Joe Rogan Experience #1153 - Macaulay Culkin
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 47 minutes
Words per Minute
192.71938
Summary
Actor Jodie Foster joins Jemele to discuss growing up as a famous child and how she navigated her way through the maze of growing up in the shadow of a famous family. She talks about growing up on the set of a TV show and how it shaped her into the person she is today. She also talks about being the center of attention when she was growing up, and what it was like growing up around people who treated her differently than the rest of the kids on the sets she grew up around. And how she dealt with the pressure of being a star in a world where she was constantly in front of the camera and constantly being the focus of attention. She also discusses how she handled being a famous kid, and the challenges she faced growing up with the attention she received from her famous parents and siblings. And she shares some of her favorite memories from growing up growing up. This episode was produced and edited by Alex Blumberg. Music by Jeff Kaale. Art: Mackenzie Moore. Music: Hayden Coplen. Editor: Patrick Muldowney. Mixing: Haley Shaw. Editing: Will Witwer. Executive producer: Annie-Rose Strasser. Special thanks to John Rocha. Thank you to Rachel Ward and Elijah Wood. Our theme song was written and performed by Ian Dorsch. Additional music was produced by Haley Shaw Wilson. We are airdrops. and produced by Matthew Boll. The theme song is by Haley Brooks. Please leave us a review on Apple Music: "Goodbye Outer Space Traveler" by The Good Morning, Good Morning America, Bad Girl, Good Boy, Good Girl, Bad Boy, and Good Girl Bad Girl by Squeepers, Good Vibez. by Scentless Records, by Joseph McDade and The Good Ol Ol' Boy, Inc., by Fountains of Brooklyn, Inc. -- The Good Lady, Good Life, Good Ol' by Haley and the Good Ol Good Girl by Haley & The Good Place, by Mr. Good Girl Is Good Girl (featuring the Good Lady (feat. ) and The Bad Lady, Bad Little Thing, Good Day, Good Lady & The Bad Little Girl, by Ms. Good Ol by Mrs. Good Lady and The Righteous, Good Lord, Good Little Good Thing, and They Say Goodbye, and The Pussy Cat,
Transcript
00:00:19.000
I know, people always struck at how normal I am.
00:00:25.000
You made it through the maze of being a famous child.
00:00:35.000
I'm almost like a peerless person to a certain extent.
00:00:44.000
Yeah, is there anybody that you ever contacted?
00:00:47.000
Like Jodie Foster or someone who's made it through and seems pretty put together?
00:01:04.000
Like if a comic called me that I knew, you know, they wanted to talk to me, I would talk to them because it's such a small clan of people.
00:01:10.000
I mean, we do have our weekly therapy sessions.
00:01:19.000
Like we all get together and yeah, we weep, you know.
00:01:27.000
I have a friend, Ricky Schroeder, who obviously was very famous when he was young as well.
00:01:37.000
And I was saying, the way you developed is not like the way the recipe calls.
00:01:43.000
Like, the recipe calls for you to have a childhood and try to figure out life and then become a man and try to find yourself and then try to find your path.
00:01:51.000
And by the time he became a man, he was already famous.
00:01:57.000
You were already famous as you were developing and learning.
00:02:03.000
I don't know exactly how to like kind of even describe it because it's always the way my life has been kind of thing.
00:02:10.000
In the same way that like a lot of kids like you know they go out and they You know, catch bugs and play sandlot baseball or whatever.
00:02:20.000
You don't really realize how unique the whole situation is until you have perspective.
00:02:24.000
Because you have nothing to compare it to, really, other than, I guess, TV shows and movies and things like that.
00:02:34.000
But at the same time, it's kind of just, it's not until you get some perspective, some life experience, until you really realize that, oh, wait, this was particularly weird.
00:02:43.000
I think one of the aspects that's particularly weird about it is a lot of kids that grow up famous, they grow up on the set.
00:02:51.000
And they grow up constantly around people who treat them very differently than everyone else.
00:02:56.000
It's that you're famous and you're also the complete center of attention.
00:03:06.000
And that, I think, for a kid, that's a very strange place to be.
00:03:10.000
Yeah, and especially, like, I mean, I, like, when I was a kid, like, even before I started working, I always liked being, like, the center of attention kind of thing.
00:03:20.000
But in general, I never really liked being fussed over.
00:03:25.000
I didn't like the hair, makeup, costume people poking at you all the time.
00:03:30.000
I actually wasn't a huge fan after a while of being that center of attention.
00:03:44.000
In the same way that you do anything that you like, It's weird that child labor laws don't apply to acting.
00:03:52.000
Yeah, I'm pretty well versed in child labor laws.
00:03:57.000
They can work you, let's say like in New York, they can work you 10 hours.
00:04:09.000
At the same time, you have to get three hours of schooling in plus an hour of lunch.
00:04:12.000
So really, your available window is only six hours or something like that a day.
00:04:16.000
And also, in that six hours, they're always setting up the lights for the next shot and the hurry up and wait kind of part of things.
00:04:24.000
That's why the second Home Alone, it took like...
00:04:27.000
Nearly five months to film because they can only, I mean, virtually every scene, and they can only use me X amount of hours per day kind of thing.
00:04:35.000
But isn't that the only job that you can work when you're eight years old?
00:04:43.000
I mean, I guess you can do modeling, you know, but like some kind of performing arts kind of thing.
00:04:51.000
Because I was a ballet dancer before I was an actor.
00:04:58.000
I'm a classically trained ballerina right here.
00:05:02.000
I say I'm a ballet dancer, but there is a weird ballerino.
00:05:09.000
That some of them use, and I'm like, I don't think I can call myself a ballerino.
00:05:25.000
So I did that for a number of years, and there's a bunch of kids that do that, and you get paid, and you do the work.
00:05:32.000
So, you know, there are other, I guess, trades.
00:05:34.000
Yeah, it seems like it's only show business, though, right?
00:05:37.000
I think it's more in the performing arts kind of thing.
00:05:40.000
Like, you know, you don't see a lot of kids working the coal mines anymore.
00:05:47.000
It's like my six-year-old's dying of black lung, you know?
00:05:51.000
There's some horrible pictures from, like, the early 1900s of people actually working in the coal mines when they were little tiny kids.
00:05:59.000
Yeah, I mean, there are no Newsies anymore, you know?
00:06:03.000
Did you have any say in whether or not you worked when you were young?
00:06:28.000
I would just read the lines for the next day or whatever.
00:06:31.000
I would get the gist of what the movie was about.
00:06:36.000
Hit my marks, find my light, you know, and recite my lines.
00:06:42.000
It's kind of just like, again, it's what you do.
00:06:45.000
It's in the same way that kids go to school or something like that.
00:06:53.000
Well, that's the thing about the human mind, right?
00:07:07.000
And I always had like a good memory and things like that.
00:07:12.000
Big and charismatic, and I had a good memory, so I could remember my lines.
00:07:19.000
I'm not going to give any advice to any people about, like, you should put your kid into this line of work.
00:07:24.000
But at the same time, what producers really care about is whether or not you remember your lines.
00:07:35.000
All they really care about is you remember your lines, really.
00:07:42.000
If I ever lost my place, I would just see the script in my head and just read it.
00:08:07.000
Doing some random checkup kind of thing, and they're like, oh, we should scope you.
00:08:10.000
I did the scoping in my stomach kind of thing, but I got a colonoscopy.
00:08:18.000
I was actually hoping, because they were putting me under, so it didn't really matter to me.
00:08:29.000
I was actually hoping they were going to use the butt one first, and then put it in my mouth.
00:08:46.000
Because they were all worried I might have an ulcer.
00:09:02.000
I'm eating less red meat, less carbonated beverages, ibuprofen, no more ibuprofen, that kind of stuff.
00:09:12.000
I used to eat burgers every single day, and now I can have two servings of red meat a week kind of thing.
00:09:19.000
It wasn't too hard for me to curtail my lifestyle.
00:09:21.000
Smoking less, trying to drink less, things like that.
00:09:34.000
Yeah, it's like if you read the list of things that are good or bad for your ulcer.
00:09:45.000
Apparently not, or at least, you know, less so.
00:09:49.000
Yeah, because my special lady friend, she was like, you know, worried about me and stuff, so she was reading up on, like, you know, ulcers and things like that, and it was, like, the first, like, it was like seven things that, like...
00:10:01.000
And all of them were check marks for exactly what I was doing in my life kind of thing.
00:10:10.000
I had just had a neck issue, so I was taking a lot of ibuprofen.
00:10:16.000
Yeah, I've read something about ibuprofen doing it because ibuprofen disrupts gut bacteria, and they believe that gut bacteria...
00:10:25.000
A real recent study, they think that they found a new cause for ulcers.
00:10:37.000
I've just started a new company and things like that, so I have that kind of stress kind of thing.
00:10:45.000
When you say can do it, I think what they were saying was they used to think it can do it, but now they think it's all a matter of bacteria in your stomach.
00:10:56.000
Also, if you, like, I did a movie in Thailand, like, last year, and came back, you know, came back with a worm.
00:11:04.000
So, you know, one of those, like, single cell kind, like, you know, when I was getting the medication for it, I was like, so what do I, what should I expect from this?
00:11:11.000
And he's like, what do you expect you to get better?
00:11:13.000
I go, yeah, but like, you know, what's, like, am I going to shit a worm?
00:11:21.000
But it made me more susceptible to getting ulcers.
00:11:25.000
Is this because of the antibiotics that you had to take for the worm or anti-worming stuff?
00:11:30.000
I think it messes with your stomach chemistry kind of thing.
00:11:45.000
You know, sometimes you kind of get a little pain, things like that.
00:11:49.000
Yeah, like, I mean, at one point I was, like, shitting, like, ten times a day, kind of thing.
00:11:53.000
Like, it was kind of just, like, it kind of loosens your stool a little bit.
00:12:08.000
Also fascinating, right, when you can't see what's going on.
00:12:19.000
Like, you know, I'm experimenting with my stomach, seeing what comes out the other end kind of thing.
00:12:29.000
This has only been in the last, not even two months, in the last eight weeks or so.
00:12:37.000
I made a little list of things that are good for me, to eat, things like that.
00:12:42.000
Make sure I get some yogurt, lots of leafy greens, things like that.
00:12:46.000
What is that ribbon on your jacket that you have pinned to the safety pin?
00:12:56.000
It was a camp, like a summer camp-themed wedding back in, like, almost a year ago.
00:13:03.000
And so, like, they were giving out participation badges, like, kind of thing, because if you participated in things.
00:13:08.000
But yeah, no, everyone always asks me about the ribbon.
00:13:13.000
Yeah, kind of just, you know, like, I mean, I wear, like, all kinds of things.
00:13:16.000
But for some reason, everyone's like, What is that?
00:13:35.000
Usually, for the most part, I'm pretty put together.
00:13:50.000
A cat is you can get a cat together, because a cat can kind of go anywhere.
00:14:14.000
Like, I've seen dogs and cats play with each other before.
00:14:21.000
It's a very special little relationship that they have.
00:14:27.000
We just watch, like, the dog and the cat and stuff.
00:14:38.000
I'm probably going to put some babies in her in a little bit.
00:14:47.000
This one, I'm going to have some pretty babies.
00:14:51.000
She's Asian, so I'm going to have tiny little Asian babies.
00:15:00.000
A bunch of Sean Lennons running around the house.
00:15:10.000
It's almost like I feel entitled to make Asian jokes because I have an Asian girlfriend kind of thing.
00:15:17.000
I do it with her all the time, but I don't do it in public.
00:15:35.000
If you were married to an Asian woman 10, 15 years ago, it would be no problem.
00:15:38.000
I think if I have Asian babies, I'd be allowed to.
00:15:44.000
Well, because I'd have to deal with it every day kind of thing.
00:15:56.000
Yeah, privileged white male, wealthy white male who's famous.
00:16:11.000
They're just warming their fingers up right now to write blogs.
00:16:14.000
They'll probably write a blog about you thinking that you can make Asian jokes.
00:16:20.000
Well, that was one of the things I really loved about her.
00:16:45.000
You can't say it because of the way you drive, bitch.
00:16:50.000
You have to have a really good sense of humor to accept that one.
00:16:55.000
And you have a special relationship where you guys talk to each other like that.
00:16:58.000
And it's like, baby, you are such a good driver.
00:17:07.000
Well, you could tell her, you're a really good driver for, you know, because of, you know, whatever.
00:17:23.000
I'm so not racist, I don't even understand why that's weird.
00:17:29.000
But her family, they're down with, you know, it's...
00:17:36.000
It's just like you're just telling jokes kind of thing.
00:17:39.000
Because I'm the only white boy, like, you know, whenever we visit the family.
00:18:02.000
No, I mean, like I said, it's a single-celled kind of one.
00:18:10.000
And again, my movements weren't all that great.
00:18:15.000
And I remember waking up after about a good week or so of it.
00:18:19.000
We were there for five, six weeks or something.
00:18:32.000
And then, yeah, no, actually, I remember waking up one of those days and I said, I'm pretty sure I have a worm.
00:18:38.000
I go, like, this is probably what a worm feels like.
00:18:40.000
It was almost kind of a mono-esque kind of, like, you know, fatigue, like that kind of thing.
00:18:47.000
Some, like, heavy-duty antibiotics for, like, ten days.
00:18:52.000
Oh, you were on heavy-duty antibiotics for 10 days.
00:18:58.000
The worm doesn't help, and then the heavy-duty antibiotics and all that stuff.
00:19:06.000
I can't pound bourbon like I used to kind of thing.
00:19:39.000
So yeah, that little sucker spent a lot of time and things like that.
00:19:45.000
Yeah, we'd sleep in the bed together and stuff like that.
00:19:58.000
I caught it from an undercooked piece of lamb, actually.
00:20:02.000
It's one of the four ways you can get it kind of thing.
00:20:05.000
Yeah, you can get it from cats, you can get it from undercooked lamb, you can get it through a blood transfusion, and I think the other one is a mother can transfer it to their baby.
00:20:17.000
Believe me, I went to the whole CDC website and everything.
00:20:23.000
A lot of people catch it, but they just have the antibodies for it.
00:20:28.000
I was doing a play in London for like 10 months.
00:20:31.000
And also like kind of going out at night and things like that.
00:20:33.000
So I think my body was kind of just like not at its strongest.
00:20:42.000
It's I got better after about like three months or so, but I didn't get 100% better for about a year.
00:20:49.000
There was a crazy article just written about toxo that it had some sort of impact on people who start up businesses, that more entrepreneurs have toxoplasmos.
00:21:06.000
I got it when I was, like, 20. Makes you more risk-taking, more...
00:21:13.000
Yeah, parasite found in cat poop has been linked to higher likelihood of entrepreneurial behavior in people who get infected.
00:21:23.000
I just launched my own website recently and all that kind of stuff.
00:21:37.000
Like I said, I caught this in like 2000, 2001 or something.
00:21:40.000
Robert Sapolsky, he's a professor at Stanford, and he's a biologist, and he specializes in toxoplasmosis and primate behavior and a lot of other different things.
00:21:58.000
You really should listen to it since you have it.
00:22:02.000
They found a disproportionate number of motorcycle victims, people with motorcycle crashes.
00:22:19.000
And it rewires the sexual reward system of a rat.
00:22:22.000
So it makes a rat horny when it smells cat piss.
00:22:27.000
So it completely changes the cat's sexual reward system.
00:22:34.000
That's the evolutionary advantage, you know, for a cat to have it.
00:22:42.000
The cat into killing the rat and tricks the rat into being horny.
00:22:49.000
There's an evolutionary advantage to that because if you're a cat and you have toxoplasmosis, it's going to attract your prey to you.
00:23:03.000
When the rat's infected, then it smells cat urine and it gets horny.
00:23:07.000
When the cat's infected, it doesn't do anything to the cat.
00:23:10.000
It seems to have no change in the behavior of the cat, but then it gets to people.
00:23:14.000
So it only affects really the behavior of people and rats.
00:23:23.000
It's one of those like forever kind of things, but it doesn't affect me like at all.
00:23:31.000
It was one of those things where I got sick for a couple of months, and then boom.
00:23:38.000
I think you said there's a disproportionate number of successful soccer teams that come from countries that have high rates of toxoplasma infection.
00:23:54.000
So, you're saying you're interested in some toxoplasmosis?
00:24:13.000
Because I don't really pursue acting at all kind of thing.
00:24:16.000
And I'm not saying it was a favor or anything like that.
00:24:18.000
But at the same time, it was like, yeah, sounds like fun.
00:24:29.000
So do you just, like, do whatever you want these days and just occasionally act when it comes up?
00:24:34.000
Yeah, if it comes up, like, you know, if it's a cool, like, neat little gig or something like that, like, yeah, sure.
00:24:38.000
But, like I said, I don't pursue it in any kind of, like, any way.
00:24:41.000
Like, I don't have agents anymore and things like that.
00:24:48.000
You know, like, yeah, like, what it takes to...
00:24:52.000
I don't like being on the circuit kind of thing.
00:25:00.000
I just kind of always have some kind of projects.
00:25:02.000
And then also, like I said, we've got the website, bunnyears.com kind of thing.
00:25:12.000
Like, you know how all these celebrities, especially, like, ladies, they have those lifestyle websites?
00:25:19.000
You know, like, yeah, like, Goop, you know, is one of them.
00:25:26.000
Yeah, that's the, well, that's the thing is that, so this is, this is, like, Goop meets The Onion.
00:25:36.000
They're telling you to put jade balls up your vagina.
00:25:46.000
How to have sex on a beach in a hot tub and other things that seemed fun as a virgin.
00:26:03.000
And we're revving up some more video content and things.
00:26:10.000
Yeah, it's got a lot of really great writers, like comedy writers and stuff.
00:26:15.000
It's kind of just like, oh, there's an article about a jade egg.
00:26:18.000
Like, oh, I put a jade egg up my vagina and I catch a jade bird.
00:26:23.000
You know, what to do about your bird living in your vagina now.
00:26:28.000
We're kind of, like, taking the piss out of, like, you know, some of these kind of, like, lifestyle-y websites.
00:26:33.000
You know, it's like, um, it's like, you know, they'll have articles, like, on Goop about, like, oh, the best Cabernet is, like, for, like, $200 or something like that.
00:26:39.000
And it's like, ours is, like, the best bourbon's under, you know, $20, but then, like, it turns, like, the spelling gets worse and worse, and then it turns into a rant about your ex-girlfriend.
00:26:49.000
Like, like, like, like, So, like, things like that.
00:26:53.000
Like I said, we have a really, really great team of people.
00:26:55.000
And, yeah, it's kind of, like I said, taking the piss out of things.
00:27:03.000
It was kind of, like, kicking it around and so forth.
00:27:04.000
And then I felt like I kind of accumulated enough ideas.
00:27:08.000
And then, yeah, then I started kind of Voltroning it.
00:27:11.000
Like, just grabbing and assembling, you know, like, this project.
00:27:21.000
Like I said, those articles are really well written.
00:27:37.000
And what happens, spoiler alert, is a lot of the people kind of just vanish.
00:27:47.000
So when you start reading the article, all of a sudden, all the words just start vanishing.
00:27:53.000
And then you have to go back, and it's like, yeah, even the letters.
00:27:58.000
We actually had a, we did one where it was a ransom letter.
00:28:01.000
One of our writers, she, her father is actually the therapist for Goop, like the actual psychiatrist, the official one.
00:28:12.000
But is it like a weekly advice therapist, or is it just like therapy just for being on Goop?
00:28:18.000
Like, I know you're here because you're a mess, so here, just read this.
00:28:25.000
So we got pictures of him bound and gagged, and it's like, Dear Goop, we kidnapped your therapist.
00:28:31.000
You can only get him back if you give us your seven hot tips for facial washes for this summer.
00:28:41.000
They responded, and they actually sent us over a list of, like, here are the hot kind of tips.
00:28:48.000
They had a sense of humor about the whole thing.
00:29:00.000
So you're basically financially set from all those movies.
00:29:05.000
But do you just put that money away and just live off the interest?
00:29:14.000
Kind of live the life that my circumstances afforded me.
00:29:24.000
Lots of weird things happen to kids all the time, all around the world, every day.
00:29:53.000
So you're happy that it all worked out that way?
00:29:55.000
If you could go back and do it again, would you do it the same way?
00:30:09.000
Can you imagine if you could just have your brain in a little kid's body?
00:30:25.000
I'm pretty sure that's what Going on 13 was, right?
00:30:32.000
I have no idea what any Jennifer Gardner movies are.
00:30:52.000
So it's kind of a freaky Friday with some time travel, I guess.
00:30:55.000
So you're going to Netflix it tonight, aren't you?
00:31:03.000
You've been thoroughly charmed by Jennifer Gardner, I can tell.
00:31:10.000
Yeah, my friend Jack says I'm a man of leisure.
00:31:12.000
That's the way he describes my life and lifestyle.
00:31:17.000
I kind of spent some time just jumping around Europe or something like that.
00:31:23.000
Yeah, but you lived in Paris, you were saying, for a while?
00:31:33.000
It's only in the last year I've been kind of spending more time in the States.
00:31:37.000
Well, the food sucks, the wine's terrible, and the women are ugly.
00:31:50.000
They were always asking me, When are you going to move to Paris and when are you going to learn French?
00:31:57.000
And I was there just kind of like, I was just kind of jumping around a little bit.
00:32:01.000
And so I thought about it for a second and I went, you know what?
00:32:18.000
I mean, I realized that if I could pick up and just move to France on a whim, and it wouldn't affect anyone's life or it wouldn't hurt anybody, I'd be remiss if I didn't.
00:32:30.000
How many times am I like, I couldn't do that now?
00:32:55.000
It's the leisurely kind of lifestyle a little bit.
00:33:01.000
It's like a light breakfast and it kind of gets heavier as you kind of go along in the day.
00:33:06.000
You kind of eat later, which is kind of like, you know, like, oh, you're American.
00:33:10.000
You must want to eat dinner at like 8. What time are they eating?
00:33:17.000
is like, you know, kind of a, you know, an ideal like dinner kind of time.
00:33:28.000
Yeah, everything is like, yeah, it's like, you know, I'll set up a card game for like 3.30, and 3.30 means like 5. You know, that's just the way, like, everyone's kind of always late, but it's no big deal.
00:33:39.000
I remember one time kind of like, oh gosh, like, you know, just like, where are they?
00:33:43.000
And then I realized, I'm like, wait, what is the hurry?
00:33:52.000
And all of a sudden, stress would just melt away.
00:33:55.000
I'm like, yeah, you can just be more leisurely and stuff about things out there.
00:34:01.000
And everyone's like, like I said, it's really cool.
00:34:07.000
They don't like the loud, obnoxious Americans with the, you know, Mickey Mouse t-shirt and the fanny packs and stuff.
00:34:27.000
I also have a satchel that I travel around with also.
00:34:34.000
It's actually, I do call it my purse, like, you know, in day-to-day kind of thing, because it's like someone's like, oh, it's a satchel or it's a murse.
00:34:44.000
Isn't it funny that you would be insulted or more positive about it if it had a different sound coming out of your mouth?
00:35:02.000
There's a few bold souls that will put on a fanny pack and walk out into public.
00:35:07.000
But there's not a lot of people that will just actually wear...
00:35:13.000
But there's not a lot of people that would wear...
00:35:19.000
I mean, I'm secure enough in myself and everything.
00:35:26.000
I mean, I wear fingernail polish and, you know, I have a participation badge.
00:35:39.000
They do make my fingers a little too feminine if it's done perfectly.
00:35:44.000
When I did that movie Party Monster, I learned a lot of fun makeup-y kind of things.
00:35:48.000
Ways to make your fingers look like they're two weeks old.
00:35:54.000
I could have painted these yesterday and they would look like this kind of thing.
00:36:01.000
I always just liked nail polish, what can I say?
00:36:05.000
But yeah, I'm secure enough to wear a purse or something like that.
00:36:33.000
I mean, you can see that picture, that belt buckle.
00:36:43.000
For some reason it reminds me, it was an old Onion article, and it was one of my favorite headlines, and it was, Johnny Depp found to be 90% scarves.
00:36:52.000
LAUGHTER Yeah, he got way scarf-y after the whole pirate movie thing.
00:36:59.000
He went straight scarf for the rest of his life kind of thing.
00:37:05.000
When you're a beautiful man like that, it's an odd transition to being a 55-year-old.
00:37:22.000
He has a Notorious B.I.G. movie coming out that he's in with Forrest Whitaker.
00:37:29.000
And they haven't even said that it's ever going to come out or something.
00:37:34.000
And even just looking at pictures of him, there's something off about him.
00:37:59.000
He hit that weird spot where you're just too fucking famous.
00:38:05.000
Where you were when you were little, I'm sure, but you can coast now, right?
00:38:21.000
Didn't he spend like $5 million shooting Hunter S. Thompson's ashes out of a cannon?
00:38:28.000
They asked him, didn't you spend a million dollars?
00:38:33.000
That's what they asked him about his wine habit.
00:38:35.000
They said, your attorney said that your wine habit is $30,000 a month.
00:38:46.000
I guess he has to maintain that lifestyle that he wants for himself.
00:38:56.000
That sometimes happens to people, though, also when they're involved in laborious projects that they're not really interested in.
00:39:05.000
When you're doing something all day, and I say this as a guy who hosted Fear Factor, when you're doing something all day that you don't really enjoy doing while you're doing it, you're like, okay, time to go to work.
00:39:17.000
I mean, I was very thankful to have the job, don't get me wrong, but the reality is it was not enjoyed.
00:39:24.000
It wasn't like working for the UFC or doing stand-up comedy or even doing a podcast.
00:39:30.000
So when you do something like that, like people on bad sitcoms in particular, they spend all their fucking money.
00:39:37.000
Because the only thing that they look forward to is, what am I going to do with this money?
00:39:48.000
Yeah, I couldn't see myself doing a sitcom or a television show kind of thing.
00:40:03.000
Every other one that came along was like, this is shit.
00:40:14.000
Because it was kind of like the way the pitch was.
00:40:16.000
It was kind of just like, all right, these two, like, astrophysicist nerds.
00:40:26.000
And they were like, oh, we're going to get some real physicists to do the math.
00:40:32.000
And then they came back at me again, and I said, no, no, no, again, flattered, but no.
00:40:38.000
And then they came back at me again, and even my manager was twisting my arm.
00:40:43.000
Come on, I want the piece of this, my colleague!
00:40:45.000
Listen, I'd have hundreds of millions of dollars right now if I did that gig.
00:40:49.000
At the same time, I'd be bashing my head against the wall.
00:40:52.000
I mean, I think that's what Johnny Depp's doing.
00:40:54.000
I mean, he can't really be into those pirate movies.
00:40:57.000
And that's the thing, is that, like, he wasn't always like that.
00:41:00.000
But right now, it's, like, all about the money right now.
00:41:02.000
I read an article, an interview with him, it was about two decades ago, and he was talking about, you know, he was in his 30s, and he was doing a lot of weird, obscure movies.
00:41:17.000
And he said, this is kind of what I really like, and I'm not Blockbuster Boy, which is what he said.
00:41:28.000
No, he goes, yeah, if I'm ever part of a franchise, like Just Shoot Me or something like that.
00:41:33.000
And it's just like, yeah, they're pulling up these weird, like, old quotes.
00:41:36.000
It's like the George Lucas, like, when he testified before Congress about the colorization of movies and talking about how movies are part of our heritage and, you know, they shouldn't be tampered with.
00:41:49.000
And then he goes back, like, 25 years later, he's going back and redoing his movies.
00:41:55.000
It's like, yeah, no, like, once you put art out there...
00:42:02.000
Like, once you show, like, your paintings, like, that's not yours anymore.
00:42:10.000
Imagine if Leonardo da Vinci, like, just all of a sudden came back into existence right now, and he wants to change the Mona Lisa.
00:42:17.000
Yeah, he's like, I kind of didn't get the, you know, I didn't get the smile right.
00:42:32.000
I want to give her big tits and I want to push them together.
00:42:48.000
It's like he's living on Mulberry Street in Little Italy.
00:43:04.000
Who was talking about that theory that some people believe that Leonardo da Vinci, that Mona Lisa was him in drag?
00:43:24.000
We never pulled up a picture of him and the photo.
00:43:27.000
That's fascinating if that really was the case.
00:43:32.000
Well, they found all kinds of things in that painting.
00:43:35.000
Like, her iris of her eyes, there's actually, like, letters in there and stuff.
00:43:40.000
Like, really, really tiny, like straight Illuminati.
00:43:59.000
I had a dream the other day where I was the biggest dick in the world.
00:44:03.000
Like, I was actually just being really rude to everybody.
00:44:16.000
Yeah, you know, you can kind of size anything into anything.
00:44:24.000
It might have gotten confused with that, you know, the drawing of the man in the circle in the square?
00:44:31.000
Well, you know, maybe he just imagined himself as a woman.
00:44:43.000
I just stare at myself naked in the mirror every day.
00:44:58.000
Yeah, I dress like a dude just to fuck with people.
00:45:06.000
With Michelangelo, I always used to get them confused with Leonardo da Vinci.
00:45:13.000
Leonardo da Vinci was the one that invented a bunch of shit, though.
00:45:20.000
He actually made, or at least, it was like a tank.
00:45:33.000
It wasn't just airplanes or at least gliders and helicopters and so forth.
00:45:38.000
But yeah, look at all the different shit that he came up with.
00:45:46.000
And you can see there's kind of holes for guns all around it.
00:45:57.000
They're so nondescript with where those bullets are going.
00:46:08.000
But those were cannons, it must have been, right?
00:46:25.000
Just, you know, draw me like one of your French girls.
00:46:33.000
Michelangelo, it's the Sistine Chapel, and he's actually more of a sculptor than a painter, funny enough.
00:46:42.000
Like one of the ones that they killed the Smaug with.
00:46:56.000
It's like the first design for a machine gun, essentially.
00:47:02.000
I would really love to talk to an extraordinary person from back then.
00:47:17.000
Like to talk to Picasso or to talk to Da Vinci or any of these people from...
00:47:26.000
Picasso was my favorite, at least when it comes to his paintings and stuff.
00:47:28.000
But I heard he wasn't necessarily the coolest person to be around kind of thing.
00:47:40.000
He was already the most famous painter in the world and he knew it kind of thing.
00:47:50.000
So if you want to get a pack of cigarettes, he'd kind of just like, and there you go.
00:47:55.000
So he never had to pay for anything because he was Picasso.
00:48:07.000
Yeah, he actually has a lot of little sketches all around.
00:48:10.000
They're actually quite affordable, at least in terms of owning a Picasso.
00:48:14.000
He was very prolific and just a lot of ink drawings and so forth.
00:48:24.000
I think he went around kind of just doing anything he wanted.
00:48:47.000
Yeah, I've always, like, every time I've, like, bumped into him.
00:48:56.000
We went to the Pee Wee Herman Broadway show that they had a bunch of years back.
00:49:03.000
So it's like, yeah, just like me, Seth Green, Pee Wee Herman, and John Lovett's.
00:49:06.000
And I'm like, this is quite a little get-together.
00:49:14.000
I don't think he's doing it anymore because I don't see him anymore.
00:49:17.000
But a few years back, he was doing a lot of stand-up.
00:49:23.000
He bought the John Lovitz Comedy Club in Universal.
00:49:26.000
Universal is the worst comedy club design of all time.
00:49:30.000
Well, you know, it's weird that he was actually able to find a club that was already named after him.
00:49:52.000
Sean Penn had that older brother, that big brother that died.
00:50:05.000
Yeah, it was some weird Hollywood thing, and I was like, wow, imagine that.
00:50:09.000
You just jump on stage at a blues club and play the harmonica, and everybody's happier there.
00:50:16.000
I was hoping it was going to be like Sean Penn jumped up there and did his tight five.
00:50:25.000
So if you're on stage here, B.B. King's place, if this was a stage, there would be a balcony, but it would be above you, way up there, right above you.
00:50:34.000
So you'd have to look up to see the people that are watching.
00:50:37.000
So they're basically looking straight down on the top of your head.
00:50:46.000
You don't necessarily have to be as connected to the person's face.
00:50:50.000
I've been to a place where you were literally right over the band.
00:50:58.000
Just watching somebody with a bald spot on the top of their head.
00:51:22.000
Well, it's just getting weird because it's got too much shit in there.
00:51:29.000
I'm deleting space on my hard drive for new things.
00:51:47.000
And it was weird because he was already famous.
00:51:50.000
And one of the things was like, I had tried to encourage Phil Hartman to do stand-up several times because he would do stand-up where he would warm up We're good to
00:52:55.000
When I did SNL, I think it was the first season where he had just left, I think.
00:53:00.000
Because I did it pretty much, probably if I had to pick a season, it would have been the one I did.
00:53:05.000
Because you still had Carvey and you still had, you know, Hartman and Victoria Jackson, the whole kind of group.
00:53:21.000
She's put on a little weight, you know, but haven't we all?
00:53:25.000
And, like, no, she's actually a hardcore conservative now.
00:53:41.000
Not only that, I had to do it without cue cards because my father didn't want me to use cue cards.
00:53:49.000
Plus the skits I didn't even make into the show.
00:53:52.000
So I had to memorize skits that didn't even end up in the show.
00:54:13.000
I'm sure my father made a lot of friends that weekend.
00:54:19.000
How can he dictate whether or not the other actors get cue cards?
00:54:32.000
Like I said, she shouts it from the mountaintops.
00:54:36.000
So it was that whole kind of group, that kind of late 80s group.
00:54:39.000
But then also it was Mike Myers' second season.
00:54:55.000
It's always weird when someone from a TV show gets really political.
00:55:12.000
I go to his Twitter feed every now and then just to see what crazy old men conservatives are really interested in.
00:55:47.000
3D printed firearms are a concern for crime, but criminals will do bad things no matter what.
00:55:52.000
Find out more by listening to Blunt Force Truth.
00:56:01.000
We should listen to some of that, just for he-he's and ha-ha's.
00:56:50.000
That's some journalistic integrity from Chuck Woolery.
00:56:58.000
I think he escaped California and all the crazy libs.
00:57:01.000
We'll be right back in 2 and 2. Yeah, 2 and 2. I forget the name of that show.
00:57:05.000
I remember I used to like it, the one on the Game Show Network.
00:57:07.000
The one with all the boxes, and it was like letters and stuff.
00:57:20.000
Yeah, the Game Show Network, yeah, like when that launched.
00:57:27.000
Well, I'll go on if you let me talk about the damn libs.
00:57:34.000
He's already busy on his own thing, but we can get Woolery.
00:58:15.000
We'll talk some shit about Chuck Woolery while you're gone.
00:58:33.000
Naturally Stoned, an American reality television show that starred American game show host Chuck Woolery.
00:58:39.000
Six episodes aired in Game Show Network in 2003 between June 15th and July 27th.
00:58:47.000
Series centered around Woolery and his family, specifically his personal life and his work as a host of Game Show Network's original game show, Lingo.
00:58:57.000
Place strain on both Woolery's workload and his marriage.
00:59:01.000
It says the series title is derived from his top 40 song from his band, The Avant-Garde.
00:59:38.000
It was like a Mamas and the Papas-esque, kind of like 60s kind of song.
00:59:43.000
I think he probably was trying to do it on the natch, though.
00:59:59.000
You gotta pull it off of YouTube, otherwise we'll get pulled.
01:00:02.000
So the people listening on YouTube, you gotta go Google avant-garde, naturally stoned.
01:00:08.000
The people that are listening on Google Play and iTunes and all that shit, you can hear this.
01:00:14.000
Yeah, no, it's very like incense and peppermints kind of thing.
01:00:45.000
We'll be right back in 2 and 2. Yeah, 2 and 2. He's got wooden beads on.
01:00:54.000
I feel like I'm at a party on Hate Ashbery or something like that in the late 60s.
01:00:58.000
I want to find the guy in the back with his hand on his hip.
01:01:17.000
Elkin's got a duck hunting show on the Sportsman's Channel now.
01:01:36.000
I think Blunt Force Truth is a better name for a band than the avant-garde.
01:01:44.000
You don't want to know the truth, but I'm going to tell you.
01:02:15.000
That's so strange, that whole thing, that he was in a band.
01:02:24.000
It's so funny when those old dudes get, like, real...
01:03:11.000
How do you go from the avant-garde to hosting the dating game or whatever?
01:03:22.000
Well, he's a handsome guy, probably a good talker, and his agent was like, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, I'm telling you, the music is not your thing.
01:03:33.000
You don't want to hear it, but I'm going to tell you.
01:03:43.000
Listen, how about you being on the game show network?
01:03:47.000
Does anyone actually ever aspire to be a game show host?
01:03:51.000
I know, but when you're a kid, you know what I mean?
01:03:56.000
There's got to be someone who watches Price is Right.
01:03:58.000
Zach Morris from Saved by the Bell, he wanted to be a game show host.
01:04:05.000
Right now, there's some kid right now whose fucking dream you just shattered.
01:04:15.000
Like, you know, like, yeah, do people aspire to be game show hosts?
01:04:18.000
Because I know in the UK, like, host is a thing that people aspire to be.
01:04:33.000
That song actually gave them so much of a hit that they were a one-hit wonder then, and he had to become a truck driver to supplement his income.
01:04:44.000
He then signed on as a solo artist, had five more songs on his own.
01:04:51.000
Then he became the first host of Wheel of Fortune in 1975. What?
01:04:58.000
Pat St. Jack's been doing it since 1981. That's crazy.
01:05:08.000
75. So it was a year after that, after that thing we just watched.
01:05:12.000
I hope he still had that hair, that mane of hair of his.
01:05:17.000
Yeah, those little sideburns, the mutton chops.
01:05:22.000
Salary dispute is the reason why it wasn't hosted.
01:05:28.000
Imagine if he fucking turns it on and it's still on the air.
01:05:48.000
But then he went straight into the dating game or whatever.
01:05:59.000
I mean, you know who got the most action was Richard Dawson.
01:06:07.000
Did you ever see that movie with Richard Dawson?
01:06:31.000
He was the guy who was the star of Hogan's Heroes, and then he just became the freak of the week.
01:06:40.000
And then they think the guy he did porn with killed him.
01:06:45.000
I believe his murder was never solved, but there was some sort of extenuating circumstances that connected...
01:07:07.000
When they do a story about your life, they don't change shit.
01:07:25.000
They always say, oh, it's creative license, or we have to condense things because a person's life is so long, and things like that.
01:07:32.000
Do you remember that movie about, the movie with, it was with, what's his name from The Office?
01:07:48.000
I was just waiting to get the description, because I was going to say, Foxcatcher?
01:07:51.000
That movie's based on two very famous wrestlers, Dave Schultz and Mark Schultz.
01:07:55.000
And in the movie, they put a ton of bullshit in there.
01:08:06.000
But then, after the end of the movie, there's a historic moment in that, In that movie, that they just completely made up.
01:08:14.000
Like, he fought this guy named Big Daddy Goodrich in the UFC. I mean, it's sports history.
01:08:26.000
But Big Daddy Goodrich, who's, you know, really a pioneer in MMA fighting, was this...
01:08:37.000
He wore a traditional karate gi into the octagon.
01:08:40.000
In the movie, they have him fighting a white guy.
01:08:45.000
They just decided, they don't want to see black guys.
01:08:52.000
I was like, why would you change the race and the name of the guy he fought?
01:08:57.000
Yeah, that just seems like weird and like petty almost.
01:09:01.000
It's just greasy producers who think they're smart.
01:09:09.000
I'm going to give you the blunt force truth on greasy producers.
01:09:18.000
They just decide they're smarter than everybody, and they know better.
01:09:22.000
They know how to change history and make it a better show.
01:09:25.000
Like I said, it was the 80s, so yes, it has to be against a Russian kind of thing.
01:09:35.000
I think he fought in 1995 or something like that.
01:09:39.000
Because I know Kurt Angle, like I know, trained in that facility, the fox catcher.
01:09:46.000
How crazy that guy was just decided to set up some wrestling things so he could get weird with these dudes.
01:09:52.000
He wanted a bunch of strong, sweaty men rubbing up against each other.
01:09:57.000
I bet you those wrestlers when they're training, I bet you whoever they're training with knows their body better than their wives.
01:10:07.000
I bet you they know every curve of their training.
01:10:13.000
When I cinch this grip around your waist, it just feels like a little easier now.
01:10:30.000
Yeah, remember when he was, like, in the movie?
01:10:35.000
God, he played that creep so well, because he played it like a guy who's, like, a loose cannon.
01:10:43.000
The small, you know, the way he kind of, like, his movements and his speech.
01:10:48.000
Remember when he decided he was going to coach?
01:10:51.000
And coach the wrestlers and show them how to do certain moves?
01:10:57.000
Yeah, they're kind of like, oh, just let him have this one.
01:11:09.000
So now I go, well, did you make up that scene too?
01:11:14.000
I think there's a 30 for 30. About the Foxcatcher Institute or whatever it was.
01:11:19.000
Well, there was a lot of footage on that guy and Carell fucking nailed it.
01:11:31.000
That's an unfortunate thing about those wrestlers.
01:11:34.000
There's no real professional venue other than fighting if they want to go into MMA. And he was a coach at Brigham Young, Mark Schultz was, and he fought one time in the UFC and then just stayed...
01:11:52.000
The school that he was coaching for was like, listen, you want to coach here, you can't be cage fighting.
01:12:06.000
Because Budweiser sponsored boxing, and MMA was doing very well with pay-per-view back then, and they wanted to stop it in its tracks, and Budweiser was a big part of that, and Budweiser sort of got behind him.
01:12:20.000
Yeah, I mean, the boxing world is so greasy, because I'm a fight fan.
01:12:23.000
At least, like, boxing, I was always kind of raised that way.
01:12:28.000
I've only recently kind of gotten into the MMA kind of stuff.
01:12:33.000
Going to see any sporting event is always great live.
01:12:59.000
I remember the first Holyfield-Lewis, how that ended in a draw so they could double up their money and stuff.
01:13:07.000
I don't remember Holyfield versus Lewis at all.
01:13:16.000
You know, Loser was a great boxer, but at the same time, I just remember being driven nuts, like, where he was, like, where his, like, belt, like, up to here.
01:13:30.000
And it's kind of just like, yeah, like, he's wearing that thing too high.
01:13:33.000
Like, you know, like, he's getting away with murder.
01:13:38.000
I'm surprised he got away with that, you know, that equipment.
01:13:40.000
But most referees will tell you, you can hit him here.
01:13:45.000
But, you know, like I said, it was kind of just, it felt like an unfair advantage, especially for a guy who was like, like I said, 6'6".
01:13:54.000
Like, you know, so it's even higher than normal.
01:13:55.000
And that would be a big target for somebody who's like, only like, you know.
01:14:05.000
I don't think that's going to happen for a while.
01:14:07.000
Tyson Fury, though, he's kind of back in the ring.
01:14:14.000
They are big guys, but Tyson Fury looks fucking fantastic.
01:14:17.000
There's some footage on his Instagram of him doing pad work, and he's fighting really soon.
01:14:23.000
He just fought a warm-up, some journeyman kind of thing.
01:14:45.000
Oh yeah, I watched some of those highlight reels.
01:14:50.000
There was that one where, boom, the guy lands and he's flopping around like a fish.
01:15:05.000
Came back from losing that fight and then stopped Ortiz.
01:15:19.000
Like I said, I really do love watching Wilder, like right now.
01:15:33.000
Give me some volume on this so I can hear this.
01:15:38.000
But he's showing how slick he is, because he's not just big.
01:15:55.000
Yeah, the new rumor is supposed to be Wilder vs.
01:16:03.000
Tyson Fury could fuck up that whole thing, man.
01:16:08.000
And they're both a little unorthodox, too, so it'd be actually interesting to see him square off with Wilder.
01:16:17.000
It'd probably be the first time Wilder's finding somebody who's bigger than him.
01:16:23.000
I mean, look, Wilder can knock out anybody, but Tyson Fury, he'll give you fits.
01:16:29.000
Because Wilder is like, what, like 37-0 with 36 knockouts.
01:16:37.000
It's Tyson-esque, like young Tyson-esque, but they're completely different fighters.
01:16:41.000
Young Tyson was just so tight, and Wilder, he puts his hands down.
01:16:48.000
You know what's interesting is people still don't believe in him.
01:16:50.000
I had heard that the Anthony Joshua fight, I would think that that would be a pretty evenly matched fight.
01:16:56.000
People are like, no, no, Joshua's heads above everybody else.
01:17:06.000
Don't get me wrong, but he got knocked down by Klitschko.
01:17:15.000
Maybe it was not the same as prepared as Klitschko.
01:17:18.000
You know, fighters are different for every fighter.
01:17:20.000
Yeah, and Klitschko's aging, obviously, at that point.
01:17:24.000
Yeah, but I just think that that style, that Tyson Fury style, avoid that shit like measles.
01:17:31.000
Yeah, there's a reason why Joshua doesn't want to fight Wilder or Fury.
01:17:37.000
Like, he can sell out, like, you know, like, 40-50,000 in his home country.
01:17:41.000
Whereas, like, Wilder, like, in his home state, he fights a lot in Alabama.
01:17:48.000
Well, I think Wilder's becoming a bigger draw nationally now.
01:17:53.000
I think that's also one of the things with boxing.
01:17:56.000
They're always trying to figure out, when do we make this fight?
01:17:59.000
Do we make it now, or do we wait a couple of months?
01:18:04.000
That doesn't really happen that often, especially in the heavyweight division.
01:18:13.000
It could be Mayweather-Pacquiao all over again, where it's like, it happened, but it happened too late.
01:18:22.000
What did you think about the McGregor-Mayweather fight?
01:18:27.000
He did much better than I thought he was going to do.
01:18:31.000
That Mayweather was probably wanting to wear him out and so allowed him to...
01:18:37.000
But he did catch Mayweather with a very clean left hand.
01:18:55.000
I think he wanted to frustrate Mayweather and get Mayweather to try to slug with him.
01:18:58.000
Yeah, because Mayweather's defense is super tight.
01:19:04.000
He's like, I'm going to let this guy gas himself out.
01:19:07.000
Because Mayweather's not a knockout artist, but he knocked him out.
01:19:15.000
I think it was when they opened up the books for that fight, it was a thousand to one for McGregor to win by decision.
01:19:23.000
Listen, I almost put a grand on that just anyway, just on principle.
01:19:34.000
I mean, there's a reason why it was 1,001, but I kind of want to just sit there and turn to my friends like, I think I just won a million dollars.
01:19:39.000
Do you know how crazy that would be to win a million dollars by putting down a thousand?
01:19:46.000
There's been some crazy, but those bets are nuts.
01:20:00.000
Just, like, you know, in that moment, it's like, I bet you I can guess within, you know, $100 how many chips are in front of you right now.
01:20:11.000
Give me a 1 in 10 chance that you pull out a dollar bill from your pocket and whatever the last number is.
01:20:16.000
If I get it right, you can pay me 10 to 1. Just weird prop bets.
01:20:22.000
Players kind of go nuts with that kind of stuff.
01:20:27.000
Look, I remember I was playing cards at this one club and this guy just was sports betting like crazy.
01:20:34.000
But now it's like 2 in the morning, 3 in the morning.
01:20:37.000
And he's looking down and he goes, does anyone know anything about cricket?
01:20:41.000
And, like, that was the only game that was going on.
01:20:56.000
Well, that's the crazy thing about those sports books.
01:21:04.000
I've actually, I have a buddy who does, like, is into the races and stuff like that.
01:21:12.000
It's kind of like, but you kind of just randomly, like, just like, I'll, sure, number eight.
01:21:19.000
I knew a guy who got banned for life from chariot races.
01:21:24.000
His horse was winning and his horse wasn't supposed to win.
01:21:28.000
He's literally standing up, pulling back on the reins as his horse was winning.
01:21:45.000
Yeah, the Greek is like, yeah, because there was Jimmy the Greek back in the day.
01:21:50.000
Yeah, he was always trying to, like, he was always telling us.
01:21:55.000
He was always telling us that he was going to win the lawsuit.
01:22:19.000
Or, again, when you're a kid, you're going, when I grow up, I want to be a chariot racer.
01:22:29.000
Just like imagining himself with a bow and arrow in the back.
01:22:39.000
That was a crazy movie because if you look at the difference between Spartacus and 300, right?
01:22:45.000
If you look at Spartacus, they had normal bodies, like guys that just ate toast and didn't work out.
01:22:50.000
Back in the Roman days, I'd be considered tall.
01:22:55.000
A lot of those soldiers and Spartans and a lot of the Romans, they were like 5'5".
01:23:04.000
I was going to say malnutrition, but it wasn't straight malnutrition, it just wasn't good nutrition kind of thing.
01:23:23.000
It was probably really hard to get good food back then.
01:23:26.000
As you're growing up, you probably were always malnourished.
01:23:34.000
Well, that's why it's like a fat lady was considered really, really sexy.
01:23:46.000
That's why you see the Aphrodite and stuff like that.
01:23:52.000
Yeah, they went through a whole era where those Rubenesque women, that was the thing.
01:24:06.000
We're treading in dangerous waters, even talking about that.
01:24:24.000
That looks like a guy who's literally never swung a sword.
01:24:32.000
Well, I bet he was probably in his 30s because people back then just aged worse.
01:24:46.000
Yeah, but you smoke cigarettes and you look fantastic.
01:24:54.000
Let's take a guess how old he was during Spartacus.
01:24:59.000
I think he was a hair under 40. I think you're right.
01:25:17.000
He's probably like 44. How old is Daniel Craig right now?
01:25:56.000
My other favorite James Bond is a potential James Bond.
01:26:02.000
Because he's jacked and because white people are mad.
01:26:07.000
Yeah, it's like a Fantastic Four movie, and they got Michael B. Jordan.
01:26:26.000
It's just that he doesn't look like a guy who fought with a fucking sword for a living.
01:26:30.000
Yeah, but that's probably more accurate to what actual Romans look like.
01:26:39.000
If they were an actual gladiator, they had to swing swords around.
01:27:09.000
Yeah, it's probably one of those things he had to do.
01:27:17.000
No, this is actually one of the weaker ones, really.
01:27:26.000
Because they did a TV movie in the early 2000s.
01:27:43.000
He wanted a guy that was turned crazy by the house.
01:27:48.000
But how the fuck are you gonna do that in a two hour movie?
01:27:55.000
I bet you if you read it or whatever, it probably seems creepy when he's talking about how the hedges are moving when he's not looking and stuff like that.
01:28:03.000
But when you physically see it, it's not scary at all.
01:28:07.000
Things like that just don't visually translate.
01:28:20.000
Maybe I'm confusing it with the Dark Tower series.
01:28:28.000
He was, I mean, still is, but so fucking prolific.
01:28:35.000
The one that you see in the model there, and the one that exists, and there's also a map on the outside of it, all three of those are different.
01:28:42.000
Can you climb those bushes and get a look from the top?
01:28:56.000
Well, the hedges that are moving, you know, in the book.
01:29:02.000
It's kind of like, you know, these like, like Edward Scissorhand-esque, like kind of like, you know, it's a kitten.
01:29:07.000
It's like, and then it's like, oh, it's moving when you're not looking.
01:29:20.000
It's supposed to be somewhere in Colorado that's like that.
01:29:24.000
Yeah, I mean, I think that's where they filmed it.
01:29:28.000
They filmed some of it, and I think they filmed some of it also in upstate New York.
01:29:41.000
Actually, it's not called the Overlook in real life, but yeah, it's in Colorado.
01:29:59.000
It's still great, but I put it lower on my Kubrick list.
01:30:09.000
During his spare time, he used to do complex mathematics.
01:30:20.000
But there's actually the Stanley Kubrick library.
01:30:23.000
And you actually can kind of go through his scripts and his notes and all that kind of stuff.
01:30:27.000
There's a whole archive that's supposed to be kind of pretty neat.
01:30:32.000
Like producing or directing or writing something?
01:30:48.000
Right now wouldn't be ideal, but a year from now, yeah, it probably might be a little freer.
01:30:56.000
Hopefully the company will be moving on its own by that kind of thing.
01:30:59.000
Here's something I wanted to ask you about Paris.
01:31:01.000
This is one thing that I was only there for a short period of time, but one of the things I was shocked by is that All those people are eating bread, and they're all eating cheese and wine, and no one's fat.
01:31:17.000
Again, it's kind of the way that you kind of eat, how you have a light breakfast but a heavy dinner.
01:31:24.000
And also, you can't call yourself a boulangerie, like a bakery, unless you make everything from scratch.
01:31:33.000
And, like, the thing is, is that, like, your, like, baguette will be stale in 24 hours.
01:31:42.000
Like, in general, out there, like, all your food spoils faster, like, in your fridge.
01:31:48.000
Because, like, yeah, it's, you know, like, it's fresh.
01:31:53.000
He was an oncologist from Paris and he lived in America and he went back to France and brought back cheese because the cheese that he could get over there was not homogenized or pasteurized and it's literally illegal here.
01:32:06.000
So he would have to tuck it in his carry-on or in his checked luggage and just hope that no one would check the cheese.
01:32:17.000
And when he served it to us, it was like precious.
01:32:21.000
I mean, they make raw cheese in America now, but this was...
01:32:25.000
But it's, like, specific and, like, yeah, like, you have to, like, you know, it's boutique-y kind of thing.
01:32:30.000
It's a very boutique, you know, niche kind of thing.
01:32:35.000
Like, they don't refrigerate their eggs over there because it's done in a different kind of process.
01:32:46.000
Yeah, you can wash them, but I think in America, I think we, like...
01:32:55.000
There's a different process than they have in Europe.
01:32:57.000
So in general, you're not supposed to refrigerate your eggs there.
01:33:01.000
And it's just a different process of how things are done.
01:33:05.000
Yeah, the preservative thing makes a lot of sense.
01:33:08.000
The preservatives, and I think there's also different shit that's in wheat, and there's different kinds of wheat.
01:33:15.000
They have heirloom wheat, wheat that's like older wheat before we started messing with it.
01:33:21.000
And also their cattle and things like that, it's grass-fed, whereas in the States it's corn-fed.
01:33:26.000
And also I just noticed in general out there, I was eating less red meat.
01:33:39.000
Those cured legs when they just take that thin slice off the cured leg.
01:33:45.000
I'm actually going there, going back in a couple of days.
01:34:04.000
And I know, like, a good, like, 12 or 20, like, of the acts.
01:34:09.000
So I get to, like, go to Berlin, and I'm going to be, like, the roving reporter, pretty much.
01:34:13.000
I found myself, you know, something to do when I'm out there.
01:34:16.000
Yeah, it's going to be, like, podcasting and so forth.
01:34:19.000
Because there's a lot of, like, there's a lot of, like, cool musicians doing it, so...
01:34:23.000
So yeah, I'm kind of flying from LA to New York, spending the night, because I hate taking super long flights, and then New York to Paris.
01:34:36.000
Even when you do that, you tilt your head sideways and throw your hand back.
01:34:45.000
Oh, shall we book you a straight flight to Europe?
01:35:00.000
Maybe I'll take the channel to London just for a day trip.
01:35:09.000
Now, one of the things that people in America that don't go to Paris are worried about is people hear horror stories about the immigration nightmare in Paris.
01:35:19.000
And that Paris is somehow or another turning into this criminal cesspool because of all these immigrants.
01:35:26.000
Hence those shootings that you heard about in the...
01:35:29.000
It is actually one of the most ethnically diverse cities in all of Europe.
01:35:35.000
You see more black people in the first five minutes of being there than you do in the whole of Oslo or Berlin or something like that.
01:35:51.000
When it comes to all those shootings and things like that, they're guilty of being landlocked.
01:35:57.000
You know, the UK can kind of control the, you know, the flow of traffic, you know, people kind of coming in and out because they're an island nation.
01:36:05.000
Whereas like with the kind of open borders that you can, you know, you can buy a gun in Greece and take the train, you know, like all the way over, like, you know, especially when it comes to like the old, like the Balkans or whatever.
01:36:17.000
Like, you know, there's a lot of leftover Soviet era, like Kalashnikovs.
01:36:21.000
That's why they always have like these Russian made like guns and so forth.
01:36:27.000
It's easier for somewhere like the UK to lock off their borders, whereas France, like I said, it's guilty of being landlocked, essentially.
01:36:57.000
But the big fear, like the one thing that people are...
01:37:02.000
Terrified of was that this was going to happen to the rest of Europe that like what what's happened to Paris and Paris is falling apart and you can go through some of the ghetto areas in Paris and You know there was a someone filmed something where a Jewish man walked through these Muslim ghettos and they're screaming out I'm all these anti-semitic things I have not seen that you know,
01:37:25.000
but you know at my neighborhoods are only a couple blocks away from like the Jewish kind of neighborhood That's a good spot to live Heck yeah.
01:37:34.000
Yeah, I'm a New Yorker, so I'm like, I'm already half Jewish, you know?
01:37:38.000
I was in New York recently when we were in Brooklyn, and I was with Ari, my friend Ari, who grew up Orthodox Jew, and he took us through this neighborhood where they have like the crazy Frisbee fur hats on, and all the curls.
01:37:56.000
And the fucking, the yarn hanging off their belt.
01:38:01.000
And, you know, he was basically saying, like, these people, like, they are here, but they're not here.
01:38:15.000
I was just going to say get married young and look at it.
01:38:17.000
Dude, it's so interesting seeing them all walking around the streets.
01:38:26.000
Just throw a sheet over and just perfectly frame the vagina right there.
01:38:43.000
It's like, honey, why are there holes in all these sheets?
01:38:58.000
So, like, this community that we were driving through is massive.
01:39:03.000
Yeah, I was going to say Brooklyn, like, kind of in the southern kind of part.
01:39:13.000
Yeah, it's kind of like you're talking about the neighborhood, like, kind of, like, north of Red Hook, but right there on the river.
01:39:16.000
Because I walked from my place in, like, lower Manhattan all the way down to, like, Red Hook, like, one day.
01:39:34.000
If you run seven miles an hour, that's like a fairly good clip.
01:39:42.000
You have to understand, the whole of Manhattan is, I think it's like 14 miles, something like that.
01:39:57.000
One of the guys that was there with us, the guy who was driving us, was telling us how Brooklyn is just overwhelmed with building, construction, apartment buildings now, and everyone's moving out of Manhattan and into Brooklyn.
01:40:10.000
Because the thing about Manhattan is that it's finite.
01:40:15.000
Like, yeah, you can build upwards, but you can only do that so much.
01:40:20.000
You have to have enough money just to stay on the island of Manhattan.
01:40:23.000
And even people like that are getting displaced.
01:40:29.000
The people that I know that live in Manhattan always have this thought in their head that one day they might live in L.A. Like, even Bourdain was saying, ah, sometimes I think about it.
01:40:38.000
I think about the weather, and I know there's a lot of good things about L.A., a lot of nice places.
01:40:43.000
L.A., I lived here for the better part of eight years, like, in my early 20s and stuff.
01:40:51.000
Yeah, I think just, like, with the weather and things like that.
01:40:53.000
And it's also, like, yeah, the leisurely kind of, like, kind of thing.
01:40:58.000
It's a lot more smoking weed, just because, like, everyone has to drive, you know, so nobody, like, you know, so everyone just, like...
01:41:11.000
So I blinked and it was like, wait, I've been living out here for five years.
01:41:18.000
It's one of the few major cities where you have a hundred degree weather shift in one year.
01:41:22.000
It can be a hundred degrees and later that year it can be zero degrees.
01:41:26.000
So it's kind of a harsh kind of climate a little bit.
01:41:45.000
I might have missed my shot because now I'm married and with kids and the whole deal.
01:41:54.000
The only thing that could possibly make me live there was that I could do stand-up there very easily.
01:42:02.000
Well, I think the island of Manhattan only has like six of them, technically.
01:42:26.000
My buddy opened up one in like 2010. Oh, Gotham.
01:42:32.000
Well, he opened up one like in about 2010 or something like that.
01:42:35.000
And he was talking about, he goes, actually, there's not a shit ton.
01:42:40.000
He was actually, he said like, yeah, he goes, when I opened up, there was only like six, you know, like he was like the seventh one or something like that.
01:42:46.000
It's surprising, at least on the island of Manhattan itself, there's not as many comedy clubs as you'd Do you know, in the turn of the century, the 19th to the 20th century, there was a thousand or close to a thousand billiard halls in Manhattan.
01:43:09.000
And that's like when men didn't want to have families.
01:43:11.000
The bachelor life, they would live in these pool halls.
01:43:31.000
Yeah, there's actually not a lot of billiard clubs there anymore.
01:43:34.000
I mean, I'm saying they do exist, but there's only a smattering of them.
01:43:43.000
I think even like Bullmore moved, that kind of thing.
01:44:06.000
I've got a pretty girl, pretty dog, pretty cat, and all that stuff.
01:44:10.000
We're doing a house thing and all that kind of stuff.
01:44:18.000
Do you have to chip in, or do you just ride in?
01:44:24.000
I think she's in escrow right now, essentially.
01:44:28.000
But if it goes south, she could just fucking boot you out.
01:44:44.000
I saw the movie Big, and I'm like, that's what I want.
01:44:46.000
So, like, an elevator opens up to, like, a big room, and, like, I have more mannequins than, like, you would, like, think.
01:44:54.000
Like, we used to have an American Apparel downstairs, and I was walking, like, out one day, and there was just a pile of mannequin parts.
01:45:00.000
And I was like, oh my god, look, I have to get these!
01:45:04.000
And then I told my super, because it's in the same kind of building complex, I said, listen, if they're ever going to get rid of any mannequin things, tell them to come to me first.
01:45:14.000
They closed down, and I have so many mannequins.
01:45:26.000
You were talking about all the different little cars that you bought.
01:45:30.000
Every time I go to the pharmacy, I have to buy a toy car.
01:45:42.000
But for some reason, I hoard things and I collect things.
01:45:47.000
And at the same time, I'll figure out what this is for.
01:45:50.000
I'll do something with those mannequins at some point.
01:45:54.000
That's the kind of shit that drives women crazy.
01:46:08.000
You think that's a freedom thing where you do whatever you want?
01:46:10.000
So you're like, fuck it, I'm just going to buy a mannequin.
01:46:14.000
And when they closed down, it was like, yeah, I got like 20 mannequins.
01:46:17.000
Did you get them for free or did you have to buy them?
01:46:18.000
No, so they were going to sell them and it was something like, oh, we have like 16 of them.
01:46:27.000
And I said, Listen, I said, I could do that, or I could pay you, you know, or I can give you $200 for him, and then give you $200.
01:46:39.000
So, you know, the store gets the $200, but then there's another $200 in your pocket kind of thing.
01:46:46.000
Well, because they're not going to, like, they don't have a job starting next week.
01:46:50.000
So, like, yeah, so I got him for cheaper, like, just by pretty much bribing the dude.
01:47:10.000
You're very healthy for a guy who's gotten through what you've gotten through.