Tony and Cliff talk about quitting smoking and how it s changed their lives and how they feel now that they re both non-smokers and non-drinkers. They also talk about the recent Sober October and what they would do if they were part of a "sober month" and if they wanted to join in on the fun. They also discuss the Johnny Carson story and how he went through a rough patch with his addiction to cigarettes and how that affected his relationship with his wife and kids. They talk about how he quit smoking and what it s like to be a non-cigarette smoker now that he s not smoking anymore and how much better they feel about their lives. And they talk about what they do to keep their bodies in shape and stay in shape. Enjoy the episode and don t forget to leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts! Subscribe, Like, and Share the Podcast! Timestamps: 5:00 - How to quit smoking? 8:30 - How much does it help you feel better? 11:00- How does it affect your relationship with your body? 13:00 16:40 - How does quitting smoking affect your life? 17:30 18:20 - How do you feel about your health? 19:00 | How much do you like your life right now? 21:00 // 22:15 - What sober month? 26:40 27: How much money are you can you afford? 29: What is a good day? 32:30 | 32: What do you need? 33:00 / 33: What are you looking for? 35:00/35: What s your favorite thing to smoke? 36:30/40? 39:30 / 40:50/45? 41:00 What s a good deal? 45:00 Do you want to smoke again? 40:00 Can you smoke more? 47:40/46? 44:00 How much is your favorite kind of cigarette? 46:00 Are you going to smoke more than one pack of coke? 51:00 Is it better than a pack of cigarettes? 56:40 / 47:00 Should you smoke a pack a day or a pack size? 55:00 Would you like to try something new? 57:00 Have you ever smoked a pack?
00:00:15.000I just had a drink or two pretty much every night.
00:00:18.000Would you ever consider doing something like Sober October?
00:00:20.000I mean, like, if, you know, if I was a part of it and, like, I got all that promotional push that everybody's giving themselves, hell yeah, for the business point.
00:01:17.000I mean, when you love cigarettes, and both of my parents smoked.
00:01:21.000My mom quit when she got pregnant with me, and then started again like a year later, and she would smoke in the little house that I grew up in.
00:01:30.000It was just always, my whole life, I was built to be a cigarette smoker.
00:01:35.000Those two were probably smoking ciggies while banging, making me.
00:12:37.000I've only taken a half of one pain pill one time, and I know the exact day that it happened because it was the day that the WWE Network came out.
00:14:47.000I saw there's a THC liquid something or other being sold like in 1200 milligram, but it's sold in like a bottle that looks just like the propofil.
00:15:59.000Corona and Modelo was the first to take the plunge, investing hundreds of millions of dollars into a Canadian outfit in order to bring THC-infused brews to market in Northern Nation.
00:16:10.000Now Molson Coors, the second largest brewer in the world, is reportedly getting into the game.
00:18:02.000This is just some guy laying on the ground with his mouth open at the bottom of that.
00:18:05.000Oh my god, did you ever hear this story about a girl who was, she went into a porta potty and she thought she saw something like when she was sitting down and then she realized, like she heard like groans, she realized there was some guy in there inside the porta potty just laying there watching the shit come out and hitting him in the head.
00:18:26.000With his mouth open while she's shitting and pissing on him.
00:19:36.000Crisco has made his mark on the internet under a variety of monikers, including Omni Rainbow and Sky Orion, whose YouTube channel features clips, including this one, in which he demonstrates his thigh-rubbing technique.
00:19:51.000The video's not there for some reason.
00:20:17.000A slender, black-haired, white man standing between 6'5 and 6'8 inches tall with cuts on his back and arms wearing only a pair of sweatpants.
00:20:34.000Figure out what the hell they were talking about.
00:20:35.000Imagine like waiting there under the toilet in the port-a-potty for a hot chick to come in and just like Joey Diaz comes in like, oh, I'm excited about this.
00:20:43.000Oh, I've been eating Cuban sandwiches all week, pig.
00:20:46.000In June 2011, we noted that a woman attended the Hamann Festival, stepped into a portable laboratory, and when she lifted the toilet's lid, she saw something moving in the deep, dark depths below.
00:20:58.000Cue shock, horror, and quick escape when she fetched a man and asked him to look inside.
00:21:03.000He, too, saw some movement beneath a tarp inside the tank.
00:21:08.000And after exiting the chamber, he heard the door lock behind them.
00:21:11.000At that point, he summoned the security.
00:21:33.000He sat down with Fox 31 for a jailhouse interview in which he referred to spying on urinating or defecating women, in quotes, the highest creature in the universe.
00:21:44.000He maintained as, in quotes, praising God and said, in quotes, it sounds kind of weird, but I would just find my peace and go away.
00:21:56.000Say, thank you, goddess, and go about my night.
00:25:38.000People don't realize that before Fear Factor, Japanese game shows were on another level.
00:25:46.000They were doing some fucking insane shit on Japanese TV. That was some of the early YouTube clips we used to watch, was Japanese game shows.
00:26:22.000Because that was the same people that produced Fear Factor produced Wipeout.
00:26:26.000And they had MXC, where they would like auto-dub them or do the voice dubs, and it would seem a little funny, but they'd be like the waiters versus the service staff, and it'd be almost a big joke.
00:31:20.000Yeah, and look at what he used to do with his lips.
00:31:22.000He used to like make his lips cartoonishly exaggerated and he would sing, but he was like an obviously a white man singing in blackface as a black man.
00:31:34.000It's really weird to watch and he would wear white gloves on.
00:31:38.000Is it wrong that I feel weirder watching this than reading about the guy that was getting shit and pissed on?
00:31:43.000Is it wrong that you came quicker than the guy getting his dick sucked by that guy?
00:35:33.000And it was like a crazy review where some woman was, she was yelling, she was complaining that tips, that if you tip on a credit card that they don't get it until the end of the week and then it gets taxed.
00:36:03.000Yeah, that would be if they're pooling, perhaps, all the tips of the week together and splitting it amongst everybody, which only a really, really, really good restaurant would do.
00:36:14.000That seems like it doesn't encourage performance, though, right?
00:36:19.000Well, at that level of restaurants, the performance is a given.
00:36:24.000They're probably splitting vast sums of money because it's a full-blown machine.
00:36:41.000You have to know everything, and the whole thing's a well-oiled machine.
00:36:43.000I was a food runner, which basically means that I had to make sure that everything going to the tables was perfectly set up, because there's no fixing it once it leaves the door, right?
00:36:53.000So you're basically the final approver of everything, and the server's just waiting at the table, or follows behind you.
00:37:00.000You sit the tray down, and they do it, and you get 10% of all the server's tips.
00:37:30.000Well, this restaurant's a very nice restaurant.
00:38:19.000After Roseanne was on, I got a bunch of people that tweeted at me with these wacky conspiracies, like wacky mind control conspiracies.
00:38:31.000And what it seemed to me to be, I'm not a professional, but if I had to guess, a wave of mentally ill people were contacting me.
00:38:41.000And I was reading this, and I was like, Jesus Christ.
00:38:43.000How many of these fucking people are out there that believe, like, the most nuttiest CIA-based mind control experiments and NSA, you know, tapping into everything in your home and listening to your conversations by listening to the vibrations off of your window panes?
00:41:03.000Because he was talking about we ended up getting off on this whole, I don't know how we got there, but we started off on this whole tangent about just, you know, sobriety and stuff.
00:41:13.000And he's like, man, you know, back in my day.
00:41:17.000And he was, I can't remember the exact dialogue, but it was just...
00:41:21.000Yeah, I mean those guys were all, it was all just a blur.
00:43:11.000Because when Bert and him went walking, he was in way better shape than Bert.
00:43:14.000See, Ari rides his bike in New York, and he walks a lot in New York, and even though he's not in great shape, like in terms of a guy who runs, in comparison to Bert, he's in fantastic shape.
00:43:25.000When they went hiking together, Bert had to stop, like a bunch of times, like, we're going to stop, we're going to stop, and Ari was pissed off.
00:43:31.000He's like, why do I have to stop, because you're fat?
00:45:48.000My point is, Argus taught me something by telling me about this high that you get from all this cardio.
00:45:55.000And I was like, what kind of fucking nonsense is that?
00:45:58.000I knew that there was an endorphin high, but I didn't think it was really specific.
00:46:02.000But there's a very specific high that you get, and it's like, if you could take a pill that puts you in the state of mind that I am when I work out this much, everybody would take it.
00:46:13.000And the world would be a better place.
00:46:32.000And I wonder how much of that is there because your brain is almost trying to create problems and conflict because you're not getting enough exercise.
00:48:42.000At least he doesn't have like anxiety and negative chatter.
00:48:45.000The complex human mind when it doesn't have enough energy output.
00:48:48.000I always think of the brain as almost like a battery that has a lid on it and there's like energy is like flowing out of the battery and spilling over the sides and causing a mess.
00:48:57.000Because you got to expand or expend a certain amount of energy every day in order to keep it clean.
00:50:05.000It's easy for a comedian to not work out, and then when you factor that in that it's not a normal job, and you can go from your bed to your car to the venue to sit down at a table to wait till you go on stage, then you do that, you stand up,
00:50:21.000I don't think that had anything to do with it.
00:51:04.000Yeah, and that was one of the things that I really wanted to cover with Roseanne when I had her on the podcast, because all these people were calling her a racist, and alt-right, and this and that, all these different things.
00:51:14.000I'm like, listen, you don't understand this woman.
00:51:16.000First of all, one of the greatest stand-up comics of all time.
00:51:21.000Mentally ill and talks about it openly and is very honest about her troubles and what happened She was committed to a mental institution for nine months after this car accident I mean she was hit in the fucking head by a car The car was driving the sunlight was in her face.
00:51:37.000She couldn't see clipped her in the intersection sent her flying She was in intensive care for a long fucking time, in a coma for a long fucking time.
00:51:47.000Came out of it, was fucked up, couldn't concentrate in school, and then they committed her to a mental institution for nine months.
00:52:01.000So when people are talking about her, like, this is all something that she planned out because she's an evil person, that's like saying to a person who has a broken leg, why are you limping?
00:52:14.000Like, one of the reasons why she was so brilliant as a comedian, other than she worked hard and she writes and, you know, she's got a great mind for it.
00:52:25.000She truly was like incredibly impulsive and Insane and this is what allowed her to say things that other people wouldn't say Especially back then like people have to realize when Roseanne Barr was huge She was huge before I ever did comedy.
00:54:48.000But she prepared by doing all those years.
00:54:51.000For Roseanne Barr it was like instantaneous.
00:54:55.000The thing that bothered me most about all that stuff was how quickly everyone wanted to just cancel her, get rid of her, stop her from working ever again.
00:55:34.000It's like these people, I mean, except for Trump, I mean Trump's its own thing, but like trying to like destroy people that are artists, it's the weirdest thing.
00:55:46.000Well, it's people that are on the outside that are watching these people live these spectacular lives, and if something goes wrong, they're happy, because then that person has to be a regular person again, or even worse, they have to be a has-been, which people love.
01:00:37.000My favorite one of hers that she ever said was they were doing this thing on Fox News about Santa Claus, and someone had something about Santa Claus being black.
01:00:52.000They did something about Santa Claus being black.
01:00:54.000And she just went, well, Santa Claus is definitely white.
01:00:59.000And she was like, I think she said it to kids, like, kids, Santa Claus is definitely right.
01:01:04.000Or kids, Santa Claus is real, and he's definitely white.
01:01:07.000I forget what the exact terminology was.
01:01:10.000But she basically said Santa Claus is definitely white.
01:03:10.000But let's pretend that you were on The Tonight Show and you were a guest and you're like, I don't like being in the end of that port-a-potty.
01:06:08.000My fans are loving it, and they're the ones that stumbled into the wrong casino for the wrong show at the wrong time if they were looking for Christian puppet comedy or whatever.
01:09:00.000Like, I mean, what is happening in this world where someone's taking the time to write a letter to my manager, of all people, who, by the way, is laughing at the whole thing?
01:09:11.000Imagine if your manager dumped you for that.
01:09:54.000It's become such a running joke that Lex Friedman, the scientist from MIT who's on here the other day to talk about artificial intelligence, he brought it up as a joke.
01:11:50.000And it was weird, too, because, like, they took artistic license with, like, the way the automobiles worked and moved, and there was, like, a lot of flair to it that made it exciting.
01:17:39.000Because you could be, especially if you're living in Ohio like you were, or out here in Los Angeles, you might not know the history of cocaine in Miami.
01:17:48.000You might not know how fucking insane it was until you watch that documentary and you just go, what?
01:18:06.000There's one part of Cocaine Cowboys that I'll never forget, where they said that the entire graduating class of the police academy was either murdered or went to jail.
01:21:25.000Would be very very hard like as a Mentally, it seems like racking up those losses and such a lack of control the human body EMT workers too.
01:21:36.000Yeah, same kind of deal a buddy of mine told me Never date a female EMT worker.
01:21:41.000I go why and he goes they're crazy He goes they've seen so much violence.
01:26:24.000In a three-foot grave near a river not far from Boston, Pat McGonagall's body laid decaying, undisturbed, until his remains were found 20 years later.
01:26:32.000Part of his pelvic bone, a fractured skull, and a decomposed brain matter.
01:28:00.000Like, there's a mindset of someone who just wants to get better at a martial art, and there's a mindset of someone who's thinking about, okay, it's gonna come down, I'm gonna fucking get him right there!
01:28:09.000Okay, and I'm gonna get him right there!
01:28:11.000That guy was, like, when he would practice, there was a certain amount of focus and intensity that he had that was palpable.
01:28:37.000Here's the quote of, uh, bam, right there.
01:28:40.000Mr. Bulger's eyes appeared to have been dislodged from his head, although it was unclear whether his attackers gouged him out or they were knocked out because he was beaten so severely in the attack.
01:28:50.000This information was relayed by a senior law enforcement official who oversees organized crime cases.
01:33:51.000And I kicked him in the head so hard it broke his cheek, like his cheek shifted over.
01:33:58.000His face, I wheel kicked him, so I hit him with my heel in his face and he dropped down, he collapsed, went down to his, like, went down like face first, got up on his all fours,
01:34:13.000got back up again, wanted to keep going.
01:34:15.000And I said, I go, Richie, I go, you gotta look in the mirror.
01:35:30.000It was one of the rare times I hung out with him outside of the gym.
01:35:33.000He told me a story about how he had to fight off these guys with a broomstick in jail and how he's beating these guys to death with a broomstick.
01:35:43.000There's a horrible story about him being forced to mop up something in the bathroom and these guys cornered him and he's just fucking attacking them with this broomstick and about how he got extra time for that.
01:35:59.000I assume it was probably drug-related.
01:36:01.000I don't remember what it was, but I remember just being so nervous about being connected to people like that, like knowing people like that from the gym.
01:36:10.000Because there was people like that that always wanted to learn how to fight.
01:36:14.000Because you're teaching martial arts, you're training, those guys would always come in.
01:36:21.000Whenever it was time to spar, Scary times.
01:36:27.000If you were sparring with some friends, like I was sparring with my friend Leroy Rodriguez, a good friend of mine who was fast as lightning.
01:36:34.000This Puerto Rican guy was a bad motherfucker.
01:38:31.000Drops him to the ground, he gets up, the guy shoots a double, lifts his legs up in the air, and drops him on his head, and he just goes out.
01:41:24.000It was like leukemia or something like that.
01:41:26.000And we weren't expecting him to be there.
01:41:30.000Our head coach gave us one of those pep talks like, Coach Burton's coming tonight, and if he's coming after his son dies, then you motherfuckers better not give up!
01:41:40.000It was one of those super crazy, beyond all of our human potential, which is probably why I ended up in that position in the first place, because I'm just bridging for everything, including my assistant coach's son's spirit and all of this, you know what I mean?
01:45:09.000When you find out how vulnerable you are, the human brain, the way it's positioned in the head, all it has to do is get hit and yanked around.
01:45:19.000I think I have what they would call a good chin.
01:47:32.000Like, if I would have done that same show that I did in Connecticut, in Columbus, and there was a lady that looked that angry in the audience, one face looking at me, and I said, what are you so angry about?
01:48:47.000Basically, like, if any open-miker ever does, like, too racist of a joke, or if it's on the line or whatever, they're like, the judges, like, I'll, like, point to them, and it's like, uh, it's so funny.
01:48:58.000We call them the Apollo 13, because I said that they're like, yeah, it's like they even have shirts made.
01:49:03.000That's three of the members right there.
01:49:05.000I love how you're always adding new elements and always mixing it up.
01:49:09.000It is one of the best live podcast formats ever because it's so chaotic and you're guaranteed to either get good comedy or terrible comedy which equals great comedy.
01:49:23.000Just to show you a span, this past Monday we started the show off with a former reality star that was horrible, right?
01:50:21.000We're basically, when it comes to that PC stuff that we were talking about earlier, I don't know if there's many places where the vent for that, where you can get a real barometer, because look, we have the Apollo 13, which they're called the Apollo 13 because it's like Showtime at the Apollo,
01:50:36.000but there's like 13 of them, so I call them the Apollo 13, this group of black people.
01:50:41.000So, like, for example, a few weeks ago, this one kid, like, it doesn't even seem like he's 21, closes on this horrible joke about Kanye, somebody needs to throw Kanye a banana or something like that in the whole place.
01:50:55.000The whole place is in chaos, groaning, and the Apollo 13's standing up like, oh, hell no!
01:51:02.000And it's like, you know, since it's such a live show, that's sort of like...
01:51:08.000You know, if you make a racist joke that's not funny, you're gonna die, dude!
01:51:39.000And the fact that the background guys like Jeremiah and all those guys change outfits all the time and they're constantly doing new things.
01:54:18.000I look at my material like I'm a hater.
01:54:20.000If I was a hater, how would I poke fun at that?
01:54:22.000If I was someone who's looking to be offended, how would I... Get that out of the way.
01:54:27.000Like, there were some bits that I did in the last one, in Triggered, that I changed a lot of what they were from the beginning to when I put them on film.
01:54:37.000Because of the way audience members were reacting, I was like, well, clearly I'm having a problem with this where they're not...
01:55:50.000If there's a drunk dummy, how do I keep the drunk dummy from popping off before I get to the misdirect?
01:55:56.000So I had to restructure things, and I had to figure out a way to make it so that it's clear, and you just have to navigate the waters more carefully.
01:56:07.000But you can still get just as much juice out of it, just as much comedy, and just as much shit that's forbidden, just as many taboo topics.
01:56:21.000That's what's great about doing the clubs on the road before necessarily doing bigger venues or whatever, because you really can feel them.
01:57:47.000I mean, but let's just say a guy that's super-duper famous goes to a theater, you know, one of those big legends, what they don't do is they don't experiment not being funny.
01:57:58.000What they should do is they should have a secret five-minute experimental bit buried in their set that's purposely nothing funny about it, and run it.
01:58:07.000And when they hear those laughs, that's when they'll realize, like, oh, shit.
01:58:37.000It was one of those situations where someone was doing their material for their audience and you could tell they hadn't been working out in the clubs.
01:58:50.000That's the difference between that and say a set at the store when it's 11pm on a Tuesday night when they've already seen you and Joey Diaz and Ari and all these other killers.
02:00:37.000That's another thing that makes Kill Tony fun is it's like it was totally just it was a belly room baby and now you see this big man like having Kill Tony mania.
02:00:56.000I can't remember who I was talking to last night but I said Yeah, and I said it was the coolest 24 hours of my life because I picked everybody up at the comedy store.
02:02:19.000But the really cool thing, as cheesy as this is going to sound, is taking those 14 people, all with different backstories, all from different years and different amounts of appearances.
02:02:31.000Sarah Wineshank and Ali Mikofsky were regulars over the different years at different times.
02:02:38.000All the fans know from seeing them each a hundred times on a hundred different episodes and this guy and this guy and this guy and this guy and the band and everybody was just on fire.
02:02:47.000We met some of the best and worst people you can imagine in all of San Francisco.
02:02:53.000In the history of the 303 episodes of the show, there's only been one guy that ever walked off the stage angrily that couldn't handle the heat.
02:03:03.000That happened in San Francisco like two and a half years ago.
02:04:30.000And he's literally got like that comedy twitch muscle where he just riffs and it's the dumbest shit and the most glorious shit at the same time.
02:06:07.000And to do it in a small, intimate room, like the belly room, and to build it back up, you can get a logo and a big sign behind you, the golden pony hour.
02:10:19.000Do you remember the first time that we did Stockholm and you thought that you weren't doing well because they're very polite in between sets?
02:11:11.000They're going out to see comedy, which is a novelty.
02:11:14.000I'm sure they're Swedish comedians, but I'm sure the timing and the language is just very different, going from Swedish-style comedy to American-style comedy.