In this episode, the boys talk about Ari Shafir's speed rapping, beer, and the weather in Australia. Also, we talk about the fact that Ari is a comedian, not a rapper, and that he thinks he's a comedian because he's not a comedian. We also talk about how cold it is in Australia and why we don't like it in the winter, and why it's a good thing that it's not snowing in New York City right now. And we talk a lot about Pabst Blue Ribbon, which is a weird thing to talk about, but we do it anyway. Enjoy, and spread the word to your friends about this podcast! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Thank you for listening and supporting this podcast. Please don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts, and tell a friend about it! If you like what you hear, please leave us a rating and review! We'll be looking out for you in next week's mailbag! Peace, Love, Blessings, Cheers! Cheers, EJ & Rory. - The Cheers. - EJ, Rory, AKA The Cheapskis. xoxo - P.S. (Music by Jeffree Starz) (featuring Ari Shaffir) ( ) (Music Credit: Jeffree ( ) (Music credit: ) (Song Credit: Music Credit: "The Good, The Good, Bad, The Bad, the Good, the Bad, and The Bad and The Ugly ( ) & The Bad ( )( ) ( ) Music: "Mr. Goodbyes ( ) and the Bad ( ), "The Bad ( & The Good ( ) - ( ), and the White House ( ) is ( ( ) - "The White House ( ] ( ). (Song: "I'm Not Even Though It's Too Cold ( ) [ ] ( ) " ( ) , ( & , Thank You, I'm Not a Good Thing ( ) ) ( & ( . ) & ( ) . ( , ) - "Alyssa ( ) Is Too Cold in April ( ) / (?) ( ) -- ( ) ),
00:03:37.000Mark Norman had a theory that was proven wrong, I guess, that Prince, when he died, he died of the last of the 80s AIDS. Yeah, he said he's been fighting it hard because of the money, but he got it back then.
00:03:59.000They did it in Australia when I was there.
00:04:02.000They do it in the UK and some places where you just come in, they chip off the smallest amount, and they text you if your stuff is safe or not.
00:05:11.000But people, way more people drink than do drugs.
00:05:15.000Right, but they don't do it because it's like a new thing.
00:05:20.000No, not because it's new, but because it's so easy to get that it's just there.
00:05:22.000I'm saying, you've got to thank some people that never would have done it.
00:05:25.000I have conservative friends from high school that never would do it, but if it was on the same level as alcohol in 20 years, they'd be like, you know, I guess my all my friends are doing it.
00:07:06.000These monkeys that were experimental, the human monkey, started eating these things and then started developing language skills, more sophisticated hunting, better visual.
00:07:15.000Because the visual perception, especially in low doses, it actually increases acuity.
00:07:20.000It's been proven in scientific, double-blind, placebo-controlled studies.
00:07:26.000Increases your ability to recognize when things are shifting.
00:07:29.000Like say if you have two lines and one of them slightly shifts, like maybe a half of 1% angle, the people that were on mushrooms could see it.
00:07:35.000You ever see a clock and be able to see the minute hand move?
00:07:38.000Like get zoned in where you can like slowly sort of see it move?
00:07:41.000I've done it a couple times, but it's when I was little.
00:09:40.000I've told everybody, man, out of all my friends that, you know, quote-unquote made it, that became successful, you went the full whole hog.
00:09:48.000You're like the one who never got caught in any of the trappings.
00:10:27.000You've got the most freedom out of all my friends.
00:10:30.000We were talking about it with Bert and Renazisi, and they were like, we were talking about what we envy of each other's lives, you know, their family life versus my whatever life.
00:10:37.000And they were like, Bert was like, what do you think I envy about you, Ari?
00:12:14.000It's a really interesting book where they analyze performers in different venues, different things that they do, different sports, different arts.
00:12:53.000When you do a weekend, don't you feel like if you do Thursday, Friday, Saturday at a comedy club, Saturday night, late show, you're fucking gliding.
00:13:37.000You're just doing it over and over again all the way.
00:13:38.000I think in the beginning of stand-up when you're starting, I think lots of sets are good because then you learn how to win over a crowd a bunch of times.
00:13:45.000So three new crowds is better than one 45-minute set.
00:13:53.000Well, this is what I was getting to with that Talent Code book.
00:13:55.000A lot of it is on development of skills.
00:13:57.000It's talking about how many amazing Brazilian soccer players came out of this one area, and they were trying to figure it out, and they realized, oh, it was, they have this other game that they play with a smaller, heavier ball, and it's harder.
00:14:08.000And so they do that game, and it's like in close, they'll do it in like a room, like a small room, like this room.
00:15:43.000This is just America We spend all so much time in this bubble, but when you were out there for like four months you came back It was almost like you were like, oh, okay And I think as a human is this and I think this is one of the things that happens Bad to comedians when they become successful,
00:15:58.000which is one of the reasons why they drop off They get really famous, really powerful.
00:16:25.000Like, I'm in the stage right now, the write a new act stage, where my act's terrible right now.
00:16:31.000I still have the old material that I'll have to abandon when October comes around, the special airs.
00:16:38.000But until then, I'm just developing shit, and the new stuff is like, I've got six new minutes that are worth hearing.
00:16:44.000And then a lot of stuff is just fucking super clunky.
00:16:48.000But if you don't do it, if you don't scare yourself, and if you don't experience new things, you have to know whether your stuff's any good, okay?
00:16:58.000And if you're not looking at it, not paying attention, it happens to a lot of famous comedians.
00:17:03.000Their specials, as they get older, get softer.
00:18:55.000Okay, here's what I was going to say about that in terms of just, like, Kinniston being a character of himself.
00:18:59.000So he went crazy, but before he went crazy, there was a thing he used to do where he would go to the bartenders and take, like, glasses off and then just, like, staring them down and just chuck it in the garbage just to, like, fuck with them, you know?
00:19:11.000And then when he went crazy, I mean, literally crazy, he sort of half-remembered doing that, but to different parts, so he would just take them and kind of, like...
00:19:20.000Throw them in the garbage, but not kind of even know why he was doing it.
00:19:23.000He was just like a hollowed out version of himself.
00:20:32.000These Brazilian soccer players from, what is his name, Daniel Coyle?
00:20:36.000What's the author's name, Daniel Coyle?
00:20:39.000When he talked about these Brazilian soccer players playing in this tight room, the skills they developed in this really tight environment helped them in the big game.
00:20:47.000I think life is like what the training ground for stand-up is.
00:20:51.000And if your life is the same boring shit, calling your agent, you know, what do we got for me?
00:25:09.000So now, when they've been socialized by a patriarchy to not accept that, then they go into an environment where it's only failure and they go, I don't want to do this.
00:25:18.000I think if I had to guess, I think stand-up is at least 20 to 25 percent harder for women.
00:25:35.000When it comes to points of view, politics, or advice.
00:25:39.000Anything where a woman is like, like a guy can get on stage and say, listen guys, you want to fucking get your life in order, you gotta stop, blah blah blah, and then the joke's set up and then go on.
00:25:49.000But a woman would have a hard time giving advice.
00:25:55.000I'll say this might be true because when I see young comics, let's not make it gender, just young comics talking about politics, what's going to change.
00:26:02.000Like 26-year-olds, part of me goes, shut the fuck up.
00:26:05.000You don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
00:26:21.000You know, there's like this gender, like, biases that a lot of men have about a woman getting on stage talking, controlling all the attention.
00:27:23.000It's like overall, it's harder for some men, it's way easier for them.
00:27:27.000See, that's when they black and white it, that's when you fucking ruin all the arguments.
00:27:31.000It's just like 10% harder, 15% harder.
00:27:34.000I think one of the reasons it is harder career-wise for women I mean, almost all women is because success too early can hurt you in the long run.
00:27:46.000If you start thinking I'm good instead of thinking you're terrible, you don't work as hard.
00:28:22.000But if I'm getting this as a single individual performer, if I'm getting something five years in and I start going, yeah, I'm pretty fucking good.
00:29:37.000I mean, I think if a club has a developmental project like Wendy does at the Comedy Works in Denver, then it might not be a bad idea to have all-girl classes.
00:29:44.000I bet that would give you a bump for anybody who feels uncomfortable and wants to learn how to do stand-up with all- That's one of the reasons it's harder for chicks early on is because there's creeps at open mics.
00:32:00.000There's a bus from New York, and then you just go there, camp, and have a fucking good time, and I'm just laying down on my back, trying to keep my eyes open so my friends went off to the bathroom, like, you'll be here.
00:32:52.000Do you know Louder Than Hell you can't get on CD? You cannot?
00:32:55.000Because it was so homophobic that the people at Warner Brothers, they put it out on cassette, but then they never released it on CD when CDs came on.
00:37:41.000Yeah, but he's like, do you want to see them?
00:37:43.000And he's so worried about them getting upset that they don't hear it, but he's not at all concerned with how they feel about him pledging $10,000 to Children's Hospital and not doing it at all.
00:38:06.000It's like, don't you think that that's a different thing?
00:38:09.000When you have a bit, like a signature bit that you do every time you go on stage and people expect to hear it, that's a different thing.
00:38:15.000Different thing, yes, than regular standard.
00:38:17.000Comedy is like, when I'm watching your set, like say if you have a new bit and I haven't seen it before, I get excited because I don't know where you're going.
00:39:55.000There's such a different thing between feeling something and then forcing everyone around you to hear it and then forcing the artist to react to it.
00:40:04.000The levels of douchebaggishness that it takes to boo!
00:40:20.000In that world of internet trolls, that guy wins.
00:40:22.000Dude, if you could say something for the crowd in the perfect moment of silence, you know, where it just naturally comes up, that's audience member fucking Super Bowl.
00:40:33.000When Patrick Ewing was, like, I think playing with Supersonics, this was, like, way after his prime.
00:40:37.000He's just traveling now to get a couple extra bucks and try to maybe win a title.
00:40:42.000And he went down the lane, put up, like, a finger roll, like, halfway down the lane, and it just kind of went up and airballed and went out of bounds.
00:41:05.000They're the worst when it comes to that shit.
00:41:09.000It's like they feel like since they have a regular job and they paid a lot of money to come see you do that, you better fucking do it good.
00:41:17.000This pussy doesn't want to get off the bench.
00:41:19.000You name them after your town, that means the town owns you.
00:48:24.000See if you can find that fucking thing.
00:48:25.000That's my favorite thing when they do time travel and they go back into prehistoric times and it's all of a sudden like, fuck, everything here will kill me.
00:49:27.000I mean, that fucking thing, the really big one that's in the foreground with that reddish beak, what a fucking creepy thing that would be if you were walking through a field and you saw this nine foot plus tall freaky ass bird staring at you.
00:51:20.000That's the worst when you think you're fucking getting in the line and you like yell something at them, but then when you're in the line you realize all you hear is...
00:52:30.000He's, more than anybody, like, refused to accept that he's famous, so he just, like, walks around normal, and then people start recognizing, oh, yeah, and then he kind of, like, goes away, but, like, he just goes into normal environments all the time.
00:53:34.000Dude, when you see those gacked out people on the sidewalk in New York, you know, just fucking standing up, you know, dozed out or something like that, or just like, you know, nodding off in their own whatever, like daytime, you're like, wow, they are fucked up.
00:53:45.000But now that I've done enough drugs, you realize, like, they're loving it right now.
00:57:19.000You know, when you create this big explosion, this attack on someone from something like that, it's always fascinating to me to watch that go down.
00:58:20.000I'm one of those old dudes that likes old music and old cars.
00:58:24.000Do you see that rap where it's like, I forget who it was, but it was like saying from the white point of view about what's wrong with black people, and then from the black point of view about what's wrong with white people.
00:59:50.000I hear the argument a lot of, like, you wouldn't do this if it was a man, you wouldn't do this if it was a woman, you wouldn't do this if it was black, but it's like, you're not basing it on any set of, it's just like one example versus one example.
00:59:59.000Well, there's no proof that she wouldn't have done that with an eight-year-old white girl.
01:00:03.000I worked at the Beverly Hills Chamber of Commerce.
01:00:05.000And whenever somebody wanted new seating, like sidewalk seating, they had to just get through.
01:00:09.000But all it would take is one housewife from the area to get to stick up their ass about the rules and say, no, no.
01:00:15.000And they're like, it'll be done by 8 p.m.
01:00:17.000There won't be any hurt on the people around us.
01:01:34.000Some people are so antisocial, they just go straight to someone to deal with it instead of just like, hey, it's like when you get a note in your apartment door saying something, or the front door, you're like, just come to my apartment and knock.
01:03:05.000And somebody's like, yeah, but what you don't understand is I have a business, and let's say I sell cigarettes, and somebody's undercutting me with no permits right outside, that really hurts my business.
01:03:13.000I was like, okay, sure, I'll give you that.
01:03:14.000Do you think the punishment for that should be choking someone, maybe until they can't breathe?
01:03:19.000And he's like, oh, no, no, that's too much of a punishment.
01:07:45.000He's a smart guy, but he's also getting us to talk about it and getting us to talk about his show, which I'll give him a plug right now because I'm sure it's great.
01:07:51.000He's with Ariel Helwani and Chell Sonnen have a new show It's called Ariel and the Bad Guy.
01:07:58.000You've got to get that ESPN app to get it.
01:09:46.000Look, Rafael dos Anjos went into that octagon with the weight of not just fighting Colby with his considerable skill set, because Colby beat him from fucking round one to round five.
01:09:59.000Most rounds were controlled by Colby's pressure.
01:11:05.000See, for people to appreciate Chael as a fighter, what I say is, you've seen some really good fights, and he's had some recent wins that are very good.
01:12:40.000Yeah, and he dominated him with his wrestling.
01:12:41.000His wrestling, because he talks so much shit, and because he seems so silly when he says, I've never lost a second of any round in any fight.
01:12:49.000This is the KO sequence with Nate Marquardt and Tyron.
01:12:52.000Dude, Nate Marquardt was a fucking assassin at one point.
01:13:20.000Yeah, this is not the sequence where it was the KO. See if you can just get right to the KO. I thought I had it right, and then it started a bit over.
01:13:30.000This was, by the way, very different Tyron Woodley, I should say, too.
01:14:24.000And dominated him when he was in this era.
01:14:27.000Tell me what year was this fight and what year was Chael's fight against him in the UFC? So, Chael had some serious skill too, particularly with his wrestling.
01:18:16.000Yeah, and there's like real talk about how this is crazy because Asian people for, by, alright, this is a generalization and I'm trying not to be racist, but...
01:18:27.000Generally speaking, Asian students are known as working very hard, and they're very dedicated, and they're very successful.
01:18:35.000And their representation is overwhelming in terms of their numbers in the population.
01:18:56.000While this is all happening, I'm not saying that they're not socially conscious, but while this is all happening, they're not protesting it the way maybe other groups that felt marginalized, whether it's people of color or trans people or gay people, whatever it is that don't feel represented or discriminated against,
01:19:11.000they would be shutting down Conferences and yelling down speakers and shouting out in the hallway.
01:19:19.000But the Asians, the whole reason why they kick ass is because they don't spend any time on petty bullshit.
01:19:25.000So because of that, Harvard, fucking Harvard, is saying, hey, we're going to be racist against you because we know you're not going to complain.
01:20:03.000It's a crazy way of thinking, but it's all in this idea of diversity.
01:20:06.000Like, instead of treating people as individuals, instead of just saying human beings, you have to have each class represented by a certain amount of people.
01:21:09.000It says, students for fair admissions has accused Harvard of intentionally discriminating against Asian American applicants by limiting their admissions numbers.
01:21:17.000So they're limiting the numbers of agents.
01:21:34.000But this is the argument, and this is the argument that many, many, many people have made.
01:21:38.000Now, I haven't really personally researched this, but I know a lot of legitimate intellectuals have brought this up in debates and conversations, and they're saying, look, this is an issue.
01:22:31.000Are they saying you want a normal life?
01:22:33.000You want to develop your normal life, too?
01:22:34.000If you're going through college and everything you're doing all day is studying, and literally you might have some fucking shitty part-time job somewhere to make some money, For food, and then you're studying more, right?
01:22:46.000Maybe you have a part-time job, a lot of people don't.
01:22:48.000So if you think about all that time...
01:22:49.000That's not the kind of life I want for my kids.
01:24:04.000And he wasn't physically talented either.
01:24:05.000This guy made it to the to the nationals and he became a national champion and he wasn't even like really really physically talented.
01:24:12.000It wasn't like some freak athlete that just moves super fast.
01:24:15.000He's just fucking unbelievably smart, unbelievably hard worker.
01:24:20.000But I saw the way that guy was living as he was like, I was a couple years younger than him, and he was going through his residency and training and doing all this crazy shit at the same time.
01:24:29.000And I was like, I'm exhausted just watching you.
01:24:32.000Like, I can't see how this could be worth it.
01:28:39.000Dude, I got in an argument with someone about the wage gap.
01:28:42.000And they really believe that men and women work right next to each other doing the same job and the woman is only making 75 cents to the guy's dollar.
01:28:49.000That's what's been put out there enough times.
01:29:19.000Some of these are so – there's studies out there that prove you everything.
01:29:23.000Dave Smith says it's the best with wage gap.
01:29:24.000He's like, so you're telling me I can get the same – I'm a smart businessman who's made a bunch of money and I can get the same level of talent.
01:30:30.000The wage gap is in the number of hours that men work.
01:30:33.000The different jobs that they choose, what they excel in.
01:30:36.000It has nothing to do with two people that are both in the same line, an assembly line or something like that, with the same amount of time, and they both make the same amount of money.
01:30:46.000And one, or rather, the male makes a dollar for every 75 cents.
01:30:54.000Okay, so hearing that information, like I remember when I first heard it, it was like, you can either go, fuck you, you're just trying to fucking shit on women, or you can go, huh, well, I never thought of that, let me look into that a little bit, and then I'll get back to you.
01:31:06.000Instead of immediately reacting, fuck off.
01:31:09.000Well, people get mad, like, that's not what it is.
01:31:11.000Like, yes, it is what it is, and you're foolish if you keep arguing with me, because you don't even know what it is.
01:31:23.000Look, the thing is, no one should be, like, whatever you do, whatever it is, whether it is you make incredible sculptures, or you build cars, or you're a painter, whatever the fuck it is that you do, no one should be able to say that you doing this Definitely should make as much money as doing that.
01:31:47.000No, things are worth what they're worth.
01:31:52.000Yeah, at some point he was ranked, I think, top 15 in the world at his sport, which is the equivalent of, like, I'm trying to even think who would be, like, Carmelo Anthony, I'd say.
01:32:25.000But, like, there's certain people that it's harder to do that job, and the reason why they do it is because they know that it's more valuable.
01:32:34.000So they work harder and they get that job.
01:32:52.000Well, that is the same philosophy, is the reason why women approach, and I say some women, I should say, because they're super hyper-aggressive, career-oriented women that work as hard or harder than men, maybe even harder to prove that they're as tough as the men.
01:33:06.000But they would take the approach that you and I would take.
01:33:36.000You're not doing anything with yourself.
01:33:38.000The problem is, man, they get stuck in this loop of obligation.
01:33:41.000They get stuck in the loop of children and mortgage, and then once you have a car and a nice house, and maybe you want to get a boat, dude, you get stuck.
01:33:52.000And you have all these payments and obligations, and you're not going to work because you have a family, but maybe you always wanted to be a rock and roll singer.
01:33:59.000And you never fucking got a chance to get out of the blocks, and you're living your life in this angry state, unfulfilled angry state.
01:34:17.000Or is there a fucking path out there if you just figure out what you really like to do and just only go that way?
01:34:24.000Because if you go this way, and then I'm going to take a couple years off and go that way for a while, and then I'm going to go back to school and get my degree just so I have something to fall back on, you didn't get any further down the road.
01:34:36.000You're in the same spot you would have been if you didn't do shit.
01:36:26.000When you're on a machine, you just fucking, unless you're listening to a good book on tape or you're watching a good television show or something like that, it's boring.
01:36:34.000But when you're running, you gotta look about where you step in.
01:36:37.000Dude, when you're high and watching some Cartoon Network shit and running, you could go forever.
01:39:44.000That kind of food is just fucking terrible for your body.
01:39:47.000You're just constantly consuming sugar.
01:39:49.000You're putting your body into a state of shock, processing the stuff that's never supposed to be in that form.
01:39:54.000I said Patrice would like chug two candy bars and then pass out his body, which I process it.
01:40:00.000But like, what's going on in his brain?
01:40:02.000This is one of the things I want to say to you.
01:40:04.000One of the things that's fun about you going to New York is you've brought more New York insult style to our conversations and our hangings out.
01:40:13.000Because LA style is like way less insulting.
01:40:18.000But you, like our group text messages that we have with Bert and Tom.
01:40:22.000That's my favorite thing, that group text.
01:42:12.000He would be like, fucking DeRosa can't wear backpacks, because they'd fucking fall off.
01:42:16.000He goes, my favorite one, that you brought that up, he goes, Joe DeRosa can't have a heart-to-heart with his father, because every time his father tries to put his hand on his shoulder, he slides off.
01:43:49.000Anytime you hear somebody say they're going to start writing or they're going to start working out, that's someone who's telling you they are not working out or are not writing.
01:44:19.000It's making me organize stuff in a totally different way.
01:44:22.000It's nice to have like a little column to the left where I put all subject matter and then to the right each one of those will click and it'll show you all the shit you've written on that subject matter.
01:44:31.000So you could move it around like you could you know you could put your your set in order.
01:45:27.000Yeah, you were literally the Asian equivalent of the top 1% that gets into Harvard by just studying religious text.
01:45:36.000I know more about this shit than anybody that I know.
01:45:39.000Javi Lieberman knows some stuff and Ilan knows a little bit, but like Yeah, I was so deep in that I'm like, and I still have friends that are deep in that we like talk about sometimes and the laws that I just, yeah, when my friends ask me like, what's this custom?
01:45:53.000I'm like, and then I see it from a fresh point of view for the first time in 20 years.
01:45:57.000I'm like, oh, it's just because it represents this.
01:46:08.000There's a story of Purim, where Esther...
01:46:10.000I have to go so far back on all these.
01:46:14.000But one of the first feminists in the Talmud, in the Torah itself, was the story of Purim, where Vashti, the queen of the king, not Jewish, was called to say, hey, come in front of my court and show your naked body.
01:46:32.000It was one of the first feminist characters.
01:46:33.000Vashti said no and she was banished and they looked for another princess and it was this Jewish lady that was in hiding about her Judaism forever.
01:47:32.000And the rabbi to kill the dragon, oh, this is the best part, the rabbi to kill the dragon hid under one of the students' beds until the dragon attacked.
01:47:38.000Yeah, so I was like, what is all this?
01:48:19.000In July, I think I'm running a preview show.
01:48:21.000I'm glad you're talking about that because we had always talked about that like years and years ago like you should be talking about that on stage.
01:48:29.000And so then I'm trying to cover all the subjects too.
01:48:31.000So it's like it's not it's weird because I'm not just like building an hour and also I'll get inspired by something else homeless Some guy was feeding rats outside my fucking building Literally luring rats into my fucking building That is so insane.
01:48:46.000Yeah, so there's bits like that I want to do, but I'm like, this won't go in the hour.
01:48:49.000Was it a homeless guy that was doing that?
01:49:33.000And they showed how hard it is to kill them because they send dumb young ones out to eat the poison first and they die and then they avoid it.
01:49:41.000I'm thinking of getting a cat from my backyard.
01:50:13.000Down the middle of the street, on the sidewalk, down the middle of the street, after the cellar late one night, like 2.30, 3 in the morning, and this cop pulls up behind me and was like, and I fucking moved over.
01:51:26.000I'm a little better as a comic 10 years later.
01:51:29.000Well, I think it's also learning how to write things, how to put them in order, how to move stuff around and how to set it up.
01:51:36.000When you're talking about something that's that crazy, what do you think of it now?
01:51:40.000Now that you know so much about it and you've been whatever you would consider yourself, agnostic or an atheist for so long, what do you think it originally was?
01:52:10.000So Baha'i is really interesting because they take this, I don't know if I ever told you this, the Baha'i faith, they take the similarities between all religions, like do not kill is almost in all of them.
01:52:19.000So they go, that must be a truth trait from God.
01:52:21.000And then the churches sort of disseminated and made them weird.
01:52:24.000Yeah, the churches, like you molded those towards your own population.
01:52:31.000So like Christians, the fucking, some of the weakest ones, so they can't eat meat the whole Lent.
01:52:36.000And they go, well, we don't like that.
01:52:55.000Yeah, like some of them changed holidays and stuff.
01:52:58.000Yeah, but you do it to control your own population with laws to help you.
01:53:01.000I mean, don't kill helps you live as a society, so you can be okay with each other.
01:53:06.000So Baha'i takes the similarity between all of them, like don't kill, the story of the flood, that's a real similar thing to lots of religions, so that must be a real thing that happened.
01:53:16.000And then the don't eat pig is like, nah, that's just a Jew thing.
01:55:31.000But then other ones are just ridiculous.
01:55:33.000Now that I'm stepped back and someone will ask me about it, and I'm like, oh, yeah.
01:55:37.000I just start laughing about what the purpose was and how it looks from the outside.
01:55:41.000We've talked about the one that's in the Old Testament where God sends a bunch of bears down to kill kids because they're making fun of this guy being bald.
01:57:15.000Like when they made Star Wars and fucking what's the name was shooting that rudder and it was just open to space because we didn't know yet that like, oh, that'll just kill you.
01:58:37.000Hey, what questions do you want to ask me about Anthony Bourdain?
01:58:40.000Well, I wanted to talk to you about suicidal thoughts, because you are, out of the people that didn't kill themselves, I'm friends with, you are the one who knows the most about it, and you've experienced depression.
01:58:55.000I wasn't close with Anthony Bourdain, but I really liked him a lot.
01:59:18.000And, I mean, I just wanted to know, like, when you were at your worst, when you were having, like, really shitty feelings, like, what could have been anything that someone could have done that could have helped you?
02:00:27.000Like, anybody who thinks that pills are all bad...
02:00:30.000I don't think anything's all anything.
02:00:32.000That's a black and white problem, where there are people like, I talked to Benji once, he was like, they're over-prescribing pills, I'm like, they work for me, and he's like, well, I probably didn't.
02:00:39.000I'm like, no, no, no, just because you think they're over-prescribing doesn't mean they should never prescribe.
02:00:44.000There's stuff that works, and sometimes it works enough for you to just change your way of looking at the world and change your reality, and then you eventually weaned yourself off of them, which is really interesting.
02:00:56.000Well, it's a sprain of the brain muscle, is what's happened.
02:01:02.000It's not like a physical pull like that, but that's really what it is, just a sprain.
02:01:07.000So until you get off it, until you get on a cast of some way, it's going to be real hard for it to heal.
02:03:18.000It's very rarely been the case in the history of comedy that everybody kind of got along and just accepted the fact that everybody does things differently.
02:05:47.000It got to the point where I was like, well, I got one bagel left, some peanut butter, and a little bit of Cheerios, and fucking let's do this.
02:05:53.000It was glorious, but it wasn't helping me.
02:06:46.000And if you're not having it, your brain is lying to you.
02:06:49.000Or it's giving you a version of reality that's like...
02:06:53.000I mean, I saw this last night coming home from the airport, from Burbank Airport, and some lady picked up in an Uber, picked up a guy on the wrong side of the fence.
02:07:02.000And she goes, sorry, it's my first time here.
02:07:04.000But, like, it's one of those little fences you can just step over almost, you know?
02:07:08.000And he's like, well, everyone else is going here.
02:07:10.000And she's like, yeah, sorry, it's my first time at the Burbank Airport.
02:07:12.000And you can't go to walk 10 seconds to where it's an opening.
02:08:44.000Where you're just like, you're just so sick of it after a while.
02:08:50.000I will tell you that I have read about it and they say the people who talk about suicide are sort of different than the people who are thinking about it quietly.
02:08:59.000Thinking quietly is way more often to commit it.
02:09:04.000I think they say the people talking about it is a way to seek help.
02:11:50.000So it's weird that you, like, miss this horrible way of being.
02:11:56.000Because you had to figure out a way to, like, make a positive in this.
02:12:00.000And you see this a lot in, like, PC culture.
02:12:02.000We start sort of not bragging about your victimization or the things that have happened to you, but, like, it's a way to stand out and be a special.
02:13:59.000Well, they get outside where they get rained on.
02:14:01.000Yeah, so it's just like, you're just feeling down.
02:14:04.000I remember Duncan and I were filming something up there when we were doing that Bigfoot episode, and we were talking to this guy who was a cop who was the security guy for the set, and he was like, dude, it fucking wears on you.
02:14:14.000He was at the end of the rainy season.
02:14:17.000It was just starting to get warm again.
02:16:43.000I saw somebody post on Facebook once, where it was like, one of the worst things about depression is everybody going, yeah, I've been through that too.
02:16:55.000Give me my props for my individual suffering.
02:16:57.000Yeah, so then it's like, you want to help by somebody saying, yeah, I've been through this, but it's like, it's not even helping them, but like...
02:17:03.000And who the fuck knows what they're feeling, right?
02:17:06.000That's the other thing about a person's feelings, what they're feeling.
02:18:02.000I mean, you can definitely do it and pull it off, and we do.
02:18:05.000And, you know, occasionally you'll have a couple of drinks, and then the next day you won't.
02:18:08.000But if you're doing that all the time...
02:18:11.000If you're doing it every day, if you're doing it five days a week...
02:18:14.000A lot of people use that because it's a short-term relief from depression, long-term depressant.
02:18:18.000So a lot of people use alcoholism to cover up the depression, and then when they get clean, suddenly all the shit they're supposed to have been dealing with is now still there and not being covered up by alcohol.
02:20:03.000I find when talking to comics, other comics, because now I feel a little guilty for success around people that are also quite funny who don't have it.
02:20:14.000And what I found is that you get this frustrating point right around 8, 9, 10, 12 years of comedy where like Your skills have gotten better, and your monetary career has not gotten better.
02:20:26.000So your artistic career is booming, and then you're just not even making a living.
02:20:30.000And it's the most frustrating, because I'm finally good.
02:20:32.000At open mic level, if I could make a good joke, that's a win on its own.
02:20:36.000I made a good joke tonight, this week, or one time this month.
02:20:40.000But there, it's like, I'm doing so well on stage, I'm killing.
02:20:43.000Why am I... Why am I still working this day job?
02:20:46.000Why am I not even ever on TV? Why am I, you know?
02:21:46.000Yeah, a good person gets to stay in it.
02:21:47.000Not that he needs us, but I... And also, with Tom, when you tell people about someone who's really funny, whether it's you or whoever it is, then they trust you.
02:22:00.000They know that you're telling the truth.
02:22:02.000Like, if I tell them, hey, Joey Diaz is the funniest guy that's ever lived, and you go see him at the Ice House one night and come out of it, you're bleeding from your internal bruising from laughing...
02:22:13.000I love guaranteeing people on Twitter or whatever.
02:23:50.000Yeah, but if you inspire someone and say to them, listen, I know you're looking at it this way, but this is why this is going to hurt you by approaching it this way.
02:23:57.000You're going to do the same thing, but instead of approaching it the way you're approaching it, stop and just for a shift of perspective, think about it in a positive way.
02:24:04.000Like you could do that to people, and sometimes you can actually shift the way they look at something.
02:24:08.000Because a lot of times it's the way you're approaching something that's pissing you off about it.
02:24:12.000And the way to get through sometimes to people is not to tell them this is the way you should do it, but just to paint the picture and let them make their own decision.
02:24:32.000And in raising kids, one of the things that I learned that works really good is anytime they do anything, I tell them, I fucked up way worse than you.
02:25:44.000Like something helped me, I don't know if people are listening or they're going through it or whatever, but like some things that have helped that I was able to take was, I had one therapist who said one good thing where he's like, imagine the good things out of the depression.
02:33:58.000There's a picture that I had of him that I put up on my Instagram page of him holding this white guy's head and this guy's like cumming in his pants.
02:34:47.000I'm on episode four now, and I don't want to give anything away in terms of how it goes down, but it literally keeps ramping up and getting more and more fucking insane.
02:35:25.000It's super low because what this is is they what the government had stepped in and realized that there's some shenanigans going on and they were essentially there was no separation of church and state because the church was the state right they had a government and police force that was run by the church they called it the peace force And the whole cult basically ran the town except for a few diehards who didn't want to give their houses up.
02:35:48.000So there were some folks who had been living in Antelope their whole life.
02:36:27.000This is what they're charging her with.
02:36:29.000I feel like there's more to this story than I can tell.
02:36:32.000I don't know, man, but it's weird that people are so susceptible to cults and that we protect people from cults but don't protect people from religions.
02:38:20.000If people want that, the only difference between that and like a full-time community is that you would have to figure out a way To get everybody to get along forever.
02:41:04.000Yeah, they're not those sex cults, but they are like, everyone has a job, we're all working for, nobody makes money here, everybody makes 20 bucks a week, whatever it is, you know, room and board is paid for.
02:41:14.000And that makes people feel really good.
02:43:34.000I didn't know what it feels like, and I didn't know what would be the path to take.
02:43:40.000But when you offered that you were having problems with your psychiatrist and the medication, and I said, okay, well, let me get a hold of Matt, who I know will know the right people.
02:43:50.000Yeah, I think you were like, why don't you see someone?
02:44:44.000So when you were when you were telling me that you were doing bad and it wasn't you weren't feeling good and you were you were telling me you were suicidal I was like okay stop we gotta now this is we're gonna figure this out you know I don't know what to do yeah we're gonna figure this out made me nervous because I was nervous that I wasn't gonna be there when you needed me to be there and you know and you I would just I would just get the call just get the call yeah I mean,
02:45:14.000as a friend, that's the last thing you want to do is have some situation where you feel like maybe you could have called them, and you could have made them feel better, and they would have just gotten over that hump, and then they would have been okay.
02:45:27.000I mean, you were my most depressed friend, and now you're probably one of my happiest friends.
02:45:32.000Even after I started seeing that guy, it still took months before finding the right pill and the right dosage, and then he would talk to me every, like, 30 days or whatever it was.
02:45:42.000Yeah, I remember you describing the process, and one of the things that was disconcerting to me was how random it seemed to be.
02:45:53.000I felt like if you, like, say, you know, you had an infection, they know which antibiotic works best on that infection, boom, they give it to you.
02:46:09.000Yeah, this is like, from what I gather, There's two things that could be wrong with you.
02:46:14.000You either have too much dopamine, too little dopamine, too much something else, or too little something else.
02:46:21.000And so each of these pills, I think they're into two categories or four categories, and they either affect your dopamine or they affect the other thing.
02:47:55.000Whether or not you think she should have used those words, and by the way, that lady does look fucking Jewish as shit that she was talking about.
02:48:01.000But to say it's not a joke, let me just explain to everybody, as a professional comedian, as an expert in this, when someone says, this person looks like a mixture of this and this, that is joke form.
02:49:36.000It's so easy to put somebody as one action.
02:49:38.000This is something I read in a biography or conversation with Aung San Suu Kyi, a Myanmar leader that was like house arrest for 20 years, won a Nobel Peace Prize or Nobel Prize for writing.
02:49:52.000And she was talking about the Burmese army who tortured her, had killed and arrested forever a lot of her colleagues.
02:50:01.000And it was like, look, they're not all bad.
02:50:36.000And it's also, there's targets where people see someone who is a Roseanne, who's like some sort of cultural icon, and they like to shift it on them and attack them.
02:53:44.000There's a gang of those on street fight videos.
02:53:47.000There's a bunch of street fight videos and some of the craziest ones are in bad neighborhoods where someone gets knocked out and then a bunch of people take free shots on him while he's down and out.
02:53:59.000As a person who understands brain trauma, it's severely disturbing.
02:54:04.000When I've talked to so many of these neuroscientists about all these blunt force impacts on the brain, you're seeing a guy who's totally unconscious and they walk by and soccer kick him in the head while he's totally unconscious.
02:54:15.000Just take turns hitting him full blast in the face and a bunch of people do it.
02:54:20.000I mean, he's out cold with his pants down and they are kicking him in the head.
02:54:25.000I don't think people realize the effects that one of those e-rages can have on your psyche.
02:54:33.000And I think when people, they see something like the lion guy or the dude who fucking caught the foul ball in the Cubs game or fucking Metzger or anything like that.
02:54:42.000Or this lady with the eight-year-old girl.
02:54:45.000It comes at you from everything, everywhere.
02:55:25.000It's not an easy thing to get over and you don't see it all, but it's so much.
02:55:31.000I mean, Ren Zizi Stark, I called him and his wife and I'm like, get offline right now.
02:55:35.000Ralphie too, when that shit was happening to him, it was like, you need to give this to someone else because it won't do you any good, even if you know you're wrong.
02:55:42.000Renizzisi apologized to all of us six years earlier.
02:57:29.000We've walked with them from the park enough times and we taught our kids enough to where we trust that they can come home from the park alone.
02:57:41.000Most people who read it, 90% of the people who read it go, yes, parents should be allowed to trust when their kids are trained enough to do things.
02:57:48.000Like driving at 16, that's a parent's decision.
02:57:56.000And those people reached out on Twitter or on Facebook and said, fuck you, you should have your kids taken away from you.
02:58:00.000And that 10%, even though 90% said, yeah, parents should be able to teach their kids whatever, that 10% means thousands of people coming at you saying you're a horrible teacher, you're a horrible father.
02:58:12.000Imagine that if thousands of people say, fuck you, you're a bad father, you're ruining your kids.
02:59:56.000We're stalled out in our cultural evolution in a way that I feel like we're in these movements of change, and I think I see a lot of positive things, but I don't see nearly enough friendliness and compassion.
03:00:10.000I think we really need more of that as human beings.
03:00:36.000But what I can do is, every time I read one of these blogs that make me angry, just go, I probably don't have the whole story on this, because that's happened 20 times already.
03:01:37.000It's like, you can't be violent against someone.
03:01:39.000And they used to go, well, look who your, let's say it was like a dice type act, and then some of those people were like hardcore KKK people.
03:03:03.000If you go to what harm is, are we just talking about physical harm or monetary and physical?
03:03:07.000Or now we talk about slight mental harm.
03:03:09.000Well, if it's racism, it's clearly emotional harm, mental harm.
03:03:14.000You're damaging someone's psyche if you're dismissing them in a racist way or you're insulting them in a racist way.
03:03:21.000I think that's one of the things that they were not willing to.
03:03:24.000Here's the problem with saying, okay, so I heard this theory that like- You mean making fun of white people and dismissing white people too.
03:03:30.000Yeah, because like, fuck you white guy.
03:03:40.000Well, it's the tide coming in and out, right?
03:03:43.000The whites owned slaves for so long and it was so fucking oppressive that now as it's shifted back, there's still economic despair in all black neighborhoods because of racist laws and things haven't bounced out yet.
03:03:53.000So you're allowed to go, fuck white people.
03:03:56.000So you're allowed to say, fuck white people until it goes this way and this way and then evens out.
03:04:00.000We've got to the point where you're shitting on Christians, and I'm not a Christian.
03:04:02.000I don't care for them, especially Catholics.
03:05:33.000Oh, so someone's criticism published in the Wall Street Journal is different from those challenges to our work.
03:05:40.000Her critique is predicated on a fundamental misrepresentation.
03:05:45.000She falsely accuses the ACLU of having secretly changed its policy regarding free speech.
03:05:50.000And of launching an investigation to determine who leaked the secret, air quotes, leaked and then quote secret document that she claims revealed this asserted change in policy.
03:06:01.000In fact, the ACLU remains fully committed to defending free speech as the document she cites.
03:06:17.000It was like, I don't know, fucking something...
03:06:20.000And say once there's violence committed because of your organization, you can no longer say you're not a terrorist organization or you can no longer say you have the right to protest when it causes violence.
03:06:44.000Like, well, that guy who killed two cops because of the Black Lives Matter.
03:06:47.000If you're going to say the followers decide whether or not it's – then we have to outlaw Black Lives Matter.
03:06:52.000And the guy was like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, we can't do that.
03:06:55.000He's like, all right, well, then you can't say – Charlottesville people don't have a right to say, go home kikes, you're taking our jobs.
03:07:21.000It will always go to a point where it'd be super, super repressive.
03:07:27.000Well, if one person who is not doing anything wrong can't speak, you've done something wrong.
03:07:32.000Yeah, you could easily compromise a group, too, and turn it into a terrorist organization by infiltrating it, having someone cause violence.
03:07:40.000That's what they did Occupy Wall Street.
03:08:59.000And it just shows you how people go into these things with these idealistic ideas of what they think they're standing for when they don't even have a framework of what they're against, of the policies and the banking and the corporations and capitalism in general.
03:09:14.000There's so many people that do, but most people don't.
03:09:17.000Most people that are there, they're there for the ride.
03:09:55.000We went to college together and she's like, the power, like really in the last month or two, just came back on and it's being held on by a band-aid and hurricane season is starting soon, hurricane season.
03:10:19.000But it's, what is, in the eyes of regular people, like most Americans who are busy with their regular lives, Puerto Rico's not a part of us.
03:11:13.000I wish I knew enough about finances to ask the question, is it possible that the reason why these corporations and these rich Jews want to move there and get such a low tax rate that they have to pay is also why they didn't have the money to recover from this infrastructure being down and so that these two might somehow or another be correlated?
03:11:33.000Or is it just that the hurricane was so fucking overwhelmingly devastating that it just took forever to fix?
03:13:02.000Can you imagine living in a place where the sky becomes an angry monster and just rips houses apart?
03:13:08.000You should have seen some of these fucking torrential rains in East Timor and shit like that, where it's going and like, oh, drop, drop, get the cover now!
03:13:15.000And if you don't get the cover, in a minute, your underwear is soaked.
03:16:19.000She was sneezing and coughing and I was like, what's the matter?
03:16:23.000And they said for some people, if they have allergies to certain allergies, you can get this VOG, this weird fucking fog that comes in that's mixed with volcanic either emissions or, you know, there's a lot of the stuff that these people are in danger of.
03:16:41.000It's not just the volcano itself, but the toxic gas.
03:17:41.000And then comes back and, you know, the general gets fired.
03:17:45.000He loses his job and he's like a beloved general.
03:17:48.000And so Michael Hastings then winds up driving his fucking car into a tree going 120 miles an hour on sunset.
03:17:56.000And the fear was that someone had murked him.
03:18:01.000What they had done is they had hired someone to take over his car because he's got one of them...
03:18:06.000Modern Mercedes, where you can hack into it.
03:18:09.000You can force those things to drive themselves.
03:18:11.000You could literally get into the computer and shift the wheel.
03:18:15.000Hastings found himself on a bus from Paris to Berlin with McChrystal and his entourage.
03:18:19.000The visit, which was supposed to take place in two days, turned into a month, during which time Hastings had considerable access to the general.
03:18:26.000So the big conspiracy theory was that he was murdered.