The Joe Rogan Experience - December 04, 2018


Joe Rogan Experience #1210 - Tom Papa


Episode Stats

Length

3 hours and 17 minutes

Words per Minute

185.42964

Word Count

36,542

Sentence Count

4,194

Misogynist Sentences

102

Hate Speech Sentences

74


Summary

We talk about the recent fight between Tyson Fury and Deontay Wilder, and the emotional post-fight speech that Tyson did in support of the people who got knocked down in the first half of the fight. We also talk about how amazing it was that Tyson was able to get back up after getting knocked down and finish the fight in the 12th and final round, and how he did it in a big way. We also discuss the crazy amount of money that Tyson gave to charity after the fight, and why we should all be thankful for it. And we talk a little bit about how great it was for the people with mental health that got up after being knocked down. We finish the episode with our thoughts on the recent events that took place in the world of sports and pop culture, and what we would like to see in the future of the sport of boxing and other sports involving mental health. Thanks for listening and Good Luck Out There! -The Guys Who Know Best XOXO -Jon & Tom <3. -Jon and Tom - The Guys Who Knocked You Down (feat. Jon & Tom) - Tom & Mike - Mikey - Mikey & Mikey - Chris - Cheers! - Jon and Mikey's Music - Cheers - Joe - Tom's Music - Chris - Chris' Music - Chris' Song of the Week - Michael's Song of The Week - "Don't Think Twice" - "I'm Too Effing Good Enough" - "Let's Talk About It" - "A Good Thing" - Michael's Theme Song - "Feat. by Jon's Song - - Josh's Song from "Noah" -- "I Don't Know What's Good Enough - "Papa's Song" by Shaggin' - "Let Me Hear It" by Jeff Perla - "Solo" by Ian D'Arcy - "Bobby's Song and "A Little More Than That's Song "Brujor" by Mr. Chacho - "We'll Figure It Out How To Be Good By You" by Soothe You're Not Good Enough? by Fergie - "Goodbye" by Bumble & I'm So Goodbye - "How Good Enough by You're Good Enough By You & I'll Get Better By You?"


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Interesting how promotions work.
00:00:02.000 Yeah.
00:00:03.000 Here we go.
00:00:04.000 Four, three, two, one.
00:00:08.000 So, Tom Pop and I are sitting here, and I say, did you see the fight on Saturday night?
00:00:13.000 And he said, the guy that got knocked down?
00:00:15.000 Mental health guy?
00:00:16.000 The mental health guy?
00:00:17.000 The guy who got up for everyone with mental health?
00:00:19.000 But he said, no, I didn't see the fight.
00:00:21.000 I only saw that.
00:00:23.000 This is how narratives work.
00:00:25.000 You know what I mean?
00:00:26.000 In this day and age especially, there's way too much information out there, right?
00:00:31.000 There's no way you could see every television show or watch every sporting event or know every scandal.
00:00:37.000 So when something happens, it's like, the blurb, the little summary that I have...
00:00:42.000 Absorbed.
00:00:43.000 My one buddy watched it on Instagram.
00:00:45.000 He posted a thing, and it was very heartfelt that he got up for all the people with mental health.
00:00:49.000 Yeah.
00:00:50.000 And I read that, and I feel like I experienced the whole thing.
00:00:53.000 But, you know, it's funny.
00:00:54.000 I don't know if he won or lost.
00:00:55.000 I know he got up.
00:00:56.000 It was a draw.
00:00:56.000 It was a draw.
00:00:57.000 Yeah, it was a draw.
00:00:58.000 Oh, okay.
00:00:59.000 And I don't have a firm opinion on whether or not the...
00:01:03.000 The draw was justified, because I only watched it once.
00:01:06.000 I thought that Tyson Fury won most of the rounds, except the two that he got knocked down in.
00:01:13.000 Tyson's the anti-mental health guy.
00:01:15.000 No, he's the white guy.
00:01:16.000 Oh, he's the white guy.
00:01:17.000 He's the white guy that got knocked down.
00:01:18.000 And Deontay Wilder, he's strange.
00:01:24.000 In that he has the most freaky punching power I think I've ever seen, ever.
00:01:29.000 That's what I heard, too.
00:01:30.000 He's not a big guy.
00:01:31.000 I mean, for a heavyweight, he's 212 pounds.
00:01:33.000 He looks pretty big, though.
00:01:34.000 Oh, he's jacked.
00:01:35.000 Yeah.
00:01:35.000 But he's shredded.
00:01:36.000 He has no fat on him whatsoever.
00:01:38.000 His back is where all the power is.
00:01:40.000 And that's where his muscle is.
00:01:42.000 You see his back.
00:01:42.000 It's just a bundle of snakes.
00:01:45.000 His back is huge.
00:01:46.000 When I saw the clip, he knocked him out and then backed up and did a little dance.
00:01:50.000 Yeah, and Tyson got up.
00:01:51.000 Yeah, that guy looked pretty badass.
00:01:52.000 But fuck that guy Wilder punches so hard.
00:01:54.000 And that was in the 12th and final round.
00:01:56.000 Oh, that was?
00:01:57.000 Of a fight where he was mostly losing.
00:01:59.000 He was mostly getting boxed up.
00:02:00.000 He was mostly getting outboxed.
00:02:02.000 But then he would land, and he landed real hard in like, what was it, like the 8th or the 9th?
00:02:07.000 Something like that.
00:02:08.000 Something like that.
00:02:09.000 He dropped him.
00:02:10.000 But that wasn't a big knockdown.
00:02:12.000 Right.
00:02:12.000 He knocked him down, but he got up pretty quick and he was okay.
00:02:15.000 But in the 12th, he fucking blasted him.
00:02:19.000 Right.
00:02:19.000 He hit him with a right hand and then as he was falling, he hit him with a left hook on the chin as he was going down.
00:02:24.000 And he laid flat on his back with his arms down.
00:02:27.000 He looked unconscious.
00:02:28.000 Yeah, he really did.
00:02:29.000 And then he rose like Lazarus.
00:02:31.000 I know.
00:02:32.000 And he looked pretty sharp when he got on his feet.
00:02:34.000 He won the rest of the round.
00:02:35.000 Yeah.
00:02:36.000 He won the rest of the round and stung him.
00:02:37.000 He stung Deontay Wilder.
00:02:40.000 It was crazy.
00:02:40.000 Because of the mental health kids.
00:02:42.000 Yes.
00:02:42.000 He was doing it for the mental health people.
00:02:44.000 You think that's really what he was thinking when you're getting up off the canvas?
00:02:47.000 I'm doing it for the kids.
00:02:48.000 I would never doubt him.
00:02:49.000 Yeah.
00:02:50.000 Because he's a very unusual guy.
00:02:54.000 And he donated his entire purse to charity.
00:02:57.000 Wow.
00:02:58.000 All of it.
00:02:58.000 Like $8 million.
00:02:59.000 Really?
00:03:00.000 Yeah.
00:03:00.000 Yeah, he donated all of it to charity.
00:03:02.000 Holy cow.
00:03:03.000 Yeah.
00:03:04.000 That's great.
00:03:05.000 He's a fucking really unusual guy.
00:03:07.000 He's been in here.
00:03:08.000 He was in the podcast when he was gearing up for the fight.
00:03:11.000 So I should call him the super nice mental health guy.
00:03:13.000 He's a very nice guy.
00:03:15.000 Very nice guy.
00:03:15.000 Is he big?
00:03:16.000 Giant.
00:03:16.000 6'9".
00:03:17.000 6'9".
00:03:18.000 So when you're sitting here, you feel like he's a giant.
00:03:21.000 But he's a super sweetheart.
00:03:22.000 Very friendly guy.
00:03:24.000 Geez.
00:03:25.000 Yeah, really well-spoken.
00:03:26.000 You know, he's got that heavy traveler's accent.
00:03:28.000 He's a traveler.
00:03:29.000 Had he made money before?
00:03:30.000 Oh, yeah.
00:03:30.000 He's a world champion.
00:03:31.000 So he's like...
00:03:32.000 He was a world champion.
00:03:33.000 He's got bank.
00:03:33.000 Mm-hmm.
00:03:34.000 And almost killed himself in a Ferrari.
00:03:36.000 Almost committed suicide.
00:03:37.000 He was just headed towards a bridge.
00:03:39.000 He was just gonna fucking either slam into the bridge or drive off the bridge.
00:03:43.000 That was his mental health issue.
00:03:44.000 Yeah, he was going 160 miles an hour, like, headed towards the bridge and changed his mind.
00:03:48.000 Jeez Louise.
00:03:49.000 That's what he looked like before he started his comeback.
00:03:52.000 What?
00:03:52.000 Yeah, he was 300 pounds.
00:03:54.000 What?
00:03:54.000 300 plus, right?
00:03:56.000 How much did he say he was?
00:03:57.000 I want to say 485, but...
00:03:59.000 Yeah, something crazy.
00:04:00.000 Because I'm just saying 300, but that doesn't make any sense.
00:04:03.000 This is 180 kilograms, so 180 times 2.2 is...
00:04:05.000 That's like...
00:04:07.000 What is that?
00:04:07.000 Close to 400 pounds, I think.
00:04:08.000 Yeah.
00:04:09.000 Oh, my God.
00:04:11.000 He's...
00:04:11.000 So he was champ, then he fell off and became that chubby?
00:04:15.000 Well, what happened was he beat Vladimir Klitschko, who was a long-time heavyweight champion.
00:04:21.000 I mean, Vladimir Klitschko was the champ forever.
00:04:23.000 Yeah.
00:04:23.000 Yeah.
00:04:23.000 And he outboxed him, like soundly outboxed him and beat him and then was like, now what?
00:04:29.000 And went into a depression and started drinking hard, partying hard, a lot of cocaine and just fucked his life up.
00:04:36.000 Because he achieved what he wanted to achieve.
00:04:38.000 I mean, he's calling it mental health, you know, because of depression and all those things.
00:04:42.000 But part of me wants to say that a lot of that is...
00:04:46.000 I mean, I don't know.
00:04:47.000 Obviously, I've never been inside of his head.
00:04:48.000 But when you're doing that much coke and drinking that much...
00:05:10.000 Well, there's always that There's always that part of it where you know that there are those personalities and there's genetics involved and it gets you into the drugs, but then the drugs start going to work on your brain and then it becomes something different.
00:05:29.000 It's no longer your own consciousness that's working.
00:05:32.000 It's this sponge that just absorbed all of these toxins and who knows what's misfiring, what's happening at that point.
00:05:40.000 We say that as we drink wine.
00:05:41.000 Cheers.
00:05:42.000 Cheers.
00:05:42.000 Happy holidays.
00:05:43.000 Thank you for this.
00:05:44.000 We do a little heroin on the holidays.
00:05:46.000 Whatever.
00:05:46.000 A little fucking method.
00:05:47.000 I was going to bring you some wine today.
00:05:49.000 This was nice of you to open this.
00:05:51.000 This is good stuff.
00:05:52.000 Whatever this is.
00:05:52.000 I don't know jack shit about wine.
00:05:54.000 I learned a great method.
00:05:56.000 For Thanksgiving about wine.
00:05:57.000 I went to this place in LA. It's called 2020 Wine.
00:06:03.000 It's like this...
00:06:04.000 It looks like Raiders of the Lost Ark.
00:06:06.000 It's on the 405. And you just walk in.
00:06:09.000 It's just wine.
00:06:10.000 This huge room.
00:06:12.000 Racks and stuff.
00:06:13.000 It's so elegant.
00:06:14.000 It's just like this great place to be.
00:06:16.000 It's cool.
00:06:17.000 It's like temperature-wise.
00:06:18.000 It's great.
00:06:19.000 And it's intimidating because they have...
00:06:21.000 You know, I don't know that much about wine.
00:06:23.000 I want to, but...
00:06:25.000 And I realized this was my strategy and it worked out perfectly.
00:06:28.000 I went to the guy who works there and I said, look, I have 12 people coming over for Thanksgiving.
00:06:36.000 Show me a $20 bottle of wine or less that I can buy a bunch of for my friends.
00:06:42.000 That's going to blow everyone away.
00:06:44.000 And he lit up like a Christmas tree.
00:06:47.000 It's like, this is what he wants to do.
00:06:50.000 It's like, yeah, there's 200 dollar bottles of wine.
00:06:53.000 We know what that is.
00:06:55.000 Come with me.
00:06:56.000 And there it is.
00:06:57.000 And he took me into the back and he found these, he's like, this one's from Spain.
00:07:02.000 $18.
00:07:03.000 No one knows it exists.
00:07:04.000 The best wine I've had all year.
00:07:08.000 Another one, this Italian Barolo that nobody knows about, and look at this, it's only $12 a bottle, because nobody knows we have extra cases.
00:07:15.000 It became like his, of course, that's what a wine guy wants to do, like turn you on.
00:07:20.000 Is the wine thing that a name is just as important as how good it is?
00:07:24.000 Sure.
00:07:25.000 Like when people, you know, an Opus One or a Caymus, we all know that, because it's like the Mercedes of wines.
00:07:32.000 Cigars are like that as well.
00:07:33.000 I know more about cigars.
00:07:35.000 I don't know much about cigars, but I know more about cigars than I know about wine.
00:07:38.000 And, like, everybody wants a Cuban.
00:07:39.000 Oh, yeah.
00:07:40.000 A Cohiba.
00:07:41.000 Yeah.
00:07:41.000 Oh, Monte Cristo.
00:07:43.000 Everybody wants something that's hard to get.
00:07:47.000 Yeah.
00:07:47.000 But I was like, oh, this is how you should do it.
00:07:50.000 Find a good wine shop and go to the guy who's waiting to be asked that question.
00:07:54.000 Yeah.
00:07:54.000 And he's so excited to show you what he learned.
00:07:57.000 And he works in a wine shop, so he's not spending $500 for a bottle either.
00:08:01.000 He knows the good shit.
00:08:02.000 My buddy Mark Dellegrate and I were in Florida.
00:08:04.000 We were eating at this very nice Italian restaurant with a bunch of people from the UFC. And we just said, let's get a nice bottle of wine.
00:08:10.000 You ever have a nice bottle of wine?
00:08:11.000 I'm like, I've had good bottles of wine, but this place had bottles of wine from the 70s.
00:08:17.000 So I said, alright, let's go fucking crazy.
00:08:19.000 And I bought a bottle of wine from 1974. Oh my god.
00:08:22.000 This is better.
00:08:23.000 This is better.
00:08:24.000 This one's better.
00:08:25.000 It was weird.
00:08:27.000 I guess if you're a real connoisseur, part of it is like, Roberto Duran was the champ when this was bottled.
00:08:35.000 There's stuff about it.
00:08:38.000 I was in the third grade!
00:08:41.000 There's something about it.
00:08:42.000 This is from Mrs. McMillan.
00:08:43.000 But it felt like it had less alcohol.
00:08:47.000 And I think that's one of the things that maybe happens.
00:08:50.000 The flavor starts to morph and change.
00:08:54.000 It just felt less potent.
00:08:57.000 Almost more watered down.
00:08:58.000 It wasn't that good.
00:09:00.000 I enjoyed it, but I didn't love it.
00:09:02.000 Right.
00:09:03.000 And you probably paid a lot for it.
00:09:05.000 It was like $1,000.
00:09:06.000 Yeah.
00:09:06.000 Yeah.
00:09:07.000 I'm not joking.
00:09:07.000 Yeah.
00:09:08.000 I think it was a $1,000 bottle of wine.
00:09:09.000 I'm telling you.
00:09:10.000 So stupid.
00:09:11.000 On Thanksgiving, it was $18 bottles of wine.
00:09:14.000 It's probably way better than that.
00:09:15.000 And blowing our heads off.
00:09:15.000 Yeah.
00:09:16.000 Probably way better.
00:09:17.000 So great.
00:09:17.000 Yeah.
00:09:18.000 I try and learn about them.
00:09:20.000 And there are certain wines, they say, like there's certain Brunellos that like...
00:09:24.000 Those should age, and those you can go like 20 years, and they'll get even better at 30. And then there's other wines, at that same amount of time, they'll go sour and they'll get funky.
00:09:34.000 So it's so hard to tell.
00:09:36.000 There's apps.
00:09:37.000 There's an app that I have.
00:09:39.000 I've never fucking opened it once, but I downloaded it.
00:09:41.000 It's like Vino.
00:09:42.000 Vino.
00:09:43.000 Oh, you almost went down with that.
00:09:45.000 It's got a powerful lid.
00:09:47.000 Oh, it's got a powerful lid?
00:09:48.000 Nice.
00:09:48.000 Because that was headed towards the board.
00:09:50.000 James, he's not even drinking one.
00:09:51.000 I don't fuck with laptops in front of me anymore.
00:09:53.000 I've learned my lesson.
00:09:54.000 I was doing a show on Saturday.
00:09:56.000 My friend had a laptop.
00:09:58.000 She had a glass of water and a salad on the keyboard.
00:10:03.000 I'm like, what are you doing?
00:10:04.000 How confident are you?
00:10:05.000 It's like having a gun on your baby's head.
00:10:07.000 Like, sit the gun here.
00:10:09.000 Rest your head on the gun.
00:10:11.000 Separate it.
00:10:12.000 No, but this was such a great way to do it.
00:10:15.000 You can focus in on one kind of wine and really kind of learn it.
00:10:19.000 And that's a lot.
00:10:21.000 That would be a lot of studying.
00:10:22.000 To learn all of wine and go into a fancy restaurant and be like, I'm just going to pick from the mint.
00:10:27.000 You can.
00:10:27.000 Right, right.
00:10:28.000 I think it's one of those things where you really have to talk to someone who's put in the time.
00:10:35.000 Yes.
00:10:36.000 Totally.
00:10:38.000 Here's something that I know a lot about.
00:10:40.000 Pool cues.
00:10:41.000 I know a lot about pool cues.
00:10:43.000 So if you come to me and you say, hey, I'm thinking about buying this pool cue, what do you think?
00:10:49.000 I'll go, okay.
00:10:50.000 Well, here's what you need to know.
00:10:51.000 That's a very expensive pool cue, and it's expensive because it's a collector's item because the guy who makes it is dead.
00:10:57.000 However, in terms of how it plays, it does not play any better than a pool cue that costs one small fraction of what that costs.
00:11:04.000 And I could turn you on to a bunch of...
00:11:06.000 Custom pool cue makers that make a really good cue for a fraction of what you would pay for that cue.
00:11:13.000 And I'm telling you, you would play with this cue and be happy with it for the rest of your life.
00:11:16.000 But it'll cost you $500 as opposed to...
00:11:20.000 There's cues that are $15,000, $20,000 and up.
00:11:24.000 They're really ornate and beautiful ones.
00:11:27.000 And this is a lifetime, your adult lifetime of learning about this.
00:11:30.000 Oh, man.
00:11:31.000 You've been immersed.
00:11:31.000 I started playing pool in 1998. 90-ish, 91, 1991. That's when I probably bought my first pool cue.
00:11:39.000 What's a good pool cue for bumper pool?
00:11:44.000 My neighbors had a bumper pool table when I was a kid.
00:11:48.000 It was badass.
00:11:49.000 It's pretty stupid.
00:11:50.000 It was so stupid.
00:11:51.000 Such a dumb game.
00:11:53.000 My friend, the older brother Mark, he was the dominant one because he was able to jump over the bumpers and get on the other side.
00:12:00.000 It's called cheating.
00:12:01.000 Yeah, cheating.
00:12:03.000 Yeah, jumping is a very controversial thing in the world of pool.
00:12:07.000 You're not allowed to jump?
00:12:08.000 Well, there's jumping and then there's bar table jumping, right?
00:12:13.000 Like when you play with people on a bar, they think they're jumping the pool cue, but what they're doing is they're scooping under the cue ball with their tip.
00:12:21.000 Like they go under it and it sort of makes the cue ball pop up in the air.
00:12:25.000 It's really like miscueing is what it's like.
00:12:27.000 It's a foul.
00:12:28.000 The way you're supposed to jump a ball is shoot down on it and make it hop over.
00:12:33.000 Have you seen this before?
00:12:34.000 Yeah, that's a McDermott.
00:12:37.000 It's called the Excalibur or some shit like that.
00:12:40.000 That's a pool cue?
00:12:40.000 It is, but it isn't.
00:12:42.000 It's foolish.
00:12:43.000 It looks like a sickle that the Grim Reaper comes to take you away with.
00:12:47.000 Well, this was a queue that was made a long time ago.
00:12:50.000 It was made back in the fucking 90s or something.
00:12:52.000 But that's not the most expensive pool queue in the world.
00:12:54.000 Is that whole thing the queue?
00:12:55.000 It says it's sold for $150,000.
00:12:57.000 That's not the most expensive queue in the world, no.
00:12:59.000 No, the most expensive queue in the world is a Gina queue.
00:13:02.000 Gina queue is actually right here in North Hollywood.
00:13:05.000 They call it the most expensive queue in the world.
00:13:07.000 Is that whole thing the queue?
00:13:08.000 It's nonsense.
00:13:09.000 Or is that a stand and a queue?
00:13:11.000 It's a cue.
00:13:12.000 That whole, all the blades and everything like that.
00:13:14.000 What would you do with that?
00:13:15.000 It's nonsense.
00:13:16.000 It's nonsense.
00:13:17.000 I'm telling you, it's nonsense.
00:13:18.000 It's nonsense.
00:13:19.000 It's like having a car and you decide to glue diamonds on it.
00:13:21.000 It's fucking stupid.
00:13:22.000 It's the most expensive car in the world.
00:13:25.000 It costs a billion dollars.
00:13:26.000 Shut the fuck up.
00:13:27.000 That cue weighs nine and a half pounds.
00:13:30.000 You know what a real cue weighs?
00:13:32.000 A very heavy cue, very heavy, is 21 ounces.
00:13:36.000 If you find out that a pro plays with a 21 ounce cue, you're like, wow.
00:13:40.000 Rarely a guy will play with a 24 ounce cue and you're like, wow, that guy's crazy.
00:13:44.000 That fucking thing is nine and a half pounds.
00:13:47.000 That piece of shit.
00:13:48.000 That's like the women that get the gigantic hippity hops for boobs.
00:13:55.000 It's like everyone's getting big and then that one you're like, alright.
00:13:57.000 They get like triple Z boobs.
00:14:00.000 That's just not a real pool cue.
00:14:01.000 What's the one in North Hollywood?
00:14:03.000 Well, he makes...
00:14:04.000 His name is Ernie Gutierrez and he makes all sorts...
00:14:10.000 I have one of his cues.
00:14:11.000 That's Ernie right there.
00:14:12.000 He makes...
00:14:14.000 I mean...
00:14:15.000 Wasn't he married to Cher?
00:14:16.000 No.
00:14:17.000 That's Sonny Bono.
00:14:18.000 You guys dead.
00:14:18.000 You're an asshole.
00:14:19.000 I gotta end this podcast now.
00:14:22.000 Ernie is...
00:14:23.000 I mean, he's like a real innovator in the world of pool cues.
00:14:27.000 He makes beautiful, beautiful cues.
00:14:28.000 That is beautiful.
00:14:29.000 But he had one that he made that was filled with like...
00:14:32.000 I don't want to say what the material was, but I believe it had an ivory handle.
00:14:37.000 The handle was made out of solid ivory, and I think it had gold and all sorts of other shit in it.
00:14:42.000 But it went for a half a million dollars.
00:14:44.000 It's worth a half a million dollars, but I think the deal is that he won't sell it.
00:14:48.000 He's very wealthy.
00:14:49.000 He does really well.
00:14:50.000 All from that?
00:14:51.000 All from making pool cues?
00:14:52.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:14:52.000 His pool cues, like in Japan and all throughout Asia, they're really revered.
00:14:58.000 He can sell his stuff.
00:15:15.000 It's like 3D printing?
00:15:18.000 No, no.
00:15:21.000 What it is, is like you have a design and you put it into this computer and you put the, I don't know 100% of the process, but you put the specifications like how wide you want inlays to be and they make them exactly the same size and the points fit exactly the same way.
00:15:41.000 Wow.
00:15:42.000 Yeah, it's all super complicated stuff.
00:15:44.000 But the point is like, if you were a guy who wanted to buy a pool cue, And you just, you know, went to a website.
00:15:52.000 Right.
00:15:53.000 You're lost.
00:15:54.000 You're lost like me trying to buy wine.
00:15:56.000 In a wine shop.
00:15:57.000 Yeah.
00:15:57.000 You're like, I don't know what the fuck I'm looking at.
00:15:58.000 Right, exactly.
00:15:59.000 Yeah.
00:16:00.000 It's weird.
00:16:00.000 Yeah.
00:16:01.000 This is good wine, though.
00:16:02.000 What is this?
00:16:02.000 It's very good.
00:16:03.000 This is Chateau Vigneux.
00:16:07.000 Ooh, I didn't know you spoke French.
00:16:09.000 I do.
00:16:10.000 Oui, oui.
00:16:11.000 You see Paris is going crazy right now?
00:16:13.000 They've been having these crazy riots?
00:16:15.000 Yeah.
00:16:15.000 No, what's up?
00:16:16.000 Every time I think about visiting Paris, there's some new shit that goes down over there.
00:16:20.000 I know, it kind of feels like a little, like a jewel box that is about to explode all the time.
00:16:26.000 It's not good, man.
00:16:27.000 You know, it's not good.
00:16:29.000 Is it workers?
00:16:30.000 What kind of...
00:16:30.000 Well, the weird thing is everyone is rioting is wearing those reflective vests.
00:16:36.000 What?
00:16:36.000 Like, see that?
00:16:37.000 Yeah.
00:16:37.000 That's Paris right now?
00:16:38.000 Yep.
00:16:39.000 They're wearing these yellow reflective vests and lighting things on fire and smashing stores.
00:16:43.000 Who is?
00:16:44.000 These Gucci and...
00:16:45.000 These protesters.
00:16:46.000 They've been going...
00:16:47.000 Scroll back up so we can read them.
00:16:48.000 Oh my god, that looks violent.
00:16:49.000 It says 17 pictures.
00:16:51.000 Oh, it's terrible.
00:16:52.000 And it keeps getting worse.
00:16:54.000 It keeps getting worse.
00:16:55.000 I mean, it started November 17th when French drivers sporting yellow vests led a demonstration.
00:17:00.000 Apparently it has to do with oil prices, rising fuel prices.
00:17:04.000 280,000 people.
00:17:05.000 Four people have died.
00:17:07.000 Hundreds have been injured.
00:17:08.000 Thousands of dollars worth of property has been damaged.
00:17:10.000 The protest has started November 17th when French drivers sporting yellow vests led a demonstration of 280,000 people across the country to push back against the rising taxes on gas and diesel.
00:17:20.000 What?
00:17:21.000 French President Emmanuel Macron Macron.
00:17:24.000 I love a nice Macron.
00:17:26.000 As part of his many economic reforms, announced the gas taxes earlier this year to minimize France's reliance on fossil fuels.
00:17:33.000 That's a fucking shitty way to handle reliance on fossil fuels.
00:17:38.000 You do the opposite, you cunt face.
00:17:40.000 What?
00:17:40.000 You don't charge people money.
00:17:42.000 You don't charge people extra money and make it more expensive.
00:17:45.000 Then they'll use it less.
00:17:46.000 You give them subsidies for electric cars, you stupid prick.
00:17:49.000 Yes.
00:17:50.000 Don't you understand the American way, you piece of shit?
00:17:53.000 Jesus, I love talking real authoritative about things I know nothing about.
00:17:57.000 What does it say?
00:17:58.000 Scroll back up there?
00:18:00.000 Scroll back to where it was?
00:18:02.000 The price of fuel, that's it.
00:18:04.000 30 cents a gallon.
00:18:05.000 They went crazy.
00:18:06.000 30 cents a gallon.
00:18:06.000 They're trying to kill people.
00:18:07.000 Gas already costs about $7 per gallon in France.
00:18:11.000 Fuck that, man.
00:18:13.000 So it's just going to break people's backs and they're not going to be able to drive you to their bread shop.
00:18:17.000 Do you remember when Bush was leaving office and they jacked the fucking price of gas way up?
00:18:21.000 Yeah.
00:18:22.000 Dude.
00:18:22.000 But there's people that were panicking.
00:18:24.000 Yeah.
00:18:25.000 You know?
00:18:25.000 September 11th, there was, like, lines everywhere.
00:18:27.000 Oh, right.
00:18:27.000 Because we thought it was going to just empty.
00:18:29.000 That's right.
00:18:30.000 Yeah.
00:18:31.000 But the price didn't...
00:18:32.000 I don't think the price radically went up.
00:18:34.000 Some places were charging, like, 25 bucks a gallon.
00:18:37.000 Assholes.
00:18:38.000 They should go to jail.
00:18:38.000 Yeah, that's so gross.
00:18:39.000 Assholes.
00:18:40.000 But that's kind of insane.
00:18:42.000 Like, people used to have riots like that when wheat would spike and people couldn't eat.
00:18:47.000 Whoa, look at this.
00:18:47.000 They're, like, in cars on fire.
00:18:49.000 Oh, my God.
00:18:50.000 That's a shitty little car anyway.
00:18:51.000 The guy probably wanted to light it on fire.
00:18:53.000 Yeah, finally.
00:18:55.000 He's not even part of the protest.
00:18:57.000 He just happened to light his car on fire that day.
00:18:59.000 Somebody was telling me about this.
00:19:01.000 I was at a little kid's party.
00:19:03.000 I was talking to one of the dads.
00:19:04.000 And he was telling me about this.
00:19:08.000 The thing that happened, I think it was in Northern California, it was a fire.
00:19:15.000 Fuck, it might not have been Northern California.
00:19:16.000 It was a fire, and initially they thought it was just a fire, but then the CEO and his vice president were, both of their houses caught fire.
00:19:31.000 So then they thought it was like an attack on both people.
00:19:34.000 And then they realized, no, it was a murder.
00:19:36.000 And one of the guys killed the guy and his family and then lit his house on fire and then went back to his house and lit his own house on fire to make it look like they were going after both of them.
00:19:48.000 And he's the only one that survived?
00:19:49.000 Yeah.
00:19:50.000 Whoopsies.
00:19:50.000 That just happened in New Jersey.
00:19:52.000 A guy...
00:19:52.000 Was it in New Jersey?
00:19:53.000 Maybe that was it.
00:19:54.000 A guy murdered his whole family.
00:19:55.000 No, his own family.
00:19:57.000 Yeah.
00:19:57.000 And then lit the house on fire.
00:19:59.000 Then maybe that's it.
00:20:00.000 Maybe I'm getting a fucked up version of the story.
00:20:01.000 I get drunk at kid parties, too.
00:20:03.000 Oh.
00:20:03.000 It's the only way to go by.
00:20:05.000 Family massacre disguised as a massive fire in New Jersey.
00:20:08.000 Yeah, that's it.
00:20:09.000 This is the story.
00:20:10.000 So make that a little larger, please.
00:20:12.000 It says there was more than a brotherly bond between Paul and Keith.
00:20:16.000 Yeah, that's right.
00:20:16.000 We're part of New Jersey.
00:20:18.000 That's where I'm from.
00:20:19.000 Vacation together and settled about 11 miles from each other in the suburbs of New Jersey.
00:20:24.000 But two days before Thanksgiving, a horrific chain of events would forever tear them apart.
00:20:28.000 Oh, his brother?
00:20:29.000 Yeah, that's what it is.
00:20:31.000 Oh, man.
00:20:31.000 So I was getting a really fucked up version of the story.
00:20:35.000 Paul, how do you say that name?
00:20:37.000 Canario?
00:20:39.000 Caniero.
00:20:39.000 Caniero.
00:20:40.000 Caniero.
00:20:41.000 Caniero.
00:20:41.000 The Caniero brothers.
00:20:43.000 Killing his youngest brother, his sister-in-law, and their children.
00:20:47.000 Oh.
00:20:47.000 This is what's fucked up.
00:20:48.000 Like, what...
00:20:50.000 How does a guy go from never killing anybody to killing a wife and daughter?
00:20:56.000 So he killed his brother and his brother's whole family?
00:21:00.000 Yeah.
00:21:00.000 Oh my god.
00:21:01.000 I thought he killed his own family.
00:21:02.000 Then he set his own home on fire with his wife and daughter inside.
00:21:06.000 Tried to make it look as if the whole family had been targeted.
00:21:08.000 His family got out of the home safely.
00:21:10.000 Can you imagine the panic?
00:21:13.000 What the fuck, man?
00:21:15.000 You just murder these people.
00:21:16.000 You run back and you light your own house on fire.
00:21:19.000 Can you imagine, while you're lighting your house on fire, thinking the intensity of, this is going to work.
00:21:26.000 I'm going to get out of this.
00:21:27.000 This is where the plan goes.
00:21:29.000 And poof.
00:21:30.000 What's really fucked up is how does a person kill...
00:21:33.000 I mean, I understand you're mad at a guy and you fucking hate each other.
00:21:36.000 Fuck you.
00:21:37.000 Fuck you!
00:21:38.000 And you start fighting and then you wind up killing each other.
00:21:40.000 How do you kill his wife and daughters?
00:21:43.000 How do you do that?
00:21:45.000 What switch goes on?
00:21:46.000 Is he just trying to...
00:21:48.000 Yeah, because he's just walking around.
00:21:50.000 Go back up.
00:21:51.000 It says he's killed his sister-in-law.
00:21:53.000 It said he's accused of killing his younger brother, his sister-in-law, and their children.
00:21:58.000 Like, how many children?
00:22:00.000 Like, who?
00:22:00.000 He killed kids.
00:22:02.000 So this is a guy who's never murdered anybody.
00:22:04.000 Just walking around Colts Neck Township, New Jersey.
00:22:06.000 Yeah, he's a businessman.
00:22:08.000 Probably never done anything really major in his life.
00:22:12.000 Right, probably was at a business meeting two days before with some guy.
00:22:17.000 What the fuck, man?
00:22:18.000 Just living his life, talking about the Giants.
00:22:21.000 Like, what the fuck?
00:22:22.000 What is that?
00:22:23.000 His wife and his two daughters...
00:22:26.000 Oh, several twists in the case.
00:22:28.000 Oh no, look at that.
00:22:28.000 Look at that.
00:22:29.000 He then allegedly set his own home on fire with his wife and his daughters inside.
00:22:34.000 Did you not hear me say that?
00:22:36.000 I thought you were talking about his brother's family.
00:22:38.000 No, no.
00:22:39.000 He killed his brother and his family, set the house on fire, then lit his own house on fire to make it look like he was being targeted.
00:22:45.000 I knew that, but I didn't know he had kids in his house.
00:22:49.000 Yeah, his wife and his daughters were inside.
00:22:50.000 Oh my god.
00:22:51.000 To try to make it look as if his whole family was being targeted, his brother and him.
00:22:54.000 Oh my god.
00:22:56.000 His family got out of the home safely.
00:22:59.000 Wow.
00:23:00.000 Fucking unbelievable.
00:23:02.000 Think about his kids right now.
00:23:03.000 We're like, what did dad?
00:23:04.000 What?
00:23:05.000 Yeah.
00:23:05.000 What?
00:23:06.000 Jesus Christ.
00:23:07.000 He...
00:23:08.000 Oh my god.
00:23:10.000 What a monster.
00:23:11.000 Family of four was killed before sunrise.
00:23:13.000 Scroll up there.
00:23:13.000 Somewhere between midnight and 5 a.m., Paul Caniero was walking around his brother's $1.5 million Colts Neck home, armed with a knife and a gun.
00:23:25.000 His brother's been in front of the White Mansion when a deadly confrontation unfolded.
00:23:30.000 Paul fired multiple shots, striking Keith.
00:23:33.000 Fucking aim.
00:23:34.000 When you got mad at me for not following the story clearly, did you feel like you could kill me?
00:23:38.000 No, not yet.
00:23:39.000 No.
00:23:40.000 I need more.
00:23:41.000 I need more than that.
00:23:43.000 Jesus Christ.
00:23:44.000 He walked inside, found Keith's wife, Jennifer.
00:23:49.000 He shot and stabbed her, and then stabbed their children.
00:23:52.000 Jesse, 11, and Sophia, 8. What the fuck, man?
00:23:56.000 What the hell?
00:23:56.000 Then he took some documents and set a fire in the basement.
00:24:00.000 What were they doing, like, the week before?
00:24:02.000 He fucking stabbed an eight-year-old dude.
00:24:04.000 An eight-year-old girl.
00:24:06.000 In her sleep.
00:24:07.000 How the fuck does someone...
00:24:08.000 In her sleep.
00:24:10.000 Did it say in her sleep?
00:24:12.000 Well, it was 5 a.m.
00:24:14.000 Doesn't matter, man.
00:24:15.000 There's gunshots in the house.
00:24:16.000 The kids might have gotten up.
00:24:19.000 Oh my god.
00:24:20.000 Good lord.
00:24:21.000 What a monster.
00:24:22.000 A monster!
00:24:23.000 What was this guy like the month before?
00:24:26.000 Like, what the hell?
00:24:27.000 Look at that normal looking house.
00:24:29.000 Shit, that is the normalest looking normal house ever.
00:24:32.000 Do you believe that there is always a presence of good and evil in the world?
00:24:40.000 Like, that it's not just evil deeds.
00:24:43.000 What this guy did was evil.
00:24:45.000 But do you believe that there is a real presence of evil that it's like a thing that takes over people or takes over – you know what I mean?
00:24:58.000 Like good and evil.
00:25:01.000 Is that more than just people's actions or is it like a force of nature?
00:25:05.000 Is there a good force of nature and an evil force of nature that is constantly – Using people and using things as a catalyst or as an instrument.
00:25:16.000 Let's break this down.
00:25:17.000 I don't think nature is the right way to approach it because I don't think there's good or evil in nature.
00:25:21.000 I think nature is actually far more moral than humans are because with nature it's just about survival, right?
00:25:28.000 It's predators and prey and they kill things and eat things, but When animals in nature kill, like what they call surplus killings, where wolves will kill like 18 elk and not eat them, they're just going on their instincts.
00:25:43.000 These things are there to be killed and they can get them because they can't run away.
00:25:46.000 Maybe it's thick snow or something like that.
00:25:48.000 So they just can't help it.
00:25:49.000 They just tear them apart.
00:25:50.000 Because their instincts are...
00:25:56.000 We're good to go.
00:26:10.000 It's very different.
00:26:11.000 Because with humans, there's consequences, right?
00:26:14.000 And there's law.
00:26:15.000 And there's other humans finding out.
00:26:17.000 So there's deception.
00:26:18.000 And then there's selfishness.
00:26:21.000 And there's the fear of getting caught.
00:26:24.000 And then there's your own survival instincts.
00:26:28.000 You don't want to get locked up in jail.
00:26:30.000 You don't want to get caught for something.
00:26:32.000 So I think, if I had a guess, that this guy didn't think he was going to kill this guy's wife and family.
00:26:38.000 He probably didn't even think he was going to kill this guy.
00:26:40.000 They probably got into a heated argument and they're stupid.
00:26:43.000 And he, you know, he's a guinea.
00:26:46.000 That's my people.
00:26:47.000 They do stupid, your people too.
00:26:48.000 They do stupid shit.
00:26:51.000 You know, they're fiery people.
00:26:52.000 And those fiery people, I swore off Italian girls when I was 21. I had an Italian girl take a swing at me when I was 21. I was like, that's it for me.
00:27:01.000 I'm done.
00:27:02.000 I'm like, I'm not hitting one back.
00:27:04.000 This is just too fucking kooky.
00:27:06.000 Some men and some women are fucking crazy.
00:27:09.000 And I believe in epigenetics.
00:27:11.000 And I see how wacky my fucking own kids are.
00:27:14.000 What's epigenetics?
00:27:16.000 Epigenetics...
00:27:16.000 Well, let's Google it so I don't bust up the actual definition.
00:27:21.000 But essentially, it's...
00:27:23.000 The way I'm using it is that there's certain traits that are not just environmental traits, they're inherited traits.
00:27:31.000 Here, we'll pull it up here.
00:27:32.000 The study of the changes in organisms caused by the modification of gene expression rather than the alteration of the genetic code itself.
00:27:40.000 There's better words than that.
00:27:43.000 There's better definitions than that.
00:27:47.000 The study of heritable changes in gene expression.
00:27:49.000 There you go.
00:27:50.000 Active versus inactive genes that do not involve changes to the underlying DNA sequence.
00:27:55.000 A change in the phenotype without a change in the genotype, which in turn affects how cells read the genes.
00:28:02.000 Oh great, now I know less about it.
00:28:04.000 Interesting.
00:28:06.000 I think there's traits, and this is a very...
00:28:12.000 This is a very controversial, yet very fascinating field of study, because what they're doing is they're finding out that children that are twins, that are separated by, you know, when they're babies, they go into different foster homes,
00:28:28.000 and they're raised by different families, have incredibly, remarkably similar Lives.
00:28:35.000 Characteristics, lives, loves, desires, like what they're interested in.
00:28:41.000 Incredibly similar.
00:28:42.000 And they're suspecting that a lot of the...
00:28:46.000 We are a combination of nature and nurture.
00:28:49.000 I think that's safe to say.
00:28:50.000 And I think that you certainly...
00:28:53.000 A lot of things happen to kids...
00:28:56.000 When they're young that shape their life, whether it's physical or sexual abuse, whether it's exposure to violence, or whether it's positive things like love and encouragement and inspiration.
00:29:07.000 But there's certain information, I think, that's transferred from the parent to the child while the child is in the womb.
00:29:15.000 And during the conception of the child, I think there's traits that come from the father and traits that come from the mother.
00:29:21.000 Biological.
00:29:22.000 Biologically.
00:29:23.000 This is undeniable across species, and I think this is why dogs...
00:29:26.000 Like, my dog has no fucking idea who his parents are.
00:29:30.000 He doesn't give a shit.
00:29:31.000 Right.
00:29:32.000 He's not looking for him.
00:29:33.000 He's not looking for him.
00:29:34.000 He's not on 23andme.com.
00:29:37.000 Exactly.
00:29:38.000 I grabbed that leash, and he's like, we running today, Derek?
00:29:41.000 And his...
00:29:42.000 What are you doing, Johnny?
00:29:43.000 It's so funny.
00:29:45.000 Have you watched it yet?
00:29:46.000 The Three Identical Strangers?
00:29:47.000 No, I haven't.
00:29:48.000 But it's about this exact very thing, right?
00:29:51.000 Yeah.
00:29:52.000 Did you watch it?
00:29:53.000 No, I've started to watch the trailers and stuff.
00:29:55.000 Was it good?
00:29:56.000 I've been waiting for it to come on Netflix.
00:29:58.000 Oh, it's on Netflix?
00:29:59.000 Yeah, your dog's not like, I wonder what my dad's doing now.
00:30:02.000 Yeah.
00:30:03.000 Why did he leave me?
00:30:04.000 Yeah.
00:30:05.000 Maybe we're going to have an awesome house together in the woods.
00:30:08.000 No, but he's got certain instincts.
00:30:10.000 Like, he lifts up his leg to piss on things.
00:30:12.000 Yeah.
00:30:12.000 You know, he smells things.
00:30:13.000 And he chases squirrels.
00:30:15.000 Like, there's things that are...
00:30:17.000 And he's a retriever, right?
00:30:18.000 He's a golden retriever.
00:30:19.000 So he brings things back.
00:30:20.000 I mean, I had pit bulls before.
00:30:22.000 And they'll bring things back.
00:30:24.000 But you've got to teach them.
00:30:25.000 Right.
00:30:25.000 They don't want to bring things back.
00:30:26.000 And they definitely don't want to let go.
00:30:28.000 Right.
00:30:28.000 What they want to do is play tug-of-war with shit.
00:30:30.000 But he lets things go.
00:30:31.000 And it's, like, natural for him.
00:30:32.000 That soft mouth.
00:30:33.000 Yes.
00:30:34.000 Yeah.
00:30:34.000 I have a black lab.
00:30:35.000 It does the same thing.
00:30:36.000 They hold things gently because they're used to retrieving ducks and pheasants that people shoot.
00:30:41.000 That's what they were raised for.
00:30:42.000 So he brings things back.
00:30:44.000 When I get him up in the morning, he stays in this little room, and when I get up in the morning at 7 to take my kids to school and all that stuff, when I open up the door, he whines like crazy.
00:30:54.000 He gets crazy, wags his tail.
00:30:56.000 Woo!
00:30:56.000 Woo!
00:30:57.000 So happy to see you!
00:30:58.000 But the first thing he does is pick up a toy.
00:31:00.000 Yeah.
00:31:00.000 The first thing he picks up a stuffed animal and comes to me with the stuffed animal in his mouth.
00:31:04.000 Like, this is not something that we taught him.
00:31:06.000 Yeah.
00:31:06.000 But this is something that...
00:31:07.000 And golden retrievers all around the world doing the same exact thing.
00:31:11.000 Yep.
00:31:11.000 All around the world.
00:31:12.000 All around the world.
00:31:12.000 The same exact thing.
00:31:13.000 There's certain traits that they've...
00:31:15.000 And I believe that Italians...
00:31:18.000 My people.
00:31:19.000 Yeah.
00:31:19.000 My people.
00:31:20.000 I'm not saying this about...
00:31:21.000 Mine too.
00:31:21.000 Yeah.
00:31:22.000 And yours too.
00:31:22.000 I'm mostly Italian.
00:31:24.000 They're savage folk.
00:31:25.000 Yeah.
00:31:26.000 This is just a fact, man.
00:31:27.000 Just a fact.
00:31:28.000 There's a streak.
00:31:30.000 There's a streak.
00:31:30.000 It goes back to the Romans.
00:31:32.000 That's what I really absolutely 100% believe.
00:31:35.000 And that I think there are certain civilizations that have a longer history of being civilized and less violence.
00:31:41.000 And I think when you are dealing with folks that have...
00:31:47.000 And a real history of violence in their culture, and that this translates generation to generation and transfers down to the children.
00:31:57.000 Right.
00:31:58.000 And I think this guy is part of that.
00:32:00.000 I mean, it's not a coincidence that the Italian mob is so ruthlessly brutal, or the Russian mob is so ruthlessly brutal.
00:32:08.000 Excuse me.
00:32:10.000 Yeah.
00:32:14.000 Yeah.
00:32:21.000 Yeah.
00:32:33.000 Didn't have that in his to-do list.
00:32:35.000 But not necessarily, because I don't know if they planned it out, or if he did it just because, I mean, he had a knife on him and a gun.
00:32:42.000 Maybe he was one of those crazy assholes that brought a knife and a gun everywhere.
00:32:44.000 Who the fuck knows?
00:32:45.000 Yeah, who knows?
00:32:46.000 But they were in business together.
00:32:48.000 And, you know, people in business together, they get crazy, and they get real resentful, and, you know, they think one person's not doing their fair share, or one person fucks up a deal, or one person's costing them money, and ugh.
00:32:59.000 Yeah, now who knows?
00:33:00.000 But how the fuck do you kill each other?
00:33:03.000 How do you stab a baby, man?
00:33:05.000 How do you stab an 8-year-old daughter?
00:33:06.000 Well, you take it in your hand.
00:33:08.000 Yeah, I have no idea.
00:33:09.000 But the Italians also like wine.
00:33:11.000 More wine, please.
00:33:12.000 Oh, someone's drunk.
00:33:14.000 I'll have to give you one of these 0% alcohol Heineken.
00:33:17.000 These are supposed to be the most delicious.
00:33:19.000 I've never had it.
00:33:21.000 I'm going to try one of these.
00:33:21.000 They're supposed to be the most delicious non-alcoholic beer.
00:33:26.000 Non-alcoholic beer.
00:33:27.000 Everybody was recommended.
00:33:27.000 They said that if you want to try a non-alcoholic beer that doesn't suck, get this Heineken 00. Heineken 00. Cheers.
00:33:36.000 It's supposed to be the shit.
00:33:42.000 Tastes like Heineken.
00:33:43.000 It does.
00:33:44.000 There's literally no difference.
00:33:46.000 Pretty damn good.
00:33:47.000 For non-alcoholic beer, it doesn't have that weird, I'm lying to myself, funk to it.
00:33:53.000 Yeah, it doesn't have that weird aftertaste.
00:33:55.000 If I was a junkie, I would not want to try opiate-free heroin.
00:34:01.000 Yeah, it tastes just like it.
00:34:05.000 It just doesn't seem like it'd be a smart move, but alcoholics will drink non-alcoholic beer.
00:34:12.000 Walk into a liquor store, buy this non-alcoholic beer, talk to the guy behind the counter.
00:34:17.000 You're demons.
00:34:17.000 You're literally at the gate of hell.
00:34:18.000 And the fucking demons are reaching out.
00:34:21.000 Ah!
00:34:23.000 And you're like, no, no, no, thank you.
00:34:25.000 I just have this zero, zero.
00:34:28.000 Let me just test myself.
00:34:30.000 Do you think people who are clean are cool with taking CBD? Like, is that...
00:34:33.000 It's a good question.
00:34:34.000 Well, the marijuana thing is different because I think for the vast majority of human beings, obviously there's a lot of biological diversity, but for the vast majority of human beings, I do not think that marijuana is physically addictive.
00:34:46.000 I think it's entirely possible that for some people it is.
00:34:50.000 But I think for the vast majority of people it is not physically addictive.
00:34:53.000 It's more psychologically addictive.
00:34:55.000 So I think it's a different thing.
00:34:56.000 So if they're taking CBD... I mean, it depends on how they're taking it.
00:35:00.000 If they're rolling up a CBD joint...
00:35:02.000 You can take damn hits of CBD, which is a little extra.
00:35:06.000 Do they do that?
00:35:06.000 Really?
00:35:07.000 For sure.
00:35:08.000 But doesn't some CBD have a little bit of THC? That's where I was going to go with that.
00:35:12.000 Some of it.
00:35:13.000 Well, this shit has the tiniest amount of alcohol.
00:35:17.000 It says alcohol-free.
00:35:19.000 But I think it's like...
00:35:20.000 What are the calories?
00:35:21.000 00.04...
00:35:25.000 Alcohol-free beer with natural flavoring.
00:35:27.000 Do you know Heineken is one of the few beers that you can drink if you are a celiac?
00:35:32.000 It does not have wheat.
00:35:34.000 It's not a wheat-based beer.
00:35:35.000 So if you're gluten-free, you can drink Heineken.
00:35:39.000 Maybe not if you're a celiac, but definitely if you're gluten-free.
00:35:43.000 That's not bad.
00:35:44.000 Yeah, I like it.
00:35:45.000 That's not bad at all.
00:35:46.000 It's not bad.
00:35:47.000 Half the calories of standard.
00:35:49.000 Half the calories of a standard beer.
00:35:50.000 So those other calories are just pure alcohol.
00:35:54.000 I guess so.
00:35:54.000 Yeah.
00:35:55.000 Right.
00:35:55.000 I wonder if it's like a...
00:35:57.000 You know, there's one episode of the Opie and Anthony show.
00:36:03.000 Now that I remember this...
00:36:05.000 Oh my god, I forgot about this.
00:36:07.000 We gave this gal...
00:36:09.000 They had this...
00:36:11.000 I think her name was Stalker Patty.
00:36:13.000 I think that was her name.
00:36:14.000 Oh yeah, I remember that.
00:36:14.000 We gave this crazy...
00:36:15.000 You know how radio shows have these regulars?
00:36:18.000 Yeah.
00:36:19.000 They're always coming to the studio.
00:36:20.000 Yeah.
00:36:21.000 Well, they gave this one gal a breath strip, like a standard Listerine breath strip.
00:36:27.000 And this is back in the day when I used to get pot breath strips that would, they would fuck you up so hard.
00:36:37.000 I remember I gave a half of one to Tom Segura and we flew to Florida to do gigs together.
00:36:41.000 And by the time we landed, he's like, dude, I want to tell you something.
00:36:43.000 I almost didn't make it.
00:36:46.000 I was almost telling these people to turn this flight around.
00:36:49.000 He started freaking out.
00:36:50.000 He was freaking out!
00:36:51.000 Half of a breast strip would put you in an alternative dimension.
00:36:55.000 It was so strong.
00:36:57.000 So, we gave this gal a regular breast strip.
00:37:01.000 There's a video of it online.
00:37:02.000 Oh, it's like an hour long.
00:37:04.000 Yeah, yeah, don't.
00:37:05.000 That had no...
00:37:06.000 Yeah.
00:37:07.000 Had no weed in it?
00:37:08.000 So Ari gave her this breath strip, and then Ari proceeded to talk to her, and she was talking about how high she was, and she's so fucked up, she couldn't go anywhere.
00:37:19.000 But we all knew that she was sober.
00:37:21.000 That's funny.
00:37:23.000 When you're a person who's a whack packer, there's a high chance there's an issue that's not being resolved.
00:37:30.000 Yes.
00:37:31.000 Which makes it hard to listen to, frankly.
00:37:34.000 This is not a...
00:37:36.000 An actualized human being.
00:37:38.000 That would be the term.
00:37:38.000 This is not an actualized human being.
00:37:40.000 This is not someone who's got their shit together.
00:37:42.000 They're reading self-help books and fucking getting up at five and doing yoga.
00:37:46.000 No.
00:37:46.000 No.
00:37:47.000 They're just trying to get through the day.
00:37:49.000 They're barely getting through.
00:37:50.000 And they found this thing that they cling to.
00:37:53.000 Yeah.
00:37:55.000 Those characteristics are fascinating to me because you find them in other things.
00:38:00.000 What do you mean?
00:38:00.000 Those characteristics of these people that find something to belong to and then they become a thing, they become a part of that thing.
00:38:07.000 You would find those people at pool halls, you find those people at martial arts places, you find those people that hang out at comedy clubs.
00:38:15.000 It's like they're a little off, but they find a thing that becomes the thing that they do all the time.
00:38:21.000 Even if they're not like the comedian, they'll hang out at the comedy salon.
00:38:25.000 Yes.
00:38:25.000 Right, right.
00:38:26.000 We know those folks, right?
00:38:27.000 Yeah, for sure.
00:38:27.000 And I totally get it.
00:38:29.000 I mean, that's community.
00:38:30.000 I just want to belong somewhere.
00:38:32.000 We all want that thing.
00:38:33.000 That's where I go, and I know those faces, and they know me, and maybe I'm not totally a part of it, but I can go to the pool hall and feel like I was wanted on my home.
00:38:44.000 The pool hall was a perfect place for that because it was a hangout.
00:38:48.000 A lot of people weren't playing.
00:38:51.000 So if you had three or four tables going, so three or four tables would be six or eight people playing pool, but there might also be five or six people just hanging out, maybe playing cards, maybe just buying coffee and maybe ordering a sandwich or something like that and just sitting there eating.
00:39:08.000 It's important.
00:39:09.000 I was reading a whole article about that by David Brooks the other day.
00:39:13.000 And he was saying that economically we're richer than we've ever been as a country.
00:39:19.000 And even in the last couple of years, poor people, everyone's standard of living has gone up.
00:39:26.000 Which I wasn't really clear on.
00:39:27.000 I thought that only the rich people were getting richer.
00:39:32.000 But everybody was kind of being lifted up, but we're unhappier than ever before.
00:39:36.000 And the life expectancy is lower than ever before, and we're killing ourselves at rates that are higher than ever before.
00:39:42.000 And he was saying that it's that lack of community, that we don't go to church anymore.
00:39:47.000 We don't belong to those things that gave us meaning every day in our town.
00:39:53.000 And you used to go to church, and you'd go to the...
00:39:56.000 You need that sense of belonging.
00:39:58.000 And work is a big part of it.
00:40:01.000 And people now are in this gig economy and they're working Uber, they're working Seamless, they're doing different things, they're isolated, they're by themselves, they're not working with other people.
00:40:10.000 And he really believes that it's that lack of community and that lack of institutions is why we're very, very unhappy as a country right now.
00:40:20.000 It makes sense to me.
00:40:21.000 It makes sense to me as a person who's a part of a vital community, as a comedian.
00:40:28.000 Jeff Ross was here the other day with Dave Attell, and one of the things that he said that really struck with me, he said, I almost feel like I'm a comedian more than I'm an American.
00:40:35.000 I'm like a comedian first, I'm an American second.
00:40:38.000 I was like, yeah.
00:40:40.000 If you're at the airport and you run into Dave Attell or whoever it is, there's a light upon them that comes down from heaven.
00:40:50.000 Exactly.
00:40:51.000 It's like, one of mine.
00:40:52.000 Hey!
00:40:53.000 Yeah, you just embrace them.
00:40:55.000 That's why I always get suspicious of comics who didn't embrace me.
00:40:59.000 As soon as you said, I was like, there's something more weird with this guy.
00:41:03.000 Something like Or comics that don't have any comic friends.
00:41:07.000 Yeah, very weird.
00:41:08.000 There's a few of those.
00:41:08.000 They're fucking real strange, and they're always super selfish.
00:41:12.000 Yeah, I can't even figure out exactly what it is, but I know that's not one of the good ones.
00:41:17.000 Yeah, especially if someone's a successful comedian.
00:41:19.000 That's why it's really weird.
00:41:20.000 You have the opportunity to hang out with some of the most fun people in the world, and you're a peer of theirs.
00:41:25.000 And you give them a pass.
00:41:26.000 It's like family.
00:41:28.000 I did this gig in Colorado once, and just by...
00:41:32.000 Chance, it was like this corporate thing, and there was another comic on the bill, who I won't mention.
00:41:36.000 And I was like, oh, that's cool.
00:41:37.000 We're in the middle of, like, nowhere.
00:41:39.000 And at least there's another comedian here.
00:41:42.000 Yeah.
00:41:42.000 He did a set, split, didn't talk to me.
00:41:45.000 Just, like, there was no...
00:41:46.000 I was like your dog, like, hey, let's play, let's play.
00:41:51.000 And he just...
00:41:52.000 Split!
00:41:53.000 I was like, alright, that guy's weird.
00:41:54.000 That guy's something, and it's true.
00:41:57.000 I think it's less common now than it was back in the day, and this is another thing that I talked about with Jeff and Dave, is we were talking about camaraderie, that there's less competition now than there ever was before.
00:42:11.000 Because before, there was only a limited number of Tonight Show slots, there was a limited number of sitcoms that you could be on, and that's what everybody wanted.
00:42:19.000 Everybody wanted their own sitcom, and everybody wanted to be on The Tonight Show.
00:42:22.000 And there were very few of those.
00:42:23.000 Very few.
00:42:24.000 And everybody was competing for these very limited slots, and there were very few HBO specials.
00:42:29.000 There wasn't a lot, and there was a lot of us.
00:42:32.000 And so it led to a lot of jealousy, a lot of clawing and scratching.
00:42:37.000 And now, thanks to many things, thanks to the internet, thanks to YouTube initially, then podcast, and then Netflix, it seems like the world is our oyster.
00:42:46.000 There's so much.
00:42:47.000 All you have to do is put out good content.
00:42:49.000 Totally.
00:42:50.000 And you could have your own audience, and he could have his own audience, and she could have hers, and all exist without having to poach each other's audiences.
00:42:58.000 Yeah, and I promote, like in the beginning of, if you're listening to this on YouTube, it's not on it because it's something that I do in the beginning of the audio version of it, but I'm always talking about people's specials that are out.
00:43:11.000 Like now, the Bumping Mike special with Dave and Jeff Ross is out now.
00:43:16.000 They're not paying me to say that.
00:43:17.000 Netflix is not paying me to say that.
00:43:19.000 The Jerry Diaz special or the Christina Pazitsky special.
00:43:22.000 They're not paying me to say that.
00:43:23.000 I'm saying that because these people are all my friends, and I want them to prosper.
00:43:26.000 I want everything new.
00:43:28.000 I think they're great, and I want everybody to know that this is great stuff.
00:43:32.000 And if you're a fan of comedy, I want to help you.
00:43:35.000 It's like, I want to be that guy at the wine store going, hey, because you want to see an $18 bottle of wine that'll knock your dick into the dirt?
00:43:41.000 It's Joey Diaz.
00:43:42.000 Right, right.
00:43:45.000 Nobody knows about it, but you're going to love it.
00:43:48.000 Well, more people know about Joey now than ever before, but not enough.
00:43:52.000 Yeah, no, I know.
00:43:53.000 He's the best ever.
00:43:54.000 I've never seen anybody that makes me laugh harder.
00:43:57.000 I don't know if I enjoy him as much as I enjoy how much you enjoy him.
00:44:05.000 It really is such a great thing.
00:44:08.000 Just watching you guys, when he's going off and you're laughing at him, it's just, it's like, I could watch that all day.
00:44:13.000 I feel so thankful.
00:44:16.000 He's so real.
00:44:18.000 He's such a, I mean, he's just one of those people that you just...
00:44:20.000 He's so real.
00:44:21.000 Especially if I have a buzz.
00:44:22.000 I've had a couple of drinks, I smoke a little weed, and I watch Joey.
00:44:26.000 I'm so thankful.
00:44:27.000 I'm just like so thankful there's a guy like that out there.
00:44:29.000 In my opinion, he's the leader of the charge.
00:44:32.000 Because he's the most reckless and wild, and even more so now.
00:44:37.000 Now that he did that Netflix special, oh my god, go see him, people.
00:44:41.000 He is a fucking monster right now.
00:44:44.000 He's peaking.
00:44:46.000 He's better than he was before, and he was the best before.
00:44:49.000 No.
00:44:49.000 It's such a great thing.
00:44:50.000 Like when you go to any club and you come in and you just see whatever random people are there.
00:44:56.000 You know, my wife was a comedian before we had kids.
00:45:00.000 And the first thing she wants to ask, she asks when I come back is, who was there?
00:45:04.000 Who did you see?
00:45:05.000 And it's like, oh, I saw Steve Byrne.
00:45:07.000 I saw the whatever.
00:45:08.000 And she's like, oh, she wants, because she doesn't, she's not part of the community.
00:45:11.000 Like she is, but she doesn't get to visit.
00:45:13.000 So it's like she misses that sense.
00:45:15.000 And we're very lucky to have that.
00:45:17.000 Yeah.
00:45:17.000 As grown men to be able to walk into this very fun community that you're a part of.
00:45:22.000 Yeah, man.
00:45:23.000 It gives you meaning.
00:45:23.000 It gives you a sense of belonging.
00:45:26.000 And that's what a lot of people don't have nowadays.
00:45:30.000 According to David Brooks, that's the reason for everybody's malaise.
00:45:34.000 Yeah.
00:45:34.000 I think there's certainly something to that.
00:45:36.000 I think it's weird living in places where you don't know your neighbors, you know?
00:45:40.000 I mean, that's fucking weird.
00:45:41.000 I mean, Norton was telling me that he lives in this big apartment building in New York City.
00:45:46.000 And I think he said, I mean, there's got to be hundreds of people living in that building.
00:45:51.000 It's a huge, huge building.
00:45:52.000 Yeah, I know where he is.
00:45:53.000 He doesn't know anybody.
00:45:54.000 Weird.
00:45:55.000 He doesn't know anybody.
00:45:56.000 He says he tries to say hi to his neighbor.
00:45:57.000 They look at him like he's a fucking murderer.
00:45:59.000 Yeah.
00:46:01.000 Nobody's friendly to anybody.
00:46:03.000 Yeah.
00:46:03.000 It's so weird.
00:46:04.000 They're like, you're too loud.
00:46:06.000 Stop making noise.
00:46:07.000 That's what everybody does to people.
00:46:08.000 Banging the door, banging the floor, banging the roof.
00:46:10.000 Just conflict.
00:46:11.000 Yeah.
00:46:12.000 It's a weird thing.
00:46:13.000 And it's weird, you know, my youngest wants to go to church.
00:46:18.000 How old?
00:46:19.000 13. Because friends?
00:46:23.000 What is it?
00:46:24.000 Maybe.
00:46:24.000 She has more of a sensitivity and she knows there's something spiritual going on.
00:46:31.000 Ginger mushrooms.
00:46:34.000 I think that might have been what kicked the whole thing off.
00:46:38.000 And she's searching a little bit.
00:46:42.000 And she wants that.
00:46:43.000 She likes being able to sit someplace and...
00:46:46.000 And we go, and it's not like when I was a kid.
00:46:49.000 When I was a kid and we were Catholic, the place was packed.
00:46:53.000 You couldn't find parking.
00:46:55.000 It was a big deal.
00:46:57.000 My father would be like, we're going early.
00:46:59.000 Come on, get out of the house!
00:47:00.000 We gotta get a spot!
00:47:01.000 I'm not walking from the back!
00:47:03.000 And it was like a big thing.
00:47:05.000 Now it's like you kind of roll up, it's half full, and there's nobody there.
00:47:08.000 And it's, you know, of course, the Catholic Church has a lot of problems.
00:47:13.000 You think?
00:47:14.000 What do you mean by problems?
00:47:16.000 But all these religions have had a little kerfuffles.
00:47:19.000 No, they haven't.
00:47:20.000 No, they haven't.
00:47:21.000 Not like the Catholic Church.
00:47:23.000 No, the Catholic Church is the worst.
00:47:24.000 It's the worst.
00:47:26.000 I know, but don't let me get sidetracked.
00:47:28.000 Okay, I'm sorry.
00:47:29.000 The thing is we know so much now and we're able to see that all these institutions are flawed, that there's problems with all of them.
00:47:36.000 People used to think – my grandmother just thought church is the best and this is the best and they didn't ask questions.
00:47:42.000 Now we know everything and we know that all these institutions are flawed and I think we're making the mistake that you can't be a part of a political party, you can't be a part of a community, you can't be a part of a thing if it's not perfect.
00:47:54.000 But that's not a way to live.
00:47:56.000 You gotta kind of be a little ignorant if you're gonna show up.
00:47:59.000 You gotta kind of, not be ignorant, but allow things to be flawed.
00:48:03.000 Or start a new one.
00:48:05.000 Go on.
00:48:06.000 Yeah.
00:48:07.000 I mean, the right way to address the issues of a flawed institution, and not just to accept them, but to try to create a new institution that doesn't have as many flaws.
00:48:17.000 I mean, that's not what we did, but what our founding fathers did when they established the United States of America.
00:48:23.000 The idea was to establish a place where you have an experiment in self-government.
00:48:29.000 And that's never existed before in the world.
00:48:31.000 And this is what the United States represents to the rest of the world outside of us.
00:48:35.000 Yeah.
00:48:35.000 I mean, this is what we...
00:48:37.000 Again, I keep saying we.
00:48:39.000 It's not we.
00:48:39.000 But what the people that established the United States did was they broke the mold as to how a world superpower or a country...
00:48:49.000 It wasn't a superpower at the time.
00:48:50.000 Could exist.
00:48:51.000 But how a country could exist.
00:48:52.000 And then that country...
00:48:53.000 I mean, I don't think it's a coincidence...
00:48:55.000 That out of just a couple hundred years, that country emerged as the greatest superpower the world's ever known.
00:48:59.000 I think that freedom allows unprecedented activity in terms of innovation, in terms of creativity, and not being suppressed, and not being in total fear for your life for any form of dissent.
00:49:13.000 And this goes back to not just religion, but Any group that's in control of any sort of a situation, as soon as you suppress all the other people,
00:49:28.000 you limit their ability to contribute.
00:49:31.000 Right, right.
00:49:33.000 This is what has existed all throughout Europe and what existed all throughout Asia, all throughout the rest of the world when the United States came along.
00:49:40.000 And then when the United States came along, all of a sudden you have this unprecedented development and growth in this one place where people are allowed to be free, where we support free expression, where we support freedom of speech, freedom of religion, and we separate.
00:49:57.000 Church and state.
00:49:58.000 And this is one of the reasons why these things are so important.
00:50:00.000 So when you get like religious fundamentalist wackos that say, this country was founded on Christian values.
00:50:05.000 That doesn't matter.
00:50:06.000 It doesn't matter.
00:50:07.000 If you're a peaceful Muslim, if you're a peaceful Buddhist, if you're a peaceful Mormon, whatever the fuck it is, we should all embrace each other.
00:50:15.000 We should allow each other 100% freedom.
00:50:17.000 And as soon as someone starts restricting that freedom and restricting people's ability to express themselves, you run into real problems because then you don't let these things play out in their natural order.
00:50:27.000 You don't let ideas play out where people get to examine those ideas.
00:50:32.000 Yeah.
00:50:33.000 Look, if you look at some of the more suppressive areas of the Middle East, the real problem is that these people live, not just, there's many real problems, but one of the real problems is these people live in fear.
00:50:42.000 So there's no real freedom of expression.
00:50:45.000 And there's also this real desire for conformity.
00:50:49.000 This real desire to establish that you are a part of the group that is one of the good ones that's going to abide by the rules and you are going to show everyone else that you are a part of this group, whether it means throwing gay people off buildings or throwing rocks at women that have been adulterers,
00:51:06.000 all that stuff.
00:51:07.000 I was just going to say, like, your life actually depends on you conforming.
00:51:10.000 Yes.
00:51:10.000 I was with my friend the other day who's gay, and he was saying that he can't...
00:51:14.000 You have a gay friend?
00:51:15.000 Just one.
00:51:15.000 Stop the show.
00:51:16.000 Just one.
00:51:16.000 Just come on, fellas.
00:51:17.000 Come on, fellas.
00:51:18.000 Shut it up.
00:51:19.000 And it really...
00:51:21.000 How close?
00:51:22.000 He's close.
00:51:23.000 Comes over your house?
00:51:23.000 So close.
00:51:25.000 Whoa.
00:51:26.000 I didn't realize...
00:51:27.000 He can't go to half of the planet as an open gay man.
00:51:31.000 Oh, yeah.
00:51:32.000 He can't go to Russia.
00:51:33.000 He can't go to all of the Middle East.
00:51:34.000 There's parts of Asia...
00:51:35.000 Like, they will kill you if you're gay in those areas.
00:51:39.000 I mean, talk about...
00:51:40.000 I mean...
00:51:42.000 What's going to make a city flourish than gay people coming in with bold ideas and let's go?
00:51:49.000 I mean, I saw them change parts of New York like it was nobody's business.
00:51:52.000 Well, and also I think that what's great about gay folks is when gay folks are embraced and they're allowed to be themselves.
00:51:59.000 Oh, my God.
00:52:00.000 And then they can express that.
00:52:01.000 And then you get to see that, like...
00:52:03.000 There's such a giant spectrum of the way people behave and think and the things that they love.
00:52:09.000 And if you don't allow people to express their position on that spectrum, then you don't even know it exists.
00:52:14.000 Then you create all sorts of deviants because you're forcing them into some unnatural pattern, which is one of the things that I think about the Catholic Church.
00:52:23.000 I think part of the problem is that these people are suppressed sexually, like incredibly suppressed, not just suppressed in terms of Whether they're homosexual or heterosexual.
00:52:33.000 But there's no sex.
00:52:34.000 You're not allowed to have any sex.
00:52:35.000 Right.
00:52:36.000 Yeah.
00:52:36.000 So how's it gonna come out?
00:52:38.000 It's fucking insane.
00:52:39.000 It's like being in denial of the fact that you need to drink water.
00:52:43.000 And it's so upsetting because I'm really kind of searching a little bit because I was raised Catholic.
00:52:49.000 And I did like going.
00:52:51.000 I have what she has.
00:52:52.000 I did like going and sitting in the pew on Sunday.
00:52:55.000 It was different from the other days.
00:52:57.000 And I got to hear people talk about being nice to each other.
00:53:00.000 And I got to see the people from my town who you saw running around, but now they're just sitting there quietly and praying.
00:53:06.000 There was goodness to it.
00:53:08.000 And they went out and fed the homeless.
00:53:09.000 There was good stuff that came from it.
00:53:12.000 And she wants that.
00:53:13.000 I get that.
00:53:14.000 And now you're sitting in an institution, though, and you know the backstory of what's going on.
00:53:20.000 It's, you know, how do you sit there?
00:53:22.000 How do you sit there?
00:53:25.000 I said to her last night, maybe we should just go to yoga.
00:53:30.000 Satisfy your spiritual side.
00:53:32.000 Right.
00:53:32.000 But then they're wacky too, man.
00:53:34.000 I know.
00:53:35.000 Look, I go to Bikram yoga.
00:53:38.000 I go to hot yoga.
00:53:39.000 The 90-minute hot yoga.
00:53:40.000 And that guy, I don't think he's allowed to come in this country.
00:53:43.000 No, he's not.
00:53:44.000 Isn't that the deal?
00:53:45.000 The guy who made Bikram, no.
00:53:46.000 No, that guy...
00:53:47.000 I do not think he's a...
00:53:48.000 See, find out if that's the case.
00:53:50.000 He got a little rapey.
00:53:52.000 Well, he definitely got a little...
00:53:56.000 He took advantage of his privilege, his position.
00:54:01.000 His power.
00:54:02.000 Well, yeah, I guess you could say power, but the reverence that people had towards him.
00:54:07.000 Yeah.
00:54:07.000 They felt like he was a guru, and so he would get these girls alone, and he would make them suck his dick or whatever.
00:54:12.000 Right.
00:54:14.000 See, now this, I'm getting, this is very dangerous waters.
00:54:19.000 But I was having a conversation with a woman who is a, she's actually an instructor.
00:54:25.000 And she said, listen, that guy is definitely creepy.
00:54:29.000 But let me tell you something.
00:54:31.000 A lot of those girls not only knew what he was about, but they wanted to be with him.
00:54:37.000 They wanted to be with him because of his power and because he represented something special to them.
00:54:42.000 And then when he just shot a load in their mouth and then kicked them to the curb, then they became angry and decided they were molested.
00:54:49.000 They went into it willingly.
00:54:51.000 I do not know if she's accurate or inaccurate.
00:54:54.000 I was not there and I'm not a woman.
00:54:56.000 But I do know that people have...
00:54:59.000 I remember...
00:55:04.000 Mm-hmm.
00:55:06.000 Mm-hmm.
00:55:25.000 And I think that's also what happens with these yoga people.
00:55:28.000 Yeah, it's seductive.
00:55:30.000 Yes!
00:55:30.000 You know, it's seductive.
00:55:32.000 And also, with something like that, it's very physical and mental and spiritual.
00:55:37.000 It's sexual.
00:55:38.000 It's sexual.
00:55:39.000 Like, yoga is, look, I've never had any sex with anybody in my yoga class, but I'm telling you, when everybody's in there sweating and everyone's almost naked, I'm wearing these little fucking shorts and these girls are wearing these little shorts.
00:55:52.000 And the teacher goes around and she calls you out.
00:55:54.000 It's like, oh, she likes me?
00:55:56.000 Yes.
00:55:56.000 I can understand how some of those people get intimate with each other after this is all over because they're so close to being naked and sweating together.
00:56:05.000 Right.
00:56:05.000 And your friend is right in that there were some women, I'm sure, who wanted to be with him.
00:56:11.000 Yes.
00:56:12.000 My friend was not dismissing any rape But it's his responsibility because he has the power and knows what he's wielding, like in a workplace kind of thing.
00:56:20.000 It's up to you to be the one who puts the brakes on it.
00:56:23.000 That's where it gets interesting because he does not seem to think that he does have any responsibility at all for the people that are working for him, teaching these classes.
00:56:32.000 He did this HBO documentary.
00:56:35.000 They did this HBO interview about him.
00:56:38.000 It was so ridiculous.
00:56:39.000 This is the Bikram guy?
00:56:40.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:56:41.000 He goes, there are women that will pay one million dollars for one drop of my sperm.
00:56:47.000 He says this.
00:56:48.000 See if you can find the video.
00:56:50.000 So he's fully aware.
00:56:51.000 He's fucking crazy.
00:56:53.000 He's fully aware of his power.
00:56:55.000 He's crazy.
00:56:55.000 Yeah.
00:56:56.000 He was dismissing the idea that he would ever sexually assault anyone.
00:57:03.000 He's like, why would I do that when these women that will pay one million dollars for one drop of my sperm?
00:57:10.000 Well, it wasn't that one.
00:57:13.000 It wasn't.
00:57:14.000 Yeah.
00:57:15.000 It wasn't...
00:57:16.000 Brian Gumbel wasn't there.
00:57:18.000 I think they're discussing it.
00:57:20.000 Right.
00:57:20.000 They're discussing the sperm comment.
00:57:22.000 You're going to see the guy, because he looks like a...
00:57:24.000 Because he said the comment to a woman, and she was like this.
00:57:29.000 She was like, what in the fuck did you say?
00:57:32.000 You know, like, HBO's Andrea Kremer breaks down million-dollar sperm interview.
00:57:41.000 Million-dollar sperm interview.
00:57:43.000 What?
00:57:45.000 There's some shit that you say.
00:57:46.000 There's some shit that you say where people go, wait, what the fuck did you say?
00:57:51.000 Holy shit.
00:57:53.000 Yeah, there's some things that you would call beyond the pale.
00:57:57.000 Yeah.
00:57:58.000 I love just seeing pictures.
00:58:00.000 You hear these stories, then you see them.
00:58:02.000 He's like, you're like grandpa.
00:58:04.000 He's like all loose skinned and he's balding.
00:58:08.000 But that's the thing.
00:58:09.000 It's like when you're in a powerful position like that, He's very spiritual.
00:58:15.000 And people will pay one million dollars.
00:58:18.000 What does it say?
00:58:20.000 From being circumspect in RealSport, the 70-year-old went off on a rant claiming 5,000 women a day want to sleep with him.
00:58:28.000 Four have committed suicide over his charms, and people would pay one million dollars for a drop of his sperm.
00:58:37.000 Can you imagine if you lived in that world?
00:58:39.000 I would just shoot loads every day and then retire.
00:58:41.000 If you just drank, ate a lot of zinc, a lot of zinc, and like, what makes loads?
00:58:48.000 Oysters?
00:58:49.000 Celery.
00:58:50.000 Yeah, is that really?
00:58:51.000 Yeah, celery.
00:58:52.000 That's vegan nonsense and propaganda.
00:58:54.000 Celery adds to the pop.
00:58:57.000 Who tells you that?
00:58:58.000 The celery people.
00:59:00.000 That's like some fucking celery lobby.
00:59:03.000 No, it's true.
00:59:04.000 Celery does.
00:59:05.000 How do you know?
00:59:06.000 I read something.
00:59:07.000 Porn people, right?
00:59:09.000 Celery?
00:59:09.000 Yeah, celery.
00:59:10.000 You know.
00:59:12.000 What's Jamie got here?
00:59:13.000 Oh, here he is.
00:59:14.000 I can make a line.
00:59:15.000 The most beautiful, famous, rich women in the world, if I have to sleep with women, then I have to sleep, you know, 5,000 girls every day.
00:59:24.000 5,000 women a day want to sleep with you?
00:59:26.000 Yeah.
00:59:28.000 They commit suicide.
00:59:29.000 Four of them.
00:59:30.000 You're saying that four different women?
00:59:33.000 Four different women.
00:59:34.000 Each killed themselves because you wouldn't have sex with them.
00:59:36.000 All right.
00:59:37.000 Why I have to harass women?
00:59:40.000 People pay one million dollars for one drop of my sperm.
00:59:44.000 I can make million dollars a day, every drop.
00:59:49.000 You are that idiot or dumb to believe those trash.
00:59:54.000 The women are the trash?
00:59:55.000 Yeah.
00:59:56.000 I pick them from trash and give them life.
01:00:00.000 Oh my god.
01:00:02.000 70 years old.
01:00:03.000 He looks pretty good for a 70 year old dude.
01:00:07.000 That's from selling all that loads.
01:00:10.000 Oh my god.
01:00:11.000 That one's no good.
01:00:12.000 It won't last very long.
01:00:13.000 They get gross.
01:00:14.000 They get it dry up real quick.
01:00:15.000 Yeah, they get gross.
01:00:17.000 Oh man, oh man.
01:00:19.000 Yeah, so that spiritual thing, like the whole...
01:00:22.000 But that's, yeah.
01:00:23.000 Yeah, it's like...
01:00:25.000 The problem with it is you're still an animal, right?
01:00:30.000 It's like we were talking about before where the wolves go on these surplus kills and they kill all these elk and they don't eat them.
01:00:36.000 In Wyoming there was a recent issue.
01:00:38.000 There was 18 elk that were killed by wolves in these surplus killings.
01:00:42.000 It was a real tragedy.
01:00:44.000 These wolves can't help themselves.
01:00:45.000 It's just their instincts.
01:00:46.000 So his instincts as a man, he has instincts to procreate, right?
01:00:51.000 He has instincts to respond to women that are sexually attracted to him.
01:00:55.000 And he teaches these classes in front of hundreds and thousands of people and everybody loves and adores him.
01:01:01.000 So in his fucked up, twisted brain, everything that he said there made sense.
01:01:05.000 My favorite part of it was that woman, Andrea, when she clarified, so you're saying that...
01:01:13.000 Four women have committed to it.
01:01:14.000 This motherfucker has to be clear on this nonsense.
01:01:18.000 There he is.
01:01:19.000 She doesn't even change her expression.
01:01:21.000 She's just like, so you're saying.
01:01:22.000 Yeah, I mean, look at that girl right now.
01:01:25.000 He's standing on top of a woman's hips as she's bent over backwards.
01:01:29.000 That girl is like, he wants me.
01:01:32.000 He's standing over me.
01:01:33.000 By the way, I've taken a lot of yoga classes.
01:01:35.000 Nobody ever stood on my hips.
01:01:36.000 No.
01:01:37.000 No way.
01:01:37.000 They're like, hey, bro.
01:01:38.000 But I do like it when you're doing yoga and they come over and they push your legs down.
01:01:42.000 Yeah, well, assisted stretching.
01:01:44.000 Oh shit, I just spilled.
01:01:46.000 I spilled Jamie.
01:01:47.000 Leave it there, bro.
01:01:48.000 Let it sink in.
01:01:49.000 It's good for the patina.
01:01:52.000 I'm learning those terms.
01:01:54.000 The patina.
01:01:57.000 So when you're in the church...
01:01:58.000 The church of yoga?
01:02:00.000 Home.
01:02:01.000 Or real church.
01:02:02.000 And you're abusing your power.
01:02:04.000 That's a different animal because you're abusing it with children.
01:02:08.000 Yeah, it's so bad.
01:02:09.000 It's a totally different animal.
01:02:10.000 You know, when you're taking six-year-olds and abusing them, it's a different animal.
01:02:13.000 Yeah.
01:02:14.000 You know what I mean?
01:02:14.000 It's like, there's levels to this shit, right?
01:02:16.000 Like, the guy killing his brother is horrific to me.
01:02:19.000 The guy killing his brother's wife, more horrific.
01:02:21.000 The guy killing his brother's wife, and then kids?
01:02:24.000 Impossible.
01:02:25.000 Demonic.
01:02:25.000 It's like, what you were saying earlier, like, do you believe in good or evil?
01:02:28.000 Yeah.
01:02:29.000 I don't know if I believe in it, but if it did exist, it exists in the mind of men.
01:02:33.000 Yeah.
01:02:33.000 It exists in that time, you know?
01:02:36.000 I know.
01:02:37.000 Or, yeah.
01:02:38.000 Yeah.
01:02:39.000 I had this bit that I did on my last special, and it was about men's rights groups.
01:02:45.000 I was trying to figure out a way to say this and make it be funny, but it's so true that I said, men commit most of the murder.
01:02:54.000 Men commit most of the rape.
01:02:56.000 Men cause all the war.
01:02:57.000 These are facts.
01:02:59.000 The most horrific things in our life are war, murder, rape.
01:03:04.000 Those are the most horrific things.
01:03:06.000 Yeah.
01:03:06.000 In all of life.
01:03:07.000 I mean, theft pales in comparison.
01:03:09.000 And I think men steal more than women, too.
01:03:11.000 Yeah.
01:03:11.000 But that's the evil.
01:03:14.000 If there was a demon, and the demon came down to earth, and there was only three things that it could get you to do.
01:03:19.000 Yeah.
01:03:19.000 It would get you to rape, murder, and cause war.
01:03:21.000 Right.
01:03:21.000 So if a demon was real, a demon would be men.
01:03:24.000 I said this as a joke that I get feminists in the special.
01:03:29.000 I was like, I get it.
01:03:29.000 If I was a feminist, I'd be one, too.
01:03:31.000 I'm like, I can't be one as a man because they're not real.
01:03:34.000 Yeah.
01:03:34.000 Because male feminists, they're just tricksters.
01:03:37.000 Show me a male feminist that can pick up heavy things and run really fast.
01:03:43.000 They don't exist.
01:03:44.000 You have a limited parameter where you're allowed to be a male feminist.
01:03:48.000 But I get it.
01:03:50.000 When I look at the actions of men, if you're an objective person, you take yourself out of the human race.
01:03:55.000 And you look at all human beings.
01:03:59.000 And you look at the horror that men, not that women haven't done awful shit and falsely accused people and killed their kids.
01:04:06.000 And women have done all those things.
01:04:07.000 Some women.
01:04:08.000 Some.
01:04:08.000 But the vast majority of horrors have been committed by men.
01:04:13.000 Yeah.
01:04:14.000 I know.
01:04:15.000 It's like, I know it's a very primitive way to look at the world.
01:04:20.000 That there's good and evil and it exists in these certain ways.
01:04:23.000 Want some pot?
01:04:23.000 That's good.
01:04:23.000 That's all good.
01:04:24.000 Get a little hit of that.
01:04:26.000 Don't get crazy.
01:04:26.000 I'm worried that I won't be funnier after I do this.
01:04:29.000 Okay.
01:04:29.000 Let's see.
01:04:29.000 Jamie, I'll pick up the slide.
01:04:33.000 Dude, you're like Elon Musk.
01:04:34.000 You're a goddamn pioneer.
01:04:36.000 We good?
01:04:37.000 Jamie's got to go deeper.
01:04:40.000 Jamie's going for three, I think.
01:04:41.000 Is that three?
01:04:42.000 Jamie has hip problems.
01:04:43.000 If you see a video of the floor, Jamie hits the wrong button.
01:04:51.000 He's like Biggie Smalls over there in a cloud of...
01:04:53.000 What's amazing to me is that this is now 100% legal here, but still not federally, right?
01:05:00.000 Well, that's what was funny about the Elon thing, when Elon smoked it here.
01:05:04.000 It was like, it's totally legal, it's totally okay, but in everyone's minds, they're still like, no, it's not.
01:05:11.000 Yeah, well, they need to let it go, and this is why they need to let it go.
01:05:14.000 We're on your side.
01:05:16.000 I'm on...
01:05:19.000 Like, the good people of government, law enforcement, fire department, military, the good people of government, I'm on your side, man.
01:05:26.000 Yeah.
01:05:26.000 And I'm a stoner.
01:05:27.000 Yeah.
01:05:28.000 I mean, I'm on your side.
01:05:29.000 I'm on your side a thousand million percent.
01:05:31.000 And making it legal actually helps all that because you don't have to go out and fight these phony wars against it.
01:05:37.000 It doesn't just do that.
01:05:38.000 It makes people more compassionate.
01:05:40.000 I know.
01:05:40.000 It makes people...
01:05:41.000 Look, it's like everything else.
01:05:43.000 You can abuse beating off.
01:05:45.000 I remember when I was...
01:05:46.000 A million dollars a drop!
01:05:48.000 One million dollars for one drop of my sperm.
01:05:52.000 If you're a person that gets obsessed with masturbation, you could ruin your life.
01:05:57.000 Yeah.
01:05:58.000 There's people that are legitimate porn addictions where they watch porn eight, ten hours a day.
01:06:03.000 And they can't stop.
01:06:04.000 Right.
01:06:04.000 This is like everything.
01:06:05.000 Yeah.
01:06:06.000 I think you can ruin yourself with sugar.
01:06:08.000 You can ruin yourself with food.
01:06:10.000 You can ruin yourself with laziness.
01:06:12.000 You can get into a habit where you just can't get up.
01:06:15.000 You can get into a comfort zone where you just want to take baths all day.
01:06:21.000 People do shit like that.
01:06:22.000 Yeah, no, I know.
01:06:23.000 Exactly.
01:06:25.000 Did Roseanne say she did that after all of her bullshit went down?
01:06:28.000 She just got in the bath all the time and drank wine?
01:06:31.000 Was that her that said that?
01:06:32.000 It's her safe space.
01:06:33.000 I apologize if it wasn't.
01:06:35.000 So anyway, I know it's a very basic way.
01:06:39.000 I mean, we've been talking about good and evil since the time of the men were able and women were able to write and philosophize.
01:06:47.000 But I don't know.
01:06:48.000 It just seems to me lately like...
01:06:52.000 It feels to me like evil and good is actually a force that we're struggling with.
01:06:57.000 And I know some people would say that's kind of a primitive way of thinking, but I do kind of feel like...
01:07:06.000 It actually is a very real, tangible thing.
01:07:14.000 What makes you think this?
01:07:15.000 Your personal feelings?
01:07:18.000 Is it based on your intuition?
01:07:21.000 What is it?
01:07:23.000 Yeah, it's intuition.
01:07:24.000 It's like a vibe.
01:07:25.000 It's like a, it's just like a, maybe because I'm showing up at church and kind of like searching a little bit myself and I am very much about good people doing good things and I've just been kind of conscious of it.
01:07:40.000 But then there's always like this rise of evil that like comes up like all of a sudden white supremacists or these riots or these horrible things against people in different parts of the world and it's It seems like it's this ongoing struggle.
01:07:54.000 Almost like, why hasn't it caught up yet to the way you look at the world, the way a lot of people look at the world?
01:07:59.000 Yeah.
01:07:59.000 A lot of people look at the world like if Tom Papa, if you were in charge, and if you had to push all the buttons that would sort of...
01:08:13.000 Yeah.
01:08:22.000 Who, when you sit and, like, kind of analyze them, and they've been the victims of a lot of things, and there's, like, genetic victimization and social, and it's like, so where's that coming from?
01:08:33.000 Why are these, this kid that could have been okay ends up in this life of crime and ends up murdering somebody, and where's that coming from?
01:08:40.000 Is this just a genetic mutation, or is there, like, a force of...
01:08:45.000 Good and evil.
01:08:46.000 I think we're still dealing with the echoes of the past.
01:08:50.000 That's what I really firmly believe.
01:08:52.000 And I think, also, the way maybe you and I are having this conversation, the way a lot of people are having these conversations today, just like us, basically the same sort of rational people sitting around I think we need to absorb that much better.
01:09:22.000 Our time spent Right.
01:09:28.000 Right.
01:09:33.000 Right.
01:09:40.000 The bit that I have in my act about the United States being founded in 1776, that's three people ago.
01:09:46.000 People lived to be 100. That's three people ago.
01:09:48.000 It really is.
01:09:49.000 Yeah, that's nothing.
01:09:50.000 So three people ago, people were these creatures that had to make fire.
01:09:57.000 Right?
01:09:58.000 To stay warm.
01:09:59.000 They didn't have electricity.
01:10:01.000 They didn't have engines.
01:10:02.000 Yeah.
01:10:03.000 They made boats out of trees, and they used the wind to drift across the ocean while staring at the stars with a fucking gigantic harp-looking thing.
01:10:11.000 Right?
01:10:11.000 What was that thing?
01:10:12.000 A sextant?
01:10:13.000 Yeah.
01:10:13.000 Isn't that the thing that they used to look at the stars and figure out where the other ones are?
01:10:17.000 So you had to trust that these motherfuckers had mapped out the universe well so that you could make it across the ocean?
01:10:23.000 Yeah.
01:10:23.000 And a lot of people died of scurvy along the way.
01:10:25.000 Like, fuck, man.
01:10:26.000 That is crazy.
01:10:28.000 And not long ago.
01:10:29.000 Dude, that's so goddamn recent.
01:10:31.000 Yeah.
01:10:32.000 I was listening to Dan Carlin's Hardcore History.
01:10:35.000 One of the best podcasts ever.
01:10:36.000 I don't know if you've ever listened to it.
01:10:38.000 It's so good.
01:10:39.000 But he has this thing on the Mongols called the Wrath of the Khans.
01:10:43.000 And what freaked me out is not just how crazy that world was back then and what unbelievable damage and destruction the Mongols created.
01:10:51.000 And how they just conquered empires, just moved across the world, killed millions and millions of people.
01:10:57.000 But what was really fucked up was, I think, Google this to make sure I'm not wrong, I think that was only like 1200 BC. I don't think that was that long ago.
01:11:07.000 Right.
01:11:08.000 That's really recent, man.
01:11:11.000 That's really recent.
01:11:13.000 I think Genghis Khan died in the 1200s, if I remember correctly.
01:11:18.000 1200 AD, not BC. A.D. Oh, did I say B.C.? I actually meant A.D. I said B.C., but it really did mean A.D. Which makes it more recent.
01:11:26.000 I'm a little stoned, folks.
01:11:28.000 But it made it a lot more recent.
01:11:30.000 But that 1,200...
01:11:31.000 Well, 1,200 B.C. would still be pretty fucking recent.
01:11:35.000 But 1,200 A.D., which is what I meant to say, that is so recent.
01:11:38.000 That's just...
01:11:40.000 Not that long ago.
01:11:41.000 Yeah, that's 818 years ago.
01:11:44.000 Right?
01:11:45.000 Yeah.
01:11:45.000 Ish?
01:11:46.000 Other way.
01:11:46.000 Other way.
01:11:48.000 792. 792. 792 years ago, a guy killed 50 million people during his lifetime with his actions.
01:11:56.000 Right.
01:11:57.000 They changed the carbon footprint of the world.
01:11:59.000 I mean, they destroyed...
01:12:02.000 I mean, they...
01:12:04.000 So then you're saying it's more surprising that we're doing this kind of stuff and that we have electric cars and medicine and all this other kind of...
01:12:12.000 It's more surprising that we're doing that than it is that people are running around killing each other.
01:12:18.000 Nazi Germany.
01:12:19.000 Dude, that was 1940s.
01:12:21.000 That's crazy.
01:12:23.000 That's maybe crazier than anything.
01:12:25.000 And Carlin has some great stuff on that too in the history of World War I and World War II. But if you're You're watching a documentary on that, and you're watching those people move around, especially that one that you showed me, Jamie, that's been digitally remastered.
01:12:40.000 When you see it in color.
01:12:41.000 Is it Ken Burns that did that?
01:12:43.000 Yeah, I think so.
01:12:44.000 They digitally remastered some footage from World War I, and you get to watch these people move around in real time.
01:12:50.000 You realize, oh, these are just people.
01:12:53.000 They're just people.
01:12:54.000 Just like you and me.
01:12:55.000 And this is like a hundred years ago.
01:12:56.000 A hundred years ago, we were involved in this crazy-ass war.
01:12:59.000 And then...
01:13:00.000 A few years later, involved in another crazy-ass war.
01:13:03.000 Yeah.
01:13:03.000 So why can't we figure it out?
01:13:05.000 Dude, I'm telling you.
01:13:06.000 Because evil is present.
01:13:08.000 I don't know.
01:13:08.000 I think it used to be the only way the people got by.
01:13:13.000 Killing each other?
01:13:14.000 I think from going from small groups of people...
01:13:17.000 Which, like, in these small groups of people, they would have interpersonal conflicts, they would have fights with members in the tribe, but they would sort it out, and there would probably be some sort of rule that they would all try to live by.
01:13:30.000 But then they would get invaded by people that didn't have anything, and they weren't looking for your stuff.
01:13:35.000 And they came over the top of the hill, and they killed, and they raped.
01:13:38.000 And they stole women, and they just did that for a long-ass time, man.
01:13:43.000 They did that for a long-ass time.
01:13:45.000 The history of the steps that Dan Carlin maps out in this Wrath of the Khan thing makes you go, Jesus Christ, imagine being born then.
01:13:55.000 Imagine.
01:13:56.000 Just imagine how crazy that meant being a baby and seeing arrows flying around.
01:14:02.000 People cut open.
01:14:03.000 Dude, people were lighting people on fire and launching them onto roofs with catapults.
01:14:08.000 Right.
01:14:09.000 This is the footage from World War I. So look how they digitally remastered it.
01:14:14.000 Peter Jackson is doing it for a movie, I believe, or a documentary.
01:14:17.000 That's the craziest thing.
01:14:18.000 When you look at history and you think, well, that was then.
01:14:20.000 It's like, no, they're just us.
01:14:22.000 They're really no different than you and me.
01:14:24.000 Dude, we haven't been here this long.
01:14:27.000 We haven't been here this long.
01:14:29.000 This is the thing, like, people that look like this, that are wearing, like, uniforms and that are, you know, have, like, decent stuff, nice wheels to their wagons, all that kind of shit.
01:14:41.000 That's real recent, man.
01:14:43.000 No, I know.
01:14:44.000 It's recent as fuck.
01:14:45.000 And there's been a bunch of different ways that people have done it.
01:14:48.000 You know, but even if you go back to, like, the Egyptians.
01:14:50.000 But isn't the act of, like, okay, so we know, like, that guy lit his house on fire.
01:14:56.000 We know that is a, just instinctually, we know and have known during even all this history, we've known that that is evil.
01:15:05.000 You know what I mean?
01:15:06.000 It's insanely selfish.
01:15:08.000 It's not like we went from having to eat each other and now we're trying to get our act together.
01:15:12.000 You know what I mean?
01:15:14.000 We all know that that is such a evil, evil thing.
01:15:18.000 It is.
01:15:19.000 It is.
01:15:20.000 I think it exists.
01:15:21.000 I think we have to fight it.
01:15:22.000 Well, it is evil, but it's ego that's causing that, right?
01:15:26.000 That guy didn't want to go to jail.
01:15:28.000 He didn't want to shoot himself.
01:15:29.000 He didn't want to kill himself, and he didn't want to go to jail.
01:15:32.000 So he decided he was going to kill a bunch of people to make up a story.
01:15:36.000 He had a plot, and his plot was to save himself.
01:15:39.000 And that's when people get trapped in a situation where they're allowed to make decisions.
01:15:46.000 And they're allowed to, you know, not allowed to, but if they choose to make decisions and those decisions are horrific and then they have to somehow or another justify those decisions because they never look at their own behavior.
01:15:58.000 They always judge other people.
01:15:59.000 This is a pattern that people fall into where they're always looking for other people to always be wrong.
01:16:04.000 And they never grow.
01:16:05.000 And so, like a guy like that, if he was so psychotic that he could kill somebody and then he has this decision to make.
01:16:12.000 This decision is to kill the wife and the kids, too.
01:16:14.000 He's just always got to be right.
01:16:16.000 You know what I'm saying?
01:16:18.000 He's trying to cover his tracks.
01:16:20.000 He's trying to lie.
01:16:21.000 Always.
01:16:23.000 The type of person that could do something like that, this is a horrific pattern of thought.
01:16:28.000 It might have been triggered by the murder itself.
01:16:30.000 So it's just a chemical flip in his brain that says, now I can kill people?
01:16:33.000 Like, he hasn't done it his whole life, and he's just going to the subway and getting a sandwich with all the stuff on it, and just, like, watching the Monday Night Football, and then the next week he's like, something flips in his brain, it's like, no, now I can kill all the people that I know and love?
01:16:49.000 I think in a fit of rage, in a fit of rage, he does something horrific, and then I think he's one of those people that tries to justify his actions.
01:16:58.000 So it just gets...
01:16:59.000 So he tries to figure out a way where he can justify it.
01:17:04.000 That they're going to be in hell anyway because the guy's dead.
01:17:07.000 You know, they'd probably better off not suffering.
01:17:10.000 I don't think he's thinking that deep.
01:17:11.000 He can't be thinking that deep.
01:17:13.000 He could.
01:17:13.000 You think?
01:17:14.000 People are crazy, man.
01:17:15.000 They come up with justifications.
01:17:16.000 Yeah, but we came from these, like we said before, this is an Italian dude like us.
01:17:20.000 Right, but he could have also, we don't know if he's medicated, do we?
01:17:24.000 No, that's a big one.
01:17:26.000 Your brain chemistry.
01:17:27.000 We don't know what he was doing.
01:17:29.000 He could have been on something, which makes people do horrific things.
01:17:34.000 Do you believe in karma?
01:17:37.000 I think for sure that when you put energy out there, it affects things around you in terms of the way people interact with you, and that in turn affects the way they will interact with other people as well.
01:17:51.000 And I think there's a certain amount...
01:17:54.000 There's an energy you put out.
01:17:55.000 You could call it that, but that makes it sound like you've got a crystal in your pocket, right?
01:18:00.000 Not really.
01:18:01.000 Energy is real.
01:18:02.000 It's like...
01:18:03.000 Energy is a real thing.
01:18:04.000 There's a real...
01:18:05.000 Right?
01:18:06.000 If I was a murderer and came and sat in here, there'd be a different vibe than what you're feeling from me.
01:18:13.000 Yeah, for sure.
01:18:14.000 You know what I mean?
01:18:15.000 Yeah, for sure.
01:18:16.000 A chronic masturbator.
01:18:17.000 Well, it's also...
01:18:20.000 People that are off and then struggling with the fact that they've done something awful.
01:18:25.000 Right.
01:18:25.000 There's like an energy to that.
01:18:26.000 Yeah.
01:18:27.000 It's like a constantly being on edge energy.
01:18:29.000 Yeah.
01:18:30.000 You ever read Crime and Punishment?
01:18:31.000 That's Dostoevsky?
01:18:32.000 Yeah.
01:18:33.000 I never read that.
01:18:34.000 Oh, you should read it.
01:18:35.000 It's so...
01:18:36.000 He kills someone and he's carrying the...
01:18:39.000 The guilt.
01:18:40.000 It's the greatest description of the guilt.
01:18:41.000 Just carrying that thing.
01:18:43.000 Now that guy's going to emit an energy...
01:18:46.000 But you don't think there's karma just for, like, you do something bad and then something bad will happen to you?
01:18:50.000 I think, I genuinely believe, and this is no crystals in my pocket, I genuinely believe that if you do something that you know to be awful, that that has an equal effect coming back at you.
01:19:04.000 Uh-huh.
01:19:05.000 Like, whatever bad that you've put out in terms of, like, doing something evil to a person, the way you feel personally, like, about yourself...
01:19:15.000 You will take an equal blow.
01:19:18.000 I really believe that.
01:19:19.000 And where does that blow come from?
01:19:21.000 I think it comes from your own introspective thinking.
01:19:24.000 So you're doing it to yourself.
01:19:26.000 And maybe even worse.
01:19:26.000 You might even feel worse than that person.
01:19:28.000 You'd say something rude to a person just because you're tired.
01:19:30.000 And then you realize you said something rude and you're like, fuck.
01:19:34.000 Right.
01:19:34.000 Oh, why did I do that?
01:19:35.000 And then they could be like, Tom Papa's a dick.
01:19:38.000 No, I'm really not.
01:19:39.000 I'm just so tired.
01:19:40.000 You just asked me something stupid.
01:19:42.000 I'm sorry.
01:19:43.000 But it's hard to turn that around.
01:19:46.000 So you might hate yourself more than they even get mad at you.
01:19:50.000 So karma's really you dealing with the energy.
01:19:53.000 It's not the universe saying, now something bad's going to happen to you.
01:19:55.000 You're kind of creating it with your own actions and your own stuff.
01:20:00.000 I think it's real dangerous when we pretend that we have any sort of real understanding of the patterns of all the events that take place in the world.
01:20:09.000 So when you start to say like someone, something happened to someone because of karma, that's okay.
01:20:15.000 The problem with saying that is what about babies?
01:20:18.000 What about babies with leukemia?
01:20:20.000 Were they bad babies?
01:20:21.000 Right.
01:20:22.000 What happened?
01:20:23.000 Why did they get cancer?
01:20:24.000 Why did they die young?
01:20:25.000 Right.
01:20:25.000 Why did they die in car accidents?
01:20:27.000 That doesn't make any sense.
01:20:29.000 They've never done anything bad.
01:20:31.000 They're babies.
01:20:32.000 But you could say that bad shit happens to us all, but can you create more bad shit by your bad actions?
01:20:40.000 I think it's entirely possible, too, and it's also entirely possible that you're creating more bad shit by feeling bad about yourself because you've done bad shit.
01:20:47.000 So you create more of this negative energy that you carry around with you.
01:20:51.000 I think that's entirely possible, too.
01:20:53.000 But I think that we also have this weird need to define things, you know?
01:20:57.000 And I think that we're looking to this thing that we're calling karma And we're saying that this is like this definite correlation between action and reaction and between the good you put out there and the good that comes back.
01:21:10.000 And my take is that I think there's definitely something going on.
01:21:15.000 But I don't think we should define it yet because I don't think we really know.
01:21:18.000 And I think as soon as we box it up and say it's this thing and this is the absolute reaction that the world has.
01:21:25.000 When you put good out there, good comes back.
01:21:27.000 Good people die all the time, folks.
01:21:30.000 Good people die.
01:21:31.000 I think there is an energy.
01:21:35.000 We know it from the work that we do.
01:21:38.000 I think it's both things.
01:21:39.000 When you stand on stage, there's an energy in that room, that transference between you and the people that are out there.
01:21:44.000 You're playing with it.
01:21:46.000 It's a real thing.
01:21:47.000 Yeah.
01:22:04.000 It's not that far to think then there couldn't be good energy, and there's bad energy, and is that ultimately good and evil?
01:22:14.000 Maybe it is all generated from human beings.
01:22:16.000 Maybe if you educated everyone and they could all be kind and try and come at it that way, we could actually feel that there was more good, but that's just more good coming from people.
01:22:24.000 I don't know.
01:22:25.000 Well, if you want to get really spacey with this.
01:22:27.000 Sure.
01:22:27.000 Really, really spacey.
01:22:29.000 It's the holidays.
01:22:30.000 You go...
01:22:32.000 Okay, well, what exactly are people doing?
01:22:35.000 That's what you do.
01:22:36.000 What are people doing?
01:22:37.000 What are they doing?
01:22:38.000 Like, what's our purpose to be here?
01:22:40.000 Look at us from an outside perspective.
01:22:43.000 Like, pretend you're not a person.
01:22:44.000 Right.
01:22:45.000 And you're looking at all the people like, what are they doing?
01:22:47.000 Yeah.
01:22:47.000 Yeah.
01:22:47.000 They're moving really fast.
01:22:48.000 They're spending most of their time doing things they don't want to do, and they're buying stuff.
01:22:52.000 Bustling around.
01:22:53.000 And so because they're throwing all this money at stuff, the stuff keeps getting better.
01:22:57.000 So every year the stuff keeps getting more complex and more capable and more high-tech and more space-age.
01:23:03.000 This is bananas, man.
01:23:04.000 I've got to watch.
01:23:05.000 I can call people.
01:23:06.000 Fucking Dick Tracy, man.
01:23:07.000 Yeah.
01:23:08.000 Right?
01:23:08.000 Yeah.
01:23:09.000 And that as people keep going on and on and on and on with this stuff, this is...
01:23:13.000 We need some sort of energy behind this innovation, and a lot of the energy is conflict, conflict and resolution, conflict and resolution, conflict and victory, victory and defeat, and defeat makes you work harder, and there's all these,
01:23:29.000 like, interacting forces that are constantly moving together.
01:23:34.000 I'm with you.
01:23:34.000 And that this...
01:23:36.000 A lot of it is expressed, the success of this little game is expressed in material possessions.
01:23:42.000 The success in this game is expressed in Hamptons Mansions and Private Jets and Bentleys and PAM! I'm winning this fucking crazy game of stuff!
01:23:52.000 And there's a lot of value in winning the crazy game of stuff.
01:23:55.000 So we let these people acquire all this stuff and you got all these diamonds and fireworks.
01:24:00.000 I got a jet ski!
01:24:02.000 Yeah, but this is forcing more stuff to be made better and more innovation, which will eventually, and this is where it gets spaciest of all.
01:24:11.000 I'm waiting for this part.
01:24:13.000 This is going to be what people become.
01:24:15.000 People are going to become some sort of symbiotic organism, something that's tied into electronics.
01:24:20.000 It's happening now.
01:24:22.000 It's happening slowly, and we're making it with stuff.
01:24:25.000 And as we keep making stuff, it's eventually going to get to a part.
01:24:28.000 The thing you'd like to do more than anything is have it enhance your experience on Earth.
01:24:33.000 I want to be able to take pictures, yes, yes.
01:24:36.000 I want to be able to email people, yes, yes.
01:24:37.000 But I also want it to make my experience on Earth better.
01:24:42.000 Well, then we're going to have to integrate with your circuitry, Tom Papa.
01:24:45.000 And then live forever.
01:24:47.000 Maybe.
01:24:47.000 Maybe that's what the organisms are trying to do.
01:24:50.000 They're trying to become this thing that...
01:24:52.000 Get rid of the monkey that wants to start the wars all the time.
01:24:55.000 Right?
01:24:57.000 Enlightenment.
01:24:57.000 Purge that.
01:24:58.000 Purge that out of our goofy ass system.
01:25:00.000 Beat evil.
01:25:02.000 What if only some...
01:25:03.000 That would be a great science fiction movie.
01:25:05.000 What if this is the future?
01:25:06.000 And they probably have already made it.
01:25:07.000 But if only some people went on board with the new enlightenment that you get from these headsets.
01:25:13.000 Remember the dude from Star Trek?
01:25:15.000 The blind guy?
01:25:16.000 Yeah.
01:25:17.000 From Sesame Street?
01:25:18.000 Remember?
01:25:19.000 He used to be on Sesame Street, right?
01:25:20.000 Yeah, he was the...
01:25:21.000 LeVar Burton?
01:25:22.000 Reading Rainbow.
01:25:23.000 Yeah, Reading Rainbow.
01:25:24.000 LeVar Burton?
01:25:25.000 LeVar Burton, yeah.
01:25:26.000 If we all had those things on...
01:25:28.000 There was only like 10 of them.
01:25:30.000 Most people bought into it, and those things completely cure you of any evil.
01:25:37.000 Yeah, and just moving along.
01:25:40.000 I think that...
01:25:42.000 I don't know.
01:25:43.000 I mean, maybe there is no purpose to us being here.
01:25:46.000 There it is.
01:25:47.000 That's an air filter, son.
01:25:49.000 You got that shit from Pep Boys.
01:25:52.000 That's an air filter.
01:25:54.000 That's like a cool air filter on top of a muscle car.
01:25:58.000 Isn't it?
01:25:59.000 Isn't it?
01:26:00.000 Come on, man.
01:26:01.000 That's a 69 Chevy.
01:26:02.000 Yeah, you bought that at the auto parts store and put it in your Toyota Corolla.
01:26:07.000 Those are the dope old ones, man.
01:26:09.000 When you fucking unscrew the chrome hubcap, you pull it off and you put the new air filter down.
01:26:15.000 I always liked a good wing nut.
01:26:16.000 Yeah, man, the wing nut.
01:26:17.000 No tools, just...
01:26:19.000 And people don't remember, man.
01:26:21.000 These people today, you don't remember what gas smells like.
01:26:23.000 Oh, man.
01:26:23.000 You could fix your own car.
01:26:25.000 You could open it up and with a screwdriver and a high school education, fix your automobile.
01:26:30.000 I was never smart enough or knowledgeable enough to fix my own car, but I could do little things.
01:26:34.000 I could do it.
01:26:35.000 I could change my oil.
01:26:36.000 Yeah, change your oil.
01:26:37.000 I could do a lot of things with old cars.
01:26:38.000 Yeah, exactly.
01:26:39.000 I was too stupid to fix them.
01:26:40.000 I did the brakes once.
01:26:41.000 I did the brakes.
01:26:42.000 Did the brakes.
01:26:43.000 That's a bold move.
01:26:44.000 What if you're wrong?
01:26:44.000 I was poor.
01:26:45.000 Oh, man.
01:26:46.000 I didn't have money.
01:26:48.000 Buying brake pads was a lot cheaper than having some guy know how to do it.
01:26:52.000 Did you put it up on a jack?
01:26:54.000 How'd you handle it?
01:26:54.000 Yeah, put it up on a jack.
01:26:56.000 I had a cinder block that held it underneath.
01:26:59.000 Damn.
01:26:59.000 It was a light little car, little pads.
01:27:02.000 Put them in.
01:27:03.000 I probably had to get it fixed after that.
01:27:06.000 But yeah, you could fix stuff.
01:27:07.000 There was a time when you could actually...
01:27:09.000 And you felt good about it.
01:27:11.000 But...
01:27:12.000 But, if you had to choose between one of those fucking rickety shitboxes that's like a rhinoceros on roller skates versus your Tesla.
01:27:23.000 Yeah, no, there's no way.
01:27:24.000 Those old things can go fuck themselves.
01:27:26.000 No, and I wouldn't put my kids in one of those.
01:27:28.000 We were driving around in those death traps.
01:27:31.000 Dude, those are death traps for sure.
01:27:32.000 No steering, no airbags.
01:27:35.000 Hydroplane at the drop of a hat.
01:27:36.000 Yeah, exactly.
01:27:38.000 Just spinning around.
01:27:39.000 They were so engine heavy, remember?
01:27:41.000 Those cars, they had just big ass engines in the front.
01:27:44.000 They didn't know how to The ass end would just slide all over the place.
01:27:46.000 It was so easy to slide your car back down.
01:27:49.000 It was totally.
01:27:49.000 Being with your friends, just spinning out in this big medical...
01:27:53.000 The cars of today, they've figured out how to balance them.
01:27:55.000 That's the big deal.
01:27:57.000 No, it's a huge deal.
01:27:58.000 Like a Tesla or anything.
01:27:59.000 You buy a fucking Camry, okay?
01:28:01.000 That Camry handles way better than a 69 Camaro.
01:28:05.000 Yeah.
01:28:06.000 Fucking way better.
01:28:08.000 I would like to see what the death rates are on the roads now with new cars.
01:28:13.000 It's gotta be...
01:28:15.000 It's probably much better.
01:28:17.000 I mean, they're much safer than they've ever been before.
01:28:20.000 But they're also driving much faster, too.
01:28:22.000 Yeah, but you don't have to drive very fast for it to be fatal.
01:28:26.000 They just didn't know how to make stuff.
01:28:27.000 Everything was metal and glass, filled with gasoline.
01:28:31.000 Fucking metal and fucking sparks and fumes.
01:28:34.000 Fumes were everywhere, man.
01:28:36.000 You'd be driving, you'd be getting high from the fumes, right?
01:28:38.000 I remember when I was working for a fireplace company in the summer in New Jersey, and I was in a truck, and we're in this truck in traffic on the New Jersey Turnpike right by Newark Airport.
01:28:49.000 And just the fumes from everything, from the city, from the cars.
01:28:52.000 It was just orange in the humidity of New Jersey.
01:28:55.000 I was like, if I get cancer, this is going to be the day that it hit me.
01:29:00.000 And it makes people crazy.
01:29:01.000 It's like throwing alcohol on fire.
01:29:04.000 Breathing that dust all day.
01:29:06.000 So disgusting.
01:29:07.000 Pull up a video of the sound of the exhaust of a 1969 Camaro.
01:29:14.000 There is something to it.
01:29:15.000 There's something to it.
01:29:17.000 The smell of gas is a good smell.
01:29:19.000 It's not just that, man.
01:29:20.000 It's that sound.
01:29:22.000 Yeah.
01:29:22.000 There's a sound.
01:29:23.000 Ooh, how about this one?
01:29:25.000 Even better.
01:29:26.000 1960s Chevelle...
01:29:27.000 1970s Chevelle SS. Yeah.
01:29:35.000 You can fuck yourself, rest of the world.
01:29:37.000 Okay, that shit?
01:29:39.000 That's America, motherfucker.
01:29:41.000 There's nothing evil about that sound.
01:29:43.000 Yeah!
01:29:44.000 That is America!
01:29:49.000 You driving one of those motherfuckers around?
01:29:52.000 It was very cool.
01:29:54.000 I mean, American muscle cars, as preposterous as they are, they represent in a lot of ways what's great about America.
01:30:01.000 Yeah.
01:30:02.000 The excess, ridiculousness.
01:30:04.000 Exactly.
01:30:05.000 Not giving a shit.
01:30:06.000 It's just so outrageous.
01:30:07.000 Just let's go.
01:30:08.000 Let's have a good time.
01:30:09.000 Fucking giant metal explosion contained in the front of the hood.
01:30:13.000 That's all it is.
01:30:14.000 A giant-ass explosion box.
01:30:17.000 Look at this.
01:30:18.000 Ooh, that's the 69. Is it?
01:30:20.000 Nope.
01:30:20.000 Yeah, it's the 69, I think.
01:30:23.000 There it is, yeah.
01:30:24.000 Look at that.
01:30:25.000 That is fucking insanely beautiful.
01:30:28.000 Good lord!
01:30:29.000 But you know what?
01:30:31.000 Oh my god, dude.
01:30:33.000 This guy...
01:30:36.000 This is gloriousness.
01:30:38.000 You see heaven on earth right here.
01:30:41.000 1969 Chevelle.
01:30:42.000 Look how pretty that car is, man.
01:30:44.000 If this guy's across the street from me and I'm looking out with my coffee out of my window and he comes pulling out with that on a Saturday morning, you know what I'm saying?
01:30:51.000 What?
01:30:51.000 This guy's an asshole.
01:30:53.000 Do you hear Herbie with his new car?
01:30:55.000 He's going through a midlife crisis.
01:30:57.000 You say that, but I guarantee you if you were next door and you just walked over and looked at it, it would catch you in its bell.
01:31:04.000 Ha ha!
01:31:05.000 We would.
01:31:06.000 One drop of sperm.
01:31:08.000 If it's across the street, it's just racket.
01:31:10.000 Jesus Christ.
01:31:11.000 Why does your car have to be so loud?
01:31:13.000 Yeah.
01:31:13.000 Keep it down.
01:31:13.000 But if you're right next to it, you're like, wow, 1969, huh?
01:31:17.000 And you'll start walking around it.
01:31:18.000 That is pretty badass.
01:31:19.000 It's beautiful.
01:31:21.000 Yeah.
01:31:22.000 You can't make a car like that today because it's not even remotely aerodynamic.
01:31:26.000 It's not aerodynamic.
01:31:28.000 It's not fuel efficient.
01:31:29.000 It's not safe.
01:31:30.000 But they're beautiful, man.
01:31:32.000 They nailed it.
01:31:33.000 They hit this sweet spot in art and engineering.
01:31:36.000 That is the one part of the American experience.
01:31:39.000 Recklessness.
01:31:40.000 Yeah.
01:31:40.000 That's what drives everything.
01:31:42.000 There is that element of balls to the wall.
01:31:45.000 Let's see what happens.
01:31:46.000 Let's discover.
01:31:47.000 And you could get good things out of it.
01:31:48.000 Right, but imagine this.
01:31:49.000 Imagine something that's far inferior to the modern alternative, but makes you feel in a way the modern alternative isn't capable of feeling.
01:32:00.000 Like, if you see a 1969, like, done up Mustang GT. What was the big one that year?
01:32:10.000 GTO. Mach 1. Was it a Mach 1?
01:32:12.000 What the fuck was the 1970?
01:32:14.000 Was it a Boss?
01:32:15.000 That's what it was.
01:32:17.000 The 69 was like a Boss.
01:32:19.000 And then earlier than that, they made those Eleanor cars for that Gone in 62nd.
01:32:23.000 I think those were 1967. So early in that they had that body style.
01:32:26.000 Yeah.
01:32:27.000 Like, if you looked at one of those next to a 2018 Mustang, the 2018 Mustangs look fucking great.
01:32:34.000 They look great.
01:32:34.000 That's it, right there.
01:32:35.000 It's a Mach 1. Yeah, that's it.
01:32:37.000 Oh, that's right.
01:32:38.000 It's from the John Wick movie.
01:32:40.000 Dude, there's a company that's making these now, too.
01:32:44.000 They're called Classic Recreations.
01:32:47.000 Mm-hmm.
01:32:47.000 And they're making these brand new versions of that car.
01:32:52.000 They take 1969 Mustangs and they rebuild them, but they give them real brakes so they stop good.
01:32:58.000 Modern suspension.
01:33:00.000 They make it so you can drive it around.
01:33:02.000 See, that's what I'm interested in.
01:33:04.000 That makes sense to me.
01:33:05.000 That makes a lot of sense.
01:33:07.000 Those old ones, they're just pretty.
01:33:09.000 Mustang, badass tires.
01:33:12.000 But when you look at that, how beautiful is that?
01:33:15.000 It doesn't look like anything that you can buy that's modern.
01:33:18.000 No.
01:33:18.000 There's nothing remotely close.
01:33:20.000 No.
01:33:20.000 That's like vinyl.
01:33:22.000 They just nailed it.
01:33:25.000 Whatever the fuck they did, they nailed it.
01:33:27.000 All these years later, we're like, God damn it, they nailed it.
01:33:30.000 Right?
01:33:31.000 But they nailed it for a certain...
01:33:42.000 Look at that red one with the black stripes in the hood.
01:33:47.000 You don't know if young people would like that?
01:33:49.000 I don't know.
01:33:50.000 You need to start arresting them if they don't like that.
01:33:52.000 If young boys don't look at that Mustang and say, good God, that's incredible.
01:33:58.000 If they don't do that, then they should probably go to jail somewhere.
01:34:01.000 That is pretty hot.
01:34:02.000 That's incredibly good looking.
01:34:04.000 But it's stupid.
01:34:05.000 It's insanely beautiful.
01:34:06.000 But it's also stupid.
01:34:07.000 How so, sir?
01:34:08.000 It's just metal right in your chest cavity.
01:34:11.000 No airbag.
01:34:13.000 You need to do more push-ups.
01:34:14.000 Just glass just in your face.
01:34:16.000 It's probably a little bit of that.
01:34:18.000 No, I know what you mean.
01:34:19.000 Just don't get in a car accident and drive carefully, and it's a wonderful thing to behold.
01:34:23.000 Yeah.
01:34:25.000 My buddy had a Mustang when we were in high school.
01:34:28.000 But if you saw something like that, but it had airbags, you'd be cool with it then?
01:34:31.000 Yeah, no, I'm cool with it anyway.
01:34:32.000 I'm just busting balls.
01:34:33.000 But I think that it's...
01:34:34.000 Look at that little orange thing in the middle.
01:34:36.000 That looks closer to what I had.
01:34:38.000 I had a 76 Toyota Corolla.
01:34:40.000 Call that up.
01:34:42.000 Call up a 1976 Toyota Corolla with the racing stripes along the side.
01:34:49.000 Look at that, bad boy.
01:34:50.000 Look at that orange one in the second row.
01:34:52.000 That was it.
01:34:53.000 I had a 1984 Honda Accord.
01:34:55.000 Pull that shit up, Jamie.
01:34:58.000 84 Honda Accord with stuttering spark plugs.
01:35:01.000 That's a 79. You need the 76. Those are cool little cars, though.
01:35:07.000 I could fix that car.
01:35:09.000 That's what I was doing the brakes on.
01:35:11.000 Yeah, it looks like one of those, something like that.
01:35:13.000 It was white.
01:35:14.000 Nice little shitty car.
01:35:16.000 Seven Legend.
01:35:17.000 Ooh.
01:35:17.000 It's just like this.
01:35:18.000 Ooh.
01:35:19.000 Ooh.
01:35:20.000 You know what, man?
01:35:21.000 Here's the thing about those cars.
01:35:22.000 That's a nice car.
01:35:22.000 Those fucking cars drive forever.
01:35:25.000 Yeah, exactly.
01:35:27.000 It's amazing how reliable Hondas are.
01:35:30.000 Oh, yeah.
01:35:30.000 They're so insanely reliable.
01:35:32.000 Toyotas.
01:35:32.000 Oh, my God.
01:35:33.000 Just go forever.
01:35:35.000 Just having that crummy car is a good thing.
01:35:39.000 So you think, back to your point of view of what are these people doing here?
01:35:45.000 So they're building, I liked where you were going.
01:35:47.000 We're making stuff.
01:35:48.000 Making stuff for what?
01:35:50.000 Because everything's electronically based.
01:35:52.000 And is this all instinct or is it being steered by something?
01:35:56.000 Are we just finding our way in the dark and this is what's coming out?
01:35:59.000 Or is there some plan?
01:36:02.000 That's the heavy question.
01:36:04.000 It's really hard to know if there was a plan.
01:36:07.000 Yeah.
01:36:07.000 I get why some would be suspicious that there would be.
01:36:10.000 But if you just see the whole nature, right, the starting off of the tribal behavior and the invasions of the others and the wars that have taken place sort of nonstop, right?
01:36:20.000 Yeah.
01:36:21.000 You get this hyper-competitive team-oriented thing.
01:36:25.000 It's broken into countries.
01:36:27.000 Yeah.
01:36:27.000 Well, I think that with that and this, like, constant competition and this constant – and then inside your country, this constant competition economically and everybody just striving to achieve and do better and get crazier and bigger and this is all leading to us just continuing to buy stuff.
01:36:45.000 Like, everybody that is involved in this is buying the newest iPhones, the newest MacBook, the newest this, the newest that, the Xbox fucking – how many Xboxes have there been now?
01:36:56.000 Let's just say four.
01:36:57.000 Four, yeah.
01:36:59.000 They're going to keep going.
01:37:00.000 They're going to go to Xbox 5. They're going to keep going.
01:37:03.000 That's what everybody does.
01:37:04.000 They want better shit.
01:37:05.000 They want VR. We want VR. We want hyper-realistic VR. I want VR with no gear.
01:37:09.000 I want you to be able to give me a pill, and that pill releases a bunch of nanobots that go through my circulatory system and find my brain and juice it up with some artificial memory.
01:37:19.000 That's what I want, and I shit them out later.
01:37:21.000 Like buckshot.
01:37:22.000 Clink, clink, clink.
01:37:24.000 Yeah.
01:37:25.000 Like a kidney stone.
01:37:26.000 Yeah, you shit it out like buckshot.
01:37:28.000 Like little BBs coming out in your poop.
01:37:30.000 This is...
01:37:31.000 Look, beings always try to...
01:37:34.000 Find safety, right?
01:37:36.000 That's what they want more than anything.
01:37:37.000 They don't want to get killed.
01:37:38.000 They want to be safe and exist, eat whatever, but they just want that safety.
01:37:44.000 So maybe our safety is going to come when we're out of the woods, we're out of the wild, we're out of the 20th century, and we're just these insular things that never have to go out and about and live forever and just be.
01:37:57.000 Could be.
01:37:58.000 Maybe that's what all this push of technology is aiming towards.
01:38:02.000 Yeah, it could be.
01:38:03.000 Right?
01:38:03.000 It's just to protect ourselves in these little cocoons and be.
01:38:08.000 Yeah, I mean, if the ultimate threat is always violence and war, right?
01:38:13.000 That's the ultimate threat to the organism.
01:38:15.000 The organism would commit violence and war against each other.
01:38:18.000 Yeah, which is why we make doors and gates and stuff to keep those things at bay.
01:38:22.000 Yep.
01:38:23.000 Yeah.
01:38:24.000 But the most fascinating things that people don't address, like what would cause a person to snap.
01:38:32.000 There's no real concrete answer.
01:38:36.000 What do you think is the difference between, and I'm asking this honestly, killing when you're hunting and killing a human being?
01:38:48.000 I think it would be a giant difference in terms of the way you felt.
01:38:51.000 Yeah, how could you articulate it though?
01:38:53.000 I don't know.
01:38:54.000 I've never killed a human being.
01:38:55.000 But I would imagine that it would be...
01:38:58.000 I mean, it would have to be some horrific situation where you're battling for your life, which people do.
01:39:05.000 It does happen.
01:39:07.000 We're all aware of it.
01:39:09.000 It's the worst possible scenario.
01:39:11.000 We would all like to think that everybody that we meet that's of sound mind should be our brothers and sisters.
01:39:20.000 I mean, we should all get along.
01:39:21.000 Whether you agree or disagree about certain political issues or certain social issues, we should be able to talk through that as a community, but always hold at the top that we're all in this together.
01:39:34.000 I think that's possible.
01:39:36.000 I think that's possible, and I think we could still satisfy this fucked up desire that we have to constantly compete.
01:39:43.000 We can temper that with what I think is the most important thing, is finding something that you're passionate at.
01:39:49.000 Because I think you and I are really, really lucky that we found stand-up.
01:39:53.000 And through stand-up, we found this thing that we're passionate at, and we have a good time, and we have fun.
01:39:58.000 Some people don't have that.
01:39:59.000 So if you were offered a job as a stockbroker, and this is a guaranteed job, you have a guaranteed contract for the next 20 years, you're going to make five times as much as you make doing stand-up, but you can't do stand-up anymore.
01:40:12.000 You would never take that.
01:40:13.000 You'd be like, why would I do that?
01:40:15.000 So even though you're a guy who does well, you're not a business person.
01:40:20.000 You're a guy following your passion.
01:40:21.000 And it's allowed you to live a nice life.
01:40:24.000 But that doesn't, it's not the same as a lot of people.
01:40:27.000 What a lot of people are doing is just chasing the money.
01:40:30.000 So the passion doesn't exist.
01:40:32.000 And they can manufacture that passion when it comes to some desire to see their team kick ass because their company's number one.
01:40:40.000 It doesn't have to be the work.
01:40:41.000 Yeah, it could be.
01:40:42.000 It could be really that they are into succeeding in the business world, and that's their passion.
01:40:46.000 There's a lot of people that like that.
01:40:47.000 But it's not the same as a guy like David Cho, who's like a professional artist, who's making – he just follows his passion.
01:40:57.000 He does what he wants.
01:40:58.000 There's a different kind of achievement.
01:41:00.000 There's a feeling that he has, the way he interfaces with what he does for a living, that's different than what a lot of people do.
01:41:06.000 So I would imagine that – Artists would probably be less inclined to go crazy and spend all their money on stuff and buy things that make them look better or make them feel better about the fact that they work so hard.
01:41:18.000 Because they're not trying to fill a hole.
01:41:19.000 Right.
01:41:19.000 But if you have a job for a company that you don't really give a fuck about, you don't really give a fuck about styrofoam coolers.
01:41:27.000 You really don't give a fuck about those rubber bands that people buy when they have causes.
01:41:33.000 You don't give a fuck about this company, right?
01:41:35.000 Right.
01:41:35.000 A fucking guy who does your business and you're there.
01:41:38.000 Okay, well, you know, we can give him to you for $17.96 if we can work this through.
01:41:42.000 Bob, we're talking about a thousand bucks.
01:41:45.000 He doesn't want to be there.
01:41:46.000 That guy wants to be fishing.
01:41:47.000 That guy wants to be doing something else.
01:41:51.000 You're insanely fortunate that you don't have that in your life.
01:41:54.000 But I think, I don't think those people, look, a lot of people have jobs that they're not into, but the reason we're lucky is that our job is our passion.
01:42:03.000 A lot of people have the job that they're maybe not into, but they love this other stuff that they do.
01:42:09.000 They love being with their family and It's the most insanely lucky thing ever.
01:42:28.000 But I think that for people that are hyper-competitive, that don't find a thing that they really love, then it really, for many of them, becomes about pursuing the best stuff.
01:42:39.000 And this is what fuels so many people for these status symbols.
01:42:44.000 Like if you have an iPhone 8, if a kid sees you with an iPhone 8 and they got an iPhone 10, they feel superior to you.
01:42:51.000 It's fucking weird.
01:42:52.000 They can basically do the exact same thing.
01:42:55.000 iPhone 8 has a fucking killer camera.
01:42:58.000 iPhone 8, you know, like the battery's pretty similar.
01:43:01.000 Oh, the bezels are bigger.
01:43:02.000 The differences are tiny.
01:43:03.000 Yeah.
01:43:04.000 Tiny.
01:43:04.000 But for status-seeking people, it's very important that you have the latest stuff.
01:43:09.000 Like, you can't be walking around like, David Tell the other day with an iPhone 2. Jamie burst out laughing.
01:43:15.000 He got on Twitter.
01:43:16.000 Attell is hilarious.
01:43:18.000 There's nothing about Attell that is searching for status.
01:43:21.000 None.
01:43:22.000 I was saying that he's like a monk in that way.
01:43:24.000 He is.
01:43:25.000 Yeah, you're right.
01:43:26.000 He's smart.
01:43:27.000 He's a brilliant guy.
01:43:29.000 He knows what's healthy for him and what's not, other than the cigarettes.
01:43:34.000 Yeah, he can't put those.
01:43:35.000 But in terms of mental health.
01:43:36.000 But all his other stuff, he stopped drinking and did all his other things.
01:43:39.000 Yeah, no, he cleaned himself up really well.
01:43:41.000 The cigarettes are the only vice he has.
01:43:42.000 Cigarettes and coffee, he was saying.
01:43:44.000 That's his vice.
01:43:45.000 He's a poet amongst us.
01:43:47.000 Yeah, he's brilliant.
01:43:48.000 He's somebody that...
01:43:49.000 He's special.
01:43:50.000 He really is, and he's a really good guy.
01:43:52.000 Yeah, no, he's so kind.
01:43:54.000 He's so kind.
01:43:55.000 Just being around and in his orbit for years coming through New York.
01:43:59.000 I love him and Jeff together, too.
01:43:59.000 I love the two of them together.
01:44:01.000 Yeah, no, it's really...
01:44:02.000 Jeff Ross and him.
01:44:03.000 It's so funny.
01:44:04.000 I never would have seen that coming when we were all young in New York.
01:44:07.000 I know, right?
01:44:08.000 I never would have saw that, those two doing it.
01:44:11.000 I don't know what, not for any real reason, but I just never saw them intersecting.
01:44:15.000 I never would have saw any of us doing something like that, doing live shows together, fucking around with each other.
01:44:21.000 It's a great idea.
01:44:23.000 It is a great idea.
01:44:23.000 Because some of those shows, you see those pictures from the Comedy Cellar, and they're like, One o'clock in the morning, Dave Chappelle's on stage with Chris Rock, and they're fucking around.
01:44:31.000 I know, there's always three guys on stage.
01:44:33.000 That's crazy, man.
01:44:34.000 I never understand that either.
01:44:36.000 But being around Attell, watching him all through the years, he would always surprise you when someone's father died or something happened.
01:44:44.000 Attell was always...
01:44:46.000 Front and center, like, helping out, giving people money.
01:44:49.000 Like, there's a kindness to him.
01:44:50.000 He's a legitimate kind guy.
01:44:51.000 Yeah.
01:44:52.000 Another force of good.
01:44:53.000 Yeah.
01:44:54.000 A real force of good.
01:44:55.000 And a guy who, like, comics should really appreciate.
01:44:59.000 Like, if you're a fan of the art form, like, David Tell's really someone to appreciate.
01:45:03.000 Yeah.
01:45:03.000 Because he's always creative.
01:45:06.000 It's, like...
01:45:07.000 It's never douchey.
01:45:08.000 It's always funny.
01:45:10.000 Skanks for the Memories?
01:45:11.000 That's one of my all-time favorite CDs.
01:45:13.000 That shit is hilarious.
01:45:15.000 He's so funny.
01:45:16.000 That is a hilarious CD, man.
01:45:18.000 I think he did that in Denver.
01:45:20.000 I think he did that at the Comedy Works at Wendy's place.
01:45:23.000 Oh, very cool.
01:45:24.000 Yeah.
01:45:25.000 That's very cool.
01:45:26.000 Skanks for the Memories.
01:45:27.000 Is it?
01:45:28.000 Yeah, that fucking...
01:45:29.000 In Denver?
01:45:30.000 That CD's brilliant.
01:45:31.000 Yeah.
01:45:32.000 He's amazing.
01:45:33.000 He's so good.
01:45:35.000 Yeah, I mean, to answer what you're saying, yeah, your face here in its photo.
01:45:41.000 He's so silly.
01:45:43.000 I think that was when he was doing insomnia too, right?
01:45:46.000 Yeah.
01:45:47.000 That was the partying days.
01:45:49.000 Yeah.
01:45:49.000 He's just such a smart guy.
01:45:52.000 He just decided at one point, hey, this is fucking me up.
01:45:55.000 No more drinking.
01:45:57.000 That's it.
01:45:57.000 No more drinking, no more show.
01:45:59.000 I'm not going to do this thing that's attracting negativity to my shows and setting me up as a guy that's going to drink himself into oblivion.
01:46:07.000 No, he was smart.
01:46:08.000 He pulled the cord.
01:46:11.000 Yeah, you're the party guy.
01:46:13.000 You're the life of the party guy.
01:46:14.000 You need to talk to Bert.
01:46:16.000 Just sit Bert down.
01:46:17.000 Yeah.
01:46:17.000 Ask him what the fuck he's...
01:46:18.000 What's his end game?
01:46:20.000 Yeah.
01:46:20.000 Or talk to Ron White.
01:46:22.000 He's doing it with a...
01:46:23.000 Listen, Ron White...
01:46:24.000 Ron White's not faking it.
01:46:25.000 I'll tell you exactly what Ron White's doing.
01:46:27.000 He's riding that fucking boat right into the rocks.
01:46:29.000 Is he?
01:46:30.000 He doesn't give a fuck.
01:46:31.000 Right, exactly.
01:46:32.000 And he's doing it with a tequila company.
01:46:34.000 Cheers.
01:46:35.000 He's got his own tequila company.
01:46:36.000 Cheers.
01:46:36.000 Happy holidays.
01:46:37.000 Cheers, my friend.
01:46:38.000 I set up my train under my tree.
01:46:41.000 What is it?
01:46:42.000 Numero One?
01:46:42.000 Is that his tequila company?
01:46:45.000 I just said I set my train up under my tree, and you still focus on tequila.
01:46:51.000 Did you have photos or videos of this train under your tree?
01:46:55.000 I think I did.
01:46:56.000 Put anything on the Instagram?
01:46:57.000 Probably.
01:46:58.000 It wouldn't be real if it wasn't.
01:47:00.000 Yeah, it's hard.
01:47:01.000 I love it, though.
01:47:01.000 Especially good stuff in your life.
01:47:02.000 My kids are getting older.
01:47:03.000 They're like 16 and 13 years.
01:47:06.000 And they were at school and I'm setting up the village under the tree and the train tracks and all the people shopping around the village.
01:47:12.000 And I was doing it on my own because they don't have time to really do it.
01:47:17.000 And I was like, this is how people become the guy in the neighborhood who's like, bring your children around to look at my train set.
01:47:24.000 Because your family leaves and you're like, are there any children around that want to look at my train set?
01:47:31.000 I could totally see myself doing that at some point.
01:47:34.000 Totally.
01:47:35.000 Well, there's those dudes that they go all Close Encounters of the Third Kind.
01:47:38.000 They make that giant one in the middle of the living room.
01:47:44.000 That's such a funny reference.
01:47:46.000 Yeah, because he had the plywood on the horse.
01:47:50.000 Yeah, he went crazy and built that mountain in the middle of his house.
01:47:55.000 His wife divorced him.
01:47:56.000 Yeah, you make a train around that.
01:47:59.000 It's not that far from that.
01:48:02.000 That's really funny.
01:48:03.000 Why can't I remember his name?
01:48:04.000 Richard Dreyfuss.
01:48:05.000 Of course.
01:48:06.000 Jesus Christ.
01:48:07.000 Richard Dreyfuss.
01:48:08.000 What a great movie.
01:48:09.000 Well, he's been great in so many things.
01:48:11.000 He was like always the unassuming guy.
01:48:15.000 Jaws?
01:48:15.000 Yeah, man.
01:48:16.000 Him and Spielberg.
01:48:17.000 He was the scientist.
01:48:18.000 He was Spielberg's alter ego, really.
01:48:20.000 Yeah.
01:48:21.000 But he's so good.
01:48:22.000 Yeah.
01:48:22.000 He's so good in everything.
01:48:23.000 He looks so young there.
01:48:25.000 He was, man.
01:48:26.000 Man, oh man.
01:48:27.000 What a fucking movie this was, because I wanted to believe so bad after this movie.
01:48:32.000 I so wanted to believe.
01:48:34.000 They got me.
01:48:34.000 Hey, did you talk about that alien craft that came into our galaxy?
01:48:42.000 It did.
01:48:42.000 The one with the Hawaiian name?
01:48:44.000 Oh, so it's over.
01:48:45.000 You didn't hear about that one?
01:48:46.000 The one that looks like a joint?
01:48:47.000 Yeah, or a big piece of poo.
01:48:49.000 Yeah, that's just a rock, right?
01:48:51.000 The big duty copter.
01:48:52.000 It's just a weird rock, I think.
01:48:54.000 No, they said that some legit people said that it changed speed and went in different directions.
01:49:00.000 Oh, legit people.
01:49:01.000 Legit people.
01:49:02.000 Oh.
01:49:02.000 Scientists.
01:49:03.000 Oh, them guys.
01:49:04.000 Said that it could be something.
01:49:07.000 Could be.
01:49:09.000 What does Neil deGrasse say about it?
01:49:12.000 He's not talking right now.
01:49:15.000 Yeah, he's in a little bit of a kerfuffle.
01:49:17.000 Kerfuffle.
01:49:18.000 What's this, James?
01:49:20.000 Harvard scientists say aliens may explain bizarre interstellar object.
01:49:25.000 Yeah, I saw that and then I saw someone refuting that they would- Harvard scientists!
01:49:30.000 Harvard!
01:49:30.000 Nobody wants to believe more than me, bro.
01:49:32.000 Come on, Joe!
01:49:33.000 It's real!
01:49:34.000 Well, if I was going to mask my spaceship to fly through the galaxy, I would definitely make it look like a big rock.
01:49:39.000 Yeah, like a big asteroid.
01:49:41.000 Right.
01:49:41.000 Why wouldn't you?
01:49:43.000 Driving through space.
01:49:45.000 Maybe they were like, look, if we just make this thing drive by them and don't change speeds, they'll have no idea.
01:49:52.000 They'll just think we're an asteroid and they'll be psyched that we missed them.
01:49:55.000 Like, yeah, yeah, good call, good call.
01:49:56.000 And the guy's like, left turn!
01:49:57.000 Someone just hits the gas.
01:49:58.000 I'm tired.
01:49:59.000 It's fucking taking too long.
01:50:02.000 What'd you do, Dave?
01:50:03.000 What?
01:50:04.000 The fucking cops are behind us, Dave!
01:50:07.000 Shit!
01:50:07.000 God damn it, Dave.
01:50:08.000 You're not supposed to just take off.
01:50:10.000 I told you.
01:50:10.000 65, you fuck.
01:50:13.000 Let's start throwing this weed out the window.
01:50:14.000 Why would it be so hard to believe a space rock traveling through space?
01:50:19.000 That would be the move, right?
01:50:20.000 I mean, if they're so advanced that they can travel through galaxies, they can make the shit look like anything they want it to.
01:50:25.000 Yeah.
01:50:25.000 Why wouldn't you doll it up?
01:50:28.000 Radiation pressure, accelerating force...
01:50:31.000 The only thing that I would think though would be...
01:50:32.000 There's no air in space, right?
01:50:35.000 So it wouldn't be aerodynamics.
01:50:37.000 What would it be?
01:50:37.000 Momentum?
01:50:38.000 No, go down a little bit.
01:50:39.000 I think it answers your question.
01:50:41.000 If radiation pressure is the accelerating force, then Omomama represents a new class of thin interstellar material.
01:50:50.000 Whoa.
01:50:51.000 It has a different thing that it's using for energy.
01:51:08.000 Jesus Christ!
01:51:13.000 Imagine if that's what we find.
01:51:15.000 That's what it does.
01:51:16.000 Like a rock, right?
01:51:18.000 Rock is not smooth, but it doesn't necessarily need...
01:51:21.000 This is where I'm stupid.
01:51:22.000 This is one of many places where I'm stupid.
01:51:25.000 But it doesn't necessarily need to be aerodynamic, right?
01:51:28.000 Because it's not going through air.
01:51:29.000 It's going through the vacuum of space.
01:51:31.000 Right.
01:51:31.000 Exactly.
01:51:32.000 So I'm not wrong there.
01:51:33.000 It could actually look like a rock.
01:51:35.000 The only issue would be getting it into space, right?
01:51:37.000 The aerodynamics, assuming that you're shooting it from a planet with an atmosphere, again, should not be talking about this.
01:51:44.000 Way too stupid.
01:51:45.000 No, let's go.
01:51:46.000 That's what life's about.
01:51:47.000 If you're launching it from Earth into space, right?
01:51:51.000 Yeah.
01:51:52.000 What if you had it encased in this outer area, sort of like the space shuttle is, but then once you get to a place, you could jettison the outside of it, just like they get rid of those booster rockets.
01:52:05.000 Yeah, they fall off.
01:52:06.000 They just fall into the fucking land on people while they're fishing.
01:52:08.000 Yeah.
01:52:11.000 What the hell was that?
01:52:12.000 That has to have happened, right?
01:52:13.000 Imagine getting killed by a booster rocket flying out of space and hit you in the face.
01:52:17.000 Didn't disintegrate.
01:52:19.000 But then they could do that.
01:52:20.000 They could release the shell, and then they would just have the rock.
01:52:23.000 And the rock would move through space, and it didn't matter what shape it was, because it's in the vacuum of space.
01:52:27.000 Or just get it up into orbit, like the space station, go and build it in pieces, and then launch it.
01:52:34.000 Phew!
01:52:34.000 Do you remember when that Commander Chris Hadfield gentleman was on the podcast and he was talking about some kind of magnet that they have that collects subatomic particles out there in the galaxy and that we only know 5% of what the universe is made out of when they're talking about things like dark matter?
01:52:54.000 5%?
01:52:54.000 And this guy's a scientist, a real legit astronaut, coming back from six months in space or whatever the fuck he was there for.
01:53:03.000 And telling us this, we're like, what?
01:53:07.000 We've talked about that.
01:53:08.000 You can hang with those guys for a little while, and then you're like, I don't understand what's happening now.
01:53:13.000 Well, it's also amazing what we do know.
01:53:16.000 Amazing that they can send a guy to space and have him fly around the ISS. Well, talk about what you were saying about why are we here and what are we doing.
01:53:26.000 We haven't developed yet something that can go the...
01:53:31.000 The speed of light.
01:53:32.000 But if we do, then the whole universe is open to us.
01:53:36.000 Maybe that's what it is.
01:53:37.000 Maybe the struggle of developing all this stuff is to get to a scientific level where we can really go.
01:53:42.000 I don't think they think the speed of light is even good enough.
01:53:45.000 Really?
01:53:46.000 Yeah.
01:53:46.000 Goddammit, that was my goal!
01:53:49.000 I think that like...
01:53:51.000 If you wanted to have options available as to what planet you're going to colonize, you're going to have to...
01:53:57.000 Who knows?
01:53:58.000 What if you land on a planet and it's like, hey, it's 74 degrees out.
01:54:03.000 Guys, guys, it's all oxygen and nitrogen.
01:54:06.000 It's just like Earth.
01:54:07.000 Come on out here.
01:54:07.000 Come on out here.
01:54:08.000 But it's only been like that for 10 years.
01:54:10.000 And then its cycle is really fucked up.
01:54:13.000 Like 30 years from now, it's going to be a nice age.
01:54:17.000 It'll be horrible.
01:54:17.000 And then all the people have moved there, and they're going to freeze to death, and there's going to be no food at all, and the planet doesn't give a fuck.
01:54:23.000 All our science led us to that.
01:54:26.000 I don't even know if we can predict...
01:54:28.000 Here's my question.
01:54:30.000 Can they accurately predict the atmosphere and the conditions and what the temperature would be if a planet is from a sun?
01:54:38.000 Do they have a calculation where they say, oh, this sun is this amount of big, and this planet is this far away...
01:54:44.000 So it's definitely going to stay within a certain temperature range for the entire time that the planet...
01:54:47.000 Do they know that within a death range?
01:54:50.000 I don't know.
01:54:51.000 I would think so.
01:54:51.000 Because a death range is only like 40 degrees.
01:54:53.000 Yeah, they must.
01:54:53.000 Death range is 40 degrees, bro.
01:54:55.000 Yeah.
01:54:55.000 You get to 140, that's a wrap.
01:54:57.000 Yeah, you're done.
01:54:57.000 Yeah.
01:54:58.000 So like 100, you can make it.
01:55:00.000 140, everyone's dead.
01:55:01.000 Right?
01:55:02.000 You live in a sauna.
01:55:03.000 You're going to run out of water.
01:55:05.000 I just don't think we're going to make it.
01:55:06.000 We're not.
01:55:07.000 And we're definitely not figuring it out because we're saying this amount of big...
01:55:11.000 Yeah, exactly.
01:55:12.000 We're not even helping.
01:55:13.000 We're confusing the problem.
01:55:15.000 But seriously, think about that just as a concept.
01:55:17.000 Like, maybe that is it.
01:55:19.000 Maybe all this, like, you keep thinking, you know, you talk a lot about all the robots and the things that are moving us forward, but why, but why, but why?
01:55:27.000 And I had the cocoon theory before, but maybe that's not it.
01:55:30.000 Maybe it's so we can really go.
01:55:33.000 Yeah, I've had the cocoon theory for quite a while where I think that we are like some sort of an electronic caterpillar that's building some cocoon and then a butterfly is going to emerge.
01:55:46.000 Right?
01:55:47.000 As a collective?
01:55:48.000 Like we'll all be part of this thing?
01:55:50.000 I don't know.
01:55:50.000 I mean, just the innovation and the computers and the AI and our integration with them.
01:55:55.000 That eventually it's just going to get smarter and crazier and weirder.
01:55:58.000 Yeah.
01:55:59.000 I mean, it's only a matter of time before they make something that resembles a person.
01:56:05.000 It sounds too...
01:56:07.000 Science fiction?
01:56:09.000 No, it sounds too insular that it would just be for us to stay here on Earth.
01:56:13.000 The universe is so vast that there may...
01:56:17.000 I think it's more likely...
01:56:19.000 That we're going to go out of this.
01:56:22.000 That's a very good idea.
01:56:24.000 This is the sewer.
01:56:25.000 It certainly makes sense.
01:56:25.000 It's kind of the sewer.
01:56:26.000 Oh, but is it, though?
01:56:27.000 It's amazing.
01:56:28.000 Well, it's beautiful.
01:56:29.000 There's parts that are really nice.
01:56:29.000 Come on, man.
01:56:30.000 We have a lovely life.
01:56:31.000 Have you ever been to Utah?
01:56:32.000 Just look at the stars or look at the beautiful clouds in the sky on a day like today.
01:56:38.000 Oh, my God.
01:56:38.000 Today is lovely.
01:56:40.000 You go outside, there's clouds floating around.
01:56:42.000 It just gives you the right amount of sun.
01:56:43.000 A little bit of contrast.
01:56:44.000 It is the best.
01:56:45.000 It's lovely.
01:56:46.000 How could you say this is a sewer?
01:56:48.000 Because there's so many parts that are disgusting.
01:56:51.000 America!
01:56:52.000 So many parts are not the best.
01:56:55.000 Not so many parts.
01:56:57.000 Because we still have...
01:56:59.000 This evil, this other stuff that's clawing at each other and knocking each other and it's still filled with danger and murder.
01:57:05.000 Not right here.
01:57:06.000 Not right here.
01:57:07.000 It's in certain spots.
01:57:09.000 So this is the other thing that we tend to do because we have 7 billion people on the planet And cameras on all of them.
01:57:16.000 Yeah.
01:57:17.000 And everybody's got a camera and we're exchanging these stories.
01:57:20.000 You're catching stories from an unimaginable number of humans.
01:57:25.000 Yeah.
01:57:26.000 Right?
01:57:26.000 And so even if we're looking at just our country, there's so many people.
01:57:29.000 Just LA. So many people.
01:57:31.000 It's 20 million people.
01:57:32.000 It's insane.
01:57:32.000 What's really amazing.
01:57:34.000 It's really amazing.
01:57:47.000 Yeah.
01:57:54.000 I think about that on the freeway all the time.
01:57:56.000 There's so many people, man.
01:57:57.000 You're right.
01:57:58.000 And they're all pretty much acting in an orderly fashion to preserve themselves and others.
01:58:04.000 Yeah.
01:58:04.000 Yeah.
01:58:05.000 No, it's true.
01:58:06.000 Every now and then you have someone that's just crazy, just violates all the rules.
01:58:10.000 Just weaving in traffic and driving 150 miles an hour in a residential community.
01:58:15.000 Maybe it's just a mutation.
01:58:16.000 Maybe that's just a mutation.
01:58:18.000 I think it is.
01:58:19.000 I think it is in the same way those things exist in like a biological system, right?
01:58:25.000 You can get these little diseases, little bugs, these little things that are off, you know, and then you have an immune system that battles the bugs.
01:58:32.000 Yeah, like when you see stuff about chimpanzees and there's like everyone's getting along trying to do their thing, there's struggles, but then there's a real mutation.
01:58:41.000 Like there's someone that, there's one that kills the rest of them and won't be part of the thing.
01:58:45.000 You know, that's what we have.
01:58:46.000 We have these kind of like renegade mutations run by evil, which is why we should all go back to church.
01:58:54.000 What's interesting is that it's in large groups, right, and all of us together.
01:58:57.000 Like, the way we interact with each other is generally non-violent.
01:59:02.000 However, these large groups will decide by whatever, you know, whoever's in charge to attack other large groups.
01:59:13.000 And this is where the big death comes from, right?
01:59:16.000 This is where the real toll comes from.
01:59:19.000 In war.
01:59:19.000 Right?
01:59:20.000 But if you looked at the actual communities of people from one side or the other, like the groups themselves together, how much are they really in conflict with those other people?
01:59:31.000 Probably not nearly as much as the people that are in charge would want them to be.
01:59:35.000 Which, right.
01:59:36.000 Yeah.
01:59:36.000 Which is a very small...
01:59:37.000 It's almost like the mutation is in charge.
01:59:39.000 Right.
01:59:40.000 Because, right, you take two groups that are at war and you put them together, they're just hanging out drinking beer together, we're all the same age, they probably have a great time together.
01:59:48.000 Their leaders talk them into something crazy.
01:59:49.000 The leaders are the mutation.
01:59:51.000 That's when things get scary.
01:59:52.000 Whether it's the Hitler leader or, you know, whoever is the one that's invading places.
01:59:58.000 They're talking people into invading places.
02:00:00.000 Yeah.
02:00:02.000 That's some slippery justification.
02:00:05.000 Yeah.
02:00:05.000 You know, that's where the world gets very strange.
02:00:07.000 And I think it's interesting that those people in those groups, you know, all come from all over the world or all over the country, at least.
02:00:15.000 All these different places and they're brought together.
02:00:18.000 Right, but look how we've progressed.
02:00:19.000 There's fewer of those kind of conflicts now than ever before.
02:00:23.000 Right, but you and I, and I think a lot of other people would like it to be zero amount, right?
02:00:27.000 Yeah.
02:00:28.000 But I don't know if that's ever going to happen, man.
02:00:30.000 That's a weird thing to say, because you would like everybody to be in a good place in this world.
02:00:35.000 Yeah.
02:00:38.000 Like many things, this push of good things happening and bad things, positive and negative, and this battle between the two of them is what creates all this momentum and all this movement.
02:00:48.000 That's the good and evil.
02:00:50.000 We're back to the good and evil, so maybe we should go back to church.
02:00:52.000 Look, the priest did some weird stuff, but maybe it's good people in there more than evil people.
02:00:59.000 Well, the problem is, with that church in particular, they're still shielding the people that have done terrible things.
02:01:07.000 Yeah.
02:01:07.000 There's just no denying that.
02:01:09.000 If you look at the facts, if you look at everything that's come out, there's no denying that.
02:01:14.000 It's super unfortunate.
02:01:16.000 Because I think the vast majority of the people that are involved in the religion that aren't the people that are pedophiles, I think they're very good people that probably think about it the same way maybe your daughter would like to think about it.
02:01:27.000 That it's some place where people can get together and they exchange affection and camaraderie.
02:01:33.000 And this acceptance of something higher than them that holds them to a certain standard and wants them to be good people, and that's good for everybody.
02:01:40.000 Good for everybody.
02:01:41.000 But if it wasn't for all that kid fucking.
02:01:43.000 God!
02:01:44.000 All that kid fucking just ruined all that.
02:01:45.000 It just, yeah.
02:01:46.000 Yeah.
02:01:47.000 Really?
02:01:48.000 Really?
02:01:48.000 It's such a sad, sad thing.
02:01:50.000 Google this because I've said this many times and I've never bothered looking it up.
02:01:55.000 That the reason why, we can get another bottle of that if you want to get fucked up.
02:02:00.000 It's the holidays.
02:02:02.000 Okay, it's the holidays.
02:02:05.000 Shit.
02:02:06.000 A lot of sediment in that.
02:02:07.000 What were we just talking about?
02:02:08.000 Good and evil and the priests and why they're ruining it all.
02:02:13.000 And you said, go get that video.
02:02:14.000 Look something up if you haven't looked before.
02:02:15.000 A reason why.
02:02:17.000 Oh, that's it.
02:02:18.000 Thank you.
02:02:19.000 I thought that was gone forever.
02:02:20.000 I voted.
02:02:21.000 The reason why they forced priests to be celibate.
02:02:26.000 Because what I had heard, and this is no scholarly work of my own, I don't remember even reading the article, I think somebody told it to me, that priests were banging too many chicks.
02:02:40.000 It might have been Andy Bravo.
02:02:41.000 He might have said it in that way.
02:02:42.000 Priests were banging too many chicks, man, they made them go celibate.
02:02:45.000 I don't think that was it.
02:02:48.000 What do you think it is?
02:02:48.000 I think it was property.
02:02:50.000 I think that when priests own property and if they were married and he died, she would keep the property.
02:02:59.000 If there was no woman involved and he owned the property and he couldn't be with a woman and he swore that he was just with Jesus, when he died, the property went to the church.
02:03:09.000 Oh.
02:03:10.000 Yeah.
02:03:12.000 Yeah.
02:03:13.000 That's, you know, which is not much of, I mean...
02:03:15.000 That's crazy.
02:03:17.000 It's...
02:03:17.000 Wow.
02:03:18.000 That whole other part of Catholicism is the other thing that bumps me all the time.
02:03:21.000 When you go to the Vatican, it's like, wow, this is beautiful, but what?
02:03:25.000 Where'd they get all this art?
02:03:27.000 Where'd they get all these buildings?
02:03:28.000 I mean, the pillaging of riches.
02:03:30.000 Fucking billions of dollars worth of shit.
02:03:33.000 All stolen from a time where people were starving in the streets.
02:03:36.000 I know!
02:03:37.000 Yeah.
02:03:38.000 This is how powerful religion is.
02:03:39.000 This is how powerful this pull is to search for good and to be a part of something.
02:03:44.000 Is that in light of those things that you see the wealth.
02:03:49.000 It's like going into like a pirate ship and seeing all the shit that they got and then knowing what they do with these children.
02:03:55.000 So both those things are, you should just say, fuck this, I'm not going to be a part of this at all.
02:04:02.000 But the other part of it is so strong that you actually will kind of say, well, yeah, yeah, yeah, but I'm still going to go to Mass on Sunday.
02:04:11.000 I think what happens is you think that even if a priest is bad, that the religion is still good.
02:04:18.000 The idea is that this is like a bad guy who lost his way.
02:04:22.000 These are human beings that are flawed.
02:04:25.000 Yeah, a lot of them are drunk too, man.
02:04:27.000 Yeah, really drunk.
02:04:30.000 I read my grandma's eulogy.
02:04:34.000 Oh, no.
02:04:34.000 Her name was Josephine, but he kept calling her Geraldine.
02:04:37.000 Oh, no.
02:04:38.000 They had to correct him.
02:04:39.000 It's Josephine.
02:04:40.000 He was saying all these great things about her.
02:04:42.000 He didn't know who the fuck she was at all.
02:04:44.000 I know.
02:04:44.000 And he had those gym blossoms.
02:04:46.000 Oh, Jamie brought another bottle of wine.
02:04:47.000 Oh, my God.
02:04:48.000 Savage.
02:04:48.000 Savage, Jamie.
02:04:49.000 Jamie.
02:04:51.000 But I think, you know, you take a guy and you put him in that position where he can't have a companion.
02:04:57.000 Like, you're not allowed to have a love.
02:04:59.000 You can't have a wife or a husband or whatever.
02:05:01.000 You can't have that.
02:05:02.000 It's a horrible thing to do.
02:05:04.000 You're fighting nature.
02:05:05.000 There was a kid that I went to high school with that became a priest.
02:05:09.000 Yeah.
02:05:10.000 We all knew he was gay.
02:05:11.000 Oh, yeah.
02:05:12.000 We all knew, like, it was like a thing.
02:05:14.000 You knew, like, oh, this is why he's going to be a priest.
02:05:16.000 We get it.
02:05:17.000 Right.
02:05:17.000 Well, that's what a lot of people say.
02:05:18.000 It's like that the church, the other side of it is that the church doesn't create pedophiles.
02:05:23.000 Like, the institution attracts them because they know they'll be safe there.
02:05:28.000 Well, it's possible, but it's also possible that so many of them that are active in the church, and I don't know what this guy's story was.
02:05:34.000 I barely knew him.
02:05:35.000 Yeah.
02:05:35.000 But that he could have been molested.
02:05:38.000 I mean, it's not a small number of kids that were molested.
02:05:41.000 It's a very large number.
02:05:43.000 It's large.
02:05:43.000 Yeah.
02:05:44.000 And you would never, I mean, who the fuck understands what that would be like to be a young boy, to have that happen to you, and then get groomed and indoctrinated into being a part of this thing that does that to other young boys in the future?
02:05:57.000 Yeah.
02:05:57.000 It's your whole reality.
02:05:58.000 Which has to be what some of them are, and they're all doing this under the blanket of this thing called the church.
02:06:03.000 Then when the church finds out about it, the church moves people to all these different various places, and they get these new victims.
02:06:11.000 Yeah, so bad.
02:06:11.000 And this happens over and over and over again.
02:06:13.000 You know, this is one of the things that they were saying about Benedict, about the one who...
02:06:18.000 Right, the Pope before Francis.
02:06:20.000 Yeah.
02:06:20.000 Yeah.
02:06:21.000 He had actively done that.
02:06:22.000 He had actively moved all these people.
02:06:24.000 Yeah.
02:06:24.000 Yeah.
02:06:24.000 He was a part of that.
02:06:26.000 Ah, it's so bad.
02:06:27.000 It's so bad.
02:06:28.000 And it's such a shame.
02:06:30.000 What's that, Jamie?
02:06:30.000 It really is a shame.
02:06:31.000 I did not know this.
02:06:32.000 Married Catholic priests.
02:06:33.000 There are perhaps 120 in the U.S. already.
02:06:35.000 Here's how.
02:06:36.000 Whoa, is this a new thing?
02:06:37.000 Yeah.
02:06:38.000 The other article I found said there's about 200. Wow.
02:06:42.000 As of 1980, there was a rule change, or an adoption of a rule change that allowed...
02:06:48.000 Why does it say, does it say Eastern only?
02:06:50.000 Is that what it's saying?
02:06:51.000 That was something in the story, the video that was going.
02:06:53.000 Yeah, but I just kind of paused it there.
02:06:54.000 Why say Eastern Catholic?
02:06:56.000 Like East Coast only?
02:06:57.000 East Coast?
02:06:58.000 Like West Coast, Mexicans are not buying it.
02:07:01.000 West Side!
02:07:03.000 We got our own Catholic homes.
02:07:06.000 Brooklyn!
02:07:06.000 We're not buying your bullshit.
02:07:08.000 Brooklyn married in that house.
02:07:11.000 Huh.
02:07:12.000 120 Catholic priests married in the United States.
02:07:16.000 Wow.
02:07:17.000 That would be a great start.
02:07:21.000 Oh, so you have to be a priest already.
02:07:30.000 Right.
02:07:31.000 You're Episcopalian, and then you're allowed to have a wife and kids if you're Episcopalian, right?
02:07:36.000 Yeah, for sure.
02:07:37.000 Let them convert to Catholicism.
02:07:38.000 So, I mean, look at that right there.
02:07:42.000 Catholicism's the only one that doesn't allow them to have sex, right?
02:07:46.000 Yeah.
02:07:46.000 And it's the only one that's littered with kid fucking.
02:07:49.000 Right.
02:07:49.000 Right.
02:07:50.000 Come on.
02:07:51.000 Just cut the shit.
02:07:52.000 We were actually at mass and he was talking about, there was one thing from the gospel that was talking about being married, being with a woman.
02:08:01.000 And then he finishes the- Cheers, kind sir.
02:08:04.000 Cheers.
02:08:04.000 Happy holidays.
02:08:05.000 Happy holidays.
02:08:05.000 He finishes the sermon, the reading, then he goes into a sermon all about being with a woman, and this is a man that doesn't come close to that.
02:08:17.000 This is a man that has no experience.
02:08:20.000 It would be so much better for the church if he was a married man with children, and then he could really talk about being in a family.
02:08:26.000 Like, who are you?
02:08:27.000 You know nothing about what we're dealing with on a daily basis.
02:08:31.000 Yeah, I never went to the Catholic Church when I was an adult, but it would be curious to be there, to be like a husband and wife sitting there in this fucking church, listening to this dude who is supposed to be celibate, drone on about how you should live your life and what kind of relationship you should have.
02:08:48.000 Right.
02:08:48.000 Bitch, you're dressed like a fucking genie.
02:08:51.000 Who are you giving advice to?
02:08:53.000 You've got a giant scarf on.
02:08:54.000 Yeah, you're dressed like a wizard, son.
02:08:57.000 This is preposterous.
02:08:58.000 What are you doing?
02:08:59.000 What's that thing around your shoulders for?
02:09:01.000 Why do you dress like that?
02:09:02.000 Why are you all in silk?
02:09:03.000 Do you have underwear on?
02:09:04.000 It's really weird that we let people dress like that.
02:09:06.000 Because, like, if you didn't, if he just stood up there and had to be held accountable, like, if the volume of his words were all he had, like, if you just made all priests, and I mean all priests across all religions, If they all had to stand on a flat,
02:09:23.000 regular stage with nothing behind them, and they had to dress like a regular person like you're dressing right now.
02:09:31.000 And no pointy hat.
02:09:32.000 No pointy hat, no fucking giant, insane artwork behind you.
02:09:37.000 Nope, too confusing.
02:09:38.000 Yeah, not up on a pedestal.
02:09:40.000 All that stuff fucks people up.
02:09:42.000 You go there and you see the, like, you've been to Rome, right?
02:09:46.000 Yeah.
02:09:46.000 St. Peter's Basilica, you see that?
02:09:48.000 Yeah.
02:09:48.000 When you go in there, I mean, you almost can't believe that your eyes are working correctly.
02:09:52.000 Right, exactly.
02:09:53.000 You're almost like, this can't be something that someone actually made.
02:09:56.000 Yeah, this is insane.
02:09:57.000 With no machines.
02:09:58.000 Right, just their hands and thousands of people.
02:10:02.000 If you're in that thing, you're going to be so humbled.
02:10:05.000 And so they're going to get away with a lot more shit.
02:10:07.000 If you were in some weird conference room...
02:10:09.000 At the Holiday Inn.
02:10:12.000 Yeah, conference room at the Holiday Inn.
02:10:14.000 In a bad tie.
02:10:15.000 With little bullshit-ass cups of coffee.
02:10:17.000 You know how you get a coffee machine and they have little tiny bullshit-ass cups next to it?
02:10:22.000 Little white styrofoam cups.
02:10:23.000 With a handle on it, the paper handle that folds out.
02:10:26.000 And you're dressed in Joseph A. Bank.
02:10:28.000 The ones on the handle are not that bad because they have to be a certain size to have a handle.
02:10:32.000 It's the ones that are little white ones, little white styrofoam ones.
02:10:36.000 Those are bullshit.
02:10:37.000 Yeah, but they would put in the plastic.
02:10:39.000 The little triangle ones.
02:10:41.000 Nobody's going to buy your fucking connection to God if you're in that place.
02:10:45.000 Right.
02:10:45.000 You have to sell it.
02:10:47.000 They're not just going to buy it.
02:10:49.000 But if you're allowed to dress like a wizard, and you stand in front of a golden podium with a giant, huge sculpture of Jesus nailed to a cross behind you, and there's organ music playing, you know, I mean...
02:11:00.000 Huge!
02:11:02.000 That's your act.
02:11:04.000 That's a good act.
02:11:05.000 That's an act that's going to...
02:11:06.000 Look at that.
02:11:06.000 You know what, man?
02:11:07.000 They should make that shit illegal the same way they made advertising booze illegal.
02:11:12.000 Man...
02:11:14.000 But you know what?
02:11:15.000 Look at how pretty that is, though.
02:11:16.000 It's gorgeous.
02:11:17.000 So pretty.
02:11:18.000 Wouldn't it be better if it was just a bunch of belly dancers up there?
02:11:23.000 And dudes playing bongo drums and people passing around joints all in that place.
02:11:27.000 Just a big ol' cannabis-infused lovin'.
02:11:30.000 Wouldn't that be better than this bullshit?
02:11:32.000 These are all just grown adults.
02:11:33.000 If we can get all those grown adults just passing out weed, singing songs together.
02:11:38.000 Well, what was it in New York?
02:11:39.000 Was it the limelight?
02:11:40.000 It was a church that turned into a club?
02:11:43.000 Try to love one another.
02:11:47.000 Oh, thousands of people in the church singing together with that?
02:11:51.000 Come on, man.
02:11:52.000 That's all possible, too.
02:11:53.000 But you know what?
02:11:53.000 Those people that are in those pews, that look like a thousand people, right?
02:11:57.000 That's a big crowd.
02:11:58.000 Those people that are sitting there, they are kind of high.
02:12:01.000 They're checking their watch right now and go, When does this bullshit end?
02:12:05.000 The Giants are gonna start in an hour and a half.
02:12:08.000 He's fucking enough of this guy droning on.
02:12:10.000 He's drunk, Gladys.
02:12:12.000 He's fucking drunk.
02:12:13.000 There they go, asking us for money again.
02:12:15.000 With those gin blossoms all over the face.
02:12:17.000 He looks like W.C. Fields.
02:12:18.000 This fucking guy's just getting drunk.
02:12:20.000 I put shit in the basket.
02:12:21.000 Now they're coming out twice with the basket?
02:12:23.000 Screw this guy.
02:12:24.000 God is gonna hear you.
02:12:26.000 Stop it.
02:12:27.000 God is gonna hear you.
02:12:29.000 Timmy's gotta go in for his doctor's appointment tonight.
02:12:31.000 What if God's gonna hear you?
02:12:33.000 But is the value of them having a place to go on that Sunday, even though they hate it, important?
02:12:37.000 The Limelight is a gym now?
02:12:39.000 Yeah, the Limelight was a...
02:12:40.000 Yeah, I saw Fishbone at the Limelight.
02:12:42.000 Hold on.
02:12:42.000 So the Limelight, the dance club place, is now a fitness church?
02:12:47.000 Yeah, it was a church.
02:12:48.000 I can't tell which one.
02:12:49.000 It was a market, too.
02:12:50.000 It was a church, then it was a rock club.
02:12:52.000 So it doesn't last.
02:12:53.000 Then they started selling shit in there.
02:12:55.000 Yeah, they should sell that shit.
02:12:56.000 Imagine that's your house, Tom Papa.
02:12:57.000 That would be...
02:12:58.000 Inspire you to get your party rolling.
02:13:00.000 Live in a church?
02:13:01.000 It's a gym now?
02:13:03.000 Dude, I'd work out in that church all day.
02:13:06.000 Wouldn't you?
02:13:06.000 Yeah.
02:13:07.000 That would be my spot.
02:13:08.000 Even if I had a gym at my house, I would definitely go to that gym.
02:13:11.000 Absolutely.
02:13:11.000 Just to feel the juice.
02:13:13.000 I tell people all the time, I like working out at my studio, but I like going to places too.
02:13:21.000 Because when you go to a place, there's a certain amount of juice.
02:13:25.000 You're in a new spot.
02:13:27.000 It's true.
02:13:28.000 A bunch of people around you that you don't know.
02:13:29.000 Yeah, you're up, you're out.
02:13:31.000 And it's also, as a comic, I think social interaction is one of the least respected ingredients to our weird...
02:13:40.000 Sort of stew of things that come together and make a bit.
02:13:44.000 You've got to fill the well with those experiences.
02:13:46.000 Yeah, you've got to talk to people.
02:13:48.000 It's like reading or just being out in the world.
02:13:50.000 It's important.
02:13:51.000 Yeah, it's just like all those things.
02:13:54.000 Reading is one thing you need to do.
02:13:56.000 But I think interacting with people is just goddamn gigantic.
02:13:59.000 So important.
02:14:00.000 I do this...
02:14:01.000 I do a monologue each week on Out in America on Live From Here, which is the new Prairie Home Companion.
02:14:09.000 And...
02:14:09.000 Are you allowed to say that?
02:14:10.000 Yeah.
02:14:11.000 It's the new Prairie Home.
02:14:13.000 Did anybody else call you that, or did you decide to call yourself that?
02:14:17.000 What?
02:14:17.000 The new Prairie Home Companion.
02:14:19.000 It was Prairie Home.
02:14:20.000 So you're actually doing this thing?
02:14:22.000 When I first got hired, it was Prairie Home.
02:14:24.000 And then they changed it when Garrison Keillor got in trouble.
02:14:27.000 He got in a kerfuffle?
02:14:27.000 And now it's called Live From Here.
02:14:28.000 He had a kerfuffle.
02:14:29.000 I was confused.
02:14:30.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:14:31.000 And I do a monologue each week called Out in America.
02:14:35.000 How long have you been doing this?
02:14:37.000 About a year.
02:14:37.000 You don't tell me?
02:14:39.000 It's NPR. I figured you would know.
02:14:44.000 All things considered, Terry Gross.
02:14:46.000 I follow all the shit you do.
02:14:48.000 I didn't know.
02:14:49.000 How do you follow all the shit I do?
02:14:50.000 I'm only kidding.
02:14:51.000 That's weird.
02:14:53.000 But my point is, I do this monologue called Out in America, and it's me...
02:14:57.000 Look at you.
02:14:58.000 Sexy.
02:14:58.000 It's me...
02:14:59.000 Glasses.
02:15:00.000 Shining a light on all the good people in America, right?
02:15:02.000 I do it every week on NPR. Yeah.
02:15:04.000 Wear that suit like you own it.
02:15:05.000 Look at you.
02:15:06.000 But the reason I bring it up is not to plug it, but to say it made me, when I'm out on the road, talk to people.
02:15:14.000 I would get in the car and throw my headphones on.
02:15:18.000 I wouldn't talk to people on flights.
02:15:19.000 I didn't talk to the person driving, stay in my room, do my shit as a comic.
02:15:24.000 Just go and you're isolated.
02:15:26.000 And because I have to write this monologue each week, I need inspiration.
02:15:29.000 I really want to shine a light on the good people out in the country.
02:15:33.000 I started talking to everyone.
02:15:35.000 I don't take my headphones out.
02:15:37.000 I talk to the driver.
02:15:38.000 I talk to the people next to me if they want to talk.
02:15:40.000 And it is – talk about filling the well for your comedic toolbox.
02:15:47.000 It's the greatest thing in the world.
02:15:49.000 There's billions of people.
02:15:51.000 They all are unique.
02:15:52.000 They all have a story to tell.
02:15:54.000 It's foolish as a comedian not to talk to these people.
02:15:58.000 Let's be harsh here.
02:15:59.000 They don't all.
02:16:00.000 Have a story to tell.
02:16:01.000 Some of them, they might have a story to tell, but you don't want to hear it.
02:16:04.000 Well, some are bad stories.
02:16:06.000 Some are disgusting.
02:16:06.000 Boring-ass fucking story.
02:16:09.000 You can't tell people.
02:16:10.000 Not all of them end up in the monologue.
02:16:11.000 Everyone has a story.
02:16:12.000 God damn it.
02:16:13.000 You're going to get a lot of stories.
02:16:14.000 They're going to be coming your way.
02:16:16.000 They do, though.
02:16:16.000 I mean, honestly, even like the biggest slug you'll find.
02:16:20.000 You talk to them about their family, about their childhood, about where they grew up.
02:16:24.000 There is a story there.
02:16:26.000 Here's a way to look at it.
02:16:27.000 You take the biggest fucking loser that ever existed on planet Earth, and if you discover him on Mars, it's the biggest story in human history.
02:16:36.000 Yeah.
02:16:39.000 Holy cow!
02:16:40.000 It's true.
02:16:41.000 Barney!
02:16:42.000 Barney!
02:16:43.000 If you find some guy wearing a donkey mask, jerking off with a bathrobe on, on Mars, it would be like the most important thing that's ever happened.
02:16:49.000 Yeah, it's on the CNN on Mars.
02:16:51.000 People would freak the fuck out.
02:16:51.000 They'd be like, this can't be real.
02:16:53.000 I can't believe it.
02:16:54.000 Hey, come here, get closer, I'll show you I'm real.
02:16:57.000 Have you seen it?
02:16:58.000 Old man with a donkey mask on, beaten off.
02:17:02.000 But if you found an old man with a donkey mask beaten off in Venice, I'm still impressed.
02:17:10.000 A donkey mask?
02:17:11.000 If I said, Tom Papa, I want you to bet your life savings, do you say yes or no, there is currently a man with a donkey mask on, wearing a bathrobe, jerking off in Venice?
02:17:24.000 Yeah.
02:17:25.000 You might want to lean yes.
02:17:27.000 I mean, you might...
02:17:27.000 If they're bringing it to you, I'd be super suspicious.
02:17:30.000 I'd be like, that's your question?
02:17:32.000 It's definitely a favorite, not an underdog on that.
02:17:34.000 My question is, do you think that it ever happened?
02:17:38.000 Yes.
02:17:39.000 Right.
02:17:40.000 Everything you can think of has happened.
02:17:41.000 I'm 100% confident that someone has jerked off with a donkey mask on.
02:17:45.000 100%.
02:17:45.000 Like a hotel bathrobe.
02:17:47.000 Especially in Venice.
02:17:48.000 It's all about masks.
02:17:49.000 In Venice.
02:17:50.000 I'm 100% confident that I can say historically...
02:17:53.000 Yes.
02:17:53.000 Everything you can think of has happened.
02:17:55.000 Venice Beach, not Venice, Italy, right?
02:17:56.000 Venice Beach.
02:17:57.000 Right, right, right.
02:17:58.000 No, Venice Beach.
02:17:59.000 Oh, Venice Beach.
02:18:00.000 We never know, man.
02:18:00.000 I thought you were talking Italy with all the...
02:18:02.000 Right?
02:18:02.000 With all the Catholic stuff.
02:18:03.000 Yeah.
02:18:04.000 Yeah.
02:18:05.000 And plus the water's getting high and people panic.
02:18:08.000 Can I ask you guys a question?
02:18:10.000 Sure.
02:18:13.000 Back to way in the beginning of the podcast when I was talking about wine and how I'm trying to learn about it and stuff.
02:18:18.000 The one thing I don't know about wine is when I do drink it, I never feel that drunk.
02:18:23.000 And we've had a bottle and a half now.
02:18:25.000 Do I seem drunk?
02:18:27.000 Yeah, you seem pretty fucked up.
02:18:28.000 Don't tell me anything you don't want to tell me.
02:18:32.000 Do I seem that different from before?
02:18:34.000 I mean, you're also fucked up too, but...
02:18:36.000 No, you seem fine.
02:18:37.000 Yeah?
02:18:38.000 Yeah.
02:18:39.000 Because I always get home and I'm like, I have to say I kept my shit together pretty good.
02:18:44.000 And then I wake up the next morning like, no, I shouldn't have done that.
02:18:48.000 Well, sometimes you'll hear yourself like on a podcast if you get really lit.
02:18:51.000 Like when we did that Sober October podcast, I saw one of the clips.
02:18:55.000 I didn't realize how drunk we were until I saw the clip.
02:18:57.000 I was like, oh my God, we were blasted.
02:19:00.000 We were in orbit.
02:19:00.000 Oh, really?
02:19:02.000 That's funny.
02:19:02.000 We were in orbit.
02:19:03.000 I was listening to myself talk.
02:19:04.000 I was like, you're so hammered.
02:19:06.000 That's so stupid.
02:19:07.000 Because I want to be like a gentleman that can drink and hold his alcohol and be like...
02:19:11.000 Sir, if that is your goal, you have achieved it.
02:19:13.000 Cheers.
02:19:14.000 Cheers.
02:19:14.000 Happy holidays.
02:19:15.000 You're certainly a gentleman.
02:19:16.000 Because you don't seem...
02:19:17.000 And you did more than I did.
02:19:20.000 Did I really?
02:19:21.000 And you seem exactly the same as when we started.
02:19:23.000 I think you're projecting.
02:19:24.000 There was one point after you smoked a lot, you were going like that.
02:19:27.000 Oh, the weed.
02:19:27.000 That's what I did more than you.
02:19:29.000 I could tell it was a bit of a body high.
02:19:30.000 Well, that weed is strong as fuck.
02:19:35.000 I think there's benefit to it.
02:19:38.000 I don't think you should do everything all the time, but I think there's benefit.
02:19:41.000 I don't think you should exercise all the time either.
02:19:44.000 I'll tell you this.
02:19:45.000 When I was flying back from New York yesterday and knew we had this, when I was on the flight, I was thinking, it would be so nice to bring a bottle of wine, just chill with the guys, and that would be so happy.
02:19:56.000 And now that we're in that moment?
02:19:57.000 Yes.
02:19:58.000 So happy.
02:19:59.000 Me too.
02:19:59.000 So happy.
02:20:01.000 It's a good place.
02:20:02.000 I'm worried about Jamie's hips.
02:20:04.000 Jamie's hips?
02:20:05.000 Still bugging you?
02:20:05.000 No, the Sew Right actually helped a lot.
02:20:08.000 Really?
02:20:08.000 Just laying on it and breathing and taking time.
02:20:11.000 Yeah, you know, I have not used that yet.
02:20:12.000 I bought two of them.
02:20:13.000 I bought one for the house and one for the gym.
02:20:15.000 But it's called a Sew Right, right?
02:20:18.000 For your so-ass muscle.
02:20:20.000 So you lay on it and have it, like, massage your inner...
02:20:23.000 Gut area.
02:20:24.000 It works?
02:20:25.000 Well, apparently it's like a muscle that gets knotted up on people.
02:20:29.000 I definitely had it get knotted up on me when I was running a little too often.
02:20:34.000 I was running like four or five days a week.
02:20:37.000 It was starting to knot up.
02:20:39.000 Yeah.
02:20:39.000 That's it.
02:20:41.000 It's like a foam roller, but if you could have an elbow on that foam roller.
02:20:47.000 And you lay on it on your back.
02:20:49.000 You can put a couple different spots, too.
02:20:51.000 They have a spot on your shoulders and the front, but I don't know, whatever, my pelvis area.
02:20:55.000 Yeah, that looks beastly.
02:20:56.000 But it helped, right?
02:20:57.000 You feel good.
02:21:00.000 It's weird.
02:21:01.000 The human body's all manipulable.
02:21:03.000 It's malleable.
02:21:04.000 That's why yoga's so good.
02:21:05.000 Oh yeah.
02:21:06.000 Stretching in general.
02:21:07.000 Like all that shit.
02:21:08.000 So good.
02:21:09.000 But it's just so weird how deep tissue massage and all that stuff works.
02:21:13.000 And how your body's like pliable.
02:21:16.000 Yeah.
02:21:16.000 Break stuff loose.
02:21:18.000 Yeah.
02:21:18.000 It's weird.
02:21:19.000 Loosen things up.
02:21:19.000 And someone who's really good at it, if you get a gal who knows how to use them elbows, they need to fucking get in there and fuck you up, man.
02:21:27.000 Woo!
02:21:28.000 I started running with my dog.
02:21:30.000 With my lab.
02:21:31.000 Yeah.
02:21:32.000 But I run on the road and on the sidewalk.
02:21:34.000 Right.
02:21:35.000 Do you feel like...
02:21:36.000 I feel guilty sometimes that it's got its little paws out, just running on the road.
02:21:44.000 Is it hot?
02:21:45.000 Are you worried about?
02:21:46.000 Like the hurt?
02:21:46.000 No, it's the hardness of it.
02:21:49.000 Like streets?
02:21:51.000 Maybe.
02:21:51.000 I never thought about that.
02:21:52.000 She doesn't seem unhappy.
02:21:53.000 She seems like she's having a blast.
02:21:54.000 Well, it's definitely not as good as running in the dirt.
02:21:57.000 It's just not.
02:21:57.000 I mean, probably for us either.
02:21:59.000 No, it's definitely not.
02:22:00.000 It's definitely not.
02:22:01.000 It's weird.
02:22:02.000 There's not as much give.
02:22:04.000 Whenever I see people running in the cities, I go, I get it.
02:22:07.000 You want to exercise.
02:22:08.000 You decided to make this whole world your gym.
02:22:12.000 That's a weird thing.
02:22:13.000 I saw some dude on Wilshire the other day.
02:22:15.000 He was crossing Wilshire.
02:22:16.000 Just no shirt on, t-shirt, air buds, just one of those dudes is doing this at the fucking...
02:22:23.000 Taking his pulse?
02:22:24.000 Yeah, and he just runs across as soon as the light turns green.
02:22:28.000 He's just using the street...
02:22:30.000 This is like 4.30 in the afternoon to rush hour, and he's using this place as his gym.
02:22:35.000 I know.
02:22:36.000 That's why I like running, though.
02:22:37.000 That's fucking weird.
02:22:38.000 That's why I like running, because as soon as you go out, you're doing it.
02:22:40.000 And he had a nice body too.
02:22:42.000 He wanted to let bitches know.
02:22:44.000 He did.
02:22:45.000 He was slim and fit.
02:22:46.000 I don't get the...
02:22:47.000 That's what it was about probably more than anything.
02:22:49.000 Totally.
02:22:49.000 Through Wilshire?
02:22:50.000 A little peacock move.
02:22:51.000 Yeah.
02:22:51.000 No shirt on.
02:22:54.000 Peacocking.
02:22:55.000 Just running around.
02:22:56.000 Do you do yoga with your shirt off or on?
02:22:58.000 That's right.
02:22:59.000 Off, bitch.
02:23:00.000 Off?
02:23:00.000 Off.
02:23:01.000 With all the gals there?
02:23:02.000 They don't give a fuck, dude.
02:23:04.000 They're suffering.
02:23:05.000 Everyone's suffering.
02:23:06.000 Yeah.
02:23:07.000 Everyone's suffering.
02:23:07.000 I always keep my shirt on because I always feel like, as a man, I'm not supposed to be there, so it should just make it less conspicuous.
02:23:13.000 You feel like, as a man, you're not supposed to be there?
02:23:14.000 Even after the remarks you heard by Bikram, I'm confused.
02:23:20.000 Well, the smart man is supposed to be there.
02:23:22.000 One drop of your sperm.
02:23:25.000 They don't care, man.
02:23:26.000 Look, it's just too fucking hot.
02:23:28.000 It's too hot.
02:23:29.000 You don't want to have a shirt on.
02:23:30.000 You have that wet, fucking hot thing smothering you.
02:23:34.000 I don't do the big one.
02:23:35.000 I do the regular.
02:23:36.000 I don't do the hot, hot one.
02:23:38.000 I want to see you in a jog bra, bro.
02:23:41.000 Why can't a man wear something that just like a sweatband for your tits?
02:23:47.000 Yeah.
02:23:48.000 Cover it.
02:23:51.000 Titsweats.
02:23:52.000 Call it titsweats.
02:23:52.000 You know what I mean?
02:23:53.000 I mean, I'm not saying I want a bra.
02:23:57.000 Why is it okay?
02:23:58.000 It's not okay for a guy to wear a bracelet.
02:24:00.000 Well, it kind of is.
02:24:01.000 Some bracelets.
02:24:02.000 Yeah.
02:24:02.000 But it's okay for you to wear one of them tennis wrist things.
02:24:05.000 Yeah.
02:24:06.000 Like a real band?
02:24:08.000 Yeah, those headbands for your wrists.
02:24:09.000 Those wrist pants.
02:24:10.000 Those ones, red, white, and blue.
02:24:12.000 Remember those?
02:24:13.000 Yeah.
02:24:13.000 Dude, I used to wear those when I was a kid.
02:24:14.000 They would match the one on your head.
02:24:15.000 I thought I was the coolest fucking dude on earth.
02:24:17.000 I had those wristbands with red, white, and blue on them.
02:24:20.000 Like, that's right.
02:24:21.000 Tube socks pull high, up to the knee.
02:24:24.000 Fuck yeah, all the way up.
02:24:25.000 Yeah.
02:24:26.000 What were those things called?
02:24:27.000 What did you call those?
02:24:28.000 Wristbands.
02:24:29.000 Like tennis wristbands?
02:24:30.000 Yeah, the headband and the wristband.
02:24:31.000 And they'd match.
02:24:32.000 Yeah, I probably had a headband, too.
02:24:34.000 I had one that was pretty badass.
02:24:36.000 You know what was a big...
02:24:38.000 It wasn't two, though.
02:24:38.000 You just go the one.
02:24:39.000 You just go on the left.
02:24:40.000 That was the cool move.
02:24:41.000 There was a time...
02:24:42.000 I don't remember what the time was, but there was a time when...
02:24:44.000 That's it right there.
02:24:46.000 Sock tower.
02:24:47.000 What does it say?
02:24:48.000 Yeah, red, white, and blue, baby.
02:24:49.000 Sock tower.
02:24:50.000 Two pieces large.
02:24:51.000 That's just the company selling it, I think.
02:24:52.000 Yo, son.
02:24:53.000 We're going to order those as soon as we get off the show.
02:24:55.000 I'm going to wear...
02:24:56.000 Next time Tom Pop and I do a podcast, I'm wearing them red, white, and blue wristbands.
02:25:01.000 Kids.
02:25:01.000 That'd be awesome.
02:25:02.000 I literally had that.
02:25:04.000 Fresh...
02:25:05.000 Very fresh.
02:25:06.000 It felt cool.
02:25:06.000 Yeah.
02:25:07.000 It felt real cool.
02:25:09.000 Why aren't those popular anymore?
02:25:11.000 What was I going to say, though?
02:25:13.000 I was going to say something.
02:25:16.000 Wristband.
02:25:16.000 Oh, goddammit.
02:25:18.000 Son of a bitch.
02:25:20.000 Marijuana combination.
02:25:20.000 What?
02:25:21.000 Being allowed to wear them.
02:25:22.000 Happened for a guy.
02:25:24.000 Working out.
02:25:25.000 Sweat.
02:25:25.000 Boobs.
02:25:27.000 Throwing a lot of information my way.
02:25:28.000 These are all words that you were saying.
02:25:29.000 Yeah.
02:25:31.000 Why is it okay for a man to walk around with no shirt on and women can't?
02:25:34.000 Was that what you were gonna say?
02:25:35.000 Well, that's obvious.
02:25:37.000 Women should be able to.
02:25:39.000 They definitely can.
02:25:41.000 I've talked about this before, I think.
02:25:43.000 I said I wouldn't recommend it to a friend.
02:25:46.000 I'd be like, don't go out there with your tits hanging out.
02:25:50.000 If a friend tried to ask me if they think they should exercise that right to freedom, I'd be like, I don't want to get harassed.
02:25:59.000 You don't want to get harassed.
02:26:00.000 Would you wear bikini underwear and walk through a gay neighborhood?
02:26:05.000 On Saturday night at 10.30pm when the ecstasy just kicked in.
02:26:12.000 You're a piece of meat.
02:26:14.000 How good do you think you'd feel walking through a super-duper gay neighborhood with little bikini briefs on?
02:26:22.000 Yeah.
02:26:23.000 Across in San Vicente and Santa Monica.
02:26:25.000 For whatever reason, you obviously shave your chest.
02:26:27.000 It's funny.
02:26:28.000 Maybe your chest is smooth as baby butt, but your back has hair on it.
02:26:32.000 It's funny because you're setting it up as a predatory kind of scenario, but all I'm thinking is, would they think I was okay?
02:26:38.000 Would they like me?
02:26:39.000 Would they like me?
02:26:40.000 I think they'd hit on me?
02:26:42.000 Would you be pumped or disgusted?
02:26:43.000 No, you'd be...
02:26:44.000 You don't want the hassle.
02:26:45.000 That's what I tell my...
02:26:47.000 Yeah, I mean...
02:26:48.000 I understand that there's like a cool movement now and it's a time where women should be able to go out there and Dress the way you want to dress.
02:26:57.000 It's not their problem.
02:26:58.000 It's the guy's problem.
02:26:59.000 Let's correct the guys rather than us.
02:27:00.000 I love that.
02:27:02.000 But there's a lot of guys that haven't been corrected yet who are going to hassle you and follow you in the parking lot.
02:27:08.000 Yeah.
02:27:08.000 That's the problem.
02:27:10.000 Those guys aren't woke.
02:27:11.000 Once everyone's all woke, it'll be great.
02:27:13.000 Woke is a dangerous word to use.
02:27:14.000 I feel like people are going to mock it in the future.
02:27:17.000 Woke?
02:27:17.000 Woke.
02:27:18.000 Yeah.
02:27:18.000 I feel like using woke now, like unironically, is super slippery.
02:27:22.000 I see a trap coming.
02:27:24.000 You do?
02:27:24.000 The jujitsu practitioner in me is like, I don't like this move.
02:27:28.000 I know where this leads.
02:27:31.000 You're totally right.
02:27:32.000 This is how I feel.
02:27:33.000 I see that woke thing, I'm like, what are you woke?
02:27:35.000 What the fuck does that even mean?
02:27:37.000 You woke up?
02:27:38.000 You woke up?
02:27:39.000 What are you, 12?
02:27:40.000 Well, it comes from my 16-year-old, so yeah.
02:27:43.000 Yeah, these kids today.
02:27:45.000 But, what does woke mean?
02:27:46.000 It means you're Rain is open.
02:27:48.000 You're open to stuff.
02:27:49.000 The problem is there's no real quantification.
02:27:53.000 There's no real...
02:27:54.000 There's no test you take to show that if you're woke.
02:27:58.000 Right?
02:27:59.000 Like, if you want to be a mathematician, you have to fucking show that you know how to do math.
02:28:04.000 The professors, they check your work.
02:28:06.000 Like, you get through, like, yes, congratulations, Tom Papa.
02:28:09.000 Yes.
02:28:09.000 You are a mathematician.
02:28:11.000 You have a PhD in mathematics.
02:28:13.000 It says so right here on the paper.
02:28:14.000 And you're like, God damn it, I'm going to put that shit on my wall so you understand.
02:28:17.000 I know how this stuff works.
02:28:19.000 Yeah.
02:28:20.000 But wokeness?
02:28:21.000 Yeah.
02:28:21.000 Anybody can claim to be a master of wokeness.
02:28:23.000 It's like Kung Fu without fighting.
02:28:25.000 It's very dangerous.
02:28:27.000 No one's defined what's woke and what's preposterous.
02:28:30.000 No one's defined what's just not racist and not sexist and not homophobic, but open-minded and aware of the failings and the misgivings of all sides, all of us, and with no bias.
02:28:42.000 Right.
02:28:42.000 Is that woke?
02:28:42.000 Because it doesn't seem like it is.
02:28:43.000 Isn't that woke?
02:28:44.000 I don't know.
02:28:45.000 I don't think so.
02:28:45.000 I think you just described what I thought it was.
02:28:47.000 I would like that, but too many people could jump in.
02:28:49.000 There's no real clear understanding of what makes and constitutes someone being woke.
02:28:56.000 Yeah, how many of those boxes do you have to check?
02:28:59.000 Where does it stop?
02:29:00.000 Tom Papa had a woke academy, and you took these people through.
02:29:04.000 It would just be, do you like bread or not like bread?
02:29:07.000 Yeah.
02:29:07.000 Claiming wokeness is super slippery.
02:29:10.000 What's this, Jamie?
02:29:12.000 1962 New York Times Magazine article about being woke.
02:29:15.000 Whoa!
02:29:15.000 This is crazy!
02:29:17.000 If you're woke, you dig it.
02:29:19.000 Look, if you're woke, you dig it.
02:29:21.000 That's the perfect definition right there.
02:29:23.000 If you're woke, you dig it.
02:29:25.000 That is insane.
02:29:26.000 That was my fox, man, and you were copying my taste.
02:29:30.000 And grit, don't jump salty on me.
02:29:34.000 Whoa, look how they talked back then.
02:29:36.000 They were trying to talk people into talking in a way that made them seem more interesting.
02:29:42.000 I'm going to say it the way I would say it if I lived back then.
02:29:45.000 Make it bigger so I can see it.
02:29:47.000 You be the guy on the left.
02:29:49.000 No, scroll so we can read what they were saying.
02:29:52.000 His comments.
02:29:53.000 What he's saying up top.
02:29:55.000 That was my fox, man.
02:29:59.000 And you were copying my taste and grit.
02:30:01.000 And you were copying my taste and grit.
02:30:02.000 So how would you say that now?
02:30:05.000 Um...
02:30:05.000 That was my fox, man.
02:30:07.000 Maybe it's girl.
02:30:08.000 And you were copying my taste and grit.
02:30:09.000 Of course it's girl.
02:30:09.000 That's my girl!
02:30:10.000 That's what he's saying.
02:30:13.000 No, that's what they said.
02:30:14.000 Oh, what words would you use today?
02:30:16.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:30:16.000 Hey, dude.
02:30:17.000 The fuck are you doing with my girlfriend, dickhead?
02:30:21.000 And he said, don't jump salty on me.
02:30:23.000 I would say, hey, we're cool.
02:30:26.000 No worries.
02:30:27.000 No worries.
02:30:28.000 Stop being such a bitch.
02:30:30.000 It's all good.
02:30:30.000 It's all good.
02:30:31.000 Yeah, and then it would be like, what?
02:30:33.000 Someone's a bitch?
02:30:35.000 And then, next thing you know, people would be hitting each other.
02:30:38.000 That's the darkness in all men.
02:30:40.000 Who are these two gentlemen to the right and to the left?
02:30:42.000 It says Noah Webster.
02:30:43.000 I think that might be like Webster's Dictionary.
02:30:45.000 And who's the other guy?
02:30:46.000 Peter what?
02:30:47.000 I can't see.
02:30:49.000 It looks a little squirrely.
02:30:52.000 The letters are all blurred, right?
02:30:54.000 I love that.
02:30:55.000 But I love that, if you're woke, you dig it.
02:30:58.000 Yeah, if you're woke, you dig it.
02:31:00.000 That sums it up, man.
02:31:02.000 If you're woke, you dig it.
02:31:04.000 How'd you find this, Jamie?
02:31:05.000 Go back to that.
02:31:06.000 I typed in, it's like, know your meme.
02:31:09.000 Oh, wow.
02:31:10.000 So the meme of the word woke.
02:31:12.000 Yeah.
02:31:12.000 Wow.
02:31:13.000 Stay woke.
02:31:13.000 Look at that little image, though.
02:31:15.000 Scroll back up so we can see that again.
02:31:16.000 That's so strange.
02:31:18.000 Like, imagine if that was contemporary.
02:31:20.000 Yeah.
02:31:20.000 Like, if that was your word.
02:31:21.000 Like, imagine if hipsters all of a sudden started wearing tails to their jackets.
02:31:25.000 Yeah.
02:31:27.000 Have they just decided this is the next level?
02:31:30.000 We're going to wear bow ties and those tails.
02:31:32.000 It wouldn't be surprising because that's all about just I'm doing what you guys don't do.
02:31:37.000 So I'm going tails.
02:31:38.000 What a weird look though.
02:31:40.000 It is.
02:31:40.000 It is so weird.
02:31:42.000 That's a look that like, okay, so like the guy in the center with the hat on.
02:31:46.000 Those two guys, both the guys in the center.
02:31:48.000 Those guys will fly today.
02:31:50.000 Oh, totally.
02:31:50.000 The guy on the left that looks like he's dressed like he's...
02:31:53.000 That looks like me on the road.
02:31:55.000 Yeah.
02:31:55.000 Yeah, I mean, but he looks like he's in a Quentin Tarantino movie or something, right?
02:31:59.000 Looks like he's a reservoir dog.
02:32:01.000 That's totally normal, right?
02:32:02.000 He's in the Matrix.
02:32:03.000 Yeah, black suit, tie, fedora.
02:32:05.000 That guy could go to any restaurant, anywhere, and no one would even bat an eye.
02:32:09.000 They'd go, oh, sir, can I help you?
02:32:11.000 Boom.
02:32:11.000 Walk right in.
02:32:12.000 Go back to that image.
02:32:13.000 The guy next to him.
02:32:15.000 But those two guys on the ends, like, what in the fuck are they?
02:32:18.000 He's got a coat with tails.
02:32:20.000 Yeah.
02:32:21.000 And those pants that are like flat across your crotch where it looks like you have no privates.
02:32:26.000 Here's a good way to look at it.
02:32:27.000 Imagine if you're dating a gal and her parents are going to come over.
02:32:30.000 And you're like, you're really going to love my dad.
02:32:32.000 He's an amazing guy.
02:32:34.000 He's real old school.
02:32:38.000 Dad comes over dressed like that with coattails.
02:32:41.000 Yeah.
02:32:41.000 And you start feeling like you're in that movie Get Out.
02:32:45.000 He's got a handlebar mustache.
02:32:47.000 He's got tails.
02:32:48.000 Yeah.
02:32:48.000 Weird pants with the going to funny shoes.
02:32:51.000 Did you see Get Out?
02:32:52.000 Yeah.
02:32:52.000 I finally watched it during Sober October.
02:32:54.000 Oh, you did?
02:32:55.000 It was fucking fantastic.
02:32:56.000 Yeah.
02:32:57.000 But that's what you would be thinking.
02:32:58.000 If that guy was dressed like that, that the daughter was going to lead you to something and you have to run for your life.
02:33:03.000 Yeah.
02:33:04.000 But it is weird how that suit has lasted a long time.
02:33:10.000 Well, this was 1960, so I'm assuming that it was mocking the style of old.
02:33:15.000 So by the time 1960 rolled around, the guys in the middle were dressed contemporary.
02:33:19.000 But the guys in the end, they're making fun of people the way they used to dress, kind of in a way.
02:33:23.000 Or at least that's what represents those people.
02:33:26.000 Yeah, it just defines their time.
02:33:28.000 That guy was probably around the 1800s.
02:33:30.000 So whoever those other guys are...
02:33:33.000 Do you know who those guys are?
02:33:35.000 I believe Noah Webster.
02:33:37.000 From the Webster Dictionary.
02:33:38.000 That's why he's got the pen and he's scratching his head as that guy's putting out his slang.
02:33:42.000 So his slang is making Webster go, what the fuck?
02:33:46.000 That's not how you really say it.
02:33:48.000 So it'd be like the Urban Dictionary.
02:33:50.000 Jamie and I sometimes get confused.
02:33:52.000 We have to pull up the Urban Dictionary and find out what the real word of a word means.
02:33:56.000 So let's pull up woke as it's represented today.
02:34:01.000 You know?
02:34:02.000 Woke.
02:34:03.000 No disrespect, no cultural appropriation intended.
02:34:08.000 The fact that it was invented actually in the 60s is really weird.
02:34:11.000 It's just making a comeback.
02:34:12.000 I was just looking around when I typed in what is woke to see if there's anything interesting.
02:34:15.000 If you dig it, you woke.
02:34:17.000 What does it say?
02:34:18.000 Aware, knowledgeable about your community and the world, with the willingness to access and critique systems of oppression.
02:34:27.000 The last part is a little squirrely.
02:34:29.000 Yeah, exactly.
02:34:30.000 Yes, I mean, for sure, if it really is a system of oppression.
02:34:34.000 But how do we decide what's a system of oppression and what is weird human behavior that represents the way men and women interact with each other on a grand scale?
02:34:48.000 I mean, that's just like...
02:34:51.000 There are some legitimate systems of oppression, right?
02:34:54.000 Yeah, for real.
02:34:55.000 It's like, figure out which one it is.
02:34:57.000 Yeah.
02:34:59.000 But putting that in, like, that's what woke is?
02:35:02.000 How do you define what the systems of oppression...
02:35:06.000 Like, where does the line get drawn, right?
02:35:09.000 Is the line...
02:35:13.000 Why do women have certain jobs?
02:35:15.000 Why do men have certain jobs?
02:35:16.000 How much of that is because of influence?
02:35:19.000 How much of that is because of their choices?
02:35:20.000 How much of that is just because of natural proclivities towards certain things?
02:35:25.000 Well, then you're talking about people that are coming after the hierarchy.
02:35:30.000 And if they're coming after the hierarchy, who's to say that those people aren't part of the problem?
02:35:35.000 I love Jordan Peterson, the way he's just like, hammers, just, well then what are you saying?
02:35:40.000 Then who are you?
02:35:43.000 You're buying into the hierarchy!
02:35:45.000 I just love like the exasperation in his voice.
02:35:49.000 No, but it's true.
02:35:50.000 It's like then...
02:35:50.000 It is true.
02:35:51.000 That woke definition was like, oh, I'm with you.
02:35:53.000 This is all about being nice and kind.
02:35:55.000 And then at the end, it's about attacking.
02:35:57.000 Right.
02:35:57.000 Well, here's the crazy thing is the end part about attacking is where it gets weird because...
02:36:02.000 Jordan Peterson is a guy who gets regularly attacked and misrepresented.
02:36:07.000 Especially in terms of that he's somehow or another a racist because some racists like him.
02:36:12.000 I've heard that argument.
02:36:13.000 It's a crazy argument.
02:36:13.000 It doesn't make any sense.
02:36:14.000 He's not a racist by any stretch of the imagination.
02:36:16.000 He believes in individuals.
02:36:19.000 He's more Ayn Rand than anything.
02:36:22.000 I never say that right.
02:36:23.000 I know her name's Ayn Rand, but I would say Ayn Rand.
02:36:26.000 Really?
02:36:27.000 I have a natural instinct to fuck it up.
02:36:30.000 But it really is like his thing is...
02:36:32.000 It's like the power of the individual and responsibility in doing your thing.
02:36:35.000 Yes.
02:36:36.000 And he's under attack, of course, during this time.
02:36:38.000 Of course, he's under attack.
02:36:39.000 But he's also under celebration.
02:36:42.000 Yeah.
02:36:42.000 He's under...
02:36:43.000 I mean, he's been celebrated as well as attack, but much more celebrated.
02:36:46.000 He's under celebration more than he's under attack.
02:36:48.000 It's nice to hear that viewpoint articulated in such a clear, concise way.
02:36:54.000 He's a genuine sweetheart of a guy, too.
02:36:56.000 I mean, I think if people knew him, I think, you know, part of the thing is...
02:37:00.000 Some of his views are very powerful and polarizing to some folks who have a specific idea of how things are and what things should be and what represents transphobia, what represents sexism.
02:37:14.000 These are all fascinating discussions as long as everybody's just being rational and being honest about it.
02:37:21.000 Yeah.
02:37:21.000 It's good.
02:37:22.000 It's moving.
02:37:23.000 Yeah.
02:37:23.000 It's moving the discussion forward.
02:37:25.000 It's like you should hear all sides and you should hear – I mean what he's saying is in a lot of ways is like very true and very real and it's like – But the presentation of it in these times, it's like – he's very brave because he knows that anything he says is going to be a shitstorm in response.
02:37:44.000 Well, he's very brave in that respect, but he's also very brave in that he's done a tremendous amount of research on all these different subjects he's talking about.
02:37:53.000 And when he talks about something from a scientific perspective, he's not talking about it because it aligns with his beliefs.
02:37:59.000 And he will, in fact, highlight things that don't align with his beliefs and show that he has a hole in some of his thinking.
02:38:05.000 He'll pause in mid-sentence and go, well, I guess I'm wrong then.
02:38:09.000 He'll say things like that.
02:38:10.000 He has 100% intellectual honesty.
02:38:14.000 He's just – he's not scared to take on this system of the way people think and behave.
02:38:22.000 And this system works both for really progressive, open-minded people that support most of the things that you and I probably support.
02:38:31.000 And it also – the system is also in place for people that have more stringent, conservative viewpoints.
02:38:37.000 And we have to look at everybody honestly.
02:38:39.000 If you want to debate whether someone's opinions are one thing or the other – Absolutely.
02:38:44.000 I'm with you, 100%.
02:38:45.000 The problem is when you start calling someone a racist, and calling someone a racist because you think that racists like him, or calling someone a sexist because you think that sexists like him, or because he says things that you don't agree with, if you don't agree with them and you just dismiss them as this really shallow,
02:39:03.000 sexist opinion, the problem is other people are going to read what you're saying, they're going to look into it, and it's going to seem silly.
02:39:09.000 Because the guy has...
02:39:10.000 Volumes and volumes and volumes that you could read.
02:39:14.000 And he has books.
02:39:15.000 He has all these different lectures where he discusses these things.
02:39:18.000 Podcasts where he discusses these things.
02:39:20.000 In really complex and well thought out ways.
02:39:23.000 You can't say he's racist.
02:39:25.000 And what's unfortunate is that he presents this stuff...
02:39:30.000 We should then, our responsibility is to deal with the stuff.
02:39:34.000 Deal with the ideas.
02:39:35.000 Not, what does it matter who he is, how he talks, what he is, what you think.
02:39:40.000 And who cares?
02:39:41.000 But the problem is if you call him one.
02:39:43.000 The idea is what we should all then, oh thank you, take it whether you like him or not.
02:39:48.000 Take it and then wrestle that idea and move it forward.
02:39:51.000 100%.
02:39:51.000 But we also have to be aware that there's a real problem in calling someone a monster who's not a monster.
02:39:56.000 Right.
02:39:57.000 Because then when real monsters come along, you already use that word up.
02:40:00.000 Right.
02:40:01.000 You have to be careful, because there's real racists in the world.
02:40:05.000 There's real bad people.
02:40:06.000 Yeah.
02:40:06.000 So calling someone a bad person just because you don't agree with them, you fall into a very slippery ideological trap, and a lot of times people do it just to get attention.
02:40:14.000 Yeah.
02:40:14.000 They want to throw their hat into the ring.
02:40:15.000 They want their say.
02:40:18.000 Right.
02:40:18.000 They want to get it out.
02:40:19.000 They want to make an impact.
02:40:20.000 They want that love.
02:40:21.000 Yeah, they want to be part of that.
02:40:23.000 They want to be part of the discussion, and they might have very strong beliefs that they think are correct, but I guarantee if those strong beliefs are that Jordan is a racist, you don't know him well.
02:40:33.000 There's no way you could.
02:40:35.000 And there's no way you're really familiar with a lot of the things that he says about race.
02:40:39.000 Right.
02:40:39.000 Because he doesn't say anything racist.
02:40:41.000 He talks in terms of, I mean, he always emphasizes individuals as being the most important thing.
02:40:48.000 That's that Ayn Rand thing.
02:40:50.000 It's not about that.
02:40:51.000 It's about the person.
02:40:53.000 You.
02:40:54.000 Responsible for you, doing you.
02:40:56.000 Despite whatever comes at you, because everything's always going to come at you.
02:41:00.000 And it's not a denial of racism.
02:41:02.000 Racism is fucking horrible.
02:41:03.000 But what it is, is it's saying that we can all figure out a better way to navigate this than the shitty way that racists and bad people have done in the past.
02:41:13.000 Right.
02:41:15.000 You know what was kind of racist?
02:41:16.000 I wanted to put African Americans in my Christmas village.
02:41:21.000 Couldn't.
02:41:22.000 And you go online and try and look up African American figurines for whatever.
02:41:30.000 It's...
02:41:31.000 It's not good.
02:41:32.000 They haven't...
02:41:33.000 Oh, no.
02:41:34.000 Talk about not yet woke.
02:41:36.000 Oh, no.
02:41:37.000 There are prisoners.
02:41:40.000 There's prisoners.
02:41:41.000 There's workers.
02:41:43.000 There's not a lot of just regular families.
02:41:45.000 There's definitely a lot more of white people.
02:41:48.000 Okay.
02:41:49.000 Let's guess this.
02:41:50.000 Let's guess this before we look it up.
02:41:52.000 Yeah.
02:41:52.000 Because this might be one of them untapped things that people forgot to get outraged about.
02:41:56.000 Yeah.
02:41:57.000 Is it possible that you can buy a ceramic slave?
02:42:02.000 Yes.
02:42:03.000 You think so?
02:42:04.000 Well, through a store, maybe not.
02:42:06.000 On the internet?
02:42:07.000 eBay, for sure.
02:42:09.000 Really?
02:42:09.000 Yes!
02:42:10.000 You know how much stuff was put out into the culture of alfalfa kind of representations of kids and slave children?
02:42:22.000 How about that?
02:42:23.000 I mean, I went through my grandmother's keepsakes at one point.
02:42:28.000 Like a shoebox of stuff.
02:42:29.000 And she just had a postcard from her friend.
02:42:31.000 It was two black kids eating watermelons.
02:42:34.000 And I was like, Grandma, what the hell is this?
02:42:37.000 I was like, you know, 15. She's like, oh, it's just a joke.
02:42:41.000 But she wasn't...
02:42:43.000 I only bring it up because that was circulated.
02:42:45.000 That was being pumped out all the time in the culture.
02:42:48.000 So there's definitely stuff you can get secondhand on eBay.
02:42:53.000 Jamie's got a big smile on his face.
02:42:55.000 This could be a real problem.
02:42:56.000 I've got a lot of different slave stuff, like Roman slaves and slaves that like...
02:43:00.000 As long as they're white slaves, we're good.
02:43:02.000 Show me some Roman slaves that are dressed like they were in that Gladiator movie.
02:43:06.000 Roman slaves.
02:43:07.000 That Gladiator movie.
02:43:08.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:43:09.000 He was a slave.
02:43:10.000 Yeah.
02:43:11.000 He had a fight.
02:43:12.000 I got some here.
02:43:13.000 Okay, so this is non...
02:43:15.000 It's not American.
02:43:16.000 So all those slaves are like...
02:43:18.000 Isn't that interesting?
02:43:20.000 It can't be like...
02:43:21.000 It's got to be like, I didn't do it.
02:43:23.000 I didn't fucking put them guys...
02:43:24.000 None of my people made them people slaves.
02:43:27.000 Fuck that, bro.
02:43:29.000 Right?
02:43:29.000 Like you have to have Middle Eastern, you know, ancient.
02:43:33.000 It starts getting a little squirrely.
02:43:34.000 100 BC. Oh.
02:43:37.000 Rowers.
02:43:38.000 But those are white people.
02:43:39.000 They're gray 3D printed.
02:43:41.000 They haven't been painted.
02:43:42.000 They look like Henry Fonda.
02:43:43.000 They're up to the person who buys them, you know, to make them as accurate as they...
02:43:46.000 Right.
02:43:47.000 They look like Henry Fon or Kirk Douglas.
02:43:50.000 They got some white-ass features, though.
02:43:51.000 White hair.
02:43:52.000 They got white people hair.
02:43:53.000 You know?
02:43:54.000 I mean...
02:43:55.000 Just put up racist dolls.
02:43:57.000 I'm sure they'll come up.
02:44:00.000 This seems like an easy search.
02:44:02.000 Don't get on the fucking list, Jeremy.
02:44:04.000 Let's just end this.
02:44:06.000 I'm trying to stumble across it instead of actually seeking it out.
02:44:09.000 Good call, sir.
02:44:09.000 Good call.
02:44:10.000 Yeah.
02:44:11.000 You just don't want certain things typed in.
02:44:13.000 No, exactly.
02:44:14.000 You know, it's like that Alexa thing.
02:44:17.000 Do you have an Alexa at home?
02:44:18.000 Yeah.
02:44:18.000 Alexa's listening right now.
02:44:20.000 I know.
02:44:20.000 That bitch.
02:44:21.000 My friend told me, like, you really should take that off.
02:44:25.000 And I'm like, why?
02:44:26.000 I'm like, it's only when I talk.
02:44:27.000 She's like, no, they listen all the time.
02:44:29.000 There was another murder case.
02:44:30.000 And they confiscated the Alexa because they know the Alexa will have information from the last four days up to the murder.
02:44:37.000 That's crazy.
02:44:38.000 Yeah.
02:44:39.000 That's crazy.
02:44:40.000 But it still plays my music, so I'm keeping it.
02:44:42.000 You don't care.
02:44:43.000 You're not killing anybody.
02:44:44.000 So this is, what is this, a doll that you could make a slave?
02:44:47.000 Yeah, it's like, it's not Lego, sorry, Playmobil or something.
02:44:52.000 Oh, so a bullshit Lego ripoff.
02:44:54.000 He's got Lego hands.
02:44:55.000 Chain around his neck.
02:44:56.000 I'd be mad if I bought that.
02:44:57.000 I thought it was a Lego.
02:44:58.000 Isn't that funny?
02:44:59.000 Like, even if it was really cool, if you were a kid, your parents, like you said, I want Legos, and your parents brought you that.
02:45:04.000 You're like, bitch, this is not Legos.
02:45:06.000 Yeah.
02:45:06.000 This is some wack ass.
02:45:08.000 They're supposed to represent a pirate who was formerly a slave in a historical context.
02:45:14.000 That's hilarious!
02:45:16.000 It's easier to write that sentence than to make a new Lego.
02:45:19.000 He was a former slave in a historical context.
02:45:23.000 Come on.
02:45:24.000 What does that mean?
02:45:25.000 I don't know.
02:45:26.000 Represent a pirate who was a former slave in a historical context.
02:45:30.000 That means he escaped...
02:45:33.000 I know, but that's a weird way to put it, isn't it?
02:45:35.000 Yeah.
02:45:36.000 Isn't that weird?
02:45:38.000 That's not funny.
02:45:39.000 That is so ridiculous.
02:45:42.000 Racist Toy Instructions?
02:45:44.000 That's the news title.
02:45:46.000 For the question mark.
02:45:47.000 Those fucking misleading news titles.
02:45:50.000 Racist Toy Instructions?
02:45:52.000 Tune in after the break.
02:45:53.000 They made them fairly light.
02:45:55.000 Notice how conservative they were?
02:45:57.000 You know?
02:45:58.000 They didn't make them super dark.
02:46:00.000 Yeah.
02:46:01.000 Even they knew that we can't write this one off.
02:46:05.000 We can make him kind of brownish.
02:46:07.000 That guy looked like he had a tan.
02:46:09.000 He looked like he was a Spaniard.
02:46:11.000 Yeah.
02:46:12.000 You know?
02:46:12.000 Like Benigo Montoya.
02:46:14.000 You killed my father.
02:46:15.000 Prepare to die.
02:46:16.000 That's what he looked like.
02:46:19.000 He looked like a Spaniard on a holiday where he caught a nice tan.
02:46:22.000 Are you saying even the racist toy maker was like, no, dude.
02:46:25.000 Don't go too dark.
02:46:27.000 Yes.
02:46:28.000 I'm saying the racist toy maker was like, you know what, we just gotta play it safe.
02:46:33.000 Go with this color.
02:46:34.000 Yeah.
02:46:36.000 Shoot for Guatemala.
02:46:38.000 That's it.
02:46:39.000 That's all I'm looking for.
02:46:40.000 Do you go to Mass on Christmas?
02:46:42.000 No.
02:46:43.000 No mass at all?
02:46:44.000 I go to Willy Wonka's Golden Chocolate Factory.
02:46:47.000 Wow.
02:46:47.000 No, it's all nonsense, man.
02:46:49.000 Why would I do that?
02:46:50.000 I don't know.
02:46:50.000 I'm just asking.
02:46:51.000 Tradition?
02:46:52.000 Because you grew up that way?
02:46:52.000 No, I never grew up that way.
02:46:54.000 You didn't?
02:46:55.000 You didn't have church when you were a kid?
02:46:56.000 Yeah, we did, but it was for a very short amount of time.
02:46:58.000 To say I grew up that way would be hard because I was out by the time I was out of first grade.
02:47:04.000 Oh, yeah.
02:47:05.000 They were talking about putting me back in for second grade, but we moved from New Jersey to San Francisco.
02:47:10.000 Uh-huh.
02:47:11.000 And we didn't find a Catholic school.
02:47:14.000 You know, Catholic schools cost money, too, you know?
02:47:16.000 Right.
02:47:16.000 Went to public school after that.
02:47:18.000 But I was just done.
02:47:19.000 I hated it.
02:47:21.000 Yeah.
02:47:21.000 I was in fear of those fucking crazy people.
02:47:23.000 And your parents didn't take you to church or make you go to church?
02:47:26.000 They did a little bit.
02:47:27.000 I think the idea was back then that if you had kids, you wanted your kids to go to Catholic school.
02:47:31.000 Right.
02:47:32.000 There's a lot of people that did that in that neighborhood when I was little.
02:47:34.000 It was just a normal thing you did.
02:47:36.000 And they were more strict.
02:47:37.000 And, dude, one thing that was for sure, though, I had a conversation with my mom about it once.
02:47:44.000 She was like, you know, your grades were way better when you went into your Catholic school.
02:47:47.000 And I was like, yeah, because I was fucking terrified to get them wrong.
02:47:51.000 They beat the shit out of you.
02:47:51.000 I don't want to live like that.
02:47:52.000 They never beat me, but they definitely threatened me.
02:47:55.000 Really?
02:47:55.000 Yeah, they threatened to make me sit on a nail.
02:47:57.000 You're going to have to sit on a nail in the closet and stay here all night.
02:48:02.000 I hope you brought your blanket.
02:48:03.000 They look really mean.
02:48:04.000 When you're a little six-year-old kid, that's fucked up.
02:48:07.000 It's just a weird feeling to be stuck with these people for nine months.
02:48:11.000 Also, for me, it's like, My parents were splitting up at the time, so it was very confusing.
02:48:18.000 And then I wanted things to have order to them, so I wanted God to make sense.
02:48:22.000 I remember annoying people with that.
02:48:25.000 Yeah?
02:48:25.000 Yeah, I'm like six years old.
02:48:26.000 What do you mean?
02:48:27.000 I'd annoy people talking about what God wants.
02:48:29.000 What do you mean?
02:48:30.000 God says this.
02:48:32.000 God wants that.
02:48:32.000 I would say that when I was six years old.
02:48:35.000 Because I was a little kid who was dealing with my parents splitting up, and there didn't seem to be any order in the world.
02:48:40.000 And I was very nervous.
02:48:41.000 So when I went to Catholic school, when I first got there, I was happy that I was going to go to Catholic school.
02:48:48.000 But then as I experienced it, at six years old, I started going, this is ridiculous.
02:48:57.000 This doesn't make any sense.
02:48:58.000 I'm like, first of all, these people are so mean.
02:49:00.000 They're obviously being mean and nasty.
02:49:02.000 They're not comforting and loving.
02:49:04.000 And I was thinking as a six-year-old, comparing them to the way my grandma was or my mother was.
02:49:08.000 I was like, these ladies are nasty.
02:49:10.000 Why are they being so mean?
02:49:12.000 And I'm like, they don't represent God.
02:49:13.000 And I was like, this is crazy.
02:49:15.000 Wow, it's six.
02:49:16.000 And then you could see kids getting in trouble because their parents hadn't paid for their lunch.
02:49:21.000 And there was like this really, you tell your father to get that money in.
02:49:25.000 Like there was this weirdness to it that just didn't seem loving.
02:49:28.000 It didn't seem like what I thought of when I thought of Christ.
02:49:33.000 It seemed to me like, oh no, this is a dark little trap that you can get sucked into.
02:49:39.000 What's remarkable about that is not just the age, but that you went from...
02:49:44.000 Really, really needing it in a very real way because of what was happening with your family.
02:49:50.000 Normally, you wouldn't turn that quickly.
02:49:53.000 Within a year, it sounds like.
02:49:55.000 By the time I was seven.
02:49:56.000 It was over by the time I was out of there.
02:49:58.000 Usually that change doesn't happen for...
02:50:01.000 15, 20 years.
02:50:02.000 Well, outside of beating me or doing something sexual to me, just the mindfuck of dealing with those mean, nasty ladies scared the shit out of me.
02:50:12.000 I remember crying.
02:50:13.000 They were calling me a baby because I was crying.
02:50:15.000 I was like, whoa.
02:50:16.000 Just not knowing how to deal with human beings.
02:50:18.000 Yeah, when you're a six-year-old and this is going down, you're like, what have I done?
02:50:22.000 I went from always being with my mom or being with my grandma or my grandfather.
02:50:27.000 I was like, everything was cool.
02:50:28.000 And then all of a sudden you're going to school.
02:50:30.000 And this is what you're doing in school.
02:50:31.000 I didn't go to kindergarten.
02:50:33.000 I went to first grade.
02:50:33.000 It was the first thing I went to.
02:50:35.000 Right.
02:50:35.000 So all of a sudden the first grade is like instantaneously being connected to these crazy ladies.
02:50:40.000 Jesus.
02:50:40.000 I was like, oh no.
02:50:42.000 Yeah.
02:50:42.000 Poor.
02:50:42.000 And then I would think about them.
02:50:47.000 And I was thinking about why they're so mean.
02:50:49.000 I remember being like six years old thinking this.
02:50:51.000 I was like, nobody probably loves them.
02:50:53.000 They don't have a family.
02:50:55.000 They don't have kids.
02:50:56.000 They don't have a boyfriend.
02:50:58.000 I didn't think at the time they don't have a girlfriend, but maybe they do.
02:51:01.000 Holla!
02:51:02.000 But for sure, the whole thing was that they didn't have anything.
02:51:07.000 No connection with another human being.
02:51:09.000 What could be lonelier or more anger-inducing?
02:51:13.000 Yeah, it was just dark.
02:51:14.000 They weren't loving people.
02:51:16.000 Do any of your children ask about it?
02:51:19.000 They don't even bring it up?
02:51:20.000 We've talked about God.
02:51:22.000 Yeah.
02:51:24.000 And my basic take is, Jordan Peterson said something really lovely.
02:51:29.000 He said he behaves as if God is real.
02:51:33.000 He behaves as if God exists.
02:51:35.000 Interesting.
02:51:36.000 Not that he believes God exists, because that's sort of a, it's a bit of an intellectual trap, right?
02:51:41.000 If you say, do you believe God exists?
02:51:43.000 Like, okay, define God.
02:51:44.000 No, yeah, then you're in the weeds.
02:51:46.000 What does that mean?
02:51:46.000 Yeah.
02:51:47.000 Because do you think that I think that there's a city in the clouds?
02:51:50.000 No, I don't.
02:51:51.000 Right.
02:51:51.000 No, I don't.
02:51:52.000 Do you think that there's an energy, like we were talking before?
02:51:55.000 Is it possible that there's something bigger than all this thing?
02:51:58.000 Well, there's bigger than everything.
02:51:59.000 Like, if you talk to an ant and say, hey man, do you think there's cities and skyscrapers and airplanes?
02:52:04.000 Like, what are you fucking moron?
02:52:06.000 Get out of here, bitch.
02:52:06.000 I'm trying to drag this dead bug around.
02:52:09.000 How are you talking anyway?
02:52:10.000 I got time for your fucking galaxy talk, universe talk.
02:52:14.000 Get the fuck out of here with your 5G, bitch.
02:52:16.000 I got time dragging this bug.
02:52:18.000 So, I mean, in our perspective, when we're talking about things, It's like we're so small.
02:52:27.000 The way we interface with reality, so crude, even though it's amazing.
02:52:32.000 Yeah, but I like the idea of the not going into the whole intellectual discussion about God, but just like, you know, just kind of act like he does exist.
02:52:43.000 It does make you act a little kinder.
02:52:47.000 It's like a parent figure.
02:52:49.000 It's like, okay, We're not going to do this because it's going to make them unhappy.
02:52:53.000 I try to do what I... When I'm at my best, I try to treat people as if they're me living another life.
02:53:01.000 Treat people as if they're just a...
02:53:03.000 Don't think people as a bother.
02:53:06.000 And it's hard to do.
02:53:07.000 It's hard to do, especially when you're busy.
02:53:09.000 Or when you have your kids with you, or when you're trying to get something done.
02:53:12.000 It's hard to do.
02:53:13.000 I try and walk around thinking everybody is drowning in insecurity.
02:53:19.000 Right.
02:53:20.000 That really kind of makes me give people a pass in the biggest and smallest ways.
02:53:27.000 Everybody, when you see people hustling, do whatever businessman, businesswoman, looks like she's on top of her game, person like on the subway who's obviously going someplace they don't want to go with no money in their pocket.
02:53:40.000 If you realize we're all just drowning in insecurity, it just makes you just give them a little bit of a pass.
02:53:51.000 That's been where my head's been at lately.
02:53:53.000 That's a great place to keep your head.
02:53:55.000 Because we all are.
02:53:57.000 Everyone's balled up.
02:53:58.000 Everyone, even the person you admire the most, is like, ah!
02:54:02.000 Well, you know what we were talking about earlier about the traps that you fall into as you're trying to achieve and do things?
02:54:07.000 You also fall into traps even with things that you love.
02:54:10.000 And you can get so caught up in the things that you love that you kind of forget to keep your...
02:54:21.000 When you're at your best, keep that in close range.
02:54:27.000 Yeah.
02:54:27.000 And if you feel like getting away from you because you're too tired, because you're working too much, pull that back.
02:54:33.000 Keep it at close range where you are operating at your best.
02:54:37.000 But be respectful of that, right?
02:54:39.000 And I think this is something that I've been guilty of in the past.
02:54:41.000 I wasn't respectful of the energy that's required to be at your best.
02:54:45.000 Mm-hmm.
02:54:47.000 I'll just do all these other things.
02:54:50.000 I really firmly believe you only have so much bandwidth in a day.
02:54:54.000 And this is coming from a person who pushes their bandwidth too hard all the time.
02:54:57.000 I think you only have so much in a day.
02:54:59.000 And when you get to a certain state...
02:55:02.000 You wind up diminishing a lot of the other things that you do.
02:55:09.000 Like if you have like seven things cooking in the background on your phone, it's not going to move as fast, allegedly.
02:55:14.000 It actually does work that way.
02:55:15.000 Some computers.
02:55:17.000 But I think that people do that too.
02:55:18.000 You have too many things cooking at the same time.
02:55:20.000 Yeah, we all do.
02:55:21.000 All the time.
02:55:22.000 All the time.
02:55:22.000 And then you take 20 minutes of transcendental meditation and take your nervous system and put it on restart.
02:55:31.000 Do you?
02:55:31.000 And just let it wash out.
02:55:33.000 Are you hypnotizing me, bro?
02:55:34.000 This thing in your hand is freaking me out.
02:55:35.000 Let it wash out.
02:55:37.000 20 minutes.
02:55:38.000 Okay.
02:55:38.000 Because we're all under that all the time, 100% frazzled, no matter how hard you're pushing or just coasting.
02:55:46.000 Three o'clock in the afternoon, two o'clock in the afternoon, four o'clock in the afternoon.
02:55:50.000 That nervous system's shot.
02:55:51.000 Right.
02:55:52.000 We're all the same.
02:55:53.000 How do you do it?
02:55:54.000 20 minutes.
02:55:55.000 What do you do?
02:55:55.000 Talk me through it.
02:55:56.000 You take your nervous system and the result of it is you come out and you've rebooted the system and you can now have a good part of the second part of your day.
02:56:07.000 Do you have a technique you use?
02:56:09.000 Do you use an app?
02:56:09.000 No, I went to a transcendental meditation teacher.
02:56:15.000 Whoa.
02:56:17.000 Without the hippy-dippy, that's the biggest part of it.
02:56:21.000 It literally makes you realize just what you said.
02:56:24.000 We're all just frazzled and running out of steam at a certain point.
02:56:28.000 Your nervous system is shot.
02:56:30.000 All that stuff that's happened just between 7 o'clock and 3 o'clock, whatever would happen, that nervous system has been dealing with a ton of stimulus all day long.
02:56:41.000 That meditation...
02:56:43.000 It gives you a reboot, and it's like a needed thing that's better than sleep, that it actually yearns for.
02:56:55.000 I'm telling you, since I really started dialing it in and did it, the best way I can describe it is that it added another four hours to my day.
02:57:06.000 Whoa.
02:57:07.000 Yeah.
02:57:09.000 How so?
02:57:11.000 Because I would just be limping across the finish line.
02:57:14.000 I'd be exhausted.
02:57:15.000 I'd be trying to do.
02:57:16.000 And with motivation and I'd work really hard, I would push through and get to maybe, you know, two hours more of what I needed to accomplish.
02:57:27.000 When you do this effortlessly without struggle, I'm able to just sail like I did between 9 and 12 that day.
02:57:36.000 Really?
02:57:37.000 Yes.
02:57:38.000 A hundred percent.
02:57:39.000 Do you think by using this practice, you're alleviating tension so you're more efficient with your energy?
02:57:48.000 That's part of it, but it really is taking this nervous system that is dealing with the outside world all the time and just giving it a real practical way to shut down Flatline,
02:58:05.000 and then come back on the grid.
02:58:07.000 Yeah.
02:58:09.000 Yeah.
02:58:11.000 And it, like, your physical body needs a rest.
02:58:16.000 Your things need to be rebooted.
02:58:18.000 Your nervous system is kind of this thing that operates all the time that we're not really that conscious of.
02:58:24.000 We're not really that aware of how hard it's working.
02:58:26.000 And this is a way to pay attention to it and give it a chance to regenerate.
02:58:32.000 That's interesting.
02:58:32.000 And how long have you been doing this?
02:58:34.000 You know, I meditated for, like, since college, just out of reading books.
02:58:40.000 And then, probably about three years ago, my friend said, who always did transcendental meditation, he said, go just see if it dials you in.
02:58:52.000 Actually, the stuff you're doing, the way you talk about meditating, it sounds more laborious.
02:58:57.000 It sounds like you're doing too much work.
02:58:59.000 Just go talk to this guy.
02:59:00.000 And I did.
02:59:01.000 For like three, four sessions, I went and just talked to this guy here in LA, who's a transcendental meditation teacher.
02:59:08.000 And He just explained it and dialed me in on it.
02:59:12.000 And for the last three, four years, I haven't missed a day.
02:59:16.000 Wow.
02:59:17.000 Three or four years?
02:59:18.000 Yeah.
02:59:19.000 Every day?
02:59:19.000 Every day.
02:59:20.000 Seven days?
02:59:21.000 Seven days.
02:59:22.000 No cheat day?
02:59:23.000 No cheat day.
02:59:24.000 How long?
02:59:24.000 No need for a cheat day.
02:59:26.000 20 minutes?
02:59:26.000 It's the opposite of what you want from a cheat day.
02:59:28.000 It's like 20 minutes.
02:59:30.000 If you can get two in, that's the best.
02:59:32.000 If you can get one in the morning and one in the afternoon, then you're like Superman.
02:59:36.000 Wow.
02:59:37.000 But if you can get one in...
02:59:39.000 I'm telling you.
02:59:40.000 Start to finish how long?
02:59:41.000 20. 20 minutes?
02:59:42.000 20. And you do this every day?
02:59:44.000 Every day.
02:59:45.000 Wow.
02:59:46.000 Every day.
02:59:46.000 Maybe that makes sense, man.
02:59:48.000 Because one of the things that people remark about you is how easygoing you are.
02:59:52.000 Like people said, dude, I love when Tom Popp is on your podcast.
02:59:55.000 Because it's so easygoing.
02:59:57.000 You guys gel so well together.
02:59:58.000 You flow together.
03:00:00.000 Yeah.
03:00:01.000 Like you're tuned in to something.
03:00:03.000 We're just present together.
03:00:04.000 We're just, you know, we're both, you know.
03:00:07.000 Yeah.
03:00:08.000 You're kind of not struggling.
03:00:09.000 Right.
03:00:10.000 And that's what it teaches you.
03:00:11.000 This is a big roaring river.
03:00:14.000 Yeah.
03:00:14.000 And it lets you just kind of go underneath, catch your breath, and then come back up into it.
03:00:19.000 Yeah.
03:00:19.000 Do you feel that way when you exercise?
03:00:21.000 Do you feel like when you exercise that you get into like a zone and you reset your brain?
03:00:26.000 For sure.
03:00:26.000 I feel less depressed when I exercise.
03:00:30.000 Yeah.
03:00:30.000 Like if I'm in a funk and I'm like, oh, I don't want to, and I go for a run, I'm like, my day's different.
03:00:36.000 Yeah, it's weird.
03:00:36.000 It's almost like that funk is trying to hold on to control, too.
03:00:39.000 It's weird.
03:00:40.000 Yeah.
03:00:41.000 It's like it's tricking your brain.
03:00:42.000 Yeah.
03:00:42.000 You know, dude, you feel like shit today.
03:00:44.000 I was like, let me just put these goddamn shoes on and go run.
03:00:46.000 Yeah.
03:00:47.000 You know...
03:00:47.000 You feel so good.
03:00:48.000 But the meditation is different.
03:00:50.000 The meditation is...
03:00:52.000 Like, the run will give me energy.
03:00:54.000 I won't feel so shitty.
03:00:55.000 I'm like, I'm okay.
03:00:57.000 You know, I feel good.
03:00:57.000 I feel alive and whatever.
03:01:00.000 But the meditation, in a very subtle way...
03:01:04.000 Five hours later, when you're faced with a stressful situation, you don't feel as stressed as you normally would.
03:01:11.000 Because it's just your nervous system, which is very powerful, has been rebooted and is now able to go and deal with another situation.
03:01:21.000 You should go see him.
03:01:23.000 Okay.
03:01:23.000 I'll do it.
03:01:24.000 I'll give you the name of the guy.
03:01:25.000 He's not amazing.
03:01:28.000 It's not a guru.
03:01:28.000 It's not the one sperm guy.
03:01:30.000 It is not about him.
03:01:32.000 One million dollars.
03:01:33.000 It's not about a religion.
03:01:34.000 It's not about a people.
03:01:35.000 For a drop of my sperm.
03:01:37.000 This guy will not give you his sperm.
03:01:40.000 He's just delivering the message of this little practice, which is very...
03:01:44.000 It's not hippy-dippy.
03:01:45.000 It's very...
03:01:46.000 Practical.
03:01:47.000 Practical.
03:01:48.000 You can use it.
03:01:49.000 Yeah.
03:01:50.000 That's the best part of it.
03:01:51.000 Would you be...
03:01:52.000 Have you tried the tank before?
03:01:54.000 The float tank?
03:01:54.000 No.
03:01:55.000 Would you be interested in doing it?
03:01:56.000 We have one here.
03:01:57.000 You can use it anytime you want.
03:01:58.000 I would like to hear what your take on it is.
03:02:00.000 Yeah?
03:02:01.000 Yeah.
03:02:01.000 Especially if you wanted to practice those techniques in there.
03:02:05.000 Yeah.
03:02:05.000 I think that would be really interesting.
03:02:06.000 It's a crazy environment, man.
03:02:08.000 That would be great.
03:02:08.000 Yeah, you should do it.
03:02:09.000 I'll do it.
03:02:10.000 Yeah.
03:02:10.000 For sure.
03:02:11.000 Not today.
03:02:11.000 I'm drunk.
03:02:13.000 But there's also a bunch of big places around, too.
03:02:17.000 There's the Float Lab down in Venice, and they have one at Westwood.
03:02:20.000 What's the big place that's in Pasadena has the biggest one in the world?
03:02:25.000 And people come in like a gym and go float?
03:02:28.000 Yeah, you sign up, go in there and float.
03:02:31.000 Pasadena's got a giant...
03:02:32.000 Just Float.
03:02:33.000 Yeah, Just Float and Pasadena.
03:02:35.000 Shoot, don't they have like 40 fucking float tanks or some crazy shit?
03:02:39.000 I don't know how many they have, but I think they use all Float Lab stuff too.
03:02:43.000 That would be cool.
03:02:45.000 You know, it's another interesting thing.
03:02:47.000 If you get the morning one in, you know how sometimes you wake up, you've slept, you went to bed at 11, you're up at 7, but you're exhausted because your night's sleep was restless.
03:02:57.000 You got up to pee a couple times.
03:02:59.000 Who knows?
03:03:00.000 You look back at your bed, it was just a disaster.
03:03:05.000 You do those 20 minutes before you go about your day, just before the kids get up, just get 20 minutes in.
03:03:12.000 It was more valuable than what you tried to accomplish in that 8 hours spinning around in the sheets.
03:03:21.000 Especially for someone like you, right?
03:03:23.000 Whose job is to create things.
03:03:25.000 Yeah.
03:03:25.000 Right?
03:03:26.000 To put your mindset into a particular place is super beneficial if you're just creating things all the time.
03:03:32.000 Totally.
03:03:32.000 But it's for everybody.
03:03:34.000 Right, right, right.
03:03:35.000 It's literally like we're all just human beings just struggling every day going out doing all this stuff.
03:03:41.000 And it's like you could be, you know, a single mom living in a city taking the bus to work after dealing with your kids.
03:03:50.000 Her nervous system is being bombarded.
03:03:53.000 Yeah.
03:03:55.000 20 minutes just to kind of – sitting there on the bus.
03:03:58.000 You could do it on the bus with all this other – it's not a pristine thing.
03:04:05.000 It's not a hippie thing.
03:04:07.000 It's not an – I was going to say elegant, but it is kind of elegant.
03:04:12.000 It's not a special thing.
03:04:14.000 It really is just like a controlled nap in a way.
03:04:20.000 And it just gives you more to go on.
03:04:24.000 We're all, everybody, no matter what you're creating, no matter what you're doing, we're all under assault all the time.
03:04:31.000 Right?
03:04:32.000 Yeah.
03:04:32.000 I mean, don't equate it to war, but there's like bombardments of energy and stuff that's coming after you all the time.
03:04:39.000 You have to kind of tend to the system that's dealing with that.
03:04:42.000 Yeah.
03:04:43.000 I think anything that gives you a perspective re-shift or re-reboot is great.
03:04:47.000 Anything.
03:04:48.000 Whether it's going for a swim in the ocean.
03:04:51.000 Whatever the fuck it is.
03:04:52.000 Something that gives you a perspective reboot.
03:04:55.000 We get caught in some pretty gross ruts.
03:04:58.000 Yeah.
03:04:59.000 Perspective reboot is a cool way to say it.
03:05:01.000 Yeah.
03:05:01.000 I think we have these views of the world.
03:05:06.000 Sort of...
03:05:07.000 We have these patterns that we sort of recognize.
03:05:11.000 We see them.
03:05:12.000 They're out there.
03:05:13.000 And we get locked into them.
03:05:14.000 And we're just visiting the same websites and seeing the same people and doing the same things every day.
03:05:20.000 Yeah.
03:05:20.000 And sometimes you need something different.
03:05:22.000 Yeah.
03:05:23.000 Some...
03:05:24.000 Yeah, to knock you out.
03:05:25.000 You need something that gets you to think about other stuff.
03:05:29.000 Yeah.
03:05:29.000 You know, maybe it's going to a place.
03:05:31.000 This is why travel is so good.
03:05:32.000 I used to never get travel when I was a kid.
03:05:34.000 Yeah.
03:05:35.000 I was like, who the fuck wants to travel?
03:05:36.000 I like being home.
03:05:38.000 I do like being home, but one of the things about travel is it allows you to experience the feel of someone's culture in real life.
03:05:44.000 Like, you're walking through the streets of Cologne, Germany.
03:05:47.000 You're like, wow, this is how these people live.
03:05:49.000 It's crazy.
03:05:50.000 Yeah.
03:05:50.000 Yeah.
03:05:50.000 We walk through the streets of Rome.
03:05:52.000 Takes you out of yourself.
03:05:53.000 Yeah.
03:05:53.000 It gives you this, first of all, it gives you this appreciation that there's different rules over here, but these are still people, modern people, just like you.
03:06:01.000 Yeah.
03:06:01.000 And then some of your ancestors came from here.
03:06:03.000 Right.
03:06:04.000 But here they are with those different rules.
03:06:06.000 Millions of them.
03:06:06.000 Yeah, millions of them.
03:06:07.000 And then they got people that are coming into them from Africa.
03:06:09.000 Right.
03:06:10.000 And it's like, whoa, this is crazy.
03:06:12.000 This whole thing is fascinating.
03:06:15.000 And then you're around Pompeii, and you're seeing the ruins where Mount Vesuvius erupted.
03:06:21.000 You killed all these people, and you're wandering through all this stuff.
03:06:23.000 This is fascinating.
03:06:25.000 Yeah.
03:06:25.000 It's a long way from thinking about the three apps that you sit on your phone every day and get your news and get your thing and check your Instagram and check your Facebook.
03:06:33.000 That's a whole other...
03:06:34.000 A whole other mind-blower.
03:06:35.000 Oh, my God.
03:06:36.000 It's a whole universe of other stuff to think about.
03:06:38.000 Yeah.
03:06:39.000 That's why I love walking in New York.
03:06:40.000 Like you have your routines of like where you're walking.
03:06:43.000 Just get on the other side of the street and go the other direction.
03:06:46.000 You're a wild man.
03:06:47.000 It's a whole other world!
03:06:51.000 But really, it's like, just literally, like when you're on your run with your dog, and you, if you just look the other way from when you normally are like doing your thing, it's a whole nother perspective.
03:07:03.000 It's a whole nother world.
03:07:04.000 It's crazy.
03:07:06.000 But literally, just looking the other way, running the other direction.
03:07:10.000 It's true.
03:07:12.000 But look, it's not a small thing because we like the order.
03:07:17.000 That provides calm and safety if you're just going that same route all the time.
03:07:22.000 But then there's a limit, I guess, and it starts acting negatively on your life and your head.
03:07:30.000 Right, if you're just a constant vagabond traveling around the globe, that's probably not positive either, right?
03:07:35.000 Yeah.
03:07:36.000 Always going to a new place, never having a home.
03:07:38.000 I love home.
03:07:39.000 Yeah, I love home too.
03:07:40.000 I love home, which is so weird in a career where we have to travel so much.
03:07:48.000 I hate to say, equate it to good and evil, but that there's some weird sort of balance in this life and that we do really have to experience negative things to appreciate positive things for what they really are.
03:08:02.000 If everything is positive, if you're the lottery winner when you're five, Yeah.
03:08:06.000 And you win that golden power ticket 500 million jammy when you're five years old.
03:08:10.000 And it's all made.
03:08:12.000 Then you don't have to, imagine growing up.
03:08:14.000 It'd ruin your life.
03:08:15.000 And you're like, listen, little Tommy, you never have to work again.
03:08:17.000 It would ruin your life.
03:08:18.000 What are you talking about?
03:08:19.000 Grandpa bought you a lottery ticket when you were five.
03:08:21.000 Yeah.
03:08:21.000 If you'd be so nice to give us some of that money, that would be nice, but you have $790 million.
03:08:27.000 You'd be like, what?
03:08:28.000 Grandpa, yeah, Grandpa put it in a trust and it's all yours and you can have it when you turn 18. But you could give us some of it now.
03:08:34.000 There's a sign right here.
03:08:36.000 Come on, Billy.
03:08:38.000 You would be fucked.
03:08:39.000 Imagine growing up, being like Richie Rich.
03:08:42.000 Yeah, no, you'd be a mess.
03:08:44.000 You'd be like, what the fuck?
03:08:45.000 You'd be a mess.
03:08:45.000 You'd have a face full of cocaine, chasing these feelings that you can't get just from practical, everyday work.
03:08:51.000 Can you imagine?
03:08:52.000 Remember that fucking commercial, that cartoon, Richie Rich?
03:08:55.000 Oh yeah, I used to buy his comic books.
03:08:57.000 Every year at the Jersey Shore, I'd get his comic books.
03:09:01.000 He always had new ones.
03:09:02.000 That's gotta be one of the weirdest cartoons of all time.
03:09:05.000 A really rich kid.
03:09:06.000 Really rich?
03:09:07.000 Who had all the money in the world.
03:09:08.000 All the poor kids would read it and go, fuck, I wish I was Richie Rich.
03:09:11.000 Man, this guy's got everything.
03:09:12.000 He's got his own go-kart.
03:09:14.000 Look at him sitting there.
03:09:15.000 He's got bachelors, he's got a sundae, chocolates.
03:09:18.000 I want my little dear boy comfy while he takes a nap.
03:09:22.000 Teehee!
03:09:23.000 And he says, oh, well, thanks, Mom.
03:09:26.000 They bring over candy, and there's a butler dressed like that dude with the tailcoat, coincidentally.
03:09:32.000 But look at the name of it.
03:09:34.000 It's Richie Rich, the poor little rich boy.
03:09:37.000 Right?
03:09:37.000 That's what it was.
03:09:38.000 The poor little rich boy.
03:09:39.000 Because he's not happy.
03:09:40.000 All taken care of.
03:09:41.000 Because he's not happy.
03:09:42.000 Right.
03:09:42.000 First of all, look at the size of his ankles.
03:09:46.000 Jesus Christ.
03:09:47.000 Kid's got gout.
03:09:48.000 He's got the gout.
03:09:49.000 He's got gout, for sure.
03:09:50.000 But the dude who's got the ice cream sundae, he's the same dress, the same as...
03:09:56.000 Go back to the picture, please.
03:09:57.000 The dude with the ice cream sundae is...
03:10:00.000 In the very top.
03:10:01.000 Yeah.
03:10:01.000 He's wearing the same clothes that we were mocking in that other thing.
03:10:04.000 Ah, that's right.
03:10:05.000 You're right.
03:10:06.000 He's wearing the tails.
03:10:07.000 He's wearing the whole...
03:10:07.000 That's the whole same jamming.
03:10:09.000 He's got the whole getup.
03:10:10.000 The 1800s getup.
03:10:11.000 See, I used to think about a guy like that, like in The Shining or something like that.
03:10:16.000 Yeah.
03:10:16.000 When there's some butler.
03:10:17.000 And I would think of, oh, that's a proper man.
03:10:19.000 That's a man that...
03:10:20.000 He's the guy from The Shining and he's just gonna come over and be proper and normal.
03:10:26.000 Yeah.
03:10:26.000 Normal.
03:10:27.000 But then, as I got older, I realized, like, oh, no, no, no, no, no.
03:10:30.000 That's a guy.
03:10:31.000 That's just a dude.
03:10:32.000 That's just a guy, and this guy has this fucked up job where he has to dress like he lives in another time period and wait on all these rich white people.
03:10:39.000 Like, what in the fuck is this?
03:10:41.000 That's a tortured man right there.
03:10:43.000 If you were a serious black rapper, like one of them guys with diamond teeth, wouldn't you get a white servant...
03:10:52.000 Like that guy?
03:10:53.000 Yeah, that's so funny.
03:10:55.000 All white butlers?
03:10:56.000 Yes, all white butlers.
03:10:58.000 Just like super high-end guys from England.
03:11:02.000 Yeah.
03:11:03.000 They're professionals.
03:11:04.000 It's true.
03:11:05.000 Why don't they do that?
03:11:05.000 He's a professional butler, sir.
03:11:08.000 It's hilarious.
03:11:09.000 I love diamond teeth.
03:11:11.000 Yeah, poor little Richie Rich.
03:11:13.000 He wasn't happy.
03:11:14.000 His name is Cadbury.
03:11:16.000 Cadbury?
03:11:16.000 Oh, Cadbury, the perfect butler.
03:11:21.000 Cadbury was his butler.
03:11:23.000 Look at him.
03:11:24.000 Oh, Cadbury.
03:11:25.000 The perfect butler.
03:11:26.000 Bring over that sundae.
03:11:27.000 Look at that other poor kid.
03:11:28.000 He's all deformed and shit.
03:11:31.000 He looks like he's evolving.
03:11:32.000 That other kid looks like his grandparents were those Australiapithecus.
03:11:38.000 And Richie Rich is like, I'll show you what it's like to be rich, rich, rich, rich, rich.
03:11:42.000 I never had this...
03:11:44.000 Neanderthal looking fella.
03:11:45.000 I never sat at a table before.
03:11:47.000 Look at that.
03:11:47.000 Blow that picture of that kid again out.
03:11:49.000 Tell me he doesn't look Neanderthal-esque.
03:11:51.000 He has a monkey face.
03:11:53.000 He fucking straight up does.
03:11:54.000 He does.
03:11:55.000 He's got a total Neanderthal thing going on.
03:11:57.000 His ears are real low.
03:11:58.000 His nose isn't quite big enough, but they definitely gave him some odd features.
03:12:02.000 He does look terrible.
03:12:04.000 Yeah, he's got a bald patch in the back of his head.
03:12:06.000 Looks like he's got a bullet wound.
03:12:07.000 I'm going to try to scalp him.
03:12:09.000 Poor little guy.
03:12:10.000 Poor little fella.
03:12:11.000 What was his name?
03:12:12.000 I don't know.
03:12:14.000 Fuckface.
03:12:15.000 It's Richie Rich Cadbury and his friend Fuckface.
03:12:18.000 Fuckface.
03:12:20.000 Oh, girlfriends.
03:12:22.000 He's got girls.
03:12:22.000 I had all these comic books.
03:12:23.000 Look at this.
03:12:24.000 Look at all the girls.
03:12:25.000 Yeah.
03:12:25.000 That is hilarious.
03:12:26.000 Hit the bill's eye.
03:12:28.000 So is one of them his mom?
03:12:29.000 The lady with the blonde hair is his mom, right?
03:12:31.000 Little Otta is her name.
03:12:32.000 Oh, but the blonde hair is his mom, right?
03:12:34.000 It's Little Otta.
03:12:35.000 Little Otta?
03:12:36.000 Lotta.
03:12:37.000 Lotta.
03:12:37.000 Their names are written down up here.
03:12:38.000 Oh, Little Otta.
03:12:40.000 Little Dot and then Oh, Christ.
03:12:42.000 They're all his girlfriends.
03:12:43.000 Little Lotta, get it?
03:12:44.000 She's big.
03:12:45.000 You get it?
03:12:46.000 I swear to God, I'm having flashbacks from every summer as a child.
03:12:50.000 I'd go to this bookstore and there'd be comic books and I'd buy these little rich, richy-rich comic books and go home and read them.
03:12:58.000 Look, he's looking at his shadow.
03:13:00.000 It's his dollar bills for his shadow.
03:13:04.000 He's got a hot girlfriend.
03:13:07.000 When is a badass rapper gonna recreate this picture for the cover of his album?
03:13:12.000 I think that would be perfect for, like, Gucci Mane.
03:13:15.000 Richie Rich, yo.
03:13:16.000 Come on, tell me that wouldn't be.
03:13:17.000 Have him walk away.
03:13:18.000 Let me Google.
03:13:19.000 Because he might have already done it.
03:13:21.000 Because he takes a lot of pictures with his lovely wife.
03:13:24.000 That would be a perfect picture for Gucci Mane and his wife.
03:13:28.000 Funny.
03:13:28.000 Dollar Bill behind him.
03:13:29.000 Holla.
03:13:30.000 Dollar Bill, y'all.
03:13:31.000 Cha-cha-ching!
03:13:34.000 It's so weird, right?
03:13:36.000 What a crazy idea for a comic strip.
03:13:38.000 Bay Area rapper named Richie Rich, so...
03:13:40.000 Oh, there you go.
03:13:41.000 Yeah, and I don't remember it being like...
03:13:42.000 They weren't really sending a message like money isn't important.
03:13:46.000 No.
03:13:47.000 That was awesome.
03:13:48.000 Wouldn't you want to be Richie?
03:13:50.000 That was the moral.
03:13:52.000 He could get ice cream whenever he wanted it.
03:13:54.000 That was always the thing, too.
03:13:55.000 They're always getting ice cream.
03:13:57.000 Cadbury, the perfect butler.
03:13:59.000 Frightfully fit.
03:14:01.000 Yes, Mrs. Rich, one should keep fit.
03:14:04.000 I exercise all the time.
03:14:07.000 How interesting, Cadbury.
03:14:09.000 That's literally the lines.
03:14:11.000 That's the comedy.
03:14:12.000 Look at the size of her arms.
03:14:14.000 Oh, they're like ham hocks.
03:14:15.000 She just mounts you and just wraps your head up in those arms and smothers you to death.
03:14:19.000 You try to chew your way out, but you run out of air.
03:14:22.000 You run out of air.
03:14:23.000 How interesting, Cadbury.
03:14:25.000 She kills you with those meat flaps.
03:14:28.000 Get over here, Cadbury.
03:14:30.000 And if she's ever in trouble, she could literally leap off a building with those things and just glide to safety.
03:14:35.000 Look at him, he's jacked.
03:14:36.000 Wow, Cadbury's jacked.
03:14:37.000 Cadbury's fucking jacked, dude.
03:14:38.000 He takes off his...
03:14:39.000 Look at him on the left.
03:14:40.000 He's jacked.
03:14:43.000 He's going into a hot tub.
03:14:45.000 He's got a towel on and no shirt.
03:14:46.000 He's ripped.
03:14:48.000 When did Cadbury become so...
03:14:49.000 And look at him.
03:14:50.000 What a butler.
03:14:51.000 Whoa.
03:14:52.000 Homoerotic.
03:14:53.000 What a butler.
03:14:54.000 So strange.
03:14:56.000 Wait a minute.
03:14:58.000 You're putting your...
03:14:59.000 Oh, God.
03:14:59.000 Look what he says there.
03:15:00.000 Gosh, I've been keeping you from your bath, Cadbury.
03:15:03.000 I'm sorry.
03:15:04.000 Please go.
03:15:06.000 No need for biology, sir.
03:15:08.000 Someday I shall relate this story of how I once lost all my clothes at the South Pole.
03:15:15.000 And then he says, what a butler!
03:15:17.000 As he's walking, I'm going to walk away with this tiny little towel around his junk.
03:15:21.000 Look how little that towel is.
03:15:22.000 Where do you even find a towel that little that makes it all the way around your ass?
03:15:26.000 Yeah, it's true.
03:15:28.000 Every other towel that's that little, your dick will be hanging out, son.
03:15:31.000 You've got to make a choice.
03:15:32.000 You're covering your dick or you're covering your asshole, but you're definitely not covering both.
03:15:37.000 What kind of strange snake-like towel are you possessing?
03:15:41.000 Six inches across, 12 feet long.
03:15:44.000 Yeah, Cadbury got on the juice.
03:15:46.000 Started lifting.
03:15:47.000 Got a fitness coach.
03:15:48.000 That's so funny.
03:15:49.000 That was very homoerotic.
03:15:50.000 It was weird.
03:15:51.000 They were allowed to do weird stuff back then.
03:15:53.000 Imagine if you had that cartoon today.
03:15:55.000 Fucking feds would show up at your door.
03:15:57.000 Yeah.
03:15:57.000 Hey, Tom Papa, let's see your fucking hard drive.
03:15:59.000 Another one of the pedophile conspiracy.
03:16:01.000 Creepy piece of shit.
03:16:02.000 The fuck you been up to?
03:16:06.000 Tom Papa, look what's up.
03:16:07.000 This podcast is five hours long.
03:16:09.000 How long have we gone today?
03:16:11.000 Three hours and a half at least, right?
03:16:14.000 Pre-15.
03:16:15.000 It's the best!
03:16:16.000 Tom Papa, it's so easy to talk to you, my friend.
03:16:18.000 Do you have anything you're selling?
03:16:20.000 Thanks for the wine.
03:16:21.000 My pleasure.
03:16:22.000 Stick around for a while.
03:16:23.000 I don't want you driving anywhere.
03:16:24.000 They can listen to my podcast.
03:16:26.000 Okay.
03:16:26.000 Come to Papa.
03:16:27.000 Come to Papa.
03:16:28.000 And what is this other thing?
03:16:29.000 The NPR? NPR Live From Here.
03:16:31.000 It's called Live From Here.
03:16:32.000 Live From Here.
03:16:33.000 Every week.
03:16:34.000 Six o'clock on your...
03:16:35.000 Six o'clock east on your national public radio or whatever.
03:16:39.000 And when are you going to be at the Lovely Comedy Store next?
03:16:42.000 Probably tomorrow.
03:16:43.000 Oh, shit.
03:16:44.000 Yeah!
03:16:46.000 Got to work out some stuff.
03:16:47.000 Want to do my sold-out show in the main room?
03:16:49.000 Yeah!
03:16:50.000 Okay.
03:16:50.000 Tomorrow?
03:16:51.000 8 p.m.
03:16:51.000 show.
03:16:52.000 I'm there.
03:16:53.000 Holla!
03:16:53.000 Sweet.
03:16:54.000 Look at that, folks.
03:16:54.000 We just made a booking.
03:16:56.000 I'm on.
03:16:57.000 All right.
03:16:58.000 Thank you, everybody.
03:16:58.000 Bye.
03:16:59.000 Bye.
03:17:03.000 That's great.