Comedian Todd Phillips joins Jemele to discuss his new Netflix special "The Big Place" and how he got into comedy. He also talks about how he built one of his favorite comedy clubs, The Lyric in LA, and why he thinks comedy should be more intimate. And he gives us some advice on how to run a comedy club in a small space. This episode was recorded on location in Los Angeles, California. It was edited by Annie-Rose Strasser and edited by Alex Blumberg. Our theme music was made by Micah Vellian and our ad music was provided by Mark Phillips and our mixing and mastering was done by Matthew Boll. Thanks to our sponsor, Caff Monster Energy Drink, for making great tasting coffee with twice the caffeine and fueling the podcast. We hope you enjoy this episode, and if you like it, please leave us a five star review on Apple Podcasts and tell a friend about it! Thanks again for listening and supporting the podcast! Cheers! -Jon Sorrentino and Sarah Hopkins Jon & Sarah Timestamps: 1:00:00 - What's your favorite comedy club? 3:15 - What do you think of the show? 4:30 - How do you feel about it? 5:40 - What are your favorite small spaces? 6:20 - What is your favorite venue? 7:00- What are you looking forward to going to do next? 8:00 9:30- What's the best place to do on the road? 11: What kind of room do you would you most like to do the most? 12:00 + 11:40- What s your favorite place? 13:00 Is it a good one? 15:00 Can you tell me what you're most excited about? 16:00 Do you have a favorite place to go back to go to the big place in your next gig? 17:00 Are you looking for a new room? 18:00 What's a good place to watch a new place you re you re having the most authentic experience? 19:00 Who do you want to have the biggest place that you re most authentic? 22:00 Have a friend you re going to be in a big place that's better than a little bit more intimate? 21:00 Your answer? 26:00 You re having a good time?
00:00:31.000You know, it's like, I'm still proud of it.
00:00:33.000You know, usually a certain amount of time will go by where I'm like, oh, like by the time I'm, even now I've gotten it better on the road.
00:00:40.000Because, you know, the day after you shoot it, you go out on the road.
00:01:43.000Not that I think that's bad, because some people have done that really well, and it's a cool way to see a comedian just in a cool little raw space.
00:02:54.000This is a whole different thing There's so many people here.
00:02:57.000You've got to kind of project out to them.
00:02:59.000It's like a different thing It's not you don't feel them the way you feel them at the in the OR right on like a Wednesday night, right or Comedy works in Denver where they're on top of you.
00:03:12.000You know like you feel the people there more, right?
00:03:15.000Yeah, and then you learn it pretty quick, though.
00:04:04.000So now people are turning the corner into this thick blue room with two guys with black suits playing jazz as they're being seated and eating.
00:04:14.000I don't feel like it's an afterthought.
00:04:15.000What you just said, and I'll take it as a compliment, the other comedian that's in the main room there, which is an awesome room, but you look into the little room and you're like, it just looks like something's going on, and that's how I want it to look.
00:05:08.000Like some of the improvs, and then the people are watching the show like this, and they have to kind of turn and look past the person next to them.
00:05:17.000Like you're working in a half restaurant.
00:05:19.000The thing about, I will say this, about a good club, most of the food's been served or I couldn't do what I'm about to tell you that I've done.
00:05:25.000So the club has to at least be good at going, no, we get the food out.
00:05:29.000By the time the show started, we try to have the whole room serviced.
00:05:33.000So in the event, like Helium does that.
00:05:36.000So I started making this announcement, and I would tell people, because I do my own pre-show announcement, it has to do with what you said about when they're sitting sideways.
00:05:43.000And I would just go, real calm, real calm.
00:05:45.000Other than that, folks, hey, now's a good time to turn your chair around.
00:05:48.000You're always going to have to annoy someone to the right or the left of you, but now's the time to do it, and once all the chairs are facing the stage, we'll get this thing started.
00:07:32.000When you're filming shit, like, everybody is just, and even if you're not, you're checking this and checking texts and, boy, we got a real addiction problem in this country with you.
00:07:45.000I realize, because I'm not delusional, that the amount of it, I can put most of it to rest with a pre-show announcement, where I'm at in my career.
00:09:30.000Otherwise, if I don't acknowledge it, then you're never going to tell someone the opposing side if they don't think you get what I... Yeah, you see it.
00:10:26.000My concern, and this is a real concern, is that we're getting really into that and that we're going to let it take the next step, which is some sort of an implant.
00:10:53.000What you were just addressing, like we said before, like I... I catch myself, and I really try, like if I had to give myself a grade on how much I've improved on turning the phone off, loving it for what's great about it, I give myself maybe a C-,
00:11:09.000but it means I've made some strides in turning it off.
00:11:12.000You're not an F. Not an F. Not from far.
00:11:14.000Matter of fact, I remember a week ago, I was going to the Grove, and I went, I'm not meeting anybody, and I left my phone in the car.
00:15:00.000Even a joint, I don't roll joints because I'm lazy, but whenever someone has a joint and they put it, I go, this is when I, this just happens so, I get a little higher.
00:16:53.000I am exhausted from dealing with, like, it's like, not like it's a big deal, but it's like the first time you, whether, you can admit major things in your life, like, oh, I have a drinking problem, but they can be stupid little things, you know?
00:18:04.000I just had a thought of me, like, picture me at the canter shoving cheesecake in my mouth, and my friends are looking at me like, Todd, and I go, Joe Rogan said that because I'm creative that I should eat whatever I want.
00:18:17.000He said it, and you can go listen to his podcast.
00:21:51.000And one of the problems in society is that you don't do it, but you have these instincts that are built into your body from thousands of years of what people asked of their bodies 20, 30 generations ago.
00:23:55.000And then you literally, spiritually, you shut down, and then you wipe your hands, literally take some of the dirt off your hands from the day.
00:24:04.000Resetting yourself, that's a simple way to get a taste.
00:24:08.000And we always make the joke, we're like, oh, we're just going to eat, and then we're going to go throughout the whole day, and then, oh, put our food, okay, blah, blah, blah.
00:24:17.000And that hot washcloth, it's like, fuck!
00:24:20.000Yeah, I think your brain has requirements for those things, those kind of things.
00:24:24.000I think those kind of moments are really good for your outlook, a reset.
00:24:29.000I think that's like the same feeling that maybe a primitive man would get when he would walk up to the edge of a cliff and see some crazy view and see nature and birds flying around, the sun.
00:24:57.000I don't give myself any credit when I have these talks when things are going well.
00:25:01.000It's good, but if I can be in a tense moment and get out of it, then I'll be proud of myself.
00:25:08.000Yeah, that's the thing about all that motivational speaking stuff, right?
00:25:13.000It's like the guy who's doing all the motivational speaking, if he's pulling up in a Rolls Royce and he lives in a big mansion, it's like, yeah, you're enthusiastic.
00:25:55.000Like, that it is so hard to do that I would never want to start and do it again.
00:25:59.000Did you ever think, like, what it would be like if you had to start again?
00:26:02.000Like right now, you have zero jokes, you've never done stand-up, but somehow or another you have this vague memory of the grind that it takes to become an actual professional.
00:26:51.000But then, once you made the decision, unless you live in some bizarro world where you're allowed to live two lives, you would never even have memory.
00:27:49.000Did you ever think of, like, I know two things I would have done, like, before, when did you start stand-up?
00:27:54.000Excuse me, 88. I was 21. Did you, is there a job, when you were in high school, did you think, you thought you knew what you wanted to do, maybe, for a living?
00:28:09.000Yeah, but I didn't, I didn't want to fight anymore, and I didn't think that, um, I didn't think that there would be a real future in me teaching.
00:28:20.000I didn't really like teaching everybody.
00:28:23.000I only liked teaching people that were super enthusiastic.
00:28:46.000And I would say, all you have to do is just show up and you get an A. Just try.
00:28:50.000Just try and you get an A. It has nothing to do with your physical performance because the idea that everybody's starting on the same page is ridiculous.
00:28:55.000Some of these people have serious athletic backgrounds.
00:28:58.000Some of these people never worked out a day in their life and they thought it'd be fun to try something new.
00:29:01.000So the idea of grading them against each other, I said, I'll give you guys all an A. I was their age.
00:29:38.000And so we just, we did a lot of cool shit and kick pads and I taught them how to turn their hip into stuff and how to, you know, how to get power things.
00:29:46.000You could see them, it's a, there's something very enthusiastic about someone Regardless of what their physical ability is getting a little bit better and seeing it, you know Even if they start from nothing and then you see just yes.
00:29:57.000Yes, you're getting it You're getting it and then see them beam like you get this that that to me was what I was into what I wasn't into is people that needed to be motivated and They just half-assed things.
00:31:27.000And then, you know, a year goes by, I was in Philly, I called him, I said, hey Blake, you know, thanks for, it was, whatever it was, it would be a message I was leaving, hey, I got your friends on the guest list for Thursday, and then there's these messages.
00:31:40.000So he told me I saved every one of your messages about a year ago.
00:31:43.000I've had people say that before, but then they go, oh, they got erased, or when they, you know, oh, I got my computer, and then I lost them.
00:31:49.000He came over about a year ago with, like, 50 messages.
00:31:54.000And so we put him on a CD and put him on iTunes, and it's 12 years of messages from Todd Glass to Blake Wexler, a simple name.
00:32:03.000But the reason I think it's really pure, which is a weird way to maybe say it, but it's just from me to him.
00:32:10.000Now, there was probably three or four at the end where I knew they'd probably end up on there, but I mentioned it.
00:32:15.000I go, now this whole thing is fucking ruined because I know you're making that CD, so now I'm aware of it.
00:32:21.000But most of them, I never thought they'd end up on a CD. So it's just me talking to Blake, and it sort of tells our friendship.
00:32:26.000You see the friendship grow, but there's some of them very funny.
00:33:29.000He doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about.
00:33:31.000I thought because I'm not gonna be so stupid to think oh Tony knows I'm gonna get a weekend but he probably did know he was he was around comedy a lot he probably knew something you know yeah yeah he's gonna be he'll get a weekend you know I got a weekend all right yeah man when you when you talking when you're talking to an open miker it's like you're talking to someone who's gonna make a journey that like if you had a hundred open micers what are the odds That they become professional.
00:34:01.000They make it to being a working stand-up.
00:34:48.000Like Bloomington has a scene, and you think, a lot of those people, two years later, like, wow, look how good they're doing, and they're in New York now, and they're...
00:34:55.000So in a small group, but yeah, probably on all the comedians in every city that are doing it right now, I guess it's a lot lower.
00:35:03.000Yeah, what I'm saying is, from the person who makes it on stage the first time, every week at the Comedy Store, you're dealing with how many, what do they get on?
00:35:35.000I encourage anyone, if you're not even into doing stand-up, just to go watch an open mic night.
00:35:42.000And see the mania and the madness and what some of it is just someone who you you what you're seeing is Potential right or no potential you're seeing one of those two things Either you see it someone where you go that person is fucking never going to be a stand-up comedian There's no way there's just no way,
00:36:03.000you know like there's no way and then you're seeing huh, maybe Oh, yeah.
00:37:51.000Like you're going after stupid laws and dumb shit that happened, and like you're literally, by using your words and the way you're describing things, literally having a little battle with something that's not even there.
00:38:04.000I call them verbal, I hope I say it right, verbal shit.
00:39:37.000But then you see their set, their actual stand-up set, and like, mm, it's missing a spark, right?
00:39:42.000There was a spark that you had when you were in combat with this other person, because you knew they were going to be firing at you, so you were firing at them, and it was all in fun, but it was also a chance to flex your comedic writing skills.
00:39:53.000Well, then when you're on stage and it's just you, then where's the juice?
00:40:46.000That's why I said it was a writing sample, because, you know, if you were writing jokes, you could also make statements, political statements, and go back and...
00:40:54.000No one gets hurt because you're making fun of Hitler.
00:41:19.000But in the stand-up, people are paying to see you, and you're supposed to be getting laughs.
00:41:25.000And when you're not getting laughs, there's this feeling of disappointment in the audience.
00:41:29.000And when you're doing new stuff, man, there's a distinct possibility there's going to be no fucking laughs in the spot where you wanted there to be laughs.
00:41:39.000I thought that was a way funnier idea.
00:41:41.000Or maybe I just fucked up the way I said it, or maybe I just have to stretch it out and figure out where the good spots are and then start hacking it up and editing it.
00:41:50.000You know, but there's gonna be a real problem with bombing.
00:41:53.000You're gonna have to be comfortable with saying a joke that's just not that good.
00:43:59.000Sometimes in comedy, ladies and gentlemen, you get to an end of a joke, and it's not the crowd's fault because you're great, but it just doesn't land, and it's uncomfortable for them.
00:44:07.000So what I did when I hit that period about 30 seconds ago, I'd just been talking nonstop ever since, and now we're here, and everybody's happy.
00:48:16.000And even though not through, probably a good idea for everyone to know that does one-liners, that there still has to be an essence of you in them.
00:48:24.000Like, even though his jokes didn't segue together, like, they seem, you're still, you knew who he was by his jokes, obviously.
00:48:30.000Like, the, oh, he had a, you know, he definitely had.
00:48:33.000They're not just individual jokes just glued all together.
00:48:55.000That was who he was, very silly, so that's what you know about him.
00:48:58.000He was the type of comedian, he would get into his rhythm, like, I would listen to him a lot of times on the way to the airport, because I was, you know, that traffic on the way to the airport's annoying.
00:49:08.000He just wanted to just chill out and giggle.
00:50:15.000I realized that a few years ago when you listen to the old ones and he would, in other words, a joke could be, it was still Rodney, but it would be like, this is more of a joke a comedian would tell, not really one line.
00:50:26.000You know you're getting old when your family talks in front of you.
00:51:03.000Of course I knew what timing was before I saw Rodney.
00:51:05.000I could tell you I was a comedian for ten years at that point, but I know what timing is.
00:51:11.000But then when you saw Rodney, I went, oh fuck, that's timing.
00:51:15.000It was so, like, I knew what it was, but I just got a doctorate in what it was.
00:51:19.000I just saw it delivered, like, the best of the best of the best, and I go, now?
00:51:24.000I mean, it was just crazy with every turn and every...
00:51:29.000And then just when you think, how can he take you anywhere?
00:51:31.000And then the band kicks in, and then he starts, like, you know, doing betting music.
00:51:36.000And then the band bumped, they got bigger and bigger.
00:51:40.000Then he started singing this song, because everybody sang them, but Rodney did it...
00:51:44.000In his own way, he starts going, you know, something about to dream, whatever the song is, and then he does about 10 seconds of it, and then he goes, what the fuck am I singing for?
00:51:55.000I'm watching him, I'm going, oh my god, to you they're just a band, but he goes, I know to this band, to you they're just a band, but to me they're a bunch of fucking idiots.
00:52:06.000And then the band has, they're taught, because they're all, you know, musicians from that city.
00:56:08.000Look, because what do you want them to do?
00:56:10.000Wait, I'm not saying there's not rules and feelings and how you present it, but I think most of the time everything is great and then you realize one day you wake up and I've had it to me I must have been on the other end of this and they just don't want to be in it but they stay in it because that doesn't mean they don't not care about you so they stay in it and it gets bad you see it coming but so I always say I always let someone know,
00:57:36.000The fact that I put that preface in there, look, I need to let you know this, not to make you feel bad, but I do like you.
00:57:42.000Because I don't want to find out 10 years later, I thought you were giving me walking papers.
00:57:44.000So I had to be clear with my feelings, but mainly let that person know, And that way, I didn't end up in a relationship for another year where I knew the other person.
00:57:56.000No, especially if you're hanging out with adults, right?
00:57:59.000You know, when I was a kid, I think one of the things that took me a long time to get past was it was always thought that if you talked about your feelings and your emotions, that that was weak.
00:59:25.000If that was true, if there's any truth to that, it's people.
00:59:27.000There's people that are evolved, and there's people that are, you know, have a deep level head on their shoulders, because if there was any truth that one sex was crazier, there's a science to disproving that.
00:59:37.000Then in lesbian relationships, you'd go, hey, how's your relationship?
00:59:41.000And they'd go, well, of course we argue a teeny bit here and there, but no, no, we're both women, so we're getting along great.
01:01:17.000Like, how can you make this judgment when I've met so many?
01:01:20.000Like, you're not meeting enough people, or they meet you and they go, oh, this guy's a fucking asshole, so they avoid you, so everybody's got this thing that they're spreading about you.
01:01:30.000Yeah, that's why younger people tend to, you know, just by being around.
01:01:34.000I wish there was a place you could go if you couldn't afford college, because I don't think it's the education at college that you probably learn the most from.
01:01:40.000It's the being forced to be around other people.
01:01:42.000You go, oh, I'd rather hang out with that group that I hated because we have the same taste in music.
01:01:47.000And you learn it because you're forced to live together.
01:01:49.000But wouldn't it be cool if there was like, where can you go if you're like, well, I don't afford college, but I want to put my kids around all, well...
01:01:55.000Some parents wouldn't want to do it, but kids could do it.
01:01:57.000I just want to be around every type of person.
01:02:04.000But isn't that true that that's where a lot of growing does with young kids when they're forced to be around other people?
01:02:09.000Some kids, they're living with really suppressive parents.
01:02:12.000And the only way they even know who the fuck they are is if they could sleep in their own bed.
01:02:16.000Open their own door with their own key, go into their own room, lie down, and then just be alone.
01:02:20.000Be away from these other fucking people that are constantly giving you these rules that you have to follow and have these lofty expectations for your success.
01:02:30.000And like, fucking Christ, you don't even know what you want to do.
01:02:33.000And they want you to do something that's going to pay a lot of money.
01:02:35.000We're spending a lot of money sending you to school, Todd.
01:02:38.000We want to make sure that you're productive.
01:02:46.000And meanwhile, you just finally get a chance to listen to some music that you never heard before and hang out with some people from some part of the country you've never been.
01:03:08.000And every generation, every generation is more aware of how fucking stupid the previous generation was.
01:03:14.000Like, there was some grandpappy days back on the fucking farm when they would, you know, they would talk about their grandparents and their grandparents were wiser than them, you know?
01:03:57.000And it makes me want to be like a progressive bully.
01:04:03.000I try to say, I called, I said that about you once, Mark Maron, not that word, but I go, I need people that are like, I think I might have said a bully, but on the right side of history, so it was a compliment.
01:05:08.000And he used to be a white male supremacist.
01:05:11.000And he got recruited when he was like 14 years old and was in it for like, I think he said eight years or something like that.
01:05:17.000And just was talking to Sam Harris about these horrific decisions that he had made in this group that he had got connected to and they were committing violent crimes against black people and like all this the crazy shit that he was talking about and then you listen to him now as this guy in his 40s is like super rational and very intelligent and well-read and And it's like saying,
01:05:39.000look, I just got caught up in this ideology.
01:05:42.000I went down this road, and other people were doing the thinking for me, and we were all doing it for each other.
01:05:47.000It became this horrific groupthink that he got swept up in.
01:05:53.000I think that's happening with progressive people, too.
01:05:56.000I think there's a this this this need to be right and to shout down each other and and Ruthlessly mock each other like that has to be used like nuclear weapons like only in in the case of like severe issues Where like you've got a country another country is about to develop a nuclear weapon They're gonna go after you first Or they've already done it and you have to disarm their nukes.
01:06:20.000We've got to be nicer to each other when it comes to talking about these ideas, because every time someone from the left attacks relentlessly and ruthlessly and viciously someone from the right because of their ideas, you just start a back and forth.
01:06:35.000You're not looking at it in a way like there's got to be some way to communicate your ideas in a friendly way.
01:07:12.000Remember, you're trying to bring somebody with you and bring them over.
01:07:15.000But sometimes I want to split the difference, and I could be wrong, because sometimes I think when I'm screaming at the top of my lungs, and I literally have to take a break on the podcast, you know, about something, maybe that gives, and it's about a transgender issue, something I'm not going through, but I'm able to scream it so someone that's going through it goes,
01:07:34.000Or when I can yell about a women's issue, so, like, goddammit, scream at the top of my lungs, because they say scream about what you're not, because you can get angrier.
01:07:41.000Maybe I give someone their dignity back.
01:07:43.000Maybe sometimes screaming into the canyon is okay, but not to another person's face.
01:07:51.000But when it comes, but then you have to decide, because a podcast is always a canyon.
01:07:56.000But it's also you have the ability, so if someone is going to attack you, maybe the only way they have the ability is to do it in a Twitter post or a blog post.
01:08:05.000I mean, they're all people with their own opinions too, right?
01:08:31.000Just real quick, because I have a few times, and there's even one post I want to take down, because it's a woman that's heckling me, and it turned into a sexist, words flying back and forth, and I want to take it down.
01:08:43.000If I could post, Why I'm taking it down.
01:09:06.000You don't have to start throwing around these words.
01:09:08.000It has nothing even to do with the topic.
01:09:10.000That's the way they express themselves.
01:09:11.000Well, it's like the way people disagree about things can change.
01:09:14.000The way they communicate their disagreement can change how it gets resolved.
01:09:18.000But what always happens is if you go hard, they go hard back.
01:09:23.000And I think we're dealing with that back and forth in this country.
01:09:26.000And what I was going to say is about this march for our lives is that what I'm seeing that's very confusing to me is from people who are gun supporters, like the NRA supporters, who...
01:09:39.000And some of them have even mocked these kids for getting attention by going to these marches and stuff like that.
01:09:46.000And they're saying that nobody would have heard of you or nobody would know who you are.
01:09:50.000This is a ridiculous way to look at it.
01:09:53.000It's very defensive because they're feeling like someone's coming after their guns.
01:09:57.000So they're going on the attack in some ways that's just really not recommended.
01:10:32.000But they went through that fucking thing.
01:10:34.000They're the few kids that have gone through this thing in the country that are standing, On the public stage and saying look at us you got to do something you can't have the same shit happen over and over and over again and maybe they don't have the most complicated solution But they're right,
01:10:57.000And if anybody should be forcing people to talk, it's the kids that were around their friends that got shot, who realized their fucking parents are working all day, and they come home tired, and no one's going to fix nothing.
01:11:12.000And the politicians are all in bed with the NRA and all these different organizations as if they're on the left, and everybody's beholden to their special interest groups.
01:11:20.000So these kids are seeing all this shit, and they know nothing's going to happen.
01:11:54.000If you hit someone with the back of your hand, you can hurt your hand.
01:11:57.000I know a lot of guys who have broken their hands in a fight because they hit someone with a spinning back fist with the back of their hand.
01:12:04.000So that's just letting someone know, I'm so dismissive of you.
01:12:08.000And by the way, since we were just saying how to be more peaceful, what I'm saying is when somebody, it doesn't even mean, I'm not saying don't have a conversation and don't disagree.
01:12:19.000The person that wants to shake you and stop you is once you start making fun of these kids someone even that agrees with you that there shouldn't be any isn't there someone on that side they can go stop and I guess there are but when when they say you know you should learn see Rick Rick Rick what's his name Rick the guy who said if they the kids should instead of looking for someone else to solve their problems they should learn CPR Rick Santorum yeah That doesn't even
01:13:19.000If I could just stop, just one thing I really feel like is really important to this.
01:13:25.000I think both the people on the right and the people on the left have way more in common than they have a part.
01:13:31.000And I think that a lot of the battle that people on the left have is they've chosen to be on the left, the same people on the right.
01:13:38.000They've chosen to be on the right, so anything that happens on the left, they completely disagree with.
01:13:43.000They immediately go, oh, that's a left-wing liberal idea.
01:13:47.000And they just have these little back-and-forths with each other that are completely unnecessary.
01:13:51.000I think the majority of people just want everybody to get along, not have crime.
01:13:57.000You think Bernie Sanders maybe could have done that?
01:13:59.000Not could he have won, but what would have happened if he got- Maybe, but the problem with Bernie is the same reason why he let those Black Lives people take his mic and start screaming into the thing like, hey buddy, can't do that.
01:14:11.000You're running for fucking president and you're showing right here that people could just storm the stage and take the microphone from you.
01:14:16.000Like, you should say, I would love to have a dialogue with you.
01:14:23.000We'll come back, we'll get a large group of people, and I'll speak with you on this stage, if you represent this very important political movement.
01:15:56.000Everybody can jump up for their own cause, whether it's white power or fucking Jews' Lives Matter, whatever it is.
01:16:02.000You can just decide that you have a group now, and your group may very well be valid, but you can just decide now you're just going to yell out whenever there's some sort of a political speech, and then it'll be your chance to talk.
01:16:13.000You're just going to take the mic and make it all about you?
01:16:15.000Yeah, there's got to be some civility.
01:16:17.000There are a lot of things we need to be concerned with.
01:17:34.000I'm sure we could pull up 50. So with that said, now I'm not saying we shouldn't doubt them, If I had a gun to my head and someone said, if we had a crystal ball, are they making the right choice about Bernie Sanders, these kids?
01:17:57.000They go, we're going to shoot you in your head.
01:17:58.000I go, kids, overwhelmingly kids like him.
01:18:01.000Yeah, he's going to do the right thing!
01:18:03.000And I think if there was a crystal ball, here's my theory.
01:18:05.000But I've never said this, I think, out loud.
01:18:09.000That maybe 50 years from now, just like we're learning about history, they would talk about him in the way that, you know, this guy came into office, picture kids, and they're telling him why, maybe...
01:18:20.0002022 started to be these good times, and they're talking about history, and they, well, a guy came into office and he really didn't know anything about the, he didn't really know about, he was not, you know, he didn't know about war, he didn't know about, and no one thought he could really do it, but he was one thing that you wouldn't think would answer our economical problems.
01:18:36.000You can be a nice-hearted person, but that's not going to answer your economical problems, but it ended up doing that.
01:18:42.000Because he did truly treat everybody kind.
01:18:45.000And it ended up that when people started to be treated fairly, the world worked better, with less depressed people.
01:18:52.000I'm not saying everybody, but we torture people.
01:18:54.000We had someone in power that was overwhelmingly kind, and people felt the wrath of that almost very quickly.
01:19:39.000And other people will tell you, no, we're sitting on a bunch of huge bubbles, a commercial real estate bubble and credit bubble and all this different shit that could go down at any moment.
01:19:58.000When you talk about a dummy like you or myself and trying to prognosticate what would make people successful and what would make people not, I don't know about the economic part, but what I do know is as long as you have a person who's kind but also firm,
01:20:17.000Like, a person who's kind, but you also, you're not worried about them if something happens with China or Russia.
01:20:44.000And there's all these other people that are other superpowers that are going, hmm, what's going on over there?
01:20:49.000That place don't look so fucking healthy.
01:20:52.000That place looks a little fucked up right now.
01:20:54.000And this is like they're expelling Russian diplomats and all this crazy shit's going down and Putin just won another election.
01:21:02.000And we're watching this thing go down between the top three superpowers and one of them is run by a maniac.
01:21:08.000Maybe two of them are, but one of them is run by a guy we know is a maniac, and we put him in there, and a lot of people are still going along with it, and they like it.
01:21:20.000Not like snarky or anything, because I was trying to think, like, you know, like, there's more things you said we have in common than there's got to be some commonalities.
01:21:31.000What would be one that you could like, because I always think like anything I can defend Trump on, even if it's stupid, I go out of my way to defend it.
01:21:38.000One time someone, it doesn't matter what it was, there were two times, and I did.
01:22:40.000They're getting rid of certain public parks and shrinking them and opening up These areas for drilling and natural resources that make people very nervous that in doing this they could be damaging rivers and that these delicate ecosystems where people go and hike and camp through and they're going to close these down.
01:23:04.000The real concern is that people are going to Somehow or another, we're going to suffer so that some companies can profit incredibly off of natural resources that are on public land.
01:23:17.000That's a big fear, because that's some shit that is really unusual about this country, and some shit that Teddy Roosevelt saw way, way in advance.
01:23:25.000He saw the benefit of doing this, of having these massive national parks.
01:26:14.000Like, when the dad died, these people were all weeping in the street, and they had to weep, like, outwardly, loudly, as long as they could do it.
01:26:23.000And if you stopped weeping early, you'd be punished.
01:26:26.000And people who they felt weren't weeping enough got six months in jail.
01:26:32.000It's a crazy place and everyone turns on everyone.
01:26:36.000Everyone rats everyone else out on everything they do.
01:27:50.000He's got a little saying that he put on the back wall.
01:27:55.000Of one of the clubs that I worked, one of the theaters that I worked, about the people that work there.
01:28:01.000You know, you're the lucky one, so you should be very thankful that these people who work way harder than you make way less money than you.
01:28:11.000And I'm like, that's a guy that's looking at it the right way.
01:28:14.000So he takes a fucking spot, points it down on the map, and he's like, okay, let's try Bahrain.
01:28:20.000And he just fucking travels to Bahrain.
01:28:23.000You know, he'll go to the middle of Africa, he'll go to Cameroon.
01:29:45.000You're not living in a lap of luxury in Cameroon.
01:29:48.000It's like, you know, you take what they got, and, you know, you just hang with the people, you be like the locals, you know, meet some cool people, hang out with them.
01:32:00.000We had someone come out with a trumpet and a guitar, and they did a real kumbayas of public domain.
01:32:05.000And And then we tried to sell it, and no one was really interested, so it's okay.
01:32:11.000You know, what is that thing that people do where they hire someone to play acoustic guitar and sing songs in a restaurant, and they walk over to a table?
01:33:20.000But if you're in the middle of a conversation and the magician comes over and all of a sudden wants you to pick a card, like, come on, man.
01:33:26.000We have some shit we have to talk about.
01:33:28.000Just because we're in a public place doesn't mean you can join in.
01:34:06.000So I'm pretty polite, and I... And try to enjoy it, and it's usually pretty short, but yeah, I'm always wishing, yeah, we're just into this intense conversation.
01:36:55.000You know, that's a good example of a room.
01:36:57.000You're going down a hallway, you're at a restaurant.
01:36:59.000Picture everybody, everyone has to go to a club for the first time.
01:37:02.000You go, it's in the back of a restaurant, you go down a hallway, then all of a sudden...
01:37:06.000Even though it's a simple room, there's a sound booth, there's lights, the curtain shuts, the lights go down.
01:37:12.000And I think every second you're in a club like that where they have production, you're like, oh, this is something.
01:37:19.000You know, like the audience that might not know what to expect.
01:37:21.000Now they know it's going to be good sometimes, even before the show starts, just the way the place conducts itself, and then the house lights go out.
01:37:56.000He was working on some sort of a door deal, and he thought there was more people in the room than the club owner told him, so he had the audience individually count out a number.
01:38:38.000But whatever it is, that's how he found out.
01:38:42.000He went through the whole room and he got past the number that this guy said there were and then there was like still 50 more fucking people.
01:39:55.000And then, you know, like, as you're coming up, They don't want to pay you more, and you're like, but I make more now, I'm a headliner, and you get into this weird sort of thing with each other.
01:40:06.000I think that that poisons the well for a lot of comedian-club owner relationships.
01:40:35.000That's why I try, and not only do I try, I do it, too.
01:40:38.000As much as I complain about when they do it wrong, I always spend twice as much time giving clubs a do-it-great shout-outs and throwing love their way.
01:42:00.000Yeah, because both parties have some work to do.
01:42:04.000It's really, if they were in therapy, you both got some things you can fix.
01:42:07.000And as long as, because it is true, it's like, I'm not unaware of what you're saying, because it's just comedians for every club owner that maybe rips somebody off, which of course they exist.
01:42:18.000There's also that comedian that thinks everybody's ripping them off and nobody is.
01:42:23.000When you're not getting booked, it's real easy to develop that sort of animosity between you and a club.
01:42:31.000If you can't work and you think that other guys are not as good as you and they're getting work, and you get frustrated and you're young and dumb already, you can have that sort of weird Complicated relationship.
01:44:20.000I don't remember the name of it, but it was a bar in the front, and you'd go past the bar to this back room, and it was like all people that I had never seen do stand-up.
01:44:30.000I'd never seen them at the store, never saw them at the Laugh Factory, never saw them at the improv.
01:44:33.000It seemed like they had either just started, or they were crazy.
01:44:38.000Maybe it was the night that I was there, but I was like, this place is nuts.
01:46:39.000Mitzi created the LA scene at the store.
01:46:41.000Mitzi's guidance, her what she tolerated, what she enforced, and what she preferred, and who she gave enthusiasm to, she shaped so many comics, man.
01:46:55.000You know, so there's a few of those club owners that are like super super special like really really important people They just they create an environment where shit pops out of I know I say it's the closest thing like Presenting knowing how to present something especially when it's comedy.
01:47:11.000I'm in awe of whenever somebody, you know Do you ever think you would do that?
01:49:03.000Just shitting diarrhea all over everybody.
01:49:07.000But that's not even your fault with a lot of people.
01:49:10.000A lot of people, it's like they don't Probably realize what they're doing.
01:49:15.000They're doing it and they think they're right, but they're just looking at it from their own personal, selfish perspective because they're excited about what they're saying and because they're engaged in a contest.
01:49:25.000It's not just that they're talking about stuff.
01:49:28.000They're engaged in a contest they're trying to win.
01:50:17.000Somebody cuts you off or someone's on their phone, they almost slam into you and you freak out and they give you the bird and you're like, fuck you.
01:50:59.000I've seen it, a civil person that probably is about to sit down at a restaurant, and probably a relatively nice guy, but that's, if you're 40 years old, or 20, or whatever age, the younger, the more understandable.
01:51:12.000But when you see, let's go with a 40-year-old, putting his finger out the window, Fuck!
01:52:21.000If those guys were in cars all around you, you wouldn't be yelling, fuck you, pull over, pull over, pussy, pull over.
01:52:27.000You wouldn't do that, because these guys will smash you.
01:52:30.000They're not even the same thing as you.
01:52:32.000The reason that it makes me laugh, that behavior, is because it's not always a maniac in real life, but they should see their behaviors maniac-like.
01:52:52.000Like, if ten is, like, full awareness, you're at, like, six or seven, where in normal life you're at one.
01:52:59.000Like, you're already, like, kind of wrapped up, because everything's moving fast around you, and trying to stay calm, and someone's doing something, or trying to get in your lane, all you fucking piece of shit!
01:53:12.000That's why when you're late, you know, when you're late for something, even me, and I'm a pretty civil person, and I try to stop it, but if I'm super late and nervous, I will say to the person doing the most mundane thing, what the fuck are you doing?!
01:54:07.000But I don't remember what it was about, but I remember the dude took his shirt off to show me his tattoos, and I started pointing at him laughing.
01:55:17.000But I mean, I bet if I knew that guy in real life, and we were just together in a fucking office building, and he worked in one office and I worked in another, I'd be like, what's up, man?
01:55:45.000That's why when I go to my house to Silver Lake, some people want to get on the highway, and I go, I don't want to get on the highway.
01:55:55.000First of all, it always ends up being about the same time, but even if it's five minutes longer, on surface streets, On a highway, I feel like I'm getting too out there in this highway world.
01:56:04.000I just want to go somewhere where I'm not on the highway.
01:56:35.000Get that cool drive down, that winding road down.
01:56:38.000That winding road down is excellent, man.
01:56:40.000It reminds you you're in LA. Yeah, and I always think of, like, these bad motherfuckers that live right there on the road.
01:56:46.000Like, who do you have to be to be so confident in people that you buy a house right there on Laurel Canyon, around one of those corners, where someone can easily miscalculate and slam right into your car and slam into your house?
01:57:40.000I always think that, like, on the highway, when there's an apartment building so close to the highway, that you could forget something and go, honey, I'm pulling around on the overpass, come over to the window and throw me my shoes.
01:57:53.000Like an episode of The Honeymooners or some shit, right?
01:58:51.000But if that keeps going, right, then it becomes this monolithic, huge favela, like, you know, some crazy, like, completely stuffed with people, and chickens and dogs running around, and, I mean, like, all these future dystopia movies,
01:59:06.000they're all, everything's all, it's not like everything's amazing in the future.
01:59:09.000We have these huge, super-populated cities and everything's perfect.
02:04:03.000They don't make power companies because they're altruistic, beautiful people who want everybody to watch TV. They do because they want that cash, baby!
02:04:12.000That's why they're going to drill holes right next to the river.
02:04:14.000Come on, that's why all the good stuff is.
02:06:54.000These were the bombs to end all bombs.
02:06:57.000My body's just not designed to do that anymore.
02:07:00.000It just doesn't want to do that anymore because I've been eating so clean so regularly that just a couple of days of pasta and bullshit and egg rolls and my body was like, fuck you.
02:08:02.000Well, no, that's just because my only thing I can do to say, okay, while I have this shitty diet, I can at least say to my body, like I think of myself as my body going, thank you for giving us some good stuff.
02:08:13.000We wish you wouldn't eat that other shit, but thanks for something.
02:08:24.000Like you're very aware that you need nutrients.
02:08:26.000When you do do that stuff and juice, one of the things that they say, we should probably look this up right now because I'm obviously not a nutrition expert, but I'm pretty sure they say that vitamins are absorbed better when you have them with some healthy fat.
02:08:41.000So I think they recommend coconut oil.
02:08:44.000If you have some coconut oil with vegetables, when you drink vegetable juice, it actually can enhance the absorption of some of the vitamins.
02:14:07.000The good feeling in your mouth for a buck, like how much bang you get for your buck, if you're hungry with the cheese and the egg, holy shit!
02:14:16.000Here's my point, how much I agree with you.
02:14:18.000And we're not saying the ingredients or anything.
02:14:20.000If you took that McGriddle, I say this with a lot of foods.
02:14:23.000I'm just using this as an example because you just said that actual item.
02:14:29.000Take that McGriddle, put it on a chopping block at a French restaurant, and then all you do is put that McGriddle on the chopping block, and then maybe put some syrup all over it, deliver it to a table.
02:14:39.000No one's going to go, it's good, but it's not like it's food.
02:14:43.000No, they're going to go, shut the fuck up.
02:21:06.000Steak tartare was horse meat dish that originated from the horse-eating Mongols of Central Asia, who swept across the East and Central Europe 800 years ago.
02:21:14.000The most common tales of the tartar...
02:21:20.000T-A-T-A-R? Horsemen would put a slice of horse meat beneath their saddle in the morning and retrieve it, tenderized by the pounding, to eat raw for dinner.
02:21:28.000They supposedly left their raw meat-eating habit behind, and according to one version of the story, it was carried by the German sailors to Hamburg, where the taste for ground beef began, begat both hamburgers and steak tartare.
02:22:17.000Wanted to do that, that would be a way to tenderize meat.
02:22:21.000Yeah, well, I mean, with the same restaurant I was describing that I worked at before was a Mongolian barbecue grill where we'd cook with swords, literal metal swords on a flat top when it was supposed to be representing the shields that the Mongols would cook on back in the eight hunt, whatever.
02:24:52.000What about the story that Chris Ryan told about the guy who made a knife out of shit and it was a frozen shit knife to kill one of his dogs because he was like a sled dogger and he was starving to death.
02:25:42.000The last time I wanted, two times, and I don't tell any stories like, you know, oh, this person, no, no, this is two things I think, and I think I would have learned my lesson because my book I wanted to call, I wanted to call my book All I ever wanted to do was meet a nice girl with a terminal disease.
02:26:01.000And then other stupid things I said to keep the closet door shut.
02:26:05.000I would add that as a subtitle, even though I hated the word closet.
02:26:08.000That's how I tried to sell it to him, because I hate closet and anything to do with any words, you know, of that, of this, and out.
02:26:15.000So I go, okay, if I can call it, all I ever wanted to do was meet a nice girl.
02:27:43.000Be honest about it and say, this is why I thought it was real.
02:27:46.000And people will respect that, because they'll know that when you're talking, you're saying what's really on your mind, whether you're right or whether you're wrong.
02:27:54.000You might be incorrect, but if you are incorrect, you're going to let them know you're incorrect.
02:30:09.000And folks, let me just say to you, if you're in a place where Todd Glass is performing, he's one of the best stand-up comics working in America today.