:39.000 My wife said, well, you got to watch a show every week on A&E. There's a show about kids that want to, you know, make the job.
01:41:46.000 Listen, it doesn't matter.
01:41:48.000 It's just that I'm trying to tell you that I'm finding out about shit now that...
01:41:53.000 But you know what's weird?
01:41:56.000 If someone feels a certain way, they feel they are a certain way, why do they have to take chemicals to achieve a new state?
01:42:04.000 They identify with being a woman, so they have to take chemicals to reach this state.
01:42:09.000 I think, man, if I was a person who was a transgender person listening to me talk, I'd be like, shut the fuck up, you don't know shit about that.
01:42:18.000 I bet a lot of you cheered.
01:42:19.000 If you're listening to this.
01:42:20.000 But all I'm saying is that this is a very unusual situation.
01:42:25.000 It's very unusual.
01:42:27.000 I don't think it's a bad thing, but I think that...
01:42:32.000 Doing it to someone who really can't fully make up their mind yet just seems insanely risky, and what could happen to the kid could be terrible.
01:42:43.000 And people have made successful transitions when they transitioned in their 30s.
01:42:47.000 You don't have to do it when you're 6. If you want to be a transgender person in your 30s, Sure, or your 20s, or whenever we decide that a human being is rationally capable of making full-life decisions that are as dramatic as that.
01:43:00.000 That's what I thought that day.
01:43:01.000 I was like, who the fuck makes a good decision at 16?
01:43:03.000 Nobody does, man.
01:43:04.000 Or at 21 or 25?
01:43:06.000 But that doesn't mean that someone at 16 who thinks they're a woman couldn't Absolutely become one later and be super happy with it.
01:43:12.000 I'm not saying that's not possible either.
01:43:14.000 Everything's possible.
01:43:15.000 There's a thing for everybody.
01:43:17.000 And if that is what you feel like is your thing, you want to be that.
01:43:22.000 It's who you identify with.
01:43:24.000 And you have every right.
01:43:26.000 You have every right to do that.
01:43:27.000 So what you're saying, bro, you know how many fucking drugs I did between 16 and 20?
01:43:34.000 A lot.
01:43:35.000 It's not funny.
01:43:36.000 You did a lot of drugs from the time I met you.
01:43:39.000 The fact that you were on a heavier schedule before that.
01:43:43.000 No, but I'm talking about, like, I tried to stay away.
01:43:47.000 Like, I was a karate guy like you.
01:43:49.000 And the kids from karate, on Saturdays, they were geeks.
01:43:52.000 We either went to a martial art festival, we competed, or we went to a karate movie, or we went to a Honda martial arts supply.
01:44:04.000 I remember those places.
01:44:06.000 So we saved our money.
01:44:07.000 Like, you want to go to the movies and see the five deadly hands?
01:44:10.000 Nah, nah.
01:44:11.000 We got to save our money.
01:44:13.000 We're going to Honda next week to buy a Caboodle Tonfa.
01:44:15.000 Like we would always buy the ones that you'd hold with the...
01:44:21.000 Just so you know, I don't fuck around with your money.
01:44:27.000 What are you drawing?
01:44:30.000 What are you drawing?
01:44:31.000 You know how to write Chinese letters?
01:44:34.000 Yeah, if you look at those old Chinese things, they all had this on it.
01:44:39.000 That's how you wrote karate.
01:44:41.000 That's how you wrote karate, like that.
01:44:46.000 I knew all about this.
01:44:47.000 You would buy the handle that I would hold.
01:44:50.000 Remember the ones where you were in taekwondo and they had the wood in the top and they had four inches of canvas and you would stand in front of it and you would beat a makiwara and it would have like your knuckles.
01:45:03.000 These guys would really condition their knuckles.
01:45:05.000 We would save our money.
01:45:06.000 We were geeks.
01:45:06.000 That's what we did at 12. But they had little goombas in my neighborhood and when they were 12 they did something completely different.
01:45:14.000 They went behind the school, and they would roll one joint and put it in a piece of glass tube and light it up, and we would drink Boone's Farm.
01:45:23.000 The fruit shit, and I'd get pukey, so I didn't know who to hang out with, so I would have to be like a double agent.
01:45:29.000 That was a tough job for me as a 12-year-old.
01:45:32.000 I liked hanging out with my karate geeks.
01:45:35.000 You know what I'm saying?
01:45:35.000 I like going to competitions.
01:45:37.000 I like doing forms.
01:45:39.000 I like doing the semi-contact competitions where you couldn't kick above the head.
01:45:44.000 Yeah, those are good for kids.
01:45:45.000 But you don't like it anyway, but you still kick the kid and get disqualified.
01:45:48.000 But fuck it, I kicked him in the jaw.
01:45:50.000 Did you see?
01:45:50.000 People did that.
01:45:51.000 This in life was simple for me.
01:45:53.000 So I had to make a decision because the Kung Fu kids didn't get no pussy.
01:45:58.000 They just weren't into pussy.
01:46:00.000 They would talk about girls and they maybe had a crush on the girl in the 430 class, but they never asked her to come to any of the events.
01:46:07.000 My other buddies were into pussy.
01:46:09.000 So eventually I cut the karate fucking geeks out, and I started hanging out with the little druggies, and you make your transition.
01:46:18.000 And from those developmental ages, like, I tried to hide my drug use.
01:46:23.000 I tried to hide it, especially the marijuana use.
01:46:26.000 For two or three years it was just marijuana.
01:46:30.000 Wow.
01:46:31.000 Then once I became a freshman, I didn't start basketball my freshman year, I decided to, let's venture out into this acid thing.
01:46:42.000 Let's venture out into this mescaline thing.
01:46:45.000 It was a different name.
01:46:46.000 It was mescaline, but it really wasn't mescaline Joe Rogan.
01:46:49.000 It was a little tablet.
01:46:51.000 Peyote?
01:46:51.000 No, it wasn't even peyote.
01:46:53.000 It was a little thing.
01:46:54.000 Aren't they the same?
01:46:55.000 Excuse me, peyote, yeah, yeah, but mescaline is what they sell you in the south.
01:47:02.000 They supposedly put it in tequila or something.
01:47:04.000 That's mescal, right?
01:47:06.000 Yeah, this is something that two little fucking white kids made in a pill.
01:47:09.000 It was rat poison with something else and something else, and it was very tiny.
01:47:14.000 It was maybe the little size of this.
01:47:17.000 That's it.
01:47:17.000 And it came in aluminum foil, even smaller than that.
01:47:21.000 Wow.
01:47:21.000 Even smaller than that.
01:47:23.000 Way smaller.
01:47:24.000 That little thing, that's it.
01:47:26.000 You paid $80 for it, and you got 100 of those, and you sold it for $3 a piece.
01:47:32.000 Wow.
01:47:33.000 And that would fuck you up for six hours with a two-hour haze in between.
01:47:38.000 An hour buffer and an hour to come down.
01:47:42.000 And I did that for three or four months.
01:47:44.000 Then they introduced me to THC Crystal, which is snorty.
01:47:49.000 They sold it as...
01:47:50.000 What we do is we get a bunch of stems and seeds from the reefer.
01:47:54.000 We put it in a pot and we boil that pot.
01:47:59.000 And whatever separates from the stems and the seeds that goes to the sides, we scrape that off, and that's where you snort in your nose.
01:48:07.000 Oh, my God.
01:48:08.000 So I was...
01:48:09.000 I had like a personal karate rule that I would always just smoke it and do the mescaline, but I was never going to put nothing in my nose.
01:48:19.000 Oh, you had a rule like a drug addict put something in their nose.
01:48:21.000 Right, like that's it.
01:48:22.000 That's a complete different range.
01:48:24.000 I'll never shoot heroin and I'll never put nothing in my nose.
01:48:27.000 Especially as a karate man.
01:48:28.000 As a karate man, I had karate morals.
01:48:31.000 I was just straight away with the reefer.
01:48:34.000 And then I finally ended up snorting that fucking Gorilla Biscuit shit.
01:48:38.000 Because that's what it was.
01:48:40.000 It was angel dust.
01:48:41.000 They just told you.
01:48:43.000 And I went on an angel dust tear.
01:48:45.000 Like every Sunday, me and my friend Carlos Perez would buy a six-pack of Michael Loeb.
01:48:51.000 He only liked Michelob.
01:48:53.000 He has two good friends.
01:48:55.000 Tonight is kind of special.
01:48:57.000 The beer will pour.
01:49:00.000 Must say something more.
01:49:03.000 Call it tonight.
01:49:05.000 Oh, that's Lone Brow.
01:49:06.000 Yeah, Lone Brow.
01:49:07.000 What were we talking about?
01:49:08.000 Michelob?
01:49:08.000 Michelob, no.
01:49:09.000 Different one, right?
01:49:10.000 We would drink Lone Brow.
01:49:11.000 Lone Brow.
01:49:12.000 Oh, that one.
01:49:13.000 We would get a six-pack of low-brow and fucking snort a $10 package of THC crystal.
01:49:20.000 My mother would go to the track on Sundays, so I knew she wouldn't come back till 7. So me and him would snort it.
01:49:27.000 As soon as my mother stepped foot in that car at 11, me and him would have it and we'd snort it and then fucking...
01:49:34.000 Just sit around like and be fucking zombies all day.
01:49:37.000 Yeah.
01:49:38.000 But that was a development.
01:49:39.000 And then I went after my mom died.
01:49:41.000 I just went on an acid tear for fucking a year.
01:49:45.000 All different types of...
01:49:46.000 God knows what was in those goddamn things.
01:49:50.000 God fucking knows.
01:49:51.000 What's going on here?
01:49:52.000 Oh, this is the...
01:49:54.000 Look at this commercial!
01:49:57.000 Oh my God.
01:49:58.000 Look at that guy.
01:50:01.000 How about a low and brown?
01:50:03.000 Wow!
01:50:04.000 This is like a sketch.
01:50:06.000 It's a truly great American beer.
01:50:08.000 Why doesn't it have an American name, motherfucker?
01:50:10.000 What are you, embarrassed?
01:50:12.000 Are you embarrassed to be from here?
01:50:14.000 American beer low and brown.
01:50:17.000 Fucking Lohenbrow.
01:50:18.000 We used to drink Lohenbrows and shit.
01:50:21.000 Actually, it is an American beer, right?
01:50:22.000 That's like Stipe Miocic.
01:50:23.000 Keep your fucking real name.
01:50:25.000 That's as American as it gets, right?
01:50:26.000 Is it still around?
01:50:27.000 I don't know.
01:50:28.000 Lohenbrow?
01:50:29.000 I don't know, but if they said Lohenbrow, if that was their name and they started the beer company and they didn't change their name, that's as American as it gets.
01:50:35.000 So I'm wrong.
01:50:36.000 I should shut the fuck up.
01:50:37.000 Even looking it up, it's a German brewery.
01:50:40.000 Liars!
01:50:41.000 Liars!
01:50:42.000 Liars!
01:50:42.000 Liars!
01:50:43.000 Lying about American-made.
01:50:45.000 Apparently, they make a lot of American plants, make a lot of cars now that you think are Japanese cars.
01:50:52.000 Like Toyota Tundras.
01:50:53.000 They make them in Texas.
01:50:55.000 They make a bunch of them in Ohio, too.
01:50:56.000 Yeah.
01:50:57.000 Hondas, Nissans.
01:50:57.000 That's weird, right?
01:50:58.000 Like, if you think you're buying a Honda, you think you're definitely buying a Japanese car.
01:51:03.000 If you think you're buying some American cars, it might be a Mexican car.
01:51:07.000 How crazy is that?
01:51:08.000 Like, what company's making their cars down in Mexico?
01:51:12.000 I think they closed a couple plants.
01:51:14.000 I think Toyota was down there and somebody else for a while.
01:51:17.000 But here's the thing.
01:51:18.000 If they put them down in Mexico, but they gave them American money, like the levels of American money that's in Mexico, they would stop doing it.
01:51:27.000 It's a lot, actually.
01:51:29.000 Wow, look at all these different ones.
01:51:30.000 Chrysler has three plants, Ford has three plants, GM has four plants, Mazda has one.
01:51:35.000 They do it down there because it's cheaper, which I guess they have to do what they've got to do, and I'm sure it helps the community, because I know it does.
01:51:42.000 I know people that have had manufacturing down in these countries, and they do it for the cheap, but it does help the people.
01:51:49.000 There's some places that don't have much.
01:51:51.000 But what's arguable is, like, why is living like a Western person so important when these people have been living their own way for thousands of years?
01:52:00.000 They just didn't have...
01:52:02.000 Like, all the crazy infrastructure and all the shit that we had, they didn't have the crazy cities and, you know, other than a few cities in Mexico, like Mexico City.
01:52:11.000 So if they would go and put these plants in, like, why is it doing, I mean, I'm all for people being able to work, but is that better?
01:52:19.000 Is that better than the way they were living before?
01:52:21.000 When they were living like indigenous people, or living like villagers, or living like trades people, or whatever they did to get by?
01:52:27.000 I don't know.
01:52:28.000 Maybe it is better.
01:52:29.000 Let's go back to the whole situation here.
01:52:32.000 I still remember, because I'm a little older than you, I still remember where it was kind of starting to get taboo if you bought a foreign car.
01:52:40.000 Yeah.
01:52:41.000 I'm that old, ladies and gentlemen.
01:52:43.000 I remember that.
01:52:44.000 I still remember the mid-70s.
01:52:47.000 I still remember when Toyota advertised or Nissan advertised the car for 1995. And I would go, wait a second, I got $40 in the bank.
01:52:57.000 I could buy one of those.
01:52:58.000 It was $1,900, stupid, like a Corolla or something.
01:53:02.000 And I still remember there was a time in this country when if you were the first person on this block, if you showed up with a foreign car, you got a little bit of grief.
01:53:14.000 You got a little bit of grief.
01:53:16.000 And then it felt like they sold themselves.
01:53:20.000 It felt like we dropped the ball at some point.
01:53:24.000 As Americans, as you know, I don't know what happened in Detroit and all that stuff.
01:53:29.000 I know that, where's the highest population to Puerto Rico in this country?
01:53:32.000 I don't know.
01:53:33.000 You think it's the Bronx, but it's not.
01:53:36.000 It's a suburb outside of Cleveland.
01:53:38.000 Why?
01:53:38.000 Because in the 50s, they took a bunch of Puerto Ricans and put them into the suburb to work at the car plants.
01:53:45.000 All the car plants shut down there.
01:53:48.000 We ended up going other places and whatever and blah, blah, blah and blah, blah, blah.
01:53:53.000 And then the foreign cars started kicking our fucking ass.
01:53:56.000 Why?
01:53:57.000 Again, I don't know.
01:53:58.000 Was it the workmanship?
01:53:59.000 Was it the quality?
01:54:01.000 All I know is if I got a fucking Toyota, I could drive it for 80,000 miles without stopping to get gas.
01:54:08.000 You know what I'm saying?
01:54:09.000 Right.
01:54:09.000 You, as a consumer, as an American, you want to buy American products and you want to buy American-made products.
01:54:16.000 You know, so there's a couple places now, like beside Mexico, where we have places now, like in Indiana, we have like Toyota has a couple places, and they should bring it back.
01:54:30.000 I mean, fuck it.
01:54:33.000 Let some, you know, so we trade.
01:54:36.000 We get some of Toyota's stuff, which is, what kind of car are they?
01:54:40.000 They're Japanese or Chinese?
01:54:41.000 They're Japanese.
01:54:42.000 Japanese.
01:54:42.000 Yeah.
01:54:43.000 And let some of our shit get made over there.
01:54:45.000 That's part of, is it NAFTA? That's North American.
01:54:49.000 North American Free Trade Agreement.
01:54:51.000 So, I don't know.
01:54:51.000 That's just, I think, I think, I'm just talking on my ass here, but I think that's just us, Mexico, and Canada.
01:54:56.000 So when we build a car in Mexico, it's a lot cheaper to develop that car because of the rate?
01:55:01.000 Yeah, they pay people less.
01:55:02.000 They pay people less.
01:55:03.000 It's cheaper to get land.
01:55:04.000 These people don't have anything else going on down there or not as much going on down there, obviously, as they do in America and some heavily populated cities.
01:55:12.000 And so they can offer people much less money.
01:55:15.000 And there's a lot of plants that do that.
01:55:17.000 That's funny.
01:55:17.000 But here's the thing.
01:55:18.000 The real question is, do you think that this is just going to elevate these people and they're eventually going to catch up with the Western world and live the way that we're living right now in the United States?
01:55:28.000 There's ultimately a possibility of that.
01:55:31.000 Or are we saying, well, we're always going to have these people that we treat less good, and we're just always going to keep them in that position.
01:55:36.000 They're never going to get any better.
01:55:38.000 I mean, which one is it?
01:55:40.000 It's either one of those two things or, I mean, it could possibly be that people just want shit cheaper so bad they don't care.
01:55:48.000 They don't care.
01:55:49.000 They don't care if a guy's making a dollar a week or whatever the fuck they make.
01:55:52.000 How much do they make?
01:55:53.000 If you had to guess.
01:55:54.000 If you guess, how much does someone in an automobile plant in Mexico make as opposed to an American worker?
01:56:01.000 I'm sure someone must have done some sort of a study.
01:56:05.000 It's weird, man, because if they were doing the exact same thing on this patch of dirt, we'd go, what?
01:56:09.000 You can't pay that little.
01:56:11.000 Then you say, oh, but down there, everything's cheaper.
01:56:15.000 And they're giving these people an opportunity.
01:56:16.000 Like, why is it better?
01:56:18.000 Here's the question.
01:56:19.000 Why is it better than the way they've always been living?
01:56:22.000 In Mexico, $2 per hour workers make $40,000 SUVs.
01:56:27.000 $2 an hour.
01:56:28.000 Jesus Christ.
01:56:30.000 Do you imagine a person working all day and you hand them $16?
01:56:35.000 You, sir, are a piece of shit.
01:56:37.000 Could you imagine?
01:56:39.000 A guy busts his ass on an assembly line all day.
01:56:43.000 You give him $16.
01:56:46.000 Fuck you.
01:56:47.000 That's crazy.
01:56:49.000 Start at $1.10 an hour.
01:56:50.000 Oh my god, a dollar an hour.
01:56:53.000 You make more in prison.
01:56:54.000 That is ridiculous.
01:56:57.000 And that's Mexican money or that's American money?
01:56:59.000 A dollar a day, two dollars an hour.
01:57:00.000 Maybe it's like the translated...
01:57:03.000 Joe, we're getting fucked with more labels.
01:57:05.000 That's insane.
01:57:05.000 But it's just...
01:57:08.000 The idea is that you've got to always be able to make more money.
01:57:13.000 These people have this idea in a lot of these corporations of unlimited growth.
01:57:17.000 They just want to constantly be growing, growing, growing.
01:57:20.000 Some people think it's a very dangerous idea because your bottom line for your company is to always outdo every quarter.
01:57:28.000 At a certain time, people start getting desperate.
01:57:31.000 And they start cutting environmental corners or cutting research corners or doing whatever the fuck they have to do to keep their bottom line down and keep their profits coming in.
01:57:40.000 And that's what you could say about, like, these prescription drug companies.
01:57:43.000 People want to think that these companies are evil.
01:57:45.000 They're companies.
01:57:46.000 Their job is to make money, okay?
01:57:48.000 And they're caught up in a storm where they're allowed to make legal money.
01:57:52.000 And this legal money is...
01:57:55.000 Fucking substantial.
01:57:56.000 It's a giant amount of money these pharmaceutical companies are making on opiates.
01:58:01.000 So people are dying left and right, Joey.
01:58:03.000 Left and right.
01:58:04.000 This is one of the craziest, unspoken epidemics the human race has seen.
01:58:08.000 Joe Rogan, how long I know you.
01:58:10.000 Forever.
01:58:10.000 I'll tell you the truth on everything.
01:58:12.000 I still talk to my drug dealers.
01:58:15.000 They were good to me when I needed them.
01:58:18.000 And from month to month, I still talk to the Armenian.
01:58:21.000 And I still talk to Don Sleazy.
01:58:23.000 In fact, Don Sleazy just did a big movie.
01:58:25.000 He got a couple lines in a big movie.
01:58:27.000 That's awesome.
01:58:28.000 They do what they do.
01:58:29.000 I do what I do.
01:58:30.000 I have a family.
01:58:31.000 I got a call from the Armenian.
01:58:33.000 I saw him at Rouse.
01:58:36.000 You have a bit you used to do about the Armenians?
01:58:39.000 That's one of my favorite bits.
01:58:40.000 I saw the Armenian at Rouse.
01:58:41.000 He gave me a hug.
01:58:42.000 I saw him with his kids.
01:58:44.000 The kids are huge now.
01:58:45.000 You don't know how many times I met him with his kids and he would put an eight ball in my head.
01:58:51.000 I've been in that position.
01:58:52.000 So now I had groceries and I hugged him and he goes, do you mind if I call you later?
01:58:59.000 You know, and I go, sure, call me, whatever you want.
01:59:01.000 And he goes, where do you live?
01:59:05.000 And I told him, and he goes, I live here.
01:59:07.000 Can I meet you?
01:59:07.000 I want to ask you a question.
01:59:08.000 I didn't know.
01:59:09.000 I thought he was going to ask me if I still did blow.
01:59:11.000 I didn't know.
01:59:12.000 You know, I'm good.
01:59:13.000 I'm good.
01:59:14.000 And when I went to meet him, what he wanted to know was, he goes, you're a comedian, and I just wanted to ask if you knew anybody who got pills.
01:59:26.000 And I go, I got Xanax at the house.
01:59:29.000 You're free to take him.
01:59:30.000 He goes, no, no, no, no.
01:59:32.000 I'm tucking pain, oxy, whatever.
01:59:35.000 Again, I shook his hand.
01:59:37.000 I gave him a hug.
01:59:37.000 Joe Rogan, I don't know nobody.
01:59:39.000 I don't know anybody.
01:59:41.000 A week later, I told him I'd ask.
01:59:43.000 Because I do know a guy, kind of, sort of, a white dude in Hollywood.
01:59:46.000 Right.
01:59:47.000 And I called him, like, a week later, the Armenian called me, and I go, you know, I'm sorry, hold on.
01:59:52.000 And I went and I looked and I called this white dude, and he called me back, and he said, give me a couple days, you know.
01:59:59.000 And he called me back, and what he told me was mind-boggling.
02:00:07.000 What did he tell you?
02:00:08.000 The prices.
02:00:09.000 How much he's getting?
02:00:11.000 Of what you pay for pharmaceutical.
02:00:14.000 He hit me back and he told me three numbers on the phone with three different names of what this guy had.
02:00:24.000 And I'm not a drug dealer.
02:00:26.000 I called the Armenian and I just said, listen, this is what he told me and this is what he wants.
02:00:30.000 And the guy goes, okay, you don't tell him in a week I'll get a thousand of them.
02:00:33.000 I could not believe the amount of money for these pills.
02:00:38.000 Really?
02:00:38.000 You know, I never was a big pill head, but oh my god.
02:00:44.000 The black market for pills is fucking ginormous.
02:00:49.000 And I knew this kid in Hollywood would come through.
02:00:52.000 I know him 15 years.
02:00:54.000 He's a big jujitsu guy.
02:00:56.000 Well, they opened up a door and they can't close it.
02:00:59.000 It is mind-boggling what you pay for pills.
02:01:03.000 Well, you know what happened, right?
02:01:05.000 You know where it all started?
02:01:06.000 Well, this is what happened.
02:01:07.000 First of all, they're obviously very addictive.
02:01:10.000 Second of all, something happened in Florida where they allowed people to get multiple prescriptions.
02:01:16.000 Pain clinics everywhere.
02:01:18.000 It was basically what off-track betting is for gambling.
02:01:21.000 That was heroin sales.
02:01:22.000 It was just heroin sales.
02:01:25.000 Showy.
02:01:26.000 Everybody's got an ache.
02:01:27.000 You know, sometimes my fucking neck bothers me after a couple of podcasts.
02:01:31.000 I need to get a little oxy.
02:01:32.000 My back just, I can't sleep.
02:01:34.000 Here you go.
02:01:34.000 Have some oxy.
02:01:35.000 They would have a pharmacy attached to a doctor's office.
02:01:39.000 A town of 3,200 was flooded with nearly 21 million pain pills as addiction crisis worsened, lawmakers say.
02:01:45.000 Whoa.
02:01:46.000 A town of 3,200 people was flooded with 21 million pain pills.
02:01:52.000 A town of West Virginia.
02:01:52.000 Jesus Christ.
02:01:54.000 People in those towns, like from the wild and wonderful Wests of West Virginia.
02:02:00.000 What is that?
02:02:01.000 The whites of West Virginia.
02:02:02.000 Remember that?
02:02:03.000 Wild and wonderful whites of West Virginia.
02:02:06.000 Oxys, Xanax, whatever the fuck you got.
02:02:09.000 No, I got the little ones.
02:02:10.000 I got the little ones for anxiety.
02:02:12.000 You know, when I get anxiety, I get them lately before I get...
02:02:15.000 Like, if I haven't gone on the road for a while...
02:02:18.000 Oh, really?
02:02:18.000 ...that Thursday morning, oh, my God, Joe Rogan, as I'm getting ready, I keep thinking, like, I'm fucking not packing right.
02:02:25.000 Right.
02:02:25.000 I forgot something.
02:02:26.000 I forgot the holes in sleep at me, and I've been biting half of it.
02:02:30.000 And you know what?
02:02:31.000 I even fall asleep.
02:02:32.000 I get on the plane, I fall asleep, but on the road, people give me weird, creepy things.
02:02:38.000 LAUGHTER And it's hilarious.
02:02:42.000 So now I just go to WebDemD and you look for pill indicator.
02:02:47.000 And if it's something good, I'll save it.
02:02:49.000 And at least I got it.
02:02:51.000 If I ever have an emergency, if I'm lonely one night or something, you pop all these little pills on the, you know.
02:02:57.000 Wow.
02:02:58.000 But when dog, when they told me to, like I knew when I was a kid I would go to Washington Square Park and I could get eight, ten milligram Valium with the V in the middle.
02:03:11.000 That's the real deal when you get a fucking pill and they got a V in the middle cut out.
02:03:17.000 That's the shit.
02:03:19.000 Those are the Mac Daddies.
02:03:21.000 I could get eight of those for $10 and they were 10 milligrams.
02:03:27.000 Here's the question.
02:03:28.000 Do you think if it was legal, more or less people would have used it or the same?
02:03:33.000 Why are you?
02:03:34.000 What is this?
02:03:35.000 Trick points?
02:03:35.000 No, I'm curious.
02:03:36.000 I'm curious what you think.
02:03:37.000 Gambling, drugs, pills.
02:03:41.000 You give people the green light, dog.
02:03:43.000 We're fucking creatures of habit.
02:03:46.000 We're all going to fucking go.
02:03:48.000 Some of us are going to control it.
02:03:50.000 Listen, there's some people that get knee surgery and neck surgery like yourself.
02:03:54.000 And you've thrown away the Vicodin.
02:03:57.000 And there's other people that take that prescription.
02:04:00.000 And two years later, they're shooting heroin.
02:04:02.000 Yeah.
02:04:03.000 I don't understand it.
02:04:05.000 I think people feel pain different.
02:04:07.000 We all have different holes in our genes, bro.
02:04:10.000 Well, there's some people that like pain.
02:04:12.000 I'm not one of them, but there's some people that genuinely like it.
02:04:14.000 They get pleasure out of it.
02:04:15.000 What kind of pain do you like?
02:04:16.000 I mean, what kind of pain?
02:04:18.000 A dick up your ass?
02:04:19.000 No, no, no.
02:04:20.000 This is the question.
02:04:21.000 I think they think there are syndromes where, and it's probably fairly common in terms of it's not just one person.
02:04:27.000 It's like several people that could point out that experience actual like pleasure, like a serotonin burst from certain amounts of pain.
02:04:34.000 I don't think they feel it the way we feel it.
02:04:36.000 And so they're always trying to do things to themselves, and they say that some of the people that get a lot of piercings have that.
02:04:42.000 Some people that get a lot of tattoos have that.
02:04:44.000 They want to feel it more, so they want to burn it into themselves.
02:04:48.000 And I'm obviously not a psychologist, but it's apparently a pretty common theory.
02:04:54.000 Another thing I want to talk to you about, I watched the podcast.
02:04:57.000 I can't believe I have to say I'm not a psychologist.
02:04:59.000 I watched the podcast where you were talking about, because I wanted to really tell you the truth, the podcast where you were talking about that maybe some of Jon Jones' actions were caused by head injuries.
02:05:11.000 Could easily have been.
02:05:12.000 I'll tell you what.
02:05:13.000 Not caused by.
02:05:14.000 Not caused by.
02:05:14.000 Could easily have been.
02:05:15.000 Could be a fact.
02:05:16.000 I got to tell you something, Joe Rogan.
02:05:18.000 Again, let's go back to abuse from gambling or pills.
02:05:23.000 The mind with cocaine is a very tricky mind.
02:05:26.000 Oh yeah.
02:05:27.000 And it takes a year off.
02:05:29.000 I'm just telling you this from experience because I learned a lot about nootropics from you.
02:05:34.000 I don't really know much about it.
02:05:36.000 But Romanoski sent me two of his jugs in the tropics.
02:05:40.000 The orange juice flavored stuff.
02:05:42.000 Yeah, that's the shit that got me into nootropics.
02:05:44.000 When I got off cocaine, that came in the mail and I really drank and I didn't tell nobody my secret.
02:05:50.000 Because I knew, especially for a guy like me, you know, John Jones is 26 years old.
02:05:55.000 He's a phenomenal fighter.
02:05:57.000 I didn't think it really had anything to do with anything.
02:06:00.000 I think it Cocaine takes the pleasure patterns out of your mind, out of your brain, out of that side.
02:06:10.000 The serotonin, the melatonin, I don't know.
02:06:12.000 Don't correct me on this.
02:06:13.000 But I feel that it took me a year to 18 months for me to become a human again.
02:06:24.000 And I haven't gotten hit in the head.
02:06:26.000 Not since I was about 13. I got beat up by the guy.
02:06:28.000 I tried the mug and I got hit in the head with a flashlight.
02:06:32.000 It really took me 18 months to embrace humanity again.
02:06:36.000 Yeah.
02:06:37.000 I want you to remember that.
02:06:38.000 I want you to think of that morning, what happened in Santa Fe when he ran the light and he ran away from that.
02:06:45.000 Where was he, Jamie?
02:06:47.000 Do you think he just woke up and was going to church?
02:06:50.000 No, he was out the night before.
02:06:52.000 Yeah, he could have very well been out the night before.
02:06:54.000 There's no pleasure.
02:06:56.000 It takes your mind a long time.
02:06:59.000 You know, what's the thing?
02:07:00.000 When I get off the juice, I got to do something for my balls to grow again?
02:07:05.000 You'd have to take something called clomiphene.
02:07:07.000 Okay, and what happens?
02:07:08.000 There's a couple different ones, apparently.
02:07:11.000 It's an estrogen blocker.
02:07:12.000 It blocks your estrogen.
02:07:13.000 That's actually one of the things that John tested positive for.
02:07:15.000 Okay, so how long would it take for me to get my balls back again?
02:07:18.000 It'd take you a little while.
02:07:20.000 They think it's about half the amount of time that you were doing it.
02:07:25.000 That's why you're only supposed to go on a short cycle, unless you're a crazy bodybuilder guy.
02:07:28.000 Those guys just stay on it all the time.
02:07:30.000 Same thing with the cocaine, bro.
02:07:31.000 I thought about your statement, and I went home and started writing and thinking.
02:07:36.000 I got off in November of 2007. It took me a year and a half just to become a human being to realize I was fat.
02:07:45.000 I was 400 pounds.
02:07:46.000 I needed to go to Weight Watchers.
02:07:48.000 It took me 18 months to realize I had to marry my wife.
02:07:53.000 It took me a long time for my brain to think normal like anybody else did.
02:07:58.000 Right.
02:07:58.000 So I want you to take that into consideration.
02:08:01.000 Oh, I definitely do.
02:08:02.000 I know what you're saying.
02:08:03.000 I agree, too.
02:08:03.000 It took me a long time.
02:08:05.000 You know, when you do blow and you go on stage, if I do blow three nights in a week and I go on stage, I have no control of Joe Rogan.
02:08:13.000 I'm looking at you in the face.
02:08:15.000 You see me on stage.
02:08:16.000 I have no control.
02:08:18.000 I have no connection from my brain to what's coming out of my mouth.
02:08:24.000 I can't...
02:08:25.000 Now you're going, are you speaking Tourette's?
02:08:27.000 No.
02:08:29.000 It was empty words.
02:08:31.000 There was no passion behind it.
02:08:32.000 That's why it wasn't funny.
02:08:34.000 You know what you said to me?
02:08:35.000 You said it blocks love.
02:08:36.000 It blocks the love.
02:08:37.000 That's it.
02:08:38.000 The love...
02:08:39.000 In between the cocaine and my words is gone.
02:08:44.000 Well, that's what stimulants do.
02:08:46.000 Stimulants ramp up the aggression and the impulsiveness and they ramp up your fearlessness.
02:08:53.000 They ramp up your courage.
02:08:54.000 You get disproportionate.
02:08:56.000 They ramp up your ego.
02:08:57.000 Like some stimulants on some people.
02:08:59.000 Some people, obviously, look, there's people that can handle booze and there's people that can't handle even a little booze.
02:09:04.000 And I think that's the same with stimulants.
02:09:06.000 I think that's the same with pretty much everything, almost every life experience, in fact.
02:09:09.000 I think there's some people that can handle things and some people that can't and some people that can't at first and they eventually learn to.
02:09:16.000 Someone sent me something about Rodney Dangerfield.
02:09:18.000 It was fucking great, man.
02:09:19.000 Oh, from the New York Times?
02:09:20.000 The relentless thing.
02:09:22.000 Yeah, it was great.
02:09:23.000 John Dudley.
02:09:23.000 John Dudley sent it to me.
02:09:25.000 Fucking A. It was amazing.
02:09:27.000 Yeah, I read that really good.
02:09:29.000 It's amazing.
02:09:29.000 It's amazing.
02:09:30.000 Oh, no.
02:09:31.000 Tate Fletcher.
02:09:32.000 Tate Fletcher sent it to me.
02:09:33.000 That was great.
02:09:34.000 It was Tate.
02:09:34.000 Shout out to Tate Fletcher.
02:09:36.000 Where is Tate?
02:09:37.000 Oh, damn.
02:09:39.000 Letter of Recommendation, Roddy Dangerfield.
02:09:41.000 It is an amazing piece.
02:09:42.000 Who wrote this?
02:09:44.000 What is the name of the gentleman?
02:09:45.000 Alex Halbert Stat?
02:09:48.000 Alex, you made a masterpiece.
02:09:50.000 That's a fucking hell of an article about.
02:09:52.000 One of the greatest of all time when it comes to stand-up comedy.
02:09:55.000 And he just talks about the evolution of Rodney Dangerfield and how it wasn't until he was in his 50s that he really fucking got it together.
02:10:03.000 Like, it became the great stand-up that we know him as and his process for boiling down his material.
02:10:08.000 Joey, it's a fucking amazing article.
02:10:10.000 Doug, I read it two times.
02:10:12.000 Look, I get tears in my eyes.
02:10:13.000 Yeah, me too.
02:10:14.000 So what do you want to do?
02:10:14.000 We're going to do the special?
02:10:16.000 Yes, we're going to do a special.
02:10:17.000 I'm going to direct your comedy special.
02:10:19.000 We're just going to figure out when to do it and where to do it.
02:10:21.000 June at the Ice House.
02:10:22.000 The Ice House is the place.
02:10:24.000 I think that's the place.
02:10:25.000 Who shows?
02:10:25.000 What shows?
02:10:25.000 Yeah.
02:10:26.000 Let's do six shows.
02:10:27.000 Let's do six.
02:10:28.000 Let's do six.
02:10:29.000 I want to do two Thursday, two Friday, two Saturday.
02:10:32.000 Boom!
02:10:33.000 I want to get those crazy weeknight savages.
02:10:36.000 It's a different kind of animal that goes out on Thursday night.
02:10:38.000 One hour.
02:10:39.000 They're a little more ramped up.
02:10:40.000 We're going for one hour, 15 minutes.
02:10:41.000 You're going to go crazy is what we're going to do.
02:10:44.000 We're going to capture the real Joey Diaz experience and we're going to put together a special.
02:10:48.000 That's it.
02:10:49.000 We're done.
02:10:49.000 June in Ice House.
02:10:51.000 We'll give everybody the details, but this is the first special that I've ever even attempted to do something with other than my own.
02:10:58.000 Thank you very much for the opportunity.
02:11:01.000 Let's go fucking crazy.
02:11:03.000 I think this is the time for you.
02:11:05.000 I think the name of it is Immigrant Mentality.
02:11:07.000 Immigrant Mentality is perfect!
02:11:10.000 Out of respect for Stipe Maocic.
02:11:13.000 Oh, that's perfect.
02:11:14.000 That's a perfect name.
02:11:15.000 Immigrant Mentality is the perfect fucking name.
02:11:17.000 That's the name of the album.
02:11:18.000 Okay, beautiful.
02:11:19.000 I'm already in process to writing.
02:11:21.000 I'm ready to go.
02:11:22.000 I think the Ice House is the place.
02:11:24.000 We've been there a million times.
02:11:25.000 It's home.
02:11:26.000 It's family.
02:11:27.000 It's home.
02:11:27.000 Oh my God, it's home.
02:11:28.000 Yeah, it's a great place to film.
02:11:30.000 And when that place gets rocking, holy shit.
02:11:32.000 It's perfectly designed.
02:11:34.000 I'm going to Colorado.
02:11:35.000 I'm flying in a day early.
02:11:37.000 I'm interviewing Antonio Ledizio.
02:11:40.000 I'm going to go show people where I kidnapped Bella.
02:11:42.000 I'm going to show people the halfway house.
02:11:45.000 I'm going to walk around Boulder.
02:11:47.000 I'm going to tape all that.
02:11:48.000 I'm going to have that up this fucking spring.
02:11:50.000 I got some shit I'm playing.
02:11:52.000 I want to do like a little mixtape type of stand-up drop.
02:11:55.000 We've got to let these motherfuckers know your ideas.
02:11:57.000 I'm ready to shoot the special.
02:11:59.000 I had a great time in Charlotte, man.
02:12:01.000 I knew you were in Durham.
02:12:03.000 Yeah.
02:12:03.000 And you and I were discussing the comedy scene in North Carolina.
02:12:06.000 It's amazing.
02:12:06.000 I just want to thank you people.
02:12:09.000 And the week before that, I was in Austin, and that place is like, this last time I got emotional in Austin.
02:12:17.000 Like, I don't know how many times I drove from Houston to Austin to do the open mic on Wednesday, Joe Rogan, in that little stage.
02:12:25.000 I could tell you, looking in your face five times, and now I was headlining and selling the place out.
02:12:30.000 I just didn't walk in there, dog.
02:12:32.000 I did the open mic for Margie, and she would tell me, you're too dirty for me to walk in.
02:12:37.000 You know what I'm saying?
02:12:37.000 And now Austin is fucking, it's really weird to see the growth of cities, but not only that, to see the growth of comedy in these cities.
02:12:52.000 Portland, Oregon, like that's what happened, that's how Fidel took over Cuba.
02:12:57.000 Just little growth in different areas.
02:13:00.000 And the internet.
02:13:01.000 The internet has made people more aware of comedy.
02:13:04.000 Fifteen years ago, we would go to Houston and be excited.
02:13:06.000 We would go to New York and maybe like three other places.
02:13:09.000 Everything else was just a regular town.
02:13:12.000 Yeah.
02:13:12.000 Now, every town is excited about Joe Rogan, Bert Kreischer, fucking...
02:13:19.000 Who's the girl?
02:13:20.000 The girl.
02:13:21.000 What's the Chinese girl?
02:13:23.000 Amy Wong.
02:13:24.000 Ali Wong?
02:13:26.000 Yeah, there's a lot of great comedy.
02:13:28.000 Everybody's fucking excited about people coming to town.
02:13:32.000 You know, we've seen this growth.
02:13:35.000 Like, it's been an amazing...
02:13:37.000 Like, see, I got into comedy on the tail end.
02:13:40.000 Like, when I got into comedy, people were telling you it's over, kid, because five years before that, MCs were getting $1,500 plus air.
02:13:49.000 And features were getting $2,500 plus air.
02:13:52.000 And headliners were getting $5,000 plus air.
02:13:54.000 And all of a sudden, when I got in it, I still remember the first notes he gave us was, before you guys get into comedy, I want you to tell you what happened to the bubble.
02:14:03.000 It busted.
02:14:04.000 And he broke down what comics were getting paid.
02:14:07.000 I didn't give a fuck.
02:14:08.000 He was just trying to discourage us.
02:14:10.000 Yeah, he's wrong.
02:14:11.000 He's wrong.
02:14:12.000 You know what the bubble is?
02:14:13.000 Not writing jokes.
02:14:14.000 Yeah.
02:14:15.000 That was the bubble.
02:14:16.000 That was the bubble.
02:14:17.000 That was the bubble in Boston.
02:14:18.000 I'm almost positive.
02:14:19.000 I don't know what people blame it on the excess of comedy on television at the time.
02:14:24.000 I don't believe that because the great ones are still there.
02:14:26.000 I think what happened was there was a lot of guys that were really, really, really, really fucking funny because they had taken their act and polished that motherfucker like a diamond and they brought it to you and it was just perfect.
02:14:38.000 It was a perfect act but it didn't change.
02:14:40.000 It was a perfect piece of work, but they didn't write more.
02:14:43.000 Some guys did, but not enough guys did.
02:14:46.000 And so people would keep coming back to the shows, they'd be able to say the jokes word for word, year after year.
02:14:52.000 Like, they'd go to see some guys, they would do the same act, year after year.
02:14:55.000 And they never left Boston.
02:14:56.000 And it's a very unfortunate thing, because when it comes to proficiency level, There's guys like Steve Sweeney that used to kill in a way that you're like, oh my god.
02:15:05.000 What's the guy that used to drink the white Russians in a container?
02:15:08.000 Don motherfucking Gavin.
02:15:09.000 Don Gavin's one of the greatest ever.
02:15:10.000 There was five or four guys out in Boston when I started that you heard about.
02:15:14.000 Your boy, too, at the time.
02:15:16.000 Lenny Clark.
02:15:16.000 Back in some heat.
02:15:17.000 Lenny.
02:15:18.000 Lenny was killing it.
02:15:19.000 And what's the guy that had the shows?
02:15:20.000 He was funny in 91, bro.
02:15:23.000 Anthony Clark was very funny.
02:15:26.000 He used to murder.
02:15:29.000 He used to fill the Faneuil Hall Club with all screaming chicks.
02:15:33.000 I never saw anything like it because he was cute, you know, and he would be silly on stage.
02:15:38.000 Girls loved him.
02:15:39.000 I mean to the point where that place would be overrun with girls.
02:15:42.000 It would be like 80-20 girls in this Faneuil Hall comedy connection.
02:15:46.000 We'd be like, what the fuck?
02:15:47.000 Like, what other comic brings in girls like this that love him?
02:15:50.000 And then here's another one.
02:15:51.000 They'd see his same bits over and over and over again.
02:15:53.000 They didn't care.
02:15:54.000 They would fine with it.
02:15:55.000 It's weird.
02:15:56.000 It was a weird time.
02:15:57.000 What fucked everybody up was people would go to see someone special.
02:16:02.000 Like, Kinison did a special, and then he tried to do the material from the special on a show.
02:16:07.000 And the people already knew the material.
02:16:09.000 And they were, like, yelling out bits and fucking up bits.
02:16:11.000 And I think comics then started realizing...
02:16:14.000 Once you do like a real special and put it on HBO or something like that and it makes you famous, you gotta throw that shit away and write a completely new set.
02:16:23.000 That's why it's so tough now.
02:16:24.000 It's hard.
02:16:25.000 Because you're trying to develop your hour on the road, then you put your hour on the road and...
02:16:32.000 You go out the following week to promote that hour, and you got the same half hour of that hour.
02:16:37.000 Yeah.
02:16:38.000 Unless you're fucking Harry Houdini.
02:16:40.000 So now I'm preparing for that already.
02:16:42.000 What I went through after the last time was a big fucking lesson.
02:16:46.000 Everybody has that lesson.
02:16:47.000 Tom is going through that right now.
02:16:49.000 Tom just put his out.
02:16:50.000 That's it, yeah.
02:16:51.000 And those weeks when you're putting that out, just stay home.
02:16:54.000 Just stay home.
02:16:55.000 Don't embarrass you.
02:16:56.000 Don't try to do something.
02:16:57.000 Stay home and get 15 minute bits of the shot.
02:16:59.000 And once you get six of those 15 minute bits, then you go out and put 45 together and you start from scratch.
02:17:06.000 And then...
02:17:08.000 You still got 30, 35 minutes once you shot to your bed.
02:17:12.000 Once you shot that 50 minutes, you still got 35 minutes to work on again.
02:17:16.000 There's no shame.
02:17:17.000 Fucking your boy is an animal.
02:17:19.000 He stays home for a fucking year to work on an hour and then goes out.
02:17:23.000 Russell.
02:17:24.000 Russell Peters?
02:17:25.000 Yeah, he stays home for a long time.
02:17:27.000 But Russell does, he still does some gigs on the road being emcees and just talks to the crowd.
02:17:31.000 Fucks with him.
02:17:32.000 Bro, shout out to our little pet partner Friday night selling out the staples.
02:17:36.000 Only the second comic to do it.
02:17:38.000 Who sold out the Staples?
02:17:40.000 Gabriel.
02:17:40.000 Did he really?
02:17:41.000 Jesus Christ.
02:17:43.000 Friday night.
02:17:44.000 That's like 20,000 people.
02:17:45.000 That's a Laker game.
02:17:46.000 That's a Laker game.
02:17:47.000 Gabriel Iglesias sold out a Laker game.
02:17:49.000 Friday night at the Staples Center.
02:17:51.000 Him and Kevin Hart are the only ones to do it.
02:17:54.000 Fucking animal.
02:17:55.000 Jesus.
02:17:55.000 How the fuck do you sell out?
02:17:57.000 Gabriel's murdering it.
02:17:58.000 Here's why.
02:17:58.000 He's funny.
02:17:59.000 Anybody can go see him.
02:18:00.000 You can take your kids to see him, your mom to see him.
02:18:02.000 He's a nice guy.
02:18:03.000 Everybody loves him.
02:18:05.000 You're getting what you want to see.
02:18:06.000 You're getting a funny comedian having a good time.
02:18:09.000 Selling out the fucking Staples Center!
02:18:10.000 Selling out the fucking Staples Center!
02:18:12.000 How many thousands?
02:18:13.000 I want to say that's at least like 18,000 people.
02:18:16.000 I think that might be 20. It might be 20,000.
02:18:19.000 I think that place is giant.
02:18:20.000 Here's the beautiful thing.
02:18:21.000 I still remember him paying me 35 hours on a Wednesday night to go to the bicycle club and he would host.
02:18:27.000 Wow.
02:18:28.000 How many people?
02:18:29.000 21,000!
02:18:30.000 Jesus Christ!
02:18:31.000 Oh my God, that's so many people.
02:18:34.000 My head hurts.
02:18:36.000 He's up there telling jokes.
02:18:37.000 21,000 people.
02:18:39.000 Powerful Gabriel Iglesias.
02:18:40.000 Holy shit.
02:18:41.000 That's nuts.
02:18:42.000 That is fucking nuts.
02:18:43.000 That's the height of comedy.
02:18:45.000 Yeah, he's right at the top right now.
02:18:47.000 Him and Kevin Hart.
02:18:48.000 In terms of being able to do that.
02:18:50.000 Especially being able to do that in LA. He's a hero in LA. He's done more shows consecutively at the Ice House and sold out.
02:18:56.000 Fucking 10 years ago he was doing that.
02:18:58.000 He would do Monday shows, Tuesday shows, two shows Wednesday, two shows Thursday.
02:19:02.000 He would just fucking crank them out, man.
02:19:04.000 He was taking people out to breakfast.
02:19:07.000 After his shows?
02:19:08.000 Yeah, on Christmas Eve.
02:19:10.000 He still does two shows on Christmas Eve.
02:19:13.000 That's amazing.
02:19:14.000 He could do shows at 3 in the afternoon.
02:19:16.000 He would do shows at the Ice House whenever he wanted and they'd be packed.
02:19:21.000 3 in the afternoon, fuck it, pack, let's go!
02:19:23.000 Woo!
02:19:24.000 People wanted to see it.
02:19:25.000 Have a couple of drinks.
02:19:26.000 Watch some funny comedy.
02:19:28.000 Why not?
02:19:28.000 Thank God.
02:19:29.000 Just the amount of people that are going out to comedy.
02:19:32.000 I'm just honored to be a part of this whole thing.
02:19:35.000 Me too.
02:19:35.000 You know, Joey, you and I have known each other for a long time now.
02:19:37.000 And so we've seen like a couple of waves.
02:19:39.000 Oh my God.
02:19:40.000 No, no.
02:19:40.000 Nothing like this.
02:19:41.000 How the fuck were you at the wheelchair and sold out in New Year's?
02:19:46.000 And Chappelle and John Mayer at the fucking Forum.
02:19:51.000 They were sold out, too.
02:19:52.000 He was sold out, but he did a warm-up the night before somewhere else.
02:19:57.000 Like, let's just try it out just to see if it works.
02:20:00.000 And that sold out, too.
02:20:01.000 Like, people are out and about, Jack.
02:20:04.000 Yeah.
02:20:04.000 People are out and about.
02:20:06.000 Well, we're very, very lucky to have Dave out there right now.
02:20:10.000 Like, doing a lot of comedy.
02:20:13.000 Like, he's top of the food chain and he's doing a lot of comedy.
02:20:16.000 Did two specials last year and two specials this year.
02:20:19.000 And they're fucking good, man.
02:20:20.000 They're good.
02:20:21.000 No, no, they're very good.
02:20:21.000 That one he did from D.C., that is a really good special.
02:20:25.000 That's a good special.
02:20:25.000 I enjoyed the shit out of that.
02:20:27.000 I enjoyed The Belly Room, too.
02:20:29.000 Yeah, I love that, too.
02:20:30.000 I enjoyed it.
02:20:30.000 I haven't seen that one 100% yet, though.
02:20:33.000 Every agent told you the belly room wouldn't work.
02:20:36.000 It's not going to work.
02:20:38.000 You dumb fuck.
02:20:39.000 They're silly.
02:20:40.000 The belly room, when you get into a groove in the belly room.
02:20:44.000 Okay, let me break something down here.
02:20:46.000 At the Comedy Store, and again, you're going to go, we heard this.
02:20:48.000 Guys, no, you haven't heard this one.
02:20:50.000 Because I just found this one out fucking three weeks ago when you got sick that night.
02:20:56.000 And I covered for you.
02:20:57.000 In the belly room, you had the flu.
02:20:59.000 And they called me, and I went to the belly flu.
02:21:02.000 The belly flu?
02:21:03.000 No, I went to the belly room.
02:21:05.000 And I had this certain energy going in the belly room, and it just wasn't doing it.
02:21:10.000 The belly room doesn't require the efficiency that the original room requires.
02:21:22.000 How so?
02:21:25.000 So you want to slow it down a little bit in the belly room, is that what you're saying?
02:21:28.000 Okay, so I'm sparring with you, and we're not doing 50%, we're doing 30 now.
02:21:34.000 Right.
02:21:35.000 In the belly room, if we do 50, it's a little too aggressive.
02:21:40.000 The two right there, the energy's right there.
02:21:43.000 I learned this after 20 fucking years of doing spots there.
02:21:46.000 Remember, the belly room was where I learned to story tell.
02:21:51.000 Before that, I was rushing to the punchline and not getting any of the joke out.
02:21:56.000 The belly room was where I learned to sit back a little bit and explain what the fuck it is you're trying to tell us.
02:22:05.000 Why are you just telling me?
02:22:08.000 There's no segue here.
02:22:10.000 There's nothing, Joey.
02:22:11.000 You're just eating some girl's asshole.
02:22:13.000 It's great.
02:22:14.000 We don't want to hear that.
02:22:15.000 We want to hear how you got there.
02:22:17.000 I learned that in 99 in the belly room, fucking around.
02:22:22.000 And I went back up there a couple weeks ago.
02:22:24.000 For me, the main room, I gotta come out like a fuck.
02:22:28.000 In the main room, I gotta come out like Mike Tyson when he beat up, who did he beat up in Atlantic City?
02:22:34.000 Knocked him out in the 57 seconds.
02:22:37.000 He was part of one of the brothers with the mouthpiece, Leon Spinks.
02:22:41.000 Michael Spinks.
02:22:43.000 I eat dick in the main room unless I come out jabbing, crossing, one, two.
02:22:49.000 It's a different room.
02:22:50.000 I gotta come out one, two in the main room.
02:22:52.000 Right.
02:22:52.000 In the original room, the gauge is who you're following.
02:22:56.000 I gotta follow Chris D'Elia.
02:22:59.000 Who came out this year?
02:23:01.000 Who came out against Travis with a flying sidekick?
02:23:04.000 Oh, Fabricio Verdun.
02:23:06.000 I gotta come out with a flying sidekick at the original room.
02:23:09.000 Okay, this is so people break it down for you.
02:23:11.000 In the original room, you gotta follow Joe Rogan, Chris D'Elia, or Bill Burr, like I had a couple weeks ago.
02:23:18.000 I gotta come out from the curtain, okay, and throw a flying sidekick upward, which hasn't been done since Bruce Lee and the Chinese Connection.
02:23:27.000 Me and you would usually do a flying sidekick from an evil ground.
02:23:31.000 Right.
02:23:32.000 No, I gotta go upward.
02:23:34.000 That's the comedy in the fucking original room.
02:23:37.000 That's where you see me go bananas, where you see me at my best, like crazy, red in the face, about to have a heart attack, pitching your heart out on stage.
02:23:48.000 You have to come out with a flying psychic.
02:23:50.000 That's a crazy move.
02:23:51.000 But you go on a vertical or a tremendous up, you're on your back kick, and I gotta get on my shoulders and kick up and try to get you in the jaw.
02:23:59.000 That's the original room.
02:24:01.000 The belly room.
02:24:02.000 I could rest on my right hook.
02:24:04.000 I could rest on my one-two.
02:24:06.000 The belly room you can.
02:24:08.000 I could breathe and just throw one-twos and keep you off me.
02:24:11.000 Deep, breathe deep.
02:24:13.000 Get my composure.
02:24:15.000 And even though you hit me with some of those Ungayo slugs, Ungano, if I keep my hands up and stay away from your right, I'll be okay.
02:24:25.000 That's the belly room.
02:24:27.000 That's why the Belly Room I always thought would be a great place to shoot a special.
02:24:31.000 You know what's great about the Belly Room is the same thing that's great about the Ice House Annex, the second room?
02:24:35.000 Yes.
02:24:37.000 There's no room for an act.
02:24:39.000 There's no room for an act.
02:24:40.000 It's too intimate.
02:24:41.000 You have to figure out where's the no-fat aspect of the bit, and you have to be tuned into the bit.
02:24:46.000 They feel you.
02:24:47.000 I'm doing my 55th birthday up there, up at the Ice House.
02:24:51.000 What day is that?
02:24:51.000 It's a Saturday, the 19th.
02:24:53.000 It's the 19th.
02:24:54.000 I can't get the Comedy Store.
02:24:55.000 So I got the original room.
02:24:57.000 I got the small room at the Ice House on the 17th.
02:25:01.000 The 19th.
02:25:02.000 And then the 18th, I got the original room.
02:25:05.000 I got the belly room at the Comedy Store.
02:25:08.000 And it's the night before George Washington's birthday.
02:25:11.000 So I got people doing that one, too.
02:25:14.000 So I turned 55 that weekend.
02:25:16.000 Oh, shit.
02:25:16.000 And working out with Uncle Joey, I only charge 10 or 15 bucks.
02:25:21.000 I do that once a month, and I go on stage two.
02:25:24.000 And you just fuck around.
02:25:26.000 Everything I write down in a notebook that I don't really know about.
02:25:29.000 And we develop it together up there and sometimes it's phenomenal.
02:25:33.000 Nine out of ten it really is phenomenal.
02:25:35.000 It's a good idea.
02:25:36.000 You want me to tell you why?
02:25:37.000 Because I'm at 30%.
02:25:38.000 I purposely eat an edible.
02:25:43.000 Purposely.
02:25:43.000 I wouldn't do that at the Comedy Store on a Saturday night.
02:25:46.000 No?
02:25:46.000 No.
02:25:47.000 I purposely eat an edible to take the edge off.
02:25:50.000 Okay.
02:25:51.000 I might even have a shot of alcohol.
02:25:53.000 Whoa.
02:25:53.000 Whoa.
02:25:54.000 Just one.
02:25:55.000 It's three points.
02:25:56.000 Yeah.
02:25:56.000 Because I don't need much alcohol.
02:25:59.000 So I'll do an edible and have a little shot of alcohol at the Ice House and tape it.
02:26:04.000 And always get one or two great things, Joe Rogan.
02:26:08.000 I'm not going to tell you I get an hour of greatness, but because you're so relaxed and they know what they're getting, it's a big difference, Joe.
02:26:17.000 The Comedy Store, listen, how do you sharpen metal?
02:26:20.000 With metal.
02:26:22.000 Comedy store.
02:26:23.000 Stones.
02:26:24.000 We do a special in June.
02:26:27.000 May, I gotta go to the comedy store three nights, four nights a week.
02:26:31.000 That's sparring.
02:26:32.000 That's a gem.
02:26:34.000 Who's next?
02:26:35.000 No, no, no, no.
02:26:36.000 Delia, get up there.
02:26:37.000 And do takedowns for an hour.
02:26:39.000 Take them down.
02:26:40.000 I don't care how...
02:26:41.000 That's what you do before you shoot a special.
02:26:44.000 Don't you think you need all of it, right?
02:26:45.000 You need the sets.
02:26:46.000 You need the writing.
02:26:47.000 You need the sets.
02:26:48.000 You need the writing.
02:26:49.000 You need the working out.
02:26:51.000 Your head's got to be at the right place.
02:26:53.000 Absolutely.
02:26:53.000 You know what else I think you need?
02:26:54.000 You need friendship.
02:26:55.000 I think that helps.
02:26:56.000 I think that when you said that to me on the phone the other day...
02:27:00.000 And you also know that you gotta, when I get there, you gotta leave some stuff to aggravate me.
02:27:06.000 But I've thought about this many times, like, who would I be without you guys?
02:27:10.000 Like, who would I be without you?
02:27:12.000 Who would I be without Eddie?
02:27:13.000 Who would I be without Red Band?
02:27:14.000 Who would I be without Ari?
02:27:16.000 Who would I be without Duncan?
02:27:17.000 I think about the same thing.
02:27:18.000 Tom Segura.
02:27:18.000 I think about the same thing.
02:27:20.000 Who would I be?
02:27:21.000 These people like Bert, they mean a lot to me.
02:27:23.000 They're very important people.
02:27:25.000 And then there's your family, which is through the moon.
02:27:27.000 That kind of love is very weird.
02:27:29.000 That kind of love is overwhelming how much it changes who you are.
02:27:34.000 The other day you were talking about Tao and Jeet Kune Do.
02:27:38.000 The Bruce Lee book.
02:27:39.000 And you were saying that a lot of excerpts were stolen.
02:27:43.000 I don't even know if that's true.
02:27:44.000 And that's not the proper word that I used.
02:27:47.000 Plagiarized.
02:27:48.000 I have a tile with Joey Diaz.
02:27:50.000 And half of that tile is what I learned from Joe Rogan.
02:27:55.000 The other half of that tile is what I learned from Ari and working with Duncan.
02:27:59.000 None of us are very original.
02:28:01.000 I just kick it up a bit.
02:28:04.000 One thing I love about you is you didn't sell t-shirts after the show.
02:28:07.000 You don't need to do nothing.
02:28:09.000 When I go into a town, I focus on five shows.
02:28:12.000 I don't want to do your podcast.
02:28:14.000 I don't want to go see the Statue of Liberty.
02:28:16.000 I really don't.
02:28:16.000 You're right.
02:28:17.000 You're there to kick ass.
02:28:18.000 I'm there to go to get a good meal.
02:28:21.000 After the first show, it's a small club.
02:28:24.000 It's sold out.
02:28:25.000 Let me not go out there and take pictures.
02:28:28.000 Let me focus on the important thing.
02:28:30.000 I'm 55. I gotta give you 150 fucking percent.
02:28:33.000 And those are the towel.
02:28:35.000 I'm up early.
02:28:36.000 I do my radio.
02:28:38.000 I'm up early to get out of there.
02:28:40.000 Every once in a while on Saturday, you gotta have a drink with the audience.
02:28:44.000 A little shot on stage or whatever.
02:28:48.000 I've come to think of myself as...
02:28:50.000 I'm a piece of three or four of you guys, if you want the truth.
02:28:55.000 Ari, I like Ari's relaxation on stage.
02:28:59.000 Ari takes chances, like all three of us love to take chances.
02:29:06.000 That's why we do what we do.
02:29:08.000 You're not gonna get the same hour, year after fucking year, not even close.
02:29:13.000 We also have a similar style of mixing everything all up together.
02:29:15.000 Of mixing everything up, yeah.
02:29:17.000 Like Ari does that.
02:29:18.000 Everybody has their own talent, man.
02:29:20.000 Yeah.
02:29:21.000 You know, Bruce Lee, he just wanted to teach you how to combine it.
02:29:25.000 And that's what we're doing right now.
02:29:27.000 For sure.
02:29:28.000 You think I'm Johnny Original?
02:29:29.000 I take a little bit of you.
02:29:30.000 Doesn't mean anything.
02:29:31.000 I learned from Bert.
02:29:32.000 I learned from Tom.
02:29:33.000 I learned from Bill Burr.
02:29:35.000 I learned from Dave Chappelle.
02:29:37.000 And now this is your art.
02:29:40.000 Again, The arm bar is the same.
02:29:43.000 Whether I go to you or John Junkie and show me the same arm bar, it's how I do it.
02:29:48.000 It's the same point.
02:29:49.000 It's a really good point.
02:29:50.000 I think there's no way you could ever say any one person is not influenced because every single style of stand-up comedy is in some way or another originated with the Lenny Bruce's and the Dick Gregory's and the guys who were doing it way back in the day.
02:30:10.000 Even Bob Hope.
02:30:11.000 All those guys, they started this thing.
02:30:14.000 You gotta think, the world has had no stand-up comedy.
02:30:18.000 Up until, like, what?
02:30:19.000 150 years ago or something?
02:30:21.000 That's nothing.
02:30:22.000 This shit just started.
02:30:23.000 And you know who was one of the first guys to do it?
02:30:25.000 Mark motherfucking Twain.
02:30:27.000 Mark motherfucking Twain would do readings of his book, and it was funny, and people would laugh.
02:30:31.000 He was in front of people, rocking.
02:30:34.000 He was killing.
02:30:35.000 He was telling stories and reading, and people thought he was hilarious.
02:30:38.000 And he would give speeches, and people thought he was hilarious.
02:30:40.000 They found somebody before Mark Twain.
02:30:42.000 Oh, I'm sure.
02:30:42.000 But he was a really popular writer.
02:30:44.000 Three years ago, yeah.
02:30:46.000 There's living proof that this art form, a form of this art form existed before.
02:30:58.000 Yeah.
02:30:58.000 In some civilization.
02:30:59.000 I did read that a couple years ago.
02:31:02.000 I'm sure.
02:31:02.000 Storytelling.
02:31:03.000 Yes.
02:31:04.000 There was some story.
02:31:06.000 And because, and now I see myself on stage, like when I tape my sets now, Bro, I hear a little Joe Rogan.
02:31:15.000 I hear a little Rodney.
02:31:17.000 I hear a little Lenny Bruce.
02:31:19.000 I love Lenny Bruce's...
02:31:21.000 Yeah, man.
02:31:22.000 Dig.
02:31:23.000 Dig.
02:31:24.000 I love that Lenny Bruce said shit that you didn't know what the fuck.
02:31:29.000 And it wasn't dirty.
02:31:30.000 Just a certain word.
02:31:31.000 Like when I go on stage that, you know...
02:31:34.000 You don't want to know Malukia in the place.
02:31:37.000 Malukia is one of those mergers.
02:31:39.000 What's he saying?
02:31:40.000 Malukia is just bad luck.
02:31:42.000 But that's something Lenny Clark would say to fuck with you.
02:31:45.000 He put the Maluk on me.
02:31:47.000 You know what I'm saying?
02:31:49.000 We're not plagiarizing or doing anything like that.
02:31:54.000 No, we're influenced.
02:31:55.000 We're influenced, and nothing's wrong with that.
02:31:57.000 Also, one thing that's important is we're all real fans of comedy.
02:32:00.000 I know you're still a fan.
02:32:01.000 You still enjoy watching comedy.
02:32:03.000 Still love it.
02:32:04.000 You know, I go to the fourth wall a lot, Chair Rogan.
02:32:07.000 The fourth wall was what Mickey told Rocky to do.
02:32:13.000 You know me.
02:32:14.000 I gotta take it back to the Rocky movie.
02:32:15.000 Mickey told Rocky to do what?
02:32:17.000 Win, Rocky!
02:32:18.000 Win!
02:32:19.000 Because he wanted...
02:32:20.000 Somebody took...
02:32:22.000 Oh, no!
02:32:22.000 I'm sorry.
02:32:23.000 Apollo took Rocky to the dirty gym and said, look at these motherfuckers.
02:32:28.000 Take it back.
02:32:29.000 No, no, no, no, no.
02:32:31.000 He took them to his own black gym, and he goes, I wanted you to look at these guys so you could look at their eyes.
02:32:37.000 And he goes, remember when your eyes used to be like that rock?
02:32:40.000 Oh, that's right.
02:32:40.000 He goes, remember when your eyes used to be like that rock?
02:32:43.000 So lately, I've been going, before I go out in there, I go to the fourth wall in North Hollywood.
02:32:48.000 And I pay $5 to do five minutes.
02:32:51.000 And the rule is, you have to sit there.
02:32:54.000 You know most open mics, you do your stage time and you leave?
02:32:57.000 Right.
02:32:57.000 You have to sit there and watch others.
02:33:00.000 Wow.
02:33:00.000 And I'll tell you something.
02:33:01.000 The last six weeks, I've learned more from watching these open micers than anything.
02:33:07.000 Because I also realized that where I was when I was one of these guys, I wanted what I had right now.
02:33:17.000 I wanted to be a headliner.
02:33:19.000 I wanted to not be a rich guy, but I wanted to just be funny.
02:33:26.000 I wanted to be accepted as a comedian.
02:33:28.000 And ever since, I've been going to the fourth wall.
02:33:30.000 I go there three or four nights a week, Joe Rogan.
02:33:32.000 I pay $5 to do five minutes.
02:33:34.000 I'm no better than anybody else.
02:33:36.000 But the main thing is he asks me when I want to go up.
02:33:39.000 And I always tell him towards the end.
02:33:42.000 Because I want to watch these kids.
02:33:44.000 And Joe, every time I leave there, bro, I leave laughing.
02:33:47.000 And I fucking learn something.
02:33:49.000 Really?
02:33:50.000 And I'm back.
02:33:50.000 No alcohol in there, Joe Rogan.
02:33:53.000 Just fucking eight people watching you do five minutes.
02:33:58.000 I want you to think about when you were doing five minutes...
02:34:01.000 And what was going through your heart?
02:34:02.000 I'm just telling you, my heart's beating.
02:34:04.000 Right.
02:34:05.000 Because I still remember bombing and leaving there thinking, now I'm going to have to get a waiter job, or now you're going to have to get a cook job.
02:34:13.000 These guys all have day jobs.
02:34:15.000 They all talk about their shitty jobs.
02:34:18.000 But every time I go to the fourth wall, bro, I fucking learn something.
02:34:22.000 I go there some nights, I go to flappers.
02:34:24.000 I go there some nights, I go to the store.
02:34:27.000 I go there some nights, I go to...
02:34:30.000 The ha-ha.
02:34:31.000 I do it that way.
02:34:33.000 But I always go there.
02:34:34.000 And every time I go there, I always go there with like five minutes planned.
02:34:38.000 Bro, it doesn't even hit the stage.
02:34:41.000 Because from watching those guys, I learn something.
02:34:43.000 I remember something.
02:34:45.000 And I just come up with this crazy story.
02:34:47.000 So I look at it as like doing kettlebells.
02:34:51.000 Yeah.
02:34:52.000 That's a good way to look at it.
02:34:54.000 I really do.
02:34:55.000 I look at these young guys and I remember that pain and that confusion that I had.
02:34:59.000 That fucking feeling you had when you were in open mic or when your friends were telling you you were funny, but you still had to drive the limo or keep the paper job route or still drop off papers or whatever the fuck job you said you had.
02:35:11.000 You told me the story about meeting at Atlantic and all that.
02:35:15.000 You're still in that crossroads of comedy where you don't know what to do, but you know in your fucking heart that you just can't wait to be a headliner.
02:35:26.000 Somebody would just give you a chance.
02:35:28.000 Back then, I wasn't even thinking I could ever be a headliner.
02:35:31.000 I was just hoping I could make a living.
02:35:34.000 I never thought I'd wind up being successful.
02:35:37.000 And when you mean living, you mean...
02:35:39.000 Food.
02:35:39.000 One bedroom, cable TV. Oh, there was a guy that had a fucking loft.
02:35:43.000 He was the king.
02:35:44.000 The guy had a loft.
02:35:45.000 They had taken a schoolhouse and turned it into condominiums.
02:35:49.000 This guy, I'll never forget.
02:35:50.000 I looked up to him.
02:35:51.000 I couldn't believe where he was living.
02:35:53.000 DJ Hazard, that's his name.
02:35:54.000 Hilarious comedian.
02:35:55.000 Oh my god!
02:35:57.000 Yeah, sure!
02:35:58.000 Well, DJ has always been a real nice guy.
02:36:00.000 Excellent guy.
02:36:00.000 Very funny guy.
02:36:02.000 Always has been.
02:36:03.000 But I remember he had like a loft apartment.
02:36:05.000 I remember everybody talked about it.
02:36:07.000 It's like, what?
02:36:07.000 It's got brick walls inside.
02:36:09.000 It's like, he was the king.
02:36:11.000 He was living like an adult, but he was a stand-up comedian.
02:36:15.000 Like everybody else, we had thought about like, you know, you're living like you're barely getting by.
02:36:19.000 Stuffing a bunch of guys into a house, you know.
02:36:21.000 There was a lot of like comedy flop houses where comedians would wind up moving in together or you're Living in some shitty apartment that you could barely afford or you're living with your girlfriend or something.
02:36:32.000 It's weird when you go back and think about it, you know?
02:36:36.000 Like you could have quit at any time.
02:36:38.000 Think about it.
02:36:38.000 Think about your early days when it's terrible and just bombed all the time.
02:36:42.000 If it wasn't for John Leguizamo.
02:36:45.000 Really?
02:36:46.000 Yeah, I watched him do a set one night at the old Triple N in front of eight or nine people.
02:36:52.000 And in his mind, he was at the garden, dog.
02:36:55.000 And I was like, I get it now.
02:36:58.000 Bro, where's your Me Too pin?
02:37:00.000 I left it home.
02:37:02.000 You know who one of the most proud moments as a young comedian?
02:37:07.000 When I was at the Comedy Store and I did a set in front of, you know, like literally like maybe five or six people.
02:37:18.000 But I did it as hard as I would do it in a regular room.
02:37:23.000 And I heard in the back Paul Mooney going, Ah!
02:37:26.000 Ah!
02:37:27.000 Ah!
02:37:29.000 Stop laughing in support.
02:37:30.000 You know how Paul Mooney would laugh in support?
02:37:33.000 And you would go, oh shit, I just got the green light from Paul fucking Mooney.
02:37:37.000 Like Paul Mooney was laughing at my shit.
02:37:39.000 Then he came up to me after the show and he goes, you're a real comic.
02:37:43.000 He's like, you did that show in front of all those people.
02:37:46.000 And he goes, you knew that there was five fucking people in that room.
02:37:49.000 You did that show like it was packed.
02:37:51.000 He goes, that's a real comic.
02:37:52.000 He goes, you made me laugh, motherfucker.
02:37:53.000 That's it.
02:37:53.000 That's what you learned at the comedy show.
02:37:55.000 But when a guy like Paul Mooney says that to you when you're just coming up, you're like, holy shit.
02:37:59.000 Like, I might be able to figure this out.
02:38:01.000 I might be able to do this.
02:38:04.000 It's big, right?
02:38:06.000 Someone coming up to you?
02:38:07.000 You know, it's crazy.
02:38:08.000 When you do a spot at the store, you know you're in the big leagues, bro.
02:38:12.000 Like, no matter where I do a spot, when I travel, that's one thing.
02:38:16.000 When I'm at the store on a Thursday night, Tuesday night, you know you're in some fucking good company.
02:38:21.000 You're doing something right.
02:38:22.000 Yes.
02:38:23.000 Or you did something right.
02:38:24.000 Yes.
02:38:26.000 I love when comics are in the room.
02:38:28.000 I love laughing at comics.
02:38:30.000 I love going to the store a little early and catching two or three great comics and laughing, man.
02:38:36.000 That makes my fucking night.
02:38:37.000 Whether it's you or even Bobby Lee is so fucking out of his mind on stage.
02:38:43.000 You know, lately we've been getting the Ron Whites and the fucking Bill...
02:38:49.000 Bill Burr?
02:38:50.000 Yeah.
02:38:51.000 Yeah, like that.
02:38:52.000 Yeah, I mean, Ron White, Bill Burr, Ali Wong.
02:38:54.000 There was a lineup last week.
02:38:56.000 Chappelle's there all the time.
02:38:57.000 There was a lineup last week that was just ridiculous.
02:39:00.000 It's insane.
02:39:00.000 Two weeks ago.
02:39:01.000 The night I saw you down there, that was just ridiculous.
02:39:04.000 Place is on fire.
02:39:04.000 On the way down, I had anxiety.
02:39:07.000 You know, I puked on the car one time on the way down there from the anxiety of going down there and following.
02:39:12.000 Well, I'm having the surgery on March 5th.
02:39:14.000 For your ear?
02:39:15.000 Yeah.
02:39:16.000 And what do they have to do exactly?
02:39:17.000 Put a tube in there to drain the fluid.
02:39:21.000 What fluids in your ear?
02:39:23.000 It's getting to the point where, listen bro, for the last six months I've been living with plugs when I go to the shower.
02:39:30.000 Now I gotta wear earplugs when I go to jiu-jitsu.
02:39:33.000 Why?
02:39:34.000 What's going on with your ears?
02:39:35.000 Because the fluid goes in...
02:39:37.000 I don't know, dog.
02:39:38.000 I stuck a bean in my ear when I was six.
02:39:41.000 I was playing that game.
02:39:43.000 Please don't spill the beans.
02:39:44.000 And then you stuck one in your ear and fucked it up.
02:39:46.000 And I couldn't get it out.
02:39:47.000 I just left it there.
02:39:48.000 Oh, I probably rotted over.
02:39:49.000 It went in there and fucked it up.
02:39:52.000 My mother put hot oil in there.
02:39:53.000 They took it out with a fucking...
02:39:54.000 Oh no!
02:39:55.000 They wrecked your ear.
02:39:56.000 So they wrecked my ear.
02:39:57.000 So today, I get car sick.
02:40:00.000 A doctor didn't take it out?
02:40:01.000 Yeah, I went up to London, the Jewish hospital, 160th and Broadway up there.
02:40:07.000 That's hurting my ear just thinking about it.
02:40:09.000 So now, 50 years later, Because of my driving, or whatever, now I get car sick.
02:40:15.000 Oh, like equilibrium.
02:40:17.000 So I have to even wear earplugs when I go on walks and it's hot.
02:40:22.000 I gotta wear earplugs because if not, the sweat goes in my ear.
02:40:26.000 You know what?
02:40:26.000 I used to get terrible fucking car sickness from trying to read a book in a car.
02:40:31.000 Oh yeah, you cannot do anything like that in a car.
02:40:33.000 After a while, you're just like...
02:40:34.000 Oh, especially with reading glasses at this age.
02:40:37.000 Oh, really?
02:40:37.000 Put reading glasses on and try to read your Twitter, Jack.
02:40:41.000 And come around that turn where the 405 hits the 101 and see what happens to your fucking stomach.
02:40:49.000 It's a weird thing, huh?
02:40:50.000 Motion sickness?
02:40:52.000 Some people get it all the time.
02:40:54.000 I get it all the time.
02:40:55.000 Not on planes.
02:40:57.000 I get it if I get high and get on a boat.
02:41:00.000 Go down to Jersey Shore, get on a boat, I'm done.
02:41:02.000 I gotta take the pills.
02:41:04.000 Oh, those pills, Dramamine?
02:41:05.000 That stuff is brutal.
02:41:06.000 That stuff is brutal.
02:41:07.000 I would rather be seasick than be that tired.
02:41:09.000 I'd rather be sick.
02:41:10.000 I'll throw up.
02:41:11.000 I don't give a fuck.
02:41:12.000 It sucks, but at least I don't feel like I'm drugged out.
02:41:16.000 Like, I fell asleep in a diner.
02:41:18.000 Me and my friend Jimmy Dutillio, we went bluefish fishing on one of those party boats.
02:41:23.000 On the way home, we stopped at a diner to get something to eat.
02:41:25.000 I literally fell asleep, head down, on the table.
02:41:29.000 I literally was, like, drugged out.
02:41:31.000 Were you on the Dramamine?
02:41:32.000 Yeah, I was on Dramamine.
02:41:33.000 And I was only, like...
02:41:37.000 150 pounds back then.
02:41:39.000 154 pounds.
02:41:40.000 That was like what I was weighing when I was competing.
02:41:43.000 And I never did anything.
02:41:45.000 I didn't do anything.
02:41:46.000 I didn't drink.
02:41:47.000 I didn't smoke pot.
02:41:47.000 I didn't do shit.
02:41:49.000 So when that drama beat hit my system, my system was like, check please.
02:41:53.000 It just shut down.
02:41:54.000 I couldn't.
02:41:55.000 I had no tolerance at all.
02:41:56.000 I fell completely asleep at a diner.
02:42:01.000 But I tried to take what my friend Jimmy took.
02:42:02.000 He's way bigger than me.
02:42:03.000 I think I just overdosed.
02:42:04.000 Let me ask you something.
02:42:06.000 When Harvey Weinstein gets out of rehab and he wants to come on the podcast, would you let him on?
02:42:11.000 I'd let him on if you're coming on, too.
02:42:13.000 Why?
02:42:14.000 Because we're going to have some fun with him.
02:42:15.000 Oh, yeah.
02:42:16.000 Let's hotbox him.
02:42:17.000 We want the fucking real footage.
02:42:19.000 He's got some crazy footage.
02:42:21.000 You can't have him anywhere.
02:42:23.000 You know, that guy, especially in the middle, we're joking around folks, especially in the middle of a trial, because he's in the middle of like a ton of trials.
02:42:29.000 Oh, when he comes back, he's going to get charged?
02:42:31.000 Oh, for sure.
02:42:32.000 Something's going to happen.
02:42:32.000 There's so many different trials in terms of like civil lawsuits and stuff.
02:42:36.000 It's a lot of women saying he did horrible things.
02:42:40.000 It's, uh, undoubtedly, there's no way he's going to skate.
02:42:43.000 Something's going to happen.
02:42:44.000 Something.
02:42:45.000 Civic trial, criminal trial, some kind of trial.
02:42:47.000 Yeah, he's going to have civil trials.
02:42:49.000 Absolutely.
02:42:50.000 We're changing as a species.
02:42:52.000 That's what's happening.
02:42:53.000 And in the way, it's like we're making it up as we go along.
02:42:56.000 There's a lot of rocky things that are happening, a lot of chaos.
02:42:59.000 But there's an awareness of what you should and shouldn't do to human beings in terms of forcing yourself on people.
02:43:08.000 You know, fucking them when they say no.
02:43:10.000 It's like rape.
02:43:12.000 And the idea that we're still doing that in 2018 and people are doing that at a really high level.
02:43:18.000 It's like, boy.
02:43:20.000 But I had creepy things when I moved to this fucking town.
02:43:23.000 Of course.
02:43:23.000 Right off the bat.
02:43:24.000 As soon as I got here, I heard the creepiest fucking things.
02:43:28.000 And the more you got into the movies, I heard even creepier things, and I saw creepy behavior.
02:43:36.000 And listen, man, you never want to call a fucking spade a spade because you get in trouble.
02:43:41.000 But you look at Kevin, what's his name?
02:43:43.000 Spark, what's his name?
02:43:44.000 Which guy?
02:43:45.000 Kevin Spacey.
02:43:45.000 Kevin Spacey, yeah.
02:43:46.000 You can't tell, he sucks dick part time.
02:43:49.000 You never knew he would suck a dick part time if you looked at Kevin Spacey.
02:43:52.000 If you look at that fucking dude, Lee Harvey Weinstein, you can't tell that that dude would make you suck his dick before...
02:44:01.000 Think about that.
02:44:02.000 And all these people took pictures with him.
02:44:04.000 What happened to the fucking agents that actually sent you on that mission to Lee Harvey's fucking hotel room?
02:44:09.000 I want to know where the fuck they are.
02:44:11.000 They didn't know that Lee Harvey was going to come out with a massage.
02:44:15.000 And ask you to suck his fucking dick or watch him naked?
02:44:19.000 Bro, we knew for a long fucking time.
02:44:21.000 Everybody knew.
02:44:22.000 When there's a fucking gap, when you have a dream and you have power, a lot of things can happen.
02:44:29.000 I mean, I'm no fucking Liberace, but I got my dick sucked at the Comedy Store just because of being a comedian and somebody thought that you, like, had supernatural powers.
02:44:39.000 It's fucking crazy.
02:44:41.000 And if you don't know about fucking Hollywood, listen man, they've been fucking people till they're dead for years.
02:44:48.000 Look at this fucking Marilyn Monroe.
02:44:50.000 They killed that bitch.
02:44:52.000 And you know who else was a dirty motherfucker?
02:44:54.000 That fucking Liberace.
02:44:55.000 That guy was making you sign contracts, making you fucking have plastic surgery.
02:45:01.000 Are you fucking kidding me?
02:45:03.000 There's been some creepy fucking shit in this town that people got away with for fucking zillions of years.
02:45:10.000 And now, and I tell you what, man, I'm all for the movement.
02:45:14.000 I'm all for it.
02:45:15.000 I have a daughter.
02:45:16.000 You have daughters.
02:45:17.000 I have sisters.
02:45:18.000 I got friends.
02:45:20.000 I'll tell you what fucking bothers me the most.
02:45:22.000 I'll tell you the only thing that bothers me out of this.
02:45:24.000 You know what, bro?
02:45:28.000 Who was in Papillon with Steve McQueen?
02:45:32.000 I don't remember.
02:45:33.000 Dustin Hoffman.
02:45:34.000 Was he?
02:45:35.000 If he finger-banged you in 73, shut the fuck up.
02:45:37.000 All right?
02:45:39.000 Shut the fuck up.
02:45:40.000 People changed.
02:45:41.000 I'm not the same guy who kidnapped Kent Bell in 1987. I'm not.
02:45:45.000 Sorry, Joe.
02:45:46.000 I'm not.
02:45:47.000 So how are you going to come back at me about something I did in 1987?
02:45:51.000 I was a different guy.
02:45:53.000 I was doing blow.
02:45:54.000 I had to ask you to finger-bang you.
02:45:56.000 You can't do that.
02:45:57.000 That I don't want to do.
02:45:58.000 Don't end somebody's fucking career because he stuck a finger in your ass in 92 and now it came back to you through the scale of amnesia.
02:46:06.000 You can't do that to me.
02:46:07.000 You want to call me out personally?
02:46:09.000 Call me the fuck out.
02:46:10.000 Call me at home and go, hey man, in 94 one night you asked me if you could eat my asshole.
02:46:15.000 You were wrong.
02:46:16.000 Listen, I was doing an eight ball a day.
02:46:18.000 What do you want from me, all right?
02:46:19.000 I resolved that issue.
02:46:21.000 That I understand.
02:46:22.000 But don't call me out on something I did in 1972. People fucking change, bro.
02:46:28.000 That's what pissed me off.
02:46:30.000 There's some giant gaps we're talking about.
02:46:32.000 For Jeremy Piven, it was 1985. And don't fucking call me out.
02:46:38.000 Before you call me out, call me out with a friend.
02:46:42.000 But you're talking about at what level, though?
02:46:44.000 If it gets to rape...
02:46:46.000 And you've been holding it in this whole time.
02:46:48.000 Listen, the where I come from, that's not even allowed.
02:46:50.000 That word never entered my mind, ever.
02:46:53.000 I'm talking about if I was coked out of the bar one night and I went up to you and I told you your titties were banging and I want to put a coke rock in your asshole.
02:47:01.000 You can't come at me for something in 1988 because I used to do it every other night.
02:47:05.000 That was my opening line.
02:47:06.000 Listen, you asshole's on fire.
02:47:08.000 What's it going to take for me to stick my tongue in that fucking thing and make that thing jiggle?
02:47:13.000 You know, you're not gonna, listen, you're not gonna get a piece of ass by selling somebody real estate.
02:47:17.000 You gotta sell them dick.
02:47:19.000 Well, the ones that it works on, that's the ones you want.
02:47:22.000 Like, if you can go up to a gal and say that to her...
02:47:24.000 Yeah, when I was doing coke, you gotta write me off.
02:47:27.000 If I knew you were a girl, and I knew you did coke, and you had that certain look in your eyes...
02:47:33.000 What's the coke look?
02:47:35.000 The coke look that is...
02:47:37.000 When you do cocaine, you do dirty fucking things.
02:47:43.000 So when you look at a girl that's doing cocaine and she's like, if she suggests to you that she's going back to your hotel with you, it's on.
02:47:53.000 Nobody goes back to their hotel with you when they have a boyfriend if you're doing coke.
02:47:59.000 It's on.
02:48:00.000 The percentages keep getting go higher and higher.
02:48:04.000 Well, coke apparently makes people promiscuous, right?
02:48:06.000 Right.
02:48:06.000 Makes people go fucking bananas.
02:48:08.000 They're going to suck your dick.
02:48:09.000 So you take somebody's wife up to your hotel room and it's 6 a.m.
02:48:13.000 and she's doing coke with you, you'll notice that one of the times she comes out of the bathroom, the button will be opened.
02:48:20.000 You know what I'm saying?
02:48:21.000 Then the next time she comes out, she'll come out to tell you a story and her pants will come out and she'll butt them in front of you.
02:48:27.000 Little things start to happen to give you signs.
02:48:31.000 And pretty soon you're like, listen, not for nothing.
02:48:33.000 Take off your pants.
02:48:34.000 Let me see you play with your pussy a little bit.
02:48:38.000 That's what gets me right now is the 20-year call-out, the 30-year call-out.
02:48:44.000 Now you're going to ruin Dustin Hoffman's career.
02:48:46.000 He was giving out foot rubs.
02:48:48.000 He was acting creepy.
02:48:52.000 But you know what, bro?
02:48:54.000 Part of that shit, we allow that creepiness in society.
02:48:57.000 We turn our fucking heads.
02:48:59.000 You follow what I'm saying to you?
02:49:01.000 I'm sure you're not the type to ever turn your head, and I'm not the type to turn my head, but I notice it.
02:49:07.000 I notice it.
02:49:08.000 The cocaine thing is a real interesting one because you see people making crazy decisions.
02:49:13.000 Just real nutty fucking decisions.
02:49:15.000 No, you're selatonin, menatonin, you're messing with your whole system.
02:49:19.000 Your whole system.
02:49:20.000 So your whole system's delusional.
02:49:22.000 I remember going out like after a long night and not sleeping.
02:49:27.000 Okay, now, there comes to a point where you have this paranoia where you don't leave the house.
02:49:32.000 But now that comes to a paranoia that you're going to leave the house and bump into somebody.
02:49:37.000 And guess what?
02:49:39.000 Sometimes you actually do.
02:49:42.000 You go to a 7-Eleven to get a soda and you bump into somebody who's in the same predicament as you.
02:49:48.000 That happened to me once.
02:49:50.000 I went by Gavin's.
02:49:52.000 I think I was staying with Ralphie, and I went by Gavin's, and on the first floor there was this chick that used to be a stripper, and she had a daughter that was about 13, kind of ugly.
02:50:02.000 She looked like Pavarotti.
02:50:03.000 We used to call her Pavarotti because she had thick fucking eyebrows and shit.
02:50:08.000 But her mother was kind of a freak.
02:50:09.000 And I got up, like, I was up all night.
02:50:12.000 It was like 9 in the morning, and I was about to call my drug dealer to get a package at 11 to keep the party alive.
02:50:18.000 And I bumped into that animal in the stairway.
02:50:22.000 And she asked me, like, you know, I get some coke right now.
02:50:25.000 I was on my way.
02:50:28.000 And that chick was engaged.
02:50:32.000 I'll never forget this.
02:50:33.000 She was engaged.
02:50:35.000 And I go, I'm on my way right now.
02:50:37.000 And she goes, do you want to split a gram?
02:50:38.000 I go, yeah, yeah, let's split a gram.
02:50:40.000 It was like 30 bucks.
02:50:41.000 We went over there.
02:50:42.000 We split the fucking gram.
02:50:43.000 We went back.
02:50:44.000 Her daughter was sleeping.
02:50:46.000 So we had to do the coke in the hallway on the first floor.
02:50:49.000 Psst!
02:50:50.000 All right, under the stairway.
02:50:52.000 You know what I'm saying?
02:50:53.000 Right.
02:50:54.000 And after we did two blanks, we were just thinking there, looking at each other.
02:50:58.000 And she's like, don't even ask.
02:51:00.000 I just told a guy that was bothering me all night that I wouldn't give him sex.
02:51:04.000 I go, listen, it's 10 in the morning.
02:51:06.000 You got to do something here.
02:51:07.000 We got to do something.
02:51:09.000 And I started swapping spit.
02:51:11.000 Well, the next thing you know, she's sucking the helmet.
02:51:14.000 And when I went to come, she goes, don't do that.
02:51:16.000 And I came on her jeans.
02:51:18.000 Like, it was all over her jeans.
02:51:20.000 It's 11.30 in the morning.
02:51:22.000 You come on some of these jeans, you're coked up.
02:51:24.000 I felt like a piece of shit.
02:51:26.000 That's not the worst of it.
02:51:28.000 I see her three nights later at El Compadre.
02:51:32.000 And she's with her boyfriend.
02:51:33.000 I'm like, oh, no.
02:51:36.000 And her boyfriend comes over to me.
02:51:38.000 He goes, hey, man, we might have a problem here.
02:51:40.000 And I'm like, what?
02:51:41.000 What's going on?
02:51:41.000 He goes...
02:51:43.000 My girl was a little bit angry at you.
02:51:45.000 I don't know what happened, but I think you should apologize.
02:51:47.000 I felt like going, I came on the pants after she sucked my dick.
02:51:51.000 That's what happened.
02:51:52.000 Did you tell you that?
02:51:53.000 Like, that's how crazy the coke world is.
02:51:56.000 Oh, my God.
02:51:56.000 Like, she told her boyfriend she was angry at me.
02:51:59.000 It's none of your business.
02:52:00.000 Why?
02:52:01.000 So he came over to me.
02:52:03.000 He goes, I don't know what's going on.
02:52:04.000 You're a nice guy.
02:52:06.000 I don't know what's going on.
02:52:07.000 I feel like going, you know why?
02:52:08.000 She blew me 11 in the morning.
02:52:10.000 Then I came on her jeans.
02:52:12.000 Pfft.
02:52:12.000 I shot a load on the jeans.
02:52:14.000 She couldn't fucking...
02:52:15.000 You know what?
02:52:15.000 What do you spray on your jeans to get shit off?
02:52:17.000 I'm gonna shot it out.
02:52:19.000 She couldn't shot out that sperm if she fucking wanted to.
02:52:23.000 That old coke sperm.
02:52:25.000 No vitamins in my system.
02:52:27.000 I weighed 380 pounds.
02:52:29.000 Those jeans were stayed for life, dog.
02:52:42.000 I did the dumbest shit on all those drugs.
02:52:45.000 The dumbest shit.
02:52:46.000 And especially the year it took me to get off it.
02:52:49.000 What's going on?
02:52:50.000 Someone at our door.
02:52:51.000 Oh, okay.
02:52:52.000 Who the fuck is this?
02:52:53.000 Paging me at 546 in the morning.
02:52:56.000 Cracker dawning.
02:52:57.000 What's going on?
02:52:58.000 Is it FedEx?
02:52:59.000 Probably.
02:53:00.000 Someone dropping something off.
02:53:01.000 Um, anyway.
02:53:03.000 What's up, my brother?
02:53:03.000 Nothing.
02:53:04.000 We gotta get out of here.
02:53:05.000 Eventually.
02:53:06.000 Alright.
02:53:06.000 I'm gonna leave eventually.
02:53:07.000 I'm good.
02:53:08.000 I'm having a good time.
02:53:09.000 It was good to see you.
02:53:10.000 It was good to see you too, man.
02:53:11.000 Jamie, my man, I thought about you when I saw fucking the Crimson Tide come back against them.
02:53:17.000 I thought about you.
02:53:18.000 Who'd you bet?
02:53:20.000 That one, yeah.
02:53:21.000 I lost on that one.
02:53:22.000 Tell me the truth.
02:53:22.000 I tried parlaying some stuff on it.
02:53:24.000 Oh, you fuck.
02:53:25.000 I'll go straight up.
02:53:26.000 You love those sucker bets.
02:53:27.000 For sure.
02:53:28.000 You gotta go straight up.
02:53:29.000 It's winning the lottery.
02:53:29.000 Why win $20 when you can win $200?
02:53:31.000 No, because I'd rather raise my percentage and bet one and double up on it and just worry about one.
02:53:37.000 Why am I sweating two moves?
02:53:38.000 Who the fuck am I to sweat two moves?
02:53:40.000 I don't want to get in that long game.
02:53:42.000 Oh my God.
02:53:43.000 Fall too deep like you were talking about the whole show.
02:53:45.000 Who the fuck is this?
02:53:46.000 What's the next fight on the card?
02:53:47.000 It's too exciting.
02:53:48.000 We got some great cards to go over.
02:53:50.000 The Rockhold Romero fight.
02:53:51.000 That's a great one.
02:53:52.000 Rockhold Romero.
02:53:53.000 And then you got March 7th, Khabib against Tony Ferguson.
02:53:56.000 Holy shit, in Brooklyn.
02:53:57.000 Coming at you from all directions.
02:53:59.000 That's going to be insane.
02:54:00.000 In Brooklyn, New York.
02:54:01.000 Are you doing a show that weekend in Brooklyn?
02:54:03.000 Yeah.
02:54:03.000 Isn't it April?
02:54:04.000 It's April, right?
02:54:05.000 April.
02:54:06.000 What's the exact date?
02:54:07.000 April 7th, I believe.
02:54:09.000 Yeah, I think it's April.
02:54:11.000 Fuck.
02:54:11.000 Yeah, that's a crazy fight.
02:54:12.000 That is a horrible time I'm having surgery.
02:54:15.000 That's a rock'em sock'em robots fight.
02:54:17.000 Yeah, 223. That's a who-the-fuck-knows fight.
02:54:21.000 You know?
02:54:22.000 That's one of those fights where you're like, ooh, that's gonna be a crazy one.
02:54:26.000 Tony Ferguson's a bad motherfucker, and Khabib Nurmagomedov is already one of the scariest guys I've ever seen compete.
02:54:36.000 Ever.
02:54:36.000 Maul's people.
02:54:37.000 Already.
02:54:38.000 This is his first shot at the title.
02:54:39.000 Just stop and think of what happens if that fucking savage gets the title.
02:54:42.000 That guy smashes people.
02:54:44.000 What he did to Edson Barbosa was supernatural.
02:54:47.000 It's like he's not even the same thing.
02:54:49.000 You said something during that fight that said it all.
02:54:52.000 There was one point in the fight that you said, look at the look.
02:54:57.000 In Edson's face.
02:54:58.000 Edson's face.
02:54:58.000 Yeah.
02:54:59.000 And I've had that look, and that's when you're getting chased by 18 people.
02:55:03.000 He had a look that he didn't know what to do.
02:55:07.000 He had no hope.
02:55:07.000 He had no hope.
02:55:07.000 He went into a survival situation, like when you see a deer that's getting attacked by a crocodile or something.
02:55:14.000 They have this survival thing.
02:55:17.000 Thing where you're just trying to survive.
02:55:19.000 Obviously a deer is not the same.
02:55:21.000 That's a terrible analogy.
02:55:22.000 Let me correct this.
02:55:24.000 What I think is that Barboza had realized that there's no way he's going to beat this guy on the ground.
02:55:29.000 It's not even close.
02:55:31.000 I think if he went into that fight, he probably thought he'd be able to stuff more takedowns and probably be able to get back off his feet because he was doing that with a lot of guys in camp.
02:55:39.000 But once that guy gets a hold of you, there's an acceptance that certain fighters go through where they're locked down like, holy shit, like they're just drained from this animal mauling them, trying to retain their energy, trying to recharge their battery, trying to get back in it.
02:55:54.000 And you've got to realize, that guy, Edson Barbosa, is one of the best fucking kickers ever.
02:55:59.000 Ever.
02:56:00.000 He's one of the best kickers ever.
02:56:02.000 That fucking guy is the fastest switch kick I've ever seen in my life.
02:56:06.000 Outside of, like, professional Muay Thai, like Sanchai or Bukau or something like that, he's got a world-class left leg kick.
02:56:14.000 I mean, woo!
02:56:15.000 He's fast as fuck.
02:56:17.000 He couldn't keep that guy off him.
02:56:19.000 That's how scary that guy is.
02:56:20.000 There was a look on his face to me where...
02:56:22.000 He drilled for hours.
02:56:25.000 He drilled take down the fence.
02:56:27.000 He drilled everything there was.
02:56:29.000 But he never drilled this.
02:56:31.000 Couldn't do it.
02:56:32.000 Like there was one point where he looked and he was like, wait a second.
02:56:36.000 I've done everything I can.
02:56:38.000 I even trained with the Giants taking me down for a week.
02:56:41.000 Different animal.
02:56:42.000 I never felt this.
02:56:44.000 I don't know how he keeps you down either.
02:56:46.000 His control on that side is fucking something that is...
02:56:52.000 There's certain guys that have a grappling skill that's very hard to see when you're looking at it.
02:56:57.000 Even if you're a skillful grappler yourself, you're looking at someone, you're like, why is he able to do that to everybody?
02:57:04.000 What is he doing differently?
02:57:06.000 Why is this one guy being able to do certain things that other people can't do?
02:57:09.000 And there's a few of those guys out there where you watch them and you just go, Jesus.
02:57:14.000 Like, what the fuck?
02:57:15.000 But Khabib's the number one guy in that category because he's never been defeated.
02:57:19.000 He's had one moment of adversity in the octagon.
02:57:21.000 He got clipped by a punch from Michael Johnson.
02:57:24.000 I can't think of a single round he's lost.
02:57:27.000 Not off the top of my head, at least.
02:57:28.000 I mean, he may have lost rounds on some judges' scorecards, but he's essentially mauled every motherfucker they put in front of him.
02:57:34.000 He's an animal.
02:57:35.000 So this guy versus Tony, it's a phenomenal fight.
02:57:39.000 Because Tony is a savage, and Tony fights very well off of his back.
02:57:43.000 He is a seriously dangerous guard.
02:57:45.000 You can't sleep on him.
02:57:47.000 He's durable as fuck.
02:57:48.000 He can knock you out.
02:57:49.000 He never gets tired.
02:57:51.000 And he's as game as they come.
02:57:52.000 And he's the fucking champ right now.
02:57:54.000 He's the interim champ.
02:57:55.000 You know, when he beat Kevin Lee with a triangle, he beat a top guy like Kevin Lee with a fucking triangle.
02:58:00.000 That's a big move.
02:58:02.000 Tony's dangerous.
02:58:03.000 Nasty Darce chokes.
02:58:04.000 His Darce choke is one of the best in his sport.
02:58:06.000 Kevin Lee's great, but he wasn't ready for Tony, bro.
02:58:08.000 Kevin Lee was sick, too.
02:58:10.000 He had staff.
02:58:10.000 He had staff.
02:58:12.000 Unquestionably hurt him.
02:58:14.000 He wasn't.
02:58:15.000 Tony has...
02:58:16.000 It's too high level.
02:58:17.000 That was too...
02:58:18.000 You could see in the second round.
02:58:20.000 Perhaps.
02:58:21.000 I would like to see that fight again.
02:58:22.000 You have to say that because that's how it went down.
02:58:24.000 That's how I saw it, yeah.
02:58:25.000 But I think that if you wanted to have them fight again, and Kevin Lee can go into that fight healthy, I think you'd see a very different fight.
02:58:33.000 I don't think you would see Tony...
02:58:35.000 I'm not saying that you would see Tony lose or Kevin win, but I would think you would see a Kevin Lee that could sustain his performance longer.
02:58:41.000 I think being drained from staff is just...
02:58:43.000 Right, yeah.
02:58:44.000 There's no...
02:58:45.000 I've had it before.
02:58:45.000 It's the worst.
02:58:47.000 It's not the worst, but it's not good.
02:58:49.000 Your body goes into a very weakened state.
02:58:51.000 You are not the same thing.
02:58:52.000 You're just not.
02:58:54.000 If you're a real professional, you can go out there and do your job, and a lot of guys have.
02:58:57.000 A lot of guys have fought and won.
02:58:59.000 Luke Rockhold beat Chris Weidman on antibiotics.
02:59:01.000 How about that?
02:59:02.000 He was fighting off staff when he beat Chris fucking Weidman.
02:59:05.000 That's how good Luke Rockhold is.
02:59:07.000 Guys have done it, but that's not him at 100%.
02:59:09.000 He wanted 70 or 80 or whatever the fuck it was.
02:59:14.000 There's no doubt about it.
02:59:16.000 Staph infections and antibiotics both fuck you up.
02:59:18.000 And Kevin Lee, I believe, opted to not take the antibiotics until after the fight.
02:59:23.000 So he didn't want to weaken his system.
02:59:24.000 But he's still weakened by the staph.
02:59:27.000 Fuck.
02:59:29.000 Fuck all that shit.
02:59:31.000 Demetrius Johnson vs.
02:59:33.000 TJ Dillashaw's super fight targeted for UFC 226 in co-main event.
02:59:37.000 Oh, shit.
02:59:38.000 Where's 226 at?
02:59:40.000 I don't know.
02:59:40.000 July Vegas.
02:59:41.000 Oh, shit.
02:59:43.000 Steep A, DC fight.
02:59:44.000 Oh, shit.
02:59:47.000 That's a big card.
02:59:48.000 Let me tell you something, bro.
02:59:50.000 They got some good cards coming up.
02:59:52.000 That's a big card.
02:59:52.000 McGregor's kept sleeping.
02:59:54.000 Don't sleep, motherfucker.
02:59:55.000 This game might run by you and shit.
02:59:58.000 These motherfucking fights are getting better and better now again.
03:00:01.000 I would love to see Steep A become a superstar.
03:00:03.000 Me too.
03:00:04.000 I think he deserves it.
03:00:06.000 And I think you look at where that guy is right now, like...
03:00:09.000 What is more American than this guy?
03:00:10.000 Like you said, with his immigrant name, what is more American than a guy who works right now as a fireman while he's the UFC heavyweight champion in the world?
03:00:17.000 He's a good dude, bro.
03:00:18.000 He's a great dude.
03:00:19.000 And broke the record.
03:00:20.000 He's a very good dude.
03:00:20.000 Broke the record for the most defensive.
03:00:22.000 He's a very good dude.
03:00:23.000 And beat the scariest contender we've seen in a decade.
03:00:26.000 You know, again, I watch the podcast a lot and you had those guys on.
03:00:29.000 You were talking about the Tower of Jeet Kune Do.
03:00:32.000 And I think that a lot of people really miss out on the main thing.
03:00:37.000 And this is what you miss out with me and everybody.
03:00:40.000 I miss out with you?
03:00:42.000 No, no, no.
03:00:42.000 I don't...
03:00:43.000 You mean other people, you mean?
03:00:44.000 Yeah.
03:00:45.000 Like, whenever I watch these Bruce Lee fucking things and I see these kids that are 30 talking about Bruce Lee, I get sick to my stomach.
03:00:52.000 Because...
03:00:53.000 Bruce Lee didn't bring martial arts to this country.
03:00:58.000 He gave immigrants hope, bro.
03:01:00.000 I was a kid.
03:01:01.000 I had just come from Cuba.
03:01:03.000 The Green Hornet on Sunday nights, I would throw you out the window to watch that show when I was five.
03:01:09.000 And then they canceled them.
03:01:11.000 And then he came back with the first one that's supposed to be Fist of Fury, but some argue that was a flat.
03:01:19.000 That didn't do that good.
03:01:20.000 That introduced him.
03:01:22.000 It was the one in 71, the Chinese Connection, when I was eight.
03:01:26.000 That was a great movie.
03:01:27.000 That really put this country over.
03:01:33.000 It didn't mean you were a tough guy.
03:01:36.000 On YouTube, how many black guys are there that think they're Chinese and they got wisdom?
03:01:42.000 What was the guy I used to send you videos of?
03:01:46.000 Yeah, I forget the guy's name, but there's a bunch of those guys.
03:01:50.000 Bruce Lee didn't make people tougher.
03:01:51.000 He gave immigrants blacks, he gave them hope.
03:01:56.000 How many black dudes started dressing like Bruce Lee and, you know, doing crazy shit?
03:02:01.000 Wearing kung-fu outfits.
03:02:02.000 Wearing kung-fu outfits.
03:02:04.000 You know, everybody's wrong about Bruce Lee, because I saw it.
03:02:07.000 And I saw his death.
03:02:09.000 And I saw how people would go to Chinatown because there was no internet.
03:02:13.000 Fighters still today, when they go to Seattle, they go to his grave.
03:02:16.000 I went to his grave.
03:02:17.000 I went to his grave, took a picture and gave it to Eddie Griffin.
03:02:19.000 That's why Eddie Griffin was always indebted to me.
03:02:22.000 Because I gave him a picture of Bruce Lee's grave and just shit.
03:02:26.000 That's hilarious.
03:02:27.000 Bruce Lee, when he died, there was no internet.
03:02:30.000 They didn't report Bruce Lee's death on the news.
03:02:33.000 How did people find out about it?
03:02:34.000 You found out a week later when the Chinese newspaper hit New York and then in Chinatown.
03:02:41.000 It came out through Chinatown.
03:02:43.000 When I heard about it, I was forced to go to Chinatown and get the paperwork with the pictures.
03:02:51.000 It was an open casket in China.
03:02:55.000 And the open casket was glass around him and him.
03:02:58.000 Nobody believed Bruce Lee was dead.
03:03:01.000 Then Enter the Dragon came out, bada-bing, bada-boom.
03:03:03.000 Everybody made a million dollars and nobody said nothing.
03:03:07.000 But his death, bro, fucked people up.
03:03:12.000 Like, you know, Bruce Lee gave hope because the Vietnam War was going on and there was something else going on in this country that people don't remember that destroyed this country.
03:03:23.000 You know what shot this country down?
03:03:25.000 What?
03:03:25.000 When the Beatles broke up.
03:03:27.000 Jesus fucking Christ did people lose their mind.
03:03:30.000 So you always get into arguments with people.
03:03:33.000 Led Zeppelin's a good band.
03:03:34.000 Yeah, but wait till the Beatles get back together, bitch.
03:03:37.000 Really?
03:03:37.000 Because they were always threatening you with the Beatles.
03:03:40.000 Dog, I like Jethro Tull.
03:03:41.000 Yeah, but they're not nothing compared to the Beatles.
03:03:43.000 So until John Lennon got shot, then those people had a voice.
03:03:47.000 Fuck you and the Beatles, bitch.
03:03:48.000 Bruce Springsteen is the man.
03:03:50.000 You know what you would love?
03:03:52.000 What?
03:03:52.000 Go to the Mirage show, the Beatles Cirque du Soleil show.
03:03:56.000 It's called Love.
03:03:58.000 It's fucking incredible.
03:03:59.000 When did you go?
03:03:59.000 Incredible.
03:04:00.000 A couple weeks ago.
03:04:02.000 You were there doing stand-up?
03:04:02.000 I was there with my family.
03:04:04.000 Okay.
03:04:05.000 And I wanted to see the Cirque du Soleil show.
03:04:07.000 It's supposed to be amazing.
03:04:08.000 Right.
03:04:08.000 I see the original Cirque du Soleil.
03:04:10.000 Well, there's a gang of them now.
03:04:11.000 Nobody remembers, bro.
03:04:12.000 When the Beatles broke up, this country went through a tough time.
03:04:17.000 You have no fucking idea.
03:04:19.000 No, you don't have any idea.
03:04:20.000 If you're young, it's hard to really put it in perspective.
03:04:24.000 You have no fucking idea.
03:04:24.000 When the Beatles let Let It Be out and they ended it with Let It Be Dog, that was it.
03:04:28.000 People were cracked.
03:04:29.000 White people were cracked, Jack.
03:04:30.000 Fucking incredible song.
03:04:31.000 When you think about when John died, when John Lennon died, what happened in New York that Sunday.
03:04:38.000 You think about that.
03:04:39.000 That was amazing to look at.
03:04:42.000 No, he was on another level.
03:04:43.000 The whole band was on another level.
03:04:45.000 They were very psychedelic.
03:04:46.000 So Bruce Lee came in at the perfect time in Vietnam.
03:04:49.000 The Beatles were breaking up.
03:04:52.000 Muhammad Ali.
03:04:52.000 Muhammad Ali.
03:04:53.000 But also in 1973, this is a very interesting fact, at $15 ticket sales.
03:05:03.000 At $15, $12, $10 ticket sales, this country grossed $3 billion in concerts.
03:05:12.000 Really?
03:05:13.000 Go watch the 70s on CNN, the one about music in the 70s.
03:05:18.000 I can't say I'm surprised.
03:05:19.000 So much good music came out of that time.
03:05:21.000 That era, everybody was on tour.
03:05:23.000 They had a list of who was on tour.
03:05:25.000 Zeppelin, The Stones, La...
03:05:29.000 When I was in high school, we always went to concerts.
03:05:31.000 When I was in high school, we went to see Jay Giles Band.
03:05:35.000 We went to see The Who.
03:05:36.000 I saw Johnny Winter.
03:05:38.000 I saw Jethro Tull.
03:05:39.000 I saw George Therogood and the Destroyers.
03:05:42.000 He did a 50-50 tour in 1981. That dude.
03:05:46.000 He did 50 states in 50 days.
03:05:48.000 That was the big thing to do.
03:05:50.000 George Therogood and the Destroyers.
03:05:52.000 People forgot about Jay Giles Band.
03:05:54.000 Jay Giggles Band.
03:05:55.000 People forgot about Freeze Frame, Angel as a centerfold.
03:05:58.000 He was married to Faye Dunaway, that singer.
03:06:01.000 Whatever his fucking name.
03:06:02.000 Peter Wolf.
03:06:02.000 Peter Wolf was tremendous.
03:06:04.000 He's a bad motherfucker.
03:06:05.000 All right, Joey, I got to wrap this bitch up.
03:06:06.000 I got shit to do.
03:06:07.000 I love you, motherfucker.
03:06:08.000 Thank you for doing it.
03:06:09.000 So we're going to do this in June.
03:06:10.000 June.
03:06:11.000 Let's do it.
03:06:11.000 We're planning on it right now, folks.
03:06:13.000 We'll keep you guys updated, but I'm going to direct and put together Joey Diaz's comedy special.
03:06:17.000 We're going to let motherfuckers know.
03:06:20.000 Immigrant Mentality coming soon.
03:06:21.000 See you.
03:06:21.000 Bye.
03:06:21.000 Immigrant Mentality.
03:06:22.000 Bye, everybody.
03:06:22.000 Thank you.
03:06:23.000 Thank you.
03:06:24.000 Thank you, brother.
03:06:26.000 You talk to Shiner already?
03:06:27.000 Yeah.