The Joe Rogan Experience - February 28, 2018


Joe Rogan Experience #1086 - Rory Albanese


Episode Stats

Length

3 hours and 4 minutes

Words per Minute

209.7916

Word Count

38,759

Sentence Count

4,047

Misogynist Sentences

100

Hate Speech Sentences

97


Summary

In this episode, the boys talk about the latest science breakthroughs in the pet care industry, and what it means for the future of our beloved pets. Also, we talk about what it's like to be a dog owner in New York City, and why you should never get a dog that's not a good enough dog. We also talk about how to get a good dog that is good enough to be your best friend, and how to keep a dog in a good home. And, of course, there's a story about how a dog can be good enough that you should get one of your own. Don't miss it! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. All rights reserved. Used by permission. The opinions stated here are our own, not those of our companies, unless otherwise stated. We do not own the rights to any music used in this episode. This episode was produced, produced, written, and edited by us. If you have any questions or suggestions for our next episode, please reach out to us at sws@whatiwatchedtonight.co.nz or we'll get them on the airwaves. Thank you for any amount you can manage to afford our sound quality and sound quality. We are working with a good sound engineer. We do our best to ensure the quality is as good as possible. We strive to provide the best possible sound quality possible, and we do our very best to achieve that in this is as much as possible, we strive to be the best we can achieve that. We appreciate the best that we can be possible for you. Thanks for your support is appreciated. - Thank you, thank you, we really appreciate your support, we appreciate you, truly appreciate you. We really appreciate it. xoxo - The boys - Matt, Matt, Rachael, and the crew. Matt, Sarah, Mike, and Jack, etc., etc. - Thankyou, Matt & Will, etc, etc. etc. Thank you all of your support and support us, really appreciate all of the support we can do our work. -- thank you so much, Matt and appreciate you for all the support, love you, really much, much appreciate you all the love, appreciate it, really really appreciate the support you all, really means it, appreciate you back and appreciate all the attention, really mean it, truly means it. <3.


Transcript

00:00:04.000 Boom.
00:00:04.000 And we're live.
00:00:05.000 What happened?
00:00:06.000 You took your hat off?
00:00:07.000 You're going, you're getting crazy.
00:00:08.000 I'm trying to feel, you know, I want to feel at home.
00:00:10.000 It's that West Coast marijuana, dude.
00:00:11.000 It hits you hard, right?
00:00:12.000 It does.
00:00:13.000 Hard and fast, man.
00:00:14.000 Woo!
00:00:14.000 It's no joke.
00:00:14.000 Yeah, it's no joke.
00:00:15.000 These chemists, or whatever they are, botanists, these fucking science dorks, they've done a wonderful job.
00:00:21.000 Yeah, they figured it out.
00:00:21.000 Yeah.
00:00:21.000 Jesus Christ.
00:00:22.000 It's not even the same thing anymore.
00:00:23.000 No.
00:00:24.000 It's a, it's a, it's a, it's GMO all the way.
00:00:29.000 Yeah, it's like, hey, hey, hey, have you guys tested this on people yet?
00:00:32.000 I know, it's crazy.
00:00:34.000 I'm like, I know you took the seeds out of watermelon, but what the...
00:00:37.000 Yeah, how the fuck did they do that?
00:00:39.000 I don't know.
00:00:39.000 How did that even happen?
00:00:40.000 I don't know.
00:00:41.000 I just read that Barbara Streisand cloned her dogs.
00:00:44.000 Did you read that?
00:00:44.000 I heard about that.
00:00:45.000 Jamie told me.
00:00:46.000 It's like the weirdest thing, dude.
00:00:48.000 She has two dogs from one.
00:00:50.000 That's weird.
00:00:50.000 She made two clones of her favorite dog.
00:00:53.000 That is like the polar opposite of Adopt Don't Shop.
00:00:56.000 Yeah.
00:00:56.000 It's like you can't get any further.
00:00:58.000 Yeah.
00:00:58.000 It costs like $100,000.
00:01:00.000 Oh my god!
00:01:00.000 Of course it does.
00:01:02.000 She can't have a different shape.
00:01:03.000 It's impossible.
00:01:04.000 Can't be a different dog.
00:01:05.000 It's impossible.
00:01:06.000 Yeah.
00:01:07.000 It's a weird move.
00:01:09.000 Man, if you really believe that personality comes from that...
00:01:14.000 If it's the same thing?
00:01:15.000 Like, if it just looks the same?
00:01:17.000 You don't want it to just look the same, do you?
00:01:19.000 No, it's supposed to be an identical clone of your original dog.
00:01:22.000 What if it's just really, really stupid?
00:01:24.000 What if it's your favorite dog, but this time it's just shitting all over the place, walking in the walls?
00:01:29.000 We've got bad news.
00:01:30.000 It doesn't have an asshole.
00:01:32.000 It just didn't work all the way.
00:01:34.000 It worked most of the way.
00:01:36.000 It looks like him.
00:01:36.000 It's like 94% your dog, and then, you know, it's missing an asshole.
00:01:40.000 It's 30% as smart as your last dog.
00:01:43.000 Which is pretty good, because your last dog was a genius.
00:01:45.000 Also, there's another dog attached to it.
00:01:48.000 That's walking in a different direction.
00:01:50.000 They're eventually going to pull each other apart.
00:01:52.000 But for now, you have each other.
00:01:53.000 Yeah, you've got six to eight weeks with these weird two-headed beasts.
00:01:57.000 For a hundred grand.
00:01:58.000 Yeah.
00:01:59.000 Or you could just go to the pound.
00:02:01.000 For free.
00:02:02.000 I have a story that I do in my act about a pound dog that I had.
00:02:05.000 I had a pound dog that killed one of my dogs.
00:02:07.000 Wow.
00:02:09.000 Pound dogs are tricky, man.
00:02:10.000 You know, you get a dog that's been in, like, a shelter for a long time.
00:02:15.000 Sometimes they're in there for months.
00:02:17.000 They come out highly aggressive.
00:02:21.000 Some of them.
00:02:22.000 Some of them don't.
00:02:22.000 My dog's a shelter dog, but I got her, I mean, she's 13 now, but when I got her, she was a puppy.
00:02:27.000 And they found she was a stray puppy.
00:02:28.000 She's a little black lab, like, just wandering in the Bronx.
00:02:31.000 And I got her probably, like, three days...
00:02:34.000 After they found her.
00:02:35.000 What age do you think a dog would have to be?
00:02:37.000 Like, you've got to imagine, like, a certain amount of abuse that a dog suffers early in its life before it gets to the pound.
00:02:42.000 It's got to really fuck with its head.
00:02:44.000 Yeah.
00:02:45.000 Like, there's dogs that you get at the pound.
00:02:46.000 You're essentially, like, taking on an abused organism.
00:02:50.000 Completely.
00:02:51.000 It's not just that it doesn't have a home.
00:02:53.000 It's that it might have been in dogfights.
00:02:55.000 Like, I'm pretty sure that mine, either its family was in dogfights or it was in a dogfight.
00:03:00.000 And there's...
00:03:02.000 You know, people around you that are probably kicking you and beating you.
00:03:05.000 Oh, yeah.
00:03:05.000 Or you're tied up for hours at a time.
00:03:07.000 Like, you know, you have no free...
00:03:09.000 I mean, who knows?
00:03:10.000 But I do think dogs can be rehabilitated, but I do think it takes...
00:03:14.000 You have to have a...
00:03:15.000 Look, to even have a dog be a good dog, right?
00:03:18.000 I don't know enough.
00:03:18.000 Like, when I have my puppy...
00:03:20.000 Like, I worked with my dog so much, and she's a great dog.
00:03:25.000 Like, I could walk in New York City without a leash.
00:03:26.000 She just follows me.
00:03:27.000 Oh, really?
00:03:28.000 Yeah, she's amazing.
00:03:29.000 That's amazing.
00:03:30.000 But...
00:03:30.000 I worked so hard.
00:03:32.000 And then if you add to that, you have to first brainwash them or get them over the anxieties they have.
00:03:40.000 There are certain dogs that just hate men, because obviously in their former home, there was an abusive man in the house, and they react differently to men than women.
00:03:49.000 Yeah, I mean, you never know.
00:03:51.000 A dog can't tell you what it's seen, you know?
00:03:53.000 Nope.
00:03:53.000 I had one dog that I adopted.
00:03:55.000 She was two, and she had mange all over her body.
00:03:59.000 Like, all over her body.
00:04:00.000 And she looked terrible, man.
00:04:02.000 And they caught her eating out of garbage cans in front of this family's house that rescues pit bulls.
00:04:09.000 And I took her in and like within a month, she had hair in her body.
00:04:14.000 She looked great.
00:04:15.000 She was healthy.
00:04:16.000 Sweetest dog.
00:04:17.000 Sweetest dog with people.
00:04:19.000 But if another dog got too close, she would fuck that dog up.
00:04:24.000 It was like she was like protecting what she had.
00:04:26.000 It was real hard to have an aggressive like pound dog.
00:04:33.000 Or a wild dog.
00:04:34.000 But it is the thing I would always tell people to try to do first.
00:04:38.000 Because I am a big adopt-don't-shop guy.
00:04:40.000 If you go to a dog pound...
00:04:42.000 You can find some amazing dogs.
00:04:43.000 Where I got my dog, which is Animal Care and Control in New York City.
00:04:47.000 Like, they euthanize, like, a hundred dogs a day.
00:04:50.000 Like, it's literally just, like, their dogs are coming in all the time.
00:04:54.000 Dogs with stab wounds, dogs they find in the park, and then they, like, they have five days in a pound, and then they're out.
00:05:00.000 So it's like, when I was there, this is, again, like, 13 years ago, but when I was getting my dog and I was waiting to pick her up, this woman came in with two dogs.
00:05:10.000 Rottweilers, beautiful Rottweilers on leashes, and she goes, I don't want these anymore.
00:05:14.000 Oh, man.
00:05:15.000 And then the lady behind the camera was like, well, what do you mean?
00:05:17.000 And she was like, I just can't handle them.
00:05:19.000 And then they took the leash, and she walked out, and then there were just these two dogs.
00:05:22.000 No, I don't know if they were trained to kill or not.
00:05:24.000 I was going to be like, add two Rottweilers to my tab.
00:05:26.000 Yeah, you can't do that.
00:05:28.000 Who knows?
00:05:28.000 I knew nothing about them, but I'm like, well, in five days, those dogs are dead, because they're like four-year-old Rottweilers.
00:05:33.000 I had a Doberman that we adopted when I was a kid, and it had distemper.
00:05:38.000 Which means what?
00:05:39.000 It's a disease that makes them really aggressive in this crazy way.
00:05:43.000 The dog turned on us.
00:05:44.000 That's scary.
00:05:45.000 Oh, dude, it was so scary.
00:05:46.000 I was like...
00:05:47.000 I couldn't have been more than 12. I was like maybe 12, somewhere around then.
00:05:55.000 And this big-ass Doberman is like showing its teeth and barking and snapping at us.
00:05:59.000 That's scary.
00:06:00.000 And out of nowhere.
00:06:01.000 Yeah.
00:06:01.000 It was the sweetest dog before.
00:06:03.000 And then all of a sudden it's on the couch, like looking down on us.
00:06:06.000 And we were like...
00:06:06.000 Whoa, what is happening here?
00:06:08.000 And so they came and took the dog, I think, or did we take the dog to the pound?
00:06:16.000 I don't remember what happened.
00:06:18.000 Or to the vet, rather.
00:06:19.000 And then they ran an examination, the dog, and they're like, this dog is distemper.
00:06:24.000 So we just, we got it with this weird disease.
00:06:27.000 And that's like, you can't have that in a house with kids.
00:06:29.000 I don't know what the fuck they do.
00:06:30.000 Well, I was a kid at the time.
00:06:31.000 My parents weren't having it, but I don't remember like, I don't remember too much about it.
00:06:35.000 I just remember that dog on the couch.
00:06:38.000 I just remember that dog on the couch showing its teeth, snapping at us.
00:06:42.000 Scary.
00:06:42.000 And I was like, Oh shit, we brought home a dog, a full-grown dog that has a disease.
00:06:48.000 My mom's cousin, so my second cousin was married to a dude for a number of years who had this Rottweiler that was like a Psychotic dog.
00:06:57.000 And like at one point, it jumped through their bay glass windows in their house to try to get the mailman and got caught between the two windows.
00:07:06.000 It was fine.
00:07:08.000 I mean, it had stitches and they had to pull some glass out of it, but it didn't impact the dog.
00:07:12.000 And it dove through a window.
00:07:14.000 It just didn't make it all...
00:07:15.000 Get to a mailman.
00:07:15.000 It would have like killed the mail.
00:07:17.000 It was just because somebody was walking up their porch, you know?
00:07:19.000 Jesus Christ.
00:07:20.000 And the dog just...
00:07:20.000 And that same...
00:07:21.000 Almost one time, like my grandparents had a house upstate and they were there.
00:07:25.000 Like my brother opened a door and came at him.
00:07:27.000 You know, it was just like...
00:07:28.000 Some people just like having a scary dog.
00:07:32.000 That's not the kind of dog you just want around a kid.
00:07:35.000 People get killed.
00:07:37.000 It certainly can happen.
00:07:39.000 Especially if it's really aggressive with people like that.
00:07:42.000 Jesus, that's so dangerous.
00:07:43.000 That's a monster.
00:07:45.000 And they're huge.
00:07:46.000 Rottweilers are like $145.
00:07:48.000 Big fucking animal, man.
00:07:49.000 It's a big animal.
00:07:50.000 It is.
00:07:51.000 Those big males, those big fucking frying pan heads.
00:07:54.000 Yeah.
00:07:55.000 And they're giant flatheads.
00:07:56.000 It's funny, too, because we're talking about genetic modifications or cloning, but really dogs, if you look at them historically, they've been that the whole time.
00:08:03.000 Like, man has manipulated what they wanted of certain animals, and they've bred...
00:08:10.000 The meanest, toughest ones to be guard dogs, and they bred the cutest, take a piss on a paper mat ones to be laugh dogs.
00:08:17.000 Those are all choices that were made.
00:08:19.000 By humans.
00:08:20.000 Yeah, by humans.
00:08:21.000 And over time, by continued breeding of ones that were the same and same and same, you end up with breeds and things.
00:08:26.000 Man really played a huge role in the kind of dogs.
00:08:29.000 I think man did the whole thing.
00:08:30.000 Because when they did the genome, when they mapped out the DNA, it's a wolf.
00:08:35.000 Every dog is a wolf.
00:08:36.000 Yeah, no matter how big the dog is.
00:08:38.000 Isn't that crazy?
00:08:39.000 Think about how powerful and terrifying and majestic a wolf is, right?
00:08:44.000 I mean, it's one of the most amazing creatures in the forest.
00:08:47.000 Couldn't agree more.
00:08:48.000 And we found just the one that was just slightly bitch-ass.
00:08:52.000 Just slightly bitch ass.
00:08:53.000 We're like, come on to the campfire, bro.
00:08:55.000 Yeah.
00:08:55.000 Dude, we got free food.
00:08:57.000 Yeah, and he was like, oh, bacon's good.
00:08:58.000 Okay, okay.
00:08:59.000 Just, hey, man, I don't like your ears poking up like this, dude.
00:09:01.000 Just relax.
00:09:03.000 Relax with your ears.
00:09:04.000 I think you're too alert.
00:09:05.000 Like you're looking to kill me.
00:09:07.000 And then they found a male that was like that, too.
00:09:09.000 We should make these two fucking do something here.
00:09:11.000 They figured out a way to get the bitch ass family that stayed real close to them to fuck each other.
00:09:16.000 They were like, let's take the two smallest ones and make them do it.
00:09:19.000 And then they probably invented dog houses, and I bet dog houses changed the game.
00:09:23.000 As soon as you put a roof over them, they're like, this is amazing!
00:09:27.000 They're like, we're in.
00:09:28.000 I don't have to be a wolf.
00:09:29.000 Absolutely.
00:09:29.000 All this extra hair.
00:09:30.000 How about not having a hunt every day?
00:09:32.000 It's like, this is great.
00:09:33.000 I want white curly hair.
00:09:34.000 I'm a poodle now, motherfucker.
00:09:37.000 Excuse me, I'd like a perm.
00:09:39.000 A perm!
00:09:40.000 And a bed with my name on it, please.
00:09:43.000 When they shave them down and they make them puffy where their feet are.
00:09:45.000 Oh my god, yeah.
00:09:45.000 That's an amazingly foo-foo dog, but it's still a dog.
00:09:49.000 That dog will fuck you up.
00:09:50.000 Yep.
00:09:51.000 Some of those poodles are ruthless.
00:09:53.000 Have a little chihuahuas, man.
00:09:54.000 Those things will come out, yeah.
00:09:55.000 Poodles probably have an attitude, too.
00:09:57.000 Like, no one takes them seriously.
00:09:58.000 Yeah.
00:09:58.000 Like, if you had a...
00:09:59.000 Yo, I got a bunch of guard dogs.
00:10:00.000 What do you got?
00:10:01.000 They're 90-pound poodles.
00:10:03.000 Yeah.
00:10:03.000 People should shut the fuck up.
00:10:05.000 Oh, my God.
00:10:05.000 But that's still a dog.
00:10:06.000 Yeah, it is.
00:10:07.000 That thing...
00:10:07.000 It would be so funny if that thing that looked like a Barbie toy.
00:10:12.000 Oh, my God.
00:10:13.000 Right?
00:10:13.000 It looks like a Barbie toy.
00:10:14.000 It doesn't even look like a real dog.
00:10:15.000 That dog will fuck you up.
00:10:16.000 It'll bite your dick off.
00:10:17.000 Yeah.
00:10:18.000 But I have to say, I feel bad when I see dogs have that haircut because they have no part in it.
00:10:23.000 You know what I mean?
00:10:24.000 Look at these dogs!
00:10:26.000 Jamie's showing us a picture of dogs with braids.
00:10:28.000 Unreal.
00:10:29.000 Okay, now seriously.
00:10:30.000 Those dogs are wearing slippers.
00:10:31.000 Is that cultural appropriation?
00:10:33.000 How does that work?
00:10:34.000 A little bit.
00:10:35.000 I feel like it might be.
00:10:36.000 They're white dogs.
00:10:36.000 They're stealing from Santa Claus.
00:10:38.000 Look at the colors.
00:10:39.000 Yeah.
00:10:39.000 They got Santa's gang colors.
00:10:41.000 God, people just...
00:10:44.000 What in the fuck is that?
00:10:45.000 It's not okay.
00:10:46.000 What in the fuck did they do to this dog?
00:10:48.000 We're looking at a dog, it's body is a pink snail, and I'm not joking.
00:10:53.000 It looks like a pink snail, like a swirly with hot pink accents.
00:10:58.000 Is that how you'd say it?
00:10:59.000 Yeah.
00:10:59.000 Stripes?
00:11:00.000 And it's back leg is a flower.
00:11:02.000 Yeah, it's fucking preposterous.
00:11:04.000 Spray-painted.
00:11:05.000 They spray-painted the dog.
00:11:07.000 The dog is dying.
00:11:09.000 Chemicals.
00:11:09.000 It has green hair, too.
00:11:10.000 It says the poodles transformed into pandas, horses.
00:11:14.000 Don't do that, you fucks.
00:11:15.000 And even snails.
00:11:16.000 You've seen the ones where they take certain dogs and they make them look like a lion?
00:11:20.000 What dog did they do that with?
00:11:20.000 Like a camel.
00:11:21.000 What the fuck did they do to this dog?
00:11:23.000 They turned a dog into a camel.
00:11:26.000 This is so mean.
00:11:27.000 People are such assholes.
00:11:28.000 This is so mean.
00:11:29.000 This is the same dog?
00:11:30.000 This is abuse.
00:11:31.000 Come on.
00:11:32.000 It says Cindy the Poodle right here.
00:11:33.000 This is as bad as hitting a dog, in my opinion.
00:11:36.000 So Cindy the Poodle just is a new look every year, like Madonna in the 90s.
00:11:40.000 Oh, Cindy, I'm so sorry.
00:11:41.000 Psychedelic snail.
00:11:42.000 Cindy.
00:11:43.000 Oh, my God, Cindy.
00:11:44.000 What kind of wacky parents...
00:11:46.000 Oh, my God.
00:11:46.000 That's a different dog.
00:11:47.000 They turned this dog into a panda.
00:11:48.000 That's so messed up.
00:11:49.000 It's hair white and black and...
00:11:51.000 Can you imagine coming over to someone's house?
00:11:53.000 You got a fucking bear in your house!
00:11:55.000 Bro, I'm not into exotic wildlife!
00:11:58.000 Excuse me, you have a camel and a panda in your front yard?
00:12:00.000 Hey, dude, I can't pet your bear.
00:12:02.000 I can't pet your bear.
00:12:03.000 I have a family.
00:12:05.000 They turned into a horse.
00:12:07.000 They turned into a football player.
00:12:10.000 Folks who are just listening, what is the name of this, Jamie?
00:12:13.000 Because we have to tell people about this.
00:12:16.000 Poodles transformed into pandas, horses, snails, etc.
00:12:20.000 It's on the Daily Mail.
00:12:21.000 Just Google that and you'll find it.
00:12:23.000 It's the Daily Mail link.
00:12:24.000 Oh my god, a buffalo.
00:12:26.000 Did they put a mask on it?
00:12:27.000 Would they glue a mask to it, Ted?
00:12:29.000 I don't...
00:12:29.000 These are monsters, these people.
00:12:31.000 Yeah, these are horrible people.
00:12:31.000 What'd they do to the dog?
00:12:32.000 They gave him a muzzle?
00:12:33.000 It hits the muzzle, yeah.
00:12:34.000 They put a muzzle on it so it looks like a football helmet.
00:12:36.000 He could be a football player from the 30s.
00:12:39.000 He had to have one with a face mask.
00:12:40.000 What, they put a wig on?
00:12:42.000 How'd they do the buffalo?
00:12:43.000 The buffalo doesn't even make sense.
00:12:44.000 Scroll back up again.
00:12:45.000 The rooster.
00:12:47.000 Scroll back up to the buffalo.
00:12:48.000 Where's its head?
00:12:49.000 Where's its actual head?
00:12:50.000 Oh, so they put something over its head?
00:12:52.000 I don't know.
00:12:53.000 Look at that.
00:12:53.000 It looks like they put an outfit on him.
00:12:57.000 Where's his head?
00:12:57.000 This seems mean.
00:12:58.000 This is mean.
00:12:59.000 It's got like extra ears.
00:13:00.000 They put a mask on him, it looks like.
00:13:02.000 This is so fucked up.
00:13:04.000 So crazy.
00:13:04.000 Like, how you were a werewolf.
00:13:05.000 No, I'm just a dog, man.
00:13:07.000 Oh god, a peacock dog.
00:13:09.000 Oh, the last one they turned into a peacock.
00:13:11.000 They literally glued feathers to its ass.
00:13:13.000 That is just, everything about this is terrible.
00:13:16.000 It looks like it might be actually just standing there.
00:13:17.000 And they have the feathers propped up against the wall.
00:13:20.000 Possibly.
00:13:20.000 Am I seeing that correctly?
00:13:21.000 But the other stuff is done to it.
00:13:23.000 I think that's what I'm seeing.
00:13:24.000 Yeah, that's on the back of the platform.
00:13:26.000 Nice.
00:13:26.000 Yeah, it's unfortunate.
00:13:27.000 It's not nice.
00:13:28.000 I don't like it.
00:13:29.000 It just seems like you got a dog for the wrong reason.
00:13:32.000 I know.
00:13:33.000 You know, go get a fucking Mr. Potato Head.
00:13:35.000 Don't get a dog.
00:13:37.000 That's a dog.
00:13:38.000 The fuck are you doing?
00:13:39.000 How about decorate your house?
00:13:41.000 Don't decorate the goddamn dog.
00:13:43.000 Yeah, it's just...
00:13:44.000 Christ.
00:13:45.000 I don't know.
00:13:45.000 People are terrible.
00:13:47.000 They're gross.
00:13:49.000 They're gross.
00:13:50.000 They make so many bad decisions.
00:13:51.000 But it's interesting, like...
00:13:53.000 One of the things that was coming out of South Korea during the Olympics was people were talking about, in Asian countries, the consumption of dogs.
00:14:03.000 It became a big hot point issue with a lot of people.
00:14:07.000 Yeah.
00:14:08.000 It is weird that we choose certain animals that it's okay to kill and eat.
00:14:13.000 I could agree more, man.
00:14:14.000 I think that our food hang-ups are so specific to our country.
00:14:18.000 I think about this all the time.
00:14:19.000 But a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich is fried pig's ass.
00:14:26.000 Unfertilized embryo and mold.
00:14:28.000 Well, that's not true.
00:14:29.000 And mold.
00:14:30.000 What do you mean?
00:14:31.000 It's an unfertilized embryo, but nothing has to die.
00:14:34.000 No, nothing has to die.
00:14:35.000 But it's an egg.
00:14:35.000 Yeah, it's an egg.
00:14:36.000 Yeah.
00:14:37.000 And sometimes, you ever crack an egg and there's a little chicken in there?
00:14:41.000 No, I've had little extra things in there.
00:14:44.000 No, I've had like a little gross.
00:14:46.000 Really?
00:14:47.000 Yeah, not like a full chicken, but like, oh, that's going to be a chicken.
00:14:50.000 You know, I was like in my 40s before I knew that an egg couldn't become a chicken.
00:14:54.000 I never thought about it.
00:14:56.000 That's how stupid I was.
00:14:57.000 The rooster had to be in the hen house.
00:14:59.000 I didn't know they laid eggs all the time.
00:15:02.000 I didn't know that until I was in my 40s.
00:15:04.000 Yeah, I don't think I... You gotta be in a farm setting to know that.
00:15:08.000 But you imagine if you were a farmer, what a fucking asshole you would think somebody is that didn't know.
00:15:13.000 They like ripped you off on your chickens?
00:15:15.000 Someone that didn't know.
00:15:16.000 Like, you didn't know that that couldn't just become a chicken.
00:15:19.000 Like, no, I just...
00:15:20.000 It's like, that's one of the things where it's...
00:15:22.000 People that are vegetarians, I urge you to eat eggs.
00:15:25.000 Eat eggs.
00:15:26.000 It's a free ride.
00:15:28.000 They just give up the...
00:15:28.000 They're coming out anyway.
00:15:29.000 They're coming out.
00:15:30.000 They're coming out anyway.
00:15:30.000 If you get it from...
00:15:31.000 You can get it from a place.
00:15:33.000 Like, just like you can get organic grass-fed beef.
00:15:35.000 You can get pasture-raised chickens.
00:15:37.000 They do have that.
00:15:39.000 Then pasture-raised chicken eggs.
00:15:40.000 The yolks come out dark.
00:15:42.000 You just gotta figure out where to get them.
00:15:43.000 They're not as...
00:15:45.000 They're more expensive, but they're not as expensive as meat, right?
00:15:49.000 I mean, they're really good for you, too.
00:15:51.000 The eggs last a surprisingly long time.
00:15:53.000 It's a free ride.
00:15:54.000 The chicken is going to eat all that stuff on the ground, the bugs and all the worms.
00:15:57.000 If you don't want to kill anything, just eat those eggs.
00:16:00.000 Yeah.
00:16:00.000 It's good for you.
00:16:01.000 Very good for you.
00:16:02.000 They're fucking amazing for you.
00:16:04.000 I'm a big egg fan.
00:16:05.000 I'm anti-egg propaganda.
00:16:07.000 I'm a big egg fan.
00:16:08.000 I love eggs.
00:16:09.000 I can eat eggs every morning.
00:16:11.000 I do.
00:16:11.000 I eat them almost every day.
00:16:13.000 I just think that it's one of the most karma-free things.
00:16:19.000 You've got to exchange with these animals.
00:16:21.000 I have an exchange.
00:16:22.000 I give the animals food.
00:16:23.000 They eat the food.
00:16:24.000 They lay the eggs.
00:16:25.000 I'm nice to them.
00:16:26.000 I come into their little caged area.
00:16:28.000 They don't run from me.
00:16:29.000 They come around and give them little treats and shit.
00:16:31.000 They're like pets.
00:16:32.000 They have this really cool life.
00:16:34.000 They get to wander around.
00:16:35.000 Occasionally they get jacked by coyotes.
00:16:37.000 Really?
00:16:38.000 I've had three jacked by coyotes.
00:16:42.000 They're not in a coop.
00:16:43.000 At least two.
00:16:43.000 One of them, I'm suspicious.
00:16:45.000 You don't have them in a coop?
00:16:47.000 Man, it's a fucked up story.
00:16:49.000 I've told it before.
00:16:49.000 I'll briefly tell it again.
00:16:51.000 My mastiff got honeydicked by a female coyote.
00:16:55.000 Oh my god.
00:16:56.000 And he thought the coyote was his buddy.
00:16:59.000 And he got to, now this is, I should say that my gender, you know, like gender identifying with this coyote, I did not have a chance to like really closely examine it.
00:17:11.000 I'm just being, uh...
00:17:14.000 It's for the good of the story.
00:17:15.000 This is what I think.
00:17:16.000 This is my theory.
00:17:17.000 I think it's a littler coyote, and I really think it was a female.
00:17:20.000 It was hanging around my house for a while, and it talked my dog into knocking down a fence.
00:17:25.000 And he's huge.
00:17:26.000 Okay.
00:17:26.000 And when he got through the fence, he got to the chicken coop.
00:17:30.000 And one of the chickens was doing a thing called brooding.
00:17:34.000 And when they brood, they're convinced that if they sit on their egg, that that egg is going to turn into a chicken.
00:17:40.000 They're fucking convinced.
00:17:41.000 They get like a little depressed.
00:17:43.000 They get nutty.
00:17:43.000 Yeah.
00:17:44.000 And what you have to do when they're brooding is you have to take them off of the nest and put them in a cage by themselves with just a perch.
00:17:50.000 So they just sit on the perch for like a day or two, and then it leaves their system.
00:17:54.000 But if you let them lay on it, it'll take like 30 days.
00:17:57.000 It takes so long that they pluck their feathers off.
00:18:02.000 So how often are you monitoring your chickens that you're like, oh, we got a brooder?
00:18:06.000 Oh, it's pretty evident.
00:18:08.000 It's pretty obvious.
00:18:09.000 Yeah, you look at them every day.
00:18:10.000 If one of them is in the hen box, like where they lay their eggs, and she's like getting weird when you get in the air, like...
00:18:18.000 Okay.
00:18:19.000 They're a little weird with you, and they'll peck at you a little bit, like...
00:18:21.000 Yeah.
00:18:22.000 They don't try to hurt you, but they're like, get the fuck away from me.
00:18:25.000 They're protecting what they think is...
00:18:26.000 Yeah, they think there's a baby in there.
00:18:28.000 Oh, man, that's sad.
00:18:28.000 It is.
00:18:29.000 It is.
00:18:30.000 But what's the alternative?
00:18:31.000 You've got a bunch of cocks in your yard, just jacking all these poor hens.
00:18:35.000 They're all running away.
00:18:36.000 Just cock walking around.
00:18:38.000 I'd be watching chicken rape in my backyard 24-7.
00:18:41.000 But maybe like once in a while, bring a cock in to, you know, give them a weekend.
00:18:45.000 What we need is bird birth control.
00:18:48.000 I don't want these chickens shitting out kids.
00:18:50.000 I could bring in a couple of roosters.
00:18:52.000 I'm willing to make a few adjustments.
00:18:54.000 This is what I want.
00:18:54.000 I want sever the rooster's vocal cords.
00:18:58.000 I don't want to hear that shit at 5 o'clock in the morning.
00:19:00.000 Yeah, we know the sun's coming up, you piece of shit.
00:19:02.000 Yeah, Siri told me.
00:19:03.000 Siri told me.
00:19:05.000 And that would be one.
00:19:07.000 And then make it so his dick doesn't work.
00:19:10.000 Like his sperm.
00:19:12.000 What do you call that?
00:19:14.000 Yeah, give him a little fix-it job.
00:19:16.000 Just let him bang it out for pleasure.
00:19:20.000 Occasionally, you'll let one fertile male in.
00:19:22.000 I think a rooster without a voice is not going to be...
00:19:25.000 You're going to have a brooding rooster on your hands.
00:19:28.000 That's going to take what the rooster...
00:19:29.000 It's half of its identity, man.
00:19:32.000 Yeah, what a piece of shit I am.
00:19:34.000 No, I'm just saying like, you know...
00:19:35.000 Denying this rooster.
00:19:36.000 I've seen people who have clipped their dog's vocal cords because their dog barks too much.
00:19:39.000 I've heard of that before.
00:19:40.000 I'm like, that's fucking crazy, man.
00:19:42.000 It is annoying when they bark at you, though.
00:19:44.000 Sure.
00:19:46.000 I wouldn't say try training it.
00:19:47.000 Female chickens have the weirdest birth control method ever.
00:19:50.000 Ooh, what is it?
00:19:51.000 No, what is it?
00:19:53.000 But it's got to be a chemical.
00:19:54.000 Chickens have long known to a time eject sperm after doing the deed.
00:20:00.000 Wow.
00:20:00.000 That wasn't well established.
00:20:02.000 What wasn't well established was the underlying reason for what's technically known as seminal evacuation.
00:20:08.000 I like how they give us the technical term.
00:20:10.000 Because now I understand it better.
00:20:13.000 I would prefer, it's technically turned, just call it shooting jizz.
00:20:17.000 Yeah, the jizz shot.
00:20:19.000 But in a recently published paper, a team led by Oxford researcher Rebecca Dean explains that this behavior is in fact far from random and that the tendency for females to jettison sperm is actually a finely tuned mechanism of post-copulatory sexual selection.
00:20:34.000 Wow.
00:20:35.000 Wow.
00:20:36.000 Wow.
00:20:37.000 That's weird.
00:20:38.000 Dude.
00:20:39.000 Uh...
00:20:41.000 That'd be a weird thing to see, right?
00:20:43.000 Walk into a chicken coop and a chicken just splurts.
00:20:47.000 Shoots a little...
00:20:48.000 What would be the evolutionary advantage?
00:20:51.000 Not that you're a biologist, nor am I. We should probably stop there.
00:20:55.000 What would be the evolutionary advantage of being able to shoot sperm out?
00:20:58.000 Maybe you get a vibe from that rooster that he's an asshole.
00:21:01.000 I wasn't consent.
00:21:04.000 I didn't say yes to that.
00:21:06.000 I'm tired of his bullshit.
00:21:07.000 Who knows?
00:21:08.000 I don't like his crow.
00:21:09.000 We're like...
00:21:10.000 Why did he take me last?
00:21:13.000 You know what I mean?
00:21:13.000 Why did I have to wait for four other, you know, chickens?
00:21:16.000 I wonder if rooster crows are like those, that's what it's called, right?
00:21:21.000 A crow?
00:21:21.000 Yeah, I think so.
00:21:23.000 I wonder if that is like national anthems, in that some people nail it and some people just overdo it.
00:21:31.000 And some chickens kneel during it.
00:21:33.000 Like some hens are just like, Jesus Christ, we get it!
00:21:37.000 You're awake!
00:21:39.000 You're awake.
00:21:40.000 We get it.
00:21:42.000 Yeah, we got it the first time.
00:21:45.000 Oh, say, can you see?
00:21:49.000 Yeah, maybe that's the determining factor.
00:21:52.000 I don't really lie.
00:21:56.000 You know, you're like, nah, it's not supposed to be that long.
00:22:00.000 It's a shorter song than you're doing.
00:22:02.000 You're doing a totally different song.
00:22:04.000 And you're doing that thing with your voice that Simon Cowell would tell you not to do.
00:22:09.000 Yeah, they love that thing, though.
00:22:10.000 100% of the time.
00:22:11.000 I wish I could do that thing.
00:22:13.000 Yeah, when I lived in the East Village in New York City back in the year 2000, 1999, it was...
00:22:20.000 It hadn't really been like a neighborhood that was gentrified or whatever you want to call it at the time, and there was a lot of roosters in the neighborhood.
00:22:30.000 Like these parking lots, they had these empty lots where there were no buildings, and people just had chickens and roosters outside.
00:22:35.000 So I would...
00:22:36.000 I was like, I don't know, 22 years old, sleeping in my apartment in the West Village, in the East Village, rather.
00:22:42.000 And then every morning, I'd wake up to a rooster crowing.
00:22:45.000 Like, every morning.
00:22:46.000 And then after a while, the community started hanging these signs, like, are you sick of the roosters?
00:22:50.000 And then I was like, oh, they're turning on the dudes who own the roosters.
00:22:52.000 Dude.
00:22:53.000 Yeah, which was just not cool, because it was like, those guys had lived there a long time and had roosters, you know?
00:22:58.000 And then there was petitions.
00:22:59.000 You have to agree to that.
00:23:01.000 Petitions.
00:23:01.000 To get rid of the roosters?
00:23:02.000 Yeah, all these rooster petitions.
00:23:04.000 And then over, like, maybe...
00:23:05.000 Year and a half two years was no more roosters.
00:23:08.000 Yeah, one of those like like end of an era things in New York City where people still had like Just wandering chickens in an empty lot it had like hubcaps in it and chickens people don't understand how cool that is I don't know I don't know if I it's like this it's this weird thing that happens in cities where people come in and take all the culture out of it and then complain They're like,
00:23:32.000 what happened to all the cultures?
00:23:33.000 You removed it!
00:23:35.000 You actively came in and removed it to make it as much of a suburban environment so you could have kids in a minivan and all the stuff you would have had in the burbs anyway.
00:23:44.000 When you say that though, isn't it a problem that it's not like one individual that's doing it?
00:23:48.000 It's like a whole movement of economics, right?
00:23:51.000 It's a movement of economics, but there is a lot, in my opinion, of Sort of community-like activism towards making the community the way they envision it to be.
00:24:02.000 So you end up with a lot of science.
00:24:03.000 It's like, we're working on a tomato co-op.
00:24:05.000 And you're like, oh, there's a tomato co-op?
00:24:10.000 They're working on it.
00:24:10.000 I've got to get in on that.
00:24:11.000 So there's a lot of like, I'm not saying that things they're doing are bad, but they're definitely, you know, There's just been a removal of a lot of that stuff.
00:24:19.000 And look, there's this argument about New York City that people go, oh, it used to be better.
00:24:23.000 It's like, no, it was really dangerous.
00:24:26.000 It's better.
00:24:27.000 So there's an up and down to it.
00:24:28.000 It's better unless you were the guy that got shot.
00:24:30.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:24:31.000 And then there's the other part, which is you can...
00:24:34.000 I look at cities like this.
00:24:35.000 It's like you're always building something on top of something else that was already there.
00:24:39.000 To us, it's like, I can't believe that hardware store went out of business.
00:24:42.000 It's like, yeah, well, maybe my grandfather was like, I can't believe they're putting a hardware store in where the horseshoe guy used to be.
00:24:47.000 It's like, oh, really?
00:24:50.000 The telegraph guy's going out?
00:24:51.000 This is bullshit.
00:24:53.000 It's probably something people felt.
00:24:55.000 Anytime you're somewhere first, you always feel like someone's ruining it.
00:24:58.000 Yeah, I think we're in a very interesting time in a lot of amazing ways.
00:25:04.000 And I think we're learning more about people and behavior, I think, than ever before.
00:25:09.000 I think we need to give ourselves a little bit of a break in this, because I think everybody has this feeling like, why haven't we got our shit together?
00:25:17.000 Why haven't we fully evolved?
00:25:20.000 And my take on this is that this is a really recent thing.
00:25:24.000 Like, being aware of what the fuck is going on, just in the general scheme of being in the universe, is a very recent thing.
00:25:33.000 Yep.
00:25:34.000 And what we know about life and what we know about, you know, just our own finite life form, how far it's going to be able to be pushed, how long we can stay alive, you know, how...
00:25:49.000 How easy it is to transfer information from Australia to China to fucking England and back and forth and back and forth.
00:25:56.000 We're in the craziest time ever.
00:25:58.000 And it's all really fucking recent.
00:26:01.000 Really new.
00:26:02.000 20 plus years.
00:26:04.000 If that.
00:26:05.000 Because if you go back 20 years ago, the internet existed, but you couldn't watch a video on it.
00:26:09.000 To me, the smartphone thing is, every day, I'm like, I can't believe I have this thing in my pocket.
00:26:16.000 It's insane.
00:26:17.000 It's like, if you don't Remember what it was like to like you know if there's this whole like vibe where people like Millennials don't get it you know and like I don't know I have the same attention span as a millennial because I'm on my phone like this is joke that adults that adults are better you know and I'm like I don't know like if I did a USO tour in Afghanistan a couple years ago and I Met all those dudes like the soldiers men and women over there and I was like really blown away I was like really impressed this idea that like our best days are behind us all that stuff and I'm going I
00:26:47.000 I don't know, this is a really impressive group of young people who are like fighting for the country, volunteering to fight for the country, and like coming back here, sometimes wounded, sometimes, you know, all the things that they risk going there.
00:26:59.000 But then like you meet them and you're like, these are like, they're not like jarheads, you know, they're like...
00:27:05.000 Sophisticated thinkers and they're trying to be a part of something.
00:27:09.000 I found it very inspiring to be around that.
00:27:12.000 Not like, oh, B-Boy, a bunch of losers.
00:27:15.000 Millennial losers.
00:27:16.000 I was like, these dudes seem awesome.
00:27:18.000 Yeah, I mean, we have a soft life now.
00:27:21.000 So there's going to be a lot of people that are...
00:27:24.000 Ridiculous and you know sure there's always been those people that are weak-willed and they want the world to be nerfed up and Of course pad their feelings you're gonna have that but there's also more people that have an understanding of like That's not a happy,
00:27:40.000 healthy way to live your life.
00:27:42.000 No, it's not.
00:27:42.000 And I also think that reality at some point will always supersede Nerf padding.
00:27:49.000 There's always going to be a pushback on that where you go, look, I don't want to offend anybody.
00:27:53.000 And I do agree that there's a movement by the left that really does push.
00:27:59.000 I did a thing because I'm doing this charity event for like an urban program for kids, mainly inner city black kids.
00:28:10.000 And I'm hosting it with my buddy Mike Yard, who's a really funny comic, black dude.
00:28:14.000 And we went to meet with the guys for this charity and they were telling us that...
00:28:19.000 They have an auction at any charity event.
00:28:22.000 An auctioneer comes out and they try to auction off and raise a lot of money from rich people to help the program.
00:28:26.000 That's basically 99.9% of every charity event I've ever been involved in has an auction segment in the dinner.
00:28:34.000 They were like, we're going to have that, but we can't use the word auction.
00:28:38.000 I said, what do you mean you can't use the word auction?
00:28:41.000 They're like, it's a sensitive word for, you know, the community.
00:28:46.000 And then Yard goes, are you talking about slave auctions?
00:28:49.000 Like his head almost exploded.
00:28:52.000 He was like, wait, we can't, and I was like, wait, we can't say the word auction?
00:28:55.000 I'm like, but aren't you hiring a guy from Sotheby's?
00:28:58.000 Yeah.
00:28:59.000 His card's going to say auctioneer on it.
00:29:01.000 We're just going to pretend that's not what he's called.
00:29:03.000 And they were just like, we just don't feel comfortable with that word in the room.
00:29:06.000 And I was just going, I can't.
00:29:08.000 I said, guys, I got to tell you, you're making me want to vote for Trump.
00:29:12.000 That's what I said.
00:29:13.000 I said, that's how dumb I think this is.
00:29:15.000 I'm like, I'll agree to it because I want to help these kids, but this is one of the dumbest things I've ever heard.
00:29:20.000 Wow.
00:29:20.000 Yeah, I couldn't believe it.
00:29:21.000 I was like, can I say cotton?
00:29:22.000 Am I allowed to say cotton?
00:29:23.000 Cotton.
00:29:24.000 Like, what other words can I say?
00:29:25.000 That's the dumbest thing I ever heard.
00:29:27.000 You're going to get triggered.
00:29:28.000 Auctions.
00:29:29.000 Yeah.
00:29:29.000 Auctions.
00:29:30.000 We're not going to joke around about auctioning off a black person, although Yard and I probably would have.
00:29:37.000 But first of all, when you say auction, you automatically think of that voice, think of that voice, think of that voice, think of that voice.
00:29:41.000 Totally.
00:29:43.000 Do you think they did that when they were doing that with slaves?
00:29:45.000 I do not think they talked like that.
00:29:47.000 I don't know what their technique was, but I do know when I think of the word auction, I'm not like, oh, I don't want to say that.
00:29:53.000 Don't say the A word.
00:29:54.000 Don't say the A word.
00:29:56.000 It's absolutely accepted it's a different thing now.
00:30:00.000 It's like the word gay.
00:30:02.000 It used to be Flintstones gay.
00:30:04.000 Have a gay old time.
00:30:06.000 Having a gay time was like, we're out having a gay old time.
00:30:10.000 And then it became gay, and then you had to stop saying it that way.
00:30:13.000 You can't just go back to gay happy like Flintstones.
00:30:16.000 No, you can't.
00:30:16.000 But gay, for me, growing up, Was the thing we just said about everything all the time.
00:30:21.000 Yeah, everything's gay.
00:30:21.000 Doesn't matter.
00:30:22.000 Like, the only thing you couldn't...
00:30:23.000 But it wasn't good, though.
00:30:25.000 No, it was terrible.
00:30:26.000 But when did gay go bad?
00:30:28.000 I don't know.
00:30:28.000 That's a good question.
00:30:29.000 It went bad after the F word went bad.
00:30:31.000 Did it?
00:30:32.000 Yeah.
00:30:32.000 F word went first.
00:30:33.000 Was it connecting the two of them?
00:30:35.000 Fucking gay?
00:30:35.000 And like, what?
00:30:36.000 No, no, not fucking.
00:30:37.000 I meant the other word for gay people that they get offended by.
00:30:39.000 Oh, you're afraid to say in fact that?
00:30:40.000 No, I'm not afraid to, but I'm just kind of being sarcastic when I say the F word.
00:30:44.000 The other F word.
00:30:44.000 It's like the other white meat.
00:30:46.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:30:48.000 And not that long, it was this idea of if something was stupid, it was gay.
00:30:54.000 It didn't mean homosexual.
00:30:56.000 It meant like, nah, dude, don't be so gay.
00:30:58.000 But then you start thinking about it.
00:30:59.000 Oh, I guess it does.
00:31:00.000 I guess it's offensive because you're saying that stupid shirt you're wearing is gay.
00:31:06.000 Of course it's that way, but isn't it weird that gay took a turn for the worst?
00:31:11.000 Wouldn't you have loved to have been at the intersection when gay went bad?
00:31:14.000 Like, we'll have a gay old time.
00:31:18.000 That's gay.
00:31:19.000 Whoa, what?
00:31:20.000 What are you saying?
00:31:22.000 Like an intersection of thoughts, and the mean one overran it.
00:31:26.000 The mean one beat the happy gay.
00:31:29.000 It did.
00:31:30.000 Gay took that...
00:31:33.000 They took the word gay and turned it into either a negative, like, that's gay, or homosexuality.
00:31:40.000 How was it not connected to homosexuality before?
00:31:44.000 I don't know.
00:31:44.000 I don't know if the connection came from the fact that, like, they were like, oh, those guys are gay.
00:31:49.000 And they were, like, being, like, because they were being, like, really, you know, like, they seemed really happy.
00:31:54.000 They were, like, flamboyant.
00:31:54.000 Like, boy, that guy's gay, huh?
00:31:56.000 He's really gay.
00:31:57.000 Look how gay he is with that shiny shirt on, you know?
00:31:59.000 Hey, that Liberace sure is gay.
00:32:01.000 And then maybe someone was like, I'll show you gay.
00:32:03.000 Next thing you know, people are like, hey, we've got to stop with that word.
00:32:06.000 You know, we should come up with a new word.
00:32:08.000 Gay's a different thing now.
00:32:09.000 Yeah, because I asked a guy to get gay with me, and it got really, really uncomfortable.
00:32:13.000 There had to be, like, a time in between where it was real confusing, right?
00:32:18.000 Where they hadn't fully established what it meant yet.
00:32:20.000 Where people were like, hey, man, are you gay?
00:32:24.000 Yes, I am gay!
00:32:25.000 I'm having a gay old time!
00:32:27.000 And the guy's like, good!
00:32:27.000 And the guy tackles him in the bushes.
00:32:30.000 Yep.
00:32:30.000 Like the word hookup.
00:32:33.000 Yeah.
00:32:34.000 Like right around when I was in high school.
00:32:36.000 But my dad would be like, hey, you're going to hook up with your friends tonight.
00:32:38.000 You know what I mean?
00:32:39.000 And I'd be like, dad, don't say that!
00:32:41.000 You know what I mean?
00:32:41.000 He's like, that's not what it means anymore.
00:32:43.000 He's like, what do you mean?
00:32:43.000 It means meet up with your friends.
00:32:44.000 I'm like, that's not what it means!
00:32:46.000 And all my buddies would be in the room like, hey, you guys going to hook up tonight?
00:32:49.000 And I'm like, don't say that!
00:32:50.000 And everyone's like, dude, your dad's gay!
00:32:51.000 You know?
00:32:55.000 Don't be so gay.
00:32:57.000 That's hilarious.
00:32:58.000 It's so funny.
00:32:58.000 Yeah, a lot of language shifts occur.
00:33:00.000 It does feel like right now there's more policing of it and there's more people...
00:33:04.000 I don't know.
00:33:05.000 The word pussy is one of those.
00:33:09.000 You can't say pussy anymore?
00:33:11.000 No, people get offended by it.
00:33:12.000 You hang around with the wrong people for getting offended by the word pussy, unless you're overusing it.
00:33:16.000 No, no.
00:33:17.000 I'm saying, again, what I say or don't say is what I say or don't say.
00:33:21.000 I take my licks if I have to, but people get offended by it.
00:33:25.000 That's a word now that if you're...
00:33:28.000 If you're in a hardcore leftist community, you wouldn't say pussy anymore.
00:33:32.000 But you'll still say dick.
00:33:34.000 That guy's being a dick.
00:33:35.000 It's like, well, that's offensive.
00:33:37.000 Those communities need a hug.
00:33:39.000 Yeah.
00:33:39.000 I feel like they don't need a hug, actually.
00:33:42.000 I feel like they need...
00:33:44.000 To have too many hugs, you know, and I think there's just too much I think it really it goes back to our lives are easy now So we have a lot of free time to come up with bullshit.
00:33:53.000 Yeah, we do it's like if we had to Actually, we didn't have electricity or we'd have like all this ease.
00:33:59.000 We wouldn't be You know harping on this stuff.
00:34:02.000 It's just like you have a lot of downtime a lot of downtime So you're like I'll start a blog.
00:34:06.000 I think I'll start blogging about words You shouldn't say we have so much Surplus.
00:34:12.000 That one of our biggest problems is that we eat too much food and we get too big.
00:34:18.000 Yep.
00:34:18.000 That's like one of the number one health problems that humans have.
00:34:21.000 Like, this is how much surplus we have.
00:34:24.000 Even though I know people have it hard and there's people that are starving all over the world, I'm aware.
00:34:28.000 But just in general, especially in America, what is like one of our number one problems is people just eat too much.
00:34:35.000 And when we talk about people starving in America, and you think about how much food is wasted and thrown out.
00:34:41.000 Anthony Bourdain's doing a documentary on it.
00:34:43.000 Yeah, there's no...
00:34:45.000 Yeah, it's such a strange concept that there's like no internal desire to...
00:34:51.000 You know, it's like why I get annoyed at the Christian right.
00:34:54.000 You know, they're always like, oh, abortions are...
00:34:56.000 You're killing babies.
00:34:57.000 What we need to do is have those babies and support young mothers who support young single moms.
00:35:03.000 I'm like, when's the last time you fucking volunteered to support a young single mom who had a baby?
00:35:09.000 Christian dude posting on Twitter.
00:35:11.000 When's the last time you give a Saturday of your day to take that kid to the zoo?
00:35:15.000 Bullshit!
00:35:16.000 You say it, but they don't fucking do anything about it.
00:35:18.000 Well, it's a nice little box to put yourself in for some people.
00:35:21.000 They think they're a good person because they're a Christian.
00:35:24.000 But how much do you really act on it?
00:35:26.000 But you're taking your day to stand outside Planned Parenthood with a sign.
00:35:29.000 Why not take the day to go help that kid who didn't get aborted and his mom can't feed him?
00:35:34.000 Why not stop by there instead of holding a sign about the devil in front of a fucking clinic for women?
00:35:40.000 It's just weird.
00:35:41.000 It is weird.
00:35:43.000 It's a weird thing that you can do it, too, right?
00:35:45.000 I mean, that's one of the weird things about people is that we know that if we don't do anything and we take care of ourselves, a baby's coming.
00:35:52.000 And, like, if you get the first countdown, like, countdown, like, it's almost like we agree that there's, like, levels to the countdown.
00:36:00.000 Like, in the first couple of days, no one gives a shit.
00:36:02.000 Just pull the plug!
00:36:03.000 Pull the plug!
00:36:04.000 And then everyone's looking at everybody like, you feel okay?
00:36:07.000 What happened?
00:36:08.000 What happened?
00:36:09.000 Yeah.
00:36:09.000 It's not that big of a deal.
00:36:10.000 It's like, how many cells was it?
00:36:12.000 It was only four cells at the time.
00:36:14.000 Like, okay, four cells is not a lot of cells.
00:36:16.000 And you start thinking, I don't think it really ever can be four cells.
00:36:20.000 But you get my point.
00:36:21.000 A tiny little thing.
00:36:22.000 And then when does it become, when do you decide that's a person?
00:36:26.000 I get, by the way...
00:36:27.000 What it looks like one?
00:36:28.000 Listen, I get the argument and...
00:36:31.000 I do think that I have my own personal philosophy on how I would handle a situation.
00:36:38.000 If you were a woman?
00:36:40.000 No, no, no.
00:36:40.000 I'm saying if I was in a relationship with a woman and she got pregnant and didn't want to have the kid or did want to have the kid, at the end of the day, we'd have a conversation together, and if she was dead set on doing it, then...
00:36:50.000 We're going to do it.
00:36:50.000 But my point being, I do believe that it's a weird thing to just tell other people what they're supposed to do or not.
00:36:57.000 I feel that way about gay marriage.
00:36:59.000 I feel that way about everything.
00:37:00.000 It's a strange thing to be able to dictate to someone else how they're supposed to live.
00:37:06.000 Agreed.
00:37:07.000 Because there's too many people doing that, man.
00:37:09.000 Like, we got the right doing it through the Christian right, and then we got the left doing it through, you know, all their movements.
00:37:14.000 And it's like, I think the reason most people are so annoyed in the country isn't, like, even political.
00:37:18.000 It's like they're just sick of people telling them how to live.
00:37:20.000 You know, it's like, I get it.
00:37:22.000 I can't say that.
00:37:22.000 Oh, you want me to not have a gun?
00:37:24.000 You hate guns.
00:37:25.000 It's like, everyone, just fucking stop.
00:37:28.000 It's like, we need, like, just like a national timeout for five minutes.
00:37:31.000 I think We're just learning how to use this thing, man.
00:37:34.000 We're learning how to integrate society into this kind of communication that we share right now.
00:37:39.000 We're still figuring it out.
00:37:40.000 I did talk about that with somebody the other day.
00:37:43.000 I was actually just doing a set on stage, and I was riffing a little bit about how we talk about the Second Amendment a lot, and the Founding Fathers didn't know.
00:37:51.000 We were going to have assault rifles.
00:37:53.000 They didn't have the foresight to see that, so we have to rethink what that means.
00:37:56.000 And it's like, well, they didn't know we were going to have Twitter.
00:37:59.000 So, like, maybe we have to rethink what the First Amendment means.
00:38:01.000 They didn't know every fucking moron was going to have the ability to say stuff out loud on a national level.
00:38:07.000 Just to use the Internet.
00:38:08.000 I mean, imagine how easy it was to govern people before the Internet came around.
00:38:11.000 Must have been so much easier.
00:38:13.000 Yeah, just lie to them.
00:38:13.000 Yeah, lie to them.
00:38:14.000 They have almost no access to the truth.
00:38:16.000 What do you get?
00:38:17.000 What Walter Cronkite tells you, bitch.
00:38:19.000 That's all you get.
00:38:19.000 Yeah, that's what you get.
00:38:20.000 It's like the entertainment industry.
00:38:22.000 It used to be like, you want to hear a song?
00:38:24.000 Merv Griffin and Dick Clark will let you know what songs you can hear.
00:38:26.000 If you were on the side of the people that are anti-abortion, there's one side of you that has to logically interpret that if these people really did feel like babies were being murdered, like it was their perspective that babies were being murdered, If you completely ignore that perspective and just try to say it's a woman's health issue,
00:38:46.000 I almost get where their mind is at.
00:38:51.000 I don't think that they should be interfering in anybody's life, especially when something is legal and people already voted on by abortion.
00:38:57.000 Yeah, and they fundamentally believe that's what's happening, and you can see how if you thought babies were being killed up the street, you'd be like, we can't allow this to happen.
00:39:04.000 But what I'm saying is...
00:39:05.000 But they'll tell you that they are babies.
00:39:07.000 Yeah.
00:39:07.000 And the problem with that argument is it holds some water.
00:39:11.000 Sure.
00:39:12.000 Like, you really have to...
00:39:13.000 If you're going to be a rational person, and I'm 100% pro-choice, but as a rational person, you have to look at what it actually is.
00:39:20.000 If you don't, then we're playing a game.
00:39:22.000 The game is, you want your side to be correct.
00:39:25.000 But the reality is, this is a very complicated, weird thing.
00:39:29.000 Yeah.
00:39:29.000 There's like a life in your body.
00:39:31.000 And for sure, a guy shouldn't be able to tell a girl what she can do.
00:39:34.000 I totally agree with that.
00:39:34.000 You can't tell a woman she has to keep it.
00:39:36.000 People have already aborted babies.
00:39:38.000 There's a precedent for it.
00:39:39.000 You can't tell them what they can do.
00:39:40.000 All you can do is support their decision.
00:39:42.000 Or...
00:39:42.000 You can weigh in.
00:39:43.000 I think if you're their dad, you can weigh in on what you want, but at the end of the day, she's going to decide what she wants to do, and you've just got to agree with it.
00:39:49.000 Yeah.
00:39:49.000 I think that's the move.
00:39:51.000 I think, you know...
00:39:54.000 It's just...
00:39:55.000 It's a very complicated thing.
00:39:57.000 A life form that will eventually become a person is inside your body.
00:40:02.000 What do you do?
00:40:03.000 Can you imagine we had to make that decision?
00:40:05.000 Yeah.
00:40:05.000 We're lucky that chicks do it, because we don't think correctly for that proposition.
00:40:10.000 We have no ability to weigh those options.
00:40:12.000 But I do think that the...
00:40:15.000 When I think about that, I agree with you, and I think most issues in the country are like that, and that's the whole problem.
00:40:21.000 There's no rationality on either side, right?
00:40:23.000 There's no rational center.
00:40:25.000 Right, like for example, people will...
00:40:27.000 You know, look, there's a lot going on with Trump and Russia and all that stuff.
00:40:30.000 Wait, what have you heard?
00:40:33.000 And then people will post something, yeah, well, about Obama scandals.
00:40:37.000 And then someone on the left will be like, he had no scandals.
00:40:39.000 And then someone will list like five scandals and go, yeah, those were scandals.
00:40:42.000 Like, you can't just pretend that like that Fast and the Furious thing was good.
00:40:47.000 That was bad!
00:40:48.000 If you really like muscle cars, it's fun to watch.
00:40:51.000 You know that Obama thing where he gave all the guns?
00:40:55.000 Oh, that's right.
00:40:55.000 They lost all those guns.
00:40:57.000 And some of them were used to kill people.
00:40:58.000 Yeah, so it's like, I don't know.
00:41:00.000 What was the logic behind that?
00:41:02.000 They were going to trace them?
00:41:03.000 Yeah, it's like an Iran-Contra-Contra.
00:41:05.000 Did you see that movie, by the way?
00:41:06.000 But was it a scam, or was it a thing where they were trying to give them guns that they could trace?
00:41:10.000 They could trace, and then they instantly couldn't trace them.
00:41:12.000 They just gave a lot of guns.
00:41:14.000 I think that was the gist of it.
00:41:16.000 Can you imagine if that was just really a gun?
00:41:19.000 I mean, some people do think it was.
00:41:20.000 Like, just an illegal arms sale that happened right under our nose.
00:41:23.000 Yeah.
00:41:24.000 Can you imagine if that's really what it is?
00:41:25.000 I mean, did you watch that?
00:41:26.000 I just watched it the other night, that Tom Cruise movie, American Maid.
00:41:29.000 No, I did not, but I know what it's about.
00:41:31.000 It's the first good Tom Cruise movie he's had out, I think, in a couple years.
00:41:35.000 Really?
00:41:35.000 Yeah, because he's kind of a dark character.
00:41:37.000 He's not like a hero.
00:41:38.000 I know the Barry Seale story.
00:41:40.000 Yeah, it's what this story is.
00:41:43.000 He's like a pilot who basically...
00:41:46.000 The CIA was like, hey, you're a really good pilot, and we need a guy to bring some guns to the...
00:41:52.000 It's all the precursor of the Iran-Contra thing, which as a kid I remember hearing all about, but then understanding it at a better level, which was us trying to arm rebels, which we've been doing for...
00:42:02.000 We are Bin Laden against the Russians.
00:42:04.000 We've been arming rebels for a long time.
00:42:06.000 Yeah, that's our move, right?
00:42:06.000 Yeah, big time.
00:42:08.000 So he became the dude the CIA asked to do that.
00:42:12.000 And he was like, you've got to pay me more money.
00:42:13.000 And the guy was like, you'll figure it out.
00:42:15.000 And then all of a sudden, he would land to bring the guns.
00:42:17.000 And the dudes would be like, hey, we want you to bring Escobar and his crew.
00:42:22.000 We're like, Pablo Escobar.
00:42:23.000 We're like, hey, as long as you're bringing us guns, we also want you on your flight home to bring 1,500 pounds of cocaine to church.
00:42:31.000 And then he was like, I'm not going to do that, no thanks.
00:42:34.000 And they were like, 2,000 bucks a kilo.
00:42:37.000 And he was like, how many kilos is it?
00:42:39.000 1,500 pounds?
00:42:40.000 And it became like this insane two-way smuggler who's smuggling guns in and drugs out, guns in and drugs out.
00:42:46.000 It's a really interesting story.
00:42:48.000 What do you think happens today?
00:42:50.000 Do you think that stuff like that is still going on today?
00:42:53.000 Or do you think that when it happened...
00:42:56.000 Like, they figured out that it was a bunch of cowboys, like CIA operatives, that were just trying to make some money on the side, or do you think it's, like, a systematic...
00:43:04.000 I think that it's, like...
00:43:05.000 I think that it's human error.
00:43:07.000 I think that, like, people...
00:43:09.000 That's why I'm not, like, a big conspiracy theorist, because it's, like...
00:43:12.000 I don't think...
00:43:13.000 The government's organized enough.
00:43:15.000 It's always weird to me when people who think the government sucks, who want small government, they want the government...
00:43:20.000 The government mishandles everything.
00:43:22.000 They don't know how to do this.
00:43:23.000 They don't know how to do this.
00:43:23.000 They can't manage traffic lights.
00:43:27.000 Whatever they think the government can't do.
00:43:28.000 They can't do healthcare.
00:43:29.000 They're idiots.
00:43:30.000 They're idiots.
00:43:30.000 Private sector.
00:43:31.000 And then they're like, but there's a giant government conspiracy where all the government knows this thing.
00:43:35.000 And I'm like, if they can't fucking manage traffic lights, how are they pulling off like...
00:43:40.000 A fake moon landing or whatever.
00:43:42.000 It's like that kind of stuff to me.
00:43:45.000 It's like you're perpetuating two very different views of an extremely competent, clandestine group of people who can achieve these dark, shadowy things without anyone knowing or bumbling morons.
00:43:56.000 But they're the same people.
00:43:58.000 They're government workers.
00:43:59.000 So I don't know.
00:44:00.000 I think some CIA... The story behind going into Iraq is interesting.
00:44:04.000 Like a CIA operative had a theory about...
00:44:08.000 Where have been, I mean, not Osama, the fucking other dude.
00:44:11.000 Saddam Hussein.
00:44:12.000 Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction.
00:44:15.000 He had a theory, and he was an analyst at the CIA, and he wrote up this whole document, and they read it, and they were like, yeah, this is bullshit, like, we have no proof of any of this, thank you.
00:44:24.000 And he was so mad they did that, that he published it on the internet.
00:44:28.000 Just leaked it to the internet.
00:44:30.000 And then that story got on the internet.
00:44:31.000 And then a dude in Australia, who was a spy, or like a guy from Australia, and another guy from Afghanistan or Iraq, read it on the internet, came to America and said, I have all the secrets of what he's doing.
00:44:45.000 And he just used that guy's document that he read online and told the CIA. And then the guy came in and goes, he has weapons here, weapons here, weapons here.
00:44:54.000 And then that analyst goes, holy shit, I was right.
00:44:58.000 Meanwhile, he's quoting him his own report.
00:45:00.000 So then he goes back to Cheney and he goes, we've got this dude talking to the Germans saying all the things I theorized.
00:45:06.000 And then that's the guy Curveball.
00:45:08.000 We listen to a dude named Curveball.
00:45:10.000 So like, that's how the whole fucking thing went down.
00:45:12.000 And basically, some dude tricked us.
00:45:15.000 He actually didn't know anything, but it was too late.
00:45:18.000 We like...
00:45:19.000 Went off the information that a dude read off the internet from a guy who was mad they wouldn't take his info, which was wrong, which is why there were no weapons of mess to show you there.
00:45:27.000 That is so crazy.
00:45:27.000 It's just a crazy...
00:45:28.000 So yeah, I think that shit happens all the time, but I don't think it's...
00:45:31.000 I just think they're sloppy government employees.
00:45:34.000 Well, I think you're dealing with a bunch of different things.
00:45:36.000 Some of them are sloppy government employees.
00:45:39.000 Some of them are not.
00:45:39.000 Some of them are brilliant.
00:45:41.000 I mean, there's that too.
00:45:42.000 Like Robert Mueller is brilliant.
00:45:44.000 Yeah, there's a ton of them.
00:45:45.000 There's a ton of them that are brilliant.
00:45:47.000 But you're also going to have cowboys, and this is what I think.
00:45:50.000 When you find out about these CIA drug deals gone bad, where, did you see that one where the plane crashed in Mexico?
00:45:56.000 They wouldn't let them refuel, they wouldn't let them land to refuel, because they kind of knew maybe that they were smuggling drugs.
00:46:02.000 And they made them crash.
00:46:03.000 And the plane wound up crashing, and it had...
00:46:05.000 How many tons of cocaine did it have in it?
00:46:07.000 And people are like, this is proof the CIA sells cocaine.
00:46:10.000 I'm like, no, it's proof those guys flying that plane had cocaine.
00:46:14.000 Right.
00:46:14.000 The real question is, did they just get too loosey-goosey traveling back and forth to South America, a little too tight with some people that had a little bit too much money, and they realized we could fucking do this, so we could do this, and no one would suspect it.
00:46:25.000 Well, that's the thing, though.
00:46:27.000 5.5 tons of cocaine.
00:46:29.000 Jesus Christ.
00:46:30.000 5.5 tons.
00:46:32.000 Wow.
00:46:33.000 That's a lot.
00:46:33.000 Isn't that 11 pounds?
00:46:35.000 How many thousand pounds?
00:46:37.000 11,000?
00:46:38.000 Yeah.
00:46:38.000 2,000 times five and a half.
00:46:40.000 Is that what it is?
00:46:41.000 Yeah.
00:46:42.000 11,000 pounds of fucking cocaine!
00:46:45.000 Dude, I tell you- That's insane!
00:46:47.000 Show the pictures of the crash because it's crazy.
00:46:49.000 This is nuts.
00:46:49.000 When was this?
00:46:50.000 Giant bricks of coke.
00:46:51.000 Man, I want to say like 2005?
00:46:53.000 2006. 2006. 2006. But the Barry Seale story was he's just a pilot.
00:46:57.000 Yes.
00:46:57.000 So a CIA operative who's trying to make connections with them, do his mission, which is given to him, which is arm these rebels.
00:47:04.000 So five guys in the CIA have to try to figure out how to arm rebels.
00:47:08.000 So he approaches this pilot that he hears is a good pilot who flies for TWA. And he goes, hey man, you're now in the CIA. But he's not really in the CIA. He's not part of the CIA. He's just a pilot that this guy subcontracts.
00:47:20.000 And then he doesn't tell the bosses how he's getting the guns in.
00:47:23.000 So he just made up a little thing.
00:47:24.000 He has his own budget to do his own little thing.
00:47:27.000 And he finds this dude.
00:47:28.000 So it's not like Barry Seal was a CIA guy flying cocaine.
00:47:31.000 He was just a pilot that the CIA told.
00:47:33.000 And only one guy from the CIA told it to him.
00:47:35.000 And then...
00:47:37.000 It's a crazy story, you know?
00:47:39.000 And then he's doing it, and then he starts making his little side business.
00:47:41.000 And this guy looks the other way because he just wants Barry delivering the guns.
00:47:45.000 And then after a while, as it starts to fall apart, the CIA is like, burn everything with Barry Seale's name on it.
00:47:53.000 We've never had connection to Barry Seale in our entire life.
00:47:56.000 That's all the coke that they got off that plane.
00:47:58.000 That's nuts, man.
00:47:59.000 That looks like luggage for an army.
00:48:03.000 Doesn't it?
00:48:05.000 Like an army troop, and like, boys, this is your gear!
00:48:08.000 And it's all rolled up in these giant bags.
00:48:11.000 Isn't it so funny, though, that like...
00:48:13.000 That is crazy.
00:48:14.000 People still think a wall's gonna work.
00:48:16.000 It's like how many drugs were coming in on an airplane.
00:48:19.000 Well, just the fact that the airplane was...
00:48:22.000 A CIA airplane.
00:48:23.000 Did they have in the movie, did they have the reason why the whole scheme got busted in the first place?
00:48:29.000 Do you know the story?
00:48:30.000 Yeah, I mean, I don't know if it's like a spoiler for listeners, but I'll tell you.
00:48:33.000 Well, the real story about the kids that were murdered?
00:48:36.000 The kids that were murdered where?
00:48:37.000 That wasn't in the movie?
00:48:38.000 I don't think so.
00:48:39.000 One of the ways this whole thing came apart was two kids were apparently in the woods when they made a drop.
00:48:47.000 And these kids saw a drop, and they were murdered, and they were stabbed, and then they left their bodies on the train tracks.
00:48:53.000 And their bodies were run over by train tracks, and then the parents got an autopsy.
00:48:57.000 And the autopsy showed that at least one of the kids had been stabbed.
00:49:01.000 Wow.
00:49:02.000 And so they realized something.
00:49:04.000 Yeah.
00:49:05.000 They realized something had happened.
00:49:06.000 Was it New Orleans where the kids got killed?
00:49:08.000 No, it was Mena, Arkansas.
00:49:10.000 Okay.
00:49:10.000 Oh, that's the Mena part of it.
00:49:12.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:49:12.000 That's where the drop was.
00:49:13.000 The drop was apparently in Mena, Arkansas.
00:49:16.000 So they killed these kids, and then this whole thing happened, and then the whole thing fell apart, and then people started looking into it, and then Barry Seals was murdered, actually, as he was heading to court to testify.
00:49:26.000 Well, yeah, he...
00:49:27.000 This is an amazing thriller, like a Tom Clancy novel.
00:49:30.000 Yeah, it's a really good...
00:49:31.000 And it's done well.
00:49:32.000 The movie's done well, and...
00:49:34.000 But they don't mention the murdered kids.
00:49:36.000 They skip, like, Mena, Arkansas is the place where the CIA moves them, and then...
00:49:41.000 Well, I hope I'm not remembering this wrong, but I think that was the reason why they got busted.
00:49:45.000 Could be.
00:49:46.000 I'm saying, in the movie, that's not mentioned.
00:49:48.000 But, like, you know, that's the creative license of making a movie.
00:49:51.000 They're like, eh.
00:49:51.000 Oh, man, I hate when they do that.
00:49:53.000 I hate when they do that, when it's a real-life situation.
00:49:56.000 Did you ever see that wrestling movie with Steve Carell?
00:49:59.000 What the fuck was that called?
00:50:00.000 The Wrestler?
00:50:01.000 No, no, no.
00:50:02.000 With Steve Carell and...
00:50:04.000 Oh, he's the DuPont guy?
00:50:06.000 Yeah, John DuPont.
00:50:07.000 Oh, fuck.
00:50:07.000 What's the name of that movie?
00:50:10.000 Foxcatcher.
00:50:10.000 Foxcatcher.
00:50:11.000 Foxcatcher.
00:50:12.000 Never would have gotten that.
00:50:13.000 Yeah, they did that in that movie.
00:50:17.000 Where they cut out key details?
00:50:19.000 Yeah, well they changed a big part of the ending where Mark Schultz...
00:50:23.000 It's a UFC fight, a famous UFC fight, where Mark Schultz, who was just top of the food chain wrestler, fought this guy Big Daddy Goodrich, who's a really well-known MMA guy, just totally dominated him.
00:50:35.000 And in the movie, he's fighting some white guy.
00:50:39.000 Like some made-up guy.
00:50:41.000 They just changed it?
00:50:41.000 They just changed the guy.
00:50:42.000 So they maybe not get the rights to the...
00:50:44.000 Other guy's name or something?
00:50:45.000 It doesn't matter.
00:50:46.000 Then don't have that scene.
00:50:48.000 Take it out.
00:50:48.000 I know what the fuck the history of this was.
00:50:50.000 Now, if you lied to me about something so insignificant as who the guy was that he fought in the UFC, what else are you lying about?
00:51:00.000 Agreed.
00:51:01.000 This is so stupid to do.
00:51:02.000 It's a real story.
00:51:03.000 Did you ever see that movie with Marky Mark and The Rock?
00:51:08.000 I'm being serious.
00:51:09.000 Should I call him Marky Mark?
00:51:11.000 I think it's Mark Wahlberg and the Rock.
00:51:14.000 And it's based on a true story.
00:51:17.000 It came out like two, three years ago.
00:51:18.000 It's really good.
00:51:19.000 And in the middle of the movie, it's one of the coolest things I've ever seen done in a true story movie.
00:51:24.000 They're doing this absurd thing.
00:51:26.000 They're jumping off a rooftop together.
00:51:27.000 And it just pauses.
00:51:29.000 And then a text comes up and says, This all happened.
00:51:32.000 This is still a true story.
00:51:34.000 It reminds you in the middle of the movie.
00:51:37.000 Pain and Gain is what it was called.
00:51:38.000 Oh, Pain and Gain, yeah.
00:51:39.000 Oh, that was a fun movie, man.
00:51:40.000 Pump and Dump or something.
00:51:41.000 I knew it was something like that.
00:51:43.000 Is this the part?
00:51:44.000 This is just the trailer.
00:51:46.000 Oh, the trailer.
00:51:46.000 Dude, this is a fun movie.
00:51:47.000 I forgot about this movie.
00:51:48.000 It's a great movie.
00:51:49.000 Yeah, underrated.
00:51:50.000 It was like one of my favorite movies that he did.
00:51:51.000 Yeah.
00:51:51.000 It's a fun-ass movie.
00:51:53.000 Yep.
00:51:54.000 The Rock's good, man.
00:51:55.000 I like The Rock.
00:51:55.000 I love The Rock.
00:51:57.000 In the middle of the movie, they pause it and they go, this is still a true story.
00:52:02.000 Like, this happened.
00:52:03.000 Which is cool, because it gets almost inconceivable after a while.
00:52:07.000 I think The Rock is going to be our president.
00:52:08.000 I think The Rock should be our president.
00:52:10.000 I think he can pull it off.
00:52:11.000 And I'm not joking.
00:52:13.000 I'm not joking either, man.
00:52:14.000 I'm tired of all this serious political discussion.
00:52:17.000 You're in good hands with The Rock.
00:52:19.000 My patience for real politics has waned.
00:52:21.000 Mm-hmm.
00:52:22.000 Look, we're on our way there.
00:52:23.000 You've seen Idiocracy, right?
00:52:25.000 We're on our way to...
00:52:25.000 Dude, I still haven't fucking seen that.
00:52:27.000 Oh, wow.
00:52:27.000 You will love that movie.
00:52:29.000 I know I would.
00:52:29.000 I got salty.
00:52:32.000 Because when I had a bit that was the same premise of that, it was about dumb people out fucking all the smart people.
00:52:37.000 Really?
00:52:37.000 And one day we wake up and all the power's off, and no one knows how to turn it back on.
00:52:42.000 That would annoy me, too, if it was your bit.
00:52:44.000 It's stupid, because it's not my bit they stole.
00:52:47.000 No, it's the concept.
00:52:48.000 It's just parallel.
00:52:48.000 Yeah.
00:52:48.000 Parallel thinking.
00:52:49.000 It's an obvious concept if you think that people are out, if you think that people are getting dumber, and that dumb people are having more kids.
00:52:57.000 It's just, it's inevitable.
00:52:58.000 Yeah, and they are.
00:52:59.000 Yeah.
00:53:00.000 That's very true.
00:53:01.000 And I traced it back to the pyramid, like the whole thing was like, that the smart people just died, and then when the dumb people showed up at the pyramid, and then they just moved in.
00:53:11.000 Nobody even lives here.
00:53:12.000 Yeah, like the alien culture that created it.
00:53:14.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:53:14.000 Then a bunch of fat dudes were like, yeah, these look good.
00:53:17.000 Yeah, the idiot workers of Egypt.
00:53:19.000 They all stumbled in.
00:53:20.000 Yeah, we built this a couple generations ago.
00:53:23.000 We're the best.
00:53:24.000 That's so funny.
00:53:25.000 That's still, to me, if I had one time in, like, if you could go back in a time machine and go to one place in history and see something, I think it would have to be Egypt while they were building the pyramids.
00:53:36.000 Mm-hmm.
00:53:36.000 I would just love to have seen what that culture was like.
00:53:39.000 It's so hard to tell.
00:53:40.000 I mean, you look at all the stone and everything, right?
00:53:42.000 Even if you were standing there.
00:53:43.000 I've never been to Egypt, but I've been to Chichen Itza.
00:53:46.000 It's kind of the same feeling you get where you're like, what was it like when this place was popping?
00:53:51.000 What did this feel like?
00:53:53.000 These people have built these crazy structures.
00:53:55.000 What was a normal day for them?
00:53:57.000 You know, it's funny.
00:53:58.000 I didn't realize it.
00:54:00.000 I watched the documentary about The pyramids, and not the one, what's the aliens and...
00:54:07.000 Which one?
00:54:08.000 Nazis and aliens.
00:54:09.000 What's that one on, like, the guy with the crazy hair?
00:54:12.000 Oh, oh, oh, ancient aliens.
00:54:14.000 Giorgio.
00:54:15.000 Shout out to Giorgio Tsoukalos.
00:54:17.000 Yeah, and it's like, ancient astronaut theorists, surmise.
00:54:20.000 That's not real people.
00:54:21.000 That's not really a sentence, you know?
00:54:24.000 He's fairly reasonable when you talk to him.
00:54:26.000 Giorgio is just a lover of all possibilities UFO. That's an hour's worth of a show.
00:54:32.000 They're on like season 11. Oh, they're season 89 right now.
00:54:35.000 They're skimping now.
00:54:36.000 The first one with the Nazca lines, it's pretty interesting.
00:54:40.000 But now they're like, ancient astronauts fear it surmised that palm trees were brought here.
00:54:45.000 And you're like, just stop.
00:54:47.000 You did it.
00:54:48.000 You finished it.
00:54:48.000 If ghost shows are still on the air, let them be on the air.
00:54:52.000 Because at least they're showing cool old buildings and shit and stone structures.
00:54:55.000 Could it be possible that aliens constructed this?
00:54:59.000 Yeah.
00:54:59.000 Not one ghost, man.
00:55:01.000 At least we have some cool rocks to look at where you look at like, you know, what are those giant stones in, is it Peru?
00:55:08.000 Stonehenge?
00:55:09.000 No, no, no.
00:55:10.000 Stonehenge is in England.
00:55:11.000 There's some crazy structures somewhere in South America that Giorgio was talking to us about.
00:55:20.000 And it was one of the reasons why some people speculate that it's possible that some of the things that are constructed that we really don't have any idea how ancient primitive man did were actually constructed by someone from another planet.
00:55:31.000 Yeah.
00:55:32.000 Which I don't think is any less reasonable than people thinking God sent, like, pointed his finger and was like, Giraffes!
00:55:39.000 You're right about that.
00:55:40.000 You're right about that.
00:55:40.000 Like, half the world believes that.
00:55:43.000 You're right about that, but it's more reasonable to think that it was done by people.
00:55:46.000 Because we know people are a real thing, and we know people have built a lot of shit.
00:55:50.000 Yeah.
00:55:51.000 So, yeah, this is it.
00:55:52.000 This is the exact structure.
00:55:53.000 These fucking stones, they're not just cut and placed perfectly, but they're in, fit together like a jigsaw puzzle.
00:56:01.000 And somehow or another, they carved and moved these enormous stones.
00:56:05.000 And if you stand right next to them, like, there's some photos of people standing next to them.
00:56:10.000 Stand right next to them, apparently, they just tower over people.
00:56:12.000 So, these were all done, you know, who knows how many thousands of years ago.
00:56:17.000 But isn't there, like...
00:56:19.000 A reasonable thing to think that, like, maybe they had technology that is lost to time?
00:56:23.000 Yeah, that's a reasonable thing to think, for sure.
00:56:25.000 Like, in other words, like, if our civilization crumbles and in 2,000 years people dig it up, and they find the Empire State Building, they'll be like, how'd they do it?
00:56:34.000 They're not gonna find, like, a backhoe.
00:56:35.000 Look at this picture.
00:56:37.000 Look at these fucking stones.
00:56:39.000 Amazing.
00:56:39.000 Go back to the other one with the person in front of us so you can see the perspective.
00:56:43.000 Look how big that shit is.
00:56:45.000 Holy shit.
00:56:46.000 I did not think it was that big.
00:56:47.000 They're so big, dude.
00:56:48.000 It looked like a staircase.
00:56:50.000 And this was one of Giorgio's things.
00:56:52.000 He was saying, like, we don't have the technology to do this right now.
00:56:56.000 Like, if you wanted to get someone to go out there and move those giant stones and cut them and place them, I mean, we kind of have the technology, but holy shit, would it take a lot of money?
00:57:06.000 Would it take giant fucking cranes?
00:57:08.000 It would take forever.
00:57:09.000 Look at what they did.
00:57:10.000 They did this whole structure.
00:57:12.000 Of all these things.
00:57:13.000 Then you gotta get the guys to show up.
00:57:15.000 Think about how hard it is to get your kitchen done, you know?
00:57:17.000 The guy's like, I need two more weeks, you know, my stone guy's out of town.
00:57:20.000 How long would it take to build something that fucking crazy?
00:57:23.000 I don't know.
00:57:24.000 And so the idea was that Aliens came here, built some things, fucked with our DNA, and got ghost.
00:57:33.000 See ya!
00:57:33.000 Fucked some early man.
00:57:35.000 Yeah, gave some early man a couple of pokes.
00:57:37.000 Exactly.
00:57:38.000 Like the coyote in your backyard.
00:57:40.000 I didn't finish that story.
00:57:43.000 So the brooding chicken that was in that cage, she honey-dicked my mastiff into smashing open the cage.
00:57:50.000 Because the mastiff just smashed the cage.
00:57:52.000 She was trying to get at the cage, where the chicken was.
00:57:55.000 The coyote was.
00:57:56.000 Oh, the coyote was.
00:57:57.000 And my master was like, I got this, and just smashed the fucking thing and tore it open.
00:58:01.000 And then she was running out the backyard with the chicken in her mouth and hopped the fence.
00:58:06.000 And I saw her hop the fence with the chicken in her mouth.
00:58:08.000 I'm like, I'm living in a goddamn Disney movie.
00:58:10.000 You are.
00:58:10.000 Look at this.
00:58:11.000 Yeah.
00:58:11.000 I just watched a coyote snatch a chicken from the backyard.
00:58:14.000 From your yard.
00:58:15.000 Yeah, that's badass.
00:58:16.000 Ooh, it was wild.
00:58:17.000 Yeah.
00:58:17.000 But the crazy thing is my fucking dog standing over there.
00:58:19.000 I was like, asshole.
00:58:21.000 What the fuck did you do?
00:58:22.000 He's like, I don't know.
00:58:23.000 She's nice to you.
00:58:24.000 She's serious.
00:58:25.000 We're having some fun.
00:58:25.000 It's cool to kill chickens.
00:58:28.000 Yeah, man.
00:58:28.000 Animals are animals.
00:58:29.000 You can't really expect much more from a dog.
00:58:32.000 He's like, I don't know.
00:58:33.000 That dude wanted a chicken.
00:58:35.000 Just trying to help.
00:58:36.000 These stones, what part of the world is it, Jamie?
00:58:38.000 So people can look at it.
00:58:39.000 It's in Peru.
00:58:40.000 Peru.
00:58:40.000 And what's the name of the structures?
00:58:42.000 It's like something Taiyu.
00:58:45.000 God, I wish I could remember.
00:58:46.000 It's in the Cusco district, Cusco.
00:58:49.000 I can't want to try to say that.
00:58:51.000 Peru's got some cool stuff.
00:58:53.000 That's not what we were just looking at earlier, though, is it?
00:58:55.000 That's the whole over structure?
00:58:56.000 That's what it looks like from the top?
00:58:58.000 Yeah, that's what I googled.
00:58:59.000 Holy shit!
00:59:00.000 It's a fortress.
00:59:01.000 Dude, holy shit!
00:59:02.000 Yeah, that does look like aliens built it.
00:59:04.000 Well, or super sophisticated man that was wiped out in a disaster.
00:59:08.000 That's more likely.
00:59:09.000 But the crazy thing is how quickly then, if that's the case, how quickly then we came from some sort of ape man to what we are now.
00:59:17.000 You know, it hasn't been that long.
00:59:20.000 The amount of...
00:59:21.000 Well, how long ago do they think this was built?
00:59:23.000 This shit was built, like, at least a thousand years ago, I think.
00:59:26.000 Right, so...
00:59:27.000 I don't think they know, though.
00:59:28.000 See, the problem is, if you don't...
00:59:30.000 You have to get stuff from, like...
00:59:33.000 Something that someone ate or it has to be like a carbon-based thing you can't test the stone you can test some of the material in the stone or You know like scratches on the stone like in crevices and shit like that you can get stuff But when they're we've been around you know that would have been several thousand years of man Advancing at that point a thousand years ago,
00:59:53.000 right wonder cuz I mean I don't know when it's hard to say cuz I don't know when it was actually built when do they think it was built So there's all these theories and then there's these really fringe theories that push everything way, way, way back.
01:00:07.000 And that stuff gets resisted a lot.
01:00:09.000 Because the carbon dating though, right?
01:00:11.000 In some cases.
01:00:13.000 Occupied since 900. 900. Occupied since 900. That means 900 somebody moved in?
01:00:19.000 Yeah, and then they said until about the 13th century.
01:00:23.000 That's a long run.
01:00:24.000 So who built it though?
01:00:25.000 Do they know when?
01:00:26.000 Do they guess?
01:00:27.000 I think the Incas, I think.
01:00:29.000 Does it say like what year it was built?
01:00:31.000 You said occupied from 900. Yeah.
01:00:34.000 Does that mean like that's when they first moved in?
01:00:36.000 Indicate the earliest occupation on the hilltop dates to about 900 CE. Oh, okay.
01:00:40.000 So, wow.
01:00:42.000 They built it over 400 years or so, it sounds like.
01:00:44.000 So more than a thousand years.
01:00:46.000 Hmm.
01:00:47.000 A thousand years is hard to wrap your head around.
01:00:50.000 The Jewish calendar goes back to 5,700 years ago.
01:00:53.000 I know.
01:00:54.000 Isn't that nuts?
01:00:55.000 Man had a lot of time to get some sweet tech by 900. Yeah, it's so arbitrary that we start at zero and then start up again.
01:01:02.000 You go backwards and you go into negative numbers.
01:01:04.000 It's so stupid.
01:01:06.000 It's so dumb.
01:01:07.000 Blame the Christians.
01:01:08.000 It's weird how we do that.
01:01:10.000 Even with temperature.
01:01:13.000 Yeah, us not being on the metric system is pretty stupid.
01:01:16.000 It's so stupid.
01:01:17.000 Like you go to places near those Celsius.
01:01:19.000 It's 23 Celsius outside.
01:01:21.000 What the fuck is 23 Celsius?
01:01:23.000 That could be anything.
01:01:24.000 I know.
01:01:24.000 I agree.
01:01:25.000 I'm like, so we're all going to die?
01:01:27.000 So we're all going to die.
01:01:28.000 Are we skiing?
01:01:29.000 I have no fucking idea.
01:01:31.000 So winter hat or shorts?
01:01:32.000 I have no idea, but they...
01:01:34.000 A lot of them know our stupid shit, which is interesting.
01:01:37.000 Yeah, there's more sort of a...
01:01:39.000 We're like...
01:01:40.000 That's like a real American move.
01:01:41.000 Like, they tried to switch over in the 70s to the metrics, and people were like, fuck you, I ain't learning some French math.
01:01:46.000 Dude, I remember it.
01:01:47.000 I remember it being taught in school when I was in school.
01:01:50.000 They tried.
01:01:51.000 They tried soccer, too.
01:01:52.000 Yeah.
01:01:53.000 Yep.
01:01:54.000 Just picking up now.
01:01:55.000 Just maybe a little heat now.
01:01:57.000 A little bit.
01:01:58.000 A little bit.
01:01:59.000 A little bit.
01:01:59.000 But yeah, it's funny to me, that stuff.
01:02:01.000 That's kind of what I love about America.
01:02:03.000 It's just like that.
01:02:05.000 We're not going to do that.
01:02:06.000 Not interested.
01:02:06.000 But the rest of the world, we don't give a shit.
01:02:08.000 Fuck you and fuck the metric system.
01:02:11.000 It sounds French.
01:02:12.000 It sounds gay.
01:02:13.000 It sounds like a gay system.
01:02:16.000 We're not using gay math, okay?
01:02:18.000 We're Americans.
01:02:19.000 It's better, though.
01:02:21.000 I mean, it's intense.
01:02:22.000 Why are we doing 12s?
01:02:23.000 No, it's better.
01:02:24.000 But it is confusing when somebody tells you a metric, you know, they say like, oh, it's a liter.
01:02:29.000 Like liters of gas, or if you drive in Europe, and you're looking at the, you know, speedometer.
01:02:34.000 It has the conversion on there for you, but...
01:02:36.000 Whenever you'd say like 12 inches is a foot, like, why 12?
01:02:40.000 Fuck is that?
01:02:41.000 What is that?
01:02:42.000 I don't know.
01:02:43.000 Why did you arbitrarily, you know, and it's only us and a few other countries that still accept that, right?
01:02:50.000 What, that 12 inches of foot?
01:02:51.000 Yeah, how many people do that?
01:02:52.000 Do they accept it in Canada?
01:02:54.000 Canada's metric, right?
01:02:55.000 And then three feet's a yard.
01:02:56.000 I think Canada's metric.
01:02:58.000 Yeah, it is.
01:02:58.000 I think most places are metric.
01:03:01.000 Yeah, I have a friend from Australia, my friend Adam Greentree, and he talks in meters.
01:03:05.000 It's about 120 meters.
01:03:07.000 What is that?
01:03:09.000 What even is that?
01:03:10.000 You're like, how many football fields?
01:03:12.000 Yeah, how far the fuck away is that?
01:03:14.000 There's only two distances, I understand.
01:03:15.000 School bus length and football field.
01:03:17.000 That's not the only way things have been taught to me.
01:03:19.000 Yeah, how many meters are in a real unit of measurement?
01:03:21.000 Like a real one, like an American one?
01:03:23.000 How many meters, huh?
01:03:24.000 How many feet are in that fucking meter?
01:03:28.000 You fucking goofy ass meter.
01:03:30.000 Yeah.
01:03:31.000 It's a yard.
01:03:32.000 I want to know what a yard is.
01:03:33.000 I need yards.
01:03:34.000 30 yards away.
01:03:35.000 Yeah.
01:03:37.000 That's it.
01:03:37.000 Even when you're in school, the only way they teach you about the distance of things is stacked school buses or football fields.
01:03:43.000 They're like, the moon is 147 million football fields.
01:03:46.000 You're like, now I understand.
01:03:47.000 Whatever the distance is, but it's always converted to football fields and school buses.
01:03:52.000 Always, right?
01:03:53.000 Yeah.
01:03:54.000 As a student, that's all I remember ever in science.
01:03:56.000 That would be like taking school buses and going from here to Australia.
01:04:01.000 It's like, 97 million school buses.
01:04:04.000 You're like, whoa!
01:04:05.000 That's true.
01:04:06.000 A school bus is like a constant unit of measurement.
01:04:08.000 Measurement and football fields.
01:04:09.000 It's all we understand.
01:04:11.000 Yeah.
01:04:11.000 It's true.
01:04:12.000 It's true.
01:04:13.000 It's like, how far does she live?
01:04:14.000 Like two football fields and three school buses.
01:04:16.000 We could walk.
01:04:17.000 We could walk.
01:04:18.000 It's pretty cold, though.
01:04:20.000 It's cold.
01:04:20.000 So how cold is it?
01:04:21.000 24 Celsius.
01:04:22.000 Oh, so...
01:04:24.000 23 Celsius is probably like, is that like 70 degrees?
01:04:27.000 I have no idea.
01:04:29.000 I literally have no idea.
01:04:30.000 I know a little bit about kilos, but very little.
01:04:34.000 I know embarrassingly little.
01:04:35.000 How much?
01:04:35.000 75. 23 is 75?
01:04:37.000 Okay.
01:04:38.000 24 is 75. Alright, I'll remember that.
01:04:41.000 I'll remember that.
01:04:42.000 And that way if it gets to like 30, I'll go, hey, it must be hot as fuck.
01:04:45.000 Because zero Celsius is 32?
01:04:49.000 Right?
01:04:49.000 Because their zero is freezing, which makes sense.
01:04:52.000 That's freezing.
01:04:53.000 Yes, but our 40 below is the same as their 40 below.
01:04:58.000 Do you want to know the math trick?
01:05:00.000 It's tough.
01:05:00.000 It's 9 fifths Celsius plus 32. Jesus Christ.
01:05:05.000 9 fifths Celsius plus 32. Fuck you.
01:05:08.000 What does that even mean?
01:05:09.000 Just fuck you.
01:05:09.000 How do you do 9 fifths?
01:05:11.000 It's almost a half, but it's just a little bit under a half.
01:05:14.000 Fuck somebody.
01:05:15.000 One of you.
01:05:15.000 Fuck one of you.
01:05:16.000 You need to figure out who's got a simpler thing that I can use.
01:05:20.000 9 fifths?
01:05:20.000 Who's got a simpler thing?
01:05:22.000 Nine-fifths.
01:05:23.000 Get the fuck out of here with your Fahrenheit.
01:05:26.000 We need to switch over to Celsius.
01:05:28.000 But zero Celsius is freezing, and 32 Fahrenheit is freezing.
01:05:33.000 But it's not just offset by 32. Something happens around 40 below zero, they become the same.
01:05:39.000 I don't know if it maintains for very long, or if degrees get colder, and I don't know.
01:05:44.000 I don't know.
01:05:45.000 It's just zero makes more sense as the coldest.
01:05:48.000 Yeah, but it's weird.
01:05:49.000 Like, how the fuck is...
01:05:50.000 If R32 is a Celsius zero, how the fuck is it the same thing at 40 below?
01:05:55.000 It doesn't even make sense.
01:05:56.000 It doesn't make sense.
01:05:57.000 Here's another explanation for it.
01:05:58.000 And how are you not just adding 32?
01:06:00.000 We're so stupid.
01:06:01.000 We're so dumb.
01:06:03.000 My friend gave me this tip.
01:06:05.000 Double the centigrade temperature, subtract the first digit of the result, and then add 32 to that.
01:06:12.000 Oh, okay.
01:06:12.000 I'm going to try that.
01:06:14.000 Aren't you really?
01:06:15.000 Yeah, so 23. All right, okay, so 46. And then what do we do with the first digit of the result?
01:06:21.000 There it is right there.
01:06:22.000 So, 23 Celsius equals 74 Fahrenheit.
01:06:25.000 23. C times 2 is 46. Minus the first digit, so minus the 4. 46 minus 4 is 42. 42 plus 32 is 74. I guess it works.
01:06:38.000 Hey, fuck you.
01:06:40.000 Yeah.
01:06:40.000 By the way, that's the easy one.
01:06:43.000 That's the easy one.
01:06:44.000 Well, what's amazing to me is, like, when you meet someone that lets you know, like, well, you just talk to them about math, and they can do, like, math problems in their head, and you realize, like, oh, I'm a baby, a math baby.
01:06:56.000 Oh, yeah.
01:06:56.000 I'm a math baby.
01:06:57.000 Totally.
01:06:58.000 There's people that were, like, looking at that going, yeah, that's what you do.
01:07:01.000 That's obvious.
01:07:02.000 Oh, completely.
01:07:03.000 There's certain things...
01:07:05.000 74 degrees.
01:07:06.000 I'll have moments where, like I had this recently, I was just laying in bed, you know, in an insomniac state, like I often am in, and I was going, how do you do long division?
01:07:17.000 And I was like, I haven't done long division, and I tried doing a problem, and I got it wrong, and then I had to read.
01:07:24.000 I was like, oh yeah!
01:07:26.000 You know, like it was like, it was confusing, and I haven't done it in...
01:07:31.000 When's the last time you put out a pen and paper to do a long division?
01:07:34.000 Dude, I barely do the add the tip part thing right.
01:07:38.000 I have to make sure I get that down.
01:07:40.000 You just double it and move the decimal.
01:07:42.000 My adding sucks.
01:07:43.000 I put that on my Instagram recently.
01:07:45.000 It was a question to get on into MIT in 1869. So it's really just the order of operations if you can figure this out.
01:07:52.000 Let E equals 8 in the following equation, and there's a bunch of...
01:07:56.000 It's tough.
01:07:57.000 What is the numerical value of the equation?
01:07:59.000 Hint, as mentioned earlier, knowledge of the order of operations will be pretty important here.
01:08:04.000 Scroll down to read the answer.
01:08:06.000 A lot of people did not get it right, but most people kind of got it right.
01:08:09.000 Well, what is it?
01:08:10.000 The answer is 15 to this.
01:08:14.000 Are you well versed in these kind of equations?
01:08:17.000 I remembered how to do it pretty quickly.
01:08:19.000 A friend showed it to me and I was like...
01:08:20.000 I don't remember how to do any of that.
01:08:22.000 Interesting.
01:08:23.000 What's that little check mark?
01:08:24.000 I'm fairly positive I never learned any of that.
01:08:29.000 Fairly positive.
01:08:30.000 But that's a good example.
01:08:31.000 Like, I'm completely illiterate when it comes to that.
01:08:35.000 And that's a cube root.
01:08:36.000 No one knew what that was either.
01:08:37.000 A cube root.
01:08:38.000 Oh.
01:08:38.000 It's like an exponent.
01:08:39.000 Jesus Christ.
01:08:41.000 Dude, I could...
01:08:42.000 I literally...
01:08:45.000 There's just nothing I could do with that.
01:08:46.000 Well, that's what's so fascinating about society.
01:08:49.000 And that's why, you know, if anybody tells, and it's not all good, but that's one of the things that's fascinating by society, is that there's so many different people with so many different abilities.
01:08:57.000 And there are people that gravitate towards that and are wizards at mathematics.
01:09:02.000 And there's other people like you and I that are good at talking shit.
01:09:04.000 Yeah.
01:09:05.000 Yeah.
01:09:05.000 Thank God.
01:09:06.000 Thank God we live in a world where that can happen.
01:09:07.000 Oh, thank God.
01:09:09.000 No, I often think about how useless I'll be.
01:09:11.000 Like, if the apocalypse goes down, you're going to be like the dude you want to hang out with.
01:09:14.000 But if the apocalypse goes down, I'm done.
01:09:16.000 Dude, if the apocalypse goes down, whatever happens, you want it to happen in your neighborhood.
01:09:20.000 You do?
01:09:20.000 So it's over.
01:09:21.000 Okay, gotcha.
01:09:22.000 If a meteor hits, you want it to hit your house.
01:09:25.000 If it's an earthquake, you don't want to eat gogs.
01:09:26.000 In a post-apocalyptic society, say we both survived it and we're living in a shantytown.
01:09:32.000 You have skills.
01:09:33.000 You can hunt.
01:09:34.000 You can do shit.
01:09:35.000 I can do some things.
01:09:36.000 I can teach you the things that I know how pretty quick.
01:09:39.000 I would bring no value.
01:09:40.000 Let's eat the Jew first.
01:09:42.000 You'd figure it out after a couple of weeks.
01:09:44.000 I can fix things.
01:09:45.000 I know how to fix things, but I don't know how to hunt.
01:09:48.000 Useless with a bow and arrow.
01:09:49.000 You'd figure it out.
01:09:50.000 Do you use a gun ever?
01:09:51.000 You've ever used a rifle?
01:09:51.000 Not anymore, but I would.
01:09:53.000 It's a better way to get meat.
01:09:55.000 It's more accurate.
01:09:57.000 You can do it from further away.
01:10:00.000 It doesn't require nearly as much discipline.
01:10:03.000 It still requires a lot of discipline, but not nearly as much as a bow and arrow.
01:10:06.000 Bow and arrow is just cooler.
01:10:08.000 It's harder.
01:10:08.000 It's way more difficult.
01:10:10.000 But then there's other people that use a traditional bow, and they think that guys like me are pussies, because I use a compound bow.
01:10:16.000 You mean like Legolas bow?
01:10:17.000 Like Bob Robin Hood style?
01:10:20.000 A lot of them use recurves, but some don't even use recurves.
01:10:23.000 They use an old-school stick bow.
01:10:25.000 Really?
01:10:26.000 Yeah, these are people that want to make things tougher on themselves.
01:10:29.000 They want a bigger and bigger challenge, and it gets into this weird territory.
01:10:34.000 Some people said you should only hunt with a rifle because it's probably the most deadly thing that you could use in that situation.
01:10:42.000 So you shouldn't use a bow and arrow because you're not using a bow and arrow because it's more effective.
01:10:49.000 You're just using it so it's more of a challenge to you.
01:10:52.000 It's like a bastardization of the original idea of what hunting is.
01:10:56.000 Some people feel like that.
01:10:58.000 But then other people are like, no, no.
01:11:00.000 It's just a different kind of hunting.
01:11:02.000 If you do it correctly, you have less likelihood of success, but if you do it correctly, you have just as much of a likelihood of killing the animal.
01:11:11.000 So it's not like it's an unethical thing if it's done correctly.
01:11:14.000 It just requires way more work.
01:11:16.000 Yeah, and like you said, more skill.
01:11:18.000 Yeah, but if you were in an apocalyptic scenario where we had to go out and get food and you and I went out, I could teach you what you'd need to know pretty quick.
01:11:26.000 You're not stupid.
01:11:27.000 No.
01:11:27.000 The hard part would be learning how to be accurate with a bow.
01:11:30.000 That would be the hardest part.
01:11:31.000 I want to learn that.
01:11:31.000 I was actually going to text you one day and go, what's a good starter bow?
01:11:34.000 I just want a bow.
01:11:36.000 I want to learn how to shoot a bow.
01:11:38.000 There's a bunch of good companies.
01:11:39.000 I use a Hoyt, but there's a bunch of great ones.
01:11:43.000 Matthews makes great bows.
01:11:44.000 There's a bunch of companies that make recurve bows, which are fun to practice.
01:11:48.000 Duncan has a recurve.
01:11:49.000 He does?
01:11:49.000 Yeah, he shoots it in his backyard.
01:11:51.000 He loves it.
01:11:52.000 That's cool.
01:11:52.000 It's just a fun thing to do, man.
01:11:54.000 Even if you never want to ever shoot an animal and you don't even want to eat eggs.
01:11:58.000 You're just straight up vegan.
01:12:00.000 Archery is a fun thing to do.
01:12:01.000 It's like a weird kind of a meditation.
01:12:05.000 Something happens when you're at full draw and you're holding on an arrow and then you release that arrow and it just sails right into the target.
01:12:12.000 It gives you this weird charge.
01:12:14.000 It's like you're doing almost like a form of yoga with your mind and your body together.
01:12:20.000 Because everything has to be perfectly still and then on the release, if it goes in the right spot, you get this big, It's a burst of satisfaction.
01:12:28.000 It's really interesting.
01:12:30.000 And you can't think about anything else other than the shot that you're attempting to make.
01:12:35.000 You have to keep your eyes on where you're trying to hit.
01:12:37.000 There's a mind thing going on with archery that's fascinating.
01:12:41.000 I do think, though, shooting a gun is like that.
01:12:44.000 Probably not as intense or meditative, but there's something...
01:12:46.000 When people are like, I don't know why anyone wants a gun.
01:12:49.000 I'm like, have you ever shot one?
01:12:52.000 I don't own a gun.
01:12:54.000 I live in New York City.
01:12:55.000 It's not really even an option for me, but...
01:12:57.000 It's, you know, like I said, you know, I've been on...
01:13:00.000 It was when I was in Afghanistan with some of those dudes, and they were like, take us to the shooting range, and we were shooting all their different...
01:13:05.000 And again, it was a war zone, so I'm not getting into my ethical...
01:13:10.000 You know, I'm not a huge fan of AR-15s for 18-year-olds, but I get why people want guns.
01:13:16.000 I get why people want to own guns, you know?
01:13:18.000 I think that's like the argument in the country.
01:13:20.000 It's like, I wish people would just like...
01:13:22.000 Take a beat and go, like you just said about the abortion thing.
01:13:24.000 I understand you feel that way.
01:13:28.000 That's okay, so you feel that way.
01:13:29.000 And then that way it becomes less of a conversation about, we've got to get rid of guns, more of a conversation about, like, alright, we just have to maybe just tidy up a couple components of it, you know, that kind of stuff.
01:13:38.000 We definitely have to figure out how to stop people from buying them legally when they're crazy.
01:13:44.000 Well, there's something wrong with them, right?
01:13:46.000 You know, I mean, here's a question.
01:13:49.000 How many of these mass shootings Were actually done by someone who was in the NRA? Well, according to the people on the right, none.
01:13:57.000 Is that true, though?
01:13:58.000 I don't know.
01:13:59.000 I mean, that's like the propaganda that's out there right now on Twitter.
01:14:01.000 Yeah, that's why I wanted to ask you if you knew.
01:14:03.000 That could be a Russian bot.
01:14:05.000 Probably, right?
01:14:07.000 Just spreading that fake news, baby.
01:14:09.000 Yeah.
01:14:09.000 Hashtag fake news.
01:14:10.000 But yeah, I don't know.
01:14:11.000 See if that's real.
01:14:13.000 Does that make sense to you?
01:14:14.000 Yeah.
01:14:15.000 I mean, it's an interesting question.
01:14:16.000 Well, if that is, then it gets weird.
01:14:18.000 Like, why is everybody attacking the NRA? Well, I know they're the ones who are making it easier to access these guns.
01:14:24.000 Right, they're the ones cock-blocking any legislation getting done because they're paying so much money to these congressmen and senators, you know?
01:14:31.000 I mean, did you saw that lieutenant governor, Delta, said they don't want to—first of all, I've got to be honest with you, man.
01:14:36.000 Like, I had no idea you got—like, your flights are cheaper because you own a gun?
01:14:40.000 I was like, what?
01:14:42.000 Like, I'm just getting ripped off on Delta because I don't own a gun.
01:14:45.000 Like, what a fucking bullshit thing.
01:14:47.000 Well, you could actually join the NRA and not own a gun.
01:14:49.000 Yeah, but it was just like, what the fuck?
01:14:50.000 I didn't know they got discounts, you know?
01:14:52.000 It was just such a weird thing to find out.
01:14:54.000 And now that Delta pulled that, it did, I was like, wait!
01:14:58.000 But, like, my passive mentality costs more money, you know?
01:15:01.000 So the thought is that the NRA has made it more easy for crazy people to access these guns, and so we have to take some of the power away from them.
01:15:12.000 Yeah, the idea that we can't raise the age to 21. Well, if you can go to war at 18, why can't you?
01:15:18.000 I don't know.
01:15:21.000 It seems like when you go to war, you're getting trained by the military, versus when you're just 18 and you walk into a gun store and walk out with an AR-15.
01:15:28.000 Nobody taught you how to use it.
01:15:30.000 Literally just bought a gun.
01:15:32.000 It's a strange, like...
01:15:34.000 My thought on it has always been, like, why not...
01:15:37.000 Like, if you have a driver's license for a car, but then, like, if you have to drive a bus or, like, a truck, you have to get a different class of driver's license.
01:15:45.000 You have to get, like, a Class D or a Class C, whatever the next level is.
01:15:47.000 There's different classes of driver's license.
01:15:49.000 Like, you can't just go buy a big rig and start driving it around the country.
01:15:53.000 You've got to get a license for driving a big rig, which means you have to go to school, learn how to drive one, learn how to park one, all the things that it fucking takes.
01:16:00.000 And you have to prove it to an expert.
01:16:02.000 Yeah, and you have to prove it to an expert.
01:16:03.000 We were actually talking about this yesterday.
01:16:03.000 Yeah, so why not just have it be that simple, which is you want to own a handgun, you get the Class A handgun license, you take your road test, which is like, know how to load it, know how to clean it, whatever the rules become, and then it takes...
01:16:16.000 What, four hours to pass the test?
01:16:18.000 It's like ten written questions, and then that's it.
01:16:21.000 And then you get the license, you get the gun, and it's yours.
01:16:23.000 And then next class, yeah, I'd like to own a shotgun.
01:16:25.000 All right, get a Class B shotgun license, take the class, take the thing, fine.
01:16:29.000 And then you get to like the AR-15 level, and now you have an instructor looking at the guy like, this guy doesn't seem...
01:16:37.000 It's got a little bit of a dead eye here.
01:16:40.000 Maybe we double-check this guy or whatever.
01:16:43.000 You can get a sense of people in that environment.
01:16:48.000 If it's a five-question question thing you have to answer, and it's like, what are your hobbies?
01:16:53.000 And it's like, eating rabbits alive.
01:16:55.000 You're like, yeah, man, that guy.
01:16:57.000 Do you think they hide those answers, though?
01:16:58.000 I don't know.
01:16:59.000 A real psychologist can spot a fucking crazy person based on how they hide their answers.
01:17:05.000 A real psychologist.
01:17:06.000 Do you think from the written word?
01:17:07.000 I think that you could devise a test.
01:17:09.000 I think you could devise a written test where someone would be like, this is an alarming answer to this question.
01:17:14.000 Because it references his mother and it has nothing to do with his mother.
01:17:17.000 Or whatever.
01:17:18.000 Whatever fucking weird, you know.
01:17:19.000 So, look, that sounds really unappealing to people and I get that they're mad, but that wouldn't be banning any guns.
01:17:24.000 You can have any gun you want.
01:17:25.000 You just have to do a very basic...
01:17:29.000 You know, rudimentary seven-question test and go to a firing range with a pro for two hours and he has to make sure you know what you're doing.
01:17:37.000 The NRA's perspective is they don't want to give an inch.
01:17:40.000 Yeah.
01:17:40.000 Because if they give an inch, they feel like the ultimate is they're just going to lose ground.
01:17:44.000 They're going to lose more ground, lose more ground.
01:17:45.000 What's the slip It's interesting that whenever anything happens, now more than ever, I think people are demanding some sort of a change.
01:17:57.000 There has to be some sort of a change.
01:17:58.000 The poll says 75% of the country wants some kind of change.
01:18:02.000 Even Trump wants to raise the age, but it won't happen because the legislation won't pass.
01:18:07.000 It's one of those things where...
01:18:09.000 I seriously doubt, and I'm not saying this is a good or a bad thing, but I seriously doubt if we didn't have guns, and all of a sudden guns became a thing, and we all had to vote as to whether or not everyone should be able to have guns,
01:18:25.000 I don't think it would have passed.
01:18:27.000 I don't think it would pass.
01:18:28.000 No way.
01:18:29.000 It's interesting though, because it exists now, and now, you know, most politicians Some are in favor of it.
01:18:37.000 Some are in favor of limiting it slightly.
01:18:40.000 Well, they got a lot of money.
01:18:41.000 Yeah.
01:18:41.000 They got a lot of money from the NRA. But it's also, like, who, and I'm not saying you shouldn't be able to have guns, but who wants us to have guns?
01:18:50.000 Like, if you're just going to be completely democratic, like, what percentage of the people actually want everybody to have guns, and what don't?
01:18:56.000 Just out of pure curiosity with no judgment.
01:18:58.000 Ah, man.
01:18:59.000 What percentage want everyone to have guns?
01:19:01.000 No, want people to be able to have guns, and what percentage thinks that no one should have guns?
01:19:05.000 Like, if you had, like, the site Australia or something like that, they took all the guns.
01:19:09.000 I think it's a much smaller group of people that don't want anyone to have a gun.
01:19:15.000 Yeah, I think so too.
01:19:17.000 I think there's probably like 14% of the country that thinks no one should have a gun.
01:19:21.000 Yeah, I think the vast majority think we need some new sort of regulations and restrictions.
01:19:27.000 Absolutely.
01:19:27.000 Just reasonable restrictions.
01:19:29.000 I really don't think anyone is saying...
01:19:32.000 I mean, I think that people, it's a right that's embedded in the DNA of the country.
01:19:37.000 Whether you like it or not, it's part of the DNA of the country, and, like, it's something that's very important to people.
01:19:42.000 Does that stay, it just stays that way forever?
01:19:44.000 Well, look, I think that, to me, there are arguments that could be made about this, which is, You know, I don't think people really understand how everyone lives.
01:19:53.000 I think there's so many different lifestyles in this country that, like, you know, I think you have a perception of, like, say, like a suburban, just outside of metropolis kind of a mom that doesn't realize that for some people in the country, when they dial 911, it's like a 50-minute response time.
01:20:10.000 You know?
01:20:10.000 Like, it's not like there's, like, a local firehouse, and they, you know, like...
01:20:13.000 People feel like I have to be able to protect my family because I can't necessarily rely on the police to come.
01:20:19.000 I mean, I think that's true.
01:20:21.000 It does happen.
01:20:22.000 Yeah, and I also think that there's a component to people's fears of society unfolding and whatever that's perpetuated.
01:20:29.000 I actually believe that people From the dawn of time, have always believed they're going to be the last ones on Earth.
01:20:36.000 I believe that, that they're going to live through the apocalypse.
01:20:39.000 Because I really think it's all about FOMO, you know, fear of missing out.
01:20:43.000 And it's this feeling of, like, once I die, everyone else should die.
01:20:47.000 So, like, cool shit doesn't keep happening once I'm dead, you know?
01:20:49.000 I really do.
01:20:51.000 I think that people have this instinct of, like, I'm going to die with everyone else.
01:20:54.000 It's like, no, you're going to die, and then we're going to forget about you, and then cool shit's going to keep happening.
01:20:57.000 That's hilarious.
01:20:57.000 And it's like, I remember when I left The Daily Show, I felt that way.
01:21:00.000 I'm like, yeah, I'm like, good luck, assholes.
01:21:01.000 And then, like, the show kept going.
01:21:03.000 I was like, oh, they're fine.
01:21:04.000 My life has no purpose, you know?
01:21:06.000 And it's that feeling of, like, you want to see...
01:21:11.000 It's like when a football player or whatever, any athlete leaves a team.
01:21:14.000 They're like, yeah, they're like, good luck winning without me.
01:21:16.000 And then they win the Super Bowl the next year.
01:21:18.000 I'm like, yeah, you are the problem, Jeremy Shockey.
01:21:20.000 I don't think that applies to the apocalypse, though.
01:21:22.000 I think the apocalypse is people understanding and knowing in their head that they're fragile and that their very environment is fragile and that we're lucky that it stays the way it is right now.
01:21:31.000 But the more we learn about...
01:21:33.000 Super volcanoes, asteroidal impacts, earthquakes, tsunamis, all the crazy shit that can happen to people, the more we realize how fucking incredibly fragile we are.
01:21:43.000 So we're always worried about the big thing that happens.
01:21:46.000 Because there could be a big thing that can happen.
01:21:48.000 If some super volcano blows, and there's ash that covers the sun, or blocks out the sun, and we lose all our crops, food shortages...
01:21:57.000 Yeah, it's like a nuclear winter.
01:21:58.000 Yeah, it's 100% possible.
01:22:01.000 Totally.
01:22:02.000 Earthquakes...
01:22:03.000 Fucking asteroid will impact all that shit's a hundred percent asteroid hitting the earth or not hit the earth.
01:22:07.000 It's just up to fucking what's floating around in space.
01:22:09.000 Dude, it's happened a ton of times.
01:22:11.000 And if people have been alive, if human beings have been what we are now for how many thousands of years?
01:22:16.000 What is like...
01:22:17.000 Ten thousand maybe?
01:22:18.000 No, more I think.
01:22:19.000 More than that.
01:22:20.000 I think...
01:22:21.000 I'm just thinking about modern humans.
01:22:23.000 Modern humans.
01:22:25.000 I want to say like 200,000 years.
01:22:26.000 Does that make sense?
01:22:27.000 For modern humans?
01:22:28.000 Yeah.
01:22:29.000 I think that's probably wrong, though.
01:22:31.000 I think it's more like 50,000.
01:22:32.000 I guess it depends on what we're calling modern.
01:22:34.000 Yeah.
01:22:35.000 That's a good question.
01:22:36.000 Yeah.
01:22:36.000 What do we call modern?
01:22:37.000 Like a society that has an economy and a trade system, you know, systems of trade, roads, tools.
01:22:46.000 Shelter.
01:22:46.000 Right.
01:22:47.000 What do we got?
01:22:48.000 Stone tools was two and a half million.
01:22:51.000 Stone tools.
01:22:52.000 But that's like caveman.
01:22:53.000 I saw an orangutan at the zoo using a stick to try to get bugs.
01:22:57.000 Then the next thing says modern man is 200,000 years ago.
01:23:00.000 200,000.
01:23:02.000 Yeah, okay.
01:23:02.000 So they think that 200,000 years ago they essentially looked just like us.
01:23:08.000 Pretty close to us.
01:23:09.000 Yeah.
01:23:10.000 I bet if you saw a woman for 200,000 years ago, you'd be like, yeah, she's hot.
01:23:15.000 You'd be like, what the fuck?
01:23:16.000 You think so?
01:23:17.000 Yeah, I do.
01:23:18.000 I do.
01:23:19.000 Yeah.
01:23:20.000 That's a long time ago.
01:23:21.000 Yeah, that's a long time ago.
01:23:22.000 Are you swiping right?
01:23:23.000 What are you doing on your phone?
01:23:24.000 No, I was just looking up.
01:23:25.000 I was just Googling that piece of information.
01:23:28.000 Yeah, that's a crazy notion when you really think of 200,000 years.
01:23:34.000 200,000 years ago, we weren't even people.
01:23:36.000 We were some other thing that became people.
01:23:39.000 Like, what are we gonna become?
01:23:40.000 Yeah, I just, like, when you go back 200,000 years, it feels like you're You know, that's like pretty close to like caveman era, right?
01:23:49.000 Oh, that is caveman era, I think.
01:23:51.000 Which is really crazy.
01:23:52.000 It's not like ape-man, but it's like, you know.
01:23:55.000 Like super primitive human.
01:23:56.000 Super primitive, yeah.
01:23:57.000 But that's modern human, I guess.
01:23:59.000 But I think that was revised.
01:24:01.000 I was thinking more about like...
01:24:03.000 You were saying something recently that modern human was...
01:24:04.000 Like when you have trade and like...
01:24:06.000 Oh, like civilization.
01:24:08.000 Civilization, yeah.
01:24:09.000 Like that more, you know...
01:24:10.000 Versus the actual body being, you know.
01:24:15.000 I think they used to think it was where Iraq is.
01:24:18.000 I think they thought that was the oldest...
01:24:20.000 Mesopotamia?
01:24:20.000 Yeah, like that area.
01:24:22.000 Sumer.
01:24:23.000 They think that that was one of the first real civilizations.
01:24:27.000 They think that was the first, well, at least the first evidence of written language.
01:24:31.000 And there's a lot of it there.
01:24:32.000 Sumerian Mesopotamia is, in fact, the first known complex civilization, developing the first city-states in the fourth millennium BCE. It was around these cities that the earliest known form of writing cuneiform script appeared around 3000 BCE. Yeah.
01:24:48.000 I like how they go BCE now for the non-Christians.
01:24:52.000 Before current era.
01:24:53.000 Like, what is, wait, why is it current?
01:24:57.000 What is that BCE, you sneaky bitch?
01:25:00.000 I thought it was even earlier than that.
01:25:02.000 I didn't think it was just 3,000.
01:25:03.000 But I'm saying that's going back like 5,000 plus years ago.
01:25:07.000 That's like the Jewish calendar, right?
01:25:08.000 5,700 years ago where they started keeping track of shit and they had like, you know...
01:25:12.000 So that's what they think about...
01:25:14.000 Language and trade.
01:25:14.000 That's what they think about all those structures, like the pyramids and all those different things.
01:25:18.000 They think that there was advanced civilizations that died off, and that that's why all those things were there.
01:25:23.000 Well, you know about the library in Alexandria, right?
01:25:26.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:25:26.000 That's one of those things that probably lost thousands of years.
01:25:30.000 Yeah, they burned all the shit the Egyptians knew.
01:25:33.000 Like, thousands of years.
01:25:34.000 Like, we might not ever figure it out.
01:25:35.000 But I'm saying, like, just God knows what...
01:25:39.000 They had discovered and how we could have stacked our science on top of that and right now be...
01:25:45.000 Who knows?
01:25:45.000 We could be living to like 250 years old for all we know.
01:25:48.000 We don't know what they knew or how they built that shit.
01:25:52.000 That's like a total religious move.
01:25:54.000 Too much knowledge in here.
01:25:56.000 Get rid of it.
01:25:57.000 We're never going to be able to convince these people of an invisible cloud man if they could read these books or burn this fucking thing down.
01:26:04.000 Yeah, people had been apparently going back and forth to Egypt forever for knowledge.
01:26:09.000 They would go there to learn shit.
01:26:11.000 Yeah, and it was a lush place.
01:26:13.000 Do you know that Cleopatra is closer to the birth of the iPhone than she is to the construction of the pyramids?
01:26:24.000 Wow.
01:26:25.000 So if you go from Cleopatra to today is a shorter time period than Cleopatra to the construction of the pyramids.
01:26:32.000 That's crazy.
01:26:33.000 Wrap your fucking head around that jazz.
01:26:35.000 That's crazy.
01:26:36.000 And if you listen to Graham Hancock and John Anthony West, this guy was an Egyptologist who just passed.
01:26:43.000 They think that it goes back way further than that.
01:26:45.000 They think that the pyramids of Giza might be from 2,500 years ago, but they think there's a lot of shit in Egypt, giant things, including the Sphinx, that are thousands and thousands of years older than that.
01:26:55.000 Well, did you see that they just invented this new air sonar?
01:26:58.000 Yes.
01:26:58.000 They didn't discover that Guatemalan.
01:27:01.000 Woo!
01:27:01.000 Society in the fucking jungle.
01:27:03.000 That's crazy.
01:27:03.000 My mind exploded when I saw that.
01:27:05.000 Crazy.
01:27:06.000 Did you see that Lost City of Z, that movie?
01:27:08.000 I didn't.
01:27:09.000 It's a movie I want to watch, but then I watched the trailer and I was like, eh.
01:27:13.000 Moshe Kasher sent me the book and I almost read it, but then I found out there was a movie.
01:27:16.000 I'm like, fuck your book.
01:27:17.000 I just jumped the gun.
01:27:19.000 Let's knock this out in an hour and a half, huh?
01:27:22.000 I'm sure it's not as good, though, because Moshe was raving about the book.
01:27:25.000 Oh, by the way, congratulations to Moshe and LaTosha for making people.
01:27:30.000 Oh, they made a person.
01:27:31.000 Fantastic.
01:27:33.000 But that City of Z movie was really interesting because these people were just the rawest of raw adventurers.
01:27:40.000 I mean, they'd get horrible mosquito bites.
01:27:42.000 They'd go into the jungle, these crazy Englishmen.
01:27:45.000 And that, to me, was what was interesting about that book, to try to see...
01:27:49.000 I don't know.
01:27:49.000 It was really well done.
01:27:51.000 So I assumed that their version of what these English scholarly gentlemen were like when they were planning out these epic megatrips...
01:28:00.000 But when you're watching it take place, like the way they did in the movie, you really felt like that could have been how it went down.
01:28:06.000 And this crazy fucking guy went just deep, deep, deep into the jungle, looking for a lost civilization.
01:28:11.000 They kept journals and things, which most of those dudes did.
01:28:13.000 Yeah.
01:28:14.000 You know?
01:28:14.000 You have to take, I guess, what they're writing with a grain of salt, because you're like, I want to make myself sound as badass as possible.
01:28:20.000 For sure.
01:28:20.000 But they definitely found some stuff and brought it back, too.
01:28:22.000 For sure.
01:28:22.000 Yeah, they went.
01:28:23.000 They found pottery, and they found a bunch of different things.
01:28:25.000 Whoa, is that the guy?
01:28:27.000 Colonel Percy Fawcett?
01:28:28.000 Is that his head?
01:28:31.000 They think it might be his head?
01:28:33.000 Oh, dude, go to that page, please.
01:28:36.000 We need to know about this shit.
01:28:38.000 Strange stories!
01:28:39.000 Dun-dun-dun!
01:28:40.000 Yeah, they probably killed that dude and cut his head off.
01:28:42.000 I mean, that's what they were doing to people down there.
01:28:44.000 They probably got tired of this white dude stumbling around through the forest on the head thing.
01:28:47.000 Yeah.
01:28:48.000 How do they shrink heads?
01:28:49.000 They cut your skull out.
01:28:50.000 This is the thing.
01:28:51.000 I used to think they shrunk the whole skull and everything.
01:28:53.000 I'm so stupid.
01:28:54.000 I already told you how dumb I am when it comes to eggs.
01:28:56.000 With shrunken heads, I thought, ah, they got some fucking solution that makes the head shrink up.
01:29:01.000 No.
01:29:01.000 No, they take the skull out, and then they take the skin, stitch it all up together, and then they do something with it to make it, like, shrivel up.
01:29:09.000 Like I put a coconut or something in there?
01:29:11.000 I don't remember.
01:29:12.000 I don't remember how they make it trivel up.
01:29:14.000 I would never in a million years if you asked how a shrunken head would be made.
01:29:17.000 And they stuff it.
01:29:18.000 I would have no...
01:29:18.000 I wouldn't even guess.
01:29:20.000 I think they stuff it too.
01:29:21.000 I think that's his head.
01:29:24.000 That's homeboy's head.
01:29:25.000 Yeah, they chopped that dude up and did something to his head.
01:29:30.000 That is so crazy.
01:29:32.000 What a dark way of approaching other human beings.
01:29:37.000 They have his eyeballs stitched up.
01:29:39.000 They have a rope coming out of his mouth.
01:29:41.000 It looks like just a carrying strap.
01:29:44.000 Yeah, it could be.
01:29:45.000 You know, you can put it on your belt.
01:29:46.000 Oh, dude, you might be right.
01:29:47.000 They stitched his mouth up though, right?
01:29:49.000 Doesn't it look like his mouth is stitched up?
01:29:51.000 Yeah, but it looks like a little neck.
01:29:52.000 It's like they made a keychain.
01:29:54.000 You know, that's what it looks like.
01:29:55.000 They got that little loop on the end.
01:29:56.000 Yeah, they carried that dude around their dick and just walked through the forest.
01:30:00.000 It was all for a novelty store in town.
01:30:03.000 That was their version of Forever 21. Yeah, a little, like, Hudson News in town with little knickknacks.
01:30:10.000 What a fucked up practice.
01:30:11.000 Cutting people's heads off, taking the skin off, stitching it all up, and shrinking it.
01:30:16.000 But, yeah, but again, it's like, we were talking about food.
01:30:18.000 It's like, we had a lot of fucked up shit we did here, too.
01:30:21.000 Oh, yeah.
01:30:21.000 You know?
01:30:22.000 Smallpox on blankets.
01:30:23.000 That wasn't...
01:30:23.000 That's not real.
01:30:24.000 It's pretty fucked up.
01:30:25.000 It's not real?
01:30:25.000 No, no, no.
01:30:27.000 They didn't even know what bacteria was back then.
01:30:31.000 Oh, I thought they were just wiping it on sick people.
01:30:33.000 No, apparently it's an urban myth.
01:30:36.000 Definitely not urban.
01:30:38.000 It's a rural myth.
01:30:41.000 It's a wild west myth.
01:30:42.000 Apparently what happened was just the first European settlers, just alone by their presence, killed somewhere around 90% of the Native Americans all the time.
01:30:51.000 By bringing outside disease?
01:30:52.000 All kinds of crazy shit that people had no immune systems for.
01:30:54.000 And that this idea that they did it all with blankets would...
01:30:57.000 Look, this is not to say that people didn't do horrible things to the Native Americans.
01:31:01.000 They absolutely did.
01:31:02.000 And it's not to in any way diminish the genocide that took place on the Native Americans.
01:31:08.000 But...
01:31:09.000 I don't think that the blanket thing was true, because they didn't know how to isolate syphilis.
01:31:13.000 I mean, unless they just went to patients that had syphilis...
01:31:17.000 Or smallpox, by the way.
01:31:18.000 Or smallpox, whatever it was.
01:31:19.000 You're right.
01:31:19.000 Yeah, that's what I thought.
01:31:20.000 Syphilis killed Al Capone.
01:31:21.000 I thought they just knew, yeah.
01:31:22.000 I got my stories mixed up.
01:31:23.000 Which is a good way to go out.
01:31:24.000 I guess.
01:31:25.000 I think you go blind.
01:31:26.000 I'm being sarcastic.
01:31:28.000 But, yeah.
01:31:29.000 I just think the just exposure to Europeans killed the great many of them.
01:31:34.000 And there's a guy named Dan Flores that I had on my podcast that's an expert in the history of animals in North America.
01:31:41.000 I think I heard that podcast.
01:31:42.000 Fucking amazing.
01:31:43.000 Yeah.
01:31:43.000 Guy's a genius.
01:31:44.000 He's brilliant.
01:31:45.000 But he was talking about buffalo and that when the Native Americans died off, like literally 90% of them were killed by European diseases.
01:31:54.000 Wild.
01:31:54.000 It's just crazy.
01:31:56.000 And a lot of them that were killed off by Europeans, the buffalo, weren't hunted anymore.
01:32:00.000 So they grew to these mammoth proportions.
01:32:02.000 So it's his contention that those giant fields of buffalo that people experienced, where there was like thousands and thousands and thousands of buffalo stampeding across the field, that would have never taken place if the same amount of Native Americans had been there as previously.
01:32:16.000 Because they weren't controlling the population.
01:32:18.000 They were the primary predator, because all they did was follow these...
01:32:23.000 I mean, that's why they had these teepees.
01:32:24.000 A lot of them would follow the herds of buffalo, and they'd peck at them from the outside.
01:32:28.000 It's just nomadic culture, yeah.
01:32:30.000 And they just stayed with the buffalo, but they also kept their numbers down.
01:32:33.000 Because, you know, if there's several hundred Native Americans, or how many in their camp, they're killing a couple buffalo a day, every day, and everybody's eating it, and then there's no refrigerator.
01:32:41.000 Yeah.
01:33:07.000 Yeah, I mean, it makes sense.
01:33:08.000 One of them actually is a paper.
01:33:09.000 Populations expand exponentially, right?
01:33:12.000 Coyote America, right?
01:33:13.000 Is that it?
01:33:15.000 Coyote America.
01:33:16.000 His new book is Coyote America.
01:33:18.000 It's about the history of the coyote in North America.
01:33:21.000 Dude, it's fascinating shit.
01:33:22.000 Guy's genius.
01:33:23.000 Yeah, he looks like he knows a lot about, like, Northwestern animals.
01:33:27.000 And he lives in New Mexico.
01:33:28.000 You get street cred with naturalists if you live in New Mexico.
01:33:32.000 You know?
01:33:33.000 That's a place where there's a lot of dudes that have gray ponytails.
01:33:38.000 Yeah.
01:33:38.000 Like a lot of gray dudes with ponytails.
01:33:39.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:33:39.000 A little new-agey, a little scary, a little new-agey.
01:33:42.000 Santa Fe.
01:33:43.000 That's where Tate's from.
01:33:44.000 Tate Fletcher's from there.
01:33:45.000 Co-owner of Caveman Coffee.
01:33:47.000 Simply delicious and really pumps you up.
01:33:50.000 Well played, Seth.
01:33:51.000 Thank you.
01:33:51.000 You ever drink these?
01:33:52.000 No, I've never had one.
01:33:53.000 It's Caveman Nitro.
01:33:54.000 How susceptible are you to caffeine?
01:33:58.000 270 milligrams in that motherfucker.
01:34:01.000 Versus how much in a cup of coffee?
01:34:02.000 A large Starbucks, I think, is like that much.
01:34:05.000 Like a Venti Starbucks?
01:34:07.000 Yeah.
01:34:07.000 How many times have we gone over this and I can never remember the numbers?
01:34:10.000 I want to say that a Venti Starbucks is like 250 or 240, and that's a touch more.
01:34:18.000 I don't really need it.
01:34:20.000 All right, bro.
01:34:20.000 If you're scared.
01:34:21.000 I'll drink it.
01:34:22.000 If you're scared, bro.
01:34:23.000 I thought you were kind of giving me the vibe of like, look, I don't have too many, you know?
01:34:26.000 No, no, I have a ton of them.
01:34:27.000 I just got a new shipment.
01:34:28.000 No, that's not what I was giving the vibe.
01:34:29.000 I just always tell people, because I've given it to people, and then like an hour into the show, they're like, dude, I'm on crack!
01:34:36.000 I'm going to call you later and be like, I ran home.
01:34:39.000 I ran back to West Hollywood.
01:34:40.000 Okay, so a venti.
01:34:41.000 Wow, was I wrong.
01:34:43.000 415 milligrams.
01:34:44.000 Holy shit.
01:34:45.000 So this is a tall.
01:34:46.000 Wow, did they jack up the caffeine?
01:34:48.000 Yeah, I don't know.
01:34:49.000 Was it always this high?
01:34:51.000 Come on.
01:34:52.000 Was it really always this high?
01:34:54.000 I feel like we looked at it, maybe the numbers have changed.
01:34:56.000 Dude, I thought the old number for like a cup of coffee for a diner was 40. Isn't it amazing?
01:35:02.000 I thought it was 40 milligrams.
01:35:04.000 I always think about like, caffeine's just a drug.
01:35:06.000 Yeah.
01:35:07.000 So this is just, these guys just steal a drug.
01:35:09.000 Oh, no, no.
01:35:09.000 It's a drug in a delicious bean form.
01:35:11.000 No, but it's also addictive, you know, like once you're in, you're in.
01:35:14.000 You can't not drink coffee.
01:35:15.000 As a person who would like to deny all of his addictions, I can't follow with you on this.
01:35:20.000 Really?
01:35:20.000 I think it's a lovely cup of coffee.
01:35:21.000 You don't think that, could you wake up and not have one?
01:35:23.000 Why would I do that when it's real?
01:35:26.000 Why?
01:35:27.000 Why?
01:35:28.000 Just to show everybody that I can?
01:35:29.000 That's like when people are always like, pot's not addictive.
01:35:32.000 I'm like, have you tried not smoking it for a week?
01:35:35.000 I could anytime.
01:35:37.000 The average caffeine content of an 8-ounce brewed cup of coffee is 95 milligrams.
01:35:43.000 So yeah, so Starbucks is way more.
01:35:46.000 So an average cup of coffee is 95. That's a lot more.
01:35:49.000 I would have guessed that was way high.
01:35:51.000 I thought, I for some reason thought in my head like a cup of coffee from a diner.
01:35:55.000 You know one of those reasonable small cups of coffee?
01:35:58.000 Yeah.
01:35:58.000 I remember that being 40. But that makes sense because like a real cup of coffee is probably double that size anyway.
01:36:03.000 So it would be like 90. But 460, so it's not as bad as a venti.
01:36:07.000 It's more like a tall.
01:36:09.000 460?
01:36:10.000 A lot of caffeine, man.
01:36:11.000 I feel like they jacked that caffeine up.
01:36:13.000 Some people get super conditioned to it.
01:36:16.000 Like Tate.
01:36:17.000 My friend Tate, the owner of the company, he can drink five of those fucking things.
01:36:20.000 Just sit here and throw them back.
01:36:21.000 Yeah.
01:36:21.000 But he's also a gorilla.
01:36:23.000 He's a big giant dude.
01:36:23.000 That's a big factor.
01:36:25.000 It's a factor.
01:36:25.000 How much body weight you have.
01:36:26.000 Yeah, he's moving around a lot of tissue.
01:36:28.000 He's probably too.
01:36:29.000 240-ish.
01:36:29.000 I mean, I have friends who can drink like that, but they're just big dudes.
01:36:32.000 Giant dudes.
01:36:33.000 Giant dudes, yeah.
01:36:34.000 My friend Justin, I have a friend who's a legit giant.
01:36:36.000 He's like seven feet tall.
01:36:37.000 You do?
01:36:38.000 He's a fucking big giant dude.
01:36:39.000 Huge, yeah.
01:36:39.000 And he can put down some Makers and Coke that will fuck you up.
01:36:42.000 Yeah.
01:36:42.000 You can't try to keep up.
01:36:43.000 You can't try to keep up.
01:36:44.000 Yeah, I have a couple friends like that.
01:36:45.000 They're like, let's grab another one.
01:36:46.000 I'm like, dude, I'm going to die.
01:36:47.000 You'll go to the Darklands.
01:36:48.000 Yeah.
01:36:50.000 I'm like, I'll keep drinking, but let me...
01:36:54.000 To have a glass of water here, you know?
01:36:56.000 Dudes who just fucking booze.
01:36:58.000 I grew up with a lot of guys like that.
01:37:00.000 Long Island where I grew up, it's like a lot of Irish dudes who just...
01:37:04.000 We would be in high school and they would bring their own 12-pack to the party and drink 12 beers at a party like no big deal.
01:37:10.000 They look like a wine barrel.
01:37:12.000 Yeah.
01:37:12.000 Those guys can put away booze.
01:37:14.000 They're built like a barrel for booze.
01:37:16.000 And they love beer.
01:37:17.000 They love beer.
01:37:18.000 It's not like if you want to have a whiskey with them, they're like, nah, let's have a beer.
01:37:22.000 Love beer.
01:37:23.000 Just fucking...
01:37:24.000 Beer gives you both carbs and booze at the same time.
01:37:27.000 Yeah.
01:37:27.000 It's like a double whammy.
01:37:28.000 They love it.
01:37:29.000 Double whammy of satisfaction.
01:37:30.000 It's like having whiskey and pasta, you know?
01:37:34.000 Yeah, ew.
01:37:34.000 It's like what it's like.
01:37:35.000 But if you have, like, beer and crab, like cracking open some crab claws with an ice-cold beer.
01:37:43.000 Delicious.
01:37:43.000 Delicious.
01:37:44.000 A nice Sam Adams.
01:37:46.000 I like beer in the can.
01:37:47.000 I'm not going to lie more than I like it out of the bottle.
01:37:49.000 Do you?
01:37:50.000 Yeah.
01:37:50.000 I like a can of beer.
01:37:52.000 Pabst Blue Ribbon out of a can.
01:37:53.000 I feel like I'm getting back to my roots that I don't really have.
01:37:56.000 Yeah, I just like the like, or like Tecate's good out of a can.
01:38:00.000 Like I like having like a, because the can gets really cold.
01:38:03.000 Yeah, Tecate's good.
01:38:04.000 Yeah, it's good.
01:38:05.000 Yeah, Medello.
01:38:06.000 Do they have them in cans?
01:38:07.000 They might.
01:38:09.000 Do they say Medeo or Medello?
01:38:11.000 Is there one L or two L's?
01:38:12.000 Growing up it was, I think it's two L's.
01:38:14.000 Is it?
01:38:14.000 So wouldn't that be Medello?
01:38:16.000 Oh, it's one?
01:38:17.000 Well, there you go.
01:38:18.000 I just lied.
01:38:19.000 Medeo would be two.
01:38:20.000 There's a Medea.
01:38:22.000 Oh yeah?
01:38:23.000 Oh, sneaky bitches.
01:38:24.000 Trying to capitalize on that other name.
01:38:26.000 Is that what's happening?
01:38:27.000 Dum-dum-dum.
01:38:28.000 Modelo.
01:38:28.000 Oh, they got cans.
01:38:29.000 A special.
01:38:31.000 I think it's a lot of cans.
01:38:33.000 There's a video or a YouTube commercial that I watched the other day of this dude who's an astronaut.
01:38:41.000 And it's a Modelo commercial.
01:38:42.000 And he's a Mexican-American.
01:38:46.000 And his dad and him are out there Looking at the sky and they crack beers together and drink a beer together like that's really interesting I got I don't think I've ever seen a beer commercial with an astronaut before yeah, and it's like I kind of feel like it's hard to pull that off Unless it's a Mexican astronaut drinking a Mexican beer with his Mexican dad,
01:39:09.000 then you gotta shut the fuck up.
01:39:10.000 Because people get really mad if you talk some shit about that commercial.
01:39:14.000 Here it is.
01:39:14.000 Look at this dude.
01:39:15.000 This dude was an astronaut.
01:39:17.000 Powerful.
01:39:18.000 Look at that fucking backdrop.
01:39:19.000 Holy shit, that's amazing.
01:39:21.000 I love this tune that they throw in here.
01:39:23.000 Yeah, inspirational music.
01:39:26.000 This is with that Jay-Z Blueprint.
01:39:30.000 He uses it in Blueprint.
01:39:31.000 Jose M. Hernandez, retired U.S. astronaut.
01:39:34.000 And so they click beers by the starlight, he and his pops.
01:39:40.000 You couldn't do that with Budweiser.
01:39:41.000 Could you do that with Jack Daniels?
01:39:43.000 Could you have, like, Jack Daniels?
01:39:44.000 What if Kid Rock's kid becomes an astronaut?
01:39:46.000 Yeah, that's not gonna happen.
01:39:47.000 Kid Rock clinking Jack Daniels bottles in a fucking cornfield with his son who's an astronaut?
01:39:52.000 I don't know why you couldn't.
01:39:53.000 Why not?
01:39:54.000 I mean, why do you think you can't do it with an American?
01:39:56.000 It feels like a very American thing to look at the moon and drink it.
01:39:59.000 People would protest.
01:39:59.000 Remember we put our flag up there?
01:40:01.000 Let's have a bud.
01:40:02.000 Well, soon we're gonna have war in space, Rory.
01:40:05.000 I don't know if you've been paying attention to the news.
01:40:07.000 Some Air Force guy was saying that we have to prepare for the possibility of war in space.
01:40:13.000 That this is an inevitable possibility.
01:40:16.000 Probably with drones.
01:40:17.000 Well, let me ask you this.
01:40:18.000 What was your take on that UFO thing?
01:40:22.000 What does this change?
01:40:23.000 Space.
01:40:24.000 This was a UK ad for a beer.
01:40:25.000 It's all these astronauts in space.
01:40:28.000 They're in space drinking beer?
01:40:29.000 Looks like Armageddon.
01:40:30.000 Wait, there's British astronauts?
01:40:31.000 I had no idea.
01:40:35.000 Belong beer.
01:40:36.000 Wow.
01:40:39.000 That's cool.
01:40:40.000 British astronauts.
01:40:42.000 Remember that UFO thing that happened like two months ago?
01:40:45.000 Which one?
01:40:46.000 And they released...
01:40:46.000 The government was like, we have no idea what this object is.
01:40:49.000 And you heard the pilot in the air like, what the fuck is that?
01:40:51.000 I don't feel like I've seen that.
01:40:52.000 It came across it.
01:40:53.000 Remember, they're like, the UFOs...
01:40:54.000 It happened right after Tom DeLonge was on here.
01:40:57.000 Oh, right.
01:40:58.000 Did we watch it?
01:40:59.000 Did we watch the video?
01:41:00.000 And the government literally confirmed that they don't know what it is and it's a UFO and it's doing things...
01:41:04.000 And then everyone just stopped talking about it.
01:41:05.000 Wait a minute.
01:41:06.000 I don't believe these things enough.
01:41:08.000 I barely pay attention.
01:41:10.000 They come my way and I shut it off.
01:41:11.000 This was on, like, real news sites.
01:41:13.000 Right.
01:41:14.000 But what is the video?
01:41:15.000 Can we see the video again?
01:41:16.000 There it is.
01:41:16.000 Let me see it again.
01:41:19.000 Oh!
01:41:20.000 See, stop.
01:41:21.000 Hold on.
01:41:21.000 This has been...
01:41:22.000 Now I remember.
01:41:23.000 This has been debunked.
01:41:25.000 It has?
01:41:25.000 Yeah, you know who debunked it?
01:41:28.000 What's his face?
01:41:29.000 Um, Mick West.
01:41:31.000 Mick West from metabunk.com.
01:41:32.000 What they did was they changed the perspective from 1x to 2x.
01:41:37.000 So when, see, when you're looking at something zoomed in, things move faster.
01:41:42.000 Your sight picture is much quicker.
01:41:44.000 When you're at normal, your sight picture's slower.
01:41:47.000 So like, as you zoom in, everything looks faster.
01:41:49.000 So when the thing moved out of frame so fast, it was because it had been zoomed in on.
01:41:54.000 Not because it took off at some insane rate of speed.
01:41:56.000 In other words, the pilot was just fucking with the government?
01:41:59.000 No, they didn't know any better.
01:42:00.000 Whoever released the video didn't look at it.
01:42:02.000 These Metabunk guys looked at the video, and you can see all the numbers on the screen.
01:42:06.000 When you look at the video, you see what his perspective is, X1, X2, and he points out, look here, it goes to X2, and then it just moves out of frame.
01:42:13.000 It's not even that it took off.
01:42:15.000 You're snapping in on it.
01:42:16.000 You're looking at it from a totally different perspective.
01:42:18.000 Now you're looking at it from a zoomed-in perspective.
01:42:20.000 That's interesting.
01:42:21.000 Yeah, see if you can find it.
01:42:23.000 He's got a bunch of pictures.
01:42:25.000 My dream was that it was going to be aliens, and their goal was they needed plastic.
01:42:30.000 He's got a bunch of photos in it.
01:42:32.000 See if you can find the photos.
01:42:33.000 He points them out.
01:42:34.000 That's what I was hoping.
01:42:35.000 They were going to go like, our planet needs plastic.
01:42:37.000 Do you have any?
01:42:37.000 We have so much.
01:42:39.000 In the ocean, you can just take it all.
01:42:41.000 And then they just cleaned it all up, and things got better.
01:42:45.000 Like they went to the Pacific garbage patch, and just were like, and then they left.
01:42:49.000 Mmm.
01:42:50.000 Yeah.
01:42:51.000 A specific garbage patch.
01:42:52.000 There's a kid who's got a solution to that.
01:42:55.000 Like a young man who figured out a solution.
01:42:58.000 God damn it.
01:42:59.000 I'm supposed to be in contact with that fellow.
01:43:01.000 I'd be curious to know what that solution is.
01:43:03.000 Some sort of a machine that skims the ocean for plastic and it collects all the plastic.
01:43:10.000 Huh.
01:43:11.000 Yeah.
01:43:11.000 And I don't know what it's powered by.
01:43:13.000 I I want to say it's powered.
01:43:15.000 It's a solar-powered thing.
01:43:16.000 That was the concept behind it.
01:43:18.000 Like a Roomba?
01:43:19.000 Dutch students' giant ocean cleanup machine is going into production.
01:43:23.000 Uventer says the technology will solve the marine plastic crisis, but some scientists are skeptical.
01:43:29.000 As they should be.
01:43:31.000 There are scientists.
01:43:32.000 Boyan Slott.
01:43:34.000 Boyan Slott.
01:43:35.000 Look at how much it's growing.
01:43:36.000 Right.
01:43:37.000 I was connected to him through email.
01:43:38.000 How much it's growing by.
01:43:39.000 Let me write it down.
01:43:40.000 Eight million tons a year.
01:43:43.000 That's insane.
01:43:44.000 How do you spell his last name?
01:43:45.000 S-L-A-T. Plastic is growing eight million times a year.
01:43:50.000 We thought once we throw it away, oh, it's thrown away.
01:43:53.000 They've got it.
01:43:54.000 No.
01:43:55.000 Shit falls off.
01:43:56.000 There's fucking dumps.
01:43:58.000 They leave it sitting there.
01:43:58.000 Birds fly to the dump.
01:44:00.000 They pick it up.
01:44:00.000 They fly away with it.
01:44:01.000 They don't know what it is.
01:44:02.000 The craziest thing is how the ocean currents all lead to one place, you know?
01:44:06.000 Weird.
01:44:06.000 It's so weird.
01:44:07.000 It's weird that you could see it all swirling together.
01:44:09.000 Yeah, and it's like the size of Texas, I think they said.
01:44:11.000 And they say it breaks down all the plastic into these weird little particles.
01:44:17.000 Yeah, and that's why they're pulling fish out with stomachs full of plastic.
01:44:21.000 Fish out with it and more birds.
01:44:23.000 Birds are dying and they're feeding it to their kids.
01:44:25.000 And they find babies in the nest that have these plastic caps filled in their stomach.
01:44:31.000 It's really horrible.
01:44:33.000 Have you seen that?
01:44:34.000 There's the balloon.
01:44:35.000 To the stars.
01:44:36.000 Party balloon.
01:44:36.000 That's what they saw.
01:44:37.000 Oh, yeah.
01:44:38.000 Is that really what they saw?
01:44:39.000 That's what this says.
01:44:40.000 Stop it.
01:44:40.000 It's on his website.
01:44:43.000 Well, it might be that.
01:44:46.000 You say they were tracking a party balloon in an F-16?
01:44:49.000 Is that what it's supposed to be saying?
01:44:51.000 Yeah, the explanation I had on the other website said that exactly what you were describing as I was reading it, like the camera angles were off and you can follow the angle with the clouds moving with the balloon.
01:45:02.000 Well, once you zoom in on something, that's what happens.
01:45:05.000 I mean, if you've ever looked through a binocular, if you're trying to hold a binocular, the more powerful the binoculars are, The more, like, the picture at the end seems shaky.
01:45:14.000 Yeah, same as you zoom in on your phone.
01:45:16.000 Take a picture.
01:45:17.000 It's not an optical zoom, it's a digital zoom.
01:45:20.000 Exactly.
01:45:21.000 So that was the explanation for the bizarre behavior of that object, apparently.
01:45:27.000 That is so funny to me.
01:45:29.000 It was a party balloon.
01:45:30.000 What's that Jamie?
01:45:31.000 There's another one too that was like this was the day before he posted which a second video similarly.
01:45:36.000 I don't know if this was the one that everyone was talking about.
01:45:38.000 Dude, nobody wants UFOs to be more real than me.
01:45:40.000 That's why I was asking you about it.
01:45:42.000 Nobody.
01:45:43.000 But I'm also I don't I don't buy a lot of the thinking that goes behind these things because people just want to think that it's real.
01:45:51.000 They want to think it's real so bad that they're not looking at it completely objectively.
01:45:56.000 If it is real We gotta know for sure.
01:45:59.000 And there's no way you know for sure this way.
01:46:02.000 This just doesn't seem like we know for sure.
01:46:04.000 This seems more like what he's saying is correct.
01:46:07.000 If you see the perspective shift, you see the way the thing moves shift.
01:46:11.000 But this is what we were talking about earlier about, like, the government and conspiracy.
01:46:14.000 Like, that's a perfect example.
01:46:15.000 The government's like, we have no idea what this is, and we're confirming it was a UFO. And then guys who aren't in the government are like, yeah, it's a fucking balloon, dude.
01:46:22.000 Jamie, scroll back down.
01:46:24.000 What does it say there?
01:46:25.000 This little animation.
01:46:27.000 It says the flare around the much closer engines rotate independently of the rotation of the plane.
01:46:36.000 What does that mean?
01:46:39.000 I'm not sure I get this.
01:46:40.000 I think we're halfway in the middle of this page.
01:46:42.000 That's part of the problem.
01:46:43.000 They're explaining something in a long, drawn-out...
01:46:46.000 Because it's infrared.
01:46:46.000 Yeah.
01:46:47.000 See, there's a lot of these things that have been proven to be horseshit.
01:46:50.000 And people see the video footage and they think, oh my god, it's a UFO. Oh no, it turns out it's an oil thing that's on fire in the distance.
01:46:57.000 Like, there's a lot of weird things that you see in these, like, real blurry infrared scans of shit or whatever that is, night vision scans.
01:47:05.000 Yeah.
01:47:05.000 I want to see some real shit where you look at it and you go, okay.
01:47:09.000 Yeah, definitive proof.
01:47:10.000 That's a fucking UFO. Like, what is that?
01:47:12.000 Is that real?
01:47:13.000 And if someone says that there's no way they're going to fake that, then I'm curious.
01:47:18.000 But right now, I just think too many people want it to be real so bad.
01:47:21.000 Yeah, but for the Pentagon, the Pentagon sat on that for like 10 years and then released it.
01:47:25.000 And no one in the Pentagon figured it out until it got out into the private sector online and something was like, it's a balloon, and you zoomed in on it, you fucking idiots.
01:47:33.000 Look, it says 2X. That's my point about government conspiracies.
01:47:36.000 I'm like, yeah, it just seems like incompetence to me.
01:47:39.000 It could be.
01:47:40.000 Like, nobody looked at that closer.
01:47:41.000 They were like, it's a UFO we've known for 10 years.
01:47:44.000 But that's just the people that were responsible for that, that were incompetent.
01:47:47.000 Sure.
01:47:47.000 Do you think that you would give the fucking UFO searching job to anyone you wanted to do real shit?
01:47:53.000 The UFO searching job is the job you give to your friend's cousin.
01:47:57.000 That's fair.
01:47:57.000 You get him a job at the CIA. That's fair.
01:47:59.000 You are going to be involved in a top secret operation.
01:48:04.000 Hey, Wachowski, get in here and we got a job for you.
01:48:06.000 You are going to be searching for UFO. What do you know?
01:48:09.000 What do you know?
01:48:11.000 We're going to rely on you.
01:48:12.000 You've been carefully selected.
01:48:15.000 Remember Spies Like Us?
01:48:16.000 This fucking stupid dude to interview people in their farms and shit that are all high on moonshine and crystal meth.
01:48:22.000 No, I saw it.
01:48:23.000 I saw it.
01:48:24.000 It was lit up like a goddamn candle.
01:48:28.000 Remember that movie Spies Like Us with Dan Aykroyd and Chevy Chase?
01:48:30.000 Yeah.
01:48:30.000 The premise of that movie is they're total fucking morons, so they use them as decoys.
01:48:36.000 That's gotta happen.
01:48:37.000 It's a really funny concept.
01:48:38.000 That's gotta happen.
01:48:39.000 That must happen a lot.
01:48:40.000 They give him a fake mission, like, yeah, just go here into Russia.
01:48:43.000 And then the Russians are looking at them, not the actual spot.
01:48:47.000 What was the movie with Springtime for Hitler?
01:48:50.000 Oh, the producers.
01:48:51.000 The producers.
01:48:52.000 Yeah, that's Mel Brooks.
01:48:53.000 Mel Brooks, sorry.
01:48:53.000 Did I say Woody Allen?
01:48:54.000 Yeah.
01:48:55.000 Mel Brooks made a movie where they set...
01:48:56.000 Pretty similar.
01:48:57.000 Well, not really.
01:48:58.000 But they both wrote for Sid Caesar.
01:49:00.000 Yes, there you go.
01:49:03.000 It's about them making a play that they thought was going to be a total failure and turns out to be a smash.
01:49:08.000 They were trying to lose money.
01:49:09.000 Spring time for Hitler.
01:49:11.000 They wrote the biggest bomb they could make, because they figured out how to game the system, that if it's a bomb, they get all this reimbursement money, you know?
01:49:18.000 And everyone's walking out, and then all of a sudden, like, a moment occurs where they think it's a comedy, and they start laughing at it, and then, like, everyone's like, get back in here!
01:49:28.000 You know, the act two.
01:49:29.000 It's really funny.
01:49:30.000 That movie's amazing, dude.
01:49:32.000 Zero Marstel is the guy, yeah.
01:49:35.000 Is it Gene Hackman, too?
01:49:36.000 Maybe Ali Stock and Bloom?
01:49:38.000 God, is it Gene?
01:49:39.000 No, not Gene, Gene Wilder, I mean.
01:49:40.000 Yes, Gene Wilder, I think, isn't it?
01:49:42.000 I think it's Bialy, Stock and Bloom is their name.
01:49:45.000 Dude, I used to love Gene Wilder when he was paired up with Richard Pryor.
01:49:48.000 God, I'm such a Gene Wilder fan, dude.
01:49:51.000 I love that guy.
01:49:52.000 The producers, yeah, look at him there.
01:49:53.000 But when he paired up with Richard Pryor, those movies were magical, man.
01:49:59.000 Stir Crazy and Hear No Evil.
01:50:02.000 They did a bunch of them.
01:50:04.000 Stir Crazy was funny when they were in prison together.
01:50:07.000 I just re-watched with my nephew's Willy Wonka with Gene Wilder.
01:50:15.000 Oh, yeah.
01:50:16.000 It's fucking unreal how good that guy is.
01:50:20.000 He was amazing.
01:50:21.000 Everything he did was...
01:50:22.000 Oh, and Blazing Saddles, one of my favorites.
01:50:25.000 Yeah, man.
01:50:27.000 He's almost like a forgotten genius.
01:50:30.000 Yeah.
01:50:30.000 He just died.
01:50:31.000 He just died last year.
01:50:32.000 You don't hear him talked about.
01:50:33.000 As much as he should be.
01:50:34.000 As much as he should be, yeah.
01:50:35.000 He's amazing.
01:50:37.000 The camaraderie that he had with Richard prior to was just so interesting.
01:50:41.000 He was real.
01:50:41.000 It felt real.
01:50:42.000 You remember when they walked into the prison like, that's right, that's right, we bad.
01:50:45.000 Yeah, we bad.
01:50:46.000 We bad.
01:50:47.000 See if you can find that.
01:50:48.000 He's like, follow my lead.
01:50:49.000 That'll get us kicked off YouTube, right?
01:50:51.000 Won't it?
01:50:51.000 Probably.
01:50:52.000 Somebody owns it.
01:50:53.000 Oh, gotcha.
01:50:54.000 These motherfuckers.
01:50:55.000 Even if you play a clip?
01:50:56.000 Yep, yep.
01:50:57.000 Wow.
01:50:57.000 Yeah, you get pulled.
01:50:58.000 Yeah, I had that my nightly show.
01:51:00.000 There they are.
01:51:01.000 That's so funny.
01:51:02.000 That's right.
01:51:03.000 That's right.
01:51:03.000 We bad.
01:51:04.000 We bad.
01:51:05.000 Dude.
01:51:06.000 Yeah, that's stir-crazy.
01:51:07.000 Richard Pryor is one of the few great comedians that I loved as much in movies.
01:51:13.000 Look at him.
01:51:15.000 I loved as much in movies as I did seeing him doing stand-up.
01:51:19.000 Look at him!
01:51:21.000 Look how bad G. Wilder is at it.
01:51:27.000 Look at this.
01:51:31.000 That's hilarious.
01:51:38.000 Yeah!
01:51:39.000 This is so ridiculous.
01:51:41.000 Look how he's walking.
01:51:42.000 Like, they didn't know even, you know, like, movies back then were just so innocent.
01:51:46.000 They're also, like, scenes took so long.
01:51:49.000 Like, look how long this walk is.
01:51:50.000 Yeah.
01:51:53.000 That's right.
01:51:54.000 That's right.
01:51:59.000 This is not playing over YouTube, right?
01:52:00.000 No, okay.
01:52:02.000 It's probably frustrating for people.
01:52:04.000 Fantastic.
01:52:04.000 What is it?
01:52:04.000 The name of the...
01:52:05.000 That's right.
01:52:06.000 Stir Crazy.
01:52:07.000 That's right.
01:52:07.000 We Bad.
01:52:08.000 We Don't Take No Shit.
01:52:09.000 That's the...
01:52:11.000 That's the name of the clip if you want to watch it on YouTube.
01:52:13.000 Remember, also, like, Richard Pryor, that movie with Jackie Gleason, The Toy?
01:52:17.000 Oh, yeah!
01:52:18.000 That movie's funny.
01:52:19.000 Yeah.
01:52:19.000 Dude, he had a bunch of great movies, man.
01:52:20.000 That was, like, so much of my childhood.
01:52:22.000 Yeah, Brewster's Millions was fun.
01:52:24.000 Yeah.
01:52:24.000 Uh-huh.
01:52:26.000 John Candy, I think, is in Brewster's Millions.
01:52:28.000 Just a funny fucking dude, man.
01:52:30.000 The concept of Brewster's Millions is a great concept for a movie.
01:52:32.000 He gets $30 million, and he has to spend it all in a week, and he can't have any assets, and if he does it, he gets $300 million.
01:52:41.000 Yeah, so it's like he's got to like just get rid of all this money as fast as he can, you know?
01:52:44.000 I completely forgot about that movie if you hadn't brought it up Like here's a here's a freak out every year Every year they make new movies movies don't go away, but every year they make new movies Yep, like movies just get lost in the shuffle big time.
01:53:00.000 There's too many movies You know what the amount of movies yeah, so you could just watch uh-huh Has there ever been a time where people had more access to shit to entertain them?
01:53:10.000 Just content.
01:53:11.000 Constant, all day, sitting there glued, and it's just coming at you while you're completely immobile.
01:53:15.000 It's insane.
01:53:17.000 I mean, like, when you're flying on a plane now, right?
01:53:20.000 Yeah.
01:53:20.000 Hundreds of movies, right there.
01:53:21.000 Pick a movie.
01:53:22.000 It just plays in your seat.
01:53:24.000 I talk to people about this all the time, just like, you know, like, people used to just sit.
01:53:30.000 Like I was at dinner with my girlfriend the other day.
01:53:32.000 I left my phone at the table.
01:53:33.000 I went to the bathroom and for some reason there was a line for the bathroom.
01:53:36.000 There were like two co-ed bathrooms and there was like people waiting.
01:53:38.000 So I didn't have my phone and I just stood there.
01:53:40.000 And it was like much longer than I thought it would be.
01:53:42.000 And I'm just standing there with nothing to read, nothing to do.
01:53:45.000 And it's like...
01:53:46.000 It's bullshit.
01:53:47.000 And then I'm like, this is just how we used to live.
01:53:50.000 Like I couldn't even wrap my brain around it.
01:53:52.000 Well, it's how some people still live.
01:53:53.000 Like Ari.
01:53:54.000 Ari Shaffir with his flip phone.
01:53:56.000 Really?
01:53:56.000 That's how he's living.
01:53:57.000 Yeah.
01:53:58.000 Yeah.
01:53:58.000 I don't know.
01:53:59.000 He just keeps that stupid fucking thing in his pocket.
01:54:01.000 Yeah, Kel has a flip phone, too.
01:54:02.000 Yeah, all those savages.
01:54:03.000 How's he on Instagram, though?
01:54:05.000 Yeah, he's got an iPad.
01:54:08.000 That's kind of a workaround, though.
01:54:10.000 That's when people are like, I don't have TV. I'm like, do you have the internet?
01:54:12.000 They're like, yes.
01:54:13.000 I'm like, fuck you, you have TV. Just because you don't have a cable box in your house doesn't mean you don't have TV. Hey, man, I've disconnected from TV. Do you have high-speed internet?
01:54:20.000 Yes.
01:54:21.000 All right, fuck you.
01:54:21.000 I watch HBO Go only.
01:54:23.000 Yeah, exactly.
01:54:25.000 I know it's not TV, it's HBO, but it's still TV. It is weird, right, that everybody wants to be the guy that tells you that they have abandoned television.
01:54:33.000 I just read a lot of books, man.
01:54:34.000 Yeah, really?
01:54:34.000 A little bit better than you.
01:54:36.000 Yeah, a little bit.
01:54:37.000 That was like the whole hipster movement.
01:54:39.000 Mostly I eat organic and just read.
01:54:41.000 Well, I just make my own pickles, but yeah, I guess buying them is fine.
01:54:44.000 You're like, fuck off, dude.
01:54:45.000 I make my own shoes.
01:54:46.000 Yeah, I'm a gobbler and a pickler.
01:54:50.000 I do think that there's periods of time where things are at their peak, like LPs for music in your home.
01:54:58.000 Sure, it's fun to have a record playing in some records, but at the end of the day, if I'm going to listen to music, I can just throw it on Spotify and it just plays forever.
01:55:09.000 It's fun, the novelty of putting on a record and listening and then taking it off and flipping it, but If the activity you're doing is listening to music, and you want to listen to an album all the way through, but if I wanted to play a tune for you, I can find it.
01:55:24.000 Find the line on the record that's that song.
01:55:28.000 Counting lines.
01:55:29.000 There's just...
01:55:31.000 I don't know.
01:55:31.000 I like that people have a tendency to try to keep stuff in its pure form, but at the same time, you're like, whatever, man.
01:55:39.000 You don't have a Victrola in your house.
01:55:41.000 But a Victrola's not good.
01:55:42.000 Doesn't sound good, yeah.
01:55:43.000 Like, Henry Rollins would give you a different perspective on it, because he's a fanatic about music.
01:55:47.000 Well, Neil Young, too.
01:55:49.000 Neil Young had a whole website he created for music to sound, to download music, and it's like raw music.
01:55:54.000 Yeah.
01:55:55.000 Full LP form.
01:55:56.000 Well, he actually had a device that he was selling.
01:55:58.000 That's what it was, like a Zune or something?
01:55:59.000 Yeah, it was one of those things, and I don't know how successful it was, but for the audiophile, it was like one of the best sort of devices for digital music.
01:56:07.000 I thought it was just a website, but yeah.
01:56:08.000 No, he had a real device.
01:56:10.000 It's not compressed music.
01:56:11.000 Yeah.
01:56:12.000 Rollins has a crazy setup in his house though, and he loves records, and he's got these fucking speakers.
01:56:16.000 What did we find out how much those speakers are?
01:56:18.000 They're like quarter million dollars or something ridiculous?
01:56:20.000 I was gonna say like 15 grand.
01:56:21.000 Dude, no, he's got something bananas in his house.
01:56:25.000 That's insane.
01:56:25.000 He's got some crazy setup, and so he'll like sit around and just like play music some days.
01:56:31.000 Just sit down and just play some music and sit and listen to music like that.
01:56:36.000 Look at his speakers.
01:56:37.000 And there's all his records.
01:56:39.000 Holy shit.
01:56:40.000 It's crazy.
01:56:41.000 I mean, that's an intense experience.
01:56:44.000 I don't even think that has to be loud.
01:56:48.000 I think what you're getting out of that is just this pure sound.
01:56:52.000 It's not that Henry Rollins is destroying his neighbor's life every day with his music.
01:56:57.000 You're getting every level of the music.
01:56:59.000 You're getting every track, every...
01:57:00.000 I bet if we went to Henry Rollins' house and he played music for us, we could understand what the fuck he's talking about.
01:57:06.000 Sure.
01:57:06.000 But again, like, I love music, but to me, I don't know if maybe my hearing's not as good.
01:57:11.000 I'm like, whatever.
01:57:12.000 I don't know if you've ever experienced it.
01:57:14.000 Like, I've never experienced those things, but I've experienced, like, a really good car stereo.
01:57:17.000 Like, where you play, like, a whole lot of love, and you hear the cymbals all around you.
01:57:21.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:57:22.000 It's badass.
01:57:23.000 Ah!
01:57:24.000 Ah!
01:57:24.000 Ah!
01:57:25.000 It's what headphones give you.
01:57:26.000 Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun.
01:57:29.000 But you hear it, like, move around.
01:57:31.000 That's cool.
01:57:32.000 Yeah, you can hear that in a car stereo sometimes.
01:57:35.000 Or good headsets.
01:57:37.000 Good headphones again.
01:57:38.000 Yeah, that kind of go like these, like, over-the-ear ones.
01:57:40.000 You can hear some shit that you've never heard before in your car.
01:57:43.000 But that's where that Neil Young thing comes in, because if it's like a compressed iTunes file, it's not really there anyway, because they blended all the stuff into, like, one track.
01:57:53.000 Well, Jamie, you've tried to explain the whole record sound, right?
01:57:56.000 It's like a warmer sound, isn't it?
01:57:58.000 A little bit, yeah.
01:57:58.000 I mean, I was going to say that what you were just describing is they used to sell that as, like, in stereo or, like, mixed in stereo.
01:58:06.000 Before there was even stereos available.
01:58:08.000 It just means it's a left and right mix.
01:58:10.000 So you're hearing things mixed.
01:58:12.000 Yeah, versus mono, which is just everything stuck together.
01:58:17.000 But if you, like, play around in a...
01:58:20.000 Garage band, you can really start to understand what it is, because you can lay down several different tracks of different music, different instruments, different things.
01:58:29.000 And then, if you want, you can mix them all together into one strip of content.
01:58:34.000 But if you keep them all separately, they're all playing as more of a symphony.
01:58:40.000 But it's a much bigger file.
01:58:44.000 You know?
01:58:44.000 But if you compress it into one, then you can make, like, an mp3 out of it.
01:58:47.000 Right.
01:58:48.000 And then it sounds just flatter.
01:58:49.000 Sure.
01:58:50.000 Yeah.
01:58:50.000 But, you know, it gives you the ability to, like, raise the drums or lower the, you know.
01:58:55.000 Yeah.
01:58:56.000 So it's...
01:58:57.000 You can see why if you're a real audiophile or a real musician, you're like, that's the only way I want to hear music.
01:59:02.000 Yeah, I could totally get it.
01:59:03.000 I mean, I totally get it.
01:59:04.000 Especially someone like Rollins, who's a musician himself, and probably has a deeper appreciation for the sounds and their purest forms.
01:59:11.000 Of course.
01:59:11.000 Yeah.
01:59:12.000 Do you know what octaves are?
01:59:13.000 Do you understand what octaves are?
01:59:14.000 No.
01:59:15.000 So if you look at a piano, it's really only like eight keys over and over and over and over again.
01:59:19.000 So there's like a C, but it's on that Okay.
01:59:47.000 But that's when you have these giant speakers.
01:59:48.000 They kind of allow the sounds that even we can't hear to exist because they affect the ones we can hear.
01:59:55.000 And when you're compressing them, those sounds kind of get chopped off because you don't really need them.
02:00:01.000 And that's when digital music can kind of sound bad and then this radio or record quality...
02:00:06.000 I don't mean radio.
02:00:06.000 Yeah, that's why the resurgence of records came back, yeah.
02:00:10.000 It's also people love the ritual of laying the record down the turntable, putting the needle on the crack, sitting back, you know, hey man, they made this in 79. They were the last remaining people from Woodstock.
02:00:25.000 There is like a...
02:00:26.000 Component of rock music that just peaked at a certain time and sounds a certain way.
02:00:33.000 Right.
02:00:33.000 I know Zeppelin stole a lot of stuff, but there's something about that.
02:00:38.000 Even the Creed, those dudes, their voices were like...
02:00:43.000 That was a real original band, too.
02:00:48.000 Yeah.
02:00:49.000 There's a bad moon on the rise.
02:00:51.000 And then one of those dudes...
02:00:53.000 Fortunate Son, that's another great one.
02:00:55.000 And who sings Simple Man?
02:00:59.000 What do you call it?
02:01:00.000 Allman Brothers?
02:01:00.000 No, Leonard Skinner.
02:01:01.000 Oh, Simple Man, that's right.
02:01:03.000 That's one of the most fucked up stories of all time, though, the way those guys died.
02:01:08.000 Do you know that one of them survived the crash and got shot by a guy whose land he landed on?
02:01:13.000 Yeah.
02:01:13.000 Yeah.
02:01:14.000 Did he survive the bullet?
02:01:16.000 No.
02:01:17.000 That's what killed him?
02:01:19.000 Everyone died in a plane crash and this guy's like, holy shit, I survived.
02:01:22.000 Fucking shit.
02:01:22.000 Oh my god.
02:01:23.000 It's like the worst thing.
02:01:25.000 That's so crazy.
02:01:26.000 Yeah.
02:01:26.000 Where'd they crash?
02:01:27.000 I think in like a swamp or something.
02:01:31.000 That's right.
02:01:32.000 Now I remember the story, but why did I think that the guy survived the bullet?
02:01:36.000 Imagine that shit getting shot.
02:01:37.000 Maybe I'm wrong.
02:01:38.000 I thought he died on sight.
02:01:39.000 You might be right.
02:01:40.000 Yeah.
02:01:40.000 I have no idea.
02:01:41.000 Like, holy shit, we survived!
02:01:42.000 Boom.
02:01:43.000 Yeah.
02:01:43.000 Jesus Christ.
02:01:44.000 It's the worst.
02:01:45.000 Fucking plane crashes.
02:01:46.000 Killed Rocky Marciano, too.
02:01:48.000 Buddy Holly.
02:01:49.000 The Big Bopper.
02:01:50.000 Big Bopper.
02:01:51.000 Richie Valens.
02:01:53.000 Selena.
02:01:55.000 Oh, no.
02:01:56.000 Selene got killed by her assistant.
02:01:58.000 Oh, there was somebody who crashed in a plane.
02:02:00.000 Aaliyah.
02:02:00.000 Aaliyah.
02:02:01.000 I'm sorry.
02:02:01.000 You're a racist.
02:02:02.000 Yeah.
02:02:03.000 You're a racist.
02:02:03.000 They both end in a...
02:02:05.000 Stevie Ray Vaughan helicopter crash.
02:02:07.000 Yeah.
02:02:07.000 How quick are people to pull the racist trigger these days?
02:02:09.000 They're just ready.
02:02:10.000 Oh, yeah.
02:02:10.000 Fucking...
02:02:11.000 I got one!
02:02:11.000 I got one!
02:02:11.000 I got one!
02:02:12.000 I had one the other day where I was at a New York comedy club in New York, and the manager, there's this guy, Drew, awesome guy, and...
02:02:20.000 He's a black dude.
02:02:21.000 And I was leaving and I said goodnight to him, but I said goodnight to another black dude.
02:02:25.000 They were like basically wearing the same thing, but all the comics in the bar, it was like a bunch of black dudes.
02:02:30.000 They were like, oh!
02:02:31.000 I'm like, I don't know what to tell you.
02:02:33.000 I'm like, I guess I'm racist.
02:02:35.000 Everyone was laughing, but it was one of those moments where I'm like, yeah, I have no excuse.
02:02:38.000 I wasn't paying attention, but at the same time, I was like, see you, Drew!
02:02:42.000 And he was like, I'm Dre.
02:02:43.000 I'm like, oh, I'm an idiot!
02:02:45.000 And I don't think that's...
02:02:46.000 Obviously, it's not because I can't tell black people apart.
02:02:49.000 I just was like, On my phone, half paying attention.
02:02:51.000 It was like peripheral vision.
02:02:53.000 But when those moments happen, it's just funny to be like, yeah, you got me, man.
02:02:56.000 It's just in my DNA. If you thought it was a white guy, and it was a different white guy, nobody would give a shit.
02:03:01.000 Nobody would give a shit, yeah.
02:03:02.000 But I get it.
02:03:02.000 At least in the comedy world, you make a joke out of it.
02:03:06.000 In the real world, I'm at a comedy club, everyone's fucking around.
02:03:09.000 But in the real world, no, you do that, you look like a dick.
02:03:12.000 We're in one of the last groups of people that do something for a living that you can...
02:03:17.000 We get away with saying ridiculous shit to each other, and we all like it.
02:03:21.000 Well, I think it's dying, though.
02:03:22.000 Really?
02:03:22.000 Comics?
02:03:22.000 I'm noticing, depending on who's in the room, comics.
02:03:26.000 Like, there's certain comics now that you can say stuff, and they get offended, and you're going, well, I'm out.
02:03:30.000 Like, that's how I always felt about writer's rooms.
02:03:32.000 The best thing about a writer's room in a comedy show...
02:03:35.000 Is the ability to say stuff that you cannot say in civilization.
02:03:39.000 Yeah, of course.
02:03:40.000 Because even just to jumpstart the room, the horrible things you can say.
02:03:44.000 But do you worry about doing that now, though?
02:03:46.000 Would you worry?
02:03:47.000 I don't worry about it, but I am much more conscious of, like, if we're sitting at the table at the Comedy Cellar, I'm much more conscious of sitting around the table.
02:03:54.000 And just not saying something completely outrageous for just the jolt of it.
02:03:58.000 Which a lot of people used to do.
02:04:00.000 Well, yeah, I'm one of those people.
02:04:02.000 If I'm hanging out with Rich Voss and Keith Robinson and those dudes, yeah, fucking unleash the hounds.
02:04:06.000 But if there's newer people I don't know, I'm just going out.
02:04:10.000 Especially younger comics, there's that millennial component where they don't get that part of this is...
02:04:18.000 Saying absurd things and pushing it a little bit on stage.
02:04:21.000 You've got a lot of groans, I'm sure.
02:04:23.000 You've got that groany thing that happens to people if they think you're going down the wrong path.
02:04:28.000 That's not a reaction.
02:04:31.000 Trying to keep you in check.
02:04:32.000 Don't go against my values.
02:04:34.000 I can't believe you said that out loud.
02:04:37.000 My professor would not allow that thought.
02:04:39.000 Bring it back to where I want it.
02:04:41.000 That's why I thought Chappelle's two specials and the last two were so good.
02:04:44.000 Yeah.
02:04:44.000 And he makes that point.
02:04:45.000 He's like, our job.
02:04:46.000 It's our job.
02:04:47.000 If you see a comic not doing that, he's not doing his job.
02:04:50.000 Yeah, the job is to push the line.
02:04:51.000 Mm-hmm.
02:04:52.000 I agree, but look, there are days where you're like, it's exhausting.
02:04:56.000 Oh, of course.
02:04:56.000 If you're not funny, you're wasting everybody's time.
02:04:59.000 You have to be funny first.
02:05:01.000 That's the goal.
02:05:01.000 The goal isn't to go up there and make some remarkable point and go, goodnight, everybody.
02:05:07.000 Think about that!
02:05:10.000 That used to be a thing, right?
02:05:11.000 And that's one to grow on.
02:05:13.000 No, I think you've got to be funny, but in being funny, if you can't You know, nudge people a little bit.
02:05:20.000 It gets boring.
02:05:21.000 Well, especially each other.
02:05:21.000 That's what people don't understand.
02:05:22.000 If they really listen to the way we talk to each other, like, one of the things that people love is some of the podcasts that I do with Ari, rather, and Tom and Bert, because they're so mean to each other.
02:05:33.000 Yeah.
02:05:34.000 Like, Ari calls Bert, what did he call him, an idiot fuck?
02:05:37.000 He goes, it doesn't work that way, you idiot fuck!
02:05:40.000 And it's just like...
02:05:42.000 And for a regular person in a regular meeting in some fucking insurance office, that would be the end of the conversation.
02:05:50.000 Human resources get called.
02:05:52.000 Someone will get a settlement.
02:05:53.000 Completely.
02:05:54.000 I mean, I found that the difference between the daily show writer's room and the nightly show writer's room was we went out of our way and we made it the most diverse writing room you could have ever been in.
02:06:06.000 But that also caused problems.
02:06:08.000 Because now all of a sudden you've got a right-wing dude and a sensitive Brooklyn person.
02:06:12.000 And so half the time I was like, okay, everyone stop.
02:06:16.000 You're right.
02:06:17.000 Brown is an Ivy League school.
02:06:19.000 And I see what you're saying about the fraternities there.
02:06:21.000 It was that kind of stuff.
02:06:24.000 Political discussions?
02:06:25.000 People would get heated about something they were passionate about.
02:06:28.000 And I'd have to blow the whistle and go, everyone stop.
02:06:30.000 We're fucking around.
02:06:31.000 And people would get upset.
02:06:32.000 People would...
02:06:33.000 You know the kind of shit like...
02:06:35.000 Isn't that interesting?
02:06:36.000 Somebody would pitch...
02:06:36.000 Something one day happened where somebody pitched a joke, and another person's phone had as their ringer, or their alert for a text, a cricket noise.
02:06:48.000 So somebody pitched something in the meeting, and it was a shitty...
02:06:51.000 It was just a shitty pitch, which we all have done in a writer's room, and all of a sudden it was like...
02:06:55.000 And I went, man, that was so bad.
02:06:57.000 The fucking crickets came in, and...
02:07:00.000 Everyone left, but then later on, I found out that the writer was upset, and the guy who had crickets on his phone, they had a fucking thing about, why if I'm gonna have crickets, you fucked me up, and I was going, oh shit, no, no, no, no, no, you're a great writer, and I was just, it was just a cricket joke, like, you know, but it's, I don't know, so that,
02:07:16.000 with The Daily Show, was not that way.
02:07:17.000 The Daily Show, like, when I first started working there, and I was like a production assistant, and I'd go into a writer's room, I'd come out, like, wanting to cry.
02:07:23.000 That's how mean those guys were to me.
02:07:25.000 I'd be like, I'd have a tape to show them.
02:07:27.000 I'm like, I got some footage to show you guys.
02:07:29.000 They'd be like, suck a dick!
02:07:30.000 They would just rip.
02:07:32.000 It was like doing a roast every day.
02:07:34.000 They were like, that shirt's stupid.
02:07:35.000 That thing is dumb.
02:07:36.000 And I'd be like, okay, you guys are all...
02:07:37.000 They just made fun of things constantly.
02:07:39.000 Constantly.
02:07:39.000 And that's why the show was so good.
02:07:41.000 Yeah, when I became that guy, I was like, yeah, I'm like, eat shit, dude.
02:07:44.000 I ate it.
02:07:45.000 Have some.
02:07:46.000 Because you got hazed, and then you got to the next level, and you hazed the next guy.
02:07:50.000 But in a writer's room, is that a necessary way to think?
02:07:54.000 Yeah.
02:07:54.000 To fuck with each other?
02:07:55.000 I think it's necessary.
02:07:56.000 In that kind of a show, it's not...
02:07:57.000 I think it's necessary because you're watching a lot of somber shit.
02:08:02.000 You're watching news, you're watching C-Span, you're watching speeches.
02:08:04.000 And you're trying to make funny out of it.
02:08:06.000 Yeah, so you gotta, like, come in there silly.
02:08:08.000 So sometimes it's just getting that energy in the room.
02:08:10.000 You know, it's like a warm-up.
02:08:11.000 And sometimes it's like doing warm-up, like having a warm-up comic.
02:08:14.000 You know, it's like, you gotta get the energy up.
02:08:17.000 You can't watch it and go, oh my god, this is terrible.
02:08:20.000 This is about war.
02:08:21.000 You gotta watch it and be like, hey, nice shirt.
02:08:23.000 I always wanted to do a show called, I always wanted to do a spoof called Warm Up Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee, you know?
02:08:30.000 And it's like, just driving around the city, be like, hey, look at this asshole, nice tie, you know?
02:08:35.000 And like, dudes in traffic lights are like, hey, why don't you stop sooner, old man, you know?
02:08:40.000 But it's that kind of thing, where sometimes you're just fucking, it's just getting the energy going.
02:08:44.000 Just trying to get the comedy ball rolling.
02:08:47.000 Yeah, but those guys were mean, they were.
02:08:48.000 They were all out, and they were like old grizzle stand-ups, and they were mean.
02:08:51.000 It's different, I was going to say, it's different than our sitcom writers' room, too.
02:08:54.000 Because sitcom writers' room, they have to think about character development, where the plot's going.
02:08:58.000 You guys are reacting to the plot.
02:09:00.000 There's no Bible or anything.
02:09:02.000 So it's almost like you have to be more aggressive in that position.
02:09:06.000 It's almost like everything is a reaction to an affront.
02:09:11.000 I get to a front to your sensibilities, to your information.
02:09:15.000 And trying to look at it, like, not as a human.
02:09:17.000 You know, like, you can't look at it as, like, a reasonable-minded person.
02:09:20.000 You have to look at it, like, what's the obscure take on this?
02:09:22.000 What's the way to make this funny?
02:09:23.000 You know, so you can't come in and go, you know, like, you can't watch the State of the Union and go, wow, that is a good point.
02:09:28.000 That is dangerous.
02:09:29.000 You have to watch the State of the Union and go, wait, did he just say, what did George Bush say one year?
02:09:33.000 Human-animal hybrids?
02:09:35.000 You know, like, things like that.
02:09:36.000 Where he's like, we gotta watch out for human-animal hybrids.
02:09:39.000 And we're like, well, let's have some fun with that phrase.
02:09:41.000 Did Bush say that?
02:09:41.000 Yeah, he said it.
02:09:42.000 Was that recent?
02:09:42.000 No, that was State of the Union, probably like, 03 or something.
02:09:46.000 You know, like, ones that I just remember, like, we gotta have 50 tons of mustard gas on a farm, whatever.
02:09:53.000 Like, little these little weird phrases as he was trying to sell the war to people, you know.
02:09:56.000 And then we would grab them and make little montages out of them or create the scenario of what he's talking about.
02:10:02.000 That's a fucking human hybrids thing.
02:10:04.000 Where's he getting that?
02:10:04.000 Wasn't there something that they were talking about doing some research really recently?
02:10:08.000 They were gonna make a human-pig hybrid?
02:10:11.000 Yes.
02:10:12.000 Because they're gonna harvest the organs.
02:10:14.000 Yeah, they're gonna grow organs.
02:10:15.000 That's crazy.
02:10:16.000 What if they give you a better one?
02:10:17.000 Like, what if they give you a heart and it's like 50% better?
02:10:20.000 Yeah, they're like, hey, you want a bigger dick?
02:10:21.000 We just grew one on a pig, you know?
02:10:24.000 You want a pig dick?
02:10:25.000 What if they give you a pig heart, but then you start thinking like a pig?
02:10:27.000 Yeah, that could happen.
02:10:28.000 You realize some of the thinking takes place in the heart.
02:10:31.000 But I think what they actually do is grow a human heart in a pig, is the idea.
02:10:36.000 I think they grow human organs in a pig, so it's not a pig's heart.
02:10:39.000 But maybe the pig memories get into your human organ.
02:10:41.000 Yeah, that would make sense.
02:10:43.000 You get some pig memories.
02:10:46.000 Hold on, go up to the top so we can read the thing.
02:10:50.000 Human-pig hybrids created in the lab, here are the facts.
02:10:55.000 Whenever you hear that, they've already been making people out of pigs, right?
02:10:59.000 By the time you hear that, by the time it gets to us, I mean, how far down the ladder are we on the information food chain, you know?
02:11:07.000 Yeah.
02:11:08.000 I mean, the people- Look at those pig lungs.
02:11:09.000 Ooh, their pig's lungs are breathing.
02:11:11.000 What in the fuck?
02:11:12.000 Yeah, this is nuts.
02:11:13.000 Watch pig lungs filter human blood in a lab.
02:11:17.000 Holy shit, man.
02:11:20.000 I have a Google alert set for that.
02:11:21.000 Watch pig lungs filter human blood in the lab.
02:11:23.000 You'll get overwhelmed.
02:11:25.000 It's every day.
02:11:26.000 You just don't stop with the pig blood.
02:11:28.000 Pigs grew a human ear on a rat, didn't they?
02:11:31.000 They grew a human ear on the back of a mouse.
02:11:33.000 Yeah.
02:11:34.000 I don't know what that was about, though.
02:11:36.000 I mean, that was about a place of concept thing.
02:11:38.000 I don't think they were taking the ear off the rat.
02:11:40.000 I think they were, like, trying to show that they could do that, and now they do it to people.
02:11:44.000 Like, they'll grow you a ear in your forehead.
02:11:47.000 Yeah.
02:11:47.000 And then you keep that for a couple of years.
02:11:49.000 Yeah.
02:11:50.000 And then they cut it off and then put it on your ear.
02:11:52.000 I'm not joking.
02:11:53.000 But you don't want it on your forehead.
02:11:54.000 That's where it would grow best.
02:11:55.000 You put it on your back?
02:11:56.000 Yeah, this guy, he had a nose growing on his forehead.
02:11:58.000 Stop.
02:11:58.000 Yes, he did.
02:11:59.000 It looks like Photoshop.
02:12:00.000 That's Photoshop.
02:12:01.000 No, it's not Photoshop.
02:12:02.000 He had an accident where his nose was severely damaged.
02:12:07.000 So they grew another nose on his forehead and then removed it from his forehead.
02:12:14.000 See?
02:12:14.000 That's real.
02:12:15.000 It looks photoshopped.
02:12:15.000 That's insane.
02:12:16.000 How dare you distrust me.
02:12:18.000 I believe you.
02:12:19.000 I'm just trying to tell you the truth.
02:12:20.000 It looks photoshopped.
02:12:21.000 So this dude had a fucked up nose.
02:12:22.000 They grew him this nose on his forehead.
02:12:25.000 Oh, it's our friend Philly DeFranco.
02:12:27.000 So see if he's got any actual footage of Homeboy's nose.
02:12:33.000 That's it?
02:12:34.000 Yeah.
02:12:35.000 That's what I was hoping for.
02:12:37.000 I'm pretty sure that's a real story.
02:12:40.000 What is that?
02:12:41.000 Guy's growing a hand out of his foot.
02:12:43.000 Sometimes they'll do that if your hand got severely damaged.
02:12:48.000 Hand kept alive on a leg.
02:12:51.000 Okay.
02:12:52.000 That's so fucking weird.
02:12:53.000 I'm good.
02:12:54.000 What does that guy got?
02:12:55.000 He's got his ear growing out of his arm to replace his other ear?
02:12:59.000 Alright, bro.
02:13:02.000 They're going to be able to grow that shit in a lab soon.
02:13:05.000 It's going to be an interesting fucking time.
02:13:07.000 And I like your idea that we think that we're missing, like, what comes next.
02:13:12.000 That we're going to miss it.
02:13:13.000 Yeah.
02:13:14.000 Because it seems like things are happening at such a crazy rate that if you did check out now, you might just miss immortality.
02:13:19.000 Yeah.
02:13:20.000 You know?
02:13:20.000 Yeah, you might.
02:13:21.000 Or you might miss downloading your brain.
02:13:23.000 Yeah.
02:13:23.000 They're working on that.
02:13:24.000 Look at this.
02:13:24.000 Downloading your conscience.
02:13:25.000 What the fuck is that?
02:13:27.000 Screw a horn.
02:13:28.000 Horn blew out of her head.
02:13:30.000 What?
02:13:30.000 A shit horn.
02:13:31.000 It looks like she just took a dump out of her head.
02:13:33.000 She's got a shithorn.
02:13:34.000 Could you imagine if this poor lady lived in, like, fucking 1800s?
02:13:37.000 They had to shoot her right in the head with a monster.
02:13:39.000 This demon woman.
02:13:41.000 You know?
02:13:41.000 But also, how do you let your shithorn get that big?
02:13:43.000 Like, the second it's out of your head, you go into the doctor.
02:13:46.000 Anybody ever grabbed it and rode that face?
02:13:52.000 Do you think anybody ever got busy holding on to that thing?
02:13:55.000 That'd be a hell of a handle.
02:13:57.000 Do you think it's hard like a rhino?
02:13:58.000 Or do you think it's like hair?
02:14:00.000 Like one giant fucked up clump of hair that just plowed through the hair pore.
02:14:05.000 What is it?
02:14:05.000 Like a tatnus horn.
02:14:06.000 That's fucking nuts.
02:14:07.000 Yeah, that guy's- he's in a Stephen King movie.
02:14:10.000 Look at that.
02:14:10.000 Guy's got a horn.
02:14:12.000 Okay, no one would ever let that person live in another world.
02:14:15.000 Look at that, it's crazy.
02:14:16.000 Some people just grow horns?
02:14:18.000 How many people?
02:14:19.000 What in the fuck, man?
02:14:20.000 How do I not know about this?
02:14:21.000 How many people grow horns?
02:14:23.000 Dude, that's crazy.
02:14:25.000 This lady has a giant one poking out of her head like a...
02:14:27.000 Is it me or is it a lot of Asians with horns?
02:14:29.000 Hey, don't be racist.
02:14:30.000 I've already told him before and after the podcast, yet he continues to talk about the differences in racism.
02:14:36.000 I'm observing.
02:14:37.000 In a very, very demeaning way.
02:14:38.000 I'm not lying.
02:14:39.000 You'd think it'd be more Jews, you know?
02:14:41.000 They're supposed to be the race with the horns.
02:14:43.000 Oh my god, I can't believe you.
02:14:44.000 What's that guy's ear?
02:14:45.000 That guy's got a universe living in his ear.
02:14:48.000 Wow.
02:14:48.000 Whoa, they have horns coming out of their face.
02:14:50.000 Holy shit.
02:14:52.000 Whoa, some people have horns coming out of their fucking cheeks.
02:14:55.000 This is nuts.
02:14:56.000 Cheek horns are crazy.
02:14:57.000 Who gets them?
02:14:57.000 Make that bigger so my stupid eyes can read it.
02:15:00.000 What does that say?
02:15:01.000 Between 60 and 70. Cutaneous.
02:15:04.000 Is that how you say it?
02:15:05.000 Cutaneous horns.
02:15:06.000 Cutaneous horns are more common in older patients.
02:15:08.000 With the peak incidence, those between 60 and 70. They're usually common in males and females, though there's a higher risk of the lesion being malignant in men.
02:15:17.000 They're more common in people with fairer skins.
02:15:20.000 Huh.
02:15:20.000 That's the Asian thing, I guess, huh?
02:15:23.000 Would you consider that?
02:15:24.000 But some Asians don't have fairer skin, like the South Pacific Asians.
02:15:27.000 It's not.
02:15:27.000 It's just that website had more Asians.
02:15:31.000 Wow, man.
02:15:31.000 How weird.
02:15:32.000 People get fucking horns.
02:15:33.000 Yeah.
02:15:34.000 I just think it's weird that you don't deal with it right away.
02:15:38.000 Imagine trying to explain to someone a thousand years ago, if you had a horn, that you didn't do anything.
02:15:44.000 Like, I swear to God, I didn't make a deal with the devil.
02:15:48.000 You carry the mark.
02:15:50.000 You definitely get drowned.
02:15:51.000 The mark of the beast.
02:15:52.000 It grows from his head.
02:15:53.000 We must smite him.
02:15:54.000 We cannot have him sleep when my children sleep.
02:15:57.000 That would probably happen in like 1960, too.
02:16:00.000 I heard he does not sleep.
02:16:01.000 I heard him on my rooftop last night.
02:16:04.000 On his haunches, breathing heavy.
02:16:06.000 Can I run to the- Yeah, yeah, use the little boys room.
02:16:09.000 My nitro came right through me.
02:16:11.000 Rory.
02:16:12.000 Can't handle his nitro.
02:16:14.000 That is a fucked up thing, man, that some people get horns and some people just look like...
02:16:18.000 Like, uh...
02:16:21.000 Kate Moss.
02:16:22.000 Eye horn.
02:16:23.000 She's got an eye horn.
02:16:24.000 Oh.
02:16:26.000 Kate Upton is what I was looking for.
02:16:28.000 Kate Moss came out.
02:16:29.000 Whoa, look at that lady's face.
02:16:30.000 Okay, don't do this to me, Jamie.
02:16:32.000 We don't need to do this.
02:16:33.000 Staring at people's horns.
02:16:34.000 Just if you ever think that you're unlucky, ladies and gentlemen, just Google horns.
02:16:38.000 This guy's got a horn coming out of his nose.
02:16:40.000 That's gross.
02:16:41.000 Yeah, that's not good.
02:16:42.000 Off the lip.
02:16:43.000 Guy's got a horn coming off his lip.
02:16:45.000 Holy shit.
02:16:47.000 If that's herpes, then we have a real problem.
02:16:52.000 Houston.
02:16:53.000 Houston, we got a real problem.
02:16:55.000 This is disturbing.
02:16:57.000 Cut it out.
02:16:58.000 Yeah, how long do you think they'd grow for?
02:16:59.000 Or it takes to get that long?
02:17:00.000 I don't know.
02:17:01.000 It's a good question.
02:17:02.000 Like, do you let that go?
02:17:03.000 Do you let it go?
02:17:04.000 Like, when do you go to the doctor?
02:17:07.000 You got a fucking horn.
02:17:08.000 But a lot of those people, like that one guy that had a horn growing out of the back of his head, that guy looked like he was in a very, very rural area with dirt ground.
02:17:16.000 Well, not a cat.
02:17:19.000 Hmm.
02:17:19.000 This cat has a horn.
02:17:21.000 That's a dog, bro.
02:17:22.000 It's his cat.
02:17:27.000 Is that a cat?
02:17:27.000 I guess it's nose.
02:17:28.000 I thought his nose was that black spot.
02:17:31.000 Wow, what is that?
02:17:32.000 Oh, that's that dude that had that fungus...
02:17:34.000 The tree thing.
02:17:35.000 Yeah, he had that horrible fungal infection, like warts that covered his whole body and made him look like a tree.
02:17:42.000 Wow.
02:17:43.000 Dude.
02:17:45.000 I mean, what in the fuck is that?
02:17:47.000 That's like a life form that's consuming another life form.
02:17:51.000 Like the barnacles on a pole that's stuck in the ocean.
02:17:54.000 I mean, it almost is like that.
02:17:56.000 Like these...
02:17:58.000 Things are growing on his skin.
02:18:00.000 What is that?
02:18:03.000 Fungus and spore.
02:18:04.000 It's a wart, right?
02:18:05.000 A wart's a disease.
02:18:06.000 Yeah.
02:18:07.000 So if it's a disease, that disease is actually growing on his skin.
02:18:10.000 That's what all that is.
02:18:11.000 Yes, it's a wart.
02:18:12.000 Oh, God.
02:18:15.000 Motherfucker.
02:18:16.000 Nature can be ruthless.
02:18:17.000 Imagine being that dude.
02:18:19.000 And you're like, why me?
02:18:21.000 Like, what kind of shit luck is this?
02:18:23.000 We're looking at this guy who's got, there's a few people that have it apparently.
02:18:28.000 They have this tree disease where it looks like they grow, it's like a wart, a wart disease that gets completely out of control.
02:18:38.000 The guy died?
02:18:39.000 Described it as the cutaneous horned skin.
02:18:41.000 Oh, wow.
02:18:42.000 So it's the same thing?
02:18:43.000 Yeah.
02:18:44.000 It's just all over his skin.
02:18:45.000 You know what that actually looks like?
02:18:46.000 Look at that.
02:18:46.000 That's not real.
02:18:47.000 No, that's the guy from...
02:18:49.000 Look at that, but that's real.
02:18:52.000 His skin has become like a beast.
02:18:55.000 It's like...
02:18:56.000 You watch Game of Thrones?
02:18:57.000 Yes.
02:18:58.000 That stone skin disease?
02:19:00.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:19:01.000 Yeah, that's what it looks like.
02:19:01.000 It does look exactly like that.
02:19:03.000 That's weird.
02:19:03.000 Fuck, it's weird.
02:19:05.000 Yeah.
02:19:05.000 Maybe that's what Medusa...
02:19:07.000 Myth came from people growing and getting that, you know?
02:19:10.000 Right.
02:19:10.000 Oh, like Snakehead?
02:19:11.000 Right.
02:19:12.000 Maybe it just got distorted over the years to be like you froze like a stone, but instead you were just covered like a rock.
02:19:20.000 Yeah, I mean, a disease like that, if you got that shit a thousand years ago, people would absolutely be convinced you were cursed.
02:19:26.000 Yeah.
02:19:26.000 Like, something did that to you.
02:19:27.000 A demon possessed you.
02:19:29.000 Well, think about, like, the logic to early medicine, you know?
02:19:32.000 Yeah.
02:19:32.000 It's like, your head hurts.
02:19:34.000 We should let some air out of it.
02:19:36.000 Like, it was all that kind of shit.
02:19:37.000 They drill holes in your head.
02:19:38.000 Yeah.
02:19:39.000 How about someone had a seizure, they thought you were possessed?
02:19:42.000 Yeah.
02:19:43.000 Like, if you had a seizure...
02:19:45.000 Like, the devil's inside her!
02:19:47.000 Hold her down!
02:19:48.000 The old Steve Martin sketch on SNL. I'm the barber!
02:19:52.000 Remember that?
02:19:52.000 He was like a medieval barber, which is like their medicine man.
02:19:56.000 You know, he's like, trust me, huh?
02:19:57.000 Who's the barber here?
02:19:58.000 We're just going to drain your face, you know, if like it's built...
02:20:02.000 All of his remedies were just death.
02:20:04.000 I watched The Exorcist again the other night.
02:20:06.000 Whoa.
02:20:06.000 Did it go through the head?
02:20:07.000 That's what a lobotomy was.
02:20:08.000 They go through the eyeball?
02:20:09.000 Right through your eye.
02:20:10.000 Right through the eye corner.
02:20:11.000 Your eye?
02:20:11.000 I thought that was going up your...
02:20:12.000 Oh, wow.
02:20:13.000 I thought it was going up their nose.
02:20:13.000 And then they just scramble it.
02:20:14.000 Stir it around.
02:20:15.000 Imagine.
02:20:16.000 Imagine.
02:20:17.000 What a great idea.
02:20:19.000 Jesus Christ.
02:20:20.000 What a great idea.
02:20:21.000 No anesthesia.
02:20:22.000 No anesthesia.
02:20:22.000 Oh, they put you under.
02:20:23.000 Just stick a spike in my eye.
02:20:24.000 I think they put you under.
02:20:25.000 Sometimes they didn't, I think.
02:20:26.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.
02:20:27.000 Sometimes they didn't.
02:20:28.000 Sometimes they just nuked your brain while you're sitting there.
02:20:31.000 They're scrambling it around.
02:20:32.000 Just imagine that they did that to people.
02:20:34.000 What year are they doing it that way?
02:20:36.000 A lot.
02:20:37.000 Dude, they did it a lot.
02:20:38.000 It's the 1900s.
02:20:38.000 Go to that photo of that kid right above where your cursor is.
02:20:41.000 Right there.
02:20:41.000 Bam.
02:20:42.000 Whoa.
02:20:45.000 Whoa.
02:20:46.000 They lobotomized that kid.
02:20:47.000 Look at his eyes are all swollen up from the blood.
02:20:50.000 Holy shit.
02:20:51.000 They did it to a kid.
02:20:52.000 It's nuts, dude.
02:20:53.000 They did it to a kid?
02:20:53.000 It's like he just needed some Adderall.
02:20:56.000 Holy shit.
02:20:57.000 I feel like there was a place they were doing them so often that they couldn't even do as many as they needed.
02:21:03.000 There were hundreds a day.
02:21:05.000 What?
02:21:06.000 Yeah, I'll look it up real quick.
02:21:07.000 Yeah, please do.
02:21:08.000 Oh my god.
02:21:09.000 That's insane.
02:21:10.000 Can you imagine that they thought that that was a good thing to do?
02:21:13.000 It's insane.
02:21:13.000 And they thought that was a good thing to do during the time where you can take pictures.
02:21:18.000 Yeah.
02:21:18.000 Like, these are photographs.
02:21:19.000 Cameras existed.
02:21:20.000 Yeah, cameras existed.
02:21:21.000 Pretty modern era.
02:21:22.000 Holy shit.
02:21:23.000 Yeah, and that was going on, and lobotomies were going on.
02:21:25.000 Like, one of the Kennedys had a lobotomy.
02:21:28.000 What?
02:21:28.000 Yeah, there's a Kennedy sister who had a lobotomy.
02:21:31.000 For real?
02:21:31.000 Yeah, that shit was going on into, like...
02:21:33.000 The 50s and 60s.
02:21:35.000 Remember One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest?
02:21:42.000 That's like the end of the movie.
02:21:44.000 Did they lobotomize him at the end of the movie or did they electric shock him?
02:21:47.000 Well, he was kind of done.
02:21:49.000 He was like frothing out the mouth.
02:21:51.000 Yeah.
02:21:52.000 I don't know if they did it with...
02:21:53.000 I think it was electric shock though, wasn't it?
02:21:54.000 Yeah, but I don't know if it was, you know, the same outcome.
02:21:59.000 Okay.
02:22:00.000 Look at this.
02:22:01.000 During its heyday in the 1940s and 1950s, the lobotomy was performed on some 40,000 patients in the United States and around 10,000 in Western Europe.
02:22:11.000 Holy shit!
02:22:12.000 The procedure became popular because there was no alternative and because it was seen to alleviate several social crises.
02:22:21.000 Overcrowding in psychiatric institutions and the increasing cost of caring for mentally ill patients.
02:22:27.000 So they couldn't take care of them, so they just scrambled them and fed them gruel.
02:22:31.000 Yeah.
02:22:31.000 Yeah, the guy was doing 20 to 25 a day, so like one every hour.
02:22:35.000 Unlike now when we just let them wander the streets.
02:22:38.000 What the fuck, man?
02:22:40.000 What the fuck, man?
02:22:42.000 That's crazy how many people that is.
02:22:44.000 Yeah, look up the Kennedy.
02:22:45.000 I think it's one of like JFK's sisters got a lobotomy.
02:22:48.000 Dude, I was in Fresno recently.
02:22:50.000 I was doing a gig.
02:22:52.000 I was doing a gig in Fresno.
02:22:55.000 Rosemary Kennedy.
02:23:00.000 1918 Mentally impaired Um, yeah, so what I was saying is I was doing a gig in Fresno and there's this giant Population of people living on the streets out there like you go down streets It's just like a skid row type deal Wow where you're like everywhere you look to the right and the left is a homeless people like a homeless community Yeah,
02:23:20.000 very similar.
02:23:21.000 They have carts set up things laid over them.
02:23:24.000 They're living underneath them garbage everywhere.
02:23:25.000 You're like, holy shit Wow And then I found out that Louis Theroux did a documentary on it.
02:23:30.000 Is that it?
02:23:32.000 Yeah, from Fresno.
02:23:33.000 Yeah.
02:23:34.000 And then I found out that Louis Theroux did a documentary on it, and he said that Fresno is the meth capital of the world.
02:23:40.000 Wow.
02:23:41.000 Yeah.
02:23:41.000 See if you can find that.
02:23:44.000 But it was real weird, man.
02:23:46.000 It is weird.
02:23:47.000 That does not look like an American city.
02:23:49.000 It was weird.
02:23:50.000 And you realize, like, wow, these people got fucked.
02:23:53.000 They got stuck in this terrible situation, and now they've become this thing that people pity when they drive by, lingering on the side of the road.
02:24:02.000 A city addicted to crystal meth, that's what it is.
02:24:04.000 Luckily, we have Christians who will come help them.
02:24:07.000 Yes, they'll help them.
02:24:08.000 We're a country full of Christians who want to help these people.
02:24:10.000 What did it say, 2009?
02:24:12.000 Yeah.
02:24:12.000 So it was in 2009 that it aired, and it's probably gotten even worse since the last nine years.
02:24:17.000 I had no idea it was that bad.
02:24:19.000 Yeah.
02:24:20.000 That's insane.
02:24:21.000 Dude, it was weird driving around there.
02:24:23.000 Fun shows, though.
02:24:25.000 Nice people.
02:24:25.000 I was gonna ask you, how was the crowd?
02:24:27.000 Fun.
02:24:28.000 I did two shows.
02:24:29.000 Two shows there, two shows in Bakersfield.
02:24:31.000 Had a great time, man.
02:24:32.000 But the places that I don't go to normally, I'm never there.
02:24:36.000 I'm going back to Comedy Works in Denver soon.
02:24:39.000 It's a fucking awesome club.
02:24:41.000 Yeah, I got a couple fun gigs coming up.
02:24:43.000 Did you film there?
02:24:44.000 No, but I showcased there.
02:24:46.000 Right, that's when you were there the night before that I was there.
02:24:49.000 Or the night of, right?
02:24:51.000 I did a show Thursday and then I did an early show on Friday before you.
02:24:55.000 That was the one where Chappelle came out.
02:24:56.000 That was crazy.
02:24:57.000 How fun was that?
02:24:58.000 That was so fun.
02:24:59.000 We were hanging out and I got off stage and Chappelle was just in the green room.
02:25:04.000 I was like, what are you doing, man?
02:25:05.000 He goes...
02:25:06.000 He goes, oh man, just hanging around.
02:25:08.000 I go, you want to go up?
02:25:09.000 Should I? Fuck yeah.
02:25:10.000 Hold on a second.
02:25:11.000 I ran back out and pulled the people back to their seats.
02:25:15.000 Yep.
02:25:16.000 I was sitting in the crowd watching.
02:25:17.000 It was awesome.
02:25:17.000 It was amazing.
02:25:18.000 Sometimes he'll come in at a comedy salon and do like four hours.
02:25:21.000 So when he first got on stage, I was with my girlfriend.
02:25:23.000 I was like...
02:25:24.000 We're going to be here a while.
02:25:25.000 I don't think he'll do that as much.
02:25:27.000 He did like 30 minutes.
02:25:28.000 Yeah.
02:25:28.000 Just like worked on a bunch of new stuff.
02:25:30.000 It's really fun.
02:25:31.000 It's also just cool that you let him do it.
02:25:33.000 Because a lot of people wouldn't want Chappelle coming out after they just killed the show, you know?
02:25:37.000 No, I love that guy.
02:25:38.000 He's awesome.
02:25:39.000 I wanted to watch, too.
02:25:40.000 Yeah, he was amazing.
02:25:41.000 I think...
02:25:42.000 I mean, your hour is awesome, too, man.
02:25:44.000 I still like quote stuff from your hour.
02:25:45.000 About like vegan...
02:25:46.000 That's my...
02:25:47.000 Vegan cats and all that.
02:25:49.000 Oh, that.
02:25:49.000 Those are older stuff.
02:25:49.000 Yeah.
02:25:50.000 But you had some murderous stuff in an hour.
02:25:53.000 Thanks, man.
02:25:53.000 Yeah.
02:25:54.000 I can't wait to get this new one out of the way.
02:25:55.000 When are you doing it?
02:25:57.000 April.
02:25:57.000 So you said that you did one, and it was supposed to be on Showtime.
02:26:01.000 You were really happy with it?
02:26:03.000 Yeah, I thought it was going to go to Showtime, but then the deal kind of got funked up, and now I own it.
02:26:10.000 I don't know.
02:26:11.000 It's good.
02:26:11.000 I'm really proud of it.
02:26:12.000 It's like a really good hour.
02:26:13.000 I worked hard on it.
02:26:14.000 I wrote a lot of jokes, and I went on the road nonstop the year before.
02:26:18.000 Have you thought about Amazon?
02:26:20.000 Yeah, I've thought about a lot of those places.
02:26:22.000 My people are looking around.
02:26:23.000 They're looking at some options of places to send it.
02:26:25.000 It's just a slow process.
02:26:27.000 The process of getting people to watch it first.
02:26:31.000 When you send somebody something to watch, they're like, sure!
02:26:34.000 And then you've got to nag them.
02:26:36.000 So they're working on it.
02:26:37.000 There's a couple of people that may be interested.
02:26:39.000 At some point, I might just put it out.
02:26:41.000 Yeah.
02:26:42.000 Jamie, didn't you say that Amazon Prime, something like 50% of the households have Amazon Prime?
02:26:46.000 Didn't you say something like that?
02:26:48.000 Yeah.
02:26:48.000 I think when you have Amazon Prime, you get video.
02:26:51.000 You can watch videos for free.
02:26:52.000 I think we'd have to let people know some of the resources that are available, but I feel like Amazon is starting to do comedy specials now, which is great if you're not getting one from Netflix or HBO or Comedy Central.
02:27:06.000 64% of U.S. households have an Amazon Prime.
02:27:09.000 That's bananas, dude.
02:27:10.000 We just got to figure out how to get those people to watch comedy specials.
02:27:13.000 I also do feel like you got on Netflix before it was a thing.
02:27:18.000 I got on Netflix in 2005. That was when I did my very first special.
02:27:24.000 I did on Netflix, and then we sold it to Showtime.
02:27:28.000 It was the opposite.
02:27:29.000 Right.
02:27:30.000 But I'm saying, the way I think of it now is, what is that...
02:27:34.000 What is that thing now?
02:27:37.000 What's the apartment that's cheap right now but won't be in 10 years?
02:27:41.000 So that's the thing I'm trying to think of.
02:27:44.000 There's got to be different ways to do it, more interesting ways to do it than just...
02:27:49.000 Putting it on iTunes and being like, it's 10 bucks, you know, or whatever.
02:27:52.000 So I'm just thinking of it that way.
02:27:54.000 I'm trying to think of it as like, it doesn't have to be, the goal of it is just for people to see me do stand-up.
02:27:59.000 So it's like, that's the goal.
02:28:01.000 So it's really more about creative ways that I'm kind of going through in my head that are like, what about this?
02:28:06.000 What about this?
02:28:07.000 What about this?
02:28:07.000 You know, and it's social media, like, is good and bad for some stuff.
02:28:11.000 And, you know, but a lot of it's about how you get it out there.
02:28:15.000 You know, and how you release it, and if somebody catches it, and it, you know, becomes a thing, you know, and all that, so it's, it's hard to, like, sort of, it's hard to sort of game the system, but you're, like, thinking that way, you know, like, what's the new...
02:28:26.000 Well, I think if you put it on YouTube, that's probably, if you wanted to get it to access to the most people, if that's all was your concern, that would be the most people.
02:28:33.000 Yeah.
02:28:34.000 Because if we tweeted it, and we talked about it on the podcast, and people enjoyed it, and they found out it was free, and most people, especially if you have Apple TV, you have YouTube built in.
02:28:44.000 Right, and then you're just watching it.
02:28:45.000 Just watch it on your TV. Yeah.
02:28:47.000 I do that with a lot of shit now.
02:28:48.000 Yeah.
02:28:49.000 Smart.
02:28:50.000 I think YouTube is for sure the easiest option, because I think there's a giant percentage of people that watch YouTube videos on their phones.
02:28:57.000 I bet it's probably more than half.
02:28:59.000 Yep.
02:29:00.000 Is it, Jamie?
02:29:01.000 I think most people just watch it on their phones at this point.
02:29:04.000 A lot of people, for sure.
02:29:05.000 It's certainly a giant chunk.
02:29:07.000 Whether it's 50% or more, you're dealing with a giant chunk of people that just would have access to your comedy on their phone.
02:29:15.000 Yep.
02:29:16.000 Almost any time.
02:29:17.000 And then it's a matter of like, do you break it up into like four-minute sections so people can like share it or do you just put the whole hour out?
02:29:24.000 You know, there's like so many different ways to like...
02:29:25.000 I think you should do both.
02:29:26.000 I think you should have like the full version and put that out on your website or on your YouTube page and then put chunks.
02:29:33.000 So if people just want to watch the chunks, they can watch the chunks.
02:29:36.000 Maybe they'll watch a chunk or two and then they'll go, I got to see this whole thing.
02:29:39.000 And they watch the whole thing in its entirety and they see where the chunks fit in.
02:29:42.000 Yeah.
02:29:43.000 That's a good way to do it.
02:29:44.000 Yeah, because just let people know.
02:29:46.000 People want to see good comedy.
02:29:48.000 Let people know.
02:29:48.000 And we can only crank out so much shit.
02:29:52.000 So there's a lot of people out there like, hey, yo, dude, I'm looking, fucking laugh.
02:29:55.000 What do you got?
02:29:56.000 What do you got?
02:29:57.000 I watched all this shit!
02:29:58.000 And I feel about it, too, is like, you know better than anybody.
02:30:02.000 Whenever you do anything, like you film something, whether you're in it behind the camera or put your name on something, You want it to be good.
02:30:09.000 And I'm always honest with myself.
02:30:10.000 I'm like, that could have been better.
02:30:12.000 But this, I was like, I'm proud of it.
02:30:14.000 I like it.
02:30:15.000 I feel really good about it.
02:30:16.000 Of course, that's the one you can't get out.
02:30:18.000 Right.
02:30:18.000 Joke being, it's the first time I'm like, boy, this is really something I stand behind.
02:30:22.000 It's like, go fuck yourself.
02:30:23.000 Are you in a financial position that you have to sell it?
02:30:26.000 Or can you just put it on YouTube?
02:30:27.000 No, I can put it.
02:30:28.000 I mean, I bought it back.
02:30:31.000 And, you know, I can put it on YouTube and not sell it.
02:30:33.000 The goal is for people to see it.
02:30:35.000 And I... It's not like it cost me $14 million to shoot.
02:30:41.000 You can get YouTube ad money, too.
02:30:43.000 You can get some ad money if it's successful.
02:30:45.000 If people start watching it.
02:30:46.000 YouTube is actually clamped down on that now.
02:30:49.000 Have they?
02:30:49.000 Yeah, they're making it.
02:30:50.000 There's a lot of social media stuff that's sort of falling.
02:30:54.000 The sort of Wild West model.
02:30:57.000 Are you meaning that YouTube is clamped down on what the advertisers are?
02:31:00.000 Yeah, you have to have a certain amount of...
02:31:02.000 I was just reading about this.
02:31:03.000 You have to have a certain amount of...
02:31:08.000 This is a world we talk in and deal in all the time, so Jamie can explain to you the whole thing.
02:31:14.000 I was reading that only 1% now of people are on YouTube, the top 1%.
02:31:21.000 It's not that hard to get plastered threshold right now.
02:31:23.000 It's just like 1,000 hours of views, which if you have 1,000 views, you'd get there within a month.
02:31:30.000 That's good to know.
02:31:31.000 Or a couple weeks.
02:31:31.000 Yeah, I kind of knew where you were going with this.
02:31:33.000 Yeah.
02:31:34.000 Who's going to head it off at the pass?
02:31:35.000 What I'm saying, but making money on it, they're saying.
02:31:38.000 It's much more difficult after that PewDiePie guy.
02:31:41.000 That PewDiePie guy said a bunch of racist shit, and it turned out he had a bunch of Nazi jokes, then he called someone the N-word, and then boom, next thing you know, everybody's revenue dropped off substantially.
02:31:52.000 It's crazy.
02:31:52.000 It's very tight on how revenue gets distributed, and what's safe for advertising, and even stuff that doesn't even make a whole lot of sense.
02:32:00.000 Like, things get demonetized, we get our podcast demonetized, it doesn't make any sense.
02:32:04.000 It's like, okay, that one, what was even said that was offensive?
02:32:08.000 Like, what is it that decides...
02:32:09.000 Wait, your podcast?
02:32:10.000 All the time.
02:32:11.000 All the time.
02:32:11.000 Different episodes get demonetized.
02:32:13.000 That's crazy!
02:32:13.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:32:14.000 And we'll talk about controversial things.
02:32:16.000 We talk about controversial things, it almost always gets demonetized.
02:32:19.000 That's weird.
02:32:20.000 You criticize YouTube, it gets demonetized.
02:32:22.000 Well, you know, they're strict about...
02:32:24.000 It does.
02:32:25.000 Like, it's amazing how quickly, too.
02:32:26.000 Like, I'll put my...
02:32:27.000 I think I was telling you this before.
02:32:28.000 I put my best of nightly show reel from my on-camera stuff from the nightly show on YouTube.
02:32:33.000 Yeah.
02:32:34.000 And...
02:32:34.000 Because it's Comedy Central content.
02:32:35.000 It instantly gets flagged within, like...
02:32:38.000 Seven minutes, I get an email.
02:32:39.000 It's like, this can't be accepted.
02:32:40.000 So then I was like, oh, maybe it's because I labeled it, like, best of, and I put Comedy Central as a search word.
02:32:45.000 So I just took out all the search words, and I was just like, best of Rory Albanese.
02:32:48.000 I didn't say anything about what, put it online.
02:32:53.000 Ten minutes, get an email.
02:32:54.000 This video has been flagged as Viacom content.
02:32:57.000 It gets taken down.
02:32:58.000 Like, it's pretty remarkable how quickly that can happen.
02:33:01.000 Yeah, we do it all the time.
02:33:02.000 That's why we said we couldn't play that video earlier.
02:33:04.000 It happens every day.
02:33:05.000 Things get flagged.
02:33:06.000 Yeah.
02:33:07.000 They have algorithms.
02:33:08.000 I mean, they can just capture music and clips and stuff like that.
02:33:11.000 They can capture music from a clip from a scene in a movie that they'll find.
02:33:17.000 Like, if you're playing a scene in a movie and, like, say, Goodfellas and some...
02:33:20.000 Didn't we do that recently?
02:33:21.000 Yeah, and what was the song?
02:33:23.000 Was it Rolling Stones?
02:33:24.000 Layla?
02:33:24.000 Come Together by The Beatles.
02:33:26.000 Oh, Come Together.
02:33:26.000 And they were like, fuck you, pay me.
02:33:28.000 They went straight Ray Lee on us.
02:33:31.000 It may have been...
02:33:32.000 That's funny.
02:33:32.000 It may have been...
02:33:33.000 If it was Come Together, it may have been A Bronx Tale.
02:33:37.000 That's what it was, yeah.
02:33:37.000 Oh, was it A Bronx Tale?
02:33:38.000 Yeah, that was the fight scene.
02:33:39.000 That's the scene where it's like, now you can't leave.
02:33:41.000 That's right, A Bronx Tale!
02:33:43.000 That's exactly what it was.
02:33:44.000 That's right.
02:33:44.000 Because Goodfellas has a great soundtrack, but it does not have Come Together in it.
02:33:48.000 Man.
02:33:49.000 But...
02:33:50.000 Right now.
02:33:51.000 Yeah, that's such a great scene.
02:33:53.000 He's like, I'm going to ask you gentlemen to leave, you know?
02:33:55.000 Dude, have you seen that Beatles Cirque du Soleil show in Vegas?
02:33:59.000 No.
02:33:59.000 Ever seen that?
02:34:00.000 Nope.
02:34:00.000 It's called Love?
02:34:01.000 I've not seen it.
02:34:02.000 Fucking amazing.
02:34:04.000 Yeah.
02:34:04.000 It's so, you know, like, it's so interesting as comics.
02:34:07.000 Like, most of the shows that we see are comedy.
02:34:10.000 Like, I saw Book of Mormon.
02:34:12.000 That was the last time I went to a play.
02:34:14.000 Yep.
02:34:14.000 Unless it was like for, like...
02:34:15.000 Did you see Hamilton?
02:34:16.000 One of my kids.
02:34:17.000 Look at me.
02:34:18.000 What do you think?
02:34:19.000 I thought you would have seen Hamilton.
02:34:20.000 You're a cultured man.
02:34:22.000 You're interested in all things.
02:34:24.000 I got shit to do, man.
02:34:25.000 Whatever that hour is, I got shit to do.
02:34:27.000 I literally know nothing about Hamilton.
02:34:30.000 I'm just joking.
02:34:31.000 It's funny because I went into it like, what's the craze about?
02:34:34.000 I'm like, this is going to be so overrated.
02:34:36.000 And then I watched, I was like, that was good.
02:34:39.000 I love that those art forms exist.
02:34:41.000 I don't love Broadway plays.
02:34:42.000 I'm not that big.
02:34:43.000 But I thought Book of Mormon, I actually saw it twice.
02:34:45.000 I loved that.
02:34:46.000 And I thought it was...
02:34:48.000 You know, as funny as something can be.
02:34:50.000 Yeah, it was genius.
02:34:51.000 Those dudes, by the way, Matt and Trey.
02:34:54.000 They're on another planet.
02:34:55.000 They're from somewhere else.
02:34:56.000 You know what movie I watched that we're talking about, like, movies that people don't talk about enough?
02:35:00.000 That's so fucking perfect.
02:35:02.000 Team America.
02:35:03.000 Oh my god.
02:35:04.000 That movie is, like, flawless.
02:35:06.000 It's one of the best movies ever.
02:35:07.000 For comedy?
02:35:07.000 Yeah.
02:35:08.000 You can't even believe what they accomplished in that movie.
02:35:12.000 Have you ever seen the full uncut scenes where they had sex and dropped logs on each other and pissed on each other?
02:35:17.000 Yes, yes, yes, yes.
02:35:18.000 And the way they start the movie, I saw them in an interview and they told a story about the opening scene of the movie is a really shitty marionette and then it widens out and it's a marionette in France using a marionette.
02:35:34.000 That's the opening sequence.
02:35:35.000 So they said when they fucking screened it for the studio, that's why they did that.
02:35:40.000 It was like really shitty looking and you heard all the executives like, what the fuck did we spend all this money on, you know?
02:35:45.000 And it just reveals how there's the sexy...
02:35:47.000 Here's the full unedited sex version.
02:35:49.000 They did this like way over the top so they could pull stuff back.
02:35:53.000 Yeah, it's really funny.
02:35:55.000 Yeah, they just decided to do it this way.
02:35:58.000 So they would have stuff to edit out.
02:36:01.000 Yeah, and for the DVD extras, look at that, dude.
02:36:04.000 This is fucking crazy.
02:36:05.000 Oh my god.
02:36:06.000 And I think, apparently, they...
02:36:09.000 It's just puppets.
02:36:11.000 Oh my god.
02:36:13.000 They're doing everything.
02:36:14.000 It's so funny.
02:36:15.000 Eating ass.
02:36:16.000 Yeah.
02:36:17.000 And they did this so that they could have, like, well, you gotta give us some of it.
02:36:21.000 You know?
02:36:21.000 They went over.
02:36:22.000 You gotta give us a little.
02:36:23.000 They went so far over the line...
02:36:26.000 It's just every position.
02:36:27.000 Yeah, everything.
02:36:28.000 Look at this.
02:36:30.000 They went so far, so fucking crazy.
02:36:33.000 Like he's peeing on her.
02:36:36.000 All over her face, her open eyes.
02:36:38.000 And then she drops a log on.
02:36:41.000 Oh my god, look at this.
02:36:46.000 And then they just keep going.
02:36:47.000 Oh my God, it's so stupid.
02:36:49.000 Oh my God, it's so funny.
02:36:51.000 I mean, it just goes on forever.
02:36:53.000 Yeah.
02:36:53.000 But they did that so that they would have room for negotiation.
02:36:56.000 That's how they worked.
02:36:57.000 Yeah, those guys are just geniuses, man.
02:37:00.000 And that movie, like the whole concept of they need an actor.
02:37:04.000 Yes.
02:37:04.000 How important actors are.
02:37:06.000 And how bad is acting?
02:37:07.000 Come on, Gary, you're an actor.
02:37:09.000 With his fucking shitty makeup on.
02:37:11.000 Yeah, and it's like, durka durka, durka durka.
02:37:15.000 And it's the Star Wars cantina scene.
02:37:17.000 They're like, we're gonna transmorgify you or transmorph you.
02:37:20.000 And then, like, all that stuff happens to his face.
02:37:22.000 It's like 20 minutes of, like, they make it like its face off, and then they just glued some fucking hair to his face.
02:37:28.000 It's so funny.
02:37:29.000 Yeah, there it is.
02:37:29.000 That is hilarious.
02:37:31.000 They paint him a little brown.
02:37:32.000 Durka.
02:37:35.000 Come on, Gary.
02:37:37.000 Act your way in.
02:37:40.000 We need a Top Gun actor!
02:37:42.000 That's what he says.
02:37:42.000 He goes, you're a Top Gun actor.
02:37:44.000 It's too bad this took so long to make, because he doesn't want to make another one.
02:37:48.000 They almost broke them, dude.
02:37:49.000 Like, it just fucking...
02:37:50.000 I can only imagine.
02:37:51.000 Yeah.
02:37:52.000 How much time it must take?
02:37:53.000 This is so painstaking.
02:37:55.000 Painstaking.
02:37:55.000 I mean, are they moving each piece as it's happening, and then filming it and doing it over and over and over again?
02:38:01.000 Oh, they're doing multiple camera angles, multiple...
02:38:03.000 They shot it like a movie.
02:38:04.000 That's why it's so good.
02:38:06.000 I need to watch it again.
02:38:08.000 I'm forgetting this scene.
02:38:09.000 Then it's basically the Star Wars cantina when he walks in.
02:38:18.000 It's really funny.
02:38:19.000 But it is a movie that you can come home at 2 in the morning and just be like, oh, I want to kill an hour, smoke some weed, and just throw it on.
02:38:26.000 Any scene, it's stopped at.
02:38:28.000 Don't forget about the fucking South Park movie.
02:38:31.000 Yes, you're right.
02:38:32.000 The South Park movie where...
02:38:33.000 I don't know if that will hold up as much.
02:38:35.000 ...is getting gay with the devil.
02:38:36.000 With the devil, yeah.
02:38:37.000 Remember that?
02:38:38.000 I wonder if that will hold up.
02:38:39.000 The devil pulls his dick out and his dick...
02:38:40.000 Fuck yeah, it'll hold up.
02:38:41.000 Are you kidding me?
02:38:41.000 Yeah, I haven't watched that in a long time.
02:38:43.000 I guarantee that'll hold up.
02:38:44.000 South Park is still really funny.
02:38:45.000 It's still hilarious.
02:38:46.000 Yep.
02:38:47.000 It's really funny.
02:38:48.000 I mean, when it comes to overall content, it's one of the funniest shows, if not the funniest of all time.
02:38:54.000 Dude, they turn stuff around.
02:38:55.000 It's like Symptoms, Them...
02:38:57.000 Family Guy is the other one people love, but they fucking rip on the Family Guy in Southport.
02:39:02.000 Do you remember the one where they went into the writers room with the Family Guy and it was two manatees in a tank?
02:39:08.000 And if they drop a ball, you know, like drop a ball in a thing, and then it's just a joke comes out.
02:39:13.000 So mean.
02:39:13.000 And it's like old TV show reference, you know?
02:39:16.000 So mean.
02:39:18.000 That's hilarious.
02:39:19.000 Yeah, they just broke his formula down.
02:39:20.000 Yeah, it's funny, though.
02:39:21.000 It's fucking hilarious.
02:39:23.000 I think Seth MacFarlane is funny.
02:39:25.000 Like, I thought those TED movies were really funny.
02:39:26.000 I didn't see them.
02:39:27.000 Yeah.
02:39:28.000 I still haven't seen the TED movies.
02:39:29.000 I heard they're hilarious.
02:39:30.000 Yeah, they're not like flawless movies, but they're funny.
02:39:33.000 There's a couple of scenes in them that are so funny that the whole movie goes up like 10 points.
02:39:39.000 There's a few scenes in there.
02:39:40.000 There's a scene where Ted's telling him about the weed he bought.
02:39:46.000 I forget the exact dialogue, but he's like, yeah, it's called like...
02:39:50.000 He's like I got some weed it's called like kill me now please you know and he's like why'd you get that he's like well the only other options were please make it stop make it stop like he's naming the weeds and they're all like this like paranoia fueled weed it's really funny you know sort of like maybe the the the jizz and the hair scene and something about Mary yeah it was so funny it took the whole movie yeah and then it's like you remember that yeah Because there's other stuff that's really funny in that movie that gets lost.
02:40:14.000 Like Chris Elliott having the best wife ever is really funny, but he's still in love with Mary.
02:40:20.000 That's just like a joke that kind of...
02:40:21.000 She's like, I made cookies.
02:40:22.000 You want a blowjob?
02:40:23.000 And he's like still in love with another woman.
02:40:26.000 That's how amazing Mary is.
02:40:29.000 Yeah, man.
02:40:30.000 There's just too many goddamn movies.
02:40:32.000 Yeah.
02:40:32.000 That's what I'm saying about they're constantly making movies, but the movies don't go away.
02:40:37.000 I heard this Annihilation movie is supposed to be amazing.
02:40:39.000 Is it?
02:40:39.000 I keep hearing good things.
02:40:40.000 Have you seen it?
02:40:42.000 I haven't heard shit from anybody I know, though.
02:40:44.000 I haven't seen Black Panther yet, either.
02:40:46.000 Have you seen it?
02:40:46.000 I haven't seen that, either.
02:40:47.000 I haven't been to movies in a while.
02:40:48.000 I very rarely go out to the movies.
02:40:51.000 Annihilation is by the Ex Machina guy, though.
02:40:53.000 Oh, really?
02:40:54.000 Yeah.
02:40:54.000 That movie's fantastic.
02:40:55.000 That's one of my all-time...
02:40:57.000 If I had 20 all-time greats, that's in there.
02:40:59.000 It is?
02:40:59.000 Yeah.
02:40:59.000 That movie's in there.
02:41:01.000 Especially for me, because I'm really obsessed with the idea of artificial intelligence and where it can go.
02:41:08.000 And to see it in a form like that, I'm like, I'm buying this.
02:41:11.000 I'm not necessarily buying this one-man operation.
02:41:13.000 This one dude is a super genius.
02:41:15.000 He's programming everything and doing...
02:41:16.000 Eh.
02:41:17.000 I think it'd probably be a little bigger than that.
02:41:18.000 Sure.
02:41:19.000 Especially the initial launch.
02:41:20.000 You're going to have teams and teams of people.
02:41:22.000 But he's like the Elon Musk of that.
02:41:24.000 He's like the head of that idea.
02:41:25.000 I get it.
02:41:26.000 I'm willing to go in.
02:41:27.000 I'm willing to go in.
02:41:28.000 You can suspend your disbelief enough on it.
02:41:30.000 That was it.
02:41:30.000 It was like the only part of the movie that I got to go, okay, I just got to assume this guy's the ultimate uber-super genius.
02:41:36.000 And it seems like we're looking at something in the future anyway.
02:41:38.000 It seems like this is not current time.
02:41:40.000 Yeah.
02:41:40.000 It seemed like it was about 30 or 40 years in the future.
02:41:42.000 It had that Black Mirror vibe to it.
02:41:44.000 It's realistic, but it's a little bit in the future.
02:41:47.000 I find that with movies what's so funny is what you're willing to suspend your disbelief about.
02:41:52.000 I used to do a bit about this.
02:41:54.000 You'll go see Spider-Man.
02:41:57.000 You know what I mean?
02:41:58.000 It's about a fucking dude who gets bit by a spider and then...
02:42:01.000 Then there's a scene where someone makes a cell phone call in a basement and gets reception.
02:42:05.000 I'm like, yeah, this is fucking unrealistic.
02:42:07.000 You know, like the stupidest things.
02:42:08.000 It'll be like a white cab driver in New York.
02:42:10.000 I'm like, come on!
02:42:11.000 With a cigar out of the corner of his mouth and a schoolboy hat.
02:42:14.000 They did that in that Kevin Spacey Superman movie.
02:42:17.000 The one that came and went very quickly.
02:42:19.000 Kevin Spacey was Lex Luthor and that other dude was Superman.
02:42:22.000 Kevin Spacey was Lex Luthor?
02:42:24.000 They released the Superman movie.
02:42:26.000 Oh, that's right.
02:42:27.000 And Amy Adams, I think.
02:42:28.000 Who was Superman?
02:42:29.000 Who's the Superman?
02:42:31.000 Like...
02:42:32.000 Some dude?
02:42:32.000 Some dude.
02:42:33.000 And then, like, it was like, he's Superman, and then it was like, he's not.
02:42:35.000 Anyway, there he is.
02:42:36.000 That's the dude?
02:42:37.000 Yeah, his name's like...
02:42:37.000 He looks like he'd be Superman.
02:42:39.000 Brandon?
02:42:39.000 Hi, Brandon.
02:42:40.000 Yeah, Brandon something.
02:42:41.000 Brandon, that dude who was Superman.
02:42:43.000 And Kevin Spacey was Lex Luthor?
02:42:45.000 He's the George Lazenby of Superman.
02:42:47.000 Why did I not remember this at all?
02:42:49.000 Well, there's a scene...
02:42:49.000 Look at this, Kevin Spacey with his head shaved.
02:42:50.000 Yeah, it's so okay.
02:42:51.000 Actually, let's go with his head shaved.
02:42:52.000 It's...
02:42:52.000 It's a bad movie, but there's a scene in that movie where Superman flies over the Brooklyn Bridge and a fat white guy with a cigar and a newsboy hat goes, what the heck?
02:43:01.000 And I was like, this is the worst movie I've ever seen.
02:43:05.000 Literally, that happens in this movie.
02:43:08.000 That's hilarious.
02:43:09.000 He says, what the heck was that?
02:43:10.000 That guy hasn't driven a cab in 40 years.
02:43:13.000 He was in Batman vs.
02:43:15.000 Superman too?
02:43:16.000 Kevin Spacey?
02:43:17.000 No, no, no.
02:43:17.000 They just showed that clip.
02:43:18.000 What was that image that you were just looking at with him in long hair?
02:43:21.000 Five new stills from Batman vs.
02:43:23.000 Superman released.
02:43:24.000 What?
02:43:25.000 Was he in that movie?
02:43:26.000 I didn't see that movie and I assume you didn't either.
02:43:28.000 I don't recall.
02:43:28.000 Because I respect you.
02:43:30.000 Yeah, I watched it on iTunes.
02:43:33.000 Batman vs.
02:43:34.000 Superman?
02:43:34.000 How bad was it?
02:43:36.000 It's pretty bad.
02:43:38.000 It can't be good.
02:43:39.000 The longer version of it, there's Wonder Woman in it, she's alright, but it's really long and they redo the whole...
02:43:47.000 Fucking Batman as a kid in the bats, and he falls in the bat thing.
02:43:51.000 I'm like, how many fucking times have we seen this kid fall in a bat cave?
02:43:54.000 Like, they have to retell me how he became Batman, and the whole thing was his parents get shot, and it's a flashback.
02:44:00.000 I'm like, remember, like...
02:44:01.000 You know, Dance with the Devil in the Pale Moonlight or whatever.
02:44:04.000 Like, that shit was the Nicholson one, and then they did the one with Christian Bale, the origin story of Batman.
02:44:11.000 He's Lex Luthor.
02:44:11.000 You know.
02:44:12.000 Jesse Eisenberg.
02:44:13.000 Right, Eisenberg is Lex Luthor.
02:44:15.000 He's the new Lex Luthor?
02:44:16.000 Yeah.
02:44:16.000 He was in Batman vs.
02:44:17.000 Superman.
02:44:17.000 Oh, okay.
02:44:18.000 Yeah, in the new Batman universe, or the Superman universe, I guess.
02:44:22.000 And I heard Justice League is just as bad.
02:44:24.000 Really?
02:44:25.000 Yeah.
02:44:25.000 Why are you breaking my heart, bro?
02:44:27.000 I don't know.
02:44:27.000 DC can't do it.
02:44:28.000 What is out now, though?
02:44:29.000 Isn't there some sort of superhero movie out now?
02:44:32.000 Besides Black Panther?
02:44:34.000 Is there something coming out now?
02:44:35.000 The new...
02:44:36.000 Avengers?
02:44:36.000 Yeah, the big infinity.
02:44:38.000 When's that?
02:44:39.000 When's that coming?
02:44:40.000 This summer.
02:44:41.000 As long as you let the Hulk freak out.
02:44:43.000 That's what they've been building up for the whole, all these five years of movies since The Last Avengers have been building to this big story.
02:44:48.000 They gotta get rid of that dude with the bow and arrow.
02:44:51.000 Stop!
02:44:51.000 That's all you got is a bow and arrow.
02:44:53.000 Jeremy Renner?
02:44:54.000 I love that guy, but you gotta give him a better superpower.
02:44:57.000 You can't have just a regular dude with a shitty recurve, shooting slow-ass arrows.
02:45:02.000 Scarlett Johansson's just like a girl who was trained by Russians to kick ass.
02:45:06.000 I'm willing to buy it.
02:45:07.000 She's hot.
02:45:09.000 Let's keep her on board.
02:45:10.000 This guy's ridiculous, though.
02:45:11.000 Get the fuck out of here, bro.
02:45:13.000 Let me see your form, first of all.
02:45:14.000 Let me see what he looks like when he pulls back his bow.
02:45:17.000 Do you think he does it right?
02:45:18.000 Yeah, probably.
02:45:19.000 Nope.
02:45:19.000 Nope.
02:45:20.000 Let's get three arrows.
02:45:21.000 Get the fuck out of here, bitch.
02:45:22.000 Can't shoot three arrows at the same time.
02:45:24.000 They'll all be slow as shit.
02:45:26.000 He's got some mystical bow.
02:45:29.000 Doesn't make sense.
02:45:30.000 It's too much power.
02:45:31.000 So the power must all be in the projectiles.
02:45:33.000 Yeah, it's like a tech bow, you know?
02:45:35.000 It's so stupid.
02:45:35.000 It's all tech.
02:45:36.000 The whole thing is stupid because he's got like these missile tips on the end of this slow bullshit-ass bow.
02:45:41.000 That's a slow-ass bow.
02:45:44.000 It's a slow-ass bow.
02:45:45.000 It is!
02:45:46.000 Huh?
02:45:46.000 I love it.
02:45:48.000 No, he's on the right side because he's shooting...
02:45:50.000 Where is his thing?
02:45:51.000 It's on the...
02:45:52.000 He's pulling back with his left hand and it's on the right.
02:45:55.000 But some people do do that.
02:45:57.000 They do?
02:45:57.000 Believe it or not.
02:45:58.000 Yeah.
02:45:58.000 If you learn it that way, you can do it that way.
02:46:00.000 That seems weird.
02:46:02.000 It does, but on a compound bow, you would definitely have it on the other side, but I've seen people do it that way.
02:46:07.000 The thing is with a riser, like one of these bow risers, a recurve bow riser, it's kind of a different thing because your arrow is making contact with the riser as well.
02:46:18.000 There's like way less accuracy with one of those things, especially that traditional kind of a setup the way he has.
02:46:24.000 Like if you look at Archers in the Olympics, they have a bunch of different classes that they compete in.
02:46:32.000 And when you have an arrow that has to brush up against the side of your bow like that, like those traditional old ones, those are the hardest to really develop real accuracy with.
02:46:42.000 It requires a lot of feel, man.
02:46:45.000 You've got to really practice with that thing and know that you're pulling the bow back exactly the same distance every time.
02:46:51.000 Because if you pull it back an inch more, it'll have a bunch more feet per second power.
02:46:57.000 It'll go higher or lower if you don't pull it back far enough.
02:47:00.000 Yeah, he seems to be doing that in every picture.
02:47:03.000 I'm sure they trained him, and I'm sure some people do do it that way.
02:47:07.000 And it looks like in some of these things, he's shooting left-handed.
02:47:11.000 Okay.
02:47:12.000 Well, then it's the right way.
02:47:13.000 So he's shooting left-handed.
02:47:15.000 That's why it's on the other side.
02:47:16.000 But I felt like on the other side it was his right arm.
02:47:18.000 Nope, it's his left arm.
02:47:19.000 Okay.
02:47:19.000 Duh.
02:47:20.000 That's why.
02:47:21.000 How did I not notice that?
02:47:22.000 Yeah, he's got his left arm up.
02:47:24.000 So he's drawing back the bow with his left arm.
02:47:27.000 That's why it's on the other side.
02:47:28.000 But I have seen people, even people who are right-handed, on a traditional bow.
02:47:32.000 But maybe it was like one of those stick bows.
02:47:35.000 Not like a traditional bow like a...
02:47:39.000 But if you were pulling back with your right arm, it would still be on the outside of the bow, right?
02:47:43.000 If you were doing it with your right arm, a compound bow, it's on the other side.
02:47:48.000 So if I'm holding it with my left side, the arrow's going to be on the left side.
02:47:51.000 But I think on some traditional bows, and I'm talking out of my ass a little bit because I don't know too much about traditional bows, but I think there are some guys who put the arrow on the other side.
02:48:00.000 And I think that was actually a part of that Lars Anderson's video.
02:48:04.000 Isn't that the guy's name?
02:48:06.000 The guy was the crazy arrow expert who shoots all those arrows at the same time.
02:48:09.000 I think that was one of the things that he was saying was to have it on this side.
02:48:14.000 Yes, that's exactly what it was.
02:48:16.000 He was saying to have it on that side because it makes it easier to put onto the string if he's grabbing the arrow and just throwing it on the string rather than going over the top to the other side.
02:48:25.000 Yeah, that's what it was.
02:48:27.000 Look at all these guys.
02:48:28.000 They have it on the left-hand side.
02:48:30.000 All these guys have it on the left-hand side.
02:48:32.000 So he's doing opposite.
02:48:33.000 Pull back with the right and going on the left.
02:48:34.000 Yes.
02:48:35.000 Gotcha.
02:48:35.000 So he's got it.
02:48:36.000 That's how he has it.
02:48:38.000 That's how most people have it.
02:48:40.000 And this is like...
02:48:41.000 What he's got in his hands right here, that was an Olympic target bow.
02:48:47.000 So what he's doing is...
02:48:49.000 Instead of going all the way around to the left, he's explaining how much wasted motion is in that.
02:48:54.000 Gotcha.
02:48:55.000 And so instead...
02:48:56.000 He's saying you go to the same side, and he shows all these images of people with arrows to the same side.
02:49:03.000 They all have it on the same side.
02:49:04.000 And it makes sense.
02:49:05.000 That would be so much easier and quicker to do it that way.
02:49:08.000 Totally makes sense.
02:49:09.000 Oh, shit.
02:49:10.000 Yeah.
02:49:10.000 Completely makes sense.
02:49:12.000 I think this for accuracy...
02:49:14.000 I would have to talk to my friend John Dudley about this.
02:49:17.000 He's a master archery instructor.
02:49:19.000 I bet there's something to do with torque.
02:49:22.000 But again, that's another thing, like if you just shoot with the same bow, the same weight arrows, over and over and over again with that, it's sort of like, you know how to throw a rock?
02:49:30.000 Or a baseball, perfect example.
02:49:32.000 If you have a baseball and there's a tree that's like 30 feet away, 40 feet away, you know how far or how hard you have to throw the ball to hit that tree.
02:49:41.000 You know, you can actually get pretty close to a spot in that tree, just throwing it.
02:49:47.000 Well, it's because you've done it a bunch of times.
02:49:50.000 If you've played catch with a bunch of people, you kind of know what to do with a baseball.
02:49:53.000 It's the same thing with a bow and arrow.
02:49:55.000 Especially that kind, that style where you don't have a sight that you're looking through.
02:49:59.000 You're just pulling back and you kind of know where the arrow's going to go.
02:50:02.000 You just kind of know because you do it a lot.
02:50:03.000 There's a feel.
02:50:04.000 Yeah, but you have to do it every time.
02:50:05.000 You have to bring it back exactly the same spot on your face every time, because if you go here, it's going to go different, it's going to go further, or if you go in front of your face, you don't pull it back all the way, it's going to go shorter.
02:50:16.000 Right, but in some cases you want to be doing that, so you just have to know...
02:50:19.000 No, you never want to be having it with a different form.
02:50:24.000 You always want to pull it back to the exact same spot.
02:50:26.000 You want to aim at different positions.
02:50:28.000 So in other words, though, then the range of the bow is the same?
02:50:30.000 Every time.
02:50:31.000 Every time.
02:50:32.000 Yeah, that's the only way you're ever going to understand where it's going to go.
02:50:33.000 Oh, so it's not like you can go if you really want to go deep.
02:50:35.000 Well, you can lift it up, but you're just aiming at a different spot.
02:50:37.000 But you always want to pull it back further.
02:50:39.000 No.
02:50:40.000 You always want to pull it back to the exact same spot.
02:50:42.000 Well, the compound bow is actually called the wall.
02:50:45.000 It's a place where you can't pull it back any further.
02:50:46.000 It just locks in place when the arrow is fully drawn.
02:50:49.000 And then you just release it.
02:50:51.000 The release is hard.
02:50:53.000 That's the thing, I think, to not have it smack against your arm.
02:50:55.000 It's just a form issue.
02:50:57.000 Once you learn how to do it with the right form...
02:50:59.000 To let go fast.
02:50:59.000 No, it's where you're standing.
02:51:01.000 If you're standing like this, totally sideways, the string is going to hit your arm.
02:51:05.000 You're supposed to open up more.
02:51:06.000 So you're drawing back like this.
02:51:08.000 Gotcha.
02:51:08.000 So there's space.
02:51:09.000 So the arrow...
02:51:10.000 Very rarely does your forearm get hit by a string.
02:51:13.000 It's super rare with someone who fires a bow a lot.
02:51:15.000 Knows how to do it.
02:51:16.000 Yeah, but like those old-timey dudes, I mean, they're just firing arrows in the middle of fucking war and shit, and that's why they had those big bands across their forearm to protect themselves from the strings.
02:51:25.000 Yeah.
02:51:25.000 And they had like crazy powerful bows that you gotta be a beast to pull back.
02:51:29.000 Like the Mongols, their bow was 160 pounds to pull back.
02:51:33.000 Jesus Christ.
02:51:34.000 Yeah, those people must have been so powerful, man.
02:51:37.000 Yeah, that's crazy.
02:51:38.000 Yeah, and then just shooting these steel-tipped wooden arrows into people's bodies.
02:51:43.000 But with like a compound bow like the one you use...
02:51:46.000 You're pulling back...
02:51:47.000 84 pounds.
02:51:49.000 84 pounds.
02:51:50.000 But it feels like, what, like 10?
02:51:51.000 No, it feels like 84 pounds until about right here.
02:51:54.000 And the cams roll over.
02:51:56.000 You know, they have these mechanical...
02:51:57.000 These cams give you, like, this mechanical advantage.
02:51:59.000 And as the cams pull over, boom...
02:52:01.000 Then it gives you, like, a big let-off.
02:52:03.000 Then the let-off is probably somewhere around...
02:52:05.000 I'd have to find out.
02:52:08.000 It can be as high as, like, 85% to 90% let-off, though.
02:52:11.000 Wow.
02:52:12.000 So you're only holding, like...
02:52:13.000 It's a pulley system, basically.
02:52:14.000 At some point, like, just the pulley does the work.
02:52:17.000 Yeah.
02:52:17.000 And then it's about trying to achieve a surprise shot.
02:52:22.000 Then everything, once you're at full draw and fully locked in and you have proper form and you're aiming at the target, then it's about...
02:52:29.000 You're using a release aid with a compound bow.
02:52:31.000 It's not like you're letting go with your fingers like you would with a traditional bow.
02:52:34.000 You have like a handle in your hand or on your wrist and you get to a certain point and then you lock on it and then you just start pulling back with your finger touching the trigger.
02:52:42.000 So you don't activate the trigger by pulling your finger.
02:52:45.000 You put your finger on the trigger and you activate it with your back.
02:52:48.000 Gotcha.
02:52:48.000 So that you can't flinch.
02:52:49.000 You can't, like, go...
02:52:50.000 Yeah.
02:52:51.000 You can't freak it.
02:52:52.000 It's like you keep pulling and then it automatically releases the trigger.
02:52:55.000 Yeah.
02:52:55.000 Well, there's a thing that we have called impact bracing.
02:52:58.000 Like, we brace for impact.
02:52:59.000 That's why if you see somebody, like, if they have a round in their gun and it's a blank...
02:53:04.000 They go to hit it, or it's a dummy round where it doesn't go off, but you see them go like that as they pull the trigger, they have a bad trigger pull.
02:53:10.000 And they have to, one of the things they do in training, like if you ever watch Tim Kennedy, this guy fought in the UFC, has a bunch of training video footage, he's a Navy SEAL, ranger, psychopath, awesome dude.
02:53:20.000 My cousin actually is like a huge, he's like a competitive shooter, and he has like a crazy Instagram following, and he's like, You know, you can like quick draw and like all that stuff.
02:53:30.000 I've watched tons of his stuff and he's just like, he's a beast, you know?
02:53:33.000 And he does like, you know, he does...
02:53:36.000 Those drills.
02:53:37.000 The drills.
02:53:38.000 He does stuff where you're like carrying a body and then like, you know, like obstacle courses with guns and all that stuff.
02:53:43.000 It's pretty amazing.
02:53:43.000 Google whether...
02:53:44.000 What was Kennedy's...
02:53:45.000 I know he's a ranger.
02:53:46.000 I'm pretty sure.
02:53:49.000 Find out what else he did.
02:53:50.000 But he's got a bunch of videos of him shooting on the range.
02:53:53.000 And he's actually active military again, which is crazy.
02:53:57.000 Quit the UFC, went back into the military.
02:53:59.000 When he's pulling, he's like, and then he goes, click, because he's got a dummy around.
02:54:04.000 And he's like, oh, there's no movement.
02:54:06.000 There's no movement.
02:54:07.000 And that's what he wants to train for.
02:54:09.000 He wants to train for that perfect ability to execute, especially in a combat situation.
02:54:14.000 Of course.
02:54:15.000 Yeah, like the other things they have are like those...
02:54:18.000 You know, that movie thing where you're like, I guess you have that with a bow, but you can do it with guns.
02:54:24.000 Simulated scenarios.
02:54:25.000 Yeah, and you're like in a house, and a dude's got like a gun to a lady's head.
02:54:28.000 How do they do that?
02:54:28.000 Do they have like a wall that they shoot against?
02:54:30.000 I think they have a wall they shoot against, and they just put like new paper up.
02:54:32.000 A projection?
02:54:33.000 Oh, okay.
02:54:34.000 So it's like a target paper, I think, is how it's done.
02:54:37.000 What's this, Jamie?
02:54:39.000 Tim Kennedy's thing?
02:54:40.000 Just go to his...
02:54:42.000 Does the Wikipedia page tell you what his credentials are?
02:54:45.000 Go to his wiki.
02:54:46.000 Go to all.
02:54:47.000 Son of a bitch.
02:54:49.000 What are you doing?
02:54:49.000 Showing me videos?
02:54:50.000 He's hunting for Hitler right now.
02:54:52.000 Is he?
02:54:53.000 Tim Kennedy is.
02:54:53.000 He's on that show, Hunting for Hitler.
02:54:55.000 What is that?
02:54:56.000 What are they looking for?
02:54:58.000 There's a conspiracy theory that Hitler left and moved to South America.
02:55:01.000 Let me see what it says there, Jamie.
02:55:06.000 Special Forces.
02:55:07.000 He'd be dead by now.
02:55:08.000 Isn't it like surmised on the side there?
02:55:11.000 What does it say?
02:55:14.000 There it goes.
02:55:15.000 Sergeant First Class, Special Forces, Texas Army National Guard.
02:55:18.000 Jesus Christ.
02:55:20.000 Both Iraq and Afghanistan.
02:55:22.000 Yeah, he's an animal.
02:55:23.000 Yeah.
02:55:23.000 So Seven Special Forces Group.
02:55:25.000 He's a special dude.
02:55:27.000 And he's a very inspirational guy.
02:55:29.000 He watches YouTube.
02:55:30.000 He's every day doing rows and fucking crazy workouts.
02:55:33.000 Awesome.
02:55:34.000 He's getting after it.
02:55:34.000 And he's like, oof.
02:55:35.000 Yeah.
02:55:36.000 You realize how lazy you are with so many people now.
02:55:39.000 You've never been exposed.
02:55:39.000 Well, I realize that with you too, man.
02:55:40.000 I watch your shit.
02:55:41.000 I'm like, God.
02:55:41.000 Well, I realize it from them.
02:55:42.000 That's why I do it.
02:55:43.000 Yeah.
02:55:43.000 That's what's made me so fucking psychopathic.
02:55:46.000 Yeah.
02:55:46.000 That and my goddamn dog.
02:55:48.000 My dog loves, like, he was always scared to get in the car.
02:55:51.000 Now he jumps into the car.
02:55:52.000 Because he knows if we get in the car, it means we're going to go run.
02:55:55.000 Mm-hmm.
02:55:55.000 So we drive down to the trail, and he gets out.
02:55:57.000 He's like, Fuck yeah!
02:55:58.000 He loves it.
02:55:59.000 And he just takes off.
02:56:00.000 So I have to keep up with him.
02:56:01.000 So I'm getting this great workout at least three days a week.
02:56:03.000 So how far are you running?
02:56:05.000 Two miles.
02:56:06.000 But off-road running, like trail running?
02:56:08.000 It's ridiculous shit.
02:56:09.000 It's hard.
02:56:10.000 It's hard, yeah.
02:56:11.000 Today I did it with a different pair of shoes.
02:56:13.000 Most of the time I do it with those five-finger barefoot shoes.
02:56:16.000 You do?
02:56:16.000 You like running those?
02:56:17.000 Did you read that guy's book, that barefoot running book?
02:56:19.000 No, I did not, but I heard about it and that was all I needed to know.
02:56:22.000 I'm one of those people.
02:56:23.000 I don't Don't even bother researching it.
02:56:25.000 The way he lands on his ball of your foot, right?
02:56:29.000 Well, I got it from Mark Sisson.
02:56:30.000 Mark Sisson, who's the author of The Primal Blueprint.
02:56:34.000 Really interesting guy.
02:56:35.000 He's basically said that shoes are like a cast, and that the problem with those five-finger shoes is they had said a bunch of things that's going to prevent injuries, and they actually had a class-action lawsuit against them because a bunch of people got hurt.
02:56:47.000 It'll prevent injuries eventually, but if you go too hard initially, your feet are not in condition.
02:56:53.000 Right.
02:56:54.000 Dude, I was stunned how weak my feet are when I started doing, and I've done martial arts like most of my life, so I've always been doing things barefoot, but I had bitch-ass feet, and I didn't realize it, I didn't realize it until...
02:57:05.000 Pussy feet, they call that.
02:57:06.000 I started doing yoga.
02:57:08.000 Yoga taught me how weak my feet were.
02:57:10.000 Like I would be in these positions and my feet would give out before anything.
02:57:13.000 That's interesting.
02:57:13.000 Like cramp up?
02:57:14.000 Yeah, cramp up.
02:57:15.000 And also, I've basically had flat feet my whole life.
02:57:19.000 Over the last year and a half of running with these barefoot shoes on, now I have an arch.
02:57:24.000 Wow!
02:57:25.000 Dude, I didn't have an arch.
02:57:26.000 You like molded your foot into an arched foot.
02:57:28.000 I think my foot was just weak.
02:57:30.000 I think the whole thing was, the whole structure was weak.
02:57:33.000 And my legs were strong, because my legs are used to lifting things, but they're always used to doing it with shoes on.
02:57:38.000 Right.
02:57:39.000 Now that I do all that hill running, like, basically, the only thing that sucks is, like, sharp rocks.
02:57:45.000 Like, when you have to run over, like, little rocks.
02:57:46.000 Because you feel it.
02:57:47.000 Yeah, they pierce it.
02:57:48.000 They're going right in your fucking foot.
02:57:49.000 But isn't the concept of that, too, is like you're running on the balls of your feet, but you're also sort of like falling forward, like you're using the momentum of gravity to carry you between each, so you're not doing as much impact.
02:57:59.000 Well, you change your stance if you're running forward on the ball of your feet.
02:58:04.000 Because if you're running backwards on the heels, you're leaning back more.
02:58:07.000 As you're going forward, you just have to change your gait, and you change it into a leaning forward gait.
02:58:12.000 But it seems so much more natural.
02:58:14.000 Yeah, it took a while to get it down, though, right?
02:58:16.000 It's fucking hard, yeah.
02:58:17.000 Yeah.
02:58:17.000 Especially, it just feels weird.
02:58:18.000 Because it's not the way you normally run.
02:58:20.000 I tried doing it, because that guy came on The Daily Show years ago and talked about it, and I tried doing it.
02:58:24.000 But after a while, you just start going, I don't know.
02:58:27.000 It's like changing your form.
02:58:30.000 You're changing your form on something you're just so used to doing.
02:58:32.000 It's hard to do that.
02:58:33.000 Right, but it's the only way to do it.
02:58:34.000 It really is the only way to run.
02:58:36.000 Those other ways, the way that they develop for that thick-heeled running shoe way where you're landing on heel first, it's terrible for your knees.
02:58:43.000 Your knees aren't mechanically designed that way.
02:58:45.000 And they think that's one of the reasons why a lot of people who wear those kind of shoes develop knee problems, whereas a lot of the people in that book, which are running completely on the ball of their foot, a lot of them are wearing soles that they made out of tires, like strapped into some sort of a sandal.
02:59:01.000 Yeah, and they're running like...
02:59:02.000 Those guys run hundreds of miles in the mountains.
02:59:06.000 It's pretty crazy.
02:59:07.000 You develop a toughness on your feet, for sure.
02:59:09.000 Mine aren't there at all.
02:59:11.000 I'm a bitch.
02:59:11.000 On the way down, especially, because I'm going down deep into this canyon and I'm running back up and out.
02:59:18.000 There's some ups at the end of it, too.
02:59:19.000 It's almost like a bowl.
02:59:21.000 But when I get to the sharp spots on the way down, it's hard because you feel like, ah!
02:59:25.000 And you know it's coming, too.
02:59:27.000 But I feel like if I just keep doing it, eventually my feet will toughen up.
02:59:30.000 But for sure, they've gotten stronger.
02:59:33.000 They've gotten way stronger.
02:59:34.000 They feel different.
02:59:35.000 It sounds so stupid.
02:59:37.000 I'm listening to myself.
02:59:37.000 I know it sounds stupid.
02:59:38.000 But when I'm walking around, my feet feel different.
02:59:41.000 Like they're feeling the ground more.
02:59:43.000 Right.
02:59:44.000 Like they used to be just like, well, here's my feet.
02:59:46.000 You've like activated muscles in them that you hadn't activated.
02:59:48.000 Exactly.
02:59:49.000 Yeah, that makes sense.
02:59:50.000 It's like any other body part, you know.
02:59:51.000 Which we don't think about it, though.
02:59:52.000 When do you ever think about strengthening your feet?
02:59:54.000 Never.
02:59:55.000 But it's like any time you strengthen like a secondary muscle or something, you're like, oh, that's why my posture was so bad, you know?
03:00:01.000 It was like, you know, whatever.
03:00:02.000 It's like there's always some, you know, some other thing to work on.
03:00:06.000 It just makes me think, too, for like just physical movement, like how often do you need the power of your feet?
03:00:12.000 Like how often are you pushing off of something or lifting something up and using your feet?
03:00:16.000 It's kind of amazing that we never take into consideration the actual strength of our feet.
03:00:20.000 Yeah.
03:00:21.000 I worked out with this guy for a little while and he showed me these rubber balls that you can roll your feet on to engage the muscles.
03:00:34.000 There were parts where I would hit a part of my foot Pain was like because it was just like a sore muscle from walking you know like and it's just like massaging it out but like parts of your body that you're just not like engaging and you just roll your foot on it and then you find the places that need to be like rolled out and Fuck man like it hurts like you're going between each toe and like you know that area here and it's like it's fucking painful because your feet are Just,
03:01:02.000 you know, doing what they're doing all day and you're not really paying attention to them.
03:01:05.000 Not at all.
03:01:05.000 You just put them in the shoes and fuck it.
03:01:07.000 Lace them up and don't think about them.
03:01:09.000 You only think about them when they're hurt.
03:01:10.000 God damn it, I got an ingrown toenail and then you get pissed off.
03:01:13.000 Fucking stupid feet.
03:01:14.000 Fucking feet.
03:01:15.000 Always getting in my way.
03:01:16.000 People, they're carrying you around all day.
03:01:17.000 You don't give a shit.
03:01:18.000 Fuck you.
03:01:19.000 It's crazy.
03:01:20.000 Yeah, well, just apparently, according to Sisson, and it really makes sense, that your foot, the strength of your foot just atrophies if you just stuff it into a shoe because it has this hard surface where you're not really feeling the ground.
03:01:33.000 There's all this cushioning so your foot doesn't...
03:01:36.000 It's not...
03:01:37.000 Like, giving in in the natural way of ball of the foot first, resist with the center of the foot and the arch, and then eventually drop down to the heel.
03:01:44.000 It's not doing that.
03:01:46.000 It's just getting this cushiony, cushiony slop.
03:01:48.000 It's a sloppy-ass foot.
03:01:50.000 It's inside.
03:01:50.000 It's barely working.
03:01:52.000 It's weird.
03:01:53.000 It's weird when you think about it that way.
03:01:55.000 You know, because that's not how your foot was designed.
03:01:57.000 Your foot was designed for a very specific method of moving around, and we just changed that.
03:02:02.000 We're like, nah, fuck you, nature.
03:02:04.000 Well, I get like that sometimes with my hands.
03:02:05.000 Like, a lot of times I'll do stuff.
03:02:07.000 And I'm like, I'm not going to put work gloves on for this or whatever, because there's a party that's like, yeah, maybe I'll get a splinter, but aren't you supposed to get some splinter?
03:02:14.000 Aren't you supposed to have the ability to just use your hands the way they came?
03:02:19.000 For some things, for sure.
03:02:21.000 It's also like a dexterity thing.
03:02:23.000 It's good to be able to...
03:02:25.000 Get in somewhere and screw a nut on something.
03:02:28.000 You know, that kind of stuff where it's like there's like a tactile.
03:02:30.000 And I feel like if you don't do that kind of stuff with your hands, they get kind of the same thing.
03:02:35.000 Like you lose your dexterity and you lose your ability to touch something that's rough and not go like, ow!
03:02:41.000 Right.
03:02:41.000 Have you ever seen the hands of a really good carpenter?
03:02:44.000 Yeah.
03:02:45.000 I mean, those guys are just grabbing shit all the time.
03:02:49.000 His hands are like fucking...
03:02:53.000 Everything is just...
03:02:54.000 Always using the hands.
03:02:58.000 And the speed at which they can pop up a thing and pop a nail in.
03:03:01.000 I actually got my uncle for Christmas this year a magnetic wristband that you can put all your screws and stuff on.
03:03:09.000 You don't have to keep them in your mouth.
03:03:11.000 He just keeps sending me photos of him building stuff with this wristband full of screws and nails.
03:03:16.000 And he's like, I love these things.
03:03:17.000 That's hilarious.
03:03:18.000 Yeah, it's so funny.
03:03:19.000 People who actually...
03:03:21.000 Our actively fixing things and doing things like...
03:03:24.000 Dude, I think we did like three and a half hours.
03:03:26.000 Yeah, I don't know.
03:03:27.000 What time is it?
03:03:27.000 Is it 4.15?
03:03:28.000 Yep.
03:03:29.000 This is a ridiculously long podcast.
03:03:31.000 Wow.
03:03:31.000 Shit, it is 4.15.
03:03:32.000 So easy to do a podcast with you, Rory.
03:03:34.000 I do, and I love talking to you, man.
03:03:35.000 So much fun, man.
03:03:35.000 So fun.
03:03:36.000 I know.
03:03:36.000 So keep us posted on when your video is going to release, and we'd be happy to promote it.
03:03:41.000 If you would, that'd be huge for me, man.
03:03:43.000 I'll put it on Twitter and Instagram.
03:03:44.000 We'll talk about it on the podcast.
03:03:46.000 Dude, that'd be huge for me.
03:03:47.000 Let everybody know.
03:03:48.000 What's the name of it?
03:03:49.000 So you look forward to it.
03:03:50.000 I haven't named it yet.
03:03:51.000 I'm thinking about calling it Free Hour.
03:03:56.000 That's a great name!
03:03:57.000 Can I plug a couple kicks?
03:04:00.000 Yeah, for sure.
03:04:01.000 I'm going to be in Rhode Island the weekend of the 9th of March at Comedy Connection in Rhode Island, Providence, Rhode Island.
03:04:09.000 That's the bank vault joint.
03:04:10.000 Yeah, it's a really good club.
03:04:11.000 Yeah, that's a great club.
03:04:12.000 And then I'm at their other club, Cabot Comedy, that weekend in Massachusetts, Chicopee Mass on Sunday.
03:04:16.000 And then I'm at Ho-Chunk Casino in Wisconsin on the 21st.
03:04:21.000 And then the 29th through the 31st of March, I'm at Comedy Works Denver.
03:04:25.000 The best.
03:04:25.000 The fucking best club ever.
03:04:26.000 One of them.
03:04:27.000 Co-host New York in April, if anyone knows where that is.
03:04:29.000 Glorious.
03:04:30.000 And website?
03:04:31.000 RoryAlbanese.com.
03:04:32.000 Twitter.
03:04:33.000 RoryAlbanese and everything.
03:04:34.000 Instagram.
03:04:34.000 I just got on Vero, by the way.
03:04:36.000 I just got on Vero, too, but I heard we're not supposed to.
03:04:38.000 Jamie says we might not be supposed to.
03:04:40.000 Really?
03:04:40.000 I don't know.
03:04:41.000 I can't keep up.
03:04:42.000 I don't have the fucking energy.
03:04:43.000 I'll see you, fuckers.
03:04:44.000 Bye.
03:04:45.000 Thanks, Rory.