This week, the boys discuss the tragic death of rapper Craig Mack, the sudden passing of rapper Biggie Smalls, and the ongoing gentrification of the Boyle Heights neighborhood of Los Angeles. They also talk about the recent protests against gentrification in Boyle Heights, and how the gentrification is affecting the local community. Also, the guys talk about how they feel about the new coffee shops opening in the area, and whether or not they should be allowed to have them in their neighborhood. And, of course, they talk about a new music video for the song "Point Break" by The Chainsmokers. This episode is brought to you by Point Break Records. Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. The 500 is a production of Native Creative Podcasts. Our theme song is Come Alone by The Weakerthans, courtesy of Lotuspool Records, and our ad music is by Suneaters. If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts! Subscribe, Like, and tell a friend about what you're listening to, and we'll send you a review! Thank you for listening and sharing the podcast! Peace, Blessings, Cheers! Cheers, Jon & Brett. -Jon & Brett, Caitlyn & Brett - The Crew Music: Jon & Caitlyn Mikey Evan Matt Jake Michael John Sarah James Jack Chad Joe Tim Daniel Brad Chris Andrew Patrick Sam David Bobby Matthew Josh Will Justin Chelsie Jordan Julian Chay Ben Can Isamu Alex Kacz Brian Carl Emily ( ) Jaden Shavyn Pippin Brandon Ian Nick Austin Julia Andru & . Thanks to: , BOBBY Tom Adam and Rachel Cody Jeff Dan Paul
00:02:41.000Yeah, it's East L.A., and apparently the hipsters are starting to open up artisanal coffee shops and art galleries there, and they're not having it.
00:04:12.000Yeah, and one of the guys who owned the coffee shop, they called it like Weird Coffee or something like that, and they put a sign on it calling it White Coffee, and they broke the window.
00:04:21.000But one of the guys who owns it is Latino.
00:04:23.000I don't know if he's Mexican, but he's definitely Latino.
00:04:25.000It'd be funny to open up a spot called White Coffee.
00:08:59.000See, here's the thing about these things, like, you gotta realize that on these shows, there's a lot of the stuff they do is just bullshit.
00:12:06.000Happy dog, and this dog's biting onto his face, and he's yiping, and I'm trying to figure out what to do, and this fucking guy, feet up in the air!
00:14:18.000When she goes in the crate, she likes it when my shirt's on top of it because it feels like it's a little cave.
00:14:22.000You know what's the most bizarre to me is people in New York City who live in these little ass apartments stacked on top of each other and they have dogs.
00:15:29.000There's a bed that sits there, and then there's like, she has this little tiny area where there's a shelf, and then she has a hot plate that sits on the shelf.
00:16:47.000But living in the city was just impossible.
00:16:50.000It was like hundreds of dollars a month just for a parking spot.
00:16:53.000Yeah, I knew I could never afford that.
00:16:54.000That's why I moved to LA. Someone was telling me, they were like, you can get away with paying $400 a month in LA to have a room in a place with roommates.
00:17:04.000Well, I think comics are doing it right.
00:17:07.000Like, there's a lot of, like, Tony Hinchcliffe, when he lived out here, when he first moved here, he lived with, like, three other guys, and, like, they all split the rent on a small one-bedroom apartment or two-bedroom apartment.
00:17:57.000Some guy gets on, some guy, you know, you watch one dude get a lot of rise, and then everyone else is like, why the fuck is he getting so much rise?
00:18:05.000It becomes this, you know, I've only lived with, the only comic I've ever lived with was Duncan.
00:19:13.000I mean, most of the time when I get in the tank, I'm just trying to chill out.
00:19:16.000I always have so many plates spinning.
00:19:19.000There's so many different things I'm always thinking about, like this podcast, who's the future guest, when am I doing stand-up, what bit am I working on, oh, the UFC's coming up, oh, have I watched this guy fight before?
00:19:32.000I've got to make sure that I get my views in on different styles and stuff and have my ideas about what I think about these matchups.
00:21:46.000The most I've ever done is 3 minutes and 40 seconds.
00:21:49.000They don't let you do more than, I think, a minute and a half on your first one.
00:21:52.000They want to make sure that you don't freak out, you're not too sensitive, and then you build your way up to three minutes is the max.
00:21:58.000The only reason why I went further than that is because there was a guy who worked there, and we were just trying to figure out what you can take.
00:22:03.000Yeah, I was going to say, you did it because you wanted to.
00:23:09.000Well, one thing I do do is I do that Wim Hof breathing method, where I take these gigantic breaths, and then I let out 20%, and then I take another breath, like as deep as I can get my lungs, let out 20%, and I concentrate on doing that, and time flies by.
00:23:29.000Have you ever seen those videos where those guys dive in those dive tanks that they have set up?
00:23:33.000But the way they do it, it looks like they take in tons of breath, they let out a little bit, and they keep taking it in as if they're just storing it in the sacks in their lungs.
00:23:40.000I would think that that's not just storing oxygen, too, that you'd be storing carbon dioxide, right?
00:25:16.000Ragnar, Ragnar Lothbrok, that's his name, but it's a fucking badass show.
00:25:20.000But one of the things that's crazy about the show is you really stop and think, well, this is really how it worked, like how kings treated regular people.
00:25:26.000They really got away with that, and all they were was just a regular guy.
00:25:30.000Like, they didn't have superpowers, and everybody would just bow down to him, sire, and they would kiss the rings, and they would just let them do whatever the fuck they wanted.
00:26:17.000There's so many fakes and phonies and ridiculous career politicians that have to watch this guy say, listen, motherfuckers, you're going to pay 25% taxes, and everybody goes crazy and cheers.
00:26:28.000Because they can't believe he's really saying it.
00:26:30.000But it's the stuff that they would say, too, if they didn't have any reservations.
00:29:30.000If someone says something you don't like, it's not against the law.
00:29:33.000So like this idea of you tagging someone like they're the biggest criminal in the world because they said something you don't like is crazy to me.
00:29:39.000People are allowed to not fucking think what you think is right.
00:29:42.000Right, and they're trying to redefine what's acceptable by calling words violence.
00:29:46.000Like, they're calling, saying things is violence.
00:31:34.000But some people are of the opinion that this is all nonsense.
00:31:37.000But if it's an accident, that's not hate speech.
00:31:39.000I'm not taking their point, but I do want to play devil's advocate.
00:31:41.000Because I've had conversations with people who are pretty intelligent people that say, this is all nonsense.
00:31:46.000And then this trans stuff, and this is a trendy thing that people are really getting into, and some people are really...
00:31:53.000Distort like their perceptions of reality is really distorted and they're being talked into this because it's a thing that a lot of people are doing it and so they're getting and I'm I hear that I go wow I don't know if I believe that people are willing to Transition to another sex because they're confused.
00:32:08.000It's a giant ass leap But here's the other leap the leap is you telling someone whether or not they feel a certain way And then the other leap here's the other leap.
00:32:43.000If you used to be a girl or used to be a dude and now you're a girl, someone's gonna make fun of you and that's just the price you pay for being a person.
00:32:51.000But people make fun of everyone for everything.
00:34:37.000They're saying that if you are a person who is male and likes women, if you are unwilling to date a trans woman, it's because you are a transphobic bigot.
00:34:49.000Including if that trans woman still has a penis.
00:37:46.000When someone says the excuse of, like, why do you have a Mac, and someone goes, well, dude, it's great for the arts, and it does this and this, I don't even lie.
00:40:03.000I might have the name completely wrong for the movie, but it was about a woman.
00:40:08.000See, this is hard because I didn't actually watch it, but it was about a woman who got killed and she came back and got the people who got her.
00:42:38.000But the problem with a guy like that is every movie that he does that's goofy takes away from the way you see him if you see him in a movie like this.
00:42:56.000That if he does a Bond movie and he's in some stupid karate scene where he's gonna like throw sidekicks and the guy kicks him in the balls and he bends over and the guy uppercuts him and it looks corny as shit.
00:44:14.000Yo, so in this scene right here in the trailer, he's saying his wife is like, his wife goes, uh, well, you know, he was, he was with so-and-so.
00:46:00.000It's one of the most intriguing and talked about missing person stories in the country.
00:46:04.000Investigators have taken dives at the bottom of lakes, dug up a grave, chased more than 300 reported sightings from Arizona to North Carolina, dropped flyers all over Slovenia, consulted a psychic, interviewed a member of Hells Angels.
00:46:59.0002011, when Penn State Coordinator Jerry Sandusky got arrested and charged with sexually abusing boys, it was revealed that Dracar, who decided not to charge Sandusky when his first victim came forward in 1998. Hmm,
00:47:24.000that's not what I've read in another story.
00:47:26.000This guy's saying, I don't think it was a great stretch.
00:47:28.000He was one of those guys with a very strong sense of justice and professional discipline in light of what evolved and came to be disclosed.
00:47:35.000I speak as a forensic pathologist who's done so many suicides over the years.
00:47:38.000And what can bring someone to that point?
00:47:40.000It's pure conjecture, not based on any factual knowledge.
00:47:46.000It says, the forensic pathologist said he considered writing a book about your car, his ties to the Sandusky case, and whether or not it led to suicide.
00:47:54.000So, he said there's not enough evidence.
00:50:25.000You just like, you could do one of two things.
00:50:26.000Either you bump the animal, which means you go and it gets filled up with adrenaline because it knows you're coming close to it, and then it runs.
00:50:33.000And then they can run for a mile before they expire.
00:50:35.000Or you just let it bed down there peacefully.
00:53:18.000I don't know who likes watching a girl get fucked by like 19 tentacles, like jamming her eyeballs in her mouth and her butthole in her ears and shit.
00:53:47.000So the fact that tentacles look remotely similar to dicks, they've decided to just go with tentacles and your mouth and spits flying out of your mouth.
00:53:57.000And they can't show jizz, but they can show tentacle juice.
00:54:56.000Yeah, you'd have to have a real hog, like a heavy one.
00:54:59.000I'm nice when I'm thick, but when I'm soft, I can't be in the magazine soft.
00:55:01.000I had a bit about it before, that the girl would be like, her mouth would be open, lipstick, and her lips purse and her tongue hanging out, and the dude would have his limp dick resting on her back like a drowning victim he pulled from a lake.
00:57:08.000That guy went to jail for obscenity and he did hard time and he had some hard to watch stuff like he had some some stuff you're like wait a minute what like i found out about it because people weren't like hey man this is the great stuff to jerk off to right they were like what you gotta watch this what in the is this right this guy used a speculum to open this girl's up i'm interested he pissed in her and then he put a straw and made her drink his piss out of
00:57:38.000her own I gotta get out of here for a second.
00:58:28.000He was living in Columbus, where I'm from, and he set up his big house, which he, from what I heard, he had planned on making it like a Playboy Mansion type place, and it was right next door to the Columbus School for Girls, and I think that caused some of the first problems for him.
01:08:10.000I can't imagine the pain of that shit.
01:08:11.000The only thing that I know the most painful thing I ever had was when they stick a fucking tube in your dick hole when they're fucking testing you for shit and they fucking shove a tube and a Q-tip.
01:09:11.000They're gonna, like, jump from the free throw line on the other side of the court and flip through the air and slam dunk, and everybody's gonna go, wait, what?
01:09:18.000No, everyone's gonna go, ah, yeah, I've seen it.
01:09:20.000At that point, it'll be just a normal fucking thing.
01:14:01.000There's one where a dude is standing on a hill and a bale of hay is coming towards him, and this bale of hay looks like it might weigh six, seven hundred pounds, and it's huge.
01:18:36.000That's why people, they fall into these ideas and they believe them wholeheartedly.
01:18:43.000What do you know about all these new religions, like all the new cool religions where the dudes are...
01:18:48.000Like, remember, I think I talked to you about it, where, like, there's these new motivational-speak churches, where it's like, that's all it is.
01:18:55.000Yeah, I read about one recently that uses a friend of mine's synagogue, where a friend of mine goes for his service, he's Jewish, where him and his family go, these people rent it out, like, on some days.
01:20:22.000So what we're going to do is I'm going to regurgitate some Anthony Robbins quotes, and I'm going to tell you about life, and then a little bit of Jesus.
01:20:29.000I'm going to throw some Jesus in there to seem legit.
01:21:13.000You know who I find is the big, who, like, makes, now that, like, because I'm, like, buying all sorts of stuff for this puppy, the stuff I should have gotten into is, like, tricking people into needing pet stuff.
01:22:23.000Dude, you know, ever since Rusty died, his robot fuck doll has just been sitting in the garage and been hoping someone can come along and comment it.
01:22:33.000It'd be bop on more humans just for their use.
01:22:37.000That is an issue when your dog tries to hump your kids.
01:22:40.000It does become a real fucking problem.
01:24:09.000There's a lot of people that are really desperate.
01:24:11.000You know, like you think about it, the human touch, like touch from a person, is mandatory, like people need it.
01:24:16.000It's a requirement like vitamin C, and it's just a requirement that your body needs.
01:24:21.000But there's a lot of people that just don't get it.
01:24:23.000I never knew how much of a requirement it was until when I first moved to LA. When I first moved to LA, I moved from New York to LA, didn't know anyone out here, didn't have any friends, and I was on this set.
01:24:37.000I'm doing this TV show, and I was there for a couple of weeks, and I guess I hadn't hugged anybody or touched anybody in a couple of weeks.
01:24:45.000And this girl on the set gave me a hug.
01:25:27.000Yeah, that's why they say kids that don't get touched when they're young, that don't get hugged or any affection, they grow up so fucked up mentally.
01:25:33.000The part of your brain doesn't develop needing that chemical reaction.
01:25:37.000Because the transfer of chemical skin to skin, that's such a big deal for the development of your brain.
01:25:41.000So when kids don't get it, it fucking ruins them.
01:25:44.000Yeah, they say that about babies in orphanages.
01:25:47.000Babies in orphanages, they don't get handled a lot.
01:26:54.000When you go to cryo-healthcare and your legs are shaking, and you get out of there 3 minutes and 40 seconds, someone stays in there to 6, and they just become an ice cube.
01:27:08.000That's like back in the Midwest, they would send out those flyers all the time for registered gun owners to go hunt because the overpopulation of the deer was so bad that they would die or that they would try to eat each other, which is crazy.
01:27:47.000Yeah, well, California's kind of done that.
01:27:49.000California's done a weird thing, because every other state manages their predator population.
01:27:54.000California, you can bear hunt in California, but you can't do it in any effective way.
01:28:00.000What that means is, like, there's two ways that are really effective ways to hunt bears.
01:28:04.000One is over bait, so you would, like, leave some food down, and you'd wait in, like, a blind and hide, and the bear would come to get the food.
01:28:11.000Because otherwise, places where bears live, they don't live in an open country.
01:28:49.000The only other places where you can hunt bears effectively and it's not over bait are areas where there's like wide open spaces or these cut blocks.
01:29:00.000What a cut block is where a lumber company comes in and chops down a bunch of trees.
01:29:04.000And then these little roots grow up and these little tiny saplings and stuff and the bears like to come in and eat those and meadows.
01:29:10.000So people go to meadows and occasionally you'll spot a bear there.
01:29:17.000And then the other thing is with dogs.
01:29:20.000The dog one is very problematic because people don't like that look, the idea of dogs baying up a bear in a tree and then you shoot it out of a tree.
01:29:53.000But there was a ban that was put together by animal rights activists and then signed by, it was really just a few thousand people that took an email poll, and then they passed this, 75% of them.
01:30:03.000And now they're going to have a real problem with grizzly bears.
01:30:05.000Because the people that passed this, they all live in Vancouver.
01:30:13.000But those other people that live like north, you go like four hours past Vancouver and these people live in the forest, they have giant 10-foot monsters that eat cows that live in their fucking woods.
01:30:25.000And you just said, you just made it illegal to shoot the monsters.
01:30:29.000You don't even live around the monsters.
01:30:31.000You don't even know what the fuck you're doing.
01:31:11.000Everybody's like, well, leave the animals alone, they control their own population.
01:31:14.000Yes, you're correct, but it'll take 30 years.
01:31:17.000Are you willing to see this overpopulation of grizzly pears attacking wildlife, attacking people, attacking dogs, and breaking into people's houses?
01:31:26.000Because that will happen, and we're encroaching in their land, sort of, but guess what?
01:31:31.000If they find out where our food is, they're going to encroach into our land, too.
01:33:21.000I wonder why they called it the X-Bear.
01:33:23.000Okay, so it was out in Lebec, because it's now Fort Tejon, which is a fort off of the Five.
01:33:33.000At the time, it says it's just the wilds of the Tehachapi Mountains, which, by the way, is the exact same area from There Will Be Blood, where Daniel Day-Lewis, that movie, There Will Be Blood, that's where they scored oil.
01:33:57.000Leading a government expedition and passed through Santa Clarita in 1853 as a part of an effort to find a practical route for a transcontinental railroad.
01:34:18.000It says, party led by Fitzgerald Beal, Lieutenant Edward Fitzgerald Beal, Commissioner of the Indian Affairs at the time, found the Lebec tree, a tree in 1854. Okay, so it's a tree where they, like, had something that they left to mark it.
01:34:32.000It says, by 1890, the tree bark had grown over and covered the Lebec inscription.
01:34:37.000Yeah, so there was a tree that had written on it.
01:34:43.000The remains of a man, approximately six feet tall, who was missing his right forearm, both feet, and his left hand, along with two broken ribs on the left side, all consistent with a gruesome bear attack.
01:35:38.000They're starting to find them in Colorado.
01:35:40.000In fact, my friend Adam Greentree, the guy who shot that bull up there, that giant buffalo, that water buffalo on the top of the flag, that dude...
01:35:50.000Spotted and filmed them in, I think, the San Juan Mountains.
01:37:58.000He had a gun, but the gun had the wrong size bullet, and he didn't even know it, but it was jammed.
01:38:06.000So even though he thinks that he would be able to shoot that bear, he really wouldn't be able to because the bullet isn't even in the fucking chamber.
01:41:47.000When you're down to that point, like if you're in one of them situations like the movie where they crash in the Andes, when do you start eating people?
01:41:57.000Do you look for the place where you jump off first?
01:42:01.000Once you get to the point where you're thinking about eating each other...
01:45:32.000Even on airplane mode, still sending and receiving data.
01:45:34.000Well, I knew this lady used to work for CNN, and when she would go to places, if you had an iPhone, like she would go to these Middle Eastern places to have to talk to people and interview them, they would take your phone away if you had an iPhone.
01:45:45.000If you had an Android phone, they'd take the battery out in the olden days.
01:46:12.000It's like, first of all, you could always, if you have important phone calls, all you have to do is just leave the room.
01:46:16.000The phone will ring, you leave the room, you open the pouch, once you get out of the room, you can come back in, put it back in the pouch, you come back in.
01:46:23.000So wait, the pouches are not with them, though?
01:46:55.000See, what the thing is that's good about the pouch is that if you really, like, if there's some critical issue that you think could come up, you know your phone's ringing, like, okay, I'm gonna leave the room.
01:47:04.000But then it gives people incentive to still have their phone on to ring.
01:47:49.000Everywhere you go, they have their phone up filming everything.
01:47:51.000They want to film everything, they want to take pictures of everything, and it's a distraction.
01:47:54.000I just want to go see a friend of a friend play, you know, like a band and...
01:47:59.000Even at like small nonsense venues, people still have their phone.
01:48:02.000I'm not talking like, you know, it's like fucking, you know, a massively famous, like Bruno Mars, like every kid I'm sure is like, the whole time.
01:48:38.000Comedy is one of the weird art forms because you have to practice it in front of other people, right?
01:48:43.000You could write it alone, but you really don't know how it goes together until you try it in front of other people and Out of all the bits that you have how many of them start off and they eat dick most Almost all of them.
01:48:56.000There's like one or two that you do that you right away that hits and you're like, all right, fuck yeah, all right, that's good.
01:49:00.000So many of them start desperately bad and try to figure out how to make them work.
01:49:03.000I know there's something there somewhere.
01:49:34.000Like, what's wrong with me then and right with me now?
01:49:37.000Something about the rhythm of the way you even thought about it.
01:49:39.000Like, I think sometimes when I get an idea of a joke and the rhythm of the joke I can't even find, like, I'm like, I don't even know why.
01:49:45.000I just kind of like the idea of that for some reason.
01:49:47.000And then a year or two later you're like, Something else usually happens that goes that's just like when I felt blank and then these things kind of like mesh together.
01:50:15.000Because in his head, he knows why that's funny.
01:50:18.000He knows why that's funny, and then he tells it to you in the way that it's going on in his head, and you start fucking howling.
01:50:24.000But if you're not totally sure if it's funny, which you usually aren't when you're trying something out on stage, they can kind of tell that you're not totally sure it's funny.
01:50:34.000So if someone films that and then puts it on YouTube, that's not good.
01:50:38.000Like, say maybe I'm an Andrew Santino fan, and I go, ah, his new bits kind of suck.
01:50:41.000Like, no, you haven't really seen him.
01:51:02.000I would say most people are just a fan.
01:51:04.000They just want to have that little piece.
01:51:06.000But I just think there's always fucking people that are up to no good.
01:51:08.000Well, there's always people that are just, first of all, there's people that if you're a performer and they're not a performer, they don't give a fuck.
01:52:03.000Like, if you were just standing by, talking to your friend, and both of you were insurance salesmen, and a guy came up and put a phone in your face, you'd be like, who the fuck is this guy?
01:52:12.000I'm insured by State Farm, so I get to do this.
01:53:23.000You can look like a fucking idiot no matter what.
01:53:26.000Like, someone got Anthony Bourdain at the airport, and they said, if you were gonna cook dinner for Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un, what would you serve?
01:56:27.000But I think it all helped in together.
01:56:30.000I'm just saying, I bet you the Harvey thing wouldn't have been so real had Hillary gotten in.
01:56:35.000Because all the liberals that condemned all the liberals, like all the liberals that called out people like Harvey and everyone in our business, They would have been so gleeful of this Hillary thing.
01:56:43.000I think that would have still been like, well, we'll cover it up like we've been doing for the past.
01:59:19.000I think unless the Democrats can pull something together in the next year and a half, two years, there's someone that actually is like a formidable component.
01:59:24.000Well, my activism is going to prevent that.
01:59:33.000Look, if he's smart, and he clearly is a very clever man, if he's a clever man, it's entirely possible that he's got one round in the chamber for right around six to eight weeks out before the election.
01:59:49.000One thing where he lets something happen, or shit goes down, and he has the perfect solution to put out that fire.
02:02:02.000I think like our friends do, but I think the majority of the other countries that don't give a shit about us are like, that guy's great.
02:02:09.000I think our friendly countries, you know, like England, I'm sure is like, he's a nuisance, you know, but I think countries that don't give a fuck about us are like, that guy's hilarious, that guy's a weirdo.
02:03:02.000Some crazy dictator in Venezuela or some shit could send a missile at some other dude and fuck him up, and they're like, oh, bitch, is that what we're doing now?
02:03:10.000And then we back this company, and then the Russians back the other guys, and next thing you know, old Jed's a millionaire, and we're in a fucking war.
02:04:01.000That's like after-school fistfights of like, meet you in the secret garden, dude, I'm gonna fuck you up, you know, and you'd wait all day, people'd be talking about it, like you heard about the fight.
02:04:57.000I started reading a lot of things about it.
02:04:59.000What I read was that part of it Is being hijacked by white artists that don't like the people that own the gallery.
02:05:08.000So they get on the side of the people that want no gentrification and they sabotage the gallery because they have a personal feud with the guy who owns the gallery.
02:08:05.000You probably never develop real asshole tendencies because you'd be so intimidated that someone in the middle of a rant would just pull your pants down.
02:08:40.000This whole, like, gravitating towards one gender, specifically just because they have a vagina, or specifically just because they have a penis, is equally stupid.
02:11:58.000For whatever reason, if you have a future is female t-shirt on, you don't see it that way because you are just in support of feminism, in support of equal rights, in support of women doing powerful things, and you think, this is a step in the right direction.
02:13:50.000Yeah, I know this girl was getting this big tattoo on her back removed.
02:13:55.000And she was at the beach, and her whole back was like, her lower back was this big red thing.
02:14:01.000It was like, it was halfway done, and she had just gotten a recent, like she had to put sunscreen all over it, because it couldn't hit the sun.
02:14:38.000Yeah, I saw one the other day that was just like, she was going over the skin and it was not, didn't seem like it was harming the untattooed skin.
02:26:57.000Although they did tell a bunch of people that I was coming and I wasn't coming and then people got mad at me and like, hey, hey, hey, I didn't fucking say I was coming.
02:28:39.000That's why when you go somewhere small, most of the time they appreciate it more because they're like, dude, no one ever comes through here.
02:31:12.000See, I'm at a level where I'm still hustling through places that are just...
02:31:16.000You know, I'm having fun for a lot of places, but some places I'm just like, the crowds are not that good, I don't draw enough people, so it's hard.
02:31:24.000I think Burr talked about it, I don't know if he talked about it here, but he said like, killing to the abyss.
02:31:29.000He's like, there's a part in your career when you're killing to the abyss.
02:31:32.000When you're kind of like, you know you are a professional, you've had accolades in the game, you've done well enough, but your fan base isn't huge enough to where you have a big following, so when you go somewhere, you crush and you'll hear afterwards someone go...
02:31:45.000You know, I've never even heard of you, and you're one of our favorite comics now.
02:32:17.000And the good thing is the places that I have built audiences that I love, like Denver, when I go back to Comedy Works, I can sell that place out because I've built an audience.
02:32:26.000If I build audiences in places that really love me, that's the best part about going to places where I'm like...
02:32:31.000You know, they just show me so much love there that you're like, God, that's what it is.
02:32:36.000Yeah, and you have to think of, like, if you're in a place like Denver, how many of those people that come to see you are actually going to leave comments or tweet at you, and how many of them are just going to enjoy it?
02:32:45.000Because most of the time when I go to see somebody, I just enjoy them.
02:33:07.000It's like 300 seats, you're doing 1,200 in two days, and then you're going back again, doing another 1,200.
02:33:13.000They'll tell their friends, people come back, tickets go quicker next time, and then a year later.
02:33:17.000I mean, that's the key to building the road.
02:33:20.000To this day, there's places where I sell out way in advance, and there's other places where I really haven't been going that often, and it's more of a difficulty to sell tickets.
02:34:45.000This one club went under, and the whole scene took a big hit.
02:34:49.000Apparently the scene's bouncing back now, and there's a lot more comics now in Houston.
02:34:54.000But dude, when I used to work there in the 90s, you would go there and these opening acts, these guys who were working there would be fucking killers.
02:36:33.000Yeah, there's a few like that that are building so strong right now.
02:36:35.000I think my only fear for the future is there's a lot of new clubs that pop up and a lot of clubs that have gone so corporatized that they're all the same, that I'm still a club guy, so for me, I don't get to play theaters, you know?
02:39:54.000But otherwise, when I get back on the road at the end of May, the first dates I'll be doing, I go up to Alberta, where we were talking about.
02:40:01.000I go to Edmonton, so I'll be in Edmonton the end of May.
02:40:04.000So look on that Edmonton calendar, and I'll be up there.
02:43:01.000Yeah, it's just, I feel like there's a larger concentration of guineas in like the New York, New Jersey area, and in Boston it was more of a concentration of Irish.
02:44:02.000I think I moved there in, it must have been like 79. 79, and then I went to high school there in 81. That was my first year in high school.
02:45:49.000Yeah, I went to public school, I went to Newton South, and when we were in high school, we would get out and we would meet girls that were coming off of the Catholic girls' school.
02:46:30.000She wasn't a bad person, but she was always horny, and it took me years to figure out what was going on.
02:46:37.000It was something that I really considered in a very strange way.
02:46:41.000It really puzzled me because I had these preconceived notions about how women behave, but these Catholic school girls threw a giant monkey wrench into this notion like, okay, That makes sense for the regular girls.
02:46:53.000Regular girls, they might let you know.
02:49:34.000Yeah, and there's a thing that people, like someone was saying the other day that porn addiction is real and porn is fucked up because it ruins the way guys think and like...
02:49:41.000Maybe some guys, but isn't that the same as with gambling?
02:49:46.000Like isn't gambling really bad for some guys?
02:50:30.000But I don't have a problem with gambling.
02:50:32.000So if I go to Vegas, and I don't bet on anything, but I used to bet on fights.
02:50:37.000So maybe if I'm in Vegas and just for a fucking goof, Canelo Alvarez is going to fight Gennady Golovkin, and I get to the sports book a day before the fight, I'm like, yeah, I'll put a fucking couple hundred bucks on this.
02:50:58.000It doesn't mean that I shouldn't be able to go gamble.
02:51:00.000It's just like the same thing as if I'm in a hotel room and I want to jerk off, I don't want to hear your bullshit about somebody who's addicted to it and it ruins their life.
02:51:34.000If you can't take a punch, don't get into boxing.
02:51:36.000If you watch one porn film, and next thing you know, five hours later, you're dehydrated, you haven't left the room, your dick is raw, your fucking hands are tired, you've got a tennis elbow.
02:54:16.000That the United States has that big of a market, and the rest of the world is just four or five points.
02:54:20.000I'll tell you why that's wrong, because Ian Edwards was just somewhere that was saying how the international market now has almost matched.
02:54:27.000Ian's working on a Netflix show, and their international markets almost match North America now.
02:55:21.000If someone was trying to say that, they were like, oh, you know, they're only going after, I forget what term he used, like either hipsters or they're going after, you know, diversity.
02:55:31.000Like, they're not going to give it to a white guy.
02:55:33.000I'm like, John Mulaney just got a special.
02:55:45.000The way it always used to be, and this is the problem, is there's no real valid entry-level show.
02:55:51.000So, what it used to be is, you would get on, like, Young Comedian Special on HBO. And then there would be like four of you, everybody would do 15 minutes or so, and then that's how you'd make it.
02:56:04.000And then there was the Rodney Dangerfield specials, and that's how we found out about Lenny Clark and Dom Herrera, Bill Hicks, Sam Kinison, Dice Clay, they all came out of the Rodney Dangerfield specials.
02:56:14.000There's not a thing like that anymore.
02:56:16.000So you had to go through those things before you got a special.
02:56:19.000Now, it's like you just kind of get specials.
02:58:39.000Market cap is closing in on $1 trillion.
02:58:42.000If you had a trillion dollars, you could literally buy every single NFL, NBA, and MLS team, Ford, NASA, and 100,000 Teslas and still have money left over.
03:01:14.000But like that's my thing is like you know like that the future of SoundCloud thing like that is because it's it's all everybody loves DIY shit whether it's musicians or like all those musicians and artists now that are on Spotify it's all people like making music in their fucking in their house yeah fucking YouTube you know I mean how many YouTube millionaires have been made from a lot so many weird shit Like putting up videos,
03:01:40.000Like I used to do a YouTube sketch thing a long time ago and it like caught fire a little bit on a very small scale and the people that we kind of associated with when it was starting to grow, two or three of them now that I know have made so much money from that.
03:01:53.000And they were just from the jump, they were kind of like in right as the cusp was like beginning, you know?
03:01:57.000What happens with that dude who got in trouble with the suicide?
03:02:52.000Well, it's also, it doesn't suggest things, their algorithm that YouTube has figured out to having what's next on the right-hand side, it's like so attractive.
03:06:57.000This is what happens when you take LSD and marijuana out of the market.
03:07:01.000As soon as you make it illegal, really bad, and make these fucking people terrified for their lives, no one does drugs, and everybody just falls into this kind of shit.