The Joe Rogan Experience - October 11, 2018


Joe Rogan Experience #1184 - Roseanne Barr


Episode Stats

Length

2 hours and 12 minutes

Words per Minute

174.90465

Word Count

23,239

Sentence Count

2,476

Misogynist Sentences

84

Hate Speech Sentences

57


Summary

On today's episode, we have a special guest on the show, Jillian Manus. She's a mom, a wife, a grandmother, an aunt, a sister, a friend, a daughter, and a daughter-in-law. She talks about how to raise a decent son. She also talks about her struggles with smoking and how she's trying to get her life back on track. We also talk about Taylor Swift and her new album, her new music video for her new song, and how much she really loves Taylor Swift. We also get into the controversy surrounding the death of Kobe Bryant and his daughter, Kobe Bryant's new album and how they should have handled it better. And of course, we get to hear from Roseanne's mom, Jullie Manus, about how she raised her son and how he's doing great and how her and her husband are raising a good, functional son. We end the show with a little bit of news and gossip, and we end it with some rants about the latest in pop culture and pop culture. Enjoy! . . . and don't forget to leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts! Thank you so much for listening and reviewing! Love ya, bye! XOXO, EJ & Jon! Jon & Sarah -Jon & Sarah xoxo . Jon and Sarah xo Sarah x Jon & Sarah XO , Sarah X ( ) Joe Tim and Cheers, Love you, Jon & Jon . , :) -Jon ! Mike Caitlyn Thank You, Sarah , Sarah & John AND ? J. & Michael And so much more! -S. -J. and Sarah - !! BONUS CONTENT: Thanks Jon - Jon , and so much love, J.A. , J. & J.S. ( ) - J. B. AND J. TAYLOR ... PODCAST: -JANICE, , SORRY FOR ALL THE MOST LOVED THIS EPISODE OF THE EPISODES WE HAVE NOTHING YA'S MENTIONED IN THE SHOW!


Transcript

00:00:00.000 I mean, very few people could ever imagine.
00:00:02.000 Here we go.
00:00:03.000 I have to start smoking.
00:00:04.000 Four, three, two, one.
00:00:06.000 Boom.
00:00:07.000 And we're live.
00:00:07.000 Saddle on up to that microphone, young lady.
00:00:10.000 How are you?
00:00:11.000 I'm good.
00:00:12.000 How are you, Jill?
00:00:12.000 Great to see you.
00:00:13.000 Always.
00:00:13.000 It's so great to see you, too.
00:00:14.000 And thanks for saying hi to my sons.
00:00:17.000 Your sons are great.
00:00:18.000 Fucking A they are, man.
00:00:20.000 And that's what I figure is my next step in the tale.
00:00:24.000 My next chapter as, what's her name?
00:00:28.000 The girl that everyone loves.
00:00:30.000 The girl, the singer.
00:00:31.000 She's real tall and skinny.
00:00:32.000 Taylor Swift?
00:00:33.000 Yeah, I can't remember anybody's name anymore.
00:00:35.000 There's so many people to remember.
00:00:37.000 Yeah.
00:00:38.000 Well, she said she's on to her next chapter.
00:00:41.000 And that's how I feel, too.
00:00:44.000 And it's going to be about how, talking to women about how to raise functional sons.
00:00:50.000 This is needed in America, and I'm going to step up and do it.
00:00:54.000 Because all these tales, with all the news and such, it's obvious to me, these women have not raised their sons correctly, and I'm going to correct them.
00:01:05.000 Because I'm tired of them yapping and fucking bitching and moaning.
00:01:09.000 I'm old.
00:01:10.000 I'm going to tell you what to do to raise decent sons, women.
00:01:14.000 Well, your son said something when they were doing the little tour of the studio.
00:01:17.000 They saw the picture of Rosa Parks.
00:01:20.000 And your son said, that's Rosa Parks.
00:01:22.000 And I said, you're one of the few people that ever just pointed that out and noticed it.
00:01:26.000 And he goes, of course.
00:01:27.000 He goes, Roseanne's my mom.
00:01:28.000 She raised me right.
00:01:30.000 Oh, that's sweet.
00:01:31.000 Isn't that sweet?
00:01:32.000 That's getting the, what do you call it?
00:01:37.000 What did they call it?
00:01:38.000 I don't know.
00:01:38.000 Pat on the back.
00:01:39.000 Yeah, it is a pat on the back.
00:01:40.000 What's the modern vernacular?
00:01:42.000 I don't know.
00:01:42.000 There's some slang.
00:01:43.000 I hear them.
00:01:44.000 Well, it's correct.
00:01:44.000 I try to stay hip, but I can't fucking do it.
00:01:47.000 Well, you obviously did a great job.
00:01:49.000 Shout out.
00:01:49.000 It's a shout out.
00:01:50.000 Yes.
00:01:51.000 He gave you a shout out.
00:01:52.000 Shout out to the moms.
00:01:54.000 How are you holding up?
00:01:54.000 Everything good with you right now?
00:01:56.000 Well, I'm smoking like a bitch.
00:01:58.000 How often do you smoke?
00:02:00.000 Every day.
00:02:01.000 Were you smoking before all this happened?
00:02:02.000 Oh, hell no.
00:02:04.000 Well, secretly.
00:02:05.000 Secretly.
00:02:05.000 Doug Stanhope got me back on the bastard.
00:02:08.000 You son of a bitch.
00:02:09.000 I quit for like 15 years and Doug Stanhope snuck.
00:02:13.000 Every time I see Doug, I'd smoke one.
00:02:15.000 That bastard.
00:02:17.000 He's got an evil spell on me.
00:02:19.000 Oh, he's an evil little man.
00:02:21.000 He's sober right now.
00:02:22.000 No cigarettes for him either.
00:02:24.000 Yeah.
00:02:24.000 He always says that.
00:02:25.000 No, he's doing Sober October.
00:02:27.000 Are y'all doing Sober October?
00:02:29.000 Yes.
00:02:30.000 Wow, why didn't you ask me?
00:02:31.000 I would have sobered up for it.
00:02:33.000 Would you?
00:02:33.000 No.
00:02:34.000 No, you wouldn't have done it.
00:02:35.000 No, I want to do...
00:02:36.000 Get fucked up October?
00:02:37.000 I want to go to retox.
00:02:41.000 Retox instead of detox?
00:02:43.000 That's what my boyfriend Johnny calls it.
00:02:45.000 He goes, it's time to retox.
00:02:47.000 How many cigarettes are you smoking a day now?
00:02:50.000 Well, who's counting?
00:02:51.000 You just keep smoking them?
00:02:53.000 I'm smoking less than 10. Less than 10 is not bad.
00:02:55.000 Yeah.
00:02:56.000 It's not as good as zero.
00:02:58.000 Well, I was smoking a lot.
00:02:59.000 See, I'm cutting it by 10 every week.
00:03:02.000 Oh, okay.
00:03:03.000 So next week it'll be down to one.
00:03:07.000 Oh, okay.
00:03:08.000 A day.
00:03:08.000 All week.
00:03:09.000 One a day is not bad.
00:03:11.000 And I'll see how I deal with it.
00:03:14.000 If anyone dies.
00:03:16.000 This whole thing has been...
00:03:18.000 Completely fucking insane.
00:03:20.000 Really?
00:03:22.000 Yeah, I don't have to tell you.
00:03:24.000 But you caught this madness, this outrage culture, right at the peak.
00:03:29.000 I think you hit peak outrage culture.
00:03:32.000 Thank you.
00:03:33.000 Well, people...
00:03:34.000 Didn't give a fuck if you were making a joke.
00:03:37.000 Didn't give a fuck if you had no idea that that lady was black.
00:03:41.000 Didn't give a fuck what your mental state was.
00:03:43.000 Didn't give a fuck if you were on Ambien.
00:03:45.000 Didn't give a fuck if you were drinking.
00:03:47.000 Didn't give a fuck if you sincerely apologized.
00:03:50.000 Oh, go ahead.
00:03:51.000 I do want to talk seriously about that.
00:03:53.000 But they didn't care that you sincerely apologized and didn't mean to offend.
00:03:59.000 You were cracking a joke about a woman.
00:04:03.000 It was funny how they mischaracterized it and lied about it and added words to it.
00:04:09.000 Yeah.
00:04:10.000 But, yeah, I like to talk about the tweet.
00:04:13.000 But, yeah, I seriously apologize to all whom I inadvertently offended.
00:04:19.000 And because they were offended for, like, it wasn't even what they say they were offended because it didn't say that.
00:04:27.000 No.
00:04:27.000 But they think that I tweeted, said she looked like...
00:04:32.000 You know, somebody.
00:04:33.000 And I never said anything about her looks.
00:04:35.000 It was a political tweet.
00:04:36.000 And it's just proof of how everybody's under mass mind control.
00:04:41.000 Because they took a...
00:04:43.000 And of course I'm always interested in that.
00:04:47.000 You know that.
00:04:48.000 Mass mind control?
00:04:49.000 Yeah.
00:04:49.000 I think a lot of it's self-imposed.
00:04:51.000 That's what I think.
00:04:52.000 I think people are under the wave of self-imposed mind control.
00:04:55.000 I don't think it's like there's anybody pulling the strings.
00:04:58.000 You mean you think you can get out of it?
00:04:59.000 No, I don't think anyone's You don't?
00:05:02.000 No, I don't.
00:05:03.000 I don't think it's by design.
00:05:04.000 Really?
00:05:05.000 I think people are caught up in a wave of fear and paranoia and political correctness.
00:05:09.000 I think one of the reasons why they attack someone like you is, first of all, you're wealthy and successful and famous.
00:05:15.000 And beautiful.
00:05:16.000 You are beautiful.
00:05:17.000 Thank you.
00:05:17.000 And one of the best comics of all time.
00:05:19.000 Oh, thank you so much.
00:05:20.000 You're also an easy target.
00:05:25.000 You're a white woman.
00:05:27.000 Well, I don't identify as a white woman.
00:05:29.000 What do you identify as?
00:05:31.000 I identify as a Jew.
00:05:34.000 Well, there you go.
00:05:36.000 And this is what you thought this woman was as well.
00:05:38.000 Well, she looks like my cousin Sharon.
00:05:40.000 She looks just like my cousin.
00:05:42.000 But it wasn't nothing to do with how she looks.
00:05:45.000 That came after my tweet.
00:05:47.000 But wasn't it about the planet of the apes?
00:05:49.000 It was about the work of her hands, what she engineered in Iran.
00:05:54.000 And I'd been on there talking about, I call it a woman's revolution in Iran, for years.
00:06:03.000 And speaking to people in Iran about it and what it means to the women who are second-class citizens there.
00:06:13.000 And so if you take that one tweet out of like probably – I tweet a lot.
00:06:22.000 You go crazy.
00:06:23.000 You get on tweet storms.
00:06:25.000 No, I don't go crazy.
00:06:25.000 I stay crazy.
00:06:28.000 I admit it.
00:06:29.000 I mean, what the fuck?
00:06:30.000 They're like, you know what?
00:06:31.000 You've said you're crazy for years, and you know what?
00:06:34.000 You're crazy.
00:06:35.000 Well, yeah.
00:06:35.000 I said it for fucking years.
00:06:37.000 Well, it's also one of the reasons why you're so funny.
00:06:40.000 All of us are crazy.
00:06:40.000 Yeah.
00:06:40.000 All comics are fucking nutso.
00:06:42.000 At least I don't wash my keys like some.
00:06:45.000 I know some guys, they gotta wash their keys five, six, seven times before they can go on stage.
00:06:51.000 What's his name?
00:06:52.000 Oh, I'm so bad on names.
00:06:54.000 Chris Farley?
00:06:56.000 I always ask comics, you know.
00:06:58.000 I ask them, what's your secret number?
00:07:01.000 What's yours, Joe?
00:07:02.000 I don't have a secret number.
00:07:03.000 You don't have a number?
00:07:04.000 No.
00:07:04.000 You don't have to do something a number of times?
00:07:07.000 You don't have a number?
00:07:08.000 No, I don't have a number.
00:07:09.000 What's your birthday?
00:07:10.000 8-11-67.
00:07:12.000 8?
00:07:12.000 What's that, August?
00:07:14.000 August.
00:07:14.000 8-11-67.
00:07:20.000 You were born in 1967?
00:07:23.000 Yes.
00:07:24.000 Jesus F Christ.
00:07:27.000 I was in the Utah State Hospital when you were born.
00:07:33.000 What were you doing?
00:07:34.000 Giving birth?
00:07:35.000 No, I was in a mental institution.
00:07:37.000 That was my first hospitalization.
00:07:40.000 It lasted for nine months, and it was the Utah State Hospital in Provo, where the Osmonds are from.
00:07:48.000 So I was always a big Marie Osmond fan.
00:07:51.000 The mental health aspect of this conversation is an important one because here's my take on this.
00:07:58.000 It's extremely important.
00:07:59.000 It is important.
00:08:00.000 And yesterday was Mental Health Awareness Day.
00:08:02.000 Yes, I know.
00:08:03.000 And I was quite aware of being mentally healthy yesterday as I was smoking.
00:08:10.000 If someone has an injured leg, you don't expect them to run marathons.
00:08:18.000 If someone has something wrong with their liver, you don't expect them to process food correctly.
00:08:24.000 You don't blame it on them.
00:08:26.000 But if someone has a mental health issue and they do something erratic or they say something that's inappropriate and then they apologize for it.
00:08:35.000 Or if they're a comedian.
00:08:36.000 Or if they're a comedian.
00:08:37.000 And you've had legitimate, real, diagnosed, treated mental health issues, trauma-related issues.
00:08:47.000 There you go.
00:08:47.000 How do you like that, baby?
00:08:49.000 I can do the alphabet.
00:08:50.000 Can you?
00:08:51.000 Yeah.
00:08:51.000 Congratulations.
00:08:52.000 But for whatever reason, people want to pretend that this is a deliberate act of By a calculating person who is just being an asshole.
00:09:02.000 And that's not the case.
00:09:04.000 You're not an asshole.
00:09:05.000 Not at this time.
00:09:06.000 I have been an asshole on Twitter.
00:09:09.000 But you weren't.
00:09:10.000 That's not what you were doing.
00:09:11.000 No.
00:09:12.000 I was talking about Iran and the women's revolution there.
00:09:15.000 And it's always been...
00:09:18.000 Because, you know what?
00:09:20.000 I had my DNA done.
00:09:21.000 Because I wanted to know.
00:09:23.000 And I am of North African ancestry.
00:09:27.000 How much?
00:09:28.000 It's like a very small percentage, but it was something like 25,000 years ago they left North Africa, which is kind of Syria, and they went to Lithuania and Russia and some Europe.
00:09:46.000 Did you do like 23andMe or something like that?
00:09:48.000 Yeah.
00:09:49.000 And it just answered so many questions for, you know, why I feel this yearning towards that part of the world.
00:09:55.000 But I do, you know, and especially the geopolitics there are some that have always intrigued me.
00:10:02.000 And I have always attempted to use my voice to, you know, support all the people there.
00:10:14.000 Well, it's a fascinating part of the world.
00:10:16.000 So it was, you know, this one tweet was like about, it was about, I mean, it's actually a genius tweet if you really fucking knew.
00:10:27.000 What did you say?
00:10:27.000 What exactly did you say?
00:10:29.000 Let's find the tweet, Jamie.
00:10:32.000 I'll tell you if it's the artificially rendered.
00:10:35.000 There's an artificially rendered one?
00:10:36.000 Yeah, there's a lot of them.
00:10:38.000 What people distorted what you actually said?
00:10:40.000 Yeah, first it was racist Roseanne, and then a couple weeks later it was disgraced comic Roseanne and her racist tweet, and then after that it was disgraced comic and her offensive racist tweet.
00:10:55.000 Because there's all these hoops you've got to jump through, you know?
00:10:58.000 They're never done punishing you.
00:11:01.000 Well, like we were saying before the podcast started...
00:11:04.000 And all my friends said, don't apologize to social justice warriors because that's the kiss of death.
00:11:09.000 That's fucking chum in the water, blood in the water, you know?
00:11:12.000 It's definitely a little bit of that.
00:11:13.000 But what I was saying before the podcast to you is I don't really...
00:11:17.000 What I really think happens is they find a target and they don't care if it's a viable target.
00:11:22.000 But once the target gets greenlit, they go after you until some new target comes along.
00:11:28.000 They always have to have a target, for sure.
00:11:31.000 And it's recreational outrage.
00:11:33.000 They find you, they attack you, and they go after you, and they try to distort your position.
00:11:37.000 And even if they don't know what the fuck you said.
00:11:38.000 Right.
00:11:39.000 And obviously they don't.
00:11:40.000 That's what kind of cracks me up.
00:11:42.000 It's like, look at this.
00:11:44.000 Look what they're saying it meant.
00:11:45.000 And, you know, I'm not going to bow down before them and say you were right, and they want me to.
00:11:51.000 But they weren't right.
00:11:52.000 I'm right.
00:11:53.000 I wrote it.
00:11:54.000 Bitch.
00:11:55.000 Bitch.
00:11:55.000 So I know what I meant.
00:11:56.000 So you don't fucking get to tell me what I meant.
00:11:59.000 But they don't care.
00:12:00.000 I know.
00:12:00.000 This is the thing is they don't want to look at it rationally and say, oh, here's a woman that has a history of mental health problems.
00:12:05.000 She was on Ambien and drinking, and she says something that is slightly irrational, but given your explanation of it...
00:12:15.000 Well, Joe, you and Doug both always think all my tweets make no sense.
00:12:19.000 You've been saying that for fucking years since I went on Twitter.
00:12:22.000 You're like, her tweets are just fucking straight up crazy.
00:12:25.000 Well, you have some crazy tweets for sure.
00:12:27.000 I don't think they're crazy.
00:12:29.000 You just don't get them.
00:12:30.000 Well, maybe if I was in the same mindset as you, I would get them.
00:12:35.000 Yeah, but obviously no one is.
00:12:37.000 But when I say crazy, I think they're fun.
00:12:39.000 I know I don't think like other people.
00:12:41.000 I know that.
00:12:41.000 I've always known that my whole life.
00:12:43.000 I'd always test other people, see what they were thinking.
00:12:46.000 Like, even as a kid, I'd be like, you know, but I try to fit in.
00:12:50.000 They go, let's play Barbies, you know, and I'm like...
00:12:53.000 I'm like, okay, well, but let's have Barbie be a resistance fighter that paratroops into the hidden lines of the German thing and save all the Jews.
00:13:05.000 And they'd go, you have to be her cousin Skipper!
00:13:09.000 And then they'd hand me the Skipper doll.
00:13:12.000 I always had to personify Skipper and they got to be Barbie.
00:13:15.000 I didn't even know Barbie had a cousin.
00:13:17.000 Yeah, Skipper, she has little tiny tits.
00:13:20.000 And I resented that.
00:13:23.000 Because I always had very large pendulous breasts since I was four or five.
00:13:33.000 I did.
00:13:34.000 I don't think or look like other people.
00:13:36.000 I think I'm an alien, really.
00:13:38.000 What planet do you think you'd be from?
00:13:40.000 Well, somebody told me I was from Pleiades.
00:13:42.000 Do you know anything about that?
00:13:44.000 Yeah, that's the people that call the Art Bell Show.
00:13:46.000 They would always say that from Pleiades.
00:13:47.000 Yeah, they say round faces are from Pleiades.
00:13:50.000 See, you got a round face.
00:13:51.000 That's what I told you.
00:13:52.000 I don't even go by what people look like, except for I do look at the shape of their head, I have to admit.
00:13:58.000 That's how I classify people.
00:14:00.000 I classify people my own way because I don't think like everybody else thinks.
00:14:04.000 I take a person's shape of their head, and that's the group they represent to me.
00:14:11.000 And I have noticed that the Dutch have the largest heads.
00:14:15.000 The big people.
00:14:16.000 The Dutch have pure square, not all of them, of course, but some of them.
00:14:21.000 You know, the average height for a Dutch person is like six feet tall.
00:14:24.000 I know.
00:14:25.000 For the women.
00:14:26.000 Huge folks.
00:14:27.000 Yeah.
00:14:27.000 Vikings.
00:14:28.000 Yeah, Vikings.
00:14:29.000 Yeah.
00:14:30.000 I love all the different peoples of the earth because they all have a variety of foods that I enjoy.
00:14:37.000 So I like to, you know, I don't just mix with one kind of person in my real life.
00:14:42.000 I mix with all kind of people and, you know, because I'll go anywhere for a free meal.
00:14:47.000 Pfft.
00:14:48.000 But I love cultures.
00:14:50.000 And I love all people.
00:14:52.000 That's all I want to say, you know.
00:14:54.000 I'm not that person.
00:14:56.000 You're not a racist by any stretch of the imagination.
00:14:59.000 But you are a person that will make fun of anything.
00:15:02.000 My son said I'm a misanthrope.
00:15:03.000 I'm a misanthrope.
00:15:04.000 You are a misanthrope.
00:15:05.000 I am a respectress of no man or woman.
00:15:09.000 But most comedians have misanthropic intentions.
00:15:15.000 You have to hate all people the same.
00:15:17.000 But you definitely have to mock and make...
00:15:20.000 I mean, it's part of the job description.
00:15:21.000 Yeah, you gotta mock.
00:15:22.000 You mock and make fun of and you look for things that are irritating about everything.
00:15:27.000 No shit, right?
00:15:28.000 Yeah, that's part of the job.
00:15:28.000 That's the funny stuff.
00:15:29.000 Not only that, that was part of your character on your show.
00:15:31.000 Yeah.
00:15:32.000 It was part of the reason why ABC wanted you back.
00:15:34.000 It's part of the reason why the show became such a giant hit in its return.
00:15:37.000 I mean, it was a fucking huge hit coming right out of the gate.
00:15:41.000 Yeah.
00:15:42.000 28 million people.
00:15:43.000 That's a lot of fucking people today.
00:15:45.000 I know it's number one every episode.
00:15:47.000 Yeah, that's a lot of people.
00:15:49.000 And a lot of that was because people love this aspect of you.
00:15:53.000 But as soon as you get labeled a racist, everybody throws their hands up and goes, whoa, I didn't know she was racist.
00:15:59.000 She's racist.
00:16:00.000 And they don't care about nuance.
00:16:02.000 They don't care about the details.
00:16:04.000 They don't care about ambient.
00:16:05.000 They don't care about alcohol.
00:16:06.000 When I called you on the phone, One thing I've learned, Joe, if you're going to take an Ambien, do not drink a beer.
00:16:17.000 Always only drink a wine with Ambien.
00:16:21.000 I have a good friend of mine who is one of the nicest, most respectful guys you ever want to meet.
00:16:26.000 He woke up in Germany, on a plane, covered in his own vomit, with the police standing over him, asking him if he knew what happened.
00:16:35.000 He wound up getting arrested, they brought him to the jail in Germany, And he's a CEO of a large company.
00:16:43.000 And they went over things with him and they said, what happened?
00:16:46.000 What do you remember?
00:16:47.000 He goes, well, I remember taking an Ambien and then I went to sleep and then I had, I guess I had a beer at some point in time.
00:16:54.000 And they go, okay, stop.
00:16:55.000 This is what happened.
00:16:56.000 And so they describe how he was hitting on the stewardesses and trying to start fights with men in the cabin and threw up all over himself.
00:17:05.000 Wasn't his being his real self.
00:17:06.000 He was on Ambien.
00:17:07.000 Yeah, I know.
00:17:07.000 It distorts things.
00:17:09.000 He's the nicest guy.
00:17:10.000 If you knew this guy, you would never in a million years believe that he was capable of anything remotely like this.
00:17:16.000 And the German people actually let him stay in the country.
00:17:19.000 They let him continue his vacation.
00:17:21.000 They're like, okay.
00:17:22.000 They forgave him.
00:17:23.000 Will you promise not to do that again?
00:17:24.000 He goes, I'm never fucking taking that shit again in my life.
00:17:26.000 Yeah.
00:17:27.000 And one of the things that I said to you when I called you up, I said, what were you doing?
00:17:32.000 And you told me you were on Ambien.
00:17:34.000 And I said, okay, well stop right there.
00:17:36.000 Because I know quite a bit about that.
00:17:38.000 Because I've had personal experiences with friends that have had real issues with Ambien.
00:17:41.000 I had a bit I did in my act about a friend of mine who literally made a meal while he was on Ambien.
00:17:47.000 Cooked, went to the supermarket, got food, cooked it.
00:17:50.000 Well look at Tiger Woods.
00:17:52.000 He was on that and then he'd go driving off in the golf cart to meet some...
00:17:57.000 Chick, you know.
00:17:58.000 And I don't understand why people say they have sex on Ambien.
00:18:02.000 People say that's a big thing that people take Ambien to have sex.
00:18:06.000 I don't even know how they can stay.
00:18:08.000 I guess they don't stay awake, but another part of them wakes up and their sex part comes out.
00:18:14.000 That's all I can figure.
00:18:15.000 I've never taken it.
00:18:16.000 I'm terrified of this stuff.
00:18:17.000 Don't ever take it.
00:18:18.000 Yeah.
00:18:18.000 I have no problem going to sleep.
00:18:21.000 I've never had a problem going to sleep.
00:18:22.000 I do, but you know what I found is THC, they sell it down at the dispensary, and there's one for sleep at night.
00:18:30.000 Yeah.
00:18:30.000 And I've been doing that, and I've been sleeping through the night.
00:18:35.000 When I was taking the sleeping thing, the sleeping drug.
00:18:39.000 Ambien?
00:18:39.000 Well, I don't want to say it because we don't want to get sued.
00:18:42.000 It's like Candyman.
00:18:43.000 You don't want to say it three times.
00:18:45.000 You'll get sued, not me.
00:18:47.000 By saying Ambien?
00:18:48.000 I bet you.
00:18:48.000 I don't think they give a fuck.
00:18:50.000 Did you see their tweet, though?
00:18:51.000 People just want to buy that shit.
00:18:52.000 Yeah, I did see that tweet.
00:18:53.000 Did you see that?
00:18:54.000 Yeah.
00:18:54.000 Well, you know, I had Hamilton Morris on the podcast, who is a drug expert.
00:18:58.000 Yeah.
00:18:59.000 And he writes for Vice and does pieces for Vice.
00:19:02.000 I just did a piece for Vice.
00:19:05.000 After your incident, he came on and went in great detail about how that is something that happens to people.
00:19:13.000 They have no idea what the fuck they're saying.
00:19:15.000 It's called a hypnotic.
00:19:16.000 That is the classification of drugs that it falls under.
00:19:19.000 And people do all sorts of involuntary things when they're on it.
00:19:22.000 No, it doesn't just make you say racist things.
00:19:25.000 But you didn't say anything intentionally racist.
00:19:28.000 I said something political about the work of Valerie Jarrett's hands.
00:19:33.000 And I also was referencing my very favorite movie.
00:19:36.000 So if we could talk about how fucking awesome that movie, Planet of the Apes.
00:19:41.000 Great fucking movie.
00:19:41.000 Also, it's the definitive people get your, come on people now, smile on your brother.
00:19:49.000 It's like, come on.
00:19:51.000 It's like the hundredth monkey.
00:19:53.000 Is that the thing?
00:19:53.000 Is that the name of it?
00:19:55.000 Yeah, that's what it is.
00:19:56.000 The hundredth monkey on the typewriter.
00:19:58.000 What is it?
00:19:59.000 No, 10,000 monkeys?
00:20:00.000 What is it?
00:20:01.000 How does that work?
00:20:02.000 That if you have a certain amount of monkeys...
00:20:04.000 No, it's the hundredth monkey that changes everything.
00:20:06.000 Right.
00:20:07.000 If a species does something 99 times in a row, the hundredth time it's gone into their DNA. Oh, yeah?
00:20:15.000 Yeah, and then they evolve to the next level.
00:20:18.000 A hundredth monkey effect.
00:20:20.000 A hundredth monkey effect is a hypothetical phenomenon in which a new behavior idea is claimed to spread rapidly by unexplained means from one group to all related groups once a critical number of members of one group exhibit a new behavior or acknowledge the new idea.
00:20:33.000 Yeah, critical mass.
00:20:34.000 Yeah.
00:20:35.000 Well...
00:20:36.000 The thing is, a lot of people put pictures of that woman right next to the lady.
00:20:40.000 Well, I didn't put no picture.
00:20:41.000 I understand.
00:20:41.000 I said the picture was put up after my tweet.
00:20:44.000 I understand.
00:20:45.000 And I didn't have nothing to do with that picture.
00:20:47.000 I didn't say she looked like anything.
00:20:49.000 Seriously, I'm not that fucking shallow, okay?
00:20:52.000 I never talk about nobody's looks, unless they're thin and blonde, and I'm jealous.
00:20:58.000 But, you know, and youthful now.
00:21:01.000 Or whatever.
00:21:03.000 Right.
00:21:03.000 Wasn't there another tweet that you made a long time ago about who was that other woman?
00:21:09.000 Susan Rice.
00:21:10.000 Yes.
00:21:11.000 Yeah.
00:21:11.000 Where you said she has giant swinging eight balls.
00:21:14.000 Yeah.
00:21:14.000 That she's a man.
00:21:15.000 Well, see, let me explain that now because this is regionalistic.
00:21:21.000 Regionalism.
00:21:22.000 I'm from Utah, and all the girls in Utah, when we got married, and we heard our moms do it too, it's always, where's your ape?
00:21:31.000 They go, what's your ape doing this Sunday?
00:21:34.000 And he's like, oh, he's watching football.
00:21:36.000 All good, let's go out to lunch.
00:21:38.000 All of the men were all apes.
00:21:40.000 That's how it is in a breeder culture like Salt Lake City.
00:21:44.000 Breeder culture?
00:21:45.000 Yeah.
00:21:47.000 That is a breeder culture.
00:21:49.000 So it's like, where's your ape?
00:21:50.000 And then it's like, man, your ape has big fucking swinging ape balls.
00:21:54.000 I give him that.
00:21:55.000 You know, it's a regionalistic thing.
00:21:58.000 And, you know, so I used it and apologized.
00:22:03.000 But, you know, because I didn't realize.
00:22:06.000 You know, I just sometimes forget what race everybody is, as if I could tell half the time anyway.
00:22:12.000 I can't even see people, to tell you the truth.
00:22:15.000 I need like bifocals, trifocals.
00:22:18.000 And I never identified other human beings by what they looked like, for God's sake.
00:22:22.000 I just could tell if I felt a liking to them, you know?
00:22:26.000 Whatever they looked like.
00:22:27.000 My point is that there's only two things over the course of thousands and thousands of tweets.
00:22:33.000 Yeah, but you don't miss my point.
00:22:34.000 I said Susan Rice, let's say that she has incredible audacity.
00:22:42.000 That's what I meant.
00:22:44.000 And she does.
00:22:46.000 But you didn't mean it in a complimentary way.
00:22:51.000 If someone is audacious, is that negative or positive?
00:22:56.000 Weren't you talking about her in a negative way, though?
00:22:58.000 I said she has a lot of audacity.
00:23:00.000 That's what I meant.
00:23:02.000 She does.
00:23:04.000 Whatever it was.
00:23:06.000 That's what it was.
00:23:07.000 But that was one that got brought up as well.
00:23:09.000 That was also in the middle of a huge conversation about Benghazi and the Iran deal.
00:23:17.000 Those are the two of the three things that I like to do on Twitter, although I'm no longer on there.
00:23:23.000 You got off?
00:23:24.000 Yeah.
00:23:25.000 Bad for you?
00:23:26.000 Yeah.
00:23:26.000 I was glad to see Kanye West got off, too.
00:23:29.000 Did he?
00:23:29.000 Yeah.
00:23:30.000 When?
00:23:30.000 He deleted all his accounts last week.
00:23:32.000 And I was glad, too, because you're just like, once you're a target, it's just too painful.
00:23:38.000 Yeah.
00:23:39.000 Well, you definitely shouldn't be reading that shit.
00:23:42.000 No, I don't read it.
00:23:43.000 Yeah.
00:23:44.000 But, well, when you become a target, how do you know if you don't read it?
00:23:49.000 Well, I know what I lived through when it first happened.
00:23:52.000 And that's been like four or so months ago.
00:23:54.000 So I just know how I've reacted in my real life since that happened to me.
00:24:00.000 How long did it take for things to die off?
00:24:03.000 To die off?
00:24:04.000 What do you mean?
00:24:04.000 Slow down, where they weren't just coming after you constantly.
00:24:07.000 I told you that news crews, when they found out that you were going to come on the podcast the first time, they were trying to show up at my house.
00:24:14.000 They were trying to show up at the studio.
00:24:15.000 They were trying to find me at the comedy store.
00:24:17.000 I mean, they were just trying to hunt down anything about you.
00:24:22.000 I know.
00:24:23.000 I was sneaking cigs from my boyfriend because we were at my mom's house when I did it, you know?
00:24:28.000 We were at home in Salt Lake City when I tweeted at 2, 11 a.m.
00:24:34.000 I just woke up and tweeted.
00:24:35.000 I had this thought in my head, oh my god, this is going to make so much sense.
00:24:40.000 And then I tweeted it, and then I went right back to sleep.
00:24:43.000 And when I woke up at 7, the shit had hit the fan, you know?
00:24:46.000 Yeah.
00:24:47.000 But I was like, I'm going to expound on this later.
00:24:49.000 It was one of those kind of things.
00:24:51.000 Right.
00:24:51.000 You just want to get it down.
00:24:53.000 And I, you know, always slept with my computer and tweet.
00:24:56.000 When I wake up, like, you know, when you're old, you have to go to the bathroom a lot, so I always tweet and fall back to sleep.
00:25:01.000 See, and then on the Ambien tweets, my daughter, I used to always, when I took my Ambien, I called my daughter, or she called me, she'd go, Mom, you're starting to do the Ambien tweets.
00:25:12.000 Get off.
00:25:12.000 Get off the Twitter, you know.
00:25:15.000 So I just called my daughter then every night when I was doing the Ambien, and I'd go, You know what?
00:25:21.000 Here comes a big fish.
00:25:22.000 She recorded it.
00:25:24.000 Here comes a big fish right through my window.
00:25:27.000 Uh-oh, he's getting stuck in the mirror.
00:25:30.000 laughter And that's when she goes, Mom, turn it all off and go to sleep.
00:25:36.000 I have to have my family tell me that.
00:25:38.000 You almost need her standing guard by your bed.
00:25:40.000 Yeah.
00:25:40.000 Hold on, let me read that before you tweet it.
00:25:42.000 No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:25:44.000 That's what she does now.
00:25:44.000 She took my Twitter account away.
00:25:47.000 Were you surprised?
00:25:48.000 But then she tweets all these liberal things that I want to just get up in her face and smack her around for.
00:25:54.000 Not with your account?
00:25:56.000 No, on her own.
00:25:56.000 But I'm like, how come it's okay for you to say this?
00:25:59.000 But it ain't for me.
00:26:00.000 Well, mother, I didn't lose everything.
00:26:03.000 Oh, she sticks it in your face.
00:26:04.000 We're only trying to help you.
00:26:06.000 I'm like, ah, you and your fucking help.
00:26:10.000 Sticks it in your face?
00:26:11.000 Is she a serious liberal?
00:26:14.000 All three of my daughters are serious social justice warrior types.
00:26:18.000 And what do they think about your positions on things?
00:26:21.000 Well, they think I'm crazy.
00:26:24.000 They always did.
00:26:27.000 They always thought all my trades for president were crazy.
00:26:30.000 But then, oddly, they were all very supportive when I personally ran for president in 2012. They were really supportive of me then.
00:26:40.000 Well, you're their mom.
00:26:41.000 Yeah, that was cool.
00:26:42.000 But like all the other times, it's like, oh, God, mother, it's your generation.
00:26:47.000 It's the baby boomers are the reason everything is all fucked up.
00:26:51.000 So stop letting yourself off the hook.
00:26:54.000 Political conversations in the bar household.
00:26:57.000 Yeah.
00:26:58.000 Oh, yeah.
00:26:58.000 Oh, yeah.
00:26:59.000 What was it that when you first got brought into a mental hospital, what was it about?
00:27:06.000 Well, I had got hit by a car, and the hood ornament went in my head, in my brains, and scrambled them.
00:27:16.000 And I used to be an A-plus math student.
00:27:19.000 I was just great in geometry.
00:27:22.000 Oh, my God, I loved geometry.
00:27:24.000 I got straight A's.
00:27:27.000 And then I sort of fell apart after that.
00:27:30.000 It took a long time to heal from it.
00:27:34.000 How much did your personality change?
00:27:37.000 Oh, it changed drastically.
00:27:38.000 But, you know, you read all that stuff about traumatic head injuries now, because I do read a lot and talk to a lot of football players who have the same thing, and we do discuss it.
00:27:49.000 Yeah, you change right away.
00:27:51.000 It's still you, but it's kind of like an artificial intelligence you.
00:27:57.000 Did you find that you became much more impulsive?
00:28:02.000 Oh, yeah.
00:28:03.000 You know what I... Well...
00:28:07.000 Yeah, here's what happened.
00:28:09.000 I was crossing the street on my way to school.
00:28:12.000 How old were you?
00:28:13.000 I was 16. No, I was 15. Going to first week of high school.
00:28:24.000 And I was a big nerd.
00:28:30.000 And anyway, I was crossing the street, and it was the top of a hill, and this woman, girl, she was on her way to the university, and the sun blinded her, and she ran me over.
00:28:45.000 And the rest is herstory.
00:28:50.000 How long were you in the hospital for?
00:28:53.000 Some weeks.
00:28:53.000 So first you must have been in a medical hospital first, and then you were admitted to a mental hospital afterwards?
00:29:00.000 Well, there was about three months in between.
00:29:02.000 Right.
00:29:03.000 But I was in the hospital for a while, you know.
00:29:06.000 And I had a head concussion and a brain concussion.
00:29:10.000 And I had hamburger meat for legs.
00:29:13.000 So they did all these...
00:29:16.000 What do they call them?
00:29:17.000 Skin grafts on my legs and Yeah, I was in there for a while.
00:29:27.000 Then I came out of there and I had forgotten everything about math when I returned to school, which was a matter of weeks after that, maybe two months.
00:29:36.000 I'm really bad on time now.
00:29:40.000 And I had forgotten all my math and it was just terrible.
00:29:44.000 That was a big, depressive depression I went into because I couldn't remember things, you know.
00:29:52.000 And also I became way more impulsive.
00:29:55.000 Then I was like, I don't know what I did.
00:29:58.000 Then I started going really out there into the ethers.
00:30:02.000 I went way out there.
00:30:04.000 Like how so?
00:30:05.000 Way out!
00:30:06.000 You know how you go way out.
00:30:08.000 Do you ever go way out?
00:30:09.000 Not really.
00:30:10.000 I mean, I've had a lot of head injuries.
00:30:12.000 Oh yeah.
00:30:13.000 But not terrible.
00:30:15.000 Mostly just punches and kicks.
00:30:17.000 Nothing like car accidents or never played football.
00:30:22.000 Yeah.
00:30:23.000 But my head injuries, you know, they were just more accumulative when I was young until I was about 21, 22, when I stopped fighting, stopped sparring.
00:30:31.000 Mm-hmm.
00:30:34.000 But I definitely...
00:30:37.000 I'm subject to impulsive behavior.
00:30:39.000 Still?
00:30:39.000 Yeah, but I keep it under wraps.
00:30:41.000 I keep it under control because I'm aware of it.
00:30:43.000 But when I was younger, I didn't understand what was going on.
00:30:45.000 I would just be subject to whims, very addictive behavior.
00:30:49.000 But I tried to keep it positive, but I would be addicted to things.
00:30:53.000 Addicted to doing things.
00:30:54.000 Addicted to games.
00:30:57.000 Addicted like ridiculously addictive.
00:30:59.000 Like spend 10, 12, 14 hours a day playing video games.
00:31:02.000 That kind of shit.
00:31:03.000 That sounds like my kid.
00:31:04.000 Yeah.
00:31:05.000 Well, some of it's just normal because video games are awesome.
00:31:08.000 But for me it'd be everything.
00:31:10.000 Martial arts, pool, whatever it is.
00:31:12.000 I'd just be completely obsessed with it and be thinking about it all day.
00:31:15.000 In a point where it wasn't necessarily healthy.
00:31:18.000 On a whim, I would just want to go do something.
00:31:20.000 I almost had no control over compulsions.
00:31:24.000 And I think some of that is...
00:31:26.000 Whatever brain injuries that I've had are very mild in comparison to a lot of people that I know.
00:31:32.000 Certainly very mild in comparison to yours.
00:31:35.000 Yeah, plus there was a lot of trauma in the state hospital that I'm being there and seeing and experiencing.
00:31:45.000 And how long did they admit you for?
00:31:48.000 I was in there nine months.
00:31:50.000 So what was it that they brought you in there for?
00:31:53.000 How were you behaving that they decided that you needed to be admitted?
00:31:58.000 I was out there.
00:32:00.000 You say that.
00:32:01.000 What does that mean?
00:32:06.000 I don't think there's any words the English can understand.
00:32:10.000 You didn't have a control of reality.
00:32:13.000 You didn't have control of your behavior.
00:32:15.000 Your thinking was screwed up.
00:32:17.000 I was not thinking like the normal thing that they say you should be thinking about.
00:32:23.000 But people around you had realized it, that it was so bad that they had to admit you to a hospital.
00:32:29.000 It wasn't just that, oh, Roseanne, she's eccentric.
00:32:31.000 It was, she needs actual medical help.
00:32:35.000 Yeah, I asked to be admitted.
00:32:37.000 You knew something was really wrong?
00:32:39.000 Yeah.
00:32:39.000 I finally admitted it was.
00:32:41.000 Did you know at the time, were you completely aware that it was connected to your car accident?
00:32:48.000 No.
00:32:49.000 You just knew something was wrong?
00:32:50.000 Yeah.
00:32:51.000 And back then they didn't really kind of understand that, the way they understand it now.
00:32:56.000 No, they didn't understand too much about bipolar disorder or they knew nothing about multiple personality disorder.
00:33:05.000 Trauma related as well.
00:33:06.000 Trauma related, yeah.
00:33:07.000 PTSD, now they call everything PTS. Yeah.
00:33:11.000 They don't even say D anymore.
00:33:13.000 They say PTS. Post-traumatic stress.
00:33:18.000 So, when they admitted you, what was the treatment?
00:33:21.000 Like, what did they do to you when you were inside the mental hospital?
00:33:26.000 Well, they right away put me on an antipsychotic.
00:33:29.000 What was it?
00:33:30.000 Do you remember?
00:33:31.000 Meloril.
00:33:32.000 What did that do?
00:33:34.000 I don't know.
00:33:36.000 I wasn't there.
00:33:38.000 You weren't there.
00:33:39.000 You were gone.
00:33:39.000 I was gone.
00:33:40.000 I was just watching these people I was in the mental institution with, and I wanted to tell that story.
00:33:45.000 Yeah.
00:33:46.000 Because there was this one lady.
00:33:47.000 I think I told this to Paul Rubens, too.
00:33:51.000 I think it might be where he got large Marge.
00:33:54.000 But there was this one lady, and she's in this cage, you know?
00:33:57.000 She's in a cage with keys on our ward there.
00:34:00.000 And Christ, I can't remember her name either.
00:34:05.000 Marge.
00:34:07.000 Her name was Marge?
00:34:08.000 Yeah.
00:34:08.000 And she's about 600, 700 pounds.
00:34:11.000 Whoa.
00:34:12.000 And she's funnier than hell.
00:34:14.000 You know, I thought, man, this chick's got some good lines, you know.
00:34:19.000 And I always traded lines with her, and she'd laugh.
00:34:21.000 You know, I always like jokes.
00:34:24.000 You can always find a joke wherever you are, you know.
00:34:27.000 That's the key to life, I think.
00:34:30.000 But...
00:34:33.000 Oh, everybody called me Chunky.
00:34:36.000 That was my name.
00:34:38.000 Chunky.
00:34:42.000 And there was another girl in there named Shorty.
00:34:44.000 So it was Chunky and Shorty.
00:34:46.000 We were like a duo.
00:34:49.000 But anyway, so she's like, hey, Roseanne, get What's-Her-Name's keys when they go to dinner and open this up here, you know, come in here.
00:34:59.000 I'm like, okay, you know, because, you know, after all, I was crazy, too.
00:35:04.000 And I trust, I don't know, I just always, I never questioned that there was danger anywhere.
00:35:12.000 I always got in trouble, you know, caught, beat up, something, you know.
00:35:17.000 But, uh, So I did it, you know.
00:35:21.000 Oh, Anka, that was her name, the head nurse.
00:35:23.000 I hated her because she told me I needed to bathe.
00:35:27.000 I'll tell that story later.
00:35:28.000 It was horrifying.
00:35:30.000 It changed my life.
00:35:31.000 But anyway, so they all go to dinner.
00:35:33.000 So I go in there, steal the keys out of the thing where they are, you know, the attendants.
00:35:38.000 And I go in there with Marge and leave the keys in the door and close the door.
00:35:47.000 Yeah.
00:35:48.000 Yeah.
00:35:50.000 So I'm like, hey Marge, how's it going, Marge?
00:35:55.000 And she's like, Chunky, you know why they put me in this cage, don't you?
00:36:02.000 Take some Jaguar cigarette.
00:36:05.000 I go, well, why?
00:36:08.000 No, I don't know why.
00:36:13.000 Well, Chunky, it's because they consider me to be dangerous.
00:36:21.000 I'm like, how come?
00:36:25.000 I'm like Gomer Pyle, seriously.
00:36:29.000 I'm total Gomer Pyle.
00:36:31.000 And you were like 16 at the time?
00:36:32.000 15. About eight minutes into it, I realized, oh shit.
00:36:41.000 Oh shit.
00:36:43.000 Something's going on here.
00:36:45.000 That's how long it always took me to, like, zero in on what's happening because I'm not even there.
00:36:50.000 You know, I'm always ignoring when other people talk.
00:36:52.000 I don't listen.
00:36:54.000 You know, I'm thinking of funny things.
00:36:55.000 They bore me, you know.
00:36:57.000 Yeah.
00:36:57.000 So I'm always in my own head.
00:36:59.000 I never get out, really, except for when I work.
00:37:03.000 But, uh, so, uh, then it got, then it took a turn, you know.
00:37:07.000 She's like, so it got to, uh, Why do they consider you dangerous?
00:37:15.000 You know, I had to ask it because she kept on getting me there to that point.
00:37:19.000 Well, she wanted me to ask it.
00:37:21.000 I was trying to delay it, you know, because I knew they'd be back in 40 minutes and it was like going on 20 now.
00:37:28.000 She goes, I'm in here because...
00:37:31.000 That's my voice I got to do with Marjorie.
00:37:33.000 I'm in here because I broke a couple of tenants' backs.
00:37:39.000 Didn't they tell you that?
00:37:41.000 Like, no!
00:37:43.000 Uh-uh!
00:37:45.000 Like, how'd you do that?
00:37:48.000 And in my head I'm thinking, don't change.
00:37:51.000 Don't miss a beat.
00:37:52.000 Don't miss a breath.
00:37:53.000 Don't look nowhere.
00:37:55.000 Just keep on acting all, you know, Utah.
00:37:58.000 Utah girl.
00:37:59.000 Because you knew she was dangerous.
00:38:00.000 Well, that's when it hit my head that it was, uh-oh.
00:38:04.000 She's talking about, you know, I'm feeling like prey.
00:38:08.000 Right.
00:38:09.000 You know?
00:38:12.000 And I go, how'd you do that?
00:38:14.000 Because I figure, oh, it's an accident.
00:38:16.000 You know, it's good old Marge.
00:38:17.000 She tells good jokes.
00:38:20.000 She goes, well, it's easy.
00:38:22.000 You just, oh, I'm doing me again.
00:38:23.000 I got to do her.
00:38:24.000 It's easy.
00:38:25.000 You just put one hand here and one hand here, and then you...
00:38:27.000 I'm like, oh.
00:38:36.000 Where'd you learn that?
00:38:37.000 I'm changing the subject.
00:38:39.000 How was your mom?
00:38:40.000 What was the school like you went to?
00:38:42.000 What's your favorite book?
00:38:43.000 What's your favorite color?
00:38:44.000 What kind of ice cream you like?
00:38:46.000 You ever seen that there's worms in the oatmeal?
00:38:49.000 You ever notice that?
00:38:52.000 She started, that one got her.
00:38:54.000 She's like, yeah, I did.
00:38:56.000 I did notice there was crawling motherfuckers.
00:39:00.000 I go, yeah, and they expect us to eat that?
00:39:02.000 You know, I like suddenly I'm transported to a confederacy of dances when he's on the thing against Levi Pants.
00:39:11.000 Remember that rant in that book?
00:39:14.000 So I'm just tap dancing really.
00:39:18.000 And then I hear it click.
00:39:26.000 I fumbled the keys out of the door, put them back in the attendance room, went in my room.
00:39:33.000 When you said you hear a click?
00:39:34.000 Yeah, I knew the first door got open.
00:39:36.000 There was two doors.
00:39:38.000 I heard the first door open and they're coming back from dinner.
00:39:42.000 So you got away from her?
00:39:44.000 I'm supposed to be sick, you know, in my room.
00:39:45.000 Right.
00:39:46.000 That's why I didn't go to dinner.
00:39:49.000 Yeah, somebody was laying there.
00:39:50.000 And that was like daily.
00:39:52.000 I mean, there were so many weird people in there.
00:39:54.000 We had this one girl, Rosie, her name was, where she'd always grab...
00:39:57.000 She always ended up with a pair of real sharp scissors and lunged for someone's throat.
00:40:03.000 We're like, where'd you get them?
00:40:04.000 Who's bringing her them scissors?
00:40:07.000 But anyway, I went on anti-psychotic medicine, and that was good that I was on there for the shit I saw, including my friends hanging and stuff like that.
00:40:18.000 You saw your friends hanging in the mental institution?
00:40:20.000 Yeah.
00:40:22.000 I saw worse than that.
00:40:24.000 What'd you say?
00:40:25.000 I saw, you know, victims of abuse.
00:40:30.000 It was terrible.
00:40:31.000 By the guards?
00:40:32.000 No, of kids coming from their families.
00:40:34.000 Oh, victims of abuse that came in that were mentally scarred by that.
00:40:39.000 Yeah.
00:40:40.000 Now when they put you on anti-psychotics, was it because you were exhibiting psychotic behavior?
00:40:44.000 Yeah.
00:40:45.000 What kind of psychotic behavior?
00:40:47.000 Well, they thought it was psychotic.
00:40:50.000 I was just scared that they...
00:40:52.000 I think I was throwing them off because I wanted them to think I was psychotic.
00:40:55.000 I didn't want them to think I was schizophrenic.
00:40:58.000 I knew enough not to let them near me.
00:41:01.000 Because once you got the diagnosis of schizophrenic, they would do shocks and they'd experiment on you, basically.
00:41:10.000 You were in a guinea pig and I didn't want that.
00:41:12.000 So maybe I... You know, and then, you know, so yeah, I was doing weird things, like walking down the middle of streets after I got hit by the car.
00:41:21.000 I walked down the middle of streets.
00:41:23.000 I don't know.
00:41:23.000 I thought, oh, you've got to get over your fear of crossing the streets.
00:41:26.000 That's what was in my head.
00:41:28.000 And then I'd walk down a highway, you know.
00:41:31.000 Whoa.
00:41:32.000 I was in a whole other realm.
00:41:34.000 It was like a real surrealistic and metaphysical realm.
00:41:38.000 And I grew comfortable there.
00:41:41.000 But, you know, I think most artists, writers and performers are in that world.
00:41:45.000 I mean, we got a toe in it at least.
00:41:49.000 I've gone in and out, you know, depending on, you know, now I think I'm on the right medications that help me.
00:41:57.000 There's a lot of comedians that have similar stories.
00:42:00.000 Yeah.
00:42:01.000 Some of the greats.
00:42:02.000 You know, Kinnison has a similar story to you.
00:42:04.000 I know.
00:42:04.000 He was hit by a car and changed his personality radically.
00:42:07.000 And it happened in a similar age.
00:42:09.000 It happened when he was young as well.
00:42:11.000 And he was one person.
00:42:13.000 Then he'd get hit by a car.
00:42:14.000 And then after the car, he was this wild man.
00:42:16.000 Yeah.
00:42:16.000 Wild, didn't give a fuck.
00:42:18.000 Totally impulsive.
00:42:19.000 It's not that I didn't give a fuck.
00:42:20.000 It's that I just thought different.
00:42:22.000 Thought different.
00:42:23.000 I was just...
00:42:25.000 I don't know.
00:42:26.000 My mom says when I was 18 months old, I used to go out in the street and direct cars.
00:42:31.000 We lived on a highway.
00:42:33.000 And, you know, that she'd come and find me there just 18 months old, holding up my hands.
00:42:39.000 Jesus Christ.
00:42:40.000 And stopping traffic.
00:42:41.000 So I always had a weird thing going there.
00:42:43.000 But, you know, I don't know.
00:42:47.000 I think I watched too much of that police show, you know, where they'd stop traffic.
00:42:53.000 I used to love TV shows and think they were real, some of it.
00:42:59.000 How many people do you think know this about your mental health history?
00:43:04.000 You know, anybody who knows me.
00:43:06.000 I don't think very many people know it that were angry at you.
00:43:10.000 Oh yeah, they did.
00:43:11.000 I don't think they did.
00:43:12.000 Yeah, they did.
00:43:13.000 I don't think people looked past the surface.
00:43:15.000 I think they looked at you as a rich white lady who said something that they considered to be racist and they decided they were going to attack you.
00:43:22.000 And then the perception, the optics of this was the reason why ABC canceled the show.
00:43:26.000 It was ABC, right?
00:43:28.000 Yeah.
00:43:28.000 It's the reason why they canceled the show.
00:43:30.000 It's the reason why everybody pulled back away from you.
00:43:33.000 And what did that feel like when nobody defended you?
00:43:37.000 People who should know you the way I know you.
00:43:40.000 And I defended you from the very beginning because I said...
00:43:43.000 I know.
00:43:43.000 My son told me that you did.
00:43:45.000 Thank you.
00:43:46.000 This is not a racist person.
00:43:48.000 I go, this is a woman who's kind of crazy.
00:43:50.000 She's brilliant, hilarious, fun to be around.
00:43:53.000 I'm a comic, Joe.
00:43:53.000 Yes.
00:43:54.000 That's one of the reasons why I love you.
00:43:56.000 Well, you know, they try to outlaw comedy.
00:43:58.000 That's what I think.
00:43:59.000 I was surprised that more comics didn't say nothing because, you know, I don't know.
00:44:05.000 They're scared.
00:44:06.000 People are scared.
00:44:06.000 They're scared to support someone that they consider to be racist.
00:44:10.000 I mean, I got a lot of shit from it, but I don't give a fuck.
00:44:14.000 They can think what they want and call me what they want.
00:44:16.000 It don't change me.
00:44:18.000 It doesn't change you.
00:44:19.000 Well, it just takes time before the dust settles.
00:44:21.000 And I knew that once you and I talked, if you and I sat down and talked like this, people would get a chance to see who you really are.
00:44:29.000 You know?
00:44:31.000 Well, you know, they may not like me.
00:44:34.000 They don't have to.
00:44:35.000 No, they don't have to.
00:44:36.000 You're not a bad person.
00:44:37.000 You've never been a bad person.
00:44:38.000 No, I'm not a bad person, but I've done bad things.
00:44:40.000 And like I was talking to, you know, I'm a name dropper.
00:44:44.000 I hate to drop his name out, but forgive me.
00:44:47.000 I should have asked him first.
00:44:48.000 But, you know, I was talking to Mike Tyson, you know.
00:44:54.000 And, uh...
00:44:55.000 He's been through some stuff.
00:44:59.000 And, uh...
00:45:05.000 You're like, well, the thing is, you gotta become a pacifist.
00:45:11.000 That's your only...
00:45:13.000 Yeah, don't battle with people.
00:45:14.000 No, don't battle.
00:45:14.000 No, you can't battle with people back and forth online.
00:45:17.000 You know, I mean, there's too many people, there's not enough time, and you'll go crazy.
00:45:23.000 You'll get wrapped up in conflict, and you'll just be involved in it every minute of every day.
00:45:28.000 Yeah, I call it feeding the beast.
00:45:30.000 Yeah.
00:45:31.000 Because that really is Tower of Babel, Twitter.
00:45:34.000 Well, it's definitely a strange, strange environment where all these people are just, they don't even know you.
00:45:42.000 They have no contact with you other than you're this person they could reach and get to react to certain lines.
00:45:48.000 And the more explosive and the more derogatory and insulting the lines they say to you, the more impact it's going to have on you.
00:45:57.000 So that flavors the way they communicate with you.
00:46:01.000 Yeah, it was tough working with a lot of social justice warriors and remaking Roseanne.
00:46:07.000 It was tough on me mentally.
00:46:10.000 So you mean like the staff that you were working with?
00:46:13.000 Look, I was the only one saying I'm not a Republican nor am I a fucking Democrat.
00:46:21.000 I'm an independent and I'm just anti-corruption.
00:46:25.000 I'm just anti-corruption.
00:46:28.000 Don't make me into your idea of who I am.
00:46:33.000 What was their idea who you were?
00:46:35.000 Well, they thought that since I supported President Trump, that I was a racist and a scumbag and anti-everything, just because I voted for him.
00:46:45.000 Why did you support Trump?
00:46:50.000 I love what Norm MacDonald said.
00:46:55.000 If I can quote him, can I quote Norm?
00:46:58.000 Please do.
00:46:59.000 I love Norm.
00:47:00.000 I think this says it better than anything.
00:47:01.000 He said, the American people hated Hillary so bad that they voted for a guy they hated even worse, just to rub it in.
00:47:11.000 laughter That is Norm Macdonald.
00:47:18.000 That's brilliant.
00:47:20.000 That is so true.
00:47:21.000 But, you know, I wasn't for Hillary and I was a woman, and that was like a big no-no.
00:47:26.000 Right.
00:47:27.000 That's all it basically comes down to.
00:47:30.000 Yeah.
00:47:30.000 Because it was the woman's turn.
00:47:32.000 But, you know, I just want a government that works for the American people.
00:47:37.000 I pay taxes and I expect something for my taxes.
00:47:41.000 And, you know, here's news to all of them out there, including POTUS. I think at some time the American people need to audit what happened to their tax monies, and I think we should all have a say in what this country does with our hard-earned dollars.
00:47:57.000 And don't just assume you speak for us, because obviously you don't, or we wouldn't have a trade deficit of $20 trillion.
00:48:08.000 S-T-F-U. And let the American people handle what they should handle in this country.
00:48:16.000 It's a republic.
00:48:17.000 And it runs on the consent of the governed.
00:48:22.000 And it's really, really time to talk about that.
00:48:25.000 Now, when you say social justice warriors that you had to work with, like specifically, what were the issues that you were dealing with?
00:48:32.000 Well, Trump was the big elephant in the room.
00:48:35.000 My support for Trump.
00:48:37.000 And just their patronizing shite, can I call it?
00:48:42.000 Yeah.
00:48:43.000 Well, we have to remember that the...
00:48:46.000 I mean, I'm going to paraphrase, but it was a lot...
00:48:49.000 Well, you know, the ignorant, unwashed people who voted for Trump.
00:48:53.000 It's not their fault.
00:48:55.000 That was kind of what it was like.
00:48:59.000 And...
00:49:02.000 Because I said, well, you know, it was working class people that elected Trump, so I really can't, I can't let you say that to me, because it's not true.
00:49:12.000 You know, they already had in their head what it means.
00:49:15.000 And of course they are wrong, like they're wrong about, you know, this being about, you know, that Kavanaugh being about abortion rights.
00:49:25.000 They're wrong about that too.
00:49:28.000 How are they wrong about that?
00:49:30.000 Because I don't think, you know, he said pretty much that, you know, you can't overturn something that's in law.
00:49:36.000 Roe versus Wade.
00:49:37.000 Yeah.
00:49:37.000 Yeah.
00:49:38.000 But, you know, they fear mongered to get everybody thinking that's what they were after.
00:49:43.000 And I don't think it is what they were.
00:49:45.000 I don't think that is why they wanted to.
00:49:47.000 Well, I think they're concerned with anything that Trump's trying to pass.
00:49:50.000 Anyone that Trump's trying to get to the Supreme Court, any bills that Trump's trying to pass.
00:49:54.000 Well, then they should put on their...
00:49:57.000 Adult pants and get involved and make sure that he represents, you know, the will of the people of this country.
00:50:05.000 You have to become involved in the process then.
00:50:08.000 But don't just sit there on your butt criticizing everybody and calling everybody names.
00:50:13.000 That's really not any kind of a justice warrior.
00:50:16.000 That's all phony.
00:50:18.000 You've got to get involved.
00:50:19.000 Right.
00:50:20.000 Now, when you were first approached about doing a Roseanne relaunch, when they came to you, how did this all take place?
00:50:31.000 And did you get to pick the people that you work with?
00:50:38.000 I had already said about a year prior to that that I supported Trump over Hillary.
00:50:43.000 And it was like, you know, a big...
00:50:45.000 It was in all the papers in Hollywood.
00:50:48.000 How could she?
00:50:49.000 And, you know, this and that and the other.
00:50:52.000 But it didn't seem to bother the American people.
00:50:54.000 No.
00:50:54.000 Well, they're my audience.
00:50:56.000 Well, you know, I always try to make content for the audience, not for the critics.
00:51:01.000 Right.
00:51:01.000 And not for the industry.
00:51:03.000 Not for the industry, no.
00:51:04.000 The industry is ruthlessly left.
00:51:06.000 Like, to the point where it's not even a thinking thing.
00:51:09.000 It's just like they automatically go left because that's the way you're accepted in this town.
00:51:15.000 That's the way you stay working.
00:51:17.000 That's the way you stay invited to all the good parties.
00:51:20.000 Well, that's the way that certain Stalinist types in show business keep it.
00:51:26.000 You know, everything about the media is tightly controlled in Hollywood.
00:51:32.000 So who came to you with the relaunch?
00:51:35.000 How does it happen that Roseanne has canceled for so long?
00:51:39.000 John and Sarah, they did a sketch on Sarah's talk show, and everyone liked it, and Sarah called me.
00:51:48.000 She said, John said he's in if you're in.
00:51:53.000 So you say, let's do it.
00:51:55.000 Well, if John's in, of course.
00:51:57.000 Is Lori in?
00:51:58.000 Yeah, Lori's in.
00:51:59.000 Okay, yeah, let's do it.
00:52:02.000 So who turned on you after this was over?
00:52:09.000 Well, my coven of lawyers advises I not get into this at this time.
00:52:14.000 You know, I think it's self-explanatory.
00:52:16.000 Well, people could find out.
00:52:17.000 Yeah.
00:52:18.000 I don't know that they turned on me.
00:52:20.000 I think it was always that way since, you know, I came in and said, I said, somebody on the show has to be a Trump supporter and none of them would do it.
00:52:33.000 I'm like, it's a great role.
00:52:36.000 You could do it.
00:52:37.000 You're the kind of person who would.
00:52:39.000 And they were like, no.
00:52:41.000 So I said, okay, well then I'll do it because I did vote for him and everybody knows it.
00:52:46.000 Well, people forget Archie Bunker.
00:52:49.000 It's one of the greatest characters in the history of sitcoms.
00:52:52.000 Nobody wants to be the quote-unquote, you know, other.
00:52:56.000 The bad person.
00:52:57.000 The bad guy in Hollywood.
00:52:59.000 Or, you know, be the other in Hollywood.
00:53:02.000 But, you know, I was up for it.
00:53:05.000 I thought it would be great.
00:53:06.000 I thought it would be, you know, I'd get some lines in there from the other side once in a while.
00:53:11.000 You know, I let them say all they want to say.
00:53:14.000 I never told them, don't say that about him, don't this and that.
00:53:18.000 Like the day of the filming, you know, I'd been saying, you know, I let my writers do their writing, you know, but I lay out all the stories or approve them, you know.
00:53:31.000 And so it was that first show and I'm waiting for a line about Hillary.
00:53:39.000 I go, I let you have seven Trump jokes in this show and you can't even one fucking Hillary joke?
00:53:46.000 They didn't want a Hillary joke?
00:53:47.000 No.
00:53:48.000 What was the Hillary joke?
00:53:49.000 Do you remember?
00:53:49.000 I said, you better get me a Hillary joke, bitch.
00:53:54.000 I did.
00:53:56.000 I go, it ain't about you.
00:53:57.000 Your name ain't on this shit.
00:53:58.000 What did they say about it?
00:53:59.000 Like, why did they not want a Hillary joke?
00:54:01.000 Did they have an explanation for it?
00:54:03.000 No, but everybody knew.
00:54:06.000 They wanted Hillary.
00:54:07.000 Yeah.
00:54:08.000 They felt it would go against their morals to say that there's another way to vote or to acknowledge that half the country voted that way.
00:54:19.000 Or that she's extremely flawed.
00:54:22.000 Well, at that point, they didn't care.
00:54:24.000 That's what's weird about it.
00:54:26.000 Isn't it?
00:54:26.000 The whole thing's weird.
00:54:27.000 There's a complete denial of reality.
00:54:29.000 It's like this has nothing to do with women.
00:54:32.000 It has nothing to do with liberals.
00:54:34.000 You're talking about an extremely flawed person.
00:54:37.000 Well, I'm not going to talk about her as a person.
00:54:40.000 I'll just talk about her concepts and her voting record.
00:54:43.000 Okay, let's not even use the word person.
00:54:44.000 Politician.
00:54:46.000 Extremely flawed politician.
00:54:48.000 With a background of deep corruption.
00:54:51.000 And lies.
00:54:53.000 Demonstratable lies.
00:54:55.000 Like, we're not talking about some amazing gem.
00:54:59.000 You know?
00:55:01.000 Well...
00:55:04.000 Let's just put it like this.
00:55:05.000 A lot of us people who liked Bernie voted for Trump.
00:55:11.000 Yes.
00:55:11.000 Let's put it like that.
00:55:13.000 Yeah.
00:55:13.000 Well, especially when they found out, when Donna Brazile's book came out, they found out what they had done to Bernie during the primaries.
00:55:21.000 Yeah.
00:55:21.000 Yeah.
00:55:22.000 It's dark shit.
00:55:23.000 Yeah.
00:55:24.000 It's dark that everybody was like, whatever, whatever.
00:55:27.000 They said nobody will vote for a Jew.
00:55:29.000 They'd use that one.
00:55:31.000 It's hilarious.
00:55:32.000 In the South.
00:55:33.000 To this day.
00:55:34.000 To this day, they're still doing stupid shit like that.
00:55:36.000 But, you know, I didn't want her, even though she's a woman.
00:55:39.000 But, you know, I did want her in 2008. I wanted her, not Obama.
00:55:45.000 Because I liked her health care plan better at that time.
00:55:48.000 When I was still, you know, before I walked away.
00:55:54.000 So, you know, they're doing a whole march.
00:55:56.000 I might show up.
00:55:58.000 A march for what?
00:55:58.000 Walk away.
00:55:59.000 Walk away from what?
00:56:01.000 The Democrat Party.
00:56:03.000 Who is they?
00:56:04.000 Who's doing this?
00:56:05.000 A whole bunch of kids.
00:56:07.000 Youths.
00:56:08.000 And what's the idea?
00:56:09.000 October 27th across from the White House.
00:56:13.000 They're going to walk from the DNC to that park there and make statements.
00:56:17.000 But walking away to where?
00:56:19.000 To an independent party?
00:56:20.000 No.
00:56:21.000 To a libertarian?
00:56:22.000 They're going Republican.
00:56:24.000 Republican.
00:56:25.000 That's what's bizarre, the polar opposites, the right and the left, the blue and the red.
00:56:29.000 And all those guys golf together.
00:56:31.000 Let's cut through the bullshit.
00:56:33.000 They're all making deals and scratching each other's back, whether from one party or the other.
00:56:38.000 Come on.
00:56:39.000 Well, Trump paid Clinton to be at his wedding.
00:56:42.000 He did?
00:56:43.000 Yeah.
00:56:44.000 Wow, that's smart.
00:56:45.000 He got a photo op and a half out of that one.
00:56:48.000 I mean, he paid those people forever.
00:56:50.000 It's one of the reasons why, when he was campaigning, he had so much animosity towards them and towards the system that he was a part of for so long.
00:57:00.000 He was a Democrat most of his life.
00:57:01.000 I know.
00:57:02.000 Well, he's getting it, too.
00:57:06.000 But that just proves it right there.
00:57:10.000 You know, they give money to both parties.
00:57:13.000 You know, in Hollywood, they don't just give it to the Democrat Party.
00:57:16.000 They give the Republican Party too, but they stay silent about that.
00:57:20.000 It's kind of smart to cover your bets, you know, which government contract you're going to be able to dip into.
00:57:27.000 And isn't that like what Hollywood's really all about?
00:57:30.000 Well, there's so many levels to it, right?
00:57:32.000 I mean, there's the blatant tribalism of right versus left, where people pick a side, and they adopt a predetermined pattern of behavior, and they adopt a conglomeration of ideas and opinions.
00:57:43.000 They download the program.
00:57:44.000 Yes.
00:57:44.000 And they're just bots.
00:57:46.000 Exactly.
00:57:46.000 They parrot everything.
00:57:47.000 And then below the surface, you've got geopolitical aspirations, and you have the global war machine.
00:57:55.000 Yeah.
00:57:55.000 Yeah, and that's what you have, the money, the real money.
00:57:58.000 But you know what, Joe?
00:57:59.000 I always say, and people call me a whatever they call me, but I have optimism, and I've said for a long time, when the right people are at the controls of all the machinery and technology, that will be so great for humanity.
00:58:16.000 We have it right within our grasp to make sure that this is a good place for all kids.
00:58:22.000 We could do that tomorrow.
00:58:23.000 So I think we should start thinking about that and all this artificial intelligence that gets us fighting with each other.
00:58:30.000 Let's just step out of it like the matrix, you know?
00:58:33.000 Let's go to a new place where we're about solutions and working together and bringing this country together and getting some real good jobs, real good health care, things that we pay taxes for, better streets, good education, the things we pay taxes for.
00:58:47.000 Yeah.
00:58:48.000 And mental health.
00:58:49.000 Most of all, I think that's what we need, particularly for our veterans.
00:58:52.000 They come back and they're untreated and they won't even give them marijuana, which really helps.
00:58:58.000 They won't even legalize that for, you know, people who have PTS. And marijuana does help with PTS. And, you know...
00:59:07.000 You know, talk about supporting our troops.
00:59:09.000 22 of them a day are killing themselves.
00:59:12.000 They're homeless.
00:59:13.000 I mean, that's who we are.
00:59:15.000 I don't want that to be who we are.
00:59:17.000 Come on.
00:59:18.000 People think nobody can see us and what we do.
00:59:21.000 But they do.
00:59:22.000 And they want it right.
00:59:24.000 People want things to be right and used for the good of all people.
00:59:28.000 And stop tearing people apart from each other.
00:59:31.000 We're neighbors.
00:59:32.000 You know, that was why I wanted to go back to The Roseanne Show and say all those things.
00:59:35.000 And I'm so happy that I did.
00:59:37.000 I did it in nine episodes.
00:59:38.000 I wanted a tenth season.
00:59:40.000 And I did all nine episodes were exactly the episodes I wanted to do.
00:59:45.000 And it was number one every week.
00:59:47.000 And I just thank my fans for that, you know.
00:59:51.000 A turn of fortune, but I did what I wanted to do, and it was so gratifying and so wonderful.
01:00:00.000 And I don't want that to be forgotten.
01:00:02.000 I don't want the ninth season to disappear.
01:00:04.000 I mean, the tenth season to disappear.
01:00:06.000 What do you think about them doing it without you?
01:00:11.000 How fucking weird is that?
01:00:13.000 It is weird.
01:00:14.000 I'm like, oh, I get it.
01:00:15.000 They're sending me a subtle message to OD on opioids.
01:00:21.000 Is that what you think?
01:00:23.000 Yeah, that's some of it.
01:00:25.000 Mind control stuff, yeah.
01:00:27.000 So you think that they want you to kill yourself?
01:00:30.000 Well, I don't know why they would do what they did.
01:00:32.000 Let's just put it that way.
01:00:33.000 It doesn't make any sense.
01:00:35.000 I just think they're being completely inconsiderate and they don't care about you.
01:00:38.000 No, they don't.
01:00:39.000 And they so belittled my contribution to the show, too.
01:00:45.000 It just, you know, was shocking.
01:00:46.000 That was the most painful part of the whole thing.
01:00:49.000 Well, one of the things that I read was that you hadn't considered the more than 100 people that work on the show when you did what you did.
01:00:56.000 And I'm like, that's a ridiculous statement.
01:00:58.000 I didn't cancel the show.
01:00:59.000 Well, not only did you not cancel the show, you were on Ambien drunk tweeting.
01:01:03.000 The idea that you did this, this was some sort of a deliberate ploy to get the show canceled.
01:01:08.000 Or the idea that there was any justification that your show should be canceled at all.
01:01:13.000 Like, you can't just say something that you didn't want to come out that way and apologize for it.
01:01:19.000 They don't know who you are.
01:01:20.000 And I did apologize.
01:01:20.000 I apologized.
01:01:21.000 You did apologize, but they don't know who you are.
01:01:23.000 I apologized for three months.
01:01:24.000 No.
01:01:25.000 Yeah, they don't know who you are.
01:01:26.000 No, they tried to wipe me off the map of the culture.
01:01:32.000 Because people are scared to be connected with anybody who's a target.
01:01:35.000 Yeah.
01:01:35.000 And they acted like cowards.
01:01:37.000 I wouldn't have.
01:01:38.000 I mean, if it were my friend, definitely I would have, of years, of two decades or more, I would have said something, but that's just me.
01:01:47.000 And I definitely, one thing I would never have done is stabbed somebody in the rush to condemn somebody who, you know, was my biggest advocate.
01:02:03.000 Well, there was a lot of that.
01:02:04.000 And sometimes an only advocate.
01:02:05.000 There was a lot of that.
01:02:06.000 I saw a lot of that.
01:02:07.000 Yeah, but I just thought, oh, that's just about them.
01:02:10.000 It's just about them.
01:02:10.000 It's not about me.
01:02:12.000 I just let go of all of it because, you know, I am a person of belief and I just always try to do what's right in front of me.
01:02:22.000 I feel like what, you know, my higher intelligence plays in front of me, I'll do it because it knows better than me.
01:02:31.000 Which is why I don't think like other people.
01:02:38.000 That I was not going to fight, not at 66. I'm too old.
01:02:43.000 I'm pretty frail.
01:02:44.000 And I think, you know, I worked really hard to get a second season.
01:02:47.000 And it's kind of ironic.
01:02:48.000 I crossed time zones to do promotion for free for months.
01:02:53.000 And, you know, during that time, when you're old and you can't sleep and you're crossing time zones, going from Hawaii to New York and back and then back again and back again, you know...
01:03:08.000 You know, I kind of became dependent on Ambien and I, you know, almost every night took it.
01:03:14.000 And, you know, obviously something was wrong because I didn't think, I thought that Tweet was about a science fiction movie,
01:03:30.000 which happens to be my favorite movie, and which I think is very apt in the world today, particularly in Iran, where just a small group of corrupt leaders are oppressing the citizens.
01:03:49.000 And I think there's a lot of references in that movie that Go along with what's happening in Iran, of the human beings rising up to overthrow their overlords.
01:04:06.000 And that's how I was looking at the whole thing.
01:04:08.000 So when I woke up to tweet there, that was what was in my head.
01:04:11.000 It was certainly not somebody's looks.
01:04:13.000 And it was also about the Arab Spring in Egypt, which, you know, Obama, he didn't handle it right.
01:04:27.000 And so all those things are interrelated with Iran and the Iran deal, the Iran nuclear deal.
01:04:33.000 You know, I'm...
01:04:36.000 I'm extremely well-read on that subject.
01:04:39.000 I certainly wouldn't be at the height of my power and my fame being on there going, somebody looks like a monkey.
01:04:47.000 Excuse me, I'm not an idiot, okay?
01:04:50.000 I wouldn't be on there, you look like a monkey.
01:04:53.000 I'm a well-read and intelligent woman, and my word and things that I write to people over in that part of the world, they're...
01:05:03.000 I've brought a lot of people together in that part of the world with my tweets.
01:05:07.000 And most of my tweets are, you know, spiritual in nature anyway.
01:05:12.000 So it wasn't what people thought it was.
01:05:17.000 And still, I apologize for inadvertently hurting anyone's feelings.
01:05:24.000 Still, I apologize for inadvertently.
01:05:27.000 And not, you know, I apologize that they were wrong and they misheard it.
01:05:32.000 I misunderstood it, but that wasn't good enough either.
01:05:34.000 And, you know, just get to a point where I go, I'm letting go of it.
01:05:38.000 My fans who know me and my family and people who like me and know me for my life, they know who I am and that's all that matters.
01:05:47.000 You know, they can call me whatever they want.
01:05:49.000 I don't accept their definition of that word.
01:05:51.000 And I think that they should read more.
01:05:55.000 Well, one of the things that's most shocking about this outrage culture that we live in right now, this age of outrage, is that there's no path to redemption.
01:06:06.000 There's no acceptance of apologies.
01:06:12.000 There is, though.
01:06:13.000 But there's not from the general public.
01:06:15.000 Oh yeah, the public, everywhere I went, people run up to me.
01:06:19.000 I've never felt so much love in my entire career, in real life.
01:06:23.000 But not on Twitter.
01:06:24.000 Oh no, not on social media.
01:06:26.000 Right, not on social media.
01:06:27.000 Social media, it magnifies the very worst aspects of humanity because you're not interacting with people in the real flesh.
01:06:35.000 Right.
01:06:36.000 You're not experiencing social cues.
01:06:38.000 You're not looking them in the eye.
01:06:39.000 You're not seeing them as a person.
01:06:41.000 You're just seeing them as a target online.
01:06:43.000 Well, I think that Twitter is a purposeful plan, like Facebook.
01:06:49.000 I got off Facebook years ago because I realized what they were doing.
01:06:52.000 What do you think Twitter's doing?
01:06:54.000 It's doing the same thing that Facebook did.
01:06:56.000 How so?
01:06:57.000 It's manufacturing consent.
01:07:00.000 And, you know, he's using bots to do it.
01:07:03.000 What do you mean by manufacturing consent?
01:07:05.000 It's a place where, like Noam Chomsky says, you know, the press manufactures consent.
01:07:11.000 The consent of the governed.
01:07:14.000 So that's what they're doing is manufacturing the consent of the governed.
01:07:18.000 But they also manufacture dissent.
01:07:20.000 They control the opposition too on Twitter.
01:07:22.000 And I like getting in between those two and causing a ruckus.
01:07:26.000 Because I knew it was all artificial intelligence anyway.
01:07:29.000 It's all just to track us.
01:07:31.000 We all know that.
01:07:32.000 Just like they do in China.
01:07:35.000 So what are you saying?
01:07:37.000 You think there's some sort of a grand plan to get people to argue with each other?
01:07:41.000 Yeah, I think it's a social experiment to turn one group against another, which, you know, it's smart because it's divide and conquer.
01:07:49.000 And as long as we're like, you know, it's all these people getting robbed, all these taxpayers getting robbed, sitting there pointing to other taxpayers that are getting robbed and blaming them.
01:08:00.000 But everybody needs to look upward of our government ask for an audit of our taxes and actually take responsibility for the things our country does.
01:08:08.000 We're getting judged for it anyway.
01:08:09.000 I think there's certainly people that are capitalizing.
01:08:12.000 I think there's certainly people that are capitalizing on all this chaos and all the conflict.
01:08:18.000 But I don't think it's manufactured.
01:08:20.000 I don't think it's engineered.
01:08:21.000 I just think it's happening because this is a new thing.
01:08:25.000 You think it just has a mind of its own?
01:08:27.000 I think people have a mind of their own and people are inherently tribal.
01:08:31.000 There's almost no way to stop them from being tribal.
01:08:33.000 Well, I like that people are tribal.
01:08:36.000 But the problem with tribalism is that you sometimes have enemies that are unnecessary.
01:08:39.000 So you develop this idea that you're part of a group.
01:08:43.000 Or you could have allies on common ground.
01:08:45.000 Well, that would be nice if we all looked at ourselves as a tribal world.
01:08:49.000 That's how I do look at the world and why I didn't want Hillary Clinton, because her party is very much for corporate law.
01:08:56.000 And the Republican Party is very much for tribal law.
01:09:00.000 And I am a tribal person, and I think tribal people should, you know, have their land.
01:09:07.000 Tribal in what way?
01:09:08.000 How are you tribal?
01:09:09.000 Me?
01:09:10.000 Yeah.
01:09:11.000 Well, I'm Jewish.
01:09:15.000 When I go over there to the Middle East, I visit the graves of my teachers.
01:09:22.000 That's how I'm tribal.
01:09:24.000 I go to their graves, and that's what we do.
01:09:27.000 That's what all indigenous people do.
01:09:30.000 They want to control their sacred burial grounds, and that is anti-corporate law, and that's why I'm anti-corporate law.
01:09:39.000 I like to study papal bulls and corporate law and maritime law and all that kind of stuff.
01:09:46.000 You know, I like to read.
01:09:47.000 So I have a lot of information.
01:09:49.000 And, you know, it makes me angry or sad is more that the work of an artist over 30 years, they think that we just pull that out of their ass and that they can copy it, you know.
01:10:02.000 Without the artist, they can copy it.
01:10:05.000 You mean your show?
01:10:06.000 I do.
01:10:06.000 Yeah.
01:10:06.000 Yeah.
01:10:07.000 And it is, you know, all the stuff I suffered in my life I put into that show.
01:10:13.000 That show is about my family, my children.
01:10:18.000 And it's just like, wow, it's so huge.
01:10:21.000 It's so huge.
01:10:23.000 It's beyond entitled.
01:10:25.000 What is their plan?
01:10:28.000 And how were they able to do that?
01:10:30.000 Did you let them?
01:10:31.000 Yeah, I signed off.
01:10:32.000 They asked me to.
01:10:33.000 Why did you sign off?
01:10:35.000 Because I felt like I would be a huge hypocrite to have talked 30 years or more in my life about labor rights and the rights of working people if I took away those 200 people's jobs.
01:10:49.000 So that's why I did it.
01:10:51.000 I wanted them to work.
01:10:52.000 I know how they had planned on another season and they probably had already spent the money.
01:10:58.000 Was there any consideration of redemption?
01:11:00.000 Was there any path where they could allow you to apologize or do something that would endear yourself to the people where they would accept your apology?
01:11:09.000 I said, let me go on all your ABC shows and explain my tweet and how it was a political and not a racial tweet.
01:11:18.000 And, you know, that was denied me.
01:11:23.000 It's like you can't say anything until you sign off.
01:11:25.000 You can't say anything until you sign off.
01:11:28.000 So they wanted you to sign off the rights and then they would have you do whatever you wanted to do, go on their interview shows.
01:11:33.000 No, they didn't guarantee that.
01:11:34.000 They didn't guarantee that.
01:11:35.000 So they just wanted you to sign off and they offered you nothing in return.
01:11:39.000 They offered me some money.
01:11:42.000 But the idea was just to be able to redo the show.
01:11:45.000 Yeah, to take all those years of my ideas and how I thought of 20 years of those situations to come back.
01:11:52.000 It took me 20 years to figure out how would these characters, where would they be now?
01:11:56.000 And I did that by living among regular and normal people for 20 years.
01:12:01.000 I never lived behind, you know, racially segregated gates like other stars.
01:12:09.000 I lived in working people's neighborhoods and I farm around farmers and I wasn't going to be that big of a hypocrite.
01:12:17.000 You have a macadamia nut farm.
01:12:18.000 I sure do.
01:12:19.000 It's gorgeous.
01:12:20.000 You should come and see it sometime.
01:12:22.000 I love to come see it.
01:12:23.000 I love the big island.
01:12:24.000 Isn't it gorgeous?
01:12:25.000 It's amazing.
01:12:26.000 People are dumb there though today.
01:12:27.000 You know what I read?
01:12:28.000 Some people.
01:12:30.000 Some lady took a boat full of people too close to the volcano to look at it.
01:12:35.000 And the lava overtook their boat and thank God none of them were killed.
01:12:40.000 But they got like about two feet up on the lava.
01:12:43.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.
01:12:44.000 So don't do that, Hawaiians.
01:12:46.000 Don't do that.
01:12:47.000 Somebody got hit with a flying chunk of rock.
01:12:49.000 They got good weed there.
01:12:49.000 That's probably why.
01:12:50.000 It's pretty good weed.
01:12:51.000 Yeah.
01:12:52.000 They got hit by a flying chunk of rock from the volcano on one of the boats, too.
01:12:55.000 They were having lava tourism and someone got clipped by a rock.
01:12:59.000 It's so not smart.
01:13:01.000 It's so stupid.
01:13:02.000 It's a dangerous, dangerous situation.
01:13:06.000 Don't go on those tours.
01:13:07.000 Is your area safe?
01:13:10.000 My area flooded a bit.
01:13:11.000 I had to replace my roads for about the 10th time in 10 years.
01:13:16.000 I always got to replace my roads.
01:13:18.000 I really got into making roads.
01:13:20.000 That's one thing that I really did enjoy.
01:13:21.000 So I'll be headed back there and be making more roads.
01:13:24.000 So I'm excited about it.
01:13:26.000 I can cut a road like nobody's business.
01:13:28.000 I want to write a book.
01:13:30.000 My granny is a scout.
01:13:34.000 Because I do scout the jungle and make a road in there.
01:13:38.000 I love the attitude of people that live on the Big Island.
01:13:41.000 It's a very relaxed, laid-back, friendly attitude.
01:13:44.000 They just have all the time in the world.
01:13:47.000 It's a different sort of vibe when you go there.
01:13:49.000 Yeah, everybody helps their neighbors there.
01:13:51.000 They don't, like, turn them in.
01:13:54.000 Everybody helps out their neighbors, and their neighbors are like every kind of people you can think of.
01:14:01.000 It's a very diverse cultural Mecca.
01:14:07.000 How did you end up living out there?
01:14:08.000 Well, I went there because my son Buck, I made him go to the school out there.
01:14:13.000 So then I bought a place right by the school because this kid, you know, he's 23 now so he probably won't get mad, but he had some severe ADHD there.
01:14:26.000 So I had to do what I did to get him Now he just graduated from college.
01:14:32.000 He's doing real good.
01:14:34.000 Nice.
01:14:34.000 Yeah.
01:14:35.000 He's my first college grad.
01:14:38.000 Mm-hmm.
01:14:39.000 All right.
01:14:41.000 ADHD, maybe he's a comic.
01:14:42.000 Yeah, he's so funny.
01:14:43.000 Oh, my God.
01:14:44.000 He's so hilarious.
01:14:46.000 Maybe he's a comic just waiting.
01:14:48.000 I think so.
01:14:48.000 Sure, it's in his DNA. All my grandkids are, too.
01:14:51.000 They're all waiting.
01:14:51.000 The video that you showed me.
01:14:55.000 They're all hilarious.
01:14:56.000 Yeah, they seem very funny.
01:15:00.000 What are they going to do to your character on the show?
01:15:02.000 They're going to kill you off?
01:15:05.000 Yeah, I think they did.
01:15:07.000 They didn't tell you?
01:15:08.000 No, they didn't tell me.
01:15:09.000 Some of my spies told me.
01:15:11.000 How weird is it they're taking you out of Roseanne, they're calling it the Connors, it's all going on without you being there.
01:15:20.000 What does that feel like?
01:15:24.000 It's a mind warp and a mind fuck.
01:15:28.000 You know, so I'm just trying to deal with it.
01:15:30.000 All from a tweet.
01:15:31.000 Yeah.
01:15:32.000 A misunderstood tweet.
01:15:35.000 A misunderstood tweet while you're on Ambien, while you're drunk.
01:15:39.000 I wasn't drunk.
01:15:40.000 I only had like one or two beers.
01:15:43.000 Well, when you have one or two beers with Ambien.
01:15:45.000 Yeah.
01:15:46.000 I guess you're drunk.
01:15:47.000 You're fucked up.
01:15:48.000 I was.
01:15:49.000 Yeah.
01:15:49.000 I wasn't in...
01:15:50.000 And smoking pot too, right?
01:15:51.000 No, I don't think I'd smoke pot then.
01:15:54.000 No, I didn't smoke pot then.
01:15:58.000 I was at my mom's house.
01:16:00.000 I was puffing on the cigs.
01:16:02.000 I went down in the basement.
01:16:03.000 I was hiding down there in the basement because they were surrounding my mom's house.
01:16:08.000 Paparazzis and such.
01:16:09.000 And so I was down in the basement and that's where I always used to go when I was like 13. And I found this stuff and chalk on the walls of the basement there that I remembered right when I was 13. Wow.
01:16:22.000 And then I found an old butt from when I snuck cigs when I was 13. Did you try to smoke it?
01:16:28.000 Oh, hell yeah, it smoked good.
01:16:29.000 No, I'm kidding.
01:16:32.000 But I was hiding down there smoking.
01:16:36.000 They were knocking on my mom's door and I was like, oh my God.
01:16:39.000 So my boyfriend got the door.
01:16:41.000 He's like a big man, you know.
01:16:43.000 He's like, may I help you?
01:16:45.000 You know, that's my man character.
01:16:48.000 And...
01:16:50.000 I thought they were going to, you know, say something.
01:16:52.000 And they're like, we just please tell Roseanne we love her.
01:16:56.000 And, you know, we don't like this and blah, blah.
01:16:59.000 And that was happening all the time.
01:17:01.000 And that's when I was like, geez, I've never, ever felt this kind of affection from people in all my career.
01:17:12.000 So it's kind of a Cool.
01:17:16.000 That's the thing.
01:17:17.000 There's the social media outrage and then there's the people in real life that feel terrible for you because they feel like you got a raw deal.
01:17:24.000 Yeah, they think that there are so many double standards of people who said things on the air.
01:17:31.000 Remember, I just said it to a small population, less than 600,000 people on Twitter.
01:17:38.000 But these people say things on the air, and they are not.
01:17:41.000 Well, I know Joy had to call Pence and apologize, so...
01:17:45.000 Yeah, what did Joey Behar say about Pence that was so bad?
01:17:48.000 Something about his Christian faith.
01:17:50.000 Yeah, that they're psychotic or something because they...
01:17:53.000 So she called him and apologized?
01:17:55.000 Yeah, that's what I heard.
01:17:57.000 You know, an apology with your network behind you really works.
01:18:02.000 Like with, what's her name, that called Ivanka the names?
01:18:06.000 I can't remember.
01:18:06.000 Oh, Samantha Bee?
01:18:07.000 Yeah.
01:18:07.000 And her network was behind her.
01:18:10.000 And that was far more offensive.
01:18:11.000 And it was on the air.
01:18:12.000 Yeah.
01:18:13.000 But when your network is not behind you, you don't really...
01:18:17.000 Well, it wasn't a racial thing.
01:18:20.000 They didn't want me to tweet.
01:18:22.000 The whole truth is, I told them I wasn't going to tweet, and I promised them over and over.
01:18:29.000 And although they never sent it in writing, which was required, but anyway, they called my publicist and unloaded on him all the time.
01:18:38.000 And, you know, I should have stayed off Twitter.
01:18:40.000 I did it to myself.
01:18:41.000 And, you know, I made a mistake.
01:18:44.000 And the ball kept rolling.
01:18:46.000 But it's just crazy that this, what I think is an insignificant mistake, especially in light of your apology, could lead to no redemption possible.
01:18:56.000 Yeah.
01:18:56.000 That no redemption possible, that this giant fucking hit show.
01:19:00.000 And look, I don't know what's going to happen with the Conners, but I think it's going to fail.
01:19:04.000 If you asked me, if I had some money to bet, if I was in Vegas, that shit ain't going to work.
01:19:09.000 How are you going to do Roseanne without Roseanne?
01:19:12.000 If you wanted to have a whole new sitcom with all those people with a totally unrelated storyline, that's one thing.
01:19:18.000 But you don't think America's gonna know that they killed you off?
01:19:21.000 Like, what the fuck is that?
01:19:23.000 And now, with time and consideration, after time has passed and people can review everything, they're gonna go, is it really this bad?
01:19:31.000 And they're going to think about their own lives.
01:19:33.000 Like, what about me?
01:19:34.000 What if I say something fucked up?
01:19:36.000 They should do that.
01:19:37.000 What if I take Ambien and accidentally say something crazy and don't even remember saying it, and then it's misconstrued or it comes out wrong?
01:19:44.000 Is that going to ruin my whole life?
01:19:46.000 Like, how can you have someone ruin their whole life for something that is misconstrued?
01:19:51.000 That they did at 17 also.
01:19:54.000 You know, really?
01:19:56.000 I mean, that's why I think, first of all, us women, we need to do a better job of raising our sons.
01:20:03.000 But at 17, everyone's out of their friggin' mind.
01:20:06.000 I have five kids.
01:20:07.000 There's not a one of them who didn't do something horrendous at age 17. Well, we were just talking about that with Andrew Santino who was in here earlier.
01:20:16.000 Yeah, when young men, especially young men that don't get a birds and the bees speech and who knows what the fuck is going on in their home, you know, people do stupid shit.
01:20:25.000 My son that went to college, Buck, he says he learned the day he started college they gave out this pamphlet on sexual assault to all the boys.
01:20:34.000 I guess they gave it to the girls too.
01:20:36.000 But he said he read it and he realized it was any kind of sexuality at all.
01:20:41.000 Don't even do it.
01:20:43.000 And I told both my sons, if you're going to have sex with somebody, you make them sign a consent form and take it to their lawyer and get it properly notarized and then make a date for after that happens.
01:20:56.000 Even that's not good enough.
01:20:57.000 It's a dangerous time for our sons and our daughters.
01:21:00.000 Well, it's always a dangerous time for women, right?
01:21:03.000 If you're with the wrong man.
01:21:05.000 Well, or the wrong woman.
01:21:07.000 Are you shitting me?
01:21:08.000 Women are just as horrible as men.
01:21:10.000 Well, women are horrible with women, too.
01:21:12.000 Women are more horrible to women.
01:21:13.000 One of the statistics on sexual assault and rape amongst lesbian couples, it's pretty bad.
01:21:19.000 But, I mean, what about rape in the prisons?
01:21:22.000 I mean, nobody talks about that.
01:21:24.000 That's the real rape culture where men are learning, you know...
01:21:28.000 It's terrible.
01:21:29.000 Well, yeah.
01:21:30.000 Well, we can get into depth about how bad prisons are in general and how people aren't redeemed.
01:21:34.000 I watch that Orange is the New Black, so I know.
01:21:37.000 I've never seen it.
01:21:38.000 It's great.
01:21:39.000 Oh, my God.
01:21:40.000 It's great.
01:21:41.000 But the problem with, you know, there's no rehabilitation.
01:21:43.000 It's very, very little at least.
01:21:45.000 There's no forgiveness.
01:21:46.000 In prisons, what you're doing is you take people and you make them better criminals or make them more hardened criminals.
01:21:52.000 You surround them with other criminals.
01:21:53.000 You give them a horrible living environment.
01:21:55.000 You abuse them further because most prisoners are in there because they're abused children.
01:22:00.000 Well, and what percentage of prisoners are in there for nonviolent drug offenses?
01:22:03.000 That's what really drives me crazy.
01:22:05.000 Fucking insane.
01:22:06.000 That's when I ran for prison.
01:22:07.000 I ran on legalization of marijuana for that exact reason.
01:22:10.000 Well, slowly but surely, that's becoming a mainstream idea.
01:22:14.000 I'm glad.
01:22:14.000 I'm glad, too.
01:22:15.000 I mean, as a rabid pot user, I love it.
01:22:20.000 I think marijuana makes you a more sensitive, aware person.
01:22:25.000 It definitely makes you paranoid, but I think that paranoia allows you to understand All the danger in the world that you're probably ignoring.
01:22:33.000 Yeah, like I was with Marge, you know.
01:22:37.000 Once I started smoking pot, then I got real paranoid of people, and that was a good thing.
01:22:42.000 You should be paranoid of people.
01:22:44.000 You should be aware, for sure.
01:22:45.000 Particularly if you watch cable TV, for Christ's sake.
01:22:49.000 That ID channel.
01:22:51.000 What are you doing now?
01:22:53.000 Like, what are you gonna do now?
01:22:54.000 You were saying that you have some other things cooking.
01:23:00.000 You know, I got 20,000 ideas a day.
01:23:03.000 Why don't you do something like this?
01:23:04.000 I gotta focus into something.
01:23:06.000 Why don't you do this?
01:23:07.000 Like something like this?
01:23:09.000 So easy.
01:23:10.000 I thought about it, but you said you'd help me.
01:23:12.000 I will help you.
01:23:13.000 I just can't.
01:23:14.000 I don't know how to write in a fucking password and turn this shit on.
01:23:19.000 Listen, you don't need that.
01:23:20.000 We can get you connected to someone who can do that for you.
01:23:22.000 That shit's easy.
01:23:23.000 I'd like to talk to other people who've fallen from grace and see how they get back up.
01:23:28.000 But the real truth of it is that there is redemption.
01:23:32.000 There is.
01:23:33.000 And there's moving on and there's stopping the fight.
01:23:38.000 For me, I realized they're not my family.
01:23:44.000 Right.
01:23:44.000 My real family is, you know, a joy to me.
01:23:50.000 And I got a great real family.
01:23:53.000 I raised two good sons.
01:23:55.000 And, you know, of course, I want them protected from crazy women.
01:24:01.000 For crying out loud.
01:24:03.000 I over modulate their dating lives.
01:24:07.000 Do you?
01:24:07.000 Do you filter them?
01:24:09.000 Yeah, you have to.
01:24:10.000 How old are your sons?
01:24:12.000 One's 40. If my mom came to me when I was 40, tried to filter my dating life, I'd be like, Mom, I love you.
01:24:18.000 Yeah.
01:24:19.000 Shut the fuck up.
01:24:20.000 Well, that's because your mom ain't me.
01:24:23.000 That's true.
01:24:24.000 Because I go, no, this is, you know, we can't have no bitches up in here.
01:24:28.000 We can't.
01:24:29.000 I can't take no second class bitch telling me I'm beneath her.
01:24:32.000 That's why I helped break up my son's marriage because of the way she treated me.
01:24:37.000 Oh, you had someone who's disrespecting you?
01:24:39.000 Well, I would never allow that.
01:24:40.000 No, you're never going to fucking allow that.
01:24:42.000 You should never allow that.
01:24:42.000 And all my daughters, thank God, all their sons, they listen to me.
01:24:47.000 They do what I tell them.
01:24:49.000 So it's great.
01:24:50.000 Oh.
01:24:53.000 So...
01:24:53.000 I have good son-in-laws.
01:24:55.000 Well, that's good.
01:24:56.000 The one, though, he's a problem.
01:24:58.000 He's from Russia.
01:25:01.000 He's Russian, and on his wedding night, here's what he says to me.
01:25:04.000 He goes, um...
01:25:06.000 Does he have a Russian accent?
01:25:07.000 Yeah.
01:25:08.000 Can you do it?
01:25:09.000 Oh, I can't do that.
01:25:11.000 I try.
01:25:11.000 I try.
01:25:13.000 Well, here's what he said to me.
01:25:14.000 No, in this family, it's about it.
01:25:18.000 In this family, we do what the papa says.
01:25:21.000 We don't do what the grandma says.
01:25:25.000 I go, bitch, are you new?
01:25:32.000 I go, okay, well, if you want to live a cursed life, go ahead.
01:25:36.000 Live a fucking cursed life.
01:25:37.000 Put that voodoo on them.
01:25:38.000 Yep.
01:25:39.000 I put that judo on them.
01:25:44.000 Yeah, he's come around, though.
01:25:46.000 I knew he would.
01:25:48.000 No, they have a son, and he has ADHD, too, but he's brilliant, as all of my grandkids.
01:25:56.000 And anyway, so they're those libtards.
01:25:59.000 Oh, I shouldn't have said that.
01:26:00.000 Libtards?
01:26:01.000 No, you can't say that.
01:26:02.000 Can't say that anymore?
01:26:03.000 No, you're not to say that.
01:26:04.000 I forgot.
01:26:05.000 Because I'm old, I mix them up.
01:26:07.000 Who says you're not to say that?
01:26:09.000 Everybody says you don't say the T word.
01:26:11.000 Oh.
01:26:12.000 As long as you don't have a rebound before it, I think you're allowed to say it.
01:26:15.000 No, I don't say it in public.
01:26:18.000 But no, I don't say it.
01:26:20.000 But anyway, so, you know, the kid, he's bouncing off the walls too, like all my kids were.
01:26:26.000 So I know how to deal with it, you know.
01:26:28.000 Right.
01:26:28.000 I said, just leave him over here with me.
01:26:30.000 I'll take care of it.
01:26:31.000 So I did.
01:26:33.000 What'd you do with him?
01:26:35.000 Just get him active.
01:26:37.000 Yeah, you get them active.
01:26:38.000 Get them doing stuff.
01:26:39.000 Exactly.
01:26:39.000 I go, I bet you $100 you can't run up and down that hill ten times in a row.
01:26:45.000 Ah, perfect.
01:26:46.000 Uh-huh, see?
01:26:47.000 Yeah.
01:26:48.000 Got to keep boys tired.
01:26:49.000 Yeah.
01:26:50.000 I guarantee I have ADHD. I have all those things.
01:26:53.000 Yeah, you probably do.
01:26:54.000 You just do stuff.
01:26:55.000 Just burn it out.
01:26:56.000 Do stuff, yeah.
01:26:57.000 Burn it out and then you can be calm.
01:26:58.000 Yeah, exactly.
01:27:00.000 I think those kids just have a lot of fuel.
01:27:02.000 I do too.
01:27:02.000 They have a lot of horsepower and a lot of fuel and it's all misdirected.
01:27:05.000 Yeah, because they get in with a girl and she starts telling them what to do.
01:27:09.000 See, I'm telling you.
01:27:10.000 Once they get under the control of a female, see, they forget themselves.
01:27:17.000 Yeah.
01:27:17.000 Girls do it too.
01:27:18.000 Sure, they get in control of the wrong guy.
01:27:20.000 Yeah, you've got to not get in control of nobody.
01:27:22.000 Of anybody, right.
01:27:23.000 That's the key.
01:27:24.000 Autonomy and what do they call it?
01:27:26.000 Sovereignty.
01:27:27.000 You've got to keep that.
01:27:28.000 Find somebody who doesn't control you.
01:27:30.000 Right.
01:27:31.000 Just accepts you.
01:27:32.000 Let's you be.
01:27:33.000 Yeah.
01:27:34.000 Don't make you shower.
01:27:36.000 Yeah.
01:27:36.000 No.
01:27:36.000 They have to make them shower.
01:27:38.000 Oh, my God.
01:27:39.000 Well, you should at least suggest it.
01:27:40.000 Yeah.
01:27:40.000 In a nice way.
01:27:42.000 Yeah, you should let them know.
01:27:43.000 Yeah.
01:27:44.000 What the fuck is going on with your smell, son?
01:27:46.000 Yeah.
01:27:47.000 I come from a weird line of women that like that man's smell.
01:27:50.000 It was gross.
01:27:52.000 My mom, she used to always go over and sniff under my dad's armpits.
01:27:55.000 It was so gross.
01:27:57.000 No wonder I'm like I am.
01:27:59.000 You know?
01:28:01.000 So, when you were in this...
01:28:03.000 She'd go, oh, Tarzan.
01:28:05.000 Oh, she likes monkey smell.
01:28:07.000 Don't say that word.
01:28:08.000 Monkey?
01:28:08.000 Yeah.
01:28:09.000 White guy, it's alright.
01:28:10.000 Oh, okay.
01:28:10.000 You call white people monkeys.
01:28:11.000 My dad was real dark.
01:28:13.000 How dark?
01:28:14.000 He was brown.
01:28:16.000 Brown?
01:28:17.000 Yeah.
01:28:19.000 Well, um...
01:28:20.000 Maybe it'd be problematic.
01:28:23.000 Yeah.
01:28:24.000 She was real fair.
01:28:26.000 Fair-skinned.
01:28:27.000 My mom, so...
01:28:29.000 I've learned a thing or two, Joe.
01:28:32.000 I hear you.
01:28:32.000 But to me, all people look like some kind...
01:28:35.000 I mean, I didn't say anything about Valerie Jarrett, but on the subject, I think people resemble animals a lot.
01:28:41.000 Well, we are animals.
01:28:42.000 Well, yeah, we are animals.
01:28:44.000 Yeah.
01:28:44.000 Like, I think I look like a beaver.
01:28:46.000 When I look at my pictures, do you think I look like a beaver?
01:28:51.000 Or a cat.
01:28:52.000 More like a cat.
01:28:53.000 Yeah, I can see myself as a cat.
01:28:54.000 More of a cat, I think, than a beaver.
01:28:56.000 My kids think I'm real cat-like.
01:28:58.000 Yes.
01:28:59.000 Yeah.
01:29:01.000 My boyfriend says sloth.
01:29:05.000 Because I just lay there in bed watching the ID channel and murders and such.
01:29:09.000 Jesus Christ, why do you watch those fucking things?
01:29:11.000 Oh my God, because I love how these characters put together.
01:29:15.000 You know, I'm writing characters.
01:29:18.000 I like the forensics thing when they put shit together.
01:29:23.000 Our perp is a...
01:29:27.000 Our purpose of 40 year old white man lives with his mother and he's probably was in the Navy.
01:29:32.000 You know all that.
01:29:33.000 Right, right, right.
01:29:34.000 I love all that.
01:29:35.000 I would have done that if I wasn't a comic genius.
01:29:38.000 I think the real problem with that though is that the more you study that shit, the more you live in that world, the less happiness you're gonna find.
01:29:49.000 I've talked to guys that...
01:29:50.000 What world?
01:29:51.000 The world of serial killers.
01:29:53.000 You mean studying it?
01:29:55.000 You're reading about it?
01:29:56.000 Yeah, the actual people that investigate those people.
01:29:58.000 Oh, yeah.
01:29:59.000 They have a real hard time with life.
01:30:01.000 They have a real hard time because they know too much.
01:30:03.000 They know too much about the darkest nature.
01:30:05.000 Did you watch that show Mindhunter?
01:30:06.000 I didn't watch that one, no.
01:30:07.000 Oh, that's about John Douglas, yeah.
01:30:10.000 I've seen so many of those shows.
01:30:13.000 I've read books on serial killers.
01:30:16.000 I've known cops that investigated stuff like this.
01:30:20.000 Well, after I had that thing with Marge, I got really into it like, oh my god.
01:30:24.000 But you realize there's some people out there that have a dark mind.
01:30:28.000 Yeah, they do.
01:30:28.000 They're capable of some fucked up shit.
01:30:30.000 Yeah, they are.
01:30:31.000 And if you're around that all the time, I just think your appreciation for...
01:30:34.000 It's one thing to know that it exists and it's a reality, but it's another thing to let that enter into your view of the world and have it in there as a standard kind of behavior.
01:30:46.000 I guess it's wrong to do that, but nothing else interests me.
01:30:52.000 Why is it interesting to you so much?
01:30:54.000 Just because it's such a bizarre aberration?
01:30:56.000 I like how they get away with it and they're like, oh, he was the nicest guy.
01:31:01.000 How they're front, you know?
01:31:02.000 Well, the Golden State Killer, right?
01:31:05.000 Which one's that?
01:31:06.000 That's the guy, that was what he was called?
01:31:07.000 The Golden State Killer that they just got?
01:31:09.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:31:10.000 That fucking guy got away with it forever.
01:31:13.000 Patton Oswalt's wife, who died of a drug overdose, was actually investigating that.
01:31:18.000 She died of a drug?
01:31:19.000 She died from fentanyl.
01:31:20.000 Oh, everyone's dying from that.
01:31:22.000 Everyone's dying from that shit.
01:31:24.000 Everybody's dying from that.
01:31:26.000 Where can I get some?
01:31:30.000 It must be good.
01:31:31.000 That's what the Connors are trying to get you.
01:31:34.000 I don't know what they're going to do.
01:31:36.000 I don't want to say nothing negative towards it.
01:31:39.000 How about they bring you back?
01:31:40.000 You could be like from beyond the grave.
01:31:42.000 You could give advice to people on the show.
01:31:45.000 That'd be a great way they can kill you off and bring you back at the same time.
01:31:47.000 As a ghost.
01:31:49.000 Yeah, a ghost.
01:31:50.000 You come to John Goodman in the middle of the night, what the fuck are you talking about?
01:31:56.000 Yeah, you'd think they could come up with something better than just...
01:32:00.000 Killing you off?
01:32:00.000 Yeah, than just letting it go.
01:32:03.000 Well, I think...
01:32:03.000 I mean, they do have these movies about robots and other worlds.
01:32:06.000 They don't want to be connected with a racist.
01:32:08.000 I know.
01:32:08.000 But you're not a racist.
01:32:10.000 I know.
01:32:10.000 That's what's so fucking stupid about this.
01:32:11.000 They had a number one show, a great sitcom.
01:32:14.000 It returns.
01:32:15.000 It's even better.
01:32:16.000 I mean, it's just as good, if not better, than it was when it first came out.
01:32:18.000 Thank you.
01:32:18.000 I think it was a bit better, too.
01:32:20.000 It was great.
01:32:21.000 Thank you.
01:32:22.000 Well, you know, that was all I was meant to do.
01:32:24.000 So, you know, I did it.
01:32:26.000 I did it number one after 20 years.
01:32:28.000 What about doing stand-up again?
01:32:30.000 I'm doing stand-up.
01:32:31.000 I'm touring next year.
01:32:33.000 Oh, shit.
01:32:33.000 Yeah, bitches.
01:32:35.000 I'm really, yeah.
01:32:36.000 Oh, shit.
01:32:36.000 And by then, my gag order will be over.
01:32:40.000 You have a gag order?
01:32:42.000 Mm-hmm.
01:32:43.000 Of sorts.
01:32:44.000 Can you talk about the gag order, or is that a part of the gag order?
01:32:48.000 It's a part of the gag order that I can't talk about.
01:32:51.000 Well, we don't need to talk about it.
01:32:52.000 Let's just talk about the positive stuff.
01:32:54.000 I just want to say I wish everybody the best.
01:32:57.000 I wish well for everyone on earth.
01:33:00.000 That's all I'm going to say.
01:33:02.000 When are you going to do stand-up?
01:33:04.000 Next year, 2019. Where are you going to do it?
01:33:08.000 I can't remember what they said.
01:33:10.000 It's in the Midwest, all across the Midwest.
01:33:13.000 Are you writing already?
01:33:14.000 Are you performing at all?
01:33:15.000 I'm writing.
01:33:16.000 You're just writing?
01:33:17.000 Yeah.
01:33:17.000 And how are you going to do it?
01:33:18.000 Are you going to start out at clubs?
01:33:20.000 I'm going to do theaters, casinos.
01:33:24.000 Do you have a framework of what you're going to talk about?
01:33:27.000 Yeah, I'm going to talk about raising good sons and all that that entails.
01:33:33.000 Are you going to bring someone with you on the road to warm up?
01:33:36.000 I probably should.
01:33:38.000 I don't know.
01:33:38.000 I was kind of saying I wanted to co-headline too.
01:33:41.000 I thought to co-headline with Monique would be a blast.
01:33:45.000 That's a great idea.
01:33:46.000 Yeah, me and her talked about it, and that'd be fun.
01:33:49.000 Yeah, I mean, anybody.
01:33:51.000 Yeah, just to get out there again and tell me the jokes.
01:33:54.000 I really like hearing people laugh.
01:33:56.000 That'd be a great thing for you too.
01:33:58.000 Yeah, that'd make me feel better.
01:34:00.000 How long has it been since you've done stand-up?
01:34:02.000 Oh, I did it just before, you know.
01:34:05.000 In fact, I think that's why I got so run down.
01:34:07.000 You know, I got so run down when I, you know, this whole thing.
01:34:11.000 I was so run down at that point that I had no B vitamins in my body.
01:34:17.000 How's it even possible?
01:34:18.000 Well, I mean, it was at a really low level.
01:34:21.000 And the doctor said, you know, that can cause psychosis.
01:34:24.000 So that's why I go, okay.
01:34:26.000 That's what happened to me, really.
01:34:28.000 I was getting way out there in Salt Lake City, Utah, anyway.
01:34:33.000 I did do stand-up all through Canada, and then I ended up in New York doing promo for Roseanne.
01:34:40.000 And, you know, I just got too run down.
01:34:42.000 I didn't watch myself and do what I should have done for my physical health.
01:34:47.000 Well, this time around, let's get you sorted out.
01:34:50.000 Let's get you on some vitamins and get you a nutritionist and get somebody who's going to do some blood work on you and make sure everything's okay.
01:34:58.000 I get blood work done.
01:34:59.000 I go to the cancer center at whatever that hospital's called over there.
01:35:05.000 Yeah, that's good.
01:35:06.000 I always have to have infusions every three months because I don't absorb minerals or vitamins.
01:35:12.000 What do you mean you don't absorb them?
01:35:14.000 Yeah, I had this gastric bypass about 25 or so years ago.
01:35:18.000 And I can't absorb minerals or vitamins.
01:35:21.000 And so I have to go get infusions every, you know, when I get...
01:35:26.000 Like I said, I was promoting the Roseanne show and also doing some touring in Canada and I got too run down.
01:35:35.000 I think I had a mental collapse.
01:35:37.000 I told the network, I said, obviously I'm not behaving in the right way and I will check myself in and get my meds checked and make sure I'm, you know, so I said I have mental health issues and You know, I said also I thought that woman was white and it wasn't anything about race.
01:35:56.000 It was about Iran.
01:35:58.000 And it was like, well, we'll see how this washes out.
01:36:03.000 Ben Sherman, yeah.
01:36:05.000 We'll see how this washes out.
01:36:07.000 And then 20 minutes later, Wanda Sykes tweeted, let me off this show.
01:36:15.000 And then Sarah Gilbert tweeted shortly thereafter something about she was ashamed of one cast member.
01:36:25.000 And that one blew me away.
01:36:27.000 And Michael Fishman tweeted that he was ashamed of my racism or some shit.
01:36:35.000 And that was hard to take.
01:36:38.000 But it seemed orchestrated because they used the same words, you know, egregious, unforgivable.
01:36:47.000 But in fact, it might have been offensive.
01:36:50.000 And like when I was talking to Mike today, I said, you know, we all say things racially insensitive at times.
01:36:56.000 All of us do that.
01:36:57.000 I'm a Jew.
01:36:58.000 I've heard everything.
01:37:02.000 You know, or ethnically offensive to somebody, but that doesn't mean we're the KKK, okay?
01:37:08.000 That doesn't mean we're, you know, fascists or, you know, and especially if we apologize, because most people who are offensive, they mean to be offensive and they don't apologize.
01:37:20.000 And I think that's when you know there's a difference.
01:37:22.000 And if you don't have the discretion to understand that, something's wrong with you.
01:37:27.000 And I think something's wrong with people that they're so hateful and so unforgiving.
01:37:33.000 And if you don't vote the way they think you should vote, that they feel justified in being so, what's the word, so sanctimonious and self-righteous.
01:37:45.000 And when they themselves are You know, kind of saying far more offensive things about people's children and such, for instance.
01:37:54.000 I think people are just cowards.
01:37:56.000 And I think when things like this happen, they want to separate themselves from controversy and make sure that they're not a part of the people that are being attacked.
01:38:02.000 I can understand that.
01:38:03.000 I can kind of understand it, but I don't get it.
01:38:05.000 I don't get it.
01:38:06.000 But that's what they do, you know?
01:38:08.000 And, you know, I'm like, wow.
01:38:11.000 They also get really, really upset when A few years later, somebody does the exact same thing to them.
01:38:19.000 And what goes around comes around.
01:38:21.000 And that's true.
01:38:22.000 And especially true in Hollywood.
01:38:24.000 The guy that fired me just was fired a couple weeks ago.
01:38:28.000 For what?
01:38:29.000 I don't know.
01:38:29.000 His contract wasn't renewed.
01:38:32.000 And his last words were, well, I didn't know I'd be forced to cancel our number one show.
01:38:39.000 He wasn't forced to do anything.
01:38:41.000 Well, he might have been forced.
01:38:42.000 They're all fools.
01:38:44.000 First of all, they should have let the dust settle.
01:38:46.000 Second of all, they should have examined what you actually said and what your intentions were and let you apologize.
01:38:52.000 Yeah.
01:38:53.000 And then have a conversation with you on one of their shows in long form.
01:38:57.000 You mean a teaching moment, such as if Valerie Jarrett would have accepted that?
01:39:01.000 Yeah.
01:39:02.000 I said I would like to debate her on the Iran deal and explain what I said.
01:39:07.000 Well, even that's not necessary.
01:39:10.000 Americans should know about that deal.
01:39:12.000 Well, maybe they should, but I don't think that's completely related to your tweet.
01:39:16.000 But it would have been a teachable moment.
01:39:18.000 Maybe.
01:39:19.000 But it also would have been a distraction from what you were trying to say.
01:39:22.000 Well, they didn't let me say it.
01:39:24.000 Right.
01:39:26.000 But to get involved openly, politically, on a television show...
01:39:31.000 I know, that's dangerous, but Taylor Swift just did it.
01:39:34.000 What did she say?
01:39:35.000 Just get out and vote?
01:39:36.000 Vote for the Democrat.
01:39:38.000 Yeah, but wasn't that like, it's almost abstract.
01:39:41.000 Get out and vote.
01:39:42.000 No, she said vote for the Democrat.
01:39:44.000 I don't like the Republican, Marsha Blackburn.
01:39:46.000 She didn't like her, although Marsha Blackburn has been the author of a lot of great anti-rape laws and all kinds of stuff like that.
01:39:54.000 But she didn't like her because she's a Republican.
01:39:57.000 So she took a stand, a political stand.
01:40:00.000 I guess, you know, some people can do it.
01:40:04.000 But some people can't.
01:40:05.000 And the political stand I took, which I just want to remind people, is that I'm an independent.
01:40:13.000 That's my stance.
01:40:17.000 And I just thought both sides had gone too far out and needed to talk to each other.
01:40:21.000 So I came back and did a show about that.
01:40:25.000 That's the stance you took with your show.
01:40:27.000 Yeah, and in my life.
01:40:28.000 It's like, if we can't even discuss things, that's really, really bad.
01:40:33.000 That's not American.
01:40:34.000 We discuss and debate.
01:40:36.000 We don't label and blacklist.
01:40:40.000 We certainly can talk things.
01:40:42.000 And maybe that's something you could have done once they had a conversation with you about your tweet.
01:40:47.000 But, I mean, I just think that what they did was just very hasty and very foolhardy.
01:40:51.000 And they should have known who you were beforehand.
01:40:53.000 They should have known about your mental health issues.
01:40:56.000 They should know.
01:40:57.000 They should have known about your medication issues, all of those things.
01:41:00.000 They knew.
01:41:01.000 But this is what my point was.
01:41:03.000 If you have a person with a broken leg and they can't run, and you get mad at them because they can't run, Isn't that ridiculous?
01:41:09.000 Well, if you have a person that has brain issues, and then they do something that's erratic, and you're mad at them for that?
01:41:16.000 Well, you're a fucking idiot.
01:41:17.000 That's stupid.
01:41:18.000 And you call them a racist or chastise them in front of the world so that you remove any possible Any possible negative opinions that could be cast your way.
01:41:33.000 That's what a lot of it is.
01:41:34.000 It's deflection.
01:41:35.000 They're worried about negative opinions and negative feedback that's going to come their way, so they immediately turn on you.
01:41:41.000 They turn on you in a disproportionate way.
01:41:44.000 Well, they did cancel the show before even one advertiser had pulled out.
01:41:49.000 It reminds me of Sarah Silverman's bit, I'm for against it.
01:41:53.000 Remember that?
01:41:53.000 I'm for against it.
01:41:56.000 Well, there's a lot of cowardice going on.
01:41:58.000 There's a lot of people trying to save their jobs and people panic because people are aware of the outrage culture that we live in.
01:42:04.000 This is an outraged nation right now.
01:42:06.000 It's one of our number one forms of recreation.
01:42:09.000 People love it.
01:42:10.000 They love getting mad at whoever the fuck it is.
01:42:13.000 As long as you react the way they want you to react, ooh, they love it.
01:42:17.000 It's an inquisition.
01:42:19.000 Well, it's the understanding that people have way more power to affect change, whether it's good change or bad change.
01:42:27.000 They're pushing buttons with social media and with outrage and with their ability to express themselves.
01:42:33.000 It's unprecedented.
01:42:34.000 There's never been a time like this in history.
01:42:36.000 No.
01:42:36.000 Well, Salem.
01:42:38.000 The witch trials?
01:42:39.000 Yeah.
01:42:41.000 I mean, it's like, okay, well, if you swim, that proves you're a witch, and then we have to drown you.
01:42:47.000 There has to be a loser.
01:42:51.000 There can't be two winners.
01:42:53.000 Well, there has to be an understanding of what's happening here.
01:42:57.000 And people have to have an understanding of the power that they're wielding and what they're doing and that it could turn back on them.
01:43:03.000 And it will.
01:43:04.000 It doesn't ever just stop at one person.
01:43:06.000 That's why I said, I'm surprised that a lot more comics didn't defend me because, you know, this means that anything they find in your timeline that they think is offensive, they can mischaracterize and bring a whole battle against you that you can't possibly win and take your life's work.
01:43:23.000 Well, how many did defend you?
01:43:28.000 Nobody defended me.
01:43:30.000 Well, I did.
01:43:31.000 You did, thank you.
01:43:33.000 Stanhope did.
01:43:34.000 Stanhope did, yeah.
01:43:36.000 I thought you meant that we're working with you.
01:43:39.000 No, none of them that worked with you.
01:43:40.000 Well, everybody that worked with you wanted to keep their job.
01:43:42.000 Yeah, and I don't blame them.
01:43:45.000 I don't blame them.
01:43:46.000 They probably, you know, needed the money and probably already spent it.
01:43:49.000 Well, the other thing, too, the sitcom life, that fucking schedule is ruthless.
01:43:55.000 It's grueling.
01:43:55.000 But you know what I think it was?
01:43:57.000 A lot of it was, you know, I gave them the gun to shoot me.
01:44:01.000 I mean, I wasn't a helpless victim, although I think my explanation either makes sense or doesn't make sense.
01:44:10.000 Well, if you're compassionate, it makes sense.
01:44:11.000 Yeah, but a lot of people aren't.
01:44:14.000 But, you know, I forgot what I was going to say.
01:44:18.000 I don't even know if they're not compassionate, Roseanne.
01:44:20.000 I think they're scared.
01:44:20.000 I think they're just chicken shit.
01:44:22.000 I don't think they're looking at it in terms of like, I can't win here and I can't lose here.
01:44:27.000 Let me just look at what's right.
01:44:29.000 See, I didn't have anything to win or lose.
01:44:30.000 So when I looked at it, I looked at you as someone that I admire, someone that I think is one of the best comics ever, who I think, I know that you have mental health issues.
01:44:38.000 I knew from talking to you that you were on Ambien, and I knew you had alcohol as well.
01:44:42.000 I know what that does.
01:44:43.000 My mom took Ambien.
01:44:44.000 She woke up in the middle of the night and drew all over the, she had a bathroom rug, drew all over it with lipstick and nail polish.
01:44:53.000 She said like a little kid.
01:44:54.000 She woke up in the morning, she had no idea she did it.
01:44:57.000 She's terrified of that shit.
01:44:58.000 She won't take it now.
01:44:59.000 I have many friends, many friends that have had bad experiences on ambience.
01:45:04.000 I have too, and I thought, well, they shouldn't have shut down that conversation like that.
01:45:08.000 They shouldn't have.
01:45:08.000 It's a fucking dangerous drug for the wrong people in the wrong situations, especially when you mix it with alcohol.
01:45:14.000 I mean, it's beneficial to people that need sleep in certain situations.
01:45:17.000 I don't recommend it.
01:45:18.000 I don't take it.
01:45:19.000 But some people like it.
01:45:20.000 That's fine.
01:45:21.000 But to ignore what the actual pharmacological effect on the human body is, is ridiculous.
01:45:27.000 Because there's studies on this shit.
01:45:29.000 And people understand the interaction between chemicals and the human brain.
01:45:33.000 And they're erratic.
01:45:34.000 And especially when you mix them with things you're not supposed to mix them with.
01:45:37.000 Weird shit happens.
01:45:38.000 Yeah, I thought that tweet...
01:45:39.000 I thought I was going to expand on it in the morning.
01:45:43.000 And, you know, talk about that movie.
01:45:46.000 And...
01:45:47.000 Too late.
01:45:48.000 Yeah.
01:45:49.000 It was too late.
01:45:51.000 But the whole thing is just fucking crazy.
01:45:53.000 Well, they told me not to tweet.
01:45:55.000 Yeah.
01:45:56.000 Well, it's probably a good idea.
01:45:58.000 But...
01:46:00.000 Now, honestly, the problem also with Twitter is that fucking text is just too simple.
01:46:06.000 It's too crude a way of communicating.
01:46:08.000 It really is.
01:46:09.000 You can get across some ideas.
01:46:10.000 Like you can say, hey, I went to see Little Foote.
01:46:13.000 It's a great movie.
01:46:14.000 That's a good thing to tweet.
01:46:15.000 Real simple shit like that.
01:46:16.000 But we don't want to talk about political things or things that involve nuance or things that are complex.
01:46:23.000 I just don't think it's the way to communicate.
01:46:25.000 I don't either anymore.
01:46:26.000 No.
01:46:27.000 I think it's a terrible way to communicate.
01:46:29.000 Yeah.
01:46:29.000 Well, it's not communicate.
01:46:31.000 It's like, what did he say?
01:46:34.000 Search and destroy.
01:46:35.000 Well, for some folks, yeah.
01:46:37.000 Well, there's going to be people that always want to make things crash and burn.
01:46:41.000 They like it.
01:46:42.000 They do like it.
01:46:43.000 They like hitting the buttons.
01:46:44.000 They like to see people suffer.
01:46:46.000 Well, they definitely are suffering themselves.
01:46:49.000 Look, there's a giant percentage of our population that lives in misery.
01:46:52.000 I know it.
01:46:53.000 They do all day long, and they have mental health issues, they're exhausted, they're depressed, they have despair, they're overwhelmed with bills, they're in shitty relationships.
01:47:04.000 They're overwhelmed.
01:47:05.000 And they're angry.
01:47:06.000 And they look at someone like you, a rich white lady, and they're like, fuck that bitch.
01:47:09.000 And they just want to attack you.
01:47:11.000 And it doesn't have to make sense.
01:47:12.000 Because it's a reflection of their own personal pain.
01:47:14.000 As much as it's a reflection of their irresponsibility with this power that they're wielding through social media.
01:47:20.000 And then there's the mob mentality.
01:47:21.000 There's a bunch of people that are already going after you.
01:47:23.000 Good, I'm going to go after her too.
01:47:24.000 I'm going to show the world that I'm not racist.
01:47:27.000 You know how I'm going to do that?
01:47:28.000 I'm going to shit all over this racist.
01:47:30.000 This racist Roseanne.
01:47:31.000 They don't care if you're really racist.
01:47:32.000 But the thing that gets me about it is I'm going to shit all over this Jew.
01:47:37.000 Because I was talking about Iran as a Jew and speaking about Persian Jews and, you know, all kinds of Arab Jews.
01:47:45.000 Yeah, but you're talking about complexity.
01:47:46.000 It is complex.
01:47:48.000 But I always was on there talking, you know, defending or, you know, speaking for Jewish people.
01:47:55.000 And so, you know, I just I think that in the long run, I really want it to be known that I am a Jew.
01:48:02.000 And was speaking as a Jew when I spoke about the Iran deal and its effect on Jewish people in the Middle East.
01:48:10.000 And I really thought first they didn't know that, but now I think, well, they had to know some of it.
01:48:19.000 I don't think they want to know.
01:48:20.000 This is what I think.
01:48:22.000 You say, someone says, that's a black woman.
01:48:24.000 What is she?
01:48:25.000 One-eighth black?
01:48:26.000 Like, what is she?
01:48:28.000 Something very small.
01:48:29.000 46% or something.
01:48:30.000 Really?
01:48:31.000 Yeah.
01:48:32.000 She had her DNA done and was talking about it.
01:48:35.000 And 40-something Caucasian.
01:48:39.000 It doesn't look like it.
01:48:40.000 But whatever.
01:48:41.000 Whatever.
01:48:42.000 We can't tell who people are by how they look.
01:48:44.000 I'm 1.6% African.
01:48:46.000 Cool.
01:48:48.000 Awesome.
01:48:49.000 That's the heart of the world.
01:48:51.000 When you look at what happened, I think it's real simple.
01:48:55.000 I think she identifies or people identify her as a black woman.
01:48:59.000 You said Planet of the Apes.
01:49:01.000 Racist.
01:49:02.000 Boom.
01:49:02.000 It's that simple.
01:49:03.000 I don't think they give a fuck if you're a Jew.
01:49:04.000 I don't think they care if you're not racist.
01:49:07.000 I think this is a viable target.
01:49:09.000 Yeah, I think so.
01:49:10.000 Well, I said I voted for Trump, so I was a target.
01:49:13.000 That too.
01:49:14.000 That too.
01:49:14.000 And then they could find a tweet from the past calling a woman a man.
01:49:19.000 But let's not forget either.
01:49:20.000 Oh yeah, I got in trouble for that many times.
01:49:24.000 Yeah.
01:49:24.000 You know, there's just things you can't say.
01:49:26.000 And then there's worse things that you can.
01:49:29.000 So it's weird because they don't censor anybody who's, you know, calling for, you know, to kill all the Jews.
01:49:35.000 There's thousands of them.
01:49:37.000 They don't do shit about that.
01:49:38.000 They're not famous women with sitcoms.
01:49:40.000 Yeah, they are.
01:49:40.000 Who?
01:49:41.000 You know, people that are tweeting support for Valerie Jarrett.
01:49:49.000 You know, they're pissed at me and saying, how could you say this about this?
01:49:53.000 But they're not saying that because they're saying kill the Jews.
01:49:55.000 They don't maybe know what your point was or what you're implying.
01:49:59.000 Well, then I didn't know, like I didn't know about her parentage.
01:50:03.000 I mean, come on.
01:50:04.000 This is the truth.
01:50:05.000 This is who I am.
01:50:07.000 And, you know, they did this to...
01:50:10.000 But they're not really saying kill the Jews.
01:50:12.000 It's not like a valid comparison.
01:50:13.000 Well, I'm a Jew.
01:50:15.000 I understand.
01:50:17.000 That's how it feels.
01:50:19.000 Maybe it feels that way to you.
01:50:20.000 It does.
01:50:20.000 It does to a large number of us.
01:50:23.000 They're upset at you because they think you said something racist.
01:50:25.000 I know.
01:50:26.000 They're not saying kill the Jews.
01:50:28.000 Well, but they are.
01:50:30.000 To us.
01:50:33.000 Okay, you see how when people look at your situation...
01:50:37.000 I can see how they think.
01:50:39.000 But you see how when people look at your situation and they think it's racist, that is also how you look at their reacting to what they think is racist and you thinking that they're saying kill all the Jews.
01:50:52.000 Well, they're saying, like, you know, Iran every day threatens the Jewish people in Israel with annihilation, and they've already survived, you know, not too long ago an annihilation.
01:51:05.000 And then we make a deal with that government.
01:51:07.000 That does say something.
01:51:09.000 I understand that, but this is many steps past recognizing that you said a racist thing, or thinking you said a racist thing.
01:51:16.000 I understand that they think I said a racist thing.
01:51:19.000 I understand that completely.
01:51:21.000 They have no idea that this had anything to do with Jews versus Iran.
01:51:25.000 They really don't have any idea.
01:51:26.000 I've never seen that registered by any of the people that are upset at you.
01:51:30.000 Because it's not important enough to them to know that.
01:51:33.000 Well, it's probably not been explained to them, for one.
01:51:37.000 I know.
01:51:38.000 Your position like this, like you're talking about now.
01:51:40.000 I understand that.
01:51:41.000 They might not even think it's valid.
01:51:43.000 Like, if they went back and went over it, they might disagree with the political aspects of it.
01:51:48.000 Yes, and they're free to do that.
01:51:50.000 I'm not going to try to ruin their lives.
01:51:52.000 But you know what I'm saying?
01:51:53.000 The reason why I said it's not a valid comparison, they're not really saying kill the Jews.
01:51:57.000 But to me and to other Jews, they are in fact saying that.
01:52:01.000 And that's very common amongst us.
01:52:05.000 So, you know, that's the truth that many of us think.
01:52:12.000 And, you know, people don't understand it or they don't, you know, care to even consider it.
01:52:18.000 Well, they don't have to, but I'm still going to say it because that's the reality.
01:52:25.000 It's the reality to hear that, and to hear that the United States went and gave them billions of our tax dollars when they're the number one supporter of terror in the world.
01:52:35.000 It is, and they always do kill Jews, like in Paris and wherever else they go.
01:52:41.000 They do it in London, too.
01:52:43.000 I mean, you know, I hate to wake people up, but, you know, it is important.
01:52:48.000 At least it is to me and to people like me.
01:52:51.000 And to many other people, many Christians, it's very important to them, too.
01:52:55.000 They're under onslaught, too.
01:52:58.000 I'm not exactly sure what you're talking about.
01:53:00.000 Because you're talking about Iranians killing people in Paris and England?
01:53:04.000 No, I'm talking about being the number one sponsor of terror in the world, Iran.
01:53:10.000 But they're killing people in France and England?
01:53:13.000 Yeah, that are Jews.
01:53:15.000 When is this happening?
01:53:16.000 Well, that theater and a lot of other times.
01:53:20.000 But there's a lot of people in that audience.
01:53:22.000 They beat that old Jewish woman to death in her Paris apartment.
01:53:25.000 There's a lot of it.
01:53:26.000 I'm not saying they only kill Jews, but they do kill Jews.
01:53:31.000 Okay.
01:53:32.000 And the money goes back to those terrorist organizations that are funded by Qatar and Iran.
01:53:40.000 Okay.
01:53:41.000 This is a pretty—these are general things you're saying, right?
01:53:46.000 Yeah, it's very general, and there's a hundred shades.
01:53:50.000 But I'm just saying, as a Jew with a family in Israel, this is what we think, and this is how we feel.
01:53:58.000 And to not even acknowledge that in any discussion is kind of disturbing.
01:54:03.000 It should be factors.
01:54:03.000 I don't think it's a matter of not acknowledging it.
01:54:06.000 But it should be factored in as well.
01:54:08.000 I don't think they're aware that this had anything to do with your motivation.
01:54:11.000 Well, I know.
01:54:11.000 It's never been expressed.
01:54:12.000 I've never read it anywhere.
01:54:14.000 You can't say it.
01:54:16.000 That's why I'm saying it here.
01:54:17.000 You can't say it.
01:54:18.000 It's not really smiled on to go against the people who Control our media and say, especially social media, and say that you're pro-Israel or that you think...
01:54:39.000 You don't think that the media will allow you to be pro-Israel?
01:54:43.000 I mean, that seems like a really common thing.
01:54:44.000 Not on social media, for the most part, no.
01:54:47.000 It's very anti-Israel.
01:54:49.000 I'll send you statistics.
01:54:51.000 Well, I see some anti-Israel sentiment, especially in relation to the way they treat the Palestinians.
01:54:59.000 Like, I see a lot of that.
01:55:01.000 Yeah, well, I'm not going to play into either of those because I really believe that, you know, there's a solution to that problem.
01:55:08.000 The solution is peace, and I think it can be achieved.
01:55:11.000 So I'm not going to play either one of those games about who does this or what.
01:55:14.000 I just like to see a solution that works for all the people there.
01:55:19.000 All people there.
01:55:21.000 Well, I think any reasonable person would agree with that.
01:55:24.000 But it can't be if one side has been completely censored, and that isn't a discussion, nor is it a debate, and nor is it an American.
01:55:35.000 Scary.
01:55:35.000 It's scary times when, you know, like on our college campuses today, I know this because my son was on one, and, you know, it's a far-left, there are far-left professors that espouse that kind of stuff daily in all of our colleges,
01:55:50.000 and it does find its way to the media.
01:55:53.000 You look at the media that most, what are they called, millennials consume, and it's heavily to the left.
01:56:03.000 It is.
01:56:04.000 Yeah.
01:56:05.000 That's a fact.
01:56:05.000 And so that's where they're getting their opinions from only hearing one side of things on social media, and I don't think that's good.
01:56:14.000 I don't think it's good that all conservative voices are being censored off Twitter.
01:56:20.000 Well, not all.
01:56:21.000 I shouldn't say all, but that so many are, because that's a way to shut down discussion, too.
01:56:26.000 There's quite a few conservative voices on Twitter, but some are when they think they're inflammatory or they think they're espousing hate.
01:56:33.000 Yeah.
01:56:34.000 But they get to decide that.
01:56:36.000 Right.
01:56:36.000 You're right.
01:56:36.000 Who's deciding that?
01:56:37.000 You're right.
01:56:38.000 It's people who are heavily political.
01:56:40.000 Yes.
01:56:40.000 Yes.
01:56:41.000 That's not right.
01:56:42.000 All tech companies lean left.
01:56:43.000 Right.
01:56:43.000 All of them.
01:56:44.000 And it should be more in the middle where both sides are considered to come to a...
01:56:48.000 That's what consensus means, is a diverse opinion.
01:56:52.000 And that's how you reach consensus.
01:56:54.000 You don't get a consensus nor a solution from only listening to one side blather on the same ship for 20 years.
01:57:01.000 Well, not only that...
01:57:02.000 That keeps people fighting at each other.
01:57:04.000 Not only does it keep people fighting, I think it recruits people for the other side.
01:57:07.000 I think it does the opposite of its intended effect.
01:57:09.000 That's what one of my friends said.
01:57:11.000 He said he thinks Michael Moore, that's Michael Moore's role, since he's a billionaire, too.
01:57:16.000 Michael Moore's a billionaire?
01:57:18.000 Well, they said this is what they said.
01:57:20.000 I don't know.
01:57:20.000 But it's in that vein.
01:57:22.000 It's like, well, he did get so many people to vote for Trump when he said that stuff about people are angry.
01:57:29.000 I don't think he did it on purpose.
01:57:31.000 But a lot of people credit him for voting for Trump for that speech.
01:57:35.000 Yeah, well, I'm sure.
01:57:36.000 And so my friend said maybe he's a double agent, which I don't think he is.
01:57:41.000 I think this is one of the things that happens when you give people that much suppression and you try to indoctrinate people into thinking a certain way, there's going to be people that resist it, a large amount.
01:57:55.000 I hope so.
01:57:56.000 It seems larger and larger, but freedom of thought is the basis of this country.
01:58:00.000 It's not freedom of speech or freedom of religion or freedom of the Second Amendment.
01:58:07.000 Those are symptoms of freedom of thought.
01:58:11.000 And it isn't good to consume endless propaganda and never have it broken down or debated or pointed out that it's false.
01:58:23.000 There is an issue when you're only getting one side of the argument and the people that are controlling the media only want that one side expressed.
01:58:31.000 That is a problem.
01:58:33.000 And there's no solution to that right now in terms of a right-wing version of it.
01:58:37.000 Well, because they won't let it happen.
01:58:39.000 But who's that?
01:58:40.000 You know, the people that are in charge of programming the networks.
01:58:43.000 They don't want that.
01:58:44.000 Tech people seem to always lean left.
01:58:47.000 I mean, technologically oriented companies and corporations always, almost invariably, lean left.
01:58:54.000 Why do you think that is?
01:58:56.000 They're smart.
01:58:57.000 They're educated.
01:58:58.000 They're fresh out of college.
01:59:00.000 The colleges are indoctrinating left-wing kids.
01:59:02.000 And, you know, you have a vast majority of professors at universities all across the country that identify as Democrats.
01:59:10.000 Right.
01:59:10.000 So this is the indoctrination they get from people that they respect deeply and that they're learning from.
01:59:15.000 There's also an understanding that this is the way you advance.
01:59:19.000 And then when someone comes out that has anything that deviates from that...
01:59:22.000 Well, wait a minute.
01:59:23.000 You said you didn't think that it has a brain center.
01:59:26.000 I don't think it has a brain center.
01:59:28.000 You didn't think it was coordinated.
01:59:28.000 It's not coordinated in terms of the government.
01:59:31.000 I think what's happening in the universities is you've got people that are, first of all, they're existing in this bizarre glass-walled garden where they go to universities, they get indoctrinated into these left-wing cultures,
01:59:46.000 and then they start teaching at universities, and they never get out into the real world.
01:59:49.000 And then they teach children these thoughts and ideas.
01:59:52.000 And then most of the kids leave, and they take these ideas somewhere else, and then slowly over time they become more moderate.
02:00:00.000 Most of them do.
02:00:01.000 Or they reject those ideas and either go to the center or go right, or some of them stay left.
02:00:08.000 But when they go into tech companies...
02:00:09.000 Probably the most go center.
02:00:11.000 A lot of them go center, which is, I think, probably where sanity is.
02:00:14.000 I think sanity is somewhere in the center.
02:00:16.000 Right in the middle, yeah.
02:00:17.000 And I think discussion is critical.
02:00:19.000 I have a lot of friends that are Republican.
02:00:21.000 I have a lot of friends that are liberal.
02:00:22.000 Me too.
02:00:22.000 There's nothing wrong with either mindset.
02:00:25.000 And the only way we find out whether or not we really agree or disagree is we let people express themselves.
02:00:31.000 That's right.
02:00:31.000 And as soon as you suppress that kind of expression, then you run into real problems.
02:00:36.000 That's absolutely right and that's what I wanted on my show is that I would show that there was a Trump lover and a Trump hater in the same house and they managed to deal with it and get on with their life.
02:00:48.000 That's a great premise for a show and it was one of the reasons why I think people loved it so much is because there was that conflict.
02:00:55.000 And because, look, people can love a lovable curmudgeon.
02:00:58.000 People can love someone who has ideas that they disagree with.
02:01:02.000 People can love someone who lives with someone who has a completely opposing opinion.
02:01:07.000 They figure it out and they get along.
02:01:08.000 That's fine.
02:01:09.000 That's great.
02:01:10.000 I thought it was great.
02:01:11.000 It was great.
02:01:12.000 And my boyfriend said, your mistake is that you put a cramp in the hate business.
02:01:17.000 I don't think that's the case.
02:01:19.000 I think that you just, you became a target.
02:01:22.000 You fucked up.
02:01:23.000 I don't think they were happy from the beginning.
02:01:25.000 I don't think they really wanted me to come back.
02:01:27.000 I think there's a certain amount of that when they found out that you're a Trump supporter, and then the show became successful, and Donald Trump loved it, and then Trump supporters loved it.
02:01:36.000 Well, also they thought I was a troublemaker and a big mouth.
02:01:38.000 They've always thought that.
02:01:39.000 Well, you're a comic.
02:01:41.000 I know.
02:01:41.000 And everybody remembers when you sang the National Anthem and grabbed your crotch and spit on the ground.
02:01:45.000 I don't remember that.
02:01:47.000 When did I do that?
02:01:49.000 When you do that gastric bypass thing, is that something they can reverse?
02:01:54.000 They could reverse it, but what the hell, then I'll weigh 800. Would you really, though?
02:01:58.000 Then I'll be like Large Marge.
02:02:00.000 You wouldn't.
02:02:00.000 Yeah, I would.
02:02:01.000 Would you just eat everything?
02:02:03.000 Oh, hell yeah.
02:02:04.000 Oh, fuck yeah.
02:02:06.000 That's where I had it, because I couldn't stop.
02:02:08.000 Talk about addiction.
02:02:10.000 Impulsive, right?
02:02:11.000 Oh yeah, all day long.
02:02:13.000 Eclairs, what have you.
02:02:14.000 I loved it.
02:02:15.000 It was great.
02:02:17.000 I hate those goddamn things.
02:02:19.000 Eclairs?
02:02:19.000 No, gastric bypass surgeries.
02:02:22.000 A lot of people have had it.
02:02:23.000 I know they save people.
02:02:24.000 Yeah, they do.
02:02:25.000 But I just wish there was a better way.
02:02:27.000 Because it fucks up your nutrient absorption abilities, like you were talking about.
02:02:30.000 It totally does, yeah.
02:02:31.000 Yeah, I mean, I've heard that from several people.
02:02:33.000 I know guys who've gotten in, they hate their way through it.
02:02:35.000 And that fucks up your mental state.
02:02:37.000 Yeah, I'm sure.
02:02:38.000 Oh, for sure.
02:02:39.000 A lot of it has to do with the health of your body.
02:02:44.000 Your ability to absorb nutrients affects everything.
02:02:48.000 Your mood, your energy levels, everything.
02:02:51.000 I mean, food doesn't get in there the right way.
02:02:53.000 No.
02:02:54.000 I'd just lay in bed until they called for me, you know?
02:02:57.000 And then I'd just stumble in, do my thing, go back to bed.
02:03:00.000 I just had no energy.
02:03:02.000 Listen, Roseanne, why don't you do something like this?
02:03:04.000 What?
02:03:04.000 Like this conversation.
02:03:06.000 I want to.
02:03:07.000 You could do this on your time, whenever you want to do it, without anybody telling you what to say or what not to say, without any executives, without anybody to fire you.
02:03:17.000 Well, won't they de-YouTube you or something?
02:03:19.000 I mean, they'd kick you off everything.
02:03:22.000 They could, but I don't think they would.
02:03:24.000 And on top of that, you could do it off your own website.
02:03:27.000 You could do it on RoseanneBarr.com.
02:03:29.000 Yeah?
02:03:30.000 Yeah.
02:03:30.000 Yeah.
02:03:31.000 I'm always afraid they'll, you know, I just feel like, hey, this is the time of my life.
02:03:36.000 I'm 66. It's probably the time for me to just lay low, do stand up sometimes.
02:03:41.000 That's a great idea, too.
02:03:42.000 Lay low, you know.
02:03:43.000 That's even better.
02:03:44.000 Yeah, I think so.
02:03:44.000 Go do that, then.
02:03:45.000 And show us some of my farming videos.
02:03:48.000 Yeah, listen.
02:03:48.000 Because people like to know about how to grow food, and I'm really good at growing food.
02:03:52.000 When you do stand-up and you go on a tour, I think it's going to be hugely successful.
02:03:57.000 Thank you very much.
02:03:57.000 I really do.
02:03:58.000 I think people are going to come out in droves, and I think it's going to be awesome.
02:04:01.000 And I think once you get your legs under you and you start doing a few shows and get things cracking again, you'll be like the Roseanne of old.
02:04:07.000 You'll be crushing it.
02:04:08.000 I was crushing it, I have to say, in my tour of Canada.
02:04:12.000 I was crushing it.
02:04:14.000 I'm sure you were.
02:04:14.000 It was a blast.
02:04:16.000 I had, oh my god, I just had the most fun, you know?
02:04:19.000 Get back out there!
02:04:20.000 90 minutes of total control over, you know, bing, bing, bing, and I got like a big laugh every 90 seconds.
02:04:28.000 Beautiful.
02:04:29.000 You know, I tailor it and craft it and love it.
02:04:32.000 Love the people that come out to see me.
02:04:34.000 Good, then fuck everything else.
02:04:36.000 I have a really diverse crowd too, which is great.
02:04:38.000 Well, I bet it'll be even more diverse now.
02:04:40.000 Well, it's going to be way better, I think, because I'm going to really start talking about the real me, such as my abhorrence and fear of serpents.
02:04:48.000 You're scared of serpents?
02:04:49.000 Oh yeah, I always have been.
02:04:50.000 Don't go to Florida.
02:04:52.000 No, I won't.
02:04:54.000 Don't go to the swamps, for sure.
02:04:55.000 You heard about what's going on down there?
02:04:57.000 What?
02:04:58.000 With people releasing pythons?
02:04:59.000 Oh, no.
02:05:00.000 Over decades, you didn't know?
02:05:02.000 No.
02:05:02.000 Florida's overrun with pythons.
02:05:04.000 Oh, my God.
02:05:05.000 Non-native pythons, because people release them as pets, and then they move to the swamps and bred.
02:05:10.000 Yeah, they've eaten everything.
02:05:12.000 There's almost no mammals in the swamps now.
02:05:15.000 Oh, my God.
02:05:16.000 They said 99% of all raccoons are gone.
02:05:19.000 They couldn't find any marsh rabbits.
02:05:21.000 They couldn't find any bobcats.
02:05:23.000 And the pythons have started eating alligators.
02:05:26.000 Oh.
02:05:27.000 Oh, shit.
02:05:27.000 There's thousands of them out there.
02:05:29.000 See, the world's gone nuts.
02:05:31.000 Crazy.
02:05:32.000 Stay away from Florida.
02:05:33.000 I will.
02:05:34.000 I had a turtle that kind of fell.
02:05:37.000 Are we done?
02:05:37.000 No.
02:05:38.000 I mean, we can be done.
02:05:39.000 Or you can keep going.
02:05:40.000 Well, I had this turtle that fell in love with me and wanted to mate with me in Hawaii.
02:05:44.000 It was so weird.
02:05:45.000 No, this is for true.
02:05:47.000 I've always been really afraid of serpents, okay?
02:05:50.000 So I go in the ocean there, and my friends, they're like, don't touch the turtles.
02:05:56.000 There's a...
02:05:56.000 $5,000 fine of something you don't touch.
02:06:01.000 Sea turtles?
02:06:01.000 Yeah, sea turtles.
02:06:02.000 Those big old things?
02:06:03.000 Yeah.
02:06:03.000 So I'm like, you know, like I say, I'm a Jew.
02:06:06.000 So as soon as I hear that, I'm like, yeah, well, fuck them.
02:06:08.000 I'm touching it.
02:06:09.000 You know, so I did.
02:06:11.000 And then it turned, it went and started swimming around me.
02:06:15.000 And then it went in this big circle.
02:06:18.000 And its head came out of the water and it side-eyed me.
02:06:22.000 And I was like, oh, Christ, it's the serpent I've been afraid of my whole life.
02:06:27.000 And he chased me onto the shore.
02:06:29.000 She goes, that's why we don't touch the turtles, because they bond with you.
02:06:34.000 I'm like, this guy wants me to marry him.
02:06:36.000 They bond with you?
02:06:37.000 Yeah, if you touch him, they like you.
02:06:39.000 They're like, hey, she'll go for it.
02:06:44.000 It was terrifying.
02:06:47.000 I've seen them in the water.
02:06:48.000 They're fucking cool to look at.
02:06:50.000 They're swimming around there.
02:06:51.000 They're awesome.
02:06:51.000 They're like a little Volkswagen with these four paddles and a serpent head coming out like this.
02:06:57.000 Well, they look so prehistoric too.
02:06:59.000 Yeah, you're mine.
02:07:00.000 That's how it looked.
02:07:02.000 They locked eyes with you.
02:07:03.000 Yeah, he did.
02:07:04.000 Like this.
02:07:05.000 Looked into you.
02:07:05.000 Side eye.
02:07:06.000 Side eye.
02:07:08.000 You're mine.
02:07:09.000 Oh, they go side eye.
02:07:11.000 I'll know now.
02:07:12.000 Hmm.
02:07:13.000 It was terrifying.
02:07:13.000 Something to think of.
02:07:15.000 Terrifying.
02:07:15.000 Yeah.
02:07:16.000 I've never gone back in that water.
02:07:18.000 Well, yeah.
02:07:19.000 I could see why that would be a problem.
02:07:21.000 And I have a lot of serpent things.
02:07:24.000 Also, like when I see people, I can see if they're a serpent or not.
02:07:27.000 You know how they say the reptilian?
02:07:29.000 Like I told my kids, this is the hardest thing I've ever...
02:07:32.000 Like that David Icke type shit?
02:07:33.000 Well, I really do see him.
02:07:35.000 No.
02:07:35.000 Really?
02:07:35.000 I sort of believe him.
02:07:37.000 He's gone down a rabbit hole, that guy.
02:07:39.000 Whew.
02:07:40.000 It's more like a gopher hole.
02:07:43.000 Somewhere real deep into the core of the earth.
02:07:46.000 I don't think he talks about that stuff anymore.
02:07:48.000 No, he kind of laid it back.
02:07:50.000 He gets upset.
02:07:51.000 That's because I confronted him.
02:07:52.000 Dude, you've lost it.
02:07:54.000 Yeah.
02:07:55.000 Well, that's what I was doing on Twitter, too, is DMing people and going, you've lost it.
02:08:01.000 It was fun.
02:08:03.000 I used to do these fake phone or crank phone calls before they got that star 69. Yeah.
02:08:11.000 And I was married to, what's his face then?
02:08:14.000 The Oaf.
02:08:15.000 And he came in the room there and he told me to stop doing it.
02:08:20.000 And he looked at my address book and I was calling General Schwarzkopf to do it to him.
02:08:29.000 And he's like, you don't crank call General Schwarzkopf because I had all these numbers.
02:08:35.000 Anyway, so, what was I saying?
02:08:38.000 Crank calls.
02:08:39.000 Yeah, I used to do that, but then I went to the DM, you know, on Twitter.
02:08:44.000 Oh, that's the way.
02:08:45.000 Just get them riled up that way?
02:08:47.000 Well, just go, come on, you're losing it.
02:08:50.000 Yeah, what did David Icke say?
02:08:51.000 He said that like all the big major world figures were like secretly reptilians.
02:08:55.000 Yeah, the reptilians.
02:08:56.000 The shapeshifters and shit.
02:08:58.000 Yeah, and I told my kids, here's what I told my kids, this is the hardest thing I'll ever tell you, but, and I didn't know, so I couldn't help it at the time, but I recently found out that your dad is reptilian.
02:09:17.000 Sort of a joke.
02:09:18.000 But they are half reptilian.
02:09:19.000 But I can see, like, people becoming the reptile.
02:09:23.000 Like, I'll see them and their head goes up like this, you know?
02:09:26.000 Like on TV! Their head, their neck goes out like this and then the tongue comes out of the corner to let go, ah!
02:09:34.000 Like that.
02:09:34.000 They do it.
02:09:35.000 I see it on TV all the time.
02:09:37.000 Like who's a reptile?
02:09:39.000 All them devil worshippers.
02:09:40.000 Like who?
02:09:41.000 Do you go to those devil worship parties here they're talking about in Hollywood?
02:09:44.000 I'll tell you what.
02:09:45.000 I went to a wedding.
02:09:47.000 Was it a devil worship?
02:09:48.000 What is his name?
02:09:49.000 Anton LaVey's son?
02:09:50.000 You did?
02:09:51.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:09:52.000 Was a devil worshipper?
02:09:53.000 This is what it was.
02:09:55.000 A motherfucker like you there.
02:09:55.000 People call me a Satan worshipper now because of it.
02:09:57.000 Oh my God!
02:09:58.000 My friend Duncan, this was like 15 years ago, my friend Duncan used to have this puppet called Little Hobo.
02:10:05.000 And he would do this hilarious bit at the end of his comedy show where Little Hobo was his grandfather's puppet and his grandfather died and his grandfather's last wish was that he bring Little Hobo on stage with him one more time And the puppet would come to life.
02:10:22.000 There's Duncan with Little Hobo.
02:10:24.000 Little Hobo was this fucked up looking puppet.
02:10:25.000 It was a hilarious bit.
02:10:27.000 Oh, that sounds funny.
02:10:28.000 Anton LaVey's grandson?
02:10:30.000 Is that who it was?
02:10:31.000 Or son?
02:10:32.000 Was getting married and asked Duncan to perform at his party.
02:10:34.000 So me and a bunch of my friends all went to see Duncan perform at this bizarre Satanist party.
02:10:40.000 It was very strange.
02:10:42.000 It was in Hollywood.
02:10:43.000 It was like there's a concert and Hank the third, Hank Williams the third performed there.
02:10:48.000 Oh my God.
02:10:49.000 And it was kind of fun, but it was bizarre.
02:10:51.000 And so there's like a picture with me and the guy and people say I'm a Satan worshiper now.
02:10:57.000 You're not, are you?
02:10:58.000 Definitely not.
02:10:59.000 I'm not either.
02:11:00.000 There's me.
02:11:01.000 Oh my God, you look like a Satan worshiper.
02:11:03.000 And I've got someone's shirt on.
02:11:05.000 Which one's you?
02:11:06.000 The guy on the left with the hair.
02:11:07.000 Oh.
02:11:09.000 Which one's you?
02:11:09.000 That don't look like you.
02:11:10.000 That's me.
02:11:11.000 You gotta get some better glasses, Mama.
02:11:12.000 I know, I can't tell.
02:11:14.000 I can't tell about you.
02:11:15.000 Oh, exactly like me.
02:11:16.000 Oh.
02:11:19.000 Well, I can't tell.
02:11:20.000 But anyway, no, I promise you.
02:11:21.000 No Satan worshipping.
02:11:23.000 No, no worshipping, period.
02:11:25.000 There's some real...
02:11:27.000 I'm sure.
02:11:27.000 ...crazy people out here.
02:11:29.000 There definitely really are.
02:11:30.000 Yeah.
02:11:30.000 I'm glad you didn't stay in with them.
02:11:33.000 I went to one stupid fucking party because of my friend Duncan.
02:11:37.000 Fucking Duncan!
02:11:39.000 Get me in trouble, you son of a bitch.
02:11:42.000 What else?
02:11:42.000 What were we just talking about?
02:11:43.000 We were talking about Satan worshippers.
02:11:45.000 You were saying something.
02:11:46.000 Oh, lizard people.
02:11:47.000 So who's the lizard people?
02:11:48.000 The reptile folk?
02:11:49.000 Yeah.
02:11:50.000 Who's...
02:11:50.000 Well, you can just see...
02:11:51.000 All the Satan worshipper people you said.
02:11:52.000 I can't say nobody's name.
02:11:54.000 Oh, okay.
02:11:54.000 But I'll tell you what to look for.
02:11:56.000 I can't say.
02:11:58.000 But if you really take a hard, long look when they're talking, watch for that neck going up and the head twisting.
02:12:08.000 And then the tongue coming out the corner.
02:12:10.000 Okay.
02:12:10.000 I'll keep an eye out.
02:12:11.000 So you're saying...
02:12:13.000 I'll keep an eye out for it.
02:12:17.000 Well, listen, Roseanne, thank you.
02:12:19.000 Thanks for having me on.
02:12:20.000 This was a lot of fun.
02:12:21.000 It was fun.
02:12:22.000 I think people got a chance to see the real you.
02:12:24.000 Well, I just want to say to everybody out there, before you kick me out of here, hey, I love everybody.
02:12:29.000 I believe in one law for all people, and, you know, I'm not any fucking backwoods idiot.
02:12:35.000 Thank you.
02:12:36.000 You're not a racist by any stretch of the imagination.
02:12:38.000 No, I love all people.
02:12:40.000 And I'm happy you're doing stand-up again, because like I said, I think you're one of the best ever.
02:12:43.000 Oh, that's so sweet.
02:12:44.000 Damn, that makes me happy.
02:12:45.000 Thank you.
02:12:46.000 I really do.
02:12:47.000 I'm glad you're doing it.
02:12:48.000 Thank you.
02:12:49.000 Roseanne Barr, ladies and gentlemen.
02:12:51.000 Thanks, Joe.
02:12:52.000 Thank you.