The Joe Rogan Experience - June 06, 2018


Joe Rogan Experience #1128 - Ryan Sickler


Episode Stats

Length

2 hours and 37 minutes

Words per Minute

200.80144

Word Count

31,653

Sentence Count

3,482

Misogynist Sentences

144


Summary

Joe Rogan is a comedian from Baltimore, MD. He's funny, smart, and has a weird accent. We talk about his life growing up in the city and how he got rid of it, and what it's like to grow up in a big city like Baltimore. We also talk about how he picked up his accent and how it's affected his comedy career. Joe Rogan's podcast is out now on all podcast directories. Click here for the link to buy tickets to Joe's upcoming show on HBO's "Saturday Night Live" at the Rose Bowl on Saturday, February 15th at 7 PM ET. Tickets go on sale on Friday, February 16th at 9 PM EST. If you're looking for tickets to the show, click here to get your tickets now. The Rose Bowl is a sold-out show every Saturday night at 8 PM ET at Union Station in Brooklyn, New York. Tickets start at $59.99 and go up to $99.99 after the show.00.00 and include tax and gratuity. This episode was sponsored by VaynerMedia, the world-renowned sports nutrition and nutrition company. We are a proud affiliate of Vayor Media. Our goal is to provide high-quality, high-end health and wellness products and services. We are committed to providing the best in-home care in the best of the best practices in the country. We provide the highest-suite in the market. Thank you for supporting the service, we can provide the best care and support the best possible care and training in the industry in the world. We appreciate your feedback and support your needs and your neediest clients deserve the best and we appreciate your support. Thank you so much for your support, we appreciate you, we really appreciate it. Thanks for being a friend, we truly appreciate you. -Jon Sorrentino, Brian Sickler, and the support is so much, thank you, Brian, and we are grateful for you, you rock with us, we're a lot of love and support us, you're amazing, we love you, and you're a rockstar, we are so much more than you know what you're beautiful, you mean it, you deserve it, we know you're great, we mean it. We're not kidding, we got it, so we're not even halfway through this, we'll get it, Thank you, so much of it's gonna get it!


Transcript

00:00:01.000 Five, four, three, two, one.
00:00:05.000 Brian Sickler brought some Baltimore work ethic.
00:00:09.000 I can't believe you got actual pieces of paper that you brought.
00:00:12.000 What kind of comic are you?
00:00:14.000 What are you, prepared?
00:00:15.000 I'm prepared, man.
00:00:16.000 I'm prepared.
00:00:17.000 This is just shit to come back to.
00:00:19.000 That Baltimore accent is so...
00:00:20.000 I have two very good friends.
00:00:22.000 My good friend John Rollo and my good friend Ben O'Brien.
00:00:26.000 Both from Baltimore.
00:00:27.000 Both got that weird...
00:00:28.000 If you don't know that Baltimore...
00:00:30.000 Yeah, it's a weird accent.
00:00:32.000 It's like, what is that?
00:00:34.000 Hey, Joe Rogan.
00:00:35.000 Hey, Joe Rogan.
00:00:37.000 I love your podcast, Joe.
00:00:39.000 It's a weird accent.
00:00:40.000 It's so fucking weird.
00:00:43.000 And people there, like, hardcore, they say shit like for zinc, they'll say zinc.
00:00:47.000 Kitchen zinc.
00:00:48.000 What?
00:00:49.000 Ambulance.
00:00:50.000 Kitchen zinc.
00:00:51.000 I didn't realize I had a southern accent until I moved here, and I still don't believe I have a southern accent.
00:00:57.000 I'll give it a draw.
00:00:58.000 I'll give it a draw.
00:00:59.000 It is a southern accent, but it's a different one.
00:01:03.000 It's not Alabama.
00:01:04.000 That's Mississippi South.
00:01:06.000 It's a friendly southern accent.
00:01:09.000 Like, it's not like, man, I can't talk to this motherfucker.
00:01:12.000 Right.
00:01:12.000 But it's like, oh, where are you from?
00:01:14.000 It's one of those.
00:01:15.000 People are always surprised when I say Maryland.
00:01:17.000 But when you get into pockets of, like, Virginia, they've got a southern accent there.
00:01:21.000 Even when you go into, like, Indiana, there's certain areas of Indiana that have a southern accent and other places that don't.
00:01:27.000 Like, it's really weird about these little settlements and they've just developed these accents that just stay there.
00:01:32.000 I think Baltimore is one of the most misunderstood though.
00:01:36.000 That's a weird one.
00:01:37.000 Because it's a big city.
00:01:38.000 I mean, Baltimore is a big city.
00:01:40.000 They call it the big little city.
00:01:42.000 Yeah.
00:01:42.000 I mean, how many people in Baltimore, if you had a guess?
00:01:45.000 A couple million?
00:01:46.000 I'd say that's fair.
00:01:46.000 Yeah, that's a fucking city.
00:01:48.000 It's a big city.
00:01:48.000 Bigger than San Diego, right?
00:01:50.000 Yes, yeah.
00:01:51.000 And older.
00:01:52.000 It's got history, you know.
00:01:53.000 That's the thing.
00:01:54.000 A lot of history.
00:01:55.000 But that weird-ass accent, that if you don't know anybody from Baltimore, you don't know that accent.
00:02:00.000 My buddy owns a junkyard in the city, and I took Jay back when we were on tour.
00:02:04.000 I was like, you gotta come meet him, see this junkyard and shit.
00:02:08.000 You know, people drop.
00:02:08.000 He's like, oh, we're doing everything.
00:02:10.000 And he's like, did you just put a K on the end of that right there?
00:02:15.000 Everything, yeah.
00:02:15.000 Everything?
00:02:16.000 You guys don't know anything you're doing over there.
00:02:18.000 And also, for years, I said Washington, D.C. Washer and dryer.
00:02:26.000 Because everyone there says it.
00:02:27.000 Right.
00:02:28.000 And one day somebody said, wait, what'd you say?
00:02:30.000 I said, put it in the washer.
00:02:31.000 And they're like, spell washer.
00:02:33.000 W-A-S-H-E-R. Like, there's no R in that.
00:02:35.000 And I was like, huh?
00:02:36.000 And I started saying to myself, I'm like, oh my God.
00:02:38.000 I do fucking say Washington and Warsher.
00:02:41.000 So I trained myself to get out of that.
00:02:43.000 But anytime I see something political on TV, if I hear someone say, we're in Washington, then I'm like, oh, you're from that area.
00:02:51.000 The same way with the days of the week I was telling you, Monday, Tuesday, we do our podcast, Crab Feast comes out every Tuesday, and I listen to announcers like Phil Simms.
00:03:00.000 He's like, well, they were working out on Monday.
00:03:02.000 And I'm like, yeah, you're probably from that area.
00:03:04.000 That's how I pick up little shit like that.
00:03:06.000 Yeah, well, I grew up in Boston.
00:03:08.000 That's an obvious accent.
00:03:09.000 Everybody knows that accent.
00:03:11.000 But you don't have it.
00:03:12.000 I got rid of it.
00:03:13.000 Oh, so you did have it.
00:03:14.000 I shook it loose.
00:03:16.000 Yeah, but if you hear me from like to that well like early before pre 2000 I had it You know, I just I heard it too much.
00:03:25.000 I heard it in my own voice.
00:03:26.000 I was like ew And I got rid of it first time I heard I was 19 I did this thing I was on local television at 19 and I heard my vote my accent I was like what in the fuck is that sound coming out of my mouth?
00:03:38.000 I gotta correct that Do you ever slip into it?
00:03:41.000 If I'm hammered.
00:03:42.000 If I'm hammered and I'm around Boston people, it'll come out a little bit.
00:03:46.000 But just a touch.
00:03:47.000 Just a touch.
00:03:48.000 Otherwise, it would be fake.
00:03:50.000 Mine comes out more.
00:03:51.000 Like, I'll go home for a week in the summer, and just by midweek, I'm just talking way.
00:03:56.000 You're home.
00:03:57.000 Home.
00:03:57.000 Oh, yeah, I'm home.
00:03:58.000 I'm home on the phone right now.
00:04:00.000 That's another one dropping an N on the end of now.
00:04:03.000 We're going to come over right now.
00:04:05.000 Now.
00:04:05.000 Like what?
00:04:06.000 You swallow your L's.
00:04:08.000 You say, let me get a salad.
00:04:11.000 And, uh, Billy?
00:04:13.000 Billy, what do you want to have?
00:04:14.000 He's going to have a salad, too.
00:04:16.000 He's out in the alley right now.
00:04:17.000 Like, there's no L. There's no L. How weird is that?
00:04:20.000 There's no L. Some people, I say Baltimore with a D. I put a touch of a D on it.
00:04:25.000 Bald.
00:04:25.000 Baltimore.
00:04:26.000 Baltimore.
00:04:27.000 Like Baltimore.
00:04:27.000 Versus Baltimore.
00:04:28.000 Right.
00:04:28.000 Right.
00:04:29.000 But, I bet your friends probably say Balmer.
00:04:32.000 That's how, like, a hardcore, like, when you ask, you know, out here you can ask anyone where you're from.
00:04:38.000 When you ask somebody back there, they're like, they don't even say, like, another area of Maryland.
00:04:42.000 They just go, here.
00:04:43.000 You know, I haven't left here.
00:04:45.000 This fucking block right here.
00:04:46.000 Like, what are you talking about?
00:04:47.000 This is where I'm from.
00:04:48.000 Like, this fucking house right here.
00:04:50.000 Yeah, man, there's something about me that envies people that are just, like, super locals.
00:04:54.000 They just say, fuck it, this is my spot.
00:04:56.000 That's another great name, Super Locals.
00:04:58.000 Yeah, man.
00:04:59.000 That's the truth.
00:05:00.000 There's people that are like that, right?
00:05:02.000 They just, like, this is where I fucking live.
00:05:04.000 This is my bar, yeah.
00:05:04.000 I'm like Denver, Colorado.
00:05:07.000 Every place else can go fuck off.
00:05:09.000 There's people like that.
00:05:10.000 I mean, it's like there's something to that, right?
00:05:12.000 You know that spot, and you're like, I get it.
00:05:15.000 I get the rest of the country.
00:05:16.000 Good luck.
00:05:17.000 Good luck with all that.
00:05:18.000 If you didn't live here, chasing those Hollywood dreams, where would you be?
00:05:24.000 In a perfect world, I'd probably have a house right on the Wye River in Maryland.
00:05:30.000 Salt water.
00:05:31.000 I'd have four-wheelers.
00:05:34.000 I'd throw some traps out in the water on Monday.
00:05:37.000 Oh, crab traps!
00:05:39.000 Yeah, bro.
00:05:40.000 Now, this is how you say the day Saturday.
00:05:43.000 By Saturday, we'll have a fucking crab feast.
00:05:48.000 Goddamn right.
00:05:49.000 Hence the podcast name.
00:05:50.000 That's right.
00:05:51.000 And every week, I would have my own.
00:05:53.000 I'd just throw them out there.
00:05:54.000 Because that's one thing I really miss about Maryland.
00:05:57.000 Like, the sushi out here is phenomenal.
00:05:59.000 But the seafood there is...
00:06:00.000 Different.
00:06:01.000 We could go to a dive bar right now and have a plate, a bucket of rocks, like little pony rolling rocks, and a plate of Muscles Marinara that will blow any fucking restaurant out here out in a dive blues bar.
00:06:14.000 I miss the readiness and availability of delicious seafood everywhere I go.
00:06:20.000 That's interesting.
00:06:21.000 Yeah, there's not a lot of really good seafood restaurants.
00:06:24.000 There's just sushi out here.
00:06:25.000 That's a real good point.
00:06:25.000 Yeah.
00:06:27.000 It's like, what do you get out here for seafood?
00:06:29.000 Like, someone will have salmon on the menu, or maybe there's like haddock or something like that, or halibut.
00:06:35.000 You know, there's not like, like back home in Boston, it was legal seafoods was a big joint.
00:06:40.000 Yes, 100%.
00:06:41.000 I mean, people went to a seafood restaurant.
00:06:43.000 Seafood restaurants, not popular out here.
00:06:43.000 Yep.
00:06:45.000 No.
00:06:46.000 Why is that?
00:06:47.000 And we're on the water.
00:06:48.000 I mean, we're a coastal fucking state.
00:06:51.000 Like, why aren't we embracing?
00:06:52.000 There's an ocean right there.
00:06:53.000 Why aren't we embracing that?
00:06:55.000 Not only that, you go to that ocean, there's hardly anybody fishing.
00:06:58.000 Yep.
00:06:58.000 That's a weird one.
00:06:59.000 Like, California, like, go to the, like, all up by Santa Monica, like, Malibu, hardly anybody fishing.
00:07:07.000 You might see one or two people.
00:07:08.000 I just looked up best bass fishing out here in California.
00:07:13.000 My brother just bought a place in Delaware.
00:07:17.000 The water's brackish, but it's not enough to keep crabs.
00:07:20.000 But he's pulling out largemouth and sending me pictures.
00:07:23.000 I'm like, good for you, and go fuck yourself, man.
00:07:25.000 He just...
00:07:26.000 I mean, nice, big, fat ones.
00:07:28.000 Out here, they grow them big, man.
00:07:30.000 They say Castaic's good.
00:07:30.000 They do.
00:07:32.000 I've got to get up there and go again.
00:07:32.000 Yep, Castaic.
00:07:34.000 But Pyramid, they said.
00:07:36.000 Yep, Pyramid's beautiful.
00:07:37.000 I feel like Pyramid dried up a little bit.
00:07:39.000 No, no, you can drive by it.
00:07:41.000 You can?
00:07:41.000 Yeah, I drive by it on the way up to Tejon Ranch.
00:07:44.000 It's a beautiful lake.
00:07:45.000 Pyramid's like one of them lost lakes that people don't know about.
00:07:49.000 But yeah, I would live there on the water.
00:07:53.000 And I mean, I miss...
00:07:55.000 My dad was in outdoors.
00:07:56.000 I was talking to you about this at the comedy store.
00:07:58.000 My dad hunted and stuff, but fished.
00:08:00.000 But he really got us into crabbing and not just throwing traps in the water.
00:08:03.000 We used to...
00:08:04.000 We had a trot line.
00:08:05.000 We used to run a trot line.
00:08:06.000 So this is...
00:08:08.000 If I could...
00:08:09.000 My father died when I was 16. I've always thought about this.
00:08:11.000 If I had 24 hours...
00:08:13.000 If my dad could come back here right now for 24 hours, what would I do?
00:08:17.000 And we'd be up on the water crabbing at 5 a.m., sun up, that's right when you're allowed to start dipping, and then home by 11, and then steam them up, have a big-ass fucking crab feast, and probably watch a game.
00:08:30.000 I'd be like, hey, these are the Ravens.
00:08:32.000 They weren't here when you died.
00:08:35.000 Wow.
00:08:35.000 And then play catch into the night.
00:08:38.000 That would be what I would do.
00:08:39.000 Yeah.
00:08:40.000 We had...
00:08:41.000 So he had a friend that lived on the Eastern Shore that was a crab...
00:08:45.000 Crabberman, I guess.
00:08:47.000 But he taught us how to do a homemade one.
00:08:49.000 So we had this...
00:08:50.000 He went and bought this John boat.
00:08:51.000 This old wood John boat.
00:08:53.000 What's a John boat?
00:08:54.000 John boat's a flat bottom boat versus the V bottom.
00:08:57.000 And it was wood, not aluminum.
00:08:59.000 This one was white, painted up.
00:09:01.000 Just a beater, you know.
00:09:02.000 And we had a Johnson...
00:09:06.000 Motor.
00:09:07.000 Yeah.
00:09:08.000 Every time I hear that Alan Jackson song, Drive, he talks about a 75 Johnson with an electric choke.
00:09:14.000 I'm like, oh, he's taking me back.
00:09:17.000 So that was our boat.
00:09:18.000 That was our little rig.
00:09:19.000 It's me and my two brothers and my dad.
00:09:22.000 And what you do to do a homemade one, you take a bucket, 5-gallon bucket, or even just a smaller one, just some quick-crete with an eye hook in it, okay?
00:09:32.000 Tie your rope here to some chain.
00:09:36.000 Other side of the chain, another rope, up to a Clorox bottle.
00:09:39.000 So that's your float on this side, okay?
00:09:42.000 Chain, 50 yards of rope, chain, 50 yards.
00:09:46.000 Same setup I just told you on the other end.
00:09:49.000 So the Clarks bottle is just so you know where you are?
00:09:50.000 That's right.
00:09:51.000 That's your beginning and your end.
00:09:53.000 And then every three feet, and this dude was so ahead of his time.
00:09:57.000 We're talking about...
00:09:59.000 Mid-80s.
00:10:00.000 Mid to late 80s were doing this.
00:10:02.000 He's like, go to the butcher and get bull lips.
00:10:05.000 Bull lips?
00:10:05.000 Yeah, the discarded lips of bulls.
00:10:07.000 Actual bull lips.
00:10:09.000 And that's going to be your bait, because crabs are the biggest scavengers.
00:10:12.000 You can use...
00:10:13.000 Chicken necks are popular.
00:10:14.000 That's an easy one, because you just go to the grocery store.
00:10:16.000 But you've got to go to a fucking butcher to get bull lips.
00:10:18.000 I don't know anybody's got those at the grocery store.
00:10:20.000 Why is it more effective?
00:10:21.000 It's just stank and nasty.
00:10:24.000 Like using chicken liver for catfish?
00:10:28.000 Exactly.
00:10:28.000 But also, it's durable.
00:10:29.000 Because these things are eating it.
00:10:31.000 That's going to be your line for most of the summer.
00:10:33.000 You might have to replace one or two, but that's a durable bait that can withstand crabs tearing it up for three months.
00:10:42.000 Really?
00:10:43.000 Three months?
00:10:44.000 Well, if you're going out over the summer, I'm saying, let's say you go crabbing ten times during the summer, you can probably get away with that whole trot line.
00:10:50.000 Maybe replace one or two that might slip out.
00:10:52.000 Because you freeze it.
00:10:53.000 So...
00:10:55.000 All right.
00:10:55.000 You freeze the lips.
00:10:56.000 Yeah, well, you tie them every three feet.
00:10:58.000 Right.
00:10:59.000 And then that's your trot line.
00:11:00.000 How big is a bull lip?
00:11:02.000 About that big, but fat.
00:11:04.000 Like a couple inches.
00:11:05.000 Well, they cut them.
00:11:06.000 Yeah, they'll slice them.
00:11:06.000 I'm sorry.
00:11:08.000 So they look almost like fat eels, you know, little tiny, or leeches.
00:11:11.000 Let me say leeches.
00:11:12.000 Leeches.
00:11:12.000 Oh, wow.
00:11:14.000 So then you get out, you're allowed sun up.
00:11:16.000 You're only allowed two bushel without a permit, a license.
00:11:20.000 So we're out there.
00:11:21.000 Yeah.
00:11:21.000 Without a commercial license?
00:11:22.000 Two bushel's a lot.
00:11:23.000 What's two bushel like?
00:11:24.000 What does that look like?
00:11:24.000 Two bushel baskets, like apple baskets.
00:11:27.000 But you're getting, that's the thing is, you buy them, you'll get maybe seven, eight dozen.
00:11:32.000 But if you're going out, you're throwing the shit away.
00:11:34.000 You'd pay good money for it at the store because you're getting the best.
00:11:38.000 Big suckers.
00:11:39.000 There is nothing better than pulling it right out of the water and taking it home and eating it.
00:11:44.000 Not getting it from the store, not being, you know, who knows how they stored it.
00:11:49.000 And there's dudes on the side of the road that when they have more, they'll just pull over in their pickup truck, they'll put a fucking cardboard sign down, 20 bucks, bushel, and you just get them and go.
00:11:56.000 Right.
00:11:57.000 That's something I miss.
00:11:58.000 Damn, you make me hungry, dude.
00:12:00.000 I'm dude.
00:12:01.000 These are what kind of blue crabs?
00:12:03.000 Blue crabs, that's right.
00:12:05.000 So you get out, you put a little 2x4 across your oar holes, drop your bolts in there.
00:12:10.000 That's your wood.
00:12:11.000 At the end, you have an empty spool, a rope, okay?
00:12:15.000 And you just stealth.
00:12:15.000 Empty one.
00:12:17.000 Everything we were talking about, those slow-riding Harleys, you stealth.
00:12:20.000 Ride your boat.
00:12:22.000 And you've got to be steady.
00:12:23.000 Someone reaches over, they pull the rope up, put it on the spool, and then your natural progression forward slowly brings the line up and then sets it back down in the water.
00:12:33.000 And you've got to go slow because you're pulling those crabs up from the bottom.
00:12:37.000 They'll stay on the whole time.
00:12:38.000 And then you're just fucking dipping and dumping, dipping and dumping.
00:12:43.000 Wow.
00:12:44.000 And then the tide will come in.
00:12:45.000 You hop out of the boat, swim around a little bit.
00:12:47.000 You get the soft crabs.
00:12:48.000 The ones that are coming closer to shore to molt their shells so they can get bigger.
00:12:52.000 And then those you take.
00:12:53.000 We get about a six, eight of those.
00:12:55.000 Take those home.
00:12:56.000 Crab.
00:12:57.000 You're having a time of your fucking life.
00:12:58.000 Soft shell crabs are fantastic.
00:13:00.000 It's so good.
00:13:01.000 Those are so good with lemon and butter.
00:13:03.000 Yeah!
00:13:04.000 My stomach turned.
00:13:06.000 I love it.
00:13:08.000 That's what I would do.
00:13:09.000 That's exactly where I'd be.
00:13:11.000 Dude, I ran into John Reap last night.
00:13:13.000 You know, Reap is a road warrior, you know, constantly on the road.
00:13:17.000 And we were talking last night.
00:13:19.000 He's like, I'm not sure why I'm still in L.A. He goes, I don't have to live here.
00:13:23.000 He's like, I'm here all the time.
00:13:25.000 I'm doing sets and everything like that.
00:13:26.000 He goes, but I'm on the road, man.
00:13:28.000 And I go, where are you going to move to?
00:13:30.000 And he goes, dude, I'm going to get a fucking house on the lake in North Carolina.
00:13:33.000 I'm like, That doesn't sound amazing.
00:13:36.000 I'm going to keep talking.
00:13:36.000 I'm going to take my pants off.
00:13:37.000 Tell me more.
00:13:39.000 You got woods out there, man?
00:13:42.000 What's it look like?
00:13:43.000 What's it look like in the lake?
00:13:44.000 How clear is the water?
00:13:47.000 That sounds perfect to me.
00:13:48.000 I got a buddy who's got a place in Coeur d'Alene and they sent pictures.
00:13:53.000 Dude, you could be in like 60 feet of water and you take a picture and you see every pebble on the bottom of the water.
00:14:01.000 I mean, it was just crazy.
00:14:02.000 Crystal clear.
00:14:03.000 It's like a big ol' bottle of Fiji.
00:14:06.000 Yeah.
00:14:06.000 You just see everything on the bottom.
00:14:08.000 Big ol' northern pike swimming around in there.
00:14:12.000 Yeah!
00:14:14.000 Idaho, baby!
00:14:15.000 Fishing, crabbing.
00:14:16.000 Yeah, I've been to Coeur d'Alene, Idaho, driving to Montana from Seattle, coming through there.
00:14:20.000 I've never been to Idaho.
00:14:21.000 I'm going for the first time.
00:14:22.000 I'm in Boise this month, right?
00:14:25.000 All right.
00:14:26.000 Soon.
00:14:27.000 Sometime soon.
00:14:28.000 I love that.
00:14:29.000 I just love country.
00:14:30.000 I mean, I was born in the city, but we only lived there until my parents had my younger brother.
00:14:36.000 Almost when we were four, we got out of there.
00:14:39.000 Bigger house, more land and stuff like that.
00:14:42.000 You live in a row home, there's no...
00:14:45.000 I mean, our backyard was the size of this table, you know what I mean?
00:14:49.000 So I grew up out in the county, about 20 miles or so outside the city, and my dad was like, look, I want you to get a good school education, but all of my family was in Baltimore.
00:14:58.000 He's like, that's where you're going to go get your street education.
00:15:00.000 I'm so glad, because I see shit from a mile away.
00:15:04.000 A mile away.
00:15:05.000 Larson's always like, I don't even know how you do it.
00:15:07.000 We were at Denver.
00:15:09.000 We were in Denver at the end of 2016. We were doing our tour.
00:15:13.000 And we like to walk home from the shows at night.
00:15:15.000 We'll smoke a little joint, take a walk, enjoy your city, whatever.
00:15:19.000 And he's like, oh, there's nothing wrong with Denver.
00:15:20.000 I'm like, Denver's got a cops episode, bro.
00:15:22.000 You know, like, settle down.
00:15:23.000 You know what I mean?
00:15:25.000 There's some spots.
00:15:25.000 There's a couple pockets.
00:15:26.000 There's some spots where you can go wrong.
00:15:30.000 We're about to take this walkway underneath this tunnel, and this sketchy fucking white dude sketched out just starts circling us with those dark eyes and this crazy smile, and traffic is hauling ass right close by us, right?
00:15:43.000 And Jay's like, what are we gonna do?
00:15:45.000 And I was like...
00:15:46.000 We're gonna stay over here by this traffic, and if that dude charges us, I'm shoving him right into that fucking traffic.
00:15:51.000 That's exactly what the fuck we're gonna do.
00:15:53.000 I'll bait him over here, just shove him right out there, let those cars kill us.
00:15:56.000 I was ready to go.
00:15:57.000 Damn.
00:15:57.000 Because he said, have a good night.
00:15:59.000 He said shit like, yeah, he was saying shit like that, and I was like...
00:16:02.000 Oh, one of those guys.
00:16:04.000 Yeah.
00:16:04.000 Yeah.
00:16:06.000 What do you do if you kill someone like that?
00:16:07.000 Do you tell anybody?
00:16:09.000 Like, it's just you and Jay.
00:16:10.000 Well, these days, everything's on camera.
00:16:12.000 What cameras?
00:16:13.000 There's an eye in the sky.
00:16:15.000 Eye in the sky.
00:16:16.000 Oh, yeah.
00:16:17.000 I would tell.
00:16:18.000 Yeah, I would tell.
00:16:19.000 That one I would, because I feel like that's self-defense.
00:16:21.000 Even if you're leaning toward me the wrong way, you say something like that.
00:16:24.000 People find out about it.
00:16:25.000 They bring it up at your show.
00:16:26.000 Hey, bro!
00:16:27.000 Kill any people today?
00:16:30.000 Kill any veterans?
00:16:31.000 Shove a guy in the traffic, man?
00:16:33.000 Kill any veterans?
00:16:34.000 You know, the guy's a veteran.
00:16:36.000 That's right.
00:16:36.000 What if he is?
00:16:37.000 Could be PTSD all fucked up.
00:16:39.000 You're right.
00:16:40.000 And then I start a movement.
00:16:41.000 Be careful.
00:16:41.000 Yeah, you're right.
00:16:42.000 Maybe the guy just needs a hug.
00:16:44.000 Problem is you never know.
00:16:45.000 Not when you say shit like that and you circle.
00:16:48.000 And he circled us like four times.
00:16:49.000 He just kept circling.
00:16:50.000 I hadn't thought to ask if he wanted a hug.
00:16:50.000 Yeah.
00:16:53.000 I'm going to try that shit next time.
00:16:54.000 Hey man, you want a hug?
00:16:55.000 Yeah!
00:16:56.000 When you hear I was stabbed to death on the sidewalk in Denver, just know I tried to hug it out.
00:16:56.000 Yeah!
00:17:01.000 Yeah.
00:17:07.000 You ever been outside of Denver, like Evergreen?
00:17:07.000 Yeah.
00:17:10.000 You ever go up there?
00:17:11.000 I've been to...
00:17:12.000 No, I haven't been to Evergreen.
00:17:13.000 I've been to Colorado Springs.
00:17:15.000 Evergreen has...
00:17:16.000 The Northern Pike has a cousin, the muskie.
00:17:19.000 It's their evil cousin.
00:17:21.000 They eat ducks and shit.
00:17:23.000 You ever see a musk-a-lunge?
00:17:24.000 No.
00:17:25.000 Dude.
00:17:25.000 They eat whole ducks?
00:17:26.000 Oh, yeah.
00:17:27.000 They're prehistoric.
00:17:28.000 I'm gonna look that shit up.
00:17:29.000 It's a giant-ass fish, but when I was up there, the week...
00:17:32.000 I was up there, someone on Facebook or something like that, I was like, damn, Evergreen's beautiful.
00:17:38.000 This place is gorgeous.
00:17:39.000 And I just was looking up shit on Evergreen and I saw some guy pulled one through the ice that was fat around like a girl's waist.
00:17:46.000 See if you get that.
00:17:47.000 That's what they look like.
00:17:48.000 Holy shit!
00:17:49.000 It's a big-ass animal.
00:17:51.000 Yeah, that could eat a duck.
00:17:51.000 Holy shit!
00:17:52.000 That guy caught that one in Wisconsin.
00:17:54.000 Look at that one above it.
00:17:54.000 Yeah.
00:17:55.000 Look at that one above it.
00:17:56.000 Look at the size of that fox.
00:17:57.000 And they look like tigers, too.
00:17:58.000 They're stripes.
00:18:00.000 That's a tiger meets a python meets a fish.
00:18:03.000 Yeah, it's an evil fish.
00:18:05.000 They're fucking prehistoric, and they're ruthless, man.
00:18:08.000 I mean, I feel like you'd be fighting that thing like a marlin for like two hours.
00:18:12.000 Yeah, especially if you have light tackle.
00:18:14.000 Do you need to be strapped in a chair for that thing?
00:18:16.000 Look at that!
00:18:16.000 No, but...
00:18:17.000 Four people holding that one.
00:18:18.000 Holy shit!
00:18:20.000 Look at the fucker.
00:18:20.000 You're gonna battle.
00:18:21.000 Oh, that's not a muskie.
00:18:23.000 That doesn't look like a muskie to me.
00:18:24.000 That looks like a gar.
00:18:27.000 What is that?
00:18:28.000 The caption says arapaima.
00:18:30.000 Oh, arapaima.
00:18:31.000 Yeah, that's that gigantic fish that lives in Bolivia, in Ecuador.
00:18:37.000 Arapaima is a fish that lives in the Amazon, I believe, somewhere in the rainforest.
00:18:42.000 And the locals used to catch them all the time.
00:18:46.000 It was like a big thing for their food, but they're worth so much money for Americans to go down and fish for them, and now they protect them.
00:18:56.000 My good friend Steve Rinella has a podcast called Meat Eater.
00:19:00.000 And he went down and filmed episodes.
00:19:03.000 He also has a TV show.
00:19:04.000 And they filmed some episodes of their show in Peru and in Bolivia.
00:19:09.000 And those people, the locals, they make whatever money that they actually do make, they make a big portion of it.
00:19:18.000 Some of them do.
00:19:19.000 Helping people fish for these things.
00:19:21.000 You know, acting as a guide.
00:19:23.000 The size of these things.
00:19:24.000 Look at that.
00:19:25.000 Prehistoric giant animal.
00:19:27.000 And they survive in water when there's a drought, so when the water gets super low, they're surviving in water where literally the water's up to half their face, and they're waddling around.
00:19:39.000 So you could just walk right up to them and catch them.
00:19:42.000 Damn, I wouldn't walk up to anything with teeth like that.
00:19:44.000 Well, they don't have teeth as big as the muskies.
00:19:48.000 If you go back, Jamie, to those pictures, see, there's a bunch of them in water where their upper body is exposed.
00:19:55.000 The water is so shallow.
00:19:55.000 Yeah.
00:19:57.000 And they're so enormous.
00:19:58.000 I mean, these are huge, huge fish.
00:20:00.000 These are dinosaur fish.
00:20:01.000 Yeah.
00:20:02.000 You ever seen a gar?
00:20:03.000 Do you know what a gar looks like?
00:20:04.000 Pull up an alligator gar.
00:20:07.000 Alligator gar, that is a truly prehistoric fish.
00:20:11.000 I don't think it's changed in millions and millions of years.
00:20:15.000 That's an alligator gar.
00:20:17.000 Holy shit!
00:20:18.000 I've never seen that thing in my life.
00:20:20.000 Yeah, these things live in Texas.
00:20:23.000 They're here in the States?
00:20:25.000 Yeah, people fish for them.
00:20:25.000 Yeah.
00:20:27.000 And they get fucking huge.
00:20:29.000 Oh, man.
00:20:30.000 Look, that one right there is clear that it is a head of an alligator in the body of a fish.
00:20:35.000 It's called a what?
00:20:36.000 An alligator gar.
00:20:37.000 And their body is armored.
00:20:40.000 Those scales, you have to cut through them with wire cutters.
00:20:43.000 Holy shit.
00:20:44.000 If you try to cut through that shit with a regular buck knife or something like that, No offense to Buck.
00:20:49.000 You know, like a Swiss Army knife or some shit?
00:20:51.000 It's not good enough, man.
00:20:53.000 Look at the size of that one that guy's holding in the water.
00:20:55.000 Look at the fucking size of that thing.
00:20:58.000 Pull up giant alligator gar.
00:21:01.000 See if you...
00:21:02.000 Because I think they get into the hundreds of pounds.
00:21:07.000 I mean, what are you catching these with?
00:21:09.000 What is bait for this like?
00:21:10.000 That's a good question.
00:21:12.000 Something big.
00:21:14.000 Jesus Christ.
00:21:16.000 Look at the one in the upper right hand corner.
00:21:18.000 Look at his arm and the mouth of that fucker.
00:21:20.000 Jesus Christ!
00:21:22.000 If I saw a glimpse of that pop up out of the water, I'd cut my own line.
00:21:25.000 I'd say, fuck that fish.
00:21:27.000 Look at that thing.
00:21:28.000 It's such a creepy old dinosaur.
00:21:30.000 I mean, it towers over that guy.
00:21:32.000 It's not even close.
00:21:34.000 Eight feet, three inches long.
00:21:36.000 230 pounds.
00:21:37.000 Holy shit!
00:21:39.000 And that's a freshwater animal, too.
00:21:43.000 Oh my god!
00:21:43.000 327!
00:21:44.000 Broken Bow Lake, Oklahoma.
00:21:46.000 God!
00:21:48.000 Look at that thing!
00:21:50.000 That's ridiculous!
00:21:51.000 That is so crazy!
00:21:53.000 It looks like two dolphins stuck together.
00:21:54.000 Look at that thing!
00:21:55.000 Fuck!
00:21:55.000 And you eat them!
00:21:56.000 Look at that!
00:21:56.000 That's edible?
00:21:58.000 Once you cut through that?
00:21:58.000 It tastes good!
00:21:59.000 You cut through all that?
00:22:00.000 They caught that one in Nicaragua.
00:22:01.000 So I guess they're all over the place.
00:22:03.000 They're everywhere.
00:22:04.000 But yeah, you take them, you gotta cut through that scale, that scaly outside with wire cutters, and then once you get through all that, you take the meat, and they really like the smoke in it.
00:22:16.000 They put it on a smoker, that's apparently the best way.
00:22:19.000 Look at this guy's little baby ones and his fish tank.
00:22:22.000 They're a vicious little creature.
00:22:24.000 I mean, that's what blows me away, is they start that small.
00:22:28.000 Yeah.
00:22:29.000 And he's fucking with them right here.
00:22:31.000 Yeah, I think you can have him in a fish tank.
00:22:34.000 Oh, he's feeding him a fish.
00:22:35.000 Oh yeah, that's a whole fish.
00:22:37.000 Yeah.
00:22:38.000 Dinosaurs, bro.
00:22:39.000 Man!
00:22:40.000 Yeah, how long have alligator guards been around?
00:22:42.000 Find out.
00:22:43.000 I think, I'm going to guess.
00:22:44.000 I'm going to guess.
00:22:45.000 30 million years they've been that way.
00:22:47.000 Might be more.
00:22:48.000 30 million years?
00:22:50.000 Well, alligators, I think, they've been around before the dinosaurs.
00:22:53.000 That's a straight dinosaur.
00:22:54.000 Yeah, they've been around, I think, in the same form since before that meteor hit.
00:22:59.000 Looking like that?
00:23:00.000 Yeah, I think so.
00:23:03.000 Might be wrong.
00:23:04.000 First description is 1803. The first description of them?
00:23:09.000 Yeah, but like, how long have they been in that form?
00:23:12.000 I don't know how you find that out.
00:23:13.000 How would you find that out?
00:23:14.000 Eh, whatever.
00:23:16.000 Old as fuck.
00:23:17.000 Dinosaur fish.
00:23:18.000 I mean, I'm used to seeing those people pull out big carp and catfish, but I've never seen anything like that.
00:23:23.000 Yeah, those are big-ass fish.
00:23:25.000 They bow hunt for them, too.
00:23:26.000 That's what I was going to ask you.
00:23:27.000 That one picture looked like it had a bow in it.
00:23:29.000 Yeah.
00:23:30.000 Okay, so they do.
00:23:31.000 Yeah, a lot of people do that.
00:23:32.000 You go in those rivers, and they do it at night, too.
00:23:35.000 They'll have, like, spotlights.
00:23:37.000 So you see the fish in the water.
00:23:38.000 You're shooting something that's, like, six feet away from you.
00:23:40.000 And they use, like, recurve bows that are made designed just for bow fishing.
00:23:45.000 And they have, like, a spool on it.
00:23:46.000 And you shoot into it, and then they just pull it in by hand.
00:23:49.000 Where they have a reel that's attached to it.
00:23:51.000 I was gonna say, how the hell are they pulling that thing in?
00:23:52.000 Forever.
00:23:53.000 300 pounds.
00:23:54.000 Yeah, it takes forever.
00:23:55.000 Yeah, there's some videos of guys catching them.
00:23:57.000 It's fucking crazy when you watch them fight these things.
00:24:00.000 See if you get a video of a guy catching an alligator gar.
00:24:04.000 What kind of test line you gotta have for an alligator gar?
00:24:06.000 Braided.
00:24:07.000 Braided line.
00:24:08.000 They have that, like, heavy-duty braided line.
00:24:10.000 And they use a leader, like a wire leader.
00:24:13.000 Big-ass fucking hooks.
00:24:14.000 Damn.
00:24:15.000 Yeah.
00:24:15.000 Go for up to 40 grand for a...
00:24:18.000 Aquarium in the Japanese black market, it says.
00:24:20.000 40 grand?
00:24:21.000 Those little ones like we just saw?
00:24:22.000 I didn't say the size, it just says that the...
00:24:24.000 40 grand?
00:24:25.000 Yeah.
00:24:26.000 In Japan, huh?
00:24:27.000 Yeah, 15 to as high as 40. Oh, did you say black markets?
00:24:30.000 It's probably illegal to import them.
00:24:32.000 Yeah, there's an article of someone getting arrested for it.
00:24:35.000 Oh, dude.
00:24:36.000 There was, in Maryland, this thing happened.
00:24:38.000 I don't know the full story, but they were called snakeheads.
00:24:42.000 Mm-hmm.
00:24:44.000 And I think somebody put them in the water.
00:24:46.000 Yeah, they're from Africa.
00:24:47.000 And they bred.
00:24:48.000 Whoa!
00:24:49.000 Look at that thing.
00:24:50.000 Yeah, they take over, those snakeheads.
00:24:53.000 That's a real common thing.
00:24:54.000 And sometimes what they do is they'll poison everything in the lake to kill the snakeheads and then start from scratch.
00:24:59.000 And then restock the lake.
00:25:01.000 So that's definitely somebody put that in there.
00:25:03.000 Yeah, yeah, definitely.
00:25:04.000 I think snakeheads, like I said, I think they're from Africa.
00:25:07.000 But they're from somewhere else, for sure.
00:25:10.000 You know what?
00:25:11.000 This guy.
00:25:11.000 Yeah, this guy.
00:25:12.000 He's got a fucking monster on there.
00:25:15.000 How do you get the hook out of that mouth?
00:25:17.000 I mean, maybe it's just too tired by the end and just gives up.
00:25:20.000 Maybe.
00:25:21.000 Look at that.
00:25:21.000 Yeah.
00:25:23.000 But again, they're good to eat.
00:25:25.000 Apparently they taste delicious.
00:25:27.000 Especially when you smoke them.
00:25:29.000 It's got to feel good to fight that thing all day, bring it in and eat it.
00:25:32.000 It's got to feel good.
00:25:32.000 Yeah.
00:25:34.000 I've caught some pretty good sized fish, but nothing like that.
00:25:36.000 I caught a marlin once.
00:25:38.000 Did you?
00:25:38.000 Yeah, it was like 70 pounds.
00:25:41.000 Not a giant one.
00:25:42.000 You know, but it was like five minutes into fishing.
00:25:45.000 Yeah.
00:25:45.000 How long did it take you to bring it in?
00:25:47.000 About a half hour.
00:25:48.000 That's damn good.
00:25:49.000 Yeah.
00:25:50.000 It wasn't that big.
00:25:51.000 70 pounds for Marlins.
00:25:52.000 Not the biggest.
00:25:54.000 The guy on the boat said that they've caught him close to 1,000 pounds.
00:25:58.000 1,000?
00:25:59.000 Yeah, Marlins are giant.
00:26:00.000 Shit.
00:26:01.000 I think.
00:26:02.000 I think they go 1,000 pounds.
00:26:03.000 They're fucking huge.
00:26:05.000 What's a world record Marlin?
00:26:06.000 Find that out.
00:26:09.000 But apparently, like right off of Malibu, Malibu Sport Fishing, it's a great place to go fishing.
00:26:14.000 It's just there's not a lot of people out here that go.
00:26:17.000 I went deep sea fishing, it's a while ago now, off of, I think it might have been out of Huntington.
00:26:24.000 We rented a boat, just like six of us.
00:26:26.000 The world record is 1,376 pounds, caught off of Kona in 1982. Woo!
00:26:33.000 That's a big fish.
00:26:34.000 Damn.
00:26:35.000 20...
00:26:36.000 Damn.
00:26:38.000 Man.
00:26:39.000 I mean, that's a boat.
00:26:39.000 Pff!
00:26:41.000 Yeah, that's a giant fish.
00:26:42.000 And they fly through the air too when you're fighting them.
00:26:45.000 It's pretty fucking cool.
00:26:46.000 Yeah, they get up.
00:26:47.000 Yeah.
00:26:49.000 Yeah, I went deep sea fishing out here.
00:26:51.000 It was like six of us because I didn't want to do the, you know, fucking everybody leaning over your face and sticking you and shit.
00:26:57.000 So we go out here.
00:26:58.000 It's in the morning, you know, before the sun comes up.
00:27:01.000 And we're heading out to meet the sardine boat that's coming back in.
00:27:06.000 That's going to sell bait to everybody.
00:27:08.000 We're getting everything.
00:27:08.000 These guys knew what they were doing.
00:27:10.000 Everything fresh, everything fresh.
00:27:12.000 And just as the sun starts coming up, we hit a pot of dolphins.
00:27:15.000 I mean, baby ones, everything.
00:27:17.000 And I just was like, if I don't catch a fish all fucking day, this is already worth it.
00:27:21.000 I mean, they're just right next to us playing, playing.
00:27:25.000 And if this guy was so good, if we didn't drop our line and pull something up on the first one, he'd pick them up and he'd take us with his depth finder, go find something else.
00:27:34.000 And we'd go by those big boats of everybody reaching across.
00:27:36.000 He'd be like, look at that, guys.
00:27:37.000 That could be you today.
00:27:38.000 We're having beer.
00:27:39.000 We're having lunch.
00:27:40.000 But I didn't know.
00:27:41.000 I just never considered it, but I didn't know a fish could get the bends.
00:27:45.000 It fucked me up when I saw that.
00:27:47.000 Yeah, because the eyes were all...
00:27:47.000 Yeah, when you pulled them up?
00:27:48.000 It looked like it had a tongue sticking out and shit.
00:27:50.000 I'm like, what is this?
00:27:51.000 He's like, you gave it the bends.
00:27:52.000 I'm like, oh, that makes sense.
00:27:53.000 I'm bringing it up, and I guess a fish can get the bends.
00:27:56.000 Best fucking fish.
00:27:58.000 So, guy, you know, on the way back in, he's cleaning it, packs it all up nice for you.
00:28:03.000 It's out here?
00:28:04.000 Where'd you go?
00:28:04.000 Yeah, it was out here.
00:28:05.000 It was off of Huntington, I think, out of Huntington Beach.
00:28:08.000 Oh, okay.
00:28:09.000 You just hit him up, and it's like a dude that owns his own boat, and he's like, six of you come.
00:28:12.000 We'll have plenty of room.
00:28:14.000 You guys can walk to the front and back of the boat, fish wherever you want.
00:28:17.000 You had a choice to either chum for shark or fish, and he's like, It's hours of me chumming.
00:28:22.000 It's kind of boring until we actually start getting at it.
00:28:25.000 So if you want to fish, we'll do this.
00:28:26.000 So we did that.
00:28:28.000 Dude packs it all up so nice for us.
00:28:30.000 I'm all excited.
00:28:31.000 I just moved out here not long.
00:28:33.000 I'm living in this dump in North Hollywood.
00:28:34.000 I put my fish in the fucking freezer and the fridge went dead.
00:28:38.000 I never got a bite of it at all.
00:28:41.000 I came home and stunk so bad.
00:28:43.000 I called my buddy.
00:28:44.000 I'm like, I'm coming over to have some of your fucking fish.
00:28:46.000 My fish is all ruined.
00:28:48.000 Damn.
00:28:49.000 But it was such a good time.
00:28:51.000 You gotta be careful eating sharks today.
00:28:53.000 People get mad at you for sharks.
00:28:54.000 Really?
00:28:55.000 Yeah, it's a new thing.
00:28:56.000 People think that sharks are endangered.
00:28:58.000 They've seen so many things about shark's fin soup that if you pull in a shark, people get angry at you.
00:29:03.000 It used to be people caught sharks and nobody gave a fuck.
00:29:06.000 They saw Jaws, they're like, fuck sharks!
00:29:07.000 But now everyone, we have to save the sharks!
00:29:10.000 Save them!
00:29:11.000 Save the sharks!
00:29:13.000 What are you doing with that shark?
00:29:14.000 Let it go!
00:29:16.000 There was a photo of, was it the governor of New York?
00:29:20.000 Or the mayor of New York City?
00:29:22.000 One of those?
00:29:23.000 I think it was the governor of New York caught a shark, and people were pissed at him.
00:29:27.000 He's like, no, we fucking ate it.
00:29:29.000 We cooked it up, we ate it.
00:29:30.000 Shark tastes good.
00:29:31.000 Like, it's totally illegal.
00:29:33.000 Yeah, I've had it in restaurants.
00:29:34.000 Yeah, it's good.
00:29:35.000 But people are loony with shit.
00:29:38.000 Like, here it is.
00:29:39.000 What is this?
00:29:40.000 Oh, I just saw this!
00:29:41.000 I heard about that.
00:29:42.000 He got his dick bit off.
00:29:44.000 Yes!
00:29:44.000 I just saw this.
00:29:47.000 Swear it dies.
00:29:47.000 Yeah.
00:29:48.000 The shark rips off his penis despite horrified sunbather's frantic battle to save his life on a Brazilian beach.
00:29:56.000 Jesus.
00:29:57.000 And apparently this is a really, really rare attack.
00:30:00.000 They don't get a lot of attacks in Brazil because the water's so warm.
00:30:06.000 But apparently, that shark didn't get the menu.
00:30:09.000 Clearly.
00:30:10.000 I thought I saw they thought it was a tiger shark.
00:30:13.000 That's a big fucking shark.
00:30:14.000 That's a big shark.
00:30:15.000 Well, obviously, he bit his pelvis off right where the dick goes.
00:30:21.000 I can't even.
00:30:22.000 I mean, that's basically like your legs are spread, you're swimming around, and it just gets in between there.
00:30:28.000 Snackity.
00:30:29.000 Snack.
00:30:31.000 Fuck.
00:30:31.000 Snack.
00:30:32.000 Jesus Christ.
00:30:33.000 Fuck that, man.
00:30:34.000 I just...
00:30:36.000 That's what scares the shit out of me about the water, man.
00:30:38.000 You don't even see it coming.
00:30:39.000 At least if you're in the woods, you kind of hear things.
00:30:42.000 Yeah, that's right.
00:30:43.000 You got the hearing.
00:30:44.000 You don't even have that in the water.
00:30:45.000 You get to your gun.
00:30:46.000 You know what's out there.
00:30:49.000 Nothing out there is growling in the ocean.
00:30:51.000 You know what I mean?
00:30:51.000 You ain't hearing shit.
00:30:52.000 You don't hear shit until it's too late.
00:30:54.000 And then this...
00:30:54.000 That's you.
00:30:58.000 And you see red in front of your face.
00:31:00.000 You're like, fuck, this is how it's going to end?
00:31:02.000 All those road gigs I did.
00:31:03.000 To go out like that.
00:31:04.000 All my airline miles.
00:31:07.000 My airline miles are going through your mind.
00:31:09.000 Open mics.
00:31:11.000 To go out like this.
00:31:14.000 You know, I've been thinking about this and talking about this on stage a little bit, but as far as death goes, to go out, the most beautiful way I've ever seen any creature on this little rock in outer space go out, the most original beautiful way is that dove that got killed by a Randy Johnson fastball.
00:31:34.000 It's the best death on planet Earth.
00:31:37.000 What are the odds of that thing was in that place at that time?
00:31:41.000 That's what I'm saying.
00:31:42.000 Do you know how many billions of fucking birds have been on this planet?
00:31:46.000 You know how many died of a Randy Johnson fastball?
00:31:49.000 One.
00:31:49.000 One.
00:31:50.000 You could even narrow it down to how many birds were in that area that day.
00:31:53.000 I don't care.
00:31:54.000 One.
00:31:55.000 And when he hit it, it blew up into its own fireworks.
00:31:59.000 You know what I mean?
00:32:00.000 It went out, kaboom!
00:32:01.000 I was like, oh...
00:32:03.000 Yeah, there it is.
00:32:04.000 It's terrible.
00:32:05.000 Look at this.
00:32:06.000 It fucked him up.
00:32:07.000 Did it?
00:32:08.000 Yeah.
00:32:08.000 And then he ended up winning.
00:32:10.000 They won the World Series.
00:32:11.000 This was in Spring Train, the same year they won the World Series.
00:32:13.000 He won co-MVP. I think he split it with Curt Schilling.
00:32:16.000 And now he's got...
00:32:19.000 I just looked this up recently.
00:32:20.000 He's got a company now, and I think he uses the logo of an upside-down bird and has embraced it.
00:32:25.000 But he was like, that's not funny.
00:32:27.000 I don't think that shit's funny.
00:32:28.000 He threw a 100-mile-an-hour fastball.
00:32:31.000 He was a beast.
00:32:32.000 He was a fucking beast.
00:32:34.000 Now, let me ask you this.
00:32:35.000 What do they do?
00:32:37.000 How do they count that pitch?
00:32:40.000 It's just considered a dead pitch.
00:32:42.000 They said it was a no pitch.
00:32:43.000 The umpire just rolled it off like we're going to reset on that.
00:32:46.000 Wow.
00:32:47.000 Was Randy fucked up?
00:32:48.000 It bothered him.
00:32:49.000 I mean, he talked about it.
00:32:50.000 People were making jokes and shit, and he was like, I don't think that shit's funny.
00:32:55.000 But it's beautiful, even if you don't think it's funny.
00:32:58.000 It is funny.
00:32:58.000 It's fucking beautiful.
00:32:59.000 Well, I wonder what they did with the dove.
00:33:02.000 Because they should cook it, because doves are delicious.
00:33:05.000 I've never.
00:33:05.000 I've had pheasant.
00:33:06.000 I've never had dove.
00:33:08.000 Pheasant's delicious.
00:33:09.000 But dove is a highly...
00:33:09.000 Yeah.
00:33:11.000 People don't know that.
00:33:12.000 It's another one that people get angry if you bring up.
00:33:15.000 Pheasant or dove?
00:33:16.000 Yeah, dove.
00:33:16.000 Because it's a bird of peace?
00:33:17.000 Yeah, but it's a highly prized game bird.
00:33:21.000 Like, people go dove hunting and they'll shoot fuckloads of doves and take them home and cook them.
00:33:25.000 And you tell people that they get so angry.
00:33:27.000 Like, what are you doing?
00:33:28.000 You're cooking doves?
00:33:30.000 Stop it!
00:33:32.000 Stop it!
00:33:33.000 You want some chicken?
00:33:34.000 Yeah, I'll have a McNugget.
00:33:35.000 Yeah.
00:33:36.000 I'll have those chicken prisoners ground up into small cubes.
00:33:42.000 But not the dove.
00:33:43.000 The dove is about peace.
00:33:45.000 That's it.
00:33:46.000 It's a fucking bird.
00:33:47.000 It's just a bird.
00:33:48.000 It has no idea what it is.
00:33:49.000 Like, don't eat that eagle!
00:33:51.000 Okay.
00:33:51.000 Okay, I want to eat the eagle.
00:33:53.000 Like, if eagles get so plentiful, they're like pigeons.
00:33:56.000 Do you think they'll let us eat eagles?
00:33:58.000 No.
00:33:58.000 Never.
00:33:59.000 Never.
00:33:59.000 They're never going to let you touch an eagle.
00:34:01.000 Never.
00:34:01.000 I don't care if they're starting to attack us and lift us off.
00:34:04.000 They're not letting us touch eagles.
00:34:06.000 They were here first.
00:34:08.000 They were here first.
00:34:09.000 The eagle was in North America before the white man.
00:34:13.000 They were here first.
00:34:15.000 Yeah, man.
00:34:16.000 I have friends that live in Alaska.
00:34:18.000 You go up there, dude, and you see eagles everywhere.
00:34:21.000 Just fucking everywhere.
00:34:22.000 They're everywhere.
00:34:23.000 They're like pigeons.
00:34:24.000 It's weird.
00:34:25.000 It is.
00:34:26.000 I had this moment.
00:34:27.000 I didn't even think of it.
00:34:28.000 I'm so glad you said that.
00:34:31.000 My daughter's mother, her family's from Seattle.
00:34:34.000 They live right on Lake Washington.
00:34:36.000 They're good friends.
00:34:37.000 Bill Gates is around the corner.
00:34:39.000 It's beautiful.
00:34:40.000 And they do this, it's called Seafarer Weekend, where all the boats come out.
00:34:44.000 Blue Angels, the whole nine.
00:34:46.000 It's beautiful.
00:34:47.000 And they rehearse for like a couple days before the actual event.
00:34:51.000 So I swim out into the middle.
00:34:53.000 I smoke a joint, you know, that beautiful Pacific Rim weed they have up in Seattle.
00:34:58.000 I smoke a joint and I swim out into the middle of Lake Washington.
00:35:02.000 I'm just out there treading on my back, floating, having a good time.
00:35:05.000 And they had been saying there's this bald eagle that had been circling.
00:35:08.000 It's got a nest, a couple houses up, whatever.
00:35:10.000 I swear to fucking God, this is God's honest truth.
00:35:14.000 There's a boat also full of people who see it too.
00:35:17.000 Two eagles come out together in tandem as a team.
00:35:20.000 One of them starts circling here.
00:35:22.000 This motherfucker nosedives into the water I'm in, grabs a fish and flies off, and I say, oh!
00:35:27.000 Oh my god!
00:35:29.000 And the people in the boat are clapping.
00:35:30.000 I was like, holy shit!
00:35:32.000 It was fucking amazing.
00:35:34.000 Wow.
00:35:35.000 Amazing.
00:35:35.000 Into the water I was in, and boom, out with the fish.
00:35:39.000 How deep did it go in the water?
00:35:40.000 I mean, I have no idea.
00:35:42.000 I thought they just sort of snatched him.
00:35:44.000 He, boom, gone.
00:35:45.000 Wow.
00:35:45.000 Beak in and out.
00:35:47.000 Beak?
00:35:48.000 Oh, maybe it was feet.
00:35:49.000 He might have went feet.
00:35:50.000 He had to go feet.
00:35:51.000 He went feet and boom, lifted it off.
00:35:53.000 But he saw it.
00:35:53.000 You ever see their feet in real life?
00:35:55.000 They're fucking crazy.
00:35:56.000 They're bigger than our hands.
00:35:57.000 Yeah, it's like a giant basketball player hand with claws.
00:36:00.000 Big old claws at the end of it.
00:36:02.000 I've seen those videos online where they lift toddlers up and start to fly away, but they're a little too heavy.
00:36:08.000 I don't think those are real.
00:36:08.000 You don't think so?
00:36:09.000 No, I think that's been proven that those are horseshit.
00:36:11.000 Oh, that's bullshit.
00:36:11.000 What about the goat?
00:36:12.000 I've seen the goat that's dropped one down a mountain.
00:36:15.000 That's real as fuck.
00:36:15.000 That's real as fuck, yeah.
00:36:16.000 That's golden eagles.
00:36:17.000 They're the biggest ones.
00:36:18.000 They're bigger than bald eagles?
00:36:19.000 Yeah.
00:36:19.000 Oh, I didn't know that.
00:36:20.000 They grab them.
00:36:21.000 I think they even have those in California, believe it or not.
00:36:24.000 Golden eagles.
00:36:25.000 I'm learning a lot today, Joe.
00:36:27.000 Yeah, look at this fucker.
00:36:28.000 I told you about this one, this little fox.
00:36:29.000 Oh yeah, this is a great video.
00:36:31.000 That fox has got his little...
00:36:33.000 The eagle comes and snatches him.
00:36:33.000 Boom!
00:36:35.000 He's like, nah bitch, I ain't letting this go.
00:36:36.000 No, no, [...
00:36:38.000 I'm hanging on, motherfucker.
00:36:39.000 I'm hanging on, motherfucker.
00:36:40.000 And the eagle's like, alright bitch, I'll let you go.
00:36:44.000 Yeah, it's funny that that's our national animal.
00:36:47.000 Because it is a ruthless fucking flying cunt.
00:36:50.000 It is.
00:36:51.000 It's so ruthless.
00:36:53.000 It's heartless.
00:36:54.000 You look in their eyes, it's just death.
00:36:56.000 Yeah.
00:36:57.000 Just twitchy fucking death.
00:36:59.000 Big old flying lizard.
00:37:01.000 You do a good bald eagle.
00:37:02.000 With a hatchet for a face.
00:37:04.000 It's got a pair of bolt cutters for a face.
00:37:06.000 I watched this.
00:37:07.000 They had this video online.
00:37:08.000 It was live videos of bald eagles having babies, and you could watch them.
00:37:13.000 They had cameras set up on them and everything.
00:37:15.000 It was fascinating.
00:37:16.000 Wow.
00:37:16.000 It ended terribly, though.
00:37:18.000 They showed you how the mom would sit, and the dad would go out and hunt.
00:37:18.000 Wow.
00:37:22.000 And then he came back, and his shift was like an hour or two, and she was the rest of the time.
00:37:30.000 But he would go out and bring food back.
00:37:32.000 And the poor thing, I think it was the mom going to get food.
00:37:35.000 It got fucking hit by a commercial airline.
00:37:39.000 What?
00:37:39.000 It got hit by a jet on a landing and killed the mom.
00:37:42.000 And so they had to help the birds because the dads don't go, you know, that would have been the end of their ass.
00:37:42.000 Oh, wow.
00:37:49.000 So I think they helped them out.
00:37:51.000 I don't know what they do.
00:37:52.000 They might.
00:37:53.000 They're savage fucking birds.
00:37:55.000 Ravens too.
00:37:55.000 Yeah, that's a savage bird.
00:37:56.000 I learned about ravens being a raven fan.
00:37:58.000 I watched this documentary one time.
00:37:59.000 This fucking lady in England had a raven, a pet raven.
00:38:02.000 You know that British, that little, it's like an upside down U, that car, that weird old car.
00:38:09.000 It's just like a little, like a parenthesis upside down.
00:38:13.000 She had a pet raven that was, I guess they're the most intelligent bird.
00:38:19.000 And this thing, she would keep the keys and ignition and the windows down, and she'd be like, we're gonna go for a ride!
00:38:24.000 And the raven would fly in the car, start the car with its beak, sit on the door, she'd get in, she'd start driving, and then he would just fly right next to the car wherever she went.
00:38:35.000 What?!
00:38:36.000 It was unbelievable.
00:38:37.000 What?
00:38:37.000 Unbelievable.
00:38:38.000 I could not get over it.
00:38:39.000 So she had like a relationship with this raven.
00:38:41.000 100%.
00:38:42.000 And this raven knew and loved it.
00:38:44.000 Like he was like, oh shit, let me go start the car for you.
00:38:46.000 Yeah, he was mad.
00:38:48.000 She would say, let's go for a drive and the raven knew what she was saying.
00:38:52.000 Out...
00:38:53.000 Boom!
00:38:54.000 In the car.
00:38:55.000 Grab that shit with its...
00:38:56.000 They're big too.
00:38:56.000 Because they're big birds.
00:38:57.000 And just turn those little keys and he would wait for her to get in.
00:39:01.000 She'd start driving and he'd just fly right next to it.
00:39:04.000 I don't know.
00:39:04.000 You might look for it, but I watched it.
00:39:06.000 They're so smart.
00:39:07.000 I saw a video of one using a tool to get another tool so that it could get into something.
00:39:12.000 Like they did these tests to find out how intelligent they were to see if they could do problem solving in order to get food.
00:39:20.000 And so it had to use, like, one small stick in order to pull out a larger stick and the larger stick to pull out this thing that got him the food.
00:39:27.000 And it figured it out?
00:39:28.000 And it figured it out quick.
00:39:28.000 Yeah.
00:39:29.000 Like, quicker than my kids would have.
00:39:31.000 I'm watching this raven.
00:39:34.000 I'm like, damn, this thing's smarter than an eight-year-old.
00:39:36.000 It's crazy.
00:39:37.000 It's crazy watching it do it.
00:39:39.000 It's like this little conniving fucker.
00:39:42.000 There's a great video, one of my favorite videos online, of this one raven that taunts these two cats into a fight.
00:39:50.000 It stirs them up into a fight?
00:39:52.000 Yeah, they're both...
00:39:52.000 What is this lady?
00:39:53.000 Look at that.
00:39:54.000 Look how big that thing is.
00:39:55.000 Look at that crazy bitch.
00:39:57.000 Whoever you are, if you stick your penis in that lady, you deserve everything you got coming to you.
00:40:02.000 Everything.
00:40:02.000 What the fuck do you think's in that bag?
00:40:04.000 Oh my god.
00:40:05.000 I don't know.
00:40:07.000 Look at that.
00:40:08.000 Heads.
00:40:10.000 Yeah, heads.
00:40:10.000 Baby heads.
00:40:11.000 This dude over here just chilling like it's nothing.
00:40:14.000 I mean, look at the look on her face.
00:40:16.000 He's just checking his Twitter.
00:40:17.000 He probably doesn't even know she's there.
00:40:19.000 He hasn't even looked over.
00:40:21.000 Nobody's sitting next to that bitch, though.
00:40:23.000 They're like, no, I'll stand.
00:40:25.000 He's screwed all the way over.
00:40:26.000 I mean, everything about her looks weird.
00:40:26.000 Look at her.
00:40:28.000 She's like, when do I kill myself?
00:40:29.000 Not today.
00:40:30.000 Not today.
00:40:31.000 When?
00:40:32.000 She looks pissed.
00:40:33.000 Crazy bitch with metal all over her boots.
00:40:36.000 Sure, you're goth.
00:40:37.000 Hold it.
00:40:37.000 What does it say?
00:40:38.000 Sure, you're goth.
00:40:39.000 But are you dejectedly riding the subway with your raven goth?
00:40:43.000 That's it.
00:40:44.000 That's the bar right there, everybody.
00:40:48.000 A raven.
00:40:49.000 See if you can find the raven provokes cats.
00:40:53.000 It's one of my favorite videos because there's two cats and they're on opposite rooftops, like right next to each other.
00:40:58.000 And they're like, wow, look at each other.
00:41:00.000 This raven comes over and fucks with one of the cats.
00:41:02.000 You want some of this bitch?
00:41:02.000 Like, come on, man.
00:41:03.000 Come on, man.
00:41:04.000 Oh, here it is.
00:41:04.000 Watch this.
00:41:04.000 There it is.
00:41:05.000 So the cat's chilling, and then the raven flies over to where the cat is and starts fucking with him.
00:41:11.000 And after he starts fucking with him, then he flies over to where the other cat is, and he starts fucking with him.
00:41:17.000 So he gets behind him.
00:41:18.000 He's like, hey, bitch.
00:41:19.000 He gets just close enough where the cat's like, motherfucker.
00:41:19.000 What are you doing?
00:41:22.000 He's like, no, no, no.
00:41:23.000 I'm going to fly back over here, and I'm going to fuck with this cat.
00:41:25.000 Oh, I see the other one.
00:41:26.000 But he's doing it on purpose, this little cunt.
00:41:29.000 Like, you could tell.
00:41:30.000 He's like, just getting the cats riled up.
00:41:32.000 Hey, bitch.
00:41:33.000 Look, I'm a bird and I'm right behind you.
00:41:35.000 The cat's like, no, no, no, no.
00:41:35.000 Motherfucker.
00:41:37.000 I'm going to get this other cat.
00:41:38.000 And they're looking at each other and the cat's like, fuck you.
00:41:40.000 And he's like, no, no, no.
00:41:40.000 Fuck you.
00:41:41.000 No, fuck you.
00:41:42.000 Look, he's getting closer to the cat.
00:41:44.000 Why would a raven get close to a cat?
00:41:46.000 I mean, why?
00:41:47.000 Why would any bird?
00:41:48.000 Yeah.
00:41:49.000 The only reason why is because he's fucking with them.
00:41:51.000 He's doing it on purpose.
00:41:52.000 He is.
00:41:52.000 Look at him.
00:41:54.000 And then the cat's like, bitch!
00:41:56.000 And then the raven gets over there.
00:41:58.000 Right next to him.
00:41:59.000 He's like, oh yeah!
00:41:59.000 Oh, now it's happening!
00:42:01.000 Oh, look!
00:42:01.000 They fall off the roof together.
00:42:02.000 And the raven flies down.
00:42:04.000 He's right next to him.
00:42:06.000 Come on, faggots!
00:42:07.000 Oh, my God.
00:42:08.000 Oh, you bitches don't know how to fight.
00:42:09.000 These cats are killing each other.
00:42:11.000 And this raven's like, you dumb hoes.
00:42:13.000 Oh, look!
00:42:14.000 They fall into that hole.
00:42:15.000 Bam!
00:42:16.000 And that raven is just hanging out with them.
00:42:18.000 An animal that can fly, on the ground, vulnerable, watching these two cats fight.
00:42:23.000 Dude, he jumps in!
00:42:24.000 He jumped into the hole.
00:42:28.000 That is a crazy ass bird.
00:42:29.000 That is a crazy fucking bird.
00:42:31.000 But also confident, right?
00:42:32.000 He knows how quick he can move.
00:42:34.000 See, coming in from the side like that.
00:42:36.000 He's tapping at his tail.
00:42:37.000 He's like, no, you're not done yet.
00:42:38.000 That cat is still alive, motherfucker.
00:42:40.000 What kind of a pussy are you?
00:42:42.000 Meow!
00:42:42.000 Meow!
00:42:44.000 It's such a weird, weird animal.
00:42:46.000 Like, once they found out that these things are smart, they're like, look, in comparative tests, when it comes to, like, problem solving, they're as smart or smarter than chimpanzees.
00:42:56.000 Yeah, that's what I hear.
00:42:56.000 Ravens?
00:42:56.000 Yes.
00:42:58.000 They're super smart.
00:42:59.000 Super smart.
00:42:59.000 Like, they don't know how smart...
00:43:01.000 The limitation is that they've got these feet and wings.
00:43:05.000 But if you gave them, like, fingers and had them, like, problem-solve stuff, like, spell their name and shit, and, you know, you give them some food, they might be able to do that.
00:43:13.000 Because chimps can kind of do stuff like that.
00:43:15.000 Here's one.
00:43:16.000 Like, look at this raven.
00:43:18.000 It says it's a crow, but no.
00:43:19.000 Oh, crow, raven, pretty same.
00:43:21.000 What is the difference?
00:43:22.000 Is the raven bigger?
00:43:23.000 Yeah, a lot bigger.
00:43:24.000 Yeah, but they're all smart.
00:43:26.000 So this little fucker realizes that if he puts these rocks in that water, that the water will float up and he'll be able to get that food.
00:43:33.000 So he can't quite reach that food.
00:43:34.000 So he keeps dropping those rocks in there to try to raise the level of the water up.
00:43:39.000 How the fuck does he figure that out, man?
00:43:42.000 Like, look at that.
00:43:43.000 That's crazy.
00:43:44.000 Oh, he's so close.
00:43:46.000 He's like, no, not quite.
00:43:47.000 Almost, almost, almost, almost.
00:43:49.000 Get that big one, get the big one, man.
00:43:49.000 I wish her could just get it.
00:43:52.000 Oh, I got it, bitch.
00:43:55.000 Light versus heavy.
00:43:56.000 All kinds of experiments with them.
00:43:56.000 What is this one?
00:43:58.000 Oh, wow.
00:43:59.000 Look at that.
00:43:59.000 It says it's a casual understanding of water displacement by a crow is the name of the video.
00:44:05.000 Study done by Auckland New Zealand University.
00:44:08.000 Well, it just makes you think, right?
00:44:09.000 We always define intelligence by how much can it manipulate its environment.
00:44:14.000 And where that throws us off is like dolphins and orcas and whales because they're really smart and they can't...
00:44:20.000 They can't do anything.
00:44:21.000 They have flippers, but we know they have these really complex languages, and they have Baltimore accents.
00:44:28.000 Do you know that?
00:44:29.000 What, dolphins?
00:44:30.000 Dolphins and orcas have accents.
00:44:32.000 Do they?
00:44:33.000 Yeah, they can tell.
00:44:34.000 They can't tell what the fuck they're saying, but they can tell where they're from.
00:44:38.000 So it's a regional thing, not like a bottlenose versus a spotted that has a different accent?
00:44:38.000 Really?
00:44:44.000 Yeah, they're from different spots of the world.
00:44:45.000 That's fucking wild.
00:44:46.000 They have different accents.
00:44:47.000 They make different sounds.
00:44:48.000 No shit.
00:44:49.000 I didn't know that.
00:44:50.000 I didn't know that.
00:44:50.000 Yeah.
00:44:51.000 Fuck.
00:44:52.000 We used to fuck with bats when we were little.
00:44:54.000 You ever mess around with bats?
00:44:56.000 No, but I've been in Austin for the largest migration in the Northern Hemisphere.
00:45:02.000 I think Austin has the largest migration.
00:45:05.000 It's the largest daily migration of bats in North America.
00:45:10.000 Daily?
00:45:11.000 Yeah, it's crazy.
00:45:12.000 When it gets dark out, look at all those bats.
00:45:14.000 They fly out from under the bridge.
00:45:17.000 There's a bridge in downtown Austin.
00:45:20.000 Bro, it's crazy.
00:45:21.000 It's crazy.
00:45:22.000 So we were staying in this hotel, and they were telling us, hey, when it gets dark out, that bridge over there, all the bats nest in that bridge, and they come out.
00:45:30.000 So during the daytime, I was with my family.
00:45:33.000 We walked under the bridge, and you hear...
00:45:34.000 That cluster is hanging underneath the bridge?
00:45:39.000 Fuck.
00:45:40.000 You go under the bridge, you hear that shit...
00:45:44.000 Look at that.
00:45:45.000 Dude, it's millions.
00:45:47.000 Millions and millions of fucking bats go flying through the air.
00:45:49.000 It's crazy to watch.
00:45:51.000 What is it about Austin?
00:45:52.000 What does it say there?
00:45:53.000 Pull it back to the beginning.
00:45:55.000 It says, from March through April, millions of mostly female, pregnant Mexican, free-tailed bats migrate north to give birth.
00:46:02.000 The NW Congress Avenue Bridge in downtown Austin, Texas is the spring and summer home to these bats.
00:46:09.000 Each night at sunset, some two million bats venture out from under the bridge to eat an estimated 30,000 pounds of insects.
00:46:17.000 It is the largest urban bat colony in North America.
00:46:22.000 And then you watch The Departure.
00:46:23.000 Play that video so you see this departure.
00:46:25.000 It's fucking bananas, dude.
00:46:28.000 You can't believe how many bats fly out.
00:46:30.000 You're like, what?
00:46:31.000 That they all just picked this one neighborhood.
00:46:34.000 This one bridge, they decide this is our spot, and so they just live in this bridge.
00:46:38.000 So if somebody detonated that bridge...
00:46:40.000 It looks like night.
00:46:40.000 Look at that!
00:46:42.000 It's crazy.
00:46:43.000 I was there for this.
00:46:43.000 Dude, it's crazy.
00:46:45.000 It's wild to watch.
00:46:47.000 You see them like a swarm.
00:46:50.000 Like insects.
00:46:51.000 How are they not running into each other like that and knocking themselves down?
00:46:55.000 That's a good question.
00:46:56.000 Look how tight that is.
00:46:57.000 How do they not headbutt each other?
00:46:58.000 Yeah.
00:46:59.000 People could barely get on the subway together without stepping on toes and shit.
00:47:03.000 These things are flying.
00:47:04.000 Fly.
00:47:05.000 They say that they have some sort of a magnetic sense.
00:47:09.000 They understand, like, there's a frequency that each one of those animals gives off.
00:47:13.000 That's how birds do it.
00:47:14.000 Like, if you see birds, they move together in these crazy patterns.
00:47:18.000 No one understands it totally, but there's a company called Hex, H-E-C-S, H-E-C-S. And they make this thing called a hex suit.
00:47:18.000 Yeah.
00:47:28.000 It's a very controversial thing, but the idea behind it is that there's an electric frequency that all humans and animals, especially predators and game animals, give off.
00:47:40.000 And that this frequency corresponds to the movement of your muscles and that you give off this thing that animals can see.
00:47:49.000 Especially predators.
00:47:50.000 Predators apparently are really good at seeing this.
00:47:52.000 What is this?
00:47:53.000 Holy shit.
00:47:54.000 Where are these back?
00:47:54.000 Locust storm?
00:47:55.000 See, now, I've been through something like that in Maryland.
00:47:58.000 They used to have...
00:47:59.000 Well, they don't.
00:48:00.000 They do.
00:48:00.000 The cicadas would come through.
00:48:02.000 And it would look like this.
00:48:04.000 And they would litter the streets and the sidewalks.
00:48:07.000 Well, locusts are just grasshoppers under certain conditions, right?
00:48:12.000 How does that work?
00:48:14.000 Grasshoppers under certain conditions...
00:48:17.000 Become locusts?
00:48:18.000 Yeah.
00:48:18.000 I forget what the conditions are.
00:48:20.000 I mean, in five seconds, he just filled that net up.
00:48:22.000 Yeah, what are you gonna do with them, though?
00:48:24.000 I don't know.
00:48:24.000 You gonna eat them?
00:48:25.000 You gonna eat them?
00:48:26.000 I don't know if I'd eat that.
00:48:27.000 I'm down to try different shit.
00:48:29.000 Yes, I've had cricket.
00:48:30.000 Chocolate covered, though.
00:48:31.000 I had them in Mexico.
00:48:32.000 We stayed at a resort once in Mexico, and you go into the hotel room, and, you know, they have, like, a little table there, and they have, like, a little table full of peanuts with, like, some hot...
00:48:45.000 Like hot chili powder on them and stuff like that.
00:48:48.000 And then they had these crickets in a bowl.
00:48:50.000 And my kid's like, eww!
00:48:52.000 Why do they have bugs?
00:48:54.000 Eww!
00:48:55.000 I'm like, you're supposed to eat them.
00:48:56.000 They're like, no way.
00:48:57.000 You're not eating bugs.
00:48:59.000 I'm like, I'm telling you.
00:49:00.000 They eat these things.
00:49:02.000 And so I picked them up and I started chewing them.
00:49:05.000 I'm like, they're not bad.
00:49:06.000 They're almost like a soy sauce tasting.
00:49:08.000 I was going to say, how are they done?
00:49:10.000 It looks like they fried them.
00:49:12.000 Like they fried these crickets.
00:49:14.000 But they're so common that they had a bowl of them in the room.
00:49:18.000 You know, and you eat them.
00:49:21.000 You know what?
00:49:21.000 I would try that.
00:49:22.000 I would try that.
00:49:23.000 Dude, they're not bad.
00:49:23.000 You have to.
00:49:24.000 I would try that.
00:49:25.000 I'm not scared of that.
00:49:26.000 They say that that might be one of the futures of when the weather changes, grasshoppers turn...
00:49:31.000 Oh, it's a weather issue.
00:49:33.000 The thing I clicked on this from says that just by swarming, it makes them become a locust.
00:49:38.000 That's it?
00:49:39.000 I don't know if that's accurate, but that's what the article is saying.
00:49:42.000 Well, it's the New York Times, unless you listen to Donald Trump, which makes it fake news.
00:49:48.000 Generally speaking, I like to trust the New York Times.
00:49:51.000 Yeah, we used to fuck with...
00:49:52.000 So we had a street light in front of our house, and my brother and I would go out, and my dad was like, you can go out and play catch as long as you're in front of that light and I can see you.
00:50:01.000 So we'd just go start playing catch, throw a tennis ball around.
00:50:04.000 One night, we're just throwing it high up toward the light so that you could see it coming down.
00:50:08.000 And this bat just starts swooping at the ball the whole time.
00:50:12.000 And I was like, oh, this is great.
00:50:14.000 So I throw a line drive at my brother's fucking face.
00:50:17.000 That fucking bat was...
00:50:18.000 He's like, it went through my hair!
00:50:20.000 It went right through his hair.
00:50:21.000 Then the game became, you gotta be a fucking man and stand there and take that shit at your face.
00:50:27.000 And that bat would come down and it would touch you.
00:50:29.000 Did it think the ball was another bat?
00:50:33.000 Maybe all the sonar coming after that.
00:50:36.000 I don't know if it thought it was a big, or realized it was too big of a bug when it got there.
00:50:42.000 But it would come right by your fucking face.
00:50:45.000 Yeah, it probably thought it was another bat or maybe something to eat.
00:50:48.000 Yeah.
00:50:49.000 Wow.
00:50:51.000 So anyway, I was saying this hex suit, they wear these things to disrupt...
00:50:55.000 They're big with people that go spearfishing, and they wear this suit, and you can literally get right next to a fish with this suit on.
00:51:04.000 It's real weird.
00:51:05.000 Like, whatever...
00:51:07.000 Whatever this frequency that human bodies and just bodies in general give off, this suit masks it.
00:51:13.000 And they've been able to show that with these devices that measure electrical frequencies, like you could rub your arm over shit.
00:51:21.000 Yeah, look at these alligators.
00:51:23.000 They just, for whatever reason, don't fuck with this dude while he's wearing that.
00:51:27.000 That's a crocodile, too.
00:51:28.000 I wouldn't do that.
00:51:29.000 So, even though you're moving and there's...
00:51:31.000 Yeah.
00:51:31.000 They don't know what you are.
00:51:33.000 And they just don't bother to fuck with you?
00:51:34.000 I don't understand it.
00:51:35.000 That's crazy.
00:51:35.000 Who figured that out?
00:51:37.000 I don't know.
00:51:38.000 Scientists?
00:51:38.000 Super smart dudes?
00:51:40.000 But when, apparently, dudes wear these suits when they go spearfishing, they're way more successful.
00:51:46.000 They love these things.
00:51:47.000 Because you can get right up next to these fish and fuck them up.
00:51:51.000 But hunters use them too now.
00:51:53.000 They're becoming popular with hunters.
00:51:55.000 Oh, so they don't work just in the water?
00:51:57.000 No, I don't know, man.
00:51:58.000 I've worn them before.
00:51:59.000 I don't know if they're working or not working.
00:52:01.000 It's hard to tell.
00:52:02.000 Because what animals go by is not one thing.
00:52:05.000 They go by a bunch of different things.
00:52:07.000 The big one is smell.
00:52:08.000 If they smell you, you're fucked.
00:52:10.000 Like the reason why camo works is camo breaks up your outline.
00:52:13.000 Like if a deer saw you, they'd be like, oh, that's a fucking dude.
00:52:18.000 Yeah.
00:52:18.000 I know what that is.
00:52:19.000 I see the arms.
00:52:19.000 I see the legs.
00:52:20.000 That's a dude.
00:52:21.000 But if you were wearing camo with all the broken, like my shorts, like these shorts, it's a broken up pattern, right?
00:52:27.000 So that broken up pattern confuses them.
00:52:29.000 They're like, what is that?
00:52:30.000 I don't know what I'm seeing.
00:52:31.000 And if you just stand still and you're wearing camo and you don't move, a deer will look at you and go...
00:52:36.000 That ain't shit.
00:52:37.000 And they'll go back to eating.
00:52:38.000 Unless you're close.
00:52:39.000 But if they smell you, they're like, fuck this.
00:52:43.000 Especially that real tree stuff I see these days looks so authentic.
00:52:47.000 Yeah, that's not the stuff that works the best, though.
00:52:50.000 It's interesting.
00:52:51.000 No, authentic is not what works the best.
00:52:53.000 What works the best is like...
00:52:54.000 There's a bunch of different companies that make really good camo, but the secret behind it is just breaking up the outline.
00:53:01.000 It doesn't have to look like anything.
00:53:03.000 It's just a matter of breaking it up with blotches and spots.
00:53:07.000 There's a couple companies, like Under Armour actually has a really good pattern.
00:53:10.000 It's called Ridge Reaper.
00:53:11.000 Ridge Reaper Baron, and that pattern is really good.
00:53:14.000 Sitka has probably the best pattern.
00:53:16.000 They have a pattern called Sub-Alpine, Open Country Sub-Alpine, I think it's called.
00:53:22.000 But it's just a bunch of dots and splotches.
00:53:26.000 The whole idea is just to break up your outline.
00:53:29.000 So when someone looks at you, or an animal looks at you, they don't know what the fuck they're seeing.
00:53:33.000 So the idea is that this hex suit, somehow or another, it blocks out your electrical output, whatever that frequency is that these animals can see.
00:53:44.000 It's not proven.
00:53:45.000 It's real weird stuff.
00:53:47.000 It's like we know that there's something that gives off...
00:53:50.000 Like these hex companies, the one company, they have this machine.
00:53:54.000 They'll show you.
00:53:54.000 You wave your hand over this thing without a hex suit on, and it registers this electrical frequency.
00:54:00.000 And then you wave it with the hex suit on, and it registers nothing.
00:54:03.000 But if they smell you, you're still fucked.
00:54:06.000 But anyway, these birds...
00:54:08.000 Somehow or another, they're all giving off a frequency.
00:54:11.000 So when they're doing that crazy wave, and they're flying, right?
00:54:16.000 So they're beating their wings together like a bunch of fucking helicopters, but they're not touching each other.
00:54:20.000 They're just floating back and forth somehow, and somehow it works.
00:54:25.000 It's got to be inches apart.
00:54:27.000 Inches.
00:54:28.000 Yeah, inches.
00:54:29.000 I mean, there's these huge migrations of birds that are flying through the air, and they move like fish in the ocean.
00:54:36.000 The same sort of thing, right?
00:54:37.000 And they say that's how fish do it, too.
00:54:39.000 That they have this frequency that they're all giving off.
00:54:42.000 And somehow or another, they all know how to move in tandem.
00:54:46.000 Like, no one's fucked up.
00:54:47.000 Oh, are we going left or are we going right?
00:54:50.000 They're not banging into each other.
00:54:52.000 There's no straggler, either.
00:54:53.000 Like, one guy off to the fucking side.
00:54:55.000 It's weird.
00:54:56.000 It is weird.
00:54:57.000 I don't understand it, but people are trying to capitalize on whatever that is or hide, mask, whatever frequency we give off.
00:55:04.000 So the idea is that we don't really totally understand animal senses.
00:55:08.000 They've done a bunch of tests on deer.
00:55:10.000 They know they're colorblind.
00:55:12.000 They don't see necessarily greens, but they see shapes.
00:55:18.000 Their real concern is movement and outline.
00:55:21.000 The outline of a person is very recognizable.
00:55:23.000 Movement is very recognizable.
00:55:25.000 When they smell pretty good, but they don't smell nearly as good as something.
00:55:29.000 Like, bear is apparently one of the best at using their nose.
00:55:34.000 Bears smell anything.
00:55:35.000 Like, bears can smell a dead animal miles away.
00:55:39.000 Miles?
00:55:39.000 Miles away.
00:55:41.000 That would make me nervous if I saw a dead animal and I was in bear country.
00:55:45.000 I'd be like, we're getting the fuck out of here.
00:55:47.000 Get the fuck out of here.
00:55:50.000 You're talking about smell, so this made me think of this.
00:55:53.000 In Baltimore, all the street parking is parallel parking.
00:55:57.000 There's no assigned parking spaces and there's no driveway or anything.
00:56:00.000 And my brother pulls out in front of this guy's space one day and the guy's like, that's my space.
00:56:04.000 He's like, it's not anybody's space.
00:56:05.000 It's a fucking public street.
00:56:06.000 I can park here.
00:56:07.000 He's like, that's my space and it's in front of my house.
00:56:08.000 He's like, dude, come on.
00:56:11.000 So that night, assuming that guy, breaks into his car, busts his windows out, takes shit out of his car or whatever, and he's like, okay.
00:56:19.000 And he had some deer piss from hunting, and he fucking busted that guy's window, dumped it all in his vents and everything.
00:56:29.000 I was like, I got cars.
00:56:31.000 So they're taking turns breaking each other's cars?
00:56:34.000 Well, it ended after the deer piss went in there.
00:56:36.000 That was the last of that shit, because that stuff...
00:56:39.000 Do you ever use that?
00:56:40.000 You don't ever put it on you?
00:56:40.000 No.
00:56:42.000 Yeah, that stuff's supposed to be...
00:56:42.000 No.
00:56:44.000 The smell of it, just sitting on the sidewalk, I was like...
00:56:44.000 I couldn't...
00:56:47.000 Good God.
00:56:48.000 Yeah, I would think a deer would be like, why is that doe pissing all over herself, that crazy bitch?
00:56:53.000 I want to know if people really use it.
00:56:55.000 Yeah, they do.
00:56:56.000 They use cow estrus.
00:56:58.000 They have like a smell of a cow, cow bull, like a, not a cow bull, cow elk.
00:57:06.000 They'll put it on trees and shit, try to drag a bull over.
00:57:09.000 Because when bulls are in the rut and the females are in heat when they're coming into estrus and the males want to breed them, apparently they just smell it and they go fucking bananas.
00:57:20.000 And some people use that shit.
00:57:22.000 They'll put it on trees and stuff.
00:57:23.000 So that's what I wanted to ask you.
00:57:25.000 Is that more to mask our smell or is it more to attract, they're attracted to that smell?
00:57:29.000 I think they're attracting them, yeah.
00:57:30.000 The way they mask our smell, like their sense of smell is so powerful that it's almost impossible to mask it unless you use ozone.
00:57:39.000 And so what a lot of guys do is there's a company called Ozonics and what they do is they'll literally hang a unit above their head and it blows ozone gas all over your body and it collects Like, your scent gets combined with the ozone,
00:57:56.000 and that hits the deer, and the deer doesn't know what the fuck you are.
00:58:01.000 It's like, what is that smell?
00:58:03.000 Have you ever smelled ozone?
00:58:04.000 Do you know what ozone smells like?
00:58:05.000 No, I have no idea.
00:58:06.000 I'll turn on my tank, my flotation tank, and you can smell it, because they use ozone to clean the water, to purify everything.
00:58:14.000 It's got a very distinct smell.
00:58:16.000 And when you turn the tank filtration system on, you're not supposed to go in it for a half an hour and the ozone dissipates.
00:58:22.000 But it's got a very distinct smell.
00:58:24.000 And apparently that smell just overwhelms the smell of human body.
00:58:29.000 So when guys sit on a tree stand, like I've hunted with my friend John Dudley in Iowa, and he uses this Ozonics unit above us.
00:58:38.000 He sets it up.
00:58:39.000 On the tree above us and turns it on.
00:58:41.000 And it blows ozone over you while you're sitting in a tree.
00:58:44.000 So even if a deer is downwind of you, they might not bolt.
00:58:48.000 Because the smell is confusing to them.
00:58:50.000 Like, what is that fucking weird smell?
00:58:53.000 Like, they don't know what it is.
00:58:54.000 Right.
00:58:54.000 Like, if they smell you, they're like, oh, that's a dude.
00:58:56.000 Gotta go.
00:58:57.000 I'm out.
00:58:57.000 Yeah, like, just a whiff.
00:58:58.000 The wind will change.
00:58:59.000 Like, you know, most of the times the wind's blowing east, right?
00:59:02.000 But then a little bit of west.
00:59:03.000 A little bit of west.
00:59:04.000 The fuck?
00:59:04.000 They're like...
00:59:06.000 They don't take any chances.
00:59:07.000 But if they smell that ozone stuff, they're like, what?
00:59:07.000 They just run.
00:59:10.000 What is this?
00:59:11.000 The fuck is this?
00:59:16.000 I don't know.
00:59:17.000 They just run.
00:59:19.000 Take a chance.
00:59:21.000 Sometimes they just stand there.
00:59:23.000 When they're horny, they don't know what they're doing.
00:59:25.000 That's why people like to hunt them in the rut.
00:59:28.000 Because when they're in the rut, they come out during the day.
00:59:31.000 Like a lot of times the older animals, they become nocturnal.
00:59:34.000 They just decide it's too risky during the day.
00:59:37.000 I'll just fuck around all night and sleep during the day.
00:59:37.000 People are up.
00:59:41.000 That's when I was always scared, because we would have, there's deer running all over Maryland.
00:59:46.000 When you're driving those country roads at night, I mean, three, four of them will come out crossing and shit, and you're like, holy fuck, and they're monster, you know, they're monster.
00:59:54.000 So we had deer whistles.
00:59:56.000 I don't know if they ever really work, to be honest with you.
00:59:58.000 Those work, yeah, you put them in the front of your car.
01:00:00.000 Yeah, and then you don't hear it, but apparently they hear it, and it's enough to, but I had them on, they would still come right up to the edge of the road and shit.
01:00:07.000 Yeah, when the rut's going on, they get confused.
01:00:10.000 They're just horny and crazy.
01:00:13.000 They'll run right out in traffic and get smashed by cars.
01:00:16.000 Deers that wouldn't hide all day long during any other time of the year.
01:00:20.000 They just smell that deer pussy.
01:00:22.000 They're just like us, goddamn.
01:00:25.000 I mean, can you imagine?
01:00:26.000 Their nose is a thousand times stronger than ours or whatever the fuck it is.
01:00:30.000 The smell of that pussy must be so tempting.
01:00:33.000 Running out in traffic in the middle of the fucking thing for it.
01:00:36.000 Yeah.
01:00:38.000 You know and you only got a couple of weeks to fuck.
01:00:42.000 That's right.
01:00:43.000 You know it's not like they fuck all year like us.
01:00:46.000 They got a couple weeks to get their fuck on.
01:00:48.000 And then the rest of the year is solo.
01:00:51.000 Nope.
01:00:52.000 How weird is it?
01:00:53.000 Like, what kind of a strange system did nature come up with where it makes the girls horny and able to give birth only, like, for a couple of, like, six weeks?
01:01:04.000 Sometimes they go into estrus again.
01:01:06.000 Like, they have, like, a second estrus.
01:01:09.000 And then they all figure it out.
01:01:11.000 Yeah.
01:01:12.000 That's amazing.
01:01:13.000 Smells.
01:01:14.000 Yeah, smells.
01:01:16.000 I need to start smelling more.
01:01:18.000 Fucking thinking less.
01:01:19.000 And apparently as good as they smell, a bear smells hundreds of times stronger than them.
01:01:23.000 They say a bear smells hundreds of times better than a bloodhound does.
01:01:26.000 That blows my mind.
01:01:28.000 Miles blows my mind.
01:01:28.000 It's crazy.
01:01:29.000 Miles.
01:01:30.000 Miles away.
01:01:31.000 When I drive from here and I hit two miles, I'm going to be like, God damn.
01:01:35.000 Yeah.
01:01:35.000 That's a long fucking way to smell something.
01:01:38.000 What they say is really scary is if you're in places where bears know that people hunt, they hear a gunshot and they think it's a dinner bell.
01:01:46.000 So like if you shoot a deer, you only have a certain amount of time to get that fucking deer out of there before a bear shows up.
01:01:53.000 Especially like Kodiak Island.
01:01:55.000 Kodiak Island is famous for two things.
01:01:57.000 It's famous for gigantic brown bears, some of the biggest bears in the world.
01:02:02.000 It's also famous for Sitka black-tailed deer.
01:02:04.000 So these Sitka deer are really delicious deer and people go over there to hunt them.
01:02:09.000 But when that gunfire, the bear hears that and they go straight towards the sound of that gunfire because they know there's going to be a gut pile there soon.
01:02:18.000 So even if you miss, there's probably one coming your way.
01:02:22.000 Probably.
01:02:22.000 No shit.
01:02:23.000 So you have to dress it out there, too, or you just got to get it and haul it out?
01:02:27.000 Well, if you gut it and leave the gut pile and take the meat away, the bear's probably going to go to the guts, and you're probably going to be safe.
01:02:36.000 Damn.
01:02:36.000 Keyword, probably.
01:02:38.000 Probably, yeah.
01:02:38.000 I'm not fucking around with a Kodiak bear.
01:02:40.000 My friend Steve Rinello, who I was talking about before, they got attacked last year.
01:02:44.000 On a Fognak Island in Alaska, they got attacked by a gigantic brown bear.
01:02:49.000 They said it was like 11 feet long.
01:02:51.000 What?
01:02:51.000 It was huge.
01:02:53.000 One of the guys, it ran into camp.
01:02:56.000 What happened was they had shot an elk.
01:02:59.000 When you shoot an elk, it's an enormous animal.
01:03:01.000 You can't really take it out all in one trip.
01:03:03.000 You've got to make several trips.
01:03:05.000 So they hung some of it up in a tree.
01:03:07.000 And then they went back to get the rest of it.
01:03:10.000 They took what they could carry.
01:03:12.000 They went back to get the rest of it.
01:03:14.000 When they went back to get the rest of it, a bear had already claimed it.
01:03:17.000 And they didn't know the bear claimed it because the bear took off and it heard them coming.
01:03:20.000 And then the bear, when they were hanging around the meat, the bear was like, fuck this, and decided to just make a run at them.
01:03:26.000 But didn't know how many there were because it's such thick brush.
01:03:30.000 And they said it happened so quickly.
01:03:32.000 Everybody had this, well, if a bear comes, I'm going to do this.
01:03:35.000 People have this idea.
01:03:37.000 It happened so fast.
01:03:39.000 I'll send you the podcast because it's fascinating.
01:03:41.000 It's a two-part podcast.
01:03:43.000 They did it over two parts where they talked about the experience.
01:03:46.000 Jesus.
01:03:47.000 Nobody got hurt, but one guy wound up actually riding the bear's back.
01:03:52.000 That's a legend.
01:03:53.000 The bear plowed into them, and one guy hit the bear with trekking sticks, like mountain trekking sticks, hit it in the head, and the other guy got knocked over and was literally on the bear's back for several steps as it was running down the hill.
01:04:06.000 And then he fell off of it, and the bear took off.
01:04:09.000 That thing had momentum downhill coming at them?
01:04:12.000 No, man.
01:04:12.000 I've seen those videos.
01:04:14.000 They said it was so big.
01:04:15.000 My friends were there.
01:04:16.000 Four of my friends were there.
01:04:17.000 They were saying that they could see the teeth 10, 11 inches from their face, gnashing as the thing ran by.
01:04:24.000 Oh!
01:04:26.000 11 foot long.
01:04:27.000 I mean, you're talking, what, 1,800 pounds?
01:04:30.000 So while they're gone on round trip one, this bear had already claimed it, got scared, heard them come, and then saw, oh, you're taking my shit, and was like, fuck that, and came back to defend it.
01:04:39.000 Yeah, so it didn't come by to chase him off.
01:04:42.000 It came to fight.
01:04:43.000 It just didn't know how many there were, and there was like seven or eight guys, I think.
01:04:47.000 At least, I think, one, two, three, four...
01:04:50.000 At least five guys.
01:04:51.000 And so I think it just got confusing.
01:04:53.000 There were so many people.
01:04:54.000 It didn't know where to go or what to do, and then it got hit in the head with the trekking sticks, and then, you know, just fucking crazy.
01:04:59.000 Dude's riding back.
01:05:00.000 Yeah, but like one of my friends had a, my friend Remi had a pistol just for that, just for bears, but he had set his pack down, and he, like in his mind, had thought, well, if a bear comes, I'll be able to get to my pack.
01:05:11.000 Fuck that.
01:05:12.000 He's like, it happened so fast.
01:05:13.000 There's no getting to your pack.
01:05:14.000 There's no nothing.
01:05:15.000 And these are guys that know what the fuck they're doing.
01:05:17.000 Yeah, they're professionals.
01:05:18.000 With plans in place.
01:05:20.000 They're out in the woods hundreds of days a year.
01:05:22.000 We're so weak.
01:05:25.000 We're like just water balloons filled with blood.
01:05:30.000 We're like eggs.
01:05:31.000 Yeah, we're just jello, man.
01:05:34.000 We're nothing.
01:05:35.000 When you watch them fight each other and they're biting each other's faces and shaking each other back and forth, and it still doesn't hurt them.
01:05:43.000 We're so fleshy.
01:05:46.000 It's good we live here.
01:05:47.000 It's good we live in Los Angeles.
01:05:49.000 No, not in the fucking mountains.
01:05:52.000 No.
01:05:53.000 Maryland has...
01:05:54.000 You guys have mountain lions, right?
01:05:56.000 We have mountain lions, but I saw...
01:05:58.000 I went hiking at Fryman here one time.
01:06:01.000 I hiked for a while when I lived in the valley.
01:06:03.000 I hiked there a lot, and I would see a lot of rattlesnakes.
01:06:06.000 I always saw a lot of rattlesnakes.
01:06:08.000 But one night...
01:06:10.000 I don't know.
01:06:10.000 It's probably fall.
01:06:11.000 It's right around 6, 630, and the sun's starting to set, and I'm just trying to get through, and I've got my headphones on.
01:06:19.000 I'm coming down this hill, and this fucking bobcat comes off the hill, and it...
01:06:25.000 I mean, this thing was the size of a big dog, stubby little tail.
01:06:28.000 It stopped, right?
01:06:30.000 I mean, I was like, huh, you know, and it just stopped and it fucking looked at me.
01:06:34.000 And the first and only thought that went through my head, because I had nothing.
01:06:37.000 I was like, maybe I can take my headphones and choke you.
01:06:37.000 What do I got to do?
01:06:41.000 I was straggling.
01:06:41.000 I had nothing.
01:06:42.000 A little apple headphones.
01:06:45.000 And it looked at me like, it's your lucky fucking day.
01:06:47.000 And it ran over the next ridge and was gone.
01:06:49.000 I mean, I was like, holy shit.
01:06:52.000 Yeah, I've seen one of those with its babies.
01:06:54.000 Yeah, they're cool looking.
01:06:56.000 They're bigger than I thought.
01:06:56.000 They're big.
01:06:57.000 They're way bigger than I thought.
01:06:59.000 When I saw it, I saw it, I thought it was a mountain lion.
01:07:02.000 I was like, look at that thing.
01:07:02.000 Yeah.
01:07:03.000 And they're like, no, it's a bobcat.
01:07:05.000 I was like, what?
01:07:06.000 Yeah, that thing was big.
01:07:08.000 Yeah, they're like 50 pounds.
01:07:09.000 Yeah, I thought, you know, maybe between like a little bigger than a cat.
01:07:12.000 Nah, this thing was like waste.
01:07:13.000 It was like up to my waist.
01:07:14.000 Yeah, they'll fuck you up.
01:07:15.000 And I was like, oh, I'm dead.
01:07:16.000 I'm fucking dead.
01:07:17.000 Have you ever heard a lynx howl?
01:07:20.000 Only because I... That video?
01:07:21.000 That's the only reason I've ever heard it, yeah.
01:07:23.000 That video's crazy.
01:07:24.000 It is crazy.
01:07:24.000 Right up in their face like...
01:07:26.000 It doesn't seem real.
01:07:27.000 No, it doesn't seem real at all.
01:07:28.000 Well, there was one that got into some guy's house, and the guy made a video of the thing in his house howling, and I was playing it for people like, oh, that's like sound effects, right?
01:07:36.000 I go, no, no, no, that's what it's really making.
01:07:38.000 It's the noise it's really making.
01:07:39.000 Like, what?
01:07:40.000 It's in his kitchen, and it's going...
01:07:42.000 I just saw this thing, yeah.
01:07:49.000 Put it up.
01:07:51.000 Look at this.
01:07:53.000 Oh, that's the one...
01:07:58.000 That sounds like kids.
01:08:00.000 It sounds like little kids pretending to be a monster.
01:08:03.000 This is so freaking cool.
01:08:06.000 That is so cool.
01:08:07.000 Who runs into this?
01:08:11.000 They get real closer to the two.
01:08:13.000 They don't quite do anything.
01:08:15.000 Like, neither one of them is gangster.
01:08:16.000 They're both posers.
01:08:18.000 Look how thick the hips and legs are.
01:08:20.000 Ooh, a little headbutt.
01:08:21.000 And one of them almost swatted him.
01:08:23.000 He was like, bitch, don't make me slap you.
01:08:25.000 They're not making me slap you.
01:08:27.000 Yeah, that's a big animal.
01:08:29.000 Lynx are weird.
01:08:30.000 That's a weird animal.
01:08:31.000 It looks like a dog.
01:08:32.000 And one of these was in a dude's kitchen?
01:08:33.000 See if you can find the one where Lynx is in the guy's kitchen.
01:08:33.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:08:37.000 Because this fucking guy is standing over it.
01:08:39.000 It's only like five feet away from him.
01:08:40.000 And it's like...
01:08:42.000 I would think that's a battle cry, you know?
01:08:44.000 I'm getting the fuck out of my own kitchen.
01:08:46.000 Or it's sick.
01:08:47.000 Here it is, here it is.
01:08:48.000 Look at this.
01:09:04.000 She's trying to scare it up.
01:09:07.000 What the fuck is your problem?
01:09:09.000 What the fuck is your problem?
01:09:16.000 We find this guy's phone later.
01:09:19.000 Covered in blood.
01:09:20.000 Play back his last video.
01:09:28.000 I'm scared of snakes.
01:09:28.000 Exactly.
01:09:29.000 My brother gave me a fear of fucking snakes.
01:09:31.000 I have a twin brother.
01:09:33.000 He's four minutes older than me, but we look nothing like tall and skinny.
01:09:37.000 Yeah.
01:09:37.000 Really?
01:09:38.000 That's weird.
01:09:38.000 It's weird.
01:09:39.000 But there are times when we speak, even now, and I'm like, oh, it's his voice came out of me.
01:09:45.000 It's weird.
01:09:46.000 That's the weird thing.
01:09:49.000 Like, if he gets hurt, do you feel it?
01:09:51.000 Nah, I don't feel any.
01:09:52.000 We used to fuck with, like, if there was a girl in high school, and I'd be like, I don't, just talk to her.
01:09:57.000 I want to play video games.
01:09:58.000 He would set dates up and shit, you know, like, oh, you're going to the movies.
01:10:01.000 I'm like, goddammit!
01:10:05.000 But he was Mr. Outdoors.
01:10:07.000 He would play with snakes.
01:10:09.000 He'd catch black snakes all the time.
01:10:11.000 We'd put them in an aquarium.
01:10:13.000 We'd go to the pet store and get little feed mice.
01:10:16.000 And they won't eat it when it's dead.
01:10:18.000 Sometimes they'd be dead.
01:10:19.000 So my brother would reach in and just dance the tail.
01:10:21.000 And these snakes would bite him in the fucking hand.
01:10:23.000 And I'd be like, Jesus Christ!
01:10:24.000 And he'd just keep looking at the snake and rub his hand.
01:10:28.000 And I was like, you're fucking nuts, dude.
01:10:31.000 So one day, it's my turn to cut the grass, right?
01:10:34.000 We had the same snapper riding mower from Can't Buy Me Love, okay?
01:10:39.000 That snapper with a bag catcher on the back, okay?
01:10:42.000 I'm in the backyard going around.
01:10:45.000 Three doors up's our buddy Jeff lives there, and I see him and my brother.
01:10:49.000 There's a pine tree, and I see him with a broom, and they're standing away from it, but they're swatting with a trash can.
01:10:54.000 I'm like, oh, they got a big-ass, there's a big-ass black snake in there, you know?
01:10:58.000 So I've got my headphones on.
01:10:59.000 I'm just going around.
01:11:00.000 I look up on our deck, and my brother's standing there holding this fucking snake.
01:11:04.000 He's acting like he's going to throw it.
01:11:05.000 I'm like, don't fucking do it, Dick.
01:11:07.000 Don't fucking do it.
01:11:09.000 I got my shirt off.
01:11:10.000 It's hot-ass summer.
01:11:11.000 I go back to minding my business.
01:11:13.000 I come back around a few times later, and I just feel something slap the back of my neck.
01:11:20.000 And I fucking look over.
01:11:21.000 This snake is looking at me right here.
01:11:22.000 I scream like a bitch.
01:11:24.000 I grabbed it.
01:11:25.000 I threw it on the fucking ground.
01:11:26.000 My brother's like, don't!
01:11:27.000 I put that blade down.
01:11:28.000 And I dumped that bag out.
01:11:30.000 I said, there's your fucking snake, you son of a bitch.
01:11:33.000 He would do shit.
01:11:34.000 He'd catch little ones.
01:11:35.000 I can't remember.
01:11:36.000 Are they garter?
01:11:37.000 Gardener snakes, maybe?
01:11:38.000 Just the tiny ones.
01:11:40.000 I think they're called garter, right?
01:11:41.000 I don't remember.
01:11:43.000 There's garden snakes and garter snakes.
01:11:45.000 These are those little slivery guys, you know?
01:11:50.000 I'll never forget this.
01:11:51.000 We had a Volkswagen Bug.
01:11:52.000 He and I are sitting in the back.
01:11:53.000 My little brother's up front.
01:11:54.000 My mom's taking him into the doctor.
01:11:56.000 She's like, you two can stay in the car and wait here if you want.
01:11:58.000 I'm like, alright.
01:11:59.000 We're driving for like 10 minutes.
01:12:01.000 My brother reaches in his fucking pocket and he pulls out one of those snakes.
01:12:05.000 I'm like, what the fuck are you doing?
01:12:06.000 How long has that been in there?
01:12:07.000 He's like, oh, I picked it up on the way.
01:12:09.000 I'm like, what is your fucking problem, dude?
01:12:11.000 I was always scared around him with that shit.
01:12:13.000 Maybe he should have been in like a snake doctor or something.
01:12:15.000 He thinks he is.
01:12:16.000 He thinks he's like that.
01:12:17.000 He should go to Florida and try to help those people in the Everglades.
01:12:22.000 You know, they're hiring people to just shoot at them now.
01:12:25.000 They're hiring hunters.
01:12:26.000 Snakes.
01:12:26.000 Yeah, they have so many pythons.
01:12:27.000 All these crazy, dirty white people who wanted to own a python, and their mother's like, you get that thing out of the house!
01:12:34.000 They just open up the back door, chuck it in the yard, and it slithers off into the swamps.
01:12:39.000 I mean, Florida's all filled with swamps, and the pythons thrive there.
01:12:42.000 Come on!
01:12:43.000 I didn't know that!
01:12:44.000 You didn't know that?
01:12:44.000 No!
01:12:45.000 Oh, dude, there's a giant problem with pythons in Florida.
01:12:47.000 Because of man again.
01:12:48.000 Look at this.
01:12:49.000 Easy money not for python hunters who grapple with Everglades giants for $8.10 an hour.
01:12:54.000 Fucking, they're so big, dude, they found one of them that had eaten an alligator, and the alligator was popping out of its body.
01:13:01.000 They were both dead.
01:13:02.000 They were both dead floating in the water, but this fucking eight-foot alligator was inside this python's body.
01:13:09.000 Jesus Christ.
01:13:10.000 Christ.
01:13:11.000 A 144-pound reptile up on a levy.
01:13:11.000 Look at this one.
01:13:16.000 They dispatched it with a 9mm pistol shot to the head.
01:13:19.000 Inside, they found 70 or 80 eggs.
01:13:22.000 See, there's a plague of them in the Everglades.
01:13:25.000 There's so many of them.
01:13:26.000 It says it.
01:13:26.000 A plague.
01:13:27.000 Yeah.
01:13:28.000 More than 800 caught this year.
01:13:30.000 This year?
01:13:31.000 Yep.
01:13:32.000 Six months into the year?
01:13:33.000 Yeah.
01:13:33.000 And what may be the most successful program ever aimed at the huge constrictors that are killing the Everglades' mammals, wading birds, and alligators.
01:13:41.000 And alligators, motherfucker!
01:13:44.000 Alligators!
01:13:44.000 Yeah, they have python catching contests, they track them with dogs, they're doing everything they can.
01:13:49.000 But, you know, they're not putting a dent in them.
01:13:52.000 There's so many of them out there, man.
01:13:54.000 I used to watch the Gator one where they'd shoot them and...
01:13:57.000 Oh yeah, swamp people?
01:13:59.000 Swamp people, yeah.
01:14:00.000 Because at first they were extinct and then they dialed that back and they're like, oh fuck, now they're overrunning shit, go ahead and get them.
01:14:06.000 Well, I used to live in Florida when they were going extinct.
01:14:09.000 What is this one?
01:14:10.000 It was a deer that was inside.
01:14:12.000 A python.
01:14:12.000 Look at that.
01:14:13.000 What?
01:14:14.000 Look at the size of that deer.
01:14:15.000 That's a big deer and it's inside this python.
01:14:18.000 Fuck.
01:14:22.000 Jesus Christ.
01:14:24.000 That's funny.
01:14:25.000 We have people who don't have jobs, who have day jobs, people have night jobs, some people have computer jobs, technical jobs, and they're all hunters, herpetologists, military veterans.
01:14:36.000 All these people are doing this, going to the Everglades, trying to solve this problem, they're saying.
01:14:42.000 Adventure and a desire to defend the Everglades.
01:14:44.000 Look at that!
01:14:46.000 What thrills me is the fight, the fight that the snake gives you.
01:14:50.000 That's my drama right now, man.
01:14:52.000 Maybe one day you won't win.
01:14:53.000 You're definitely, you're not going to bat a thousand at that job.
01:14:57.000 I mean, they're capable of killing people for sure.
01:14:59.000 When they get that big where they can swallow a deer.
01:15:01.000 A deer?
01:15:02.000 That's a small deer.
01:15:04.000 I mean, it's not big like a...
01:15:05.000 A giant mule deer or anything.
01:15:06.000 Look at that one that they caught.
01:15:07.000 What in the fuck, man?
01:15:09.000 I mean, that's five grown men a good distance apart, and there's still some bows in that thing.
01:15:13.000 It's 132 pounds, 17 feet long.
01:15:18.000 Wow.
01:15:20.000 Jesus Christ, that is a big fucking animal.
01:15:23.000 That is huge.
01:15:24.000 And this is all just from assholes.
01:15:26.000 It's just assholes.
01:15:28.000 Just chucking them into the woods and going, I'm done with it.
01:15:31.000 The thing bit me in the hand.
01:15:32.000 I can't.
01:15:33.000 My mouth is open.
01:15:34.000 I can't get over that.
01:15:35.000 That is now a plague because of that.
01:15:37.000 Oh, yeah.
01:15:37.000 I mean, if you think they killed 800 of them this year and they're not even putting a dent in it, how many are out there?
01:15:45.000 Yeah.
01:15:45.000 You know what else they found out there?
01:15:47.000 Nile crocodiles.
01:15:49.000 They have a shoot to kill order on Nile crocodiles.
01:15:51.000 So some assfuck dickwad let Nile crocodiles loose and they think there might be breeding populations of Nile crocodiles.
01:16:00.000 Those 28 foot ones that eat wildebeests and shit.
01:16:05.000 With teeth like the size of our hands and shit?
01:16:07.000 Two days ago, this guy was doing a baptism.
01:16:11.000 And this dude in Ethiopia.
01:16:14.000 And as he's in the middle of doing the baptism, a fucking crocodile lunges up out of the water and snatches him in front of his whole congregation.
01:16:21.000 And brought him under?
01:16:22.000 Yeah.
01:16:23.000 Crocodile jumps from Ethiopian Lake and kills pastor during mass baptism.
01:16:27.000 Holy shit!
01:16:29.000 God's got all the plans for me, children.
01:16:32.000 Yeah, no shit.
01:16:32.000 God's got all the plans.
01:16:35.000 Fuck, man.
01:16:36.000 Man.
01:16:38.000 I worked in a junkyard growing up.
01:16:40.000 My friend's dad had a junkyard out in Mount Airy.
01:16:43.000 It was called Mount Airy Auto Wrecking.
01:16:44.000 And there was one day where...
01:16:47.000 So we would have our own yard car.
01:16:50.000 We're driving.
01:16:51.000 We were in charge.
01:16:52.000 We were younger kids.
01:16:53.000 So he would be like, you're going to go get all the aluminum.
01:16:56.000 You're going to basically clean up a junkyard of all the loose aluminum.
01:16:59.000 We're going to put it in these bins.
01:17:00.000 We'll melt it down.
01:17:01.000 Then they sell it off in, like, these little trays, you know.
01:17:05.000 And one day I hear this.
01:17:06.000 We had a bunch of feral cats, but we didn't have any dogs.
01:17:10.000 And one day I hear this fucking, like, growling.
01:17:12.000 I hear this.
01:17:14.000 And I look over, and there's a fucking rabid raccoon.
01:17:17.000 It had one solid white eye, one solid blue eye, and it's bouncing just up and down.
01:17:23.000 It's not charging us, and we're like, what the fuck?
01:17:25.000 We start throwing rocks and shit at it, and then we're like, maybe it's protecting babies.
01:17:30.000 We don't know what the fuck this thing's doing.
01:17:31.000 So we go down to tell his dad, and this customer's down there.
01:17:36.000 This is out in the country.
01:17:37.000 This customer's down there.
01:17:38.000 He's like, I got a pistol in my fucking car.
01:17:40.000 He brings this thing up.
01:17:41.000 Two to the dome to put it down.
01:17:44.000 Two.
01:17:44.000 Two?
01:17:44.000 Took one to the head and it just was like...
01:17:46.000 It's laying down, growling, and it took two to put this rabid raccoon fucking down.
01:17:51.000 And it was rabid?
01:17:52.000 They gotta test it?
01:17:53.000 It was definitely, yes.
01:17:53.000 Definitely rad to have the, whatever, animal control come out and take it away and shit.
01:17:58.000 Where does rabies come from?
01:17:59.000 Like, there has to be like...
01:18:00.000 I always thought that about, like, VD. Who's patient zero?
01:18:04.000 What dirty motherfuckers out there giving everybody syphilis?
01:18:07.000 What did you do, dude?
01:18:09.000 What did you have to do to get gonorrhea?
01:18:12.000 Who's the first person that got gonorrhea?
01:18:14.000 Because it's crazy that there's diseases that kill people.
01:18:17.000 Like Al Capone, he got killed by syphilis.
01:18:19.000 I know that, yes.
01:18:20.000 And you get killed by some shit that you get from fucking.
01:18:23.000 Yep.
01:18:23.000 Let him eat him alive, they let him do it.
01:18:25.000 Is that what they did?
01:18:26.000 That's what I've read before.
01:18:27.000 Like, they couldn't get him on anything, so they got him on tax evasion, and then when he developed syphilis, they didn't treat it.
01:18:32.000 Oh, really?
01:18:33.000 Yeah, and then he lost his mind.
01:18:34.000 He just ate his brain away.
01:18:35.000 He went crazy.
01:18:36.000 Oh, Jesus.
01:18:38.000 Al Capone, bro.
01:18:39.000 Did you know that syphilis is the reason why all those dudes in the olden days had powdered wigs?
01:18:44.000 No.
01:18:45.000 Yeah, man.
01:18:45.000 Man, I should come here for my education, goddammit.
01:18:48.000 You get goofy-ass education.
01:18:50.000 You miss out on a lot of critical shit.
01:18:51.000 I'm gonna be repeating this, man.
01:18:54.000 Well, I do it.
01:18:55.000 I repeat it wrong all the time.
01:18:57.000 We've covered this several times, so I'll just be really brief.
01:19:00.000 There was these royals from, was it France?
01:19:04.000 Something like that?
01:19:05.000 Jamie will come up with the story.
01:19:07.000 But they got syphilis, and to cover their syphilis, they started wearing wigs.
01:19:11.000 And syphilis was running rampant.
01:19:14.000 So all these rich people started wearing wigs.
01:19:16.000 These big-ass wigs.
01:19:18.000 Can I ask you?
01:19:19.000 Was it eating their skin?
01:19:20.000 Was it like a psoriasis and shit that was noticeable?
01:19:23.000 Yeah, the hair falls out.
01:19:25.000 A big, patchy, fucked up.
01:19:26.000 That's the only reason they did it?
01:19:27.000 Yeah.
01:19:28.000 I thought it was all to be majestic.
01:19:30.000 No, it became that.
01:19:31.000 See, it became that, and the bigger the wig, the more money you had.
01:19:35.000 Like, if you had a lot of money, you'd get a big, crazy wig.
01:19:37.000 That's why we call rich people big wigs.
01:19:40.000 Wow!
01:19:41.000 Isn't that crazy?
01:19:42.000 Look at that.
01:19:43.000 Why do people wear powdered wigs like those guys?
01:19:45.000 And it all came out of these two brothers, I think they were?
01:19:49.000 For nearly two centuries, powdered wigs called perukes were all the rage.
01:19:54.000 The chic hair pieces would have become popular.
01:19:59.000 Would have never become popular, however, if it hadn't been for a venereal disease, a pair of self-conscious kings, and poor hair hygiene.
01:20:06.000 The Perukes story begins, like many others, with syphilis.
01:20:09.000 By 1580, the STD had become one of the worst epidemics to strike Europe since the Black Plague.
01:20:16.000 And according to William Close, an infinite multitude of syphilis patients clogged London's hospitals and more filtered each day.
01:20:23.000 Without antibiotics, victims faced the full brunt of the disease, open sores, nasty rashes, blindness, dementia, and patchy hair loss.
01:20:31.000 Baldness swept the land.
01:20:33.000 And so, these dudes, Louis XIV was only 17 when his mop started thinning.
01:20:40.000 Worried about baldness would hurt his reputation.
01:20:42.000 Louis hired 48 wig makers to save his image.
01:20:45.000 Five years later, the King of England, Louis' cousin, Charles II, did the same thing when his hair started to go gray.
01:20:51.000 Both men likely had syphilis.
01:20:54.000 Cordier's, is that how you say that?
01:20:56.000 I would go with that.
01:20:57.000 And other aristocrats immediately copied the two kings.
01:21:00.000 They sported wigs, and the style trickled down to the upper middle class.
01:21:04.000 Europe's newest fad was born.
01:21:06.000 Isn't that crazy?
01:21:06.000 That is crazy.
01:21:07.000 See where it says there?
01:21:08.000 The bill for large, elaborate perukes ballooned to as high as 800 shillings.
01:21:15.000 The word bigwig was coined to describe snobs who could afford big, poofy perukes.
01:21:22.000 Hmm.
01:21:23.000 So the average was 25, and they're paying upwards of 800. Yeah, look at these dudes.
01:21:27.000 They had, like, crazy wigs.
01:21:29.000 Like, who are those wigs?
01:21:30.000 No shit.
01:21:30.000 All because of an STD. Yeah, they all were bald with fucking sores and shit everywhere.
01:21:35.000 Looks like one on his face.
01:21:37.000 Yeah, what's that on his face?
01:21:38.000 Probably got a hole in his face.
01:21:41.000 Losing his teeth.
01:21:42.000 Still fucking.
01:21:44.000 Somebody was still fucking him, yeah.
01:21:47.000 Getting a semi-hard dick.
01:21:48.000 God!
01:21:49.000 Shooting their poison into people.
01:21:50.000 What an education here.
01:21:52.000 Oh, imagine life before antibiotics.
01:21:55.000 I can't imagine life before, like, the 80s.
01:22:00.000 I mean, I don't know how people did shit.
01:22:03.000 Like, when we were having a baby, I thought about, like, how did people do this in the covered wagon?
01:22:08.000 Like, just going there.
01:22:09.000 Yeah.
01:22:09.000 They still do it in bathtubs, these assholes.
01:22:11.000 Rice fields.
01:22:12.000 I was reading these things about these ladies that'll go out in rice fields and stand and they'll hold and they'll...
01:22:17.000 Drop it into the water?
01:22:18.000 I don't know if it goes in water, but they just natural and squat and then they'll just have it and have someone there to catch it instead.
01:22:25.000 Like, fuck!
01:22:26.000 I was like, nah.
01:22:27.000 I think in Baltimore, Mercy, it's called Mercy Hospital, they were the first, I'm pretty sure they pioneered the underwater birth, like you can go get in a tub there, a big tub, and then they say, I guess that's the most natural way to have a baby, I guess it makes sense if you're in a placenta and you're just basically transferring into another one before you come out instead of just boom out,
01:22:47.000 but they say it's, I don't know how it's natural, I mean, how can it be natural if water's not attached to it?
01:22:53.000 How does a kid breathe?
01:22:55.000 Well, I think, I don't know, they pull out quick and bring up.
01:22:58.000 Hmm.
01:22:59.000 Yeah.
01:23:00.000 And it's in like a tank and she sits in there and then they just deliver it in this big, big water tank.
01:23:06.000 Like, how's a kid breathing when they're in the womb?
01:23:09.000 I never thought about that.
01:23:10.000 I've literally never thought about that.
01:23:12.000 I know they're attached to the umbilical cord.
01:23:15.000 They're in there.
01:23:17.000 They're all curdled up in a fetal position.
01:23:19.000 How do they get in there?
01:23:20.000 Is it going through the cord?
01:23:22.000 I mean, I think all life comes through the belly button.
01:23:24.000 Right, the food comes through the cord.
01:23:26.000 So do they not have to breathe while they're still attached to the cord?
01:23:29.000 How does that work?
01:23:30.000 Here it goes.
01:23:31.000 The fetus does not actually breathe in the womb.
01:23:33.000 It's a fucking monster!
01:23:34.000 The mother breathes for the fetus and essential oxygen is passed to the fetus through the umbilical cord.
01:23:41.000 Yeah.
01:23:41.000 The fetus does not make breathing-like movements, though.
01:23:44.000 These begin at nine weeks of pregnancy and allow the fetus to practice this breathing movement.
01:23:50.000 Fuck, man.
01:23:53.000 You know what's really weird?
01:23:54.000 You take a baby, you chuck them in the water, they immediately hold their breath.
01:23:57.000 They know exactly what to do.
01:23:58.000 But monkeys don't.
01:23:59.000 Throw a monkey in the water, they fucking panic, they start breathing water, and they die.
01:24:03.000 Really?
01:24:03.000 Chimps, too.
01:24:04.000 I can't get over the education.
01:24:08.000 I'll be telling everybody, you know chinchillas, they'll drown in the water, you know?
01:24:12.000 I tried.
01:24:13.000 Joe Rogan told me.
01:24:14.000 I did a hundred of them.
01:24:15.000 They all drowned.
01:24:16.000 A hundred drowned.
01:24:16.000 This is my study.
01:24:18.000 It's peer-reviewed.
01:24:20.000 Yeah, there's something about people.
01:24:22.000 We know how to hold our breath even when we're babies.
01:24:24.000 If somebody takes a look like that Nirvana picture, remember?
01:24:27.000 That was a real baby swimming.
01:24:29.000 Kids love it.
01:24:30.000 As long as you do it to them at an early age and you're there to catch them, oh, this is horrible.
01:24:33.000 Don't watch this.
01:24:35.000 Don't show me this.
01:24:36.000 I don't want to see this fucking baptism.
01:24:38.000 They're slamming this baby into the water.
01:24:40.000 What race is that?
01:24:43.000 Greek Orthodox.
01:24:44.000 Yeah, fuck that.
01:24:46.000 That's crazy shit.
01:24:47.000 I think Segura sent me that.
01:24:49.000 I'm like, what is that?
01:24:50.000 I'm looking for babies in a pool and that light just popped up.
01:24:52.000 Let's end all this baby stuff.
01:24:55.000 That's a horrible thing that they do.
01:24:57.000 They smash that kid into the water and pick him up by their arms and smash him down in the water again.
01:25:01.000 They do it a bunch of times.
01:25:03.000 Then they cut his dick.
01:25:05.000 Yeah.
01:25:05.000 Your dick don't look pretty, bro.
01:25:06.000 Nope.
01:25:07.000 Cut it up, bro.
01:25:08.000 One day old dick.
01:25:09.000 Cut it up, man.
01:25:11.000 Slice.
01:25:11.000 Slice and dice.
01:25:12.000 I was glad I didn't have a boy.
01:25:15.000 Do you have two girls?
01:25:16.000 All girls.
01:25:17.000 All girls.
01:25:18.000 Three girls?
01:25:18.000 Three girls.
01:25:19.000 If you had a boy, would you get them circumcised?
01:25:21.000 No.
01:25:22.000 See, I was glad I didn't have to make that decision.
01:25:24.000 Stick mutilation.
01:25:24.000 Yes.
01:25:25.000 Stick mutilation.
01:25:26.000 I am.
01:25:26.000 I grew up Catholic.
01:25:28.000 I am, but I was like, would I do that to my own son?
01:25:30.000 No way.
01:25:30.000 I don't know.
01:25:31.000 No way.
01:25:31.000 Dude, sometimes they lose their dick.
01:25:33.000 Sometimes it gets infected.
01:25:35.000 It happens every year.
01:25:36.000 Really?
01:25:36.000 Yes, every year.
01:25:37.000 Just a shoddy little circumcision job?
01:25:39.000 Every year, kids get infections from circumcisions and they lose their dick.
01:25:44.000 Every year, also, kids, this has happened multiple times, kids have been circumcised by a traditional, you know, what is it, a mohel with a rabbi, and the rabbis had herpes, and they've transferred it because the rabbi has to suck the kid's dick to stop the bleeding.
01:25:59.000 No!
01:25:59.000 Yes.
01:26:00.000 They still do that?
01:26:01.000 Yes.
01:26:01.000 Yes.
01:26:02.000 They still do that and they still defend it.
01:26:03.000 It's a traditional way of doing it.
01:26:06.000 And you're giving it herpes?
01:26:07.000 People have given the babies herpes and the kids have died from it.
01:26:11.000 Jesus.
01:26:13.000 Yeah.
01:26:14.000 They've died from it.
01:26:17.000 Yeah, I didn't know that still was going down.
01:26:18.000 Dude, they suck the baby penis.
01:26:20.000 And there's a fucking video of this one rabbi explaining the necessity of doing this because it's the part of the ancient book.
01:26:28.000 It's in the Torah, wherever it is.
01:26:29.000 Robert Baker estimates 229 deaths per year from circumcision in the United States.
01:26:34.000 Bollinger estimates that approximately 119 infant boys die from circumcision related each year in the U.S. 1.3% of all male neonatal deaths from all causes are from circumcision.
01:26:50.000 There are several case reports of death in the medical literature.
01:26:57.000 Yeah.
01:26:58.000 People die all the time from circumcision.
01:27:00.000 Just understand that, folks.
01:27:02.000 This is an elected, unnecessary surgery that you're doing to a fucking baby, and there's no medical reason to do it.
01:27:10.000 AIDS prevents AIDS. People say stupid shit like that.
01:27:13.000 The fuck it does.
01:27:14.000 The fuck it does.
01:27:15.000 It doesn't make any sense.
01:27:17.000 There's a lot of people that are doing it to justify the fact they've done it forever and try to come up with a little hygiene.
01:27:21.000 Wash your dick, you dirty bitch.
01:27:23.000 Soap and water.
01:27:24.000 Wash your dick.
01:27:25.000 I watched a guy at the gym one time.
01:27:27.000 It's an old dude.
01:27:29.000 Stood underneath the hand dryers.
01:27:31.000 With his balls?
01:27:31.000 Yeah, he rolled his circumcised dick down to dry them.
01:27:35.000 I never used that hand dryer again.
01:27:37.000 I was like, there's a good move, dude.
01:27:41.000 That dude doesn't have any shame at all.
01:27:44.000 I don't know if those numbers are accurate that you just read or that we just pulled up.
01:27:48.000 I found another article talking about it, and this is an Australian link to talking about the same information.
01:27:52.000 It says that according to the study that not all deaths that might be circumcision-related are officially recorded.
01:28:02.000 So there might be more.
01:28:04.000 So they hide it.
01:28:04.000 They call it something else.
01:28:06.000 They say it's an infection or something like that.
01:28:08.000 Yeah, man.
01:28:09.000 It's unnecessary.
01:28:10.000 It's barbaric.
01:28:11.000 They're going to look back on this 100 years, 500 years from now, and they're going to make fun of it the same way we make fun of powder wigs.
01:28:17.000 But it's even worse, because you're doing it to babies.
01:28:19.000 The babies can't eat, they don't even have anything to say.
01:28:21.000 By the time they're adult, they're like, what happened to my dick exactly?
01:28:24.000 Like, oh, we just thought it was ugly.
01:28:26.000 We had you cut.
01:28:27.000 Cut?
01:28:28.000 Yeah.
01:28:29.000 I mean, I would, you should, I mean, you should be, that's a decision a person should be able to make.
01:28:33.000 Because I feel like every guy at the age where they were old enough to make that would be like, fuck, I'm not doing that.
01:28:38.000 Yeah.
01:28:38.000 I'm not doing that.
01:28:39.000 Did you know that some guys are trying to grow their foreskin back?
01:28:45.000 Yeah, this is what they're doing.
01:28:46.000 They're taking the skin that they have, the regular skin around their dick, and they're stretching it out.
01:28:51.000 And there's all these devices.
01:28:53.000 What, like the lip pull and the ear pull and they're trying to get it to go back?
01:28:56.000 So they're taking like the base of their dick, where it was cut, and they're pulling that skin up a little bit every day.
01:29:05.000 I'm not kidding, man.
01:29:07.000 There's like devices that they have.
01:29:10.000 Do it again.
01:29:14.000 You pullin' your pants?
01:29:15.000 I'm not pullin' my foreskin out.
01:29:18.000 So they believe by continually pullin' it'll what, reattach and grow?
01:29:23.000 Well, it looks weird.
01:29:24.000 It looks like a turtleneck.
01:29:25.000 It never really looks like, you know, it's not a single layer of skin at the top.
01:29:29.000 You got a double layer now.
01:29:31.000 You got a rolled layer.
01:29:32.000 You do have skin at the top, but it's like, you know, it's like a blanket.
01:29:38.000 It's not like a sheet.
01:29:40.000 Right.
01:29:40.000 Right.
01:29:42.000 I can't get over people.
01:29:44.000 I guess people do everything.
01:29:45.000 Why am I shocked?
01:29:46.000 There's a whole community of people that are trying to grow their foreskin back that are really angry and they feel all this pain and emotional pain from the fact they cut their dick cut when they were a little baby and they had no say in it.
01:29:59.000 And apparently it makes your dick less sensitive when you do that.
01:30:02.000 And your dick is naturally self-lubricating, the head of your dick is.
01:30:06.000 And as soon as they cut the foreskin off, then it dries out.
01:30:10.000 And we're used to dry dick.
01:30:11.000 Get that dry dick.
01:30:13.000 I've got plenty of that for you.
01:30:14.000 But apparently, regular dicks, if you don't cut them, they're moist.
01:30:18.000 The tip, like you pull that foreskin back, and that tip has got like a layer of mucus on it.
01:30:23.000 Ah, which is why you've got to clean it and keep it all clean.
01:30:25.000 That makes sense.
01:30:27.000 Jesus Christ, that was...
01:30:29.000 Man.
01:30:30.000 Yeah, it's a weird practice, man.
01:30:31.000 And it doesn't make any sense.
01:30:33.000 The fact that it's still around in this day and age with all that we know and all the risks that we know about where kids actually do get sick and die from it.
01:30:42.000 That's a real thing.
01:30:43.000 It happens every year.
01:30:45.000 Who knows how many people are out there that have fucked up dicks that are just because some asshole ancient tradition that we passed on.
01:30:53.000 Oh, you're just supposed to do it.
01:30:55.000 Yeah.
01:30:55.000 Yeah.
01:30:56.000 My friend did it to his kid.
01:30:57.000 He goes, I don't want my kid to have a weird-looking dick.
01:30:59.000 I go, what are you talking about?
01:31:01.000 Right.
01:31:02.000 How often are you going to be looking at him?
01:31:04.000 How are you going to train that kid?
01:31:05.000 Do you really think that that's going to fuck with him that much?
01:31:07.000 Yeah, but he goes to the locker room and other kid's going to stare at his dick.
01:31:09.000 I go, what?!
01:31:11.000 I've been in locker rooms, you piece of shit.
01:31:13.000 Nobody cares!
01:31:14.000 I don't give a shit.
01:31:15.000 Joey Diaz calls his dick the Cuban egg roll.
01:31:17.000 He wasn't circumcised.
01:31:20.000 I've seen Diaz's dick at least a hundred times.
01:31:23.000 At least a hundred times.
01:31:25.000 And he would pull out his dick for punchlines and jokes.
01:31:28.000 And, you know, when we're hanging around the parking lot or something like that.
01:31:31.000 I've got pictures of him with his pants down, like carrying somebody on his shoulders.
01:31:36.000 And his pants are down.
01:31:37.000 He doesn't have any underwear on.
01:31:38.000 You see his dick.
01:31:38.000 He's so crazy.
01:31:40.000 But nobody was like, I'm not hanging out with you.
01:31:43.000 I can see your foreskin.
01:31:44.000 How come you didn't get cut?
01:31:46.000 What kind of kids are you bringing your kids around?
01:31:51.000 They're gonna tease him?
01:31:52.000 You kid can't take a little teasing?
01:31:54.000 Yeah, hey, I'm sorry.
01:31:55.000 My dick didn't get mutilated by that witch doctor.
01:31:58.000 That's the fucking dick.
01:31:59.000 Exactly.
01:32:00.000 Your butchered dick over there.
01:32:02.000 This shit's fucking intact right here.
01:32:04.000 What did it feel like when that moil was sucking on your dick when you were two days old?
01:32:08.000 That's the thing I didn't know was still going on.
01:32:11.000 Obviously, dude, they circumcised babies still, but I didn't know that.
01:32:15.000 Dude, they defend it.
01:32:16.000 It's an Orthodox Jew tradition.
01:32:18.000 I wonder if Ari got his dick sucked when he was a baby.
01:32:21.000 Because Ari was hardcore.
01:32:23.000 They were deep in the game.
01:32:24.000 Yeah.
01:32:25.000 Ari was deep in the game.
01:32:26.000 Ari went to Israel and lived in a kibbutz or something like that, one of those things.
01:32:31.000 He was in one of those colonies where you're reading the Torah like fucking ten hours a day.
01:32:37.000 Deep.
01:32:38.000 Deep in the game.
01:32:38.000 He told me about that, and it's a funded trip.
01:32:41.000 You pay nothing to go do that.
01:32:44.000 I'm probably saying it, but it's not rite of passage, or maybe it is.
01:32:48.000 I don't know.
01:32:48.000 It's something that's paid for if you want to go, and he was telling us how he went there.
01:32:54.000 Yeah, he's a fascinating guy because he went the other way.
01:32:57.000 Yeah, he did.
01:32:58.000 They got him over there and after he just experienced it all, he was like, okay, this is all horseshit.
01:33:08.000 Those crazy braids.
01:33:10.000 Yeah, he had all that stuff.
01:33:11.000 He had the crazy braids.
01:33:12.000 He went the Kinnison route out of it.
01:33:14.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:33:15.000 Without the head injury.
01:33:17.000 You know, Kinnison, all that shit came from, did you know that?
01:33:20.000 That all came from a head injury?
01:33:21.000 Are you serious?
01:33:22.000 Yeah, man.
01:33:23.000 Goddamn, dude.
01:33:24.000 Kinnison's book, My Brother Bill, or My Brother Sam, his brother Bill wrote a book about him, and he said that Sam was one way, like a normal kid.
01:33:35.000 Like, you know, calm, regular kid.
01:33:37.000 Then he got hit by a car.
01:33:38.000 And when he got hit by a car, he was, like, seriously injured.
01:33:41.000 Bad head injury.
01:33:42.000 And then out of that, he was a wild motherfucker.
01:33:45.000 Oh, it all changed, huh?
01:33:46.000 Yeah.
01:33:47.000 That happens to people.
01:33:48.000 Head injuries.
01:33:49.000 I had a good friend of mine.
01:33:51.000 She passed away when she was 16, and I was talking to the doctor at the time.
01:33:54.000 I'll never forget he said this about the soul.
01:33:57.000 And we were just having this conversation.
01:33:59.000 He said, I believe the soul's in the brain.
01:34:01.000 And I said, why?
01:34:02.000 And he goes, well, everyone associates the soul with the chest and the heart and the soul and the heart and the soul.
01:34:07.000 And he said, but I can literally replace anything in your body and you're still Joe Rogan.
01:34:12.000 But the moment, the moment I even tweak your brain, you can become a different Joe Rogan.
01:34:17.000 He's like, that's why I believe the true soul is in the brain.
01:34:20.000 I was like, that's really fucking interesting.
01:34:22.000 Dude.
01:34:23.000 Because you can't manipulate a brain and still, well, maybe you can, but...
01:34:28.000 You start changing even a little thing on a brain, and it can be, like you just said, become a wild man from that.
01:34:33.000 Or the other way.
01:34:34.000 You remember when you were a kid, and they had TVs that weren't that good back then, and the TV didn't work good, and you'd fucking...
01:34:40.000 Yep.
01:34:41.000 You'd smack that bitch, and it would work.
01:34:43.000 It would work.
01:34:44.000 It would work.
01:34:45.000 It would work.
01:34:46.000 That was something with people.
01:34:49.000 Some people, you just fucking...
01:34:51.000 Rattle their cage and they become a different thing and it works better.
01:34:55.000 But it's like a very inexact science.
01:34:57.000 Like people have gotten hit in the head and all of a sudden been able to play music and got really good at math.
01:35:01.000 Yeah, that's amazing.
01:35:02.000 Segura talks about that on his special, the head injury.
01:35:05.000 Oh, does he?
01:35:05.000 Comes back with, oh man, is it Tourette's or something?
01:35:09.000 They come back different.
01:35:10.000 Yeah, an accent.
01:35:11.000 That's what it was, an accent.
01:35:13.000 Sudden accent syndrome.
01:35:14.000 Yeah, yeah, that's real, right?
01:35:15.000 That's real.
01:35:16.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:35:17.000 Dude, head injuries.
01:35:19.000 It's a weird thing.
01:35:20.000 The dome is a weird thing, you know, with all the weird fucking shit going on up there and all the different synapses and neurons firing and one little...
01:35:30.000 You know, rock that somebody throws at you, bonks you in the side of the head.
01:35:34.000 Done.
01:35:34.000 Now you're a different person.
01:35:35.000 Yep.
01:35:36.000 Forever.
01:35:37.000 Forever.
01:35:38.000 There's so many stories about that, too.
01:35:40.000 I've talked to so many doctors and neurologists that are, you know, they study the human brain, and it's one of the most perplexing things.
01:35:48.000 It's like, you can get the same, two people.
01:35:50.000 One person gets hit the same way, nothing happens, and the other person is a different human being for the rest of their life, and they'll struggle with that injury forever.
01:35:59.000 And it's like real similar.
01:36:00.000 Real similar impact, real similar circumstances.
01:36:04.000 And you just never know.
01:36:05.000 You never know what's going to do it.
01:36:07.000 That's why these...
01:36:08.000 What's this chick talking about?
01:36:10.000 British woman wakes up with Chinese accent.
01:36:12.000 Come on.
01:36:12.000 Oh, play this.
01:36:13.000 Play this.
01:36:14.000 I want to hear her.
01:36:15.000 Opened her eyes.
01:36:16.000 And it was not her voice that came out.
01:36:19.000 And a 55B, sweet and sour chicken, Hong Kong style.
01:36:22.000 It's just been such a horrible thing to go through.
01:36:25.000 She was diagnosed with foreign accents...
01:36:31.000 The Inquisitor reports others who have suffered from the same change in voice had severe migraines.
01:36:37.000 Only 61 cases have been identified since 1941. One explanation for the new tongue is that her migraines, which she experiences as many as 10 times or more per month, are leaving her with neurological damage.
01:36:50.000 The condition usually follows traumatic brain injury or a stroke.
01:36:54.000 Those with FAS also experience loss of vocabulary, but call What?
01:36:59.000 It doesn't have any more than a woman talking.
01:37:00.000 You go back to it.
01:37:01.000 Let me hear it again.
01:37:03.000 Is that her?
01:37:11.000 That's her, too.
01:37:12.000 How come she doesn't have it there?
01:37:13.000 Let me hear it again.
01:37:16.000 She literally woke up, opened her mouth, and it was not her voice that came out.
01:37:29.000 First of all, that's not a Chinese accent.
01:37:31.000 That's a broken English accent from a Chinese person.
01:37:36.000 And why are they giving her, of all things, a food order to fucking do?
01:37:41.000 That's mean.
01:37:42.000 She could have said anything in that Chinese accent.
01:37:45.000 They gave her a food order to do.
01:37:46.000 They're mean.
01:37:47.000 They told that bitch to order Chinese food.
01:37:53.000 I don't know if we can understand you in anything else with a Chinese accent.
01:37:56.000 Just say this.
01:37:57.000 Yeah, I mean, that is kind of hilarious.
01:38:00.000 Play that.
01:38:02.000 Play this one right here.
01:38:03.000 What does this lady got?
01:38:03.000 She's got a British...
01:38:04.000 This is a Houston mom with a British accent.
01:38:06.000 What happened to her?
01:38:07.000 Didn't say.
01:38:08.000 Did she get hit in the head?
01:38:08.000 Probably.
01:38:09.000 Let the queen's tongue Well, they always are asking me how my mom got that accent.
01:38:14.000 Oh, I'm not from England, sorry.
01:38:18.000 People who don't know me, hey, where are you from?
01:38:22.000 I'm from Rosenberg.
01:38:23.000 Oh, where's that?
01:38:24.000 I'm like, we're here in Rosenberg.
01:38:26.000 Oh, you're from here.
01:38:27.000 How do you talk like that?
01:38:28.000 So that's when the whole story comes up.
01:38:31.000 Six months ago, jaw surgery to fix an overdose changed Lisa's speech, too.
01:38:35.000 I thought she was playing around with me.
01:38:37.000 I thought she was joking with me, but then she showed me that, like, the doctor had told her she was diagnosed with foreign accent syndrome, and she searched it, and then I was like, oh, Lord.
01:38:45.000 Hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up.
01:38:47.000 Pause right here.
01:38:49.000 Here's the problem with that.
01:38:50.000 I can talk like this.
01:38:52.000 It doesn't mean that I talk like this.
01:38:54.000 So if I come back, say if I got an operation, I wanted to get a root canal, and I came back and I started talking like this.
01:38:59.000 Welcome to the Joe Rogan experience.
01:39:01.000 People are like, what's wrong with you?
01:39:02.000 I've diagnosed with foreign accent syndrome.
01:39:05.000 They'll be like, why don't you just talk like you know how to talk?
01:39:07.000 No, because I've been diagnosed.
01:39:09.000 I've been diagnosed with a disease.
01:39:11.000 I have an issue.
01:39:12.000 Please be more sensitive.
01:39:15.000 And I'm calling the news.
01:39:17.000 I'd like to get on the news today, please.
01:39:18.000 I can't help it.
01:39:19.000 This is how I talk now.
01:39:20.000 Do you think they still possess the original accent as well?
01:39:24.000 Or is it just that one now?
01:39:26.000 Maybe that bitch is so dumb.
01:39:28.000 She can't tap into the other one.
01:39:30.000 She just can't go back.
01:39:31.000 She can't go back.
01:39:34.000 She's got one speed.
01:39:36.000 Just knocked her into second gear.
01:39:38.000 She's trying to start off the line in second now.
01:39:41.000 All I have is second gear.
01:39:43.000 What is this?
01:39:44.000 This woman says she's been described as speaking in Italian, French, and even Japanese.
01:39:48.000 Oh, she's crazy.
01:39:49.000 She likes attention.
01:39:51.000 Let's hear it.
01:39:52.000 ...syndrome, Kath, joins us now along with Professor Rosemary.
01:39:55.000 Welcome both.
01:39:56.000 It's a very pastel.
01:39:57.000 So, look, it's 2006. You were suffering from bad health for a little while.
01:40:01.000 You'd had headaches.
01:40:02.000 And then you spoke to your sister on the phone and noticed that your voice was changing.
01:40:07.000 Yeah, I started off with just a lisp, and I was a bit concerned, and with ill health I tend to get over fatigued, so I thought it was that.
01:40:17.000 So I went to bed, and I'm still there the next morning, slowly this lisp was getting a little bit strange.
01:40:22.000 I ran stock on trends, my neuro was up there, at that time I could speak, I recalled a message, nobody got back, I thought, Okay, nothing to worry.
01:40:33.000 Wednesday morning it was starting to go like an alien and by Thursday it had gone completely and then I lost my swallow at the same time.
01:40:41.000 That's terrifying.
01:40:42.000 It is so scary for my family.
01:40:44.000 They were so terrified for me.
01:40:46.000 But no stuff stuck me in.
01:40:48.000 Wait a minute.
01:40:48.000 Why are they scared?
01:40:49.000 Because you're talking weird or because you can't swallow?
01:40:51.000 She said you couldn't swallow?
01:40:52.000 She's only spitting out now.
01:40:55.000 I've been diagnosed with inability to swallow.
01:40:58.000 Like, come on.
01:40:59.000 If you love me, you swallow.
01:41:02.000 Now, I've been diagnosed with inability to swallow.
01:41:06.000 Plus, I have a new accent.
01:41:11.000 All of a sudden, I spoke it with an Italian accent and I can't swallow.
01:41:15.000 I'll show you the paperwork.
01:41:17.000 I got a prescription for a cup syrup.
01:41:20.000 I only cough.
01:41:21.000 I never swallow.
01:41:23.000 Like, what in the fuck?
01:41:24.000 But here's the thing, man.
01:41:25.000 Maybe.
01:41:26.000 I mean, look, some people are barely holding on to reality.
01:41:29.000 You're right.
01:41:30.000 Barely.
01:41:30.000 You're right.
01:41:31.000 All they need is one fucking smack...
01:41:50.000 Okay, so some people were wondering where I got my accent from.
01:41:55.000 It's a really really crazy story.
01:41:58.000 Foreign accent syndrome is a rare condition that only affects crazy people.
01:42:06.000 While still speaking their native language.
01:42:10.000 Let me hear her.
01:42:13.000 She's never left the USA. This was her accent.
01:42:19.000 Hold on.
01:42:20.000 Hold on.
01:42:20.000 Stop.
01:42:20.000 Back up.
01:42:21.000 Back up.
01:42:22.000 Is that weed?
01:42:24.000 That's weed.
01:42:24.000 That sure is weed.
01:42:25.000 That is fucking weed.
01:42:28.000 That is a gigantic weed plant behind this bitch.
01:42:31.000 She's high as fuck.
01:42:31.000 She's playing with these people.
01:42:33.000 She's playing with these people.
01:42:35.000 This lady's high.
01:42:37.000 She's barbecued.
01:42:40.000 She got so high she thought she was British.
01:42:42.000 Hear it.
01:42:42.000 Irish.
01:42:44.000 Yesterday, which is September 17th, 2011, I started having problems with my voice.
01:42:51.000 Oh my god, I've got the same problem.
01:42:52.000 And I started noticing that when I tried to talk and say some things, my tongue felt like it wasn't right.
01:42:57.000 I had someone ask me again about my accent, so I'm just making a new video.
01:43:01.000 I had a headache for about three days, got rushed to the emergency room, and this was in May of 2015. And so they put me to sleep, observed me for a little while.
01:43:10.000 Stop.
01:43:10.000 Pause this.
01:43:11.000 This is nonsense.
01:43:12.000 This is like people think they're a fox.
01:43:14.000 You can't stay in the one accent because you don't know it.
01:43:18.000 No one can call people crazy anymore.
01:43:20.000 No one calls people crazy anymore.
01:43:21.000 You're not allowed to.
01:43:22.000 Oh, you are so rude.
01:43:24.000 You're insensitive to her condition.
01:43:26.000 Maybe she's crazy.
01:43:28.000 That's right.
01:43:28.000 Maybe.
01:43:29.000 She's fucking crazy.
01:43:30.000 But if you think you're a fox, like foxkin, you know there's people that are foxkin?
01:43:34.000 Do you know about this?
01:43:35.000 No!
01:43:35.000 You don't know?
01:43:37.000 I don't know about Furbies.
01:43:39.000 I love talking to you, Ryan.
01:43:42.000 Foxkin are people that really believe that they're in the wrong life form, that they should have been born a fox.
01:43:48.000 Specifically foxes.
01:43:49.000 Some of them foxes, some of them they think they're unicorns, they think they're all kinds of shit.
01:43:53.000 So what...
01:43:55.000 This is the same kind of thing.
01:43:57.000 This is where it gets real tricky because I think there's people that are legitimately transgender.
01:44:02.000 Like they were born in the wrong body.
01:44:04.000 Legitimately.
01:44:05.000 You agree?
01:44:05.000 Yeah.
01:44:06.000 I've met them.
01:44:06.000 Absolutely.
01:44:07.000 I believe it.
01:44:08.000 Yeah.
01:44:08.000 But I think there's also people that are fucking crazy and they just decide that they should have been born a woman or a man or they go back and forth.
01:44:17.000 What do we got here?
01:44:18.000 Otherkin.
01:44:19.000 Otherkin?
01:44:19.000 That's what it's called now.
01:44:20.000 Oh, here we go.
01:44:21.000 They think they're demons, angels.
01:44:23.000 Dragons.
01:44:24.000 Elvin.
01:44:25.000 Elvin.
01:44:26.000 Polymorphs.
01:44:27.000 Oh, I'm a polymorph.
01:44:28.000 I've been thinking I'm a polymorph.
01:44:29.000 Thinking about...
01:44:30.000 I want to be like one of those people in Avatar.
01:44:32.000 I want to be the Na'vi.
01:44:34.000 I'm Na'vi Ken.
01:44:37.000 This is the definition that Biden gave it.
01:44:40.000 Otherkin are people who identify as partially or entirely non-human.
01:44:46.000 A dragon, a lion, a fox, you name it.
01:44:49.000 There's probably someone out there who feels like they are more of these things than they are human.
01:44:53.000 The Otherkin community can be found lurking on Reddit, Tumblr, TV Tropes, and other online forums.
01:44:59.000 I believe it.
01:45:02.000 This poor people.
01:45:04.000 Look, I think they get fucked up when they're kids.
01:45:06.000 Somebody probably cut their dick when they're a baby.
01:45:08.000 They're all confused.
01:45:10.000 Instant trauma.
01:45:11.000 I mean, I have mental illness.
01:45:13.000 I have a cousin who is paranoid schizophrenic, alright?
01:45:17.000 And my dad would tell me about it.
01:45:19.000 He's my...
01:45:20.000 I don't know how the fucking second remove shit works.
01:45:22.000 It's my father's first cousin.
01:45:24.000 Okay?
01:45:24.000 Still alive.
01:45:25.000 Dude smoked a carton of cigarettes in three days.
01:45:29.000 Whoa.
01:45:30.000 I mean, we have no idea how he's ever...
01:45:32.000 A throat fucking left.
01:45:33.000 But he was really fucking...
01:45:36.000 He was a black belt in karate.
01:45:38.000 He was great at lacrosse.
01:45:39.000 He had Hopkins, Syracuse, big schools looking at him.
01:45:42.000 And then he'll tell you, he started doing drugs and he went fucking the Sid Barrett route.
01:45:47.000 He just went off the fucking deep end.
01:45:49.000 And he's...
01:45:50.000 Permanent disability, diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic, and we all love him, and he's fucking hilarious.
01:46:00.000 He'll play with it, because sometimes he's on his meds, and you can tell, you're like, oh, you're dialing in right now.
01:46:04.000 I'll start telling family secrets.
01:46:05.000 I'll be like, don't listen to him.
01:46:06.000 I'm like, no, no, no, no.
01:46:07.000 Right now is when you listen to him.
01:46:08.000 I can see it in your eyes.
01:46:09.000 The other times when he's off looking over here, I'm like, oh, you don't know what I'm talking about.
01:46:13.000 But we would go, like, he had an apartment, and I would go visit him from time to time, and he had poetry and sayings and stuff written all over the wall.
01:46:24.000 And I'm like, what is this?
01:46:25.000 And he's like, well, at night, when I'm home alone, the doctors come in through my window, they drop liquid acid in my ears, and they knock me out, and then they start taking samples of my body.
01:46:36.000 And after they leave, the love of my life comes, and I can't communicate with her.
01:46:41.000 So this is how I communicate with her.
01:46:44.000 These are there for when she comes in to speak for me.
01:46:46.000 And I'm like, holy shit.
01:46:49.000 So his windows are nailed shut to keep the doctors out.
01:46:52.000 I'm like, how's that work?
01:46:53.000 And he's like, it's not working.
01:46:57.000 So one day I'm over there.
01:46:59.000 And he's watching TV with the volume all the way down and the radio up.
01:47:05.000 And that's how he's watching this program.
01:47:08.000 And I'm telling you, it started to fucking make sense.
01:47:11.000 I was like, I gotta get the fuck out of here.
01:47:12.000 I gotta get out of here, Gary.
01:47:13.000 I'm out of here on this.
01:47:15.000 There's a disease that I'm trying to remember the name of it.
01:47:19.000 But it basically is when people are around schizophrenics for too long, they develop schizophrenia themselves.
01:47:29.000 Really?
01:47:29.000 Yeah, there's some people who are sympathetic to it to the point where, God, I want to say it's called allophrenia.
01:47:37.000 There's some sort of a disease that occasionally infects people or gets people that visit people in the hospital that are of schizophrenia.
01:47:48.000 So someone will come, like a family member will come visit you, and they will get diagnosed and they will get admitted themselves.
01:47:56.000 And they'll actually develop it.
01:47:58.000 Yeah, they get it.
01:47:59.000 I don't know like to what stage, but apparently it's a potential issue for some people.
01:48:06.000 Because like, look, have you ever been hypnotized?
01:48:10.000 No.
01:48:11.000 I thought it was horseshit.
01:48:12.000 To my friend Vinny Shorman, who is a sports hypnotist who works for a lot of fighters, he hypnotized me.
01:48:17.000 I'm like, whoa, this is real.
01:48:19.000 It just puts you in a very bizarre state.
01:48:21.000 Do you feel that state?
01:48:22.000 Yes, you're there.
01:48:23.000 You're awake.
01:48:23.000 You're conscious.
01:48:24.000 But you're in a strange state.
01:48:26.000 You feel something.
01:48:27.000 Yeah, like you're in a...
01:48:36.000 No.
01:48:49.000 My friend Frank Santos, he was a guy who, he's passed away, but he was a big time comedy hypnotist guy in Boston and in Rhode Island.
01:48:59.000 And he had a show.
01:49:01.000 And I saw his show, man, he used to do like one night a week at Stitches and one night a week at Nick's Comedy Stop.
01:49:07.000 And dude, we would go down there on days off just to watch.
01:49:11.000 It was crazy.
01:49:12.000 He would take people out of the audience, like, who wants to be hypnotized?
01:49:14.000 And he had a weird way of talking.
01:49:15.000 Who wants to be hypnotized?
01:49:16.000 You want to be hypnotized?
01:49:17.000 Come on up, come on up.
01:49:17.000 He was like a round, jolly fella, real friendly, glasses, you know, like totally unassuming.
01:49:23.000 You didn't think you'd...
01:49:24.000 And then he would bring these people on stage.
01:49:26.000 And he would just be able to take...
01:49:28.000 Sweetie, you're going to go under.
01:49:29.000 You're going to fall asleep.
01:49:30.000 You're going to fall asleep.
01:49:31.000 When I snap my fingers, you're going to think you are Sally Fields.
01:49:34.000 And right next to you is Burt Reynolds.
01:49:37.000 Smokey in the band.
01:49:38.000 And you would see these people and they really...
01:49:40.000 They were like, Smokey, we got to get away from the police.
01:49:43.000 Like, they really believed.
01:49:44.000 He had this one guy.
01:49:45.000 He told...
01:49:47.000 They would actually speak like that person?
01:49:49.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:49:50.000 They were out of their minds.
01:49:51.000 This one guy, he told the guy, this was the 80s, he told the guy that the guy was having sex with Madonna.
01:49:57.000 He's like, underneath you is Madonna, and you're squeezing her boobies, and she's naked, and you're about to have sex with her.
01:50:03.000 You're going to have sex.
01:50:04.000 You're having sex with her right now.
01:50:05.000 And the guy had an orgasm.
01:50:06.000 No.
01:50:07.000 On the stage.
01:50:08.000 He's sitting there on the stage.
01:50:10.000 He's like, oh!
01:50:11.000 And the audience is, I'm talking, people are falling out of their fucking chairs.
01:50:16.000 Crying, laughing.
01:50:17.000 But it was real, man.
01:50:19.000 And some people, it wasn't real.
01:50:21.000 Some people would look at him and he'd go, hey, buddy, hey, buddy, look at me, look at me.
01:50:24.000 You're not under.
01:50:25.000 Come on, come off the stage.
01:50:26.000 This guy was like, oh!
01:50:27.000 And the guy would climb off the stage.
01:50:28.000 He would know who was under and who wasn't under.
01:50:30.000 He would work with people who were trying to quit smoking or trying to quit gambling.
01:50:34.000 I had a friend that did the smoking thing.
01:50:36.000 Gambling, booze.
01:50:38.000 Apparently they can do it with a lot of different things, but smoking's a big one.
01:50:42.000 But he just could do it to some people.
01:50:44.000 And I'm telling you, quick.
01:50:46.000 There's fucking 300 people in the room.
01:50:48.000 But he would be like, I'm going to count my fingers from the count of three.
01:50:51.000 You're in the car and the police are chasing you.
01:50:53.000 One, two, three.
01:50:54.000 What are you doing now?
01:50:55.000 I'm in the car!
01:50:56.000 The cops are chasing me!
01:50:57.000 And it was just instant, man.
01:50:59.000 I mean, it was...
01:50:59.000 Some people, they just fall into these states of mind, and they're open to suggestions.
01:51:05.000 Some people can be hypnotized.
01:51:06.000 And this is why some people, I think, join cults.
01:51:09.000 Like, I'm watching this new Netflix program, Wild Wild Country.
01:51:13.000 Yeah.
01:51:14.000 Fucking crazy.
01:51:14.000 I just started, yeah.
01:51:16.000 Crazy.
01:51:16.000 But...
01:51:17.000 Some people, I think, are more susceptible to suggestion and more susceptible to cults.
01:51:23.000 And I think that's what's happening.
01:51:26.000 I think that's what's happening with this allofrenia thing, if that's what it's called.
01:51:29.000 I might be remembering that incorrectly.
01:51:31.000 But this thing that being around a schizophrenic person, like whatever weird error their brain is making, your brain tunes into that error and you start going crazy too.
01:51:43.000 As soon as that shit made sense, I was like, I gotta get the fuck out of here.
01:51:50.000 He's never hurt anyone, but he's still, you know, these days, he's probably in his 60s, not in any kind of shape.
01:51:58.000 But back then, when he still knew martial arts, he was dangerous.
01:52:02.000 But he never hurt anybody, but he knew how to.
01:52:06.000 And So one day, there's Eastern Avenue in Baltimore, for lack of a better term, the Ventura Boulevard of Baltimore.
01:52:12.000 Shops everywhere and everything.
01:52:14.000 And there was this one woman that had cut his hair one time.
01:52:17.000 And for him, to touch his head was a big deal for him.
01:52:23.000 So he immediately fell in love with this lady.
01:52:26.000 Her name was Carissa.
01:52:28.000 So he went home and got his guitar.
01:52:31.000 And the thing about this guitar, like this dude would pawn his bed, his guitar, everything.
01:52:36.000 But that guitar was always out of tune exactly the same way.
01:52:41.000 You understand what I'm saying?
01:52:42.000 Does that make sense?
01:52:43.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:52:43.000 Okay, so always fucked up, but always consistently fucked up.
01:52:46.000 Every guitar he had, that's how he tuned it.
01:52:48.000 That's how he heard it.
01:52:49.000 Oh, wow.
01:52:50.000 So he writes her a love song, and he wants to go up to her shop and now sing it for her.
01:52:59.000 So he goes up, he stands out in front of the shop, and he gets her attention, he's got his guitar, and he's gone.
01:53:06.000 It starts off where he goes, Chris, I love you!
01:53:08.000 Baltimore accents.
01:53:09.000 Her name's Carissa, but he says, Chris-a, okay?
01:53:12.000 Chris, I love you!
01:53:14.000 Chris, I need you!
01:53:15.000 Then he goes, Chris, I don't die!
01:53:16.000 Chris, I don't cry, because I want to die!
01:53:18.000 Chris, I don't...
01:53:18.000 And she's freaking out, like, what the fuck?
01:53:20.000 Yeah, like, your eyes.
01:53:21.000 So they call the police...
01:53:24.000 He gets arrested, but he doesn't understand why he's arrested.
01:53:27.000 In his mind, what did I do wrong?
01:53:30.000 I just wrote a beautiful song for someone I care about, and I wanted to share it with her.
01:53:33.000 So my cousins, all of us were like, we got to go to court and watch this.
01:53:37.000 This is going to be fantastic, because he's got...
01:53:41.000 He's gotta go to court.
01:53:42.000 So they bring him out from the back.
01:53:44.000 Oh no.
01:53:45.000 And he stands up and it's a female judge and his mom, my Aunt Marguerite, she's my great aunt, my grandma, I'm sister, but extended family big time and we're all there watching.
01:53:55.000 And the judge says, ask the girl her side of things.
01:53:58.000 She's like, well this happened and she's like, Would you like to speak on your behalf?
01:54:02.000 And he's like, I just don't understand what I did wrong.
01:54:04.000 I wrote a song for someone I care about and I just wanted to share it.
01:54:07.000 And she's like, would you mind sharing some of the lyrics?
01:54:10.000 And we're all like, oh shit.
01:54:11.000 And he fucking, Chris, I love you.
01:54:14.000 Chris, I need you.
01:54:15.000 Chris, don't cry because I want to die.
01:54:16.000 She goes, okay, okay, that's enough.
01:54:17.000 That's enough.
01:54:19.000 And then they're about to let him go because they understand they're going to put a restraining order.
01:54:23.000 He's under supervision, but they're about to let him go.
01:54:26.000 And she goes, oh, wait a second.
01:54:27.000 Oh, there's still an open charge here on the books.
01:54:32.000 So we're going to have to take you back today.
01:54:33.000 He starts losing his shit like, what?
01:54:36.000 My Aunt Marguerite stands up and to a judge, she goes, hun, we dropped those charges.
01:54:40.000 Everyone calls people hun in Baltimore.
01:54:42.000 She goes, hun, we dropped those charges.
01:54:43.000 That lady said, first of all, you don't call me hun.
01:54:47.000 I am a judge.
01:54:48.000 You address me as your honor.
01:54:49.000 We're all like, ah, Aunt Marguerite got schooled by the judge.
01:54:53.000 And they fucking took him back and he was screaming going up.
01:54:57.000 Did the family put a charge on him?
01:54:59.000 Yeah, he would do things like he would show up to their place in a cab, demand they pay for it, they didn't, he'd throw a brick through the window.
01:55:07.000 So they had him...
01:55:10.000 They had him arrested for that.
01:55:12.000 Jesus Christ.
01:55:14.000 And they really did drop the charges, but it was just a clerical error that never made it to the paperwork.
01:55:19.000 And she's like, I gotta do what I gotta do.
01:55:20.000 We're taking you back today.
01:55:21.000 And they were pulling him back and he was going nuts.
01:55:24.000 Oh my God.
01:55:25.000 Yeah, so that ended up that fucking haircut.
01:55:27.000 But he would say shit to me.
01:55:29.000 He would swear to me that nurses would give him head in the hospital.
01:55:33.000 And part of the time we're like, I don't know.
01:55:35.000 But one that really blew my mind was...
01:55:39.000 He had this scab on his stomach, and he was like, they keep coming in and cutting me and testing me.
01:55:44.000 They're taking me to the doctor today, Ryan.
01:55:47.000 I think I got something.
01:55:48.000 I think I got a disease in that cut.
01:55:50.000 I'm like, what are you going to do?
01:55:51.000 He's like, I got a plan.
01:55:53.000 So I talked to him later that day, and I was like, what did you do about that disease, man?
01:55:57.000 He goes, you know what I did with that scab?
01:55:58.000 I picked it off and threw it away.
01:56:00.000 He threw it!
01:56:01.000 Like, the scab held the disease.
01:56:04.000 Yeah, and you could just pick it off and flick it away and be like, that shit's gone.
01:56:07.000 AIDS is out of here now.
01:56:09.000 Can you imagine?
01:56:11.000 Wow.
01:56:11.000 But that's where he gets...
01:56:12.000 I talk about it, people are like, it's not funny.
01:56:14.000 And it's not.
01:56:15.000 Mental illness is obviously not funny.
01:56:17.000 But the shit he would do, we would take him.
01:56:19.000 So it would be me and my two brothers, his daughter and two sons on Christmas Eve.
01:56:23.000 We'd go over.
01:56:24.000 We'd take him a plate of food.
01:56:25.000 We'd hang out with him for a little while and shit.
01:56:28.000 And there'd be times where he's like, you guys got a joint.
01:56:29.000 We're like, we shouldn't be smoking.
01:56:31.000 With a schizophrenic guy?
01:56:33.000 So we give him a joint.
01:56:34.000 Oh no.
01:56:35.000 And he smokes it.
01:56:36.000 And now we're driving back to my aunt in the city, which is 12 minutes away.
01:56:41.000 We get back.
01:56:42.000 What are you all giving him?
01:56:44.000 He would rat us out.
01:56:46.000 He's like, thank you.
01:56:48.000 He's like, they came over and gave me that food, thanks, and by the way, they gave me a big fat joint, so then we would play that.
01:56:53.000 Why are you listening to his crazy ass?
01:56:54.000 Nobody gave him, like, we all had to be on the same team.
01:57:01.000 He would come to my grandmother's house when I lived with her.
01:57:06.000 He'd sit in a chair, and he smokes cigarettes like this.
01:57:09.000 I mean, he doesn't pull it any farther away than about three inches from his mouth, and just down, done, down, done.
01:57:15.000 And he'll go through three packs.
01:57:16.000 His mom died of breast cancer, and she would say all the time, I don't know how he even has a fucking throat left, and I'm dying of cancer over here, and he is.
01:57:24.000 He's still alive.
01:57:25.000 Still alive.
01:57:26.000 Smoking cigarettes like that, too.
01:57:27.000 Still smoking cigarettes like that.
01:57:28.000 It's a chain.
01:57:29.000 A carton in three days.
01:57:31.000 What is a carton?
01:57:31.000 I don't even know.
01:57:32.000 20 packs?
01:57:34.000 That's roughly seven packs a day.
01:57:36.000 Something like that.
01:57:36.000 A day.
01:57:37.000 For decades.
01:57:39.000 For decades.
01:57:41.000 That's so crazy.
01:57:43.000 Oh my god.
01:57:44.000 That is so crazy.
01:57:47.000 Do you remember what he was like before he was schizophrenic?
01:57:50.000 I don't, because when I was a kid, he was already gone.
01:57:53.000 But my dad loved him and would bring him out to the house, because he was safe.
01:57:56.000 He was just crazy.
01:57:57.000 He would say shit, and he'd be like, you know...
01:57:59.000 Just don't give him a brick.
01:58:00.000 Yeah, that's right.
01:58:01.000 Be nice.
01:58:02.000 Don't give him a fucking brick.
01:58:03.000 But my dad would tell me all the time he was a phenomenal athlete.
01:58:06.000 Like I said, great at karate.
01:58:08.000 He had a black belt.
01:58:09.000 He was great at lacrosse.
01:58:11.000 No, just...
01:58:12.000 He tried to tell me...
01:58:13.000 So Highland Town is the area where...
01:58:16.000 My aunt never...
01:58:17.000 It's the old Greek town in Baltimore.
01:58:19.000 It's not...
01:58:19.000 You know, Greek is long gone in that neighborhood, but that's where he grew up.
01:58:23.000 And he would try to tell me that Highland Town was the Haight-Ashbury in Baltimore.
01:58:27.000 I was like, get the fuck out of here with that garbage.
01:58:29.000 But he was doing acid, you know, early 11, 12. And he'd dabble.
01:58:36.000 I think he said that early.
01:58:37.000 And then...
01:58:38.000 Eventually, after, like, into the college years, the 20s, he really fucking ramped it up.
01:58:43.000 So he was fine before that?
01:58:45.000 Yeah, 100%.
01:58:46.000 You know, that's a common story.
01:58:48.000 The common story is people that have a tendency to schizophrenia, or maybe they have a likelihood of developing it later in their life, acid trips, mushroom trips, heavy psychedelics tend to bring out schizophrenia.
01:59:01.000 They tend to make it manifest.
01:59:03.000 So maybe he was ripe for it, because there's no other mental illness in the family.
01:59:09.000 It's just him.
01:59:10.000 It's just him.
01:59:11.000 Yeah, man, I think, especially when you're young, you know?
01:59:14.000 I mean, think about how many people have had horrible, horrible acid trips, just taken way too much and tried to fight it, and just been fucked up for days and weeks, and then you still feel slippery.
01:59:25.000 Like, life feels weird even after those trips.
01:59:28.000 I had a DMT trip one time that fucked me up for a couple weeks.
01:59:33.000 Like, for a couple weeks afterwards, I'd be driving my car and I'd be thinking, there's gonna be a car that's gonna launch itself off the fucking, the oncoming lane and fly right into me.
01:59:42.000 I was thinking, I had this image that was gonna be upside down and the car was gonna hit the windshield.
01:59:47.000 Flying upside down, coming into you?
01:59:48.000 Yeah, flying upside down and just slant...
01:59:49.000 For weeks after this?
01:59:51.000 Yeah, weeks.
01:59:52.000 Weeks afterwards.
01:59:53.000 That's why I'm scared of that shit.
01:59:54.000 It's because...
01:59:55.000 I tried to think about what was possibly happening.
01:59:58.000 I think it dissolved my ego so much and it made me think so much about how relatively unimportant every single person is in terms of the greater scheme of the universe that Whatever it did to me had broke down all my conceptions of myself,
02:00:19.000 all my preconceived notions of myself so much that my ego was freaking out.
02:00:25.000 So it tried to invent danger so I would have to be more primal to defend myself and go, look out!
02:00:31.000 Look out over there!
02:00:31.000 There's danger!
02:00:32.000 Instead of me going, man, what the fuck is life?
02:00:34.000 What is this?
02:00:35.000 What is...
02:00:35.000 What is the energy that courses through your body?
02:00:38.000 What is the purpose of the human race?
02:00:39.000 What are we moving towards?
02:00:41.000 Why are we so committed to innovation and technology?
02:00:43.000 I had all these crazy thoughts where I was trying to figure out what the purpose of the activities of the human race were that it was so bizarrely different than my normal pattern of thought that my mind just started coming up with all sorts of weird paranoid ideas with things.
02:01:00.000 It took me like two weeks before I normalized.
02:01:02.000 And after two weeks I felt normal.
02:01:03.000 And I didn't do DMT again for a Years after that, years.
02:01:07.000 Comedians have come on and talked about it.
02:01:11.000 I'm obviously asking you because I'm ignorant.
02:01:14.000 Is DMT, isn't that the chemical your body releases as you die?
02:01:17.000 They think your body releases it as you die, but they don't really know.
02:01:20.000 They know that your body makes it, they know that your liver makes it, your lungs make it, and they think that your pineal gland makes it, which is your third eye.
02:01:29.000 And reptiles, it actually has a retina and a lens.
02:01:32.000 Right.
02:01:32.000 Really?
02:01:32.000 Yeah.
02:01:33.000 The pineal gland, it sits in the center of your brain.
02:01:36.000 It literally is your third eye.
02:01:37.000 If you look at a third eye in the Eastern mysticism, that's where the pineal gland is.
02:01:42.000 And now they know that rats, while they're alive, produce DMT in the pineal gland.
02:01:48.000 This is a new study that was done.
02:01:50.000 I think this research was published over the last five or six years.
02:01:55.000 So because of the fact that they know that now, they're assuming that human beings also produce it in the pineal gland, which would, you know, it kind of sort of verifies what everybody always thought the pineal gland is.
02:02:07.000 They would call it the seed of the soul, that this is where your journey to the afterlife begins in the pineal gland and that this chemical gateway opens up and your soul passes through to the great beyond.
02:02:19.000 But can it be like a bad trip on the way out?
02:02:23.000 Oh, fuck.
02:02:24.000 That's terrible.
02:02:24.000 Yes, yes, yes.
02:02:25.000 I've been with people who've had bad DMT trips.
02:02:28.000 I was at Stanhope.
02:02:30.000 I got Stanhope high on DMT, and I thought he was dying.
02:02:33.000 He's at my house, and he's moaning and foaming at the mouth.
02:02:36.000 He's like...
02:02:37.000 I'd never seen anybody do that before.
02:02:41.000 I'd see a bunch of people.
02:02:43.000 Most people smoke DMT. They do this.
02:02:45.000 They smoke it, and then they just go...
02:02:49.000 And they lay back, and then this overwhelming experience happens to them for like 15 minutes, and then they come back.
02:02:54.000 That's it.
02:02:55.000 And they come back.
02:02:56.000 Yeah, they don't move.
02:02:57.000 That's not hours.
02:02:58.000 No, no, no.
02:02:59.000 It's a quick experience.
02:03:01.000 Ayahuasca is an orally active experience with DMT. What ayahuasca is, when you...
02:03:08.000 If you tried to eat DMT, DMT is broken down in your gut by something called monoamine oxidase.
02:03:14.000 So when they make ayahuasca, what they do is they take part of one plant, which has dimethyltryptamine, and part of another plant, which has something called harmine, which is a monoamine oxidase inhibitor, MAO inhibitors.
02:03:29.000 There's some in medications.
02:03:32.000 You've got to be very careful if you're taking mushrooms or something else that you're not taking MAO inhibitors as well.
02:03:38.000 So you take this stuff together, and what it does is it gives you an orally active DMT trip.
02:03:43.000 So as it's broken down by your gut, it's like a slow-release DMT trip that'll take several hours as opposed to this...
02:03:50.000 Fucking rocket ship ride to the center of the universe that you get when you take it when you smoke it because when you smoke it or intravenous use if you You know go to a doctor knows how to do that that goes directly in your bloodstream and it's just so it is Impossible to avoid you cannot you can't hang on you're just it's gonna take you to the center of the fucking universe and you're gonna experience life forms and interaction with spirits and angels and aliens and just Gestures for me is a bunch of gestures that were giving me the finger.
02:04:21.000 It was great giving me the finger like fuck you Like it was very very very very powerful But the Stanhope one was the only time I ever saw someone where I thought they were gonna die And I was thinking I can't what if I kill one of my best friends like what if I killed Stanhope?
02:04:37.000 You know, I was like I don't remember.
02:04:39.000 I think I did it first because I think he hadn't done it before.
02:04:42.000 So I said, I'll do it.
02:04:43.000 Just watch me do it and just sit down here and then you do it next.
02:04:46.000 So I did it.
02:04:47.000 I'm gone.
02:04:48.000 15 minutes.
02:04:48.000 Come back.
02:04:49.000 I'm like, you ready?
02:04:49.000 He's like, yeah, as I'll ever be.
02:04:51.000 So I give it to him and, you know, Stanhope's been drinking since he was three.
02:04:58.000 His body is loosely held together with duct tape.
02:05:02.000 You know, Sal lies down.
02:05:04.000 If he lies down and pushes his stomach out, he's got these fucking, what is it called?
02:05:12.000 No, not hemorrhoids.
02:05:13.000 What is it called?
02:05:14.000 Hernias.
02:05:15.000 He's got hernias.
02:05:16.000 His stomach will poke through the wall of his stomach.
02:05:19.000 Or his gut will poke through the wall of his abdomen.
02:05:23.000 He's got a bunch of those.
02:05:25.000 He's got them all over the place.
02:05:26.000 Just like this.
02:05:27.000 And they'll pop up.
02:05:28.000 You're supposed to get those fixed.
02:05:31.000 He's not picking anything up.
02:05:32.000 He just keeps on trucking.
02:05:36.000 And I've talked to him about this too.
02:05:37.000 He's like one of those no MRI guys.
02:05:39.000 Nah.
02:05:40.000 No doctors.
02:05:41.000 No MRIs.
02:05:42.000 I don't want to know what's going on in there.
02:05:44.000 That's everyone dead in my family, by the way.
02:05:46.000 That's why I go to doctors.
02:05:47.000 Drinking, smoking, smoking.
02:05:48.000 That's everybody.
02:05:49.000 So, and this is more than 10 years ago.
02:05:52.000 This is probably 2002, while this is all going down.
02:05:55.000 So me and Stanhope are on my couch, and he is moaning like this.
02:06:04.000 Foam's coming out of the corner of his mouth, and he's like slumped over, and I'm just praying.
02:06:09.000 I'm like, please don't die.
02:06:12.000 Please don't.
02:06:12.000 Because I didn't expect this.
02:06:13.000 I expected what everybody else, who I've seen maybe a handful of people do DMT, they all do the same thing.
02:06:19.000 They smoke it, they lay back, they trip balls, they come back in 15 minutes, and they're like, what the fuck was that about?
02:06:25.000 But then he came back, and he's like, oh, life eats life.
02:06:28.000 There's a constant cycle.
02:06:30.000 It's like he just goes on into the next thing, and then life goes on, and life's like, I'm so far behind.
02:06:36.000 I'm so far behind with my thinking.
02:06:38.000 I'm so far behind with everything.
02:06:41.000 And I'm just like, I'm just glad you're alive, dude.
02:06:43.000 Yeah, no shit.
02:06:44.000 I almost killed my cousin like that.
02:06:47.000 Two times I've watched people almost die on drugs that I was with.
02:06:50.000 The one that scared me was my cousin.
02:06:52.000 We found out my cousin, Timmy, he's allergic to...
02:06:55.000 It's got to be THC. He's allergic to weed.
02:06:57.000 It just destroys...
02:06:59.000 I mean, like that will fucking turn him gray and...
02:07:03.000 So this is what we didn't know.
02:07:05.000 So his younger sister, she was turning 19, I think it was.
02:07:11.000 And I'm living with them at the time.
02:07:13.000 My grandmother just passed away and I don't have a place to stay and her sister, my Aunt Marguerite, took me in.
02:07:19.000 And I'm living with them and my cousin Jennifer's like, I'm having a birthday party tonight at the house.
02:07:25.000 The girls are all going to come back here, right?
02:07:27.000 So we get some good weed from Oregon.
02:07:31.000 It was rare to get good fucking bud from the West Coast in the early, you know, the 90s regularly.
02:07:38.000 And you always got, we called it practice weed.
02:07:40.000 That's what we always fucking got.
02:07:42.000 But this shit came, and I rolled one.
02:07:45.000 Oh, it was beautiful.
02:07:46.000 It just had a pencil point to it while we're smoking it.
02:07:48.000 And I was like, it's February.
02:07:49.000 It's so fucking cold.
02:07:51.000 That bone-chill cold.
02:07:52.000 I'm like, let's go sit in my car.
02:07:54.000 I'm gonna smoke this joint.
02:07:55.000 I had a 1990 Honda Civic with original rims, bro.
02:07:58.000 We're in there fucking smoking.
02:08:02.000 We're listening to Hendrix.
02:08:04.000 And he takes one hit and he goes, let me have one more.
02:08:07.000 I'm like, you shouldn't.
02:08:08.000 You remember that?
02:08:08.000 He's like, let me have one.
02:08:09.000 I'm like, this is really strong weed.
02:08:11.000 He's like, let me have one more.
02:08:11.000 He hits one more.
02:08:13.000 So we get out of the car, and he's like just standing up, and he looks like he just stole second.
02:08:18.000 He's got his hands on his knees, he's breathing heavy and shit.
02:08:22.000 I'm like, are you alright?
02:08:23.000 I'm like, let's go get back inside.
02:08:24.000 And I'm walking down the driveway, and I remember visually seeing that gust of wind come around the corner of the house and just plant itself in my fucking chest.
02:08:33.000 So I get the fucking shakes.
02:08:35.000 It's like two degrees outside.
02:08:37.000 We go in the house, and we just start throwing thermals and shit on.
02:08:40.000 And as I'm doing it, I'm looking at him, and I'm like, Hey, man, you don't look so good, dude.
02:08:47.000 He's touching himself in the mirror.
02:08:48.000 He's turning gray.
02:08:49.000 He starts sweating.
02:08:50.000 He's like, I don't fucking feel good.
02:08:52.000 I'm like, go upstairs and get some water right now.
02:08:54.000 And it progressed so quickly, and he looked like shit so bad that I'm over in the mirror looking at myself.
02:09:00.000 I'm like, I'm okay.
02:09:01.000 I'm fine.
02:09:02.000 I go out to come tell my cousin, his sister, what happens.
02:09:06.000 And there's a fireplace.
02:09:08.000 Fire's going.
02:09:08.000 I'm sitting next to her, and we're just warming up.
02:09:10.000 And I'm like, he goes, what?
02:09:12.000 She goes, what the fuck's my brother over there?
02:09:13.000 I go, we just went out in the car.
02:09:15.000 We got high, and he's fucking freaking out.
02:09:17.000 She goes, well, there's 19 girls here, and 17 of us are tripping on acid right now.
02:09:23.000 I go, what?
02:09:24.000 Oh, my God!
02:09:25.000 There's two girls scared of the other group locked in the bathroom, okay?
02:09:33.000 He comes back down the stairs, and he's battling for life at this point.
02:09:38.000 He's trying to get in the bathroom.
02:09:39.000 They think it's the girls on acid, so they're not letting anyone in.
02:09:42.000 He just turns around, and at the time, we're watching.
02:09:45.000 I'm like, look at him!
02:09:45.000 Look at him now!
02:09:46.000 And he just takes two steps, and he stands erect.
02:09:50.000 And just rocks back and goes face forward into the banister.
02:09:52.000 It cracks, busts his face open.
02:09:54.000 He lays on the ground.
02:09:55.000 He starts having like a little seizure.
02:09:57.000 I'm like, oh my...
02:09:58.000 And I'm where you are.
02:09:58.000 I'm like, oh my god, I just fucking killed him.
02:10:00.000 Friday had just come out.
02:10:01.000 My cousin on point jumps on top of him and is like, you got knocked the fuck out.
02:10:06.000 They all start laughing.
02:10:07.000 I'm like...
02:10:08.000 By the way, my aunt and uncle, they're asleep upstairs.
02:10:11.000 Oh, no.
02:10:12.000 And I'm like, oh, my God.
02:10:13.000 His eyes are rolling back in his head.
02:10:15.000 This one girl grabs the fucking phone to call 911. She hits nine.
02:10:19.000 She hits one.
02:10:20.000 I already got his head tilted.
02:10:22.000 I'm ready to go.
02:10:23.000 I'm very good in controlled chaos, and I'm just...
02:10:26.000 I'm about to fucking put my mouth...
02:10:28.000 I can't believe I gotta get my cousin...
02:10:29.000 And they're all laughing.
02:10:30.000 They're on acid.
02:10:31.000 They think it's hilarious.
02:10:32.000 I go to put...
02:10:33.000 We're about this close, and he goes...
02:10:34.000 Get the fuck off of me!
02:10:35.000 And I was like, don't hit one!
02:10:36.000 I was like, oh, God.
02:10:37.000 I go, what the fuck happened?
02:10:37.000 He goes, I was locked inside myself.
02:10:40.000 I heard everything you said.
02:10:41.000 I couldn't respond, though.
02:10:42.000 I heard everything, right?
02:10:43.000 I was stuck inside myself.
02:10:45.000 He had come out.
02:10:46.000 Now his teeth are through his lip here because he's hit the banister.
02:10:50.000 And the chicks on acid now see the blood.
02:10:53.000 And now they start freaking the fuck out.
02:10:55.000 I'm like, oh, my God.
02:10:56.000 He's like, you got to take it to the hospital.
02:10:57.000 17 girls on acid!
02:10:58.000 17 girls of 19. Oh.
02:11:01.000 I'm like, I'm not taking you to the hospital.
02:11:02.000 We can't go to the hospital.
02:11:03.000 Tell them we've got a bunch of kids on ass and all.
02:11:06.000 And I was like, you just got to suck it up and tough it out.
02:11:09.000 So he waited till the morning and then got my uncle because it just busted his lip all up.
02:11:13.000 And he was like, I just tripped down the steps and hit the banister.
02:11:15.000 But that was the second time that we almost killed his ass.
02:11:18.000 He did a gravity bong one time out of the kitchen sink.
02:11:21.000 I really thought he was going to die.
02:11:22.000 I'm like, why would you ever touch weed again?
02:11:24.000 I was in New York, filming Fear Factor.
02:11:28.000 I was with some friends that I don't know if they get high.
02:11:32.000 They definitely don't get high on a regular basis.
02:11:34.000 But we're all having a good time.
02:11:36.000 We're at a bar and it's post 9-11, right?
02:11:38.000 And so New York had a lively, weird feel to it, like a friendly feel to it.
02:11:43.000 It was very strange.
02:11:44.000 Like after 9-11, something happened in New York where it was so devastating and horrible that in the recovery process...
02:11:52.000 People were nicer to each other.
02:11:53.000 It was very strange.
02:11:54.000 So anyway, it was a friendly feeling.
02:11:57.000 So we're all sitting outside.
02:11:58.000 We're in this bar.
02:11:59.000 We're having a couple of drinks.
02:12:01.000 It's right after filming.
02:12:02.000 I'm with the producers and a bunch of the people that work on the show.
02:12:06.000 And I go, hey, you guys want to get high?
02:12:08.000 And they go, yeah, sure.
02:12:11.000 Yeah, okay.
02:12:11.000 So come on outside.
02:12:12.000 And I'm giving them that...
02:12:15.000 Serious California weed.
02:12:17.000 Some serious California weed.
02:12:19.000 I don't remember what the name of it was, like whatever the jailbreak or whatever the fuck it was called, but it was really strong.
02:12:27.000 We all take a hit of this joint.
02:12:29.000 I take a hit, I pass it to my friend, he takes a hit, he passes it to this other guy, and then he passes it to my friend Shai, and she's one of the producers on the show.
02:12:37.000 She takes a hit of it, and her eyes roll back inside of her head, and her knees buckle, and then she just goes.
02:12:43.000 And this is where, on the street, you know?
02:12:45.000 She dropped?
02:12:46.000 Dropped.
02:12:47.000 Caught her.
02:12:48.000 Caught her just in time.
02:12:50.000 Caught her, and, you know, we had to call the fire department, you know, we called 911, the fire department came, and they checked her out, and they You know, they could probably smell weed a mile away.
02:13:00.000 It's like somebody ran over a fucking skunk.
02:13:02.000 And they were like, hey, man, what are you doing?
02:13:05.000 I go, yeah, we're filming Fear Factor here.
02:13:07.000 And, you know, she just she got dizzy.
02:13:09.000 He's like, oh, she got dizzy, huh?
02:13:12.000 You know, we're paranoid and nervous.
02:13:15.000 Just lucky we caught her, man, because if we didn't catch her, she was going to bounce her head off the concrete.
02:13:19.000 I mean, she just went limp.
02:13:21.000 She just went like this.
02:13:22.000 Her eyes went back and she just went like this.
02:13:24.000 And I think it was me and my friend Tom wound up catching her.
02:13:27.000 But it was weird.
02:13:29.000 Her body just shut off.
02:13:31.000 Her body was like, too much pot!
02:13:33.000 Fuck it!
02:13:33.000 Her body was more comfortable going unconscious than it was dealing with being that high that quick.
02:13:39.000 Tell me if you've ever heard this, you'd be the person to ask.
02:13:41.000 So, like, I've never done acid, coke, I'm weed.
02:13:45.000 I've done ecstasy a couple times, not for me.
02:13:48.000 I've done shrooms a couple times where I enjoyed it, but after a while I was like, okay, get the fuck out of here.
02:13:52.000 You know what I mean?
02:13:53.000 Like, it's enough.
02:13:54.000 It's enough.
02:13:55.000 I get it.
02:13:56.000 But a friend of mine, this was when I first moved out here, we went and saw Pink Floyd at the Rose Bowl.
02:14:02.000 And we take a bunch of weed and some drinks, and he's got a couple.
02:14:05.000 This guy and girl are going to meet us there.
02:14:07.000 And she brings shrooms.
02:14:09.000 And I'm just like, I'm cool, I'll pass.
02:14:11.000 But the three of them do the shrooms.
02:14:13.000 And we're in the middle of the concert, and fucking the pigs are inflated, and they're bouncing, and we're having a great fucking time.
02:14:20.000 And I look to my left over here, and I look back to my right, and my friend's gone.
02:14:24.000 He's gone.
02:14:25.000 And I hear screams.
02:14:29.000 And I look down, and he's passed out.
02:14:33.000 He's gone into a seizure.
02:14:36.000 Rose Bowl is the bleacher stadium seats.
02:14:38.000 So he...
02:14:39.000 What happened was he fell back and his feet got locked up under the bleacher in front of him.
02:14:43.000 So he's bent completely like this.
02:14:46.000 And these fucking idiots behind him...
02:14:48.000 I shouldn't say fucking idiots.
02:14:50.000 I don't blame them.
02:14:50.000 They got scared.
02:14:51.000 Instead of catching them, they moved out of the way.
02:14:53.000 So his head strikes the bleachers and he starts going into a fucking seizure.
02:14:57.000 And I'm like, I've never seen anybody do this from shrooms.
02:15:00.000 And they're all yelling, is he epileptic?
02:15:02.000 I said, I don't know anything!
02:15:04.000 The girl that gave them to them, she saw it and she just immediately had to...
02:15:08.000 She started vomiting in her $45 concert shirt.
02:15:11.000 Her trip went south immediately.
02:15:13.000 And I didn't know what to do.
02:15:15.000 And I just fucking punched her in the head.
02:15:18.000 I punched the shit out of him in his face.
02:15:20.000 In his face?
02:15:21.000 In his face, bro.
02:15:22.000 Right across the jaw.
02:15:23.000 And he woke up.
02:15:24.000 And he's like, what the fuck happened?
02:15:26.000 I was like, you just passed out and had a seizure.
02:15:27.000 He's like, how long was I out?
02:15:28.000 I was like, how long do you think you were out?
02:15:30.000 And he's like, two minutes.
02:15:31.000 I was like, it was about 15 seconds, dude.
02:15:32.000 And he's like, holy shit.
02:15:34.000 And then he was fine after that.
02:15:36.000 Except for a black eye.
02:15:37.000 Yeah.
02:15:37.000 I don't know if the head striking the bleachers what caused the seizure or but he just had this moment where he just passed out from shrooms I've never seen that before it does happen people get knocked out in the seizure that does happen I've seen that before their toes lock up one of the things when people get punched and knocked out their toes lock up really?
02:15:56.000 their whole body like I know about the arms that go up like this yeah that this shit's dangerous this their arms extend it happens all the time in fights The weirdest thing, this is, make you laugh, this is the weirdest thing I've ever seen on weed,
02:16:11.000 you know, smoking weed.
02:16:13.000 So I'm an Oriole fan, I'm a Ravens fan, and back in the day I'd go to Anaheim by myself to see the Orioles and play the Angels.
02:16:21.000 And nothing was built around there.
02:16:23.000 It's a dirt lot.
02:16:24.000 I'd go buy a scalp ticket, a single from this dude, and then I'd go across the street to like $4 parking.
02:16:32.000 And where, like, it's a business complex.
02:16:34.000 Like, LADWP, they're all in there.
02:16:35.000 But the buildings are in a square and the parking's all in the middle.
02:16:38.000 And it's just me.
02:16:39.000 And a friend of mine one time, he's like, hey, he's a Cubs fan.
02:16:42.000 He's like, I know you're going to go to the game today.
02:16:45.000 I love baseball.
02:16:46.000 You mind if I roll with you?
02:16:47.000 I'm like, no, man.
02:16:48.000 Let's go do it together.
02:16:49.000 So we go out.
02:16:49.000 And it's early.
02:16:50.000 You know, it's a 1 o'clock game.
02:16:51.000 So we're getting out there like 11. And the two of us are sitting in the middle of this empty parking lot of hundreds of spaces.
02:16:58.000 We got sand chairs, smoking joints, drinking a little beer in the parking lot, tailgating before we go into the game.
02:17:04.000 Like 150 yards down this corner, this fucking pickup truck hops the curb.
02:17:10.000 And I mean, like 100 miles an hour is gunning right at us.
02:17:14.000 Again, with your friends, it happens so quick.
02:17:16.000 We rip our chairs like, what the fuck's going on?
02:17:18.000 And you know those Cadillac commercials on the dry lake beds with the Mirage and it's humming right at you?
02:17:24.000 That's what this fucking thing looks like.
02:17:26.000 And it's a big-ass truck, and it pulls up and it parks, like, just four spaces to our left.
02:17:32.000 There's hundreds of spaces.
02:17:33.000 And we're looking at each other like, what the fuck?
02:17:36.000 This lady gets out, and she's like, what's up?
02:17:39.000 And we're like, what's up?
02:17:40.000 And she pops the tailgate down.
02:17:43.000 And it's all happening so fast.
02:17:44.000 This is obviously her shit, because she's just fluid doing everything.
02:17:47.000 She grabs this thing, snaps it open.
02:17:48.000 It's a big-ass wheelchair.
02:17:50.000 And we're like, what the fuck is going on?
02:17:51.000 She goes over to the passenger door.
02:17:53.000 She opens the door up, and she gets her friend out who doesn't have legs.
02:17:57.000 And we're like, what the fuck is happening right now?
02:17:59.000 She sets her friend in the wheelchair, and she's like, you guys got weed?
02:18:02.000 You got beer?
02:18:03.000 We got fucking jello shots.
02:18:04.000 Let's do it.
02:18:05.000 We partied already.
02:18:07.000 I was so high.
02:18:08.000 I was like, is there something?
02:18:09.000 Out of nowhere, dude.
02:18:11.000 Just decided to party with you.
02:18:13.000 We're pulling in here.
02:18:14.000 You're here.
02:18:15.000 We're here.
02:18:15.000 She doesn't have legs.
02:18:16.000 We're fucking doing this.
02:18:17.000 And we were like, holy shit.
02:18:19.000 They had gel.
02:18:19.000 They were the nicest.
02:18:20.000 Everyone knew her.
02:18:22.000 You know, she was rolling through like, what's up, Teresa?
02:18:24.000 You know, she's sticking shit under her blanket and shit.
02:18:30.000 I was like, that's the weirdest shit I think I've ever seen, but I've been smoking marijuana right there.
02:18:35.000 When partying is happening, the normal rules of life kind of go out the window.
02:18:40.000 Weird shit happens.
02:18:42.000 But I'm a yes and guy.
02:18:43.000 I like the story.
02:18:44.000 I wasn't going to be like, let's pack our shit up and get the fuck out of here.
02:18:47.000 I was like, let's stay here and party with these two.
02:18:49.000 Doesn't seem too dangerous.
02:18:50.000 No.
02:18:51.000 Two ladies.
02:18:51.000 One of them's got no legs.
02:18:52.000 How about it?
02:18:53.000 One of them was a crazy driver.
02:18:55.000 But what she told me, she's like, you got a Cherokee.
02:18:58.000 I go, how'd you get in down there?
02:18:59.000 She goes, you can hop the curb down there and park back here for free.
02:19:01.000 I did that for two more seasons off that tip of her.
02:19:04.000 Oh, right.
02:19:05.000 So she just, it was big enough.
02:19:06.000 She didn't have to go, right, because she has a four-wheel drive.
02:19:08.000 Pop it right over the curb and go.
02:19:10.000 She was the shit, man.
02:19:11.000 Clever lady.
02:19:13.000 Clever girl.
02:19:15.000 Yeah, partying.
02:19:16.000 It's not good for you, but it makes some good goddamn memories.
02:19:20.000 I remember it took me, when I first started, I was a late bloomer on weed.
02:19:24.000 I was 21 when I started smoking.
02:19:26.000 I was 30. Yeah, you were late.
02:19:28.000 And it took me a month.
02:19:30.000 I was ignorant to the whole idea of just having to learn how to smoke, to take smoke into my lungs.
02:19:37.000 It didn't even dawn on me.
02:19:39.000 I would just be like, oh, just take it and I won't call for anything.
02:19:41.000 So it took like a month.
02:19:43.000 Before I got high.
02:19:44.000 And the first time I got high, I remember freaking the fuck out.
02:19:47.000 And I was trying to talk myself to it.
02:19:48.000 Like, it's a plant.
02:19:49.000 You can't overdose unless you smoke your body weight.
02:19:51.000 At least I heard that one time.
02:19:52.000 I don't know if that's true.
02:19:53.000 Even a newborn preemie can't do it.
02:19:55.000 I'm saying this shit to myself.
02:19:56.000 But I kept asking questions out loud.
02:19:57.000 Like, you guys hear my heart beating?
02:20:01.000 I was so scared.
02:20:02.000 I was like, I'm dying and no one's even taking me to the hospital.
02:20:04.000 It's kind of fucked up, guys.
02:20:05.000 They were like, shut the fuck up.
02:20:07.000 Go downstairs, dude.
02:20:07.000 You're brand new.
02:20:08.000 My stepdad smoked weed and we stole it once when I was in high school.
02:20:12.000 And me and my girlfriend and my friend Josh smoked pot over my girlfriend's house.
02:20:17.000 And we were...
02:20:19.000 16?
02:20:22.000 I think I was 16 and my girlfriend was 15. And we got so high that...
02:20:28.000 We would wake up in the kitchen, and then wake up in the living room.
02:20:31.000 Like, we would be missing time.
02:20:33.000 We'd be missing spots.
02:20:34.000 Like, how did we get here?
02:20:36.000 Like, I'll never forget that.
02:20:37.000 Like, when you're 16, you don't really get paranoid, because you're not worried too much about stuff.
02:20:42.000 You're too stupid.
02:20:43.000 Your brain hasn't fully formed yet.
02:20:45.000 That's right.
02:20:45.000 You know?
02:20:46.000 And I didn't really understand pot.
02:20:47.000 I have no idea how much we smoked.
02:20:49.000 We just kept smoking it.
02:20:50.000 You know, when you're 16, you don't know to stop.
02:20:53.000 You just keep smoking.
02:20:54.000 And I just remember, like, my whole body was tingling, and we were, like, lying on the couch together, and we, like, couldn't move.
02:21:02.000 We're like, oh my god, I can't move.
02:21:03.000 Then all of a sudden, we were in the kitchen, standing in front of the refrigerator, like, how did we get here?
02:21:07.000 How did we get here?
02:21:08.000 Yeah, we...
02:21:09.000 Gone.
02:21:10.000 We were too high.
02:21:13.000 We had no idea what was happening.
02:21:15.000 That's the one thing that's cool about getting people high that don't get high, is you get to see that overwhelming rush where they don't really know what this is or what to do.
02:21:25.000 Chris McGuire I got him high once.
02:21:29.000 You know Chris?
02:21:30.000 No.
02:21:30.000 Stand-up comic.
02:21:31.000 Funny guy.
02:21:32.000 He produces a bunch of TV shows now.
02:21:33.000 He's one of the...
02:21:34.000 He produces...
02:21:35.000 I think he's the executive producer of that Snoop Dogg and the show of Martha Stewart.
02:21:41.000 Oh, yeah.
02:21:41.000 Okay.
02:21:42.000 Anyway.
02:21:43.000 Got him high, and he's like, I think there's something else in this pot.
02:21:46.000 I think there's something else in it.
02:21:47.000 No, no, it's just, that's what pot's like today.
02:21:49.000 He's like, no, no, no, no, no, no.
02:21:50.000 This isn't pot.
02:21:51.000 This isn't pot.
02:21:51.000 This is more than pot.
02:21:52.000 Like, no, this is pot.
02:21:54.000 This is what pot is now.
02:21:55.000 Pot is now a different thing.
02:21:57.000 Totally.
02:21:58.000 You go back to some pot from the 1960s, those hippies, they didn't know what the fuck they were smoking.
02:22:02.000 They were smoking bullshit.
02:22:03.000 Yep.
02:22:04.000 This pot today is scientifically organized.
02:22:06.000 So my uncle, he's in his 80s.
02:22:09.000 He's got stage 4 cancer.
02:22:11.000 He's on his way out and he's not eating at all.
02:22:14.000 It's a couple weeks now.
02:22:14.000 He hasn't had a bite to eat in like two weeks.
02:22:16.000 And my cousin takes care of him and he's like...
02:22:19.000 I'm thinking about giving him weed.
02:22:20.000 I'm like, give him weed.
02:22:21.000 Give it to him.
02:22:22.000 He's fucking 80, couple years old.
02:22:24.000 He's got stage.
02:22:24.000 What does it matter at this point?
02:22:26.000 Like heroin.
02:22:26.000 Give whatever the fuck he wants to put him at rest.
02:22:29.000 He's like, I think I'm going to give him weed.
02:22:30.000 I'm like, let him smoke some.
02:22:32.000 He used to smoke a pipe.
02:22:33.000 Let him smoke a little bit.
02:22:33.000 So he goes down and he gives him some weed and he smokes it.
02:22:37.000 And he's like, I'm just going to stay here with you for a few hours.
02:22:40.000 And A few hours go by.
02:22:42.000 He's like, how do you feel?
02:22:43.000 He's like, I don't really feel anything, but I'm tired.
02:22:45.000 I think I'm going to go to bed.
02:22:46.000 And the next day, my cousin goes back to see him with some more weed.
02:22:49.000 And he's like, how was last night?
02:22:50.000 He goes, I didn't feel weird.
02:22:52.000 He goes, but I slept like a baby.
02:22:54.000 And he's like, all right, good.
02:22:55.000 Let's try this again.
02:22:57.000 Day two, not eating after almost two weeks.
02:22:59.000 Nothing.
02:23:00.000 Smokes weed.
02:23:01.000 And he's sitting with him for a couple hours.
02:23:03.000 He's like, how do you feel?
02:23:04.000 He goes, you know...
02:23:05.000 I think I could eat.
02:23:06.000 And he ate a fucking plate of spaghetti and meatballs, heavy-ass meatballs, boom, on day two from smoking marijuana.
02:23:12.000 And I was like, keep...
02:23:14.000 Because Maryland's way behind.
02:23:15.000 I think they finally just have their first and only legal dispensary, and he's the prime candidate for that shit.
02:23:23.000 You know what I mean?
02:23:23.000 I'm like, go get him a prescription now and just let him smoke himself.
02:23:28.000 That's one of the saddest things about it being illegal and stigmatized for so long.
02:23:31.000 There's so many people with diseases and arthritis, inflammation, all sorts of problems that have just been told that they can't have this one thing that's going to give them relief.
02:23:44.000 It's not hurting anybody.
02:23:46.000 It's just a plant.
02:23:47.000 I got some CBD cream on my back right now.
02:23:50.000 It fucking works.
02:23:50.000 It's phenomenal.
02:23:52.000 That stuff's amazing.
02:23:52.000 I can't even get over it.
02:23:53.000 No side effects.
02:23:54.000 I'm new to the CBD side of it.
02:23:56.000 And I'm just like, man, it really fucking works.
02:23:59.000 Dude, I carry this shit with me everywhere.
02:24:01.000 Right in the fanny pack.
02:24:02.000 I got this Liberty lotion.
02:24:04.000 This stuff right here.
02:24:05.000 Oh, yeah.
02:24:05.000 I love that stuff.
02:24:07.000 I started using it when I had some tendonitis.
02:24:10.000 I've healed it since, but I had some tendonitis on my elbow.
02:24:13.000 And I started using that, and I was like, ooh.
02:24:15.000 How many times a week?
02:24:16.000 Whenever.
02:24:17.000 You can use it whenever.
02:24:17.000 It doesn't hurt.
02:24:18.000 And the next day you feel, or how pretty quick you feel?
02:24:20.000 Real quick, man.
02:24:21.000 I feel this pretty quickly.
02:24:23.000 Yeah.
02:24:23.000 I had a bit of a pulled muscle on the outside of my hip.
02:24:26.000 It was real stiff, and it was bothering me.
02:24:27.000 I put some of that shit on before I went to bed.
02:24:29.000 I woke up in the morning.
02:24:30.000 I was like, what did it go away?
02:24:32.000 It was weird.
02:24:32.000 I went to bed with it.
02:24:33.000 It was aching.
02:24:34.000 And I woke up in the morning, nothing.
02:24:36.000 Yeah, it's powerful.
02:24:37.000 I just slather that stuff all up on there.
02:24:38.000 It just reduces inflammation.
02:24:40.000 I'm gonna write that one down.
02:24:41.000 And here's the thing, it's one of my sponsors.
02:24:43.000 Here, you can have that one.
02:24:43.000 Thank you.
02:24:44.000 You have that.
02:24:44.000 And here's the thing, it doesn't hurt anybody.
02:24:47.000 No.
02:24:47.000 There's no negative side effects.
02:24:49.000 None.
02:24:49.000 Nothing.
02:24:50.000 You can't get high.
02:24:52.000 I'll give you a gang of that shit.
02:24:52.000 I got a bunch of those.
02:24:53.000 I wish I had more to give you.
02:24:54.000 I love it.
02:24:55.000 I mean, I'm so new to it.
02:24:56.000 I went and got this one that was like super strength.
02:25:00.000 And man, I couldn't believe it.
02:25:02.000 I couldn't believe it.
02:25:03.000 I had a rough patch on an elbow.
02:25:04.000 I was like, I'm just going to say, that shit was calling it a day.
02:25:08.000 It's great.
02:25:09.000 Well, any sort of inflammation diseases, like people that have sore joints and problems with muscles, that stuff's amazing.
02:25:17.000 It just loosens you up.
02:25:19.000 And it doesn't hurt you.
02:25:20.000 It doesn't fuck you up.
02:25:21.000 It doesn't get you high.
02:25:22.000 You feel exactly the same.
02:25:24.000 And some people would take it orally.
02:25:26.000 I take it orally occasionally, but most of the time I just rub it on any part that's sore.
02:25:30.000 But when you take it orally, people find that it relieves anxiety, it helps them relax, and it doesn't fuck you up.
02:25:37.000 You can drive, it's not like you're high, you're paranoid.
02:25:39.000 It just chills you out a little bit, just calms you down.
02:25:42.000 I just got a CBD vape pen.
02:25:45.000 I've tried to vape, so the vape pens don't work well for me, the marijuana ones.
02:25:51.000 Plant works well for my system.
02:25:53.000 Even edibles don't really.
02:25:54.000 I took two stars of death in front of Joey Diaz, didn't do a thing.
02:25:58.000 Shame they don't do anything to you.
02:25:59.000 This fucking guy, he doesn't get high on him.
02:26:02.000 It's weird.
02:26:02.000 Jamie has one of those weird bodies where he can eat, like, what's the most amount of edibles you've ever eaten?
02:26:07.000 1,300 milligrams?
02:26:09.000 1,350?
02:26:09.000 See, here's what I feel like.
02:26:11.000 I feel like I would have to figure out what that number is, go past that point, and then dial it back from there, and I don't really want to go past that fucking point.
02:26:20.000 1,300 is insane.
02:26:22.000 I was trying to test to see what it took to...
02:26:23.000 But that's when you felt it?
02:26:26.000 I don't know that I did.
02:26:27.000 I'm sure I did a little bit, obviously.
02:26:29.000 I had to have.
02:26:30.000 Like, I did it again.
02:26:31.000 I took a thousand and played video games, and like five hours in, it was really tough to play games.
02:26:36.000 I didn't care.
02:26:37.000 I didn't want to sit there anymore.
02:26:38.000 So it's hard to keep my attention on it.
02:26:40.000 So it obviously worked at some point, but I wasn't freaking out or anything like people have described.
02:26:46.000 I can't take more than 100. I go into the hundreds and I start getting weirded out.
02:26:53.000 I'm a 25 to 50 milligram guy because it gives me a little high, just get a little high, and I'm fine.
02:26:58.000 Unless I want to go into the tank, I'll take 100 and go in the tank.
02:27:02.000 But when I get in there, I'm like...
02:27:06.000 And I literally start thinking about things I did when I was 14. Like, why did I say that?
02:27:11.000 Why did I do that?
02:27:12.000 Like, hey man, forgive yourself.
02:27:14.000 You were 14. Stop beating yourself up, bro.
02:27:16.000 You're 14. But I literally will think about stupid shit that I did when I was a little kid.
02:27:21.000 It forces you to examine anything in your life that you might have pushed aside.
02:27:27.000 Yep.
02:27:28.000 You have to come to grips and make restitution and figure out what the fuck you did that for and why did you have those thoughts and why did you behave that way and how are you different now and how have you grown past that?
02:27:40.000 That's the thing about marijuana.
02:27:41.000 It's a really highlight.
02:27:43.000 There's a lot of it People say it makes you paranoid, and it certainly does, but I think a lot of what that is is just making you aware of things you're trying to not think about.
02:27:55.000 It's convenient for you in normal life to not think about those things, but as soon as you get high, marijuana's like, hey, there's some shit that's bothering you, and you're not even thinking about it.
02:28:03.000 Hey, come with me.
02:28:04.000 We're going to the back of your head, and I'm going to shine a light on this.
02:28:07.000 Yeah.
02:28:07.000 Look at all this stuff.
02:28:08.000 What are you going to do with that?
02:28:09.000 Let's address this, motherfucker.
02:28:10.000 How about you clean this shit up?
02:28:11.000 Yeah.
02:28:13.000 Those pens, do you like them?
02:28:14.000 Have you tried them?
02:28:15.000 I have.
02:28:16.000 I'm not a fan.
02:28:18.000 I occasionally will use a pen, but I prefer smoke and joints.
02:28:23.000 That's what I like.
02:28:25.000 That's it.
02:28:27.000 From time to time, I'll clean out my place.
02:28:31.000 I believe in just getting cluttered.
02:28:33.000 It opens up so many different avenues to bring other things in.
02:28:36.000 Instead of Just throwing it all away, I make a game out of it.
02:28:40.000 So I go out to the Pasadena Rose Bowl and I just sell my shit.
02:28:43.000 I just sit there in a parking space in half by myself and I fucking sell garbage.
02:28:49.000 And my goal every time is to sell everything.
02:28:53.000 Whatever I don't sell, I swing by Goodwill, I donate it, and then I'm out of there.
02:28:57.000 How much have you made doing that?
02:28:58.000 Well, I would average $350, which is a solid four or five hour day out there having fun, just yelling at people, watching the goofs.
02:29:06.000 Because you see a lot.
02:29:07.000 It's interesting.
02:29:08.000 It's a weird social experiment because you see the people that are addicts to whatever it is, shoes, belts, leather, whatever.
02:29:18.000 Then you see people who are addicted to the sale.
02:29:21.000 Oh, that's just too good to pass up.
02:29:23.000 I don't need that fucking iron, but it's 50 cents.
02:29:26.000 I'm buying that motherfucker.
02:29:27.000 You know what I mean?
02:29:27.000 And you're like, wow.
02:29:28.000 So you see, you're like, oh, okay, you want all my leather goods.
02:29:33.000 They'll come running to you for musical instruments and jeans.
02:29:36.000 That's the first wave of people.
02:29:38.000 They're sprinting through.
02:29:39.000 You have jeans, you have musical instruments.
02:29:41.000 So I just take shit.
02:29:42.000 My average was $300.
02:29:43.000 My daughter's mother, I was like, I'm just going to sell all our shit.
02:29:47.000 And she's like, you're not going to make a lot of money.
02:29:48.000 I'm like, I'll make at least $350.
02:29:50.000 It's a fun day.
02:29:51.000 Throw it toward some baby stuff, you know?
02:29:54.000 So I go out, and you've got to get out there before the sun's up.
02:29:59.000 And you've got all kinds of people out there.
02:30:01.000 They're praying to Mecca before the sun comes up and shit.
02:30:04.000 You're like, wow, this is a whole universe of different fucking people.
02:30:07.000 Not only the sellers, the buyers.
02:30:09.000 And this is the Rose Bowl?
02:30:10.000 It's the Rose Bowl.
02:30:11.000 It's the second Sunday of every month.
02:30:13.000 What do they call it?
02:30:14.000 The Pasadena Flea Market, and it's at the Rose Bowl.
02:30:16.000 Do you have to have a license?
02:30:17.000 You buy a permit, and basically your space is a parking space and a half.
02:30:22.000 That's all you get.
02:30:23.000 It's narrow.
02:30:23.000 So people are right on top of you.
02:30:25.000 So I pull the truck in and then I just set everything up behind it so I can chill on the truck.
02:30:29.000 And I just put blankets down.
02:30:31.000 I'm like, $5 blanket!
02:30:32.000 I just start yelling everything.
02:30:33.000 Like, got books!
02:30:34.000 Got CDs!
02:30:35.000 People still buy cassettes.
02:30:36.000 When are you doing this again?
02:30:37.000 I'm ready to do it now.
02:30:39.000 I got so much to go.
02:30:40.000 Yeah, I want to watch.
02:30:41.000 It's so much fucking stuff.
02:30:42.000 So I get out in the lane and also play a game to like a friend of mine he would go once in a while I'm like alright let's pick the fucking item you should never be able to sell but our goal is you got to fucking sell it we had I had a VHS self prostate exam a VHS cassette and I was like I'm gonna sell this he's like you're definitely not gonna sell that today and I packaged it with a little roll away and I was like by the way this is a hilarious Father's Day prank she's like that's great how much I was like a buck bought it boom But I just get out there and I yell,
02:31:10.000 you know, because I sold a leather jacket, a nice one, and this guy came sprinting.
02:31:14.000 Do you have any more leather goods?
02:31:15.000 I'm like, I'm not.
02:31:15.000 No, I just had one leather jacket.
02:31:17.000 And I'm like, I'm out there like, so my whole thing is I set it all up.
02:31:22.000 And I don't bring plant because you can smell that a mile away.
02:31:25.000 So I bring these little, you know, that brought this vape pen.
02:31:29.000 And I'm hitting the fucking thing and I'm hitting the thing and I'm all set up now.
02:31:32.000 I got a $10 table, a $5 blanket and shit.
02:31:35.000 And whatever doesn't sell by about 11.30 noon, now it's a $2 blanket.
02:31:39.000 Now it's a dollar blanket.
02:31:41.000 Everything's a dollar!
02:31:44.000 Who are you bullshitting?
02:31:45.000 And they come running over.
02:31:47.000 And they'll buy books.
02:31:48.000 I'm like, can I get four of these for a dollar?
02:31:49.000 I'm like, yup.
02:31:50.000 So I'm hitting this vape pen, and I start to feel this weird sensation in my chest, and it spreads to my arms, and it's almost like I'm almost powerless.
02:32:01.000 I can't raise my arms.
02:32:03.000 And I see the circle start to close.
02:32:05.000 And I'm like, oh, no.
02:32:07.000 I'm by myself.
02:32:07.000 I'm like, there's no fucking way.
02:32:09.000 Breathe through this shit.
02:32:10.000 And I'm just like, don't pass out.
02:32:12.000 And I've never passed out, but that circle was fucking closing.
02:32:16.000 And I caught myself.
02:32:19.000 And I was able to keep with it.
02:32:20.000 And I was texting, you know, my daughter's mom, like, some shit.
02:32:24.000 You know, it's fucking 6 a.m.
02:32:26.000 She's dead asleep.
02:32:27.000 Like, if you don't hear from me in 30 minutes, you know, I'm texting weird shit.
02:32:31.000 So I sell.
02:32:32.000 I get back to myself, and I start selling shit.
02:32:35.000 And by the end of that day, I fucking sold the table I brought to bring the shit on.
02:32:40.000 I went home with nothing.
02:32:41.000 And I get home, and she's like, how'd you do?
02:32:43.000 And I go, not as good as I thought I would, because I thought I'd make $350,000.
02:32:46.000 So they start telling me that everybody in the apartment complex had bets against me of what I would make.
02:32:51.000 And I was like, what was the top?
02:32:53.000 They're like $150.
02:32:53.000 I fucking threw $650 on that table.
02:32:56.000 I was like, that's a good motherfucking day out at the Rose Bowl.
02:32:58.000 Wow.
02:32:59.000 PS almost died.
02:33:01.000 So I tell my friend about that.
02:33:03.000 He grows marijuana.
02:33:05.000 He smokes from the time he gets up to the time he goes to bed.
02:33:07.000 And I was like, I'm hitting one of these pens this weekend at the thing.
02:33:10.000 He goes, let me tell you how that ends.
02:33:12.000 I go, what do you mean?
02:33:12.000 He goes, I hit one this weekend at a wedding.
02:33:14.000 Same fucking thing.
02:33:16.000 He went into a seizure.
02:33:17.000 Yeah!
02:33:19.000 They took him to a hospital from the way, dude.
02:33:22.000 All these people seizure?
02:33:23.000 Seizured.
02:33:24.000 And I'm like, he said for a good 15 minutes when they were like, you're at the hospital.
02:33:29.000 He didn't know what a hospital was.
02:33:31.000 He said it took him a minute to come back to himself.
02:33:34.000 Wow.
02:33:35.000 So I just recently tried a new one again.
02:33:38.000 I was like, let me just try it like an idiot.
02:33:39.000 But for like a good two weeks, I had that feeling of like I didn't have my strength.
02:33:44.000 You know what I mean?
02:33:45.000 Really?
02:33:46.000 Yeah, it was so weird all across this.
02:33:48.000 You think it's all the vape pen?
02:33:49.000 What is in the vape pen?
02:33:51.000 What is in that stuff?
02:33:52.000 Because there's a bunch of oils and stuff that they use to make that.
02:33:56.000 That's what they all tell you.
02:33:57.000 We can't tell you.
02:33:58.000 I did Todd Glass' podcast a while ago, and I was like, dude, you've had a heart attack.
02:34:01.000 You shouldn't be smoking those pens.
02:34:03.000 And as I'm telling him that story, his producer's got this look in his eye.
02:34:06.000 I can tell.
02:34:07.000 He's like, dude.
02:34:08.000 When did Todd have a heart attack?
02:34:09.000 A little while ago, a few years back.
02:34:11.000 I didn't know.
02:34:12.000 Yeah, young.
02:34:13.000 And his producer was like, step by step, what you're saying to me happened to me.
02:34:17.000 And Todd Glass took that moment.
02:34:19.000 Threw that shit over his shoulder.
02:34:21.000 I was like, dude, get rid of that thing.
02:34:22.000 Yeah, just regular weed's good.
02:34:24.000 That's it.
02:34:25.000 Plant, man.
02:34:25.000 Stop playing around.
02:34:26.000 You don't need anything else.
02:34:28.000 Yeah, the people are always giving me stuff, and I was like, look, I just like joints.
02:34:31.000 And sometimes I like blunts.
02:34:32.000 I like blunts.
02:34:33.000 This is the latest thing.
02:34:34.000 With tobacco on the outside?
02:34:36.000 Yeah.
02:34:37.000 See, I don't like that.
02:34:38.000 I like it.
02:34:39.000 The thing I never liked about the blunts was I really like the taste of weed.
02:34:43.000 And that old Philly's, like that wrapper, it dominates the flavor.
02:34:48.000 Right.
02:34:48.000 It's like cilantro.
02:34:49.000 You know what I mean?
02:34:50.000 You don't taste anything but that.
02:34:51.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:34:52.000 I love Gino.
02:34:53.000 He's got the shit.
02:34:55.000 And that stuff is this stuff.
02:34:57.000 It's got some sort of a nice tobacco leaf outside, but powerful weed inside.
02:35:05.000 You just gotta be careful how many hits you take.
02:35:07.000 Yeah, I bet.
02:35:08.000 Yeah, that fucking looks...
02:35:09.000 But it gives you a little elevated thing, too.
02:35:12.000 Charlie Murphy was always into them.
02:35:14.000 That's how I first got introduced to blunts.
02:35:16.000 I was hanging out with Charlie.
02:35:18.000 We did a tour together and we would get high together.
02:35:20.000 Charlie was always rolling blunts.
02:35:22.000 I was like, alright, I'll try it.
02:35:23.000 I tried it.
02:35:24.000 I was like, wow, this is interesting.
02:35:25.000 I'm like, it's different.
02:35:26.000 It's like, it's different, right?
02:35:28.000 It's different.
02:35:28.000 It's like, it's weed, but it's also something else, you know?
02:35:31.000 It's got a little extra kick.
02:35:33.000 But yeah, this pen thing and just people are always trying to find new ways to get fucked up.
02:35:40.000 Like, there's enough ways.
02:35:42.000 They're already established.
02:35:42.000 Yeah.
02:35:43.000 The joints are the best.
02:35:45.000 I mean, I was telling you about those doctors when we were talking before the show, and the thing he said about smoking a bowl is just, the only thing you have to worry about is the butane you're sucking in from the lighter.
02:35:57.000 True.
02:35:57.000 It's not the, you know, smoking in glass, don't put it in like...
02:36:00.000 You can taste it.
02:36:01.000 Yeah, you can absolutely...
02:36:02.000 I just saw a lighter the other day at a shop that was alcohol.
02:36:04.000 I've never seen that before, and I don't know if that's any better for you or not, but it was an alcohol lighter instead of a butane lighter.
02:36:11.000 I imagine it would be better.
02:36:12.000 But I've used matches before for that very reason, because I could smell...
02:36:15.000 Yeah.
02:36:16.000 Yeah, like that's with cigars.
02:36:17.000 Like, you're not supposed to light a cigar with a butane lighter.
02:36:20.000 They stink.
02:36:20.000 Right.
02:36:21.000 And you're supposed to light it...
02:36:22.000 The real cigar dorks, they'll take a cigar, or a lighter, rather, and they'll light a piece of cedar.
02:36:30.000 And then they use that piece of cedar to light the cigar with.
02:36:33.000 So there's no bullshit.
02:36:35.000 No bullshit fumes.
02:36:37.000 They'll take a match, light the cedar, and then take that cedar, light the cigar.
02:36:42.000 Yeah, I'm not a blunt fan, though.
02:36:44.000 But I get it.
02:36:45.000 I've smoked enough of them, but I'm like, I really like the taste.
02:36:47.000 That's why I like joints, because you can taste the weed.
02:36:50.000 I enjoy the taste of marijuana.
02:36:52.000 Yeah, I do, too.
02:36:53.000 Especially the good California weed.
02:36:55.000 The stuff we're getting today, it's like, whew.
02:36:57.000 It's nuts.
02:36:58.000 It's nice.
02:36:59.000 We live in a good time.
02:37:00.000 We do live in a damn good time.
02:37:01.000 We live in a good time for pot.
02:37:02.000 Mm-hmm.
02:37:03.000 I gotta wrap this up.
02:37:04.000 It's 3 o'clock.
02:37:05.000 Ryan, you're a good man.
02:37:06.000 I'm glad we finally did this, brother.
02:37:07.000 Yeah, thank you so much, man.
02:37:08.000 Let's do it again.
02:37:08.000 I would love to.
02:37:09.000 Tell people about your podcast.
02:37:10.000 Crab Feast?
02:37:11.000 Yeah, the Crab Feast.
02:37:12.000 Go to thecrabfeast.com.
02:37:13.000 Subscribe.
02:37:14.000 Every Tuesday we're out.
02:37:15.000 And I'm Ryan Sickler on all social media, ryansickler.com.
02:37:18.000 Who can they catch you on tour?
02:37:19.000 Hilarious stand-up comedian, too, by the way.
02:37:21.000 Right now, I'm just in L.A. I'm at the Comedy Store.
02:37:22.000 Actually, tonight, I got some dates.
02:37:24.000 I'm at...
02:37:25.000 What time are you at the store tonight?
02:37:27.000 I'm 10.30 tonight.
02:37:28.000 I'm there next week in the main room at 8.30 on the 14th, and I'm at the Hollywood Improv on the 16th.
02:37:34.000 Woo!
02:37:35.000 That's it, folks.
02:37:36.000 Goodbye, everybody.
02:37:37.000 See you fuckers in Chicago.