The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1183

00:00:00.000 Here we go.

00:00:01.000 Four, three, two, one.

00:00:06.000 Let's get the sound of this popping up.

00:00:08.000 I am at Chino Santino, ladies and gentlemen.

00:00:10.000 He just popped open a maker's to taunt me during Sober October.

00:00:15.000 Let me hear that.

00:00:17.000 Let me hear that.

00:00:17.000 Let me hear it.

00:00:18.000 Oh, that does sound lovely.

00:00:22.000 I can't wait.

00:00:23.000 This one's for Fat Bert and for Ari.

00:00:27.000 11. I have 20 days.

00:00:29.000 20 days of sobriety.

00:00:31.000 That ain't shit.

00:00:31.000 I already did 11. But let me tell you something what I've learned from this.

00:00:34.000 This is what we were talking about before the podcast started.

00:00:36.000 You wanna hear me?

00:00:37.000 I'm gonna pour some coffee like an alcoholic.

00:00:42.000 Like it's a fucking AA meeting?

00:00:43.000 I need a cigar or a cigar.

00:00:45.000 Hey, I'm Joe.

00:00:46.000 Do we have cigars here?

00:00:48.000 Don't I have cigars here?

00:00:49.000 I do, right?

00:00:50.000 We should.

00:00:51.000 They're in one of these things?

00:00:52.000 In that humidor.

00:00:55.000 One of the things that I realized is that if you work out, like I'm working out, like fucking three hours a day, because I'm literally trying to kill Bert.

00:01:03.000 I want Bert to try to keep up with me.

00:01:04.000 You want him to die, though.

00:01:05.000 I'm trying to kill him.

00:01:06.000 Yeah, I'm trying to give him a heart attack.

00:01:08.000 Because you know what bothers me?

00:01:09.000 This is all weed, and there's mushrooms in here.

00:01:14.000 There's no cigars.

00:01:14.000 No cigars.

00:01:15.000 All good shit.

00:01:17.000 Maybe.

00:01:18.000 I might have taken him out of here.

00:01:19.000 A humidor.

00:01:21.000 We gotta get a huge humidor for you.

00:01:23.000 A humidor.

00:01:24.000 A humidor.

00:01:25.000 What I realized...

00:01:27.000 This is why I'm trying to kill Burt.

00:01:28.000 Yeah.

00:01:29.000 He likes to pretend...

00:01:31.000 That he's in shape?

00:01:32.000 Yes, that his effort is spectacular.

00:01:34.000 Yeah, no.

00:01:35.000 He likes to pretend that he can push himself.

00:01:38.000 That he's got this incredible will.

00:01:39.000 He's in last place, of course.

00:01:41.000 Yeah, dead last.

00:01:41.000 By quite a bit.

00:01:42.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:01:42.000 I saw the points.

00:01:43.000 Like a thousand points.

00:01:43.000 It's really sad.

00:01:44.000 Yeah.

00:01:44.000 And, you know, he takes days off when everybody doesn't.

00:01:48.000 I took three days off when I went to Vegas.

00:01:49.000 I'm still in the lead.

00:01:51.000 Yeah.

00:01:52.000 Well, you know, I've seen his cooking show.

00:01:54.000 I know how he eats.

00:01:55.000 I've seen his fucking...

00:01:56.000 It's the booze, man.

00:01:57.000 Yeah, the booze, too.

00:01:58.000 His body, I mean, he's...

00:01:59.000 I love Bert, and this is one of the reasons why I'm trying to kill him.

00:02:02.000 I fucking hate him.

00:02:03.000 Let's fight Bert, you son of a bitch.

00:02:05.000 I want him to realize, like, this is not...

00:02:07.000 You're ten years younger than me, and you have to take high blood pressure medication.

00:02:11.000 This is all not good.

00:02:12.000 Yeah, no, it's not good.

00:02:13.000 You're doing something terrible to your body by drinking every night.

00:02:17.000 Yeah.

00:02:17.000 You shouldn't do it.

00:02:18.000 What does he do, a bottle a night, you think?

00:02:19.000 He gets down, dude.

00:02:21.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:02:21.000 He gets down.

00:02:22.000 He can drink.

00:02:22.000 He'll drink a whole box of wine.

00:02:24.000 One of those box wines.

00:02:26.000 He's a Franzia freak?

00:02:27.000 He's an animal, man.

00:02:29.000 He'll drink a whole Tito's.

00:02:30.000 Like a whole jug of Tito's.

00:02:32.000 I've seen that.

00:02:32.000 I've seen that go down.

00:02:33.000 What's going on here?

00:02:34.000 He's freaking out.

00:02:35.000 He takes his shirt off.

00:02:36.000 No shit.

00:02:37.000 Of course he does.

00:02:37.000 Oh my god, look at the belly.

00:02:38.000 Look at that fucking stomach.

00:02:39.000 Here's the thing, man.

00:02:40.000 Can he see his dick?

00:02:41.000 Do you think he sees his dick?

00:02:41.000 We can search for it.

00:02:43.000 Yeah, find it.

00:02:44.000 It's a hide-and-go dick.

00:02:45.000 Why is he taking his shirt off?

00:02:46.000 What's the deal?

00:02:47.000 This is a podcast.

00:02:48.000 I saw this.

00:02:49.000 Norton and him.

00:02:51.000 What was he saying on this?

00:02:52.000 He called his wife for something to ask something about sex and his kids were in the car.

00:02:57.000 Oh, his kids were in the car.

00:02:58.000 Oh, wonderful.

00:02:59.000 Yeah, and he panics.

00:03:01.000 He hasn't done that before.

00:03:02.000 No shit.

00:03:03.000 Hammered.

00:03:05.000 But Tom lost all the weight when they had that weight loss challenge two years ago, not last year, the year before.

00:03:12.000 Yeah, but Segura looks good.

00:03:13.000 Segura never gained it back.

00:03:14.000 No, yeah, he stayed.

00:03:15.000 He actually lost a little.

00:03:16.000 He looks fucking fantastic.

00:03:17.000 He looks fantastic.

00:03:18.000 And he's in the hunt.

00:03:19.000 It's like Ari and him are just behind me.

00:03:22.000 Ari and him are neck and neck.

00:03:23.000 Ari's number two, and he's just behind Ari.

00:03:25.000 And then Segura's way...

00:03:26.000 I mean, then Bert is way behind everybody else.

00:03:28.000 But Ari needs to lose no weight.

00:03:30.000 Zero weight.

00:03:31.000 He's already thin as fuck.

00:03:32.000 He's down to 180 pounds.

00:03:34.000 He said for the first time in like decades.

00:03:36.000 What is he, 6'4"?

00:03:37.000 3?

00:03:38.000 4?

00:03:39.000 6'4?

00:03:40.000 Yeah, right?

00:03:40.000 That's gotta be right.

00:03:42.000 But he looks great.

00:03:43.000 He's thin and healthy.

00:03:45.000 I mean, for a snarly Jewish guy, he looks good.

00:03:48.000 His face is bad, but his body looks good.

00:03:50.000 A little angry without the weed.

00:03:51.000 But I think that this is helping him.

00:03:54.000 And this is one of the things I was saying, is that I'm literally working out two, sometimes three hours a day.

00:04:01.000 You split it up, or you just do one full session?

00:04:03.000 Sometimes I just go ham.

00:04:04.000 Fuck.

00:04:04.000 I'll just go hard.

00:04:05.000 I'll just mix things up.

00:04:06.000 Like, I'll run, and then I'll come back from running, and I'll kickbox, and after I kickbox, I'll get on the elliptical machine, or I'll lift weights, and after I lift weights, and then I'll get on the fucking echo bike.

00:04:16.000 You know what the echo bike is, all those airdyne things?

00:04:18.000 And then I'll get on the VersaClimber, and then I'll get on the rowing machine, and I just do rounds.

00:04:22.000 When I can't row anymore, look at this fucking puddle I left behind.

00:04:25.000 This is a puddle on my elliptical machine.

00:04:28.000 Jesus fucking Christ.

00:04:30.000 This was two hours on the elliptical machine.

00:04:33.000 I just wanted to see what's possible, and then how I felt the next day.

00:04:37.000 I felt fine.

00:04:38.000 The thing is, I work out a lot already, so now my body's just adjusting to a ramped up schedule.

00:04:44.000 Yeah, a higher level workout.

00:04:46.000 Whereas Ari doesn't work out at all.

00:04:47.000 He hasn't worked out in 10 plus years, so for him, this is a whole new thing.

00:04:51.000 But he's still second place.

00:04:53.000 It's his mind.

00:04:54.000 Ari's got a strong mind.

00:04:56.000 He's got a will.

00:04:58.000 And Segura's just going to finish somewhere in the middle?

00:05:00.000 Segura might win.

00:05:01.000 You never know.

00:05:02.000 You think he'll come up?

00:05:03.000 He probably won't beat me.

00:05:04.000 No.

00:05:05.000 There's too much anger.

00:05:06.000 There should be something big, big on the line, though.

00:05:09.000 Yeah, there's nothing on the line.

00:05:10.000 We have a belt.

00:05:11.000 Yeah, there should be something big on the line.

00:05:12.000 We have to finalize that belt, Jamie.

00:05:13.000 Some good artwork, which we have some, but...

00:05:15.000 Yeah, folks, get at me on Instagram.

00:05:20.000 Use the hashtag, you know, use like at Joe Rogan, tag me, and if you win, I'll give you 500 bucks.

00:05:27.000 Okay?

00:05:27.000 Look at that.

00:05:28.000 People are scrambling for fucking pens right now.

00:05:30.000 Anybody who comes up with the best design, I'll give you 500 bucks.

00:05:34.000 If I don't choose anybody, nobody gets shit.

00:05:36.000 If you don't choose anybody, you burn the money.

00:05:38.000 That's what Joe's gonna do.

00:05:38.000 He's gonna burn it.

00:05:39.000 Yeah, we need it quick.

00:05:40.000 I have an artist that's trying to work on it, too.

00:05:42.000 So there's a run.

00:05:43.000 There's a mad run here.

00:05:46.000 But what I was gonna say is, all bullshit aside, jokes, and I do love Bernie, and I do love everybody else doing this, but all jokes aside, I have zero anxiety.

00:06:01.000 Zero worry, zero stress.

00:06:03.000 Like, when you burn your body out like that, do like two hours of working out a day, I don't give a fuck about anything.

00:06:10.000 Like, I'm in traffic, people cut me off.

00:06:12.000 I'm like, good luck, dick fuck.

00:06:13.000 Don't give a fuck.

00:06:13.000 Go ahead, cut me off, dickhead.

00:06:15.000 Who cares?

00:06:15.000 I'm not angry.

00:06:17.000 Like, there's nothing.

00:06:17.000 What is it?

00:06:18.000 Because your body's so burnt, you think you're just so fucking exhausted?

00:06:20.000 I think.

00:06:21.000 This is my feeling.

00:06:23.000 I feel a lot of those feelings that you have, whether it's anxiety or stress, it's just extra energy that your body has.

00:06:31.000 It's unnecessary.

00:06:33.000 It's unnecessary energy.

00:06:34.000 And it's just like your body's looking for trouble that isn't there, looking for danger that isn't there, looking for something that's going to steal your food or invade your village.

00:06:45.000 All that shit.

00:06:46.000 Who's going to kill my family?

00:06:47.000 Well, I think your body has to have a certain...

00:06:50.000 The way we were designed, right?

00:06:51.000 For all the years that we were running away from wild animals and other tribes and all that shit, I think your body and your brain have a certain amount on reserve, always looking for some sort of danger.

00:07:06.000 Like, you ever see a deer in the wild that's like...

00:07:09.000 Oh, yeah.

00:07:10.000 Twitchy and move their ears.

00:07:12.000 Snapping around and shit.

00:07:12.000 Is that a mountain lion?

00:07:13.000 Is that a mountain lion?

00:07:14.000 Is that a mountain lion?

00:07:14.000 There's a mountain lion in my neighborhood, by the way.

00:07:16.000 There is?

00:07:16.000 Yeah, one of the neighbors spotted a mountain lion.

00:07:19.000 You got your fucking bow out?

00:07:20.000 Good luck shooting a mountain lion with a bow.

00:07:22.000 Be fun, though, huh?

00:07:23.000 Yeah.

00:07:24.000 You'd have to...

00:07:25.000 The odds of you shooting a mountain...

00:07:27.000 Yeah, what is that that walks by that lady?

00:07:29.000 Is that a cat?

00:07:30.000 That's a fucking...

00:07:31.000 No, that's not a cat.

00:07:32.000 People said it was a mountain lion because of how its tail popped up.

00:07:35.000 It looks like a mountain lion.

00:07:36.000 But it's just way too casual walking by her.

00:07:39.000 She doesn't give a fuck.

00:07:40.000 She doesn't know what it is.

00:07:42.000 It definitely looks like a cat.

00:07:43.000 She thought it was a dog, huh?

00:07:45.000 It kind of looks like a dog.

00:07:46.000 It's just way too calm the way it walks by her.

00:07:49.000 That's not a wild cat.

00:07:51.000 I think that's a dog, man.

00:07:53.000 But it doesn't look like it.

00:07:55.000 A dog.

00:07:55.000 Maybe a mountain lion.

00:07:57.000 Made its debut.

00:07:58.000 Nobody knows what the fuck it is.

00:08:00.000 Terrifying!

00:08:00.000 Or not.

00:08:00.000 Even wildlife experts are looking at that video and they're like...

00:08:04.000 See, like, I'm not a wildlife expert, but I've seen a lot of wildlife.

00:08:07.000 The tail does not look right.

00:08:08.000 The tail looks like a cat.

00:08:10.000 Does it?

00:08:10.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:08:11.000 It does.

00:08:11.000 Let's see it again.

00:08:12.000 The tail definitely looks like a cat.

00:08:14.000 It doesn't look like a dog tail.

00:08:15.000 It looks like a balancing tail.

00:08:17.000 Like, if you look at how it's walking...

00:08:18.000 I guess, yeah.

00:08:19.000 It's like, yeah, yeah.

00:08:20.000 Yeah, it kind of does look like a fucking cat tail.

00:08:21.000 Let me see it again.

00:08:23.000 That's a fucking dog, though.

00:08:24.000 It could be a dog.

00:08:25.000 You know how people trim their dog hair and they make their dogs look fucking stupid?

00:08:28.000 Yeah, but it's the way the tail looks, man.

00:08:29.000 It's like the tail.

00:08:30.000 It's holding its tail in the air.

00:08:31.000 You see what I'm saying?

00:08:32.000 Yeah, it is.

00:08:33.000 We checked the tracks and they were definitely dog tracks.

00:08:35.000 See, there we go.

00:08:37.000 So it's a dog.

00:08:37.000 It's a faggot dog.

00:08:40.000 It's my dog.

00:08:42.000 It's fucking...

00:08:43.000 I told myself I wasn't going to say the F word anymore and I did it.

00:08:46.000 It snuck out.

00:08:46.000 Talking about a dog.

00:08:47.000 It makes its way out.

00:08:49.000 I think this dog identifies as a cat.

00:08:54.000 I heard the dog identifies as a person now.

00:08:56.000 It wants to be called Kelvin.

00:08:58.000 That's its name.

00:08:59.000 Yeah, the dog says, I'm Kelvin.

00:09:01.000 Well, you have to respect its feelings.

00:09:04.000 It has every right to be whatever it wants to be, man.

00:09:07.000 Did you just assume that animals...

00:09:10.000 I fucked up.

00:09:11.000 I assumed it's identity.

00:09:13.000 It's identity?

00:09:13.000 Yeah, that's fucked up.

00:09:14.000 That's a big mistake on my part.

00:09:15.000 You got a lot of fucking nerve, Joe Rogan.

00:09:17.000 I do have a lot of nerve.

00:09:19.000 I'm fucking deeply embarrassed by myself.

00:09:21.000 You need to go to a support group for people who think that dogs are just dogs.

00:09:24.000 They're more than that.

00:09:25.000 Maybe it's not even a cat.

00:09:26.000 Maybe it's just a sentient being.

00:09:27.000 Maybe it identifies as like a sentient being.

00:09:30.000 It's just a being.

00:09:30.000 It's an orb of energy and light.

00:09:32.000 Not a dog.

00:09:32.000 Not a cat.

00:09:34.000 Just a thing that exists.

00:09:36.000 Yeah.

00:09:36.000 And maybe we don't have the right to define it.

00:09:39.000 You're goddamn right.

00:09:39.000 I mean, when you call something a cat, by whose judgment?

00:09:42.000 By human's judgment?

00:09:43.000 And that's a feminine word.

00:09:45.000 Cat.

00:09:46.000 Yeah, you say a cat.

00:09:47.000 Cat's a feminine word.

00:09:47.000 The way you said it sounds feminine.

00:09:49.000 But what about Cool Cat?

00:09:50.000 Like, if you're a cool black guy, you're like, yeah, he's a cool cat.

00:09:52.000 Black people, their rules don't apply.

00:09:53.000 They don't use that anymore, do they?

00:09:55.000 Cool Cat, no.

00:09:56.000 Hardly anybody uses Cool Cat.

00:09:58.000 No one's saying Jive Turkey anymore, either.

00:10:00.000 Jive Turkey was fun, I bet, though, for a while.

00:10:01.000 Who do you think was the last guy to say Jive Turkey in all earnestness?

00:10:09.000 I think I saw a shitty movie in the 90s where a black comic used Jive Turkey.

00:10:15.000 Oh!

00:10:15.000 Nick Cannon!

00:10:16.000 I saw a thing in Nick Cannon.

00:10:17.000 Look up Jive Turkey and Nick Cannon.

00:10:19.000 Is he serious?

00:10:19.000 Oh, dead serious.

00:10:20.000 He's cutting it out, Jive Turkey.

00:10:21.000 Yeah.

00:10:22.000 Oh, but he was probably being silly.

00:10:23.000 Nick Cannon's a comedian.

00:10:25.000 Yeah.

00:10:26.000 With no loosest sense of the word.

00:10:27.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:10:29.000 He does stand-up comedy, doesn't he?

00:10:31.000 Sure.

00:10:32.000 He had a stand-up comedy special.

00:10:33.000 Sure.

00:10:34.000 Yeah, look at Jamie's smirk.

00:10:36.000 Yeah, Jamie's smirking.

00:10:38.000 His stand-up comedy special was called Stand Up, Don't Shoot.

00:10:42.000 Really?

00:10:42.000 I'm dead serious.

00:10:43.000 It was called Stand Up, Don't Shoot.

00:10:44.000 Okay.

00:10:45.000 And he wore a...

00:10:46.000 You know, he wears like a...

00:10:48.000 Space suit?

00:10:49.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:10:50.000 What is it called?

00:10:50.000 Cat outfit.

00:10:51.000 He wears like a fucking...

00:10:52.000 What is it called?

00:10:54.000 One of them Indian headdress?

00:10:56.000 Muslim headwear.

00:10:56.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:10:57.000 What?

00:10:58.000 Doesn't he?

00:10:58.000 Just a hat.

00:10:59.000 No, no, dude.

00:11:00.000 Hijab?

00:11:00.000 Hijab, hijab.

00:11:01.000 Yeah, he wears a hijab.

00:11:02.000 Does he?

00:11:02.000 Yes, he does.

00:11:02.000 No, that's a fucking knit cap.

00:11:03.000 I know, not, but look, Google Nick Cannon hijab.

00:11:06.000 He wears the shit.

00:11:06.000 Fucking, uh, Howard Stern was giving him shit about it forever because he was wearing it.

00:11:11.000 Watch.

00:11:12.000 It'll be, it'll come around.

00:11:13.000 Told you, bro.

00:11:14.000 He wears a turban.

00:11:16.000 Oh my, wait a minute.

00:11:17.000 What the fuck?

00:11:18.000 Nick Cannon explains his reason for wearing a turban.

00:11:21.000 Get to that one, please, on Ellen.

00:11:25.000 I just don't have any breath in my body.

00:11:30.000 I can't.

00:11:31.000 What is his explanation?

00:11:33.000 I don't remember what he said it was.

00:11:34.000 What did he say?

00:11:34.000 I don't know.

00:11:35.000 Some fucking bullshit.

00:11:37.000 Hold on a second.

00:11:38.000 You know me.

00:11:39.000 I'm a conspiracy theorist.

00:11:40.000 I think the government did that.

00:11:41.000 They set her up.

00:11:42.000 What is that about?

00:11:44.000 Mariah?

00:11:44.000 No, that was some bullshit.

00:11:45.000 Wait a minute.

00:11:45.000 Hold on a second.

00:11:47.000 Ellen 58 then asked Nick about Mariah's New Year's Eve televised performance that was marred by technical difficulties.

00:11:55.000 And he said, you know me, I'm a conspiracy theorist.

00:11:58.000 I think the government did that.

00:11:59.000 I think they set her up.

00:12:00.000 It was a distraction.

00:12:02.000 Oh, he's joking.

00:12:03.000 Yeah.

00:12:04.000 No, no, no.

00:12:04.000 See?

00:12:05.000 He said he was a comic.

00:12:06.000 That was hilarious, right?

00:12:06.000 That was so good.

00:12:08.000 That was very funny.

00:12:08.000 Why does he say?

00:12:09.000 I like his white Fonz jacket.

00:12:11.000 I've never seen a white one like that.

00:12:13.000 It's like an old-school motorcycle jacket, but it's white.

00:12:15.000 White guys can't wear white jackets, that's why.

00:12:17.000 Yeah, they can.

00:12:17.000 No, they can't.

00:12:18.000 Sure they can.

00:12:19.000 You can't wear a white leather jacket.

00:12:20.000 I can with hoop earrings.

00:12:22.000 Okay, yeah.

00:12:22.000 Big ol' Latina hoop earrings.

00:12:25.000 Yeah, I want to see you wear those.

00:12:26.000 And if I had hair, I'd wear braids.

00:12:28.000 That should be the bet.

00:12:29.000 You gotta wear a white leather jacket and hoop earrings if you lose.

00:12:32.000 The white guys, they don't seem to get called out for cornrows.

00:12:35.000 It's really, white girls can't wear cornrows.

00:12:38.000 Yeah, but do you see white guys with cornrows?

00:12:40.000 I don't ever see white guys with cornrows.

00:12:41.000 Look at this.

00:12:41.000 Nick Cannon, weight gain.

00:12:43.000 What the fuck is wrong with people?

00:12:44.000 Let the guy gain a little weight, you fucking idiots.

00:12:47.000 Worry about yourself.

00:12:48.000 The guy's got a pink turban.

00:12:49.000 What is his reasoning for the turban?

00:12:51.000 I can't...

00:12:51.000 That picture that I posted on my Instagram about the British-Iraqi...

00:12:59.000 Gender queer, whatever the fuck is.

00:13:01.000 Look at this.

00:13:02.000 Quantum physics really helped me understand my queer identity.

00:13:05.000 I'm British, Iraqi, gay, non-binary, and identify as Muslim.

00:13:10.000 That is real.

00:13:11.000 By the way, this is a video.

00:13:12.000 If you go to, um, whose Instagram?

00:13:16.000 Oh, James Woods.

00:13:18.000 Posted it on his Twitter page.

00:13:19.000 If you go to James Woods Twitter page and he says is that that's Ali G, right?

00:13:24.000 That's what he said.

00:13:24.000 That is funny.

00:13:25.000 Yeah, or that's Sasha.

00:13:26.000 This is Sasha Baron Cohen.

00:13:27.000 Yeah, if you go to his Twitter page and you find it from yesterday, that's where I saw it and There's an actual video that goes along with it.

00:13:36.000 Now.

00:13:36.000 Here's what's interesting when you listen to this person I don't want to Assume their gender.

00:13:43.000 No, just say this something.

00:13:46.000 It seems very intelligent.

00:13:49.000 Like a very intelligent person.

00:13:51.000 Sure.

00:13:52.000 But, yeah, he posts a lot.

00:13:54.000 All James Woods does all day is just drink coffee and talk shit about liberals.

00:13:57.000 Keep going down.

00:14:00.000 Yeah, just keep going.

00:14:03.000 He's got some Kavanaugh mixed in.

00:14:05.000 He's got some fake news mixed in.

00:14:07.000 It's in there.

00:14:08.000 I like beer.

00:14:09.000 I guarantee you.

00:14:09.000 I still like beer.

00:14:13.000 Keep going.

00:14:13.000 It might be in there.

00:14:15.000 Was it a response to someone?

00:14:17.000 No, no, no.

00:14:18.000 I don't think so.

00:14:19.000 There it is.

00:14:20.000 It's right there.

00:14:21.000 Bam.

00:14:21.000 Okay.

00:14:22.000 Go live.

00:14:23.000 Go large.

00:14:24.000 Go large on this.

00:14:26.000 Go large, go live.

00:14:27.000 And bring it to the beginning, because this is quite hilarious.

00:14:31.000 Hold on.

00:14:31.000 Bring it to the beginning.

00:14:33.000 Here we go.

00:14:46.000 The glitteriest makeup I've ever seen on any human.

00:14:52.000 Quantum physics has helped him understand his queer identity.

00:14:55.000 Okay.

00:14:56.000 Now listen.

00:14:58.000 She's a fucking space cadet.

00:15:00.000 The pictures are insane.

00:15:01.000 But listen.

00:15:03.000 ...glorious sector physics that looks at the subatomic particles that govern our world.

00:15:08.000 So, inside the neutrons, electrons and the protons, you're looking at the quarks, leptons, bosons and the Higgs.

00:15:15.000 Whereas classical Newtonian physics is obsessed with the universal formula that govern our reality, it's so fixed on resolute answers.

00:15:25.000 Quantum physics reveals that there is no fixed reality and it's full of beautiful contradictions.

00:15:33.000 Okay, so here's my point.

00:15:34.000 You can keep going on and watch this, but this is a very intelligent person.

00:15:38.000 Sure.

00:15:38.000 So why am I so dismissive?

00:15:40.000 Why?

00:15:41.000 Why can't this person wear, like, if a woman was beautiful and she wore, like, a dark red lipstick, but she was talking brilliant science, I wouldn't have an issue with it.

00:15:51.000 So why do I have an issue with this glam-roo fella?

00:15:55.000 Glam-roo.

00:15:58.000 Fella-wom.

00:15:59.000 I'm glam-roo, Joe.

00:16:01.000 Why do I have an issue with the bright blue glittery lips, the literal rainbow-colored eyeshadow with glitter, the false eyelashes...

00:16:13.000 Is this Tekashi 6ix9ine?

00:16:16.000 Here's my thing with this whole thing.

00:16:17.000 I don't give a fuck what you want to be, who you want to identify with.

00:16:20.000 I'm for real cool with all that shit.

00:16:22.000 I think this is like peacocking at its finest form.

00:16:25.000 This is calling for attention.

00:16:26.000 So the reason that we all are like...

00:16:28.000 And when they get mad, like, what are you looking at?

00:16:30.000 You know when someone's like, what are you looking at?

00:16:31.000 You're like, you!

00:16:32.000 You!

00:16:32.000 You fucking did this show for me to see.

00:16:35.000 Otherwise you'd stay in private and have your own life.

00:16:37.000 You want me to react.

00:16:39.000 But why do I like some of it?

00:16:40.000 Like, if there's a seven-year-old black dude and he's got like a red velvet suit on.

00:16:46.000 Well, he looks cool as shit.

00:16:47.000 Right?

00:16:48.000 With like a slick fedora.

00:16:50.000 And he's walking down the street with a fucking snakehead silver cane.

00:16:55.000 Hey, Joe Rogan.

00:16:56.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:16:57.000 I mean, I look at that guy, I go, look at this cool motherfucker.

00:16:59.000 Yeah.

00:17:00.000 But he's peacocking as well.

00:17:01.000 Yeah, but this is attention-grabbing because they want you to...

00:17:05.000 Okay, these people, the people who want to be larger than life that do things like this to express who they really are, that they want to have a discussion.

00:17:14.000 Whether or not they want to have true discourse, they want you to go, what is this?

00:17:19.000 What are you?

00:17:20.000 They want that.

00:17:21.000 And they also want to, quote-unquote, inform you or argue with you about who they are.

00:17:26.000 Their identity.

00:17:26.000 Yes.

00:17:27.000 Their identity.

00:17:28.000 Yeah, but that's my whole thing.

00:17:29.000 Why can't you just be the thing you are?

00:17:31.000 You don't need to have so many fucking, look at that, nine labels.

00:17:33.000 I'm Iraqi, gay, British, Muslim.

00:17:35.000 It's like, dude, whatever.

00:17:36.000 You're glam-roo.

00:17:37.000 I agree with you.

00:17:38.000 Yeah, be glam-ru.

00:17:39.000 But I also, myself, I'm questioning my own judgmental nature.

00:17:44.000 You're saying, why do you prejudge?

00:17:45.000 Why do I give a fuck?

00:17:45.000 Why do I care?

00:17:46.000 Because it's outside of the realm of normalcy.

00:17:48.000 But what is normalcy?

00:17:50.000 These are pre-fucking normal dudes from normal standards of what's kind of the same thing you've seen for the past, you know?

00:17:58.000 Right.

00:17:59.000 So we fit in the culture where we don't stand out, so we're not asking for additional attention.

00:18:03.000 Yeah, no.

00:18:04.000 Yeah.

00:18:05.000 This is a call to attention, a call to discussion.

00:18:09.000 And again, I don't have anything against this fucking person.

00:18:13.000 I don't know him.

00:18:13.000 I don't give a shit about him.

00:18:14.000 I just know that this is clearly for you to go, what the fuck?

00:18:19.000 That's why that is.

00:18:20.000 What if I was dressed exactly like this, but I had a thick rope chain with a star on it that had all diamonds?

00:18:26.000 You want me to say something about it.

00:18:28.000 That's why you wore that, right?

00:18:29.000 You'd want me to go, why the fuck are you wearing that shit?

00:18:32.000 Right.

00:18:33.000 Why the fuck are you wearing that?

00:18:35.000 Right, right, right.

00:18:35.000 In fact, it would be insane if I sat here the whole fucking interview and wasn't like, show, what the fuck is that?

00:18:42.000 Why do you have a star like the size of a Mercedes emblem all in diamonds?

00:18:45.000 And you'd be the asshole if you go, oh, what is this?

00:18:49.000 Do I have to fucking talk?

00:18:50.000 Do you have to know my identity with my...

00:18:52.000 This is a part of my culture, man.

00:18:54.000 Okay, well, explain it because I don't get it because it's not what I'm fucking used to.

00:18:57.000 Or, okay, how about a white guy who dresses like that but talks like he's not a white guy?

00:19:04.000 Right, right, right.

00:19:04.000 Well, dude, this guy, that's the guy I was talking about.

00:19:09.000 He's a great troll.

00:19:10.000 He's actually so good at it.

00:19:11.000 Do you think he really got pistol-whipped in Brooklyn and robbed, or do you think he did that to himself?

00:19:15.000 No, I think that was all a big fucking media push.

00:19:17.000 But I think he's a genius for doing it because it got him way more attention.

00:19:21.000 He might have got robbed, though.

00:19:23.000 I think this kid is actually very smart.

00:19:26.000 What did you say, Jamie?

00:19:26.000 He got his stuff back.

00:19:28.000 They took his chain and shit.

00:19:29.000 And they gave it back?

00:19:31.000 How do you get his stuff back?

00:19:31.000 Real thieves don't give shit back.

00:19:35.000 The chains go back sometimes.

00:19:37.000 What do you know about black culture?

00:19:39.000 Look at Jamie.

00:19:40.000 Jamie's all pretended.

00:19:41.000 Jamie's in the motherfucking streets.

00:19:43.000 Listen, guys, sometimes the chains come back.

00:19:46.000 I'm not saying how they get them back.

00:19:49.000 I didn't say they didn't pay for them back.

00:19:51.000 Guys, I'm on black Twitter.

00:19:52.000 You guys don't know.

00:19:54.000 Relax.

00:19:54.000 Jamie's like, my black friend Mark.

00:19:56.000 Guys, I went to the Drake concert.

00:19:58.000 Relax.

00:19:59.000 I got this.

00:20:01.000 I bought the Carter Five, fellas.

00:20:03.000 Listen up.

00:20:04.000 Jay-Z and Beyonce will no longer speak to Kanye and Kim Kardashian.

00:20:08.000 Fact.

00:20:09.000 According to the fucking fake news, bro.

00:20:11.000 Fake news.

00:20:12.000 No, it was just out yesterday.

00:20:14.000 Not really?

00:20:15.000 Yes, it was yesterday.

00:20:15.000 They publicly disavowed Kanye West and Kim Kardashian because of his position on Trump.

00:20:21.000 Jamie's gotta Google it.

00:20:23.000 I don't believe this.

00:20:25.000 Jamie, fastest one-handed typer in the fucking business.

00:20:27.000 Look at that, see?

00:20:29.000 It's over, bitch.

00:20:30.000 22 hours ago.

00:20:31.000 Sever Ties, motherfucker.

00:20:32.000 The Daily Mail.

00:20:33.000 Sever Ties.

00:20:35.000 It's in hotnewhiphop.com.

00:20:37.000 Hot New Hip Hop.

00:20:39.000 It's on NME. What's NME? New media entertainment.

00:20:44.000 Sever ties.

00:20:45.000 Sever ties.

00:20:47.000 It's over.

00:20:49.000 We sever ties, motherfucker.

00:20:51.000 We're not talking to you anymore.

00:20:52.000 You don't come to our champagne parties.

00:20:55.000 It's over, bitch.

00:20:55.000 This is why it matters, because people are waiting for that album to come out.

00:20:57.000 Watch the throne, too.

00:20:58.000 Yeah, that's what it is.

00:20:59.000 It's just more press.

00:21:00.000 They have an album.

00:21:01.000 Yeah, a collab album.

00:21:02.000 Yeah, well, Jay-Z's probably like, I can't do it with this crazy motherfucker anymore.

00:21:05.000 Yeah, but you know what?

00:21:06.000 This whole thing with Kanye and this whole push about getting Kaepernick to have lunch with Trump, it's brilliant.

00:21:12.000 I think he used the whole platform of SNL just to get Trump to go, I love Kanye.

00:21:18.000 He wants Trump to be so in love with, Kanye wants Trump to love him so much that he's willing to actually take a meeting with someone he's been publicly shitting on for a year now.

00:21:27.000 All Trump has been doing is saying Kaepernick is a terrible representation of this country, a bad football player, a bad person.

00:21:33.000 He's been dumping, dumping, dumping.

00:21:35.000 And then Kanye is going to sucker him and twist his mind into thinking he should actually sit and have lunch with him.

00:21:40.000 I bet my life it'll happen.

00:21:42.000 That Trump will go, okay, I'll take a meeting because I love Kanye.

00:21:46.000 And it's just out of respect for Kanye.

00:21:48.000 So he'll get him and fucking Kaepernick in the room.

00:21:52.000 I swear to God, watch it happen.

00:21:53.000 I hope he does.

00:21:54.000 But here's the thing.

00:21:55.000 Donald Trump's not a cop.

00:21:57.000 He's not shooting black people.

00:21:59.000 The whole thing is bizarre.

00:22:00.000 Yeah, it makes no sense.

00:22:02.000 When Kaepernick is on his knees during the national anthem, that's bizarre too.

00:22:07.000 Because people are just there for a game.

00:22:09.000 I completely understand that you're disgusted by police brutality.

00:22:16.000 I think virtually everyone is.

00:22:18.000 And my take on it is...

00:22:21.000 It's, first of all, it's insanely difficult to be a police officer.

00:22:26.000 You have a lot of people that are police officers that have no business holding that job.

00:22:30.000 They're under extreme pressure.

00:22:31.000 A lot of them have PTSD. And a lot of them, they're bullies.

00:22:35.000 And they get into this position because they want to be the guy with the gun in charge.

00:22:40.000 And then they have an opportunity to pull that trigger, and they do, and they face repercussions because someone was filming it.

00:22:46.000 And I think that shit has happened from the beginning of time.

00:22:49.000 Yeah, of course.

00:22:50.000 And there's a horrible film that we played where there was a guy...

00:22:53.000 I posted it on my Twitter.

00:22:54.000 It's fucking horrible.

00:22:55.000 Of a guy shooting a white guy who's crawling for his life.

00:22:59.000 He's telling the guy to crawl towards him.

00:23:02.000 Let me see your hands.

00:23:02.000 It's in Arizona.

00:23:03.000 And the guy's pants have fallen down.

00:23:05.000 He keeps reaching back to grab his pants.

00:23:07.000 And he goes, I will fucking shoot you if you grab your pants.

00:23:11.000 And the guy...

00:23:12.000 Is crawling and his pants start falling down.

00:23:14.000 He tries to grab his pants and the guy lights him up in the hallway of a hotel.

00:23:19.000 Yeah, fucked.

00:23:19.000 Just kills him.

00:23:20.000 Fucked.

00:23:21.000 Murdered him.

00:23:21.000 The guy was crying and begging for his life and the cop was making him crawl towards him.

00:23:27.000 Like, why the fuck would you ever make someone crawl towards you?

00:23:30.000 It's insane.

00:23:30.000 And he's giving them all these confusing directions while he's in full riot gear holding a gun.

00:23:36.000 Apparently the guy had a fake pistol like a water pistol or a water gun and was holding it out the window and someone saw it and they said there's a guy with a gun so they came in there Ready to shoot somebody already, and then they see this guy, but the guy was clearly not a threat.

00:23:52.000 And this guy had already been in trouble for other police brutality, and then got kicked off the force.

00:23:58.000 He got acquitted, by the way.

00:24:00.000 With video.

00:24:01.000 Got acquitted.

00:24:02.000 He got acquitted of the murder.

00:24:04.000 Yes, acquitted.

00:24:05.000 He murdered this guy.

00:24:05.000 With the video.

00:24:06.000 With the video.

00:24:07.000 Got acquitted, and then afterwards got kicked off the force for something else he did.

00:24:12.000 So the guy was just an abusive guy.

00:24:15.000 It was a time bomb.

00:24:16.000 Yeah, he was just going off.

00:24:17.000 There's a lot of people like that.

00:24:18.000 Totally.

00:24:19.000 And there's also some that are racist too.

00:24:21.000 It's not discounting racism.

00:24:23.000 There's some that are racist too.

00:24:24.000 But it's just a fucking insanely difficult job that no one respects or very few people respect.

00:24:30.000 And these people are in these situations every day where their life is in danger.

00:24:35.000 Yeah.

00:24:35.000 And their whole brain is frazzled.

00:24:37.000 I'm friends with a lot of cops.

00:24:39.000 I know a lot of cops from jiu-jitsu.

00:24:41.000 I've got cops in my family.

00:24:41.000 I know a lot of cops from MMA. I know a lot.

00:24:43.000 I've known a lot of cops my whole life.

00:24:46.000 Like, my whole life, growing up.

00:24:48.000 My real dad was a cop.

00:24:50.000 I grew up, like, knowing cops when I was a kid, and then all through martial arts, knew cops.

00:24:55.000 Because cops are always taking martial arts to learn how to defend themselves.

00:24:58.000 Right.

00:24:59.000 It's a fucking insane job, man.

00:25:01.000 Yeah, it's crazy.

00:25:02.000 It's fucked up.

00:25:03.000 And every day, all day long, you're dealing with people that are committing crimes.

00:25:07.000 You're dealing with people that are lying.

00:25:09.000 You're dealing with people that are lying to you.

00:25:10.000 Right.

00:25:11.000 You pull people over, they're lying.

00:25:12.000 Either they're drunk, they're on drugs, they got a body in the trunk.

00:25:15.000 It's just lies.

00:25:16.000 Everyone's lying.

00:25:17.000 Even a simple pullover is a lie.

00:25:18.000 You know how fast you were going?

00:25:19.000 Like, no, no, I think I was going on 42. What was I doing?

00:25:21.000 Was I speaking?

00:25:21.000 Was I going over?

00:25:22.000 I legitimately had a broken speedometer once, and the cop pulled me over, and I go, this is going to sound so fucking stupid.

00:25:29.000 My speedometer doesn't work.

00:25:31.000 And he's like, get that shit fixed.

00:25:32.000 I go, yeah, I should.

00:25:34.000 Yeah, I should.

00:25:34.000 Let me go.

00:25:35.000 You know why?

00:25:36.000 I'm white.

00:25:36.000 White dude.

00:25:37.000 White guy, and I was only 18 at the time.

00:25:39.000 A black dude, he's like, my speedometer's broken.

00:25:41.000 He's like, get out of the fucking car!

00:25:43.000 Get out of the fucking car!

00:25:46.000 It's not even something to joke about.

00:25:49.000 I'm sad that you just joked about it.

00:25:51.000 No, but it is fucked up.

00:25:53.000 It's fucked up.

00:25:54.000 It is fucked up, man.

00:25:55.000 But here's the thing.

00:25:56.000 Right.

00:25:57.000 Football players like Kaepernick, people like that, they kneel because they're using their platform.

00:26:02.000 Yeah.

00:26:02.000 I mean, I get that too.

00:26:04.000 Everyone should use their platform.

00:26:05.000 Here's my thing though.

00:26:06.000 Has that helped in any way?

00:26:09.000 Well, no.

00:26:09.000 See, the problem is there's no...

00:26:11.000 Okay, the problem is if you said to Kaepernick, what's your end game?

00:26:14.000 To say stop all police violence is like such a vague, broad thing to go, yeah, just stop it.

00:26:19.000 It's like, well, that's not...

00:26:20.000 To have a dialogue about it is what's important, but the problem is they need to have...

00:26:25.000 There needs to be a bigger goal for why people are kneeling.

00:26:28.000 Because the conversation is already being had.

00:26:30.000 It's not like we're kneeling so we can talk about it.

00:26:31.000 Well, we're talking about it.

00:26:33.000 There needs to be some kind of an endgame, a goal, a point of...

00:26:37.000 I'm not saying it's achievable.

00:26:38.000 It's not necessarily going to happen, but you need...

00:26:41.000 You need something to get to.

00:26:45.000 Because otherwise, this is just going to be this weird turmoil between ultimately racist people.

00:26:50.000 Because truly, the people that are yelling about it, that are angry, I don't give a fuck if they take a knee.

00:26:54.000 Are they still going to play football?

00:26:55.000 Why do you care?

00:26:55.000 Yeah, but ultimately the people that are like, you better stand up!

00:26:58.000 You better stand up!

00:26:59.000 But the thing is, it's for America.

00:27:01.000 The idea is that we're all on the same team.

00:27:04.000 I know, but this is a football game.

00:27:05.000 And if you don't want to support the team.

00:27:05.000 But why Neil, why then?

00:27:09.000 Just because people are paying attention, right?

00:27:11.000 That's exactly right, because all the eyeballs are on it.

00:27:12.000 Right.

00:27:13.000 But the idea about a nation, about everybody being on the team together, is that we're supposed to support these ideals that this song is about, I pledge of allegiance to the flag, all this jazz.

00:27:26.000 I mean, that's what we're doing, right?

00:27:26.000 I know, but I find it so odd that things have anything to do with one another.

00:27:29.000 I said it on stage one time that I was like, it's a game that has no bearing on the future of the United States of America.

00:27:35.000 You don't do that for anything else.

00:27:36.000 Right.

00:27:37.000 You don't have a dinner party and play Monopoly and someone's like, we should say the Pledge of Allegiance.

00:27:41.000 It's one thing the UFC stopped that I really liked.

00:27:44.000 They wouldn't do the fucking National Anthem.

00:27:46.000 They're like, what are we doing?

00:27:47.000 We're here for cage fights.

00:27:48.000 These are just two men competing in a sport.

00:27:50.000 But it was a big thing with boxing, and it still is, I think.

00:27:53.000 Don't they still do the National Anthems before big boxing matches?

00:27:56.000 And it's boring.

00:27:57.000 It's miserable.

00:27:58.000 You see people sing, and it's when people do that thing with their voice.

00:28:03.000 America!

00:28:05.000 They try to make the news.

00:28:07.000 The land of the free!

00:28:10.000 They do that shaky thing.

00:28:12.000 In the home of the brave!

00:28:22.000 That's the funny thing.

00:28:23.000 At any sporting event, in the middle of that home-up, that last stretch, there's always like 50,000 people going, It's a fucking America!

00:28:33.000 I think the crossover is so fucking silly.

00:28:36.000 We don't need to be singing about America at sporting events.

00:28:38.000 It doesn't have anything to do.

00:28:39.000 It doesn't have anything to do.

00:28:40.000 It should be about the sports.

00:28:41.000 The Olympics?

00:28:42.000 Definitely.

00:28:43.000 That's what it's fucking about.

00:28:44.000 This is my country versus your country.

00:28:46.000 I have my own issues about the Olympics.

00:28:48.000 I know, but I'm just saying, I get the fucking national anthems at the Olympics.

00:28:51.000 That's what it is.

00:28:52.000 But this is just the Packers versus fucking the Buccaneers.

00:28:57.000 This has nothing to do with the bearing of American future.

00:29:00.000 I agree.

00:29:00.000 Oh, well, the soldiers fought for your right to be able to play.

00:29:02.000 Soldiers fought for your right to be able to do fucking everything.

00:29:04.000 Do we have to say it before this podcast?

00:29:06.000 Right.

00:29:06.000 We should.

00:29:07.000 Okay, we should right now.

00:29:08.000 That's why there's a goddamn flag behind me, Chito Santino.

00:29:11.000 Goddamn American flag.

00:29:12.000 Yeah, but secretly the fans don't know that Joe hates the American flag.

00:29:15.000 Look what's on my phone, bitch.

00:29:17.000 Goddamn American flag on my lock screen, motherfucker.

00:29:20.000 This is trolling.

00:29:20.000 He's trolling.

00:29:21.000 Joe is actually Canadian.

00:29:23.000 Nobody knows that.

00:29:24.000 Joe's a Canadian.

00:29:25.000 Keep it down, bro.

00:29:26.000 The conspiracy Rogan theorists online like, is Joe actually born in Canada?

00:29:30.000 I've been doing Canadian propaganda on a sneak tip for years.

00:29:35.000 Toronto's a great city.

00:29:36.000 It's my favorite.

00:29:38.000 You know what?

00:29:39.000 I'm looking at you with that makers and I'm kidding.

00:29:41.000 I know.

00:29:41.000 I'm loving every second of it.

00:29:43.000 This is like an ad for Against Sober October.

00:29:45.000 It's my birthday on Tuesday.

00:29:47.000 I'm not not drinking for October.

00:29:48.000 I get it, man.

00:29:49.000 Why should you?

00:29:50.000 Do you think you would do Sober October and take a day off for your birthday and then get back to sober and then owe a day at the end of the month?

00:30:00.000 Or start a day early?

00:30:01.000 I guess I could do it, but I don't know.

00:30:04.000 Jamie, what do you think?

00:30:05.000 I can't do it?

00:30:06.000 Do you think you would do Sober November?

00:30:08.000 What about Sober February?

00:30:10.000 It's only 28 days.

00:30:10.000 That's what's fucked up about Black History Month.

00:30:13.000 That is the shortest month.

00:30:14.000 The shortest month.

00:30:16.000 You say they gave them.

00:30:17.000 What if it was picked?

00:30:19.000 What if the NAACP picked it?

00:30:20.000 Doubt it.

00:30:21.000 Yeah.

00:30:22.000 It's just white.

00:30:23.000 It's whitey.

00:30:23.000 White people being like, what's the shortest day?

00:30:26.000 White ass.

00:30:26.000 Shortest month.

00:30:27.000 Crack ass.

00:30:28.000 Fucking white, crusty-looking, baloney-stinking motherfuckers.

00:30:32.000 I wish there was a good slur for breeders.

00:30:35.000 You know, for straight people.

00:30:37.000 That, like, matched up with faggot?

00:30:39.000 Yeah, something like, uh...

00:30:41.000 You know what I mean?

00:30:42.000 Wouldn't it be good if they had one for us?

00:30:45.000 Normal.

00:30:46.000 So you could use it on yourself?

00:30:48.000 Normal.

00:30:48.000 You fucking normal.

00:30:49.000 You fucking...

00:30:50.000 Goddamn normies.

00:30:50.000 Basic is a pretty...

00:30:51.000 Basic ass bitch.

00:30:53.000 Basic fucking breeding ass.

00:30:54.000 Going out penis in vagina.

00:30:56.000 Putting dicks in pussies like fucking antiquated losers.

00:31:00.000 Yeah.

00:31:01.000 Fucking archaic monkeys.

00:31:04.000 Stupid ass sperm-soaking egg motherfuckers.

00:31:06.000 Look at this motherfucker.

00:31:07.000 What are you, coming inside of women, you fucking loser?

00:31:10.000 What are you doing, trying to make more people like yourself, you fucking idiot?

00:31:14.000 Fucking loser.

00:31:15.000 There should be a word.

00:31:16.000 Yeah.

00:31:18.000 How about that thing that I put on my Instagram yesterday?

00:31:20.000 That you shouldn't say pregnant woman.

00:31:23.000 You shouldn't assume the gender of someone who's pregnant.

00:31:26.000 You were supposed to say pregnant someone?

00:31:29.000 People were like, that's a troll, right?

00:31:31.000 That's the onion.

00:31:32.000 No, no, no, no, no, no.

00:31:33.000 We are in the fucking Twilight Zone right now.

00:31:36.000 Here it is.

00:31:37.000 People of all genders can become pregnant because people of all genders can have the reproductive organs to do so.

00:31:44.000 What in the holy fuck?

00:31:46.000 Instead of saying pregnant women, try using the phrase pregnant people.

00:31:51.000 Keep going down.

00:31:52.000 Because people of all genders can fall pregnant.

00:31:56.000 You can fall pregnant.

00:31:58.000 Not yet.

00:31:59.000 Who the fuck falls pregnant?

00:32:01.000 I fell pregnant, Joe.

00:32:02.000 I've fallen pregnant because of you.

00:32:04.000 Well, people of all genders can fall pregnant.

00:32:06.000 Can you call in if you're a man?

00:32:07.000 Can you call in work and say, hey, I'm not going to be in today because I fell pregnant?

00:32:12.000 They do give maternity leave for guys, yeah.

00:32:16.000 Oh, good.

00:32:17.000 I identify as pregnant.

00:32:19.000 I've just fallen pregnant.

00:32:20.000 I need to not come into work.

00:32:21.000 Yeah.

00:32:22.000 How does that work?

00:32:23.000 See, this is why this is a propaganda bullshit lie of getting us all on the same page of...

00:32:30.000 Not all genders can have reproductive organs.

00:32:34.000 That's not true.

00:32:35.000 Women can have reproductive organs.

00:32:36.000 This is really simple.

00:32:38.000 You can't fabricate them.

00:32:39.000 It is too easy to survive.

00:32:42.000 So people are coming up with all sorts of different kinds of conflicts that are not real.

00:32:47.000 I guarantee you, all those people that are doing this, they're not working out three hours a day.

00:32:52.000 Fuck no.

00:32:52.000 Because they did.

00:32:53.000 They wouldn't be paying any attention to this shit.

00:32:55.000 Yeah, it's nonsense.

00:32:55.000 They'd be like, this is nonsense.

00:32:57.000 Instead of saying women are pregnant, say, instead of saying pregnant women, try using the phrase pregnant people.

00:33:04.000 Oh, well, they corrected themselves.

00:33:05.000 The post should say become pregnant instead of fall pregnant.

00:33:07.000 Thank you to our followers who pointed this out.

00:33:09.000 Oh, fuck you.

00:33:09.000 You wrote that yourself.

00:33:11.000 The language you use affects the people around you.

00:33:15.000 People of all genders can become pregnant because people of all genders can have the reproductive organs to do so.

00:33:21.000 When talking about pregnancy, try to use the language that is inclusive of people of all genders.

00:33:27.000 Well, there's 78 different genders now.

00:33:29.000 79, Joe.

00:33:30.000 Don't be so fucking ignorant.

00:33:32.000 God damn it, dude.

00:33:33.000 I hate when I do that.

00:33:34.000 I hate when I misgender.

00:33:36.000 This kind of bullshit is due to boredom.

00:33:38.000 This is complete boredom.

00:33:40.000 Well, it's also weak pussies.

00:33:42.000 These people that are doing this, I guarantee you, if this is where you're looking for conflict, your fucking whole life is falling apart.

00:33:50.000 You're a mess.

00:33:52.000 This idea that you're proposing that people of all...

00:33:56.000 First of all, it's insulting to women.

00:33:58.000 It should be deeply insulting.

00:34:00.000 Yeah, no shit.

00:34:00.000 That people of all genders can be pregnant.

00:34:02.000 The fuck they can.

00:34:04.000 Yeah.

00:34:04.000 You know how goddamn difficult it is for a woman?

00:34:07.000 Your wife hasn't been pregnant yet, but let me tell you something, man.

00:34:10.000 I've seen a lot of women pregnant.

00:34:12.000 It's rough!

00:34:13.000 It's insane.

00:34:14.000 It's hard!

00:34:15.000 Yeah.

00:34:15.000 Women get pregnant, and it's hard for them.

00:34:18.000 Yep, that's who gets pregnant.

00:34:19.000 It's fucking difficult.

00:34:21.000 Their whole body goes through these crazy hormonal changes.

00:34:24.000 They gain a shit ton of weight.

00:34:25.000 They get insecure.

00:34:26.000 They have crazy mood swings.

00:34:27.000 You have chemicals in their brain changes.

00:34:29.000 They're subject to postpartum depression where they get suicidal.

00:34:32.000 It happens in a lot of women.

00:34:33.000 The idea that all genders...

00:34:35.000 All genders...

00:34:36.000 No.

00:34:36.000 Bullshit!

00:34:37.000 Bullshit.

00:34:38.000 Lies!

00:34:38.000 Biology, motherfucker!

00:34:39.000 You fucking liars!

00:34:41.000 Science!

00:34:41.000 There's only one gender that can become pregnant and it's a woman.

00:34:45.000 Yes, that's it.

00:34:46.000 That's a woman and that's the end of the discussion.

00:34:47.000 It's not an argument.

00:34:49.000 There's this new way of talking about things that's filled with nonsense.

00:34:55.000 This is where the fascism lies.

00:34:57.000 They want you to adhere to their rules.

00:35:01.000 Yeah, 100%.

00:35:02.000 And if you don't, you're a piece of shit.

00:35:05.000 They shame you.

00:35:06.000 They try to go after you.

00:35:07.000 Fucking asshole.

00:35:08.000 But what they are saying is literally against science.

00:35:12.000 It's not scientific.

00:35:13.000 It's not true.

00:35:14.000 Now, if you want to tell me that some people like to identify as a woman and you should talk to them as a woman and give them a woman's name, sure.

00:35:22.000 Totally.

00:35:22.000 I don't care that you think you.

00:35:23.000 No problem.

00:35:24.000 Listen, that's my whole thing.

00:35:26.000 If you say to me, I'm not a man, I'm a woman, I'll go, good for you.

00:35:29.000 That's fine.

00:35:29.000 I don't have any problem with- I identify as a woman.

00:35:31.000 Great, fine.

00:35:32.000 I don't give a fuck what you- That's fine.

00:35:33.000 But you can't stand there and tell me that anybody other than a woman can get pregnant and have a child.

00:35:39.000 Now we're talking about fake semantics.

00:35:42.000 That's phony shit.

00:35:44.000 Exactly.

00:35:44.000 You've made that up.

00:35:44.000 It's also idiots.

00:35:47.000 It's all these weak people.

00:35:48.000 These weak-minded, the way I describe the lady who tried to bring a fucking emotional support squirrel.

00:35:54.000 On the airplane?

00:35:54.000 What airline was it, by the way?

00:35:56.000 Frontier.

00:35:57.000 Oh, I was hoping for Spirit.

00:35:58.000 What's going on here?

00:35:58.000 Kanye talks prison reform with Trump.

00:36:00.000 They had lunch.

00:36:01.000 Okay, play this.

00:36:02.000 I thought this was live.

00:36:03.000 Play this, please.

00:36:04.000 Let's hear some volume here.

00:36:05.000 And make more money.

00:36:06.000 That's one thing.

00:36:07.000 I've never stepped into a situation where I didn't make people more money.

00:36:11.000 So we can empower pharmaceuticals.

00:36:13.000 We can empower our industry.

00:36:14.000 Donald nodding!

00:36:15.000 Fuck yeah.

00:36:23.000 Wisconsin.

00:36:28.000 I love Wisconsin.

00:36:31.000 One of the things we gotta set is Ford to have the highest design.

00:36:35.000 The dopest cars.

00:36:36.000 The most amazing.

00:36:37.000 I don't really say dope.

00:36:38.000 I don't say negative words.

00:36:40.000 We just say positive, lovely, divine, universal words.

00:36:43.000 Okay, stop.

00:36:44.000 I'm getting stupid.

00:36:45.000 Just listen to this.

00:36:46.000 Listen, you dumb motherfucker.

00:36:47.000 Ford makes dope cars.

00:36:49.000 Why is he on this shit?

00:36:50.000 You ever see a goddamn Mustang GT350R? That's a dope car.

00:36:54.000 Jamie, post up a picture of a Mustang, Shelby Mustang GT350R. Quickly.

00:37:01.000 Quickly.

00:37:02.000 While the taste of that stupidity is still in my fucking brain.

00:37:06.000 Give me a photo.

00:37:07.000 The new...

00:37:09.000 Oh, God.

00:37:09.000 That's America right there.

00:37:11.000 You tell me that's not dope, you son of a bitch.

00:37:13.000 Jesus.

00:37:15.000 There it is.

00:37:15.000 Top left, top left.

00:37:16.000 The one there, right there.

00:37:17.000 Yeah!

00:37:18.000 That's bad as fuck.

00:37:19.000 Come on, son.

00:37:21.000 That's dope.

00:37:22.000 You know what I got?

00:37:22.000 I got to drive the Raptor, the F-150 Raptor.

00:37:25.000 That thing is fun as fuck.

00:37:26.000 How about drive the Ford GT? The one that John Cena's just sold for $1.3 million.

00:37:31.000 Pull up John Cena's Ford GT. You don't think that's dope?

00:37:35.000 Well, I'm not talking to you anymore because our fucking conversation's over.

00:37:39.000 Not with the doors up like an asshole at a fucking mall.

00:37:42.000 Not with the doors up.

00:37:42.000 Jamie!

00:37:43.000 That's what I'm looking at.

00:37:44.000 That's it.

00:37:44.000 Look how fucking dope that is.

00:37:45.000 Right there.

00:37:45.000 Go big.

00:37:48.000 If that's not dope, Kanye!

00:37:50.000 I don't know what's dope.

00:37:51.000 What are you going to teach the people at Ford how to design cars?

00:37:55.000 Shut the fuck up and make your shitty slides.

00:37:58.000 Positive words, divine.

00:37:59.000 Make your slides that are too short or these goddamn Yeezys that Jamie bought for me that I will never wear.

00:38:04.000 Or show Joe.

00:38:05.000 Joe's never seen that video with the little pump, right?

00:38:08.000 I don't know!

00:38:10.000 No!

00:38:10.000 Show him the picture of it.

00:38:11.000 I didn't bring it up.

00:38:12.000 No!

00:38:13.000 Show him the picture.

00:38:14.000 Jamie, show him the picture.

00:38:15.000 Were they wearing the big suits?

00:38:16.000 Yeah, I saw the box.

00:38:18.000 It's like they're wearing refrigerator boxes.

00:38:19.000 Okay, so I'm just saying, this guy's trying to tell us about being dope.

00:38:22.000 This is his music video.

00:38:24.000 Look at that fucking car.

00:38:26.000 You don't think that's dope?

00:38:27.000 That might be the dopest car the world has ever known, motherfucker.

00:38:31.000 It's slick as fuck.

00:38:31.000 Pull up black Ford GT with red stripes.

00:38:35.000 This might be the most beautiful car I've ever...

00:38:38.000 Okay, let me rephrase this.

00:38:40.000 Most beautiful modern car I've ever seen.

00:38:43.000 Yeah, it's a sexy fucking car.

00:38:44.000 Who's that, Jay?

00:38:45.000 Look at that fucking thing, man.

00:38:47.000 Look at that thing.

00:38:49.000 Good googly.

00:38:51.000 What a beast of a fucking automobile, Kanye.

00:38:54.000 That is fucking cold as ice.

00:38:56.000 I think he was just saying to make them here.

00:38:57.000 Shut up.

00:38:59.000 Jamie, goddammit.

00:39:00.000 You shut the fuck up.

00:39:02.000 You shut the fuck up.

00:39:06.000 It's all so stupid.

00:39:07.000 It's so stupid.

00:39:08.000 Why is he listening to Kanye West?

00:39:10.000 Give him a spelling bee first.

00:39:12.000 Give him a spelling bee and then say, listen, if you can get...

00:39:17.000 10 out of 20 words correctly, without using the red squiggly line on your phone.

00:39:25.000 The fact that Donald's nodding at him is just like, I know, I know, Wisconsin.

00:39:30.000 He's sitting there going, Freud should be doper.

00:39:33.000 He's probably sitting there going, how the fuck did I get to this position where I'm in the Oval Office listening to a guy?

00:39:38.000 Because he wanted to see Kim Kardashian so mad he was like, I'll let this motherfucker come back.

00:39:42.000 Look at his face!

00:39:43.000 Look at Donald's face!

00:39:46.000 Yes.

00:39:46.000 Imagine these photographers have like, man, they've been in such important rooms, and they're like, now I'm here.

00:39:52.000 But see, the Kanye thing is like, they just let him rant about shit.

00:39:55.000 And no one goes, wait, what?

00:39:57.000 He needs to take his fucking meds.

00:39:59.000 He's not taking his fucking meds.

00:40:01.000 He even said that he stopped taking meds, right, Jamie?

00:40:03.000 Isn't that the whole thing?

00:40:03.000 It's like, yeah, take your fucking meds, bro.

00:40:05.000 Level out.

00:40:05.000 Well, the meds made him gain a ton of weight, and he looked really fucking spaced out.

00:40:10.000 Did you ever see Fat Kanye?

00:40:11.000 Yeah.

00:40:11.000 He's a poll picker of Fat Kanye with the meds.

00:40:14.000 So what happened was, after he gave his support for Donald Trump, he said, I didn't vote, but if I voted, I would have voted on Trump.

00:40:22.000 Look how big he got.

00:40:24.000 They loaded him up with pills, and when they loaded him up with pills, he vanished for a while, canceled his tour.

00:40:31.000 He was, like, having a fucking serious nervous breakdown, and he got big fat.

00:40:36.000 That's when he was on the pills.

00:40:38.000 Oh, yeah.

00:40:39.000 Yeah, but I bet you he was mentally fucking stable.

00:40:41.000 I'd rather be fat and stable.

00:40:43.000 This is what I think, because of Sober October.

00:40:45.000 I think he just needs to work out.

00:40:47.000 See, I was just going to say, I don't think that's a part of his lifestyle.

00:40:51.000 I think his lifestyle is so...

00:40:52.000 Well, that's not true, because one of my friends was his trainer.

00:40:55.000 So he does work out.

00:40:56.000 He had a trainer for a while.

00:40:57.000 See, I feel like he doesn't...

00:40:58.000 He seems like a guy that just doesn't have the...

00:41:01.000 He had a trainer.

00:41:02.000 Yeah?

00:41:02.000 Trust me.

00:41:03.000 Yeah.

00:41:04.000 That's when he lost weight after all this bullshit.

00:41:05.000 It was a long time ago.

00:41:06.000 He had a trainer...

00:41:09.000 I want to say my friend was doing it like six or seven years ago.

00:41:14.000 Yeah, well, you know, I don't want to disclose any trainer-client confidential shit, but he was working out.

00:41:20.000 He was working out.

00:41:21.000 But the point is, look, the guy's fucking obviously a little loony, but that's also why he's so fucking creative.

00:41:28.000 Fuck yeah.

00:41:29.000 I mean, that's why his music's so good.

00:41:31.000 I mean, I don't think you have to be completely normal.

00:41:34.000 Look, most of my best friends are out of their fucking minds.

00:41:38.000 You're not fucking normal.

00:41:39.000 I'm not normal.

00:41:40.000 I've got real problems.

00:41:41.000 Yeah, we all do.

00:41:42.000 Well, we all do.

00:41:42.000 Anybody that's good at something does.

00:41:43.000 But I also have a lot of self-examination, and that's what he's lacking.

00:41:47.000 Yeah, self-awareness.

00:41:48.000 Yes.

00:41:49.000 I examine the things that I think and say and how I interact with people, and I don't always get it right.

00:41:55.000 But when I see him doing that, holding court in front of the President of the United States with a MAGA hat on, like in front of all these fucking people taking pictures of him, I'm like, this is preposterous.

00:42:04.000 Yeah, it's crazy.

00:42:05.000 I don't use words like dope because I try to use only positive like lovely.

00:42:09.000 Dope is positive!

00:42:10.000 Divine.

00:42:11.000 It's dope.

00:42:11.000 Like you sent me a text and I sent you a text.

00:42:13.000 Let's do 10 a.m.

00:42:14.000 Dope.

00:42:15.000 Dope.

00:42:15.000 Great.

00:42:15.000 Perfect.

00:42:16.000 Plus.

00:42:16.000 Great.

00:42:17.000 Love it.

00:42:18.000 It's not negative.

00:42:19.000 Next time you text me, I'm going to go divine.

00:42:21.000 Yeah, when I saw your car, I was like, dude, that's a dope car.

00:42:24.000 It's divine, Joe.

00:42:25.000 Oh, it's lovely.

00:42:26.000 It's lovely.

00:42:26.000 It's positive, don't you?

00:42:28.000 It's wonderful.

00:42:29.000 I've said wonderful a few times in all earnesty, and I always feel like an asshole.

00:42:32.000 Wonderful.

00:42:32.000 Well, you sound like a bitch a little bit.

00:42:34.000 A little bit.

00:42:34.000 Hey, how was that thing you did yesterday?

00:42:37.000 It was wonderful.

00:42:38.000 Oh, okay.

00:42:38.000 It was wonderful.

00:42:39.000 Would you swallow cocks all the time?

00:42:41.000 It's one of those words that you use when you're hanging around with actors.

00:42:45.000 Oh my god, wonderful.

00:42:47.000 It was a wonderful performance.

00:42:48.000 Especially when you're talking about a woman.

00:42:50.000 She was exquisite.

00:42:51.000 Wonderful.

00:42:52.000 Her performance was so wonderful.

00:42:54.000 You know the word that I hate?

00:42:55.000 I'm a big supporter of women.

00:42:57.000 I hate brilliant.

00:42:58.000 In the actor community, people say brilliant.

00:42:59.000 It bothers me so much.

00:43:00.000 When they go, oh my god, just brilliant.

00:43:03.000 Unless it's brilliant.

00:43:04.000 Yeah, but the rarity of that word, it should be used so less.

00:43:09.000 But you go see Roger Waters at the Hollywood Bowl and you're like, fuck, it was brilliant.

00:43:13.000 Big difference.

00:43:14.000 Of course.

00:43:15.000 That is brilliant.

00:43:17.000 But that's decades of hard work and talent and so many things coming together to make...

00:43:22.000 I watched him do The Wall here, what, three years ago at Staples Center?

00:43:26.000 And I was...

00:43:28.000 Sober-ish.

00:43:29.000 Let's just say that.

00:43:30.000 I was sober-ish.

00:43:31.000 I was micro-dosing and I was sober-ish.

00:43:34.000 Yeah, it was ish.

00:43:35.000 I wasn't like lit up, but I was like in a good space.

00:43:37.000 It was maybe one of the most incredible visual things, visual concerts I've ever seen in my fucking life.

00:43:43.000 To watch them.

00:43:44.000 You ever seen that?

00:43:44.000 They build the wall on stage as he's performing and they tear it down in the middle of it all.

00:43:50.000 It was visually one of the most stunning concerts I've ever been a part of.

00:43:54.000 To watch them make...

00:43:55.000 It's not just a band playing.

00:43:57.000 It was them making visual art while he was telling this story through music.

00:44:02.000 And I was like, this is why I'll pay hundreds of dollars to watch somebody.

00:44:06.000 Not just to hear fucking Tom Petty wail out.

00:44:10.000 Those tickets are the same amount of money, but you don't get the show.

00:44:13.000 With Waters, you get this fucking visual experience.

00:44:17.000 He's incredible, man.

00:44:19.000 Yeah, he's got a lot of crazy anti-Trump shit at his concerts too, right?

00:44:23.000 With pig heads and shit.

00:44:24.000 Yeah, a lot of government shit.

00:44:26.000 Yeah, he gets into a lot of that bullshit.

00:44:27.000 But I mean, it's visually stunning as fuck.

00:44:29.000 Do you think he's nuts?

00:44:30.000 Yeah, beautifully nuts.

00:44:31.000 Right, because he's so...

00:44:32.000 That's what I was saying.

00:44:34.000 He's so good.

00:44:35.000 He's beautifully insane.

00:44:36.000 He has to be crazy.

00:44:36.000 Yes.

00:44:36.000 Like, look at all these airplanes flying overhead and all this...

00:44:39.000 Yeah, they float big pigs over you that drop propaganda notes and shit.

00:44:44.000 It's dope as fuck.

00:44:45.000 Dope.

00:44:46.000 It's dope.

00:44:47.000 It is dope.

00:44:48.000 It's fucking incredible.

00:44:49.000 Yeah.

00:44:50.000 But I mean, that's what I'm saying.

00:44:51.000 Visually, it's fucking just unbelievably beautiful, man.

00:44:54.000 So is the...

00:44:55.000 Jamie, you're a part of black Twitter.

00:44:57.000 Is the black community abandoning Kanye and there are only white people accepting him now?

00:45:02.000 That's...

00:45:02.000 Jamie, you're black.

00:45:03.000 So I see a lot of the alt-white people.

00:45:06.000 Excuse me, alt-right.

00:45:08.000 Can you say alt-white?

00:45:09.000 I don't think so.

00:45:10.000 What's alt-white?

00:45:11.000 Jamie's part of the alt-black community.

00:45:12.000 Let's make that.

00:45:12.000 Let's make alt-white.

00:45:13.000 Let's define it right now.

00:45:14.000 What's alt-white?

00:45:15.000 What would you call alt-white?

00:45:16.000 Alt-white would be not alt-right yet.

00:45:22.000 They're not there yet.

00:45:24.000 Alt-white is alt- The batter's box?

00:45:25.000 Yeah, they're like on their way.

00:45:27.000 They're next up.

00:45:31.000 What's alt-white?

00:45:32.000 What would you call alt-white?

00:45:33.000 Give me an example of a person who's alt-white.

00:45:38.000 Who's a good alt-whiter?

00:45:39.000 Here's one.

00:45:40.000 Here's one.

00:45:41.000 The fucking Dilbert guy.

00:45:43.000 Scott Adams.

00:45:44.000 He's alt-white.

00:45:45.000 Who's that?

00:45:46.000 Because he's not alt-right, right?

00:45:47.000 He's a really brilliant guy, but he's like sort of...

00:45:51.000 Oh, the comic strip?

00:45:52.000 Seems like, yeah.

00:45:53.000 Seems like he had, and I like the guy a lot, but it seems like he had these ideas about Trump and now he's always just trying to defend them with some sort of circular logic and weird phrasing and Yeah.

00:46:03.000 He's a super smart guy, but he never says a single negative thing about Trump.

00:46:07.000 It's always, well, he's a brilliant negotiator, and what he's doing is strategy, and he's very persuasive, and I'm like, yeah, is he?

00:46:14.000 Is that what's going on?

00:46:15.000 Or is he just flying by the seat of his pants because he's a fucking maniac, and are you just trying to justify all the other shit that you've said about him that's really good?

00:46:24.000 That's what they do.

00:46:25.000 Because that's what it seems like to me.

00:46:27.000 And I like Scott Adams.

00:46:28.000 Yeah.

00:46:28.000 A lot.

00:46:29.000 I like him.

00:46:30.000 He's a very nice guy.

00:46:31.000 He's alt-white.

00:46:32.000 Alt-white.

00:46:32.000 They dance on this line of like...

00:46:34.000 Not offensive.

00:46:36.000 I'd have him over my house.

00:46:37.000 I'd have dinner with him.

00:46:39.000 Wonderful guy.

00:46:40.000 He's more into those positions than he wants to probably admit.

00:46:46.000 But from a surface level, he's like, no, you know, like...

00:46:49.000 What positions?

00:46:51.000 Doggy style?

00:46:52.000 Alt-right position.

00:46:53.000 No, no, no.

00:46:53.000 Mission.

00:46:54.000 How do you think alt-white people fuck?

00:46:56.000 They don't fuck.

00:46:57.000 They stand up in the shower.

00:46:59.000 They do this the whole time they fuck.

00:47:03.000 If you do that, if you fuck with one hand up like Hitler, but that hand is touching the glass in the shower, is that racist?

00:47:11.000 That's alt-white fucking.

00:47:12.000 This is alt-white fucking.

00:47:18.000 I think there's a lot of alt-whites out there.

00:47:21.000 Let's figure out who is alt-white.

00:47:23.000 What do you call alt-white?

00:47:24.000 Who's my best example of an alt-white person that I know?

00:47:26.000 Okay, like one of them hot broads that's always talking about white people issues.

00:47:31.000 Is Tommy Lahren alt-alt-white?

00:47:33.000 Yeah, she's alt-white.

00:47:34.000 Yeah, alt-white.

00:47:35.000 Not alt-right, but alt-white.

00:47:36.000 Because you know what's so clever about that fucking chick?

00:47:39.000 What?

00:47:39.000 She did an interview with that Trevor Noah kid on...

00:47:43.000 What?

00:47:43.000 The Daily Show?

00:47:44.000 And then afterwards they hung out, and the paparazzi, I picture them smiling and hugging and all shit, you know, in the streets, because Hollywood is fake as fuck.

00:47:50.000 Like, she does this game, but it's like, she's not fucking racist.

00:47:53.000 She doesn't hate people of color.

00:47:55.000 She likes to take these- She's provocative.

00:47:56.000 She's provocative.

00:47:57.000 She likes to take conservative stances.

00:47:59.000 Well, that's what they say about Ann Coulter, that if you talk to Ann Coulter, she's actually a lovely person.

00:48:03.000 Of course.

00:48:03.000 Well, look at it like this.

00:48:05.000 There's a map.

00:48:05.000 You can bring it up.

00:48:06.000 Jamie, bring it up.

00:48:08.000 There's a map of categorical porn percentages in the United States, and the highest percentage of white and black porn is in the South, is in like the Bible Belt.

00:48:17.000 I used to have a bit about it.

00:48:18.000 You did?

00:48:18.000 But I had to stop doing it because I dropped the N-bomb a bunch of times in the bit.

00:48:23.000 It was just...

00:48:24.000 I can see how that didn't go over as well, though.

00:48:27.000 It worked.

00:48:28.000 Or it didn't.

00:48:28.000 Either it crushed, or it was dangerous.

00:48:32.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:48:34.000 Or after the show, Joe had to sneak out fast.

00:48:36.000 No, it was like in the Bible Belt, there is a chunk of the highest amount of black dudes fucking white, like black on white porn, is in the most conservative parts of the country.

00:48:45.000 Well, my take on it was that it wasn't black guys that were watching this.

00:48:49.000 Of course not!

00:48:50.000 No, it's fucking white dudes that wish they're right.

00:48:52.000 Yeah, fucking black.

00:48:53.000 I don't want some big black dick in my wife.

00:48:55.000 Don't you put it in her ass.

00:48:57.000 Don't you do it.

00:48:58.000 Thin skin, veiny black penis and my wife, that chocolate fucking stick.

00:49:02.000 Sleppery, dark, cocoa snake.

00:49:04.000 Thick, pocky stick and my wife.

00:49:08.000 That's all it is.

00:49:09.000 It's all this fucking racial suppression.

00:49:12.000 Those people that play the game, that's alt-white.

00:49:16.000 That's alt-white.

00:49:17.000 They're not all the way, but there you go.

00:49:19.000 Look at that.

00:49:19.000 Most searched for terms in the United States.

00:49:21.000 Lesbian.

00:49:22.000 Texas is all lesbian.

00:49:24.000 California.

00:49:24.000 We're all lesbian.

00:49:25.000 That's hilarious!

00:49:27.000 Step-sister?

00:49:28.000 Hold on a second.

00:49:28.000 Stop!

00:49:29.000 Look at this!

00:49:32.000 Scan back in again so I can see the actual title of this.

00:49:34.000 The most searched for terms in the United States.

00:49:37.000 And this is according to Pornhub, huh?

00:49:39.000 Montana and Colorado.

00:49:41.000 What is up on top?

00:49:43.000 Is that Michigan?

00:49:44.000 What are those states?

00:49:46.000 Stepsister is Minnesota, right?

00:49:48.000 That's Minnesota.

00:49:49.000 What is the other two that are together?

00:49:50.000 That's North and South Dakota.

00:49:52.000 Is that what it is?

00:49:53.000 Isn't that Wyoming?

00:49:55.000 No, no, no.

00:49:55.000 Which one's Wyoming?

00:49:56.000 Guys, that's Wyoming and Montana.

00:49:58.000 Wyoming's the square?

00:49:59.000 Yeah.

00:49:59.000 Is Wyoming the only one that's perfect?

00:50:01.000 There's two states that are perfectly square.

00:50:02.000 How'd they pull that off?

00:50:04.000 Colorado.

00:50:04.000 Colorado's perfectly square, and so is Wyoming?

00:50:07.000 Yeah.

00:50:07.000 That's amazing.

00:50:09.000 Yeah, New Mexico almost had it.

00:50:11.000 That's crazy.

00:50:12.000 Like, how jealous must, like, Massachusetts be with this goofy-ass shape?

00:50:16.000 Fuck them.

00:50:16.000 Fuck everybody.

00:50:17.000 Fuck all that Rhode Island and shit.

00:50:19.000 How about Florida?

00:50:20.000 Florida's built like a dick, and they gotta look at Colorado and go, Colorado's like a perfect square.

00:50:24.000 Florida's the dingleberry of the United States.

00:50:26.000 And Texas is just chaos.

00:50:28.000 Yeah.

00:50:28.000 Texas is just, we are whatever the fuck we are.

00:50:31.000 Yeah!

00:50:32.000 It's a boot.

00:50:33.000 We're a boot.

00:50:33.000 We're whatever the fuck we want to be.

00:50:35.000 So Louisiana is...

00:50:37.000 Okay, so...

00:50:38.000 I like one state.

00:50:40.000 It's black.

00:50:40.000 Yeah, where...

00:50:41.000 What state's that?

00:50:42.000 Ebony.

00:50:43.000 What is it?

00:50:43.000 Louisiana.

00:50:44.000 Louisiana, black.

00:50:46.000 Alaska, stepmom.

00:50:47.000 Georgia's black.

00:50:48.000 Hawaii, Asian.

00:50:49.000 This isn't the map that I was thinking of, though.

00:50:51.000 There is another one where it was like...

00:50:53.000 That it said black on white porn.

00:50:55.000 How recent is this?

00:50:56.000 Look at Rhode Island.

00:50:56.000 Don't go away.

00:50:57.000 Go back.

00:50:58.000 What are you doing?

00:50:59.000 Googling for yourself, motherfucker?

00:51:01.000 Stop!

00:51:02.000 Look at MILF. Where's MILF? One state, like Rhode Island.

00:51:06.000 Oh, it is Rhode Island.

00:51:07.000 Scroll back there.

00:51:08.000 Keep it right there.

00:51:09.000 Don't move.

00:51:10.000 Oh, that is Rhode Island.

00:51:11.000 Look at MILF. Stepsister is Maine.

00:51:13.000 Maine's got that stepsister shit.

00:51:15.000 Yeah.

00:51:15.000 Wait a minute.

00:51:17.000 New Hampshire's cartoon?

00:51:19.000 What the fuck?

00:51:20.000 There's three cartoon states.

00:51:23.000 Four?

00:51:24.000 Well, that's Arkansas and Tennessee are cartoon.

00:51:27.000 Oh, there are two.

00:51:27.000 Those are two states there.

00:51:28.000 That looks like one state.

00:51:30.000 But this also gives me a little bit of hope because, Joe, you've come from Massachusetts, was still lesbian, and now you're still lesbian.

00:51:37.000 I'm Chicago.

00:51:38.000 We were always lesbian.

00:51:39.000 I feel really good about my consistency of my pornography state category.

00:51:43.000 It's amazing how many are searching for lesbians more than anything.

00:51:46.000 And look at Alaska.

00:51:48.000 Stepmom.

00:51:49.000 She was babysitting me while my dad was moosefucking.

00:51:52.000 Hawaii, though.

00:51:52.000 Asian.

00:51:53.000 Yeah, we haven't talked about that.

00:51:54.000 Yeah, Asian.

00:51:55.000 Clearly.

00:51:55.000 How about Ebony?

00:51:56.000 It's only one state.

00:51:57.000 No, three states.

00:51:58.000 No, one, two, three.

00:51:59.000 Ebony.

00:51:59.000 I like that term, too.

00:52:00.000 Ebony.

00:52:01.000 Ebony.

00:52:02.000 Why does it say ebony want to say black?

00:52:04.000 That's funny.

00:52:05.000 People type in black, huh?

00:52:06.000 And they type in ebony.

00:52:07.000 Yeah, they only type in black in one state because they don't know what ebony means down there.

00:52:09.000 Okay, Joe.

00:52:10.000 This is proving what we're saying.

00:52:11.000 This is proving what we're saying.

00:52:13.000 You know who's searching for ebony in Georgia and in...

00:52:16.000 What is that?

00:52:18.000 Stop moving this.

00:52:19.000 Go.

00:52:19.000 Zoom in.

00:52:20.000 Zoom in.

00:52:21.000 This is a fundamental difference.

00:52:23.000 So ebony down there in Georgia and in, what is that, Mississippi?

00:52:30.000 Right?

00:52:31.000 Yeah?

00:52:31.000 The reason that those are ebony and Louisiana's black is because ebony is searched by black people.

00:52:36.000 Black is searched by white people.

00:52:37.000 Ooh.

00:52:38.000 That's for sure, 100%.

00:52:40.000 Oh, you're right, 100%.

00:52:41.000 That's categorically, ebony is a black person typing, black is a bunch of white dudes being like, give me a black porn.

00:52:46.000 Right.

00:52:46.000 Some chocolate, big old chocolate tits.

00:52:48.000 So what is that other ebony up top, Jamie?

00:52:50.000 What is the other ebony on the right-hand side?

00:52:52.000 What state is that?

00:52:53.000 Delaware.

00:52:54.000 Oh, Delaware.

00:52:55.000 I forgot Delaware's a state.

00:52:56.000 That's one of those states where you're like, that's a state?

00:52:59.000 How do we still...

00:53:00.000 They can't just get absorbed by another state?

00:53:02.000 What is surrounding Delaware?

00:53:04.000 What's next to Delaware?

00:53:05.000 Maryland.

00:53:05.000 Maryland, that's right, yeah.

00:53:06.000 I always fucking forget about Maryland.

00:53:07.000 Maryland's all about the lesbians.

00:53:09.000 So wait a minute, they're ebony, huh?

00:53:10.000 That's so strange.

00:53:11.000 Go back to the scroll.

00:53:13.000 Go back to the sides that it was before so we can read it all.

00:53:16.000 MILF is only one state.

00:53:17.000 That's weird.

00:53:18.000 That is Rhode Island, right?

00:53:20.000 Yeah.

00:53:21.000 That little tiny-ass, bitch-ass state?

00:53:22.000 Bitch-ass state.

00:53:23.000 How many Rhode Islands are in Texas?

00:53:25.000 Look at that.

00:53:25.000 There's dudes who own a Rhode Island in Texas.

00:53:28.000 In Texas.

00:53:28.000 They own multiple Rhode Islands.

00:53:29.000 100%.

00:53:30.000 Yeah, dude.

00:53:30.000 Yeah, 100%.

00:53:31.000 Do you know there's like 8,000 ranches or something like that in Texas?

00:53:35.000 8,000?

00:53:36.000 Yeah.

00:53:37.000 Thousands of ranches.

00:53:38.000 That's absurd.

00:53:39.000 Just giant fucking ranches.

00:53:41.000 There might be more, because I was watching this on a television show, and I think it was an older television show.

00:53:47.000 Number of ranches in Texas.

00:53:49.000 Oh, it's ranchers.

00:53:51.000 248,000 ranchers, ranches.

00:53:55.000 248,000 farms and ranches, covering 130 million acres.

00:54:01.000 248,000 farms and ranches.

00:54:04.000 I want...

00:54:04.000 Look at the commodities.

00:54:06.000 It's all cows, baby.

00:54:07.000 How do you define the difference between a farm and a ranch?

00:54:10.000 That's actually extremely interesting.

00:54:12.000 I've always thought them to be the same thing.

00:54:14.000 Isn't a ranch a farm?

00:54:15.000 I guess I don't know shit.

00:54:16.000 Go back up again, please.

00:54:18.000 Stop scrolling.

00:54:20.000 248,000 farms and ranches covering 130.2 million acres.

00:54:26.000 Texas is big as fuck.

00:54:28.000 Texas has more women and minority farm operators than any other state in the nation.

00:54:32.000 There you go, Texas.

00:54:33.000 Powerful Texas with diversity.

00:54:35.000 I love that.

00:54:36.000 Go down for one second real quick, just a little bit.

00:54:38.000 There's the thing that said, America's biggest ranch goes on sale for $725 million.

00:54:41.000 Whoa!

00:54:42.000 Click on that and see how many fucking...

00:54:45.000 What is that fucking place?

00:54:47.000 10,000 acres of land.

00:54:49.000 $525.

00:54:51.000 110,000 acres.

00:54:52.000 510,000 acres of land.

00:54:54.000 Oh, fuck me.

00:54:54.000 7,500 cows.

00:54:56.000 Look at the size of that fucking place.

00:55:00.000 510,000 acres.

00:55:02.000 This is the kind of money that makes fun of Jay-Z. You know, like in America, we're like, Jay-Z's rich.

00:55:06.000 These fucking people are rich.

00:55:07.000 This is wealth.

00:55:09.000 This is like pure wealth.

00:55:10.000 Scroll back up to that building.

00:55:11.000 Look at that old school stone building on the property.

00:55:14.000 I have a friend who was at a ranch in Texas, and they found petroglyphs in a cave.

00:55:21.000 What?

00:55:22.000 Yeah, petroglyphs.

00:55:23.000 Like, ancient Native American petroglyphs of an unknown origin.

00:55:27.000 They don't know who did it.

00:55:28.000 And I was like, well, don't they have historians come here and rope that off?

00:55:32.000 Like, they got a lot of it here.

00:55:33.000 It's all over the place.

00:55:34.000 They don't even pay attention to it.

00:55:35.000 I was like, what are you talking about?

00:55:36.000 Are you serious?

00:55:37.000 They just don't bother with it?

00:55:39.000 Ancient petroglyphs.

00:55:40.000 Click on that upper left-hand corner, the one you just had.

00:55:43.000 Is that New Mexico?

00:55:44.000 Yeah.

00:55:44.000 Yeah, they have them all over the Southwest.

00:55:46.000 I mean, it's all over.

00:55:47.000 Yeah, it's Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, everywhere.

00:55:49.000 But the thing is, no one's curating them.

00:55:51.000 No one's taking care of them.

00:55:52.000 They just exist on this ranch.

00:55:54.000 And the ranch was a hunting ranch.

00:55:56.000 That's fucking awesome.

00:55:58.000 And they took pictures of them.

00:55:59.000 Where is that, Jamie?

00:56:01.000 That's fucking amazing.

00:56:02.000 My friend Steve Rinella, whose new show, Meat Eater, is now only on Netflix.

00:56:07.000 It's a hunting show that's on Netflix.

00:56:10.000 An intelligent, really well-narrated hunting show that's done and produced by a brilliant guy, my friend Steve Rinella.

00:56:19.000 But he was in Guyana, which was where Jonestown was, where he fucking killed all those people with Jim Jones with Kool-Aid.

00:56:27.000 And they found these petroglyphs on a rock They were like, who made these?

00:56:33.000 Like, no one has any idea.

00:56:34.000 It's like right by this waterfall.

00:56:36.000 No one has any idea.

00:56:36.000 It's a fascinating series.

00:56:38.000 He's in Guyana, living with these indigenous people and fishing in these rivers for like three days.

00:56:46.000 They just live, and it's three episodes.

00:56:49.000 They camp out by this river.

00:56:52.000 And use these traditional methods of hunting that these people have used for thousands and thousands of years.

00:56:57.000 But now they're wearing Under Armour t-shirts and shit.

00:57:02.000 They're still barefoot.

00:57:03.000 It's so strange.

00:57:04.000 That's so weird, yeah.

00:57:04.000 It's like this weird merging.

00:57:06.000 Like Tom's shoes, but also...

00:57:07.000 They don't wear any shoes, man.

00:57:08.000 No, nothing.

00:57:09.000 No one wears shoes anywhere.

00:57:10.000 But they get all the old shirts and all that stuff.

00:57:11.000 They get clothes from Salvation Army.

00:57:12.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:57:13.000 That's wild.

00:57:13.000 So they're wearing this...

00:57:16.000 These things from Western civilization, and Steve's got these modern Hoyt bow, and they're bow fishing in the river for these things called a paku, which is this brilliant red fish, this beautiful red fish.

00:57:33.000 The whole scene is like so crazy.

00:57:35.000 It's like a combination of Western civilization, you know, because they've got like some Western stuff mixed in with this culture that really hasn't changed that much in thousands and thousands of years.

00:57:48.000 But then they find these petroglyphs that are by this waterfall and they don't know any...

00:57:53.000 He's like, where do you think these came from?

00:57:55.000 He's like, we don't know.

00:57:55.000 Nobody knows.

00:57:56.000 They call them like the ancients.

00:57:58.000 The ancients wrote it.

00:57:59.000 They don't even know who the fuck they are.

00:58:01.000 So it could be thousands and thousands of years old.

00:58:03.000 That's fucking amazing.

00:58:04.000 People drew these weird faces by this waterfall and no one's curating it.

00:58:10.000 It just is what it is.

00:58:11.000 It's like really priceless history.

00:58:13.000 It's just sitting there.

00:58:15.000 Also there where they hang out.

00:58:16.000 Yeah, just sitting there.

00:58:18.000 I mean, that's kind of like when I was in Italy.

00:58:20.000 It's kind of like...

00:58:21.000 Walking by these ancient structures, and you're like, that's just like a part of your fucking life.

00:58:26.000 That is also strange to me.

00:58:27.000 Dude, I was in, we showed some photos the other day.

00:58:29.000 It was in Rovello, and there was a church.

00:58:31.000 Oh, yeah, you were there right after me.

00:58:33.000 Yeah.

00:58:34.000 It was a church that was a thousand years old, that was on top of a church that was far older.

00:58:39.000 They don't even know how old that church was.

00:58:40.000 And there was a glass floor where you could look under the church and see the ancient church that's below it.

00:58:45.000 Oh.

00:58:47.000 I went to this fucking place.

00:58:48.000 Did you?

00:58:48.000 Yes, yes, you can look below.

00:58:49.000 Crazy.

00:58:50.000 Yes, yes, yes.

00:58:50.000 Dude, this is also...

00:58:51.000 We went to the catacombs.

00:58:53.000 Did you go to any of the catacombs?

00:58:54.000 No.

00:58:54.000 This shit is fucking...

00:58:56.000 I wish I could like...

00:58:56.000 They have catacombs in Italy, too?

00:58:58.000 Yeah, man.

00:58:58.000 I wish I could send this to you.

00:58:59.000 Is it like the ones in France where they have the skulls and all the shit?

00:59:01.000 Yeah, I'm gonna show you.

00:59:02.000 They have the same kind of thing?

00:59:02.000 I'm gonna show you right now.

00:59:03.000 This is fucking crazy.

00:59:04.000 So we went...

00:59:05.000 And also, online, by the way, when I looked up, like, how to get to them, a lot of the online posts were like, this isn't...

00:59:12.000 Whoa!

00:59:12.000 This isn't necessarily safe.

00:59:14.000 What the fuck?

00:59:15.000 Yeah, man.

00:59:15.000 Wait a minute, so this isn't safe?

00:59:17.000 Well, they were just saying, like, it...

00:59:18.000 Oh, dude!

00:59:20.000 Yeah, it's fucked.

00:59:21.000 What is this?

00:59:22.000 Describe what we're seeing here.

00:59:24.000 Are they standing up?

00:59:25.000 Yeah.

00:59:25.000 Yes.

00:59:25.000 So they have these skulls dressed in clothes.

00:59:28.000 What they do is they reconfigure the bones of what they think the human was, you know, what they look like, and they put them in cloth and stuff and stand them against the wall.

00:59:38.000 Whoa!

00:59:38.000 Go full screen with that.

00:59:39.000 Let me see these fucking catacombs on my fucking phone.

00:59:41.000 What a bizarre...

00:59:42.000 Look at that one with the flesh on them.

00:59:44.000 What's happening there?

00:59:45.000 The one where your cursor is, Jamie?

00:59:48.000 Does it have hair on his head?

00:59:51.000 Guy's dead as fuck.

00:59:52.000 He's got more hair than me.

00:59:53.000 See, they found a Buddha statue with a mummy in it.

00:59:56.000 No.

00:59:57.000 Oh, that's right.

00:59:58.000 Yeah, they found this statue and they did an x-ray of it and found that there was an actual skeleton underneath the statue.

01:00:06.000 Look at this.

01:00:07.000 The actual statue was a mummy.

01:00:08.000 So this is in Naples.

01:00:09.000 That's not new, I guess.

01:00:10.000 That's in fucking Naples.

01:00:12.000 Whoa.

01:00:13.000 Those are all skulls and bones.

01:00:15.000 Isn't that fucked?

01:00:16.000 What other cities do you- I heard Florence is amazing.

01:00:19.000 Florence is incredible.

01:00:20.000 Bologna is cool, too.

01:00:21.000 I like- I think southern-southern Italy is my favorite.

01:00:24.000 But this is- you see this shit, Jamie?

01:00:26.000 Southern Italy likes Sicily?

01:00:28.000 Well, I mean, Sicily is my fucking favorite.

01:00:30.000 That's my- absolutely- that's where my family's from.

01:00:31.000 They don't consider that Italy.

01:00:32.000 No, they're their own place.

01:00:33.000 But I mean- Isn't that weird?

01:00:33.000 I mean southern Italy like- places like Naples and stuff like that.

01:00:36.000 Do they look down on you because you have red hair when you go to Sicily?

01:00:39.000 They spit on me right away.

01:00:40.000 No, you know what's annoying is Santino.

01:00:42.000 My last name is Santino because my family is from Sicily.

01:00:45.000 And they immediately hear it.

01:00:47.000 They go, Santino, Santino.

01:00:49.000 And they think, I'm going to speak Italian.

01:00:50.000 And then when I don't, they're like annoyed.

01:00:52.000 Get mad at you.

01:00:53.000 Yeah, they're like, where?

01:00:54.000 No, no, no.

01:00:54.000 I went to somewhere better.

01:00:56.000 Where?

01:00:56.000 America.

01:00:58.000 English.

01:00:58.000 We made it out.

01:00:59.000 English.

01:01:00.000 I made it out.

01:01:00.000 Escape.

01:01:01.000 That's why I came back here and gave you money.

01:01:02.000 Money.

01:01:03.000 We also went to...

01:01:04.000 Whoa!

01:01:04.000 What the fuck is that?

01:01:06.000 A dude that hung himself for sure.

01:01:08.000 Ew!

01:01:08.000 That's a little kid.

01:01:10.000 A little dude.

01:01:11.000 Go to that...

01:01:12.000 This is all in Rome?

01:01:14.000 What is it?

01:01:15.000 Capuchin?

01:01:16.000 They're all over.

01:01:16.000 This is Palermo for this one.

01:01:18.000 Palermo, yeah.

01:01:19.000 That's in Sicily.

01:01:20.000 Oh, look at the face of this guy.

01:01:22.000 Look at the face of this guy who killed himself.

01:01:23.000 He's like, what do you want me to do?

01:01:26.000 What do you want from me?

01:01:27.000 We also went to Savoca.

01:01:28.000 Do you know what Savoca is?

01:01:30.000 No.

01:01:30.000 Where they shot the Godfather.

01:01:31.000 Look at this.

01:01:32.000 This is fucking incredible, dude.

01:01:33.000 We went to this town where they shot the Godfather in Savoca.

01:01:36.000 There must be just a bunch of assholes from New Jersey wandering around.

01:01:39.000 This is it!

01:01:40.000 This is right where De Niro comes down the road!

01:01:42.000 Where's Coleone?

01:01:43.000 Is Don Coleone here now?

01:01:45.000 Where do I get some gabagoo?

01:01:47.000 Margot, come get a picture of me in front of this fucking thing.

01:01:49.000 Come on, hurry up, you fat bitch.

01:01:51.000 Hey!

01:01:52.000 We're in the motherland!

01:01:54.000 Be fucking civil!

01:01:55.000 In the fucking motherland!

01:01:57.000 So what was this deal with the story of the Buddha?

01:02:00.000 Yeah, the Buddha.

01:02:01.000 It was in 2015. Oh, it's too long ago for us to talk about.

01:02:04.000 Pull it up.

01:02:06.000 Well, it wasn't like a new discovery.

01:02:08.000 Oh, yeah, but it's a thing.

01:02:12.000 Do they know why they did that?

01:02:14.000 So what did they do?

01:02:15.000 Did they put, like, plaster over it and create a...

01:02:19.000 I don't know if I'm gonna have any more of this 46, Joe, but it really is nice this early in the morning to have a little bit of it.

01:02:23.000 Have some more.

01:02:23.000 It's a little more ice in that thing over there.

01:02:25.000 I know, I might have another one.

01:02:26.000 One more glass.

01:02:27.000 Just one more, might as well.

01:02:28.000 One more glass to taunt me.

01:02:30.000 Come on.

01:02:30.000 To Sober October.

01:02:31.000 Come on.

01:02:32.000 I'm excited for it.

01:02:35.000 The science of the curious?

01:02:37.000 So look, they did an x-ray on this Buddha and they found out there's an actual skeleton inside of it.

01:02:41.000 Holy shit.

01:02:43.000 How weird.

01:02:44.000 How amazing.

01:02:46.000 It's not surprising that Southeast Asia is home to countless ancient Buddhist statues, but one of those statues contains a mummified monk.

01:02:53.000 That is certainly a surprise.

01:02:54.000 A mummified monk is exactly the researchers of the Netherlands.

01:02:57.000 Meander Medical Center found they placed a 1,000-year-old Chinese Buddhist statue inside of a CT scanner.

01:03:03.000 Wow.

01:03:05.000 It contains the body of a Buddhist master named...

01:03:10.000 Liukuan.

01:03:11.000 Liukuan.

01:03:12.000 Liukuan.

01:03:13.000 Liukuan.

01:03:14.000 Who may have practiced the tradition of self-mummification.

01:03:19.000 To reach his final resting place.

01:03:21.000 What?

01:03:21.000 He's like, fuck that, I'm wrapping myself out.

01:03:23.000 Yeah, this motherfucker just went hog.

01:03:26.000 Whole hog.

01:03:27.000 That's a really funny photo.

01:03:28.000 How strange.

01:03:29.000 Going in the machine.

01:03:30.000 So how do you think they turned him into that statue?

01:03:32.000 Like, what did they put over his...

01:03:34.000 So he probably wrapped himself, right?

01:03:37.000 And then they...

01:03:38.000 Oh, look, it says.

01:03:39.000 The organs had been removed and replaced with paper scraps that were printed with ancient Chinese characters.

01:03:45.000 What the fuck?

01:03:46.000 Whoa.

01:03:47.000 That's so dope.

01:03:48.000 That's like a horror movie.

01:03:51.000 Yeah, tune in, Stephen King.

01:03:53.000 Okay, if you were a monk that wanted to achieve enlightenment and be revered as a living Buddha, self-mummification was...

01:04:01.000 Your brutal option?

01:04:02.000 How is it brutal?

01:04:03.000 Brutal.

01:04:04.000 Monks in the spiritual path would starve themselves for almost a decade, subsisting on water, seeds, and nuts.

01:04:10.000 Then, they'd be sealed inside the statue and ingest roots, pine bark, and a toxic tree sap-based tea for another 1,000 days, eating and breathing through a small tube.

01:04:24.000 Eventually, death would come, and the monks, mummified in this manner, were said to have reached enlightenment.

01:04:35.000 What?

01:04:35.000 Talk somebody into that.

01:04:37.000 What the fuck, man?

01:04:38.000 Alright, check it out.

01:04:39.000 We're gonna put you in this fucking thing.

01:04:41.000 Bro.

01:04:41.000 You have to breathe through a tube, dude.

01:04:43.000 You can only drink this toxic tea that's gonna slowly kill you.

01:04:46.000 You wanna be a god?

01:04:47.000 You wanna see god, dude?

01:04:49.000 Do you wanna fucking see god?

01:04:50.000 For three years, you're gonna eat nothing but seeds.

01:04:53.000 And we're gonna wrap you, and you're gonna breathe through a fucking tube.

01:04:56.000 It's gonna be ultimate panic.

01:04:58.000 They'd starve themselves for almost a decade.

01:05:01.000 Where would they piss and shit while they're in here for a thousand days?

01:05:03.000 Inside the box.

01:05:04.000 Yeah, but come on.

01:05:05.000 They got a little poop hole.

01:05:07.000 It would come right out their mouth.

01:05:08.000 Because their poop hole would be plugged.

01:05:10.000 That's what mummifies you.

01:05:11.000 The shit mummifies you?

01:05:12.000 That's the glue?

01:05:13.000 They would stay in the statue and it would fill up slowly with shit.

01:05:18.000 And that's when they died.

01:05:20.000 That's it.

01:05:20.000 It took a thousand days to gargle on shit until you finally died.

01:05:24.000 You'd smell shit up to your nostrils.

01:05:26.000 You'd have shit right up to the lip of your nose.

01:05:29.000 This is an example of self-mummification.

01:05:32.000 The fact that his organs are removed and replaced with paper suggests that may not be true.

01:05:36.000 Alright, so all this...

01:05:37.000 Oh.

01:05:38.000 All this could be bullshit.

01:05:39.000 What?

01:05:40.000 This could be some dude just...

01:05:41.000 So they're just assholes.

01:05:42.000 This is an asshole article.

01:05:44.000 Toxic tea.

01:05:45.000 The toxic tea thing, I think, is fascinating.

01:05:47.000 That's just another mind-control way of them slowly killing out people.

01:05:50.000 Wow.

01:05:51.000 Toxic tea.

01:05:52.000 But someone must have probably done that.

01:05:54.000 Because, like, no matter what you do, there's always someone who's willing to go further.

01:05:59.000 100%.

01:05:59.000 You know, they do those ultra marathons, right, where they run like 200 miles.

01:06:05.000 They're trying to organize one.

01:06:06.000 Your boy Cameron Haynes runs 9 million miles a day.

01:06:09.000 Yeah, he runs a marathon a day.

01:06:10.000 He's a machine.

01:06:11.000 Crazy fuck.

01:06:12.000 So, you know what he was going to do while we were doing all this So Brock Tour fitness challenge?

01:06:17.000 He was going to try to get more fitness points than all of us combined.

01:06:21.000 Probably.

01:06:22.000 Probably not that hard, to be honest.

01:06:23.000 He can do it easy.

01:06:24.000 He can do it easy.

01:06:25.000 But what they're going to do now is a 500 mile race.

01:06:30.000 500 fucking miles.

01:06:31.000 500 miles.

01:06:33.000 He runs fast though.

01:06:34.000 It's all about time though.

01:06:35.000 He'd have to run for six hours a day.

01:06:38.000 Yeah dude, when you see...

01:06:39.000 No, no, no.

01:06:40.000 They're running 24-7.

01:06:42.000 No, he's saying to beat you guys.

01:06:44.000 It's only about minutes so he has to just...

01:06:47.000 But he runs three hours a day all the time.

01:06:48.000 If he's running marathons, he's not running more than three hour marathons a day.

01:06:51.000 I'd love to know.

01:06:52.000 So he's running three hours a day.

01:06:54.000 Do you know how fast he runs?

01:06:55.000 Eight or nine miles an hour?

01:06:56.000 Do you know what it is?

01:06:57.000 I tell you what.

01:06:58.000 I wonder if it's eight or nine.

01:06:58.000 When he ran his first 100, or no, when he ran his first 200, the Bigfoot 200, the last couple hours he was running a seven minute mile.

01:07:09.000 Do you know how insane that is?

01:07:11.000 Do you know how insane it is?

01:07:12.000 Is that 10 miles an hour?

01:07:14.000 Yeah, pretty much.

01:07:15.000 It's like nine and some change?

01:07:16.000 But just understand how insane it is to be running for two straight days.

01:07:22.000 Come on.

01:07:23.000 To run more than 170 miles, and then the last two plus hours, I think maybe even more.

01:07:31.000 He probably was like, it was actually five hours.

01:07:33.000 Yeah, you know how you staunch about it.

01:07:34.000 He's running seven-minute miles.

01:07:36.000 That's fucking insane.

01:07:37.000 That's bananas.

01:07:38.000 Yeah, no, that's insane.

01:07:39.000 That's literally bananas.

01:07:41.000 I run five miles a day, and mine are almost eight-minute miles.

01:07:46.000 Seven-minute miles is a good clip.

01:07:48.000 That's great.

01:07:49.000 Are you kidding me?

01:07:50.000 Anyone that runs over...

01:07:52.000 Anyone that's just a casual runner that runs over two or three miles, their goal usually is eight to nine-minute miles to keep good pace.

01:07:59.000 Seven-minute miles after you've already run hundreds of miles...

01:08:03.000 That's fucking insane!

01:08:04.000 But that was the point, is like, there's always someone who's willing to take things to another place.

01:08:09.000 And that's the thing with these Buddhist assholes.

01:08:11.000 They always wanted to push.

01:08:12.000 One guy's like, oh, you're just gonna live off seeds for a decade?

01:08:15.000 This is what I'm gonna do.

01:08:16.000 Toxic teeth.

01:08:17.000 I'm gonna live off seeds for a decade, then I'm gonna seal myself in a fucking statue, then I'm gonna drink poison pee, and then I'm gonna die choking a death on my own shit!

01:08:30.000 Why?

01:08:31.000 Because I want to be enlightened.

01:08:33.000 I want to get to the tip top of the enlightenment mountain.

01:08:36.000 I want to understand suffering at the deepest, most personal level.

01:08:38.000 I like that our Buddhists are like these Italian gangsters.

01:08:43.000 I want to understand suffering.

01:08:44.000 I want to know how to suffer.

01:08:46.000 Deepest level possible, the way you choke on your own shit.

01:08:49.000 I wanna choke on my own poop and my own self-wrapped sarcophagus, seed-eating, tube-breathing fucking mummy statue.

01:08:55.000 Well, one of the most iconic images from the Vietnam War was the self-immolation guy.

01:09:00.000 Oh shit, yeah.

01:09:01.000 You ever see the video of that?

01:09:02.000 Yeah, man.

01:09:03.000 Pull up the video of the guy, the Buddhist monk lighting himself on fire to protest the Vietnam War.

01:09:10.000 Such a sad image.

01:09:11.000 Well, the most fucked up thing about it is the guy didn't even move.

01:09:15.000 He's in the lotus position and he's completely engulfed in flames and he's just staying self-immolation.

01:09:24.000 That's a weird word, right?

01:09:25.000 Immolate to immolate.

01:09:28.000 So they pour the gasoline on him.

01:09:32.000 1963. So this was really the start of the war.

01:09:35.000 So the war went on for more than a decade afterwards, right?

01:09:37.000 Yeah, he was really early.

01:09:39.000 He's like, you know what?

01:09:40.000 Enough.

01:09:41.000 I'm going to put an end to this.

01:09:42.000 Imagine if they said to him beforehand, yo, dude, not only is this not going to work, but the war is going to go on for another 10 years.

01:09:48.000 Yeah, it's a bad idea.

01:09:49.000 Just stick around, and if you play your cards right, you can wind up inside a statue.

01:09:53.000 This is like World Stock before it was World Stock.

01:09:55.000 Jesus fucker.

01:09:57.000 This is so crazy.

01:09:59.000 Because the guy's just sitting there.

01:10:01.000 I mean, covered in flames, not moving a muscle.

01:10:06.000 It's such a bizarre scene.

01:10:08.000 Like, look at him here.

01:10:09.000 Yeah.

01:10:11.000 And at this point he realizes, oh shit, I'm dead.

01:10:13.000 And he just falls over.

01:10:17.000 What a crazy way to die.

01:10:22.000 And all the other dudes are just sitting around going, I didn't do that.

01:10:26.000 Yeah, they're all thinking about lunch.

01:10:27.000 He's like, what am I going to eat?

01:10:28.000 I'm fucking starving.

01:10:29.000 What do we have for lunch?

01:10:30.000 Rice?

01:10:31.000 What do we have for dinner?

01:10:32.000 Rice?

01:10:33.000 I'm hungry.

01:10:33.000 We're eating rice, bitch.

01:10:34.000 I think that's crazy.

01:10:35.000 What if the match didn't work the first few times?

01:10:38.000 You know, he was like...

01:10:39.000 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

01:10:41.000 Hold on.

01:10:42.000 Let's think about this.

01:10:44.000 Fuck, man.

01:10:45.000 I mean, that whole thing is just so...

01:10:47.000 That's just...

01:10:48.000 What is that?

01:10:49.000 What was that picture at the fucking end?

01:10:51.000 What is that?

01:10:52.000 What does it say?

01:10:53.000 Ten superpowers the monks have in real life?

01:10:57.000 No, they don't.

01:10:58.000 No?

01:11:00.000 Well, there are some monks that can do some pretty cool athletic shit because they don't get any pussy and they just eat nuts and do push-ups.

01:11:08.000 Push-ups, nuts, seeds.

01:11:11.000 But that was like a thing where people would go to train with the monks to learn kung fu.

01:11:16.000 Did they really have depravity of releasing?

01:11:19.000 They can't come?

01:11:20.000 Monks can't come?

01:11:21.000 That's a good question.

01:11:22.000 I wonder.

01:11:23.000 I wonder if they come in their pants accidentally, if they get mad.

01:11:25.000 Well, you have to, right?

01:11:25.000 You know that's...

01:11:26.000 Shit.

01:11:27.000 Biologically, it's a detriment.

01:11:28.000 If you don't ejaculate at some point in your life, you will just naturally leak.

01:11:31.000 This is what your teacher told you?

01:11:32.000 That's a fact.

01:11:33.000 Look that up.

01:11:34.000 That's a fucking fact.

01:11:35.000 You will leak.

01:11:36.000 Jamie, tell him.

01:11:37.000 Tell him about your leakage.

01:11:38.000 What about the tantra people?

01:11:40.000 Jamie nuts all the time.

01:11:42.000 He tells us about it.

01:11:42.000 He's a nut king.

01:11:43.000 He's a nutter.

01:11:47.000 Jamie, are you a nut king?

01:11:51.000 How much do you nut a week, if you had to guess?

01:11:54.000 How many times?

01:11:55.000 Oh, how many times?

01:11:56.000 I thought you were going to ask measurement.

01:11:57.000 I was like, two or three cups.

01:11:59.000 How many tablespoons?

01:12:01.000 And is it salty?

01:12:02.000 Four or five nuts a week.

01:12:03.000 Four or five nuts a week seems normal for seven days a week.

01:12:07.000 Yeah, maybe a little bit more.

01:12:08.000 Maybe...

01:12:08.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:12:09.000 You get really randy.

01:12:10.000 Sometimes it's seven nuts.

01:12:12.000 If you're lifting weights, maybe it's seven, right?

01:12:14.000 If I'm...

01:12:14.000 You know what's so funny?

01:12:15.000 I get way more horny after running.

01:12:19.000 Running?

01:12:19.000 Running gets me horny as shit when I'm done.

01:12:21.000 Because my body's kind of exhausted.

01:12:23.000 So usually I lift a little bit and then I run, or vice versa, or I'll run and then I'll lift to finish, but the running just like, I think it exhausts my body.

01:12:31.000 And then you just want to bang.

01:12:33.000 I just, yeah, I think my testosterone is just like, I want to fucking shoot this nut.

01:12:38.000 Don't the monks do like the tantric stuff where they can like do it without touching anyone kind of thing?

01:12:42.000 Yeah, I've heard that before.

01:12:44.000 That's like Sting.

01:12:44.000 Sting does that shit where he doesn't come, you know he edges and he doesn't come for like nine days.

01:12:49.000 It's called being a pervert.

01:12:50.000 Yeah, dude, it's so creepy.

01:12:51.000 Just stop thinking about that, fucking weirdo.

01:12:53.000 It's like people who are doing that, they're thinking about sex way more than the average person.

01:12:57.000 Yeah, just fuck.

01:12:58.000 I'm just gonna hold it in.

01:12:59.000 I'm gonna have internal orgasms.

01:13:02.000 I wanna have an external orgasm.

01:13:07.000 It's all flooding back into your system.

01:13:09.000 I hope that's the face.

01:13:10.000 I hope you go cross-eyed when you come.

01:13:12.000 Always.

01:13:12.000 I hope it's like...

01:13:13.000 I always make a fish mouth.

01:13:19.000 Can you imagine if a girl was perfect in every way, but when she comes, she would go...

01:13:32.000 Jell-O pudding.

01:13:34.000 Oh, this is great.

01:13:35.000 I had a girl that I dated.

01:13:37.000 Obviously, I won't mention who, but years and years and years ago, I dated a girl in college, and she was so beautiful.

01:13:43.000 But when she would come, it was so annoying.

01:13:46.000 It was so exaggerated that I remember catching myself in the mirror one time, giving myself this face.

01:13:53.000 As she was yelling, I was going...

01:13:56.000 I was rolling my fucking eyes to myself.

01:13:59.000 I was like, oh, shut the fuck up.

01:14:01.000 Yeah, but I was also like, my dick isn't fucking...

01:14:05.000 Let's not play the game.

01:14:07.000 It's not so big.

01:14:08.000 Just come on.

01:14:09.000 Do the regular fucking...

01:14:10.000 Don't give me this fake.

01:14:11.000 Do you think she was faking it?

01:14:12.000 I think she was hyperbolizing her orgasms.

01:14:15.000 I think she was doing that to please you.

01:14:17.000 Yes, I think she thought it was pleasing me.

01:14:19.000 It was doing the opposite.

01:14:20.000 It was making me go, oh my god.

01:14:21.000 Oh my god, fucking shut up.

01:14:22.000 Oh my god.

01:14:23.000 Just regular cum.

01:14:24.000 Are we fucking serious with this orgasm?

01:14:27.000 And I'm just...

01:14:28.000 And she starts punching you.

01:14:36.000 I just start crying.

01:14:39.000 She's coming.

01:14:39.000 I'm crying.

01:14:42.000 Yeah.

01:14:43.000 Yeah, you just hold yourself.

01:14:44.000 It was exaggerated.

01:14:45.000 I think that's what porno does.

01:14:47.000 Porno tricks people.

01:14:48.000 Because porn girl's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:14:50.000 It's like, no, no, no.

01:14:51.000 That's fucking insane.

01:14:52.000 Yeah, do you ever hear porn and then they do that and you just want to shut it off?

01:14:56.000 Yeah, well, turn off the volume.

01:14:57.000 I'm like, this is absurd.

01:14:59.000 Yeah, but then you're going to look at her face and know she's making stupid noises.

01:15:01.000 Yeah, because it's stuck.

01:15:02.000 And that's going to be distracting.

01:15:03.000 It's already in there.

01:15:04.000 You're like, I can't disassociate this.

01:15:06.000 Ow!

01:15:07.000 Ow!

01:15:08.000 Ow!

01:15:08.000 You know what always impresses me in porno?

01:15:10.000 Is when a girl is taking a fucking 12 inch dick and they're not being loud.

01:15:16.000 I'm always like, this girl's a fucking thug.

01:15:18.000 What a soldier.

01:15:19.000 That she's getting fucked and she's just like...

01:15:21.000 Yeah.

01:15:23.000 Like it's no big deal.

01:15:24.000 Yeah.

01:15:26.000 Just looking at it, you're like, there's no way that's not painful.

01:15:29.000 That's a good point about porn, though, right?

01:15:31.000 It's like people imitate behavior in films.

01:15:35.000 Like we were talking about all the guidos that imitate Godfather movies and the Sopranos.

01:15:39.000 They imitate it.

01:15:40.000 They see it.

01:15:41.000 They want to act like it.

01:15:42.000 It's exaggerated.

01:15:44.000 They emulate a lifestyle.

01:15:45.000 Yeah, and that's the same with porn when it comes to sex.

01:15:48.000 There's got to be a lot of people that are emulating the sounds and the noises and the postures and all that stuff.

01:15:55.000 100%.

01:15:55.000 Like, when do you think people started regularly cumming in people's faces?

01:16:00.000 What year?

01:16:01.000 Yeah, what year?

01:16:02.000 Who was the first pioneer in porno that did, like, a first cum shot?

01:16:06.000 But, like, in the 30s.

01:16:06.000 You think people nutted in people's faces in the 30s?

01:16:09.000 Fuck no.

01:16:09.000 They didn't ever pull their dicks out.

01:16:10.000 They didn't know you could pull out in the 30s.

01:16:12.000 They just came inside people?

01:16:13.000 Yeah, they just came inside everybody.

01:16:14.000 Everybody had a baby.

01:16:15.000 Well, yeah.

01:16:16.000 I mean, you think about it timeline-wise, like, fucking pregnancy.

01:16:18.000 Look at the baby boomer generation.

01:16:19.000 Not one person pulled out.

01:16:21.000 My mom's one of 10 kids.

01:16:23.000 Whoa.

01:16:24.000 Yeah, man.

01:16:24.000 Nobody born in the 50s was ever pulled out.

01:16:28.000 I mean, like everyone, that's just what you did.

01:16:30.000 And then disease in the 70s and 80s spawned this idea of condoms and protection.

01:16:38.000 And then people started learning, maybe we'll just not come inside of people.

01:16:41.000 Well, they say that one of the biggest changes in culture was female birth control because finally women had control of their own reproductive cycle.

01:16:49.000 Right.

01:16:50.000 But what comes with that is that they have to take hormones to achieve that.

01:16:55.000 Yeah, they're fucking up their chemical insides.

01:16:57.000 Dude, have you ever heard, like, what actually happens to women?

01:17:01.000 It doesn't just fuck up their chemical insides.

01:17:04.000 It fuck up their hormonal cycle.

01:17:05.000 Right.

01:17:06.000 But it also fucks up their ability to discern whether someone's compatible with them.

01:17:10.000 Seriously?

01:17:11.000 Yeah.

01:17:11.000 Like, it fucked up the science of their...

01:17:13.000 There's a thing that women get, like, there's a...

01:17:16.000 Chris Ryan was explaining this to me.

01:17:19.000 There's an actual smell.

01:17:21.000 Like, women can smell, like, when they're not on birth control.

01:17:26.000 Like, if they get guys clothes, and, like, they smell guys clothes, they can...

01:17:30.000 Literally, they're attracted to certain smells, and the men that smell this way would be more genetically compatible with them.

01:17:40.000 So there's a pheromone blocker with birth control then.

01:17:44.000 That's kind of what it is.

01:17:45.000 It confuses their system.

01:17:46.000 Also, women who are on birth control are much more attracted apparently to alpha male type characters and aggressive men.

01:17:56.000 Really?

01:17:57.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:17:57.000 There's something about birth control that makes them...

01:18:00.000 They're not sure why, right?

01:18:02.000 It heightens their attractiveness towards alpha males.

01:18:04.000 Yeah, they're more attracted to alpha males.

01:18:06.000 Well, that's not really a negative thing, I guess.

01:18:08.000 But they're more attracted to certain types of people, and you've got to think, like, what is that?

01:18:14.000 It's like...

01:18:16.000 I'm not a sociologist or a biologist.

01:18:20.000 I really wouldn't know what the fuck would be the cause of that.

01:18:22.000 But I would think that it would have something to do with their body wanting something different than the baby that they think is inside them.

01:18:29.000 Right.

01:18:29.000 Because they're supposed to be pregnant.

01:18:31.000 Yeah.

01:18:31.000 This is the whole reason why you can't get pregnant when you're on birth control.

01:18:34.000 It tricks you into thinking you're pregnant.

01:18:36.000 Yeah.

01:18:36.000 Right.

01:18:36.000 So you're walking around constantly in this state of pregnancy.

01:18:40.000 So, like, why would you be more attracted to alpha males or aggressive men?

01:18:45.000 God, look at my brain.

01:18:46.000 It's, like, hunting for why that would even make sense.

01:18:48.000 The only thing that would make sense is you want something even more aggressive.

01:18:52.000 More dominatory?

01:18:53.000 Even more better than what you've gotten.

01:18:55.000 Yeah.

01:18:55.000 Maybe more protective.

01:18:56.000 Maybe it's just, like, superb nature.

01:18:59.000 Like, all those nature characteristics of, like...

01:19:02.000 I'm pregnant.

01:19:03.000 I need ultimate protection.

01:19:04.000 I need ultimate aggression, ultimate strength.

01:19:07.000 These are just all natural.

01:19:09.000 By the way, all the fucking equality websites would probably light me up for that.

01:19:11.000 Oh, go crazy.

01:19:13.000 Well, I was reading this biologist's account of what's a...

01:19:16.000 There's a term called hypergamy.

01:19:19.000 That it's a natural state for women to be attracted and to seek out men with higher social status, higher financial status.

01:19:29.000 Hypergamy.

01:19:30.000 Pergamy.

01:19:30.000 Yeah, and better physical specimens.

01:19:32.000 That's this natural state where they're always looking for something bigger and better.

01:19:37.000 Right.

01:19:37.000 It's just a genetic state, and it's no one's fault.

01:19:41.000 I mean, and women obviously don't have to give in to this, but it's a natural inclination that they had.

01:19:47.000 Like, if the rock is there, right?

01:19:49.000 Here's a perfect example.

01:19:50.000 He's rich, and he's handsome, and he's friendly, and he's a giant man, and he's probably got a huge hog, and a woman is naturally attracted to go towards him.

01:20:00.000 So am I. Yeah.

01:20:01.000 You got a great bit about him.

01:20:02.000 I know.

01:20:03.000 You got a great bit about him.

01:20:04.000 But this state, it's called hypergamy.

01:20:08.000 Hypergamy.

01:20:08.000 Yeah.

01:20:09.000 What I was reading about was this woman who had this awful betrayal of this man, and the biologist was...

01:20:20.000 Relating it to the state of hypergamy.

01:20:22.000 They were doing it in a very scientific sort of technical way.

01:20:25.000 Instead of like saying, look at this slut, they were saying this is a natural state.

01:20:30.000 Totally.

01:20:31.000 Where women gravitate towards certain types of males.

01:20:36.000 Hypergamy.

01:20:36.000 But this is not discussed very often.

01:20:38.000 Right.

01:20:38.000 No, no, no.

01:20:39.000 Especially because now we're bending all these rules and names and terms and all this bullshit.

01:20:44.000 I think there's such an escapism from the true nature of men and women.

01:20:50.000 People don't want to talk about it anymore.

01:20:51.000 It doesn't exist.

01:20:52.000 It's a denial of biology.

01:20:53.000 It's so crazy to me.

01:20:55.000 Well, it's almost like this whole fucking Kavanaugh thing and all this shit, and I don't want to even get into all that fucking diatribe and nonsense, but...

01:21:01.000 The one thing I will say that I don't think anybody talks about is the sexual and social psychology of men and women.

01:21:08.000 Nobody wants to talk about when you are developing as a young teen, especially a boy, and you're learning about sexuality and you're confused and embarrassed and scared.

01:21:16.000 The way that men and women interact in those years from 12 to 16, it's insanely unstable.

01:21:24.000 Because women are not as...

01:21:27.000 Not as hormonally aggressive technically at that time than men are, right?

01:21:31.000 So these men are fucking hormonal freaks and they want to do things with these women but they're not supposed to kind of and it's like kind of okay and they don't know how to do it and they're these weird blurred lines of women want to be accepted and cool in their circle so you know it's like When someone hooks up with someone early on,

01:21:48.000 when two people hook up young, and it's like, ooh, and it's sketchy and weird.

01:21:51.000 Sometimes the girl gets labeled a slut.

01:21:53.000 You know what I mean?

01:21:54.000 For no reason.

01:21:55.000 It's like, oh, she's a slut.

01:21:56.000 Like, I remember there was a girl when we were, what, juniors, and she was dating a senior, and they had had sex.

01:22:03.000 Oh!

01:22:03.000 You're right.

01:22:04.000 And it was like, she's a slut.

01:22:05.000 It's like, she's not a slut.

01:22:06.000 Everybody wants to do this thing.

01:22:07.000 But there are these weird subset rules.

01:22:09.000 But every guy that does it, that's just what we want to do.

01:22:12.000 But I don't, there's no explanation over like how we got to the point of getting comfortable there because men are just these horny freaks that don't know what to do with the thing.

01:22:21.000 So there are so many blurred lines of sexuality in relationships at that age.

01:22:25.000 Nobody wants to talk about it.

01:22:27.000 Well, it's also the Puritan culture and religion, right?

01:22:29.000 There's two things that set women up in this terrible place where if they give in to their hormonal urges, they're somehow tainted.

01:22:36.000 Right.

01:22:37.000 You're bad.

01:22:37.000 You know, when I was in high school, everybody knew this, and I'm sure you knew this too.

01:22:40.000 Everybody knew Catholic school girls were the biggest fucking freaks.

01:22:44.000 First time I had anal.

01:22:45.000 Catholic school girls.

01:22:45.000 Holla!

01:22:47.000 First and second time.

01:22:49.000 Because they're suppressed.

01:22:51.000 Yes.

01:22:51.000 You're making diamonds, okay?

01:22:53.000 You're taking that carbon, you're putting it under a mountain, and a fucking diamond's gonna come out of it.

01:22:59.000 You know, I mean, it's Catholic school girls, right?

01:23:02.000 And it's all over the country.

01:23:03.000 Where'd you grow up?

01:23:03.000 Chicago.

01:23:04.000 Chicago, yeah.

01:23:04.000 Jamie.

01:23:05.000 Columbus.

01:23:05.000 Catholic school girls.

01:23:06.000 Oh, I went to Catholic school, so yeah.

01:23:08.000 Oh, talk to us.

01:23:09.000 Tell us.

01:23:11.000 Right?

01:23:11.000 Yeah, I mean, some of them...

01:23:12.000 Yeah, be nice.

01:23:14.000 They like what they wore underneath their jumpers.

01:23:17.000 Sometimes they had shorts on, sometimes they didn't.

01:23:19.000 Yeah, but there was a marked difference.

01:23:23.000 Suppression.

01:23:23.000 Right?

01:23:24.000 Between Catholic school girls and regular girls.

01:23:26.000 Yep.

01:23:26.000 Yeah, well, I mean, the public school girls around me is a whole different thing.

01:23:30.000 So most of them are private school girls where I was at.

01:23:32.000 The biggest freak that I dated during my high school years was a girl.

01:23:36.000 It was a wonderful girl.

01:23:37.000 But she went to an all-girl Catholic.

01:23:39.000 Of course.

01:23:39.000 She was suppressed completely.

01:23:41.000 Yeah.

01:23:41.000 So when you hold someone in a cage like that, what do you think is going to happen?

01:23:44.000 It's like, of course, when they get out, they're going to...

01:23:46.000 They get out like wild animals.

01:23:47.000 Yeah, they're going to want to go nuts.

01:23:48.000 This girl was nuts, man.

01:23:50.000 She was wild.

01:23:51.000 But that's what I'm saying.

01:23:53.000 No one wants to talk about, and again, I'm not trying to dive into that Kavanaugh bullshit, but people are young and they do fucking crazy shit when you are hormonally at your beginnings and you're confused and weird.

01:24:05.000 I mean, guys know, when guys start masturbating, it's this disgusting, weird, secret, creepy, gross, sad, undercover secret.

01:24:13.000 Yeah, you don't tell your friends when you're in high school.

01:24:15.000 Oh, you're so panicked.

01:24:16.000 You're beaten off.

01:24:17.000 And all of that is swirling inside your head over sexuality and then when you do get a chance with a girl, it's uncomfortable, it's awkward, it's weird.

01:24:23.000 Again, I'm not talking about whatever fucking he did.

01:24:25.000 I'm just saying you're already in this weird state of men are fucked up when they're sexually reaching this new peak of their life that they just want to like jerk off and come and fucking.

01:24:35.000 And how much information are they getting from their parents?

01:24:38.000 Zero.

01:24:39.000 Almost none.

01:24:40.000 Almost none.

01:24:40.000 That's the thing.

01:24:41.000 How much guidance are they getting?

01:24:42.000 So you don't know borders, you don't know rules, you don't understand.

01:24:45.000 And also, our society perpetuates, if you want to be real fucking honest, our society perpetuates this weird pull and push of like, you know, no, I don't want...

01:24:54.000 You know that fucking song, Baby, It's Cold Outside?

01:24:56.000 You know that song?

01:24:57.000 How's that go?

01:24:57.000 The Christmas song, Baby, just stay for an, uh, and really should go, it's cold outside.

01:25:02.000 It's a Christmas fucking song.

01:25:03.000 What?

01:25:03.000 What song is this?

01:25:04.000 You know what it is.

01:25:04.000 Jamie knows what the fuck I'm talking about.

01:25:05.000 Do I know this song?

01:25:05.000 Yeah, you do.

01:25:06.000 You sure?

01:25:07.000 It's a Christmas song, and it's called Baby It's Cold Outside.

01:25:09.000 Christmas song about rape?

01:25:11.000 100%.

01:25:11.000 It is.

01:25:12.000 Really?

01:25:12.000 I'm dead serious.

01:25:13.000 Here, he's playing it.

01:25:14.000 Can you play it on YouTube, or will we get in trouble?

01:25:16.000 I really can't stay.

01:25:17.000 Yeah, I can't really.

01:25:18.000 Is it an old?

01:25:19.000 I was trying to see if I could find her.

01:25:20.000 Oh, I do know this song.

01:25:22.000 I do know this song.

01:25:23.000 I really can't stay.

01:25:24.000 She's saying, I gotta go home.

01:25:26.000 My parents are gonna stay.

01:25:26.000 The whole time he's like, come on, just have one more drink.

01:25:29.000 Just stay out a little bit longer.

01:25:30.000 Oh, he's trying to fucking lube her up.

01:25:32.000 Yes.

01:25:32.000 And by the way, she ends up staying at the end because she wants to be with him.

01:25:36.000 The game.

01:25:37.000 Right.

01:25:37.000 So the thing that nobody wants to fucking talk about at all, and again, I'm not fucking saying anything other than this is a perpetuation of our culture for a long time of like this pull and take and tease.

01:25:47.000 A tease is a game that women play, and men play too, of like, you know, look at that, I really can't say it's cold outside.

01:25:53.000 Mm-hmm.

01:25:53.000 Gotta go away.

01:25:54.000 This evening has been so very nice.

01:25:57.000 My mother will start to worry.

01:25:58.000 My father will be pacing the floor.

01:25:59.000 I'd really better scurry.

01:26:02.000 Maybe just a half a drink more.

01:26:04.000 That's her finally admitting.

01:26:05.000 The neighbors might think, what?

01:26:08.000 Say what's in this drink!

01:26:10.000 Ah, you're very pushy, you know.

01:26:12.000 I like to think of it as opportunistic.

01:26:16.000 I simply must go.

01:26:17.000 The answer is no.

01:26:18.000 The welcome has been so nice and warm.

01:26:19.000 My sister will be suspicious.

01:26:20.000 My brother will be there at the door.

01:26:22.000 My maiden's aunt maid is vicious.

01:26:24.000 Well, maybe just a cigarette more.

01:26:25.000 So she's like, no, no, no, no, no.

01:26:27.000 Yeah.

01:26:28.000 No, no, no, no, no.

01:26:29.000 Yeah.

01:26:30.000 Oh, God.

01:26:32.000 Okay, fine.

01:26:32.000 Another drink then.

01:26:34.000 That took a lot of convincing.

01:26:36.000 Okay.

01:26:36.000 That's the last word?

01:26:37.000 That took a lot of convincing?

01:26:39.000 Yes.

01:26:40.000 How weird.

01:26:40.000 So what I'm saying is...

01:26:41.000 What year was that shit?

01:26:42.000 Oh my god, this has got to be the...

01:26:43.000 1900s?

01:26:44.000 40s?

01:26:45.000 40s maybe?

01:26:46.000 People just rape people.

01:26:47.000 For 50s.

01:26:47.000 52. Martin and 52. 52. No, but he wasn't the original.

01:26:50.000 My point is, this shit has been going on forever, and it's fucking real, and nobody wants to talk about it.

01:26:56.000 Okay, but that had nothing to do with the Kavanaugh thing, right?

01:26:57.000 And here's the thing about the Kavanaugh thing.

01:26:59.000 You know what I mean by that.

01:27:00.000 Oh, no, I do know.

01:27:00.000 But here's the thing.

01:27:01.000 But even the fact that you have to be defensive right there.

01:27:03.000 Everybody has to go, that's not what I'm saying.

01:27:05.000 That's not what I'm saying.

01:27:06.000 I'm not supporting rape.

01:27:08.000 Even discussing it at all, people are ready to fucking hit you in the head with a rock.

01:27:11.000 Of course.

01:27:12.000 There's no conversation to be had.

01:27:13.000 There's a woman who had a brutal take on it.

01:27:16.000 A brutal...

01:27:17.000 There's two ways we can look at this.

01:27:19.000 There's a woman who had a really brutal take on this.

01:27:22.000 That was on Jordan Peterson's Twitter page.

01:27:25.000 If you go to Jordan Peterson's Twitter page, there's a woman who is...

01:27:30.000 I don't know what she does, but she talks about how this woman who is accusing...

01:27:36.000 Brett Kavanaugh teaches at this predominantly women's college where 79% of the students are women.

01:27:45.000 The vast majority of the professors are women.

01:27:48.000 And social justice is the number one thing that they promote at the school.

01:27:54.000 A head of education, a head of everything.

01:27:55.000 When you look at the school's list of what it aims to accomplish and how to educate the students, Promoting social justice is one of the primary things.

01:28:06.000 It's the first one above everything else.

01:28:09.000 And the idea is that why would this woman risk everything?

01:28:12.000 And what this woman's take is, who's criticizing this, is that she's not risking anything.

01:28:18.000 She's rewarded from this.

01:28:19.000 In her culture, this is a big deal.

01:28:22.000 And she's very cynical about this.

01:28:24.000 She's like, this woman has no recollection, doesn't remember how she got home, doesn't remember where the party was, but does remember that someone may have tried to do something to her.

01:28:34.000 You know, I'm not a big fan of criticizing people who come out and say someone did something to them, or try to do something to them, because you don't know.

01:28:43.000 You don't know.

01:28:44.000 You're on the outside looking in, and you're trying to pick holes in their story.

01:28:48.000 I don't even know if they know, because I don't remember.

01:28:50.000 Here it is.

01:28:52.000 Yeah.

01:28:52.000 If you click on the video, you can hear some of what this woman says.

01:28:58.000 Like, click on it and play some of what this woman says.

01:29:00.000 We don't have to.

01:29:09.000 She sounds like Jordan Peterson.

01:29:11.000 I don't think I can play that, actually.

01:29:12.000 It'll probably get kicked off?

01:29:14.000 Yeah.

01:29:15.000 Okay.

01:29:15.000 But the point is that there's only two people that know what really happened, and they don't even know what really happened.

01:29:20.000 Well, you're talking about something that happened 35 fucking years ago.

01:29:24.000 I mean, if she said 35 years ago, this guy raped me, Okay.

01:29:30.000 That's a different story.

01:29:31.000 Well, yeah.

01:29:32.000 This is not what she's saying, right?

01:29:34.000 What is she saying?

01:29:35.000 From what I understood, and by the way, this is something I distanced myself from, because it was so overwhelming that I was like, oh God, that he held her down while the other dude was in the room, and he kind of helped him hold her down, and he had his penis on her, or...

01:29:51.000 Is that what he's saying?

01:29:52.000 Let's find this, because people got super mad when we talked about this the other day.

01:29:56.000 Like, you should have done research before you discussed a predator.

01:29:58.000 I'm like...

01:29:59.000 But see, that's what's fucked up.

01:30:00.000 Is he really a predator?

01:30:01.000 First of all, I'm not supporting him anyway.

01:30:04.000 I'm not standing there.

01:30:05.000 None of us.

01:30:06.000 But that's the thing.

01:30:07.000 When you talk about it, someone goes, what are you in favor of him?

01:30:11.000 It's like, what the fuck are you talking about?

01:30:12.000 You have to have a conversation about what's going on.

01:30:15.000 Otherwise, I'm just a fucking numb.

01:30:17.000 The idea is that this is a giant platform and that if we're discussing in this giant platform, we should be informed.

01:30:21.000 I disagree with that because I think that we're just having a conversation.

01:30:24.000 Yeah, we're just talking about something.

01:30:25.000 You just happen to be privy to this conversation because millions...

01:30:28.000 I'm not pretending I'm some sort of an expert or that I have some sort of information that you don't.

01:30:32.000 If you have those misconceptions, let me clear those up right now.

01:30:35.000 I'm a fucking moron talking to another moron next to another moron.

01:30:39.000 There's three morons in this room.

01:30:41.000 They're all dudes.

01:30:42.000 Talking.

01:30:43.000 Just chatting.

01:30:43.000 We don't know jack shit.

01:30:44.000 Nah.

01:30:45.000 I know my feeling of the whole thing.

01:30:47.000 I know the feeling of the whole thing is that no matter what anybody...

01:30:51.000 It's kind of like what got in trouble for Norm, you know, when McDowell got in trouble.

01:30:56.000 No matter what, I think both people are suffering in a bad, bad way.

01:31:00.000 Okay, hear what it says here.

01:31:02.000 It was surely the most explosive and surreal confirmation hearing since Clarence Thomas and Anita Hill in 1991. A nominee from the Supreme Court was asked if he was a gang rapist and a blackout drunk while defending himself by describing how long he...

01:31:16.000 Preserved his virginity.

01:31:17.000 His accuser described him...

01:31:19.000 Grinding into me.

01:31:21.000 Covering her mouth.

01:31:22.000 Covering her mouth and fearing that he was accidentally going to kill me.

01:31:26.000 Going to kill me.

01:31:26.000 Okay.

01:31:27.000 Well, that's pretty fucking serious.

01:31:28.000 So if he was covering her mouth because she was protesting and he was grinding into her, that's some pretty dark shit.

01:31:36.000 Fuck yeah.

01:31:36.000 So that accusation...

01:31:38.000 Keep going down a little bit.

01:31:38.000 Yeah, keep scrolling down, please.

01:31:40.000 Unlike Ms. Hill, 27 years ago, Dr. Blasey, a psychology professor in California, was treated gingerly in the Republicans who feared...

01:31:47.000 Okay, this is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

01:31:49.000 Thursday, she became a very human being, telling a terrible story about Judge Kavanaugh in compelling terms that brought many women to tears and transformed the battle for the Supreme Court.

01:31:59.000 Okay, well, see, that's all I needed to hear.

01:32:02.000 See, the kind of person...

01:32:05.000 Now, look, I don't know if he did this, but if he did do this, the kind of person that covers a woman's mouth...

01:32:12.000 Yeah, that's crazy shit.

01:32:13.000 That's an extra level of darkness.

01:32:15.000 That's not like trying to kiss her, trying to grind against each other, covering someone's mouth.

01:32:21.000 Right, that's rape.

01:32:22.000 If he really did that.

01:32:23.000 Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

01:32:24.000 If it's all true, that's what that is.

01:32:26.000 That's him trying to hold her back from something.

01:32:28.000 So Donald Trump said this famous quote that it's a tough time for boys.

01:32:36.000 You know?

01:32:37.000 It's a tough time for boys.

01:32:37.000 So a girl made a song.

01:32:40.000 I heard that song.

01:32:41.000 The song is actually very catchy.

01:32:43.000 It's a great song.

01:32:43.000 It's a good song.

01:32:44.000 And I'm going to tweet it, but when I was about to tweet it, I'm like, people are going to get so fucking mad at me.

01:32:51.000 Her name is...

01:32:53.000 On Twitter, it's Mercedes L-Y-N-Z. She has a beautiful voice, and the song is...

01:33:02.000 It's a scary time for dudes.

01:33:05.000 Scary time for dudes, yeah.

01:33:06.000 I listened to it a few times.

01:33:07.000 It was really good.

01:33:07.000 Maybe we could play a little bit of it.

01:33:10.000 Can we play a little bit of it, or we get kicked off of YouTube?

01:33:12.000 Jamie's like, nah.

01:33:13.000 Jamie's just shaking his head with everything.

01:33:15.000 Shaking his fucking head.

01:33:16.000 It's just that it would get tagged, because I'm sure she's trying to monetize it.

01:33:19.000 Oh, she's probably got a billion views.

01:33:21.000 So anyway, her Twitter page...

01:33:23.000 Listen, you know, and this is the thing, men in particular, you're going to hear this, you go, oh, you're fucking supporting this?

01:33:29.000 Anti-men fucking male bashing shit?

01:33:32.000 Just give me a little volume.

01:33:46.000 Look, she's just going on about how difficult it is to be a girl.

01:33:52.000 And when you're not a girl, it's not something you consider.

01:33:56.000 And so all these guys are like...

01:33:57.000 It's a lot of good truth.

01:33:58.000 She's like, I can't live on the first floor.

01:34:00.000 I can't just leave my window open at night.

01:34:02.000 All these things are fucking very, very true.

01:34:04.000 And it's a good song.

01:34:05.000 She's got a beautiful voice.

01:34:06.000 Yeah.

01:34:07.000 Listen, this is the whole thing that I think we're talking about.

01:34:11.000 You're allowed to see truth on all sides of all of these issues.

01:34:16.000 I don't think you ever have to be so staunch about anything.

01:34:18.000 I disagree with people that are so staunch about just being like, this is the end of the discussion, you're only this way or not.

01:34:24.000 It's like, no man, I don't know all the stories, I don't know all the truths of that Kavanaugh bullshit, I don't know all the truths of anything.

01:34:31.000 That woman coming forward, I tend to believe a woman that's going to go out of her way.

01:34:35.000 I don't think she's looking for fame.

01:34:37.000 I don't think any of the girls that came out for Louis were looking for fame and attention.

01:34:40.000 No one wants attention to have their name googled and come up with this for the rest of their life.

01:34:44.000 I wouldn't say that.

01:34:46.000 See, I don't...

01:34:46.000 I wouldn't say no one.

01:34:47.000 I think most people don't want that kind of...

01:34:51.000 Okay, you know what?

01:34:53.000 Most people.

01:34:53.000 Okay, you know who does want that kind of attention?

01:34:56.000 Psychopaths.

01:34:57.000 The Donald Trump, what's her name?

01:34:58.000 The fucking porn star?

01:34:59.000 Stormy Daniels.

01:34:59.000 Okay, yeah.

01:35:00.000 I think all she wanted was attention.

01:35:02.000 I'm sorry.

01:35:03.000 She fucked a guy consensually and all she did was make fun of his penis.

01:35:07.000 She wants money.

01:35:08.000 Yeah, no shit.

01:35:09.000 She's making money from it and she's in her 40s and she's still stripping.

01:35:13.000 It's fucking sad.

01:35:14.000 It's not good.

01:35:14.000 But these other women, Dr. Ford and these other women, they're not doing it for the fucking attention.

01:35:19.000 She's doing that because there is a truth in there of what happened and I believe that.

01:35:22.000 I don't know what it is, but I believe there's something fucked up that went down and unfortunately, we are in the middle of this What can be done?

01:35:31.000 Who knows?

01:35:33.000 There's no physical evidence or rape.

01:35:36.000 It's this weird gray area.

01:35:37.000 Like, what am I supposed to do?

01:35:38.000 There's also this deep understanding of the flaws of the human memory, both his and hers.

01:35:43.000 Totally.

01:35:44.000 When you're dealing with 35 years ago, if you tried to ask me, you know, what happened when you and this girl were making out in the backseat of a car 35 years ago, like...

01:35:51.000 Good luck.

01:35:52.000 I don't know.

01:35:54.000 There's a few moments I remember, oh, this girl blew me and it was amazing.

01:35:57.000 It's about that.

01:35:58.000 I don't fucking know.

01:35:59.000 I have to remember very few sexual encounters from high school, but I remember my girlfriend...

01:36:03.000 But I know they were consensual.

01:36:04.000 Yes, all of them were consensual.

01:36:05.000 That's what I'm saying.

01:36:06.000 But my girlfriend gave me a blowjob on the porch, and I came so hard my ears rang, and it's never happened since.

01:36:12.000 Never happened since.

01:36:13.000 I peaked when I was 16 years old.

01:36:15.000 I nutted so hard.

01:36:17.000 It was like...

01:36:18.000 You remember the best blowjob you've ever had.

01:36:22.000 I wasn't beating off back then.

01:36:24.000 I actually had sex before I jerked off.

01:36:28.000 Really?

01:36:29.000 Yeah, I did.

01:36:30.000 And it's not like I had sex real young either.

01:36:32.000 How old were you when you first fucked?

01:36:34.000 I think I was 16. How old were you, Jamie?

01:36:37.000 Nine.

01:36:38.000 You fuck machine.

01:36:39.000 He's an animal.

01:36:40.000 Look at him.

01:36:41.000 Look at him over there.

01:36:41.000 He's the nut king.

01:36:42.000 He's the nut king.

01:36:43.000 That's your next shirt.

01:36:44.000 Nut king.

01:36:45.000 Hashtag nut king.

01:36:49.000 In Catholic school, just lifting up skirts and just sending it home.

01:36:53.000 Oh!

01:36:54.000 You know how I know they weren't wearing panties?

01:36:54.000 You know, Jamie's got the biggest dick over at St. Peter's.

01:36:57.000 Yeah, that's right.

01:36:59.000 Hey, no, seriously.

01:37:00.000 How old were you?

01:37:00.000 Do you know?

01:37:01.000 Like 17. Yeah, 16, 17. That's right.

01:37:03.000 That's average ages.

01:37:04.000 Man with biggest...

01:37:05.000 That's the nut king.

01:37:06.000 Oh, my God.

01:37:08.000 Look at that guy's balls.

01:37:09.000 That's the real nut king.

01:37:10.000 That poor bastard.

01:37:11.000 There's a bunch of those guys.

01:37:12.000 Holy shit.

01:37:12.000 They get elephantitis of the balls.

01:37:14.000 I guess they just don't want to get their balls cut off.

01:37:18.000 Oh, this guy.

01:37:19.000 That looks like a Halloween costume.

01:37:21.000 That was a Halloween costume.

01:37:22.000 That was a Halloween costume.

01:37:23.000 Oh, it was?

01:37:23.000 I was gonna say.

01:37:24.000 But there's some men who really do have those balls.

01:37:27.000 Look at that guy.

01:37:28.000 That guy's naked.

01:37:29.000 That's his sack.

01:37:30.000 Wait a minute.

01:37:30.000 So tell me, you fucked before you ever jerked off.

01:37:32.000 Yeah, I did.

01:37:33.000 And so then when you jerked off, were you just...

01:37:36.000 I don't recommend.

01:37:37.000 Because I had zero control.

01:37:38.000 I was just gonna say.

01:37:39.000 Was stuck in it.

01:37:39.000 I was like, Yikes!

01:37:41.000 Woo!

01:37:42.000 Pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow!

01:37:43.000 I mean, I remember the first time I had sex without, like, raw, without a condom, was my brain was like, alright, there's a strategy to this, you gotta be able to last out the window.

01:37:54.000 The moment it was just like...

01:37:55.000 Yeah, the first time I ever orgasmed was a girl jerking me off.

01:38:00.000 Well, I guess mine was jeans rubbing.

01:38:02.000 Mine was dry humping.

01:38:04.000 Jamie, you did a bunch of that shit?

01:38:05.000 You dry humped?

01:38:06.000 I didn't nut from dry humping.

01:38:08.000 I probably had a little bit in my underwear.

01:38:10.000 You know, I used to have a bit about that.

01:38:12.000 Like, you ever take your underwear off and there's this stream of sperm that's somehow or another from the tip of your dick to your underwear?

01:38:18.000 Like, what the fuck is this?

01:38:19.000 I go, that's those green beret sperm that live around the tip of your dick with a knife in their mouth.

01:38:24.000 Don't give a fuck about your plans for the future.

01:38:26.000 Those are the ones that get people pregnant.

01:38:28.000 Because they're just ready to go!

01:38:29.000 Ready to go!

01:38:30.000 He's like, you can't take me down!

01:38:31.000 This is pussy!

01:38:31.000 Let's go!

01:38:32.000 Boom!

01:38:32.000 They hit the underwear.

01:38:33.000 Fuck!

01:38:34.000 This is pussy, let's go.

01:38:35.000 They're overzealous.

01:38:36.000 They're overzealous.

01:38:37.000 They hit that underwear.

01:38:38.000 Because sometimes you find pre-cum in your underwear, and you're like, what is this?

01:38:42.000 Oh, yeah.

01:38:42.000 What's happening here?

01:38:43.000 Pre-cum is the strongest cum.

01:38:44.000 That is the most potent.

01:38:46.000 Animals.

01:38:46.000 Yeah, that's the most potent.

01:38:47.000 Animals, savages, like the hordes, barbarian hordes.

01:38:51.000 Fucking swords and shit.

01:38:53.000 Pre-cum is like the, what is it, the green berets or whatever?

01:38:56.000 Yeah, that's what I said.

01:38:57.000 Yeah, the green berets.

01:38:58.000 Well, it's because...

01:38:59.000 My regular cum is like the Navy Reserves.

01:39:01.000 Yeah, like Coast Guard.

01:39:05.000 They might come out.

01:39:06.000 You guys gonna make it?

01:39:07.000 Nah.

01:39:08.000 Not to disrespect the Coast Guard.

01:39:10.000 Thank you, boys.

01:39:11.000 And women.

01:39:13.000 Yeah, man.

01:39:13.000 I mean, I didn't get any Birds and the Bees talk.

01:39:17.000 Did you?

01:39:17.000 What?

01:39:18.000 Not even remotely.

01:39:19.000 What the fuck?

01:39:20.000 My parents?

01:39:21.000 No fucking way.

01:39:22.000 Did you get anything?

01:39:22.000 Nah, I was trying to think.

01:39:23.000 I don't think they even really did it in school.

01:39:25.000 Maybe it's just like...

01:39:26.000 They didn't teach a shit.

01:39:28.000 No, man.

01:39:28.000 I didn't get...

01:39:28.000 They didn't teach a shit.

01:39:31.000 This is my father embarrassed the shit out of me.

01:39:34.000 I don't know if I've told this on this thing, but the most embarrassing thing my father did to me, we were eating dinner.

01:39:38.000 When I first started jerking off and figuring it out and shit, you know, my dad, at dinner, in front of my family, my dad was like, you've been spending a lot of time in the bathroom.

01:39:48.000 And my mom was like, hey, stop it.

01:39:53.000 And I was like, these motherfuckers have been talking about me.

01:39:57.000 They know I'm jerking off and they've had multiple conversations like, God, he must be whacking off again, that little fucking hornball.

01:40:03.000 Because I would lock the door and go in the bathroom.

01:40:04.000 I would jerk him in the bathroom.

01:40:05.000 I got a stomach ache if my mother ever said anything.

01:40:07.000 And they embarrass you.

01:40:08.000 Oh my God!

01:40:09.000 In front of my fucking...

01:40:10.000 It's like, my sister's there.

01:40:11.000 I was like, oh my God.

01:40:12.000 And my mom was like, hey, like that.

01:40:14.000 And my dad was like, oh, no, no, no, nothing, nothing.

01:40:16.000 And I just knew it was him taking the...

01:40:18.000 You know what it was?

01:40:19.000 Now as a man, like I know that to my son, I'll take a shot like that, too.

01:40:24.000 It was just a guy shooting.

01:40:25.000 Yeah, but you would tell your son.

01:40:26.000 I know, but I would shit on him a little bit, too, because that was funny.

01:40:29.000 Of course.

01:40:29.000 It was funny.

01:40:30.000 It was very funny.

01:40:30.000 In retrospect, it was like, he bought me a Kathy Ireland poster.

01:40:33.000 Do you remember Kathy Ireland?

01:40:34.000 Yeah.

01:40:35.000 He bought me a Kathy Ireland poster, and he was like, don't...

01:40:37.000 And he said something along the lines of like, uh...

01:40:40.000 Don't let this get stuck together.

01:40:41.000 And I was like, oh, okay.

01:40:43.000 But I know.

01:40:44.000 He's just like, you little fucking jerk-off freak.

01:40:46.000 Hang this in your room.

01:40:47.000 Got you a Kathy Ireland poster.

01:40:49.000 Dude, I used to love her.

01:40:50.000 I thought she was gorgeous.

01:40:51.000 She's still hot.

01:40:52.000 Yeah, she's still beautiful.

01:40:53.000 She's one of those chicks that's hanging in there.

01:40:54.000 She was my ultimate favorite supermodel.

01:40:58.000 She's like 180 years old now.

01:40:59.000 She still looks hot.

01:41:00.000 How old is she now?

01:41:03.000 55. No!

01:41:04.000 Let me see Kathy Ireland today.

01:41:05.000 Let's see what she looks like.

01:41:06.000 What?

01:41:07.000 Still beautiful.

01:41:08.000 Wait a minute.

01:41:08.000 Is that real?

01:41:09.000 She looks that good?

01:41:12.000 Jesus Christ.

01:41:13.000 What kind of genetics does she have?

01:41:15.000 Is that a recent image?

01:41:16.000 Yeah, it looks recent.

01:41:18.000 Come on.

01:41:19.000 5'10".

01:41:20.000 That's why I love it.

01:41:21.000 Recent image of Kathy Ireland.

01:41:22.000 Kathy Ireland reveals...

01:41:24.000 Still gorgeous.

01:41:25.000 Oh my god, she's beautiful.

01:41:27.000 That's incredible.

01:41:28.000 Will you go back to her when she's young, Jamie?

01:41:30.000 Pull up an image of when she was like at her peak.

01:41:31.000 When she was like her...

01:41:32.000 Kathy Ireland that I remember when I was a kid was like...

01:41:35.000 She was super hot.

01:41:37.000 No, those aren't it.

01:41:38.000 That's her age.

01:41:39.000 That's kind of it.

01:41:40.000 You Googled 90s.

01:41:40.000 Look at that.

01:41:41.000 Holy shit.

01:41:43.000 She was fucking unbelievable.

01:41:47.000 Google Kathy Ireland 2018. God.

01:41:50.000 Damn, she was my favorite, dude.

01:41:51.000 Google Kathy Ireland 2018. Let's see what she looks like now.

01:41:55.000 That was a video I had played of her.

01:41:56.000 That's real.

01:41:57.000 That was 2018 when you just played?

01:41:59.000 Yeah, that was New York Stock Exchange.

01:42:00.000 Go to images.

01:42:01.000 Let's see.

01:42:02.000 That second one's not her.

01:42:04.000 Look at her with the red.

01:42:05.000 The one above that with the cleavage.

01:42:07.000 That's insane.

01:42:08.000 She's fucking gorgeous.

01:42:09.000 She's so hot.

01:42:10.000 Gorgeous.

01:42:10.000 Congratulations, lady.

01:42:11.000 She's a photographer.

01:42:12.000 She punched a photographer.

01:42:13.000 Click on that.

01:42:14.000 Fuck yeah, I love that.

01:42:15.000 Now I like her even more.

01:42:16.000 She's got moxie.

01:42:17.000 Because they're fucking annoying.

01:42:18.000 Punched a photographer at age 17. After he crossed the line.

01:42:21.000 Oh, okay.

01:42:21.000 Good.

01:42:22.000 She just sucked him the fuck out.

01:42:23.000 That, by the way, is the ultimate creepo move.

01:42:27.000 Photographer shit?

01:42:27.000 I knew a dude who was a photographer.

01:42:30.000 I'm using air quotes, because really he was a weed dealer.

01:42:33.000 And he dabbled in photography, and he would do it for girls who wanted, air quotes again, model.

01:42:40.000 And he would help them, but he would tell me, yeah, you get them alone.

01:42:44.000 And the first time you take pictures with them, you barely talk to them, you ignore them.

01:42:48.000 And then after a while, you say, come on, you got to give me more, you got to show me more.

01:42:52.000 And the next thing you know, you're banging them.

01:42:53.000 These are rapists, by the way.

01:42:55.000 Sort of.

01:42:56.000 Like, you know what I mean?

01:42:56.000 A planned rapist.

01:42:58.000 Yeah, but he wasn't raping anybody.

01:42:59.000 I know, but he was a gross guy.

01:43:00.000 He's a fucking sicko.

01:43:01.000 That figured out a way to get girls turned on.

01:43:04.000 Like, they wanted to turn him on.

01:43:06.000 And by him ignoring them, this was his move.

01:43:11.000 The move was, you take pictures of them the first time and you totally ignore them.

01:43:16.000 And don't even pay attention to it?

01:43:17.000 You just take pictures of him like it's no big deal.

01:43:18.000 Okay, okay.

01:43:19.000 Alright, leave.

01:43:20.000 Why don't you try something else?

01:43:21.000 Okay.

01:43:22.000 Stick your legs in different, like put your foot back there.

01:43:26.000 That's it.

01:43:27.000 Okay, look towards me.

01:43:28.000 Okay.

01:43:28.000 Great.

01:43:28.000 Okay.

01:43:29.000 Great.

01:43:29.000 And there was no, wow, you are so beautiful.

01:43:32.000 There was nothing.

01:43:33.000 There was nothing.

01:43:33.000 Nothing.

01:43:34.000 He'd give him nothing.

01:43:34.000 And then give him a little the second time.

01:43:36.000 And then he would start, and he would take pictures with them for free.

01:43:39.000 Because they all had no money, but they wanted photos.

01:43:42.000 They wanted to be models.

01:43:43.000 And he had good cameras.

01:43:44.000 Sure.

01:43:44.000 Because he sold weed, so he had a lot of money.

01:43:47.000 I don't know how difficult photography is.

01:43:50.000 You do.

01:43:51.000 It's difficult.

01:43:51.000 For sure, yeah.

01:43:52.000 Well, to be good at it.

01:43:53.000 What's the name of the creepo dude, Terry?

01:43:55.000 What's his fucking name?

01:43:56.000 That guy that he got in trouble, right?

01:43:57.000 He did like...

01:43:58.000 Is that it?

01:44:00.000 Yeah, I think so.

01:44:00.000 Yeah, he got in trouble for being a creep.

01:44:03.000 And he was the kind of guy...

01:44:04.000 All those photos he took of like...

01:44:05.000 You know, um...

01:44:07.000 Well, apparently he has a giant hog.

01:44:08.000 I mean...

01:44:09.000 And he'd have girls, like, jerk him off and stuff.

01:44:10.000 Yeah, he'd have girls tug him while he...

01:44:11.000 Yeah, this fucking guy.

01:44:13.000 And right, didn't he end up getting in trouble?

01:44:15.000 Yeah, yeah, he ended up getting in all sorts of trouble.

01:44:17.000 Creep.

01:44:18.000 Yeah, but look at this fucking guy.

01:44:19.000 Look at how he looks...

01:44:20.000 When someone says, what does a creep look like, I go, yeah, like a fucking three-quarter balding glasses weirdo with a strange mustache or mutton chops.

01:44:27.000 It's this guy.

01:44:28.000 Mutton chops, for sure.

01:44:30.000 We missed something on Kathy Ireland.

01:44:32.000 What's that?

01:44:33.000 We missed something here.

01:44:33.000 With a net worth of $350 million, Kathy makes an additional $2 billion off her retail empire.

01:44:40.000 Dude, she's a gangster.

01:44:42.000 According to a profile in Forbes magazine, which means that Ireland has even surpassed rumored billionaire Jessica Simpson in revenue.

01:44:48.000 Damn, Jessica Simpson's a billionaire?

01:44:50.000 Shazam!

01:44:51.000 From her makeup and clothing and shit.

01:44:54.000 Yeah, she's a genius.

01:44:55.000 I heard it was all from blowjobs.

01:44:56.000 Yeah, you suck a billion dicks, you get a billion bucks.

01:45:00.000 Imagine.

01:45:00.000 Damn, billionaire.

01:45:02.000 That's crazy shit.

01:45:03.000 I should've...

01:45:03.000 A thousand million.

01:45:04.000 I should've...

01:45:05.000 Kathy Ireland, slide into my DMs, please.

01:45:07.000 Slide in.

01:45:07.000 Come on.

01:45:08.000 Who cares if you're 55?

01:45:08.000 You fucking billionaire.

01:45:10.000 Make it happen, baby.

01:45:10.000 Make it happen.

01:45:11.000 Make it happen.

01:45:12.000 I'll find that photographer, you punch, and I'll finish the fucking job.

01:45:16.000 Joe murders...

01:45:17.000 If he's still alive.

01:45:18.000 I'll crush his soul.

01:45:20.000 I'll break his ribs.

01:45:21.000 All of them.

01:45:22.000 It's fucking...

01:45:23.000 Imagine walking around with all broken ribs.

01:45:25.000 Just...

01:45:27.000 I broke two ribs playing football and I'll never forget the pain of that.

01:45:30.000 I'd rather break any other bone than a rib again.

01:45:33.000 You can't inhale and then when you sit down you're like in pain.

01:45:38.000 I hated ribs.

01:45:39.000 I broke an arm, ankle, Collarbone ribs.

01:45:45.000 Collarbone's a rough one.

01:45:46.000 Collarbone fucking sucks.

01:45:48.000 My brother-in-law had a metal plate put in his shoulder because his collarbone was shattered in a motorcycle accident.

01:45:53.000 I was just gonna say.

01:45:54.000 It's either like motorcycles or skiing or like any...

01:45:56.000 anything where you're going over 30 miles an hour slam.

01:46:00.000 That's the only way to break a collarbone.

01:46:01.000 There's no other way.

01:46:01.000 He had a fake collarbone.

01:46:03.000 Yeah.

01:46:03.000 Did he get hit by a car?

01:46:06.000 A motorcycle crash.

01:46:07.000 I'm saying, oh, he wiped out.

01:46:09.000 He wiped out.

01:46:10.000 Dude, I saw a guy get hit the other day, and it made my heart hurt for the kid.

01:46:14.000 On a bike?

01:46:14.000 Yeah, he got smoked.

01:46:16.000 I watched it.

01:46:17.000 I watched it happen.

01:46:19.000 He was going left through an intersection.

01:46:21.000 A guy ran the yellow.

01:46:22.000 But he was really running a red.

01:46:24.000 It was red.

01:46:24.000 You know what I mean?

01:46:25.000 And he slammed on the brakes, and the car turned a little bit, and he tried to jerk the bike as hard as he could, but boom.

01:46:33.000 He was alive, but I was just like, oh!

01:46:36.000 Probably broken.

01:46:37.000 Oh, dude, he didn't move.

01:46:40.000 Fuck.

01:46:42.000 Motorcycles are so scary, man.

01:46:43.000 They scare the shit out of me, man.

01:46:44.000 I was at a red light this morning, and the light turned green, and some dude just whizzed in between me and some guy who was about to change lanes.

01:46:53.000 So, like, I'm in this lane, and I'm driving straight, and this guy was about to change lanes, and this guy went, and I went, oh!

01:47:00.000 Inches away.

01:47:01.000 I almost saw death.

01:47:02.000 I almost saw a guy get killed.

01:47:04.000 And that happens all day every day in LA because they're allowed to cut lanes.

01:47:08.000 But here's the thing.

01:47:08.000 They assume risk.

01:47:10.000 Yeah.

01:47:10.000 Yep.

01:47:11.000 They assume all the risk.

01:47:12.000 If you are in that thing where you're cutting lanes and a guy turns into you and kills you.

01:47:16.000 It's their fault.

01:47:17.000 It's on you.

01:47:17.000 Yep.

01:47:18.000 It's crazy.

01:47:19.000 Like in Chicago, you can't split lanes.

01:47:21.000 In Illinois, you're not allowed to.

01:47:22.000 Shouldn't be allowed to.

01:47:23.000 But there's no helmet law.

01:47:24.000 I've seen that.

01:47:25.000 To me, it's like the most banana shit.

01:47:27.000 When I go to Chicago, it's all these fucking guys on Harley.

01:47:29.000 Fuck yeah.

01:47:30.000 Fucking helmets.

01:47:31.000 With their feet up on the things.

01:47:33.000 Yeah.

01:47:34.000 Not wearing a helmet.

01:47:35.000 I'm not some fanoink.

01:47:36.000 Not some faggy dude.

01:47:38.000 I ain't some fucking pussy.

01:47:39.000 Scared of head trauma.

01:47:41.000 They should just all be forced to look at Gary Busey before and after.

01:47:46.000 You don't want to wear a fucking helmet?

01:47:47.000 You sure?

01:47:47.000 That's what did him in.

01:47:48.000 I know.

01:47:48.000 You know, he hit a curb with his skull.

01:47:51.000 Dude, a curb.

01:47:52.000 The fact that he's alive is insane.

01:47:54.000 Oh, doctors, man.

01:47:55.000 Doctors, they should have just smothered him with a pillow.

01:47:57.000 You're good.

01:47:58.000 We're gonna take you out, dude.

01:48:00.000 Poor bastard.

01:48:01.000 I was watching some thing the other day with him really recently talking, and I was like, whoa.

01:48:07.000 It's great to be here on Rogan.

01:48:08.000 Joe, I fucking love you, man.

01:48:11.000 He's incapable of having normal talk.

01:48:14.000 It's all theatrical and animated.

01:48:17.000 I think years of acting and stuff laid in his brain and now that he's off the edge, I think he feels like he has to be a caricature to feel normal.

01:48:28.000 Right.

01:48:28.000 I also think that's the way he masks the serious brain trauma.

01:48:34.000 And pain.

01:48:34.000 Maybe.

01:48:35.000 Whatever pain is really going on, I think that's it.

01:48:37.000 Maybe he's fine.

01:48:37.000 Maybe you meet him and he's like, hey, I'm playing it up.

01:48:39.000 This is what I got.

01:48:40.000 He's like, what do you mean?

01:48:41.000 This is a bit.

01:48:41.000 This is my thing.

01:48:42.000 This is what I got.

01:48:43.000 He's outside smoking a cigarette.

01:48:44.000 He goes, what are you guys talking about?

01:48:45.000 This is a fucking bit.

01:48:46.000 Chill.

01:48:46.000 It's just me doing...

01:48:47.000 Trying to make a living, bro.

01:48:49.000 Just making money, man.

01:48:49.000 I'm trying to feed my fucking family.

01:48:50.000 Why are you getting shit on me?

01:48:51.000 What the fuck is wrong with you?

01:48:52.000 So I got one eye that's like two inches higher than the other one?

01:48:56.000 That's what he's got now.

01:48:57.000 It's above his eyebrow.

01:48:58.000 It's like where an eyebrow should be.

01:48:59.000 It's like way up here.

01:49:00.000 Well, his skull got caved in.

01:49:02.000 I know.

01:49:02.000 I mean...

01:49:03.000 I know it's not funny to laugh at, but my god, he just looks...

01:49:06.000 When you see him when he's young, you know, he's kind of like a normal-looking dude, like an okay-looking dude, and then now you're like, Jesus fucking Christ.

01:49:14.000 He's just all squirrely now.

01:49:15.000 But if you go back to him in, like, Lethal Weapon, he was a bad motherfucker.

01:49:19.000 Like, look at his left eyes, like, down.

01:49:24.000 It's like shifted.

01:49:25.000 Something's wrong.

01:49:26.000 Yeah.

01:49:27.000 But when he was young, like the Lethal Weapon, like when he played Mr. Joshua, dude, he was a fucking wicked ass.

01:49:33.000 No, he was awesome.

01:49:34.000 Go to that one picture with the two heads.

01:49:36.000 Scroll down, please.

01:49:37.000 Some of these are Photoshopped.

01:49:38.000 Go to that one picture with the green lettering.

01:49:40.000 Yeah, it's totally Photoshopped.

01:49:43.000 Oh, yeah, don't go to that.

01:49:44.000 Yeah, a lot of these are...

01:49:45.000 That's rude.

01:49:47.000 That's just being an asshole.

01:49:48.000 How about the one on the right-hand side with the suit?

01:49:50.000 Yeah, I was just going to say.

01:49:51.000 Where you got a suit on?

01:49:51.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:49:52.000 This one?

01:49:53.000 Below that.

01:49:53.000 The suit?

01:49:54.000 The actual suit?

01:49:55.000 Right there.

01:49:56.000 That's a real photo, player.

01:49:58.000 Just being silly.

01:50:01.000 Well, this was back when helmet laws didn't exist.

01:50:05.000 Yeah, no helmet law.

01:50:06.000 You could ride around LA with no helmet.

01:50:08.000 I mean, even if there wasn't a law, why wouldn't you want to?

01:50:11.000 I mean, fuck me.

01:50:11.000 I get that it's probably the way I don't listen.

01:50:14.000 The bike community is like, you don't get it.

01:50:16.000 Yeah, bro, you don't understand freedom.

01:50:17.000 I like my fucking brain.

01:50:19.000 I like my brain.

01:50:21.000 Sorry, man.

01:50:22.000 But there's a lot of states.

01:50:23.000 Arizona is another one.

01:50:24.000 You see people with no helmets.

01:50:27.000 Texas.

01:50:28.000 I think Vegas.

01:50:29.000 Are you allowed to have in Nevada?

01:50:31.000 I mean, I've seen plenty of guys on bikes without one, but I can't tell you what cop would pull you over.

01:50:35.000 You know what I mean?

01:50:35.000 It's kind of like in Vegas, what do they do the last thing on their fucking mind?

01:50:40.000 In Vegas you are?

01:50:42.000 Just Google states without helmet laws and see how many there are.

01:50:44.000 Colorado, I know you don't have to have one.

01:50:46.000 Definitely not.

01:50:46.000 That's a wild country, man.

01:50:48.000 They don't give a fuck.

01:50:49.000 Nope.

01:50:50.000 It's a square state.

01:50:51.000 Square state?

01:50:51.000 Perfectly square, man.

01:50:52.000 There's only 19 states that require it.

01:50:54.000 There is no motorcycle helmet use law in three states, Illinois, Iowa, New Hampshire, but it says currently 19 states and D.C. have laws requiring all riders.

01:51:07.000 19 states, all riders.

01:51:09.000 But three states have no laws?

01:51:11.000 Yeah, Illinois.

01:51:12.000 But some states...

01:51:14.000 Wait a minute.

01:51:16.000 It's only three states where you can wear no helmet?

01:51:19.000 What are those states?

01:51:20.000 Illinois, Iowa, and New Hampshire.

01:51:22.000 Wait a minute, Colorado.

01:51:26.000 Maybe it's new.

01:51:30.000 Wait a minute, just Google helmet laws in Colorado.

01:51:34.000 I've seen people ride motorcycles in Colorado with no helmet.

01:51:39.000 Although helmets are proven to save lives in Colorado, however, if the motorcycle operator or passengers are under 18, they must wear helmets.

01:51:46.000 Passengers?

01:51:47.000 Yeah.

01:51:47.000 See, that's saying passenger law.

01:51:48.000 Yeah, but that's under 18. But that's under 18. Oh, there you go.

01:51:53.000 But if they're over 18, they can do whatever the fuck they want.

01:51:56.000 Is that what it says?

01:51:56.000 That's what it says.

01:51:57.000 So there is no helmet law.

01:52:00.000 If you're 16 to 18, you have to go.

01:52:02.000 Yeah, they have helmet laws.

01:52:04.000 So what you're saying is three states have no helmet laws.

01:52:07.000 Correct.

01:52:07.000 That means under 18, over 18. Doesn't matter.

01:52:10.000 Doesn't matter.

01:52:10.000 Right.

01:52:11.000 But some states have laws, but grown-ass adults can decide to go suicide style.

01:52:17.000 Yeah, that's what it is.

01:52:19.000 Yeah.

01:52:19.000 That's fucking crazy.

01:52:20.000 It's weird that people would fight for that.

01:52:21.000 Well, that's like saying no seatbelt law.

01:52:24.000 Well, that's the crazy thing.

01:52:25.000 You don't want to wear it?

01:52:26.000 But here's the thing.

01:52:27.000 Like, how is it okay to ride a motorcycle ever and I have to have a seatbelt on?

01:52:32.000 Yeah.

01:52:33.000 Like, I'm inside a metal cage.

01:52:35.000 These motherfuckers.

01:52:36.000 That is a 3,500 pound cage.

01:52:38.000 I'm holding onto a steering wheel.

01:52:40.000 And this motherfucker's just got handlebars.

01:52:42.000 He can go flying.

01:52:43.000 I don't get that shit.

01:52:44.000 I don't know why you wouldn't want to fucking wear a helmet.

01:52:47.000 There's nothing to hold you on.

01:52:48.000 You're fucked.

01:52:49.000 You get clipped, you're done.

01:52:50.000 We're going to come to a time within the next 20 years where automated cars are going to be the norm and you're not going to be allowed to drive.

01:52:56.000 There's going to be states where you're not allowed to drive yourself.

01:52:59.000 But what you just said was right.

01:53:01.000 There will be states that will absolutely fight against that to make sure people can still drive.

01:53:05.000 Ticks!

01:53:06.000 That's fucking right.

01:53:07.000 Do whatever the fuck we want, Tesla.

01:53:09.000 Mr. Tesla man.

01:53:10.000 Listen here, Elon Musk.

01:53:12.000 I saw you smoke reefer with Joe Rogan.

01:53:14.000 I saw you smoke pot on Rogan.

01:53:15.000 You don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

01:53:17.000 Son of a bitch.

01:53:17.000 Your brain's all rotten out from the inside.

01:53:19.000 Shooting dildos into space.

01:53:20.000 I know what the fuck you're up to, Elon.

01:53:22.000 You fucking shady motherfucker.

01:53:24.000 One of my favorite conspiracy theories was that there was an actual man that fucked Elon's wife that was in the suit of the rocket man that they shot into space.

01:53:34.000 Of the car that he shot into space.

01:53:34.000 Can you imagine?

01:53:35.000 Elon's like, you fuck my wife, I'll send you to space.

01:53:37.000 Yeah, he duct tapes your mouth and straps you into a rocket, launches you into space.

01:53:43.000 He gives you oxygen for like five days.

01:53:45.000 That would be the most fucked up way to die.

01:53:46.000 He's like, I'm gonna let you see space, but then you're gonna fucking die.

01:53:49.000 You're gonna die slow.

01:53:51.000 Very slow.

01:53:51.000 I'm gonna give you nuts and poison tea.

01:53:53.000 And a little tube to breathe.

01:53:55.000 But when you shit yourself, you will die in the space suit.

01:53:58.000 Yeah, that there's a guy in that suit.

01:54:00.000 That's a great conspiracy.

01:54:01.000 Just imagine what a fucking psychopath you have to be to launch a car that you made into space like that.

01:54:08.000 Can I tell you something?

01:54:09.000 That's a dope car.

01:54:10.000 I think that's the coolest fucking thing anybody's ever done in space.

01:54:13.000 Launch a car into space?

01:54:13.000 Launch some shit into space.

01:54:15.000 That's an artifact.

01:54:16.000 That's an artifact for someone to find.

01:54:17.000 Imagine if you're in an alien race and you're flying by.

01:54:20.000 You're like, we're going to go to Earth.

01:54:21.000 We spotted something.

01:54:22.000 What is it?

01:54:23.000 It seems to be some sort of vehicle.

01:54:24.000 Someone's coming towards us.

01:54:25.000 Oh, let's say hi.

01:54:25.000 Let's signal him.

01:54:26.000 It's a dead guy filled with shit and nuts.

01:54:32.000 And poison tea.

01:54:33.000 And a dope car.

01:54:35.000 That's a fucking awesome looking car, too.

01:54:37.000 Imagine?

01:54:38.000 Send that thing into space?

01:54:39.000 You saw the Tesla Roadster, huh?

01:54:41.000 When that thing comes out...

01:54:43.000 Dude!

01:54:43.000 Oh, no, he didn't bring it here.

01:54:45.000 No, he didn't bring it here.

01:54:46.000 Oh, he didn't?

01:54:46.000 No, it doesn't come out until 2020. Yeah, but I thought he has one.

01:54:49.000 That was his.

01:54:49.000 Yeah, he didn't bring it.

01:54:50.000 That was it.

01:54:51.000 That was his one that he launched into space.

01:54:52.000 Oh, I thought he had another one.

01:54:53.000 I thought he still got one.

01:54:54.000 I'm sure he's got another one.

01:54:55.000 But wait, but right, though, it's the fastest production vehicle ever made, right?

01:54:59.000 Yeah, zero to 60 in 1.9 or 1.6 seconds.

01:55:03.000 I thought it was 1.6.

01:55:04.000 Might be six.

01:55:05.000 Something insane like that.

01:55:06.000 The word should be absurd.

01:55:08.000 It's fucking absurd to go that fast.

01:55:11.000 Have you ever driven a Tesla?

01:55:12.000 Dude, I've been in the PD100, the ludicrous mode.

01:55:16.000 Yeah, it's insane.

01:55:17.000 Too fast.

01:55:18.000 It's weird.

01:55:19.000 I would die in that car.

01:55:20.000 But it's weird how fast it is.

01:55:22.000 It's silly.

01:55:23.000 My car is 510 horses.

01:55:25.000 That's fast.

01:55:26.000 But your car has got that rumble.

01:55:28.000 Oh, well, I love engines, man.

01:55:29.000 I don't think I'll ever give up engines.

01:55:33.000 You know, my buddy said, he goes, it sounds like a fucking boat.

01:55:35.000 I go, it does sound like a boat.

01:55:37.000 When I was a kid, I remember sitting outside on the lake of hearing people's boats.

01:55:41.000 Yeah.

01:55:41.000 I like engines.

01:55:42.000 I've always been an engine guy.

01:55:43.000 Because you're a man's man.

01:55:44.000 I'm a guy, dude.

01:55:45.000 That's why I like you, Santino.

01:55:46.000 I'm a fucking guy.

01:55:46.000 Have another drink.

01:55:47.000 I can't have one.

01:55:48.000 Pour a little more in there.

01:55:48.000 I'm going to have one for you.

01:55:49.000 I'll have one for Joe.

01:55:50.000 Please, have one for me.

01:55:51.000 I've got to do two hours of cardio today.

01:55:52.000 This is for Kreischer and...

01:55:57.000 I should say I love Bert so much.

01:55:58.000 I love everybody in the competition.

01:56:00.000 I just don't like the fact that Bert is on these medications that all his health problems could be completely resolved if he just didn't drink so much.

01:56:09.000 To take medication so that you can drink...

01:56:12.000 That's not good.

01:56:13.000 I had this conversation a long time ago with Anthony Bourdain.

01:56:16.000 He was on statins, and he decided to take statins because he liked to eat.

01:56:21.000 I don't know what that is.

01:56:22.000 Statins are for people that have...

01:56:25.000 Is that high blood pressure or high cholesterol?

01:56:28.000 What is statins for?

01:56:30.000 He had, obviously, he was drinking constantly, and he was traveling constantly, and he wasn't exercising.

01:56:38.000 Cholesterol.

01:56:39.000 High cholesterol.

01:56:39.000 And he had some health issues.

01:56:42.000 Yeah.

01:56:42.000 And so they put him on these statins, and he started doing Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

01:56:47.000 When he started doing Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, he lost a shitload of weight, changed his diet radically, cut back on his drinking, and got off the statins.

01:56:56.000 That's great.

01:56:56.000 But statins have like significant health risks attached to them.

01:57:00.000 It's not as simple as they just lower your cholesterol.

01:57:03.000 They also do a lot of wonky shit to your whole system.

01:57:06.000 To your mental?

01:57:07.000 I don't know about mental, but I know- He trained with Gracie, right?

01:57:11.000 Well, he trained with Henzo Gracie in New York City.

01:57:14.000 Right.

01:57:14.000 Yeah, the Henzo Gracie Academy.

01:57:15.000 I saw a piece on it somewhere.

01:57:16.000 It's one of the best gyms in the world.

01:57:17.000 Wait, I know I'm jumping backwards, but you mentioned something that now clicked into my head.

01:57:21.000 The meat-eater show that your friend does?

01:57:22.000 Yeah, Steve Vanilla.

01:57:24.000 I think there was a clip I just saw online of him using rendering bear fat to cook bear.

01:57:29.000 Yes.

01:57:29.000 I just had watched that.

01:57:30.000 I thought that was fucking amazing, because he was like...

01:57:33.000 I mean, I've never heard of that before, that you can...

01:57:37.000 Boil down the bare fat to use as oil to cook the rest of the meat.

01:57:41.000 Yes.

01:57:42.000 Because he's saying it was so rich that it was almost like you could fry meat in it.

01:57:46.000 He did fry meat in it.

01:57:47.000 Yeah, that was fucking wild.

01:57:49.000 People have been using bare fat for ages for lard to cook pies and He was actually talking about it on a podcast recently, he has a great podcast as well called Meat Eater, same name, and on the podcast they were discussing how fat was used,

01:58:06.000 that's him there, rendering this bear fat.

01:58:10.000 This is a particularly interesting episode because this was all about bears who eat blueberries, so all that fat had a purple tone to it, a purple hue to it, because the bears had been subsisting on blueberries.

01:58:24.000 So they tasted like blueberries.

01:58:26.000 Oh, how good would that fucking be?

01:58:28.000 So this blueberry fat, it's supposed to be fucking incredible.

01:58:31.000 And you render it down and make lard out of it.

01:58:33.000 And that lard is good literally for years.

01:58:35.000 And you use it for cooking and for all kinds of things afterwards.

01:58:38.000 But bear lard, like...

01:58:40.000 I have my good friends John and Jen Rivett who live in Alberta.

01:58:45.000 And they run a bear hunting operation up there.

01:58:48.000 And they eat bear all the time.

01:58:50.000 And they render bear fat...

01:58:52.000 Into these jars of bare lard.

01:58:55.000 I want to have some.

01:58:55.000 And you cook.

01:58:56.000 It's fucking delicious.

01:58:56.000 I'm in Canada next week.

01:58:58.000 Tell them to come see me in Calgary.

01:59:00.000 Oh, that's close to them.

01:59:01.000 I'll tell them to come see you.

01:59:03.000 They're lovely people.

01:59:05.000 I think Alberta is a great country up there, man.

01:59:09.000 People up there are incredible.

01:59:10.000 It's beautiful, man.

01:59:10.000 And some of the nicest folks.

01:59:11.000 Banff is one of the most beautiful places I've ever visited in my life.

01:59:14.000 I've never been to Banff.

01:59:15.000 Banff, the National Forest up there.

01:59:17.000 That's a badass motherfucker.

01:59:17.000 Do a picture of Lake Louise.

01:59:19.000 B-A-M-F is badass motherfucker.

01:59:21.000 B-A-N-F-F Banff?

01:59:23.000 It's not the same thing.

01:59:24.000 No, it's not the same.

01:59:25.000 But it is bad as fuck.

01:59:27.000 It's dope.

01:59:28.000 It's divine.

01:59:29.000 Wait a minute, we don't use negative.

01:59:30.000 It's divine, Joe.

01:59:30.000 We don't use negative.

01:59:32.000 It's divine.

01:59:32.000 Divine.

01:59:33.000 Beautiful.

01:59:33.000 Look at Lake Louise, man.

01:59:34.000 Look at that fucking place, Joe.

01:59:35.000 Whoa.

01:59:36.000 That's in Banff National Forest.

01:59:38.000 God damn.

01:59:39.000 Look at that.

01:59:40.000 Oh, Canada.

01:59:42.000 Is that, there's really a hotel right there on the water?

01:59:44.000 That looks like a fucking disgrace.

01:59:47.000 Doesn't it?

01:59:47.000 That looked like an eyesore.

01:59:49.000 They put a goddamn hotel.

01:59:50.000 Wouldn't they though?

01:59:51.000 People are gross.

01:59:52.000 But how beautiful is that?

01:59:54.000 Look at how fucking gorgeous Lake Louise is.

01:59:56.000 It looks fake.

01:59:57.000 That's what I said the first time I went there.

01:59:58.000 I go, phony.

01:59:59.000 This looks like a guy made it on a studio.

02:00:01.000 Like a girl has like Photoshop.

02:00:03.000 Like when...

02:00:04.000 Right.

02:00:04.000 You ever see girls when they put that filter on their face where they don't even look like a real thing?

02:00:08.000 Like, what are you doing?

02:00:08.000 Why the fucking filter?

02:00:09.000 Why?

02:00:09.000 Who ever invented that?

02:00:11.000 Who are you tricking?

02:00:11.000 You know what's so funny?

02:00:11.000 You know what's even grosser?

02:00:13.000 Guys who use that.

02:00:14.000 Well, come on.

02:00:15.000 Yeah.

02:00:15.000 Nobody I know.

02:00:16.000 I do.

02:00:17.000 I know a guy.

02:00:17.000 Really?

02:00:18.000 Yeah.

02:00:20.000 Selfies with a face filter and you look at it and you're like, what in the fuck am I seeing here?

02:00:24.000 What is this?

02:00:25.000 Is everything okay?

02:00:26.000 What are you doing with your face, man?

02:00:27.000 What would your grandfather say?

02:00:28.000 The fuck happened to your face, bro?

02:00:29.000 I fought in Korea so you could fuck with your face digitally, you pussy.

02:00:32.000 So you turned into a goddamn cartoon.

02:00:35.000 You're animating yourself.

02:00:37.000 But that looks like it's photoshopped.

02:00:39.000 It's so pretty.

02:00:40.000 That was the first time in Alberta that I saw a moose.

02:00:42.000 I'd never seen a moose live before.

02:00:44.000 It's crazy when you see it, right?

02:00:45.000 Until I went there and I was like, holy shit.

02:00:47.000 You're like, what?

02:00:48.000 It's the size of one of those dump trucks in dig sites.

02:00:52.000 You know where the wheels are five feet high?

02:00:54.000 I was like, that's a fucking moose?

02:00:55.000 You gotta get out of here.

02:00:56.000 That's going to fuck me up!

02:00:57.000 That thing runs after you and starts stomping?

02:00:59.000 Yeah, and their strides are like 10 feet long.

02:01:03.000 I just had no idea.

02:01:04.000 I guess as a kid...

02:01:05.000 The only animals like that I saw were either deer or...

02:01:11.000 The only four-legged thing I would see in the wild was deer as a kid in the woods.

02:01:15.000 That's about it.

02:01:15.000 Well, look at this.

02:01:15.000 Look at the elk that's on the wall, right?

02:01:17.000 That's an enormous animal.

02:01:19.000 Yeah.

02:01:19.000 Like, look at the size of the antlers.

02:01:20.000 Yeah, it's huge.

02:01:21.000 A moose is twice that big.

02:01:22.000 Yeah, dwarf.

02:01:23.000 That's get dwarfed by a moose.

02:01:24.000 Twice that big.

02:01:25.000 Yeah.

02:01:26.000 They can be 1,800, 2,000 pounds.

02:01:28.000 The first time I saw buffalo was the same way in Colorado.

02:01:30.000 I'd never seen buffalo.

02:01:31.000 I mean, in Chicago, like, only when you go to the forest preserves or the lakes do you get to see deer, and other than that, you're like, that's it.

02:01:36.000 I mean, there's nothing else in Illinois I'd see.

02:01:38.000 How many people do you think every year get fucked up by a buffalo in Yellowstone?

02:01:44.000 At least a couple.

02:01:45.000 At least a couple idiots get too close.

02:01:49.000 Boston Dynamics just released a new video and it's scary.

02:01:53.000 What?

02:01:54.000 These fucking freaks!

02:01:55.000 Stop freaking us out!

02:01:57.000 They want to kill it.

02:01:57.000 Oh my god.

02:01:59.000 It's jumping over logs.

02:02:00.000 It's got no wires now.

02:02:03.000 Oh my god.

02:02:05.000 It's doing parkour.

02:02:06.000 Hardcore parkour Boston Dynamics.

02:02:08.000 Look at it jump from box to box.

02:02:11.000 Dude, you guys cut it the fuck out.

02:02:13.000 I know a lot of people who couldn't do what that robot just did.

02:02:16.000 What?

02:02:17.000 Most people you know can't do what that robot just did.

02:02:19.000 I would say that's the majority of the country could never do that.

02:02:22.000 That's insane.

02:02:23.000 Play that one more time, yeah.

02:02:25.000 What is the name of the video for people that are just listening to this?

02:02:28.000 Parkour Atlas.

02:02:29.000 Parkour Atlas.

02:02:30.000 Is that the name of the robot, Atlas?

02:02:32.000 That's the one that's going to kill us all.

02:02:33.000 Yep.

02:02:33.000 Look, he's got a battery pack on.

02:02:35.000 Look at him just bouncing around like it's nothing.

02:02:38.000 You know, they released some voice recognition from him, and he was like, I want to murder everyone.

02:02:45.000 Must win.

02:02:46.000 Must stop people coming on eggs.

02:02:49.000 I'm a big fan of Joe Rogan.

02:02:51.000 Joe, I think you're the best.

02:02:52.000 I won't rip your cock off.

02:02:53.000 Aha, aha, aha.

02:02:58.000 Can you imagine that fucking machine face to face with you like, I actually enjoy you as a person.

02:03:03.000 I won't kill you.

02:03:04.000 It's going to happen.

02:03:05.000 Oh, yes.

02:03:05.000 They're gonna keep doing it.

02:03:06.000 We're fucked.

02:03:07.000 When I was doing my cardio yesterday, I was watching Ex Machina.

02:03:12.000 That's a great fucking movie.

02:03:13.000 One of my all-time favorites.

02:03:14.000 It's a great movie.

02:03:15.000 I've literally watched that movie at least five times.

02:03:16.000 It scares me, but I also am in love with it.

02:03:18.000 I love it.

02:03:19.000 But when I'm watching that movie, I'm like, how far away is this?

02:03:22.000 Oh, come on.

02:03:23.000 20 years?

02:03:23.000 It's got to be less.

02:03:24.000 I think 10 years.

02:03:25.000 I think maybe a decade is when we'll have that.

02:03:27.000 But when they look like that, that good?

02:03:30.000 Have you seen some of the fucking molds that they've already had now?

02:03:33.000 Have you ever seen some of these, like, the molds that they can make now to make look real already is scary to me.

02:03:39.000 There's a bunch of people protesting in Houston because they're about to open up the first robot sex brothel.

02:03:44.000 Wow, that's really interesting.

02:03:46.000 I don't think that's going to do much business.

02:03:48.000 Who wants a nut in some robot that somebody else already nutted into?

02:03:51.000 I don't know, dude.

02:03:51.000 I don't know about in the United States, but I think overseas.

02:03:54.000 I think fucking Japanese dudes love that shit.

02:03:56.000 They love coming in robots.

02:03:58.000 We both go to fucking robots.

02:03:59.000 We both go to Japan.

02:04:01.000 How much do you get paid to be the cleaner?

02:04:04.000 The robot cum cleaner?

02:04:07.000 What a bummer gig.

02:04:08.000 It smells like dead fish.

02:04:11.000 Loads.

02:04:13.000 Washout Portal 4. Loads smell like dead fish when they sit in your underwear and steam up.

02:04:18.000 Just hangs out for a while?

02:04:19.000 Yeah.

02:04:19.000 You ever smell them?

02:04:20.000 Oh my god, dude.

02:04:21.000 If you jerk off and you don't clean up, you just let it...

02:04:23.000 Whoa, what is this?

02:04:25.000 Sex brothel in Houston.

02:04:26.000 In Houston, that's the one.

02:04:27.000 Has this actually opened?

02:04:28.000 No, there's still discussion, but this here says that by 2020 it will be in Houston and nine other cities.

02:04:34.000 Now, did that guy make that sex robot or is he gonna fuck it?

02:04:38.000 He made it and he's fucking it.

02:04:40.000 What do you think?

02:04:41.000 If you had a guess.

02:04:42.000 I think for sure that's his wife.

02:04:44.000 Here's the thing about sex robots.

02:04:45.000 Do you think that anybody is gonna make a sex robot that looks like your average gal?

02:04:50.000 No.

02:04:52.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, well, next door, like the next door type of girl.

02:04:54.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, they will.

02:04:55.000 Well, how many of them are going to look like this girl right here?

02:04:58.000 The exaggerated features.

02:04:59.000 90% of them will look like that.

02:05:01.000 At least.

02:05:02.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:05:02.000 Well, girls look like that now anyway.

02:05:04.000 You see girls on the internet, they all look phony as shit.

02:05:06.000 Everyone wants to have the same lips, butt thing.

02:05:09.000 Every girl on the internet now looks phony as shit.

02:05:11.000 No one looks like a chick anymore.

02:05:13.000 But what is the future going to be for, like, when it's not a human and you can do whatever you want with it...

02:05:20.000 That's when you're gonna find out what people really are attracted to.

02:05:23.000 That's exactly right.

02:05:23.000 You're gonna find out the real sexual psychology of humans when we find out that there's no rules with these things.

02:05:28.000 Save all your male feminist nonsense.

02:05:30.000 I just love real women with Birkenstocks.

02:05:32.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:05:33.000 Oh, yeah?

02:05:33.000 What are you fucking when you go to the brothel?

02:05:35.000 What are you ordering up on your Amazon sex robot chart?

02:05:38.000 Do you have a robot that likes chia seeds?

02:05:40.000 Look at that.

02:05:41.000 How weird.

02:05:41.000 What is happening here?

02:05:43.000 So here's my biggest curiosity.

02:05:44.000 Wait a minute.

02:05:45.000 Male?

02:05:45.000 You can fuck a dude?

02:05:46.000 You can fuck one of them.

02:05:48.000 I was gonna get a...

02:05:49.000 I was gonna get a...

02:05:51.000 You know, they have those...

02:05:53.000 What are those?

02:05:54.000 Real dolls.

02:05:55.000 They have male real dolls.

02:05:56.000 I was gonna get a male real doll with no dick and no butthole.

02:06:00.000 No mouth hole either.

02:06:01.000 Just for jujitsu.

02:06:02.000 I was like, listen.

02:06:03.000 Send me one.

02:06:04.000 I don't want anything I can fuck.

02:06:07.000 Hold me fuck up.

02:06:08.000 And they're like, sure, sir, we've heard this before.

02:06:10.000 We're gonna put three buttholes on it for you.

02:06:12.000 We're gonna put a butthole on its side.

02:06:15.000 I'm gonna put a butthole on its forehead.

02:06:20.000 I just don't see a business.

02:06:21.000 I see a business for them creating personal sex robots, for sure.

02:06:26.000 Yeah, but this is a niche, niche market.

02:06:29.000 I gotta tell you, I know this has always been a big hype for the past couple years of sex robots, sex robots, and people are like, well, that's gonna be the end.

02:06:36.000 It's like, no.

02:06:36.000 People are always gonna wanna fuck people.

02:06:38.000 You wanna have reciprocation of something.

02:06:40.000 There's gotta be some kind of reciprocation.

02:06:42.000 Do you wanna fuck a dead thing?

02:06:44.000 You know what also it's like?

02:06:46.000 It's necrophilia, almost.

02:06:47.000 Yeah.

02:06:48.000 Well, yeah.

02:06:49.000 Well, it's also, you know there's no emotions there.

02:06:51.000 It's gonna be like playing a video game on God mode.

02:06:54.000 Right, yeah, it's flawless.

02:06:56.000 Toronto's first sex doll brothel has been open for a year.

02:07:00.000 How are they doing?

02:07:01.000 It's the same company.

02:07:02.000 It's already been open there.

02:07:03.000 But how are they doing?

02:07:03.000 Is it working?

02:07:05.000 That's my curiosity.

02:07:06.000 What's the success rate of a place like this?

02:07:12.000 Why does this gross me out?

02:07:13.000 Kinky Slots?

02:07:14.000 Is that what it's called?

02:07:15.000 Kinky S-Dolls.

02:07:16.000 Oh, I couldn't remember.

02:07:17.000 Kinky S-Dolls.

02:07:18.000 Adults only.

02:07:19.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:07:20.000 Let me get in there.

02:07:21.000 I love that.

02:07:22.000 You have to click.

02:07:23.000 Are you an adult?

02:07:24.000 Yeah, I'm an adult.

02:07:25.000 Sure.

02:07:26.000 Okay.

02:07:27.000 Rent before you buy.

02:07:29.000 Rent before you buy?

02:07:30.000 Ugh.

02:07:32.000 They have a loan out system of fake vaginas?

02:07:35.000 But look how they all look.

02:07:37.000 Like, don't any of them look like a secretary?

02:07:39.000 No.

02:07:40.000 All of them look like some super hoe.

02:07:42.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:07:43.000 Right?

02:07:44.000 Like, isn't there one...

02:07:45.000 Don't they have like a Starbucks barista option on here?

02:07:47.000 Yeah, she's kind of attractive and...

02:07:49.000 She's cute.

02:07:50.000 She's 3,200.

02:07:51.000 Look at her titties.

02:07:52.000 Do you buy body heat or voice?

02:07:54.000 Wait a minute.

02:07:55.000 Is that what it costs to buy?

02:07:56.000 Yeah.

02:07:56.000 3,200.

02:07:57.000 That's only 3,200 bucks?

02:07:59.000 Jamie, get one in here, bub.

02:08:01.000 Let me see what the photos look like.

02:08:03.000 So we can order one?

02:08:05.000 Let's order one.

02:08:05.000 How many people would be furious at us if we had one sitting behind me during the show?

02:08:10.000 You would just cut, and the other camera would cut over there to her?

02:08:13.000 Oh, look at her tits.

02:08:14.000 That's gross.

02:08:15.000 Go to that one where she's lying down.

02:08:16.000 Oh, that looks so fucking weird, dude.

02:08:18.000 The one that you had just before.

02:08:20.000 No, the one with her tits up in the air.

02:08:24.000 These are bizarre photos, man.

02:08:27.000 That one.

02:08:28.000 What?

02:08:29.000 What's that?

02:08:30.000 Stop.

02:08:30.000 Look at how panicked she looks.

02:08:32.000 Look at her fucking eyes.

02:08:33.000 This is awful.

02:08:34.000 Stop fucking me, please.

02:08:36.000 But those boobs are awful.

02:08:37.000 Yeah, that's whack.

02:08:38.000 It's garbage.

02:08:38.000 If you were dating a girl and you really liked her, she just happened to have boobs like that, you'd have to go...

02:08:44.000 Do you want to get those taken out?

02:08:46.000 You want to get a reduction?

02:08:47.000 I'll pay for it.

02:08:48.000 Do you want to be like normal?

02:08:49.000 Yeah, that looks...

02:08:50.000 What does the vagina look like?

02:08:51.000 Do they show it?

02:08:52.000 They don't show it.

02:08:52.000 But look at the waist.

02:08:53.000 Look at how fucked up that is.

02:08:54.000 We'll go back real quick.

02:08:55.000 Sorry.

02:08:55.000 That image of her waist is like...

02:08:57.000 That's like a 12-inch waist.

02:08:59.000 I mean, that's fucking creepy.

02:09:00.000 Yeah, but that's what they want.

02:09:01.000 They want like...

02:09:02.000 Fully exaggerated features.

02:09:04.000 Okay, so going back to what we were talking about, you want to talk about, like, that goes back to the corsets?

02:09:10.000 Yeah, look at her waist.

02:09:11.000 That's weird.

02:09:12.000 That goes back to this creepy psychology of what the figure in men's minds socially that, like, has been pushed out, that you want this hourglass thing and...

02:09:20.000 Do they show you video?

02:09:22.000 I want to see video.

02:09:23.000 That girl looks real.

02:09:24.000 That one down, where it says new, the first new, to the left.

02:09:28.000 That photo kind of looks real right there.

02:09:30.000 Well, the first one did.

02:09:32.000 Yeah, that looked real from far away.

02:09:35.000 That looks crazy real.

02:09:36.000 Wow.

02:09:37.000 If that was a girl's Instagram profile...

02:09:39.000 Yeah, you wouldn't think twice.

02:09:41.000 She has an Instagram page?

02:09:43.000 Oh my god.

02:09:45.000 But then again...

02:09:46.000 How many followers, Jamie?

02:09:47.000 Look at the size of those fake tits.

02:09:49.000 They're so ridiculous.

02:09:51.000 Can you imagine following this?

02:09:52.000 What does your wife say?

02:09:53.000 I saw you followed S dolls.

02:09:55.000 It's not even a person.

02:09:55.000 Stop being so jealous.

02:09:57.000 Go to the upper...

02:09:58.000 Okay, go to the right-hand side.

02:09:59.000 That one with the giant tits.

02:10:01.000 That is so ridiculous.

02:10:02.000 But see, Japanese?

02:10:04.000 They love that shit, dude.

02:10:05.000 I'm so hot.

02:10:08.000 It's so hard.

02:10:09.000 I have battery.

02:10:09.000 I love you, Joe Rogan.

02:10:11.000 Battery inside me.

02:10:12.000 Keep me hot.

02:10:13.000 I'm so hot.

02:10:14.000 Take off my clothes.

02:10:15.000 Why my tit's so big?

02:10:16.000 I can just hear Asian listeners tuning out like, this is just, I can't take this anymore, these fucking assholes.

02:10:20.000 We don't talk like this, assholes.

02:10:25.000 Go to the one in the upper left-hand corner, the top first image of the upper left.

02:10:29.000 Wait, go down.

02:10:30.000 Look at that one right there.

02:10:32.000 Look at that one.

02:10:33.000 What in the fuck, man?

02:10:36.000 Why are they so big?

02:10:39.000 I guess the idea is that the kind of people that are going to buy these are the kind of people that are either addicted to porn or anime porn.

02:10:48.000 I would say it's because they don't get anything ever.

02:10:51.000 Go click on the image one more time, Jamie.

02:10:53.000 Any of them.

02:10:54.000 Any of them.

02:10:55.000 And then click on the likes.

02:10:56.000 14 likes.

02:10:59.000 These fucking weirdos.

02:11:01.000 Yeah, click on one of them guys.

02:11:02.000 Click on Gonzalo there.

02:11:04.000 Roland Ubrich.

02:11:05.000 Yeah.

02:11:06.000 Calling you out, dawg.

02:11:07.000 Calling you out, dawg.

02:11:09.000 We're calling you out, bro.

02:11:10.000 Sorry, bro.

02:11:11.000 Don't be so fucking weird, dude.

02:11:12.000 Why are you liking photos of a fake doll?

02:11:14.000 He's like, yo, that's a good job.

02:11:15.000 Good job.

02:11:16.000 Don't click on these guys.

02:11:17.000 No, yeah, this is gross.

02:11:18.000 This is gonna get gross.

02:11:19.000 Okay, just for us?

02:11:19.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:11:20.000 People don't get to see that, no.

02:11:21.000 But see if there's a video of these things moving.

02:11:24.000 This is what I want to see.

02:11:26.000 I want to see that they're just lying there.

02:11:28.000 I'm thinking that they're inanimate.

02:11:31.000 So these sex robots, when you call them robots, do they move?

02:11:35.000 No, no, no.

02:11:36.000 No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

02:11:37.000 It must.

02:11:38.000 No, they're not called robots.

02:11:39.000 They're called sex dolls.

02:11:40.000 It's a doll.

02:11:41.000 I've heard about a doll, but these are sex robot brothels.

02:11:44.000 This says kinky doll.

02:11:45.000 These are sex dolls.

02:11:46.000 Right, but the ones in Toronto.

02:11:48.000 Oh, in Houston.

02:11:48.000 Didn't it say sex robot?

02:11:49.000 This is the same company, so this is...

02:11:52.000 Yeah, it's just sex dolls.

02:11:53.000 So they don't move.

02:11:54.000 Kinky-esque dolls.

02:11:55.000 They're poseable or something like that, so I don't think they...

02:11:56.000 Oh, they're poseable.

02:11:57.000 Yeah.

02:11:58.000 Ew, what is doing it to her tit?

02:11:59.000 It looks really painful.

02:12:01.000 He's grabbing her.

02:12:02.000 Listen to me.

02:12:02.000 Let me open your mouth.

02:12:04.000 Get this off the fucking screen before I vomit.

02:12:09.000 What are you doing there?

02:12:11.000 Checking to see if the sex robot's contacting you?

02:12:13.000 I just got a text and someone's like, sex doll talk?

02:12:15.000 What the fuck is wrong with you guys?

02:12:17.000 Yeah, exactly.

02:12:19.000 Fuck doll talk?

02:12:19.000 Hey man, we're not the ones that are using it.

02:12:21.000 He's drunk, folks.

02:12:24.000 He's been drinking in my face, taunting me.

02:12:27.000 I'm gonna drink more in front of Rogan, I'm gonna smoke pot, and I'm gonna upset my investors, and I'm gonna get everybody mad.

02:12:34.000 I have 20 days, you motherfuckers.

02:12:36.000 2-0.

02:12:38.000 What we really have to do though, for real, is when it's up, like the party, you have to throw like a fucking huge party.

02:12:43.000 A party?

02:12:44.000 You should throw a party, fucking when Sober October's over.

02:12:46.000 Where?

02:12:47.000 Here.

02:12:47.000 What?

02:12:48.000 Here.

02:12:49.000 Why?

02:12:49.000 For us.

02:12:50.000 Oh.

02:12:51.000 For us.

02:12:52.000 It's a party.

02:12:52.000 Yeah.

02:12:53.000 He's like, this is what I want for food.

02:12:54.000 I want dogs, kielbasa.

02:12:57.000 These following things I would like to enjoy at your party.

02:12:59.000 I like a thick crust pizza.

02:13:01.000 Yeah.

02:13:01.000 Deep dish.

02:13:02.000 Deep dish.

02:13:03.000 Chicago style.

02:13:04.000 Dude, go get me a polo sausage over there from Marco's.

02:13:09.000 I want a polo sausage.

02:13:10.000 Being with you in Chicago was really fun because you could tell you were in your element.

02:13:14.000 Oh, it's so much fun.

02:13:14.000 You were taking deep breaths like...

02:13:17.000 It was wonderful.

02:13:18.000 Fucking Chicago.

02:13:19.000 I love it here.

02:13:19.000 We went to a bar.

02:13:20.000 We got steaks like men.

02:13:22.000 The best part.

02:13:23.000 We walk out of a good steakhouse and this guy of Chicago Blackhawk, who I'm a huge fan of, comes up to Joe and he's like, Joe Rogan.

02:13:30.000 Joe Rogan.

02:13:31.000 And he couldn't believe you were there.

02:13:32.000 And you're like, what's up, man?

02:13:33.000 He's like, what's up, man?

02:13:34.000 I'm a Chicago Blackhawk.

02:13:36.000 You're like, all right.

02:13:37.000 He was like...

02:13:38.000 Cool.

02:13:39.000 And you're like, alright man.

02:13:41.000 You turn to me and you go, who was that guy?

02:13:43.000 I was like, that's a fucking Chicago Blackhawk.

02:13:45.000 And I was like, oh yeah, Joe doesn't give a fuck about hockey.

02:13:48.000 I just don't know.

02:13:49.000 Yeah, I know what I'm saying.

02:13:49.000 You didn't know him.

02:13:50.000 I was nice to the guy.

02:13:51.000 No, you're super nice.

02:13:51.000 But I was like, that's so funny to think that those guys...

02:13:57.000 How he treated you was how people treat him.

02:13:59.000 Do you know what I mean?

02:14:00.000 It was wild to watch how people treat athletes when they're like, bro, you're my favorite.

02:14:04.000 This guy was like, he became a kid again.

02:14:07.000 He was like, oh my god, Joe Rogan's in this restaurant that I fucking love to go to.

02:14:10.000 It was cool to be on the outside of that to watch that happen.

02:14:13.000 Especially because I'm such a Chicago Blackhawk fan.

02:14:15.000 I'm such a sports fan.

02:14:16.000 So it was just so weird to watch an athlete kind of act like people act to them.

02:14:21.000 Do you know what I mean?

02:14:22.000 It was just beautiful.

02:14:23.000 One of the weirdest things that's come out of this podcast is, and again, this is not just for men, the podcast is for whoever the fuck likes it, but Men don't get a whole lot of examples of men that are allowed to just be themselves.

02:14:36.000 Yeah, be guys.

02:14:37.000 Because everybody's worried about getting fired from something.

02:14:40.000 Everybody's worried about saying the wrong thing.

02:14:42.000 When I said that I like that song that that girl sang, I really like it.

02:14:47.000 Yeah, it's a good song.

02:14:48.000 And I think she's got really good points.

02:14:50.000 I'm not saying it so that someone likes me more.

02:14:53.000 I'm saying maybe as men, especially me as a guy with three daughters, I should consider...

02:14:59.000 And we should all consider what it's like to be a girl.

02:15:02.000 And I've talked to girls who've been drugged.

02:15:04.000 I've talked to girls who've had guys creep on them and do creepy shit to them and girls that have been sexually assaulted.

02:15:09.000 I like that.

02:15:10.000 I like that song.

02:15:11.000 I like it.

02:15:12.000 Not that I like sexual assault.

02:15:13.000 I mean, I like that song.

02:15:16.000 This is going to get cut up.

02:15:17.000 I like it.

02:15:18.000 It's going to get edited out of context for sure.

02:15:20.000 I like this woman expressing herself in an artistic way that represents the real threat that women face.

02:15:28.000 And it's also a catchy song.

02:15:29.000 She's got a beautiful voice.

02:15:30.000 And I'm still a man.

02:15:31.000 Yeah, you're still a guy.

02:15:31.000 It's okay.

02:15:32.000 These things are allowed to coexist.

02:15:34.000 You don't somehow or another become some sort of a cuck or a pussy.

02:15:37.000 It doesn't mean that you're a loser.

02:15:41.000 We all know when someone's faking something.

02:15:44.000 Something when they're giving in totally pressure and pretending like Actors use the word wonderful to describe a woman's performance what we were talking about wonderful.

02:15:53.000 We know fake shit We know fake shit.

02:15:55.000 Yeah, it was very good too much goddamn fake shit in this world So one of the more interesting things that's come out of this podcast is because I don't have a person telling me what to do, and I can just be myself.

02:16:07.000 Right.

02:16:08.000 People, like, guys go, oh, this is like hanging out.

02:16:12.000 This is like what it would be if we were just hanging out.

02:16:15.000 But people are listening.

02:16:16.000 Right.

02:16:17.000 But normal things, you don't get to just hang out, because when people are listening, then you gotta tone the language down.

02:16:24.000 What are you gonna say?

02:16:24.000 You can't say things.

02:16:26.000 Don't say...

02:16:26.000 Careful.

02:16:27.000 Don't say...

02:16:28.000 Careful.

02:16:29.000 Don't say that word.

02:16:30.000 You know why?

02:16:30.000 Because there's so much misconstrued nonsense.

02:16:33.000 Because people are allowed to take any opinion that you have because they don't know your full opinion.

02:16:37.000 They don't know a piece of what you think.

02:16:38.000 They don't care.

02:16:39.000 And they just rip that out and throw that into fucking space.

02:16:42.000 It's recreational outrage.

02:16:44.000 They're finding a nice little juicy target like, oh, let's go after it.

02:16:48.000 And it'll be whatever the fuck it is.

02:16:50.000 Whoever's next, whether it's Chris Hardwick or whoever gets called out for something, whether they're guilty or not, who gives a shit?

02:16:57.000 Let's pile onto that motherfucker and ruin their life for a couple of weeks.

02:17:01.000 And this is what's going on in this world.

02:17:03.000 And it's not good for anybody.

02:17:05.000 It's not good for men.

02:17:06.000 It's not good for women?

02:17:06.000 There's only one good piece of it at all.

02:17:09.000 If you're a piece of shit, like Harvey Weinstein, if you're a fucking turd and you rape women, then you're gonna get got and it's good that you got got.

02:17:17.000 But even him, man.

02:17:18.000 Have you seen the new article?

02:17:20.000 I mean, there's a lot of shit.

02:17:21.000 The woman who is accusing him of sexual assault, the DA is talking about throwing it out of court now because they found a computer log.

02:17:31.000 The girl who was accusing Harvey Weinstein, one of them, of actual sexual assault...

02:17:36.000 I'll send it to you, Jamie, so that you can...

02:17:38.000 Pull it up, Jamie.

02:17:40.000 It was on the New York...

02:17:44.000 Post?

02:17:45.000 Page 6. It was on page 6 yesterday.

02:17:48.000 Judge dismisses one...

02:17:49.000 Is that today?

02:17:49.000 Yeah.

02:17:50.000 Okay, so this is.

02:17:51.000 They decided to dismiss it.

02:17:53.000 Because this woman had a...

02:17:57.000 They got a hold of her computer because of her former employer, or a former employee...

02:18:05.000 Who said, look, this is not how this girl described this.

02:18:09.000 Oh, I watched the video.

02:18:11.000 She records a video of them having a conversation, right?

02:18:14.000 I don't think so.

02:18:15.000 This is a different one.

02:18:16.000 This is a girl who gave Harvey Weinstein a blowjob, and she said, look, I'm going to send you the actual thing that I got here, Jamie.

02:18:24.000 Hold on a second.

02:18:24.000 Give me one second.

02:18:29.000 Her former employee was like, this is not what she said.

02:18:34.000 This is not what she said to me.

02:18:36.000 Right.

02:18:37.000 And they were saying that it was in danger of being thrown out, and now it is thrown out.

02:18:42.000 So she lied about what it was.

02:18:46.000 So the judge was like, fuck this shit.

02:18:48.000 Well, they essentially said that this is just...

02:18:53.000 Look, there are actual sexual assault victims.

02:18:57.000 Sure.

02:18:57.000 And then there are people...

02:18:59.000 There's also people, I think, that are crazy.

02:19:02.000 And I think they don't have a real, accurate memory of things that have happened.

02:19:09.000 And so they can paint themselves as a victim and be deceptive about it involuntarily.

02:19:15.000 I think that's entirely possible.

02:19:16.000 Sure.

02:19:17.000 I think there's a certain amount of people that are just delusional and they just don't see things accurately.

02:19:21.000 Did you get the text that I sent you?

02:19:24.000 But I also still know that Harvey Weinstein is a fucking sexual assault.

02:19:29.000 There's just too many women that are saying that he forced himself on them, that he did things to them.

02:19:32.000 I mean, you heard that audio of him with that girl.

02:19:34.000 You heard that audio.

02:19:35.000 Yeah, I heard of it.

02:19:36.000 I didn't actually.

02:19:37.000 Oh man, I listened to it.

02:19:38.000 I saw some of the transcript.

02:19:39.000 But there was also that, so make this bigger so my stupid old eyes can see it.

02:19:44.000 You said old eyes.

02:19:45.000 I need it bigger, too.

02:19:46.000 She accused Weinstein of forcing her to perform oral sex, but a prior employee of Evans turned over personal writings she'd left in the company's computer, which appealed to contradict the grand jury testimony.

02:19:58.000 Wow.

02:19:58.000 The writings indicated it was consensual, friendly.

02:20:01.000 A source told The Post it has caused a split in the Manhattan district attorney's office.

02:20:06.000 Some believe the charges should be dropped, and there's a problem with this complaint.

02:20:09.000 And then it was dropped.

02:20:10.000 Yeah, so it was dropped.

02:20:10.000 Yeah, there you go.

02:20:11.000 Listen...

02:20:14.000 It's hard, man, because you don't want to say, oh, these girls are all lying, because they're not.

02:20:21.000 Of course not.

02:20:22.000 But one of them could be lying.

02:20:23.000 Sure.

02:20:24.000 Yeah, and when one of them's lying, they've got to do what they did and throw that case out.

02:20:29.000 But then he's going to say, look, it's all fabricated.

02:20:33.000 Well, there's people that will be opportunists in the face of a scandal.

02:20:38.000 So there's a scandal where someone has actually legitimately done awful things, and someone is going to stand up and say, he did awful things to me, when really they just fucked the guy because they wanted to advance their career.

02:20:47.000 You're right.

02:20:48.000 I would always argue the majority of people that get involved in this thing...

02:20:54.000 Probably aren't full of shit.

02:20:56.000 There is always going to be people that want to capitalize.

02:21:01.000 There's a real problem.

02:21:03.000 That's just human nature.

02:21:03.000 People do that all the time in every facet.

02:21:05.000 Well, there's people that lied about September 11th, where they were.

02:21:09.000 There's people that lie about everything.

02:21:11.000 Fucking Matt Power.

02:21:13.000 Oh, not Matt Lauer.

02:21:15.000 The other guy.

02:21:15.000 Didn't he do it?

02:21:15.000 Brian Williams.

02:21:16.000 Brian Williams.

02:21:17.000 Sorry.

02:21:17.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:21:17.000 He lied.

02:21:18.000 Well, it wasn't.

02:21:18.000 Just Hillary Clinton lied about it, too.

02:21:20.000 Come on.

02:21:20.000 Remember?

02:21:20.000 Yes.

02:21:21.000 She lied about how bullets were flying by her and people were like, no, no, no.

02:21:24.000 No, no.

02:21:25.000 There's no bullets.

02:21:25.000 Nope.

02:21:26.000 We didn't have you anywhere near bullets.

02:21:27.000 No.

02:21:28.000 Remember that?

02:21:28.000 Wasn't that?

02:21:28.000 There's something about Hillary Clinton lied about being in the middle of a gunfire.

02:21:33.000 Situation?

02:21:34.000 Look, people, they exaggerate, they make things up, and some people are just full of shit.

02:21:40.000 And then there's people that are delusional, and they have a problem with reality.

02:21:44.000 Right.

02:21:44.000 And they might legitimately believe that something awful happened to them.

02:21:47.000 There are people that do things like that.

02:21:50.000 Like, it's not all deceptive.

02:21:52.000 There's people that have legitimate mental issues, and they have paranoid schizophrenia to whatever extent, you know, whether it's...

02:22:00.000 Mild or horrible, but they have a delusional perception of the world around them.

02:22:06.000 They think people are out to get them.

02:22:08.000 Totally.

02:22:08.000 And then those people get caught up in the mix.

02:22:10.000 There's also selective memory, right?

02:22:12.000 There's also manipulation of selective memory.

02:22:15.000 There's a lot of study about people that have convinced themselves that something happened when it really didn't happen.

02:22:19.000 That's a real thing.

02:22:21.000 They really believe.

02:22:21.000 So they're not lying.

02:22:22.000 And they're not lying because in their brain, that is literally what their brain has...

02:22:26.000 Kind of categorized and formulated was that thing did happen.

02:22:30.000 They've told themselves that enough or it's been convinced in their own mind that it did happen.

02:22:34.000 Someone was trying to explain that about OJ. They were saying that OJ has lied so many times about what happened that night that he might, in his own mind, actually believe he didn't do it.

02:22:45.000 That's wild as fuck.

02:22:46.000 Well, the human memory, like Neil deGrasse Tyson was trying to explain this to me, that when you're talking about memory, you are literally talking about the worst form of evidence that we know of.

02:22:58.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:23:00.000 Your memory is, first of all, your memory really is your memory of your memory.

02:23:06.000 It's not even your memory.

02:23:08.000 It's a memory of you recounting what you used to remember and then sort of reestablishing it in your narrative of the past.

02:23:15.000 Right.

02:23:16.000 It's a recounting of a thing you tried to recount.

02:23:20.000 Yeah, like, I'm pretty sure when that girl blew me when I was 16, I did have my ears ringing.

02:23:25.000 Because I remember, like, wow, that's crazy, and it's never happened since.

02:23:28.000 But maybe not.

02:23:29.000 Nah, I'm pretty sure it happened.

02:23:30.000 But probably, yeah.

02:23:31.000 It happened.

02:23:32.000 Yeah, that's what I mean.

02:23:33.000 Here's what I know.

02:23:34.000 She didn't rape me.

02:23:35.000 She didn't punch me in the face and hit me over the head with a frying pan and suck my dick until my ears rang.

02:23:40.000 As far as you know.

02:23:40.000 She didn't do that.

02:23:41.000 It would be funny to see her hit you over the head.

02:23:44.000 You know what would be funny?

02:23:45.000 If my head went to the shape of a frying pan, like those cartoons, and then I had to go...

02:23:49.000 Back to normal.

02:23:53.000 That's how hard I came.

02:23:54.000 My head was in a frying pan.

02:23:59.000 I don't know, man.

02:24:02.000 I'm optimistic.

02:24:03.000 This is what I think about it.

02:24:04.000 When people talk about The divide between men and women, I don't see it that much in real life.

02:24:13.000 I don't see it in my actual interactions.

02:24:14.000 It's on the internet.

02:24:15.000 I see it, yeah.

02:24:16.000 That's the problem with the internet.

02:24:17.000 The internet is just writing things and you're not being there with the person and talking to the person.

02:24:22.000 So you don't know if the people are writing things are reasonable.

02:24:24.000 You don't know if the people are angry.

02:24:27.000 There's no legitimization to the internet anymore because it can come from everyone anywhere at any time.

02:24:34.000 And the problem I have with these growth movements that get crazy is you're like, are they talking to anybody else besides their little internal group?

02:24:43.000 Like, are you talking to anybody other than the people that you know?

02:24:46.000 Because if you're not, you're not getting any sort of outside opinion or sources.

02:24:49.000 You're just listening to people that agree with you already.

02:24:52.000 The echo chamber thing is so annoying to me.

02:24:54.000 It is annoying.

02:24:55.000 We're on the same page.

02:24:56.000 It's like, yeah, stop.

02:24:57.000 That doesn't help any case at all.

02:24:59.000 Are you actually trying to see what the other side is saying?

02:25:03.000 I think...

02:25:04.000 There are some people that do a good job, I don't want to mention names, but there are some people that I follow online that do a great job of trying to have good discourse of right and left.

02:25:14.000 Like Bill O'Reilly.

02:25:15.000 Okay.

02:25:18.000 That was a guy.

02:25:19.000 But I just think there are some people that I like online that do have a good...

02:25:23.000 They fucking balance it out.

02:25:25.000 Yeah.

02:25:25.000 But nowadays, if you balance, like you, you get criticized because you don't stick to one way.

02:25:33.000 Here's what's interesting.

02:25:34.000 By both sides.

02:25:35.000 I try to be very, very balanced, but I lean way more left than I do right.

02:25:40.000 Way more left, but I get way more accused of being someone who favors the right by left people than I do being someone who favors the left by right people.

02:25:55.000 I outwardly espouse left-wing ideas, like universal basic income, gay rights, gay marriage, women's rights.

02:26:03.000 Go down the line.

02:26:05.000 Welfare.

02:26:05.000 Right.

02:26:05.000 Food stamps.

02:26:06.000 I'm supportive of all these things.

02:26:08.000 But I get accused way more of being a right-wing person by people on the left than I do even of being a left-wing person of people on the right when I say I'm left-wing.

02:26:18.000 That's because you don't comply.

02:26:22.000 I don't comply.

02:26:23.000 Yeah, you don't comply.

02:26:24.000 I don't comply.

02:26:24.000 You don't comply.

02:26:25.000 I don't comply.

02:26:26.000 They could suck my dick.

02:26:26.000 But that's my biggest issue with any far-stretching side of a political party.

02:26:32.000 When you don't comply, they fucking get mad.

02:26:35.000 They get mad.

02:26:36.000 Well, that's what we were talking about earlier, that it is a form of fascism.

02:26:39.000 Yes.

02:26:39.000 That they are trying to get you to figure out what they want you to behave like, how they want you to talk.

02:26:46.000 Right.

02:26:47.000 They want you to comply with that and stick to the script.

02:26:50.000 Fit in this box, Joe, or you're not one of us.

02:26:52.000 Stick to the groove.

02:26:53.000 And we won't, bitch.

02:26:55.000 Because we don't do that shit, you fucking bitch.

02:26:59.000 Also because I know you fucks turn on each other.

02:27:01.000 Yeah.

02:27:02.000 Internally, they fucking light each other up.

02:27:04.000 Are you kidding me?

02:27:04.000 No one is ever progressive enough.

02:27:06.000 Nope.

02:27:07.000 When they run out of targets, if the whole world was progressive, they would find people who were less progressive.

02:27:13.000 They would find people who are not willing to suck that...

02:27:17.000 Muslim, queer, gender, non-binary, intersexual, whatever that guy's dick is because he has a penis and you're some sort of a homophobe.

02:27:29.000 They would find a reason.

02:27:31.000 Glamour.

02:27:31.000 They'd find a reason for him.

02:27:33.000 Whatever.

02:27:33.000 For them.

02:27:34.000 She.

02:27:34.000 Them.

02:27:35.000 Zur.

02:27:36.000 But that's what I mean.

02:27:36.000 Yeah.

02:27:37.000 But I've talked about this shit on stage.

02:27:39.000 I'm not going to tell my joke, but...

02:27:40.000 Do it.

02:27:41.000 No, but why can't...

02:27:42.000 Why the labels?

02:27:44.000 Yeah.

02:27:44.000 Why the labels?

02:27:45.000 Just be your own...

02:27:46.000 Because people like to be tribal.

02:27:48.000 Right.

02:27:49.000 But all that does is, that categorizes you.

02:27:52.000 Yes.

02:27:53.000 And then they get mad at category.

02:27:54.000 You are subsecting yourself.

02:27:56.000 I didn't do that.

02:27:58.000 You told me you're the...

02:28:00.000 I don't tell you, Joe, I'm a white, straight male who's Irish and Italian who loves...

02:28:06.000 Feet and doggy style, and I'm also kind of Catholic, but, you know, my mom got a divorce, so I can't be all the way.

02:28:13.000 Don't think that applies to a British, Iraqi, gay, non-binary, and also identifies as Muslim person.

02:28:20.000 I think you're out of your line.

02:28:22.000 I identify as an Irish-Italian straight white male from Chicago.

02:28:28.000 I just think we don't need all these labels.

02:28:30.000 Glamour, you're allowed to be whoever you fucking want to be, and I support the fuck out of who you are always.

02:28:36.000 Do your shit.

02:28:37.000 Well, it's almost always people that don't have a lot of other things going for them.

02:28:40.000 Yeah, because you have to.

02:28:42.000 Do you think Stephen Hawking's identified as a British?

02:28:45.000 He's identified as a dead guy now.

02:28:47.000 When he was alive.

02:28:48.000 Yeah.

02:28:48.000 Brilliant British physicist slash heterosexual atheist.

02:28:53.000 A heterosexual atheist who, by the way, was riddled with infidelity.

02:29:00.000 I've never met a guy so not capable of cheating and found a way to cheat on his wife.

02:29:05.000 Well, apparently he could still get it up.

02:29:07.000 Well, apparently, even though his body didn't move, he still could feel things.

02:29:12.000 That was the scientist.

02:29:13.000 Well, he used to go to...

02:29:15.000 Eric Weinstein told me about this.

02:29:17.000 I was like, what?

02:29:18.000 He's like, yeah, he's a freak.

02:29:19.000 And I was like, wait, what?

02:29:20.000 And he's like, yeah, he used to go to strip clubs, and there's videos of him rolling into a strip club in a wheelchair.

02:29:26.000 That was his thing.

02:29:28.000 Where'd you get littered with infidelity?

02:29:30.000 Where'd you hear that?

02:29:31.000 He cheated on his wife all the time.

02:29:33.000 Really?

02:29:34.000 In that fucking movie, the whole reason that he...

02:29:37.000 Well, I mean, the whole reason that he left his wife was because he fell in love with somebody else, but...

02:29:40.000 Wasn't it like a nurse that was taken care of him?

02:29:42.000 Yeah, but the truth was that he was...

02:29:43.000 It's like, this bitch won't even wash my balls.

02:29:44.000 The nurse is washing my balls every day.

02:29:46.000 But if you Google...

02:29:47.000 If you Google Stephen Hawking, he was a...

02:29:50.000 Look at him.

02:29:51.000 He was always fucking around.

02:29:53.000 Look at him.

02:29:54.000 Come on, man.

02:29:54.000 He was always fucking around.

02:29:57.000 Once he got a taste of the good life.

02:29:59.000 Oh, he had that cash.

02:30:01.000 Yeah, man.

02:30:02.000 He had that cosmology cash.

02:30:04.000 Yeah.

02:30:05.000 You know what?

02:30:06.000 Also, he's probably like, listen, I am not going to play by the rules.

02:30:10.000 The world dealt me the shittiest goddamn hand.

02:30:13.000 I'm a super genius.

02:30:14.000 Please.

02:30:15.000 And you know what?

02:30:16.000 I fucking agree.

02:30:17.000 Do whatever the fuck you want to do.

02:30:18.000 Hey, you want to leave me?

02:30:20.000 Listen, you should leave me.

02:30:21.000 Why would you only fuck me?

02:30:23.000 Yeah.

02:30:24.000 I'm...

02:30:25.000 I'm barely here.

02:30:26.000 I'm a machine now.

02:30:27.000 I use this finger to talk.

02:30:30.000 No, at some point it was his eyes and his fucking mouth at some point.

02:30:34.000 He couldn't even use his hands.

02:30:35.000 It was just his eyes, right?

02:30:36.000 Yeah, wasn't it his eyes?

02:30:36.000 Didn't he have a thing where he could kind of click?

02:30:39.000 He would look at something, too.

02:30:41.000 He had a thing where it was technology.

02:30:42.000 This is the way that I talk.

02:30:45.000 He would look at shit.

02:30:46.000 I want to see your asshole.

02:30:49.000 Can you sit on my face, face, face?

02:30:51.000 Don't kill me, though.

02:30:53.000 Malfunctioning.

02:30:53.000 I have to figure out the universe.

02:30:56.000 Don't smother me with your pussy.

02:30:58.000 I need to figure out how stars work.

02:31:02.000 Are black holes real?

02:31:04.000 Or is it just a brown star?

02:31:06.000 I don't want to drown in your pussy.

02:31:08.000 I'm still on the subject of dark matter.

02:31:10.000 I'm trying to figure out the universe before I nut in my pants.

02:31:14.000 That's one of the strippers that he hooked up with was called dark matter.

02:31:20.000 I'm trying to figure out dark matter.

02:31:22.000 Dark matter.

02:31:23.000 I could see her with a big old fur coat.

02:31:24.000 Hell yeah.

02:31:25.000 Long nails.

02:31:25.000 I thought you were going to say a big old fur bush.

02:31:27.000 She has a text message with a pencil because her nails are too long.

02:31:32.000 Her nails are too long.

02:31:32.000 She can't text.

02:31:33.000 That's dark matter.

02:31:37.000 Is that possible that you could grow your fingernails?

02:31:41.000 Girls with long nails, they probably have a terrible time texting.

02:31:43.000 Well, they try to touch with their finger.

02:31:45.000 Right, but if you had crazy-ass long nails, you'd be like...

02:31:48.000 You voice text.

02:31:49.000 Oh, of course.

02:31:50.000 Voice text the whole time.

02:31:51.000 But then you've got to use your nose...

02:31:53.000 Just to get to the fucking microphone.

02:31:55.000 To get to the microphone thing.

02:31:56.000 That's what I was just reading about how this shit worked.

02:31:58.000 He had infrared sensors on his glasses.

02:32:01.000 See?

02:32:01.000 That's what I'm saying.

02:32:02.000 It was on his eyeballs.

02:32:03.000 He sensed movements in his cheek, which then translated into a software program that allowed him to navigate his system without his hands, and then eventually turned into his text-to-speech.

02:32:13.000 I just want to fuck.

02:32:14.000 Can someone fuck fuck fuck?

02:32:16.000 Text-to-speak functionality which takes text and he writes and turns into speech in his iconic voice.

02:32:22.000 Yeah, he apparently he liked that voice and didn't want to upgrade it because like Siri like if you talk to Siri like who do you do you have a specific kind of Siri like my Siri is an Australian lady like hey Siri What's cracking bitch?

02:32:42.000 I don't know how to respond to that.

02:32:45.000 Okay.

02:32:46.000 She doesn't know how to respond to that.

02:32:47.000 Hey, Siri.

02:32:48.000 But that's how I have.

02:32:49.000 I have a...

02:32:50.000 Do you love me?

02:32:52.000 Didn't she?

02:32:53.000 Would you like me to search the web for love?

02:32:56.000 I think it's the same one.

02:32:58.000 It's British.

02:32:58.000 I think we have the same one.

02:32:59.000 I used to have an Australian lady.

02:33:00.000 They swapped me out.

02:33:01.000 Maybe they don't like Australia.

02:33:03.000 The new upgrade.

02:33:05.000 He got his voice in 2004. He's like, good enough.

02:33:08.000 Stick with it.

02:33:09.000 This is how I talk.

02:33:11.000 I will always be this.

02:33:13.000 I am a robot man.

02:33:15.000 It would be funny if you heard his voice.

02:33:16.000 He was like, yo, what's up?

02:33:18.000 It's Stephen Hawking.

02:33:19.000 It's real hardcore.

02:33:20.000 If he had like a super ghetto voice.

02:33:22.000 Yo, what's up?

02:33:23.000 Yo, what's up?

02:33:23.000 It's Hawkey G up in this bitch.

02:33:27.000 Figuring out this motherfucking universe we live in.

02:33:29.000 SH and this motherfucker.

02:33:30.000 What's up with this dark matter?

02:33:31.000 I'm out here drinking Hennessy and Coke trying to find out what the fuck is happening with Black Matter, G. What?

02:33:37.000 Black Matter, that's his alter ego, Black Matter.

02:33:39.000 That would be a great stripper name.

02:33:42.000 Google stripper Black Matter.

02:33:45.000 Stripper Black Matter.

02:33:45.000 She's gotta exist.

02:33:47.000 She does.

02:33:47.000 Or porn star.

02:33:49.000 First start with stripper, Black Matter.

02:33:50.000 Oh, that's funny.

02:33:51.000 That might be a better porn star name than stripper name, Black Matter.

02:33:53.000 Yeah.

02:33:54.000 Yeah.

02:33:54.000 That would be hot, actually.

02:33:55.000 There used to be a...

02:33:57.000 Oh, no, Dark Matter.

02:33:58.000 Dark Matter.

02:33:58.000 Oh, Dark Matter, sorry.

02:33:59.000 Not Black Matter.

02:34:00.000 Black matters.

02:34:01.000 Black lives matter.

02:34:02.000 I can't wait till the internet lights that up.

02:34:04.000 You piece of shit, fucking racist.

02:34:05.000 Fucking racist piece of shit.

02:34:07.000 Red-headed guy with a skinhead.

02:34:09.000 Skinhead.

02:34:12.000 It never ends.

02:34:13.000 Redhead skinhead.

02:34:14.000 Did you find an exotic dancer named Dark Matter?

02:34:17.000 No.

02:34:17.000 What?

02:34:18.000 God, if there's any exotic dancers that are listening right now.

02:34:20.000 Just keep it on the DL down at Spearman Rhino.

02:34:22.000 Trying to keep it on a sneak tip.

02:34:23.000 At the Rhino.

02:34:24.000 Probably not even.

02:34:25.000 Probably one of them Atlanta strip clubs.

02:34:26.000 One of them dark black ones.

02:34:28.000 What's it called?

02:34:28.000 Like Lil Wayne would go and throw money in the air.

02:34:30.000 Yeah, what's the most popular one in Atlanta?

02:34:32.000 Jamie knows.

02:34:32.000 You're in the black culture.

02:34:34.000 You know about black Twitter.

02:34:35.000 You're black Twitter, Jamie.

02:34:36.000 Jamie will tell us.

02:34:40.000 It's a real famous one, right?

02:34:42.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:34:42.000 Yeah, there's like famous ones where people get shot.

02:34:44.000 Atlanta, it's like the most famous one.

02:34:45.000 They always have gunfights there and shit.

02:34:48.000 Magic City?

02:34:49.000 Magic City.

02:34:50.000 That's the most famous one in Atlanta.

02:34:51.000 That's the big one.

02:34:52.000 That's like the one.

02:34:53.000 Yeah.

02:34:53.000 Dark.

02:34:54.000 Ladies and gentlemen, come to the stage.

02:34:55.000 Dark Matter.

02:34:57.000 Here at Magic City.

02:34:58.000 Welcome to Magic City.

02:35:00.000 Oh, shit.

02:35:01.000 Shop.

02:35:02.000 Shop.

02:35:02.000 Let's see, what do they have?

02:35:03.000 They have gear?

02:35:04.000 Look at Photos.

02:35:05.000 That Photos was one of the thuggiest looking.

02:35:07.000 The guy had a flat brimmed hat on.

02:35:10.000 Go to Photos.

02:35:11.000 Look at that.

02:35:12.000 Is this where you want to go?

02:35:14.000 Whoa.

02:35:15.000 Damn.

02:35:16.000 Okay, we gotta go.

02:35:17.000 Is that Dark Matter?

02:35:18.000 Dark Matter's the third one with the butt.

02:35:22.000 Jesus.

02:35:23.000 Far right.

02:35:24.000 Far right.

02:35:25.000 That's Dark Matter.

02:35:26.000 That's our girl.

02:35:27.000 Kapow!

02:35:28.000 Wait, what the fuck?

02:35:29.000 This is just like photos of the night.

02:35:31.000 Oh!

02:35:33.000 This is what was going on on January 12th.

02:35:36.000 Look at the dude with the fucking hood.

02:35:37.000 This is what was going on January 12th.

02:35:39.000 Is that Snoop Dogg?

02:35:40.000 Who's the guy with the white hood?

02:35:41.000 No.

02:35:42.000 Some fake Snoop Dogg.

02:35:43.000 Look at him.

02:35:44.000 Thuggish.

02:35:45.000 These are thuggish-looking...

02:35:46.000 Oh, he's got a...

02:35:46.000 Look at...

02:35:47.000 Whenever you've got people that are standing there with fanning out $100 bills, like...

02:35:52.000 And just drinking Fiji water?

02:35:54.000 Yeah, that's not my place.

02:35:56.000 Oh, look at my butt!

02:35:59.000 Yeah.

02:36:00.000 I like all these girls.

02:36:01.000 Dark Matter to the main stage.

02:36:03.000 Dark Matter.

02:36:04.000 Ladies and gentlemen, Dark Matter!

02:36:07.000 Yeah.

02:36:08.000 Who do you think was the first guy that came up with the strip club DJ voice?

02:36:12.000 I don't know, but that motherfucker has permeated the entire culture.

02:36:15.000 You can't hear that.

02:36:16.000 You know a strip club DJ. Mercedes to the main stage.

02:36:19.000 Mercedes, come to the main stage.

02:36:21.000 Rain, ladies and gentlemen, it's River.

02:36:24.000 How about a nice round of applause for Lexus?

02:36:28.000 How about a nice round of applause for Kia Sorento?

02:36:34.000 It's weird how things like that happen, like top 40 DJ voice, very similar.

02:36:38.000 It's a similar voice.

02:36:39.000 Always.

02:36:40.000 But that's a weird thing.

02:36:43.000 How did broadcast...

02:36:44.000 Well, because I did broadcast journalism in college, and they teach you that.

02:36:48.000 They teach you broadcast voice.

02:36:49.000 Well, I mean, they kind of teach you about intonation.

02:36:51.000 So I think people get so stuck in that that they learn it, and it...

02:36:54.000 Like this, like WBBMWKQX959, it's the moose on the radio this morning with Joe Rogan Traffic at 9 from Lisa.

02:37:04.000 Guys, today, it's the same rhythm.

02:37:06.000 They all have the exact same rhythm.

02:37:08.000 And I think it's just because it was learned, and then they hear other people do it, and it's just such a monkey, hear monkey do.

02:37:15.000 Right.

02:37:15.000 There's a comfort level in imitating it.

02:37:17.000 Well, because it's rhythmic.

02:37:19.000 It really is.

02:37:20.000 I mean, truly, when they teach you in school, they teach you about the rhythm of the voice.

02:37:23.000 What do they teach you?

02:37:24.000 Well, they teach you that there's rhythmic waves to...

02:37:27.000 It's the exact same thing that happens on-air journalism.

02:37:29.000 Like local news, it's the same way when someone goes...

02:37:32.000 And on 95th Street, that's where it all went down.

02:37:35.000 They teach you about rhythmic waves to lead into the next piece.

02:37:39.000 They say it teaches the listener or the watcher to be prepared for the next thing.

02:37:46.000 It's almost like a...

02:37:47.000 What are you laughing at?

02:37:49.000 I went on the dark matter search a little farther.

02:37:54.000 I'm in real serious journalism talk.

02:37:56.000 I'm sorry.

02:37:57.000 Go ahead.

02:37:57.000 What do you got?

02:37:58.000 No, my shit's bullshit.

02:37:59.000 Give me what you really got.

02:38:00.000 There's apparently a porn star named Dark Matter.

02:38:02.000 Oh, yeah.

02:38:03.000 Where is she?

02:38:03.000 Yeah, they just teach you about rhythms because it's easy for the listener to hear in the morning to hear people go...

02:38:10.000 Is that Dark Matter?

02:38:14.000 I think so.

02:38:15.000 There's also a featuring Dark Matter.

02:38:17.000 Is that a girl's name?

02:38:18.000 It might be a guy.

02:38:18.000 I'm not sure.

02:38:19.000 Look at Pornhub is just falling apart on us.

02:38:21.000 Like a bunch of parody.

02:38:23.000 Okay.

02:38:24.000 Dark matter.

02:38:25.000 There's a thing that people do.

02:38:27.000 Jamie was on the phone once, getting some tech information from this lady.

02:38:30.000 Sounds right.

02:38:31.000 And he put her on speakerphone while he was typing.

02:38:33.000 And she had the most annoying...

02:38:37.000 You know that thing that people do?

02:38:38.000 It's called uptalk?

02:38:39.000 Oh yeah, uptalk is so annoying.

02:38:41.000 Tech talk.

02:38:42.000 Yes.

02:38:42.000 There's a way that they talk that lets you know that they're in...

02:38:47.000 It's like a very left-wing, technologically savvy way of talking.

02:38:53.000 Upslope tech.

02:38:54.000 Yeah, talk.

02:38:54.000 But it's all tech people.

02:38:56.000 Yeah.

02:38:56.000 But it becomes an accent.

02:38:58.000 Like, if it was from Georgia or something like that, it would be a recognizable accent.

02:39:02.000 Yeah.

02:39:02.000 Like, oh, that's how they talk in Maryland.

02:39:04.000 You know what I mean?

02:39:05.000 Right, right, right.

02:39:05.000 Like, you ever talk to someone from Baltimore?

02:39:07.000 Baltimore.

02:39:08.000 Baltimore.

02:39:08.000 You know Ryan Sickler?

02:39:10.000 Yeah, Sickler.

02:39:11.000 He says Baltimore.

02:39:12.000 Baltimore.

02:39:12.000 Tuesday.

02:39:13.000 Tuesday.

02:39:14.000 Tuesday.

02:39:16.000 Yeah, my friend John Rollo.

02:39:17.000 Shout out to John Rollo.

02:39:18.000 He's from Baltimore.

02:39:19.000 They have that same kind of...

02:39:20.000 It's a very...

02:39:21.000 Boston...

02:39:22.000 Very recognizable accent.

02:39:23.000 Yeah, Boston's got that fucking angle.

02:39:26.000 Uptalk is a recognizable way of talking that lets you know that I'm going to agree with everything that is in the zeitgeist of left-wing progressive technology.

02:39:38.000 Is it in the cloud?

02:39:40.000 It's in the cloud.

02:39:41.000 You know who does that the best?

02:39:42.000 Fred Armisen, I think, does that the best.

02:39:43.000 Armisen knows how to like...

02:39:44.000 Fred Armisen.

02:39:45.000 You know, from Portlandia.

02:39:47.000 Oh, okay.

02:39:48.000 What is she doing?

02:39:48.000 She's talking about Uptalk.

02:39:49.000 Let me hear her.

02:39:51.000 It doesn't bother me that much unless they do it a lot and it gets really annoying.

02:39:56.000 Up talking is Connie Chung.

02:40:00.000 That's supermodel Cindy Crawford.

02:40:02.000 She's going to do it again.

02:40:05.000 The popular term for it is up talking.

02:40:08.000 But you don't have to be a fashion model or a teenager to up-talk.

02:40:12.000 I came to Ikea because...

02:40:14.000 You can hear it on commercials.

02:40:15.000 I mean, it's kind of self-serve.

02:40:17.000 Or even coming out of the mouth of a doctor on the president's healthcare task force.

02:40:21.000 Because I see the problem from a different point of view.

02:40:24.000 She came up to the table and said, my name is Belinda.

02:40:27.000 Dr. Cynthia McLemore is a linguist in Philadelphia who's worked extensively on...

02:40:32.000 Alright, this is from 94. That's how fucking old this is.

02:40:34.000 This is interesting.

02:40:35.000 Yeah.

02:40:37.000 Intonation, man.

02:40:37.000 Well, it's way more exaggerated now.

02:40:39.000 It's interesting what they were talking about in 94. Some of the officers would make announcements and say, pledges, I need your forms.

02:40:47.000 It's not a request for a direct response, but for attention, which is a kind of response.

02:40:51.000 People may think that uptalk conveys uncertainty, but Dr. McLemore says it can be used in a number of specific ways.

02:40:59.000 You can use the rise to convey uncertainty.

02:41:01.000 You can use the rise to hold the floor.

02:41:02.000 You can use the rise to convey, do you understand what I'm saying or do you hear me or do you agree with me or do you approve of me?

02:41:10.000 That's very interesting hearing a linguist describe what it is.

02:41:13.000 It's been adopted.

02:41:15.000 See if you can google tech talk up talk.

02:41:18.000 That's what I was looking for.

02:41:20.000 Because it's way more exaggerated now.

02:41:24.000 You know who I'm talking about, the woman that was talking to you on the phone?

02:41:26.000 How crazy was she?

02:41:27.000 It was weird.

02:41:29.000 The way she was talking.

02:41:32.000 Bizarre.

02:41:33.000 Jamie?

02:41:33.000 Bizarre.

02:41:34.000 Are you working on Behringer X and his 216?

02:41:38.000 Is that it?

02:41:38.000 I felt like we were in a sketch.

02:41:40.000 Like when she was talking to him.

02:41:42.000 Plus she had no answers for him.

02:41:44.000 So she was like bullshitting him?

02:41:46.000 Well, that's to placate to pass time.

02:41:49.000 That's like anybody in that tech world.

02:41:51.000 Anyone that's helping you with any sort of troubleshooting, I find that too when I do that with Apple.

02:41:56.000 When I text them about issues, everything is like this weird placating...

02:42:00.000 Oh, I can't believe you're having that problem.

02:42:02.000 Well, let's just figure it out.

02:42:03.000 It's almost like this, like, patting you on the head, like, subservient, like...

02:42:07.000 Yeah.

02:42:08.000 Are you okay in your pod?

02:42:09.000 Do you need more food in your pod?

02:42:11.000 Oh, so you know how we're having that issue with the Sonos player?

02:42:15.000 It's all Apple.

02:42:17.000 All Apple.

02:42:18.000 Apple has a sneaky...

02:42:20.000 You know, the Sonos thing works...

02:42:23.000 Flawlessly with the Apple Music service that you pay for.

02:42:26.000 Yep.

02:42:27.000 Flawlessly.

02:42:28.000 Spotify?

02:42:28.000 But when you try to get the shit right off your phone, that's one of the problems.

02:42:31.000 So they've done some sneaky shit that forces you into using their subscription service.

02:42:38.000 Sure.

02:42:38.000 So they've hijacked Sonos.

02:42:40.000 They've done some shit where they've inserted a little fuck you into the code.

02:42:45.000 Apple dick.

02:42:45.000 A little bit of apple dick.

02:42:49.000 Did they make it work better with their HomePod speaker?

02:42:51.000 Of course.

02:42:52.000 Probably.

02:42:53.000 100%.

02:42:53.000 Come on.

02:42:54.000 It's a much better alternative.

02:42:56.000 What we suggest is that you switch over to HomePod, and that way we can listen to everything you say all the time.

02:43:04.000 We're listening in, even when you mute us.

02:43:06.000 Google just released a new one.

02:43:08.000 They released a Pixel 3 with a new speaker dock motherfucker of a thing that...

02:43:14.000 The new update on Spotify has a built-in thing so you can ask for a song to be played because it's not probably built into Siri or Android.

02:43:26.000 But you have to allow the microphone to be on.

02:43:28.000 Of course.

02:43:29.000 It's not a big issue.

02:43:30.000 It's not like we want to listen to you jerk off.

02:43:32.000 Did you allow the microphone to be on?

02:43:35.000 Why is there a piece of tape over the camera?

02:43:37.000 We'd like to see your cock.

02:43:38.000 We'd like to see you on the webcam.

02:43:40.000 I want to see your cock.

02:43:41.000 It's only the back of your dick.

02:43:42.000 It's not even the front because the front's facing you.

02:43:45.000 What's the big deal?

02:43:45.000 I took the phone under my cock.

02:43:47.000 So I see your balls.

02:43:49.000 What's the big deal if I see your balls?

02:43:51.000 Yeah, that's what I do.

02:43:52.000 I put the camera right under my sack.

02:43:54.000 Yeah, I rest my nuts.

02:43:56.000 I rest my sack on the camera and look down at whatever I'm beating off at.

02:44:00.000 So if you see anything, you see a red screen of my ball skin.

02:44:05.000 My nuts.

02:44:07.000 Like when you put your balls, like when you draped your balls like over like a light bulb.

02:44:12.000 Yeah, it's bright red.

02:44:14.000 That's what they see when they look through my lens, motherfuckers.

02:44:18.000 Look ahead.

02:44:19.000 Look ahead.

02:44:20.000 Look ahead.

02:44:21.000 Go ahead.

02:44:22.000 That knife is very fun to play with, right?

02:44:24.000 I love it, dude.

02:44:25.000 Big old beefy knife.

02:44:27.000 I'm going to stab something.

02:44:28.000 Let's wrap this bitch up.

02:44:29.000 Mr. Santino, let these motherfuckers know what you're doing.

02:44:32.000 You goddamn hilarious comedy.

02:44:33.000 Come see my hilarious comedy.

02:44:34.000 We had some fun dates on the road, bro.

02:44:35.000 We had some fun fucking dates.

02:44:36.000 We had so much fun.

02:44:36.000 We got to go in the next year.

02:44:38.000 I hope we're going back out.

02:44:39.000 I need to write a whole new act.

02:44:40.000 I have 25 minutes right now.

02:44:41.000 Hurry up.

02:44:42.000 25 minutes.

02:44:43.000 I'm trying.

02:44:43.000 I wrote all night last night.

02:44:44.000 I got home half to the store.

02:44:46.000 I did a lot of writing.

02:44:47.000 Yeah?

02:44:47.000 I got almost nothing out of it.

02:44:49.000 I won't talk about anything, but you worked.

02:44:51.000 There was a few new things that you had that I saw.

02:44:53.000 I got some new shit.

02:44:54.000 Yeah, last night.

02:44:54.000 It was really good.

02:44:55.000 I'm swinging.

02:44:56.000 Swanging for the fence!

02:44:57.000 Don't come see me looking for gems, though.

02:44:59.000 Come see me looking for some fake gems.

02:45:03.000 I'm in Calgary.

02:45:05.000 I'm in Calgary next week and then in New York at Caroline's on Broadway the following week.

02:45:10.000 Love that place.

02:45:11.000 Check me out.

02:45:11.000 AndrewSantino.com.

02:45:13.000 CheetoSantino on all them platforms.

02:45:14.000 Woo!

02:45:15.000 All right, fuckers.

02:45:16.000 See ya.

02:45:17.000 Boop!

02:45:20.000 What time is Roseanne?

The Joe Rogan Experience - October 11, 2018

Joe Rogan Experience #1183 - Andrew Santino

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