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00:05:32.000All right, folks, I got two guys today on the podcast.
00:05:35.000Two ridiculously aggressive, hilarious guys, Owen Benjamin and Kurt Metzger.
00:05:41.000Both very good stand-up comics, both that have had some very controversial moments on the internet.
00:05:47.000And I just thought it'd be funny to have the two of them together to talk about the consequences of getting the people all riled up online.
00:05:58.000Either way, very funny guys, very good guys.
00:06:00.000Please give it up for Kurt Metzger and Owen Benjamin.
00:09:42.000Yeah, there's people that just, they're working their life out, but say if they're on like a hundred level game, they're on level one and they're bouncing into the walls over and over again.
00:09:54.000And they just don't seem like, in order for you to give them real advice, you'd have to basically move into their house.
00:12:23.000They could believe that you were alt-right.
00:12:25.000But if someone tells them and they read one of your outrageous tweets, just one or two of them, they would go, oh, this guy's an alt-right comedian.
00:12:33.000And then they see you with certain people that you've had podcasts with and talked to that might also be lumped in.
00:12:38.000I mean, ridiculously so, like Jordan Peterson.
00:12:40.000They lump him into doesn't make any sense, but they do it.
00:12:44.000Like, I mean, look, I've had people on that people think are alt-right.
00:13:12.000You got to think, that guy growing up in the 1950s and then being into the 60s as the most important civil rights activist of all time, he was dealing with a completely different world, man.
00:14:21.000And there's way more crazy people, and now they all have internet access.
00:14:24.000Yeah, because I was looking at this thing where they were trying to trace, you've heard about that new species of human that they found, I think around somewhere in the range of seven or eight years ago.
00:14:51.000But what the thing that fucking freaked me out, they were talking about how long ago this was, like 70,000 plus years ago, that they were talking about one era.
00:15:00.000And then they were talking about the amount of people that were alive then.
00:15:02.000And they said something around the area of 100,000 humans.
00:17:01.000You're talking about him getting lipo suction, talking about him being gay, and you're talking about, you said a bunch of different things.
00:17:07.000No, but that's after he said I was altruist.
00:17:09.000In response, he said that I'm an alt-right third-rate piano comic.
00:17:13.000And I was like, dude, I just did a lipo-suction joke.
00:17:17.000But the thing is, I'm not even mad at the guy at all.
00:17:20.000I want then, you, again, do a terrible job of representing yourself.
00:17:59.000Like this idea that you should automatically blurt out what you think about someone's public mistakes to the rest of the world to state your position.
00:18:08.000Like there was a lot of the request to state your position after Louis C.K. got in trouble.
00:18:32.000And I've heard stories about people thinking it was funny, too.
00:18:35.000You know, there was like this weird thing going on.
00:18:37.000The tribal stuff, where it's like, what side are you on?
00:18:41.000But people were like, the Louis C.K. instance was the first instance that I can recall where people were demanding a response, like a public response about something.
00:18:49.000Well, I noticed that in entertainment with Trump, it's like the lack of talking about Trump is now seen as endorsements.
00:18:55.000Like when Taylor Swift just didn't get involved in the chaos, people were calling her like alt-right.
00:19:01.000Yeah, man, there's so many people just waiting, waiting to pull the trigger.
00:19:07.000And they're doing so in such a fucking insane and ridiculously misrepresentative way.
00:19:13.000There was something about Jordan Peterson, man.
00:19:15.000Jordan Peterson going to speak somewhere.
00:19:19.000And there was these people sending emails that he was a Nazi and a fascist and a racist and transphobic.
00:19:26.000But they're just hurling these nuclear bombs of words with literally no thought whatsoever about the consequences of using these words to describe someone who's absolutely clearly not that.
00:19:40.000It's when someone can't argue another side, that's how they shut down the conversation.
00:22:06.000It's got a lot of ticks that have lime.
00:22:09.000Well, it gets too cold in the winter to really have that, but it just started coming a little bit because it's like negative 40 where I live in the winter.
00:23:52.000If a dude that was wearing shorts like that came up to you and started talking to you in a men's room, you'd go, hey, buddy, let me get past you and get through that door.
00:29:17.000They're numbing your shit up, and they're going in with a goddamn pipe that's got a vacuum attached to it, and they're roughing you up and sucking chunks of yourself.
00:29:25.000You have to do a joke about that, about how violent it was.
00:29:31.000It probably doesn't work because you don't change your habits either.
00:29:33.000Well, it did work, but listen, you're going to get fat again.
00:29:36.000Like, it'll make you look good for a little bit, but if you don't change how you eat, you're in your static state right now where you're at.
00:29:45.000Most people, if they're overweight, they're getting more overweight.
00:29:48.000They're not steady at whatever the fuck it is, 50 pounds over.
00:29:52.000They keep going because it's the same pattern of behavior.
00:29:55.000So if you get yourself sucked down, and I know people have done this, got yourself sucked down with the vacuum down to a good, legitimate size, they just balloon back up.
00:30:04.000And a lot of times there's a lot of unevenness.
00:30:07.000Yeah, I heard people get fat in weird places because they took out like a little out right around the wiener.
00:30:12.000I feel like I got a quarter inch in there that isn't being moved.
00:32:12.000I don't know her that well, but I remember her friends saying how much extreme discomfort she was in because she had to wear essentially like this, these tights.
00:35:36.000Because you're talking about that chilling procedure, but I was on some JB Smoothie said this dinner show where it'd be like a couple athletes and a couple comics.
00:37:31.000Listen, I think it's important to talk about patriarchy because I feel that young 20-year-old women need their own Illuminati to talk about, you know?
00:40:00.000I'm talking about most people that they're going to, when a woman goes on stage and does stand-up, most people that are going to be in the audience, there's men that are just not going to want to hear you talk about politics.
00:40:09.000There's men that are not going to want to hear you talk about sex.
00:42:00.000You know, I like the Writers Guild, but...
00:42:20.000Outside of that, your job is what you choose to do with your life.
00:42:23.000When boys grow up playing with fucking trucks and superheroes, and girls grow up playing with dolls, and they obviously are more inclined in this direction, and men are more inclined in that direction, that we expect them to meet at any interest, and that we would force it?
00:42:49.000Instead of just doing what they actually enjoy doing.
00:42:51.000Well, I mean, you know, it's funny when I was a camera, my mom wanted to work, and she got a job, and then she was mad because she wanted to stop working.
00:43:55.000I just paid them to rent it, like, the area, and I sold it out myself, and then they would just cancel saying that I do hate speech or something.
00:45:10.000Like, Hollywood can have people being like, oh, no, this is great.
00:45:13.000But it is in other colleges, and, like, all of college kids write me that they have to sign a white privilege contract at, like, their college.
00:45:23.000It means they acknowledge their white privilege.
00:45:25.000privilege which is basically i don't know something that happens usually before genocide or whatnot but wait but you acknowledge your white privilege it means that you have it easier.
00:45:34.000Well, they're giving kids in certain schools, they're giving kids lectures on gender and that how some people are gender fluid, meaning that they can switch back and forth from male to female at any time.
00:45:43.000Like at what point in time do we go, okay, maybe that's true, but what's the odds that that's nonsense?
00:45:53.000I mean, it might be someone with some sort of a psychological disorder where they do bounce back and forth between being a man and a woman.
00:46:00.000But at what point in time can we recognize that this is a psychological disorder?
00:46:03.000And this is just not a natural state of being, like having red hair.
00:46:06.000By the way, also, I don't give a shit.
00:46:07.000I know, it's not a reality thing, man.
00:49:03.000They're clergy of this jihadi shit, and they're always on Patreon with a handout who help me go to schools and tell kids about fucking, you know.
00:49:14.000They got to make problems where there aren't any problems.
00:49:17.000But I think it's because of our instinct to run away from a lion is stronger than towards a banana.
00:49:22.000Let me offer an alternative point of view.
00:49:24.000Think about how often you get into bullshit arguments online and you're a successful comedian who's married with children.
00:49:30.000Now, think of yourself as being 20 years old at college, talking shit, writing a blog, whatever, decided you're going to take down all these monsters.
00:50:10.000And in some jobs, you do have to do it.
00:50:12.000But you should probably think about what the fuck you want to do with your life ultimately before you do it.
00:50:18.000I don't think it's a bad idea to travel overseas, to experience some things, take some jobs, and then get some life experiences that, you know what, I'm leaning towards being a this.
00:51:12.000Jordan Peterson tweeted real recently.
00:51:14.000It was a HuffPost editor that was talking about her ultimate goal of getting more contributions being white or less contributions being white, more contributions by people of color and women.
00:51:26.000And she had like this whole breakdown in numbers, like the numbers that they've achieved of how they're still working on it of getting rid of the white voice.
00:51:35.000Just be the white woman's work that he's never done.
00:51:40.000'Cause I don't know any black people, by the way, Dude, I can't think of a single black person in my life that has ever demanded I say any of it or agree or this news.
00:52:07.000But they're trying to say that your dick doesn't matter, though.
00:52:09.000With the racism, I can't even believe it's at a point where people with a straight face push segregation under the guise of anti-you know what I mean?
00:53:42.000So when you were under that truck, so when you were in that accident, did you contemplate like, oh my God, I might be going to heaven or I might be going to hell?
00:55:16.000But she said, like, people were walking up and like thanking her for like, you know, picking up trash with an orange vest because people just skip out on it.
00:55:23.000And once you do the service, they wipe it from your record.
00:55:25.000Basically, it's like you just got caught.
00:55:27.000You're offered a way back where you don't have it on your record.
00:55:43.000These people have created a religion where they catch you in some minor mistake and they throw you to your banished Kramer Island or whatever.
00:56:36.000I mean, it's like what you experience as a Jehovah Witness is the same thing.
00:56:41.000We were talking before you got here about them trying to cancel Jordan Peterson speeches, and these people were sending these emails, and professors were sending emails calling him a racist and a Nazi and saying he's a fascist and all these different things.
00:56:54.000And what I'm saying is that when you ramp up the fake reality to the point where you're saying things you know aren't true.
00:57:02.000You think you're doing it for the right reason.
00:57:26.000Well, it's just, look, this is why I think that it'll just burn itself out eventually because you can't keep throwing, they throw people, they throw all their people away.
00:57:47.000And Jamie was always like, I think I talked like a while ago, I talked about, but it was like, you know, he was always a dude that felt small.
00:57:54.000I always got the impression his girlfriend made up most of most of most of him when I knew him.
00:57:59.000That he met this girl he was married to and she put all that shit.
00:58:14.000Like, how do you, for yourself, like, how do you like make all, and he's telling me all his personal experience, like, some shit I won't share, but like he can, but it sounded like being in a fucking religion.
00:58:24.000And like, when it went, like, there's purity tests.
00:58:55.000So the reason they got to crack down on bullshit like comedy or whatever the fuck or your Facebook or who give if you give a shit about something somebody tweeted, I mean, you must be fucking stupid, but that's all of America.
00:59:17.000So a lot of these same people have been all year have been trying to convince everyone that Donald Trump's being run by the Russians and he's Adolf Hitler.
00:59:26.000And then the government should have all your guns.
00:59:30.000It's the same with being pro-free market, but not acknowledging.
00:59:40.000He's the perfect, first of all, the perfect president of America.
00:59:43.000This is, there's never been, and I mean for whatever party you're in, he is your avatar, man.
00:59:49.000He is the fucking, like everybody that can't thinks they can do a job that they can't do, but they saw something on TV, like, I could probably do that better.
00:59:57.000Like, it's high time we didn't have an expert, just a guy like me.
01:00:02.000Like, he's the candidate of the volunteer fireman, of the gender studies professor, of the fucking, the, the vine star that became a comedian.
01:00:11.000Like, all these people that like think they could just walk into some fucking, he is that.
01:01:57.000But in modern times, they did some very evil shit with them.
01:01:59.000But the blood quantum, that was what they're kind of cool about the most Native nations is they didn't get hung up on your amount of blood.
01:02:08.000When you're in the family, so you could be one.
01:02:09.000Like Johnny Depp, when he said he got brought in the tribe so he could play Tonto, that's a legit thing traditionally in Native America.
01:02:17.000They were much cooler about racial shit.
01:02:19.000Like Europeans kind of brought that nonsense over more.
01:02:24.000They used to kidnap people and people would stay with them.
01:02:27.000The Sebastian Younger is a better vibe.
01:02:29.000The Sebastian Younger book detailed how many people would leave Western society and join the Native Americans.
01:02:35.000Yeah, I didn't know how much it was like separate countries.
01:02:38.000See, if they teach American history, that's what they should start at the very first, whatever countries were here, and then just move up through America because it's thousands of years of shit.
01:03:48.000Like five miles away, there's a bunch of totally different names, and those people stick to themselves, and these people stick to theirselves.
01:03:53.000So there are these like bands of them, hundreds of them, all over the place.
01:03:57.000And all these different languages are all, they're losing all of them.
01:04:01.000They're going to lose all these languages if these people get assimilated because they're not really written down in a lot of cases.
01:04:29.000But so this old, there's one of this old ass lady who knew something about like the word, and it was like, well, she's like, they come from animal noises.
01:06:33.000Do you know how many people in the last two weeks, and I mean, having conversations about dire shit in their lives, or like so-and-so unfollowed me on Instagram, and it was weighing on them?
01:06:45.000How come you don't follow me on something?
01:06:47.000And I'm like, dude, the greatest thing, that media shit storm, man, because I feel like I did everything you can do on social media by having that happen.
01:06:54.000I got to the limits of social media for myself.
01:07:40.000It didn't even occur to me, dude, how much like...
01:07:43.000Like, like, people that shouldn't even be allowed to make fucking eye contact with me that I'm having discourses with and shit online.
01:07:50.000You shouldn't be allowed to find contact with me.
01:07:51.000No, like, I mean, just the, because you're getting your head.
01:07:54.000Dude, I had people like threatening crazy.
01:07:57.000Whatever the shit you hear some fucking college speaker complain about, 10 times over I had coming at me from, I'm going to rape and murder your niece.
01:08:06.000Well, it's explained for most people that don't know what to do.
01:08:09.000I did a terrible thing where I said, hey, if you get raped, maybe go to the cops on the way to posting it on Facebook that UCB has determined guilt in a rape case.
01:11:00.000I mean, you know, obviously I can't say one or the other, but looking back, I think what he told me is a lie, that people were accusing him because he didn't book them on his show, which just doesn't really make a lot of sense.
01:11:10.000Comedy women were that quick to pull the trigger on a rape accusation.
01:11:14.000You look at how evil they would have to be.
01:11:40.000You have to be convicted before you're allowed to say that, like, legally.
01:11:44.000But to me, it's not, I mean, it's like they're taking the campus thing of like where we're going to have a college campus kick you out of school for that rape you committed.
01:11:52.000Dude, what you said was undeniably hard.
01:13:06.000In fact, I know women that get dudes into fights over shit like that, especially if you're in like white trash town where I grew up around.
01:13:12.000Like, women are the ones that don't believe other women.
01:13:15.000Men are the only people stupid enough to believe women most of the time.
01:13:18.000Okay, so that's already a bullshit thing that women aren't believed.
01:14:26.000We've clear double standards as of like when we'll just believe you and when will be super scammed.
01:14:32.000You know, Barry, Barry Crimmons, like, because he, you know, if you haven't seen that documentary, anybody listening, Call Me Lucky is really great.
01:14:39.000So I, because he, because that guy's kind of heroic, what he did with AOL.
01:14:43.000He basically, he was raped when he was four, which, I mean, that's crazy what that would do to somebody.
01:14:49.000And he, I think he talked about it on stage first or something.
01:14:52.000And he ended up, when the internet was first becoming a nationwide thing, he was, there was child pornography everywhere.
01:15:00.000Like pedophiles would buy AOL by the hour if you were rich, and you could just freely trade child pornography.
01:15:06.000So he had to testify before Congress, the Senate, and AOL had a lawyer there because they didn't want to change their policy, which was three strikes and you're out for child pornography.
01:15:16.000They actually, with a straight face, like we have a firm three strikes and you're out policy.
01:15:20.000Isn't that crazy that that was only like 1995 or 96 or something like that, wasn't it?
01:15:24.000Dude, it's one of the best parts of the documentary because Barry's like, well, he told me is like the guy says three strikes you're out and goes, yeah, listen, I love baseball too, but I love baseball more than anybody.
01:15:34.000But the senators and congressmen were tripping over themselves in a manly display of being ignorant of technology or something.
01:15:42.000Barry really is like a quotable dude, like the shit says, but they go, well, I don't know what all this internet is.
01:15:50.000Like some of them didn't know where the fuck they were.
01:15:52.000Robert Byrd is just like with the scourge of pornography.
01:15:55.000We're here for the scourge of pornography.
01:15:58.000And at one point in the doc, he was talking about how it was almost like the other lawyer against him and it was who had better stage presence.
01:16:40.000So he called me up and you have to realize a lot of this shit because he did real work helping people who rape victims, kids who were abilitable.
01:17:58.000They want to make a name for themselves, Baiting you into doing something to get you in trouble.
01:18:02.000And they will fucking fuck with you with shit you can't believe you'd be in trouble for saying, such as go to the police and not fucking Facebook if you're raped.
01:18:10.000So this woman called me in the thick of it.
01:23:12.000See, the late-term abortion is fucking gross.
01:23:14.000And I understand if it's some miserable fucking defect, fine.
01:23:19.000But if you look at the numbers, and it's very hard to get accurate abortion numbers because it's so politicized, the late-term abortions are not, as I would have thought, because of deformities.
01:23:27.000It's a lot of times they either didn't know they were pregnant or just hit, like, it's kind of shitty.
01:24:16.000Yeah, because you're supposed to bring more life in.
01:24:18.000So at least your teaching is consistent.
01:24:21.000I can't stand these people that are like, no, if you want to have your right-wing, no social welfare state, do you're going to have to fucking allow abortion?
01:24:29.000Because you're going to have To help take care of these fucking kids.
01:24:47.000But, okay, what's the difference between that and some woman in New York, the collateral damage of on the way to her career, she doesn't want to have a baby?
01:24:54.000If you accept that, us dropping bombs on somebody's fucking pregnant wife and killing their unborn baby because it's convenient for us, then shut the fuck up about someone getting an abortion here because you're a hypocrite.
01:27:32.000And he was saying he was battling against it very early on.
01:27:37.000And almost everything he said would happen is happening now in terms of this overreaction culture.
01:27:43.000Well, how come, by the way, how come that's, remember Jamie Kilstein had, I kept asking him about it, that white boy blues song he did on MSN?
01:27:51.000And he goes, I don't know what cis means.
01:27:53.000And I go, Jamie, I know you got to put everything on the white males now.
01:27:57.000But do you honestly believe anyone outside of a young white male knows what the fuck cis means?
01:28:02.000Like when I used to live in Washington Heights in New York, I want you to go out and talk to any Dominicans on the corner and go, do you know you're a cis male, right?
01:28:08.000And ask them if they know what the fuck that means.
01:28:52.000And if you don't hate yourself, They all did different things to try to ruin your life.
01:29:03.000Like there'd be people posing, the alt-right guys like to be a fake you and then go to people that you kind of know.
01:29:09.000Like John Daly, who I'm like, I know him, but I don't know him where it's like, and then as you say some fucked up shit, and then they think, like, that's Daley.
01:32:50.000Look, I don't give a shit about it, by the way.
01:32:52.000But if they see the evidence, you have to be real clear.
01:32:57.000I was non-confrontational when you're handling something like that.
01:33:01.000Dude, I won't, first of all, number one, the larger issue is I never should be on social media talking to any of these fucks at all, explaining it.
01:33:07.000I don't owe any of you, anybody listening, if you have a question or a judgment, I don't owe you an explanation for shit.
01:34:47.000What I'm saying, though, is like as a person who's a fan of comedy, like, and I am a fan of comedy, when I see, like, if I was never a stand-up and I saw this all going down and I was a Kurt Metzger fan, I would want Kurt Metzger to explain to me what happened.
01:35:05.000I would want your specific words on this because you were a writer over there.
01:35:10.000So like as a fan, I would want to know, I think Kurt Metzger is a hilarious, creative comedian.
01:40:37.000Yeah, I think the black ones probably evolved to be more successful hunting at night because you can't see a goddamn thing at night in the jungle.
01:40:46.000You don't know what black is, I would imagine.
01:42:01.000But then his other part of his power is they have this shit they make from flowers and he lays down and they I swear to God they give him a purple drink.
01:43:06.000Well, she sees him beat the fuck out of some dudes in a bar and realizes that he's one of them and that she's been, she's a mutant and he's a mutant.
01:43:13.000They get together and mutant sex and fucked up the bed.
01:46:40.000Like, when you're just trying to, like, say a bunch of shit and memorize it and say it real fast, and then to get a big applause at the end, like, that's...
01:46:49.000I was like, dude, I'm not trying to change policy.
01:47:14.000And then the nine, like, I remember when Def Jam came out, and I remember it was like a lot, and also racially a lot of shit seemed more segregated.
01:47:21.000And it was like, I think the beginning of just marketing to specific, you know what I mean?
01:47:27.000And they had jokes on Seinfeld about it, like that Seinfeld's market was being eaten away with Def Jam, his mother saying it to him.
01:47:34.000And I didn't think of that, but that was the beginning.
01:47:36.000So the internet now, it's like everybody can get just specifically, you know, I liked how it was like kind of grab bag when I'd watch stand-up.
01:47:43.000It would be like you'd see like a ventriloquist.
01:47:46.000You'd see like, you know, Eddie Murphy kind of person and like some fucking real dry person.
01:48:07.000But I think because also a lot of us, you know, if you're going to put out a special, it takes you a couple fucking years or a year solid to have the material locked down and ready to rock and roll.
01:48:53.000And so if you were doing something like that, you could do that, like, get a, prepare a set over like three or four months and have, hey, you know, we're going to be filming.
01:49:10.000You know, I do that with White Precious.
01:49:12.000I couldn't, I didn't have a booking agent for the road.
01:49:14.000Like I had switched managers and the stage is like, we can't take him until he fucking does the hour.
01:49:20.000But I'm like, I need to work the hour out.
01:49:22.000So I had to do it in 15-minute chunks around the city and just do a lot of city spots.
01:49:27.000Which is, I'm happy with how it came out, but I mean, it was so fucking nerve-wracking because I'm like, I know I'm not preparing this properly.
01:51:04.000Why do you think it's designed to make it?
01:51:06.000Because they're like, so Hulk Hogan, basically, because Gawker, this is how the news media, like that despicable shit they did to Louie and the New York Times, which shouldn't.
01:51:15.000The New York Times is now a fat girl's diary, basically.
01:51:17.000Like, they never should have been allowed.
01:52:10.000If you have a producer, come to my room.
01:52:11.000They're like, hey, but another comedian at a festival, it's reasonable to think you might be fucking because you're not on a different, at the power level, we're comedians.
01:52:20.000We don't work for a corporation together.
01:52:22.000Okay, we're each an independent company, and the companies can fuck with each other also.
01:52:26.000So do you think that what it was is just a weird thing that he liked to do and what they made it out to be is like a surprise.
01:52:32.000They made it look like he's a fucking predator and there was no such anything.
01:52:38.000He never surprised people, jerking off.
01:52:40.000Now, I'm going off what Louie told me.
01:52:41.000And by the way, I believe Louie, by the way.
01:54:00.000So all this nonsense that everybody put out of him surprise whacking off, that's not even in there, okay?
01:54:06.000Like, the first one is the guitar duo that people thought were Garfunkel and Oates because all these young kids can't imagine anything happening before.
01:55:23.000We now have to take all these unfunny people, okay, for political reasons, and you can't have evidence of someone being funny that fits in the wrong group.
01:56:08.000What you're saying is true, and that's true.
01:56:11.000But the idea that another comedian, because back when this happened at Aspen, Louis was not a fucking, he was a comedian who was a few more years ahead than these two girls that were also comedians.
01:56:21.000I've been at festivals and had sex with comedians.
01:57:10.000Do you not notice the fucking shit that this is a white, this is how you know this is a white, young white woman-led fucking movement, the social jihadis.
01:57:18.000They're just fighting for the right to do to white men what they've always done to black men.
01:57:22.000Which is like, he scared me, I want him fired.
01:57:30.000Well, it's also toxic femininity, where it's like a lot of women's instincts are based around keeping a toddler away from like light sockets.
01:57:37.000So it's like whatever they do, it's all good.
01:57:48.000Women are more designed in general to take care of very young children and men are more like seven onward where it's like, if you fall down, you hurt yourself and you learn your lesson.
02:01:46.000There's absolutely nothing that can be done.
02:01:48.000But if you're a gun lover or just shooter or know anything about guns and someone says AR-15 and they don't realize an A-10 is the same gun except with bigger bullets or an SKS or that automatic guns are already illegal and they want to like ban something they don't understand, like there is no such thing as an assault rifle.
02:04:51.000Like deer in my yard would literally just be eating my flowers and just look at me like, bitch, you know this is the village.
02:04:57.000And I'm like, dude, when I lived in Boulder, when you get out in the town of Boulder, you'll see a fucking giant mule deer sitting on the side of the road eating.
02:05:08.000Big ass buck, giant antlers, just sitting there.
02:05:12.000And you can get out of the car and go, motherfucker, are you for real?
02:05:14.000And this thing will just be looking at you, just eating.
02:05:17.000They're so convinced that no one's going to eat them.
02:06:23.000Dude, when you see those things in person, even like a horse.
02:06:26.000I don't know the last time you saw like a live horse, but like they look like a fucking dinosaur to you if you've been in the city long enough.
02:06:31.000You're like, I can't believe there's a giant fucking animal looking at me.
02:16:11.000in south america that was not not just disease but the conquistadors brought pigs that fucked up the the crops the natives had everything else fucks everything up pigs turn you know you guys watch all that pig shit right they turn wild and get tusks and hair what do you mean you guys are gonna watch what jamie pulled up here the last major contributor to the kawaii chicken population is always a shocker even to people who have lived here all their lives kawaii's wild jungle fowl is protected under state law,
02:16:37.000like all birds of Hawaii, the MOA is protected as an important part of nature.
02:16:42.000Oh, God, that's a terrible idea because that means nothing's going to eat them.
02:16:46.000So, if nothing's going to eat them, they don't have any predators.
02:16:48.000That means they're going to get disease.
02:19:56.000It's just that, dude, if you live there, I think if you just, if I had lived there, it would eventually become a kind of beautiful hell, and my only joy would be showing visitors around and crystal meth.
02:20:06.000What if I offered you, what if somebody offered you a residency at like the four seasons in Maui and it was serious cash?
02:22:42.000But it's like, the dude's, I'm like, you know, I'm going, the guy comes in, does all these covers are like four non-blondes, like, hey, hey, Jesus.
02:22:50.000I'll say, hey, it's a big fat guy singing that.
02:22:53.000And I'm like, hey, hey, good job, man.
02:23:20.000That's a great description of like the perfect, ridiculous, unattainable body.
02:23:24.000Yeah, no, these dudes are fucking, like, because, you know, Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons do, it does very well in island places with Pacific Islanders.
02:23:33.000Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons do very well.
02:23:35.000That's why Brigham Young University has all these big Samoan fucking linebackers.
02:23:53.000When you find out about Joseph Smith being 14 and 1820, and he writes about golden tablets that contain the lost work of Jesus and only you could read them because he had a seer stone.
02:25:57.000I was talking about like, these are old ladies that go to church.
02:26:00.000I know that old lady, like, if they go to church and they want to pay money to the Jesus man, but even they know what this is a little bit, you know?
02:26:08.000So when the guy's not doing his end of conning him the right way, they're not completely helpless.
02:26:42.000I mean, some of them are so blatantly ridiculous.
02:26:45.000Did you ever see the ones that were put together, the Jim Baker, who's the dude who made a bunch of, Duncan's friend made a bunch of really funny videos with Jim Baker using all that survival stuff?
02:26:56.000He just had incredible edits of real moments with Jim Baker talking about his survival food and like how you can use the buckets of survival food as like John Tanny.
02:31:03.000Well, that's a reason to kind of doubt that somebody's translating it right.
02:31:08.000It's just like, oh, you looked at that gibberish and you saw that.
02:31:11.000Well, scholars, you know, the whole thing with that is that these ancient, ancient, ancient languages, like all these stories came from these ancient languages.
02:31:20.000Like if you go way, way, way back to ancient Somer, like the Epic of Gilgamesh, there's all these Noah's Ark similarities.
02:31:27.000There's a lot of stuff in all these ancient stories.
02:31:29.000It's all probably points to some real shit that happened.
02:31:34.000But along the way, just like what you're talking about with social justice warriors and how they behave like it's a religion, there's like a natural compulsion for people to be on a group and have that group have a very clear.
02:31:46.000They have to work their way up to atheism if they want it, because that's like almost a luxury, I think.
02:31:51.000And I don't know how to just, but I'll tell you what, I will say with the DMT shit, I did get like more of a, oh yeah, there's more than something else there.
02:33:01.000Yeah, the Cottonwood Research Foundation, they did a series of tests with rats, and they proved that live rats have DMT produced by the pineal gland.
02:33:10.000Now it doesn't necessarily mean that humans do too, but they're pretty sure they do.
02:33:39.000I kind of remember what you're talking about.
02:33:41.000But I'll tell you the creepy, the thing is DMT has the creepy.
02:33:43.000I saw it the creepy because that's totally worth doing.
02:33:46.000But the thing that's, you know, whatever, people say they meet entities, right?
02:33:50.000But I don't know if that shit is meeting entity.
02:33:52.000But I'll tell you the thing that just sticks with me that I'm like, how in the fuck is that possible is the shapes that I could see were, I was well aware that they were a bit more than three-dimensional shapes.
02:34:04.000And it's so crazy to look at that and perceive it.
02:34:07.000And I'm like, how on earth could I perceive this shape?
02:34:10.000And when I can't, and you can't come back with it.
02:36:19.000It's entirely possible that they figured that out somewhere along the line, that through yogic breathing methods or some sort of psychedelic drugs they found, that they were achieving a hallucinogenic state, and they were able to somehow or another isolate where that state is being initiated.
02:36:37.000And if it's being initiated endogenously by your body, like through psychedelic breathing, that's probably where it's being produced.
02:36:43.000Now listen, I don't want to sound like an Amos Schumer defender, but that looked coincidental to me.
02:36:58.000But the fact that a straight line drops down right before the eye showed again, the straight line drops down right below the eye showed it.
02:37:03.000But they didn't know what the fucking brain did in Egypt.
02:37:10.000First of all, I thought Egypt thought the mind was in the heart, and that's why they pulled the useless brain out through the nose when they mummified you.
02:38:47.000I saw one hovering here, and then in every direction out from him, there was an infinite number of those, and they were all hovering and vibrating around me.
02:39:02.000Having done it, what do you think now of DMT after, you know, I think I saw just a couple things, but I don't know how long ago they were of you talking about it with people.
02:39:13.000But what's your opinion of it now as like, you know, what you're seeing?
02:39:19.000I mean, it definitely could be some sort of an insane hijacking of your sensory nervous system, and it produces this spectacular psychedelic effect that's so profound, this hallucinogenic effect that's so profound that it literally is like a transcendent experience and changes your life.
02:39:37.000It's totally possible that it's just a chemical thing.
02:39:42.000But what's also possible is that life itself, that whatever the fuck life is, and especially whatever the fuck intelligent life is, is not understood.
02:39:48.000What consciousness is, is not understood.
02:39:50.000And this idea that things can only exist in this realm, that's not proven.
02:39:55.000Also the fact that when those quantum physicist guys start breaking down the nature of reality and they come up with, I don't know how the fuck they do this, I'm just talking on my ass, but they come up with the idea that there's 11 dimensions.
02:40:07.000And that they literally, I mean, and this is all changing and constantly evolving and moving and they're constantly adding to this.
02:40:13.000It is entirely possible that there's a bunch of other shit that's around us all the time that's just not here and we don't have access to it.
02:40:20.000And when you do DMT, you go into that other place.
02:41:43.000These things that you see but you can't define are constantly changing.
02:41:47.000So if you try to like say, oh, it looked like a gesture, it probably did for a few seconds.
02:41:52.000For a few seconds, it looked like a gesture, and then it imploded and became stars, and then it sucked in and became geometric patterns, and then became neon-colored worms that were making love to each other in a giant infinite bundle of yarn.
02:42:05.000Like it becomes weirder and weirder shit all the time.
02:42:07.000Is it hard to remember when you're done?
02:42:31.000And when I came out of it the first time, I did this on New Year's the first time I did it.
02:42:36.000And I fucking, I guess I was like weeping, but when I came out of it, because you just suddenly are awake, and I was so out of it, it was like not, I went from weeping to like, oh, hey, what's up?
02:42:46.000Like, because I've been staring at some crazy thing that would look so beautiful to me.
02:42:51.000But it was like coming out of a dream, I guess, almost.
02:42:54.000What's that McKenna quote that I think what I'd be scared of is unearned wisdom?
02:42:58.000I think McKenna said something like, be wary of unearned wisdom, where I don't know if I can handle looking at something that intense.
02:43:05.000I was really in a low feeling state when I did it, and I didn't give a fuck, so I wanted to do it.
02:43:11.000You pick up Slack, you know, that unearned wisdom thing.
02:43:14.000I think I know what he's saying, and I think there's a real problem with people acting profound when they just learned something an hour ago.
02:49:35.000Let's bring it back to the people that are writing.
02:49:38.000So these people that are writing these things, a lot of them, they're in their 20s, and we would all have done the same thing, the exact same thing.
02:49:43.000When you're in your 20s, I thought 22 years old.
02:49:48.000When you were a writer, and if you were writing a blog for some sort of online publication and you decided to take an angle, this Dave Spell special is not that big a deal.
02:50:22.000I mean, it was always like that, but now there's an added political element of not funny.
02:50:25.000There's a whole la-la-land section of it.
02:50:29.000There's a whole section where up is down and right is left and whatever the fuck you say becomes doctrine.
02:50:35.000Well, people like to make Dane Cook a punchline that I haven't, and half the people that would do that, they haven't made me laugh even a little as much as Dane Cook.
02:50:42.000So I'm wondering how it's like, it's a free shot.
02:51:24.000If they like that style and they go, it's like someone saying to a jazz guitarist, dude, you can't play for shit because you can't play like Hendrix.
02:51:43.000But I don't think I could just walk and play guitar.
02:51:47.000But it's now a different genre, though, because the whole thing is, according to me, it's all the lowercase I generation, like right out of Apple products.
02:51:53.000Well, there's also an applied snobbishness where the people that are not doing the punchlines feel like what they're doing is somehow or another better than someone who does classic setup punchline sort of joke writing.
02:55:50.000Because if you engage, you are essentially trusting your emotional state to a bunch of people that have no concern for your well-being.
02:55:58.000Like they want to attack you and hurt your feelings.
02:56:00.000You're not going to plead it down to like, well, I was mildly upset with you.
02:56:05.000Now they have this idea and you are the target.
02:56:07.000And you, as a person who's in the public eye, as a celebrity, you know, this person is, you're thought of as someone who already has like some extra privilege.
02:56:18.000You're thought of as someone who's already already stealing something from the rest of us.
02:56:22.000You already get some easy free ride because of your talent or your notoriety or whatever the fuck it is.
02:56:27.000So they feel like there's extra license to fuck with you.
02:56:31.000Yeah, I've been guilty of that too, where I feel like someone's so big and powerful.
02:58:05.000When that guy started reaching out to me and we became friends online, it was like way after I had already been on television and everything.
02:59:02.000He was a masculine progressive, like an aggressive, fuck you, masculine progressive guy who was anti-racist, anti-sexual harassment, anti-obviously anti-sex abuse because of what happened to him.
03:00:59.000Through the work to bring materials from women's studies into the rest of the curriculum, I have often noticed men's unwillingness to grant that they are overprivileged, even though they may grant that women are disadvantaged.
03:01:12.000It's almost like she hates women in a way.
03:01:16.000Well, no, see, this is the thing that's very important.
03:01:19.000This kind of person thinks that your rights are fucking privileges, okay?
03:01:24.000So most of the list is going to be things that are your basic human right, and that if, let's say you're not getting because you're not white, you should be getting them.
03:01:31.000It's not that I shouldn't be able to move into a neighborhood I want, it's that you should be able to also.
03:01:35.000But they're framing it as, no, you have undue privilege, it needs to be taken away.
03:01:40.000It's a distorted way of looking at an actual problem.
03:02:44.000There was a lot of great comics back then.
03:02:46.000I mean, there was Stephen Wright, of course.
03:02:47.000There was a lot of great, Don Gavin, who's one of the all-time, my all-time greatest.
03:02:52.000There was all these great guys that were in that area, but this guy had something special, and he was by far the most well-read out of all of them.
03:03:00.000And I think abused kids have two roads.
03:03:03.000You either want other people to hurt, or you want to protect people.
03:03:07.000And I think that sometimes early trauma can make you just so protective of the weak where you hate when someone takes advantage of vulnerability.
03:05:52.000Because Jay, I was talking about a Jay, because he's like, I never get in any.
03:05:54.000Because we say, I'm like, I was in, now I'm in the jurisdiction of them, because I'm right These fucking people in this religion believe that's their, like, you serve at our pleasure.
03:06:24.000There's a lot of people that are liberals that feel the exact same way.
03:06:26.000They don't feel like they're really liberals anymore because of the far left has taken over like this space of what you can and can't say to the point where you're like, really on the outs.
03:06:40.000Like how do you even like just stench just based on his small hands and pettiness and like well I think it's hilarious that they shit on the ship.
03:06:48.000He's on the first female president and then they tell you not to body shame all the shit on the president's hands.
03:06:53.000It's one of the most ridiculous body shavings ever because they're not even that small.
03:06:57.000I mean they're not like outrageously small hands.
03:07:00.000So like when they say it over and over again just to fuck with him like you are clearly body shaming.
03:07:05.000It's not like you'll if you're making fun of his hair that's an obvious joke right every you can't ignore it.
03:07:10.000But the hands like you're really going after him if you're making fun of his hands.
03:07:14.000Dude, I can't believe people of course the whole thing.
03:07:19.000Even like the hypocrisy with like if you see with like Weissen, it's like all these people were his best pal.
03:09:55.000He took our conversation totally out of context.
03:09:58.000We were talking about how many, when kids get molested, how many of those kids become molesters?
03:10:04.000And we were trying to figure out like that is a real thing that does happen also where you get ingrained somehow or another into homosexual being aroused.
03:10:40.000He just put it out that he said a bunch of tweets about like us wondering, like two straight guys wondering how many gay guys became gay because they got fucked when they were kids.
03:10:49.000Like, well, that's not what we said, but that is a study.
03:11:42.000I mean, I gladly would have him on my podcast.
03:11:45.000It makes me more careful with what I say, though.
03:11:47.000And I think that's the good thing about it.
03:11:49.000So to leave, in the past, I've been way more careless with how I say things to think that it wouldn't be misconstrued, especially not weaponized.
03:11:58.000Well, dude, apologies are not to the people that hate you because they want you dead and there's no it's for people that like you don't understand that don't understand that's what you apologize for the people that are against you are they're not comedy fans or fucking people but that's what you're learning too right so through this whole dark journey that you went on with all this bullshit you did learn that though so it's very valuable yeah no dude it's barry barry is very helpful to me and uh he's not just therapy but you going through all this and coming out on the other side uh the experience of doing it yeah
03:12:28.000dude uh it made a lot of things that i kind of was told earlier that never made sense to me make a lot of like i remember last time i hung out patrice shit he said to me that i didn't understand the like kind of magnitude of what he was saying to me until then how so like what kind of stuff just about what a devil business this is and how easy you get fooled into the like brass ring it makes you a coward well they give you stuff to to let you know they could that's true but here's the thing i think that's less the case now and this is my case i think because
03:12:57.000of the internet i think comics essentially have created a network of each other yeah that's exactly right think of the network of race wars or skeptic tank or donkey chussell family hour joey diaz is a church of what's happening now we're all in a network together dude i i learned uh uh that the main thing is that because i only really got work in his business because of comics it was not the industry of course but now but now this is really important more so than ever you can build your own thing yeah the network is a an organic network
03:13:27.000instead of someone owning you or having a contract with you it's great they're like oh owen's fucking funny yeah like go see him oh gert's hilarious go see him you know make a special like and so then people listen to your podcast or they listen to your special oh this guy's fucking hilarious and we've told them the truth so many times that they believe and then the other thing about podcasts that i think is amazing and then just the internet in general with comics today is that everybody's supportive of each other when someone has a special coming out i see other people tweeting go check this out is
03:13:57.000that right yeah all the time tommy segura is great about that so is ari but these people are you know nobody ever did that in the past there was no opportunity that i feel like if i like somebody's shit i kind of go out of my way to compliment to like balance out the amount of shit it's like bitcoin it's like decentralized currency now a little bit yeah it's a little bit and there's less of this golden ring so that the golden ring is just fucking acting okay that's what it is that's right and they confuse them and if it's not acting it's writing about acting it's just like writing the scripts of the complaints are casting complaints yes
03:14:27.000not stand-up complaints it's not our world man the problem is we fuck up when we go to that world our world is inappropriate shit said behind closed doors making each other laugh i'm not a teacher i'm here to disrupt class i'm not here to help the class right we're we're in the green room doing mushrooms smoking pot drinking whiskey and then we go on stage and talk crazy shit this is our world our world is not the casting couch our world has nothing to do with auditions or this whole fucking acting like the the way actors talk to each
03:14:57.000other and actors speak that's not our world we're not we're not me too in it we're not this is this is It's a different world.
03:15:04.000We're the world trying to come up with shit that's funny so that people laugh because we like that.
03:15:10.000One of the last things Barry said to me, because they want to take his special off of Louis site, which he wouldn't do, because Barry is like a stand-up dude that wouldn't go with the crowd's trendy horse shit.
03:15:31.000It's like people, because, you know, by the way, the stats on, when they go one in five people are rapes, okay, or women are raped.
03:15:38.000I think that's probably just the amount of men that are raped and women could be double that, okay?
03:15:42.000I think it's so prevalent just based on the people I know in my life, okay, that something happened to, it's weird for something not to have happened to you.
03:15:50.000Did you see what Tim Dylan wrote about all this after the whole Louis thing went down?
03:15:57.000I think he wrote it on Facebook, but then he put it on Instagram and broke it up into pages so that you could keep turning through it.
03:16:02.000But he's explaining how this is an opportunity for truly mediocre talent to chop down someone who was head and shoulders far better than them.
03:16:10.000And they do so by claiming the moral hard ground, by virtue signaling, by going after him and attacking him and breaking down what he did.