In this episode, the boys talk about how simple it would be to move into the woods and live in a tiny house in the woods. They talk about what they would like to do with such a small space and how they could turn it into a studio and TV studio. They also talk about a house that is for sale in the Redwoods that is only 320 sq ft and has a small kitchen and living space below. We talk about why we should buy it and what we would do with it. And of course, we talk about Chuck Liddell and how we would run a show in a place like that if we bought it and turned it into our new home. This episode was brought to you by SeatGeek and Micah Vellian. The opinions stated here are our own, not those of our companies. If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE and leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts and other podcasting platforms. We appreciate all the support we've gotten so far! Thank you so much for all the love and support, we really appreciate it. We really do appreciate all of the support and support. XOXO. -The boys. Timestamps: 3:00 - What do you think of this episode? 4:30 - What would you like to see us do in the future? 5:00- What is a simple life? 6:15 - How simple is too simple? 7:20 - How do you like it? 8:40 - What kind of place would you want to live in? 9:00 11:10 - What are you looking for? 12:30- What would your ideal place? 13:30 15:15- What are your favorite place to live? 16:40- What's your biggest piece of property? 17:20- What size do you need to be? 18:30 Would you like me to have? 19:40 21:10 22:10- What s your favorite piece of furniture? 22 - What is your favorite thing that you re going to have in your home? 23:00 + 16: What would I need? 25:00 / 15:00/16:30 +16:00+ +17:40 + 17:00 & 17:50 25,000
00:03:00.000He had a little octagon kind of a room, and he would leave his house with his daughters and his wife, and he would go up the steps and go into his little thing.
00:03:10.000And on this table was just his pipe, a box of cigars, his writing pads, His pens.
00:03:18.000And he just would hang out there and smoke all day and work.
00:06:13.000Like, when you get out of your poor days and you kind of, like, get above water and you help your family out and you get some stuff you're proud of...
00:06:21.000But then you just start adding more stress.
00:06:37.000Jim Carrey's been on this kick, explaining that to people.
00:06:42.000Because, you know, Jim Carrey said, I'm paraphrasing him, but basically his quote was, I wish everybody would get rich and famous and they would see that that's not what makes you happy.
00:08:53.000And she said things that people eventually attributed to Sarah Palin because they thought that Sarah Palin actually said it because Tina Fey said it.
00:10:12.000Not 100% sure this is true, but it makes sense.
00:10:15.000That someone shot a caribou, and then they drove her to the caribou, they gave her the rifle, and she stood over the caribou and took photos.
00:10:23.000So that they could show, hey, she's a hunter!
00:10:26.000She's like us, us regular folk, out here hunting caribou.
00:12:14.000Honestly, a bow, I'm more accurate with a bow at like 60, 70 yards freehand.
00:12:19.000Not more accurate, but in the range than I am with a rifle.
00:12:23.000With a rifle, when you get out, you could shoot accurately on a rest, like way out longer distances.
00:12:28.000But when you're just holding it up like that, it's based on, I mean, you've got to kind of lock it into your body, but it's hard to keep it steady.
00:17:04.000They just need a little bit of something that they could run with and use to argue.
00:17:08.000So if comedians come out and attack Trump and, you know, there's comics that are, you know, Bill Maher and all these people that come out and really go against him, does it have any effect?
00:17:38.000But it's like, I've never seen a time where people are more angry at the press and like going along with the conspiracy thread of the deep state.
00:20:02.000If they find that you bought that, they put you on a very special list of morons.
00:20:09.000That they count on whenever there's a rally.
00:20:11.000Like if they're gonna like have a fake Hillary in a jail cell and they're gonna throw her through a parade, you know, like have her on a cart and carry her through a parade.
00:24:29.000When I come home, the first thing he does, he sees me, wags his tail, comes up to me, and then he runs, grabs a toy, puts it in his mouth, and then comes back to me.
00:24:59.000I came home the other night at like 1 o'clock in the morning, you know, from the comedy store, and I sat on the couch to start writing, and Marshall just comes over and goes, dude, what's going on?
00:26:08.000Yeah, but if you have them on a leash, for the most part, or you find a good spot where you don't have to have them on a leash, that's great.
00:28:16.000He got bit on the arm and they had a med vac amount in the helicopter and then he had to go through a long series of operations to repair his arm.
00:28:26.000Like mesh and skin grafts and all these different things and it still was fucked up.
00:28:32.000Like years later his arm was fucked up.
00:28:34.000So if you didn't get medical attention why would you die?
00:28:37.000It would just spread through your organs?
00:29:14.000So if you have, you know, the difference between like an 18-year-old fella shooting, as Bill Hicks would say, arcing ropes of jism versus a rattlesnake that's like thick like a fucking tree trunk.
00:32:54.000Sort of, but the problem with those dogs is multifold.
00:33:00.000One, they have a very high prey drive.
00:33:03.000Their drive to attack things is very high.
00:33:06.000And the more they're bred for that, the more intelligent they are, the more intense they are, and people love them because of their intensity and their intelligence and their loyalty towards their owners is incredible.
00:33:46.000They start off, they'll have a fight, and then one will win, and then you say, okay, well, in a normal situation, this one realizes that it's the alpha, and then the other one will back off.
00:35:26.000He was 13. This is the saddest moment like the last week of his life.
00:35:32.000Marshall was in the pool and he was jumping around and playing with my daughters and everybody was having a good time and Johnny wanted to come to the pool but he couldn't walk over there.
00:35:41.000And so he would take a couple steps and he'd be panting and his legs would be shaking and he'd take a couple steps and he's panting and his legs are shaking and he was just in agony.
00:35:50.000So I picked him up, all like 140 pounds of him.
00:36:07.000I'm breathing in dust and pollen, and I'm in the bottom of these canyons running through all this shit, and the dog's in front of me kicking up dirt.
00:36:15.000I ran on the concrete today, and I'm...
00:40:01.000You ever get high and then you realize, oh, I haven't been thinking about this at all, and then when you're high, it's the only thing you're thinking about?
00:42:06.000But that's because I have an AOL account that I just, anytime you're in a store, anytime, whatever, you sign up for something, can I have your email, can I have your email?
00:42:14.000It all gets that, and that's why it blows up.
00:42:17.000But my private account, my inner circle one, under 100. That's where I'm staying.
00:42:23.000You got basically about 4,000 big dick pill ads.
00:43:42.000And this was highlighted by the movie Icarus.
00:43:46.000If you watch that movie and you realize how the IOC is in bed with the World Anti-Doping Agency and how, you know, how they sort of function together and what it really is all about is making money.
00:44:03.000And anything that compromises that making money, they're going to vote against it.
00:44:11.000And if they did have it in the Olympics, what they would basically do is take these guys who are making millions and millions of dollars playing video games at a professional level.
00:48:42.000They only want it in the Olympics because they realize there's massive amounts of people that are watching it and playing them now and they can make a lot of money off of it.
00:50:48.000And some are bad guys and some are good guys.
00:50:51.000There's a bunch of different ones they do, and some of them are just targets, and some of them are targets that are dressed up like people.
00:55:08.000What's unique about him is that the things that he's saying are legitimately profound and very interesting and legitimately deeply philosophical.
00:55:21.000You're reading it and you go, okay, this guy was a real thinking person.
00:55:25.000And he was deeply considering these things from all sorts of different angles.
00:55:31.000Yet he allowed that crazy Sheila lady to run his cult and poison people and plot assassinations.
00:55:40.000But even before that, he was collecting Rolls Royces and he loved the...
00:56:11.000Power and greed and celebrity, and then you can't shake it.
00:56:15.000All these televangelists, when all those televangelists went down, They start off preaching around the South, dirty, like in little churches.
00:56:22.000Then they start making millions of dollars and it goes all off the rails.
00:57:27.000If you have a lot of money, you can buy awesome things and you enjoy them and you feel like you've accomplished something.
00:57:32.000If you have a lot of celebrity, then everybody kisses your ass, and he would walk in the room with his hands clasped together, and everybody would go crazy.
00:57:40.000But it's a different kind of celebrity, right?
00:57:42.000His celebrity was not just like, oh, there's Tom Papa!
00:58:57.000And then probably lay some shit down about...
00:58:59.000You know, one of the main problems in relationships is the passion sometimes ebbs when there's a loss of respect and appreciation for each other as individuals, as unique souls.
01:00:11.000Some people say that that's abuse, that the yoga guru who manipulates the woman and then fucks her, that he is...
01:00:20.000In a way, definitely being guilty of sexual misconduct, and perhaps even like something more egregious, because there's a relationship that they have between the guru and the student, and he's violating that trust and that power dynamic.
01:02:47.000You know this thing that's going on right now?
01:02:49.000So this 17-year-old kid, when he had sex with her, it was in California, so he's saying it's sexual assault because she had sex with him and then she got...
01:03:02.000Tony Bourdain to pay this kid off 300 plus thousand dollars to shut his mouth and then it came out that she was a hypocrite because she seduced this kid and fucked him and she had played his mom in a movie ten years prior when he was only seven which is really kind of crazy.
01:03:20.000There's pictures of her and the kid when the kid was like a little kid.
01:03:25.000She stayed close to him and called him like her son and he would call her mom and stuff like that and then they got together and She lied about it and said she didn't fuck him, and then pictures came out of her in bed with him, and then her friends released text messages.
01:03:47.000He was 17 at the time, so it would have been totally legal if this happened in New Jersey, but it happened in California.
01:03:52.000But this is all going on while she was making a big deal of Harvey Weinstein having sex with her when she was 22. Like, Jesus fucking Christ.
01:04:40.000The real creepy picture is her in the movie with him when he was like a little kid.
01:04:45.000But it's not as creepy as Woody Allen when he had his daughter sitting on his lap and then 10 years later that same daughter is holding his hand as his girlfriend in the front row of a basketball game.
01:06:04.000See, the problem is the age of consent being 17. If it was 18, or if he was 18 rather, or if it was like in New Jersey where it's 16, there's no case.
01:07:42.000Because if he was that damaged from her, he would have been damaged from a girl who was his age, too, who fucked him and then didn't call him anymore.
01:07:57.000In some of these instances where the teacher sleeps with the kid and it's a boy and he's 14 and people are like, oh, come on, he would love it.
01:08:06.000Now, 14, you still don't know who you are.
01:08:16.000So the question is, Is this dynamic equal to the teacher-student because she was the director and she played his mother and she clearly had some sort of a maternal love like sort of relationship with him early on and then it became sexual later.
01:08:41.000Maybe he was in love and pining for her the whole time.
01:08:43.000Maybe that's one of the reasons why he came out and wanted money in the first place, because she's trying to get back at her, because she didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore.
01:08:51.000And maybe they had a couple of drinks together, and she just didn't know what to do when he started making moves on her, and so she fucked him, because she's crazy.
01:09:30.000Well, really, that's what it comes down to.
01:09:31.000It's like, because it's so gray, and because there's so many things that can happen, you really have to come down to, well, is there a logic?
01:09:39.000You should have to pull your pants down.
01:10:17.000You know, the thing about her too is, you know, she had a consensual sexual relationship with Harvey Weinstein after the alleged incident where he ate her pussy and she didn't want him to.
01:12:06.000I used to work out at Gold's Gym on Cole.
01:12:08.000And I say gay gym because it was just like a lot of gay guys.
01:12:12.000Like really obvious, over-tan, you know, gay guys with like super thin tank tops with giant muscles and fucking combat boots and real aggressive leather like fucking paperboy hats on while they're working out.
01:12:59.000Yeah, and they want to push me into the car and take my pants off.
01:13:02.000This is a real concern for women that men don't have.
01:13:05.000So our ideas of what it would be like to be in a non-consensual relationship with a woman where she sucks your dick against your will is just not comparable.
01:14:35.000I've got a hut in the middle of the forest, and I watch films!
01:14:39.000When I was watching Roadhouse last night, he put a cassette in his Mercedes, in his car, he's playing music, shoved a cassette in there, and I was like, yes!
01:14:56.000Yeah, yeah, like she has a bunch, but they're pretty obscure.
01:15:00.000There's a real concern that everything that we have is digital, you know, and that we're moving to Kindles and e-books and all these different things and then downloadable music and less physical music.
01:15:11.000That anything that happens that wipes that stuff out, anything that wipes out the ability to play it or preserve the recording, we lose everything.
01:15:31.000We're more aware that we're being attacked.
01:15:34.000People are trying to steal this stuff and we're putting more of our faith in it.
01:15:38.000Yeah, but what I'm saying is as we become more educated, not even with that, just the more information we accumulated, the more vulnerable that information is.
01:15:46.000It's not like books that are like lock solid and they're always going to be there as long as you keep them in a fireproof container.
01:15:52.000No, our knowledge itself is way more vulnerable than it's ever been before, yet way more advanced than it's ever been before.
01:16:07.000Listen, man, I had Dr. Robert Shock on the podcast, who's a geologist from Boston University, and he freaked me the fuck out, talking about coronal mass ejections from the sun and what they believe happened somewhere around 12,000 years ago.
01:16:22.000There was some sort of a gigantic solar event that caused lightning storms.
01:16:27.000You know like when it's a storm and rain is coming down from the sky, like fucking buckets of rain everywhere?
01:19:51.000I didn't even know they were in the space game.
01:19:52.000It's orbiting it right now, apparently.
01:19:54.000Well, the Japanese have the Himawari-8 satellite that takes gigantic high-resolution full photos of the Earth from 22,000 miles out every 10 minutes, somewhere around then.
01:20:09.000The Himawari-8, what's the details of the Himawari-8?
01:20:13.000It's one of the best things to use against these flat-earth dorks.
01:20:17.000Because for the longest time, one of the things they were saying is that there was no full photos of the Earth from space, that everything was just stitched together.
01:23:20.000You need 10 years gap time between recognizing it's definitely going to hit Earth and having the ability and the technology to shift its direction.
01:23:29.000Couldn't you just go and shoot a rocket at it?
01:24:45.000You should have talked about the elephant in the room, though, okay?
01:24:48.000Start off with something like, hey, I just flew in from California, and boy, are my arms tired from jacking off in the airplane the whole time.
01:27:01.000Okay, but is that punishment, or is that them exercising their desire to not work with someone who's been accused of something that they don't want to be associated with?
01:27:45.000It's up to him whether he wants to or not.
01:27:47.000It's up to his fans whether they show up or not.
01:27:49.000And it's up to the people that hate what he did and are really against him to not go.
01:27:53.000Well, that's why this thing was weird, because he just showed up at the cellar, which is his favorite place to go, and he just worked out material.
01:28:13.000And one really bizarre spin that I saw was this woman was saying that this is indicative of the problem of all comedy clubs, an aggressive male audience, and women sitting there...
01:28:25.000Feeling threatened not being able to use their voice.
01:31:20.000But what's fascinating is that as a culture, we're going through this great time of change and this great time of introspective thinking and of...
01:31:33.000We're observing our behavior and discussing our behavior and watching this.
01:31:40.000You have the worst case examples of which, in my opinion, is Cosby.
01:31:44.000The worst case example, like drugging people and raping them.
01:31:47.000I mean, there's a woman who was on television, on CNN. She said something that freaked me out once.
01:32:32.000You know, Kurt Metzger was telling me that one of the girls who came out against him, like, they had been flirting, like, the whole weekend and talking about sex, like, the whole weekend.
01:34:20.000You know, I hesitate to comment on any of it because it's like his mess.
01:34:26.000And like if anyone that comments on it or comes near it or like the owner of the Comedy Cellar, everyone's got to deal with the aftermath of what this guy did.
01:34:35.000It's like, why am I, you know, as the owner of the Cellar, it's like, why does he have to get brought into Louie's behavior?
01:35:56.000And I think he's, you know, he's into...
01:36:00.000I think part of it is like being naughty and doing something that's forbidden and, you know, and getting away with it and having these girls like him for being a comedian and then doing that to them.
01:37:53.000And then the only way, one of the only ways is like you got to kind of And there's definitely a feeling, you know, the comedy world is like separate and we kind of like, you know, it's a crazy environment and nightclub kind of a thing.
01:38:11.000And what you heard once these women came out was, no, this is kind of inappropriate that girls, women can...
01:38:20.000Can't come into a club and just feel okay.
01:38:22.000Like they have to field all this stuff and guys hitting on them all the time.
01:38:25.000Like it kind of made you look at the scene and be like, alright, maybe this scene could be cleaned up a little bit as well.
01:38:31.000Well, it's like what I was saying about really a worse version of working out at a gay gym.
01:38:38.000It's like if you go to a gay gym and you see men leer at you, you get that feeling that these guys want to have sex with you and you definitely don't want to have sex with them.
01:39:43.000There's inconsiderate women, there's inconsiderate men, and then, you know, we both do it to each other, and then people develop bad traits and bad associations with the opposite sex, and it's a very common thing that people do.
01:40:45.000It's enough when you're starting out to get five minutes of good material and to get the audience to like you and get the respect of your peers.
01:40:52.000Then you've got to worry about someone following you in the parking lot.
01:40:56.000I have a friend of mine who's a comic and she got hit on by this other guy who's a comic.
01:43:32.000And my friend said, he said, no, you don't understand.
01:43:35.000It's really, I mean, it's to the point where when you're working out on a machine, there are pin lights that come right down on your bicep.
01:43:43.000The lighting is made to make you look sexier while you're working out.
01:43:48.000He said it was the greatest gym of all time.
01:43:50.000They have, like, specific kind of lighting to accentuate the musculature?
01:43:55.000Yeah, like if I was on a curling machine right now, there'd be a light that came from the ceiling that hits where your biceps are.
01:44:00.000To make the shadows, to make the peaks look bigger.
01:44:38.000Well, it's even weirder when it's packaged with advertising and sleekness and music and then you see it in real life and people are- Sex sells, baby!
01:44:47.000And then on this social media and everyone's sticking their ass out and, you know, it's like there's so much going on.
01:45:12.000And it's also about the shit roll of the dice that you get if you're physically unattractive, when it's difficult to get someone who's attracted to you.
01:46:32.000And by the way, here's the thing, no disrespect to the disability charity, but a lot of these disability charities criticize this just so that they can highlight their charity and it's very good for the charity if they criticize things.
01:47:12.000First people of color speak, then women of color, then women, then gay, lesbian, straight, trans, bisexual, asexual, intersexual, then you, you fucking white male bread-making piece of shit!
01:50:16.000Well, carbohydrate consumption in general.
01:50:19.000When you eat carbohydrates, post-carbohydrate consumption is like a lack of mental clarity, like a downturn of the way your brain functions.
01:51:17.000Clams, the clams, everything was so fresh.
01:51:19.000But it was interesting, there was Valentin Thomas, who was a professional spearfisher person she was on the other day, and she was saying that the oceans in that area are completely overfished.
01:52:12.000It's like we're definitely in an unsustainable path, right, in terms of just what we're doing agriculturally.
01:52:19.000If you talk to farmers and you appreciate what they do with large-scale agriculture, you're not supposed to grow food in the same plot of land for fucking 50 years.
01:55:13.000But when they were going to give him the Nobel Prize for creating the Haber Method for extracting nitrogen from the atmosphere, the air around us is 80% nitrogen.
01:56:05.000On his extended family, because he created Zyklon gas, but he put...
01:56:10.000And Zyklon A, there's a smell that they attached to it, so that you were aware of when the gas was present.
01:56:16.000So like if you were working with it, if there was a leak, it was a very obvious smell.
01:56:20.000The Nazis took Zyklon A and removed that smell and turned it to Zyklon B, which they used to spray the people in the concentration camp when they murdered the Jews.
01:56:43.000And so he tried to stand up for Jews as scientists and as people, and it was like slowly getting pushed out as the Nazis were taking control.
02:00:29.000But here's the thing, you know, as I read about that stuff, and, you know, you read about it's such an unnatural thing that we're doing to the cattle to feed them this corn and all this stuff.
02:00:40.000But are we at a point where there's just so many people on the planet that this is the only way you can do it?
02:00:48.000I'm going to read you something, because people are always complaining about the methane gas that's produced by cows, and that was one of the big arguments that people would say.
02:00:56.000One of the reasons why people should not eat cows is because if you do eat cows, like say if you're on that carnivore diet and all you eat is cows, it has a massive negative contribution to the environment.
02:01:10.000But Sean Baker sent me this scientific overview, and it says, in the environmental side of the United States, the entirety of all plants and animal agriculture contributes to 9% of the total U.S. greenhouse gas emissions.
02:01:24.000Animal agriculture makes up about 4%, and cattle specifically about...
02:01:35.000If every single person in the United States gives up eating meat and went vegan and every single animal were to magically disappear, the overall worldwide effect on greenhouse gas emissions would be about less than 1% difference.
02:01:51.000He said he spoke with Professor Frank Interesting.
02:02:24.000You know, the real concern that keeps coming up.
02:02:28.000Like, I had this lady on yesterday, and she's on this carnivore diet, which it seems to me that she's got, she had some, she has massive autoimmune issues.
02:02:37.000Like, had her hip replaced when she was 17, had her ankle replaced, like, massive arthritis issues.
02:09:26.000And they just used me to burn time while the sun went down so that he could come out at nighttime.
02:09:32.000And so I'm sitting there with a guy that I'm just talking to and Smokey comes out of, you know, our dressing rooms are trailers because it's outside in this gravel driveway and stuff.
02:09:45.000He's in all red, red jumpsuit, red cool jacket, red leather boots.
02:09:50.000And he comes out and I'm like, all right, I'll get to say hi to Smokey.
02:09:55.000The SUV door opens, he goes right into this SUV. And he drives literally 20 feet and drops them off at the stage so he could go right up onto the stage.
02:10:05.000He didn't even want to get his boots dirty on the gravel walkway.
02:10:11.000Yeah, so they literally put him in this SUV. I'm telling you, from here to the end of your studio, they just dropped him off and he went right up on stage like that.
02:14:38.000You know what was impressive about it?
02:14:40.000He would tell these stories and build it without laughs.
02:14:45.000There would be like very few laughs for like 10 minutes as he's telling the story and you didn't realize even as a comic that he was building this tension so when the laugh did come It was bigger than any laugh you've ever heard.
02:15:02.000I mean, he would just, it was the building of it.
02:15:04.000He's the confidence to not feel like he had to go from laugh to laugh to laugh every 30 seconds.
02:15:10.000He would just let it build, let it build, and then it would ba-boom!
02:15:37.000You'd have to watch him almost like a scientist and observe him before.
02:15:42.000I wonder if you would think about it, too.
02:15:43.000Like, now, if you watch it, even if you watch the recording, you'd be watching it thinking, I wonder if he, right now, in the back of his mind, he's like, holy shit, I'm a rapist.
02:27:57.000There's a guy who lives up the street from me, and I had my car and I was washing it, and he pulled by with the same exact car, but his was totally stocked.
02:28:06.000And he looked at mine, and immediately he could tell.
02:28:08.000Like, he looked at the wheels, all these giant fat steamroller tires on it.
02:31:01.000Like, the people, if you've never heard the Jay Leno episode, go listen to it, because he tells some fucking insane stories about doing gigs for the mob.
02:38:46.000But then, you know, when I had said that on the podcast, that it was weird and that he just kind of hugged a chick and his hand went down her back, then someone sent me an article that there was more than one incident.
02:39:04.000But they had to end up changing the name of it.
02:39:07.000So anyway, I spend a lot of time writing for that.
02:39:10.000Then it went really from writing my book, and then I got that gig, so I continued writing at that pace, and now I'm continuing to write like that.
02:39:36.000Sitting there and writing stuff out and really parsing it.
02:39:39.000But it does make me think, and I haven't been able to crack it, of why not put that effort of that intense writing style into the stand-up?