The Joe Rogan Experience - April 03, 2018


Joe Rogan Experience #1099 - Christopher Ryan


Episode Stats

Length

3 hours and 17 minutes

Words per Minute

183.33446

Word Count

36,123

Sentence Count

3,687

Misogynist Sentences

88

Hate Speech Sentences

94


Summary

Dr. Chris Ryan and I stopped in Bisbee, AZ to visit a rattlesnake guy and talk to a guy who has been studying snakes for 50 years and has been bitten 15 times by them. I don t know why anyone would choose to live in a toxic place like that, but I guess it's a good thing it's not like it's like a normal place to live. I have no idea what it is, but it's definitely not a place you want to visit if you don't want to get bitten by a snake. And if you do, don't worry, you're not the only one who's been bitten by one. I don't know why you would want to live there either, but that's what happens when you're on the road and you stop to visit someone you care deeply about and they don't care about you. It's a weird place and it's probably not a good place to be, but you do what you gotta do, so why not go there and see what you can find out about it? It's not a bad place to stop and visit, and you'll probably have a lot of interesting experiences along the way. I hope you enjoy this episode. If you like what you hear, tweet me and let me know what you thought of it! Timestamps: 1:30 - I'm back in New Orleans 4:00 - I just got back from the road 6:00 7: What's your favorite part of the road? 8: Who do you think is the most toxic place in Arizona? 9:15 - What are you would like to see me visit? 11:40 - What is your favorite snake guy? 14:30 15:40 16:00- I'm going to go to Bisbee? 17:20 - What kind of snake guy you think I should be next? 18:30- What do you like to eat? 19:20 22:15 20:00 | How to eat a snake? 27:30 | How many bites I've been bitten? 26:40 | How do you feel about a snake bite? 29:00 / 30: How much venom? 31:30 // 30:00 + 33:00 // 34:30 / 36:10 36:40 // 35:30 + 36:00 ?


Transcript

00:00:04.000 Three, two, one.
00:00:10.000 Is that a gun?
00:00:12.000 That was a weird point.
00:00:14.000 I wasn't sure if that was the gun.
00:00:16.000 Chris Ryan, how are you, buddy?
00:00:18.000 Hey, I'm good.
00:00:18.000 Dude, the van.
00:00:20.000 Vanthropology.
00:00:20.000 Right out there, man.
00:00:21.000 What are you doing?
00:00:22.000 Scarlett Jovanson, I call her.
00:00:23.000 You just traveling in that thing?
00:00:24.000 I just got back from a month on the road, yeah.
00:00:27.000 Wow.
00:00:27.000 To New Orleans and back.
00:00:29.000 I was just New Orleans too, but it only took three hours.
00:00:31.000 Yeah, I took a scenic route.
00:00:34.000 How many days does it take to drive to New Orleans?
00:00:36.000 You know, we stopped a lot along the way.
00:00:38.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:00:39.000 But, I don't know, 10, 12 days, something like that.
00:00:44.000 You want to stop?
00:00:45.000 We actually, we went down along the border.
00:00:47.000 We were in Bisbee.
00:00:49.000 Oh, did you visit?
00:00:49.000 No, he was in Asia.
00:00:51.000 Oh.
00:00:51.000 He was on Southeast Asia.
00:00:53.000 That's how, like...
00:00:55.000 When you think of Bisbee, you think of Stanhope.
00:00:58.000 They're inexorable at this point.
00:00:59.000 There's not much of a reason to go to Bisbee.
00:01:02.000 If you said Bisbee and you didn't visit Stanhope, if you went to Phoenix and didn't visit a guy that you knew there, it's like, I'm sorry man, I got really busy.
00:01:09.000 That's normal.
00:01:10.000 But if you went to Bisbee and didn't visit Stanhope, Yeah.
00:01:13.000 How many people are in Bisbee?
00:01:14.000 I don't know, but it's a strange little place.
00:01:17.000 Have you been there?
00:01:18.000 No.
00:01:18.000 I'm scared.
00:01:19.000 It's like this giant open pit mine, and the hills are all kind of purple in weird colors because it's all slag from the mine.
00:01:28.000 Really?
00:01:28.000 Yeah.
00:01:29.000 It's a toxic looking place, I got to say.
00:01:33.000 Jesus Christ.
00:01:33.000 I don't know why anyone would choose to live there.
00:01:36.000 Real estate crashes.
00:01:38.000 Dr. Chris Ryan trashes Bisbee.
00:01:40.000 It's going down.
00:01:42.000 I'm not saying anything that isn't pretty obvious if you drive through town.
00:01:46.000 I'm sure there are nice parts of town.
00:01:48.000 I don't know.
00:01:49.000 We just drove through.
00:01:50.000 The coolest thing about this van is...
00:01:53.000 I've combined it with the podcast.
00:01:56.000 And so I'm traveling, and I'm also meeting people along the way, some of which are planned, like if Stanhope had been around and was willing to hang, definitely would have hung with him.
00:02:06.000 But others just come up, like right near Bisbee.
00:02:12.000 See, people follow me on social media, and they're like, oh, I see you're in Texas.
00:02:15.000 You should visit my buddy in Terlingua.
00:02:17.000 And I did, and I'll tell you that story in a minute.
00:02:19.000 But near Bisbee, this woman, Dorothy, I think her name was, wrote to me, and she's like, dude, you're in southern Arizona.
00:02:26.000 You've got to drop in on my buddy, the rattlesnake guy.
00:02:31.000 Who's been studying rattlesnakes for 50 years by himself.
00:02:36.000 He's not looking for fame or anything, but I'll talk to him.
00:02:39.000 I think he'd like you and you guys would enjoy each other's company.
00:02:43.000 So I'm like, sure, I'll talk to the rattlesnake guys.
00:02:46.000 So he came out to this campsite and we hung out for the morning.
00:02:49.000 This guy is amazing.
00:02:51.000 John Porter is his name.
00:02:52.000 He's been studying snakes for 50 years.
00:02:54.000 He's just totally interested in them.
00:02:57.000 Lives on next to nothing in a trailer in the desert.
00:03:00.000 That's his focus.
00:03:01.000 He's been bit 15 times.
00:03:03.000 Jesus!
00:03:04.000 What keeps you fucking with snakes after bite number 11?
00:03:08.000 Yeah, I know.
00:03:09.000 Biting me 10 times, shame on me.
00:03:12.000 Fucking, this is bullshit.
00:03:14.000 This job sucks.
00:03:15.000 Like, how many years has he been doing it?
00:03:17.000 50 years.
00:03:18.000 50. He's almost 70. That's incredible.
00:03:20.000 And he's in really good shape.
00:03:21.000 He scrambles around in the hills and pulls snakes out of holes.
00:03:26.000 Wow.
00:03:27.000 Yeah, he's a really interesting cat.
00:03:29.000 And he's just like, that's his passion.
00:03:31.000 That's what he does.
00:03:32.000 Now, did he do the slow amount of venom in his system to try to make himself immune?
00:03:39.000 You can't be immune to it.
00:03:40.000 Because what I learned from him, one of many things I learned from him, is that rattlesnake venom is essentially digestive enzymes.
00:03:49.000 And what happens is, they bite an animal, the animal runs off 20 feet or something before it collapses.
00:03:57.000 The enzymes are...
00:03:59.000 They're digesting the animal from within because they don't have enough enzymes within their own digestive tract to digest the whole thing from outside, right?
00:04:10.000 So when they get the animal inside them, they're digesting it simultaneously from outside in and then from inside out.
00:04:17.000 So that's why...
00:04:19.000 What a monster.
00:04:20.000 These are the snakes that strike warm-blooded animals.
00:04:25.000 And then the ones that eat cold-blooded animals, they have the neurotoxins.
00:04:29.000 That's a different type of...
00:04:31.000 There's a terrifying video that I put on my Instagram a couple years ago, I think.
00:04:37.000 Is that rattlesnake one?
00:04:38.000 You'll never find it.
00:04:39.000 It's like way back there.
00:04:40.000 Jamie's smiling.
00:04:41.000 It's like, oh, it's a challenge.
00:04:43.000 I retweeted or reposted somebody else's.
00:04:46.000 Some guys were hunting and a rattlesnake was pulling a rabbit.
00:04:50.000 And just the way this demon thing just pulled this poor little fuzzy rabbit.
00:04:56.000 But I instantly made the differentiation.
00:04:59.000 I instantly differentiated which one I was on team.
00:05:03.000 Like, whose team I'm on.
00:05:04.000 I'm on team Fuffy.
00:05:05.000 Fluffy and furry, always.
00:05:06.000 Anything that's furry.
00:05:08.000 Well, unless you've got a gun or a bow in your hands.
00:05:12.000 Well, to eat it, yes.
00:05:13.000 I think the furry ones are most delicious.
00:05:15.000 No, no, I'm not judging it at all.
00:05:16.000 But what I'm saying is, but if something else was going after that snake, if something had killed, it's like a coyote had killed a snake, I really wouldn't be bothered by it.
00:05:25.000 If something that bothers me...
00:05:27.000 For whatever weird reason, I think of a rabbit as being not just a rodent and a life form.
00:05:32.000 I think of it being like fucking Peter Cottontail or something stupid.
00:05:36.000 That stuff's in your head.
00:05:37.000 Herbivores are innocent.
00:05:39.000 They're not out there fucking with other animals.
00:05:42.000 Very few.
00:05:44.000 Herbivores, sometimes they eat birds.
00:05:46.000 Yeah.
00:05:47.000 They eat birds when they can.
00:05:48.000 But they're more just opportunists.
00:05:49.000 Like if a bird can't move, they'll eat a baby bird.
00:05:52.000 Right.
00:05:52.000 Yeah.
00:05:52.000 What is this?
00:05:53.000 Is this a snake first rabbit?
00:05:56.000 No, it's actually dragging a rabbit in the desert, it looks like.
00:06:00.000 We're in the mountains.
00:06:01.000 Oh, yeah.
00:06:01.000 This is the one where the mom saves the babies.
00:06:04.000 Oh, is that what it was?
00:06:05.000 Yeah.
00:06:05.000 Oh, God.
00:06:06.000 That happened to me once.
00:06:07.000 Look at this.
00:06:08.000 The mom rabbit comes over.
00:06:09.000 Oh, she sees what's going on.
00:06:11.000 Wow, that is crazy.
00:06:14.000 That is fucking crazy.
00:06:17.000 No, that's not the one.
00:06:18.000 This one was a rattlesnake, a big-ass rattlesnake, and it was just the way it was dragging this rabbit around was so intense.
00:06:26.000 When I was a kid, I used to think I was an Indian, you know, and I'd wander around the neighborhood in a loincloth.
00:06:32.000 Are you allowed to do that today, or would you get culturally appropriated?
00:06:35.000 Probably.
00:06:37.000 I don't know.
00:06:38.000 Someone would come after you.
00:06:40.000 Probably.
00:06:40.000 I mean, in decent exposure, too, because I wasn't wearing underwear.
00:06:44.000 Oh, you're a terrible person.
00:06:47.000 What's your loincloth made out of?
00:06:48.000 A bath towel.
00:06:49.000 Purple bath towel.
00:06:51.000 So just folded in thirds and I'd have a belt and it would come up and hang down in the front and the back.
00:06:56.000 Seriously, I was totally into it.
00:06:58.000 But anyway, I was wandering around the neighborhood in my Indian thing and I saw this rabbit and there was a bush with these hard little fruits on it and I grabbed one of these fruits and I threw it at the rabbit.
00:07:10.000 I fucking hit it.
00:07:11.000 And the rabbit started flopping and boom!
00:07:14.000 Just lay there.
00:07:15.000 I was like, I just killed that fucking rabbit.
00:07:18.000 With a piece of fruit?
00:07:18.000 With a hard, like a little crab apple or something.
00:07:21.000 Right.
00:07:21.000 So I walk over and I look at the rabbit and it's just laying there and then I hear this squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak under this pine tree and I go, and there's this nest of Little baby rabbits with their eyes still closed.
00:07:33.000 Little tiny ones.
00:07:35.000 I just fucking killed their mother, dude.
00:07:38.000 I was like 10 maybe.
00:07:39.000 Oh, what a bummer.
00:07:42.000 So I took the babies home crying.
00:07:45.000 She really did kill the mother with a crab apple.
00:07:47.000 Yeah.
00:07:48.000 Dude, you should have went major league.
00:07:49.000 You should have been playing for the fucking Dodgers.
00:07:52.000 Well, check it out.
00:07:53.000 You got that kind of pitch?
00:07:53.000 So I took the babies home and the next door neighbor, my friend's mother, was a nurse.
00:07:59.000 And I showed her and she had like a syringe without the needle and she showed me you have to mix, can't give them straight milk because the rabbit milk is thinner so you have to mix water with it and all this stuff and I was feeding them and then I went back actually a little while later,
00:08:15.000 maybe, I don't know, the next day or something and the big rabbit was gone.
00:08:20.000 Which then later in life, I thought maybe it wasn't dead.
00:08:23.000 Maybe it was faking it to try to save the babies to distract me somehow.
00:08:28.000 More likely you KO'd it.
00:08:29.000 Maybe just a knockout.
00:08:31.000 Yeah, you knocked out the rabbit.
00:08:32.000 That makes sense.
00:08:33.000 Because if you get hit in the head with something that you don't see coming, it's very likely your brain could just shut off.
00:08:38.000 Right.
00:08:39.000 Yeah.
00:08:40.000 So anyway, I raised these rabbits.
00:08:44.000 Until, I don't know, a few weeks until their eyes opened.
00:08:47.000 Wow.
00:08:48.000 Yeah.
00:08:48.000 And then what did you do with them?
00:08:49.000 Boil them or fry them?
00:08:50.000 Yeah.
00:08:51.000 No, then we had to go visit my uncle in Ohio.
00:08:56.000 And I left the rabbits with this girl and told her how to take care of them and all that.
00:09:01.000 And the girl apparently forgot about mixing the water.
00:09:06.000 And so by the time I got back after a three-day weekend, a couple of them had died, but she didn't want to tell me.
00:09:14.000 And, you know, we were 10, 11. And actually it was all through the biology teacher and then it turned out by the time that she told them they were all dead.
00:09:23.000 They all just died.
00:09:24.000 They probably would have had a hard go of it anyway.
00:09:27.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:09:28.000 That's crazy.
00:09:30.000 Maybe you missed your calling.
00:09:31.000 Baseball?
00:09:32.000 Might have been you.
00:09:32.000 I find baseball so boring, though.
00:09:34.000 It's definitely boring.
00:09:35.000 It's one of those things that you couldn't, and people right now are screaming, fuck you!
00:09:39.000 Yeah, well, your fans hate me anyway.
00:09:41.000 That's not true.
00:09:42.000 That's definitely not true.
00:09:43.000 I see it occasionally.
00:09:44.000 You can't pay attention to those comments.
00:09:46.000 Oh, I don't.
00:09:46.000 First of all, they're amusing.
00:09:48.000 They're only the people that would comment something shitty.
00:09:50.000 They're the only ones that are going to get to you, right?
00:09:53.000 There's a lot of cuck beta stuff.
00:09:56.000 Oh, that kind of stuff.
00:09:57.000 Because they assume I'm in an open relationship and so therefore there's all that kind of stuff.
00:10:02.000 Yeah, that cuck thing.
00:10:03.000 That's interesting.
00:10:04.000 Anyone who would call someone else a cuck or a beta male is.
00:10:09.000 Most likely.
00:10:10.000 I don't think you could say anyone because sometimes people just are and some people say it and they're correct.
00:10:15.000 But I think, for the most part, the need to shut someone down.
00:10:19.000 You're not in an argument.
00:10:21.000 You aren't in an argument with them.
00:10:22.000 You don't know them.
00:10:23.000 So why are they insulting you?
00:10:25.000 Why are they going after you?
00:10:26.000 It's because of an insecurity.
00:10:27.000 But it's also because of this weird way of expressing ourselves on Twitter and Facebook and stuff.
00:10:34.000 It's just too instant.
00:10:36.000 That instantaneous ability to just go after something, you don't meet them, you don't establish a friendship with them, you don't talk to them at all.
00:10:42.000 That's why I'm saying it's a reflection.
00:10:43.000 As a psychologist, I find it really interesting because it's, you know, you see these guys, every fucking day there's another story about an anti-gay pro.
00:10:54.000 You know, minister who's been sucking little boys dicks every day.
00:10:59.000 Or even big black guy dicks.
00:11:00.000 Whatever he can get.
00:11:01.000 Whatever dick is available.
00:11:03.000 Whatever dicks he's into.
00:11:04.000 But if he's trying to like pray the gay away, for sure there's some gays going on somewhere.
00:11:09.000 I think we reveal our deepest secrets in our loudest accusations.
00:11:13.000 I think you're right.
00:11:14.000 You know, and so this whole the trolling and stuff going on online is interesting because people don't realize that they're exposing themselves.
00:11:22.000 Right.
00:11:23.000 Yeah, well, it's also a really shitty way of interacting with humans that some people participate in almost exclusively.
00:11:32.000 Like, there's some people right now in our culture that They're communicating with people, but the people that they're communicating with, they're only communicating with people online.
00:11:42.000 They're only doing it through Twitter or Facebook or however they do it.
00:11:46.000 So their days are spent interacting just randomly with people tweeting at them and reading tweets or reading message board posts or posts.
00:11:58.000 Posting things or reading Instagram You know passages all they're doing is interacting with people online and I just think there's a lot of kids developing that way because they're not even even when they're around each other they're spending more time Communicating with people through a device than they are doing it face to face because they're always distracted and And I feel like this is a very – it's not indicative of how we evolved.
00:12:26.000 Like this method of communication.
00:12:29.000 Like people say there's way more hate today than there's ever been before.
00:12:32.000 I don't think so.
00:12:33.000 I think it's the same amount of hate.
00:12:35.000 There's just this new weird form of expression that doesn't make you take into consideration the other people's feelings.
00:12:40.000 It's like the only time we've ever had something like that.
00:12:42.000 If you killed someone or you beat someone up and you looked at them and they looked at you and you knew that you hated them, at least that's an honest attack.
00:12:51.000 But if you want something terrible to happen to someone and you don't even know them, he just heard him on a podcast, he was a guest and he annoyed you, so you want terrible things to happen to him.
00:13:01.000 You don't even know him.
00:13:03.000 It's like traffic anger.
00:13:05.000 Fuck you!
00:13:07.000 You don't know that guy in that car.
00:13:09.000 You know where that comes from, right?
00:13:11.000 Traffic anger?
00:13:12.000 It comes from a heightened sense of awareness because you're going so fast.
00:13:15.000 Because you're in your car.
00:13:16.000 You're scared.
00:13:17.000 You're ramped up.
00:13:18.000 You're looking constantly for anything to go wrong.
00:13:21.000 You can't be at zero and just drive.
00:13:23.000 When you're driving, you're very aware that you're at the wheel of a big fucking thing.
00:13:27.000 And then car accidents happen and people die in them.
00:13:29.000 Well, everybody's aware of that, so you get ramped up.
00:13:32.000 Although, it's funny.
00:13:33.000 I rode a motorcycle every day for about seven years, and I felt very calm on the motorcycle.
00:13:39.000 I think because...
00:13:40.000 Freedom.
00:13:41.000 Freedom and vulnerability.
00:13:43.000 Yeah, both.
00:13:44.000 Did you have a Harley?
00:13:45.000 No, I had a BMW. I knew it.
00:13:47.000 I'm a BMW guy.
00:13:48.000 I'm not a Harley guy.
00:13:50.000 Some European thing that drives too good.
00:13:52.000 Fine, low center of gravity.
00:13:54.000 Yeah, I drove that like a grandpa too.
00:13:56.000 I was like, I never got pulled over.
00:13:58.000 I was in Spain.
00:13:59.000 I never had a Spanish license.
00:14:01.000 Really?
00:14:01.000 Yeah.
00:14:02.000 That's amazing.
00:14:02.000 Maybe you shouldn't say that online.
00:14:04.000 Probably not.
00:14:05.000 It's too late now.
00:14:06.000 I'm out!
00:14:08.000 Yeah, but the thing in Spain is funny because if you come from Mexico, Uganda, wherever, and you immigrate to Spain and you get residency, you have to turn in your driver's license and they'll give you a Spanish license, right?
00:14:23.000 The only country where they won't honor your license is the United States.
00:14:27.000 Wow.
00:14:28.000 You've got to go to driving school.
00:14:30.000 That bullshit, night school for six weeks, take the ridiculous test that's designed to trick you and the translation into English is incomprehensible.
00:14:39.000 And then you've got to do it again.
00:14:41.000 It's like 4,000 euros.
00:14:42.000 It's a giant scam.
00:14:44.000 And it's only for us?
00:14:46.000 Only for America.
00:14:47.000 And the reason is that all these Spanish kids were coming to the U.S. doing like high school exchange thing.
00:14:54.000 And you have to be 18 to get a driver's license in Spain, but in the US, 16, obviously.
00:14:59.000 So they would come here, and at 16, they'd get a driver's license.
00:15:01.000 And then they'd go back to Spain and say, hey, give me the license.
00:15:05.000 You got to do it.
00:15:06.000 And so Spain, they talked to the American government, like, hey, stop giving Spanish kids licenses.
00:15:12.000 And the US is like, fuck you.
00:15:13.000 We do it the way we do it.
00:15:14.000 We're number one.
00:15:15.000 And so Spain was like, all right, then fuck Americans.
00:15:19.000 Yeah.
00:15:19.000 And so now it's this giant pain in the ass if you're an American living in Spain.
00:15:24.000 Oh, man.
00:15:24.000 So what happens if you get caught and you don't have a license?
00:15:26.000 If you're driving around?
00:15:27.000 You get a fine.
00:15:28.000 How much?
00:15:29.000 A few hundred euros.
00:15:30.000 That seems like a bargain.
00:15:31.000 That's what I figured.
00:15:32.000 You got to get paid over ten times to get pulled over?
00:15:34.000 That's what I figured.
00:15:35.000 I was like, what you do is you pretend you're a tourist.
00:15:38.000 Right.
00:15:39.000 Just in town.
00:15:40.000 Have your passport.
00:15:41.000 Right.
00:15:41.000 You know, don't have a vehicle registered in your name.
00:15:44.000 Not that I would ever do any of these things.
00:15:46.000 Yeah, I was reading about expats and about people who just decide to just go and move over to Europe for a while.
00:15:55.000 It's such an adventuresome thing to do, if you really think about it.
00:15:59.000 As an American, because Americans are for sure locked into our way of thinking.
00:16:05.000 I don't want to speak for the whole group, but when you think of the typical American, you think of someone who just, they like things the way they have them here.
00:16:15.000 This is the best.
00:16:16.000 We're number one.
00:16:17.000 Well, those are the people expats are getting away from.
00:16:20.000 Yeah.
00:16:21.000 But the point is, if you even have a niggling of that, and then you decide to move to Italy for a year, that will go away.
00:16:29.000 You will realize, like, oh, okay.
00:16:31.000 I think that's one of the reasons why people cling so hard to those norms.
00:16:36.000 I go, because they know.
00:16:37.000 I think they know that Cambodia is different.
00:16:40.000 And if they were living in Cambodia, they'd be living like Cambodians.
00:16:43.000 They know that Laos is different.
00:16:45.000 They know that Vietnam is different.
00:16:46.000 How could that be?
00:16:47.000 How could these people in these other places...
00:16:50.000 Yeah.
00:17:00.000 Yeah.
00:17:10.000 And from a Laotian's perspective, he got the seven and you got the three.
00:17:14.000 Oh, for sure.
00:17:15.000 You make some guy take a cubicle job.
00:17:17.000 He's used to working outside in beautiful weather.
00:17:21.000 Laos is great.
00:17:22.000 I've been there.
00:17:22.000 Have you?
00:17:23.000 It's a beautiful, beautiful country.
00:17:24.000 It's gorgeous on video.
00:17:25.000 I've never seen it in real life.
00:17:27.000 But that whole thing is just- Well, that's why I traveled all through my 20s and 30s was for that insight.
00:17:34.000 Yeah, you got to see it.
00:17:35.000 You got to see it and you got to- In person, right?
00:17:38.000 Yeah, and you got to- Move slowly enough that you, Joseph Campbell called it detribalization, right?
00:17:46.000 To understand that you are from a tribe, right?
00:17:50.000 Everybody thinks everyone else has an accent, but I don't.
00:17:53.000 You know, there are all these biases that we're unaware of until you get out and look back at yourself and where you came from.
00:18:01.000 And so I was, you know, I was based in Spain for 25 years.
00:18:05.000 So I really, you know, got into Spain.
00:18:08.000 I've lived in Spain longer than I've lived in any other country.
00:18:11.000 But you don't speak Spanish.
00:18:12.000 Sure I do.
00:18:13.000 Por supuesto, gilipollas.
00:18:15.000 ¿Qué dices?
00:18:18.000 I speak badly.
00:18:21.000 But you speak it.
00:18:21.000 Yeah, I understand everything, and I sound like...
00:18:25.000 I gave a talk in Argentina once, and they came up after, and they said I sounded like...
00:18:30.000 Somebody said I sounded like a Catalan gringo, because I learned Spanish in Catalonia.
00:18:35.000 So I have this very specific accent in Spanish, which I'm totally unaware of, of course.
00:18:41.000 Okay.
00:18:41.000 Intellectually, that makes sense to me.
00:18:43.000 But my brain is like, what?
00:18:45.000 Different Spanish accent?
00:18:47.000 How the fuck could you tell?
00:18:49.000 Obviously, you can.
00:18:50.000 It's like a Spanish person who learns English in Scotland.
00:18:53.000 Right.
00:18:53.000 They sound Scottish when they speak English.
00:18:56.000 Yeah, for sure.
00:18:58.000 Or, I mean, how many number of people that come from other countries that speak Spanish, or speak English, rather, but they speak it with the accent of their place.
00:19:05.000 Canadians?
00:19:05.000 Even Canadians.
00:19:06.000 It's so subtle.
00:19:07.000 About?
00:19:08.000 About?
00:19:08.000 Yeah.
00:19:09.000 Yeah, I went to university.
00:19:11.000 Yeah.
00:19:11.000 You know, and you hear A a few two times, and they're a little bit too polite.
00:19:14.000 You're like, hey, where are you from?
00:19:16.000 Yeah.
00:19:17.000 I love fucking with Canadians.
00:19:19.000 I ask them where they're from, or what part of the states are you from?
00:19:21.000 And they say, I'm from Canada.
00:19:22.000 I'm like, yeah, yeah, whatever.
00:19:26.000 James Brown has a song called Living in the USA. Right.
00:19:29.000 And he goes through and, you know, how he does, like, he calls out cities.
00:19:32.000 Right.
00:19:33.000 You know, it's New York, Pittsburgh, B.A., Toronto.
00:19:37.000 He says Toronto.
00:19:39.000 Well, it's living in North America.
00:19:41.000 Sort of.
00:19:42.000 I guess that's his thing, right?
00:19:43.000 Hey, Mexico's North America, too.
00:19:45.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:19:46.000 Isn't that crazy?
00:19:47.000 Mexico's North America.
00:19:48.000 My first apartment in Barcelona, I shared with this guy named Rogelio Gutierrez from Colombia.
00:19:56.000 That's a fucking serious name.
00:19:58.000 And I was just learning Spanish then, and he got really pissed off at me when I said I was American, because he's like, we're all Americans, dude.
00:20:07.000 Colombia is South America.
00:20:09.000 America is the whole Western Hemisphere, and you arrogant fucking estadounidenses.
00:20:15.000 That's what I had to learn to say.
00:20:17.000 In Spanish, that means from the United States, right?
00:20:20.000 Estados, States, Unidenses, are united.
00:20:26.000 I used to remember that.
00:20:28.000 I used to remember Estado.
00:20:30.000 Do you speak any foreign language?
00:20:33.000 No.
00:20:33.000 No.
00:20:34.000 I took Italian in college and Spanish in high school and I remembered none of it.
00:20:40.000 I took three years of German in middle school, high school, because I initially signed up for Spanish, which would have been the smart move.
00:20:51.000 But then over the summer, I was like eighth grade, I think.
00:20:54.000 And over the summer, this girl named Judy Gumpf, who I just lusted after Judy Gumpf.
00:21:01.000 Tell me about Judy.
00:21:03.000 Judy Gumpf was like the 15-year-old who was totally built and, you know, gorgeous and smart and going out with a 23-year-old dude with a Camaro.
00:21:16.000 And here I am with my zits and braces, and I'm thinking I got a shot at Judy Gumpf.
00:21:21.000 So she was taking German.
00:21:23.000 And she said, oh, but there are only eight people in the class.
00:21:25.000 I don't know if they're going to do it because you should have nine.
00:21:28.000 And I was like, Judy, I'm going to call the school and switch over to German.
00:21:32.000 I did.
00:21:33.000 I sat in that class for three years with Herr Flint.
00:21:37.000 And Judy.
00:21:38.000 Never had a shot at Judy, of course.
00:21:40.000 And then Herr Flint.
00:21:41.000 I have no talent for language.
00:21:44.000 I'm all right in English, but when you start talking grammar in the accusative case, and in German there are three genders, and there's die, der, das, masculine, feminine, and neutral, and every noun has a gender, and it's Like a fucking nightmare.
00:22:01.000 So it's neutral for objects, like das Boot?
00:22:03.000 Yeah, right, objects.
00:22:05.000 But also it's weird because, like, Mädchen, girl, is neutral.
00:22:11.000 And you would think girl would have a fucking feminine gender, right?
00:22:15.000 Girl's neutral.
00:22:15.000 Yeah, das Mädchen.
00:22:17.000 But anyway, Herr Flint was also the soccer coach.
00:22:22.000 So we sort of had this unspoken agreement that if I was on the soccer team, He would pass me in German, even though I was lost constantly.
00:22:32.000 I mean, I would have failed out for sure, but he would give me a C as long as I was on the soccer team.
00:22:37.000 Not that I was any soccer star, it's just that he needed enough people on the team that they'd keep paying him or they'd shut it down.
00:22:45.000 So my memory of German is basically humiliation from Judy Gumpf, because I never got anywhere, Humiliation in the class because I couldn't understand a fucking thing.
00:22:54.000 And humiliation on the soccer field because not only did I suck at soccer, but he would scream at me in German.
00:23:02.000 Because I was in the German class.
00:23:04.000 So it was like, it was my tutoring or something.
00:23:07.000 So like, yeah, yeah, okay.
00:23:11.000 In my Italian class in high school, there was this really friendly, beautiful Puerto Rican girl.
00:23:16.000 She was beautiful.
00:23:18.000 Like, she was the type of girl that I would have been way too nervous to ask out.
00:23:21.000 Or way too nervous to approach.
00:23:23.000 I just would have needed a bunch of green lights to talk to her.
00:23:27.000 I'd be super nervous.
00:23:28.000 But she would approach me.
00:23:29.000 And she was always inviting me to go places with her.
00:23:31.000 Her and her friends.
00:23:33.000 And I'm like, well, what are you guys doing?
00:23:34.000 Well, we're going, you know, like a camp out.
00:23:36.000 We're going to do this thing.
00:23:37.000 And there was this getaway for the weekend.
00:23:41.000 Like, one of them I couldn't do.
00:23:42.000 So I was fighting back then.
00:23:44.000 One of them I couldn't do because I had a fight.
00:23:46.000 And one of them I couldn't do because I think...
00:23:51.000 I don't remember what the fucking reason was.
00:23:53.000 But it was enough of a reason that I would say no to this hot Puerto Rican girl who asked me to go somewhere with her on the weekend.
00:23:59.000 That's beta cuck behavior, Joe.
00:24:01.000 She was so hot.
00:24:02.000 She was so hot.
00:24:02.000 She was built like a woman.
00:24:04.000 I mean, we're both...
00:24:04.000 I think I was probably...
00:24:07.000 19?
00:24:08.000 And so she was probably 19 too?
00:24:09.000 She was a phenom.
00:24:12.000 I mean her body was just holy shit.
00:24:13.000 Super duper pretty and super duper friendly.
00:24:16.000 So I'm thinking one day this is gonna happen, right?
00:24:19.000 Yeah.
00:24:20.000 So I go to the lunchroom one day and it was the day that it was a Trump airplane.
00:24:25.000 I know I've talked about this before.
00:24:26.000 The Trump airline, the runway gear didn't come down and it skid.
00:24:32.000 Like remember when Trump had an airline?
00:24:34.000 Do you remember that?
00:24:34.000 Vaguely.
00:24:35.000 Yeah, he had a fucking airline.
00:24:37.000 Big Trump on the side of it.
00:24:38.000 Of course.
00:24:39.000 And I'm pretty sure it was him, or maybe it was JetBlue.
00:24:42.000 Now that I think about it, it might not have been Trump.
00:24:45.000 Or it might have happened either way.
00:24:48.000 This airplane skid in, you know, they had to foam up the runway, the whole deal, and things skid in without the gear.
00:24:53.000 And I showed up, and it was her and her friends, landing gear fails on Trump jet.
00:24:59.000 No injuries.
00:24:59.000 Okay.
00:25:00.000 1989. That is it.
00:25:01.000 That's exactly when it was happening.
00:25:03.000 You were in high school in 1989. No, so if that was 89, that must have been I was 21. No, that doesn't make sense.
00:25:12.000 There must have been another one.
00:25:13.000 See if there was one from earlier.
00:25:15.000 Because when I was 21, I had already given up on the idea of college.
00:25:19.000 I thought you were going to say, given up on the idea of her.
00:25:22.000 No, I was like, what am I doing?
00:25:23.000 When I was 21, I was like, this is just too ridiculous.
00:25:26.000 And then I started doing stand-up.
00:25:29.000 In 87, there was a Mexico City air disaster, Belize Air International Mexico City crash.
00:25:36.000 No, it wasn't a crash.
00:25:36.000 It was the same thing.
00:25:37.000 The landing gear wouldn't drop down.
00:25:39.000 I typed in airline runway gear.
00:25:40.000 Man, my memory sucks.
00:25:41.000 Was it in Boston?
00:25:42.000 It was in Boston, yeah.
00:25:43.000 Oh, there you go.
00:25:44.000 Yeah, I just can't imagine that I was...
00:25:46.000 89, I was 21. Anyway, so what happened with the woman?
00:25:50.000 Yeah, no, it's definitely not 89 because I was already doing stand-up by 89. So, I... Sorry.
00:25:57.000 I sit down.
00:25:58.000 Hundreds of thousands of people are going, Joe, get back to the Puerto Rican.
00:26:00.000 I sit down and I say, did you guys hear what happened today at the airport?
00:26:06.000 And they're like, no, what happened?
00:26:07.000 I go, this jet came in and the landing gear didn't drop, so it had a skid across the runway.
00:26:13.000 I go, but everybody's okay.
00:26:15.000 And they all go, praise God.
00:26:17.000 Oh, praise God.
00:26:18.000 And I went, oh.
00:26:21.000 That's the weekend getaway.
00:26:22.000 This is the weekend getaway.
00:26:24.000 It's an indoctrination to a Christian cult.
00:26:26.000 They were bananas.
00:26:28.000 And they were super proselytizing.
00:26:30.000 They would go everywhere and sit down with people that were by themselves.
00:26:33.000 And if they thought you were lonely or an outcast, they would send in the hot one.
00:26:39.000 She would come and sit next to you and invite you places.
00:26:42.000 And then they'd pull you into the fold.
00:26:43.000 And they were just recruiting people left and right to join.
00:26:46.000 And then, like, I noticed as the class would go on, like, later in the semester, I noticed some of the people from the class were now in that little tight group.
00:26:53.000 And they'd all, like, hang together.
00:26:55.000 It was very strange.
00:26:56.000 I was like, I was watching people get, like...
00:26:59.000 They got culted up.
00:27:01.000 I mean, I was watching it happen.
00:27:02.000 But it was all like standard Christian stuff, but extremely involved in your life, very rabid, and recruiting, proselytizing everywhere.
00:27:15.000 And the fact that this happened, it was very strange, because I was like, you dummy, of course she doesn't like you.
00:27:20.000 She wants to bring you to Jesus.
00:27:24.000 Well, you know, maybe she was gonna fuck you to Jesus.
00:27:27.000 I didn't think so.
00:27:28.000 Yeah.
00:27:29.000 I didn't have much confidence back then, believe it or not.
00:27:31.000 I didn't think it was gonna happen.
00:27:32.000 You know, does anyone have confidence at 19, 20?
00:27:36.000 Really dumb kids.
00:27:38.000 Yeah.
00:27:39.000 That's it.
00:27:39.000 When I was 19, I was like, nothing made any sense.
00:27:43.000 I might have been 20 when it happened.
00:27:45.000 Yeah.
00:27:45.000 If you think you got it figured out at 19 or 20, you're destined for a life, you know, stacking shelves somewhere.
00:27:51.000 I can't imagine it was in an 89. It doesn't make any sense unless my whole timeline for when I quit college is off.
00:27:58.000 I just finished binge-watching this new Netflix documentary about the Rajneeshi, you know, the sannyasins in Oregon.
00:28:05.000 Is that the Wild West?
00:28:06.000 Wild, Wild Country.
00:28:07.000 Wild, Wild Country, yeah.
00:28:08.000 That's amazing.
00:28:09.000 It's really good.
00:28:10.000 How many episodes?
00:28:12.000 Six episodes, I think.
00:28:14.000 Yeah, we just binge-watched it.
00:28:16.000 I have a buddy who was a sannyasin for 15 years, maybe, something like that.
00:28:21.000 He wasn't in Oregon, though.
00:28:23.000 He was always in India.
00:28:25.000 But yeah, that's very interesting.
00:28:27.000 And the whole sort of appeal of the cult and the hunger to be part of this community.
00:28:33.000 It's a very interesting documentary.
00:28:36.000 Well, I don't think it'd be very hard at all to start a cult.
00:28:41.000 I just don't think it's very difficult.
00:28:43.000 Well, some people would say you already have.
00:28:46.000 Well, maybe, but you could do whatever you want.
00:28:51.000 No one's asking you for a membership fee.
00:28:56.000 How many Rolls Royces do you have?
00:28:57.000 I don't have any.
00:28:58.000 You need to step up your game there.
00:29:00.000 Those aren't the way to go.
00:29:01.000 You're like, instead of the Rolls Royces, you've got the Porsches.
00:29:04.000 I like old cars.
00:29:05.000 You're the Porsche guru.
00:29:06.000 This is what I'm realizing.
00:29:07.000 I like old cars.
00:29:08.000 Old cars.
00:29:09.000 We're good to go.
00:29:30.000 Anyway, so I was talking with Mickey and it turns out Mickey restores antique cars.
00:29:37.000 Wow.
00:29:37.000 And he's got like 20 of them.
00:29:38.000 Like Model Ts and shit.
00:29:40.000 Oh, that's awesome.
00:29:41.000 Like really interesting cars.
00:29:43.000 They're art, man.
00:29:44.000 Yeah.
00:29:45.000 This is what an old car, it's a different thing, you know?
00:29:49.000 It's cool to see the process of them figuring out how to design cars at faster and faster speeds.
00:29:56.000 Is that his car?
00:29:57.000 Oh my god, look at that thing.
00:29:59.000 God, that's beautiful.
00:30:00.000 What is that?
00:30:01.000 61 Impala.
00:30:02.000 A Rockford Fosgate equipped 61 Impala.
00:30:06.000 I love that sort of art deco lines.
00:30:09.000 Yeah, so what he's doing is, I mean, I think that is what they would call a resto mod.
00:30:17.000 That's the best of both worlds.
00:30:19.000 They take an old car and they put modern brakes and modern suspension.
00:30:23.000 And they're just safer and they ride better.
00:30:25.000 You can even swap out the engine, right?
00:30:28.000 Oh yeah, they all do.
00:30:29.000 A lot of them do, I should say.
00:30:31.000 They use modern fuel-injected engines.
00:30:34.000 You can buy them from almost all the companies.
00:30:37.000 Ford sells crate engines and people put them in old Mustangs.
00:30:40.000 It's amazing.
00:30:41.000 I love those old Mustangs split rear window.
00:30:44.000 Some of those cars are just, you look at them and you're like, God damn, how did they do it so good then?
00:30:51.000 And why, like you look at those old Mustangs or old Corvettes, like there are a few years where Corvettes just couldn't have been more beautiful.
00:30:58.000 Have you ever seen my 1965?
00:31:00.000 I don't think so.
00:31:01.000 Dude, it's the greatest car I've ever seen in my life.
00:31:05.000 I have a 1965 silver 1965 Corvette convertible.
00:31:09.000 Wow.
00:31:09.000 And I just sit in front of it.
00:31:11.000 I think I may have seen it.
00:31:12.000 Did you and Jay Leno drive around in that?
00:31:14.000 Yes, exactly.
00:31:15.000 Were you in Topanga?
00:31:18.000 No.
00:31:18.000 I remember watching that clip and thinking, oh yeah, look at that.
00:31:22.000 No, we went to the Angels Crest Highway.
00:31:25.000 That car is two years older than me.
00:31:28.000 Sort of.
00:31:28.000 See, but sort of is the real thing.
00:31:30.000 Like, the outside is.
00:31:31.000 But everything in the inside, as far as, like, dashboard and stuff is...
00:31:35.000 Well, you've had the hip replacements and stuff.
00:31:37.000 Those are new.
00:31:38.000 Of all my joints.
00:31:38.000 Yeah.
00:31:39.000 This car's got...
00:31:40.000 Titanium.
00:31:40.000 Everything in that car is modern, in terms of, like, the brakes and the engine.
00:31:46.000 The engine's from a 2007 Corvette.
00:31:48.000 Yeah.
00:31:48.000 They just do that.
00:31:49.000 And that way, like, you're driving around in an old car, but it brakes good.
00:31:54.000 It handles good.
00:31:55.000 It's not a death trap.
00:31:56.000 Right.
00:31:57.000 You know?
00:31:58.000 But as getting back to the cult thing, I think some of the mechanisms, the psychological mechanisms that make that possible apply to what's happening in podcasting these days.
00:32:10.000 Yes.
00:32:11.000 And the beautiful thing about podcasting is so far no one has taken advantage of it and started some compound somewhere and banged everybody's wife.
00:32:20.000 Are we on?
00:32:22.000 Is this thing on?
00:32:24.000 And required you to give up all of your financial money and all of your worldly goods.
00:32:29.000 I got a Patreon account though.
00:32:31.000 You ever see the Australian guy that said he was Jesus?
00:32:34.000 Uh-uh.
00:32:35.000 Pretty fucking interesting.
00:32:36.000 Because there's this whole documentary on it, and he has this woman, and the woman said that he said that she was Mary.
00:32:43.000 Then, like halfway to the documentary, it revealed that there was another girl in the past, and he said she was Mary too.
00:32:51.000 That girl thinks she's Mary, and he thinks he's Jesus.
00:32:54.000 It's fucking hilarious.
00:32:55.000 Well, Mary was Jesus' mother, right?
00:32:58.000 Yes.
00:32:59.000 But they're partying together and banging because they're reincarnated.
00:33:02.000 It's not really Mary.
00:33:03.000 So Jesus is a motherfucker in this guy's view?
00:33:06.000 Jesus is his own motherfucker.
00:33:08.000 Imagine?
00:33:09.000 I don't know.
00:33:10.000 I love my...
00:33:11.000 I don't know.
00:33:13.000 Sorry, she's not Mary the mother.
00:33:15.000 She's Mary Magdalene the prostitute.
00:33:16.000 Oh, the prostitute.
00:33:18.000 There you go.
00:33:19.000 Now it's fitting into place.
00:33:21.000 Maybe the other Mary was the mom.
00:33:23.000 It's the lost gospel.
00:33:25.000 It's the lost gospel!
00:33:27.000 Is that what he said?
00:33:29.000 Dan Brown, right?
00:33:30.000 Yeah, that Jesus was hanging with the hookers and very accepting of sex workers.
00:33:38.000 Yeah, why not?
00:33:39.000 I mean, God made people horny.
00:33:40.000 God knew what he was doing.
00:33:42.000 But God made us monogamous, Joe.
00:33:45.000 Oh, yes.
00:33:45.000 Don't get me started.
00:33:46.000 It's one of the reasons why I wanted to have you on.
00:33:49.000 I have an intervention on behalf of Brett Weinstein.
00:33:53.000 Yeah, are you going to get me married?
00:33:54.000 You know, I told you in an email that I felt bad when your book came up on the show and I didn't know how to defend it.
00:34:01.000 I didn't know what to do because I was in that weird moment where I was recommending it because I like it because I think it's a great book.
00:34:08.000 And he was saying that it just...
00:34:10.000 It's debunked.
00:34:12.000 Well, I think you said you cherry-picked data, right?
00:34:16.000 Which is always weird.
00:34:17.000 Well, the thing is, any sort of popular non-fiction book is...
00:34:24.000 You have to choose what data you're going to include, right?
00:34:27.000 I mean, there's an infinite amount of data.
00:34:29.000 And so, of course, you form an argument and then you present data that supports your argument.
00:34:35.000 Did you ever consider arguing against yourself?
00:34:38.000 Sure.
00:34:39.000 Yeah.
00:34:39.000 And in fact, the book is...
00:34:42.000 You know, the book is written as an argument against the standard narrative.
00:34:46.000 So, you know, we had to present this.
00:34:48.000 What is the standard narrative?
00:34:49.000 Who believes this?
00:34:50.000 You know, who thinks that people evolved as monogamous?
00:34:53.000 And so we quote quite heavily from those people.
00:34:56.000 But, you know, the thing is, and I really appreciate your email and, you know, we don't need to talk about this at any length.
00:35:05.000 But it's not your job to defend the book, and it's not even my job, really, to defend the book.
00:35:11.000 I think once a book is out, it's out.
00:35:13.000 The book is there.
00:35:14.000 But isn't it—it's not just the book.
00:35:17.000 It's that when someone goes hard— On a book, they're doing it about you as well.
00:35:24.000 It's the expression of your work.
00:35:27.000 But see, that's the thing.
00:35:27.000 I don't accept that association.
00:35:30.000 And so, if somebody wants to critique the book, that's totally cool.
00:35:35.000 And like, look, are there things that we may have misunderstood?
00:35:40.000 Of course.
00:35:41.000 Are there things we left out?
00:35:42.000 Of course there are.
00:35:43.000 You know, mistakes?
00:35:44.000 Of course.
00:35:46.000 Right.
00:35:46.000 You're a human.
00:35:47.000 You made a book.
00:35:48.000 There are hundreds of citations in that book.
00:35:50.000 Now, if somebody says, as people have, like, you know, Chris Ryan, you know, deliberately misrepresented the science or doesn't understand the first thing about evolution or, you know, whatever it is.
00:36:04.000 I just don't engage because that's emotional.
00:36:08.000 It's like what we were saying earlier about comments online.
00:36:10.000 I think people react to sex at dawn very emotionally.
00:36:15.000 And so if they're reacting emotionally, there's no point in me engaging with them because they're expressing something that's going on in their lives that I don't know anything about and they're suffering in some way.
00:36:28.000 I'm not talking about Brett Weinstein or anybody specifically.
00:36:33.000 There's an emotional reason to have that kind of reaction.
00:36:36.000 Whereas if somebody says, look, on page, you know, 72, you said that bonobos are the only ape that does this and actually gibbons do it as well.
00:36:45.000 Okay, we can talk about that.
00:36:47.000 You know, that's factual.
00:36:49.000 Right.
00:36:49.000 So when people say, oh, it's cherry-picked, well, which cherries?
00:36:52.000 What are you talking about?
00:36:54.000 Right.
00:36:54.000 What specific thing and what's wrong with it?
00:36:56.000 Right.
00:36:56.000 Instead of saying it's cherry-picking this vast general critique of the book.
00:37:01.000 Right.
00:37:02.000 And if it gets about me, like, oh, that's because he wants to get laid.
00:37:06.000 Well, that was one of the arguments, right?
00:37:08.000 Was that it would be a good book to write, I think.
00:37:11.000 I don't remember if he said it or if his wife said it, that it would be a good book.
00:37:14.000 And I really love those two.
00:37:15.000 They're great.
00:37:16.000 They're cool.
00:37:17.000 I just think...
00:37:19.000 When it comes to monogamy and sexuality, people have a notion in their head and that notion almost always aligns with how they're living their life.
00:37:28.000 Or how they wish they were living their lives.
00:37:30.000 Yeah, maybe.
00:37:31.000 And again, we're not talking about specific people here.
00:37:33.000 I've never met them.
00:37:34.000 No, they're a great couple.
00:37:36.000 They're wonderful people.
00:37:37.000 But I mean, there's something about the subject of your book.
00:37:40.000 I think I told you this before without naming any names.
00:37:43.000 My friend brought your book home and his wife threw it away.
00:37:46.000 Yeah, you and I talked about that on the very first podcast, actually.
00:37:52.000 I've run into this a lot.
00:37:54.000 You can imagine cocktail parties with me can get awkward very quickly.
00:37:57.000 Oh, for sure.
00:37:58.000 Because people ask, oh, wait, you're the guy?
00:38:00.000 Yeah.
00:38:01.000 And then often you'll see some people are very eager to hear about it and talk about it, and other people are just steams coming out of their ears.
00:38:11.000 I think a lot of people are in relationships that they're trying to make fit into what they believe is the right way to have a relationship.
00:38:23.000 And often it just doesn't work.
00:38:26.000 And so there's a lot of shame and regret and resentment and all kinds of negative energy around that.
00:38:35.000 And so any discussion where you're saying, well, maybe that's not actually the way...
00:38:43.000 I think?
00:39:01.000 When people get all riled up, I've learned to just be like, yeah, you know what, that's fine.
00:39:06.000 That's between you and the book.
00:39:07.000 That's a very healthy approach.
00:39:09.000 Good for you.
00:39:10.000 To me, it seems like people that get most upset about it don't get most upset about it for a rational reason.
00:39:18.000 They get upset about it because it challenges the way they live their life.
00:39:21.000 Well, that's what I was saying about the gay preachers and stuff.
00:39:24.000 If you're getting that upset, it's about you, man.
00:39:28.000 I mean, if you disagree with it, then disagree with it.
00:39:30.000 That's fine.
00:39:31.000 What they need is out gay preachers.
00:39:34.000 People who love Jesus and are also gay.
00:39:37.000 You can't do that?
00:39:38.000 You can't figure that out?
00:39:39.000 How come this guy can start a whole fucking cult in Australia and tell people he's Jesus and his girlfriend's Mary, and you guys can't get together and form yourself a nice gay church?
00:39:48.000 I mean do they have them that I don't know about?
00:39:50.000 It's called the Vatican, dude.
00:39:52.000 I mean, have you heard all this stuff going on in Italy?
00:39:55.000 That's crazy.
00:39:56.000 They've got all their sex parties.
00:39:58.000 They're their own country.
00:39:59.000 Do you know that?
00:39:59.000 Yeah.
00:40:00.000 When I was there, you know, when you just walk around the Vatican and just see the fucking vast amount of pilfered riches that are all just sucked out by an ideology.
00:40:11.000 I mean, that's really what it is.
00:40:13.000 Like that church, that whatever the fuck you want to call it, that religion, they just acquired an ungodly amount of wealth.
00:40:21.000 Literally ungodly.
00:40:22.000 It's ungodly.
00:40:23.000 Yeah.
00:40:23.000 It's fucking stunning.
00:40:25.000 Yeah, Jesus is all about living in poverty and hanging out with sex workers.
00:40:28.000 And these guys are like...
00:40:30.000 Just lavish wealth.
00:40:31.000 It's crazy because if Jesus came back, the first thing he'd say is like, what the fuck have you guys done?
00:40:36.000 Yeah.
00:40:37.000 Like, what have you done?
00:40:38.000 Look at these gigantic places that you built.
00:40:40.000 And I told you guys, you don't even have to be anywhere for this.
00:40:43.000 Yeah.
00:40:43.000 You don't need to have some ornate temple with stained glass windows and it took craftsmen.
00:40:50.000 Like St. Peter's Basilica.
00:40:53.000 Is it a shock that that is probably one of the most stunning things that I've ever seen in my life?
00:41:01.000 One of the most beautiful works of art, yet was created for this religion that most likely the people that were living in that day We're probably like worshiping these people that were running this thing like as if they were deities themselves.
00:41:17.000 Yeah.
00:41:18.000 And they needed them to have the biggest, craziest building.
00:41:21.000 They impress the rubes, right?
00:41:22.000 When they come in from the countryside and they walk into a cathedral like, holy fuck.
00:41:27.000 The impact that it has on you is you can't understate it.
00:41:30.000 Still.
00:41:30.000 Yeah, and there are churches in Barcelona I would go into, and I'm a pagan, but just go in there and just feel the space.
00:41:38.000 Yeah, just feel it.
00:41:40.000 Your body knows how big it is.
00:41:44.000 It's like when you walk into an airplane hangar.
00:41:46.000 You know?
00:41:48.000 It's not something, you really can't overemphasize how crazy it is.
00:41:53.000 Like, these people built this without power tools.
00:41:55.000 I mean, I don't know what kind of fucking ladders they used, but whatever they did, look at that.
00:42:01.000 Fuck, man.
00:42:02.000 I mean, it's just crazy.
00:42:03.000 You walk around that place, you can't believe how ornate it is.
00:42:07.000 But at the same time this was happening, people were starving.
00:42:10.000 You know?
00:42:12.000 Guaranteed.
00:42:13.000 Like, how old is that?
00:42:16.000 1500?
00:42:17.000 1506. 1506. How well do you think everybody was doing financially in 1506?
00:42:21.000 I bet pretty fucking shitty.
00:42:23.000 I bet everybody that lived around that place suffered.
00:42:26.000 And these motherfuckers were building these crazy places.
00:42:30.000 They have an obelisk in this whole place where you're...
00:42:33.000 These images right here, what are you showing?
00:42:35.000 From Egypt.
00:42:36.000 This massive stone obelisk from Egypt.
00:42:39.000 And I was like, okay, how the fuck did they get that there?
00:42:43.000 Yeah, it shows you how cheap labor was.
00:42:46.000 Oh, dude.
00:42:46.000 Yeah, you could hire people for a lifetime for a pittance, you know?
00:42:50.000 Yeah.
00:42:50.000 Like really skilled artisans.
00:42:52.000 Yeah, and they couldn't go anywhere, man.
00:42:54.000 Yeah.
00:42:55.000 What they did in that place, I mean, the Vatican is just a stunning place.
00:42:59.000 Like, way more so than I thought it was going to be.
00:43:02.000 Have you been to Spain?
00:43:03.000 No, I have not.
00:43:03.000 Look at that.
00:43:04.000 Oh, my God.
00:43:05.000 Look at that.
00:43:08.000 What is that, Jamie?
00:43:09.000 What are we looking at?
00:43:10.000 Is that the roof?
00:43:11.000 It's just St. Peter's Basilica.
00:43:13.000 Look at the fucking carving and everything.
00:43:16.000 And I'm telling you, it's one of those things like you were talking about how you have to see another culture in person in order to really appreciate it.
00:43:23.000 I think that's the same with this thing.
00:43:26.000 St. Peter's Basilica is one of those ones when you're there.
00:43:28.000 Like, look how little those people are walking around down there.
00:43:30.000 See the top of their heads?
00:43:32.000 That's it!
00:43:32.000 That fucking place is giant!
00:43:35.000 Yeah, beautiful light coming through there.
00:43:37.000 Unbelievable.
00:43:38.000 It's one of those game changers where you leave there.
00:43:41.000 To me, it was way more impressive than the Coliseum.
00:43:44.000 The Coliseum was very impressive, but it wasn't as impressive.
00:43:47.000 Well, it's not intact, right?
00:43:49.000 Right.
00:43:49.000 But it's not even that.
00:43:50.000 It's just like what it is.
00:43:51.000 What it is is just craziness.
00:43:54.000 One impressive thing was the elevator complex that they had set up to lift animals up from the floor.
00:44:00.000 Like, that is fucking nuts, man.
00:44:01.000 Do you ever think about the Coliseum when you're doing UFC commentary?
00:44:05.000 It's kind of like this modern...
00:44:06.000 A little bit, right?
00:44:07.000 Yeah, it's definitely...
00:44:10.000 A big, violent distraction from everyday life that people really look forward to and enjoy.
00:44:15.000 For entertainment value.
00:44:17.000 It's as primal as you can get without anybody really dying.
00:44:23.000 Most of the time.
00:44:24.000 Most of the time.
00:44:25.000 No one has in the UFC. Ever.
00:44:28.000 But it's because they have the most stringent rules and because they have the best medical staff and the best referees and all that stuff.
00:44:37.000 But it's also just luck.
00:44:39.000 Because, like, people can die sparring.
00:44:42.000 It happens.
00:44:43.000 If you're in a chokehold and you don't tap out...
00:44:46.000 You just go unconscious and then when they...
00:44:49.000 And then you'll be all right.
00:44:50.000 Yeah, you'll be fine.
00:44:50.000 And you can feel when someone goes unconscious, their muscles relax.
00:44:53.000 Yeah, they just slomp and the referee...
00:44:56.000 Sometimes a referee would pick up an arm, even like the old pro wrestling move.
00:44:59.000 They would check to see if the guy was still awake.
00:45:01.000 They would pick the arm and the guy would be like, and the crowd would go nuts.
00:45:05.000 Yeah, he was about to make his comeback.
00:45:07.000 But they do do that sometimes.
00:45:09.000 I've seen referees pick a guy's arm up to see if the guy responds, or girl.
00:45:13.000 I've seen girls get choked out a bunch.
00:45:15.000 But people are tough.
00:45:16.000 They don't want to tap, and then they wind up going to sleep.
00:45:18.000 Holly Holm, when she fought Misha Tate, Misha Tate choked her unconscious, and before Holly went out, she was throwing punches in the air.
00:45:25.000 And she went unconscious.
00:45:26.000 Wow.
00:45:26.000 It was crazy.
00:45:28.000 It was crazy.
00:45:29.000 It was primal.
00:45:31.000 It was like drowning.
00:45:32.000 It was like watching someone drown.
00:45:33.000 Yeah.
00:45:33.000 You know?
00:45:34.000 So, it's just, you know.
00:45:37.000 You have a preference for how you die?
00:45:40.000 Ooh.
00:45:40.000 Drowning.
00:45:41.000 Drowning's one of my least favorite.
00:45:43.000 Seems like it would suck.
00:45:44.000 Yeah.
00:45:45.000 Yeah, I don't want to do that.
00:45:46.000 Yeah.
00:45:47.000 I have a buddy who's a big wave surfer and like 40 foot waves.
00:45:52.000 Shout out to Kyle.
00:45:54.000 And he did a breath holding course.
00:45:57.000 He can hold his breath for five minutes.
00:45:59.000 Jesus.
00:46:00.000 Because he goes, you know, if you get caught in one of those waves, you're like down in the deep for a long time.
00:46:05.000 Yeah.
00:46:08.000 Yeah, some really interesting.
00:46:09.000 He was telling me some really interesting things like when a human being puts its face in the water, all sorts of physiological changes start happening.
00:46:17.000 Your metabolism immediately slows way down.
00:46:21.000 Your oxygen consumption cuts way back just automatically.
00:46:25.000 We've got a lot of seemingly evolutionary adaptations to living in the water.
00:46:31.000 Yeah.
00:46:31.000 Have you ever heard that aquatic ape theory?
00:46:35.000 Sure.
00:46:35.000 Does that make any sense?
00:46:36.000 It does.
00:46:36.000 Does it seem like someone should have already known that already?
00:46:39.000 It makes...
00:46:40.000 Here's what it does, in my opinion.
00:46:43.000 We should explain it.
00:46:44.000 Yeah.
00:46:44.000 So the idea is...
00:46:46.000 I first read about it in a book by Buckminster Fuller, actually.
00:46:50.000 Great.
00:46:51.000 You know about him?
00:46:52.000 Yes.
00:46:52.000 Genius.
00:46:53.000 The idea is that they're...
00:46:56.000 According to the people who...
00:46:58.000 I support this theory.
00:46:59.000 There was a period in human evolution where our ancestors lived in tidal areas.
00:47:06.000 So they spent most of their time in the water that was about body temperature so it was comfortable and it was shallow enough that they weren't worried about sharks coming in and deep enough that leopards and other predators from the land couldn't get at them so it was safe in that respect.
00:47:23.000 Also, you have great sight lines, so you can see if something's coming from a long way off.
00:47:28.000 And there's lots of food there, lots of mollusks and fish, and you can net.
00:47:32.000 And so it sort of made sense that they would be there.
00:47:35.000 And so we have these physiological adaptations for aquatic living.
00:47:40.000 Like, for example, human infants are the only apes, certainly, I don't know, primate, probably the only primates that know to hold their breath underwater.
00:47:52.000 So like that great Nirvana album cover of the baby.
00:47:56.000 So you take a baby and drop it in water and it holds its breath.
00:48:00.000 Chimps just breathe and die.
00:48:03.000 Chimps can't even swim.
00:48:05.000 So there's that.
00:48:07.000 There's the fact that babies are really fat, so they float.
00:48:10.000 You can't teach chimps to swim?
00:48:12.000 No.
00:48:13.000 And also, chimps don't have enough body fat to be buoyant.
00:48:16.000 Right.
00:48:17.000 They're super...
00:48:17.000 They're like corded steel.
00:48:19.000 Yeah.
00:48:19.000 Their bodies.
00:48:20.000 Yeah.
00:48:21.000 I didn't know they could never teach them to swim.
00:48:23.000 That makes sense, though.
00:48:24.000 But they're so smart.
00:48:25.000 I guess they just can't do it, huh?
00:48:27.000 I don't know.
00:48:28.000 But yes, if you see lots of, you know, contemporary zoos, they have the chimps surrounded by a moat.
00:48:33.000 Right.
00:48:34.000 Because they won't cross the moat.
00:48:35.000 Wow.
00:48:36.000 What a bummer.
00:48:37.000 They'll wade in water.
00:48:38.000 I've seen chimps wading, but not swimming.
00:48:42.000 You know, maybe then there's also the connection between eating fish and fish oil and brain health.
00:48:49.000 Right.
00:48:49.000 And there's a very strong correlation between fish oil and brain health.
00:48:53.000 Yeah, so it could be related to cortical development.
00:48:56.000 And also, you would have to be clever to try to dive into the water to go after those things.
00:49:03.000 The smarter ones would probably survive.
00:49:06.000 Right.
00:49:06.000 Even the nostrils, like, you know, nostrils come straight out of the face, and the idea of our nostrils facing down is related to this aquatic thing.
00:49:15.000 Wow.
00:49:15.000 The oil glands that we have on our heads and faces and shoulders that, you know, cause acne and stuff in teenagers.
00:49:24.000 You know, that's for protection from the sun, apparently.
00:49:28.000 So there are lots of adaptations that seem to fit into this interpretation.
00:49:32.000 But, you know, lots of sort of mainstream evolutionary theorists would say, well, wait a minute, you know, there are other adaptations we don't have.
00:49:40.000 And that we would have if that had been the case.
00:49:43.000 So it's controversial at best.
00:49:46.000 Part of it was also the theory that the human brain, in order for us to be born vaginally, the brain could only be so big before the kid was born, right?
00:49:57.000 Yeah, I mean, that's the explanation for why humans are born helpless.
00:50:01.000 Right.
00:50:01.000 No, but what I'm saying is that we really can't, the brain can't get any bigger.
00:50:06.000 Right.
00:50:06.000 For the vaginal canal.
00:50:07.000 Unless our dicks get bigger and the vaginas get bigger as well.
00:50:11.000 I just do a whole bit about that, about dick pills.
00:50:13.000 But if there really were dick pills, no one's stopping at one.
00:50:17.000 Yeah.
00:50:18.000 Like, what's the dosage?
00:50:19.000 Okay, how much gives me a stroke?
00:50:21.000 I'm going to take one less than that and roll the fucking dice.
00:50:24.000 Yeah, or risk it.
00:50:25.000 And the idea would that be every dude's dick would just become a super dick, and every woman would be, you know, it was a joke about flying squirrel pussy people.
00:50:34.000 They would just jump dudes with big dicks in shopping carts.
00:50:36.000 We'd chase these girls to the edge of cliffs.
00:50:38.000 The women would leap off with their...
00:50:40.000 Giant GMO vagina.
00:50:42.000 The body would have to morph.
00:50:44.000 It'd have to change for the big dick pills.
00:50:46.000 But it does seem like if humans are going to get smarter, the head is going to have to get larger.
00:50:52.000 Does that make any sense?
00:50:53.000 Or is that just a crude way of looking at the brain?
00:50:56.000 Is it possible that people can get smarter?
00:50:58.000 Like if we evolved...
00:50:59.000 If we evolved from lower hominids, it's generally assumed that those lower hominids had little brains or littler brains than us, right?
00:51:06.000 Up until like Australopithecus or something like that?
00:51:09.000 Yeah, what really seems to matter though is the ratio of brain size to body size.
00:51:14.000 There are plenty of animals that have bigger brains than us that aren't.
00:51:18.000 Obviously aren't smarter than us.
00:51:20.000 Like an elephant.
00:51:21.000 Elephants, blue whales.
00:51:22.000 I mean a blue whale brain is probably the size of this room.
00:51:25.000 Do we know if elephants are fucking super smart?
00:51:27.000 Because isn't the thing about intelligence is like there's communication between elephants for sure.
00:51:33.000 And we know that they recognize each other after long periods of time.
00:51:37.000 Like 20 years apart.
00:51:39.000 They get together and they see each other and recognize each other instantly.
00:51:42.000 There's an intelligence there, but what we judge intelligence oftentimes depends on whether or not it can communicate with you, whether or not it changes its environment, builds a structure.
00:51:53.000 To me, this is one of the deepest questions...
00:51:57.000 In life, right?
00:51:58.000 Do you ever see the elephant that painted a picture of itself?
00:52:00.000 Sure, yeah.
00:52:01.000 That's crazy.
00:52:02.000 Yeah, in Thailand, I think.
00:52:03.000 Yeah, pull that up.
00:52:05.000 That is one of those things where you go, okay, wait a minute.
00:52:07.000 A dog can't do that.
00:52:09.000 I thought you said this thing was as smart as a dog.
00:52:12.000 Because that's a hundred times smarter than a dog.
00:52:14.000 And they're like gray parrots that have, you know, 300-word vocabularies or something.
00:52:19.000 Really?
00:52:19.000 Yeah.
00:52:19.000 I mean, don't quote me on the number, but Jamie can look that up.
00:52:23.000 They can speak a whole sentence?
00:52:24.000 Yeah, and they can...
00:52:25.000 And there's a guy – I remember seeing this recently.
00:52:28.000 There's a guy who has a border collie who obviously can't talk but understands well over 100 words.
00:52:36.000 And so what he'll do is like he'll put all these different toys behind a wall and he'll say, go get me the yellow bunny.
00:52:42.000 And there's like a yellow bunny, a red bunny, and a green bunny in addition to hundreds of other shit.
00:52:47.000 And the dog will go find the yellow bunny and bring it back.
00:52:49.000 You know, go get me the green turtle.
00:52:52.000 He'll go get it.
00:52:53.000 So, the dog knows those words, right?
00:52:56.000 And also, the dog sees in color?
00:52:59.000 I guess it's a predator.
00:53:00.000 Predators see in color.
00:53:02.000 So here's the elephant painting itself.
00:53:05.000 It is fucking crazy, because it really looks like itself.
00:53:11.000 And this guy helps it and gets the brush and puts it in its hand.
00:53:15.000 But the elephant is essentially doing all of this with its trunk and just replicating itself.
00:53:21.000 And it's proportional, too.
00:53:23.000 It's really good.
00:53:24.000 Dude, that's better than a four-year-old.
00:53:27.000 The dude was holding his tusk.
00:53:28.000 Yeah.
00:53:29.000 You have to training him to do that, I think.
00:53:31.000 Well, I'm sure they're training him.
00:53:32.000 Or is he just pulling so that the brush goes where he wants it to go?
00:53:36.000 See, look at the trunk.
00:53:37.000 Like, he's definitely holding.
00:53:38.000 But look at the trunk and look at how much motion is in that thing.
00:53:41.000 How could he possibly be controlling that?
00:53:44.000 He's definitely lifting it up and down and helping him, though.
00:53:47.000 But what it is, is they're working together.
00:53:50.000 Like, the elephant knows to stay in these lines.
00:53:53.000 It's doing it with him.
00:53:56.000 You're not buying it.
00:53:57.000 That hand on the tusk.
00:54:00.000 It's not going to mirror anything.
00:54:01.000 That hand on the tusk is a little rough.
00:54:03.000 See if there's another one.
00:54:04.000 There are other ones.
00:54:05.000 Let me see the other one.
00:54:06.000 There's just articles that say that they're being trained to do it and it's like cruel or something.
00:54:09.000 Okay, this one right here, this thing doesn't have anybody's hands on it.
00:54:12.000 I think this is the one that I had seen before.
00:54:16.000 In any case, the question of intelligence is so much more complicated than we generally credit it with.
00:54:25.000 Not only among animals, but also among humans.
00:54:28.000 There's this big controversy, perennial controversy, that's...
00:54:33.000 Okay, see, this is a problem.
00:54:35.000 Right now, we're looking at another video, and this is the one that I had seen.
00:54:40.000 And he's...
00:54:41.000 Nobody's...
00:54:42.000 Nobody's touching his tusks.
00:54:43.000 Nobody's controlling him here, yeah.
00:54:44.000 Well, he doesn't have any tusks, it looks like.
00:54:46.000 Does he?
00:54:47.000 I don't see any, no.
00:54:49.000 So...
00:54:50.000 That looked like the guy was just giving him the brush and he was doing it.
00:54:54.000 Why don't they pull back though so you could see if that's true?
00:54:56.000 So this is the one that I had seen before.
00:54:58.000 I hadn't seen the other one.
00:55:00.000 But I would imagine...
00:55:01.000 Yeah, this is unassisted.
00:55:02.000 I would imagine that if you did get a guy like this that teaches his elephant...
00:55:08.000 How to paint a fucking picture that it's going to become a tourist attraction.
00:55:13.000 Right.
00:55:14.000 People are going to say, come watch the elephant that paints the picture, as seen on YouTube.
00:55:18.000 And the next thing you know, you've got a tourist business.
00:55:20.000 Well, and if he always does the same picture, too.
00:55:22.000 Right.
00:55:22.000 Draws himself over and over again.
00:55:24.000 But right here, it looks to me, at least, like the elephant's doing that.
00:55:29.000 You couldn't even talk a four-year-old into doing that.
00:55:32.000 So...
00:55:33.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:55:35.000 You ever see a four-year-old do an elephant?
00:55:36.000 You have to ask him what the fuck it is.
00:55:38.000 Like, what is that?
00:55:39.000 Like, that's an elephant!
00:55:40.000 You're like, whoa, that elephant's crazy.
00:55:42.000 What is it doing?
00:55:43.000 Do you think it knows it's drawing an elephant?
00:55:45.000 That's a good question.
00:55:46.000 Like, does it draw on a tree?
00:55:47.000 It probably doesn't know it's drawing an elephant.
00:55:50.000 If I had to guess, I would guess that it probably doesn't understand 2D space like that, because if it did, it would start creating art.
00:55:57.000 They would start expressing themselves to each other.
00:55:59.000 They would start drawing directions, like, go this way.
00:56:02.000 If you start seeing animals do that, that is so far beyond using tools.
00:56:06.000 Well, that's what bees do.
00:56:07.000 Yeah.
00:56:08.000 Well, bees do it with smells, right?
00:56:09.000 Well, they do it with a dance.
00:56:11.000 Yeah, the little wiggle dance.
00:56:12.000 So they give instructions on where the flowers are.
00:56:15.000 Yeah.
00:56:16.000 So this question of intelligence is really interesting and I think very important because, you know, we talk about intelligence as if we know what it is, but we don't.
00:56:25.000 It expresses itself in so many different ways.
00:56:28.000 There's so many manifestations.
00:56:30.000 So this big controversy that's happening now among...
00:56:33.000 I don't know if you're aware, this was Sam Harris and Ezra Klein and Andrew Sullivan and people are...
00:56:41.000 And Charles Murray.
00:56:42.000 Charles Murray, right, exactly.
00:56:44.000 That whole thing about racial...
00:56:45.000 Why don't I explain it to people that don't know what the hell it is?
00:56:47.000 So Charles Murray wrote this book called The Bell Curve, I don't know, 20 years ago or something.
00:56:51.000 I think it was 25 even.
00:56:52.000 Yeah, where he argued that...
00:56:55.000 There are racial differences in intelligence, IQ specifically with Asians being the highest and then whites and then blacks, and that that's just the way it is, and social adjustments aren't going to change that because it's largely genetic.
00:57:12.000 Right.
00:57:13.000 As I understand, that was the argument.
00:57:16.000 I haven't read this book.
00:57:17.000 I don't think it's saying largely genetic, but I think they're saying that genetics play a factor and environment plays a factor.
00:57:23.000 I think some people are not willing to look at genetics if it shows an unfavorable trait in minorities.
00:57:31.000 They don't want to look at it.
00:57:33.000 Yeah, that's true.
00:57:35.000 But I think it's also true that Part of the argument is that social programs are a waste of money because they're not going to affect it because it's genetic.
00:57:47.000 That's crazy.
00:57:48.000 If that is part of the argument, that's just straight racist to me.
00:57:52.000 Well, I think that's what people are grabbing onto.
00:57:54.000 The idea, like, save your money?
00:57:56.000 Save your money?
00:57:56.000 No, do a better job.
00:57:58.000 You don't even know if it works because what have you done?
00:58:01.000 Go to an inner city school and pretend you're a 10 year old kid trying to get by in this life and you're literally seeing gang members and craziness and people flashing cash and people dropping out because they're pregnant when they're 13th and you're trying to tell me there's not some sort of a massive environmental factor.
00:58:19.000 If you were a white kid going to a school like that, I only went to a bad school for one year of my life.
00:58:27.000 I'm no OG, but I really did go to one bad school, Mary Curley Middle School in Jamaica Plain.
00:58:37.000 And in Jamaica Plain, Massachusetts, now it's become gentrified, sort of.
00:58:42.000 It's kind of like East LA or Silver Lake area.
00:58:46.000 A lot of hipsters have moved in and nice places, but...
00:58:50.000 When I lived there, it was not good.
00:58:51.000 It was very poor people, and the fucking middle school was scary.
00:58:55.000 It was 17-year-old kids in my seventh grade class.
00:58:58.000 It was just a weird play.
00:59:00.000 Maybe, I guess it was eighth grade.
00:59:02.000 But the point was, these kids were never going to graduate.
00:59:05.000 They knew it, and they were trying to go back to seventh grade again, or eighth grade, whatever the fuck it was.
00:59:09.000 And the teacher would have them in the class for a couple days, and then they would leave.
00:59:13.000 And everywhere you walked, you were scared.
00:59:16.000 Everywhere you walked, like, some weird shit was happening with people.
00:59:19.000 People were yelling at people.
00:59:21.000 There was always, like, tension.
00:59:22.000 And there was always, like, bigger kids around that were robbing other kids.
00:59:25.000 Like, fuck!
00:59:26.000 Like, I got through that year going, holy shit!
00:59:29.000 And when I got out of there, my parents moved.
00:59:31.000 We moved to a really nice part of town, Newton.
00:59:34.000 But If you're a kid growing up in that environment, good fucking luck learning anything.
00:59:39.000 And probably it's pretty bad at home, too.
00:59:42.000 Yeah, and what I experienced in Jamaica Plain was nothing compared to Dorchester and Roxbury.
00:59:46.000 Those are the bad areas.
00:59:47.000 They were way worse at the time.
00:59:49.000 And we know that anxiety, stress stops brain development.
00:59:53.000 Yes.
00:59:54.000 It retards it.
00:59:55.000 Yes.
00:59:55.000 It also makes people much more inclined to violence.
00:59:57.000 Yeah, sure.
00:59:58.000 When you grow up, even in the womb, if your mother's around horrible situations and people screaming and fighting, that cortisol and adrenaline and all those hormones are flowing through that baby, preparing that baby for a violent world.
01:00:11.000 Well, I'm sure you know about the epigenetics that show that that can pass several generations.
01:00:17.000 Your grandfather was in a famine, you're more likely to be obese.
01:00:21.000 Isn't that crazy?
01:00:22.000 It's nuts, yeah.
01:00:23.000 You also live longer, though.
01:00:25.000 Isn't that weird?
01:00:25.000 The people that were in famine people, their kids lived longer for some strange reason.
01:00:32.000 Interesting.
01:00:32.000 Yeah, like your body's preparing you to be extra durable, like we were talking about before the podcast started.
01:00:38.000 Right.
01:00:38.000 And fasting is the only intervention that's ever been shown to extend lifespan.
01:00:44.000 Isn't that nuts?
01:00:45.000 Yeah.
01:00:45.000 I do it because it makes me just function better.
01:00:49.000 I do it every 16 hours I eat.
01:00:53.000 So I'll eat and then I don't eat for 16 hours.
01:00:56.000 So I'll eat for 8 hours a day, that's it.
01:00:59.000 When that's over, that's over.
01:01:01.000 I'll eat again for 16 hours.
01:01:02.000 So what is it, like 9am to 5pm or something?
01:01:04.000 Whatever it is.
01:01:05.000 I just figure out what the time is and then add 16 to it.
01:01:08.000 If I'm cheating, I add 14. But I never add less than 14. Ah, I see.
01:01:13.000 Yeah.
01:01:13.000 I was talking to a guy recently about this, Brian Freisinger in Austin.
01:01:18.000 Really, really smart guy.
01:01:19.000 And we were talking about this, and he's like, I only eat when the sun's up.
01:01:23.000 It's easy to keep track of.
01:01:24.000 That's good.
01:01:25.000 But what if you want to go to a nice dinner?
01:01:27.000 Don't eat.
01:01:28.000 Or go earlier.
01:01:31.000 I know.
01:01:31.000 You've got to have cheat days.
01:01:32.000 When he said it, I was like, dude, I spend most of my life in Spain where dinner time is 10 p.m.
01:01:37.000 That's not going to work for me.
01:01:38.000 If I go to a restaurant, I allow myself to have a little bit of bread.
01:01:41.000 I allow myself to have dessert occasionally.
01:01:44.000 I allow myself to eat some shitty things.
01:01:45.000 Maybe a little pasta if I feel like it.
01:01:48.000 Fuck it.
01:01:49.000 I think you have to both be disciplined and also I enjoy the art form of cooking.
01:01:55.000 I enjoy that people make these delicious dishes.
01:01:58.000 I follow your elk and jalapeno Instagram feed there, Joe.
01:02:02.000 Looks great.
01:02:03.000 Do you cook at all?
01:02:04.000 I love cooking, yeah.
01:02:05.000 I have meat for you then.
01:02:06.000 Oh.
01:02:07.000 I have sausages.
01:02:08.000 Joe Rogan has meat for me, ladies and gentlemen.
01:02:11.000 That's not what I meant.
01:02:11.000 That's not what I meant.
01:02:12.000 He's one of the few people you can't really say that to.
01:02:14.000 That cuck beta thing again.
01:02:17.000 So I'll tell you a great...
01:02:19.000 We were talking about the van.
01:02:22.000 My favorite thing in life is travel.
01:02:25.000 And the reason I love travel is that you can wake up and have no idea what your life's going to be like by the time you go to bed.
01:02:33.000 Right.
01:02:33.000 So...
01:02:35.000 We're driving the van along the Rio Grande, and we want to go to Big Bend National Park, which is beautiful.
01:02:44.000 You know where that is?
01:02:45.000 No.
01:02:45.000 It's like that part of Texas that sort of dips down, and there's like a Big Bend, literally a Big Bend.
01:02:51.000 That's the river.
01:02:53.000 So it's way down South Texas.
01:02:55.000 That's a weird spot.
01:02:56.000 It's cool.
01:02:57.000 It's interesting down there.
01:02:59.000 South Texas is strange.
01:03:01.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:03:01.000 You should have a passport to go there.
01:03:04.000 And the river's like as wide as this room.
01:03:07.000 I mean, it's nothing.
01:03:08.000 You could just walk across over to Mexico.
01:03:11.000 But anyway, so we get into the western entrance of Big Bend, and it's like 4 p.m., and the guy says, yeah, all the campgrounds are full.
01:03:20.000 And I was like, ah, shit, okay.
01:03:22.000 Can I get a backcountry permit?
01:03:23.000 Like, no, you can't.
01:03:25.000 Okay, so he says, just go back to that little town right there, spend the night there, and then come in the morning, and I'll hook you up.
01:03:31.000 Okay, great.
01:03:32.000 So we go back to this town.
01:03:33.000 It's called Terlingua.
01:03:34.000 Little town.
01:03:35.000 We just drove through it on the way in.
01:03:37.000 Nothing there.
01:03:38.000 You know, some houses, whatever.
01:03:40.000 And we find this restaurant and it's like, okay, we're just going to crash behind a dumpster in the van and, you know, whatever.
01:03:49.000 And spend the night there.
01:03:51.000 So we're sitting there, and I remembered somebody had sent me an Instagram direct message about Terlingua.
01:03:57.000 So I go back and I find it, and the guy's like, hey, if you get to Terlingua, Texas, you should look up my buddy Tony.
01:04:04.000 He's really cool.
01:04:05.000 So here's his handle.
01:04:07.000 You can't tell people that you're willing to do this, because now they're going to be sending you direct messages.
01:04:12.000 Oh, they do it all the time, man.
01:04:13.000 I love it.
01:04:15.000 You're paranoid.
01:04:16.000 There's going to be a dude with a ball gag in his hand, and you're going to go, what?
01:04:20.000 And then you're going to feel that cloth filled with chloroform cover your nose.
01:04:24.000 You're in a different world, Joe.
01:04:26.000 I'm in the world of micropodcasting, where everybody who reaches out to me likes me.
01:04:32.000 Oh, everybody who reaches out to you, I'm sure.
01:04:34.000 And they're not crazy.
01:04:35.000 They just want to tie you up a little.
01:04:38.000 Well, hey, what's wrong with that?
01:04:40.000 I remember showing you one time, a long time ago, I was here doing a podcast and my phone, a message came in and I looked and it was this really hot woman in Australia who liked to send me naked pictures of herself.
01:04:51.000 And I showed it to you and you're like, that's a trap.
01:04:54.000 It's a trap.
01:04:55.000 That's a trap.
01:04:55.000 That's what a trap looks like right there.
01:04:58.000 It is what a trap looks like.
01:04:59.000 She's in Australia.
01:05:01.000 They are different over there.
01:05:03.000 And they're far away.
01:05:05.000 Yeah.
01:05:06.000 They are interesting people.
01:05:08.000 Anyway, that's a place I would live.
01:05:10.000 I like Australia.
01:05:11.000 I would live there.
01:05:12.000 I like Australian people.
01:05:14.000 They're funny as fuck!
01:05:15.000 Funny as fuck.
01:05:15.000 But they get American comedy straight away.
01:05:18.000 There's no problem doing shows over there.
01:05:21.000 Humor is an interesting thing, cultural humor.
01:05:24.000 Anyway, let me finish this story.
01:05:25.000 So I text this dude.
01:05:26.000 I'm like, hey, I'm Interlingua.
01:05:27.000 You don't know me, but some friend of yours, whatever.
01:05:30.000 He texts us back, hey, we're in this restaurant.
01:05:32.000 Come have a beer.
01:05:33.000 So we go to this restaurant.
01:05:34.000 There's this table.
01:05:35.000 Maybe a dozen people sitting at the table.
01:05:37.000 Hey, come on.
01:05:38.000 Yeah, have a beer.
01:05:39.000 Really nice people.
01:05:41.000 And after about 15 minutes, I say to somebody, are you guys tripping?
01:05:45.000 He's like, yeah, we ate some mushrooms.
01:05:48.000 Okay, some of them did, some of them didn't.
01:05:50.000 Anyway, but super relaxed.
01:05:52.000 And somebody makes some joke about like their beer glass was dirty or something.
01:05:58.000 And someone else is like, yeah, just lick it.
01:06:00.000 It's good for your microbiome.
01:06:03.000 And I'm like, oh, you guys know about microbiome?
01:06:05.000 I'm like, yeah, yeah.
01:06:06.000 I said, I read this article a couple years ago.
01:06:09.000 This dude, you probably read this article yourself.
01:06:11.000 This dude was in Africa with the Hadza people, the hunter-gatherers, and he took some Hadza shit and he mixed it up and blasted it up his ass to see if he could get a hunter-gatherer's microbiome because it's a much more complex microbiome, right?
01:06:26.000 I'm sure.
01:06:27.000 I say this to this dude thinking he's going to have a reaction like you just had, and he says, oh yeah, that's him.
01:06:34.000 He points to the end of the table.
01:06:36.000 I said, what?
01:06:37.000 And the guy's like half alive, wires coming out of him.
01:06:40.000 And the guy's looking at me smiling.
01:06:42.000 And I said, that's you?
01:06:43.000 He's like, yeah, that's me.
01:06:45.000 You blasted fucking hunter-gatherer?
01:06:47.000 Yeah, yeah, I do this thing in Africa.
01:06:49.000 This guy's a world-famous scientist, microbiome expert.
01:06:53.000 Wow.
01:06:54.000 Spends half his life in Africa with this hunter-gatherer group, and the other half in this tiny little town in Texas, and there he is.
01:07:02.000 Wow.
01:07:03.000 And so we stayed there four days, became great friends with this guy, did a podcast with him.
01:07:08.000 Fantastic guy.
01:07:08.000 What's his name, Ken?
01:07:09.000 Jeff Leach.
01:07:10.000 And is it, tangentially speaking, the podcast available on iTunes, Stitcher, and everywhere else?
01:07:15.000 Available or find podcasts, I found.
01:07:18.000 Wow, I'm going to listen to that one.
01:07:19.000 That sounds amazing.
01:07:20.000 What a coincidence.
01:07:22.000 This was the trip, you know?
01:07:23.000 And that totally fell out of the sky.
01:07:25.000 We went to visit Peter Gorman, you know him?
01:07:28.000 He was editor of High Times Magazine in the 70s.
01:07:31.000 First person to write about ayahuasca in the Western press.
01:07:35.000 Not scientifically, but popular press.
01:07:39.000 Explored the Amazon for years, was all over down there.
01:07:42.000 First person to write about Sapo, you know, the burn.
01:07:46.000 Tree frog.
01:07:46.000 Yeah.
01:07:47.000 Really interesting dude.
01:07:48.000 He's in Texas, too.
01:07:49.000 Wow.
01:07:49.000 So he drove up to see him.
01:07:51.000 So it's kind of like just cruising around in the van, like hanging out with cool people.
01:07:55.000 I heard that frog poison stuff is horrible.
01:07:58.000 The trip.
01:07:59.000 Yeah.
01:08:00.000 I mean, I guess it was Aubrey.
01:08:02.000 Wasn't it Aubrey that was on the podcast talking about doing that tree frog poison?
01:08:07.000 Pretty sure it was him.
01:08:08.000 He's done everything.
01:08:09.000 He's like Mikey from that commercial about Mikey likes it for life.
01:08:12.000 He won't eat it.
01:08:13.000 He hates everything.
01:08:14.000 He's in there.
01:08:15.000 That's Aubrey.
01:08:16.000 He loves everything.
01:08:17.000 Takes everything.
01:08:18.000 But he was saying it was just a terrible ordeal.
01:08:21.000 But there was also an article that I read about certain countries where they didn't have an endogenous psychedelic or didn't have a local psychedelic.
01:08:32.000 So these people would take ordeal poisons.
01:08:35.000 So they would take poisons that would get them like literally to the brink of death, and then they would come out of it like a near-death experience.
01:08:43.000 And that this near-death experience provided some sort of a shamanistic, you know, some sort of a breakthrough experience where you could move on to the next level.
01:08:53.000 Like you'd experience something that was like, like we were talking about before the podcast, like when you lived in Portland, and then coming here in LA when it's sunny out, you're like, ah...
01:09:02.000 Son, you just feel it.
01:09:04.000 That it's similar.
01:09:05.000 Well, there's a similar theory about Africa, that there aren't a lot of endogenous psychedelic plants there.
01:09:12.000 Iboga is one of the only ones, and that's incredibly strong and not available all over the continent.
01:09:17.000 And so they develop complex rhythms to provoke altered states.
01:09:22.000 That makes sense.
01:09:23.000 And that's why African rhythms are so complex and Native American rhythms are very simple.
01:09:28.000 That's intricate.
01:09:29.000 They were high as fuck.
01:09:30.000 High as fuck already and just boom, boom, boom is enough.
01:09:32.000 Have you ever heard any of the Icaros that Aubrey plays when he has his little illegal drug ceremonies?
01:09:41.000 No, I haven't heard Aubrey's.
01:09:42.000 He's got these Icaros that he got from these South American shamans.
01:09:46.000 And I listen to them sometimes when I write.
01:09:48.000 Because I like listening to things that I don't know the language when I write.
01:09:53.000 Like I like some music from Armenia.
01:09:56.000 I like some Lebanese music.
01:09:58.000 I like, it's cool listening to things where I have no idea what they're saying.
01:10:02.000 So like, I don't get wrapped up in, but I feel their emotions, but I don't get wrapped up in whatever they're talking about.
01:10:08.000 So I can write about, whatever, fucking tabletop.
01:10:12.000 There's a lot of good music out there.
01:10:14.000 You want Brazilian, African.
01:10:17.000 Most of the music I listen to, I don't understand the words.
01:10:20.000 Because I really fixate on the words if I do.
01:10:23.000 The Icaros are crazy because they make the psychedelic trip dance to them.
01:10:28.000 Like DMT. When you take DMT with the Icaros, you realize the Icaros, it's like a technology that was invented To work with DMT. Right.
01:10:40.000 Like, this is like, give me some volume on this shit.
01:10:43.000 This is what they sound like.
01:10:50.000 Now, by itself, you listen to this right now and you go, oh, this is just like some weird, slow music.
01:10:58.000 But when you're in the dimension of dimethyltryptamine and the world has become infinite fractals that are moving and changing and morphing, when you hear this song, the hallucinations or whatever they are that you're experiencing,
01:11:14.000 the visualizations, they dance to the song 100% in sync.
01:11:19.000 So all this...
01:11:22.000 It's comforting.
01:11:23.000 Yeah.
01:11:24.000 That's another thing.
01:11:25.000 It keeps people from having bad trips sometimes because they can cling to the music and the structure in the music, whereas their own paranoia and fear and inability to let go gets hit with that psychedelic juice.
01:11:37.000 Boom!
01:11:38.000 And you just experience that new...
01:11:40.000 And some people freak out, but this music might be able to bring them down.
01:11:44.000 It sounds like what a fetus might hear in the womb.
01:11:47.000 Got that heartbeat, too.
01:11:49.000 Yeah, right?
01:11:50.000 Imagine what a fetus hears.
01:11:57.000 See, I like listening to this kind of shit when I write because I have no idea what they're saying.
01:12:01.000 Yeah.
01:12:02.000 And so I can just keep it on the background.
01:12:03.000 It also makes me feel like just knowing.
01:12:07.000 Just knowing that that's out there, knowing that the DMT world is out there, it makes me just a little bit nervous.
01:12:12.000 It makes me write better.
01:12:14.000 You're writing jokes or other stuff?
01:12:15.000 Everything, whatever.
01:12:16.000 You ever written a book or essay or stuff?
01:12:19.000 I've written essays.
01:12:20.000 I used to write a lot.
01:12:21.000 Oh, yeah, no.
01:12:22.000 I've read some of your essays.
01:12:23.000 What am I talking about?
01:12:24.000 You wrote a beautiful one.
01:12:27.000 A couple years ago, I don't know if I've ever told you how much I appreciated that, actually.
01:12:32.000 It was about how the quest for optimal fitness shouldn't be taken as...
01:12:44.000 Immortality, that we're all going to die, and you've got to sort of deal with that.
01:12:47.000 Do you remember what I'm talking about?
01:12:48.000 Yeah, I think I wrote Your Body's a Sandcastle.
01:12:52.000 That's what it is.
01:12:53.000 Yeah, the sandcastles are beautiful, but one of the beautiful things about this is we know how temporary they are.
01:12:57.000 When you see a sandcastle, it's not just like, oh, this guy made an amazing sculpture.
01:13:01.000 It's like, oh, no, this person made something that they know is not going to last, and they put a massive amount of work into it, but part of the beauty of it is that it's not going to last.
01:13:09.000 Yeah, I really enjoyed that a lot.
01:13:11.000 I think that was for a magazine.
01:13:13.000 So you have a book in mind?
01:13:15.000 I started writing a book and then I had to deal with the publishing company.
01:13:22.000 They wanted very specific kind of writing.
01:13:26.000 Oh, yeah, it's from Maxim.
01:13:27.000 That's what it was.
01:13:28.000 They wanted very specific...
01:13:30.000 Like, they wanted jokey jokes.
01:13:32.000 They even offered to just pay me to transcribe my act.
01:13:35.000 And I was like, I don't want to do that.
01:13:37.000 And they go, but these people did it.
01:13:39.000 You know, some famous comedians did it.
01:13:40.000 I said, that's fine.
01:13:42.000 That's just not what I want to do.
01:13:43.000 I like writing.
01:13:44.000 But I like writing shit that I feel like writing.
01:13:47.000 Like, I don't want to have some so...
01:13:49.000 When we went into it, they were like, we love your blogs.
01:13:52.000 We think you're really funny.
01:13:54.000 This would be good.
01:13:55.000 Was this before you had the podcast?
01:13:57.000 Yes.
01:13:58.000 Yeah.
01:13:58.000 So I gave them all their money back.
01:14:00.000 Yeah.
01:14:00.000 I just thought, I don't want to do this.
01:14:01.000 Yeah, because at this point, you'd have free range to do whatever you wanted.
01:14:05.000 Yeah, it's I just think that any time you willingly take on some new project managers, their opinion might very well be valid, but I'm not looking for it.
01:14:19.000 I want whatever I write to be out of my head, and whether it's good or bad, depending upon how much focus and attention I put into it.
01:14:27.000 You know, I'm pretty self-critical.
01:14:29.000 So if I think it's clunky, I'll try to redo it.
01:14:31.000 But I'm not interested in, like, artistically or creatively going down a direction where somebody else is picking the subject matter or somebody else is suggesting.
01:14:41.000 Like, I'm not...
01:14:42.000 It's fine.
01:14:43.000 There's no reason for you to do that.
01:14:44.000 I mean, you've got the massive platform and a well-established voice.
01:14:48.000 You don't...
01:14:49.000 I think, honestly, I think publishing is at the Napster stage right now.
01:14:55.000 I think it's sort of collapsing.
01:14:56.000 I'm finishing this book I've been working on for a few years now, and I don't know that I'll ever publish another book with major publishers.
01:15:05.000 Well, you've had great success with your podcast as well, but the beautiful thing about your podcast is it allows you to put out an idea almost instantaneously.
01:15:12.000 I mean, you get together with this rattlesnake guy, you guys have a couple-hour conversation, you upload that shit, and that's it.
01:15:17.000 It's wonderful, and it brings really interesting people into my life, and my circle of friends now is largely composed of either guests or listeners of the podcast.
01:15:29.000 It's wonderful.
01:15:29.000 I just put out a book recently that's...
01:15:38.000 We're good to go.
01:15:55.000 The publisher, Misfit Press, are people that I know through the podcast.
01:15:59.000 They reached out to me and we had some beers.
01:16:02.000 Not intending to do anything together.
01:16:04.000 Just like, hey dude, we're in town and we like your show.
01:16:07.000 Can we get a beer?
01:16:08.000 And really like these guys.
01:16:10.000 And ended up having the CEO on the podcast, AJ. And yeah, so we just put out the book.
01:16:17.000 And it sort of fulfills my fantasy of being a writer without having to write.
01:16:23.000 Yeah.
01:16:23.000 You know, if I could, like, do it.
01:16:25.000 You're in it.
01:16:25.000 You remember you signed a release for it.
01:16:27.000 Yeah, yeah, I remember.
01:16:28.000 I hope you remember that, Joe.
01:16:31.000 You and Duncan and my mother blurbed it.
01:16:35.000 Oh, that's awesome.
01:16:36.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:16:37.000 You don't even know you blurbed it.
01:16:39.000 We just lifted something you said on a...
01:16:42.000 On a podcast about you?
01:16:43.000 Yeah.
01:16:43.000 He said...
01:16:44.000 Oh, perfect.
01:16:45.000 What is it?
01:16:45.000 He said...
01:16:46.000 Whatever it is, I sign off on it now.
01:16:48.000 He said, Chris is the best beta cuck I've ever met.
01:16:58.000 So yeah, that's my dream, is to put out one of these a year.
01:17:01.000 That's a great idea.
01:17:02.000 I mean, really, there's a lot of amazing conversations that I've had with people on this podcast that I would love to see written down where I could read it, go over it, and not hear my own fucking voice.
01:17:11.000 And also, people have it in the bathroom.
01:17:14.000 It's like a little thing.
01:17:15.000 You just pick it up, whatever it is.
01:17:16.000 You don't need to follow the flow.
01:17:19.000 And you're encouraging reading, which is a dying thing.
01:17:21.000 And there are a lot of people out there who don't listen to podcasts, right?
01:17:25.000 Me included.
01:17:25.000 I rarely listen to podcasts.
01:17:27.000 Do you listen to books on tape?
01:17:28.000 No.
01:17:29.000 No?
01:17:29.000 See, I don't have spaces in my life where I'm doing something that would allow me to listen to voices talking that wouldn't interfere with what I'm doing.
01:17:40.000 So, like, I'm not a carpenter.
01:17:43.000 I'm not driving long distances.
01:17:45.000 You know, it's like I'm either...
01:17:47.000 Writing or doing my podcast or something else.
01:17:53.000 I don't commute.
01:17:55.000 You know what I mean?
01:17:56.000 So there's a specific sort of activities that lend themselves to listening to podcasts.
01:18:03.000 And a lot of people just don't have those spaces in their lives.
01:18:06.000 Right.
01:18:08.000 I envision the book as something where people can be like, hey, dude, I know you don't listen to podcasts, but this is why I do.
01:18:14.000 These are the sorts of crazy-ass conversations that Chris and Duncan and Joe get into, and that's why I like listening to those guys.
01:18:22.000 Or Wim Hof or Graham Hancock.
01:18:24.000 All these guys are in the book.
01:18:26.000 Oh, awesome.
01:18:26.000 Yeah.
01:18:27.000 Yeah, man, if I stopped and thought about it, because before I started doing the podcast, I would listen to recordings of lectures that Terrence McKenna would give or Timothy Leary.
01:18:40.000 There wasn't a lot.
01:18:42.000 Or listen to Art Bell having some weird UFO expert on or something like that.
01:18:48.000 That's really what you had to listen to.
01:18:50.000 You didn't have very many choices.
01:18:51.000 Right.
01:18:52.000 And then I think about all the conversations that I've been able to have with guys like John Anthony West, with Graham Hancock and Randall Carlson and Michael Shermer and you and Duncan and Ari.
01:19:02.000 I mean, so many people have had these crazy conversations with them that, to me, they've been...
01:19:07.000 I mean, it's shaped the way I look at everything.
01:19:11.000 It's changed everything.
01:19:12.000 So I feel like I'm constantly getting educated, you know?
01:19:15.000 Yeah, you set up your life as, like, you know, I'm not talking about myself, but you've had guests who are some of the smartest people in the world who come to you to sit here and chat with you.
01:19:29.000 I mean, you have set up an amazing little...
01:19:33.000 It's an educational institution here.
01:19:35.000 Sometimes.
01:19:35.000 Sometimes it's educational.
01:19:37.000 Sometimes it's chaos.
01:19:39.000 Well, that's educational.
01:19:41.000 Yeah.
01:19:41.000 Well, it certainly is.
01:19:42.000 You learn about what we're like when we're drunk.
01:19:44.000 But what it is is, you know, I mean, it's a thing.
01:19:50.000 And it's a thing that's enjoyable to me.
01:19:52.000 It's like I like having all these conversations.
01:19:54.000 So...
01:19:55.000 If I can record them and they just put them out there and other people like them, this is a very rare, balanced sort of relationship.
01:20:03.000 So to me, there's no other way I'd get...
01:20:05.000 If I said to you, hey, Chris, let's sit down and talk for three hours, you'd be like, okay, all right, I'll block off three hours for you.
01:20:13.000 Can I look at my phone at all during this time?
01:20:16.000 Can I get up to go to the bathroom?
01:20:17.000 We would never have this as connected a conversation.
01:20:20.000 Yeah.
01:20:21.000 I just got another set of headphones to give to my guests because ostensibly the main reason is I'm using handheld now because my whole thing's mobile, right?
01:20:31.000 Right, right, right.
01:20:32.000 People will occasionally come to my place in Topanga, but normally I go to them.
01:20:37.000 They can't hear when they're recording.
01:20:38.000 They don't hear, so I have to keep going, hey, hey, the mic.
01:20:41.000 A lot of them, they're not used to talking on mics and all that.
01:20:44.000 But the other reason I got it is my buddy Kyle actually pointed out to me that when you both have headphones, you're both...
01:20:52.000 In a shared space.
01:20:55.000 And you're much less likely to be thinking about your phone or whatever.
01:20:58.000 Because you're both, like, I don't know what it does, but it seals it off in a way.
01:21:02.000 Yeah, we talked about that yesterday, actually.
01:21:04.000 Me and Eddie Bravo talked about it.
01:21:06.000 Because he doesn't like to wear them.
01:21:07.000 Because he doesn't like the sound of his own voice.
01:21:09.000 And I said, he and I are so comfortable.
01:21:11.000 We've been friends for so long.
01:21:12.000 We didn't need to wear them.
01:21:14.000 I feel like when you're having a conversation with someone, it cuts out everything else.
01:21:18.000 Right.
01:21:18.000 It's just you two there.
01:21:20.000 There's no distractions in the room, but if there were, they would be less distracting because of the headphones.
01:21:24.000 Well, that's the thing.
01:21:25.000 I'm out sitting in a campsite somewhere or by a river or whatever.
01:21:30.000 There's a lot going on.
01:21:31.000 Yeah, and the handheld microphone, too, is a big thing.
01:21:33.000 And if you get a mic that picks up everything, then they pick up everything and everything.
01:21:37.000 They pick up some shit over by the outhouse you'd hear in the background.
01:21:40.000 Yeah.
01:21:41.000 I was using lapel mics for a while, but they were omnidirectional.
01:21:44.000 It was too much.
01:21:45.000 And people were complaining, like, dude, in the car, I can't hear.
01:21:50.000 So I got the handheld.
01:21:51.000 It is an interesting thing, right?
01:21:53.000 Because this is not something that a production company would ever get together and fund.
01:21:58.000 Because they would say, if they did, they'd have a sound guy.
01:22:01.000 And they'd have a camera.
01:22:02.000 Like, half the fund.
01:22:17.000 It's not that bad.
01:22:24.000 Yeah, I did that recently in the van.
01:22:26.000 I was driving.
01:22:26.000 I had some ideas.
01:22:27.000 I just grabbed my phone and started talking into it, and I threw it up.
01:22:30.000 And people like it because one thing they know, this is one of the things that's appealing about podcasts in general, is that it's not produced.
01:22:37.000 Right.
01:22:38.000 It's just this is what it is.
01:22:39.000 It's like you got an idea, and I'm getting it right from Chris Ryan's head.
01:22:43.000 It's going right from his head, right into that phone, and then it's going right into my ears.
01:22:47.000 There's no filters there.
01:22:48.000 It's getting right into your head.
01:22:49.000 It's one of the weirdest things about podcasts in general is that the intimacy...
01:22:53.000 Of your voice in someone else's head.
01:22:56.000 Like, I'm sure when you meet them, they get weirded out, right?
01:22:58.000 A lot of people get weird.
01:22:59.000 Because you've been in their head.
01:23:00.000 And all of a sudden, you're right in front of them.
01:23:02.000 Yeah.
01:23:02.000 Like, yeah, and it's strange.
01:23:05.000 Like, they know you.
01:23:06.000 Yes.
01:23:07.000 You know?
01:23:07.000 And they really do know you.
01:23:09.000 It's not like fame where you're an actor and people are like, oh, I know your face.
01:23:13.000 Like, yeah.
01:23:15.000 But yeah, I mean, people really do know Joe Rogan.
01:23:18.000 Yeah.
01:23:19.000 Strangely.
01:23:20.000 So there are parts, I know both of us have parts of our lives we don't talk about on the podcast, specifically your marriage, I guess.
01:23:27.000 Family, I don't like to talk too much about.
01:23:29.000 Yeah, I'm that way too.
01:23:31.000 My impulse is to talk about everything.
01:23:34.000 My impulse is like, I got nothing, I got no secrets.
01:23:37.000 Because I feel like there's a...
01:23:39.000 Like a revolutionary shamelessness.
01:23:43.000 I feel so privileged and largely thanks to you and Duncan, honestly.
01:23:48.000 When I started the podcast and you guys did that shrimp parade thing and that really built up my audience and to the point now where it's self-sustaining and it's my main gig.
01:23:59.000 That's awesome.
01:23:59.000 It is awesome.
01:24:00.000 It's incredible.
01:24:01.000 But I feel like there's a responsibility I have in a way.
01:24:05.000 To express yourself.
01:24:08.000 Shamelessly.
01:24:08.000 Because everybody else has a job they can get fired from.
01:24:12.000 Or a marriage that they can get, you know, screwed.
01:24:16.000 Their wife can leave them.
01:24:18.000 I'm invulnerable.
01:24:20.000 And so I kind of feel like, all right, so the cost of that, you know, every opportunity or every, you know, privilege comes with a responsibility.
01:24:28.000 The responsibility is like, I got to talk about shit that other people don't talk about.
01:24:34.000 So that it's out there.
01:24:36.000 And so my impulse is to just say everything.
01:24:38.000 And my sex life has been very interesting, and I'd like to talk about it more.
01:24:44.000 But other people never sort of said they were down for that.
01:24:50.000 That's magnified when you have children, because they have no say.
01:24:55.000 Well, that's the other invulnerability I have.
01:24:57.000 They put their kids out there, and I'm like, well, okay.
01:25:00.000 I'm not saying it's the worst thing to do, but it's not the child's choice, and they're very young, and you're making a...
01:25:07.000 Look, whoever did what they did to Michael Jackson, right?
01:25:11.000 Yeah.
01:25:12.000 One of the things that they did is they made him famous way before he had any idea what the fuck that meant, and they profited off of it.
01:25:17.000 Yeah.
01:25:18.000 They kind of pimped him out, right?
01:25:19.000 Yeah.
01:25:19.000 And that's kind of what's happening.
01:25:21.000 They destroyed him.
01:25:21.000 Yeah.
01:25:22.000 Ultimately, the whole thing destroyed him, right?
01:25:24.000 And...
01:25:26.000 I just I don't want to be a part of that.
01:25:28.000 I just there's no I think that's smart.
01:25:30.000 I don't think it's intelligent and I also don't this is my real honest feelings I do not think that fame is I don't think that people should aspire to it I think it should be something that happens if people like your work and then it's cool.
01:25:46.000 It's fine But I think there's way too much emphasis put on just trying to get attention.
01:25:54.000 And it's being rewarded and supported in this weird way.
01:25:58.000 There's nothing wrong with getting attention, but it should make sense.
01:26:03.000 It should make sense.
01:26:04.000 There should be some reason.
01:26:05.000 And if it's out of balance, you should probably look at why Why is it out of balance?
01:26:13.000 Yeah.
01:26:13.000 And lots of things that attract attention are not things that we want more of, you know?
01:26:21.000 Like conflict.
01:26:22.000 Yes, conflict.
01:26:22.000 That's a big one.
01:26:23.000 But it's also just fame itself.
01:26:28.000 One of the weirdest parts about it is that you have to constantly be checking yourself.
01:26:34.000 Like, all these people are nice to you.
01:26:36.000 All these people are saying nice things to you or being mean to you.
01:26:41.000 All people that you don't even know.
01:26:43.000 So you can't rely on them for your self-esteem.
01:26:45.000 And you certainly can't rely on them for criticism.
01:26:48.000 You can't rely on them.
01:26:49.000 People you don't even know that don't care about you.
01:26:52.000 So you're in this weird position.
01:26:54.000 You have to be very careful with who you communicate with.
01:26:58.000 Because one of the weirdest things you'll see from famous people is all of a sudden they get this very strange thing where they feel like people are supposed to do things for them.
01:27:08.000 And they're not supposed to pay for things.
01:27:10.000 And everything's supposed to be easy.
01:27:12.000 And they're supposed to get that...
01:27:15.000 That's a weird one.
01:27:16.000 They don't respond to criticism well.
01:27:19.000 They don't understand that they're still a human being in the middle of growth.
01:27:21.000 No, they're a fucking star.
01:27:23.000 I'm a fucking star, and I want this, and I want it now.
01:27:26.000 And they're just like, what kind of fucking bullshit is this?
01:27:29.000 Do you know who I am?
01:27:30.000 Yeah, exactly.
01:27:30.000 We've all seen a version of that, right?
01:27:34.000 And we know about it.
01:27:35.000 The problem, though, is that they...
01:27:39.000 Know that their shit stinks.
01:27:40.000 They know that they're human.
01:27:43.000 So then they develop this sort of fraud phobia that people are going to find out what they really are.
01:27:52.000 I mean, I've seen this with fashion models.
01:27:54.000 I used to hang out with a lot of fashion models in Barcelona.
01:27:58.000 You know that whole story where I lived in the mansion with the fashion models?
01:28:01.000 Did you talk about that?
01:28:02.000 Could be.
01:28:03.000 I don't know.
01:28:03.000 I'm not sure, but I'd love to hear it again.
01:28:05.000 Who can keep track of what the fuck we've talked about?
01:28:06.000 I know, it's impossible.
01:28:07.000 Yeah.
01:28:08.000 It's impossible.
01:28:09.000 Yeah, anyway, so, yeah, fashion models, fame, wealth, people who are extremely wealthy.
01:28:16.000 And that gets back to the 70 grand a year thing and the whole sort of question of You know, saturation.
01:28:24.000 You know what else it is?
01:28:25.000 It becomes a real problem with things being too easy and life being, like, way too patterned.
01:28:33.000 Like, everything is very predictable in terms of, like, your success.
01:28:36.000 You have plenty of money.
01:28:38.000 You have adulation from fans without any stress or diress.
01:28:42.000 You can have a little bit of stress in terms of, like, trying to manage your career, but it's nothing like trying to make it.
01:28:47.000 That I don't know if I'm ever going to make it stress.
01:28:50.000 That's a totally different kind of stress.
01:28:51.000 I don't know if I'm ever going to be a success stress.
01:28:53.000 That's real shit.
01:28:54.000 That goes away once you definitely become Kanye West or whoever the fuck you are.
01:28:58.000 And then you're subject to your own demons.
01:29:01.000 Because then you're alone.
01:29:02.000 You're really alone.
01:29:03.000 You can't even go to the grocery store.
01:29:04.000 Have you spent any time with Jim Carrey?
01:29:06.000 No, I don't know him.
01:29:08.000 I'd love to meet that guy.
01:29:09.000 Yeah, he seems like he's in a weird stage of his life.
01:29:12.000 He seems to me like someone who, you talked about, you get to that pinnacle and you have to deal with your demons.
01:29:20.000 It seems like he's dealt with them and now he's come out the other side and he's in this very sort of...
01:29:28.000 This place of wisdom and yeah, I just think he's something.
01:29:36.000 Russell Brand is another guy who I think I really admire where they are in their lives and how they got there.
01:29:43.000 They sort of went through the fire and they've come out the other side somehow.
01:29:48.000 Russell certainly has.
01:29:48.000 I know Russell.
01:29:49.000 He's a sweetie.
01:29:50.000 He really is a super sweet guy.
01:29:52.000 Like, genuine, too.
01:29:53.000 And really trying to, like, be a better person and a better human.
01:29:57.000 And, you know, I don't agree with him on everything.
01:29:59.000 He gets a little social justice warrior-y on some things.
01:30:02.000 But I think it's just because he wants to do good.
01:30:04.000 And he's, like, leaning towards good.
01:30:06.000 And he's leaning towards love.
01:30:07.000 And it's all for the right reasons.
01:30:10.000 Like, even if I don't agree with him, I see how he's thinking.
01:30:13.000 And even if I don't agree with him, it's a soft do not agree.
01:30:15.000 It's not a hard do not agree.
01:30:16.000 Yeah.
01:30:17.000 He's a fascinating guy.
01:30:19.000 Yeah.
01:30:19.000 I think if Jesus came back, he'd be Russell Brand.
01:30:23.000 He'd probably fuck a few less chicks.
01:30:25.000 I don't know.
01:30:26.000 Maybe Jesus would go just slinging dick all over the place just to remove everybody of their ego.
01:30:31.000 Show everybody you don't possess these women.
01:30:33.000 Years ago, I came back from Asia.
01:30:36.000 I was in Asia for a couple of years and I visited my best buddy in Paris and we're throwing a football around, I remember, in some back street in Paris, which freaked out the Parisians, of course.
01:30:46.000 And my buddy's like the opposite of me.
01:30:49.000 He's religious.
01:30:50.000 He's disciplined.
01:30:51.000 He speaks seven languages.
01:30:53.000 He's a musical prodigy.
01:30:56.000 I'm a lazy fuck.
01:30:57.000 Growing up, it was like I was Kirk.
01:30:59.000 He was Spock.
01:31:00.000 It was that kind of dynamic.
01:31:02.000 Half your audience won't even know who we're talking about.
01:31:04.000 Isn't that sad?
01:31:05.000 Yeah.
01:31:07.000 Which explains why I've always wanted to fuck a green woman.
01:31:11.000 I've got this thing.
01:31:13.000 But he said to me, he's like, Chris, I figured you out, man.
01:31:17.000 I said, what's the deal?
01:31:18.000 He said, you're the anti-monk.
01:31:21.000 So what do you mean?
01:31:21.000 He said, monks cut themselves off from the temptations of life in order to pursue a spiritual path.
01:31:29.000 You're pursuing a spiritual path, but it's by way of the temptations of life.
01:31:34.000 You immerse yourself in them.
01:31:36.000 Because in those days I was doing a lot of drugs and, you know, whatever.
01:31:39.000 And I think he's right.
01:31:42.000 And in Buddhism there is a path of The drunken guru, right?
01:31:48.000 There is a path of sex and altered states of consciousness and sort of, you know, William Blake said, the palace of wisdom lies at the end of the road of excess.
01:32:01.000 Mm-hmm.
01:32:02.000 You know, and so someone like Russell Brand, I think that's his path.
01:32:06.000 He's gone through the addictions and the orgies and all that stuff that a lot of people think would make them happy.
01:32:13.000 He's like, check those boxes.
01:32:14.000 Like, no, that didn't do it.
01:32:16.000 And check them in a way that very few humans ever get to check them, right?
01:32:19.000 Hell yeah.
01:32:20.000 Because he's a beautiful man and a superstar.
01:32:22.000 Yeah.
01:32:22.000 And he came on the other side and became this, you know, really conscious, very spiritual person.
01:32:27.000 Yeah, and very humble.
01:32:28.000 And a sweetie.
01:32:29.000 A really nice guy.
01:32:30.000 I think humility is what you find if you get through to the other side.
01:32:34.000 Yeah, I think so.
01:32:36.000 But even when you get through the other side, there's no destination.
01:32:40.000 It's not like a spot you get to.
01:32:41.000 I made it.
01:32:43.000 Finally, I can relax.
01:32:44.000 I'm here.
01:32:44.000 Yeah.
01:32:45.000 Well, you used that phrase a minute ago, like, you know, trying to make it.
01:32:49.000 Yeah.
01:32:49.000 Make it.
01:32:50.000 It's like, it's as if you'll make it, and then you'll have it made.
01:32:54.000 Yeah.
01:32:55.000 You know, like, what?
01:32:56.000 What did we make?
01:32:57.000 What's made?
01:32:58.000 The make it thing is really, for a comic, it's just this, the high unlikelihood of success is always looming over you.
01:33:06.000 And what is success?
01:33:08.000 A Netflix special?
01:33:09.000 No, not even.
01:33:10.000 Just being able to work.
01:33:12.000 Just being a working comedian.
01:33:14.000 Just paying your rent with your stand-up.
01:33:16.000 That was always the dream.
01:33:17.000 Every comic that starts out, if they're being honest, like Fitzsimmons and I have talked about this a hundred times because we'd never thought of a career.
01:33:25.000 Fitzsimmons has won at least two Emmys for writing.
01:33:30.000 Brilliant guy.
01:33:32.000 And, you know, we were just two dorks.
01:33:35.000 Two 21-year-old dorks hanging out together in Boston.
01:33:38.000 You weren't a dork, dude.
01:33:39.000 You were a fucking martial arts expert.
01:33:41.000 Even though I was a martial arts expert, I was a dork, dude.
01:33:43.000 I would get nervous talking.
01:33:45.000 I talked about this.
01:33:46.000 I never could figure out why I'd freak out when I would be about to talk to a bank teller.
01:33:50.000 Like, walking up to...
01:33:51.000 I'd get, like, social anxiety.
01:33:53.000 I wouldn't know.
01:33:54.000 I would get nervous about it.
01:33:55.000 It's not a good place to look nervous.
01:33:57.000 Yeah, exactly, right?
01:33:58.000 I mean, but back then it didn't even make sense because I was fighting.
01:34:01.000 And I would still get nervous talking to any person who was an official person.
01:34:06.000 Any person like a teacher or a principal or anybody.
01:34:11.000 Authority figure.
01:34:11.000 Any authority figure.
01:34:12.000 I would get super nervous talking to them.
01:34:14.000 My wife gets that way around anyone wearing a uniform freaks her out because she was in a war when she was a kid.
01:34:20.000 Oh, wow.
01:34:21.000 So like immigration guys, she starts shaking.
01:34:25.000 TSA workers?
01:34:25.000 Yeah.
01:34:26.000 Yeah.
01:34:27.000 No, I hear you, man.
01:34:27.000 Well, uniform means uniform behavior, right?
01:34:30.000 Uniform means shit could go sideways.
01:34:32.000 When's the last time you wore a tie?
01:34:36.000 Too many uniforms.
01:34:37.000 Probably when I was taking the photos for my 1999 CD. Because on the cover of the CD, I decided to dress like old school Frank Sinatra.
01:34:50.000 I just decided, when I made the CD, I was thinking, I never wear a tie, a suit and a tie.
01:34:56.000 That'd be fun if I just decided to wear a suit and a tie for the cover of this.
01:34:58.000 So that's it right there.
01:34:59.000 That's probably the last time I wore a tie.
01:35:03.000 I'm going to be dead someday.
01:35:07.000 Yeah, that's the theme song to my podcast, is You're Gonna Die One Day.
01:35:12.000 Yeah, I don't want to give the end away, but you're gonna die one day.
01:35:16.000 It's a good song.
01:35:17.000 Carpe fucking diem, baby.
01:35:19.000 Yeah, enjoy that.
01:35:20.000 I mean, don't dwell on it too much.
01:35:22.000 Don't freak out, you know?
01:35:23.000 Well, it's like, I think every young man should shave his head.
01:35:28.000 Like at 21 or something, shave your head.
01:35:30.000 See yourself bald for a month or however long it takes to grow back.
01:35:35.000 And it's like, okay, that's it.
01:35:37.000 Some dudes have terrible shaped heads, though.
01:35:39.000 You say this, but you have a normal head.
01:35:41.000 I don't know.
01:35:42.000 I've never shaved my head.
01:35:43.000 I have a friend that looks like his parents never picked him up for the first year of his life to just let him lay down on a flat marble pillow.
01:35:50.000 His head is flat like a fucking pizza, this poor bastard.
01:35:53.000 On the top?
01:35:54.000 Or at the back?
01:35:55.000 The back of his head's flat.
01:35:56.000 I think his parents just ignored the shit out of him.
01:35:59.000 And he's got a flat head.
01:36:00.000 You know about the flathead Indians?
01:36:02.000 Which ones are those?
01:36:03.000 There was up in Idaho, that area, northern.
01:36:07.000 Yeah, they would put a board on the baby's head because the heads are so malleable and then tighten it and they'd look like cone heads.
01:36:15.000 They'd scare the fuck out of anybody.
01:36:18.000 I'm sure.
01:36:19.000 If you saw those dudes riding up, holy shit.
01:36:21.000 I'm sure.
01:36:21.000 War paint, flatheads.
01:36:23.000 That was a thing about some of the, I think, was it Peru?
01:36:29.000 Where they would find a lot of these skulls from a certain period of time that had been elongated.
01:36:34.000 And the alien people went nutty.
01:36:36.000 Like, this is it.
01:36:37.000 This is evidence.
01:36:38.000 This is evidence of contact.
01:36:40.000 The aliens, they've been here.
01:36:42.000 But it's just boards.
01:36:44.000 They just put boards on the side of their heads and stretched their heads up.
01:36:47.000 They think they might have even been trying to emulate one of, like, originally the idea was bounced about that someone in the royal family in Egypt had deformities.
01:37:00.000 And that was one of the things that said about King Tut.
01:37:04.000 Like, King Tut was not a healthy person.
01:37:07.000 Like, that he may very well have been the product of incest.
01:37:12.000 And that there was some...
01:37:13.000 Do you remember reading about this?
01:37:15.000 Yeah, I know about the incest in the Egyptians.
01:37:17.000 Yeah, and that some of the, like, heads, when you see people with, like, elongated heads and hieroglyphs and images, they might have actually done that to try to replicate someone who had something fucked up with To normalize it.
01:37:31.000 Which might have been like a royal who had been...
01:37:34.000 Like, look at...
01:37:34.000 That's his head.
01:37:36.000 That's his actual head.
01:37:38.000 So on the left, that's Tutankat.
01:37:41.000 Is that his real head?
01:37:44.000 Peru.
01:37:45.000 Oh, these are giant skulls.
01:37:47.000 They have King Tut's head, too, though.
01:37:51.000 See if you can Google King Tut's head.
01:37:53.000 The ones in Peru, they're pretty sure, with a high degree of certainty.
01:37:58.000 I don't want to give you a number, but that they use boards and flatten their heads out.
01:38:00.000 Well, an example of that is in Spanish.
01:38:03.000 Yeah, look at his head.
01:38:04.000 Look at what Tut's head must have looked like.
01:38:06.000 It was all fucking weird.
01:38:07.000 It was all stretched out.
01:38:09.000 Like, look at that.
01:38:09.000 Like, if you saw that on the ship of a spaceship, on the deck, like, walking around, you'd be like, oh my god, that's the alien.
01:38:16.000 Oh, he must be from another planet.
01:38:18.000 Right?
01:38:18.000 Like, if you were on a spaceship, say if you're watching Star Trek, and that dude walks by, like, well, for sure, that dude must be playing someone from another planet.
01:38:25.000 With a martini on his head.
01:38:27.000 Like, look, the top of his head is flat.
01:38:29.000 There's all this extra brain that looks like there's, like, 10% extra brain.
01:38:33.000 Maybe more.
01:38:34.000 What the fuck is going on back there?
01:38:37.000 Here's the Flathead Indians.
01:38:38.000 This is a painting of it.
01:38:39.000 There you go.
01:38:40.000 That's what they did to the babies.
01:38:42.000 That would make you very non-aerodynamic.
01:38:46.000 You'd be like a Land Rover Defender.
01:38:48.000 Like a big flat square thing.
01:38:51.000 Similar skulls though.
01:38:53.000 Oh wow.
01:38:56.000 That normalizing...
01:38:58.000 It's crazy looking, isn't it?
01:39:00.000 A royal weirdness.
01:39:01.000 You ever hear Spanish people speak?
01:39:03.000 They have the lisp.
01:39:05.000 The lisp, yeah.
01:39:05.000 Well, they say that's because one of the kings had a lisp and then all the courtiers started replicating it to seem cool.
01:39:12.000 You had told me about that and I had forgotten when it came up the other day when someone was bringing up Abiza.
01:39:19.000 Abiza.
01:39:19.000 Yeah, and then I remembered it after the podcast was over.
01:39:23.000 Yeah, I don't know that that's true.
01:39:24.000 I mean, I haven't looked it up if it's historically accurate or even if there's a way to know because there are no recordings, right?
01:39:32.000 Do you know the powdered wig one?
01:39:33.000 Do you know where that came from?
01:39:35.000 No, no.
01:39:35.000 That's the best one.
01:39:36.000 That is a weird one.
01:39:37.000 That came from syphilis.
01:39:38.000 Really?
01:39:38.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:39:40.000 How?
01:39:40.000 Because men started getting syphilis.
01:39:42.000 Find out what year it was.
01:39:44.000 I forget what year.
01:39:44.000 We just brought it up recently.
01:39:45.000 But there was a royal family, I think two brothers.
01:39:49.000 They both had syphilis.
01:39:50.000 And they started losing their hair.
01:39:52.000 And a lot of men were losing their hair to syphilis back then.
01:39:54.000 They just had it.
01:39:55.000 Nobody knew what the fuck it was, right?
01:39:57.000 So they would make wigs.
01:39:58.000 And the more expensive the wig was, the bigger it would be.
01:40:04.000 So the really rich people would be big wigs.
01:40:06.000 Big wigs!
01:40:07.000 That's where big wigs come from.
01:40:09.000 They literally put this style on to mask the effects of syphilis.
01:40:15.000 Jesus.
01:40:16.000 It's a great story.
01:40:17.000 I didn't know syphilis made your hair fall.
01:40:19.000 Yeah, your teeth rot out.
01:40:20.000 You're falling apart, man.
01:40:21.000 You're rotten from the inside.
01:40:22.000 Your nervous system gets really screwed.
01:40:24.000 And you're shooting your rotten jizz into somebody and giving it to them, too, and you don't even know what the hell's going on.
01:40:28.000 Louis XIV was only 17 when his mops started thinning.
01:40:33.000 Yeah, so 1655, when the King of France started losing his hair.
01:40:39.000 And so if you scroll down, it goes into the whole syphilis thing.
01:40:43.000 Wig out.
01:40:45.000 So where's the syphilis part?
01:40:47.000 They mentioned up above that he probably had the brothers had syphilis.
01:40:52.000 Yeah, apparently everybody had it back then.
01:40:53.000 You just imagine.
01:40:54.000 These people, I mean, they only lived to be 30. The syphilis outbreak sparked a surge in wig making.
01:41:00.000 Victims hid their baldness as well as bloody sores that scoured their faces with wigs made out of horse, goat, or human hair.
01:41:08.000 Perukes were also coated with powder, scented with lavender or orange to hide any funky aromas.
01:41:15.000 Although common wigs were not exactly stylish, they were just a shameful necessity.
01:41:21.000 So the King of France started losing his hair in 1655, and that's when everybody hopped on.
01:41:26.000 And his cousin, Charles II, did the same thing.
01:41:29.000 Both men likely had syphilis.
01:41:34.000 Syphilis created a whole thing where judges would wear those wigs, those powdered wigs.
01:41:40.000 They would look like they were important people.
01:41:42.000 Look at my wig.
01:41:43.000 You know what we're doing right now?
01:41:45.000 Detribalizing.
01:41:46.000 Right now?
01:41:46.000 Yeah.
01:41:47.000 See, we're looking at our own culture.
01:41:48.000 I mean, it's British culture in this case.
01:41:50.000 And seeing how it's all this arbitrary silliness.
01:41:54.000 Mm-hmm.
01:41:55.000 And that's travel.
01:41:56.000 That's what travel does for you.
01:41:58.000 Because you see it in other cultures, and then you look back at your own and you're like, oh shit, we do weird shit too.
01:42:04.000 We're all weird.
01:42:06.000 It's like Einstein, right?
01:42:10.000 That there's no fixed point from which to observe anything.
01:42:13.000 You're always on a moving...
01:42:15.000 Your perspective is always mobile.
01:42:18.000 So there is no objective truth culturally.
01:42:22.000 It's all looking at one thing from another thing, and both of them are moving.
01:42:26.000 Yeah.
01:42:27.000 I love that shit.
01:42:28.000 Yeah.
01:42:29.000 And again, I think it leads to humility.
01:42:32.000 I think so, too.
01:42:33.000 You know?
01:42:33.000 I think all roads lead to humility, ultimately.
01:42:36.000 It just leads to a greater perspective.
01:42:38.000 I mean, if you live in a small town, and I'm not knocking Ohio, Jamie, but if you live in a small town in Ohio, that's what you're used to.
01:42:45.000 And you kind of, like, develop your pattern of what you expect to see in the world based on what's around you in a very close, immediate area.
01:42:52.000 But if you're in the fucking rainforest of Bolivia, And you're hanging out with these tribal folks who are going to go hunt a monkey.
01:43:00.000 And you're with them on a monkey hunt.
01:43:01.000 And they're all excited.
01:43:02.000 They shoot this monkey out of a tree with a bow and arrow they made themselves.
01:43:05.000 And then they're cooking this monkey over a fire and throwing wet leaves on it and smoking it.
01:43:09.000 And you're like, what the fuck?
01:43:11.000 And these people do this every day and they're going to die in this forest.
01:43:14.000 I mean, this is what they do.
01:43:16.000 This is how they live.
01:43:16.000 And for you, it's like, I got to get out of here.
01:43:18.000 For them, this is like, this is the small town in Ohio.
01:43:22.000 This is just the small town in Ohio in the jungle.
01:43:25.000 This is to them.
01:43:26.000 This is their world.
01:43:27.000 And maybe, interestingly, for you it isn't, I gotta get out of here.
01:43:31.000 Maybe it's like, this is where I should have been my whole life.
01:43:35.000 There are thousands of cases of people from civilization running away to go native.
01:43:42.000 There are no historical cases that I know of where native people have chosen to come and live in civilization.
01:43:48.000 Yeah, I hate to beat a dead horse because I always do, but Sebastian Junger's Tribe is amazing for that.
01:43:53.000 It's a great book.
01:43:54.000 I really enjoy that book.
01:43:55.000 I talk about it too much.
01:43:56.000 It's one of those things.
01:43:57.000 It's a good book.
01:43:57.000 It is really good.
01:44:01.000 I've read it three times.
01:44:03.000 It's a short book.
01:44:04.000 It covers a lot of the same ground that I cover in Civilized to Death, actually.
01:44:09.000 I quote him in Civilized to Death.
01:44:12.000 We have some of the same sources.
01:44:14.000 But yeah, he looked at some of that...
01:44:17.000 Those accounts of people running away to go live with the natives.
01:44:20.000 And it makes sense.
01:44:21.000 Totally makes sense.
01:44:22.000 I mean, it makes sense like a dog.
01:44:23.000 You ever read Call of the Wild?
01:44:26.000 Jack London?
01:44:27.000 Jack London, yeah.
01:44:28.000 I think I read it in high school.
01:44:30.000 It's a good book.
01:44:31.000 It's about a husky who goes and lives with the wolves.
01:44:34.000 It's essentially the story of the domesticated being going and living with the wild iterations of that same being, right?
01:44:42.000 So it's like one of us and going to live in the Amazon or whatever.
01:44:47.000 A fantastic book, if you like that kind of thing, is At Play in the Fields of the Lord.
01:44:52.000 I've heard of that book as well, but I never read that one.
01:44:54.000 Peter Matheson.
01:44:56.000 That's an old book, right?
01:44:58.000 Isn't it?
01:44:58.000 It's probably 30 years old, maybe more.
01:45:00.000 And it was made into a film starring Daryl Hannah and Tom Waits.
01:45:04.000 Oh, yeah.
01:45:05.000 And who else?
01:45:07.000 John Lithgow, Kathy Bates.
01:45:09.000 Incredible, incredible cast.
01:45:12.000 There's something that you get from escaping civilization that you...
01:45:20.000 You don't know you're missing it until you're out there.
01:45:23.000 When you're out there, and I'm sure you've experienced this on your travels, there's a certain detachment from the masses, just to be out of the hive and the influence of all the people around you.
01:45:35.000 As weird as it seems, There's energy that we're all exchanging in these giant hives together and some people live off of it like those New York City people like my friend Jeff lives in New York City.
01:45:46.000 He's always gonna live in New York City.
01:45:47.000 This is what I like.
01:45:48.000 He likes it.
01:45:49.000 I love it.
01:45:50.000 He's walking through the streets.
01:45:52.000 Yes!
01:45:53.000 That's his thing.
01:45:55.000 To me, I'm like, wow.
01:45:56.000 My thought is always, how do you guys do this?
01:45:58.000 How do you guys do this?
01:45:59.000 That's all I ever think.
01:46:00.000 How the fuck do you guys do this?
01:46:01.000 For him, how could you live any other way?
01:46:04.000 But the people that But he has got a good life.
01:46:07.000 See, he enjoys what he does.
01:46:09.000 He has a fulfilled life.
01:46:10.000 He's happy.
01:46:11.000 But if you didn't, I think we're talking about the same thing.
01:46:15.000 I'm talking about Jardia.
01:46:16.000 Have you ever had Jardia?
01:46:18.000 Yeah, got it in Nepal.
01:46:19.000 I heard it's rough.
01:46:20.000 Yeah, your farts smell really interesting.
01:46:23.000 You might not have got it too bad, because I have a friend who got it really bad where he's sick in hospital for like two days.
01:46:29.000 Yeah, I didn't go to the hospital.
01:46:30.000 By that point, I'd been traveling for a few years.
01:46:32.000 I've had Jardy, I've had hepatitis.
01:46:34.000 I mean, I've had some, I've had, you know...
01:46:40.000 Yeah.
01:46:40.000 I spent three days in a room in Palenque shitting and puking into the same plastic bag.
01:46:48.000 Oh, boy.
01:46:49.000 Three days in the same bag?
01:46:50.000 Yeah.
01:46:50.000 What is it like after day three?
01:46:53.000 If you had your worst enemy and they were below you...
01:46:56.000 It was the same as day one, man.
01:46:57.000 If you were on the third floor and the worst enemy was below you just standing there smoking a cigarette, would you drop that bag on them or would you have mercy?
01:47:04.000 I'd have mercy.
01:47:05.000 I don't have any enemies that bad.
01:47:07.000 Yeah, you'd have to really hate somebody for that one, huh?
01:47:10.000 Yeah.
01:47:10.000 And the funniest thing about that was I came out of that room after...
01:47:14.000 It might have been two days, I don't know, but I came out of that room I've only been to one,
01:47:31.000 to Chichen Itza.
01:47:32.000 Yeah, Chichen Itza's cool.
01:47:33.000 Chichen Itza's much more sort of commercialized.
01:47:35.000 Palenque's pretty wild still.
01:47:37.000 And Tulum is another one.
01:47:39.000 Is that Aztec?
01:47:40.000 It's Mayan.
01:47:42.000 Anyway, I come out and there's this woman there, this German woman, and we start chatting a little bit.
01:47:47.000 And this was at a time in my life where I was really nervous around women and, you know, whatever.
01:47:54.000 And this woman was like super into me.
01:47:57.000 And I was like, I could not fuck you.
01:48:01.000 I just felt so sick and horrible.
01:48:06.000 And it turned out later I got to know her a little bit.
01:48:08.000 She was really into punk music and she thought I looked like Johnny Rotten.
01:48:12.000 Oh, so she thought you were cute because you looked like Johnny Rotten?
01:48:14.000 She thought I was cute because I looked like I was about to die.
01:48:17.000 She was into that look.
01:48:18.000 Just for people out there that you might go camping, please just get a gravity filter.
01:48:23.000 Don't get jarred yet.
01:48:24.000 It's real easy.
01:48:25.000 And there's also a thing called a SteriPen.
01:48:28.000 SteriPen's wonderful.
01:48:29.000 You take this SteriPen, you run it around in the water for a certain amount of time, and it kills everything bad in the water, and it doesn't taste any different.
01:48:37.000 It's literally ultraviolet light.
01:48:39.000 Right, it's like UV light.
01:48:40.000 Yeah.
01:48:40.000 There's a bunch, like SteriPen's a good one, but these gravity filters are amazing.
01:48:44.000 They have pumps, they have another one, you can take some water and you pump it, you pump it, and it goes through the filter into your water bottle and you can drink it.
01:48:51.000 You can clean up like 99.99% of all the bullshit with just a good filter, and you don't have to drop chemicals in there.
01:49:00.000 Some people bring iodine tablets and stuff like that.
01:49:04.000 You don't need to, but please don't drink at a creek, folks.
01:49:07.000 Shit could be dead just a hundred yards up.
01:49:10.000 I don't know if you can pull this up.
01:49:12.000 Just recently I read a thing online saying that it's almost never necessary to filter your water when you're camping.
01:49:20.000 And I've always filtered my water camping, but it was this thing where they took all these samples from creeks and apparently they're self-correcting mechanisms in nature.
01:49:33.000 They are.
01:49:33.000 But if something's dead, a hundred yards up, you're screwed.
01:49:38.000 You don't want that.
01:49:39.000 It's not worth it.
01:49:40.000 The gravity filter's so fucking easy.
01:49:42.000 It's like you could take the risk and shit your brains out for three days, or you can just enjoy yourself with water from the same place.
01:49:49.000 I think shitting your brains out for three days is a good experience, though.
01:49:53.000 Yeah.
01:49:53.000 It's like an ordeal poison, right?
01:49:54.000 Yeah, exactly.
01:49:57.000 You ever get high from vomiting?
01:49:59.000 No.
01:49:59.000 Have you?
01:50:00.000 Yeah.
01:50:00.000 Whoa.
01:50:01.000 Yeah, because when you vomit, you get all these endorphins.
01:50:03.000 You don't feel, like, great after you vomit?
01:50:05.000 I feel better.
01:50:06.000 Yeah.
01:50:08.000 I wouldn't go with great.
01:50:10.000 That's true.
01:50:11.000 Relatively great.
01:50:12.000 The last time I did some serious vomiting is I had food poisoning.
01:50:16.000 I guess that was about 10 years ago.
01:50:18.000 I had some pretty serious food poisoning.
01:50:19.000 It was just hurling out of me.
01:50:21.000 Yeah.
01:50:21.000 That was the last real, real, like, unstoppable...
01:50:26.000 Yeah.
01:50:26.000 Where it's just coming out and just a fat tube of it.
01:50:30.000 You ever have a colonic irrigation?
01:50:32.000 No.
01:50:32.000 I'm not into things going in my butt.
01:50:35.000 I don't believe that that is necessarily a healthy thing either.
01:50:41.000 I don't believe it's not...
01:50:43.000 But all the stuff that people are saying that it's healthy for you, I'm like, I don't necessarily think it is.
01:50:49.000 I was just talking to Andrew Weil about that.
01:50:51.000 You know him?
01:50:51.000 I sent you an email about him, actually.
01:50:53.000 You know him, the big beard?
01:50:56.000 He's a fan of yours.
01:50:57.000 Oh, okay, cool.
01:50:58.000 Yeah, I was with him in Tucson, and he's an old friend of Paul Stamets.
01:51:02.000 He was at Harvard when Leary was there.
01:51:04.000 I would love to talk to that guy, yeah.
01:51:04.000 I'll hook you up.
01:51:06.000 You know who he is?
01:51:07.000 Yeah, sure.
01:51:08.000 He comes to LA. He was the most famous doctor in America for years.
01:51:13.000 But he's really interesting because he was at Harvard with Leary.
01:51:16.000 He studied under Richard Evans Schultes.
01:51:18.000 His undergrad degree is in botany.
01:51:21.000 Richard Evans Schultes is the guy who basically discovered in commas Hundreds of psychoactive plants in the Amazon.
01:51:29.000 You know, amazing dude.
01:51:32.000 Anyway, so Andrew was right in the mix and he sort of was central in Leary getting in trouble because Andrew wrote an article in the Harvard Crimson criticizing Leary for indiscriminately giving psilocybin to students and that's what triggered a lot of the tumult after that.
01:51:54.000 Anyway, Andrew...
01:51:56.000 Went on to Harvard Med School, residency at Mass General in Boston, like top, top flight, you know, academic stuff.
01:52:05.000 But instead, he got his MD, but then he went and worked at the National Institutes of Health in Bethesda, Maryland, the main government research center.
01:52:14.000 It's like early 70s, I think.
01:52:17.000 And he has never...
01:52:24.000 I think?
01:52:37.000 You know, people have tested marijuana and they say, oh, it's bad for your brain because what they do is they get people high who've never been high and then they give them a bunch of math questions and they have trouble.
01:52:46.000 I can't answer them, whatever.
01:52:48.000 He's like, I've been high.
01:52:49.000 I don't want to do math when I'm high.
01:52:51.000 So let's test people on things they like doing when they're high, like color perception or pattern recognition or ability to recognize tonal changes in music, things like that.
01:53:03.000 And he found that their perceptions were actually heightened.
01:53:06.000 So it's like, ah, see?
01:53:07.000 Marijuana is not bad.
01:53:08.000 It's just bad for certain things and not others.
01:53:11.000 So then he did, I think it was about driving.
01:53:16.000 We said, okay, they find that marijuana impairs driving ability, but that's again because they're using naive people who've never been high before.
01:53:24.000 And they don't have a chance to practice driving while high.
01:53:27.000 So he got people, let them practice, let them get used to being high.
01:53:32.000 Then he tested their driving ability versus what it had been before or when they're not stoned and average scores and all that.
01:53:39.000 And again, he found that when people had a chance to practice, they drove fine.
01:53:43.000 There's no problem.
01:53:44.000 He got basically pushed out because he was finding, you know, he was demonstrating that it's not necessarily a bad thing.
01:53:52.000 Yeah, it's one of those things that we talked about before.
01:53:54.000 Sometimes people don't want to know the actual results.
01:53:58.000 They just want to know the results that jive with their understanding of the world.
01:54:02.000 And this is really dangerous in science because people are purporting to be objective in science.
01:54:06.000 And so often they're not.
01:54:09.000 And it's not fair.
01:54:10.000 It's also not fair to all the people that were unjustly arrested and prosecuted and then imprisoned for something that's very beneficial.
01:54:18.000 And they were saying, a lot of them, saying that they like it, saying that it does good things for them.
01:54:22.000 You know, it's not the end-all cure-all, but there's not a goddamn thing that is.
01:54:27.000 But it's certainly a tool.
01:54:28.000 Right.
01:54:28.000 And look at it objectively.
01:54:30.000 What's the ratio of benefit to danger?
01:54:33.000 You know, how many people have died from marijuana overdose?
01:54:36.000 Zero.
01:54:37.000 Ever.
01:54:37.000 Right?
01:54:38.000 And so Andy Weil's been saying this since the 70s.
01:54:40.000 That's amazing.
01:54:41.000 And his first book's called The Natural Mind.
01:54:44.000 Then he wrote The Marriage of the Sun and the Moon.
01:54:46.000 Then a book called From Chocolate to Morphine.
01:54:49.000 These are all about- Oh, that's a big stretch.
01:54:51.000 Yeah.
01:54:51.000 But chocolate is a drug, right?
01:54:52.000 Yeah, right.
01:54:52.000 Is that the idea?
01:54:53.000 Yeah, in The Marriage of the Sun and the Moon, each chapter is about a mind-altering substance or experience.
01:54:59.000 So vomiting is one chapter in there.
01:55:01.000 Cocaine, mushrooms.
01:55:03.000 So he and Paul Stamets have been buddies for 35 years or so.
01:55:05.000 Does that have anything to do with bulimia?
01:55:07.000 Is bulimia also like something where people are getting addicted to actual throwing up?
01:55:11.000 Yeah, and there are religions where people vomit every morning in India.
01:55:15.000 I think Gandhi vomited every morning.
01:55:17.000 Jesus, Gandhi.
01:55:18.000 And he drank his own piss, by the way.
01:55:20.000 Way to go.
01:55:21.000 Yeah.
01:55:21.000 So anyway, Andy Weil.
01:55:24.000 Is this kind of hippie doctor dude with all the drugs and all that and the big white beard.
01:55:30.000 And then he became very famous in the 80s with books about alternative medicine, what he calls complementary medicine.
01:55:41.000 Because he's not...
01:55:42.000 He's not saying Western medicine's bad.
01:55:43.000 He's saying it's good for some things and not the best approach to other things.
01:55:47.000 So he brings in Ayurvedic and Chinese and all these different traditions depending on what the issue is.
01:55:54.000 He became very mainstream, huge mega bestsellers on Oprah, cover Time magazine.
01:56:01.000 He started a...
01:56:02.000 A school at the University of Arizona for doctors to get a certification in complementary medicine.
01:56:09.000 So he's super mainstream successful, but he has never wavered on his stance on drugs.
01:56:18.000 And so imagine the pressures that were coming on that guy.
01:56:22.000 Unbelievable.
01:56:22.000 And he's like, no, fuck it.
01:56:23.000 The truth is the truth.
01:56:24.000 Especially in the 70s and the 80s.
01:56:25.000 Right.
01:56:25.000 All that say no to drugs era.
01:56:27.000 Here's a question that you'd probably know the answer to.
01:56:33.000 Killing untold numbers of rhinos for their horns because men want to grind them up and it's supposed to get your dick hard.
01:56:39.000 Does that work?
01:56:41.000 Not for me.
01:56:43.000 Did you try it?
01:56:45.000 I've been out there killing rhinos on a sneak pit forever.
01:56:48.000 Is there any science to that?
01:56:51.000 No.
01:56:52.000 Not that I'm aware of.
01:56:53.000 That is the craziest genocide ever.
01:56:55.000 And who's doing it?
01:56:57.000 It's not Africans who think it's going to make their dicks hard.
01:57:00.000 It's Chinese.
01:57:01.000 It's Asian people that apparently have...
01:57:05.000 What I was told is that it's not even necessarily just about the idea that it gets your dick hard, but there is value in the fact that it's a forbidden thing that's very difficult to acquire.
01:57:16.000 Right.
01:57:17.000 I think it's a signaling.
01:57:18.000 It's like a Rolex watch or a Lamborghini or whatever.
01:57:22.000 Look at me.
01:57:22.000 What my friend told me is that it's not just a signaling, but it's a signaling that you don't give a fuck.
01:57:26.000 Like, you're here to make money and get the best and have the best things.
01:57:31.000 And look, let's drink rhino tea.
01:57:33.000 And then we're going to eat shark's fin soup.
01:57:35.000 Ha ha ha ha ha!
01:57:36.000 And live monkey brain.
01:57:37.000 Yeah.
01:57:38.000 Have you seen that?
01:57:39.000 I've seen that.
01:57:40.000 That's real, huh?
01:57:40.000 That's pretty intense.
01:57:41.000 That's real.
01:57:42.000 I saw it in...
01:57:44.000 Faces of Death.
01:57:45.000 A bunch of people sitting around there whacking a monkey in the head with a hammer and his head stuck in this little thing.
01:57:50.000 In the table.
01:57:51.000 Yeah, I wasn't really sure if that was real.
01:57:52.000 And they scoop it out and eat it.
01:57:54.000 Yeah, rattlesnake.
01:57:56.000 The monkey brains though, isn't that like prions?
01:57:59.000 Can't you get prions from primate brains?
01:58:01.000 Yeah.
01:58:01.000 Like you could be deathly ill from that, right?
01:58:05.000 Yeah.
01:58:05.000 Like that's essentially what mad cow disease is.
01:58:08.000 Yeah.
01:58:09.000 Yeah.
01:58:10.000 From brains.
01:58:11.000 Yeah, forcing cows to eat cows.
01:58:13.000 That's where mad cow disease comes from.
01:58:15.000 Yeah.
01:58:15.000 Which is a buddy of mine that couldn't give blood because he was in England.
01:58:20.000 He lived in England during the time that the mad cow broke out.
01:58:22.000 I was in Spain then.
01:58:23.000 Yeah.
01:58:24.000 I can't give blood because of the hepatitis.
01:58:26.000 Which one do you get?
01:58:27.000 B or C? A. Is that a good one?
01:58:30.000 Yeah, that's the one, that's the easy one.
01:58:32.000 Oh, nice.
01:58:33.000 Yeah, it was like a month down, yellow eyes.
01:58:37.000 Yeah?
01:58:37.000 Yeah, like no energy.
01:58:40.000 A month?
01:58:41.000 That was, yeah, that's a long story.
01:58:44.000 But that, I actually got it from a guy who was sort of saving me from something else.
01:58:50.000 I never told you the whole scorpion in Guatemala story.
01:58:54.000 I think you did, but tell me again.
01:58:55.000 Well, it's a long story.
01:58:57.000 Yeah.
01:58:58.000 I mean...
01:58:58.000 If you don't now, though, people will feel like they're getting...
01:59:01.000 No, people can hear it.
01:59:03.000 I've told it on my podcast, and I've also...
01:59:05.000 I told it on a podcast called Risk, and that's actually...
01:59:07.000 Can you give us the cliff notes?
01:59:10.000 Yeah, but listen to the Risk thing, if anyone wants to hear the whole thing, because they added sound effects, and it's really good.
01:59:15.000 What is Risk?
01:59:16.000 It's a podcast.
01:59:18.000 Or it's a storytelling thing.
01:59:20.000 It's like the moth.
01:59:22.000 It's that kind of thing.
01:59:23.000 Oh, nice.
01:59:23.000 And they added sound effects.
01:59:24.000 Yeah, they produced it really well.
01:59:26.000 Yeah, it was well done.
01:59:28.000 Yeah, what happened was I was with my girlfriend at the time, Puerto Rican, super beautiful Puerto Rican girl.
01:59:34.000 Did she try to get you to go to a camp away and talk about Jesus or no?
01:59:37.000 She never tried to talk to me about Jesus, but I would have listened.
01:59:41.000 Because she was too interested in El Diablo.
01:59:43.000 She was great.
01:59:44.000 Yeah.
01:59:45.000 So I was with her in Guatemala, and we had met this other couple, Solange and Fabrizio.
01:59:56.000 And yeah, we were at this place called Tikal in northeast Guatemala, way, way back in the jungle.
02:00:05.000 And it's Mayan ruins.
02:00:07.000 Beautiful.
02:00:08.000 Crazy.
02:00:09.000 You know, it was like a big city.
02:00:12.000 When I was there, this was 1989, there were maybe 10 big ruins, big temples that they'd uncovered.
02:00:19.000 And we're staying in this campsite with hammocks.
02:00:22.000 It was very primitive at the time.
02:00:24.000 Anyway, it was a full moon, and Ana and I decided we were going to take some acid.
02:00:31.000 And watch the moon rise and the sunset up from the top of Temple 4. It's called the Jaguar Temple.
02:00:39.000 And so we went up with this other couple and there's this ledge up there and it's up above tree line.
02:00:45.000 You know, you're way above the tree line.
02:00:46.000 You can hear the monkeys and like see out over this flat jungle, the paten I think it's called.
02:00:54.000 And so we're up there and The sun's sinking and the moon is rising and the moon comes up.
02:01:02.000 It's beautiful and there's this big bank of storm clouds and the full moon is like between the horizon and the storm clouds, but then it starts to go up behind these clouds and you can see it's gonna get dark as fuck, right?
02:01:15.000 So this other couple are like, yeah, we're gonna go back to the campsite.
02:01:19.000 They didn't know we were tripping, right?
02:01:20.000 And we timed it so we were peaking like now, you know?
02:01:25.000 So they're going to go back to the campsite, but we were like, yeah, we're going to just hang here, right?
02:01:31.000 So I went over to hold the flashlight for them as they went down this ladder.
02:01:35.000 It was like maybe a 30-foot ladder, pipe ladder drilled into...
02:01:38.000 The temple's made out of limestone blocks.
02:01:41.000 And so to get up there...
02:01:42.000 Yeah, there you go.
02:01:43.000 Temple 4. Dude, that's steep.
02:01:47.000 Yeah.
02:01:48.000 You guys climbed up that?
02:01:49.000 Is that Temple 4, though?
02:01:53.000 The Jaguar Temple?
02:01:54.000 Yeah, that's right.
02:01:55.000 I typed in Temple for Jaguar.
02:01:56.000 Okay, cool.
02:01:57.000 Yeah.
02:01:58.000 Yeah, when I was there, it was much more overgrown.
02:02:02.000 Yeah.
02:02:02.000 Wow.
02:02:03.000 Anyway, so we went up to the top of it.
02:02:05.000 That looks like it there on the right.
02:02:07.000 Yeah, that looks like it from when we were there.
02:02:09.000 Anyway, so we're up on that ledge there.
02:02:12.000 That's crazy.
02:02:13.000 And see how flat the jungle is?
02:02:15.000 It just goes forever.
02:02:17.000 It's so crazy how it's almost like uniform in height.
02:02:21.000 Yeah.
02:02:22.000 I mean, it just varies a little bit, but...
02:02:24.000 Oh, look at that picture.
02:02:25.000 Yeah.
02:02:26.000 Yeah.
02:02:27.000 Oh, man.
02:02:28.000 It looks like a picture I took, actually, up there.
02:02:32.000 Anyway, so...
02:02:32.000 That's insane looking.
02:02:33.000 That's so beautiful.
02:02:34.000 So we're up there, and...
02:02:38.000 And I'm holding the ladder for these guys going down, and they're like, okay, we're good.
02:02:43.000 I'm like, okay.
02:02:43.000 I turn off the ladder, and I take a step, and, oh, fuck!
02:02:46.000 Ow!
02:02:47.000 What the fuck was that?
02:02:48.000 I turn the flashlight back on, and I see the scorpion going up the wall, scurrying up the wall.
02:02:52.000 Like, four inches, green.
02:02:55.000 And then there are, like, three other ones on the wall.
02:02:58.000 It's like, Fuck!
02:02:59.000 This thing's crawling with fucking scorpions!
02:03:01.000 And I just got stung on the toe.
02:03:03.000 While you're on acid.
02:03:04.000 While I'm tripping.
02:03:05.000 And thank God I didn't jump, because I would have dropped 30 feet to fucking rocks, you know?
02:03:09.000 Oh, my God.
02:03:10.000 So, I go back to Anna, and I was like, shit.
02:03:15.000 She said, what happened to you?
02:03:16.000 I said, I just fucking scorpion.
02:03:18.000 Like, watch out.
02:03:19.000 And like, oh, Jesus, right.
02:03:20.000 Oh, my God.
02:03:21.000 So, we're kind of like, oh, are they dangerous?
02:03:23.000 I don't know.
02:03:24.000 I don't know.
02:03:25.000 Are they?
02:03:25.000 I don't know.
02:03:26.000 So...
02:03:28.000 Now it's getting dark, right?
02:03:29.000 Because the moon's going behind these clouds.
02:03:32.000 And there's these two dudes way over on the other side of the ledge.
02:03:37.000 And we go over to them, and they're Italian, and they don't speak English, but Ana spoke Spanish, so she was talking to them in Spanish and Italian, and you sort of understand, you know?
02:03:49.000 They're both Latin, similar languages.
02:03:51.000 And those guys were like, yeah, I don't know.
02:03:53.000 And we were like, well, watch out, because they're all around.
02:03:55.000 Like, oh, shit, yeah.
02:03:56.000 So while we're talking to them, now it's totally dark.
02:03:59.000 This Guatemalan dude comes up the ladder with an old bolt-action rifle, and And he's like the night guard or something.
02:04:06.000 So we go over to him, and Ana says to him in Spanish, son peligrosos los escorpiones.
02:04:15.000 And are they dangerous, the scorpions?
02:04:17.000 And the guy says, si son letales, hay muertos.
02:04:20.000 They're lethal, there are deaths.
02:04:24.000 I'm like, oh, fuck, man, I understood enough Spanish to get that.
02:04:27.000 So you're thinking you're dying.
02:04:28.000 So I'm like, yeah, fuck, this is it.
02:04:32.000 April, full moon of April, 1989. Yeah, I was 27. That was right around the time when Trump's plane crashed.
02:04:39.000 What if it was exactly the same time?
02:04:40.000 I think...
02:04:41.000 Talk about being in different spaces in your life.
02:04:45.000 Yeah, I was at a table with that Puerto Rican girl while you were with that other Puerto Rican girl up there.
02:04:50.000 Puerto Rican girls crossed our paths.
02:04:52.000 Maybe.
02:04:52.000 We both survived.
02:04:54.000 Just barely.
02:04:55.000 So what happened to you?
02:04:57.000 So, I'm thinking like, fuck, I gotta get down from here.
02:05:01.000 Because there's no way anyone else could carry me down these ladders.
02:05:05.000 And you couldn't get a stretcher down, right?
02:05:07.000 So, if I'm gonna survive, I gotta get down on my own quickly.
02:05:11.000 So then if I collapse, they can get an ambulance.
02:05:14.000 Although we're like, you know, two days from Guatemala City and whatever the town was.
02:05:20.000 I don't even know if they had a clinic.
02:05:21.000 I don't know.
02:05:22.000 But we were pretty remote.
02:05:26.000 They're not going to send out a helicopter or some shit like that, right?
02:05:29.000 So I get down.
02:05:32.000 Oh, so what happens is my girlfriend's freaking out.
02:05:36.000 No criticism of her.
02:05:39.000 I think it's much harder to watch someone you love die than to die yourself in this case.
02:05:44.000 And so she's like, oh, fuck, you're dying.
02:05:47.000 And I'm thinking, yeah, maybe.
02:05:49.000 And so one of the Italian dudes is like, look, you guys go.
02:05:53.000 I'll stay with her and make sure she's all right.
02:05:56.000 And so I go down with this other Italian dude.
02:05:59.000 We go down the ladder and we get down to the floor and we start walking around the jungle and it's fucking dead.
02:06:04.000 It's totally dark now because the moon's totally obscured.
02:06:08.000 And the jungle, you know how when you're tripping, your pupils are super dilated so you can see light and stuff that normally you might miss?
02:06:15.000 The jungle in Guatemala is full of glowing worms and shit flying by that's all green and blue.
02:06:24.000 Really?
02:06:24.000 Glowing worms?
02:06:24.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:06:24.000 And they're like these caterpillars and like, holy shit, this place is wild.
02:06:28.000 So we're walking around, lost.
02:06:31.000 Totally dark.
02:06:32.000 Trippin.
02:06:33.000 I'm trippin.
02:06:34.000 He doesn't know I'm trippin.
02:06:35.000 How trippin are you?
02:06:37.000 Trippin.
02:06:40.000 That was three head nods, ladies and gentlemen.
02:06:43.000 I mean, you know, I'm peaking from the acid plus all the adrenaline.
02:06:48.000 And so this pain is running up my leg and it's like running up the bone in the center of the leg.
02:06:56.000 This kind of fire.
02:06:57.000 And when it gets to the top of muscles, they seize up.
02:07:01.000 So like, you know, from the knee down, it's just like rigid.
02:07:06.000 And then my tongue starts swelling and my throat starts swelling and I got this like Novocaine feeling in my lips.
02:07:13.000 And I'm sort of drooling and And I'm thinking, when this gets to my heart, that's when I die.
02:07:21.000 And so I'm with this guy, and we're lost.
02:07:25.000 And at first, I'm freaked.
02:07:28.000 I'm scared.
02:07:30.000 And then it occurs to me that I'm saying my last words to a guy whose face I've never seen, because we didn't shine the light in his face when we were talking to him.
02:07:45.000 And he doesn't understand English.
02:07:48.000 And that cracks me up.
02:07:50.000 I start laughing like a fucking maniac.
02:07:54.000 And he's got his arm around me.
02:07:56.000 He thinks I'm losing it.
02:07:57.000 And I'm just like, this is hilarious.
02:07:59.000 And I think about my friends and how they're going to be like, yeah, good on Chris.
02:08:06.000 He didn't die in some dumbass way like we all thought he would.
02:08:10.000 He died in this.
02:08:11.000 It's still a dumbass way, but at least it's interesting.
02:08:13.000 And then I start thinking, all right, I'm 27, but...
02:08:18.000 I've been around the world, literally around the planet.
02:08:22.000 I've been in love.
02:08:24.000 I've had sex with gorgeous women who loved me.
02:08:29.000 I made a shit ton of money.
02:08:33.000 I walked away from it.
02:08:36.000 I've done everything I wanted to do.
02:08:40.000 I'm 27, but I've done everything.
02:08:43.000 And I've had a fucking amazing life.
02:08:46.000 Wow.
02:08:47.000 And this is cool.
02:08:49.000 I would have been crying like a bitch.
02:08:51.000 I would have been like, not yet, I'm not done.
02:08:53.000 You know, I felt really bad for my parents and Anna.
02:08:57.000 But for myself, I was like, I've had a good fucking run.
02:09:02.000 It's not as long as I would have liked, but I've had a good fucking run.
02:09:05.000 So I really came to this peace.
02:09:10.000 And...
02:09:12.000 Like, the world doesn't owe me shit, man.
02:09:15.000 I mean, I'd been in Alaska two summers at that point.
02:09:19.000 I worked in New York in Manhattan for two years at that point with a guy who offered me a million dollars if I would stay, and I said no, and I left.
02:09:27.000 I flew to India.
02:09:29.000 I'd been in Asia for two years.
02:09:30.000 You said no to a million bucks?
02:09:32.000 When I was 26. Why did you say no to a million bucks?
02:09:35.000 What did he need to do to you?
02:09:39.000 No, he was a really good guy, actually.
02:09:41.000 I liked him a lot.
02:09:43.000 The million bucks was, he said, when you're 30, you'll have a net worth of a million dollars, and if you don't, I'll write you a check for whatever you're missing, and we'll notarize it.
02:09:55.000 And this guy's worth $30 million or something.
02:09:58.000 So he just wanted you to work for him?
02:09:59.000 He wanted me to stay, and I wanted to go.
02:10:01.000 I wanted to see the world, and This guy hired me to help him manage his family's property in Midtown Manhattan.
02:10:10.000 And the main reason he hired me is because I didn't give a shit about money.
02:10:14.000 So he knew I wouldn't steal from him.
02:10:16.000 Oh, that's interesting.
02:10:17.000 And then when it stopped being fun and new, I was like, I gotta go.
02:10:22.000 And he's like, no, no, stick around.
02:10:24.000 I'll make it worth your while.
02:10:25.000 And so there was this weird dynamic.
02:10:28.000 But anyway, I'd had all these experiences and so I was...
02:10:31.000 You were a piece.
02:10:32.000 I'm like, hey, I've had a good run.
02:10:33.000 So anyway, finally we come out into this little parking lot and there's this Guatemalan kid there, maybe 10 or something.
02:10:40.000 And the Italian guy talks to him and says, Scorpion, Scorpion.
02:10:43.000 And the kid looks at me like, oh my God, come, come.
02:10:45.000 And he takes us to this trailer.
02:10:48.000 And we bang on the door, and this horrible fluorescent light comes on, and this Guatemalan dude who obviously had been drunk and asleep is like, what?
02:11:00.000 And the kid says he's the doctor.
02:11:01.000 He's not a doctor.
02:11:02.000 He's some jungle dude, whatever.
02:11:04.000 And so the guy takes us in, and he's talking.
02:11:09.000 You know, it's sort of talking broken English.
02:11:11.000 And I explained to him, he says, how big is the scorpion?
02:11:14.000 He looks at my foot.
02:11:14.000 He says, how big was the scorpion?
02:11:16.000 I said, yeah, like, you know, this big, like a finger.
02:11:18.000 And what color?
02:11:19.000 Gray, green, sort of.
02:11:21.000 And he says, ah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:11:23.000 That's not a scorpion.
02:11:24.000 That's alacran.
02:11:26.000 So in Spanish, in that part of Guatemala, anyway, there are two different words.
02:11:31.000 A scorpion is a little red thing.
02:11:34.000 Alecran is a big green thing, but they're both with the tail and the, you know.
02:11:41.000 And so we had been using the word scorpion, because in English that's all there is, but scorpion, escorpion, in that part of Guatemala, is lethal.
02:11:51.000 And that's a little tiny thing.
02:11:52.000 That's a little red thing.
02:11:53.000 And that'll fucking take you out.
02:11:56.000 But the guy's like, look, this was two hours ago and you're still alive.
02:12:00.000 You'll be fine.
02:12:01.000 Apparently it's like if you have a bad heart or you're a kid, maybe this will kill you.
02:12:06.000 But if you survive a couple hours, you're going to be all right.
02:12:09.000 Speaking of something I read today, something about the Atkins guy.
02:12:14.000 This is an interesting story.
02:12:16.000 You know the Atkins diet?
02:12:18.000 It's very controversial because the Atkins diet is a lot of protein stuff.
02:12:23.000 I heard that the guy died of a heart attack and that they weren't being completely honest.
02:12:31.000 Apparently even Snopes says it's not clear.
02:12:36.000 The guy I feel like he was the head of like it's so weird when this happens the Atkins diet guy when he died he weighed 258 pounds so he was overweight and he was 72 years old and The story was he slipped on ice in front of his house and hit his head But he also had a history of heart disease.
02:12:56.000 I did not know that and he had had heart attacks and Is that why he got into the research that led to the diet?
02:13:03.000 I don't know.
02:13:04.000 I don't know.
02:13:05.000 I just read that today.
02:13:06.000 I'm like that there's some conspiracy.
02:13:08.000 It was a vegan guy who was talking about it.
02:13:10.000 There's a conspiracy about Atkins and that Atkins really died from a heart attack.
02:13:15.000 Which would ruin the brand.
02:13:16.000 Yeah.
02:13:17.000 Well, when that found out he was 258 pounds, I was like, wait, that's heavy.
02:13:22.000 How tall was he?
02:13:22.000 The report concludes that Dr. Atkins, 72, had a history of heart attack and congestive heart failure.
02:13:29.000 And notes that he weighed 258 pounds of death.
02:13:32.000 Yeah.
02:13:33.000 So he was really unhealthy.
02:13:35.000 It was really interesting.
02:13:37.000 Because that whole diet, the Atkins diet, like a lot of people were really criticizing that diet.
02:13:46.000 Yeah.
02:13:47.000 And saying that it's really terrible and that all the fat and all the stuff, all the protein you eat, you really shouldn't eat that much.
02:13:54.000 But it's very similar to what a lot of people are eating now.
02:13:57.000 When they're eating paleo and they're eating low carb.
02:14:00.000 Apparently the real problem, and I read this today, about high fat diets is if you're going to eat a high fat diet, it must be a low carb diet as well.
02:14:11.000 You cannot have high fat and carbs.
02:14:14.000 That is really bad for you because your body is going to use all the carbohydrates for fuel and all the fat that you eat is just going to be stored.
02:14:21.000 And apparently that combination, especially with saturated fats, is very bad.
02:14:26.000 So you want to be ketogenic or close to it?
02:14:28.000 Yeah, or you want to be close to it.
02:14:30.000 You know, you essentially want to eliminate most of the stuff that people love, like pizza and bread and pasta.
02:14:39.000 Eliminate almost all that stuff.
02:14:40.000 That's just all those unnatural foods.
02:14:42.000 But the point being that I'd never heard that.
02:14:45.000 I'd always heard that he had fallen.
02:14:47.000 And I'd assumed that anything other than that would be a conspiracy theory.
02:14:51.000 But then I read that and I was like, whoa.
02:14:54.000 You know who wrote it?
02:14:55.000 Now I remember.
02:14:55.000 John Joseph from the Cro-Mags.
02:14:57.000 You know that guy?
02:14:58.000 He's a vegan, super healthy, ultra-marathon triathlon dude now.
02:15:04.000 He used to be, well he still is, lead singer of the Cro-Mags.
02:15:08.000 I think they're still around.
02:15:09.000 I know he tours still.
02:15:10.000 Might be touring on his own now.
02:15:12.000 But he wrote that about Atkins today.
02:15:14.000 I was like, hmm...
02:15:16.000 Yeah.
02:15:18.000 Well, just to tie this together, the guy, after he explains this to me, he gives me a couple pills, probably aspirin or something, and he dips some water out of a bucket and says, take these pills, you'll be fine.
02:15:32.000 I've been traveling a long time.
02:15:33.000 I knew you don't drink water out of a bucket in the tropics, but this guy just told me I wasn't going to die, so I'll do whatever the fuck he says.
02:15:40.000 I drank the water and a week later I had hepatitis.
02:15:43.000 Wow!
02:15:44.000 That's how I got the hepatitis.
02:15:46.000 You got hepatitis from a bucket that this dude had laying around his dirty shed.
02:15:51.000 Exactly.
02:15:52.000 That's crazy.
02:15:53.000 Exactly.
02:15:53.000 And you narrowed it down to that particular moment that you got hepatitis.
02:15:56.000 Well, I assume.
02:15:58.000 I mean, that's a pretty high-risk move.
02:16:00.000 Pretty high-risk.
02:16:00.000 Yeah.
02:16:01.000 Yeah.
02:16:02.000 Fucking crazy people with their gut biome down there.
02:16:04.000 You know, it's like if you see...
02:16:09.000 Other animals drink out of a puddle.
02:16:10.000 Do you freak out?
02:16:11.000 No.
02:16:12.000 Yeah.
02:16:12.000 Like a dog drinks out of a puddle, you don't freak out.
02:16:14.000 Because the dog's got bodies going to handle that.
02:16:16.000 Well, that's what Jeff Leach was telling me about the Hadza.
02:16:18.000 They drink right out of mud puddles all the time.
02:16:21.000 It's like, you know, that's why he wanted their microbiome.
02:16:23.000 That's so crazy.
02:16:24.000 Yeah.
02:16:25.000 Yeah, we have a weak-ass, bitch-ass, preservative-laden microbiome.
02:16:29.000 Yeah, antibiotics.
02:16:31.000 Yep.
02:16:31.000 You can't avoid them in America.
02:16:33.000 It's hard to try to stay alive.
02:16:35.000 If you get really, really, really sick.
02:16:37.000 Oh, no, I'm not talking about medical.
02:16:38.000 I'm talking about in the food supply, in the water supply.
02:16:41.000 They're everywhere in America.
02:16:42.000 I don't know if that really affects us that much.
02:16:45.000 One of the things that I was...
02:16:46.000 I don't think there's levels of antibiotics in the water supply that's really affecting us.
02:16:52.000 It's possible that some of it is getting to us in the food supply.
02:16:55.000 But more so than not, I think the issue is poor dietary choices.
02:17:00.000 Because poor dietary choices are the number one factor in what affects your microbiome.
02:17:05.000 Low fiber.
02:17:06.000 Yeah, low fiber, just not eating healthy.
02:17:09.000 If you're eating a lot of sugar in particular, you got candida running around your gut and the unhealthy bacteria reacts better to that and just your body starts craving it.
02:17:20.000 That's one of the weirder things about when you do eat a low carb diet is your body really doesn't crave carbohydrates anymore.
02:17:26.000 It's a trick.
02:17:27.000 But when you're on carbohydrates, if you eat them a lot, man, your body's craving them all the time.
02:17:32.000 It's like you are being influenced by those organisms that are in your digestive tract, which is really freaky.
02:17:39.000 Yeah.
02:17:39.000 I mean, that's the whole sort of superorganism.
02:17:42.000 I think you and I have talked about that in the past, the idea that – toxoplasmosis, you know about that?
02:17:49.000 Sure, yeah.
02:17:49.000 Jesus, these things that get into the brain and determine behavior and from the gut as well can determine – I mean, not – even something as simple – you know, this is a simple example of like wanting – We're good to go.
02:18:23.000 Yeah, they get turned on by it.
02:18:25.000 It's crazy.
02:18:26.000 And that bacteria, or this toxoplasmosis, can only grow and it can only reproduce inside a cat's gut.
02:18:34.000 Right.
02:18:35.000 Which is fucking bananas.
02:18:36.000 Right.
02:18:36.000 Like, Sapolsky, we had Sapolsky, Robert Sapolsky.
02:18:40.000 Oh, he's great.
02:18:40.000 He's amazing.
02:18:41.000 And he went into depth about that.
02:18:43.000 And it's one of those things where you just stop and go, what?
02:18:46.000 He's a cool guy.
02:18:47.000 I remember mentioning him to you once on this podcast and Jamie brought up his photo and you looked at his photo and you said, there's a guy who does not give a fuck.
02:18:57.000 Yeah, if you look at him, his crazy fucking hair.
02:18:59.000 Yeah, it looks like he's homeless or something.
02:19:02.000 He's interested in the work, period.
02:19:05.000 Yeah, the work.
02:19:07.000 But he was gracious enough to give us an hour.
02:19:09.000 There he is right there.
02:19:10.000 Great.
02:19:10.000 Super nice guy, too.
02:19:12.000 But just, I mean, his work with baboons as well was covered in a Radiolab podcast.
02:19:18.000 It's a fascinating podcast where they observed this temporary baboon utopia.
02:19:24.000 Yeah, you and I talked about that, where the upper-ranking males ate the contaminated meat and died out.
02:19:30.000 Yeah, I love that story.
02:19:32.000 That's one of the only hopeful fucking stories out there.
02:19:36.000 Well, I feel like there's certain pockets of humanity.
02:19:39.000 I mean, I've never been to Burning Man, but I assume that that's sort of a representation of that as well.
02:19:43.000 Certain pockets of humanity where like-minded people get together and they say...
02:19:47.000 It doesn't have to be like this.
02:19:49.000 Just because we're all caught up in this crazy trap, and I think more of those little pockets of humanity are popping up day in, day out.
02:19:58.000 I think this podcast represents that in a lot of ways, too.
02:20:02.000 We're talking about the podcast being a cult of its own creation.
02:20:05.000 A community, I think.
02:20:07.000 It's more of a community.
02:20:09.000 Well, no one's asking you to do anything.
02:20:11.000 There's no rules, but it's an opportunity For like-minded discussion that's rarely present in cubicle life.
02:20:23.000 What do you think about, I mean, podcasting, in the intro to this podcast book we were talking about earlier, I said that I think that podcasting is on a par with the invention of the printing press in terms of the potential for radical social change.
02:20:42.000 Because there's no, like you said before, there's no filter.
02:20:46.000 There's nothing between you and your audience.
02:20:49.000 And that's a radical thing.
02:20:52.000 I mean, when the printing press came about, what that meant was...
02:20:58.000 You didn't need to have a team of scribes to copy out this thing that you've written, right?
02:21:04.000 So you can be just a regular guy and pay a thousand bucks or whatever the equivalent of that was in medieval Europe and have all these pamphlets printed.
02:21:12.000 So you could be Martin Luther and change the world if you have a good idea and it takes hold.
02:21:19.000 Podcasting seems similar to that in the sense that anybody who can afford a few mics and a laptop Can get their message out.
02:21:28.000 Yeah.
02:21:28.000 And if it catches fire, it catches fire.
02:21:30.000 And it goes around the world.
02:21:32.000 You could do it on a phone, too.
02:21:34.000 Like we're saying, you don't really need a whole lot of equipment.
02:21:37.000 Yeah.
02:21:37.000 A lot of people use one of those small MP3 mics, a Zoom.
02:21:40.000 We used that early on.
02:21:41.000 I still use a Zoom.
02:21:42.000 Those are great.
02:21:43.000 Yeah.
02:21:43.000 I think maybe.
02:21:45.000 I think you're probably on to something.
02:21:47.000 I think the internet in general and the ability for people to just create their own content, that's the real...
02:21:52.000 The gatekeepers to the masses have always been these production companies, content providers, networks, all these people, the hallowed halls, and those people all got fat on it in a weird way because the gatekeepers are the ones that hoarded all the money.
02:22:08.000 And they gave some of the money to the actors and some of the money to the writers, and everybody got wealthy.
02:22:13.000 Don't get me wrong.
02:22:14.000 But the Harvey Weinsteins of the world is the one that really got rich.
02:22:18.000 If you look at that guy, like, that guy's the guy that really got rich.
02:22:21.000 And of course...
02:22:21.000 You're really happy, too.
02:22:22.000 Oh, he's doing really well right now.
02:22:23.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:22:24.000 He's doing super well.
02:22:25.000 That's great.
02:22:26.000 He...
02:22:26.000 I mean, obviously, that guy's the worst example, right?
02:22:30.000 But he...
02:22:32.000 Obviously also, on a positive note, financed a lot of amazing movies, and if it wasn't for him, they wouldn't have gotten done.
02:22:39.000 But clearly, those people who do that, they're a different thing.
02:22:41.000 They're business people.
02:22:43.000 Now is the first time ever that there's a direct connection between a guy like you and a guy like whoever's listening to this right now.
02:22:52.000 That's never happened before.
02:22:53.000 I mean, the only one in the room, you know, we have Jamie helping out, and then it goes to the server, and then it's uploaded to the RSS feed, and then it goes to iTunes, and it goes to wherever the fuck you're getting your podcast from, and that's it.
02:23:08.000 There's no steps, there's no network, there's no notes, there's no production.
02:23:12.000 I mean, if you did your podcast, and your podcast was on some radio network somewhere, you'd have to go to meetings, weekly meetings with the studio, you'd have some fucking program director, some Dick, fuck, asshole, wants to tell you what not to talk about anymore.
02:23:26.000 Yeah, look, you're losing sponsors.
02:23:28.000 I don't even have advertisers.
02:23:31.000 Good for you.
02:23:31.000 Yeah, I do it.
02:23:32.000 I had them for a while, and I just got tired of listening to myself talking about underwear and shit.
02:23:38.000 So just do it for fun now.
02:23:40.000 No, it's supported through Patreon.
02:23:41.000 That's great, too.
02:23:42.000 People send me money.
02:23:44.000 This is what I think, ultimately.
02:23:45.000 I think, ultimately, people will...
02:23:48.000 Someone's going to develop some sort of an app thing where you can have basically everything you put out.
02:23:56.000 Your podcasts, blogs, all that.
02:23:58.000 It would all be like a channel.
02:24:01.000 You could even call it channel.
02:24:02.000 And that would be like a new social media platform that you could do everything from.
02:24:07.000 You know, and people can either sign up for it and pay for it or not.
02:24:13.000 You know, that's how Sam Harris has it.
02:24:15.000 You can either pay for his podcast or not.
02:24:17.000 That's how you have it too, right?
02:24:19.000 Yeah, although you get it for free.
02:24:20.000 Yeah, you get it for free.
02:24:21.000 So if you want to support...
02:24:22.000 If you want to support it, you can.
02:24:23.000 You pay.
02:24:24.000 And I do some bonus stuff for Patreon only.
02:24:28.000 Yeah, Sam does too.
02:24:29.000 But it could be a buck a month, you know.
02:24:30.000 Yeah, why not?
02:24:31.000 And I think the future's probably going to be something like that.
02:24:36.000 That's the present, as you said.
02:24:38.000 I mean, Sam's doing it.
02:24:39.000 Duncan's got a Patreon thing.
02:24:41.000 I do.
02:24:42.000 You've got to get a Patreon, Joe.
02:24:43.000 No, I make...
02:24:44.000 Make some money.
02:24:44.000 I make plenty of money with ads.
02:24:47.000 I don't...
02:24:48.000 I'm trying to think of, like, what...
02:24:50.000 It's almost like, give the option, if you pay, you get no ads, or free.
02:24:55.000 A lot of people do that.
02:24:56.000 That's a good one.
02:24:57.000 Like, Dan Savage does that.
02:24:58.000 He has the...
02:24:59.000 I forget what it's called, but yeah, there's the ad-free version and the sponsored version.
02:25:03.000 That's probably a good move.
02:25:04.000 That makes sense.
02:25:05.000 Because that way, if you don't want to pay for it, you don't have to.
02:25:07.000 But the point being that you can reach a whole lot of people.
02:25:12.000 Forget about paying.
02:25:13.000 You can reach a whole lot of people and get ideas to a whole lot of people that you could just never reach before.
02:25:17.000 No one would let you.
02:25:18.000 Why would anybody invest in you?
02:25:20.000 Why would anybody put that time in?
02:25:21.000 And then you're going to keep all of it?
02:25:23.000 What?
02:25:23.000 No way.
02:25:25.000 Well, think about publishing now, right?
02:25:26.000 I write a book.
02:25:27.000 That book comes out.
02:25:28.000 Somebody buys a copy of Sex at Dawn right now in paperback.
02:25:32.000 I get 8.25% of the price.
02:25:37.000 That's hilarious.
02:25:38.000 Minus 15% of that that goes to my agent and then taxes.
02:25:42.000 That's hilarious.
02:25:43.000 Right?
02:25:44.000 I mean a pimp lets a hooker keep 50% of the money.
02:25:49.000 A stingy pimp.
02:25:50.000 What is a gay lady like J.K. Rowling's when she's ballin' on top of the world?
02:25:54.000 What kind of deal does she get?
02:25:56.000 Well, it depends what she signed, you know?
02:25:58.000 But, I mean, she's already, like Stephen King, people like her, they can cut a totally different deal.
02:26:04.000 But the standard contract is what I had, which is, you know, 8% on hard copy, it's 8% for 5,000 copies, then 10%, 5,000, then 12% after that in hard copy.
02:26:17.000 And then paperback is 8.25% forever.
02:26:20.000 How many books have you sold?
02:26:22.000 In America, maybe 400,000, 450,000, something like that.
02:26:28.000 That's a lot of books.
02:26:29.000 Not really.
02:26:30.000 Not really.
02:26:31.000 I mean, it's in like 20 languages.
02:26:33.000 That's what's cool.
02:26:33.000 It's worldwide.
02:26:35.000 Filled with 400,000 people.
02:26:36.000 It's a lot of books if you look at it that way.
02:26:38.000 That's how you have to look at it because that's what it really is.
02:26:41.000 But in terms of money, it's not that much money, especially if you stretch it out over the years it took to write it and all the promotion and all that.
02:26:51.000 It's not a way to make a lot of money, writing books.
02:26:53.000 It used to be.
02:26:54.000 If you had a New York Times bestseller back in the day, you made a lot of money.
02:26:58.000 But the reading audience is much smaller now than it was 20, 30 years ago.
02:27:03.000 What about books on cassette or audio?
02:27:05.000 That's a different deal.
02:27:08.000 You sign a deal generally with Audible.
02:27:10.000 They sort of own that market, which is an Amazon company, right?
02:27:16.000 And yeah, you get, I forget what the percentage is, but it's probably 18 to 20, something like that.
02:27:23.000 And also e-books, you get a slightly better deal.
02:27:27.000 I think you get 17.5% of the price of an e-book.
02:27:30.000 Which is funny, though, because it's not costing the publisher anything additional to have an e-book, right?
02:27:36.000 It's already edited.
02:27:38.000 It's already done.
02:27:41.000 And there's no distribution costs.
02:27:42.000 So you get 17.5% as a writer.
02:27:45.000 They get the rest.
02:27:47.000 That's so crazy.
02:27:48.000 There's no trucks.
02:27:48.000 There's no shelf.
02:27:49.000 There's no store.
02:27:50.000 There's no reason for them to be getting all that money.
02:27:52.000 No.
02:27:52.000 That's so crazy.
02:27:53.000 It's all gravy for them.
02:27:54.000 Yeah, and it's not like they're recouping costs.
02:27:57.000 And it used to be, like back in Hemingway or whatever, back in the day...
02:28:02.000 A publisher would support an author through three, four, five books thinking eventually something's going to hit.
02:28:09.000 This guy's got talent eventually.
02:28:11.000 And so it was an investment.
02:28:13.000 Now they expect you to have your own platform, your own access to media.
02:28:17.000 Sometimes they're asking authors to hire their own editors, their own publicists, right?
02:28:22.000 Really?
02:28:23.000 Yeah.
02:28:24.000 But...
02:28:24.000 They still get all the money.
02:28:25.000 They still get the same contract.
02:28:27.000 The ratios are the same.
02:28:28.000 So it's like, yeah, that's why I say it's like a Napster kind of thing.
02:28:31.000 Yeah.
02:28:32.000 It's at the point now where it's like, wait a minute, if I got a platform, I got access to media, I'm hiring my own editor, why am I giving you creative control and 92% of the fucking revenue?
02:28:45.000 It's a strange business.
02:28:47.000 That is a strange business.
02:28:49.000 Essentially what they have is credibility.
02:28:52.000 So if you self-publish or publish with some independent publisher, the New York Times isn't going to review it.
02:28:59.000 They won't?
02:29:00.000 No.
02:29:00.000 Wow.
02:29:01.000 Because it's a very insular world.
02:29:04.000 That's crazy.
02:29:05.000 If it's a book that takes off, then a publisher will come in and buy it.
02:29:09.000 So like Fifty Shades of Grey, that was self-published.
02:29:12.000 I wonder why.
02:29:13.000 Yeah, but look what happened.
02:29:16.000 Yeah, they tapped into a market a chick that likes to get spit on.
02:29:20.000 Right?
02:29:20.000 There are a lot of them.
02:29:21.000 There's a lot of them.
02:29:22.000 I don't know about spit on.
02:29:23.000 Oh yeah.
02:29:23.000 But certainly.
02:29:24.000 Choked.
02:29:25.000 Yeah.
02:29:25.000 Smacked around.
02:29:26.000 By a billionaire.
02:29:27.000 Yeah.
02:29:27.000 Good looking.
02:29:28.000 Good looking guy with a heart of gold.
02:29:30.000 Heart of gold.
02:29:30.000 But he likes to spit in your mouth.
02:29:32.000 Yeah.
02:29:32.000 And then she, and then ultimately he'll see the light and he'll be tamed.
02:29:38.000 Of course.
02:29:38.000 That's the fantasy.
02:29:40.000 Yeah.
02:29:40.000 That's the fairy tale.
02:29:42.000 That's what everybody wants.
02:29:44.000 See, that's why I was saying earlier, I've got this idea.
02:29:48.000 I was talking to Duncan about this the other night.
02:29:49.000 I've got this idea to write an erotic memoir.
02:29:52.000 But that'll sort of be like my last book.
02:29:55.000 Because at that point, I'll have burned all the bridges.
02:29:59.000 You'll be the only person who would ever interview me after that.
02:30:03.000 I think I was planning for it to come out around my 60th birthday.
02:30:06.000 And it'll be called An Old Manifesto.
02:30:12.000 It's just, if you change the names of people...
02:30:14.000 Oh, no.
02:30:15.000 I'm not worried about the people.
02:30:16.000 I'm not going to hurt anyone in the book.
02:30:18.000 I'm sure.
02:30:18.000 It's more just about, you know...
02:30:19.000 How many people you fucked and people find out the truth?
02:30:21.000 Yeah.
02:30:22.000 Dun, dun, dun.
02:30:22.000 Dun, dun, dun.
02:30:23.000 Dude, you're going to become legendary.
02:30:25.000 Listen, the people who love you, though, they love you already.
02:30:27.000 But it's not a book about how much I got laid.
02:30:29.000 It's not a book about how cool I am.
02:30:31.000 It's a book about the amazing things I've learned...
02:30:36.000 In sexual situations, and that the world is so different from what people think.
02:30:44.000 How so?
02:30:47.000 There's just so many things going on that mainstream people can't imagine.
02:30:53.000 Like, I mean, I was in college the first time a man told me he would be happy for me to have sex with his wife.
02:31:04.000 And it wasn't a kinky weird thing.
02:31:06.000 It was like, I'm not doing it.
02:31:08.000 She's wonderful.
02:31:09.000 I noticed that you guys like each other.
02:31:11.000 I just want you to know it's cool with me.
02:31:15.000 That's the first time.
02:31:17.000 Since then, there have probably been, I don't know, half a dozen or something.
02:31:22.000 Mothers are like, would you please have sex with my daughter?
02:31:27.000 She's a good one.
02:31:31.000 Generally, it's because she didn't like the boyfriend.
02:31:35.000 Always.
02:31:35.000 Yeah.
02:31:36.000 So it's like, will you show my daughter there's a world out there that she doesn't know about?
02:31:40.000 Yeah, there's always that.
02:31:41.000 But then they recruit you, and you've got to take on the project.
02:31:45.000 Well, you know, should you choose to accept it?
02:31:48.000 Should you choose to accept it, they expect you to stick around as well.
02:31:51.000 Not necessarily.
02:31:52.000 Not necessarily, you know?
02:31:53.000 Yeah.
02:31:54.000 So just stuff that people think like, you know, oh my god, if you have sex with someone's wife and he knows he's going to kill you.
02:32:01.000 Well, maybe not.
02:32:01.000 Maybe he'll take you out for a beer afterwards and you'll be friends.
02:32:04.000 This is the subject of Ari Shafir's podcast this week with Aubrey Marcus and they're talking about open relationships and they get super honest.
02:32:14.000 It's very intense.
02:32:15.000 I think that we live in cultural patterns.
02:32:19.000 And that what we see around us, we replicate.
02:32:22.000 I think there's a lot of evidence for that.
02:32:24.000 If you just pay attention, forget about studies, just look at how different people are in other parts of the world.
02:32:29.000 People that are putting plates in their lips and rings through their noses.
02:32:32.000 The way people tattoo themselves, the way people express themselves in dance.
02:32:37.000 Like, human beings vary so wildly in what we accept and what we don't accept.
02:32:43.000 I was going to bring up Japan earlier.
02:32:44.000 It's one of the more fascinating travel experiences I've had was going to Japan because when you go to Tokyo, you realize this is a completely different way of living.
02:32:55.000 They have a completely different way of interacting on the streets.
02:32:58.000 They have a completely different way that they have decorated their buildings.
02:33:02.000 I have tattoos.
02:33:04.000 They told me I had to wear long sleeves at the gym.
02:33:06.000 I had to go back and change my shirt.
02:33:08.000 They don't accept exposed tattoos.
02:33:11.000 Because it's associated with organizing.
02:33:11.000 Yes, so I had to go back and just there's a lot of that like where you realize like this is a totally different way of living but if I live there I would live like these people.
02:33:22.000 So the momentum of these patterns in these cultures gets established and then it takes something radical to lift them and to free people from these patterns and once they're free from these patterns then they have a real opportunity to objectively assess the way they behave and And whether or not this is the way they want to behave or the way they want to live or whether or not you just expect it to because of this unthinking culture,
02:33:47.000 this momentum.
02:33:48.000 I think that's what podcasts are doing.
02:33:50.000 The big thing With podcasts is that it's creating more narratives and it's creating more discussions about interesting subjects and more questions and discussions about why we live our life a certain way.
02:34:07.000 And if you live a regular life with regular people, what are the odds that you get a chance to sit down with a guy like you for three hours?
02:34:15.000 Or a guy like Graham Hancock?
02:34:16.000 Or a guy like, you know, fill in the blank.
02:34:18.000 All the fascinating people that you or I have talked to in our podcasts.
02:34:23.000 And then these conversations get right into someone's head while they have their earbuds on, while they're at work, typing some nonsense bullshit into some fucking form that they have to fill out because that's what they do for a living.
02:34:35.000 That's what's different.
02:34:36.000 And that's never happened before.
02:34:38.000 No generation before the podcast generation had that option.
02:34:42.000 You had Howard Stern, you had, and it was always funny, you had, you know, Art Bell was always weird, and then you had, like, all the right-wing wacko dudes on AM talk radio, the Michael Savages, and, you know, the fucking Rush Limbaugh's, and you had all those people,
02:34:59.000 but you didn't have- Yeah, you didn't have a guy who just talks about whatever he wants to talk about.
02:35:04.000 You had to be like, well, Chris, before we give you this radio broadcast show, what kind of a show are you going to do?
02:35:09.000 Are you going to do a left-wing show?
02:35:11.000 Are you going to do a show on cooking?
02:35:12.000 What are you going to do?
02:35:13.000 Like, no, I'm going to talk about sex and tribes and about how I think monogamy is just a cultural construct and really the way we evolved.
02:35:21.000 Like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, you fucking hippie!
02:35:24.000 Get out of my office!
02:35:26.000 There's no money in that!
02:35:28.000 Like before, if you came to someone and said, hey, I'm going to write this book and it's going to sell about 400,000 copies and it's basically saying monogamy is bullshit, what do you think?
02:35:38.000 They'd be like, what?
02:35:39.000 Get the fuck out of here.
02:35:40.000 No one's going to buy that.
02:35:41.000 Everybody wants to be monogamous and have a picket fence and live in the same row of houses where everybody looks the same.
02:35:48.000 Everybody's got this, oh, you have an in-ground pool, you lucky bastard.
02:35:52.000 But what podcasts have done Is expose why we accept things as fact and why we just choose.
02:36:02.000 It's because everybody around us does it.
02:36:05.000 We are such a massive product of our environment.
02:36:08.000 You know, and I think...
02:36:10.000 When we were talking earlier about race, and about race being a determining factor for IQ, like, you don't really ever know.
02:36:19.000 You might know from studies, but you don't know until those people who have the high IQ have to live the lives of the people that have the low IQ. And they have to have the same environment that they grow up in, the same fears, and the same influences, negative and positive.
02:36:35.000 Then you'll know.
02:36:36.000 And even then you won't know.
02:36:37.000 Because there's so many determining factors.
02:36:39.000 Like, you know, I know people that are just way fucking smarter than me.
02:36:44.000 They're just smarter.
02:36:45.000 I just know they are.
02:36:46.000 They're just smarter.
02:36:47.000 What is that?
02:36:48.000 I don't know.
02:36:49.000 Is it the amount of studying they've done?
02:36:51.000 Is it the amount of knowledge?
02:36:54.000 Is it the path that they're on is different than my path?
02:36:57.000 Or is it just their fucking brain works better?
02:36:59.000 But also, what do we mean by smarter?
02:37:01.000 Right.
02:37:01.000 You know?
02:37:02.000 I mean, I look at someone like you.
02:37:04.000 Your discipline is a major factor in your success.
02:37:09.000 So is that part of being smart?
02:37:11.000 It's smart enough to understand that discipline is a worthwhile pursuit.
02:37:14.000 That's what it is.
02:37:15.000 So what about someone who has a really high IQ that's sitting in a basement eating lots of ice cream and not doing what they want to do?
02:37:22.000 That's not smart decision making, for sure.
02:37:24.000 But it's very high IQ. Right.
02:37:26.000 So what do we mean?
02:37:27.000 Or a hunter-gatherer, these people in the Amazon we're talking about who can identify 500 different kinds of plants at a glance and, you know, know the behavior of animals and all this stuff.
02:37:39.000 But you give them an IQ test and they're like under 100 for sure.
02:37:42.000 Well, I've had conversations with people that are brilliant, super brilliant people, and scientists, and they'll try to explain to me mixed martial arts in some fucked up cockamamie way and I have to stop them.
02:37:53.000 I'm like, stop.
02:37:54.000 Okay, right now, you sound like a fucking moron.
02:37:58.000 Professor.
02:37:59.000 But you're talking about something that I have a PhD in.
02:38:02.000 I have a PhD in people fucking people up.
02:38:05.000 I understand it as good as anybody that's ever lived.
02:38:07.000 So if you start talking nonsense about how to fuck people up, oh, your kung fu instructor said that.
02:38:12.000 Oh, great.
02:38:13.000 Well, you know Aikido.
02:38:15.000 You silly fuck.
02:38:17.000 I like Aikido, but I recognize that there's a lot of bullshit there.
02:38:20.000 It's a fun thing to practice.
02:38:21.000 I mean, it's fun to be able to flip people around like that.
02:38:23.000 And it would be a great thing to know if you lived in feudal Japan and you lost your sword and someone was coming at you and you had one chance at glory.
02:38:32.000 What I love about Aikido is how it translates into psychological and emotional stuff.
02:38:37.000 So what we were saying earlier about how I don't engage with people who are emotionally triggered by sex at dawn.
02:38:43.000 To me, that's Aikido.
02:38:45.000 I learned that kind of thing from Aikido.
02:38:47.000 First of all, you don't need to engage.
02:38:49.000 Secondly, if you do engage, what's important is that you stay calm and centered.
02:38:54.000 And most of the time, people burn themselves out.
02:38:57.000 You don't even really need to.
02:38:58.000 As long as you step out of the way, let people have what they need to have.
02:39:02.000 Yeah, for sure.
02:39:03.000 Yeah.
02:39:04.000 But yeah, as far as a fighting technique, it's not what you're going to pull up in the street.
02:39:08.000 No, it's not.
02:39:08.000 But it's just my point is that people who are brilliant and are geniuses in one aspect of life simply don't have enough time to accumulate the same amount of data about everything.
02:39:18.000 They just don't.
02:39:19.000 Whether it's about...
02:39:22.000 Fill in the blank.
02:39:23.000 Clock making.
02:39:24.000 Whatever the fuck it is.
02:39:25.000 There's things that people know that you don't know.
02:39:28.000 And it doesn't make you stupid.
02:39:29.000 It's just information.
02:39:30.000 The difference is between how you apply that information.
02:39:33.000 If you're a really smart person and you don't do shit with it, you're a moron.
02:39:37.000 You might be a really genius person, but if your life is falling apart and it's all because of your shitty decisions and you've never tried to improve upon your thought process and you just blame the whole world instead of yourself, you're a moron.
02:39:48.000 Even if you're really good at taking IQ tests.
02:39:51.000 You're still a moron.
02:39:52.000 That's it.
02:39:53.000 Personally, I don't think that I'm particularly intelligent.
02:39:58.000 I think that what I can do that a lot of people don't do is...
02:40:03.000 Think outside the box and connect dots that other people aren't connecting, which is precisely because I didn't go to the right schools and I didn't, you know, in my 20s, I went and fucked around the world for 20 years.
02:40:17.000 Also, you don't have, like, tenure that you're working for or anything weird that's going to keep you in line.
02:40:22.000 I can just fuck around and figure it out.
02:40:25.000 There's a lot of people that get stuck in that.
02:40:27.000 Even intellectuals, they get stuck in that trap of having to toe the line You know, in terms of like, I mean, good luck trying to find a conservative professor, right?
02:40:37.000 I mean, what is like 4% identify as conservatives in mainstream universities and colleges?
02:40:44.000 Some really ridiculously low number.
02:40:46.000 Might be 10%, whatever it is.
02:40:47.000 But it's like the vast minority.
02:40:50.000 Yeah.
02:40:50.000 You know, if you get one out of ten, you're super lucky.
02:40:53.000 I think that's probably not really what it is.
02:40:55.000 Although, again, what do we mean by conservative?
02:40:57.000 Right.
02:40:58.000 It's so confusing because the older I get, the more I realize that the language...
02:41:03.000 It's like one of those Venn diagrams where there's language and there's reality and there's some overlap, but there's a lot that doesn't correspond.
02:41:11.000 Right.
02:41:12.000 You know, I get into this a lot when people are talking about homosexuality and whether it's, you know...
02:41:31.000 Yeah.
02:41:31.000 Yeah.
02:41:31.000 Yeah.
02:41:42.000 And yet we look at that and say, oh, well, that's gay, but they don't see it as gay.
02:41:47.000 So again, as you were saying, we replicate the behavior we see around us.
02:41:51.000 Do they have adult homosexuality or do they only have sex with kids?
02:41:57.000 I think it's only, at least the only kind that's been reported by anthropologists, because again, there's a filtering there, is younger boys with older boys.
02:42:09.000 So it's the younger boys are given blowjobs to the older boys because that's the way to get stronger and more masculine.
02:42:17.000 Well, what a scam somebody pulled off of that place.
02:42:20.000 One dude probably a long time ago was like, listen to me!
02:42:25.000 We've got a new way of doing things around here.
02:42:29.000 Starting with my dick.
02:42:32.000 He pulls the grass skirt aside.
02:42:34.000 Oh shit, here we go.
02:42:36.000 Do you want to get strong?
02:42:38.000 Or not?
02:42:39.000 Yeah.
02:42:41.000 Beating drums, sucking dicks.
02:42:43.000 Boom, boom, [...
02:42:46.000 There you go.
02:42:47.000 It's pretty crazy, though, again, like what we were saying earlier, that you can have these pockets of culture that they're radically different than other places, but the people just adapt and conform to what's around them.
02:42:59.000 And I think that's the case with human beings everywhere.
02:43:02.000 I don't think it's just the people that live in New Guinea, and it's not just the people that live in the Congo or live in Woodland Hills.
02:43:07.000 It's people that live everywhere.
02:43:09.000 It's just how human beings behave.
02:43:11.000 And it's also interesting to look at how the culture reflects the environment, right?
02:43:16.000 And Marvin Harris wrote about this, cultural materialism, how a culture responds to an environment sort of like how, you know, cacti live in the desert.
02:43:25.000 There's a reason for that.
02:43:26.000 You put a cactus in the jungle, it dies immediately, right?
02:43:29.000 It's adapted to an environment.
02:43:31.000 So you've got desert cultures, right?
02:43:33.000 You've got jungle cultures.
02:43:35.000 So the culture actually...
02:43:37.000 Grows in a way that fits that ecological environment.
02:43:41.000 He was the first, I think he's the first person to figure this out, certainly the first time I read it.
02:43:46.000 Like, some islands, some cultures are cannibalistic and others aren't, right?
02:43:51.000 Why is that?
02:43:52.000 Like, I'd never thought about it.
02:43:53.000 Like, why would the Aztecs eat their victims, but the Christians didn't, but the Christians killed a lot more.
02:44:01.000 They just left them to rot on the field.
02:44:03.000 Why is that?
02:44:04.000 Is it the Aztecs are particularly evil or something?
02:44:06.000 I don't know.
02:44:08.000 He applied this prism to it and showed that also in the South Pacific, there were some islands that the people were cannibalistic and other islands where they weren't.
02:44:17.000 And so he looks at all these and what he figured out was that in the places where people are cannibalistic, there are no domesticated animals that eat different food than humans.
02:44:30.000 So, for example, you can't raise dogs for meat because dogs eat what we eat.
02:44:35.000 So it doesn't make sense.
02:44:36.000 But you can raise goats for meat, because goats eat shit humans don't eat.
02:44:40.000 So in the places that are cannibalistic, there was nothing they could domesticate for protein.
02:44:47.000 So when you killed a human, you ate him because you're protein-starved.
02:44:53.000 Isn't that crazy?
02:44:55.000 So it's an ecological thing.
02:44:57.000 The Aztecs had no pigs, right?
02:45:00.000 There was nothing they could domesticate.
02:45:02.000 No cattle.
02:45:03.000 They had turkeys, I think, was the only domesticated animal.
02:45:06.000 So when they had meat from a person they killed, they were so psyched just to have meat.
02:45:08.000 They're not just going to let it go.
02:45:10.000 Wow.
02:45:11.000 Did I ever tell you that's the case with bears?
02:45:14.000 That bears are all cannibals?
02:45:16.000 Yeah, all cannibals.
02:45:18.000 It's really dark.
02:45:19.000 My friend Jonathan saw a boar, a male bear, kill a cub, and then saw the female eat it.
02:45:26.000 Oh, the female ate it?
02:45:27.000 Yeah, the female chased the male away.
02:45:30.000 And after he'd killed it, he was trying to eat it and she chased him away and then she ate it.
02:45:34.000 She ate her own cub.
02:45:35.000 And he said he had heard that they did that before, but watching that in person.
02:45:41.000 But they're all cannibals.
02:45:42.000 Well, lots of mammal mothers will eat.
02:45:45.000 They're young.
02:45:46.000 But these guys come out of the den looking for cubs.
02:45:50.000 The crazy thing about spring bears.
02:45:52.000 Yeah, they do it for two reasons.
02:45:54.000 They know now that it's not just to try to force the female into estrus again.
02:45:59.000 They used to think it was just that.
02:46:01.000 But now if you shoot a bear, other bears will claim it as theirs and start eating it.
02:46:06.000 And you have to chase them off.
02:46:08.000 The world of a bear is so fucking hardscrabble and so...
02:46:15.000 Fraught with peril.
02:46:16.000 And they have to...
02:46:18.000 You know, you're talking about a 500-pound bear.
02:46:20.000 How much do you have to eat every day?
02:46:21.000 Yeah.
02:46:21.000 What do you have to eat?
02:46:22.000 Like 30 pounds of meat or something crazy?
02:46:24.000 And they're eating like moths and shit.
02:46:25.000 Everything.
02:46:25.000 Yeah.
02:46:26.000 They're machines.
02:46:27.000 What they are is they clean the forest up of babies that can't get away.
02:46:32.000 And there's no overpopulating when there's bears around.
02:46:36.000 Dumbass hikers.
02:46:36.000 Yeah.
02:46:37.000 Well, they all...
02:46:37.000 That's so rare.
02:46:39.000 It's so rare.
02:46:40.000 And it's more black bears than it is brown bears.
02:46:42.000 When brown bears kill people, it's usually because someone fucked up and came across a female with her babies.
02:46:48.000 And the female doesn't want to take any chances.
02:46:50.000 She fucks you up.
02:46:51.000 But when a black bear eats you, it's more likely for predation.
02:46:54.000 Also, a black bear will chase you up a tree.
02:46:57.000 And a grizzly won't climb a tree.
02:46:59.000 Right, that's true.
02:47:00.000 And a lot of times when the black bears are near people, the reason is because people have encroached on their areas and then they started getting into eating garbage.
02:47:08.000 Right.
02:47:08.000 And they start getting into eating garbage, they become a real problem because they're smart.
02:47:12.000 And they realize, like, why don't I fucking chase after some deer when I can eat this dude's trash?
02:47:16.000 And then how about I just eat this dude?
02:47:17.000 They don't think about the problems with that.
02:47:20.000 Like, this is going to bring heat on the Klan.
02:47:22.000 No, they just fuck that person up.
02:47:24.000 I spent a lot of time thinking about bears in Alaska.
02:47:27.000 You should.
02:47:28.000 Yeah, I was working the first year.
02:47:30.000 It's so stupid.
02:47:31.000 I worked in this cannery in Kenai for like six weeks or something.
02:47:36.000 Salmon cannery?
02:47:36.000 Salmon cannery, yeah.
02:47:37.000 And I was 16 hours a day, seven days a week, just like full on fucking busting it out because the fish are coming in and they got the lines running, you know.
02:47:47.000 And at night, I would go back and sleep in my tent on this bluff where we were all camped out and So like, you know, after six weeks, everything smelled like salmon.
02:47:58.000 Everything.
02:47:59.000 My skin, my teeth, my hair, my butt, everything.
02:48:03.000 And so after we left, I was with these two other dudes, and we were like, let's go to McKinley and hike for a while.
02:48:09.000 And we hitchhiked up.
02:48:12.000 Oh no, I see this coming.
02:48:14.000 This is terrible.
02:48:15.000 We hitchhiked up to Denali and we were walking back this dirt road and this ranger came along in his truck and he stopped and he was this cool guy.
02:48:25.000 He's like, hey, you guys been working?
02:48:27.000 I'm like, yeah, man.
02:48:28.000 He's like, yeah.
02:48:29.000 Where, you been working at Canada?
02:48:30.000 Yeah.
02:48:31.000 Hmm.
02:48:31.000 And you're going to go hiking now?
02:48:33.000 Like, yeah, yeah.
02:48:33.000 He said, do you realize that every bear within 20 miles of here can smell you guys?
02:48:39.000 And you smell like food?
02:48:41.000 I'm like, oh, yeah.
02:48:42.000 I hadn't thought about that.
02:48:44.000 Like, get in the truck.
02:48:45.000 Get the fuck out of here.
02:48:46.000 Thank God.
02:48:46.000 That guy probably saved your life more than the guy who saved you from the scorpion and gave you hepatitis.
02:48:51.000 That was the real savior.
02:48:52.000 That guy fucked me up, man.
02:48:54.000 He did, but the other guy really saved you.
02:48:56.000 Yeah.
02:48:56.000 Dude, bears and fish, man.
02:48:58.000 That's a crazy combination.
02:49:00.000 So the big bears of...
02:49:02.000 Kodiak.
02:49:03.000 Kodiak.
02:49:03.000 I was out there.
02:49:04.000 That's the whole deal, is that they're just eating fish and even beach whales.
02:49:07.000 Yeah.
02:49:07.000 They eat whales.
02:49:08.000 They eat everything.
02:49:09.000 Yeah.
02:49:09.000 That's a bananas place to be, man, when you're looking at 12-foot bears.
02:49:13.000 I worked on a boat.
02:49:14.000 The second year, I worked on a boat that was based out of Kodiak.
02:49:17.000 Really?
02:49:18.000 Yeah.
02:49:18.000 Did you get to see a lot of them?
02:49:19.000 Yeah.
02:49:20.000 Wandering around?
02:49:20.000 Oh, man.
02:49:21.000 I saw the bears.
02:49:21.000 I saw orcas.
02:49:22.000 I saw all sorts of shit.
02:49:24.000 We were out in Prince William Sound.
02:49:26.000 Orcas are the animal that I always point to that if they didn't exist and there was a legend of them, it would be way more fascinating than Bigfoot.
02:49:34.000 If somebody told you that there's some mammal that lives in the ocean and they communicate with each other through a complex series of sounds that we to this day can't understand and that there's several tons.
02:49:46.000 And they have accents.
02:49:47.000 They have accents.
02:49:48.000 Yeah, they have dialects.
02:49:49.000 They leap through the air and smash it.
02:49:51.000 They stay together in pods for life and they have a very strong family bond.
02:49:56.000 If they didn't exist, if this was just like some Bigfoot-type myth, it would be way more interesting than Bigfoot.
02:50:00.000 Because what does Bigfoot do?
02:50:02.000 He just wanders around the woods.
02:50:03.000 It's because Bigfoot looks like a human.
02:50:06.000 Yeah, exactly.
02:50:06.000 So it's that wild.
02:50:08.000 It's the dogs fascinated by the wolf, you know?
02:50:11.000 Right.
02:50:11.000 Yeah, exactly, right?
02:50:13.000 That is exactly what it is.
02:50:14.000 Like, that could have been us.
02:50:15.000 You know about this subgenre of women who read Bigfoot erotic literature?
02:50:20.000 There's so much of it!
02:50:21.000 There's a lot of it, man!
02:50:22.000 Yeah, you should write some, Joe.
02:50:24.000 I should.
02:50:24.000 That should be my move.
02:50:25.000 Maybe that's what I'll write.
02:50:26.000 Yeah, that's what you'll write.
02:50:27.000 Just really, like, blurry.
02:50:28.000 I'll write a blurb for you.
02:50:30.000 Nice.
02:50:30.000 For sure, yeah.
02:50:31.000 I'll blur the lines between erotica and just, like, horrible...
02:50:36.000 Hunting.
02:50:37.000 Primal, like, slaughtering.
02:50:41.000 Slaughtering of villagers and then fucking the women.
02:50:43.000 It'd be like some weird murder porn.
02:50:45.000 Like you would storm into some weird log cabin and kill the dude.
02:50:48.000 And you do that famous photo of you, you know, looking all badass in black and white.
02:50:53.000 That's the back one for the author?
02:50:54.000 Yeah, that's your author photo for sure.
02:50:56.000 It drinks way too much coffee.
02:50:58.000 It's getting me wet just thinking about it.
02:50:59.000 Wow, you get wet?
02:51:01.000 A little bit.
02:51:02.000 I'm about 56 years old, Joe.
02:51:05.000 Got a little leakage.
02:51:06.000 By the way, last week, big, big event in my life.
02:51:09.000 What happened?
02:51:10.000 First prostate exam, bitches.
02:51:11.000 Ooh, how was that?
02:51:12.000 It was fabulous.
02:51:14.000 Did it feel good?
02:51:15.000 No.
02:51:16.000 No.
02:51:16.000 No, but...
02:51:16.000 But everything's...
02:51:17.000 You look very healthy.
02:51:18.000 Can I just say that?
02:51:19.000 Thank you.
02:51:20.000 You look, right now, you look rested and healthy.
02:51:21.000 Last time I saw you, you and me and Duncan were here, it was maybe three months ago.
02:51:26.000 There was a moment, we were talking about something, and you said, you know, going to yoga two days a week can change your life.
02:51:34.000 And you looked at me, and I don't know that this was happening on your end, but on my end it felt significant.
02:51:40.000 It felt like you were saying, Chris, Chris, you know, just two yoga classes a week can change your life.
02:51:46.000 And I started going to yoga, and I feel much better.
02:51:50.000 Oh, look at that!
02:51:50.000 That's why you're all healthy looking.
02:51:52.000 That and my urologist.
02:51:54.000 That's beautiful.
02:51:55.000 So I got to tell you about this urologist, though.
02:51:57.000 Okay.
02:51:57.000 Super cool guy.
02:51:58.000 Would you give him four stars on Yelp?
02:52:00.000 I'd give him five.
02:52:01.000 Wow.
02:52:01.000 Yeah.
02:52:03.000 And in fact, I've invited him on my podcast.
02:52:06.000 Oh, wow.
02:52:07.000 But he's hesitant to do it, and I understand why.
02:52:09.000 He works for a big hospital, and he doesn't want to- Become a rock star.
02:52:13.000 But we ended up hanging out in his office talking for a while.
02:52:15.000 This dude gave himself a vasectomy.
02:52:20.000 Right.
02:52:21.000 Ooh.
02:52:22.000 He told me, he's like...
02:52:23.000 That's how bad he didn't want to have kids.
02:52:26.000 He pried his dickhole open and just chopped away.
02:52:29.000 He was just like, you know, I do it.
02:52:31.000 I've done a lot of them.
02:52:32.000 I want to see if I can do it.
02:52:33.000 And he said, you know, my wife wasn't into the idea, but she insisted that I have a colleague standing by in case I got into trouble.
02:52:39.000 So that made sense.
02:52:40.000 The guy was going a little to the left?
02:52:42.000 He gave himself a fucking vasectomy.
02:52:45.000 That is the most badass thing I think I've ever heard.
02:52:48.000 Did he like...
02:52:49.000 What did he do with his feet?
02:52:51.000 I don't know the position.
02:52:53.000 Feet back like this here, like way back, like a contortionist, and just digging in.
02:52:58.000 He said it's on the side of the scrotum.
02:53:02.000 Maybe yours, bro.
02:53:03.000 Not mine.
02:53:04.000 Oh, you got yours up your butt?
02:53:05.000 Yeah.
02:53:07.000 That's what the people are proud of.
02:53:09.000 They told me I had the biggest pipe.
02:53:11.000 When they had to tie my tubes, they said they never saw tubes like mine.
02:53:14.000 They never saw them like a fucking garden hose, bro.
02:53:16.000 He said to me afterwards, he said, you got the prostate of a 20-year-old.
02:53:20.000 Oh, nice.
02:53:20.000 I love you, brother.
02:53:21.000 That's good.
02:53:22.000 That's good to hear.
02:53:23.000 Yeah.
02:53:24.000 Are you fixed?
02:53:26.000 No.
02:53:26.000 You're not?
02:53:27.000 You're still shooting live loads?
02:53:28.000 Who knows?
02:53:29.000 Who knows how live they are at this point?
02:53:31.000 Yeah.
02:53:32.000 Now you got defects in your loads.
02:53:34.000 Yeah.
02:53:35.000 When you get older, you get defects in your loads.
02:53:37.000 That's right.
02:53:37.000 Yeah.
02:53:38.000 So, dude, you really do look healthier.
02:53:40.000 Like, I'm not bullshitting.
02:53:41.000 Thank you.
02:53:41.000 I saw that, like, instantly.
02:53:43.000 So, two yoga classes a day, or a week, rather.
02:53:46.000 A week, yeah.
02:53:47.000 A day will probably cripple you.
02:53:48.000 Let's not get crazy.
02:53:48.000 You'll probably come in here emaciated.
02:53:50.000 But two a week really can change your life.
02:53:52.000 Yeah, and I'm doing the old lady classes too.
02:53:55.000 Those old ladies are tough as fuck.
02:53:57.000 That's how they got to be old ladies.
02:53:58.000 Dude, plank position, I'm like, lady, come on, my arms are shaking.
02:54:02.000 There's some old ladies in my class that humble me.
02:54:05.000 I take yoga with these old ladies, old housewives, and they're fucking tough as shit, and they're in there every day.
02:54:11.000 I come there a couple days a week, and they look at me like, oh, decided to drop in.
02:54:16.000 They're there every day.
02:54:18.000 Every day.
02:54:19.000 You see their progress, too.
02:54:21.000 Especially, it's very impressive to me when you see flexibility progress in old people.
02:54:27.000 And you realize, like, most of what we take for, we decide, like, oh, this is how far your body should move when you're 60, or this is how your body should move when you're 70. It's based on the average person who doesn't do a It's a goddamn thing with their body.
02:54:40.000 You don't go hiking, you don't eat right.
02:54:42.000 Again, it's based on what you see around you.
02:54:44.000 In Spain, everybody goes for a walk after dinner.
02:54:47.000 You can be 90 years old, they're out there walking after dinner.
02:54:49.000 It's a way to go, too.
02:54:50.000 It's nice.
02:54:51.000 If you go to a nice place, it feels good to have a meal and then walk around.
02:54:55.000 That's why it's like, you ever eat in Malibu?
02:54:58.000 There's a Malibu seafood.
02:54:59.000 You ever see that?
02:55:00.000 You know what that place is?
02:55:00.000 Yeah, right on the PCH? Yeah, you eat outside.
02:55:03.000 It's really good, and they have fresh seafood there.
02:55:06.000 Are you talking about the real inn?
02:55:08.000 No, no, no.
02:55:09.000 I think it's called Malibu Seafood.
02:55:11.000 I think that's what it's called.
02:55:11.000 But anyway...
02:55:13.000 The problem is getting across the PCH. You've got to get across the PCH. That's death-defying.
02:55:17.000 Oh, you park on one side and run across?
02:55:19.000 Yeah, you've got to run across.
02:55:20.000 Especially with little kids.
02:55:21.000 That's fucking scary.
02:55:22.000 You should go to the Real Inn.
02:55:23.000 It's on the PCH down near Topanga.
02:55:25.000 I've heard that's good.
02:55:26.000 It is good.
02:55:26.000 And they've got tables outside.
02:55:27.000 You can bring a dog in.
02:55:29.000 It's kind of picnic tables.
02:55:30.000 Anyway, we talk about this after.
02:55:33.000 Yeah.
02:55:35.000 There's another restaurant in Malibu, too, that's a really good spot.
02:55:37.000 It's right on the beach.
02:55:38.000 You can eat and then just go walk.
02:55:41.000 Yeah.
02:55:41.000 It's like walking on the beach or just going for a walk, like right after a meal.
02:55:45.000 That's what everybody's supposed to do.
02:55:46.000 Yeah.
02:55:47.000 Yeah, for sure.
02:55:48.000 Yeah.
02:55:48.000 It helps digestion.
02:55:49.000 And when you live in a, you know, I saw this so much in Spain, when you live in a culture that's healthy, you're healthy.
02:55:56.000 You know what my favorite example is?
02:55:58.000 Boulder, Colorado.
02:55:59.000 Oh, yeah.
02:56:00.000 You go to Boulder, everybody's got fucking Patagonia jackets on, they're running up hills and Yeah.
02:56:04.000 Dirt bike riding.
02:56:06.000 There's a yoga place every corner.
02:56:07.000 And people are having fun.
02:56:08.000 Having a good time.
02:56:09.000 It's not work.
02:56:10.000 No.
02:56:10.000 It's fun.
02:56:11.000 Well, exercise is fun.
02:56:13.000 That's what people don't understand.
02:56:14.000 It's not fun to be unhealthy.
02:56:18.000 And when you try to exercise when you're unhealthy, it feels like shit because your body feels like shit.
02:56:22.000 But once you get the dust knocked off of it and get it moving...
02:56:25.000 And I'm not talking about CrossFit or fucking MMA training or Jiu Jitsu.
02:56:30.000 I'm just talking about any kind of exercise.
02:56:32.000 Just get that blood flowing.
02:56:33.000 You'll be a better version of you.
02:56:36.000 I got a bike...
02:56:38.000 I don't know if you've talked about this.
02:56:39.000 It's this electric assist mountain bike.
02:56:41.000 Oh, yeah.
02:56:42.000 My friend John Dudley has those.
02:56:44.000 Fuck!
02:56:44.000 Isn't that great!
02:56:45.000 They're amazing!
02:56:46.000 It's so much fun.
02:56:47.000 Yeah.
02:56:47.000 And where I live, it's like uphill to get to any of the fire roads.
02:56:51.000 Right.
02:56:51.000 So a normal bike, I'm just not going to do it, you know, because it's like a half hour of hell to get anywhere interesting.
02:56:57.000 Yeah.
02:56:57.000 But this thing, it only assists when you pedal.
02:57:00.000 Right.
02:57:01.000 There's no throttle or anything.
02:57:02.000 Right.
02:57:03.000 Specialized gave it to me because I had this dude on my podcast who's...
02:57:09.000 Professional mountain bike racer.
02:57:11.000 And he was like, dude, you got to get a bike.
02:57:13.000 You're in Topanga.
02:57:14.000 This is heaven here.
02:57:15.000 And I was like, yeah, but like, that's where I would ride, you know, way the fuck up there.
02:57:19.000 And he's like, yeah, let me talk to some people.
02:57:21.000 Well, my buddy John Dudley uses those for deer hunting.
02:57:25.000 Because when you walk on the ground, well, not just that, when you walk on the ground, you leave scent.
02:57:31.000 So instead of doing that, he rides a bike.
02:57:34.000 So when you ride a bike, deer's nose is so much stronger and more powerful than ours that if the wind is at your back and the deer's in front of you, you're fucked.
02:57:44.000 You're just fucked.
02:57:45.000 But if you play the wind correctly, one of the best ways to avoid leaving scent if a deer passes by after you've been there is to ride a bike.
02:57:53.000 But you don't want to ride a bike and exert yourself because then you'll be sweaty and you have to sit in a tree stand.
02:57:59.000 You'll freeze your fucking ass off.
02:58:01.000 So instead he has these electric assist bikes and they're fucking amazing.
02:58:04.000 And when I was in Iowa, we took these suckers out into the woods.
02:58:08.000 It's fun, huh?
02:58:08.000 It's amazing.
02:58:09.000 They're so easy.
02:58:10.000 Uphill doesn't matter.
02:58:12.000 Just up the hill, no problem.
02:58:14.000 It's still an effort, but it's just like a light walk.
02:58:19.000 They're awesome.
02:58:20.000 I took it out to Utah.
02:58:22.000 I was out in the van.
02:58:23.000 Scarlett Jovanson and I were out in Canyonlands.
02:58:27.000 That's so nice, man.
02:58:28.000 That's so pretty.
02:58:29.000 And there was this one ride.
02:58:30.000 It was like 20 miles, I think, out on this Jeep track.
02:58:35.000 Like, you could never go on...
02:58:37.000 I mean, even in a Jeep, like a serious four-wheel drive, you're going two miles an hour on something.
02:58:43.000 But on this bike, just cruising.
02:58:46.000 20 miles out to where the Colorado and the Green River converge...
02:58:50.000 It's this canyon, nobody out there, and I'm just cruising.
02:58:54.000 It's like riding a horse.
02:58:56.000 It's so cool.
02:58:57.000 I did think at one point when I was going through this field with tall grasses that to a cougar I would have looked like...
02:59:06.000 Impossible to resist.
02:59:08.000 Yeah.
02:59:08.000 Yeah, maybe.
02:59:09.000 Top speed's 20 miles an hour, so it would have got me.
02:59:12.000 Most cougars are not really into attacking people, but they have attacked people on mountain bikes before.
02:59:17.000 Sure.
02:59:18.000 And runners.
02:59:19.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:59:20.000 I think it's like a yarn thing, like a ball of yarn in front of a kitten.
02:59:24.000 You just can't help it.
02:59:25.000 Well, you've got cats, right?
02:59:26.000 Yeah.
02:59:27.000 Somehow I feel like cats are similar enough that if I saw a cougar, I would know how to deal with it just because I know cats.
02:59:34.000 Man, good luck with all that.
02:59:35.000 You can bluff a cat.
02:59:36.000 Did you see the video I posted up today where a guy in Boulder saw four fucking mountain lions on his street walking together.
02:59:42.000 Four?
02:59:42.000 A family must have been.
02:59:43.000 Big ones.
02:59:45.000 Four full-grown fucking mountain lions.
02:59:47.000 Oh, not a mother and young.
02:59:48.000 No.
02:59:48.000 But they don't hang together.
02:59:49.000 They do.
02:59:50.000 They're solitary.
02:59:51.000 Not according to this fucking video.
02:59:53.000 Go full screen and freak us out, Jamie.
02:59:55.000 They're not pack animals.
02:59:57.000 Yeah, but there's two.
02:59:58.000 Or prides.
02:59:58.000 Look at that.
02:59:59.000 Two big-ass, grown-ass mountain lions, and they go down the street, look, what do we have at the end of the road?
03:00:04.000 Oh, another big-ass, grown-ass mountain lion, and another one lying on its back over there.
03:00:10.000 Imagine turning that corner in your fucking electric bike.
03:00:16.000 Get you a man!
03:00:17.000 They're in the road!
03:00:18.000 They're in the fucking road!
03:00:19.000 So this guy, this is his house.
03:00:21.000 This guy's looking out of his house.
03:00:23.000 I guess he's outside of Boulder.
03:00:24.000 Mountain lions don't give a shit.
03:00:26.000 That's where a mountain lion ate my dog in Boulder.
03:00:29.000 Really?
03:00:29.000 Yeah.
03:00:30.000 They get dogs all the time, yeah.
03:00:32.000 They get them.
03:00:32.000 They hang around near your house.
03:00:34.000 They start targeting your dogs.
03:00:35.000 It's an easy prey.
03:00:36.000 It's hard to get a deer.
03:00:37.000 My wife's dog got eaten by a lion.
03:00:38.000 A real African lion.
03:00:40.000 Oh, shit.
03:00:41.000 That's more scary.
03:00:42.000 Yeah.
03:00:43.000 Yeah, it's Africa.
03:00:44.000 Fuck!
03:00:45.000 What kind of dog was it?
03:00:46.000 It was a small Pomeranian-American Eskimo mix.
03:00:50.000 It's the sweetheart of a dog.
03:00:53.000 He was a great dog.
03:00:55.000 Worst ways to go.
03:00:56.000 Yeah.
03:00:57.000 Look, there's just some stuff out there, man, between the bears and the cats and also the foxes.
03:01:05.000 Foxes are amazing.
03:01:07.000 I mean, I love foxes.
03:01:08.000 I mean, I think they're really interesting animals, and they're one of the few animals in the wild that will, if you live in a certain area for long enough, they will almost become domesticated.
03:01:19.000 They'll get close to you and hang out with you, and you can feed them, and they'll walk with you and hang out with you real close by.
03:01:25.000 They're a weird animal.
03:01:26.000 They're not quite a wolf, and they're not like a coyote.
03:01:29.000 Our relationship with foxes is very playful.
03:01:35.000 Have you ever seen Grizzly Man?
03:01:37.000 Yeah, sure.
03:01:37.000 Remember his relationship with the fox?
03:01:39.000 Hung around the campsite or something?
03:01:40.000 Took his hat, stole his hat, ran away.
03:01:42.000 They were playing.
03:01:43.000 The fox used to sit on his tent, and he'd be right there.
03:01:46.000 He'd be like, how are you?
03:01:47.000 Good morning today.
03:01:48.000 They would just hang with him and walk with him.
03:01:50.000 There's that lady, Sue Akins, who lives 200-plus miles above the Arctic Circle.
03:01:56.000 She's on that show, Life Below Zero.
03:01:58.000 There it is.
03:01:59.000 There's the Grizzly Man.
03:02:00.000 Like, look at this fucking animal.
03:02:01.000 Just hanging with him, man.
03:02:03.000 And that's Alaska.
03:02:04.000 That's way the fuck out.
03:02:06.000 Yep.
03:02:07.000 Weigh the fuck out, but once they get accustomed to you, they're very intelligent, and they realize, like, this guy's not going to hurt me.
03:02:14.000 Then they become like your little buddy, and if you give them food...
03:02:17.000 I mean, this is essentially how animals got domesticated, right?
03:02:20.000 This is how wolves became dogs.
03:02:22.000 They just hung around with us long enough that they were outside the edge of the campfire, and we gave them food to keep them from, you know, attacking us or whatever.
03:02:30.000 But foxes, in particular...
03:02:33.000 They'll kill the shit out of your cat.
03:02:34.000 They'll kill your dog.
03:02:35.000 Foxes will kill a lot of things.
03:02:36.000 They kill a lot of fawns.
03:02:38.000 I saw a fox on the internet with a fawn that was almost as big as its body.
03:02:45.000 And it was dragging this fawn across this road.
03:02:49.000 And I was like, ugh.
03:02:50.000 I never thought it would kill something that big.
03:02:52.000 I thought they'd get rats, like...
03:02:54.000 Yeah, well, they do, generally, right?
03:02:56.000 Marmot, or not marmots, moles and stuff.
03:02:59.000 You ever see how they jump?
03:03:00.000 They hear so well, they can locate it under the snow and just...
03:03:03.000 Well, here's something fucked up.
03:03:05.000 I had a coyote kill one of my chickens recently, and I buried the chicken.
03:03:10.000 And I was in the yard the other day.
03:03:12.000 I heard this noise and my golden retriever who has zero killer instinct.
03:03:18.000 I mean, he'll kill like a bird or something if he gets a hold of it, but he's not like a guard dog.
03:03:23.000 He's a sweetie.
03:03:24.000 And he's like, what is going on over there?
03:03:26.000 And these coyotes are on the roof of the fucking hen house trying to pry away the chicken wire.
03:03:33.000 And I hear this clink, clink.
03:03:35.000 And the clink clink is the coyotes biting the chicken wire trying to break it open to get into the chickens.
03:03:40.000 So they killed one chicken.
03:03:41.000 I chased him off.
03:03:43.000 I got a video of it.
03:03:44.000 I was going to post it, but I was like, this is too gross.
03:03:47.000 Chicken that got fucked up by this coyote.
03:03:48.000 Plus, it's sad.
03:03:49.000 I love those chickens.
03:03:50.000 They're like a pet, you know?
03:03:51.000 So I dug a hole, buried the chicken, and the coyote dug the fucking hole up and found the chicken.
03:03:58.000 And it was like a couple feet down.
03:04:00.000 You know, it wasn't a super shallow grave.
03:04:02.000 I mean, that coyote smelled that chicken through two feet of dirt.
03:04:06.000 Yeah.
03:04:07.000 And went and dug it out.
03:04:08.000 I went out there a couple days later and I was like, where's the fucking chicken?
03:04:12.000 There's just a hole there.
03:04:13.000 I was like, whoa.
03:04:14.000 This is crazy.
03:04:16.000 They could smell through the dirt, man.
03:04:18.000 They knew the chicken was down there.
03:04:21.000 That's crazy.
03:04:22.000 That's crazy.
03:04:23.000 Do you ever have strange experience with wild animals while you were tripping?
03:04:28.000 Never.
03:04:29.000 I've had zero experience with animals while tripping.
03:04:32.000 Yeah.
03:04:33.000 I've had a lot because I trip in the woods a lot.
03:04:35.000 Yeah man, I know too much about the woods.
03:04:38.000 I want to trip inside an armed compound.
03:04:42.000 Well, that'll be safe.
03:04:43.000 Loaded guns nearby.
03:04:46.000 You got a fear fetish.
03:04:49.000 No, I'm always joking around.
03:04:51.000 Half of it is for entertainment.
03:04:53.000 I've done mushrooms in a field before.
03:04:56.000 It didn't freak me out.
03:04:58.000 Baseball field.
03:04:59.000 When Aubrey and I went bear hunting, he took mushrooms one of the days.
03:05:03.000 I wasn't with him.
03:05:05.000 You go to your own little area of the woods by yourself.
03:05:08.000 I'd find it hard to shoot anything if I were tripping.
03:05:10.000 You wouldn't if you were hungry.
03:05:12.000 The thing about those things is bear hunting is a weird one, man.
03:05:16.000 Because they need to control the populations.
03:05:18.000 Because if they don't control the populations, the bears decimate the moose and the deer.
03:05:21.000 They eat 50% of the fawns as it is.
03:05:25.000 Although the deer population is out of control.
03:05:27.000 In a lot of places.
03:05:28.000 Not in Alberta.
03:05:29.000 Is that where you are?
03:05:31.000 Pennsylvania.
03:05:32.000 It's a healthy balance, but it's only apparently a healthy balance according to biologists.
03:05:37.000 It's not according to vegans or hunters, but according to biologists, it's only healthy if the bear population is kept to a certain number.
03:05:44.000 If it gets too crazy, then they run out of food, and then there's a lot of cannibalism already, but then it gets even worse, and then they start encroaching on cities and towns, and it gets...
03:05:56.000 It gets weird.
03:05:56.000 But they treat it in terms of a number thing, instead of looking at it from a moral standpoint.
03:06:03.000 Like, should you kill an animal?
03:06:04.000 They're like, well, if you don't kill an animal, this animal's overbalanced, this animal's going to be underpopulated now, because they're going to go after them, and they're going to kill a disproportionate number of them.
03:06:14.000 They try to keep this.
03:06:15.000 But bears are apex predators.
03:06:17.000 Yes, nothing.
03:06:18.000 So who is killing bears?
03:06:20.000 Other bears.
03:06:21.000 Grizzlies.
03:06:21.000 So then the ultimate balance is to just leave the bears and let the other bears kill them.
03:06:27.000 That's a good balance, but then you're living in a world where you have 11-foot, 12-foot grizzlies everywhere you go.
03:06:33.000 Wandering into town.
03:06:34.000 Because if you live in a place like Alberta, in some areas of Alberta you have You know, good population of elk and moose and deer.
03:06:42.000 Well, that means you're going to have a good population of monsters.
03:06:45.000 So if you're comfortable with that, you just have to decide, like, how much risk do you want to have?
03:06:52.000 Because once the bears chew through them, they're going to go after you.
03:06:56.000 You shoot boars with a bow?
03:06:58.000 Wild boars?
03:06:59.000 Yeah, I've done that.
03:07:00.000 A friend of mine invited me to go do that in Hawaii.
03:07:04.000 Hawaii has to do it.
03:07:05.000 That's a good place.
03:07:06.000 Because of that.
03:07:06.000 They don't have any predators.
03:07:07.000 And they fuck up.
03:07:08.000 He was explaining that the boars fuck up the coral reefs because they dig up all the dirt and then it runs off in the rain and it contaminates the bays.
03:07:18.000 Oh, that makes sense.
03:07:19.000 Yeah, so it's a really big thing in Hawaii that they have to really go after the boars as much as possible.
03:07:25.000 There's a project right now in Maui where they're going to fence in an area, and the area that they're fenced in, they have to, it's like 5,000 acres, I think it is, where they have to eradicate the deer that are in this one particular area.
03:07:40.000 Because they're trying to reclaim the forest land and a lot of these deer, all of the deer, most of the large mammals in Hawaii are non-native.
03:07:48.000 Right.
03:07:48.000 And so these invasive species, these Axis deer from Asia actually, are just, they eat everything.
03:07:54.000 Nothing gets to grow.
03:07:55.000 There's not going to be a forest because the little things grow and they just eat them.
03:07:58.000 They eat them right when they're coming up, and there's so many of them.
03:08:01.000 So they also have a problem with people needing food.
03:08:05.000 So what they're doing is they have this project where they're going out and they're hunting these animals, killing them, and then giving the food to people for free.
03:08:11.000 So they've set it up like this so they have a real sustainable food source for all these poor people, which is the best meat in the world.
03:08:17.000 It's so delicious.
03:08:18.000 That's what I was going to say.
03:08:19.000 Much better than industrial shit.
03:08:21.000 Sure.
03:08:22.000 Well, it's really good.
03:08:24.000 I mean, even in terms of wild game animal, they have the most delicious game animal.
03:08:28.000 There's like two thoughts.
03:08:30.000 Usually it's either elk or axis deer.
03:08:33.000 Those are the two that go back and forth.
03:08:34.000 I've had both.
03:08:35.000 They're both amazing.
03:08:35.000 But axis deer are fucking everywhere.
03:08:38.000 You ever had bison?
03:08:39.000 Yes.
03:08:40.000 Yes.
03:08:40.000 Yeah.
03:08:41.000 That's pretty tasty.
03:08:42.000 Free range bison is amazing.
03:08:44.000 Yeah.
03:08:44.000 It's amazing.
03:08:45.000 A cool animal, too, to see in the wild.
03:08:47.000 It's like a fucking truck.
03:08:49.000 Yeah, exactly.
03:08:50.000 Yeah, we saw them in Yellowstone.
03:08:51.000 Big herd of them, just chilling.
03:08:53.000 But it was weird because they were so accustomed to people.
03:08:55.000 They're just lounging like 100 yards from folks.
03:08:58.000 Can you imagine before they shot them all?
03:09:00.000 The oceans of those things.
03:09:02.000 Crazy.
03:09:03.000 Do you know where that came from?
03:09:04.000 That's another one that's a weird one that I didn't know.
03:09:06.000 Dan Flores is a fascinating guy.
03:09:08.000 He wrote a great book on coyotes called Coyote America.
03:09:11.000 But he wrote a paper.
03:09:15.000 It was bison diplomacy, bison ecology, that's the name of it.
03:09:19.000 But it's basically saying that what happened was when the Europeans came to America and the Europeans spread disease, it decimated the Native American population by as much as 90%.
03:09:30.000 That is when the bison boom happened.
03:09:33.000 Right.
03:09:33.000 Bison ecology and bison diplomacy, the southern plains from 1800 to 1850. So what his take is that the overpopulation of bison was a direct result of these Native American people being decimated.
03:09:50.000 We're good to go.
03:10:04.000 And he points to early settlers that described in great detail all of the various game animals that they came across, but nary a mention of the bison.
03:10:12.000 And certainly not a mention of like these gigantic million strong herds of bison roaming the plains.
03:10:19.000 And you think that's a direct result of all their predators, the Native Americans, who had gotten really good at hunting them and even, you know, even surplus hunting them where they drive them off cliffs and just take what they could that was at the bottom.
03:10:31.000 Yeah.
03:10:32.000 Although it's also interesting to think how the introduction of horses would have affected that.
03:10:36.000 Oh, that changed everything.
03:10:37.000 Horses and guns.
03:10:39.000 What Dan Flores says that is that just forget about European settlers.
03:10:44.000 Just the Native Americans with horses and rifles were on their way to extirpating the bison.
03:10:51.000 Yeah, crazy.
03:10:53.000 So, I mean, this does not exonerate all the Europeans that had the stacks of bones and that killed them in masks.
03:11:01.000 They certainly did that.
03:11:02.000 There's no doubt about it.
03:11:03.000 And that's what almost caused the complete extinction.
03:11:08.000 At the end, it was the Europeans.
03:11:10.000 It was us, the settlers.
03:11:11.000 Well, to starve out the Indians.
03:11:12.000 Yeah.
03:11:13.000 Well, no, it wasn't even that.
03:11:14.000 That's another thing that they think.
03:11:16.000 There was not a concerted effort to starve out the Indians.
03:11:18.000 They wanted it for food.
03:11:20.000 They wanted the tongues.
03:11:22.000 What I read is Buffalo Bill and those dudes were shooting them and just leaving the bodies out there.
03:11:27.000 It was to wipe out the Lakota because they couldn't fucking beat the Lakota.
03:11:31.000 That might have been done as well.
03:11:33.000 And the Cheyenne.
03:11:34.000 That's not what...
03:11:35.000 That's what killed them off.
03:11:36.000 When you see these giant stacks of skulls, they were using them as a commodity.
03:11:41.000 A lot of it was just for their tongues, believe it or not.
03:11:44.000 Their tongues were a very valuable delicacy.
03:11:47.000 And then it was for their skins.
03:11:50.000 They had meat hunting, what they called market hunting, where they'd take guys who came back from the war, and they were looking for a job, but one of the best jobs they can get.
03:11:58.000 Are you a good shot?
03:11:59.000 Great.
03:12:00.000 You could be a hunter.
03:12:01.000 And they would go and shoot fucking everything, everything that moved.
03:12:04.000 And they wiped out all the antelope, all the elk, all the bison.
03:12:08.000 It wasn't just the bison.
03:12:09.000 It's just the bison is such an iconic thing.
03:12:12.000 And then, obviously, those piles of skulls, it was unusual, the amount of effort they put into...
03:12:18.000 Killing them.
03:12:19.000 But I don't think it was necessarily just to wipe out them so that the Native Americans would starve.
03:12:25.000 I'm sure they did that locally in some spots.
03:12:26.000 You ever read Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee?
03:12:29.000 No, I don't think I did.
03:12:30.000 It's a beautiful book.
03:12:31.000 It's a really interesting book about the sort of final chapter of different tribes in North America.
03:12:39.000 Geronimo and the Apaches and, you know, Sitting Bull and all these people.
03:12:44.000 It's just really interesting, the story of the sort of contact and the characters and the different things that happen.
03:12:51.000 Yeah, I read that when I was very young, when I was running around in a loincloth throwing apples at rabbits.
03:12:58.000 If you look at human history, what is this here?
03:13:01.000 They used to shoot them from trains.
03:13:04.000 They did it for fun, too.
03:13:07.000 Crazy.
03:13:08.000 There were so many of them.
03:13:09.000 They just thought they could just shoot them.
03:13:11.000 What a relationship with the natural world that represents.
03:13:16.000 This is what I was going to say.
03:13:17.000 Has there ever been anything like that other than I mean, anything in terms of the impact of a group of people landing on a continent.
03:13:28.000 Like, nothing that we've ever observed.
03:13:30.000 It's the greatest mortality in history, for sure.
03:13:32.000 And the greatest change, too.
03:13:34.000 Like, not only that, but this weird movement to the West and, like, a landing.
03:13:41.000 Landing on this weird continent that was filled with these people that lived in a completely different way I mean what are the odds that you're gonna get to a place you think of where Europe was in the 1700s the 1400s You know when the first started arriving and think of the sophistication with the boats and the written language all the different things and then they show up go across the ocean and land to a place that has zero cities and No,
03:14:07.000 there were cities.
03:14:08.000 Tenochtitlan was bigger than almost all European cities when Cortez walked into it.
03:14:14.000 That's in Mexico?
03:14:15.000 In Mexico.
03:14:15.000 That's where the Aztecs were.
03:14:16.000 Right, right.
03:14:17.000 And they also had sewage and lit streets.
03:14:20.000 Well, they did more in South America than they did in North America, right?
03:14:23.000 Yeah, no.
03:14:24.000 I mean, you're talking about America, Canada.
03:14:26.000 There was nothing comparable at that point.
03:14:28.000 Yeah, that's what I meant.
03:14:29.000 In Mexico, yeah.
03:14:30.000 When they're landing here and they made their way all the way to California, they're not encountering a single city.
03:14:35.000 Right.
03:14:36.000 I mean, that's just fucking bananas.
03:14:37.000 You've got thousands of miles of just natural people living in tents.
03:14:42.000 Yeah.
03:14:43.000 You know?
03:14:43.000 Crazy.
03:14:43.000 You ever sleep in a teepee?
03:14:45.000 No.
03:14:45.000 This place in Terlingua, I stayed in a teepee.
03:14:48.000 Jeff, the microbiology guy, he's got a bunch of, or microbiome guy, he's got a bunch of teepees.
03:14:53.000 They're like luxury, beautiful teepees.
03:14:55.000 Luxury teepees?
03:14:56.000 Fucking great, yeah.
03:14:57.000 What's a luxury teepee?
03:14:59.000 Jamie, Base Camp Terlingua.
03:15:02.000 You'll see, they're fucking beautiful.
03:15:04.000 Base Camp and Terlingua, T-E-R-L-I-N-G-U-A. Terlingua.
03:15:09.000 It's a...
03:15:11.000 Yeah, they're fucking sweet.
03:15:12.000 They've got like a concrete base and maybe a three-foot wall around it and then the teepee's on top so the wind doesn't blow right under.
03:15:20.000 Oh, nice.
03:15:21.000 And then he showed me the design of teepees is really interesting.
03:15:24.000 It's like they're designed so the wind comes under the teepee.
03:15:27.000 Yeah, there you go.
03:15:28.000 Oh, that's dope.
03:15:29.000 Check that out.
03:15:29.000 Isn't that sweet?
03:15:30.000 Oh, so they rent those out?
03:15:31.000 Yeah.
03:15:32.000 Oh, this is crazy.
03:15:33.000 We offer a one-of-a-kind teepee experience with our massive 26-foot teepee over the top of a sunken kiva.
03:15:41.000 What's a kiva?
03:15:42.000 Kiva is like a Hopi dwelling that's semi-submerged.
03:15:47.000 Each of our three luxury teepees has a comfy king-sized bed, fold-out couch, plenty of seating, rugs throughout, sink, undercounter fridge, Keurig, coffee maker, microwave, oh, you can make microwave popcorn, outdoor fire pit.
03:16:04.000 I think outdoor is one word there, isn't it?
03:16:06.000 It should be.
03:16:11.000 Hey, Jeff!
03:16:12.000 Get with the fucking typos here.
03:16:14.000 Chisos Mountains.
03:16:15.000 Yeah.
03:16:15.000 It's a beautiful area.
03:16:17.000 It looks like it.
03:16:18.000 Man, that looks badass.
03:16:20.000 Isn't it nice?
03:16:20.000 Wow.
03:16:21.000 I slept in both of those houses.
03:16:22.000 That's cool.
03:16:23.000 100-year-old...
03:16:24.000 Hold on, Jamie.
03:16:26.000 Rebolt...
03:16:26.000 Casa Azul.
03:16:27.000 100-year-old ruin located in the heart of Terlingua Ghost Town.
03:16:32.000 That's amazing.
03:16:33.000 Dude, we gotta wrap this up.
03:16:34.000 Yeah.
03:16:35.000 I gotta piss like a racehorse.
03:16:37.000 I'm sure you do.
03:16:38.000 Tangentially reading.
03:16:39.000 It's out now.
03:16:40.000 Anybody can get it.
03:16:41.000 Everywhere.
03:16:41.000 All the places that they sell books.
03:16:44.000 And, of course, tangentially speaking.
03:16:46.000 All the places you get podcasts.
03:16:48.000 There it is.
03:16:49.000 Listen, man.
03:16:49.000 I'm glad you did this.
03:16:51.000 I'm glad you became a podcast guy.
03:16:53.000 Yeah.
03:16:53.000 The podcast world is richer for it.
03:16:55.000 Well, thank you, man.
03:16:56.000 I appreciate it very much.
03:16:56.000 I'm richer for it.
03:16:57.000 Thanks to you and Duncan.
03:16:58.000 Chris Ryan, motherfuckers!
03:17:00.000 That's it.
03:17:01.000 See you guys tomorrow.
03:17:01.000 Bye.