The Joe Rogan Experience - February 13, 2018


Joe Rogan Experience #1078 - Jimmy Dore


Episode Stats

Length

2 hours and 50 minutes

Words per Minute

208.61528

Word Count

35,555

Sentence Count

3,400

Misogynist Sentences

170


Summary

Comedian Joe Scarborough joins us on the Fly On The Wall to talk about his new Netflix special, "Harvey Weinstein's Under the Wire" and much, much more. The Fly On the Wall is a production of Native Creative Podcasts and is produced by Jimmy Seibert and Sarah Abdurrahman. Hosts: and Featuring: , , and . Special thanks to our sponsor, for sponsoring the show, and to our patron, Joe Scarborough for coming on the show and being a part of it. Thanks also to everyone who sent in questions, and thank you to all the fans who sent them in! Thank you so much to Joe Scarborough and his team at Comedy Central and Comedy Central. We couldn't do this without you, and we couldn't have done it without you. Thank you, Joe. We love you, we really appreciate you. We hope you enjoy this episode, and can't wait to do it again next week. If you like what you hear, please leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, and tell us what you think of it! We're listening to this episode on Anchor.fm/flyontheflip and we'll get back to you next week with a new episode! Thanks, Jimmy and Sarah! XOXO. xoxo, Joe and Sarah - The Flyonthewonderful - Jimmy and the Flyontown Crew "The Flyover Crew" - Sarah and the crew at The Flyover Podcasts Thanks to Joe and the Crew at the Flyover. - Joe and his crew at Comedy Nights at the Aspen Festival Jimmy at the Comedy Club at the Wheeler Opera House in Aspen, Colorado, Colorado and The Comedy Center in Denver, Colorado And thanks to Joe at The Comedy Store at the New York Public House in Los Angeles, Colorado. Jimmy and his amazing wife, Jamie at the Flickz at The Aspen House in Boulder, Colorado at the White House at the Wrigley House at The Wheeler House at Wheeler House and The Improv House in San Francisco, New York City, Colorado on Saturday, NY, NY on Tuesday, October 31st, 2019. Thank You, Joe, for being a pleasure to have us out here! - Thank you for listening and supporting us, Jimmy, for coming out and coming out here and being here and coming back with us on this episode of Flyover!


Transcript

00:00:00.000 3...2...
00:00:04.000 Jamie with the quick count.
00:00:05.000 Jimmy, do her.
00:00:06.000 We're live.
00:00:07.000 Oh, fantastic.
00:00:08.000 Do you use headsets or no?
00:00:09.000 Oh, should I wear a headset?
00:00:10.000 I wear a headset, sure.
00:00:11.000 It's up to you.
00:00:11.000 I just feel lonely if I'm the only guy with headsets.
00:00:13.000 Oh, okay.
00:00:14.000 Is that better?
00:00:14.000 Oh, I got some.
00:00:15.000 I got the practice gear.
00:00:16.000 Hey, what time is it?
00:00:17.000 It's 1101, one minute after 11. 59 minutes from the top of 12 hours.
00:00:21.000 Did you ever do that?
00:00:22.000 Did you ever do a regular radio show?
00:00:24.000 In college, I had a radio show, but it wasn't real.
00:00:27.000 It just broadcast to no one, actually, it turned out.
00:00:30.000 To the campus?
00:00:31.000 Yeah.
00:00:31.000 Was it just to the campus?
00:00:32.000 It was supposed to be going out to the campus, and then we found out about three months in it wasn't going out to anybody.
00:00:37.000 I always had dreams of doing a radio show, but I always knew that I would fuck it up.
00:00:41.000 You know, I'm like, I'd get fired or something.
00:00:43.000 And I never thought anybody would hire me, you know.
00:00:45.000 I got in trouble at that station for playing the same song three times in a row.
00:00:51.000 Because it was so good?
00:00:52.000 Yeah, I liked it.
00:00:52.000 What was the song?
00:00:53.000 I don't even remember.
00:00:54.000 It was like some off-brand, I never heard of them, like the Rabini Brothers.
00:00:57.000 I was like, that's a fun song.
00:00:58.000 They fired you from a college station for that?
00:01:00.000 They didn't fire me.
00:01:00.000 They came in and they yelled at me.
00:01:01.000 And I was like, this isn't even going out to anyone!
00:01:06.000 And if it was a nice day, and I had to do my radio shift, I would just come in and simulcast with the FM, because I was on AM, and simulcast with the FM station, because I wanted to go out in the quad.
00:01:16.000 I want to sit in that studio.
00:01:17.000 It was a nice day.
00:01:18.000 I wonder if anybody has done this.
00:01:20.000 I mean, I don't think you could do it and put ads on it, but you could do it as just a fun project, have your own radio show on a podcast where you just play songs.
00:01:30.000 Could you do that, Jamie?
00:01:32.000 No, I think because if you give people a download of a song, that's illegal.
00:01:37.000 Oh, right, okay.
00:01:38.000 Yeah, that's why, yeah.
00:01:40.000 So you could stream it, though, maybe?
00:01:41.000 Like, stream it on YouTube?
00:01:43.000 Maybe.
00:01:43.000 Maybe, but not.
00:01:44.000 But you'd still have to pay some kind of royalties for those songs.
00:01:47.000 I don't know what.
00:01:49.000 Even if you weren't making any money off of it, you'd have to pay?
00:01:52.000 I think so.
00:01:52.000 If someone's streaming your jokes, they have to pay.
00:01:56.000 Yeah, but the thing is nobody wants to hear your jokes more than once.
00:01:59.000 That's the problem with jokes.
00:02:00.000 That's not true, Joe.
00:02:01.000 Really?
00:02:03.000 Alright, first of all, let me blow smoke up your ass a little bit.
00:02:06.000 I'm not actually, it's just sincere.
00:02:08.000 So I've seen you do comedy before.
00:02:10.000 I saw you, we did the 2004, I think it was the Aspen Festival.
00:02:13.000 We were on the opening night show at the Wheeler Opera House.
00:02:17.000 And then I saw you do sets at the Improv.
00:02:19.000 And I always thought you were funny, you know, but I never remembered any of your jokes.
00:02:24.000 And then I saw you at the Comedy Store a couple weeks ago, and I've been doing your act ever since.
00:02:30.000 laughter I've been telling your jokes everywhere I go to anybody who will listen, and everybody falls down laughing.
00:02:38.000 Those jokes that you have, first of all, the joke about Weinstein is just so goddamn funny.
00:02:43.000 And then the joke about the wrestling, goddammit!
00:02:46.000 And it's hard for me to not say them right in your face right now.
00:02:50.000 I know that would be not good if I did your jokes right to you.
00:02:54.000 But I can't not do...
00:02:56.000 Those are some of the funniest jokes I've heard in a long time.
00:02:58.000 And I know people are going to be saying, oh, he's such a kiss-ass.
00:03:01.000 I'm not kidding.
00:03:02.000 I love comedy, and I love jokes, and I can remember jokes that I like.
00:03:07.000 And...
00:03:10.000 That's so goddamn funny!
00:03:12.000 I'm in a rush to get that onto a Netflix special because I'm worried it's gonna get old.
00:03:16.000 Yeah, right.
00:03:16.000 Because right now, you know, it's like it happened a couple of months ago, it's still okay, and I'm recording in April, and I'm like, boy, April is like the wire.
00:03:24.000 That's like under the wire.
00:03:26.000 Yeah.
00:03:26.000 I think it'll be okay because there's not gonna be a bigger...
00:03:30.000 Raper or whatever, then Harvey Weinstein could come.
00:03:32.000 He's the pinnacle, right?
00:03:34.000 Right, like if you had a Cosby joke today, it's still okay.
00:03:37.000 Because he's such a raper.
00:03:38.000 That's right.
00:03:39.000 I forgot Cosby.
00:03:40.000 How did you forget?
00:03:41.000 Did you see the recent shit where Cosby was at a barbershop?
00:03:44.000 There's videos of him hanging out at the barbershop talking about jazz trivia with all the barbershop guys in Philly.
00:03:52.000 No.
00:03:53.000 Yeah, he actually performed recently at a jazz club.
00:03:57.000 Yeah, he showed up at this jazz club and performed and then announced that he was going to perform at another place.
00:04:02.000 He's like, he's back.
00:04:04.000 While he's in between trials.
00:04:06.000 Wow!
00:04:08.000 So, see, that's the weird thing.
00:04:09.000 I always wondered, like, he was still selling tickets.
00:04:13.000 Yeah.
00:04:13.000 Like, people will still show up to see him.
00:04:15.000 Well, before anyone knew for sure what was going on, there was a couple of accusations and everybody was like, what is this?
00:04:21.000 Like, what is this really?
00:04:23.000 Is this real?
00:04:24.000 Is this someone doing a shakedown?
00:04:25.000 And then they started, just the fucking tsunami of accusations started piling in, which is really incredible when you think about how many years that guy was doing that.
00:04:35.000 It's unbelievable how he could get away with that for so long.
00:04:40.000 It's terrifying.
00:04:41.000 And then something, and then now it's like you just go on a bad date and you get into trouble.
00:04:45.000 Like Aziz Ansari?
00:04:46.000 Yes.
00:04:47.000 That's horrible, right?
00:04:48.000 Well, the pendulum swings.
00:04:51.000 I think it's kind of open season on men right now.
00:04:55.000 And it'll swing back around and it'll be normal again.
00:04:57.000 And it makes sense.
00:04:59.000 There's so many of these accusations that happen.
00:05:02.000 You know, after a while, they pile up, and then there's this, like, anti-male resentment, and then it'll swing back, and it'll normalize, and people are sort of reacting to the Aziz thing, and they say, well, that went a little too far.
00:05:14.000 And then the woman who was in charge of, the California woman who was a big Me Too supporter, she got busted.
00:05:21.000 Did you see that?
00:05:21.000 Oh, no.
00:05:22.000 Yeah, she was grabbing some dude's dick and grabbing his ass, and she was drunk, and she's...
00:05:26.000 Is she just a congresswoman?
00:05:28.000 No kidding!
00:05:29.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:05:30.000 You ever have a girl do that to you?
00:05:32.000 Yeah, I've been grabbed.
00:05:34.000 You know, like, Bill Burr said this famously, and he's 100% correct.
00:05:38.000 It's after shows, drunk women in their 40s, they get a little liquored up, they get crazy, and they just go for it.
00:05:45.000 They get a little grabby.
00:05:46.000 They grab that ass, they'll go for it.
00:05:48.000 And, you know, did you feel violated?
00:05:52.000 No.
00:05:53.000 You know, anybody who says it's not different for men is just a liar.
00:05:57.000 It's not physically scary.
00:05:59.000 It's like if my daughter comes and punches me and kicks me, you know, like she'll do that for fun, just as a joke.
00:06:05.000 It's not threatening.
00:06:07.000 Right?
00:06:08.000 It's fun.
00:06:09.000 It's silly.
00:06:10.000 But if you did it, I'd be like, hey, man, don't fucking hit me.
00:06:13.000 Like, a man hits you.
00:06:14.000 It's different.
00:06:14.000 Like, if a man is trying to grab a woman's ass, you're talking about someone larger grabbing someone smaller.
00:06:20.000 It's scary.
00:06:21.000 It's dangerous.
00:06:22.000 The real threat of rape is actually there.
00:06:25.000 No 40-year-old lady's going to rape me.
00:06:27.000 You know?
00:06:28.000 It's not going to happen.
00:06:29.000 Unless I want her to.
00:06:30.000 It's just not going to go down that way.
00:06:33.000 I'd have to be really sick.
00:06:35.000 I would like to...
00:06:36.000 That'd be something really wrong with me.
00:06:39.000 Well, there was this guy, and see, this is how I like remembering jokes.
00:06:42.000 I haven't seen this guy probably tell jokes for 25 years.
00:06:44.000 His name is Paul Kelly, and it was right in the 80s, or at the end of the 80s, when women were in the workforce, and that was like one day at a time.
00:06:53.000 Remember that show?
00:06:53.000 It was all about women.
00:06:54.000 Right, sure.
00:06:54.000 And so things were weird in the workplace.
00:06:56.000 Men didn't know how to talk to women and how to act, and then they would go, oh, she's just like one of the guys.
00:07:01.000 Remember that?
00:07:02.000 They would say that.
00:07:02.000 Yeah.
00:07:03.000 Highest compliment you could give a woman.
00:07:04.000 She's like one of the guys.
00:07:06.000 We don't have to act weird around her.
00:07:08.000 And this guy, Paul Kelly, that's when people started to talk about sexual harassment.
00:07:11.000 And he said, see, men, we don't understand what that is.
00:07:14.000 It's like, wait a minute, you mean you're going to touch my dick while I type?
00:07:18.000 And I get insurance?
00:07:22.000 Well, we say that, but my friend TJ, do you know the amazing atheist?
00:07:28.000 Do you know who he is?
00:07:28.000 Oh, I do know who he is.
00:07:29.000 I've seen his show on YouTube.
00:07:31.000 Very funny guy.
00:07:32.000 He told me, and he's kind of an introvert, he told me that he was working in an office once and a woman who was his boss was sexually harassing him.
00:07:40.000 And it was completely unwanted and she would grab him and he would lock up and freeze and be uncomfortable.
00:07:46.000 And it was gross.
00:07:47.000 But he's a big guy.
00:07:49.000 I mean, he wasn't physically in danger.
00:07:51.000 I'm sure it felt super uncomfortable, but it's always going to be a notch, several notches, less scary.
00:07:57.000 Well, because she can't take out her dick and stick it in you.
00:07:59.000 There you go.
00:07:59.000 That's a big difference.
00:08:00.000 That's right.
00:08:01.000 The thing is the violation, right?
00:08:02.000 Yeah.
00:08:03.000 That's like the fact that someone could physically hold you against your will and just stick something in you.
00:08:09.000 And penetrate you.
00:08:11.000 Get into your body.
00:08:12.000 Yes, inside of you.
00:08:14.000 Yeah, like a woman literally can't do that.
00:08:16.000 She can engulf you.
00:08:18.000 That could be scary.
00:08:20.000 Someone engulfing you.
00:08:21.000 Oh, Jesus.
00:08:22.000 It just doesn't seem as scary, though.
00:08:24.000 It's just not the same violation.
00:08:26.000 What happened, officer?
00:08:27.000 Well, he said he was engulfed.
00:08:31.000 He engulfed my dick with his ass.
00:08:33.000 He just took it over.
00:08:35.000 Just tell your Weinstein joke.
00:08:37.000 Just tell it.
00:08:37.000 Nope.
00:08:38.000 Can't do it.
00:08:39.000 It'll be on...
00:08:39.000 I'm recording in April, so it's close.
00:08:42.000 We're only two months away.
00:08:43.000 Have you done that wrestling joke on a special?
00:08:45.000 No, all this stuff's new.
00:08:47.000 All this stuff is from my last special, which was last year, to now.
00:08:52.000 Well, you know, I have been...
00:08:54.000 What it was, what makes, I think, that set stick in my mind also is that it made me jealous, right?
00:08:59.000 Like, you know, when you...
00:09:00.000 I don't know if you get jealous.
00:09:01.000 I still get jealous when I see someone doing something better than me.
00:09:03.000 I want to do it.
00:09:05.000 And I'm like, God damn it!
00:09:07.000 It made me want to get out and...
00:09:09.000 I haven't been doing comedy as much, and you know, it's like a muscle.
00:09:12.000 I think Jerry Seinfeld said, if I don't do comedy...
00:09:15.000 For about four days, I notice a difference.
00:09:18.000 And if I don't do comedy for five days, they can notice.
00:09:21.000 So I haven't been...
00:09:22.000 Since I started my YouTube show, I haven't been doing stand-up as much as I should, and I stopped touring like I should, and I miss it.
00:09:31.000 I want to do another special.
00:09:32.000 And watching...
00:09:33.000 And that night of comedy at the Comedy Store made me go, God damn it.
00:09:38.000 I gotta get out here and stuff.
00:09:39.000 What the fuck am I doing?
00:09:40.000 That's the highest compliment.
00:09:41.000 You can pay a comic.
00:09:43.000 God damn it!
00:09:44.000 I felt that many times.
00:09:45.000 You know, that feeling of just being inspired.
00:09:48.000 I just want to go home and write.
00:09:49.000 Yeah, and I was, you know, I mean, my set went fine, but it wasn't, uh, I'm not on my game right now.
00:09:54.000 You know, I have to really start working it again, which I have started, and I'm going out, and it's, uh, it's my, I forgot, it's like, this is all I ever wanted to do in my life was stand-up comedy.
00:10:04.000 Right.
00:10:04.000 And, like, being a stand-up comic to me was like being Ray Liotta in Goodfellas.
00:10:08.000 Like, you know, I didn't wait in line.
00:10:10.000 I fucking wanted something.
00:10:11.000 I took it.
00:10:12.000 I stopped.
00:10:12.000 You know, I don't fucking follow rules or listen to your bullshit.
00:10:16.000 I fucking do what I want, I say what I want, and they pay me for it.
00:10:19.000 I just fucking love that shit.
00:10:22.000 And then I started doing the YouTube show, and it becomes a job, right, for me?
00:10:30.000 And it's a grind, in a sense.
00:10:32.000 And doing comedy, I so miss sleeping till noon, and then getting up, working out, having...
00:10:37.000 All you had to do was figure out, who am I going to have lunch with today?
00:10:39.000 That was my big decision.
00:10:40.000 Right.
00:10:41.000 Who am I going to have lunch with?
00:10:42.000 Then I go home after the lunch.
00:10:43.000 I have a nap.
00:10:44.000 Then I go out and do a show.
00:10:45.000 It was the greatest life in the world.
00:10:47.000 Why did I fucking have that?
00:10:49.000 But you must enjoy doing your YouTube show, too, right?
00:10:52.000 I do, because it helps me to discover who I am more.
00:10:57.000 Because as a stand-up, I was like Bill Hicks was my favorite guy.
00:11:01.000 When I saw Bill Hicks in Chicago, I almost quit.
00:11:05.000 Because I was in comedy about three or four years, and I was like, I fucking know what I'm doing.
00:11:10.000 And before I got on stage, I'd be like, wait till they get a load of me.
00:11:13.000 I was like, that guy?
00:11:14.000 Oh, I'm the fucking baddest ass in Chicago.
00:11:16.000 And then everybody talked about this guy, Bill Hicks, right?
00:11:19.000 And I was like, I'm going to check this guy out.
00:11:21.000 So I sat down, and he starts his set, and about two minutes in, I started drinking.
00:11:28.000 And then about five minutes in, I started drinking more.
00:11:31.000 And about ten minutes in, I was convinced I was going to quit comedy.
00:11:35.000 Wow.
00:11:37.000 You know, I always thought, like, George Carlin was my hero.
00:11:40.000 And I was like, you know, if I do everything right, I could maybe be like George Carlin for one special.
00:11:46.000 Like, maybe if I get everything right and I really work it.
00:11:49.000 And I saw Bill Hicks and I knew I was always going to be competing for second place.
00:11:54.000 And so when he died, it made me feel a lot better.
00:11:57.000 I was like, oh, fuck, I'm back.
00:11:58.000 Yeah.
00:12:00.000 Oh, that's the worst.
00:12:01.000 Now, it was the saddest thing when he died, of course.
00:12:03.000 He was my hero, and, you know, I didn't really know him.
00:12:07.000 I knew him tangentially, and it was weird to feel that kind of sadness for someone who you don't know personally.
00:12:12.000 And so that was a big deal to me, watching Bill Hicks.
00:12:16.000 It totally changed my life, and I tried to be like him, of course, like an idiot.
00:12:19.000 I tried to be like him, and you can't, right?
00:12:22.000 And then one time I was dating this girl, and it might be my wife, I don't know who told me this, but she said, Like, where you come from?
00:12:33.000 Because I come from the south side of Chicago, grew up poor, 12 kids, drinking powdered milk, you know, and having the shit beat out of me from the fucking morning till night, right?
00:12:41.000 Because I went to Catholic school, a tough neighborhood.
00:12:44.000 And she's like, you can't be angry like Bill Hicks, because you look like you come from privilege, money, and you're dressed well.
00:12:51.000 I always like to dress nice, because I grew up poor.
00:12:53.000 I always wanted to be...
00:12:54.000 And so that's when I had to pull back on the anger on stage, and I was like, if you watch my specials on Comedy Central, I'm very nice.
00:13:03.000 And doing the YouTube show is what let me connect with my anger, which is always what drives me.
00:13:10.000 That's interesting.
00:13:11.000 And that is what has connected with people, and that's when I really started selling tickets and everything I wanted to get from comedy, in a sense, I got from this YouTube show.
00:13:23.000 So now I can go wherever I want and do a show, and just my fans will show up.
00:13:28.000 It's the greatest thing that ever happened in my life.
00:13:30.000 Well, you're very good on your YouTube show, and you're also very fair.
00:13:33.000 You know, one of the things that I really like about your show is you're obviously a left-leaning guy, but you're very balanced in your criticism of the left, in your criticism of criticism of the left.
00:13:44.000 Well, if you have to lie to make your point, you don't have a good point.
00:13:47.000 I agree with you a thousand percent.
00:13:49.000 It's such an important thing that's being missed today.
00:13:51.000 Yeah, and I don't know.
00:13:53.000 I've gone back and forth on issues.
00:13:55.000 Everybody, I think you can be allowed to go back and forth on issues.
00:13:58.000 You know, I was against gun control.
00:14:02.000 I was for gun control.
00:14:03.000 Then I was against it again.
00:14:04.000 I mean, you know, so...
00:14:08.000 The thing that people give me a lot of hard...
00:14:10.000 I get more of a hard time from people who consider themselves on the left than people who consider themselves on the right.
00:14:16.000 Today, right?
00:14:17.000 Today.
00:14:17.000 This is a new thing, though, isn't it?
00:14:19.000 Over the last decade?
00:14:20.000 Right.
00:14:21.000 It's because...
00:14:21.000 Maybe less than a decade.
00:14:22.000 Well, to me, it really started with Bill Clinton in 92, but it didn't get really ramped up until Barack Obama in, like, 2010, when it was clear...
00:14:33.000 That Barack Obama was a neoliberal corporatist who was going to do the bidding of the war machine and Wall Street and Big Pharma, which is why when the Democrats got control of government, they had the presidency, the Senate, filibuster-proof Senate for a few months,
00:14:49.000 and they had the Congress and the House, and they didn't pass single-payer or even a public option.
00:14:54.000 What do we get?
00:14:54.000 We got a right-wing health care plan anyway, which is a giveaway to the pharma and health insurance companies that left out 28 million fucking people.
00:15:02.000 And infuriated small business owners, infuriated people that had a small practice, that there were doctors and all sorts of people that were...
00:15:12.000 It was better than what we had.
00:15:13.000 It was a bad solution.
00:15:15.000 It wasn't a solution.
00:15:16.000 What it was was a solution for the...
00:15:19.000 The pharmaceutical companies and the health insurance companies...
00:15:21.000 How is it better than what we had?
00:15:22.000 In what way?
00:15:23.000 Well, because before there was pre-existing conditions and you couldn't get coverage, so now you could always get coverage.
00:15:28.000 So that part was better.
00:15:30.000 The fact that you can get covered even if you had an issue.
00:15:33.000 Right, right.
00:15:34.000 So then you could go on an exchange and stuff like that.
00:15:36.000 I never had to do that.
00:15:37.000 I always got through my wife's employer.
00:15:40.000 I always had my health insurance, right?
00:15:42.000 And by the way, having health insurance is...
00:15:45.000 It doesn't really mean that much.
00:15:46.000 I got really sick.
00:15:47.000 Well, you were talking about this before the podcast.
00:15:49.000 Well, this is a different thing, but I had an illness that they couldn't diagnose for a few years.
00:15:54.000 And it almost killed me, right?
00:15:56.000 What was it?
00:15:57.000 It was called hypophosphatemic osteomalacia.
00:16:00.000 Whoa!
00:16:00.000 That should be on late night TV. Like one of those commercials?
00:16:03.000 Do you have osteopharmatriculitis?
00:16:06.000 Side effects include death.
00:16:10.000 What is it?
00:16:12.000 It's a bone disease, so my bones were emitting...
00:16:16.000 The bottom line is my bones were having bone disintegration.
00:16:22.000 Yeah, I used to be much taller.
00:16:25.000 I know that sounds funny, right?
00:16:26.000 It's actually true.
00:16:27.000 Is that true?
00:16:27.000 When we met, I was taller than you.
00:16:29.000 Get the fuck out of here.
00:16:29.000 How tall were you?
00:16:31.000 I was around 5'10".
00:16:32.000 And you shrank to 5'8"?
00:16:33.000 I'm a little under 5'8".
00:16:36.000 Wow, that's crazy.
00:16:38.000 Yeah.
00:16:39.000 So, I know, right?
00:16:41.000 And when that happened, I was going to kill myself.
00:16:44.000 Did you try to stretch yourself out?
00:16:48.000 Yes.
00:16:49.000 Get one of those things they use, medieval torture devices.
00:16:51.000 Ah, the rack.
00:16:53.000 So I'm one of those guys who, if I want something, no matter what price I have to pay, physical, whatever, I'll pay it, and I'll get that thing I want, right?
00:17:02.000 Like, I'll get it.
00:17:03.000 But can you mind elaborating on this thing?
00:17:05.000 Yeah, so I couldn't fix it by stretching.
00:17:09.000 I couldn't fix it.
00:17:09.000 I was just joking about that, but...
00:17:11.000 So what does it do to your...
00:17:12.000 It's making your bones shrink?
00:17:14.000 Yeah, so it gives you osteoporosis, and then my bones got hollow like an old lady.
00:17:19.000 Whoa.
00:17:20.000 And then my spine collapsed when I stepped off a curb and too hard.
00:17:25.000 And they didn't know what it was.
00:17:26.000 I don't like talking about it too much, but they told me all different kinds of things.
00:17:30.000 Oh, it's your muscles.
00:17:31.000 It's your nerves.
00:17:32.000 It's in your head.
00:17:33.000 It's in this.
00:17:34.000 And I was limping for a few years, and people were always like, how are you doing?
00:17:38.000 I'm like, I'll be all right.
00:17:40.000 And, you know, because no one likes to hear about anybody else's.
00:17:42.000 And then when that happened, they were like, oh, no, it's your bones.
00:17:46.000 I was like, you motherfuckers.
00:17:48.000 So everybody told me that you should go.
00:17:49.000 So I started going to bone doctors, and everybody told me I should go see this guy, Dr. Charles Sharp.
00:17:54.000 And I called him, and he was expensive, and he didn't take insurance.
00:17:57.000 And so I was like, well, I'll go to someone he trained.
00:18:00.000 So I'll go to someone he trained.
00:18:01.000 I wouldn't get any better after six months.
00:18:03.000 I go to someone else he trained.
00:18:04.000 He wouldn't get any better.
00:18:05.000 So finally I was just about to die.
00:18:08.000 And I went to see him.
00:18:10.000 I was going to pay the money and go see him.
00:18:13.000 And he figured out what it was like that.
00:18:17.000 Really?
00:18:17.000 And he says to me, he goes, you know, no one in the...
00:18:20.000 Nowhere you go, no one's going to know what this is.
00:18:22.000 I go, yeah, I know.
00:18:23.000 I've already been everywhere.
00:18:24.000 And he said, I only saw this once before in 1968. And he says, and you have it.
00:18:30.000 Holy shit.
00:18:31.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:18:32.000 What causes it?
00:18:33.000 It was just my own...
00:18:35.000 They didn't know at the time.
00:18:36.000 He thought it was a tumor, but they since figured out it was just my own bones leaching of hormone that makes your body leach the chemicals that I need to make bone.
00:18:46.000 So anyway, this is boring.
00:18:48.000 No, it's not boring at all.
00:18:49.000 So he fixed me, and I started...
00:18:51.000 How did he fix you?
00:18:52.000 He just diagnosed me what was wrong and what I needed, and so I need to take supplements, right, for my bones to make bones.
00:18:59.000 Like some people take calcium, so I take this thing called phosphorus, because you need phosphorus and calcium and vitamin D to make bone.
00:19:05.000 Right.
00:19:06.000 So we did that, and it was amazing.
00:19:10.000 You know, he's just an amazing doctor, and he's very right-wing, as far as I can tell, right?
00:19:15.000 He doesn't like to talk politics, but it comes up.
00:19:20.000 And he was in the military and all this stuff, and he's just a great guy.
00:19:24.000 I just love him.
00:19:25.000 He's so smart.
00:19:26.000 He's so smart.
00:19:28.000 And he fixed me.
00:19:29.000 So getting back to when I was going to kill myself.
00:19:32.000 So when I stepped off the curb and I shrunk, And I was shrunk even more.
00:19:37.000 They did an operation that gave me about an inch back.
00:19:39.000 I was even shorter, right?
00:19:41.000 So I'm like, holy fuck.
00:19:43.000 I'm like, this is hor- this is like I wanted to kill my- I was literally gonna kill myself.
00:19:46.000 What was the operation they did?
00:19:48.000 They had to put something in your spine?
00:19:49.000 Kyphoplasty, mm-hmm.
00:19:50.000 Like a bar or something like that?
00:19:52.000 They cement.
00:19:53.000 They puff it up and then they stick cement in it.
00:19:55.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.
00:19:56.000 Anyway, but I- so I was serious.
00:19:59.000 I was like, I cried one day.
00:20:01.000 I couldn't stop.
00:20:02.000 I didn't know how to stop.
00:20:03.000 And my eyes puffed up like I couldn't see almost.
00:20:07.000 And I was gonna do it.
00:20:08.000 I was like, I'll just kill myself.
00:20:09.000 And And the only thing that kept me from not killing myself was my manager called me and he said, hey, you got that hour special on Comedy Central.
00:20:21.000 And I was like, what?
00:20:23.000 I was like, what?
00:20:24.000 Talk about it was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
00:20:27.000 I could not believe.
00:20:29.000 I'm like, what?
00:20:30.000 And then I just knew I had to do this special because I couldn't let all those motherfuckers who said I shouldn't move to L.A. and be a comedian.
00:20:36.000 I couldn't let them win.
00:20:37.000 It was about that.
00:20:38.000 It was about, I'm going to show everybody who doubted me and said I was crazy, I'm going to show them, I'm going to do this goddamn special, it's going to be fucking awesome, and then I kill myself.
00:20:50.000 Jesus Christ, Jimmy.
00:20:52.000 And by the time, so I had to get this, anyway, long stories, I had to get this operation in my leg, it was the Bo Jackson surgery.
00:21:01.000 You got a hip replacement?
00:21:02.000 The thigh bone was dying.
00:21:05.000 And I went to, so my doctor sends me to this other doctor who vented the operation at USC, and I walk into the office, just like my doctor predicted, he's looking at my chart and he looks up and he goes, what?
00:21:19.000 I've only seen this in books, meaning what I have.
00:21:23.000 Wow.
00:21:24.000 And I was like, that's what Dr. Sharp said.
00:21:26.000 And so he was going to give me this operation.
00:21:28.000 He goes, we're going to take this bone out from your shin.
00:21:30.000 We're going to put it in there.
00:21:32.000 And then you can't step on that foot for six months straight.
00:21:36.000 And I said, I have an hour special.
00:21:38.000 I'm taping in eight months.
00:21:40.000 I go, so I can't do this operation.
00:21:42.000 He goes, well, your thigh could just snap at any moment.
00:21:45.000 I go, I guess that's the chance I gotta take.
00:21:48.000 Holy shit.
00:21:48.000 Because if I can't do this special, I'm gonna kill myself anyway.
00:21:51.000 I give a fuck, right?
00:21:52.000 Wow.
00:21:53.000 So, by the time we got to do the special eight months later, Dr. Sharp's treatment had kicked in, and they didn't know it was gonna fix it, but it fixed it.
00:22:02.000 They were like, it fixed it.
00:22:03.000 Holy shit.
00:22:04.000 You could have got that crazy operation for nothing?
00:22:06.000 Yeah, for nothing.
00:22:07.000 Fuck, man.
00:22:08.000 So his treatment is just supplements?
00:22:11.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:22:12.000 And do you take that to this day?
00:22:14.000 Every day.
00:22:14.000 Every time I eat, I have to take two phosphorus.
00:22:17.000 Did you alter your diet?
00:22:19.000 No, he tells me to make sure I eat meat because I need whatever it's in it I need.
00:22:23.000 The stuff?
00:22:24.000 Yeah.
00:22:25.000 Whatever the good stuff is.
00:22:27.000 He'll look at me like, he goes, you're from Chicago, right?
00:22:30.000 And I go, yeah, eat meat.
00:22:31.000 Like that.
00:22:32.000 Like, you're not one of those fucking plant-eating assholes.
00:22:35.000 Like, you're not one of those, are you?
00:22:36.000 Right.
00:22:37.000 And it's sad that I'm turning into one of those now.
00:22:40.000 God.
00:22:40.000 Damn it!
00:22:41.000 What, a plant-eating asshole?
00:22:43.000 Well, I saw this fucking video about cows.
00:22:46.000 I've seen those too.
00:22:48.000 No, no, not those.
00:22:49.000 So in, I don't know, Norway or Denmark, I don't know where, somewhere over there, they have a law that you have to let the cows out of the barn in the spring by this one day.
00:23:00.000 Oh, you're talking about the one when the cow jumps out and starts bouncing around?
00:23:03.000 Like a dog.
00:23:04.000 Yeah, yeah, I've seen that.
00:23:05.000 And so they all come out and they start jumping around like dogs!
00:23:07.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:23:08.000 And I was like, oh my god!
00:23:10.000 I couldn't eat my dog!
00:23:12.000 Right.
00:23:12.000 You know?
00:23:12.000 And that was the first, like, oh, Jesus.
00:23:16.000 And then I accidentally saw this video about a pig, and I can't eat pigs anymore.
00:23:21.000 I can't eat porks.
00:23:22.000 I can't.
00:23:23.000 And I'm that close to not eating meat, but I eat a lot of pasta.
00:23:28.000 You know, I like to cook.
00:23:29.000 But your doctor said, but pasta's terrible for you.
00:23:32.000 Yeah, I know, right?
00:23:33.000 I eat whole wheat pasta.
00:23:34.000 Oh, that's not any better for you.
00:23:36.000 That's not better?
00:23:36.000 No.
00:23:37.000 No, it's terrible for you.
00:23:38.000 Whole wheat pasta has the same amount of gluten in it.
00:23:40.000 It's the same amount of sugars in it.
00:23:42.000 It's maybe slightly better than refined pasta.
00:23:46.000 Like, wheat bread is slightly better than white bread, but it's all bullshit.
00:23:49.000 It's all just filler.
00:23:51.000 There's not very few nutrients.
00:23:53.000 But seven grain bread is better.
00:23:54.000 It's all horseshit, man.
00:23:56.000 Bread is horseshit.
00:23:57.000 It's not good for you.
00:23:58.000 Don't do this to me.
00:23:59.000 It just is.
00:24:00.000 Wheat is just not a good food.
00:24:01.000 It's a good filler.
00:24:03.000 I mean, if you're starving, it'll keep you alive.
00:24:05.000 I mean, that's literally what they invented it for.
00:24:08.000 They ground up wheat and figured out a way to cook it.
00:24:11.000 And the wheat that we're eating today is not heirloom wheat.
00:24:14.000 It's all wheat that's been adjusted and genetically modified so that it has higher yield in smaller areas.
00:24:21.000 There's a documentary called What's With Wheat.
00:24:23.000 It's really fascinating.
00:24:24.000 Really?
00:24:24.000 Yeah, and they go over the details of what happened with wheat, but it's somewhere in the early 19th century, or 20th century, rather.
00:24:31.000 In the early 1900s, they started altering wheat.
00:24:34.000 And they did it so that they can get higher yield in a smaller area.
00:24:38.000 But by doing that, you increase the amount of complex glutens in the wheat.
00:24:42.000 It makes it much more difficult for people to digest.
00:24:45.000 And that's where you see the elevation of all these gluten sensitivity issues.
00:24:48.000 And people are like, when I was a kid, there was no gluten sensitivity.
00:24:51.000 First of all, nobody knew what the fuck happened.
00:24:53.000 You got fat, you had a heart attack, and you died.
00:24:54.000 They really didn't know.
00:24:56.000 They were much less aware of why people were fat.
00:24:59.000 But sugars, wheat, Those are two of the biggest problems we have.
00:25:04.000 No kidding!
00:25:04.000 Yeah, it's terrible for you.
00:25:06.000 So when I went to this Chinese medicine doctor, it was back when I was feeling sick, and so I went to, somebody recommended, you should go to this Chinese medicine.
00:25:16.000 I'm like, I'll try whatever.
00:25:18.000 So what he did was he changed my diet.
00:25:20.000 So he got me off of white sugar, dairy.
00:25:23.000 Even brown sugar is terrible for you.
00:25:25.000 Sure.
00:25:26.000 And carbs, basically.
00:25:29.000 And he told me not to drink soda.
00:25:32.000 And I said, well, I drink diet.
00:25:33.000 He goes, that's worse.
00:25:34.000 Because of the chemicals in it.
00:25:36.000 And so I was like, holy shit.
00:25:39.000 I was like, okay.
00:25:40.000 So then he sells you these herbs for $800, and they're a month's supply.
00:25:44.000 So I realized that's all I ate.
00:25:46.000 When I got out of his office, every time I eat, I'm eating white flour, I'm eating bread, or a pizza, or a pasta, or a cheese, or everything.
00:25:53.000 Everything he told me not to eat, that's all I ate.
00:25:55.000 So I was like, I remember my girlfriend said, how long are you going to do this?
00:25:58.000 I go, at least for a month, because that's how much these herbs are in the $800.
00:26:02.000 I don't want to...
00:26:04.000 So by day three, I was leaping out of bed.
00:26:07.000 I could not get over how much energy I had.
00:26:09.000 Yeah, it's because you don't have that big insulin crash.
00:26:12.000 When you're eating all that sugar and all that bread, your body's just fighting that shit off all the time, trying to process it, and then there's this big crash.
00:26:20.000 Boom!
00:26:20.000 Yeah.
00:26:21.000 And then you have to take a nap.
00:26:22.000 What do you eat?
00:26:23.000 I eat mostly meat and avocados and healthy fats and vegetables.
00:26:29.000 But I hunt, so everything I eat is wild.
00:26:32.000 So when I'm eating meat, I'm eating elk or deer or something along those lines.
00:26:36.000 You don't feel bad when you see the deer you just shot?
00:26:39.000 I do feel a sense of loss, but I do also know that this is a wild animal that had no idea what was going on until an arrow hit it.
00:26:46.000 It's not like something that's living in some pen and being tortured and genetically modified and filled with antibiotics and hormones.
00:26:54.000 It's a wild animal.
00:26:55.000 And their life expectancy is very short.
00:26:57.000 They get taken out by bears and wolves and coyotes and pumas.
00:27:02.000 They're not making it.
00:27:04.000 None of them are making it.
00:27:05.000 Zero.
00:27:06.000 Zero percent.
00:27:06.000 They're starving to death.
00:27:07.000 They're freezing to death.
00:27:09.000 What you're doing is just dipping your foot in the wild world.
00:27:14.000 You are taking part in the cycle of life.
00:27:17.000 So you're against factory farming and stuff?
00:27:19.000 100%.
00:27:19.000 That's why I became a hunter.
00:27:20.000 I was either going to become a vegetarian or I was going to hunt.
00:27:23.000 Those were my two options.
00:27:24.000 I had to figure out what I was going to do.
00:27:26.000 And I experimented with vegetarian back when I was fighting to try to make a weight class.
00:27:31.000 I didn't like it.
00:27:32.000 I just didn't feel good.
00:27:33.000 And then when I started eating meat, I did it for like six months.
00:27:36.000 And then when I started eating meat, I got way better.
00:27:39.000 Like instantly.
00:27:40.000 Like instantly started gaining muscle.
00:27:42.000 Instantly was fighting better.
00:27:43.000 Instantly competed better.
00:27:45.000 And I moved up a weight class.
00:27:46.000 And that's when I became my very best.
00:27:49.000 What's your weight class?
00:27:50.000 What did you fight at?
00:27:51.000 154 is what I moved up to.
00:27:53.000 I was trying to stay at 140. I fought at 140 only for a year when I was 18. I just couldn't do it.
00:27:59.000 Now, did you bring your power with you, Joe, when you went up to 154?
00:28:02.000 Yes, I did.
00:28:03.000 Well, you know, I was 18. I was still growing.
00:28:05.000 Oh, okay.
00:28:06.000 I was still thickening up.
00:28:07.000 Oh, that's young.
00:28:07.000 Yeah.
00:28:07.000 Okay.
00:28:08.000 So I was artificially keeping my body very, very thin.
00:28:11.000 I was very lean.
00:28:12.000 But my point is that I knew that there...
00:28:15.000 When I watched too many of those videos, factory farming videos...
00:28:18.000 Factory farming should be...
00:28:20.000 I mean, fuck insider trading and all the other problems that we have in the world.
00:28:25.000 That's all terrible stuff, right?
00:28:26.000 Terrible stuff.
00:28:27.000 Factory farming is a goddamn crime.
00:28:30.000 It's a horrible crime against life.
00:28:32.000 And the fact that we just do it and that we have ag-gag laws...
00:28:36.000 Yes, that's what's...
00:28:39.000 They're insane.
00:28:40.000 Those laws are fucking criminal.
00:28:42.000 They're insane.
00:28:43.000 It's not America.
00:28:43.000 It's not the America I thought of.
00:28:45.000 I thought we were supposed to have a free press.
00:28:47.000 That's the equalizer.
00:28:48.000 That's what's different about us.
00:28:49.000 And now they gag the press.
00:28:50.000 You can't talk about crime.
00:28:51.000 They could sue you.
00:28:53.000 They could put you in jail if you film the tortured animals.
00:28:57.000 If you film a crime.
00:28:58.000 Right, exactly.
00:29:01.000 So there's some famous saying, when exposing a crime is a crime you're ruled by criminals.
00:29:06.000 I don't know if that's the quote, but...
00:29:08.000 By the way, we're living in a lawless time, right?
00:29:14.000 So the law only applies to the poor.
00:29:17.000 It does not apply to war criminals.
00:29:19.000 It doesn't apply to Wall Street.
00:29:21.000 It doesn't apply to anybody.
00:29:23.000 Giant corporations have figured out a way to skirt the law with money.
00:29:27.000 If you steal from rich people, they will get upset, like Bernie Madoff.
00:29:30.000 He stole from rich people.
00:29:32.000 That was wrong.
00:29:32.000 He fucked up.
00:29:33.000 But if you're Jamie Dimon or if you're Goldman Sachs and you steal from poor people or veterans or old ladies, that's fine.
00:29:40.000 That's fine.
00:29:41.000 Then you become Secretary of the Treasury, like Steve Mnuchin.
00:29:43.000 Mnuchin is one of my favorite evil characters of the 21st century.
00:29:47.000 When you see him...
00:29:48.000 With his wife, and his wife has gloves on, and they're holding the money, and she's smiling, and when she fucking tags, like, Gucci and Cartier and all these different, like, big-time companies in her Instagram posts, when she's stepping off of a fucking private jet,
00:30:03.000 like, holy shit!
00:30:05.000 Look at that picture!
00:30:06.000 I love that picture!
00:30:07.000 First of all, the fact that she would fuck him, that's a crime.
00:30:10.000 That woman is a thief.
00:30:12.000 That's the power of money.
00:30:13.000 Yeah.
00:30:14.000 I mean, but it's also prostitution.
00:30:16.000 That's a crime.
00:30:17.000 You don't think she's hot for him?
00:30:19.000 No.
00:30:19.000 I do not.
00:30:21.000 I'm going to be honest with you.
00:30:23.000 You know?
00:30:23.000 I think if you were there, I'd say, okay.
00:30:25.000 He's got a funny personality.
00:30:27.000 He's a good guy.
00:30:28.000 She probably enjoys it.
00:30:30.000 You know, it doesn't make any sense.
00:30:32.000 But let me just say this.
00:30:34.000 Steve Mnuchin is horrible.
00:30:36.000 And he should probably be in jail.
00:30:37.000 But guess what?
00:30:38.000 He's not in jail.
00:30:39.000 Because why?
00:30:39.000 Because the Democrat didn't prosecute him when she was supposed to.
00:30:42.000 That's Kamala Harris.
00:30:43.000 So she's corrupted by Wall Street, too.
00:30:45.000 So you point your finger at him.
00:30:47.000 You're like, well, the reason why he's there is because the Democratic Party is corrupted.
00:30:50.000 That's why he's there.
00:30:51.000 What did he do that he should have got put?
00:30:53.000 Well, Kamala Harris is...
00:30:56.000 So he ran One West Bank, and they investigated his bank, and they found a thousand instances of criminality.
00:31:03.000 It's only a thousand, though.
00:31:04.000 That's what I said.
00:31:05.000 It's a thousand.
00:31:09.000 Anything less than a million instances.
00:31:11.000 Like, what the fuck?
00:31:11.000 It's water under the bridge.
00:31:13.000 You can't be picky.
00:31:13.000 A little this, a little that.
00:31:14.000 Yeah, you gotta break a few eggs.
00:31:15.000 Come on!
00:31:16.000 Make omelets!
00:31:17.000 So they said, and if we investigated, we would find a thousand more instances of criminality.
00:31:21.000 She said, don't.
00:31:22.000 And that was that, and she never had an answer for it.
00:31:25.000 And now she's the darling of the corporate class.
00:31:29.000 The same people who anointed Barack Obama and Bill Clinton are the same people who are anointing her.
00:31:35.000 So that's the problem.
00:31:37.000 Barack Obama's entire cabinet came from an email from Citigroup.
00:31:42.000 So people trying to say that somehow corruption started on January 2017 are fooling themselves.
00:31:50.000 And that's what I'm fighting against.
00:31:51.000 Yes.
00:31:52.000 You are, and you're one of the only people that are doing that.
00:31:54.000 You're one of the only people that are online that you're not obligated to shill for the left.
00:32:03.000 You're not doing it.
00:32:05.000 But everybody else seems to be.
00:32:06.000 I don't mean everybody else, if you're one of the people that are not.
00:32:09.000 Thank you, Joe Rogan.
00:32:10.000 There's just a handful of people who are not, Joe.
00:32:12.000 There's so few.
00:32:13.000 There's so few that are calling out people in the Democratic Party for what really is going on.
00:32:18.000 Like, I was infuriated when people that I knew that I was friends with were trying to tell me that Hillary Clinton was a good choice.
00:32:26.000 That's the same choice.
00:32:28.000 I'm like, look, I don't know if she's murdered people, but I know that I worry that she's murdered people.
00:32:33.000 That's a real...
00:32:34.000 I really wonder.
00:32:35.000 Like, this Seth Rich shit?
00:32:37.000 I know.
00:32:38.000 First of all, you don't even need to go there.
00:32:42.000 You don't.
00:32:42.000 There's so many other things.
00:32:43.000 There's so many other things that we'd know for a fact.
00:32:45.000 The Clinton Foundation, for instance.
00:32:47.000 So, the Iraq War.
00:32:49.000 I'm old enough, Joe, to remember when being for the Iraq War was a disqualifier in a Democratic primary.
00:32:54.000 I That's where I'm from.
00:32:56.000 That's why she lost to Barack Obama the first goddamn time she ran.
00:32:59.000 And all of a sudden, we're supposed to...
00:33:00.000 Now people, like Joy Behar says, that was a long time ago.
00:33:03.000 Forget about it.
00:33:03.000 Why don't you go tell that to a mother who's got a dead soldier?
00:33:07.000 Why don't you go tell them that they just died in an illegal war?
00:33:10.000 Why don't you go tell that to a couple hundred thousand Iraqis who are dead?
00:33:13.000 Get over it.
00:33:14.000 It was a long time ago.
00:33:14.000 You fuck...
00:33:15.000 Anyway, so I remember when that, also, the Bill Clinton was no friend to the working men.
00:33:22.000 In fact, he was this demise, starting of the demise of this country.
00:33:26.000 So, you know, Ronald Reagan scared the shit out of the Democrats so much that he decided to become like them.
00:33:31.000 And so what Bill Clinton did was he got in bed with Wall Street, the military industrial complex, big pharma, health insurance, and the Koch brothers.
00:33:39.000 He started a thing called the Democratic Leadership Council with Al Gore.
00:33:42.000 They had executives from the Koch brothers on the Democratic Leadership Council.
00:33:45.000 They completely turned their back on the working man.
00:33:48.000 And what happens when you have two parties that are in bed with management?
00:33:51.000 You get Donald Trump.
00:33:52.000 And that's exactly what happened.
00:33:54.000 They gutted welfare at the same time they explored the prison population, called black kids super predators, at the same time they did NAFTA. And then they deregulated Wall Street, which crashed the economy within 10 years.
00:34:05.000 That's what Democrats did.
00:34:06.000 Democrats did shit that Ronald Reagan could only fucking dream about in his wet dreams.
00:34:11.000 They couldn't pass NAFTA. George Bush couldn't pass NAFTA. It took Bill Clinton to do it.
00:34:15.000 Bill Clinton gave the cover to the other corporate Democrats to go along with it.
00:34:19.000 So that was the beginning of the end for the working class in America.
00:34:23.000 In fact, now, you know, I wouldn't vote for Hillary Clinton, and that's why a lot of people on the left came after me, and they still do.
00:34:29.000 Well, it was confusing to me that you were saying, hey, if you want to vote for a real progressive, what about Jill Stein?
00:34:34.000 Yeah, if you vote for a party...
00:34:36.000 Here's a program you actually agree with, the Green New Deal.
00:34:39.000 Right.
00:34:39.000 But everybody's like, no, you're throwing away your vote.
00:34:42.000 How are you throwing away your vote?
00:34:45.000 So we all know for a fact...
00:34:46.000 Because of the WikiLeaks emails that Hillary Clinton had a thing called the Pied Piper strategy, which was, she told her minions in the press, please prop up Donald Trump.
00:34:56.000 Prop him up.
00:34:57.000 Why did she want Donald Trump to be propped up?
00:34:59.000 Because she wanted to run against Donald Trump, because she knew that she was so repulsive to most of the country, she needed someone who was more repulsive than her.
00:35:07.000 Turns out, that was a bad calculation.
00:35:09.000 That's a terrible calculation.
00:35:11.000 So that's called the Pied Piper strategy.
00:35:12.000 That's why you turn on Chris Hayes and he would show Donald Trump's empty podium for an hour instead of a Bernie Sanders.
00:35:19.000 And then he wags his finger at people with no money and no power for not voting for a corporatist warmonger like Hillary Clinton.
00:35:25.000 Why do you think the people in Michigan wouldn't vote for Hillary Clinton?
00:35:29.000 Maybe because she put half of them in fucking prison?
00:35:31.000 Maybe because she passed NAFTA and Barack Obama was trying to sell TPP at the top of his lungs at the same time she was trying to get working people to vote for her?
00:35:38.000 They know what the fuck was going on.
00:35:40.000 And that's why half the country doesn't vote.
00:35:42.000 But you're going to wag your finger at the people who actually do vote?
00:35:45.000 Who come out and vote their conscience?
00:35:46.000 And they don't fucking prop up evil?
00:35:48.000 You know what the voting for lesser of two evil gets you?
00:35:51.000 Donald fucking Trump!
00:35:54.000 Well, there's also a really sneaky thing that happens where you have two parties, and one of them you think of as this conservative, warmongering party, which automatically makes the other party the enemy of that.
00:36:07.000 Yeah, but they're not.
00:36:07.000 They're not.
00:36:08.000 We have two pro-war parties, and there's not an opposition party.
00:36:11.000 They oppose Trump on the most ridiculous bullshit.
00:36:14.000 They just voted for an extra $160 billion to go to the war machine.
00:36:18.000 $160 billion.
00:36:19.000 Let's remember, Bernie Sanders wanted to pay for free college, which was somewhere around $65 billion.
00:36:24.000 And everybody said, he's fucking crazy.
00:36:26.000 How are you going to pay for that?
00:36:27.000 They just did that in a blink of an eye.
00:36:29.000 They passed $160 billion to a war machine that we don't have an enemy to fight.
00:36:33.000 You know, Russia spends $65 billion a year on their military.
00:36:36.000 They're a paper tiger.
00:36:37.000 We've got no fucking enemies out there.
00:36:39.000 We have to keep inventing them.
00:36:40.000 The last enemy they invented was ISIS. ISIS, I don't know, we're supposed to shit our pants over them, Joe, because they have kitchen knives.
00:36:48.000 They'll cut your head off with a kitchen knife.
00:36:49.000 That's what I'm supposed to be afraid of?
00:36:51.000 What the fuck?
00:36:53.000 It's amazing how they can keep us scared so they can keep perpetual war going.
00:36:58.000 This is an Orwellian nightmare, and the Democrats right now should be screaming about the Pentagon budget, but they're not screaming about it because they're complicit!
00:37:06.000 They're in it!
00:37:07.000 And that's what's wrong with this country.
00:37:09.000 That's why we can't have nice things.
00:37:11.000 So when they tell you that we're broke and we can't afford stuff, they don't mean we can't afford trillion-dollar wars, trillion-dollar bank bailouts, billion-dollar oil subsidies, and prison construction.
00:37:21.000 That's not what they mean.
00:37:22.000 They mean we can't afford shit like healthcare, or education, or roads, or bridges, or firemen, or libraries, or anything that makes your fucking life better.
00:37:29.000 Because whenever they need bombs, they got it.
00:37:31.000 Hey, we're broke for Social Security.
00:37:32.000 We're broke for Medicare.
00:37:33.000 How about for bombs?
00:37:34.000 Oh, we got bomb money.
00:37:35.000 We keep it right through our fucking drinking money.
00:37:37.000 That is true because we're not really in a war in the sense of like World War II or World War I. We're in this weird war of...
00:37:45.000 It's like a calculated war.
00:37:47.000 They're all economic wars, Joe.
00:37:48.000 So we went into Iraq for the oil.
00:37:51.000 Libya is because he wanted to go off the petrodollar.
00:37:54.000 But it is stunning how much funding this kind of war gets versus all the different social programs that we need in this country.
00:38:01.000 Yes!
00:38:01.000 Infrastructure programs.
00:38:02.000 Yes, and people always think like, well, how are you going to pay for that?
00:38:05.000 We don't have to spend any more money.
00:38:07.000 We can actually spend less money.
00:38:09.000 We don't have to spend $750 billion a year on a military that's bloated.
00:38:13.000 We have 1,000 bases around the world.
00:38:15.000 We don't even know how many bases there are because lots of them are secret.
00:38:19.000 So what do you say to the argument that we need them in order to stay safe?
00:38:22.000 That's not true.
00:38:23.000 That's the big argument, right?
00:38:25.000 The big argument is this is the way we've destroyed ISIS because ISIS was on their way to building up and becoming a real threat.
00:38:30.000 We invented ISIS. We invented Al-Qaeda, and then we invented ISIS. We certainly aided in their...
00:38:36.000 Development.
00:38:37.000 Their development.
00:38:37.000 And then we directly funded them.
00:38:40.000 For people that don't know, the whole Mujahideen story, which Osama Bin Laden was our guy.
00:38:45.000 That's our guy.
00:38:46.000 He was our guy fighting against the Soviets.
00:38:48.000 He was an anti-Russian freedom fighter, is what they called Osama Bin Laden.
00:38:52.000 And then all of a sudden they didn't need him anymore.
00:38:55.000 And we're still in Afghanistan 17 years later.
00:38:58.000 Three more years, that war gets a gold watch.
00:39:00.000 Pfft!
00:39:01.000 What do they do?
00:39:02.000 I mean, what do they do to get us out of there?
00:39:05.000 I mean, literally, what is the exit strategy?
00:39:08.000 There is none.
00:39:09.000 There is no exit strategy.
00:39:09.000 There never was an exit strategy.
00:39:11.000 There's no exit strategy from the Mideast.
00:39:12.000 In fact, they just announced we're going to be permanently in Syria.
00:39:16.000 And by the way, the Syrian war is complete bullshit.
00:39:18.000 Those gas attacks now have been completely debunked.
00:39:21.000 I didn't believe them the first time.
00:39:23.000 So what happened during those gas attacks?
00:39:25.000 So that's called a false flag.
00:39:27.000 So what happens is they wanted the United States to come in on their side to bomb Assad, to overthrow him.
00:39:32.000 Right.
00:39:33.000 And so what they would do is they would do a gas attack on their own people and then blame it on Assad.
00:39:39.000 Has this been proven that they did it?
00:39:41.000 Yes.
00:39:43.000 Jesus Christ.
00:39:44.000 And the first time was in, I think, 2013, and Barack Obama wanted to bomb.
00:39:48.000 And I knew it was bullshit then.
00:39:50.000 Do you remember when everybody freaked out about that?
00:39:52.000 Yes, and then he didn't bomb them.
00:39:54.000 Remember he didn't get to bomb them?
00:39:55.000 Everybody was like, fuck you.
00:39:56.000 Yes, he goes, let's put it to a vote in the Congress.
00:39:58.000 And the people don't want war, Joe.
00:40:00.000 So the people said, fuck you.
00:40:01.000 And he was like, hmm, we're going to do it anyway.
00:40:03.000 Guess what?
00:40:04.000 They did it anyway.
00:40:04.000 They dropped so many bombs on Syria, they ran out of bombs.
00:40:09.000 That's a fact, right?
00:40:10.000 So the Air Force was out of bombs.
00:40:11.000 Which year was this?
00:40:12.000 So, was it 2015?
00:40:14.000 They dropped so many bombs in the Mideast, they ran out of bombs.
00:40:17.000 That's just a fucking fact.
00:40:18.000 Look it up.
00:40:18.000 Well, if you buy all these bombs, you have to use them.
00:40:21.000 I mean, what are you going to do with them?
00:40:23.000 They're just going to sit around, and what if somebody accidentally sets one off while they're in American soil?
00:40:28.000 We don't want that.
00:40:29.000 We can't have that happen.
00:40:31.000 And here's the weird thing that the left is doing right now.
00:40:33.000 They're attacking Donald Trump from the right.
00:40:36.000 And what do I mean by that?
00:40:38.000 So they say Donald Trump is a Putin puppet.
00:40:42.000 And the only way you can prove you're not a Putin puppet is you gotta bomb somebody.
00:40:46.000 You gotta bomb Syria.
00:40:47.000 Remember that?
00:40:48.000 They were like, oh, he's president today because he bombed Syria.
00:40:51.000 Remember that fucking Brian Williams almost nutting in his pants?
00:40:54.000 Well, all he bombed was airstrips.
00:40:56.000 So that's what they're saying.
00:40:57.000 So they go, oh, oh, they bombed airstrips.
00:41:00.000 Oh, you bombed the old planes and not the new planes.
00:41:02.000 So what that is, you're attacking Donald Trump from the right.
00:41:05.000 Because left people are supposed to be for detente, and you're supposed to be anti-war and anti-war.
00:41:12.000 Anti-empire, right?
00:41:13.000 So when you attack Donald Trump, you're going, oh, you didn't really bomb them.
00:41:16.000 You're attacking them from the right.
00:41:17.000 You're saying he should be more militaristic, which is fucked up.
00:41:20.000 Well, it supports the argument that everything is circular, right?
00:41:23.000 That as far right as you get, as far left as you get, you really come to some sort of strange ideological point, like zero point.
00:41:30.000 That can be true, but not in this instance.
00:41:32.000 Because what's happening there is corporate right-wing Democrats are attacking Trump for not being right enough.
00:41:39.000 What you're talking about is where I'm at, where I'm anti-war, and then there's also anti-war, anti-interventionist people on the right.
00:41:45.000 So a lot of people voted for Donald Trump because of that.
00:41:48.000 Because he always said he was an anti-interventionist.
00:41:50.000 He was going to get us out of the Middle East.
00:41:52.000 It was crazy to be there and bring our boys home and all.
00:41:55.000 And that's why a lot of people did vote for Trump because of that.
00:41:57.000 Right.
00:41:58.000 And that's why a lot of people said they felt more comfortable voting for Trump, because Hillary actually promised more war in Syria than he did.
00:42:06.000 And that's turning out to be true, because she wanted a no-fly zone, which means we're going to shoot down a Russian jet?
00:42:12.000 Are you fucking crazy?
00:42:14.000 Right.
00:42:14.000 So...
00:42:18.000 I'm on the left anti-war.
00:42:21.000 There's no anti-war movement in the country that's represented by a political party right now.
00:42:25.000 Do you think that this right, though, the way the left is attacking Donald Trump from the right, as you say it, don't you think it's just because they see an opening there to criticize and to point out his vulnerabilities?
00:42:37.000 What they're doing, this whole Russian narrative...
00:42:41.000 Is the establishment not wanting to examine the system that gave us Donald Trump?
00:42:45.000 And so they want to distract you with Russia until we get to the next election.
00:42:48.000 And it's working.
00:42:49.000 Yes.
00:42:50.000 That's a very good way of putting it.
00:42:51.000 Distract you from a system that's archaic and outdated and doesn't work.
00:42:57.000 They're not asking that question anymore.
00:42:58.000 Why do people vote for Donald Trump?
00:43:00.000 In fact, the only time they asked it, they took the shittiest answer was because of racism.
00:43:04.000 Really, the same country that voted for Barack Obama twice.
00:43:06.000 Well, somebody just doubled down on that the other day.
00:43:09.000 That's just so fucking...
00:43:10.000 Someone was saying...
00:43:10.000 Are there racists who voted for Donald Trump?
00:43:14.000 Yes!
00:43:14.000 Of course.
00:43:17.000 Alonzo Bowden said it best.
00:43:18.000 He said, not all Trump supporters are racists, but all racists are Trump supporters.
00:43:23.000 Fucking Alonzo.
00:43:26.000 That's a great line.
00:43:28.000 And, you know, I went to a Trump rally, and it was disgusting and scary.
00:43:32.000 And it was all xenophobia, and it was all race.
00:43:36.000 It was worse than I thought it was going to be.
00:43:38.000 Well, he found he tapped into that.
00:43:40.000 But what's interesting about him tapping into that is this is not something that he had been chiming on about for years.
00:43:45.000 He was a Democrat for the longest time.
00:43:47.000 He's not an ideologue, which is, you know, I heard when he got into office, he was like, why don't we just give everybody Medicare?
00:43:52.000 Which is, of course, the answer.
00:43:54.000 Right.
00:43:54.000 You just give everybody Medicare.
00:43:55.000 Because it saves its money.
00:43:57.000 Instead of food stamps, let's give them food.
00:43:59.000 He's like, we have this issue with people where they buy cigarettes and booze and stuff with food stamps.
00:44:04.000 Let's just give them food.
00:44:05.000 It's not a bad idea.
00:44:06.000 That's not a bad idea.
00:44:08.000 I mean, if it's healthy, good food, I mean, have places where people can go and pick up healthy, good food.
00:44:14.000 That might be a very good idea.
00:44:16.000 You know, we need an infrastructure plan in the United States.
00:44:19.000 Yes.
00:44:20.000 And, you know...
00:44:22.000 And FDR did that, right?
00:44:24.000 He gave old people retirement.
00:44:25.000 He gave young people a job.
00:44:27.000 He gave people dignity.
00:44:29.000 He gave them a job.
00:44:31.000 And he said, if you're willing to work, you'll have a job.
00:44:33.000 Remember the old saying when I grew up was, there's going to be a chicken in every pot and a car in every garage or something like that?
00:44:38.000 Something like that.
00:44:39.000 And they don't say that shit anymore, right?
00:44:41.000 Because the government is not there to help you anymore.
00:44:43.000 But the government does pretend that they are.
00:44:45.000 Yes.
00:44:46.000 One of the things that Trump is going on about is how many more people are working today than before.
00:44:51.000 African-American unemployment is at the lowest point in 40 years.
00:44:55.000 The economy is booming, all these different things.
00:44:58.000 When they say the economy is booming, they mean Wall Street is booming.
00:45:02.000 But there's no correlation between Wall Street and regular people's lives.
00:45:06.000 There's not?
00:45:07.000 Well, the stock market has been booming.
00:45:09.000 I remember I got called into CNN to do a thing when the stock market crossed $13,000.
00:45:15.000 Now it's up $25,000.
00:45:17.000 That was a big watershed moment.
00:45:18.000 That was just like eight years ago I got called in to do that at CNN. That was like, oh my god.
00:45:22.000 So we've doubled the stock market.
00:45:25.000 People's paychecks haven't doubled.
00:45:26.000 People's lives have gotten worse, actually.
00:45:28.000 But I have a problem with saying that, because there's just too many people you're dealing with.
00:45:33.000 When you say people's lives have gotten worse, like, what people?
00:45:37.000 There's too many people.
00:45:38.000 Well, I'll tell you, so 63% of the country can't afford a $1,000 emergency.
00:45:41.000 Half the country right now is either poor or low income.
00:45:45.000 50% of all wage earners earn less than $30,000 a year in the richest country in the world.
00:45:50.000 Jack Ma, who is the Jeff Bezos of Asia, he runs the Amazon of Asia, and he said, you know, the problem with the United States isn't making money, it's that you guys don't distribute it right.
00:46:02.000 Well, that's some communist shit coming over from China.
00:46:04.000 You're going to let that slide by, Jimmy Dore?
00:46:06.000 Well, it's called those communist billionaires are buying up all our real estate.
00:46:09.000 How the fuck did a socialist country produce all those billionaires?
00:46:12.000 Well, go to, well...
00:46:14.000 As soon as they got into communism, or into capitalism rather, they did it in a very ruthless way.
00:46:19.000 I mean, you look at what, it's really kind of fucked up, like what's going on with some of the places where we buy our goods, like Foxconn, where they make iPhones, they have nets around the building to keep people from fucking jumping off.
00:46:30.000 But when Trump has been in office for only a year, he can't expect all those things to change, but his argument has been that those things are improving.
00:46:38.000 You think it's all horseshit?
00:46:40.000 Yes.
00:46:41.000 So why is African American unemployment at the lowest rate that it's been in 40 years?
00:46:44.000 Is that because it's unreported?
00:46:46.000 Like, when people stop looking for jobs, they stop counting those as being unemployed.
00:46:51.000 So there's that.
00:46:52.000 Yeah.
00:46:53.000 They stop taking unemployment and they stop looking for jobs.
00:46:55.000 So they don't count them.
00:46:56.000 Right.
00:46:56.000 They don't count them, but they're still unemployed.
00:46:58.000 It's a real sneaky statistic.
00:47:00.000 Yes.
00:47:01.000 Also...
00:47:02.000 I would really like it if someone was honest about that.
00:47:04.000 I would like it, too.
00:47:05.000 Like, what's the real unemployment rate?
00:47:07.000 That's what we want to know.
00:47:08.000 What's the real unemployment rate?
00:47:08.000 How would we find that out, though?
00:47:10.000 I don't know.
00:47:11.000 Maybe...
00:47:11.000 I noticed a guy named Mark Blythe.
00:47:13.000 He would probably know what it is.
00:47:14.000 He's an economist.
00:47:16.000 He coined the term global Trumpism.
00:47:19.000 And he has a great line.
00:47:21.000 He tells the elites...
00:47:33.000 That's a very bad area to be.
00:47:37.000 Not a defensible position, meaning when the fucking people come for you, you're dead.
00:47:42.000 Yeah.
00:47:43.000 It's not like there's a military base in the Hamptons.
00:47:44.000 Right.
00:47:45.000 You're not up on a hill.
00:47:46.000 Good fishing, though.
00:47:46.000 People can get to you.
00:47:48.000 A lot of gold diggers.
00:47:49.000 So the jobs suck.
00:47:50.000 Everybody's jobs sucks.
00:47:51.000 And we hollowed out the unions.
00:47:54.000 NAFTA was the crushing blow to the unions in this country.
00:47:58.000 And, you know...
00:48:01.000 Unions is one of the things that actually cushions the blow of the brutalities of a free market, right?
00:48:09.000 So you have unions, you have social programs, because capitalism fucks everybody, and so you have to have all these things in place to kind of cushion the blow of it.
00:48:17.000 And we got rid of them, right?
00:48:19.000 Bill Clinton gutted welfare at the same time he did NAFTA. I mean, and then he exploded the prison population.
00:48:24.000 I mean...
00:48:25.000 But people that I know that were in unions, particularly some friends that I have that were in the auto union, were saying that it was getting completely bloated.
00:48:33.000 They were having two people doing a job that was only for one person, and there was all this...
00:48:39.000 There was all this real, wanton, purposeful waste.
00:48:44.000 And this was all designed into certain contracts.
00:48:47.000 This is a buddy of mine that was an auto worker in Detroit.
00:48:50.000 He said, we had shifts where there was supposed to be two people on the job, but everybody knew it was a real simple thing.
00:48:55.000 You work a machine.
00:48:56.000 So I would work four hours, and he would work four hours.
00:48:59.000 Or I would work a day, and he would work a day.
00:49:01.000 But we both punched in.
00:49:02.000 And it was just common, and there were several of those.
00:49:05.000 And he goes, and you were getting $100,000 a year, $200,000 a year for some jobs, just ridiculous amounts of money for jobs that really didn't warrant that kind of income.
00:49:14.000 And he said this was all negotiated into the contract.
00:49:17.000 He's like, it's a good thing to give fair wages and healthy wages and health insurance and all these different things.
00:49:23.000 He said, but it was unquestionably bloated, which opened the door to all these factories going to Mexico and all these other places.
00:49:30.000 Well, what opened the door for those factories?
00:49:32.000 I would say two things to that.
00:49:34.000 First of all, it's kind of anti-logical to think that the union would say, no, we're not going to negotiate on this and go ahead and take our jobs, both of those jobs, to Mexico.
00:49:44.000 I don't think they had a chance.
00:49:45.000 Right.
00:49:46.000 Number two is, if you look at the strongest economies, you look at Germany, they have strong unions.
00:49:50.000 Japan, they have strong unions.
00:49:51.000 And by the way, the unions sit on their boards.
00:49:54.000 Well, there's also a real problem in the 1980s, and I guess a little bit in the late 70s when the oil crisis happened.
00:50:01.000 America was making dogshit cars.
00:50:03.000 They were just making terrible cars, and then Japanese were making these cars that were goddamn bulletproof.
00:50:08.000 You'd buy a Toyota Corolla, and that fucking thing would go 400,000, 500,000 miles without a single problem.
00:50:15.000 You know, you buy an Oldsmobile.
00:50:17.000 And that thing would shit the bed inside of a month and a half, and you'd be fucking furious.
00:50:20.000 And everybody was like, buy American, buy American.
00:50:22.000 And a lot of people were like, well, fuck you, man.
00:50:24.000 You're making shitty cars.
00:50:26.000 I bought a Dodge Daytona.
00:50:28.000 I had it for maybe three months, and the handle fell off in my hand.
00:50:34.000 I went to open the door, and it came off in my hand.
00:50:36.000 I was like, motherfucker!
00:50:38.000 And that was, I think, the first car I ever bought.
00:50:44.000 Well, I was a road comic.
00:50:45.000 I'm like, I have to buy a Honda.
00:50:47.000 I'm a road comic.
00:50:48.000 I can't.
00:50:49.000 This has been the early 90s.
00:50:50.000 I'm like, I have to buy a car that I can rely on in the winter.
00:50:52.000 Same thing.
00:50:52.000 I had an Accord.
00:50:53.000 I had a Civic.
00:50:54.000 They're the best.
00:50:56.000 They never break.
00:50:57.000 They never broke.
00:50:59.000 So I would look at that.
00:51:00.000 Unions, it's not the problem.
00:51:02.000 The unions aren't the problem.
00:51:03.000 In fact, unions are an answer to the problem.
00:51:05.000 And if you look at the economies everyone wants to be like, look at Germany.
00:51:09.000 By the way, the German unions just won the right to work 28 hours a week, and they got a 4% pay raise.
00:51:16.000 I would say that's 8 hours too much.
00:51:18.000 I would agree with you.
00:51:20.000 I was talking about this yesterday with Johan Hari who wrote a book on depression and one of the major causes being the way people live their lives without control, doing things they don't want to do.
00:51:29.000 And he was saying that somewhere in the neighborhood of 87% of the people are doing things they don't want to be doing most of the time.
00:51:36.000 For a job.
00:51:38.000 And I was making the argument that we've set up this structure that's just completely ridiculous and we've stuck with it because it's just the way we've always done things.
00:51:48.000 It's 40 hour work week plus overtime.
00:51:50.000 It's chaos.
00:51:51.000 You're losing your life.
00:51:52.000 And by the way, we'd be working more if it wasn't for unions.
00:51:55.000 We have a weekend because of unions, right?
00:51:57.000 Back to the Foxconn thing.
00:51:59.000 They don't have unions, and they have fucking nets around their building and dormitories where they work.
00:52:03.000 So that's what people say about Amazon, too.
00:52:05.000 And my whole thing is, like, people are like, why do you still, you know, you can't use Amazon, you can't.
00:52:09.000 I'm like, you know, it's so hard to live off the grid.
00:52:12.000 You know what I mean?
00:52:13.000 It's like, I drive a car, so I'm going to have to buy gas from Exxon or Shell.
00:52:17.000 All right, so does that make me a bad lefty because I'm supporting an oil company?
00:52:20.000 You're supposed to get a Prius, bro.
00:52:21.000 You know?
00:52:22.000 I mean, you still put gas in a Prius.
00:52:23.000 Oh, that's right.
00:52:24.000 You've got to get a Tesla.
00:52:25.000 Yeah.
00:52:25.000 But then you're rich.
00:52:26.000 You're a rich piece of shit.
00:52:27.000 Yeah.
00:52:28.000 Well, the Tesla 3 is a cheaper one, right?
00:52:30.000 It's like $50,000 or something?
00:52:31.000 But if you get the shit you want on it, it's still going to cost more.
00:52:34.000 Right.
00:52:34.000 You want AC. You want electric wind.
00:52:37.000 Right.
00:52:37.000 What you got to do is you got to get an old car, like an old Civic, and then rebuild it.
00:52:41.000 Yeah.
00:52:42.000 Well, I lease now.
00:52:44.000 I don't buy cars.
00:52:45.000 That's a scam, I think, buying cars.
00:52:46.000 But anyway...
00:52:48.000 It is for the most part, but not if you buy classic cars.
00:52:51.000 Oh, no, that's different.
00:52:52.000 Definitely.
00:52:53.000 If you're Jay Leno.
00:52:54.000 Yeah.
00:52:56.000 You have to stick your chin out when you do that.
00:52:57.000 Boy, his new show is fantastic.
00:52:59.000 It's really good.
00:53:00.000 That car show is...
00:53:01.000 That's the show I wish he would have been doing all along.
00:53:02.000 I said the exact same thing.
00:53:03.000 Are you kidding me?
00:53:04.000 Yes.
00:53:04.000 I couldn't believe how much I liked it.
00:53:06.000 I like him.
00:53:07.000 I like him on that show.
00:53:10.000 Well, you know why?
00:53:11.000 It's because he's passionate.
00:53:13.000 I like him!
00:53:14.000 It's like, that's who he really is.
00:53:16.000 You know, when you would watch him interview someone, you could tell he didn't give a fuck about the question he was asking.
00:53:22.000 Do you remember the Bill Hicks bit?
00:53:23.000 Yeah.
00:53:24.000 Bill Hicks bit about him interviewing...
00:53:26.000 Hey, Joey.
00:53:26.000 Hey, Joey Lawrence.
00:53:27.000 That's right.
00:53:28.000 You got a car now, you driving?
00:53:30.000 You driving?
00:53:30.000 You got a girlfriend?
00:53:31.000 You got a girlfriend?
00:53:32.000 No, yeah.
00:53:33.000 And then Bill Hex would have Jay Leno reach into his drawer and pull out an Uzi and stick it in his mouth.
00:53:40.000 I used to be a fucking real comic!
00:53:42.000 And he blows his brains out and it forms an NBC peacock on the wall.
00:53:47.000 On the wall behind him.
00:53:48.000 Because he's a company man to the bitter end.
00:53:50.000 That was the bit.
00:53:51.000 And he had him reloading.
00:53:54.000 Oh my god, what has it become?
00:53:56.000 Well, that's the weirdest thing.
00:53:57.000 Jay Leno was, again, one of my inspirations to become a comedian.
00:54:03.000 Back in the early day.
00:54:04.000 Yeah, and I would tell people that, and they were like, huh?
00:54:07.000 Because they only knew him from The Tonight Show.
00:54:09.000 And I'm like, I don't know what he's doing on that show, but he's the funniest guy in the world.
00:54:12.000 It would be like if Dave Chappelle, before he did Chappelle's show, decided to host a talk show and then completely stopped anything controversial and completely stopped having an opinion on anything.
00:54:25.000 If you look at that, when Jay Leno used to go on David Letterman...
00:54:28.000 He was the guy.
00:54:30.000 He was the guy.
00:54:31.000 He was edgy and dangerous.
00:54:33.000 Super edgy.
00:54:34.000 Super edgy.
00:54:36.000 He made fun of corporate America like nobody's business.
00:54:39.000 He was a sharp comic.
00:54:41.000 I'm the best comic.
00:54:43.000 So that's why it was funny.
00:54:45.000 When he got The Tonight Show, I just didn't think he showed off his talents.
00:54:49.000 No.
00:54:50.000 But for him, that was making it.
00:54:52.000 He made it.
00:54:53.000 Yeah, that was in his head.
00:54:53.000 In his head.
00:54:54.000 That's it.
00:54:55.000 In our heads, we were like, what?
00:54:59.000 Did you miss everything?
00:55:00.000 Like, what the fuck are you doing?
00:55:02.000 You know what?
00:55:02.000 I was on The Tonight Show.
00:55:04.000 Oh, okay.
00:55:04.000 And a couple times, one time I was on, and during the break, I sat there with Jay, and I said, I think it was the first time I was on, I said, hey, man.
00:55:13.000 I go, what was up with that Bill Hicks bit?
00:55:16.000 I go, what was that about?
00:55:17.000 No!
00:55:17.000 Shit!
00:55:19.000 I had to.
00:55:19.000 I had to ask.
00:55:20.000 Ugh!
00:55:21.000 Because I was like, what are the odds I want to be on the show again?
00:55:24.000 I'm like, I'm on once.
00:55:25.000 I think it was...
00:55:26.000 The Fear Factor days, which is like, in the early Fear Factor days, I was 100% convinced that show was canceled at any second now.
00:55:32.000 So I'm like, this is my one chance to get on the Jay Leno show.
00:55:35.000 Let me ask him some questions.
00:55:36.000 So he's like, do you like doing that joke?
00:55:39.000 And I go, yeah, yeah, it's not bad.
00:55:41.000 I go, hey man, let me ask you this.
00:55:42.000 I go, what was up with that Bill Hicks thing, right?
00:55:44.000 And his take on it was, you know, well, I wanted to do jokes for everybody.
00:55:49.000 I wanted to do comedy for everybody, and Bill just didn't believe in doing comedy for everybody.
00:55:54.000 I thought it was interesting.
00:55:55.000 I don't think he expected me to ask it to him.
00:55:58.000 I had him on the podcast, and he was fucking fantastic.
00:56:01.000 Because after he'd retired, he told some stories about doing stand-up for mob people, and about this guy fucking screaming at a priest, you fucking motherfucker, put the fucking...
00:56:09.000 And it was a hilarious thing to watch Jay Leno telling hilarious stories...
00:56:16.000 And swearing like a fucking longshoreman.
00:56:19.000 And I was like, wow, this is crazy.
00:56:21.000 You're a regular guy.
00:56:23.000 You've always been a regular guy.
00:56:24.000 You were just doing the Tonight Show thing.
00:56:27.000 And I heard stories about Jay that he loved to watch hacky comedy.
00:56:31.000 And the reason why this stuck in my head was because I used to do that, too, with Todd Glass.
00:56:38.000 We would...
00:56:40.000 We would, if the worse the comedian, the better.
00:56:43.000 We'd have three specials lined up for a night.
00:56:46.000 We'd be like, fuck, this is going to be great!
00:56:48.000 And we found out after, I found out that Jay Leno used to do the same thing.
00:56:53.000 When he would see a comic that he didn't think, you know, he thought was horrible, he would hunt down a tape of it and then everyone would have to come over to his house and they'd watch it.
00:57:02.000 This is a story I heard, so maybe this isn't.
00:57:04.000 I'm sure it's true.
00:57:05.000 And I'm like, holy fuck!
00:57:07.000 That's what we do.
00:57:09.000 Well, he just turned everything mild.
00:57:11.000 You know, he turned everything mild for many, many years.
00:57:13.000 It just wasn't who he was or what made me like him.
00:57:17.000 And it confused me.
00:57:18.000 And I felt personally let down by him.
00:57:20.000 I felt like he let down comedy.
00:57:22.000 Because now he was supposed to show the old people what the new people were doing in comedy, and then he just kind of didn't.
00:57:29.000 But now you see him, and he's a very likable person.
00:57:32.000 He's fun.
00:57:33.000 His show is fun.
00:57:34.000 That show, it's because exactly he's talking about shit he cares about.
00:57:39.000 That show was not made for him, the Tonight Show.
00:57:41.000 Even though he was the number one show, so what do we know, right?
00:57:43.000 It was still the number one show, so maybe I'm wrong.
00:57:45.000 Well, it was a different thing, you know, because Letterman...
00:57:49.000 He seemed passionate.
00:57:50.000 He seemed to be enjoying it.
00:57:52.000 And when he would say witty things and sharp things to people, you could tell he was getting a little bit of a thrill out of it.
00:58:00.000 There was some excitement to Letterman's position that you didn't sense with Jay Leno.
00:58:05.000 Jay Leno was just like, well, you know, making everybody happy.
00:58:08.000 So the thing I liked about late night shows when I was younger was that there was a sense of danger, that anything could happen.
00:58:15.000 You didn't know it was going to happen, right?
00:58:17.000 Right.
00:58:18.000 Burt Reynolds is going to come out drunk.
00:58:20.000 You know what I mean?
00:58:21.000 You know, shit like that.
00:58:22.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:58:22.000 And they used to smoke.
00:58:23.000 Yeah!
00:58:24.000 And they would talk about things.
00:58:26.000 They would talk show.
00:58:27.000 They would actually talk about things.
00:58:28.000 And, you know, watch Dick Cavett.
00:58:30.000 And I remember he had Mort Sahl come out with Jane Fonda and Peter Fonda right after the Easy Rider came out.
00:58:38.000 And they're all talking.
00:58:39.000 Like, this is a fucking...
00:58:40.000 And that's counterculture.
00:58:42.000 And it's right on...
00:58:43.000 And so it was really good.
00:58:44.000 That's when shows were...
00:58:45.000 That's dead.
00:58:47.000 Now they're all fluff.
00:58:48.000 It's all fucking bubblegum bullshit.
00:58:50.000 Well, there was an outlet for that, though, and it was filled by comedy in podcasts.
00:58:55.000 Yeah, so now podcasts are doing that, and those late-night shows, I have no idea what they're doing or why they even exist.
00:59:00.000 They're weird.
00:59:01.000 Even Stephen Colbert, like Stephen Colbert's show on Comedy Central, just a brilliant, brilliant show.
00:59:06.000 And now he quit to get way more money to do a more popular show that is way less relevant, interesting, or creative.
00:59:13.000 But it is funny when he fucking mocks Trump.
00:59:16.000 It's funny how hard he goes.
00:59:18.000 The fact that he said that Trump's mouth, but that he uses his mouth as Putin's cock holster, the fact that they said that on CBS, I was like, wow, this is what happens when you have to compete with the internet.
00:59:30.000 Who the fuck could have imagined ever in your wildest dream?
00:59:34.000 That lefty comedians would be doing McCarthy smears?
00:59:36.000 Who the fucking thought, huh?
00:59:37.000 Right on national TV. But a joke like that.
00:59:41.000 I get the McCarthyism thing, but the joke of a cockholster, the president's mouth being used as Putin's cockholster, that that would be on CBS. I get that you're applauding that he broke a boundary.
00:59:55.000 Well, I'm not applauding it.
00:59:57.000 I'm just saying it's fascinating that we've changed what's the bar, what you're allowed to do.
01:00:03.000 And because it's Trump, if they said that about Hillary Clinton, if he said, because look at all this Russia dossier memo shit that's coming out.
01:00:13.000 I mean, it turns out that a lot of this stuff is horseshit.
01:00:16.000 So a lot of people who weren't around for the first McCarthy shit, they're getting to experience it now.
01:00:21.000 This is what it's like.
01:00:21.000 Yeah.
01:00:22.000 This is what it's like.
01:00:23.000 And you're like, what?
01:00:24.000 Even the media is?
01:00:25.000 Yeah.
01:00:25.000 And the media goes along.
01:00:26.000 Yeah, this is what it's like.
01:00:28.000 And, you know...
01:00:31.000 I don't want to spend any amount of time talking about it, but it's so unbelievable.
01:00:36.000 They forgot.
01:00:37.000 You're talking to a wall when you tell people, just go, well, you mean there was collusion?
01:00:40.000 I go, what's collusion?
01:00:42.000 What does that mean, collusion?
01:00:43.000 That Trump colluded with the Russians hacked into John Podesta's emails, and somehow they needed Trump to help them?
01:00:50.000 Yeah.
01:00:50.000 What the fuck?
01:00:51.000 Right.
01:00:52.000 Because that's what they're saying.
01:00:53.000 Exactly.
01:00:54.000 And that there's some kind of quid pro quo, and that now Trump is a Manchurian candidate, and that he's Putin's puppet.
01:01:01.000 But you notice they're moving the goalposts every day.
01:01:05.000 So now it's, oh no, now he's in bed with Russian oligarchs doing money laundering.
01:01:09.000 Well, you don't know.
01:01:10.000 There's a sale of a home.
01:01:12.000 A Russian bought it!
01:01:14.000 Russian!
01:01:15.000 So they've totally moved the goalposts from being treason to now he's just regular corrupt like everybody else.
01:01:20.000 Because let me tell you something.
01:01:21.000 Everybody else is regular corrupt like Trump.
01:01:23.000 But I don't even know if it's regular corrupt because we're talking about a sale of a house from quite a few years ago.
01:01:29.000 Well, there's more.
01:01:29.000 That's one thing, but they're talking about lots of other things, right?
01:01:32.000 And I say, you want to talk about collusion?
01:01:34.000 He opened up eight businesses in Saudi Arabia during the goddamn campaign.
01:01:38.000 There's your fucking collusion.
01:01:39.000 But nobody talks about that because Saudi Arabia is supposed to be on our side, even with a repressive theocracy that beheads people in the streets.
01:01:45.000 But we like them because of the petrodollar, which no one ever talks about the petrodollar.
01:01:49.000 It's dirty.
01:01:50.000 Well, that's what props up our dollar right now, the economy.
01:01:52.000 So what people don't know is that in the early 70s, Richard Nixon took our country off the gold standard, and we went on the petrodollar.
01:02:00.000 And what was that?
01:02:01.000 We promised Saudi Arabia the use of our military anywhere they wanted, as long as they would convert every dollar of oil that someone bought for them in American dollars.
01:02:11.000 So if you want to buy oil from Saudi Arabia, you first have to convert your currency into American dollars.
01:02:14.000 Which is the real reason why we invaded Iraq the first time.
01:02:17.000 Well, it has a lot to do with it.
01:02:19.000 It's why we're in Yemen right now.
01:02:20.000 We're doing siege warfare in Yemen, which is a war crime.
01:02:24.000 That guy just got convicted of it at The Hague.
01:02:27.000 So we're doing that in conjunction with Saudi Arabia.
01:02:29.000 And why are we doing that?
01:02:31.000 Because of the petrodollar.
01:02:32.000 And it's all about why are we in Africa?
01:02:34.000 It's Everything comes down to money, and why are we in Syria?
01:02:38.000 They wanted to put a natural gas pipeline through Syria, and Russia doesn't want it because they want to sell the natural gas to Europe.
01:02:45.000 That's what this is about.
01:02:47.000 It's not about babies.
01:02:48.000 It's not about freedom.
01:02:49.000 It's not about liberty.
01:02:54.000 You clearly don't like country music.
01:02:56.000 I like real country music.
01:02:58.000 What is real country music?
01:02:59.000 I like country like the Outlaw comedian.
01:03:01.000 Merle Haggard?
01:03:01.000 Yeah, I like that guy.
01:03:03.000 Waylon Jennings?
01:03:03.000 Yeah, I like Willie Nelson.
01:03:05.000 Yeah, not these fucking pussies who want to be Boy Scouts and my mama and all that shit.
01:03:10.000 Whoa.
01:03:10.000 What?
01:03:11.000 Pussies.
01:03:11.000 I'm not supposed to say pussies?
01:03:14.000 Well, it's going to be a time when we can't say pussies anymore.
01:03:16.000 Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits.
01:03:18.000 George Carlin.
01:03:19.000 So a lot of people are trying to use hashtag MeToo for puritanical reasons, and that's not what it's about.
01:03:24.000 Hashtag MeToo is about fucking stopping men who use their power and station in life.
01:03:29.000 To hold it over women for sexual purposes.
01:03:32.000 That's what that's about.
01:03:33.000 It's not about being a Puritan.
01:03:35.000 It's not about being anti-porn.
01:03:37.000 It's nothing wrong with lusting after a woman's tits and a woman's ass.
01:03:40.000 There's nothing wrong with that.
01:03:42.000 And there's nothing wrong with a woman wanting to be fucked by a man.
01:03:45.000 Those are normal things.
01:03:47.000 That's okay.
01:03:47.000 And don't let people hijack that movement and try to use it for Puritanism.
01:03:52.000 This is what a lot of people are doing.
01:03:54.000 Shit, piss, fuck, on, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits.
01:03:56.000 I'm triggered.
01:03:57.000 I hope you're triggered, too.
01:03:59.000 Yeah, I mean, absolutely.
01:04:02.000 I mean, I think that what we're dealing with is an exposure of sexual assault, exposure of sexual harassment, sexual assault, particularly in the workplace.
01:04:11.000 You know, and this is a giant issue for people that have to work alongside men and women, and they develop these little communities inside these little boxes that we call offices, and things get really fucking weird.
01:04:22.000 And if you have a boss that's a piece of shit, And he's constantly harassing the women that work there, and it becomes a living hell with them.
01:04:27.000 There's stress, they're going through...
01:04:28.000 I mean, it is a crime.
01:04:29.000 You're doing something to those people that work there.
01:04:32.000 You're putting this pressure on them.
01:04:34.000 You're fucking up their life.
01:04:36.000 Could you imagine doing...
01:04:37.000 The last thing I would ever want to do was impose myself sexually on a woman who didn't want it.
01:04:42.000 Yeah.
01:04:43.000 Right?
01:04:43.000 Well, you're a healthy person.
01:04:45.000 For some people, it's just about getting to the end goal.
01:04:48.000 We've all been drunk.
01:04:50.000 Right?
01:04:51.000 We've all been on a date where a woman didn't want to have sex, and we did, and we pushed the issue, but...
01:05:00.000 You know, I just can't imagine...
01:05:02.000 Like, I just never...
01:05:03.000 I just can't...
01:05:03.000 I don't get that.
01:05:04.000 She doesn't like you.
01:05:04.000 Oh, I'm gonna make her go feel uncomfortable?
01:05:07.000 Like, what the fuck do you get out of that?
01:05:08.000 That's just weird.
01:05:09.000 Well, there's people that hate the opposite sex.
01:05:11.000 I mean, and I say the opposite sex.
01:05:13.000 I don't mean just men who hate women.
01:05:15.000 There's women who hate men.
01:05:16.000 There's people who have associated the opposite sex with rejection and pain and frustration all of their life.
01:05:23.000 You look at a guy like Harvey Weinstein.
01:05:25.000 That is an ugly, fat guy, right?
01:05:27.000 Right?
01:05:27.000 There's no women who are lusting after him.
01:05:29.000 It was his power and his money that got him into a position where he could get some pussy.
01:05:34.000 And then having power over all these actresses and then hearing whether it's Uma Thurman or whatever famous actress, Salma Hayek, all these superstars.
01:05:45.000 We're fighting this guy off in hotel rooms.
01:05:48.000 I mean, it's fucking crazy.
01:05:49.000 I mean, he's a maniac, but he's a disgusting guy who has no shot at getting someone to appreciate him physically.
01:05:58.000 They might like his personality, but for someone to be physically attracted to him is almost impossible.
01:06:03.000 Right?
01:06:04.000 I mean, he's eating himself into this disgusting shape.
01:06:07.000 Unless you have a fetish or whatever.
01:06:08.000 Yeah, you might be just into getting fucked by Jabba the Hutt.
01:06:11.000 Just big fat guy with pockmarked skin shooting loads all over you.
01:06:15.000 There's no way it makes any sense, right?
01:06:17.000 But if he was going to put you in Ocean's Eleven...
01:06:19.000 You gotta do what you gotta do.
01:06:24.000 Well, you know, Matt Damon, what did Matt Damon say that they were trying to get him out of that new Oceans movie?
01:06:30.000 Well, didn't he say something about there's a continuum or something, that everything is Harvey Weinstein?
01:06:35.000 Wasn't that it?
01:06:36.000 I don't remember the exact quote, but it was something along the lines of, we have to make a differentiation between sexual assault and men hitting on women.
01:06:48.000 What's really interesting is seeing how they're acting about this in France and in Europe.
01:06:53.000 A lot of women, especially older actors.
01:06:54.000 Did you see that?
01:06:55.000 Yes.
01:06:55.000 Did you see?
01:06:56.000 That's wild.
01:06:57.000 They want men to be men.
01:06:59.000 And in France, I mean, they're just France, pardon.
01:07:02.000 They're just different over there.
01:07:04.000 They have a different attitude.
01:07:05.000 The same as Brazil.
01:07:06.000 My friend Tiago from Brazil told me once, he's like, man, he goes, if you're in Brazil and he goes, if you're with a girl, you don't try to fuck her.
01:07:14.000 She's like, what the fuck is wrong with you?
01:07:16.000 Like, you're not even trying to fuck me?
01:07:18.000 What the fuck is wrong with this?
01:07:19.000 They'll get mad at you.
01:07:22.000 Brazil is a very sexually aggressive place.
01:07:27.000 I'll never forget, I was working at a comedy club and there was a girl there who was beautiful.
01:07:35.000 Right.
01:07:52.000 Because I want to be that guy.
01:07:53.000 Right.
01:07:54.000 And then, I'll never forget, by the end of the week, it was the last night, and she's like, hey, there's a party at my house tonight.
01:07:59.000 Are you going to come?
01:08:01.000 And I was like, oh, sure.
01:08:02.000 Right?
01:08:02.000 So I went to there, whatever.
01:08:03.000 Cut to...
01:08:05.000 I'm leaving, and she goes, are you fucking kidding me?
01:08:08.000 And I go, what?
01:08:09.000 She goes, I threw a party just to get you to my apartment, and you're going to leave?
01:08:12.000 And I was like, oh, really?
01:08:13.000 You want to?
01:08:14.000 And so we had sex.
01:08:17.000 Damn, she had to beat you over the head with it.
01:08:18.000 Yeah, so there was a woman who was...
01:08:21.000 But you didn't want to be the guy that was super aggressive against a girl that was like, hey, I just like you.
01:08:27.000 You're just a fun guy to hang out with.
01:08:28.000 Does everything have to be sex?
01:08:30.000 And I know every guy in the world hit on her.
01:08:32.000 You know what?
01:08:32.000 I honestly...
01:08:33.000 I mean, I don't want to say this because...
01:08:36.000 It's almost like in this day and age, you've got to get to know someone forever before you fuck them.
01:08:40.000 I mean, literally forever.
01:08:41.000 I tried to fuck my wife the first night we went out.
01:08:43.000 Good.
01:08:44.000 Good for you.
01:08:44.000 And she wouldn't, which has probably worked out because we're still together.
01:08:49.000 But I did it in a charming way, right?
01:08:52.000 Right.
01:08:54.000 I would say, honey...
01:08:55.000 Let me ask you this.
01:08:56.000 Why did you try to fuck her on the first night, but it took you five nights for the waitress?
01:09:01.000 Because I didn't want to be that guy at the club.
01:09:03.000 Oh, okay.
01:09:03.000 That makes sense.
01:09:04.000 Because it's a work environment.
01:09:05.000 Yeah.
01:09:05.000 So you're the opposite of a sexual harasser.
01:09:07.000 I guess so.
01:09:08.000 I guess not that I look at it that way.
01:09:09.000 Yeah.
01:09:10.000 The opposite.
01:09:11.000 You're sensitive.
01:09:12.000 Not that you weren't attracted to her.
01:09:13.000 You just didn't want to be a dick.
01:09:14.000 Yeah, I didn't want to have that reputation of that guy.
01:09:17.000 And plus, there's plenty of women in the audience.
01:09:19.000 Yeah.
01:09:21.000 There's plenty of women.
01:09:23.000 So I would tell her, I remember the first night we were together, I was like, hey, I know you're going to say you want me to go home, but you're going to worry that I'm too tired to drive and that I might get in an accident, so you don't have to say that, I'll just stay.
01:09:37.000 That's hilarious.
01:09:38.000 And she's like, no, it's okay.
01:09:38.000 I go, it's nice of you to say that.
01:09:40.000 You're strong.
01:09:40.000 You're brave.
01:09:41.000 But I know you're going to worry, so I'm just staying.
01:09:44.000 That's hilarious.
01:09:45.000 I think I did end up staying, but we didn't have sex.
01:09:48.000 Right.
01:09:48.000 And probably two more times like that.
01:09:52.000 But also, you don't really know someone's personality for a long time.
01:09:58.000 I mean, that's part of the problem.
01:09:59.000 The problem is people have physical needs, and they get attracted to each other, and the next thing you know, look, there's been many times in my life where I wind up having sex with somebody who turned out to be crazy.
01:10:08.000 And then, you know, you're one, two dates in, and you're like, yeah, she seems cool, and next thing you know, you're hanging out, and a week or two later, and she does something completely fucking insane, and then the crazy just starts leaking out of her pores, and you're like, oh, well, now what have I done?
01:10:21.000 I've entangled myself with some person who knows where I live and expects me to call them every day and we're going to get together and I have to figure out a way to back out of this.
01:10:30.000 And then you try to back out of it and they get fucking angry at you.
01:10:34.000 This is back in the old days when people would actually call you up angry too.
01:10:38.000 There was no text messaging back then.
01:10:40.000 You'd just pick up the phone and someone starts yelling at you.
01:10:42.000 Yeah, or I would just duck them for a while until they found some new guy.
01:10:45.000 Remember when people used to answer their phone?
01:10:47.000 Yeah.
01:10:48.000 Remember those days?
01:10:49.000 I don't ever answer my phone.
01:10:49.000 No one ever answers their phone now.
01:10:51.000 Well, I get too many phone calls from people I don't know.
01:10:53.000 I just get phone calls from numbers I don't know.
01:10:55.000 I'm like, where's this guy get my fucking number from?
01:10:57.000 I have no idea.
01:10:57.000 I just look at it, I'm like, eh.
01:10:59.000 Do you ever have, I answered a call, because I didn't, because, you know, you're like, oh, maybe it's that business I just called or calling.
01:11:05.000 You don't know, right?
01:11:06.000 Right, right.
01:11:07.000 So I took one one time, and it was just a number.
01:11:08.000 It didn't come up, and it was someone asking me for money, to borrow them money.
01:11:13.000 It was just a person you know?
01:11:14.000 I knew tangentially in comedy.
01:11:17.000 Whoa.
01:11:17.000 And I didn't say this, and I was like, do you know that your name is not even in my fucking phone book?
01:11:23.000 And you're asking for money.
01:11:24.000 And you're asking me for money.
01:11:25.000 That's a desperate move.
01:11:26.000 That must be a person who's like a gambling addict or something.
01:11:28.000 That's what I thought right away.
01:11:29.000 But getting back to this thing about the women, you know, one time I had a woman, when I first moved to LA, I was dating her, and...
01:11:37.000 I went to her house, and she was really creative, and she was cute, and she wrote songs, and she would sing them for me.
01:11:43.000 I love that shit.
01:11:44.000 And I remember we were going to go have sex, and she goes, hang on, and she took a drink.
01:11:50.000 And I go, what?
01:11:51.000 She goes, do you want a drink?
01:11:52.000 I go, no.
01:11:52.000 And she goes, hold on.
01:11:53.000 And she's like, drinking.
01:11:54.000 And I go, what are you doing?
01:11:55.000 She goes, I have to have a couple drinks before.
01:11:57.000 And then it made me not want to have sex with her.
01:11:59.000 Isn't that fucked up?
01:12:00.000 Wow.
01:12:00.000 I was like, wow, you have to have, you have to drink so you can feel comfortable.
01:12:04.000 I took it personal, which of course it was just her, it was, she needed to relax.
01:12:07.000 Yeah.
01:12:08.000 Because she had fucked up, she had, or not, she had issues or whatever.
01:12:11.000 Right.
01:12:11.000 And so, that was it.
01:12:13.000 I was, I'm like, I can't be with a girl who has to drink to have sex.
01:12:16.000 Well, isn't it a thing, too, though, especially when you're young and single, it's like you don't want to get stuck in a bad situation.
01:12:22.000 I'd seen a lot of bad situations when I was young.
01:12:25.000 My own parents and other people's parents.
01:12:27.000 So I'd see anything fucking sketchy and be like, I know where this is going.
01:12:30.000 I don't want to deal with your problems.
01:12:33.000 I don't have those kind of problems, so see ya!
01:12:36.000 Yeah, I was the same way.
01:12:37.000 I had a lot of bad examples of people.
01:12:40.000 I have no idea why these people would be with the spouse they're with.
01:12:43.000 Like, why would you do that?
01:12:44.000 Like, well, maybe that's going to happen to me because it's unconscious.
01:12:47.000 So I started reading self-help books and watching John Bradshaw videos.
01:12:51.000 I don't know if you knew who that is.
01:12:52.000 Who's John Bradshaw?
01:12:53.000 He invented that term inner child and all that inner child work and all that stuff.
01:12:58.000 That guy fucked up a lot of people's heads.
01:13:01.000 I'm getting to do it with your child.
01:13:02.000 Bitch, you're 40. But it was helpful to me because he broke up the family dynamic, and he talked about how people act, and I come from a big family, 12 kids, and that, you know, how it's, like, it all balances out.
01:13:15.000 You'll have a bad kid and an angel.
01:13:17.000 Right.
01:13:17.000 Right.
01:13:17.000 And everything in between.
01:13:19.000 And so it helped me understand myself a lot.
01:13:23.000 Right.
01:13:24.000 So I wanted to understand my motivations so I didn't make bad choices in my life like I had seen people around me making.
01:13:31.000 Right.
01:13:31.000 Because it's unconscious, right?
01:13:33.000 So you just do what's in habit.
01:13:34.000 You don't even know why you're doing what you're doing half the time.
01:13:38.000 You're not conscious of why you're acting the way you're acting or why you like what you like.
01:13:42.000 You just go, I like that.
01:13:43.000 Why?
01:13:43.000 Right.
01:13:44.000 Well, when I was struggling as a comic, one thing that I definitely did is I only gave a certain amount of room to relationships.
01:13:51.000 Because I knew that I really had to concentrate on my career.
01:13:54.000 Yes!
01:13:55.000 I'm like, if I don't, it will fall apart.
01:13:58.000 There was a kid that I started out with.
01:13:59.000 We both started out together, and he was a pretty funny guy.
01:14:02.000 And he got this girlfriend that was just very demanding, and he stopped doing stand-up less and less.
01:14:07.000 He was doing less and less sets, and then eventually he dropped out.
01:14:10.000 And then I ran into his son many years later.
01:14:13.000 And his son, you know, they wound up having a baby, and his son was saying that his dad just really regretted not getting into comedy.
01:14:21.000 I'm sure he's happy he has a nice son and all that stuff, and he had a family, but it just, it tanked him.
01:14:26.000 You know, there's a saying, I think it might have been Carl Jung, who said, nothing affects a child more than the unlived life of its parent.
01:14:34.000 Oof.
01:14:36.000 So, imagine being a father, and you went after your dream, and you gave it everything you can.
01:14:42.000 Now you can impart that to your kid, and your kid just absorbs it, being around you.
01:14:46.000 Now you didn't do that, you have all that...
01:14:49.000 On your resentment or whatever you feel because you didn't live what your life you were supposed to, and then you can't pass that off, and your kid absorbs that, too.
01:14:57.000 Well, I knew it was so hard to do anyway.
01:14:59.000 It was going to be so hard to make it, and the odds are stacked against you.
01:15:02.000 You're seeing everybody else drop off like flies.
01:15:05.000 You see guys can't get gigs.
01:15:06.000 They wind up quitting.
01:15:07.000 They get a day job.
01:15:08.000 They work less and less, and the next thing you know, they just completely stop doing stand-up.
01:15:11.000 It's so common.
01:15:13.000 And so when I would see, when I have relationships and I'd see those signs where girls are just demanding more and more of my time, why do you have to go up tonight?
01:15:20.000 I'm like, I have to go up four or five nights a week.
01:15:22.000 I have to.
01:15:23.000 You're kidding.
01:15:23.000 Yeah.
01:15:24.000 I'm like, you can come with me.
01:15:25.000 I've seen your act a hundred times.
01:15:26.000 Well, this is what I do.
01:15:29.000 This is what I do.
01:15:30.000 You know, I can't, I don't know what to tell you.
01:15:32.000 I meet guys who their spouses, their significant others aren't into their comedy.
01:15:37.000 And I'm like, how the fuck?
01:15:38.000 It's awful.
01:15:40.000 It's awful.
01:15:40.000 That's the thing that's...
01:15:41.000 What do you like about me?
01:15:44.000 My wife is...
01:15:46.000 I would say she's a fan of comedy, but she's been around me for a long time, and she's hard.
01:15:56.000 Like, if she watches stand-up and it's not good, she's like, this sucks.
01:15:59.000 Well, there's nothing wrong with that.
01:16:00.000 No, it's good.
01:16:01.000 It's a good thing.
01:16:02.000 You know, she's...
01:16:03.000 She's got an eye for it.
01:16:05.000 She understands it.
01:16:06.000 But I have friends whose wives hate comedy.
01:16:10.000 And they do stand-up.
01:16:11.000 That's crazy!
01:16:13.000 And they associate comedy with, like, taking their boyfriend away or taking their husband away.
01:16:19.000 Like, this is that thing that takes away my time, you know, from me with him.
01:16:25.000 Now he's off doing these joke things.
01:16:26.000 Fucking bullshit.
01:16:27.000 Mm-hmm.
01:16:28.000 People get super selfish.
01:16:30.000 You need a better woman.
01:16:31.000 Yeah.
01:16:32.000 Someone who's deeper.
01:16:33.000 Well, you just...
01:16:34.000 People fucking settle.
01:16:36.000 They just settle.
01:16:37.000 Settle.
01:16:37.000 They settle.
01:16:38.000 Yes.
01:16:39.000 My...
01:16:39.000 Anyway, there's so many...
01:16:41.000 I have to...
01:16:42.000 I forget we're on a show sometimes.
01:16:44.000 And I don't want to say shit.
01:16:45.000 I know.
01:16:46.000 He'll probably hear this.
01:16:48.000 So...
01:16:50.000 When I started comedy, I was dating this girl, sweet, sweet girl.
01:16:54.000 And she wanted to get married like you would expect, right?
01:16:57.000 So I was 24 at the time.
01:16:58.000 I was six years to get out of college.
01:17:01.000 And so she bought me a suit so I could go on interviews and get a job.
01:17:06.000 She wanted me to get a job.
01:17:06.000 She bought me a suit.
01:17:09.000 And I had started doing comedy that, right then.
01:17:12.000 And so about six months into doing comedy, I started getting Saturday Night Spots at a real club.
01:17:17.000 They would let me come up, do 10 minutes.
01:17:18.000 Not paid, but I could do it on the regular show, guest set.
01:17:21.000 That's huge at the time, right?
01:17:23.000 That's everything.
01:17:23.000 Oh my God, are you kidding me?
01:17:24.000 That's a godsend.
01:17:26.000 So we go out...
01:17:27.000 Clouds part.
01:17:28.000 Yes.
01:17:28.000 So on a Saturday night, I take her with me.
01:17:30.000 We're going to this comedy cottage.
01:17:34.000 And I do my set.
01:17:36.000 And there was lots of other new comics like me.
01:17:40.000 And they were like, oh, Jimmy, that was great.
01:17:42.000 It was a big deal.
01:17:43.000 It was a big deal for us.
01:17:44.000 One of our own got on.
01:17:46.000 And in the car ride home, she's not saying anything.
01:17:49.000 And finally, she just turns to me and she goes, you're really going to do this, aren't you?
01:17:55.000 And I go, fuck yes!
01:17:57.000 Did you just see what happened?
01:17:58.000 Of course I'm doing this!
01:17:59.000 What does that mean?
01:18:00.000 She knew that I was going to be a comedian and not married to her.
01:18:04.000 And that's what that meant.
01:18:06.000 Wow!
01:18:07.000 You couldn't be both?
01:18:09.000 Not then.
01:18:10.000 I couldn't get married.
01:18:12.000 Jim Brewer is married to the same girl he's with when I met him.
01:18:16.000 I met Jim in 1991 or 1992. Happy kids, the whole deal.
01:18:23.000 Super happy.
01:18:23.000 She's super nice.
01:18:24.000 So the problem with stand-up comedy is you don't know where you're going to end up.
01:18:27.000 Of course.
01:18:28.000 So when you start, you don't know, can I even do five minutes?
01:18:31.000 And then you're like, well, can I do 15?
01:18:32.000 Can I get paid?
01:18:33.000 Can I do an MC? Can I be consistent?
01:18:35.000 Can I middle?
01:18:35.000 Can I head?
01:18:36.000 You don't know.
01:18:37.000 Can I work in a room?
01:18:38.000 Can I get on TV? You don't know!
01:18:40.000 You don't know.
01:18:40.000 Like, if you go to any other job, you go, well, if you do this, this, and this, then you'll get the promotion, and then you'll get that.
01:18:46.000 You have to meet your number, and then you get, oh, okay, I can meet my number.
01:18:49.000 There's no handbook.
01:18:50.000 Well, not only that, to this day, like, my agent called me to schedule something in New York for November, and I said, I can't.
01:18:59.000 And I said, I'm doing my special in April.
01:19:01.000 I don't know if I'm going to have an hour by November.
01:19:03.000 I assume I will, but I don't know.
01:19:06.000 I go, I'm not going to fuck people over at some big fucking theater and not have an hour yet.
01:19:11.000 I go, I'm going to do my best.
01:19:14.000 But May, June, July, August, September, October, November, seven months.
01:19:18.000 Most likely, I'll have a new hour.
01:19:20.000 Most likely.
01:19:20.000 But what if I only have a half hour?
01:19:23.000 What if I only have a half hour and I fucking bomb?
01:19:25.000 What if I do a half an hour of good comedy, but not the best, and then have nothing?
01:19:31.000 I can't take that risk!
01:19:33.000 Like, when I'm ready, I'll call ya.
01:19:35.000 So, when April rolls around, after I'm done and I chuck everything aside, I'm on a fucking rampage for like three, four months of just doing 10, 15 minute spots, writing a bunch of new shit, and trying to piece together an hour.
01:19:48.000 Then, it's going to take me a month or two to try to sort that hour out.
01:19:52.000 Try to figure out where everything goes and what the punchlines are.
01:19:55.000 Listening to recordings, writing things down, burning the midnight oil late at night.
01:20:00.000 I don't know if I can do it.
01:20:01.000 I mean, I'm assuming I can do it, but once I chuck my act aside, once the act that you saw that you thought was funny, that fucking thing's going in the toilet.
01:20:09.000 It's over.
01:20:10.000 Solver, baby!
01:20:12.000 I'm lucky in the sense that no one saw my last special, so I get to do those jokes.
01:20:16.000 I get to keep doing those jokes.
01:20:17.000 But what about your fans?
01:20:19.000 No, so I did...
01:20:19.000 This is funny, right?
01:20:20.000 So I did two Comedy Central specials, then I did my last one was for Hulu, and it was in, I think, 2015, maybe, or 14, 15?
01:20:28.000 And so because of my YouTube show, I sell tickets now, so people come out.
01:20:33.000 And so I was doing a show maybe six months ago, and I do the opening joke from my special.
01:20:40.000 And it kills.
01:20:42.000 And I go, you motherfuckers, none of you saw my special!
01:20:50.000 And then I was upset for a second, and then I was like, I get to do those jokes again!
01:20:54.000 Oh, that's hilarious.
01:20:55.000 So I'm going to do my own special and put it on my own thing, because I don't know where that even, like that Hulu special, it lives on Hulu somewhere.
01:21:03.000 Is Hulu still a thing?
01:21:04.000 It's still a thing, right?
01:21:05.000 Hulu's still a thing.
01:21:06.000 Right, I'm thinking of CISO. CISO's not a thing anymore.
01:21:08.000 Yeah, I don't know.
01:21:08.000 CISO went under.
01:21:09.000 Yeah.
01:21:10.000 That's where Stan Hope had a special, Diaz had a special.
01:21:12.000 Oh, really?
01:21:13.000 Yeah, a bunch of guys who were really funny people had specials on CISO, and now CISO is not, it doesn't exist.
01:21:20.000 Oh, yeah.
01:21:20.000 I've heard about that going under.
01:21:22.000 Yeah.
01:21:22.000 They've tried it a bunch.
01:21:23.000 The CISO was a Sony thing, right?
01:21:26.000 Wasn't it?
01:21:26.000 Or was it NBC? I thought it was NBC. NBC. I think you're right.
01:21:29.000 Yeah.
01:21:29.000 Now, like, Sony had Crackle, right?
01:21:32.000 That's just such a funny...
01:21:33.000 Remember they had Crackle?
01:21:34.000 I was thinking that Paul F. Tompkins bit about Crackle.
01:21:36.000 What did they call Crackle?
01:21:37.000 I can't remember how it went, but it was...
01:21:38.000 Oh, if they called Crackle?
01:21:39.000 Crackle, it would be...
01:21:40.000 That'd be cute.
01:21:41.000 It's so funny.
01:21:42.000 I can't remember how it goes, but it's so funny.
01:21:46.000 Yeah, well, there's not enough venues.
01:21:48.000 Are you happier now?
01:21:49.000 I've got to tell you, I was happier before.
01:21:51.000 What do you mean?
01:21:52.000 I was happier when my whole life was ahead of me, and when I first started hanging out at Largo and doing sets at the Improv and meeting all my heroes in comedy, to me, that was...
01:22:03.000 Ahead of your time.
01:22:04.000 Now it's like I feel pressure to stay where I'm at or be successful.
01:22:10.000 I don't know what it is I feel, but I feel like I'm working too hard and I'm not able to enjoy what I've accomplished.
01:22:16.000 And that's why I've been trying to, like I told you, you showed me that tank.
01:22:20.000 I've been trying to figure out how to stop my thoughts.
01:22:22.000 You can come in the tank anytime you want.
01:22:24.000 No, don't come in the tank.
01:22:26.000 Because people do do that.
01:22:28.000 There's a tank center out near Pasadena.
01:22:30.000 You told me in Pasadena.
01:22:31.000 I'll go ahead.
01:22:32.000 A giant place.
01:22:33.000 Find out the name of that place.
01:22:34.000 Give them a shout out.
01:22:35.000 The Float Lab in Venice is my spot.
01:22:38.000 That's the spot that built my tank.
01:22:39.000 They have a place in Westwood, and they are the best in the world.
01:22:42.000 And they actually supply the tanks to the place in Pasadena.
01:22:45.000 The guy who put this, my friend Crash, who put it in our studio...
01:22:48.000 Just Float.
01:22:49.000 Just Float is the place in Pasadena and I'm pretty sure it's the largest float center in the world.
01:22:54.000 So does that help you stop thinking?
01:22:56.000 No, the opposite.
01:22:57.000 I think in there, but I relax.
01:22:59.000 It's very relaxing physically because the water is warm and you float and you can do it after the show if you want.
01:23:05.000 I got another show that goes till 2 if you want.
01:23:08.000 Okay.
01:23:08.000 You totally can.
01:23:09.000 Thank you for the offer.
01:23:10.000 Let me think about it.
01:23:11.000 You would be the second person outside of me to be in there.
01:23:13.000 Dan Harris from ABC Good Morning America is the only other guy that's been in there.
01:23:17.000 Dan is a big meditation proponent.
01:23:20.000 So I try meditating and it just hurts my back and...
01:23:23.000 Oh, well that will be really good for your back because you become weightless.
01:23:26.000 You just float in there.
01:23:27.000 And the water's the same temperature as the surface of your skin so you don't feel the water after a while.
01:23:32.000 And you're in total darkness and total silence and you just chill out in there, man.
01:23:36.000 It feels good.
01:23:38.000 I love it.
01:23:38.000 I gotta do it.
01:23:39.000 I gotta do something.
01:23:40.000 You know...
01:23:43.000 I heard this thing by Alan Watts, and he talked about how we know how to prepare for life.
01:23:50.000 We don't know how to enjoy life once it gets here.
01:23:53.000 You've got to get good at that, man.
01:23:54.000 That's something that you really need to concentrate on.
01:23:58.000 I know you're doing really well right now, and I'm a fan of yours, so when you say you're not happy, that bums me out.
01:24:05.000 I'm stressed.
01:24:06.000 Yeah, well, you've got to figure out a way to enjoy this thing.
01:24:09.000 I know, that's why I'm stressed.
01:24:10.000 You've got to be more silly.
01:24:10.000 Do you smoke weed?
01:24:11.000 Yes.
01:24:12.000 Yeah, we'll smoke a little bit more.
01:24:14.000 Just enjoy it a little bit more.
01:24:16.000 I like smoking weed in the morning and now I can't because I have to fucking do stuff all day.
01:24:21.000 Oh, you definitely can.
01:24:22.000 Yeah, you definitely trust me.
01:24:24.000 It can be done.
01:24:26.000 But then I can't do anything.
01:24:28.000 You can.
01:24:28.000 No, you can.
01:24:30.000 Do you exercise?
01:24:31.000 No, I can't exercise.
01:24:32.000 That's my problem.
01:24:33.000 I used to be athletic.
01:24:34.000 I used to love sports.
01:24:35.000 You can't at all because of your gallbladder?
01:24:36.000 No, because of my bones.
01:24:37.000 Because of your bones?
01:24:37.000 Every once in a while I'll forget.
01:24:39.000 Could you do yoga or anything?
01:24:41.000 No.
01:24:41.000 My doctor told me don't.
01:24:42.000 Don't do anything, your doctor said.
01:24:44.000 He told me to swim.
01:24:45.000 Oh, that's nice.
01:24:46.000 Swimming's great.
01:24:47.000 So he said I could swim.
01:24:48.000 Oh, okay.
01:24:50.000 So, I like swimming, man.
01:24:53.000 I like getting high in swimming.
01:24:54.000 Oh, okay.
01:24:55.000 Yeah, it feels good.
01:24:56.000 But you can't ever exercise, like lifting weights or anything along those lines, because of your bone issue?
01:25:03.000 But I would think that lifting weights would enhance your bone density.
01:25:09.000 It just hurts.
01:25:10.000 That's why I can't.
01:25:11.000 I can't even pick up a suitcase, really.
01:25:13.000 Really?
01:25:14.000 Fuck, man.
01:25:15.000 I forget often, and I will, and then fuck, and then my back hurts for the whole day.
01:25:19.000 Your back.
01:25:20.000 So, yeah, because anyway, but it's about becoming present.
01:25:26.000 And let me listen to this guy, Eckhart Tolle.
01:25:28.000 Do you know who he is?
01:25:29.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:25:29.000 Power of Now.
01:25:30.000 I read that book.
01:25:31.000 Oh, did you?
01:25:32.000 Yeah.
01:25:33.000 So that is really getting me...
01:25:35.000 Is he still alive?
01:25:37.000 Yeah.
01:25:37.000 Yeah.
01:25:38.000 Yeah.
01:25:38.000 So that's really getting me...
01:25:39.000 You know, when things frustrate you...
01:25:42.000 I love what he says.
01:25:42.000 He goes, the world isn't here to make you happy.
01:25:44.000 It's here to frustrate you so you wake up.
01:25:48.000 Oh, I'm like, oh, so now you can use your frustrations as reminders to wake up.
01:25:54.000 And it's hard, because I have a temper, and that's the weird thing.
01:26:01.000 Now I hid my temper and my anger through my stand-up, and I was successful.
01:26:07.000 I had specials and everything, but now I don't hide it, and now I'm selling tickets, right?
01:26:12.000 Because that's their ultimate goal, is if you can sell tickets, then you don't need anybody.
01:26:15.000 Yeah.
01:26:16.000 But I don't know why, it seems like there's some sort of internal conflict between you getting angry and ranting and talking about things that are very important to you and then going on stage and doing stand-up.
01:26:27.000 I don't think that they should be mutually exclusive.
01:26:30.000 No, I'm trying to bring them together now.
01:26:31.000 My wife would always tell me, you gotta rant on your stand-up set.
01:26:35.000 You gotta rant.
01:26:35.000 You gotta get angry.
01:26:36.000 And I was like, okay, and I would never really do it.
01:26:39.000 Well, you just got to balance it out.
01:26:41.000 Just got to find out a way to make that rant funny, and then, you know, find perspectives that are relatable, where you go into this rant, but then bring it to these people in a digestible way, you know?
01:26:52.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:26:54.000 What's happening is I'm showing videos now at my live shows, and those get me into that groove.
01:27:01.000 And I just dropped a video...
01:27:02.000 What kind of videos?
01:27:03.000 Like, I just dropped a video about...
01:27:05.000 I did a live show at the Flappers in Burbank and I showed a video of Keith Olbermann apologizing to John McCain and George Bush on The View.
01:27:15.000 What?
01:27:16.000 Yeah.
01:27:17.000 What is that?
01:27:18.000 I don't know.
01:27:20.000 He was talking to Meghan McCain.
01:27:22.000 Is this recently?
01:27:23.000 This was a couple months ago.
01:27:24.000 Is he going crazy?
01:27:25.000 Because he retired from that show that he was doing in a basement.
01:27:28.000 So Trump excites the lizard brain of a certain kind of neoliberal, and Olbermann's certainly one of those guys.
01:27:34.000 He pretends all the problems in our country started on January 2017, and that's certainly not it.
01:27:40.000 Like, he was great.
01:27:40.000 He could deconstruct what was wrong with Hillary Clinton back in 2008 when she was running against Barack Obama.
01:27:46.000 And he could deconstruct what was wrong with the Iraq war and what was wrong with Bush and Cheney.
01:27:50.000 But I don't know, somehow, all of a sudden now, it's like, again, Trump excites his lizard brain, and all his critical thinking skills go out the window, and he pretends that Trump is the problem and not a symptom of the problem.
01:28:03.000 Well, it was like a scene in a movie when he was doing that.
01:28:05.000 It looked like he was doing a show in the basement somewhere with this weird background.
01:28:10.000 It was called The Resistance.
01:28:11.000 This is The Resistance.
01:28:13.000 But he was also, he didn't, wasn't making connections.
01:28:16.000 Like, was that really pretty conservative girl, Tammy Lauren, is that her name?
01:28:24.000 She did a thing where she was covered in the American flag and he was talking about how hypocritical it is to be standing there holding and draping yourself in the American flag and then Donald Trump Jr. posts a picture of Tammy Lauren right next to him doing the same thing and Donald Trump Jr. says it must be painful to be so stupid.
01:28:47.000 Well, I don't even understand how he could have not known he took that picture to be saying that.
01:28:51.000 He's draped in it.
01:28:52.000 Yes.
01:28:52.000 Like, how could he not know that he took that picture?
01:28:54.000 So he admitted on...
01:28:56.000 He's so smart!
01:28:57.000 Well, that's the thing...
01:28:58.000 When you listen to him, he's incredibly articulate.
01:29:00.000 I love the skill in which he writes and performs things.
01:29:04.000 He's a great broadcaster?
01:29:05.000 Yes!
01:29:05.000 I mean, I was just...
01:29:07.000 Keith Orman, that's the whole thing.
01:29:08.000 I was a huge fan!
01:29:09.000 Yeah, and he's great with sports.
01:29:11.000 I mean, he's got this sort of old-schooly type delivery that I enjoy.
01:29:15.000 He's a great broadcaster, and you always hear stories about his idiosyncrasies like he's a prick to work with and stuff, and you go, well, fuck, what are you going to do?
01:29:22.000 So who cares?
01:29:23.000 I don't work with him.
01:29:23.000 I want to watch him.
01:29:25.000 Right?
01:29:25.000 Well, that's the truth with a lot of people that are...
01:29:28.000 Apparently, one of the things about being great at something is a lot of it, you're fucking fanatical about it.
01:29:34.000 Yeah.
01:29:34.000 You get crazy.
01:29:34.000 Yes.
01:29:35.000 You get completely obsessed.
01:29:36.000 And something is imbalanced.
01:29:38.000 And you're rigid.
01:29:38.000 Yeah.
01:29:38.000 Your people skills are out the window because you're so completely concentrated on something else.
01:29:43.000 Yes.
01:29:44.000 So he apologized.
01:29:48.000 He said that Donald Trump was worse than 9-11, and Meghan McCain said, do you really believe that?
01:29:53.000 And his big comeback to that was, your father was my favorite political figure of the 21st century.
01:29:58.000 And I'm like, really?
01:29:59.000 Who was the second?
01:30:00.000 Bernie Madoff?
01:30:00.000 Are you fucking kidding me?
01:30:02.000 John McCain's a warmonger who thrust Sarah Palin on us?
01:30:06.000 Who was playing poker while they were trying to decide the fate of lives.
01:30:10.000 Remember that?
01:30:11.000 Yeah.
01:30:11.000 No.
01:30:12.000 Do you remember that thing?
01:30:13.000 Where John McCain, they were in the middle of...
01:30:15.000 What was the exact scenario?
01:30:18.000 They were in the middle of some meeting in the Senate, and they were deciding something incredibly important, and they busted McCain playing poker on Syria.
01:30:26.000 No fault.
01:30:26.000 Syria.
01:30:27.000 Yeah, it was about bombing Syria.
01:30:28.000 Look at this.
01:30:29.000 Because he's four.
01:30:29.000 He doesn't need to hear...
01:30:31.000 But look.
01:30:31.000 There he is.
01:30:32.000 Playing poker.
01:30:34.000 War games.
01:30:34.000 McCain caught playing poker on iPhone during Syria debate.
01:30:38.000 Just fucking imagine...
01:30:40.000 The type of person that could do that.
01:30:42.000 You're in the middle of talking about dropping bombs.
01:30:46.000 That are going to kill people.
01:30:47.000 Yeah, they're absolutely going to kill people.
01:30:49.000 They're going to come flying out of fucking high-speed jets.
01:30:52.000 Yeah.
01:30:52.000 And he's there playing poker.
01:30:53.000 This is boring.
01:30:54.000 I need to find out if I can get another ace!
01:30:57.000 Ace in the hole, baby!
01:30:59.000 Up my sleeve!
01:31:00.000 Suck on it!
01:31:01.000 So this is what I'm...
01:31:03.000 And he called Rand Paul a Putin puppet because he was against Ukraine joining NATO. I mean, that's what John...
01:31:08.000 That kind of shit John McCain...
01:31:09.000 John McCain, you know, there might be...
01:31:11.000 I said this at a live show.
01:31:13.000 I go, I don't disrespect his service.
01:31:14.000 Nobody disrespects his service except the President of the United States.
01:31:17.000 Except Trump.
01:31:18.000 Which was the craziest thing ever.
01:31:19.000 I like people who don't get caught.
01:31:21.000 I was like, how the fuck can you say that?
01:31:23.000 So much of the shit that he has said just bounces off of him.
01:31:26.000 I was at the comedy store the other night, and somebody was trying to say that that Stormy Weathers chick, is that her name?
01:31:32.000 Stormy Weathers?
01:31:34.000 Stormy Daniels.
01:31:34.000 Sorry, sorry, Stormy.
01:31:35.000 I thought it was Weathers, too.
01:31:38.000 Who the fuck was saying it?
01:31:40.000 Who the fuck was saying it?
01:31:41.000 I forget who said it.
01:31:42.000 But they were saying, oh, she's our Monica Lewinsky.
01:31:46.000 And I was like, what the fuck are you talking about?
01:31:48.000 Who's our Monica Lewinsky?
01:31:49.000 That Stormy Daniels is gonna tank Donald Trump.
01:31:52.000 I'm like, you're out of your fucking mind.
01:31:53.000 I go, it's gonna go right off his skin like a water on a duck.
01:31:56.000 It's not even going to affect him.
01:31:57.000 At all!
01:31:58.000 He's going to say, fake news, never happened.
01:32:00.000 He's going to keep moving, and that's going to be the end of it.
01:32:03.000 And he's like, no fucking way.
01:32:04.000 He's going to get in trouble for that.
01:32:06.000 I'm like, no, he's not.
01:32:07.000 It's not going to be anything.
01:32:08.000 You don't understand all the things that he's done so far.
01:32:10.000 Grab him by the pussy, all these different things.
01:32:12.000 It's like Charlie Sheen.
01:32:13.000 I read an article once that said, when is the Me Too movement going to hit Charlie Sheen?
01:32:17.000 I'll answer that.
01:32:18.000 Fucking never.
01:32:19.000 You know why?
01:32:19.000 Because you can't shame someone who doesn't have any shame.
01:32:23.000 Right.
01:32:23.000 It doesn't work.
01:32:24.000 That's it.
01:32:24.000 If someone's not embarrassed, you cannot embarrass them.
01:32:27.000 Right.
01:32:28.000 You know?
01:32:28.000 I mean, if someone says to you, hey, Jimmy Dore, what are you, a fucking comedian?
01:32:31.000 You're like, yeah, I'm a comedian.
01:32:33.000 Yeah.
01:32:33.000 People call me dumb.
01:32:34.000 Yeah.
01:32:34.000 I'm like, I call myself dumb.
01:32:36.000 Yeah.
01:32:36.000 That's not going to get me.
01:32:37.000 That doesn't bother me.
01:32:38.000 Yeah.
01:32:38.000 You need something more than that.
01:32:40.000 Charlie Shun, what are you, a fucking whoremonger?
01:32:42.000 Yeah.
01:32:42.000 Yeah.
01:32:43.000 Yeah, that's what I do.
01:32:44.000 It's well documented.
01:32:45.000 I smoke crack and I bang whores.
01:32:46.000 Any other questions?
01:32:47.000 I gotta go bang whores and smoke crack.
01:32:49.000 I don't have time for this.
01:32:50.000 I have HIV. Gotta go.
01:32:54.000 It's not gonna work.
01:32:56.000 You know, Charlie Sheen is out there doing terrible things to women.
01:32:59.000 Yeah, he pays them.
01:33:00.000 That's what he does with all that fucking two and a half men money.
01:33:03.000 That's how I always felt about being a comedian.
01:33:05.000 Like, I don't play by...
01:33:08.000 You don't get to judge me.
01:33:09.000 I fucking judge you.
01:33:11.000 Whoa, you're very aggressive.
01:33:12.000 Look at that.
01:33:13.000 Pointing and shit?
01:33:14.000 I never advocated for a war like the Washington Post, New York Times, MSNBC, and CNN. You're going to judge me over some fucking thing I said or did?
01:33:23.000 I never advocated for a war.
01:33:25.000 I never fired a guy who was speaking out against a war like MSNBC did in the New York Times.
01:33:30.000 Who did MSNBC fire?
01:33:31.000 Phil Donahue.
01:33:32.000 Phil Downey had the number one show on the network at the time, and they fired him because he was against the Iraq war.
01:33:37.000 That's your MSNBC. Is that really why they fired him?
01:33:39.000 And the first time Rachel Maddow or Chris Hayes says anything that costs MSNBC a nickel, they will be fucking fired.
01:33:45.000 Just like, and that's why they don't.
01:33:47.000 They don't.
01:33:47.000 And they're paid $30,000 a workday.
01:33:51.000 Really?
01:33:52.000 Yeah.
01:33:52.000 That's what she gets?
01:33:53.000 A workday.
01:33:54.000 Powerful Rachel Maddow.
01:33:55.000 Yeah.
01:33:55.000 Do you like her?
01:33:56.000 I used to think she was just like Heath Olbermann.
01:33:59.000 They were fantastic.
01:33:59.000 And then Trump excites their lizard brain and she's lost her mind.
01:34:02.000 She's pushing a fucking red scare and McCarthyism.
01:34:04.000 And she should be ashamed.
01:34:05.000 She should be shunned.
01:34:07.000 Do you think that she's doing that rationally?
01:34:10.000 Do you think that she is confused?
01:34:12.000 I've seen her completely...
01:34:14.000 Or do you think that she is being coerced and pushed into that certain direction?
01:34:18.000 I think she's being coerced and pushed, but I think she goes along willingly and...
01:34:22.000 Because she's getting that 30k a day.
01:34:24.000 She's not going to talk out against...
01:34:25.000 Just make a t-shirt.
01:34:26.000 30k a day.
01:34:27.000 30k a day, I will.
01:34:27.000 And you can have your way.
01:34:30.000 I mention it all the time on my show.
01:34:32.000 Can I steal that phrase?
01:34:33.000 Yeah, it's a good phrase.
01:34:34.000 Okay, I think I may make...
01:34:35.000 30k a day and you can have your way.
01:34:38.000 The real problem is neoliberalism, Joe.
01:34:40.000 The real problem is the system, and they'll never talk about that.
01:34:44.000 Well, it's also tribalism, right?
01:34:45.000 Anything that opposes the other side must be good, right?
01:34:48.000 And anything you can use on them must be good.
01:34:51.000 Well, that's what's happening right now with Trump.
01:34:52.000 Yes.
01:34:53.000 And it's disgusting.
01:34:54.000 It's like there's a way to oppose Trump, and it's not the way you're doing it.
01:34:57.000 In fact, the way they're doing it enhances Trump.
01:35:00.000 It makes him more powerful.
01:35:01.000 You keep coming at him that, oh, his guy with the battered wife, he gives a...
01:35:07.000 Meanwhile, they're spending $160 billion more on bombs that nobody wants.
01:35:12.000 Meanwhile, half the country's poor or low-income, 63% of Americans can't afford a $1,000 emergency in the richest country the face of the earth has ever seen.
01:35:19.000 All the benefits of this recovery has gone to the upper 1%.
01:35:23.000 People haven't had a raise.
01:35:25.000 You know, I just saw the AFL-CIO, you know, so like I was telling you, people give me shit because I wouldn't vote for Hillary Clinton, right?
01:35:30.000 And I just saw the...
01:35:33.000 The AFL-CIO tweeted out last week that the unions have helped give Democrats complete control of government four times in the last three decades, and they have done nothing to help unions.
01:35:47.000 And they're saying vote third party.
01:35:49.000 They got together with the teachers union and the postal union, and they're like, hey, lesser of evil voting isn't working.
01:35:55.000 We have to somehow come up with a third party.
01:35:58.000 So they're talking about it now.
01:35:59.000 So people who are wagging their finger at me, I go, hey, even the unions agree with me now that we've got to have a third party.
01:36:05.000 And if Bernie Sanders would have went with a third party instead of propping up that corporatist warmonger like he did, he could have really changed politics in America.
01:36:12.000 If Jill Stein and the Green Party would have got 10 or 15 percent of the vote or even 5 percent of the vote, it would have completely changed politics in America because now the Democrats, they wag their finger at their base and then they move to the right.
01:36:24.000 Like Hillary Clinton wagged her finger at the base and then picked Tim Kaine, who was to the right of her.
01:36:29.000 Right?
01:36:30.000 And so if Bernie Sanders would have went with the Greens and they would have made a showing, now they can't do that.
01:36:34.000 They can't dismiss them anymore.
01:36:36.000 Now they have to come together in a coalition.
01:36:38.000 But she was doing it in a calculated manner to try to get some Republicans that thought that Donald Trump was repulsive.
01:36:44.000 Oh no, Hillary Clinton, their whole strategy was, we're fuck over working people and we're going to try to get white-collar Republicans.
01:36:49.000 Yeah.
01:36:50.000 That's not what your party is.
01:36:51.000 There's already a party for those people.
01:36:53.000 There's a party that's called the Republican Party.
01:36:55.000 You're supposed to be the party of fucking workers.
01:36:57.000 And that's why we don't have an opposition party in this country, Joe.
01:37:00.000 And we have two parties that are pro-management.
01:37:03.000 You know that Nissan?
01:37:04.000 Nissan has 49 plants around the world.
01:37:07.000 Three of them are not union.
01:37:08.000 You know where those three plants are?
01:37:10.000 United States.
01:37:10.000 In the United fucking states.
01:37:11.000 So we got a broken system, right?
01:37:14.000 The problem is the Democrats are bought by the same people.
01:37:17.000 They're just a little, you know, and people go, why did the Democrats keep caving?
01:37:21.000 Why didn't they stand up against Trump for DACA? They're not caving.
01:37:25.000 They're standing up to you, the voter, and they're standing up to their donors.
01:37:29.000 Their donors don't want the government shut down for one minute, and that's what they're standing up for.
01:37:33.000 They could have stood up for the voters and stood up for DACA, but they didn't.
01:37:37.000 They stood up for their donors.
01:37:39.000 So it's not like they're spineless.
01:37:40.000 They appear spineless because it looks like they're not doing what they're supposed to or they're not, and they're not doing what they said they would do, which is stand up for the people, but they're secretly standing up for their donors.
01:37:51.000 They have a steel spine when it comes to their donors, which is why they just gave Trump $160 billion.
01:37:57.000 Can I make one last point about Donald Trump?
01:38:00.000 So this shows you how they're full of shit.
01:38:02.000 When you say Donald Trump is an existential threat to our country and a maniac and he has his finger on the button, and then you vote to give him $160 billion more in bombs, I think you're full of shit when you say he's an existential maniac.
01:38:15.000 If you say that this guy is unhinged and you can't be trusted, and then you vote to expand his warrantless wiretapping and spying powers on his own enemies in the country, that's what I know and you're full of shit.
01:38:26.000 Because if they really wanted to check Trump, they would check him on the military, the Pentagon budget, and his spying powers.
01:38:31.000 They've expanded all that stuff.
01:38:33.000 So if he's really a maniac, those motherfuckers are the most irresponsible people in the world giving him all this extra power for the Pentagon and spying.
01:38:40.000 But they'd know.
01:38:41.000 The only reason they hate Trump is because he ain't part of their fucking club.
01:38:44.000 Ooh, Jimmy Dore just laid it down.
01:38:48.000 Now, you're going to get hate mail from people that are Hillary Clinton supporters.
01:38:51.000 It's going to come.
01:38:52.000 I hope you're ready.
01:38:52.000 Yeah, but getting it since 2016. The thing that always killed me about Hillary Clinton more when I would talk to super Democrats, like people that were just completely tribal, they're on the Democratic side no matter what, I'd go, you know, she didn't support gay marriage until 2013. She was the last one!
01:39:08.000 Yeah.
01:39:08.000 You know, there was a sexual harasser on her campaign in 2008, and she didn't fire the fucking guy.
01:39:12.000 In fact, she covered for him, and then he went on to sexually harass again in another organization tied to Hillary Clinton, correct the record.
01:39:19.000 Yeah.
01:39:19.000 Well, the problem is, I think, when you're close to her, you find out all the dirty details, what's going on behind the scenes, and it's just a creepy, creepy organization.
01:39:28.000 She was such a flawed person for feminists to wrap their flag around.
01:39:34.000 She's not the person.
01:39:35.000 There was another woman running in that race, and it was Jill Stein.
01:39:38.000 I voted for her.
01:39:39.000 Nobody cared about her, though.
01:39:40.000 It was a weird one.
01:39:41.000 It was because Trump, it was exactly what Hillary Clinton wanted, the Pied Piper strategy.
01:39:45.000 You can't even entertain not voting for Hillary Clinton because of this existential threat of Trump, and he's such an existential threat, we're going to vote to expand his spying powers and give him a below the military budget.
01:39:55.000 Well, it was all this hashtag I'm with her stuff, too, where they wanted to have one female president.
01:40:00.000 It would be a historical victory.
01:40:02.000 That's why so many people were crying on television.
01:40:03.000 I get that.
01:40:04.000 Because they were watching an Avengers movie.
01:40:06.000 They weren't really involved in the actual political process itself.
01:40:09.000 They didn't understand what was happening, and they didn't understand who she really was.
01:40:13.000 That's it.
01:40:14.000 I mean, from the beginning to the end, if you go and there's just so much evidence.
01:40:17.000 You remember that off-camera interview where she was talking about Gaddafi?
01:40:20.000 We came, we saw, he died!
01:40:22.000 Ha ha ha!
01:40:23.000 She's laughing.
01:40:24.000 That's a psychopath.
01:40:25.000 What kind of a person is that?
01:40:26.000 That's a crazy person.
01:40:27.000 And now Libya is a failed state.
01:40:29.000 It's a failed state.
01:40:29.000 Exactly.
01:40:29.000 It's a failed state.
01:40:30.000 It's a haven.
01:40:31.000 Terrifying place.
01:40:31.000 Haven for terrorists.
01:40:32.000 Slavery is back.
01:40:33.000 Yes.
01:40:33.000 Did you see that shit?
01:40:34.000 Yes.
01:40:35.000 On YouTube, you can watch slave trade in Libya.
01:40:39.000 That's her success story.
01:40:41.000 Yeah, it's horrific.
01:40:43.000 But let me ask you a question, Joe.
01:40:46.000 One of my big things is the reason why I have a show is because mainstream news media sucks so bad, and the reason why you have this show is because late-night talk shows suck so bad, right?
01:40:57.000 Well, they're stuck.
01:40:59.000 They have commercials.
01:41:00.000 You know, they have these things that they do, and they have tied in production.
01:41:03.000 But they would never have this conversation.
01:41:04.000 No.
01:41:05.000 Someone would come in, Jimmy, Joe, listen, you can't.
01:41:09.000 This is not the time for this.
01:41:10.000 You guys want to talk about this in your own time?
01:41:13.000 It's not the time.
01:41:14.000 There's a lot of Hillary supporters on staff, and they're very upset right now, and they feel that you guys are misogynists.
01:41:19.000 Did you see Jimmy Fallon?
01:41:20.000 No.
01:41:21.000 I don't know Jimmy Fallon, and I've only bumped into him, and he's always been a gentleman.
01:41:25.000 He's a very nice guy.
01:41:25.000 A gentleman and a nice guy, and nothing bad to say about Jimmy Fallon.
01:41:30.000 But they did a segment where they had Hillary Clinton on and his writers came out and they all wrote thank you notes.
01:41:37.000 And they read them to Hillary Clinton.
01:41:39.000 And at first I'm like, this is going to be hilarious.
01:41:41.000 And then it wasn't.
01:41:42.000 It was actually, sincerely, they were thanking her.
01:41:44.000 For what?
01:41:46.000 For being a woman and running for fucking bread.
01:41:49.000 The fact you guys shot him and left his wallet and his watch there, that was amazing.
01:41:54.000 That was a botched robbery, Joe.
01:41:56.000 Oh yeah, sure.
01:41:57.000 Four o'clock in the morning.
01:41:58.000 No one took anything from him.
01:42:00.000 He just happened to leak.
01:42:02.000 Yeah, she called him a fucking hero.
01:42:03.000 Donna Brazile said that that scared her to death.
01:42:05.000 She started pulling the blinds in her office.
01:42:08.000 She should.
01:42:09.000 So now the Washington Post, that's what I wanted to ask you.
01:42:11.000 They wrote a whole thing about how anybody who questions Seth Rich is crazy.
01:42:15.000 Of course.
01:42:15.000 They do that.
01:42:16.000 They make you look like you're a fool because it's a conspiracy theory.
01:42:18.000 And you say conspiracy theory, conspiracy theorist, and you're a whack job.
01:42:23.000 But the Russia thing is one big conspiracy theory.
01:42:26.000 Right.
01:42:26.000 But just put it down on paper.
01:42:27.000 Let's just look at real hard facts.
01:42:30.000 Seth Rich was a Bernie Sanders supporter.
01:42:34.000 Seth Rich was a patriot.
01:42:35.000 Seth Rich, according to Julian Assange and WikiLeaks, which have not been proven to be liars...
01:42:40.000 Never had to retract anything they printed.
01:42:41.000 Right.
01:42:41.000 They've never had to do that.
01:42:43.000 He's saying that he leaked stuff to him.
01:42:46.000 There are consequences leaking stuff to WikiLeaks.
01:42:48.000 Seth Rich was murdered at 4 o'clock in the morning, shot in the back.
01:42:52.000 They said it was a boss robbery, but no one took anything from him, and there's never been anyone that's charged with it, and there's no suspects.
01:42:59.000 I don't know.
01:43:00.000 I don't know what happened to him.
01:43:01.000 But that looks very suspicious.
01:43:03.000 Well, you're not even allowed to ask questions because I covered that story one day.
01:43:07.000 I covered it one day because that guy Wheeler came out and he was saying he saw the computer and all this stuff.
01:43:12.000 So I covered that.
01:43:14.000 Right.
01:43:14.000 And you're a piece of shit.
01:43:15.000 You're a conspiracy theorist.
01:43:16.000 In that video I did, I literally said...
01:43:21.000 I don't know if this is true.
01:43:22.000 We're waiting for evidence.
01:43:24.000 Unlike the mainstream news media with their Russia bullshit, we're going to wait for evidence.
01:43:28.000 I literally said that inside that.
01:43:30.000 And then the next day I did another video which debunked that guy Wheeler who was pushing that story because he turned out he was full of shit.
01:43:38.000 So what was the response though?
01:43:39.000 People still to this day.
01:43:42.000 Fuckin' smear me with that.
01:43:43.000 They go, oh, you pushed the...
01:43:44.000 I go, I covered...
01:43:45.000 I would do a new show.
01:43:46.000 I covered a new show.
01:43:47.000 By the way, why aren't you allowed to ask questions about an open murder investigation?
01:43:51.000 Well, not only that, this is a real...
01:43:53.000 Look, this is a guy who is a real Bernie Sanders supporter.
01:43:57.000 Open Bernie Sanders supporter who worked for the DNC. The DNC absolutely rigged the primary against Bernie Sanders.
01:44:03.000 He was aware of this.
01:44:04.000 He was there while this was all going down.
01:44:06.000 So was Donna Brazile.
01:44:07.000 Everyone was aware of it.
01:44:08.000 The guy got fucking murdered, After he leaked information to WikiLeaks.
01:44:12.000 If you don't think that's a little weird, what are you looking at?
01:44:15.000 What delusional rose-colored glasses are you looking at your party from?
01:44:20.000 You think you're in some Julia Roberts movie from 1990?
01:44:22.000 This is real shit.
01:44:24.000 Some guy got killed.
01:44:25.000 He was 24 years old.
01:44:27.000 He was a young guy who was very optimistic and had this...
01:44:33.000 View of the world where he...
01:44:35.000 I mean, the guy fucking wore American flag pants and shirt.
01:44:39.000 There's a famous picture of him with a beer on.
01:44:41.000 He's a patriot in a lot of ways.
01:44:43.000 He wanted to be involved in the political process.
01:44:46.000 He was very idealistic.
01:44:49.000 He was probably shattered by finding out that the party that he was working for was corrupting the democratic process.
01:44:55.000 And because I've said this before, you know, I've been accused of helping Donald Trump win by really wacky people online.
01:45:02.000 Like, by pointing out all the flaws of Hillary Clinton.
01:45:04.000 Like, look, man, you can't ignore that shit because you want one side to win.
01:45:09.000 I've talked about all of his flaws, too.
01:45:12.000 There's a lot of flawed human beings who run for president, pretty much all of them.
01:45:16.000 I mean, it's very rare you have someone who's not flawed, extremely flawed, we're all flawed, but extremely flawed, who wants to be the fucking king of the world.
01:45:23.000 It's very rare.
01:45:24.000 Well, you know, not to change subjects, but Barack Obama, everyone thinks is the greatest guy in the world, you know, in contrast to Donald Trump, because he was polite.
01:45:34.000 He's a statesman.
01:45:35.000 He's a very good speaker.
01:45:36.000 He was polite.
01:45:38.000 At the same time, he let cops crack the heads of peaceful protesters that occupy Wall Street all across the country.
01:45:43.000 He said he put on a soft shoe to stand up for unions.
01:45:46.000 He fucked over unions in Wisconsin when they took a teacher's union away.
01:45:49.000 He opened the Arctic to drilling twice.
01:45:52.000 Whenever Shell Oil wanted, he said okay.
01:45:54.000 And he only closed it when they didn't want to do it anymore.
01:45:56.000 He took us from two wars to seven.
01:45:58.000 He cooked out 5.1 million families out of their homes instead of helping them.
01:46:02.000 And he made Wall Street whole while fucking over everybody else.
01:46:07.000 And he made the Bush tax cuts permanent.
01:46:09.000 So what they say is that it looked like it was change on the outside, continuity on the inside.
01:46:15.000 Well, the Hope and Change website had to be altered because there was all these things in there about whistleblowers.
01:46:20.000 And then he prosecuted them.
01:46:21.000 Exactly.
01:46:22.000 But he took it out of the website.
01:46:25.000 Right.
01:46:25.000 He had all these sections in the website about offering protection for whistleblowers.
01:46:29.000 And also, they were like the worst when it came to the press.
01:46:34.000 Yes.
01:46:35.000 Yes, when it came to the press and freedom of the press and people getting in trouble for leaking information, they were the worst.
01:46:43.000 The worst, much worse than Bruch.
01:46:45.000 They used the Espionage Act to prosecute journalists.
01:46:49.000 Yes.
01:46:50.000 And that's a fact.
01:46:51.000 And everyone turned their head.
01:46:52.000 You know, Glenn Greenwald used to be a hero on the left until he started telling the truth about Barack Obama, and now he's a pariah.
01:46:58.000 So, to the people on, you know, Thomas Frank, I don't know if you know, you would love that guy if you ever met him.
01:47:04.000 He wrote that book called What's the Matter with Kansas, which is examining what's wrong with conservatives, and then he wrote a book called Listen Liberal.
01:47:12.000 Which came out, I think, two years ago.
01:47:14.000 And he is persona non grata on MSNBC, CNN. Nobody will talk to him, because he critiqued the left.
01:47:20.000 He stepped out of line.
01:47:21.000 There's no room for discourse.
01:47:23.000 He can't even get a job in the United States.
01:47:25.000 He has to write for The Guardian in England.
01:47:28.000 That's hilarious.
01:47:28.000 That's a true story.
01:47:28.000 So I've had him on my show.
01:47:30.000 People love him.
01:47:30.000 And he comes out and he tells the truth about the left.
01:47:33.000 Thomas Frank?
01:47:34.000 Thomas Frank.
01:47:35.000 And he's got a great sense of humor, too.
01:47:36.000 And he's real personable.
01:47:38.000 And he's an academic, but he doesn't talk like one.
01:47:42.000 And his book is, Listen Liberal is what radicalized me to not be able to vote for Hillary Clinton.
01:47:48.000 It opened my eyes to all the, you know, people still fucking blame Ralph Nader.
01:47:53.000 It's just unbelievable.
01:47:54.000 Like, you're allowed to participate in fucking democracy.
01:47:57.000 And Hillary Clinton was the only candidate in the history of politics who wasn't expected to garner votes by campaigning.
01:48:04.000 You just were supposed to owe her your fucking votes.
01:48:06.000 If she doesn't have the votes, you're supposed to go get the fucking votes.
01:48:09.000 That's how it works.
01:48:10.000 It's the first time ever I've ever seen people...
01:48:12.000 She was of poor health.
01:48:13.000 It's voter shame.
01:48:14.000 She was having a really hard time doing what she was doing.
01:48:15.000 Donna Brazile almost wanted to replace her.
01:48:17.000 She said in the book, Donna Brazile said her health was so bad, they wanted to replace her.
01:48:21.000 That was another thing that I got in Me too!
01:48:38.000 Many times.
01:48:38.000 I go in the sauna all the time.
01:48:39.000 I never faint, okay?
01:48:41.000 And I don't want to run for president.
01:48:42.000 Listen, you can't just fall asleep while you're standing up and be president.
01:48:46.000 That's not in the books.
01:48:48.000 I have a joke about it in my act.
01:48:50.000 I was like, if that was my mom, I'd be like, Mom, you can't be president.
01:48:53.000 You can't stand up fast.
01:48:57.000 I mean, it's true.
01:48:59.000 If Hillary couldn't stood up fast, her eyes would roll back behind her head and she'd fucking crack her head off the linoleum.
01:49:04.000 That's just a fact.
01:49:05.000 But if you say that, you're a misogynist, you're alt-right, I've been called alt-right for that, like you're helping Donald Trump win.
01:49:15.000 You're helping Trump.
01:49:15.000 This Seth Rich thing is a real symptom, and the ignoring of that case is a real symptom of what is wrong with this toxic tribalism.
01:49:25.000 You can't discuss it.
01:49:26.000 Listen, that's crazy that you're even talking about it.
01:49:28.000 I can't believe that you talk about it so openly.
01:49:30.000 People don't try to discredit you because of this?
01:49:32.000 It doesn't matter.
01:49:33.000 You can't.
01:49:34.000 What do I do?
01:49:34.000 I'm a cage-fighting commentator.
01:49:37.000 Go ahead.
01:49:38.000 I'm a pot addict.
01:49:39.000 I smoke the pot.
01:49:41.000 I got problems.
01:49:42.000 Listen, man, I'm not a fucking reputable person when it comes to my political ideologies.
01:49:47.000 I mean, I'm just not.
01:49:48.000 I'm not that well-read when it comes to politics.
01:49:50.000 I have my opinions on things.
01:49:52.000 But when it comes to things that are rock solid and clear, like that Seth Rich was murdered and people want to ignore it, I'm like, what the fuck do you think happened?
01:49:59.000 There has to be some sort of a disconnect here.
01:50:02.000 When a person is giving information to WikiLeaks that exposes corruption inside the very organization that's responsible for the fucking Democratic Party, and he gets murdered, and you're like, oh, the conspiracy theories.
01:50:15.000 No, he got murdered.
01:50:16.000 There's no conspiracy.
01:50:17.000 It was a botched robbery.
01:50:18.000 Says who?
01:50:19.000 Says who?
01:50:20.000 How come his wallet was there?
01:50:22.000 How come his watch was there?
01:50:23.000 How come they didn't take his phone?
01:50:25.000 What the fuck are you talking about that I'm a conspiracy theorist when I just tell you the facts?
01:50:30.000 And this WikiLeaks thing with Julian Assange is the craziest shit ever when he said there's consequences to sharing information with us.
01:50:37.000 And everybody's like, he works for Russia now.
01:50:41.000 He works for Russia.
01:50:42.000 He was the darling of the left when Obama was in office.
01:50:45.000 So isn't that amazing?
01:50:46.000 So Julian Assange, he's just a great news guy who's tough as nails.
01:50:51.000 Who dances creepy and might have fucked some girl while she was asleep.
01:50:55.000 Whatever, whatever.
01:50:57.000 He can't leave!
01:50:58.000 He's stuck in the Ecuador Embassy forever!
01:51:00.000 By the way, that case was so fucked.
01:51:02.000 So fucked!
01:51:03.000 So fucked!
01:51:03.000 He's been so fucked, and it's because the CIA wants him so bad, and they control everybody, and now they have influence over Ecuador, and they're trying to fuck, they're trying to get a Halliburton guy to be their new, anyway.
01:51:14.000 They might just blow up that place.
01:51:16.000 Oh, it was a gas leak!
01:51:17.000 No doubt, right?
01:51:18.000 I wouldn't be surprised if shit like that happened.
01:51:19.000 If more stuff comes out, like the Seth Rich stuff, the amount of people, and this is where I leak any conspiracy theories, the amount of people connected to the Hillary Clinton organization, to the Clinton Foundation, to Bill Clinton, the amount of people that have been iced is stunning.
01:51:33.000 Some of them are bullshit and coincidental, and you know people, and they're in a weird job, and people get killed.
01:51:38.000 There's a lot of people that have been killed.
01:51:40.000 A lot.
01:51:41.000 But don't you think, what I love when they talk about the Uranium One story like it's debunked.
01:51:46.000 Right.
01:51:47.000 Bill Clinton got a half a million dollars put directly in his pocket from a Kremlin bank.
01:51:51.000 Directly.
01:51:52.000 And then $142 million flowed into the Clinton Foundation.
01:51:55.000 And it was a bunch of motherfuckers surrounding a nuclear deal because they wanted to do charity.
01:52:00.000 So what's the argument that it was debunked?
01:52:02.000 They say, oh no, she was only one of nine things that had to sign off.
01:52:08.000 There was all these other agencies that had to sign off on it, and this and that.
01:52:11.000 It's all bullshit.
01:52:13.000 That was all influence.
01:52:14.000 Someone gave your Clinton Foundation $142 million.
01:52:18.000 That's to buy influence, and a half a million dollars in the Bill Clinton's pocket directly.
01:52:22.000 It's because they like how he talks pretty English in Russia?
01:52:25.000 Are you fucking kidding me?
01:52:27.000 So it's all bullshit.
01:52:29.000 So people go, oh, it's debunked.
01:52:29.000 It's not debunked.
01:52:31.000 It's not fucking...
01:52:32.000 You tell me why they gave $142 million anonymously to a fucking Clinton foundation.
01:52:36.000 That is such bullshit.
01:52:38.000 They're so corrupt.
01:52:39.000 If you believe Trump is corrupt by doing deals with oligarchs, this is Dylan Radigan talking.
01:52:43.000 You also have to believe that Hillary Clinton did arms deals around the country while personally enriching herself, and Barack Obama is paid off by the...
01:52:51.000 Wall Street and the health insurance companies and Big Pharma, so we don't have a functioning money sector or a healthcare sector.
01:52:58.000 It's hard to believe one and not believe the other two.
01:53:00.000 That's what Dylan Rattigan says, and I believe that fucking guy.
01:53:03.000 He's an award-winning journalist, and he said, if you believe Trump is corrupt in this, and he goes, and it's easy to believe, it's all no fucking problem, but you also have to believe this.
01:53:09.000 You have to believe Hillary Clinton did arms deals all around the world, enriching herself to the tunes of millions of dollars.
01:53:14.000 The same thing with Barack Obama.
01:53:15.000 You can't believe one and not the other.
01:53:16.000 So my whole point is, when people try to pretend that Trump is the problem, they're missing the problem.
01:53:21.000 The problem is the neoliberal system that gave us Trump, that renders 63% of the population without enough funds to handle a $1,000 emergency in the richest country in the world.
01:53:31.000 That's the problem, Joe.
01:53:33.000 And that's what people are...
01:53:34.000 If you think it's Trump, Trump is a symptom of a bigger problem.
01:53:39.000 I don't even think that guy wants to be president.
01:53:40.000 He doesn't.
01:53:42.000 I think he fucked up.
01:53:43.000 I think he was running to build up his brand and like, shit, I'm biting tires now.
01:53:51.000 Bumpers taste like shit.
01:53:53.000 These people hate him so much, they want to impeach him.
01:53:56.000 One of my favorite parts of the election process was when he was saying, I gave you money, I gave you money, I gave you money.
01:54:04.000 So again, I would say stuff...
01:54:06.000 I was like, God, who would have thought it would be Trump to fucking out these people?
01:54:11.000 I know.
01:54:12.000 Because he did.
01:54:13.000 Well, you know, when Obama was mocking him at that press junket thing, what is that thing?
01:54:19.000 Yeah, it was at the war correspondence dinner.
01:54:20.000 Yeah, the correspondence dinner.
01:54:21.000 When he was mocking him, he said, one thing that I am that you'll never be?
01:54:25.000 President of the United States.
01:54:26.000 And you see Trump sitting there going, oh yeah, motherfucker?
01:54:29.000 And like, that very well could have been like, he was talking about running for president in the 80s, right?
01:54:35.000 But he never did.
01:54:36.000 Never did.
01:54:36.000 Thought about it in the 2004 election, never did.
01:54:39.000 But that fucking straw snapped.
01:54:42.000 And he did it!
01:54:42.000 And we're on!
01:54:43.000 He did it!
01:54:44.000 Now he's in.
01:54:46.000 Do you think that it's a good thing to have someone as fucked up as he is, like, in terms of, like, how we view a president?
01:54:52.000 In terms of, like, all the grabbing by the pussy and the paying off a hundred women, all the crazy shit and all the lies.
01:55:00.000 Like, he gets caught in lies all the time.
01:55:01.000 So you tell me what's worse.
01:55:03.000 Donald Trump says, grab him by the pussy, or Barack Obama says, I'm going to fix everything for you, and then he kicks your family out of your house, 5.1 million families out of their house, while making Wall Street whole.
01:55:14.000 And then when he comes back into public life after retiring, the first thing he does is give half a million dollar speeches to banks.
01:55:20.000 You fucking tell me what's worse.
01:55:22.000 Is that what he's doing now?
01:55:23.000 That's what he did, yeah.
01:55:24.000 When he first went windsurfing with Branson, and then he came back and he gave speeches to the Carlyle Group and some other people.
01:55:31.000 I had half a million bucks a crack.
01:55:32.000 Well, he needs to buy shit.
01:55:33.000 And Chris Hedges says, which is why I love Chris Hedges.
01:55:35.000 He was a guy who told the truth about the Iraq War, and the New York Times fired him for it.
01:55:40.000 Which is why the New York Times, you can't fucking believe that.
01:55:42.000 You can't listen to these establishment newspapers when they talk about war.
01:55:46.000 Right?
01:55:47.000 So, no, I fucking forgot what I was saying.
01:55:49.000 God damn it.
01:55:51.000 Obama coming back into office.
01:55:52.000 So Chris Hedges says they steal right out in the open now.
01:55:55.000 They don't even try to hide it.
01:55:56.000 And that's what that is.
01:55:57.000 Well, that was one of the funniest things about the Bernie Sanders-Hillary Clinton debates.
01:56:00.000 He's like...
01:56:00.000 Why don't you release the transcripts?
01:56:02.000 Release the transcripts!
01:56:03.000 That must have been some kind of a speech.
01:56:05.000 $600,000.
01:56:06.000 I'd love to hear what you had to say.
01:56:08.000 That fucking Debbie Wasserman Schultz.
01:56:10.000 Yeah, brilliant stuff.
01:56:13.000 We're so fucked up in this country, Joe, that we nominate the most repulsive neoliberal corporatist warmonger in the history of the Democratic Party.
01:56:21.000 The most unpopular nominee ever.
01:56:23.000 She loses to a fucking game show host that doesn't even want to be president.
01:56:27.000 And what do we do?
01:56:28.000 We blame another country.
01:56:30.000 We blame another country!
01:56:34.000 Talk about not wanting to examine the system that gave us.
01:56:37.000 And that's all they'll talk about is blaming another country.
01:56:39.000 And what is the big news of the week that we really concentrate on?
01:56:43.000 His hair flopping off in the breeze in France.
01:56:47.000 His hair opens up and you see the back of his head.
01:56:49.000 I admit I did a video on that.
01:56:50.000 Look at the comb over.
01:56:51.000 Look at the comb-over.
01:56:53.000 Look at it!
01:56:53.000 It's right there.
01:56:54.000 Well, we all knew.
01:56:56.000 But it was dramatic the way it blew.
01:56:59.000 It was dramatic the way it blew open.
01:57:00.000 It was like a wing opened, right?
01:57:02.000 It was like you seeing something you're not supposed to see.
01:57:06.000 Yes.
01:57:07.000 Like up a skirt.
01:57:08.000 It was like his head had an ass.
01:57:10.000 Yes.
01:57:11.000 I heard someone say that, yes.
01:57:13.000 That's a good way of looking at it.
01:57:14.000 Like, his head was mooning us.
01:57:16.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:57:17.000 And by the way, people are going to mistake everything I'm saying for defending Trump.
01:57:21.000 Why wouldn't he shave his head?
01:57:23.000 Take it from a guy who's got his head shaved.
01:57:25.000 Donald.
01:57:25.000 Now, how long ago did you shave your head?
01:57:27.000 Because I don't remember you having...
01:57:28.000 It's like you in my head.
01:57:30.000 2011, maybe, I think?
01:57:32.000 So, like, when I met you in 2004, whenever that was...
01:57:37.000 I just remember you as being bald, even though you weren't, obviously.
01:57:40.000 Now, in my head, that memory is...
01:57:42.000 Yeah, I do, too.
01:57:43.000 I look at pictures of me from Fear Factor, and I'm like, oh, I had hair.
01:57:45.000 I don't remember you ever having hair.
01:57:47.000 Isn't that funny?
01:57:48.000 It was hanging on, though.
01:57:49.000 It was starting to go.
01:57:49.000 But you're one of those guys who can pull it.
01:57:50.000 I couldn't pull it off.
01:57:51.000 You could pull it off.
01:57:52.000 I don't think so.
01:57:53.000 You think you couldn't until you do it, and then you realize.
01:57:55.000 It's nonsense.
01:57:55.000 And some guys can do gray hair, too.
01:57:57.000 I can't do gray.
01:57:57.000 I fucking look.
01:57:58.000 Really?
01:57:59.000 Can't do it?
01:58:00.000 I have to dye my hair all the time.
01:58:01.000 But when you let your hair grow gray, you have that aura of, you know, distinguishedness.
01:58:07.000 You're a distinguished gentleman.
01:58:09.000 You've aged and learned.
01:58:11.000 Yeah, I don't need it.
01:58:12.000 No, you don't want to die.
01:58:13.000 Fuck that.
01:58:14.000 I don't want to die, and I don't need to be distinguished.
01:58:17.000 I want everyone to think I'm the...
01:58:19.000 You know, Jerry Seinfeld, when he was getting an award...
01:58:22.000 He said, I don't like doing this.
01:58:23.000 I don't like getting awards.
01:58:24.000 I'd rather be standing in the corner making fun of the guy getting an award.
01:58:27.000 And that's exactly how I feel.
01:58:28.000 Yeah, that's me too.
01:58:29.000 I don't want an award.
01:58:30.000 I don't want to be in your club.
01:58:31.000 I don't want to, you know.
01:58:33.000 So what do you think about the Washington Post is owned by Jeff Bezos, the richest guy in the world.
01:58:37.000 He's fascinating to me.
01:58:38.000 And he sits on a Pentagon board, and he has a $600 million deal with the CIA, and he runs the paper of notes.
01:58:44.000 Wait, wait, wait.
01:58:44.000 $600 million deal with the CIA? Yeah, which is like something twice as what his papers were.
01:58:49.000 Is that what Amazon Alexa's doing?
01:58:50.000 Amazon Alexa's just gathering up information on everything you do?
01:58:53.000 Yes, it is.
01:58:54.000 That fucking thing bothers the shit out of me, yeah.
01:58:56.000 Yeah, it's not good.
01:58:57.000 Jamie and I were just talking about that new Apple Home thing, which has the most amazing microphones.
01:59:01.000 Jamie was saying that while the music is blaring, you can say, hey Siri...
01:59:04.000 Just real quiet.
01:59:06.000 Hey Siri, why don't you suck my dick?
01:59:08.000 Siri's like, I can't do that, sir.
01:59:10.000 Details about the CIA's deal with Amazon.
01:59:13.000 $600 million computing cloud built by an outside company is a radical departure from the risk-averse intelligence community.
01:59:21.000 So now they're in bed with the Washington Post, or Jeff Bezos, and now he also sits on a Pentagon board.
01:59:26.000 He's got so much money.
01:59:28.000 He's fascinating to me, because how do you keep going when you have $105 billion?
01:59:33.000 What's getting you up in the morning?
01:59:34.000 So he's a megalomaniac.
01:59:36.000 Yeah, it must be.
01:59:36.000 How do you accumulate more wealth than any person in the history of the world?
01:59:40.000 That means kings, queens?
01:59:42.000 That's not necessarily true.
01:59:44.000 The reason why is we don't count the same kind of money that the oligarchs have.
01:59:49.000 Like, especially people that, first of all, people have said that it's very possible that Putin is the richest man alive.
01:59:54.000 Because they're not counting how much money Putin has stolen from all the various companies that he's just sort of absorbed.
02:00:00.000 And that he owns all that stuff.
02:00:01.000 But also we don't count all these kings and these princes in the Middle East.
02:00:08.000 They're not public people.
02:00:11.000 Okay.
02:00:11.000 So let's say of all the people we can count, he's the richest guy.
02:00:15.000 A billionaire friend of mine, who's a legitimate billionaire, Told me that it's entirely possible that some of these guys are trillionaires.
02:00:22.000 Some of these Middle Eastern guys.
02:00:24.000 He's like, you've never seen wealth like this.
02:00:26.000 It's insane.
02:00:27.000 Do you know in the United Arab Emirates, they make it rain every week?
02:00:32.000 Once a week, they make it rain.
02:00:34.000 I mean...
02:00:34.000 They seed the clouds.
02:00:36.000 Really?
02:00:36.000 They make it rain.
02:00:37.000 Yeah, because they're in the desert.
02:00:38.000 And they're like, eh, I don't like this.
02:00:39.000 I like it to rain.
02:00:40.000 So they fucking put all that shit that they have to put into the sky to make it rain, which they've been doing forever, cloud seeding, but insanely expensive.
02:00:47.000 But they do it...
02:00:48.000 Once a week.
02:00:49.000 52 times a year it rains there.
02:00:51.000 So do you see a problem with the richest guy in the world owning the political paper of note and being in bed with the CIA and he's on a Pentagon board?
02:01:00.000 Yeah.
02:01:01.000 No, it's all spooky.
02:01:02.000 It's like some kind of Orwellian fucking nightmare.
02:01:04.000 Well, he's got so much money.
02:01:05.000 And you can't criticize them in the paper.
02:01:08.000 The people who write for that paper aren't going to fucking criticize them.
02:01:10.000 The Washington Post can't write anything bad about it.
02:01:13.000 I couldn't imagine they would even dare.
02:01:15.000 One guy wrote something bad about Amazon in the Huffington Post.
02:01:19.000 He got disciplined.
02:01:20.000 There was a guy who was a writer for the Washington Post, wrote something in the Huffington Post that was critical of Amazon, and he got disciplined at the Washington Post for doing that.
02:01:30.000 So that's the world we live in.
02:01:31.000 And then we have the government.
02:01:32.000 If you ever try to tell about a crime inside the government, then the government will use the Espionage Act to crack down on you.
02:01:37.000 So again, we live in an oligarchy, Joe.
02:01:39.000 Our democracy has already been taken from us.
02:01:42.000 So you know that this isn't a democracy.
02:01:44.000 They've done studies.
02:01:45.000 This is provable.
02:01:46.000 Was the thing about, from the Huffington Post, but was it valid?
02:01:51.000 Was it a valid criticism?
02:01:52.000 What was it about?
02:01:53.000 He criticized about how Jeff Bezos treats his workers.
02:01:56.000 Oh, okay.
02:01:57.000 That has been an open area of discussion.
02:02:01.000 I've talked to someone who actually worked there, and they were saying that they get a countdown.
02:02:05.000 So say an order comes in.
02:02:06.000 They literally have a countdown on their tablet.
02:02:09.000 And the countdown says, you know, like, I don't know what the amount of time is, but you have to run and find that fucking product and get it in the box and get it shipped out inside a very small window of time.
02:02:18.000 He goes, so I'm literally running.
02:02:20.000 I go, you run?
02:02:21.000 He goes, yeah, you literally run, because if you don't meet your countdown, he goes, you can only, like, get away with that for a certain amount of times, then you get in real trouble.
02:02:30.000 So they also have these new things, the wrists, the bands that they've just developed.
02:02:33.000 They shock you like a dog.
02:02:34.000 They shock you.
02:02:35.000 No, were you serious?
02:02:36.000 Yeah.
02:02:36.000 I was joking.
02:02:38.000 Oh my god, I'm sorry.
02:02:39.000 They fucking shock you?
02:02:41.000 He'll pull it up.
02:02:42.000 They'll vibrate, and if you're moving the wrong way, it'll shock you back.
02:02:47.000 It'll shock you back to the right way.
02:02:48.000 Yeah, but does it hurt, or is it like, have you ever driven a new Cadillac?
02:02:51.000 Yeah.
02:02:51.000 The new Cadillacs, if you go too close to the side, it gives you like, zub, zub, zub, zub, zub.
02:02:57.000 It gives you like a little feeling.
02:02:58.000 Amazon Patton's wristbands designed to track and steer employees' movements.
02:03:04.000 Wow.
02:03:05.000 So, Jeff Bezos, it's been reported, which is true, is that he would rather...
02:03:09.000 That guy's not running.
02:03:10.000 Run!
02:03:11.000 I won't get my shit in a day!
02:03:13.000 Run!
02:03:14.000 So now there's a couple different fixes for this, the problem of this.
02:03:18.000 Robots.
02:03:19.000 One of them would be unions, right?
02:03:22.000 So I'm like, my whole thing is, you know, why can't we unionize Amazon?
02:03:27.000 Why can't we unionize Walmart?
02:03:28.000 I know they make it hard.
02:03:29.000 Walmart literally shut down their meatpacking in Texas because the meatpacking group, they unionized in Texas.
02:03:35.000 They, fuck it, we're not going to sell meat anymore in Texas.
02:03:37.000 That's how we'll fuck over the union.
02:03:39.000 So, but we got to figure out a way to get unions in there.
02:03:41.000 There's another thing, you know, Teddy Roosevelt was a trust buster, which was, he was a monopoly buster.
02:03:46.000 You know, 50% of all online purchases go through Amazon.com in the United States.
02:03:50.000 50%?
02:03:51.000 Yeah.
02:03:52.000 You know, 51% of households in America have Amazon Prime.
02:03:55.000 Only 49% have a landline.
02:03:57.000 So more people have Amazon Prime in the United States than have a fucking landline.
02:04:01.000 What?
02:04:03.000 Is that real?
02:04:04.000 Mm-hmm.
02:04:05.000 So Teddy Roosevelt would come along and go, we've got to break this company up.
02:04:09.000 Wow.
02:04:10.000 He would say, this is...
02:04:11.000 But first of all, Jeff Bezos, because he owns the paper, he got the...
02:04:14.000 Trump was right when he said he's there to get the tax in his favor, because he was able to go around and hollow out economies of Main Street, little small towns all around, because he didn't have to pay taxes, the income tax, for Amazon.
02:04:27.000 And so the brick-and-mortar places did.
02:04:29.000 He closed them down by undercutting them, right?
02:04:32.000 And now he's opening up brick-and-mortar stores.
02:04:34.000 He closed out all the Barnes and Nobles and the Borders books, and now he's opening up Amazon bookstores.
02:04:39.000 Did you know that?
02:04:39.000 No!
02:04:40.000 Yes!
02:04:41.000 Amazon bookstores, 64%.
02:04:43.000 64!
02:04:44.000 There you go.
02:04:45.000 64!
02:04:45.000 It's even up higher than from what I looked.
02:04:47.000 I have Amazon Prime.
02:04:48.000 Now, how many of those people use it for television?
02:04:51.000 This is my question, because I know that Amazon started to make, apparently, some very good shows, but I don't hear anybody talking about watching them.
02:04:59.000 Like, apparently, Billy Bob Thornton has a really good show on Amazon.
02:05:03.000 And I know there was that Jeffrey Tambor show that got tanked.
02:05:07.000 Do you know that's an interesting Me Too story?
02:05:10.000 The Jeffrey Tambor one?
02:05:12.000 Because he was playing a transvestite or transgender person.
02:05:16.000 And there was people, and he's not transgender, and there was people on the show apparently that were very upset that a non-transgender person was playing a transgender person.
02:05:26.000 Well, it's acting.
02:05:26.000 Yeah.
02:05:27.000 Well, they didn't like that.
02:05:28.000 And there was a lot of internal...
02:05:34.000 Dispute because of that, which may or may not have led to the accusations.
02:05:38.000 I used to be much harder on transgender.
02:05:42.000 When I say harder on transgender, I mean a boner.
02:05:44.000 No, I mean...
02:05:45.000 I used to make jokes about them because I didn't understand.
02:05:49.000 I didn't understand it was a real thing.
02:05:51.000 I thought it was just guys fucking having fun.
02:05:54.000 Well, some of it is.
02:05:55.000 We all like to fucking feel a little weird or whatever.
02:05:58.000 I go, but, you know, I don't go out in public.
02:06:02.000 But then I realized this is an actual thing with a lot of people that they're actually born to have the different feeling than their outside.
02:06:08.000 Then I realized it was a thing, and so now I don't do that anymore.
02:06:11.000 It's gender dysmorphia.
02:06:15.000 There's definitely people that have issues in their mind where they wish that they were a different thing than what they are.
02:06:20.000 I think the thing that concerns me more about transgender people than anything is this acceptance of using hormone blockers for young children.
02:06:30.000 And I just think that is fucking insane.
02:06:32.000 And this is something that the liberal progressives are pushing at an alarming rate.
02:06:36.000 It's a terrifying idea.
02:06:38.000 You know, there's plenty of discussion about this online.
02:06:43.000 There's plenty of people that think that age six is a fine year to start this.
02:06:47.000 Yeah.
02:06:48.000 We've had people on the podcast who infiltrated this transgender group, and we're talking about their kid.
02:06:55.000 Their kid identifies with a girl.
02:06:56.000 But the kid is six, is too young to start.
02:07:01.000 My knee-jerk is it's too young.
02:07:02.000 They were saying, no, it's not.
02:07:04.000 Studies show that that's a good time.
02:07:06.000 They're just horse-shitting.
02:07:07.000 They want more people to do it so that they feel better.
02:07:10.000 Okay.
02:07:10.000 You ever met a married guy that wants you to get married?
02:07:13.000 Because they're fucking miserable as shit.
02:07:15.000 I don't want to call anybody out, but famous guy.
02:07:18.000 Have a conversation with a famous guy.
02:07:20.000 He's telling me how great it is to be married.
02:07:22.000 Mel Gibson.
02:07:22.000 Because his wife yells at him, tells him what to do, and all this shit, and he gets things done this way.
02:07:28.000 And I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about?
02:07:30.000 He's now divorced.
02:07:31.000 I'm married.
02:07:32.000 Okay?
02:07:32.000 This is many years ago.
02:07:34.000 This guy was fucking miserable, but he was trying to tell me that it's a good thing to be married because when you're married, you have to answer to someone and that someone tells you what to do.
02:07:43.000 I go, what?
02:07:44.000 He was telling me that his wife calls him a fucking asshole and it makes him...
02:07:47.000 I go...
02:07:47.000 I go, no, my friends don't call me an asshole.
02:07:50.000 If one of my friends calls me a fucking asshole, I made a huge mistake.
02:07:55.000 That's like living married to your football coach.
02:07:57.000 Who wants to do that?
02:07:58.000 Fucking throwing buckets of Gatorade on your head.
02:08:01.000 The whole thing was ridiculous, but it was literally, there's a misery loves company thing that happens.
02:08:06.000 So people who are married want you to be married, too.
02:08:09.000 Now, I'm not saying that's absolutely what's going on with people who are transgender, but they're most certainly in support of more people doing it.
02:08:17.000 And I don't know if that is why they would lean towards having six-year-olds take hormone blockers, but if you criticize that in any way, you are thought to be transphobic.
02:08:27.000 And this is a real issue today, where people are bringing this up over and over again.
02:08:32.000 I don't know why anyone would think that it's a good idea to take a six-year-old and put them on hormone blockers when they don't know what the fuck is going on with the world.
02:08:41.000 Their body is changing.
02:08:42.000 They're going through all this growth and development and for you to chemically hijack that for an ideology seems to me as an outsider to be fucking insane.
02:08:52.000 But to talk about it, you run the risk of being thought of as being transphobic.
02:08:56.000 It's a very strange time to discuss things.
02:09:00.000 Because you can't have an opinion about it because, oh, you're a cisgendered white man with all sorts of privilege.
02:09:06.000 Look at you, you macho piece of shit.
02:09:08.000 Yeah, people like to, oh, they'll say you're mansplaining.
02:09:11.000 Exactly.
02:09:12.000 It's like, well, I'm a guy and I have an opinion, so I'm not allowed to have that opinion ever.
02:09:16.000 I mean, I understand there's a time and a place to say mansplaining.
02:09:20.000 Sure.
02:09:21.000 But I don't think there is.
02:09:22.000 There's a time and a place to say that someone is talking down to people.
02:09:25.000 If they happen to be a man, that's fine.
02:09:27.000 But the problem with the term mansplaining is anytime a man is correct, if a woman is saying something that's incorrect and a man corrects her, he's mansplaining.
02:09:37.000 Well, that's ridiculous.
02:09:39.000 Too often it's turned into that.
02:09:42.000 Just like I said, the hashtag MeToo, we're all against sexual harassment at work, but we're not for puritanism.
02:09:47.000 Exactly.
02:09:47.000 So it's people hijacking certain things.
02:09:50.000 I think that what's going on with hashtag MeToo and a lot of things in this society is we're undergoing a radical cultural change, and it's brought about by information.
02:10:01.000 I think we are way more aware of each other's feelings, way more aware of what's okay, way more aware of what we're willing to tolerate and what we're not willing to tolerate.
02:10:09.000 And if you go back to the 1930s and the 1940s and watch old films where people would smack the shit out of women and rape them and do all kinds of crazy stuff, and it was thought to be normal.
02:10:18.000 Those are the heroes.
02:10:19.000 The heroes would backhand a woman right across the face.
02:10:21.000 John Wayne!
02:10:21.000 Yes!
02:10:22.000 John Wayne would do that.
02:10:23.000 Remember when he...
02:10:24.000 How about...
02:10:25.000 What's the guy?
02:10:25.000 I forget his name.
02:10:26.000 But he took the grapefruit right in her face.
02:10:27.000 Oh, yeah.
02:10:28.000 Yeah.
02:10:28.000 Normal.
02:10:29.000 What was that guy?
02:10:30.000 Was that John Wayne or was that...
02:10:31.000 No, that's the short guy.
02:10:33.000 Oh, yeah.
02:10:34.000 Fuck.
02:10:35.000 Oh.
02:10:36.000 I can't think of it.
02:10:37.000 Mickey Rooney.
02:10:38.000 No, the other short guy.
02:10:39.000 Was it?
02:10:40.000 No, Jim Cagney.
02:10:40.000 James Cagney.
02:10:41.000 Cagney, yes.
02:10:42.000 I can't believe I couldn't think of his name.
02:10:43.000 Yeah, I couldn't either.
02:10:44.000 Yeah, you did, though.
02:10:45.000 There it is.
02:10:45.000 There it is.
02:10:46.000 Oh, here it comes.
02:10:47.000 Yeah.
02:10:47.000 Give me some volume, see?
02:10:49.000 Let me hand some volume.
02:11:02.000 What a dick.
02:11:07.000 She doesn't even say anything.
02:11:12.000 She says that and he ticks the grapefruit right in her face.
02:11:19.000 Wow, that is kind of a...
02:11:20.000 That's a dick move.
02:11:21.000 It's a ruthless fucking scene.
02:11:24.000 Horrible.
02:11:25.000 Now try to do that today.
02:11:26.000 Maybe, you know, have some...
02:11:28.000 You know, name a guy who's a...
02:11:30.000 Ryan Gosling.
02:11:31.000 Bradley Cooper.
02:11:32.000 Yeah.
02:11:33.000 One of those guys.
02:11:34.000 One of them handsome fellas.
02:11:35.000 Do it to some beautiful, young...
02:11:37.000 Name a girl who's a good...
02:11:38.000 Emma Stone.
02:11:39.000 Yeah.
02:11:40.000 How about that?
02:11:41.000 Sucks a grapefruit in her face.
02:11:42.000 People be like, what the fuck movie is this?
02:11:44.000 And then she just kind of cries.
02:11:45.000 She doesn't even react.
02:11:46.000 Oh!
02:11:47.000 Oh!
02:11:48.000 Men beat the fuck out of women back then.
02:11:50.000 It was normal.
02:11:51.000 Yeah.
02:11:52.000 Horrible.
02:11:53.000 So I think what those things represent, obviously it's fiction, right?
02:11:57.000 But what it also represents is what was acceptable culturally to witness in a film.
02:12:03.000 That is not acceptable culturally to witness in a film now, especially from the fucking hero of the show.
02:12:09.000 I think today we're more aware than ever before of how people feel, of how people think, of what's acceptable, what's not, and what was wrong with the way people used to behave.
02:12:20.000 Whereas it was just, we were operating on momentum in the 30s and 40s and 50s and 60s and 70s.
02:12:25.000 The internet came along and people were just sharing information at this unprecedented pace.
02:12:31.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:12:32.000 I just found out about John Lennon.
02:12:34.000 What about him?
02:12:35.000 That he admitted to beating his girls, girlfriends.
02:12:39.000 Really?
02:12:40.000 Maybe he heard Yogo Arno sing.
02:12:42.000 You gotta give him a break.
02:12:45.000 But it was when he was younger and he said, you know, I have to make up for the things.
02:12:49.000 I can't deny what I did.
02:12:50.000 I have to make up for it.
02:12:51.000 I was like, wow, you don't want to hear that, right?
02:12:53.000 I heard that about Hendrix, too.
02:12:54.000 No!
02:12:55.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:12:56.000 See if you can find that.
02:12:57.000 Dude, the Hendrix story is very disturbing because Hendrix might have been murdered.
02:13:00.000 It's very possible that Hendrix was murdered.
02:13:02.000 You don't have to imagine John Lennon beat women and children.
02:13:05.000 It was just a fact.
02:13:06.000 Beat children?
02:13:07.000 Who did he beat?
02:13:08.000 What children?
02:13:09.000 Terrible things the famous asshole did during his life.
02:13:11.000 Is that written by a woman?
02:13:13.000 Hashtag me too.
02:13:16.000 Yeah, it was a different time.
02:13:18.000 I bet a lot of people did terrible things back then.
02:13:21.000 I guess one of his kids he wasn't nice to.
02:13:23.000 I forget which one, Julian or the other.
02:13:25.000 Anyway, you know Steve Martin's dad.
02:13:30.000 Did you ever read his book?
02:13:30.000 He talked about how his dad hit him a little too hard one time when they were never friends after that.
02:13:35.000 Jesus.
02:13:35.000 And did you get hit as a kid growing up?
02:13:37.000 No.
02:13:38.000 No, I didn't get hit, but my mother did.
02:13:40.000 Really?
02:13:40.000 Your mother got hit?
02:13:41.000 Yeah.
02:13:42.000 Oh, okay.
02:13:42.000 Yeah, my mother got hit by my dad, but then she left my dad.
02:13:45.000 Oh, and your dad didn't hit you?
02:13:46.000 Yeah, completely made up.
02:13:48.000 Jimi Hendrix, Australian girlfriend, Savage's new film, which shows Rockstar beating up her character.
02:13:53.000 Oh, okay.
02:13:54.000 All my side's inaccuracy has been criticized by Hendrix's friends, his former girlfriend, disgusted by scenes depicting domestic violence, never consulted her about her portrayal.
02:14:04.000 Okay, so that might not be true.
02:14:05.000 But there was another...
02:14:07.000 Someone had said that there was a situation where Jimi was in the other room and he hit his girlfriend.
02:14:14.000 Like someone was talking about it from a first-person perspective.
02:14:17.000 I don't know if that was the girlfriend.
02:14:19.000 The fascinating thing about Jimmy was that he had this gangster manager who had him kidnapped.
02:14:24.000 His manager had him kidnapped so that he could release him, so that he could rescue him, so that he could keep Jimmy on as a client.
02:14:31.000 And this is all that came from a really recent book that was one of the gangster guy's bodyguards, like one of the people that worked for him.
02:14:40.000 Very fascinating.
02:14:41.000 So he was afraid that Jimmy was going to get rid of him as a manager, so he engineered a kidnapping that he could solve, and then Jimmy would feel indebted and bring him on as his manager.
02:14:50.000 And this guy who wrote this book, I don't know how much of this is real and how much of it's bullshit, but thinks that they murdered Jimi Hendrix, and then right after that, the girlfriend of Jimi Hendrix was thrown off of a roof.
02:15:02.000 Yeah.
02:15:03.000 Really?
02:15:03.000 Yeah, and they said she committed suicide, but he says they threw her off a roof, and she knew about Jimmy's murder.
02:15:09.000 Really?
02:15:09.000 Yeah.
02:15:10.000 I don't know.
02:15:10.000 I don't know.
02:15:12.000 Stranger things have happened than that, Joe.
02:15:13.000 Well, that whole business, in many ways, look at Suge Knight, right?
02:15:17.000 That whole business, the music business, has been run by gangsters for a long fucking time.
02:15:21.000 Look at Phil Spector, right?
02:15:23.000 The guy who shot that woman in the face.
02:15:25.000 Like, he used to put guns in people's mouths all the time.
02:15:28.000 That business was run by gangsters forever.
02:15:31.000 That's crazy.
02:15:31.000 So, the idea of Jimi Hendrix's manager being a gangster is not outside the realm of possibility.
02:15:37.000 You go back to the Ciro's nightclub days, where the Comedy Store is today.
02:15:40.000 That was run by Bugsy Siegel.
02:15:42.000 It was a fucking gangster joint.
02:15:44.000 That's where they had musicians play, and fucking Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin play there.
02:15:49.000 I mean...
02:15:50.000 Oh, really?
02:15:50.000 That was run by fucking murderers.
02:15:53.000 That was the one reason why everybody was willing to believe that the Comedy Store was haunted.
02:15:57.000 If you look at the haunted dictionary of places or the directory of places, the comedy store is one of the top places on the list in Hollywood.
02:16:05.000 There it is.
02:16:05.000 I'm pretty sure it's haunted.
02:16:07.000 That's the fucking main room, man.
02:16:08.000 I perform there.
02:16:09.000 I'm going there tonight.
02:16:10.000 I'll be standing right there where that guy is.
02:16:13.000 I mean, it's crazy that the store is essentially the same fucking place as it was then.
02:16:19.000 Wow.
02:16:19.000 Yeah.
02:16:20.000 I believe it's haunted.
02:16:21.000 Dude, they killed a shitload of people in that place.
02:16:23.000 And that's the front door.
02:16:24.000 Oh, look how nice that looks.
02:16:26.000 Isn't it amazing?
02:16:26.000 Yeah, that's really...
02:16:27.000 Now it's all dark and evil.
02:16:28.000 Yeah.
02:16:29.000 Meanwhile, I was evil-er then.
02:16:30.000 Now we're just telling jokes.
02:16:31.000 That was fun that night.
02:16:32.000 I haven't done many sets at the Comedy Store in Los Angeles.
02:16:36.000 Oh, it's the best.
02:16:36.000 It was a blast.
02:16:37.000 I really enjoyed that.
02:16:38.000 Sam Tripoli, thanks for him bringing me on that show.
02:16:40.000 I'm doing his show tonight.
02:16:41.000 Oh, okay.
02:16:42.000 It's the show tonight.
02:16:43.000 It's in the main room.
02:16:43.000 The place is the best.
02:16:45.000 It's just...
02:16:45.000 It's soaked with history.
02:16:47.000 Look at that.
02:16:49.000 I smacked my girlfriend in the face with a grapefruit.
02:16:52.000 Look at them.
02:16:53.000 Cigarettes.
02:16:54.000 Smoking cigarettes.
02:16:56.000 Nobody worked out.
02:16:57.000 Nobody worked out.
02:16:58.000 Everybody looked like shit.
02:16:59.000 Look at Ronald Reagan.
02:17:01.000 Oh, there's Ronald Reagan!
02:17:03.000 Who's the girl?
02:17:05.000 I don't know.
02:17:05.000 That's Dean Martin, right?
02:17:06.000 Nancy Reagan.
02:17:08.000 That's Nancy?
02:17:08.000 No.
02:17:09.000 That's what the picture says.
02:17:10.000 Really?
02:17:11.000 It says Nancy and Ronald Reagan.
02:17:12.000 Wow, she got weird looking.
02:17:13.000 Jeanie Beeger, Martin.
02:17:14.000 Jeanie Beeger?
02:17:16.000 That's Dean Martin, right?
02:17:17.000 Dean Martin.
02:17:18.000 Wow, Dean Martin looked weird, too.
02:17:20.000 It's just a weird angle.
02:17:21.000 He's probably hammered.
02:17:23.000 Couldn't keep his eyes open.
02:17:24.000 So, like, I always wanted to be those guys.
02:17:25.000 Like, I wanted to be Dean Martin.
02:17:27.000 I wanted to be the Rat Pack.
02:17:28.000 I wanted to be Ray Liotta.
02:17:29.000 Why don't you be Jimmy Dore?
02:17:31.000 You have a good chance of being Jimmy Dore.
02:17:35.000 Well, it's hard to find out who that guy is.
02:17:37.000 Oh, I see.
02:17:38.000 But if you're on the outside, maybe there's a kid right now listening going, God damn it, Jimmy Dore.
02:17:42.000 I want to be you.
02:17:44.000 And you don't even know who the fuck you are.
02:17:46.000 Well, you know, have you ever thought about this?
02:17:48.000 I've thought about it like this.
02:17:49.000 If somebody would have whispered in my ear when I was 18 years old, you know how I had a lot of anxiety as a kid, like, what am I going to do with my life?
02:17:56.000 I had no role models to do anything.
02:17:58.000 I grew up in this blue-collar neighborhood.
02:17:59.000 I didn't want to do anything anybody fucking did there.
02:18:01.000 Me too.
02:18:02.000 Same thing.
02:18:02.000 Same story.
02:18:03.000 Yeah, it's crazy, right?
02:18:04.000 That's how you become a comic.
02:18:05.000 Yeah, and that's how I became a comic.
02:18:08.000 If somebody would have whispered in my ear when I was younger, like, hey, this is how it's going to work out, I'd have been a lot more relaxed.
02:18:14.000 Yeah, but then you would have made it.
02:18:15.000 Probably not.
02:18:15.000 You wouldn't have made it.
02:18:16.000 No, that anxiety is important.
02:18:18.000 The horrible feeling of insecurity, it all pans out because that makes you work.
02:18:23.000 Like, you don't want to be comfortable.
02:18:25.000 That's one of the things that I... I like to do things that I'm not good at.
02:18:29.000 It's one of the reasons why I like to do yoga.
02:18:31.000 It's one of the reasons why I like to run hills.
02:18:33.000 It's one of the reasons why I do things like archery and bow hunting and stuff like that.
02:18:38.000 It's fucking hard to do.
02:18:39.000 So it's humbling.
02:18:40.000 Jiu-jitsu.
02:18:40.000 It's very humbling.
02:18:41.000 And in doing these humbling things, you're always insecure.
02:18:45.000 You're always struggling.
02:18:47.000 You have to somehow or another constantly be in a state of struggle.
02:18:50.000 But that doesn't mean you have to be in a state of struggle all day, all your life.
02:18:53.000 But you have to understand what that feeling is.
02:18:55.000 Because that feeling is the only way you progress.
02:18:57.000 It's the only way you advance.
02:18:58.000 It's the only way you get better at things.
02:19:00.000 You get better at yourself.
02:19:01.000 You get better at life.
02:19:02.000 You have to go through that all the time.
02:19:04.000 It's a muscle that has to constantly be exercised.
02:19:07.000 It's like you're talking about doing stand-up, like Jerry Seinfeld saying, take four days off, and you feel it, take five days off, people know it.
02:19:13.000 Yeah, that's the same thing with struggle.
02:19:15.000 You've got to constantly be engaged in improvement and trying to figure out how to improve things.
02:19:21.000 That's how you advance.
02:19:22.000 That's how you advance technique.
02:19:25.000 That's how you advance thought.
02:19:26.000 That's how you advance ideas and bits.
02:19:28.000 That's how they progress.
02:19:30.000 You have to feel that fucking uncomfortable feeling that everybody wants to avoid.
02:19:33.000 Everybody wants to feel comfortable.
02:19:35.000 Fuck all that.
02:19:36.000 So when I was on the road, you know, when you were talking about how putting together your next special and how you're going to do it.
02:19:40.000 Terrified.
02:19:41.000 And all you have to go through.
02:19:43.000 You know, when I was on the road, I remember, like, even in El Tassel, Texas, I'd be working and I would do two shows and I would go home afterwards to the condo and I would listen to both shows.
02:19:54.000 Before I went to sleep.
02:19:55.000 Now, I know most guys didn't do that.
02:19:57.000 But I just had to do it.
02:19:59.000 And it was almost like I was embarrassed to let the other comics know I was listening to my set.
02:20:03.000 But it was just like that.
02:20:05.000 It's like, I don't want to be stuck here.
02:20:08.000 I have some place I want to be.
02:20:10.000 And I got to get there.
02:20:12.000 And if this helps me get there, I want to get there.
02:20:14.000 I want to figure out, how do I get to be like that guy?
02:20:17.000 How do I get to be like Jerry Seinfeld?
02:20:18.000 How do I get to be like Brian Regan?
02:20:20.000 How do I get to be like those people I want to be like?
02:20:22.000 And, you know, I just studied them, and I just...
02:20:25.000 So it's that whole thing of you have to have a desire to be somewhere that you're not.
02:20:29.000 Yeah.
02:20:30.000 Well, that's one way to look at it, but for me, I feel like that takes care of itself if you continue to improve.
02:20:37.000 So my thought has always been on the thing itself, like the craft, the bits, the chunks.
02:20:44.000 And there's some material from my past I'm embarrassed as fuck about.
02:20:47.000 I can't go...
02:20:48.000 Like, if I go on YouTube and I see some old thing from 1999 or something like...
02:20:53.000 It's fucking death.
02:20:54.000 I can't look at that.
02:20:55.000 But what I'm concerned with is like what I'm doing right now.
02:21:00.000 How do I get that better?
02:21:01.000 How do I tighten that up?
02:21:03.000 I'm not thinking one day I want to perform at this place and then I'll truly made it.
02:21:08.000 That's a trap.
02:21:09.000 But what's not a trap is making the work better.
02:21:12.000 Like constantly improving the work.
02:21:14.000 And since I've been focusing on that, the more I focused on that, the better my act has gotten.
02:21:19.000 Oh, yeah, definitely.
02:21:21.000 You're right about that's a trap.
02:21:23.000 Because, well, why do you think it's a trap when you say, oh, I want to play theater?
02:21:27.000 Because you're still you somewhere else with that same stupid act.
02:21:30.000 Yes, that's right.
02:21:31.000 And then it still bugs you.
02:21:32.000 And you think everything's going to be different.
02:21:34.000 And what I think fucks people up when they make it is they're like, I feel exactly the same.
02:21:39.000 Yeah.
02:21:40.000 And they don't know what to do with them.
02:21:41.000 So that's kind of like where I got, right?
02:21:44.000 Like, oh, I can do whatever I want, go wherever I want, see...
02:21:47.000 And I still feel the same.
02:21:49.000 And that's when I started listening to Eckhart Tolle, and I started to try to be present, try to learn how to enjoy the moment more, and the doing.
02:21:56.000 Yeah.
02:21:57.000 Right?
02:21:57.000 So when I'm on stage...
02:21:58.000 The doing.
02:22:02.000 I'm never more present than when I'm on stage.
02:22:04.000 Right.
02:22:05.000 Whatever that magic is to be present, it's like when people say they meditate, they have energy.
02:22:11.000 I have so much energy after I get off stage, even if it's a shitty show.
02:22:15.000 Right.
02:22:16.000 Because I'm just being present the whole time.
02:22:18.000 I'm not thinking about my bills or what happened yesterday.
02:22:20.000 I'm just thinking about right this fucking moment.
02:22:22.000 And it fuels me.
02:22:24.000 And that's why I just want to go back.
02:22:25.000 I want to figure out how I can go back to being a comedian.
02:22:28.000 Well, you can be.
02:22:29.000 I mean, you definitely did it the other night, so you just gotta do it more.
02:22:32.000 I'm just pushing myself to get out there more.
02:22:35.000 It happens to people where they get a television show, and it happened to me when I got news radio.
02:22:40.000 I was doing very little comedy, and I wasn't writing at all, and my acts started to suck.
02:22:44.000 I had the same old stupid act that I had for years.
02:22:48.000 There was a period of like two years where I didn't write a fucking single joke.
02:22:51.000 I would just go up and do the same set.
02:22:53.000 I wasn't doing any TV sets, and I just kept bombing.
02:22:56.000 And one time I bombed in front of some writers.
02:22:58.000 And I realized, like, oh my god, I have to get back to work.
02:23:02.000 And then I really started dedicating myself and really started paying attention again.
02:23:05.000 I bought a recorder so I could record all my sets.
02:23:08.000 I even installed a DAT machine at the Comedy Store.
02:23:11.000 I bought it.
02:23:12.000 Really?
02:23:13.000 Installed it.
02:23:13.000 Installed microphones.
02:23:14.000 Yeah.
02:23:15.000 I changed the microphone.
02:23:16.000 I bought a whole new sound system for the Comedy Store.
02:23:18.000 Really?
02:23:19.000 Yeah.
02:23:19.000 So I could start recording my sets and listening to all of them.
02:23:22.000 Fantastic.
02:23:23.000 That's awesome.
02:23:24.000 And now I just use my phone.
02:23:26.000 With iPhones, it's amazing.
02:23:27.000 But you gotta fucking, you gotta be concentrating on the work.
02:23:32.000 That's the thing, man.
02:23:34.000 And the more you concentrate on getting it better, and the more you tighten it up, and that's where the real happiness in performing is, is in doing a great job.
02:23:42.000 It's not in like the places that you go.
02:23:44.000 I still get nervous, like in some places I'll get nervous.
02:23:47.000 You know, like I did the theater at Madison Square Garden, that made me nervous.
02:23:51.000 I was like, holy shit, I'm performing at the fucking garden.
02:23:54.000 But then after the show was over, I was like, well, that was a show.
02:23:57.000 It was a normal show.
02:23:57.000 It was great.
02:23:58.000 Everything was great.
02:23:59.000 It went well.
02:24:00.000 But it was fucking weird, man.
02:24:01.000 Isn't it funny?
02:24:02.000 Because you're just mind-fucking yourself.
02:24:03.000 It's the same jokes as the same people.
02:24:05.000 It's just a different venue.
02:24:06.000 So I used to work this club in Chicago called The Funny Firm, which was a 400-seat room right downtown Chicago.
02:24:11.000 It was a great room.
02:24:12.000 And around the corner was the improv.
02:24:14.000 And they made it really hard to play the improv if you lived in Chicago.
02:24:18.000 And so I remember I got a shot...
02:24:21.000 To do a set there, and I was freaked out.
02:24:23.000 I didn't have a good set.
02:24:26.000 Of course, so much pressure!
02:24:28.000 I came off, and my friend Steve Segrin goes, he goes, it's the same fucking people that are around the corner, Jimmy.
02:24:33.000 They're right here.
02:24:34.000 It's the same fucking people.
02:24:35.000 And I was like, I know he's right.
02:24:37.000 I know he's right.
02:24:39.000 But I still fall into that.
02:24:40.000 But if you went up a week later, you'd probably be fine.
02:24:43.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:24:44.000 You did it more often.
02:24:46.000 Again, it's the newness of the situation.
02:24:48.000 Don't you feel like that's the problem with filming a special?
02:24:50.000 You film a special, it's like, here it is, ready, go!
02:24:53.000 Ah, the camera's on!
02:24:54.000 Oh my god, I gotta get it right!
02:24:55.000 Gotta be relaxed.
02:24:56.000 Gotta be normal.
02:24:57.000 I had one, when I did my hour special for Comedy Central, I thought we'd shoot two, and then we put it together.
02:25:02.000 Well, for whatever reason, we only had enough money to shoot one, and I was like, what?
02:25:05.000 I shoot four.
02:25:06.000 Oh, really?
02:25:07.000 Yep.
02:25:07.000 Nice.
02:25:08.000 I shoot four, but I could have used the first one.
02:25:09.000 You know why?
02:25:09.000 Because I knew I had four barrels.
02:25:11.000 I knew I had four shots.
02:25:13.000 But I did it before when I had two.
02:25:14.000 I did Denver, I had two.
02:25:16.000 And the first one, a lady heckled me.
02:25:18.000 And I was like, oh, no, now I only have one.
02:25:21.000 Ah!
02:25:22.000 Now I only have one.
02:25:24.000 It's terrible, right?
02:25:25.000 So I'm like, you gotta have four.
02:25:27.000 And, you know, four, I was relaxed.
02:25:29.000 Like, I did the Fillmore in San Francisco for my last one, and it felt like regular comedy.
02:25:33.000 It was normal.
02:25:33.000 That's a great place.
02:25:34.000 Yeah, that's why I did my hour special, was at the Fillmore.
02:25:36.000 It was a really great place.
02:25:37.000 Great place.
02:25:38.000 But I'd done I've known that place before.
02:25:40.000 I was comfortable.
02:25:41.000 I love San Francisco.
02:25:42.000 I work there all the time.
02:25:43.000 So everything just sat right in.
02:25:45.000 But I knew I had four shows.
02:25:46.000 Like, I feel like too many people put too much pressure on themselves to do one.
02:25:50.000 And I always remember about Hicks, when Hicks did Relentless.
02:25:52.000 He did it in the UK. And he did one big show.
02:25:56.000 And it just was flat.
02:25:57.000 It just seemed flat.
02:25:59.000 He didn't seem loose.
02:26:00.000 It was like he was just going through these motions that he had done before that were funny, but he wasn't connected to it.
02:26:07.000 You could feel the tension of doing one show.
02:26:09.000 And I had seen him many, many times.
02:26:10.000 And I remember I watched it with this girl that I was dating, and she goes, he's really interesting, but he's not funny.
02:26:16.000 That's what she said.
02:26:17.000 I was like, damn, bitch.
02:26:19.000 Wow.
02:26:19.000 You know, it's tough.
02:26:20.000 He's dead, don't you know that?
02:26:21.000 How about you shut the fuck up?
02:26:25.000 Did you rub a grapefruit in her face?
02:26:28.000 No, a kiwi.
02:26:31.000 I always thought it was that Bill Hicks, it's hard to capture someone on film as a stand-up.
02:26:37.000 It's hard to capture that.
02:26:39.000 Like Dennis Miller's Black and White, that was, I think, the greatest example of capturing that.
02:26:43.000 But Bill, I just thought it was like, well, Bill's funny in person, but he doesn't transfer to TV that well, because his specials didn't come anywhere close to being how funny he was in real life.
02:26:52.000 I think he just never, they never got it right.
02:26:54.000 I think they needed to get him at a club.
02:26:56.000 Yeah, like Sane Man?
02:26:57.000 You ever see Sane Man?
02:26:58.000 Yes.
02:26:58.000 That captured him.
02:27:00.000 Exactly, yeah.
02:27:01.000 He did that at the Houston Laugh Stop.
02:27:03.000 He did it himself, right?
02:27:04.000 Yeah.
02:27:04.000 See, that's...
02:27:05.000 But when you do that, then you're getting, you know, a bunch of different sets.
02:27:08.000 You find the right one.
02:27:10.000 And you do it at a comedy club where he's comfortable.
02:27:13.000 I think more people should do sets at comedy clubs and film specials at comedy clubs.
02:27:18.000 I have a couple of different theories for why, but one of the big ones is when you're at home, you're in a living room.
02:27:23.000 It's intimate.
02:27:24.000 Your couch, TV's just right there.
02:27:26.000 It's not fucking a million miles away on a giant, big-ass screen.
02:27:29.000 So it feels weird to watch something on, you know, the big-ass, giant place, 50,000 people, like Kevin Hart did his special.
02:27:37.000 I think that it's funny.
02:27:39.000 You know, obviously the material's great, great delivery and everything like that, but I think everything is enhanced more with an intimate environment.
02:27:46.000 One of my favorite specials that I did, I did at the Comedy Works in Denver.
02:27:50.000 It's like, I think it's...
02:27:51.000 What is that place?
02:27:52.000 It's not even 300 people, I don't think.
02:27:54.000 Really?
02:27:54.000 It might be 300. I just saw Judah Friedlanders, and he did his all in the Comedy Cellar, I think.
02:28:00.000 Bam!
02:28:00.000 Perfect.
02:28:01.000 And it was all a bunch of different, over like a couple months.
02:28:04.000 So he would just put his camera in the room.
02:28:06.000 Oh, great move.
02:28:07.000 And he did it in black and white.
02:28:09.000 Oh.
02:28:09.000 See, if you do that, man, you get it.
02:28:11.000 You get the right show.
02:28:13.000 Yeah, he did.
02:28:14.000 It's like when you're trying to capture one moment, one night, what are the odds that it's going to be perfect?
02:28:19.000 Right?
02:28:19.000 There's too much pressure on you.
02:28:20.000 You're right.
02:28:21.000 I never thought about that, that you're in this big, huge thing and people are watching it in their little room and it makes sense.
02:28:27.000 Yeah, I definitely want to do my next special in a club.
02:28:29.000 Did you see Dave Chappelle's new Netflix special, the one that he did at the Comedy Store, Belly Room?
02:28:33.000 He did two of them.
02:28:34.000 He did one at a good-sized place in D.C., which I think was like a couple thousand people, and then he did another one at the Belly Room, which was like 70 people.
02:28:42.000 I was there for that one.
02:28:44.000 Really?
02:28:44.000 Yeah.
02:28:44.000 I was like, wow, this is interesting, man.
02:28:46.000 It's so conversational, but when you're at home, it's great.
02:28:50.000 Because it's like, he's right there.
02:28:52.000 You see the people are literally as close to him as you are to me.
02:28:56.000 And then you're right there, too.
02:28:58.000 You're in the room with them.
02:29:00.000 I'll check that out.
02:29:02.000 Intimate.
02:29:02.000 You feel it.
02:29:04.000 Is it funny?
02:29:06.000 It's fucking hilarious.
02:29:07.000 The one in DC is genius.
02:29:09.000 And then the one in the belly room is great too, but in a different way because it's more like really current event stuff.
02:29:18.000 Like he's talking about Louis C.K. There he is up there.
02:29:21.000 So it's like Louis C.K. and Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey, who's a big part of the material that he was talking about.
02:29:29.000 And it was right after it happened.
02:29:31.000 He filmed this in November.
02:29:34.000 So it was just a couple of months ago.
02:29:35.000 And it was out in New Year's Day.
02:29:39.000 I'll check it out.
02:29:40.000 Definitely.
02:29:41.000 I have Amazon Prime.
02:29:42.000 I don't like to brag.
02:29:43.000 Oh!
02:29:44.000 You and 65 fucking million...
02:29:45.000 What is it?
02:29:46.000 64%?
02:29:47.000 64% of the country.
02:29:49.000 I wonder how many of those people are watching it on TV, though.
02:29:53.000 That's the interesting thing.
02:29:53.000 They're using Amazon Prime just for the TV part?
02:29:55.000 I mean, how many of them are using the TV part of Amazon Prime?
02:29:59.000 Like, how many of them are watching?
02:30:00.000 Because I have Amazon Prime.
02:30:02.000 I never remember.
02:30:03.000 I never used it for TV. I've never.
02:30:06.000 Do you still have old-time cable?
02:30:08.000 I have DirecTV.
02:30:09.000 Oh, so that's old-time cable.
02:30:11.000 Sort of, yeah.
02:30:12.000 I still have it.
02:30:12.000 I like to flip through.
02:30:14.000 I like cooking shows, and I like watching boxing.
02:30:16.000 Yeah, but sports.
02:30:18.000 It's great for live sports.
02:30:19.000 Yeah, but I don't watch the footballs too much anymore.
02:30:23.000 I did watch the Super Bowl.
02:30:25.000 Even though I loved watching New England lose...
02:30:29.000 I didn't really...
02:30:30.000 The game just doesn't excite me anymore.
02:30:32.000 It's just a bunch of fucking millionaires and that kind of...
02:30:35.000 You know, once they get younger than you two, it's hard to get excited.
02:30:38.000 It was all these different things.
02:30:40.000 Right?
02:30:41.000 I don't know.
02:30:41.000 Is that stupid?
02:30:42.000 I don't know.
02:30:43.000 I mean, it's only stupid if it's stupid to you.
02:30:45.000 Okay.
02:30:46.000 I mean, it just was a lot of...
02:30:47.000 And when I moved out from Chicago to LA, sports just seemed so much less interesting.
02:30:52.000 Now, I like watching sports like...
02:30:54.000 I like boxing because it's very much like stand-up comedy.
02:30:57.000 There's no hiding.
02:30:58.000 Right.
02:30:58.000 You know, you reveal who you are in the ring, right?
02:31:00.000 And just like as a stand-up.
02:31:02.000 There's no hiding.
02:31:02.000 There's no fucking light show or music underneath the fucking dancing girls.
02:31:06.000 It's just fucking you and your ideas.
02:31:08.000 Yeah.
02:31:08.000 And so that's why I like boxing.
02:31:10.000 And I realized, again, it's people that think I'm blowing smoke up your ass, but I don't like to watch.
02:31:15.000 I like to watch UFC. I like to watch the fighting.
02:31:18.000 But only if you're announcing it, because I like the backstories and all that shit that you give to it that no one else seems to be able to do.
02:31:25.000 It just kind of rolls it off of you.
02:31:27.000 It just falls out of your mouth.
02:31:29.000 Other people, announcers, it's just boring, so I don't watch.
02:31:33.000 Well, that's very nice of you, but it's just because I care about it.
02:31:35.000 That's all it is.
02:31:36.000 Yeah, you can sell.
02:31:37.000 It's been a part of my life since I was a little kid, and so for me, it's very important when I'm watching this and explaining what's happening, like, physically.
02:31:46.000 Like, to understand the Gracie brothers and what they did.
02:31:51.000 Yeah.
02:31:52.000 Like, that's interesting.
02:31:53.000 Right.
02:31:53.000 Right.
02:31:54.000 That's what heightens everything, you know, when you're watching, and that's why I like to watch boxing, because those guys' stories are always these unbelievable, his mother abandoned him when he was 80, he walked Brazil for three years, and then he started boxing, like, holy fuck!
02:32:06.000 You know, so that's like, that's the, and it's a do or die, and it's one-on-one, and that's why I love boxing.
02:32:13.000 Well, it's what we were talking about earlier when we were talking about Jay Leno's new show, is that he's actually passionate about it.
02:32:18.000 When someone's passionate about something, it comes through.
02:32:21.000 When it's real, when it's genuine.
02:32:23.000 And if they can articulate it, it comes through.
02:32:26.000 And I think if you're not doing something you're passionate about, understand that from watching someone who is doing something like the Jay Leno show or anything along those lines.
02:32:34.000 When you see someone, you go, oh, that's that feeling.
02:32:37.000 That's that magic.
02:32:38.000 That's that thing where someone's like really excited about it.
02:32:40.000 Like it's legit.
02:32:41.000 Like it's in their bones.
02:32:43.000 And if it's not in your bones, man, you better find what is.
02:32:45.000 Because you're missing out on, you know, you're only getting to seven.
02:32:48.000 Life goes to ten.
02:32:49.000 And you're not ever hitting the high spots.
02:32:51.000 You know, you might be fine staying at seven forever.
02:32:55.000 I've been to ten too many times.
02:32:57.000 I like being at ten.
02:32:58.000 That's the problem.
02:32:59.000 Most people never get to five.
02:33:00.000 It's amazing, most people.
02:33:02.000 Most people I grew up with and stuff.
02:33:05.000 Comedy opened my...
02:33:06.000 I grew up on the south side of Chicago.
02:33:08.000 I could see the Sears Tower and the John Hancock building, which are the two biggest buildings in Chicago.
02:33:13.000 You could see downtown from where I live.
02:33:15.000 Nobody ever went there.
02:33:17.000 I guess if you grew up in the Bronx, you could see Manhattan, you never went.
02:33:21.000 And then comedy kind of opened that up for me.
02:33:24.000 I went into those neighborhoods, and I was like, this is awesome!
02:33:28.000 I fucking love this city!
02:33:30.000 The whole thing, as I said, it was such a heady experience for me, and my whole life was ahead of me.
02:33:35.000 No matter who you are, if you kill, if you're a stand-up and you kill, I don't care if you kill at Zany's, it's 150 people, or if you kill at Madison Square Garden, it's still killing.
02:33:45.000 It's the same feeling.
02:33:46.000 It's 10. It's 10. You hit 10. You hit a joke and boom, and you hear the roar like, that's 10. And there's nothing, you know, my brother, I remember the first time I got a paid gig.
02:33:58.000 It was in Wheaton, or Wheeling, Illinois.
02:34:01.000 Anyway, it was $50, and I was telling him I had to drive 50 miles to go make $50 to do comedy, which to me was a victory, right?
02:34:07.000 Right, yeah.
02:34:08.000 And he worked for the power company in Chicago, Commonwealth, and he goes, pfft!
02:34:11.000 They'd have to pay me $50 just to drive there, right?
02:34:14.000 And I'm like, yeah, but when you get there, you have to go to fucking work.
02:34:18.000 When I get there, I'm the center of attention.
02:34:21.000 There's a party happening, and I'm the guest of honor, and I'm going to get a blowjob afterwards, which I did that night in the church parking lot.
02:34:27.000 It was fantastic.
02:34:28.000 Wow, a church parking lot?
02:34:29.000 Yep.
02:34:29.000 I was like, we're in a parking lot of a church.
02:34:31.000 Wow.
02:34:32.000 Anyway, so that's why I love stand-up comedy.
02:34:35.000 It's like there's nothing like it.
02:34:36.000 Everywhere you go, you're the guest of honor at a party.
02:34:39.000 That's another thing that people probably never totally understand about stand-up that haven't done it, is you become attractive.
02:34:47.000 Whereas you're just a guy.
02:34:48.000 Oh, right.
02:34:49.000 Before.
02:34:50.000 Right.
02:34:50.000 You're just a guy.
02:34:51.000 Just a guy.
02:34:52.000 A normal guy.
02:34:52.000 Now you're a guy, and girls are going after you.
02:34:55.000 Yes.
02:34:55.000 And you're like, what is happening here?
02:34:57.000 I remember the first time that happened, I was stunned.
02:35:00.000 Like, I'd come off stage, I killed, and this girl came right up to me, and she wanted to talk to me.
02:35:03.000 I'm like, is this a trick?
02:35:05.000 Like some girl in Connecticut, I'll never forget it.
02:35:07.000 She put her hand on my chest and she was talking to me.
02:35:09.000 You are so funny.
02:35:10.000 How long have you been doing this?
02:35:11.000 Oh my god, you're hilarious.
02:35:12.000 You're kidding.
02:35:13.000 And I was like, what is going on here?
02:35:14.000 Is this fake?
02:35:15.000 Is this girl, what is she going to do to me?
02:35:17.000 Is there someone around going to rob me?
02:35:18.000 Like what's happening?
02:35:19.000 It was so weird.
02:35:20.000 Even when afterwards her and I had sex, I was like, this seems fake.
02:35:24.000 It doesn't even seem real.
02:35:26.000 First time that happened to me, I was working at Zany's.
02:35:29.000 Maybe I should.
02:35:30.000 Too late.
02:35:31.000 And I come off stage, and this woman came up to me, and she says, where are you going?
02:35:37.000 I go, I'm going to the bathroom.
02:35:39.000 And she says, do you need any help?
02:35:42.000 And at that club, there's just one...
02:35:44.000 It's not a big bathroom.
02:35:46.000 It's one stall, right?
02:35:47.000 So you get your own room.
02:35:48.000 Right.
02:35:48.000 And I go, I don't know if my...
02:35:58.000 Wow.
02:36:01.000 Wow.
02:36:11.000 Yeah, it's a weird shifting of roles, you know?
02:36:14.000 Yeah, it was.
02:36:15.000 And I remember my back hurt at the time.
02:36:17.000 I used to have a bad back when I was starting comedy.
02:36:19.000 And I remember I had to, like, sit on the sink because I go, my back, and I sit on the sink and she's blowing.
02:36:26.000 It was so funny.
02:36:28.000 Girls don't get that thing from comedy, though.
02:36:30.000 It's a funny thing that Allie Wong has.
02:36:33.000 She's like, road pussy is amazing.
02:36:36.000 She goes, road dick is...
02:36:38.000 I don't want to do her bit.
02:36:39.000 I don't want to ruin her bit.
02:36:40.000 Yeah, I hear you.
02:36:41.000 Essentially, she's...
02:36:42.000 Yeah, it's not the same.
02:36:43.000 Yeah, I don't want to ruin her material, but yeah, essentially that's what she's saying.
02:36:47.000 It's like, it's not a good deal for gals.
02:36:50.000 It must be different.
02:36:51.000 You know, one time I remember, I have a big mouth and everything, and so when I started comedy, there was this girl, and she was pretty, and I guess I must have told people I'd like to get on, I can't wait to work the road with her so I can fuck her, right?
02:37:06.000 That's horrible.
02:37:07.000 So people hearing that now today, they're like, Jimmy, you're a piece of shit.
02:37:12.000 So I don't even know how I said it or whatever, but I get confronted by her at a comedy club.
02:37:18.000 This girl comes up to me, and I didn't know she was going to say it.
02:37:20.000 She goes, Hi, Jimmy.
02:37:22.000 And I go, Hi, how are you doing?
02:37:23.000 She goes, I heard you said you can't wait to work the road with me because you wanted to fuck me.
02:37:26.000 Oh.
02:37:28.000 She goes, did you say that?
02:37:30.000 I go, sounds like something I would say.
02:37:34.000 And she goes, don't you want to know who told me?
02:37:37.000 I go, could be anybody.
02:37:41.000 Don't you want to know who told me?
02:37:43.000 It's like she ran out of things to say.
02:37:44.000 Yes!
02:37:45.000 And then she goes, well, why did you say that?
02:37:46.000 I go, because you're really pretty and I'm attracted to you.
02:37:50.000 And she totally changed.
02:37:52.000 She was like, oh, well, that's okay.
02:37:54.000 Yeah.
02:37:55.000 Totally changed!
02:37:56.000 Yeah, but this is a different era.
02:37:57.000 And we're friends till this day.
02:37:59.000 But if this happened today, she would write an article for some one of them online rags.
02:38:03.000 You're right.
02:38:04.000 I would get in trouble for that.
02:38:05.000 You'd be a piece of shit.
02:38:06.000 But I was a kid.
02:38:07.000 I was just starting comedy.
02:38:08.000 I didn't know my asshole from a hole in the ground.
02:38:10.000 Right.
02:38:10.000 And I didn't know anything about that.
02:38:12.000 And when she said, she goes, why did you say that?
02:38:14.000 And I just decided to be honest.
02:38:15.000 And I go, because you're pretty and I'm attracted to you.
02:38:18.000 She's like, oh, that's okay.
02:38:22.000 I think she thought I was saying she was a slut.
02:38:25.000 And that's not what I was saying.
02:38:27.000 That's not what I was saying.
02:38:28.000 And I was saying she's fucking beautiful.
02:38:29.000 I would like a chance with her.
02:38:30.000 I would like a chance with her.
02:38:32.000 That's what I was saying.
02:38:33.000 And she took it.
02:38:34.000 I was saying she was a whore.
02:38:35.000 So that's not what I was saying.
02:38:36.000 So she totally...
02:38:37.000 That's the only experience I have like that.
02:38:39.000 Yeah, it's going to be a weird time if we remove flirting and clumsy attempts at sex.
02:38:47.000 There's a lot of that stuff that turns out to be fun.
02:38:50.000 It's funny, too, that one thing that you could say to one person is highly offensive, and you could say it to another person is exactly what they wanted to hear.
02:39:00.000 It's like, and you really don't know until you say it.
02:39:02.000 Until you say it or do it.
02:39:03.000 Then you read it written on paper, like, yeah, it sounds terrible, but in the right circumstance, that's the thing to say.
02:39:10.000 Nobody wants to admit that.
02:39:12.000 Like, I dated this girl once.
02:39:14.000 I'll never forget this.
02:39:15.000 When it's read back to you in court, it sounds horrible.
02:39:18.000 But in the moment...
02:39:19.000 Go ahead.
02:39:20.000 There was a girl that I dated once, and we were making out, and we were getting into it hot and heavy.
02:39:25.000 She grabs my dick, and I said, I want you to get on your knees and suck my cock.
02:39:29.000 She goes, I've always wanted someone to tell you that to me.
02:39:31.000 No kidding!
02:39:32.000 And she drops down to her knees, and she's fucking going at it.
02:39:36.000 But when she looked at me, she goes, I've always wanted someone to say that to me.
02:39:39.000 I'm like, what?
02:39:40.000 I hit the jackpot, baby!
02:39:43.000 Come on, seven!
02:39:44.000 But if you could say that to some girls, she'd be like, no.
02:39:47.000 Like, all right.
02:39:48.000 That's the whole thing.
02:39:49.000 What are you going to say?
02:39:49.000 Like, you don't know.
02:39:50.000 In the moment, like, I just, like, it was hot and heavy and crazy quick, and I was like, I'm just going to roll the dice.
02:39:56.000 Let's just see.
02:39:56.000 Let's pull the, let's go for three lemons.
02:40:00.000 See what the fuck happens!
02:40:03.000 You never know.
02:40:04.000 If you don't make any calls, you don't make any sales.
02:40:06.000 But this is 1993. Try doing that in 2018. You can get in real trouble.
02:40:12.000 I just talked to a guy, and he owns a bar.
02:40:15.000 We're talking about Hashtag Me Too, and he says, you know, the thing is that women don't have to hit on men.
02:40:20.000 Men are always the aggressor, right?
02:40:22.000 And so that causes a lot of problems, you know?
02:40:24.000 Like, I'll see a guy with his group of friends, and he'll slink over to try to talk to this girl, and he's nervous, and he says, hey, you want to dance?
02:40:31.000 And she'll shut him down, and he'll walk back over, and like, oh, that fucking bitch, you know?
02:40:35.000 And that's what's...
02:40:36.000 because he's got a saved face, and women don't know what that's like.
02:40:41.000 Well, unattractive women do, though.
02:40:44.000 I mean, one of the things that you see from the same people, whether it's men or women, is people that are constantly shut down and ridiculed and mocked by the opposite sex become very bitter and angry.
02:40:57.000 You see it sometimes from unattractive women who have been shit on by men, and you see it from unattractive men who have been shit on by women.
02:41:03.000 They develop this animosity towards the opposite sex, and it's very unfortunate.
02:41:06.000 And a lot of it comes from that feeling that you just get from someone.
02:41:10.000 When you make it advance, you become vulnerable.
02:41:13.000 And look, if you're a guy, not a good-looking guy, and you take a chance at some girl, she's with her friends at a bar, she might mock you openly in front of her friends, and it's ruthlessly painful.
02:41:21.000 And she's just not attracted to you.
02:41:23.000 She wants to shut down any possibility that you might have in your head.
02:41:26.000 You go back over there.
02:41:27.000 And this happens time and time again.
02:41:29.000 You could easily develop animosity towards women, or develop a very bad association with the opposite sex.
02:41:36.000 You see that from women.
02:41:37.000 There's a lot of women that I know that have real issues with men, and they're very unattractive.
02:41:42.000 And they'll say really gross generalizing things about men.
02:41:46.000 They will make these gross...
02:41:47.000 Men are this, and men suck, and men aren't funny, and men aren't this, and men are that.
02:41:52.000 And then you look at them, and you're like, oh, well, you're obese.
02:41:56.000 You're unattractive and your experiences with men have probably largely been of rejection and bad things.
02:42:04.000 On top of all the realities of what men are capable of and the horrible things that men absolutely do.
02:42:09.000 No denying that.
02:42:10.000 But to have this gross generalization about an entire gender.
02:42:16.000 Based on what?
02:42:17.000 Well, a lot of it is based on their own life experiences.
02:42:20.000 Meanwhile, you go to some really attractive girl who's like, go to, you know, fill in the blank, some really attractive girl who's always had men hit on her.
02:42:28.000 She might be, oh, men are gross, men are disgusting, I'm just waiting for the right guy.
02:42:31.000 She's not...
02:42:33.000 Lumping all men into this group, but many women that are unattractive and have a hard time with men have the same response towards men that many unattractive men have towards women.
02:42:44.000 It's a real...
02:42:45.000 It's a fucking hard roll of the dice to be born in a way that's just without any...
02:42:53.000 Doing of your own, completely outside of your control.
02:42:56.000 You're just not sexually attractive to the opposite sex.
02:42:59.000 So, you know what?
02:43:01.000 I didn't realize that men had this kind of anger towards women.
02:43:05.000 I didn't realize women had it towards men.
02:43:08.000 But porn, it turns me off a lot.
02:43:13.000 Most of it is like this anger.
02:43:15.000 Oh, like slapping and shit.
02:43:16.000 Yeah, like enforcing and jamming the cock and all this and spitting in there.
02:43:22.000 I'm like...
02:43:23.000 What the fuck is going on?
02:43:24.000 I don't know what that is.
02:43:26.000 When I have sex, I like to please a woman.
02:43:29.000 I like her to be happy and comfortable.
02:43:33.000 So that's when I realized, oh, there's a bunch of fucking dudes who hate women and angry, and they get off on humiliating them.
02:43:40.000 I don't get off on that.
02:43:41.000 Yeah, there's definitely that.
02:43:43.000 You know, I had a friend, and he was an unattractive guy, and I watched him go from being, sort of having these idealistic ideas about the one day, he had a girlfriend at the time, and it turned out his girlfriend was cheating on him, and then, you know, he had other girls, and they were trying to get his money,
02:43:58.000 and then he just became this bitter fucking guy.
02:44:02.000 Like, over the time that I knew him, he just became a woman hater.
02:44:05.000 I mean, straight up woman hater.
02:44:06.000 He'd hit on girls, and they would turn him down, and be like, fucking dykes.
02:44:09.000 He'd just be angry.
02:44:11.000 Like angry at women.
02:44:12.000 He associated, and I watched it from afar, he associated women with negative feelings.
02:44:18.000 He associated them with rejection.
02:44:20.000 He associated them with callousness.
02:44:23.000 And I have a friend who's overweight and she feels like that about men sometimes.
02:44:27.000 Like men are shit and they're insulting and they're this and that.
02:44:31.000 Some.
02:44:31.000 Some are.
02:44:32.000 Yes.
02:44:33.000 Some people are terrible.
02:44:34.000 Some males and females are terrible.
02:44:36.000 But when you're picking, I'm on team penis and you're on team vagina, we've all lost.
02:44:41.000 Because you're crazy.
02:44:42.000 You're going to align yourself with 150 million people that you...
02:44:45.000 How many do you know?
02:44:46.000 Do you know 150 of those 150 million people?
02:44:49.000 Because that's a lot.
02:44:50.000 You probably don't even have an intimate relationship with 150 men.
02:44:54.000 So you're going to lump all 150 million into the same group that you're against and 150 million women into the group that you're with?
02:45:02.000 That's crazy.
02:45:03.000 We're humans.
02:45:04.000 We're supposed to be on team human.
02:45:06.000 And we're supposed to all figure out how to get along.
02:45:08.000 But along the way, we're trying to find mates and we're trying to find companionship.
02:45:14.000 The reality of that is it is a messy proposition.
02:45:17.000 And some people get left out.
02:45:19.000 And some people get shoved aside.
02:45:21.000 And some people get attacked.
02:45:23.000 And some people get diminished.
02:45:25.000 And some people feel terrible about the experience.
02:45:27.000 And some people aren't good at it.
02:45:28.000 And some people are better at it than others.
02:45:30.000 And some people use money and influence.
02:45:32.000 And some people use their looks.
02:45:33.000 And the whole thing is just...
02:45:35.000 It's not perfect.
02:45:36.000 This is not some...
02:45:38.000 Egalitarian adventure.
02:45:39.000 So, I never watched Sex and the City, but my wife did.
02:45:42.000 Good for you.
02:45:43.000 Good for you.
02:45:44.000 She talks about...
02:45:46.000 I watched it once because Brian Callen was on.
02:45:48.000 I was like, Jesus, Brian.
02:45:49.000 Don't give up your days.
02:45:50.000 It's definitely a show for women.
02:45:52.000 Wait a minute.
02:45:53.000 What are you saying?
02:45:53.000 Are you a sexist?
02:45:55.000 God.
02:45:56.000 But my wife says about that show, because it was an honor when she's watching, she's like, you know, these women all got laid and it was all about them wanting to get laid and they had resiliency and they weren't snowflakes and they were...
02:46:08.000 Right.
02:46:09.000 And these women could fucking run in heels and, you know, all this...
02:46:12.000 They were...
02:46:13.000 They had grit.
02:46:14.000 Right.
02:46:14.000 And she's like...
02:46:16.000 She doesn't feel that that's what's happening today.
02:46:18.000 Well, there's certainly no role models like that, but you know what's really interesting?
02:46:21.000 Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Cattrall fucking hated each other.
02:46:24.000 No kidding?
02:46:25.000 Yeah, there was a thing yesterday with Kim Cattrall saying she's not my friend.
02:46:29.000 She's never been, I don't want your sympathy.
02:46:31.000 Because Kim Cattrall's, was her brother died?
02:46:34.000 Someone in her family died?
02:46:35.000 And she sent her best wishes, and she's like, she's not my friend.
02:46:38.000 She's never been my friend.
02:46:39.000 I don't like her.
02:46:40.000 And apparently they were just...
02:46:43.000 Yeah, and she said, you know, she's a shitty person, and she said all this fucked up stuff about her, like, right after her brother died.
02:46:49.000 I was like, Jesus.
02:46:51.000 Wow.
02:46:51.000 That's what it was?
02:46:52.000 Her brother?
02:46:52.000 Yeah.
02:46:53.000 Yeah, like, the whole thing is just like, oh, so this whole thing about this camaraderie and this union of women all together and fighting against odds.
02:47:02.000 Guess not.
02:47:03.000 Horseshit.
02:47:03.000 Yeah.
02:47:04.000 Horseshit.
02:47:05.000 People hated each other.
02:47:06.000 It's like The Rock and Tyrese in Fast and the Furious.
02:47:09.000 They didn't really like each other.
02:47:10.000 It's a scam.
02:47:12.000 That's fascinating.
02:47:12.000 She's married to that Matthew Broderick, right?
02:47:14.000 Yeah.
02:47:15.000 Yeah.
02:47:17.000 Okay.
02:47:18.000 I don't follow that stuff, but whatever.
02:47:21.000 That's a good point I think my wife made.
02:47:24.000 Yeah.
02:47:24.000 It was a good point that women with grit, yeah.
02:47:27.000 I mean, you don't get, what are the role models today?
02:47:30.000 You have the Kardashians, you have sex in the city, I mean, what is that, housewives, real housewives?
02:47:35.000 How did Kim Kardashian get famous?
02:47:37.000 Sucking dick.
02:47:39.000 It was a porn tape, right?
02:47:40.000 Yeah, she released a sex tape that apparently was engineered by her family.
02:47:45.000 That's what I heard too.
02:47:46.000 Is that crazy?
02:47:47.000 It's not.
02:47:48.000 If you see what that lady's done, like how she's organized it, look, and it's been very successful.
02:47:52.000 She had a plan?
02:47:52.000 Yeah, if you look at it in terms of a financial venture, it's been a windfall.
02:47:57.000 It's unbelievable.
02:47:58.000 Unbelievable.
02:47:59.000 Amazingly successful.
02:48:01.000 But chaos, in a sense, they're a type of royalty in a lot of ways.
02:48:05.000 No doubt.
02:48:06.000 It's like modern plastic royalty.
02:48:08.000 Yes, it's the culture of nothing.
02:48:10.000 Yeah, culture of fake asses and nonsense.
02:48:14.000 But they're talented, I'm sure.
02:48:16.000 No.
02:48:17.000 No.
02:48:18.000 They're talented at doing that.
02:48:20.000 I mean, it's not a talent, but they've been wise strategically in keeping themselves out in the public eye.
02:48:27.000 I mean, I'm not a Kim Kardashian or Kardashian family hater by any stretch of the imagination.
02:48:33.000 I've had a couple of bits about them where I kind of mocked them, but I don't...
02:48:37.000 I don't hate them.
02:48:38.000 I mean, there's nothing wrong with what they're doing.
02:48:39.000 I know a lot of people that are way dumber than them that I don't hate.
02:48:42.000 Why don't I hate them because they're famous?
02:48:44.000 Like, that doesn't make any sense.
02:48:45.000 No, I don't hate them at all.
02:48:46.000 I mean, I don't even know them or watch their shows.
02:48:48.000 I think Kim is really pretty.
02:48:51.000 But I just think what it says about the culture, right?
02:48:54.000 So it makes you like, it reminds you, hey, your culture is vapid.
02:48:58.000 Yeah.
02:48:58.000 Well, part of our culture is that.
02:49:00.000 And I think they came along at an amazing time, the time of social media, where it's just all about likes and butt pictures that have been doctored up by Photoshop.
02:49:09.000 The whole thing is really fascinating.
02:49:11.000 And then, you know, the father is like, well, I'm not getting enough attention as a guy.
02:49:15.000 Fuck it, I'm going to be a chick.
02:49:16.000 And then he gets amazing amounts of attention.
02:49:18.000 I mean, you could say that I'm being callous, but that's what happened.
02:49:23.000 That's what happened.
02:49:25.000 That's so funny.
02:49:26.000 I never thought of it like that.
02:49:27.000 Oh, it's 100%.
02:49:28.000 He's a male Kardashian.
02:49:29.000 He became a Kardashian.
02:49:32.000 That's an amazing way to look at it.
02:49:33.000 Dude, I had a bit about it in my last special.
02:49:36.000 My last special.
02:49:38.000 Oh yeah?
02:49:38.000 Did you get in trouble?
02:49:39.000 No, I didn't.
02:49:39.000 I covered all my bases.
02:49:41.000 But it was basically about...
02:49:44.000 I can't do the bit, but I'll tell you about it afterwards.
02:49:48.000 It's on Triggered on Netflix.
02:49:50.000 Go watch it, fuckers.
02:49:52.000 Let's wrap this up, Jimmy Dore.
02:49:53.000 Hey, listen, man.
02:49:54.000 I'm glad we finally got a chance to do this.
02:49:55.000 This was really fun.
02:49:56.000 Yeah, this was great.
02:49:57.000 I'm really glad you invited me.
02:50:00.000 Let's do it more often.
02:50:01.000 I'm a big fan of your comedy, and I would love to do it again, and hopefully if you could ever come out to Pasadena, check out my show.
02:50:06.000 Listen, I'm out in Pasadena all the time, so let's make it happen.
02:50:09.000 All right, will do.
02:50:10.000 Jimmy Dora, ladies and gentlemen.
02:50:11.000 Jimmy underscore Dora on Twitter.
02:50:12.000 You got Instagram, or no?
02:50:14.000 No.
02:50:14.000 Good for you.
02:50:15.000 Fuck it.
02:50:16.000 No.
02:50:16.000 He doesn't need it.
02:50:18.000 Grapefruit in your face.
02:50:21.000 Bye, everybody.
02:50:26.000 Alright, thanks pal.